#(though to clarify: by this point billy can eat again so everythings fine

[roxyteal]

No Sprite.

For a moment, Billy's mind failed him, as he attempted to process this universal truth dropped on him just now.

No Sprite. No Sprite in this Coca-Cola Freestyle machine that Viktor insisted on integrating into this movie theatre roughly half a year ago. Was that Tarwill pranking him? What'd he done recently to deserve such an injustice, served upon him with the cold, emotionless finality of... Something, Billy realized he couldn't even figure out the end of that metaphor.

No Sprite. Not even Diet Sprite, the clearly inferior version of Sprite. Which, the well-made robot had to admit, he would've settled for if it came down to the wire.

But no. There was nothing.

"Hey, uh... Ya good over there?" At last, Billy heard Denied from nearby. His refreshments of choice happened to be a bucket of popcorn chicken (and that in of itself took some time to prepare), and a medium water (and would probably be a crime if that was out). Neither of the food items were currently selected, but he remembered the order.

When Billy didn't respond, the merman looked over. He snorted into a laugh. "Oh my God dude. Do not be dramatic about this. Look, just-..."

He gestured. "Just. Try this one. It has it."

Billy followed his gaze to where Denied was waving. What was previously just out of immediate view, revealed a second machine. Out of three, apparently, now that they were visible. True to his word, this one's screen was different - Sprite (and Diet) were lit up.

Oh thank God.

The well-made robot moved on to it, proceeding with unprecedented ease - at least compared to just moments ago, where he was probably looking foolish.

With the most level-headed tone he could muster, Billy retorted, "I was not going to be dramatic. Give me a little credit."

He watched the promised soda fill his (also medium) cup, grinning at the soothing visage of bubbles and sounds of fizz, lifting the ice to the top. Meanwhile, Denied stated, rather bluntly, "Ya can't lie for shit, Billy."

His brother was right, but, Billy wasn't about to admit that. Never!

[platypanthewriter]

The Dragon’s Prince

Chapter One: Humans Aren't Furniture

Steve knew he was in the right spot when the first villager to see him--a man with a huge bruise on his forehead--yelped and ran, clutching at what looked to be a solid-gold chamberpot. 

“I heard there��s a dragon here,” Steve called out, standing in his stirrups.  His horse sighed. “I don’t want any trouble--I definitely don’t want your chamberpots--”

“Who the hell are you?”  A young woman poked her face over the fence near his elbow.  “What’s that sword for, then?”

It was both convenient and annoying, Steve thought, to be travelling without his entourage and ceremonial armor.  “This sword wouldn’t hurt him.” He grabbed the hilt and pulled a few inches of blade to show plain steel, not the slick, greenish sheen of an anti-magic enchantment.  

“Mmmm,” she hummed, squinting.

“His privateer license expired, is all--” Steve shrugged.

“Go away!  You’re here because he ate our sheep!” a kid yelled, and Steve sat back down in the saddle, brushing snow off his arms.

“Is that what happened?”

“He just strolled into town and asked whose sheep he’d eaten,” said another villager, hanging out a window.  “Been up on north field. Hucked treasure at everyone.” More of them were venturing forth, one of them holding a golden harp.  

“Broke my front tooth,” said the kid, yanking her lip back to show a gap, “--he was naked.”  Steve stared between his horse’s ears, and the kid smacked his boot.  “You gonna take all the stuff he gave us? It was too much, but he gave it to us.”

“No,” Steve grimaced at the guy hiding in plain sight “behind” a tiny shrub, “--no, keep your...chamberpots, I understand a trade caravan will be coming through, if you want to sell some…” he trailed off as a villager waved and pointed him to a ceramic vase larger than she was.  “Uh, some of his...gifts. They usually keep track of where he’s been.” A cheer went up around him, and he sighed. Definitely the right place, he thought.  Now I just have to convince him to listen to me.  And risk his life. If anything, he felt more tired, and he rolled his shoulders, hiding his wince as it strained the bandages under his jacket.  While I’m doing those two impossible tasks, maybe I can convince him to put on pants.

After some negotiation--and a stern refusal to accept harps or encyclopedias in payment--Steve stood at the base of a fall of boulders, and began to climb.  He started scrambling faster as the sun set, and the boulders shifted, and caught his boot. He froze, taking a shaky breath, and clung to the rock face, remembering the expression on General Hopper’s face after Steve received his orders.  

“Why not a dragon that responds to summons,” Hopper had gritted out.

