#(this was like a m!a but i remember making this into a self para so--)

[spanishskulduggery]

I was just wondering what those phrases in Spanish are called that use multiple words for a single meaning, like for instance tonight I saw for the first time “de si mismo” and had no idea that meant “by yourself”. I feel like I need to study more of these phrases lol

I believe the general word for it is something like a "collocation" [la colocación in Spanish - colocar means "to put/place" so it's literally "a placement"].

I did some kind of list on that a while ago but it's when certain words are always paired together - and treated as one singular unit that you can't/shouldn't break up in the word order (normally) - and they tend to mean something in particular and sort of take on a new meaning almost like an idiom

A common example is el vino tinto which means "red wine". You use tinto/a instead of rojo/a where rojo/a is the traditional word for "red", but tinto/a is the word for "deep red" that's almost black

[And if you were going to describe it, you generally consider vino tinto its own unit... so el vino tinto dulce "the sweet red wine"; and you wouldn't really put dulce between the vino and tinto, though I suppose you could but it's a little awkward]

Another one is las bellas artes "fine arts", where normally el arte is masculine and bello/a is "beautiful but together they mean "fine arts"

From what I remember after doing research, collocations are specific words or phrases that appear with very little variation almost like set phrases and idioms or even idiomatic expressions almost

-

However, in your specific case, sí mismo/a means "oneself".

That sí is a 3rd person object pronoun - like mí "me" or ti for "ti". They show up mostly when you come across a preposition - a, de, en, entre, por, para

In this case sí mismo/a means "oneself", but they can exist separately and are gendered. Also, it's not specifically used with just de, and it doesn't always mean "by yourself"

The word mismo/a which often means "same" means "self" when placed behind a pronoun

yo mismo/a = me myself tú mismo/a = you yourself usted mismo/a = you yourself él mismo = he himself ella misma = she herself ellos mismos = they themselves [m+m, m+f] ellas mismas = they themselves [f+f] ustedes mismos/mismas = you (all) yourselves nosotros mismos = we ourselves [m+m, m+f] nosotras mismas = we ourselves [f+f]

And same with vosotr@s mism@s "you all yourselves [informal]" for Spain

In fact I would say normally "by yourself" would be used with por and if it's "you" that's stated it's like por ti mismo/a

Hazlo por ti mismo. = Do it yourself. / Do it on your own. [m] Hazlo por ti misma. = Do it yourself. / Do it on your own. [f]

The "yourself" would make sense if you were using an impersonal construction... where in English we say "you" when it's like "oneself":

Uno debe creer en sí mismo. = "You should believe in yourself." Uno debe creer en uno mismo. = One should believe in oneself.

I believe the de is used as "by yourself" if it's like authorship or with specific verbs, but I see it and think "of oneself"

-

Other instances of the sí and object + mismo/a:

en sí = in and of itself la cuestión en sí = the problem itself, the problem on its own [lit. "the question/problem in and of itself"] Pelean entre sí. = They fight amongst themselves. Ella misma lo dijo. = She herself said it. / She personally said it. Ella misma me lo dijo. = She told me herself. Solo piensa en sí mismo. = He only thinks of himself. Solo piensa en sí misma. = She only thinks of herself. Solo piensas en ti mismo/a. = You only think of yourself. Dicen que solo pienso en mí mismo. = They say I only think of myself. / They say I only care about myself. valerse por sí mismo / valerse por sí solo / valerse por uno mismo = to make it on one's own / to be self-sufficient, to fend for oneself

con is a weird one because it has an irregular object form (thanks to Latin) so it's contigo "with you", conmigo "with me", or consigo which is 3rd person singular

Siempre hablo conmigo mismo/a. = I always talk to myself. Hablas contigo mismo/a mucho. = You talk to yourself a lot. Habla consigo mismo. = He talks to himself. Habla consigo misma. = She talks to herself.

Past that it's con ellos mismos, con ellas mismas, con nosotros mismos, con nosotras mismas etc etc etc

[laurienne26]

🌟 New profile pic

Hello! 😊

I decided to change my profile picture to show you my growth in art during these months and for... reveal my face to you (at least through an illustration). It was quite a challenge to draw myself, but mission accomplished😄 While I was drawing, I wanted to add something I like. The first option was to draw a cute stars earrings I own, but then I remember my love for roses, so the frame and jewelry are in honor to that. It is not finished yet, but I really wanted to share it here.

✨ Story time: I showed the portrait to a friend to guess who I drew. Do you know what she replied? She mistook me with Mina from Twice. I was amazed for the comment and that she did not recognize me, haha I don't feel like I resemble to her, but it was cute to be mistaken for Mina because I love her so much❤️✨ Mina's fan here!❤️

🌹 Have you ever make a self-portrait of yourself?

Have a nice day!❤️

C a n v a s : 3000 x 3000 pixels (10 x 10 inches) R e s o l u t i o n : 300 DPI P r o g r a m : Paint Tool Sai 2 D a t e : 21/02/2023 - 27/03/2023

¡Hola! 😊 Decidí cambiar mi foto de perfil para mostrarles mi crecimiento en el arte durante estos meses y para... revelarles mi rostro (al menos a través de una ilustración). Fue todo un reto dibujarme a mí misma, pero misión cumplida😄 Mientras dibujaba, quise añadir algo que me gustara. La primera opción fue dibujar unos lindos aretes de estrellas que tengo, pero luego recordé mi amor por las rosas, así que el recuadro y las joyas son en honor a eso. Todavía no está terminado, pero tenía muchas ganas de compartirlo aquí.

✨ Story time: Le enseñé el retrato a una amiga para que adivinara a quién había dibujado. ¿Saben cuál fue su respuesta? Ella me confundió con Mina de Twice. Quedé impresionada por el comentario y porque no me reconociera, jaja No siento que me parezca a ella, pero fue lindo que me confundieran con Mina porque le tengo mucho aprecio❤️✨ ¡Aquí una fan de Mina!❤️

🌹 ¿Alguna vez te has hecho un autorretrato?

Tengan un lindo día❤️

Instagram

[naomisyamada]

P I A N O A N D M U G I C H A [self-para]

please be aware that his para contains mentions of death though no explicit descriptions.

When she thinks of her brother, Naomi thinks of the piano. It was an easy association to make. Akira used to play and was exceptionally talented, mastering all the greats from Chopin to Billy Joel, Bach to Elton John. She also thinks of the glass of mugicha he drank in the sweltering summer months, precariously balanced on the piano lid as he practiced. Naomi was always sure it would spill due to how vigorously he pounded the keys, particularly when he banged out a favorite such as Mendelssohn's Lieder ohne Worte or No. 5 of Brahms' Hungarian Dances. And yet, it never did. It would slide closer and closer to the edge of the lid with every heavy G or C but never fell. Never even slopped over. 

What got Naomi thinking about all of this again was the pianist at the mall. She heard him playing a spirited rendition of a Prince song as she headed to her late afternoon shift at Donna's. The man at the piano looked nothing like her brother. He was white and balding, about twice the age her brother had been when he died, but there was something about how he played, the way his agile fingers curled over the keys that screamed Akira. It stole the breath from her windpipe.

Naomi had the urge to speak to this man but didn't know what she would say. Maybe something about the song he was playing. Do you know any Brahms? Have you ever balanced a cup of tea on the piano as you played? 

She kept on walking until she reached the roller rink and jangly disco drowned out the sound of the piano.

Instead of driving back to her apartment after work, Naomi went in the opposite direction. For fifteen minutes, her Oldsmobile Cutlass shot westward through a sleepy and often derelict-looking sprawl of shopping plazas and squat office buildings. Eventually, the scenery leveled out into empty lots dotted with trees that looked like shadow creatures. Crooked telephone poles lined the road, droopy power lines like strings of fate leading Naomi ever onward. She slowed the car as she turned into a neighborhood.

The community was well organized, with tidy plots in tidy rows and streets with names like Red Pepper Loop and Sugar Loaf Court. As she drove past the neat houses, that kitschy Malvina Reynolds song from the sixties sprung to mind. Little boxes made of ticky tacky, little boxes on the hillside, little boxes all the same... 

Naomi parked on the street and stared at her childhood home through the car window. She took it all in. The oatmeal-colored wood slating. The old oak tree reaching for the sky with its sprawling, sturdy branches. Looped around one of those branches was a swing she'd never seen before, swaying gently in a gust of evening wind. A stone path led to the front door. Naomi's lips flattened in a hard line. 

There was the wide driveway where she and Akira used to color with chalk, tracing the outlines of each other's bodies and drawing in features with stubby nubs of chalk in colors like flamingo pink and alligator green. Akira accused her of drawing him ugly on purpose, which was true. Naomi vividly remembered how the chalk dust felt between her palms. 

Naomi imagined getting out of her car and taking the stone path up to the house. Her mom opening the door for her. Saying welcome home in her yellow apron, the smell of coxinhas wafting through the whole house. She would see Akira's baseball bat leaning against the wall, the rug with its little black burn mark on the upper lefthand corner, the collection of plastic floral cups in the cupboard. This is where they laughed, where they slept. She'd see the wood post in the kitchen where they charted their heights over the years. The Sears couch they piled on in their pajamas, watching cartoons or listening to their dad tell colorful stories about his childhood in Okinawa. His description of his quaint beachside town had been so illustrative that Naomi was sure she could hear the waves, taste the salt on her lips. 

Akira would emerge from his room when he heard her walk through the door. He'd smile at her with the too-long incisors that made him look like a fox. She'd pull him into a hug and refuse to let go even when he protested, even when he called her cruel names and yelled at her for squeezing too tight. Maybe everything would be the way it used to be. The way it was supposed to be.