“We need a fire dragon,” Steve had echoed his father’s words in his own voice, and tried to sound certain.  “He--he doesn’t kill anyone outside his license. I just--I don’t know what I can offer him. He could be in danger from them too, and they didn’t give me any--I can’t go to a dragon, even that dragon, and say “Please fight our battles, we’ll definitely figure out something to pay you with later--”

“There was that bandit.”  Hopper had shaken his head, and stomped away.  

Steve had imagined himself seared black, and speared on a tree like a butcherbird’s breakfast, and wondered semi-hysterically which had happened first.

“E-except that,” he’d agreed.  “I’m--I’m sure there was some--”

“He is a dragon,” Hopper muttered.

Steve yanked on his leg, yelling at the flash of pain, and the boulders shifted again, sending an avalanche of rocks and dirt down slamming into his shoulders, and the back of his head.

When he awoke, he was warm, and clean, and everything was bright through his eyelids.  “...oh shit,” he whispered, curling tighter, “--I’m dead, and now everyone else will be dead--”

“Whoa there,” breathed a voice next to his ear, “--pretty boy.”

Steve stilled, opening his eyes on gold, and golden scales, because the voice of a dragon was unmistakable.  It rumbled all around him and blew across the skin of his back like bellows over hot coals. He swallowed, closing his eyes again.  Of course I’m naked.

“I know, touching me feels like heaven,” the dragon continued, “--but I have to ask.  What drives a prince...to climb a landslide...to knock on my door?”

Steve tried to stand, and found his right foot was a sea of pain.  His vision went starry.  

“Whoa, whoa,” the rumble said, and smooth scales curled around him.  Steve allowed himself to be propped up, then lifted, grabbing at the talons around his butt and ribs, and blinked into the face of the gold dragon.  He’s young, he thought distractedly, his head’s barely the size of a pony.  

“My--I’ve been sent--”

“Are you a present?” asked the dragon, ignoring him.  “I took your giftwrap off, it was a bit--” it waved a claw, “--torn, after I dug you out.  I think you’d look great on this rock here,” it held him up to a slanted boulder the size of Steve’s bed, and tugged some furs from a pile to toss over it.  “I think your ass would really bring the room together.”  

“My--what,” Steve tried to turn, and the dragon leaned its head within view, teeth bared in what Steve suspected was an annoying dragon grin.  “My--I am not--I am his Royal Highness Prince Steven of Hawkins, Duke of Harringtown and Knight of the Realm, and I have been--”

The dragon sniffed him, and he resisted jerking away, swallowing.  “Why send you out without your guard? You were wounded before you came here,” it informed him, and he stared back into enormous, bluey-gold eyes.

“I know that.”  Steve gritted his teeth.  

The dragon’s grin widened.  “Entirely-gold hoards are out this year.  I think a prince’s smooth skin would really make it pop.”  

“I thought you didn’t eat people.”

The dragon blinked, then huffed.  “I’m just saying you’d look nice lounging--”

“I need your help,” Steve hissed.

The dragon momentarily stopped trying to angle him different ways in the light.  “What are you offering?” he asked, the flames flickering in his throat.

Steve rolled his eyes.  “I don’t know what you want.  You must have enough money,” he waved at the piles of treasure, “--this isn’t even your main horde.  And you aren’t paying taxes, like you agreed to do when you applied for your privateer license--”

“...you.”  The dragon went still, running a knuckle down Steve’s face, and then met his eyes again and laughed.  “As--as decor, naturally--”

“In a cave where you put me?” Steve asked, to clarify.  It was better than being roasted, he figured, or dropped onto a spike.  “I’ll need to ask you to defer my payment until--”

“One night, with you,” the dragon interrupted, turning its face away.  “I mean, if you can’t tear yourself away after--”

“One night?” Steve squinted at him, and then grabbed for the dragon’s talons again, kicking for balance as he was suddenly lowered to the floor of the cave.  The mountainous gold coils and wings folded and curled inward, packing themselves impossibly tiny until they resolved into a human-ish shape covered in shining scales, and sporting dragon horns.  

He crouched, frowning at Steve’s swollen foot, then smirked up.  “One night...with me.”

“Oh!” Steve almost clapped in realization, but caught himself, blushing, as the dragon-man leaned his face into his scaly hand and cackled.  “Just…” he trailed off, rephrasing his objections, until he remembered the amount of people at risk, and the whole reason he was there.  Maybe he enjoys sex where the human survives, he told himself, and held out his hand.  

The dragon took it in both of his, edging much too close for a handshake, and held it, grinning, as though he was delighted Steve had offered it, and didn’t intend to give it back.  

He leaned closer, his clawed thumb rubbing gently at the skin between Steve’s knuckles, and licked his lips, his gaze dropping to Steve’s mouth, and Steve barely had time for a startled inhale before he had warm lips pressed to his.  Up close, the dragon looked a bit like a very expensive costume, Steve thought, like someone at a masquerade ball, when he would wonder whether the person pressing him into the wall knew who he was kissing. He wondered, now, whether the dragon had ever attended.

 The gold was digging into his butt, and his foot throbbed, but the dragon’s warm bulk was surprisingly cozy.  He had unreasonably long lashes, and soft lips, and Steve let himself relax into the kiss, licking curiously into a dragon’s mouth.  He found it nearly steaming hot, and thankfully clean of singed bandit. The pile of treasure he was lying on shifted.  

He winced as something jabbed into his side, and the dragon reached over--still licking gently into Steve’s mouth--and bent the metal arm of it back with a grating creak.  The reminder that a dragon could have crushed his skull with one hand, and instead was running soft fingertips along his jaw--and shifting scaly knees so as not to jostle his sore foot--made him feel a bit like jelly inside, and he laughed into the kisses, panting.  He pushed himself up on his elbows, into the kiss.  

The dragon hummed, grinning against his mouth, and dropped alongside him.  His hands were pleasantly hot, running up and down Steve’s ribs. “You should see what I’ve got, before you agree to anything.”

“What?” Steve murmured back, tossing a leg over the dragon’s waist.  

“We can--we can make sure this is fine--after I’ve saved your humans.” 

“What--what do I call you,” Steve whispered into the kisses, and the dragon pulled back to grin at him, then leaned in for another kiss, and another.  

“You don’t--you don’t know my name?”  He kissed Steve’s lips again. The skin was starting to feel tender.  

“You’re designated by color, ability, and area,” Steve rambled, accepting kisses when he paused.  “--it’s--mm. It’s a mess--the way you keep flying around--I thought your name must be some--some Dragonish growly noise that--that they didn’t know how to spell, which, rude--” he panted into another kiss, losing his train of thought.

“...Billy,” he snickered into Steve’s ear.  “You always let strangers do this?”

Steve remembered with a jolt that he’d been sent to bring a dragon back, whether it required his oath or his life, and he shook his head.  “It’s dangerous, what I--what I need from--”

Billy bit, oh-so-gently, up the side of Steve’s neck, and he groaned, losing track of his words as his eyes fluttered shut.  “You finally came without your guards.”

“Were you waiting to get me alone?” Steve snorted.  “If you weren’t giving pornographic statues to children, you wouldn’t rile everyone up so much--” 

Billy snickered.  “It was heavy! I didn’t wanna carry that thing!  Fun though it was.”

“She was eleven--”

“Oh, she kept cows, she’d seen worse.  You probably bought it from her.”

“We couldn’t very well--”

“So she’s better off, now.  Several times the price of a couple cows.”  Billy’s teeth shone sharp in his grin, and he leaned in to run his knuckles up Steve’s side.  “I’ve got some treasures I’ve been saving for you…actually, here--” he leaned off the edge of the rock, then held up a vial of sparkling silvery fluid.

“It’s--it’s just my ankle,” Steve stared at it.  “We can stop by a healer on the way back, there’s no need for--”

“You’re hurt,” Billy uncorked it with his teeth, “--that’s what it’s for.  If I’m not paying attention, and you get hurt again, it’ll use it up later, maybe.  Maybe your tears will start healing the sick.”

“How would I even find out that was happening,” Steve asked, frowning at the vial.  “You should sell that stuff to some kingdom with a dying queen, or something.”

“Or maybe,” Billy whispered, “--you’ll live as long as a dragon.  Try for that one.”  

“How am I supposed to try for something--”

Billy grinned, sticking it in Steve’s mouth, and Steve drank it, staring at him over a potion worth as much as...a prince’s ransom, he wondered.  A king’s castle?  