Even though that glass of mugicha on the piano had never tipped over, Naomi could picture it happening so clearly in her mind it was as though it was a genuine memory. She could hear the clank of plastic against tile, the puddle of brown tea next to the bench. She supposed this non-memory appeared when she learned about the car crash. Or was it after the drunk driver who killed her brother had gotten off scot-free? She couldn't remember and realized it did not matter. It wasn't a real memory, and her baby brother was still dead. 

All of a sudden, Naomi heard music. She assumed it must be the car radio but saw that it wasn't switched on. The music was distant, but she knew right away what it was: the sound of a somber piano ballad. Naomi felt like she had been punched in the gut. She put a hand over her stomach.

Naomi's parents divorced shortly after Akira's passing, their marriage unable to bear the massive weight of a dead child. Naomi alone was not enough to keep it together. She understood. Akira had been the glue that bound their family together. He'd been the talented one, the one destined for greatness. Her role as big sister had been to make way for him. Protect him. And she'd failed.

She thought again of the mugicha that had never spilled. She saw it in a floral cup at the edge of the piano lid.

Worrying at her bottom lip, she peered at the house - her family's house that was no longer theirs - and stared at it until her vision blurred with tears.

The ballad marched on.

[drsilverfish]

https://twitter.com/mishacollins/status/1331800202252931073

Hi All,

Pressing record for posterity. 

Reminding folks to take a moment for a self welfare-check. If you’re feeling overwhelmed; eat, drink, rest, turn off social media for a bit. Take care of yourselves. This too shall pass (into queer television history). 

Read on for more on PR and Schrodinger’s Destiel.

Cock-up or conspiracy, ”rogue translator” or censorship, we can’t know, for certain. I highly doubt one person alone was responsible, either for inclusion or excision, in the chain which leads to approval for broadcast.

The sequence of events that resulted in Universe 1 N. America and Universe 2 Latin America may be obscure, but it’s still amazing that we have them. 

It’s amazing because Supernatural has always included metanarrative elements (elements which comment on the narrative structure itself). And this development is like The French Mistake writ large.   

Warner Channel broadcasts across Latin America; that version of the 15x18 narrative is out there. It was seen, it was witnessed. It cannot be spun as a “fan conspiracy”. 

It’s, sadly, likely, of course, that Dean’s, “Yo, a ti, Cas,” in the Latin American Warner Channel broadcast version will now be “fixed” in the DVD versions, to align with this narrative of a “rogue translator”. Who knows, it may appear as an extra “cut scene” - i.e. as SPN para-text (text adjacent, but excised from official canon) in those markets. 

What is happening now, is crisis management PR. Those four words, and their presence/ absence, are significantly impacting CW corporate image, as well as SPN public narrative reception, in a way which is causing backlash for the commerical property. So the Empty is sucking the Latin American version into black goo, in order to frame the North American version as The Truth.

“Dean was always too stunned in the moment to reply,” is, as a narrative beat, comprehensible, but as a narrative conclusion, queer-phobic. Whatever “The Truth” is, of how the Latin American dub version came to be, Dean’s “And I you, Cas,” makes sense in the story, which is why it’s there. Withholding it, maintains a desperate shred of ambiguity; heteronormativity clutched like a torn shirt against the storm water of previous narrative crescendo.    

We’ve mused that Chuck can be read as a stand-in for Corporate in S15. We should muse that The Empty can also be read that way. It was angry because things “got loud”, remember? In other words, because the queer subtext “got loud”.  

It’s deeply unfair that Misha gets pushed to the front to defend this, when he has been the most vocal LGBTQ+ ally amongst the cast. But, that’s why he’s being asked (obligated) to do it. The poor guy has over two thousand replies to his last tweet in this chain, as I write (Nov 26 2020). 

His offer to listen is, I believe, both genuine, from him, AND corporate using him as a PR human shield. Same as, I’ve no doubt, Berens fought to write 15x18, but the fact that he’s an out, gay, writer, also functions as a PR human shield, in terms of mitigating criticisms of the treatment of queer narrative elements at SPN’s end.

A satisfactory response isn’t going to be forthcoming on this, from TPTB.  

Because this is a tale about a queer subtext, and a requited queer love story, between Dean and Cas, which almost, almost, broke cover, spooked the corporate horses, and got shoved back in its box. 

Except it can’t be. 

It is not, at the end of the day, up to Warner, the CW, or the creatives who work on a story, to define the meaning of their work, from outside the text. And it never has been (which why I, very rarely, post about cast interpretations). 

It’s up to us. That’s why Becky was the hero to Chuck’s villain.  

A text only fully comes into being because it has meaning for its audience(s).

And, gods love Misha (and the PR folks breathing down his neck) but whether his Empty-suckage hits as “Bury Your Gays” or not, isn’t up to him to determine either, it’s up to queer audiences. Who, of course, don’t all speak with one voice, or experience.  

I know it’s painful for LGBTQ+ audiences to know we are (still) treated differently. 