“Why didn’t you drink it yourself?” he asked, as Billy frowned at, tapped it, and tipped the last drop onto Steve’s extended tongue.  “You could--”

“I’m a dragon,” Billy licked his lips, watching Steve’s mouth, “--you think I’m going to get hurt?  You’re fragile.  If something happens--”

“Why do you care about me?”  Steve asked, lowering his eyes to flex his suddenly-painless foot.  He reached down to tug at the loosened bandages. They were stuck together with blood.  “I mean--”

“You--you’re the prince,” the dragon laughed, tossing the empty vial against the far wall, and Steve nodded, biting his lips.

“Right.”

“No, I mean--” Billy crouched in front of him, cocking his head to catch Steve’s eye, “--everyone knows what you’re like.  We know what you do, because you’re the prince. You’re on coins--”

“I’m valuable.”  Steve nodded, keeping his shoulders relaxed, and giving his best public ‘welcome’ smile.  

“No,” Billy pushed him back, climbing over him again, and kissed his nose, “--no, I mean--I know you, I read every copy of the Imperial Gazette--”

Steve snorted, bursting into cackles of laughter.  “You think you know me through that?!”

“...no,” Billy muttered, his gold scales pinkening.

“What’s my favorite color?”  Steve grinned up at him, and Billy leaned in for another kiss.

“Gold,” he whispered.  “The best color.”

“...I do like yellow a lot,” Steve whispered into the kiss, and Billy squeezed him.

“I know enough about you,” he mouthed along Steve’s ear, “--to know I want to know everything about you.”  

Steve’s heart pounded, and he took a shaky breath, then cleared his throat.  “...what kind of name for a dragon is ‘Billy’,” he mumbled, his head muzzy with warm hands and bright smiles.  “Shouldn’t you be. The Slayer. Something about fire. Smog.”

“Rude,” the dragon whispered against his mouth.  “Billy the Slayer?”

One more question, Steve thought, before he burns them all away, kissing me.  “Wha--Billy.”  he cleared his throat, leaning into the hand on his head.  “Wait. Why did you burn that man?” 

Billy punched his shoulder.  “You saw his crimes!”

“I didn’t,” Steve raised his eyebrows, tugging a fur over himself, and lying back against the boulder with a sigh, “--because you didn’t send in your paperwork, like usual--my lungs are full of bandit flesh now--you couldn’t just break his legs and drop him at a guard station--”

“I--I definitely sent--” he paused, thinking.  “I didn’t.” The dragon scrambled away, sliding down the mound of treasure in his tiny human form.  “Ah, here they are--”

“How do you fill them out?” Steve asked.  “Do you use your claws? With your eyes shut?  Because that would explain--”

The cavern brightened with a poof of flame.  “I use a quill--look--” he clambered back up the shifting mounds of treasure, waving a handful of papers, “--see, look, he stuck his cock in places it wasn’t wanted, so I stuck a tree through it.  And set him on fire.”

Steve grimaced, finally relaxing.  “Oh. Well. That’s fair.”

“And then I threw his golden chamberpot at the first person I--”

“Who has a golden chamberpot,” Steve started snickering, and couldn’t stop, curled against his warm dragon.  Eventually the days travelling wounded caught up to him, and he mumbled his replies, then snored, with the vague impression of gentle claws combing through his hair.

@neonlaynes​ @tracy7307​

[that-shamrock-vibe]

Movie Review: The Lion King (Spoilers)

Spoiler Warning: So I am slightly later to the party than originally intended but I will be talking about this movie in detail and am posting this review a day or so after it is released in U.K. cinemas, so if you haven’t yet seen the movie, either go and watch the original or wait until you have seen it before reading on.

General Reaction:

I have several problems with Disney’s “live-action” remake of The Lion King, not only with the choices the actual movie makes, but unfortunately also some of my ranting will be down to the live-action remake fatigue that has struck almost every Disney fan with the recent onslaught of remakes coming out. For me, The Lion King is where I have reached my  peak because up until now the live-action remakes at least brought something different from the originals for me.

Here however, if for some strange reason you haven’t seen the original animated version of this movie...as I know at least one person who hasn’t...then this may be a brand new enjoyable movie for you. However, for the rest of the world that has, this was pretty much the exact same movie scene for scene with dialogue that seems very tired and characters that lack the basic sense of emotion.

I just want to clarify something, anyone who knows me knows I do not talk follow trends when writing these reviews, so the fact that I am going to spend a lot of this review pretty much complaining about the movie is not because it seems to be the “it thing” to hate it, but instead I have actual reasons as to my disdain.

I do blame Jon Favreau for some of the problems with the movie, especially because he hit it out of the park with The Jungle Book remake back in 2016. I can remember walking out of the cinema after seeing that movie with such a sense of enjoyment from my cinema experience which was decorated in Jungle Book paraphernalia, to the actual movie which was obviously based on the original animated version but also took inspiration from the novel the original was based on.

Here though there was no decor save for one lion totem hidden away, and from the very start of the movie I was seriously underwhelmed by it all.

I don’t know if something got lost between the 2D animation and the CG animation but the movie just felt rather slow compared to the 1994 animated version. There was something so iconic and special about the original version that maybe it was simply the case that nothing could match up to it, but if that is the case then the talent behind the scenes should have at least tried to do something different with the story like Aladdin and Dumbo tried to do.

I genuinely believe that Jonny Fav blinked when tackling this compared to The Jungle Book because while The Jungle Book is a classic it isn’t as iconic or beloved as The Lion King and therefore maybe he didn’t want the backlash if he changed it and it wasn’t received well.

Also, this “live-action” version of the animated movie has 30 minutes more content in it than the original 1994 animated version, this is both a good and a bad thing. The two worst crimes of this movie, aside from it lacking originality and emotive facial expressions, as well as one particular song which I will get into, are two minor scenes that stretch-out pointless plot-points.

The first just after the “Circle of Life” opening where the movie follows the travels of the mouse that Scar eventually tries to eat. But this mouse is followed from the bottom of the cliff-face into the cave that Scar is in.

The second is after Simba begins to question everything he has been told about life and slumps down on that ledge. In the original 1994 version there are leaves and particles that originally spell out “Sex” that are now replaced by a piece of Simba’s mane flying away and going on a journey for five long minutes.

This hair lands in a lake, floats across a Savannah, is eaten and subsequently pooped out by a giraffe, rolled away in a poop ball by a dung beetle before being separated from the pile and being carried up to Rafiki’s tree by worker ants. In the original, a breeze carries leaves across Rafiki’s path which he catches and it is over in about 2 minutes.

Both scenes are dragged out, almost completely irrelevant to the plot and just took me out of the movie questioning why I’m following a mouse and a piece of hair.

Then I have to quickly talk about the stampede scene which leads to Mufasa’s death. 2-D Animation vs. photo-realistic technology is becoming a massive battle in cinema recently particularly at Disney, but there are many things that hand-drawn animation can get away with that live-action cannot. Not only did I get zero facial expressions from Simba or Mufasa in this scene but also that stampede scene in the original animated movie is so grand and has such an emotive response from audience members no matter how many times you see it whereas here, it didn’t seem as epic. It still felt grand because it’s a stampede but not on the level of the animated version.

To end this section on a positive, I do appreciate the photo-realistic CG because it does comprise the entire movie, even the scenery, because it all does make it seem like watching realistic animals for the most part.

Cast:

Alright so there are some good and bad thing about the cast and characters. For a start, the characters in “live-action” are emotionless, lack any real form of empathy and require your love of their 2D animated counterparts to gain any affection from the audience.

The best characters in this version are Timon, Pumbaa and the Hyenas, even Zazu is high-up for me...this presents another problem with the movie, the comic relief of the movie is the best part about it. But it is true, while Billy Eichner as Timon and Seth Rogen as Pumbaa may not be as strong a double act as Nathan Lane and Ernie Sabella, they are still rather funny together and actually are given more of a meta humour than in the original movie. Not only with their version of “Hakuna Matata” but also the new Hyena distraction scene which in the original is the Hula scene but now starts off as the beginning of Beauty and the Beast’s “Be Our Guest”.

The hyenas meanwhile are made more formidable and fearsome in this movie, not only is Florence Kasumba as Shenzi more of a leader of her clan even opposing Scar at times, but both Keegan Michael-Kay and Eric André prove to be almost as good a double act as Kay & Peele. For this reason they’re high up on my list.

Donald Glover is an okay adult Simba. He has got that innocent youthful tone that adult Simba should have given the experiences of his life, but he does just feel like he’s reading a script rather than actually acting..

Beyoncé is, well Beyoncé in lioness form but the thing that lets her down is the lack of emotion on Nala’s face. Also I don’t understand why the back of her ears and tail were blackened aside from the fact that Favreau wanted Nala to stand out from the other lionesses.

Scar is as fierce as ever and Chiwetel Ejiofor proves once again why he is a great villain actor.