I know it’s painful for LGBTQ+ audiences to receive, another (on-screen) tragic ending. 

I know it’s infuriating to be soothed with, “But there is a happy ending, really. It’s just off screen, for you to imagine.”      

The CW’s “Dare to Defy” is a marketing slogan. It sounds radical, because it’s designed to sound radical, for a youthful audience which believes in LGBTQ+ rights and diversity (for the most part). But, if there’s one thing television, as a medium, very, very, rarely is, it’s actually radical (particularly advertising-funded television). 

Allowing the Dean/ Cas love story to fully emerge (blinking into the light) from the subtext of a show steeped in On-the-Road, American, rebel-hero masculine mythology, free of Chuck, free of the Empty, undeniably queer to the GA (general audience) would have been actually radical. 

Which is why I never expected it.

15x20 is an attempt at hetero-normative foreclosure, with a side helping of tragic hero. 

Perhaps the most useful reading of Castiel’s Empty-suckage, given that S15 has been all about who controls the narrative, is a metanarrative one. 

Yes, it fits the, “Bury Your Gays” trope, but it’s also a metanarrative comment on the “Bury Your Gays”, trope. 

Those on the creative team who fought for it, like Berens, who wrote the 15x18 speech at the start of the season, knew that the cost of Castiel speaking his queer truth would, likely, be Empty-suckage. They knew the speech would be both moving and meaningful for many in SPN’s queer and ally audience, and that its subsequent erasure (note it was NOT promoted as a “coming out” speech in CW PR) would be equally hurtful. 

But in the fall-out, miraculously intensified by the existence of Universe 1 and Universe 2; a universe in which Dean is not allowed to reciprocate openly, and one in which he does, SPN’s queer subtext has achieved escape velocity into public discourse, inviting a broader audience to view the text “queerly”.

If you can stomach it, behold the PR fuckery, be kind to cast and crew online, tell your truth, and hold onto what you love about the story.  

Because, there is something radical inside Supernatural, roiling and coiling beneath, emerging from within a much more conventional narrative, finished off with a tasteless corporate bow; Castiel, queer angel of the Lord, who rebelled to remake Heaven and earth, inspired by the power of M/ M romantic love. And Dean Winchester, rebel, road-trip, suffering masculine romantic hero, who loved that celestial dork, truly, madly, deeply. 

This imperfect, often misogynist, gothic, masculinist road-trip melodrama, dared to dream of becoming an Epic of Gilgamesh for our times. 

PR BS be damned.  

[cordeliagreengrass]

I Woke In Tears With You By My Side

Date: January 1st, 1979 Location: Mcmillian/Greengrass Manor Home Tagging: Self-Para Triggers: Death, Miscarriage

The tapping on her window got Cordelia's attention, and she lifted her head, pulling herself from the world she'd been so focused on in her book. The owl at the window was hopping around, a letter attached to it's foot, bearing the seal that Cordelia had been waiting for. The seal could only mean one thing; that the Dark Lord had made a move, and that The Order she'd heard of was going to protect the castle, they were calling in all reinforcements. The time had come. The time for Cordelia to step into the war and fight, this time actually fight and be on the side of good. There was no time for holding back anymore. She had to do what she should have done so many years ago.

Cordelia had only returned back to the country a few weeks before, when she'd heard in passing that the Wizarding War in Europe was ramping up again. The Dark Lord had returned, and the pain in her gut twisted like a knife. She could still remember what he'd taken from her; her husband, her child, her parents, her sister-in-law, her friends, her family...

------

"Miss Cordelia? There is a man here to speak with you? He says that there was an attack in Diagon Alley?"

Cordelia froze as she looked up at Cinder, confusion on her face. Julien had gone to Diagon Alley. What attack had there been? Was he okay? Was he at St. Mungo's?

"Let him in, Cinder."

She carefully put the bookmark into her book and sat it down on the table next to her now empty tea cup. She sat up a little more, fixing her skirt, and watching the doorway. As the man entered, hat in hand and looking down, Cordelia felt her heart sink into her stomach, and she knew.

------

The painful scream wrenched it's way from Cordelia's throat as her hands grabbed the tablecloth, yanking it off the table and throwing the dishes across the room. She'd managed to walk from the library to the dining room, but no further.

"Miss Cordelia!"

Her husband, her Julien, dead in a blast that had ripped the store apart, the store that he'd been in to buy a book, the store that he'd gone into because of her. Cordelia let out another scream of anguish, the china in the cabinets rattling with her screams and her magic, bubbling up from within her as she became more and more unstable. Cinder had gone rushing to hide, or maybe find something to help her mistress. Or perhaps, she'd gone to fetch Cordelia's parents or siblings, Cordelia had no idea and didn't care.

All she could do was scream.

-----

"Cordelia, you have to calm down--"

Another scream ripped through her body, this time from physical pain instead of just emotional pain. Had it been hours? Days? Cordelia didn't know, didn't remember, had no idea what was going on around her. She felt her mother's arms going around her, but Cordelia could only scream again and try to shove her away. She had lost her husband, now she was losing her child to, and there was nothing her mother could do to make it better. She didn't want her mother to be the one there, she didn't want this Death Eater who was working for the Dark Lord and helping him there, she didn't want this person who was helping the man who'd attacked the place her husband was at and killed him to be there.

She just wanted Julien, and she would never feel his arms around her again.

All she could hope, as another scream was strangled from her throat, her entire body withering in pain, was that Julien would take care of their child until she got to be with them again.

-----

"... Azkaban?"

"They were sentenced this morning."

Cordelia had barely gotten out of bed in the past two months, let alone paid much attention to anything else. The war had ended, she knew. She'd seen it as one of the headlines in the paper that Cinder had brought her. Cinder had read it to her, in hopes of it helping her mistress to know that Voldemort was gone now. The Potters had been killed but their baby, the word made her heart pang, their baby had somehow defeated Voldemort. Her brother's words had confused her at first. What did Azkaban have to do with their parents?

And then she remembered, that they'd been Death Eaters, that they'd been helping Voldemort and had been part of the problem, and her only response to her brother's words were a tiny nod, before she looked away again.

"I'll come back tomorrow, we can discuss the estate and business, okay?"

He stood by her bed, watching her and looking even more worried. He seemed so concerned over the estate and the money and the business and what they were to do next. He was thinking of a future for himself and his wife and children, one that he could have. One that she couldn't.

She gave him no answer.

-----

"He's come back, you heard that, eh?"

Cordelia didn't particularly like the man she was speaking to, but he seemed to know a lot about what was going on in the Wizarding World, and if she were to return, and to help this time, she needed as much information as she could. That was how she'd found herself here, in France, hoping to hear some information about what was going on in the Wizarding World that she hadn't heard on her travels around the world.

"Yes. Where do you think it'll happen? He's got to have some sort of plan to finish what he started, yes?"

The man would give her the information, let her know when there was a battle and they needed help. He wouldn't be there, of course. But he knew The Order would be, and he could tell her when and where to go, to help them. They'd accept her in to help, he told her, that they needed all the help they could get to make sure they defeated Voldemort once and for all this time. They'd let her fight. That was all Cordelia needed.

-----

Opening the window, Cordelia motioned for the owl to come in, but it clearly had bigger plans it had to get to. It held out it's leg and as soon as she'd taken the letter, it flew off in an almost mad dash. Cordelia shook her head slightly, but closed the window and moved to open the letter. The letter was the important part of what she needed anyway, not an impatient owl.

'Hogwarts. Go to Hogsmeade. Go to the Hog's Head Inn. He'll guide you where to go.'

The letter felt confusing, and Cordelia wondered why it was sending here there. What was in some inn, and what man would guide her when she got there? Still, there was no time to waste. She had to go, and she had to fight. That monster had taken her husband from her, her child from her, her family from her, and if this was her last chance to fight him and his evil, then she would easily step into the war and do this. She needed to get there with no delay. She needed her cloak and to leave at once.

"Cinder?"

The pop behind her told her that the house-elf had appeared, and Cordelia took the letter, carefully folding it back up and putting it into the pocket of her dress as she spoke. "Get my cloak for me, and my gloves, please," She said, looking out the window for a long moment as she took in the gardens. Was this to be the last time she'd ever see them? When the pop of Cinder reappearing with the items was heard, she turned to face her.

"Cinder... my loyal, sweet house elf," She spoke softly, kneeling in front of her to take the cloak, "I need you to listen to me, okay? I am going into a battle that I may not return from. If I don't return, then my brother will most likely be the one who takes this house. If you so choose, you can go with him and serve him and his children. I know my nieces would need someone like you, as I did. If not... you are free if you so choose."

The house elf looked shocked, confused, and most of all worried for her mistress, and Cordelia knew she must have so many questions, because Cinder had been there with her family, with Cordelia, since she was born. But before Cinder could say anything, could ask any questions or even protest, Cordelia had taken her cloak and gloves, put them on, and apparated out of the house.

-----

She'd had no trouble getting into Hogsmeade, even as she passed a few Death Eaters. They'd seen the pureblood woman and just assumed that she was there to join them, as her parents had. How they were mistaken. Cordelia was not there to help those her parents had joined, not there to help those people who'd let her parents rot and die in Azkaban. She was there to defeat them and make them wish they'd never helped this Dark Lord, that they'd never followed his stupidity of how they were all better than everyone else. They weren't.

She'd found herself at the end of a wand by one of The Order members when she entered the inn.

"In my pocket is a letter," Her words were strained, trying to stay still and not give this man any reason to attack her further, "I am not here to fight for You-Know-Who. I'm here to fight against him." She winced as the wand was pressed closer to her throat, as the man reached into her pocket roughly and grabbed the letter.

"Where did you get this? Why do you want to fight for us?"