I was also pleasantly surprised by Simba’s mother Sarabi in this movie as not only did she have more to do but her backstory with Mufasa and Scar, which doesn’t necessarily make me want a prequel but adds to the Hamlet story that this story is based on, and has Scar state that she chose Mufasa over him...so does that mean she was somehow romantically involved with her now brother-in-law? Also Alfre Woodard is great in the role.

James Earl Jones is back and...it’s simply for nostalgic purposes because there is nothing really elevated in his performance. If anything his performance falls slightly flat in parts but otherwise he’s fine.

The biggest letdown for me is the character of Rafiki, who in the original 1994 version is my favourite character. I love the fact he’s a shaman, I loved his first meeting with Simba I could easily watch it over and over again. I do not understand why they effectively cut that scene and the message of morality that comes with it.

Then he only had his stick when preparing for that climactic fight. It seemed as if they were saying that point was him coming out of pacifism but it isn’t fully shown, but I wanted to see Rafiki walk around with his stick like he did in the original, they copied pretty much everything else but got rid of that?!

Also the one bit of facial emotion that any of these characters show is in the beginning “Circle of Life” sequence when Rafiki carries baby Simba to the edge of Pride Rock and Simba looks genuinely sad to be pulled away from his mother.

Speaking of young Simba, both JD McCrary and Shahadi Wright Joseph do a good job as the young versions of Simba and Nala respectively. I think McCrary tries very hard to recapture the emotion that can bring grown men to tears when Simba finds his father dead, it doesn’t quite stick but he tries.

Songs:

I don’t know if it is because the original score and soundtrack is so iconic and ingrained in popular culture, or just that reworks of the same songs don’t really work...Aladdin for all its plusses still fell into that category...but the songs from the original movie in this version do nothing good for me.

“Circle of Life” is supposed to be the energised introduction to the movie, but if you were to watch the opening to this movie and the original side-by-side, it is practically a shot for shot copy but this version is slower and therefore misses a lot of the cues. Even the shot where you first see Zazu flying over to Pride Rock is underwhelming and they screwed that up twice, first at the start and then again at the end of the movie.

“I Just Can’t Wait To Be King” was also slightly lackluster because of the fact this movie seemed to take away the fantastical elements of the performances in favour of apparently making it more grounded, but it was still a fun performance. I think the two young actors playing the two young cubs did a great job vocally and the performance of them hiding from Zazu amongst the animals was an okay alternative.

“Be Prepared” is the one time I have been actually offended in one of these Disney live-action remakes, this song is one of the greatest villain songs in history. They take a performance which fully executes the Elephant Graveyard but also turns the hyenas into the New Reich! This is Scar monologuing for a couple of minutes and the “song” lasts about maybe 30 seconds. This was my favourite song in the original and it fizzles out completely.

“Hakuna Matata” is a fun song as it was in the original, like “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King” the fantastical elements are taken out of it so Pumbaa swinging on the vine swing and the use of the bugs and the diving into water are all taken out. Even so, Billy Eichner and Seth Rogen do a good job singing as does JD McCrary...Donald Glover on the other hand is not a singer.

“The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is probably my favourite song in the movie, and it’s a song not original to The Lion King which is more of a problem for the revision of the soundtrack to the original 1994 version but the fact Timon and Pumbaa got essentially their own doo-wop group going of the animals that also inhabit their home, it’s just such a good rendition.

“Can You Feel the Love Tonight?”...if it wasn’t for Beyoncé would be an absolute bomb because Donald Glover, again, cannot sing. Also the song happens way too quickly. The movie is effectively a shot-for-shot remake but some scenes are cut short and Simba and Nala’s reunion is made very short before this song kicks in.

Recommendation:

I can’t say this is a perfect movie, if you love the original and want to see that again you will like this just fine, if you were wanting something different like how Aladdin and Beauty and the Beast altered themselves slightly then you won’t really get that here.

I still recommend it as a movie to see just one because it is an important movie to see just to see how stretched out these live-action remakes are becoming. However, I will agree with those that say it is one of the worst remakes.

[allthingsfangirl101]

The Interning Assistant Part 22/27

Part 22– Suspicions

Series Masterlist

Stuart's POV

"Liz Martin's office," I answered the phone making Liz smile.

"Hey Stuart."

"Hi, Mr. Chetty. What can I do for you?"

"Is Liz free for a lunch meeting today? It'd be with a few of the department heads."

I looked up to see her watching me. I sent her a wink as I pulled up her schedule. "Her lunch is free."