The questions were sharp and Cordelia wanted nothing more than to smack him, but she knew he had to ask. "A man in France, who knew about The Order and told me," She spoke then, "And because I lost my husband, my child, and my parents all to that thing. He took everything from me, and now he wants the rest of the Wizarding World? You think I'd let that happen?"

Her answer was bitter and upset, and it seemed to ease the man's worries. He lowered his wand, looked her in the eyes, and then nodded to her. He seemed to realize she was there to help, and looked a little more grateful for it. He pressed the letter back into her hands, and she took a deep breath.

"This way, through the tunnel. We'll get you set up with one of the groups and find you a place to defend and help."

She nodded, chin held high, and followed him.

-----

Then, there was the battle.

Cordelia hadn't realized just how many students there were, just how many people there were, just how many were truly in this fight against Voldemort. Of course, she hadn't realized how many there were in his group either, and it made her almost nervous. Last time she hadn't even really considered joining the war, the fight, because she and Julien had been so focused on other things. Now... she realized the scale of it, and felt that pang of wishing it had all been dealt with sooner.

It had been so long since Cordelia had even attempted to duel, preferring to be with her plants and books instead, and it showed. She fumbled and got burned, cut, singed. Sure, she managed to get some of them back, and knocked some Death Eater off of the bridge, feeling her stomach twist slightly at knowing it was a long fall. But he'd deserved it, she reminded herself, they all deserved it. Working for the Dark Lord meant she had no pity for them any longer, there could be none ever again.

Bleeding and in pain, Cordelia had stumbled and found herself backed against a wall, with someone approaching her, someone she realized was someone she had known once. Her former sister-in-law. Georgiana Macmillian. The look on the other woman's face was one that sent chills down her spine, and Cordelia realized that she didn't recognized her anymore, not as she'd once known her, not as the girl she'd once been. She hadn't seen the girl since... well, since her and Julien's wedding.

Cordelia had gone to call out to her former sister-in-law, but stopped short when she saw the younger girl raising her wand. There was no reasoning with her, Cordelia realized, and why would she? The woman was clearly a Death Eater, clearly among the ranks of those fighting for evil. There was no sympathy in Cordelia's heart for her anymore. There was nothing else she could do, but the right thing. Put the girl out of the misery she was surely putting herself into, and do this last good thing for her family.

She raised her wand arm, shaking just slightly as she came to terms with what she was about to do, and muttered out the killing curse; just as the other woman spoke one too, causing a large flash of green and--

---------------------------------------------------

Cordelia sat straight up in bed, gasping and choking on air. Her hair had fallen into her face and one hand was grasping at her chest as she tried to breath. Grasping at... lace on a nightgown?

It took her a moment to fully focus and she reached up to push her hair out of her face, glancing around and taking in where she was. Sitting in bed; it was her old bed even, the one that she'd slept in before she and Julien had finally fallen in love. It was in a different wing of the manor, the opposite wing from where Julien's room was. When they were just engaged, before they'd been married, before they'd decided his room was the one they both wanted to stay in. How was she back in this room?

The room confused her, but also looked exactly as she remembered it from so long ago. That bedspread had been one her sister had gifted her, the desk was one that her father had made her, the dresser one that was a present from her brother-in-law. Slowly looking around, Cordelia took it all in again, wondering if this was the afterlife. If it was, surely she was in hell, because why would it be a time without Julien? The thought made her want to cry.

Pushing the covers back, Cordelia swung her feet and placed them on the floor, surprised a little to see her old slippers there on the floor too. It was a twist in her gut, seeing items so familiar, but so faded at the same time. She carefully stepped from the bed to where one of her robes laid on a chair nearby, and pulled it on, feeling a sudden chill. She had just begun to wrap it tighter around her, when she heard a pop behind her.

"Miss Cordelia? Miss Cordelia is up early. Master Julien has not woken yet. Would Miss Cordelia like her coffee and breakfast in her room, or the library?"

Cordelia turned and looked at Cinder as if the house elf had turned blue or something, eyes wide and confused at that. Surely Cinder hadn't died as well, or... perhaps whatever this was, she was seeing her house elf, remembering her so she wouldn't be here completely alone? Yet, why this time? It still didn't make any sense to her, especially not after the last thing she remembered was the battle, and the killing curse.

"... Miss Cordelia?"

She startled out of her thinking as Cinder spoke again, and took a shaky breath, holding onto the robe tightly. "Cinder..." She spoke then, "I... do you remember...?"

"... Remember, Miss Cordelia? What should Cinder remember?"

The house elf sounded even more confused than Cordelia was, and she quickly shook her head. Why had she expected the house elf to remember, she wondered, especially if she was dead and the house elf was not? "Nothing. I... The paper," Cordelia paused, wondering suddenly if the paper came in this place, or if perhaps there was another way to find out what this was, and where she was.

"The paper? Cinder can fetch the paper for Miss Cordelia!"

The house elf disapperated faster than Cordelia could say anything else, and she blinked, moving to look out the window then, as she waited on her to return. The gardens looked different than the last time she'd seen them, she thought, they were so much brighter now, beautiful and upkept so much better. That was something this afterlife had gotten right at least, she thought.

The pop of Cinder returning broke her from her thoughts, and she turned to take the paper as the house elf held it out for her. Luckily for her the house elf was there and reacted quick enough with her magic to scoot a chair forward for her mistress to collapse into, because as Cordelia read the date on the newspaper, her knees buckled and she went back down into the chair.

January 1st, 1979.

Cordelia felt as if a bucket of ice water had been thrown over her, and for a moment she stared at the paper, confusion clear, and then she looked up at Cinder. "January first?" She asked her house elf, as if wondering if this was a joke, as if maybe Cinder would say it was always this date now, or have some sort of explanation for what she was seeing. "It's 1979?" She added then, feeling even more confused.

"Yes, Miss Cordelia?"

The house elf sounded just as confused as Cordelia was, although that was because she was confused about why her mistress would be asking such a thing. Like Cordelia should know it was January 1st of 1979, as if she should know that was of course the date, the progression of time as if it were normal, as if...

As if she were truly back in 1979.

Cordelia dropped the paper without a thought, not even noticing as Cinder scrambled to catch it for her. Her only thought was on a mirror, quickly moving across the room to where the mirror her siblings had bought her was hanging-- and there she froze in place, hands falling to her sides.

She was twenty-two again. She was young again, no lines, no scars, no marks anywhere. Gone was the long scar across her face that she'd gotten at thirty when she was traveling and had encountered a plant that hadn't been properly taken care of, that had lashed out at her. Gone was the scar on her neck from the man who'd tried to rob her at knifepoint when she was twenty-seven. Her skin was as flawless as it had been all those years ago.

Gasping softly, Cordelia reached up to touch her face, feeling the smooth, young skin. It was true, she realized, it had to be true. She was here, back in 1979, back before she had lost anything, back before she got older, back before she and Julien--

Julien.

Her eyes widened and she let out a choked sob, hand over her mouth and tears welling. If she were back in 1979, remembering all of this... what about her husband? Was he alive again? Did he perhaps remember too? Would he be there, happy to see her and remembering? Or would she have to make him fall in love with her again? All she knew was that she could only pray that he would be there, because at least if he was there... she could have him back.

Sobbing softly and ignoring the way that Cinder was looking at her with worry, Cordelia wrapped her robe around her tighter, forgetting her slippers altogether and heading towards the door. The stone flooring was cold under her feet, but she didn't even notice it. What started as a walk out of her wing of the home and towards the wing of her fiancé's room turned into a run, the girl sobbing and desperate to get to Julien again.

[synchronick-archived]

self-para - “therapy session” | likes & comments welcome, but please don’t respond IC timeline: 20 years old trigger warnings: physical and emotional abuse, kidnapping, rape

          “Just start from the beginning, and take as much time as you need. This is a safe space.” The therapist spoke in a calm, level voice. She stared at TAOJIN across from the coffee table of her office, poised and ready to listen.

          TAOJIN hesitated, not really sure where to start. Finally, he took a deep breath and just... began.

          “It was at one of those group meetings. Um, like the emergency therapy groups. The ones you don’t have to sign up ahead of time, you just show up, you know? Anyway, it was after one of those that we first met. He said he was there to support his sister who was part of the group. But... she never came over to find him. I didn’t learn until later that he didn’t even have a sister.

          “I think that’s what he would do. Like -- hang around places like that because he knew how vulnerable people there are. It was like -- well, like he was looking for someone like me, I guess. But he seemed really kind, and genuine. We started talking a lot and went out on some dates, and it was really nice and comfortable, I guess.

          “I was still living with my mom and dad at the time, ‘cos I’d just gotten out of the last of my treatment after the accident, right, and it was really hard. I wanted to get out, and... well, he offered to let me move in with him. I felt bad at first because I knew I couldn’t pay rent, and I wouldn’t really be contributing anything, but he kept insisting so... I did.”

         There was a pause, another hesitation as TAOJIN tried to decide if he really was ready to say what he was about to. This all felt so.. fresh. He still had some of the bruises on his ribs.

          “I don’t remember how things started getting scary. One day they just... were. I mean, I’m sure it had to have started with little things, right? That’s how it always starts in movies. But I don’t remember any of that. I just knew that all of a sudden everything was happening.

          “We started getting into a lot of fights, and he would get so angry that he’d hit me. I knew I shouldn’t be making him so upset. Like -- my job as his boyfriend is to make him happy, especially after everything he’s doing for me. So a lot of the time, it was almost like -- like I felt like I deserved it, I guess. If I wasn’t such a problem, then it wouldn’t he happening, you know?

          “I remember he kept thinking I was cheating, no matter what I said or did to prove otherwise. Um.. then I remember the lock on the apartment door. He installed it, like a deadbolt that needed a key to open on both sides. He said it was so he would feel better, like he knew I was safe and at home while he was out. I didn’t... I didn’t fight it.