"Perfect. Schedule it for 12:30 today. I will send her an email explaining everything." He was about to hang up when he added, "You're doing a great job, Stuart."

"Thank you, sir." I looked over at Liz and smiled.

"Keep it up," he said before hanging up.

"What was that about?" Liz giggled.

"You have a lunch meeting with Chetty and a few other department heads. He's going to send an email explaining everything," I said the smile never leaving my lips.

"Yay," she sighed making me laugh.

"Come on," I laughed. I stood up and walked over to her desk, sitting on the edge of it. "It won't be that bad." I reached down and took her hand in mine, subconsciously rubbing circles on the back of it.

"It's a lunch meeting with Chetty and a table of old men who, through the entire meal, are undressing me with their eyes."

"But, free food," I smiled, trying to reassure her even though I hated the idea of them looking at her like that.

"True," she laughed. "It's always worth it when there is free food."

I looked at her, unable to keep myself from smiling. "You going to be okay eating lunch without me?" She teased.

I let out an exaggerated sigh making her giggle. "I guess," I said, putting my hand over my heart. "I'll probably eat lunch with my friends."

"I like your friends," Liz said softly, looking down at our hands with a small smile on her lips.

With my hand that wasn't holding hers, I lifted her chin so she was looking at me. "They like you too," I whispered.

After Liz when to her meeting, I met up with my friends for lunch. "Hi Stu!" Neha smiled as she gave me a hug.

"Hey guys," I said as I pulled away from the hug and sat down.

"How's work going?" Billy said, sending me a knowing look.

"Work is good," I shrugged, biting my lip.

They didn't know about Liz and I. Whenever they asked, I always told them that we were fine and that nothing was weird. They never believed me, but they went with it.

"That." Neha said quickly, pointing at the smile on my face. "Right there. That smirk."

"I am not smirking," I said quickly.

"Okay, fine. That smile. That smile is the reason I never believe him when he says nothing happened between him and Liz." Neha said, turning towards the rest of the group.

"I don't know," Yo-yo stuttered.

"Just because he smiles when he talks about work, doesn't mean he is secretly banging his boss." Nick said, trying to give me the benefit of the doubt.

They just looked at me, but I avoided their questioning gazes as I opened my soda. "No. Way." Neha said slowly. I bit my lip when I heard her squeal.

"Dude," Billy laughed.

"Wait, I'm confused." Yo-yo said slowly.

"Stuart," Lyle said my name like a question. I looked up at their smiling faces and let out a sigh.

"Okay, yes but. . ." I was cut off my yelling, squeals from Neha and a chorus of "I knew it's".

"Guys!" I yelled, looking around. I lowered my voice and leaned in causing them to do the same.

"Look, Liz and I could get into a lot of trouble so please don't say anything. I'm serious," I said, looking around the table at everyone.

"So how does it work?" Neha asked, practically bouncing up and down in her seat.

"How does what work?" I sighed.

"You and Liz," she whispered.

"Well, we aren't allowed to be seen together at work so it makes things a little more complicated. When we're here, we act like we aren't a couple."

"What about after work?" Lyle asked.

"After work, we go to one of our apartments and hang out."

"Right," Billy laughed. "Hang out." He added air quotes with his fingers and wiggled his eyebrows.

"One of us brings dinner and we eat and watch movies," I clarified.

"So you guys haven't. . . You know," Neha giggled.

"No, we haven't." I shrugged not really wanting to talk about mine and Liz's sex lives.

"You guys haven't had sex since the night at the club?" Billy asked.

"Well," I stuttered. "It's kind of complicated."

"Meaning?" Neha asked.

"Meaning, I've never done this before and I don't want to screw it up. Plus we could get in trouble. We decided to take it slow."

"Taking what slow?"

"Son of a. . ." I mumbled under my breath as I felt them walk up behind me. I looked over my shoulder to see Eric and Kenny standing behind me, sending me knowing smirks.

"Taking what slow, Stuie?" Eric asked again.

"And who is we?" Kenny asked.

"Nothing. It's just this girl from back home," I tried to brush off as I turned back around.

"From back home or from back at the office?" Eric smirked.

I looked over my shoulder and glared at him. "No," I said through gritted teeth.

"Geez, Stu. Don't be so offended." Kenny laughed. "Everyone is already talking about how you and Liz are sleeping together."

My blood boiled as I realized these two asshats were spreading the rumor that Liz was sleeping with her intern.

Shit.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked through gritted teeth, fully turning around.

"People aren't saying that," Lyle sighed, coming to my rescue. "The only people talking about that are you two."

I turned away from them, continually clenching and unclenching my hands into fists. I took deep breaths to try and calm down as they continued to talk about Liz.

"But everyone hears us," Kenny said in a duh tone.

"Doesn't mean they believe you," Lyle sighed, rolling his eyes. "Will you two ever stop spreading rumors about Liz? It doesn't do anything. All it does is make you guys look like jerks."

"But it's fun," Kenny shrugged.

"That's where you're wrong, Lyle. It does do something. It bothers Lizzy." Eric smirked.

"Are you really trying to sabotage her career?" Billy scoffed.

"No, old man. We're destroying Lizzy's little Miss "Mr. Chetty's favorite worker" image," Eric laughed.

"She actually does the hard work for us," Kenny smirked. "All we have to do is spread a few rumors, like she is sleeping with her intern, and her actions and mannerisms make everyone else believe it."

"So," Eric chuckled. "Where is Lizzy? I thought you two always eat lunch together. Did you guys get into a fight?" He fake pouted.

He put his hand on my shoulder, making me jump. I jerked my shoulder, making his hand fall back to his side.

"She's in a meeting," I said through gritted teeth, clutching my hands into fists. I looked up to see everyone sending me nervous looks.

"A real meeting or the kind of meeting she sets up to get away from her clingy intern who follows her around like a puppy?" Eric laughed.

I felt Neha reach over and put her hand on my knee. I looked at her before rolling my shoulders and looking back at Eric and Kenny.

"No," I said through gritted teeth. "She is at a meeting with Mr. Chetty and a few department heads."

They just rolled their eyes before turning their attention to my friends. "Aw how sweet. Stuie here has friends other than his boss." Eric smirked.

"Do you guys know Lizzy?" Kenny asked.

"Nope," Billy said shaking his head. His comment made me snap my head up, allowing me to catch Billy sending Nick a smirk.

"But we do know the amazing, smart, creative and beautiful Ms. Liz Martin," Nick added making me smirk.

I looked back at Thing 1 and Thing 2 to see them glaring at Nick and Billy. I held in a laugh as Eric rolled his eyes.

"She's not that beautiful," Eric mumbled.

"Are you blind?" Neha laughed. "She's absolutely gorgeous."

"If I was ten years younger," Billy sighed, dreamily.

"Don't you mean twenty years?" I laughed, turning the attention away from Eric and Kenny.

I bit my lip as Eric sat next to me and sighed. "You know something, Stu. If you and Liz are really screwing, I gotta give you credit. She is a piece of work. I don't think I could handle all of her. . . Craziness."

My knuckles were officially white from how tight I had been squeezing them.

"You know, our little Lizzy is the kind of girl guys can only handle one night. They only talk to her when they need her to do something. Not the kind of girl that a guy would be willing to settle down with, you know," Eric whispered, wrapping his arm around my shoulders, "Liz is the kind of girl you get into bed and then leave her there."

My blood boiled as I watched as Eric smirked.

"If you two keep running your mouths about Liz," I threatened, not breaking eye contact with Eric.

"You'll what?" Eric scoffed, finally getting up. "Run to Daddy Chetty and tell on us again?"

"Why would I need to?" I scoffed. "He already believes what ever Liz or I say over whatever the hell you two idiots tell him."

I sent them a wink before turning my attention away from them. I held in a laugh as I heard Kenny ask Eric, "Is that true?"

My friends smiled at me as Eric and Kenny left. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I ran my hands through my hair.

I opened my eyes when I heard Billy scoff. "What a bunch of assholes," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah," I scoffed. "Now you have officially met the two people responsible for making Liz's life a living hell."

"I can't believe you work for them," Yo-yo said turning towards Neha.

They continued to bash on Eric and Kenny, but I didn't join in. All I could focus on was the fact that they were spreading rumors about Liz.

"Stuart, you okay?" Nick said, making me snap back into the conversation.

"No," I sighed, running my hands through my hair. "I can't believe they spread rumors to try and ruin Liz's reputation."

"Stuart," Lyle sighed. "I've worked with all three of them since they started here so trust me when I tell you, no one ever believes a damn word they say about her. People respect Liz more than they believe Eric or Kenny."

"It's just," I sighed. "She doesn't deserve this. She doesn't deserve any of this."