          “So for a long time, I was only allowed to go out when I was with him. Most days I would spend all day inside just waiting for him to get home. I remember I would dread it. He would come home, and a lot of the time he was in a bad mood from work or something, and he would yell or hit me, or do whatever he wanted. Um.. he would touch me, and do things that I didn’t really like. One time I told him to stop, and we fought really bad that day, and it ended up happening anyway. I found if I pretended I was having a good time it would make it end faster, so that’s what I usually did.” He cleared his throat, looking uncomfortable, before continuing on.

          “Um.. so, I was only allowed to talk to my family every once in a while. It was on his phone, and he’d always have it on speaker so he could hear what we were talking about. I guess my mom started getting worried or something, I dunno, because one day while he was at work my brother came to the apartment. He ended up breaking the lock on the door with some sort of tool, I guess, and he made me leave with him.

          “I never saw my boyfriend again after that. I think he came to my brother’s apartment a couple times, but I was always told to stay in my room. From what I heard, my brother kicked his ass pretty good. I dunno.. I miss him sometimes, though. It was nice to know that someone wanted me.”

          Silence hung in the air as TAOJIN finished his story. He looked over at the therapist, a sense of both closure and agitation overcoming him. He didn’t know what to say next.

[javier-djarin]

Como Me Duele: Chapter 2

Ship: Javi x Reader

Rating: M

Word Count: 3,385 words

Warnings: Language, Sexual Innuendos, fluff, Dad!Steve (sorta)

Masterlist

Summary: You’ve started getting comfortable in Colombia. Connie and Steve decide to take you out on the town to meet up with some of your new coworkers. Javier can’t help but tag along once he sees you dressed to kill.

A/N: Ahh! I got such an amazing outpour of love and support for chapter 1. Thank you to everyone that has read it! I love you all! Here’s chapter 2!! So, please let me know what you think. Please let me know if you want to be on my taglist! Also, translations are at the bottom.

Your POV

You’d been living comfortably in your apartment for a week now and weren’t scheduled to start working at the hospital until the end of the month. However, thanks to Connie, you had gotten to know several of the staff members that worked there because you had gone out with them last Friday. Connie had invited you to go out with her and some colleagues tonight. They decided to go dancing down at a club in the middle of the city. You were a little nervous to go out dancing with people you hardly knew, but she reassured you that she and Steve would both be there if you needed anything. 

You spent hours trying to find something to wear, when you had reached back into the far corner of your closet and found the ONE dancing dress you owned. It was a tight, body-con red dress with a deep V-neck you had worn only once before. Michael didn’t take you dancing very often; it wasn’t really his scene, but you loved it. As a birthday gift a few years ago, he broke down and took you dancing. He even bought this dress for you. You felt your heart crack a little as you looked at it on the hanger. It was all you had to wear though. You set it on your bed and went into the bathroom to do your hair and make-up. You popped your contacts in and began the long process of getting ready.

Connie and Steve were supposed to arrive at your place in about fifteen minutes. You put the final touch - hairspray - on your loose curls that flowed down your back and shoulders. You smiled at yourself in the mirror. This was the first time you felt beautiful in a long time. You knew it was small, but you felt like this was your actual first step you were taking to move on. There was a knock on your door. You hurried out of your bathroom, grabbing your small clutch. You fixed your hair and dress one final time before opening the door. Connie and Steve were standing there, astonished. “Y/N, you look great!” Connie exclaimed. She was wearing her own dress, but not quite as tight and low cut as yours.

You felt the sudden urge to cover yourself as Steve’s eyes grew wide. “I guess this is a giant ‘fuck you’ to Michael,” he laughed.

You tried to smile at him. “This is the dress he bought me for my birthday a few years ago.”

Connie wrapped her arm through yours. “Perfect. We’ll find you someone that will happily defile that dress for him.”

You laughed this time and felt more confident than ever. Steve led the way down the stairs as you locked the door behind you. “Murphy,” you heard a familiar baritone voice just down the stairwell say, “you clean up nice for a fucking hillbilly.”

“Fuck you, Peña.”

Your heart raced a little, but you couldn’t explain why. You did your best to hide it and held your head high as you walked with Connie down the stairs.

“Where are you headed?”

“I’m taking the girls out to meet some friends.”

“You don’t have any friends,” Peña laughed.

“Again. Fuck you, Peña.”

He continued to laugh, but stopped when he saw you descending the stairs. You weren’t sure if he was aware that his mouth fell open when he looked at you, but he was definitely aware of the blush on your cheeks. He smiled as soon as you tried to look away from him. “Alguien está vestida para matar,” he said, still looking at you, clearly trying to imagine what that dress would look like on his floor. Any time you heard him speak in Spanish, you wanted to melt into the floor, especially when he rolled his r’s. 

“Tú, si no tienes cuidado,” you said quickly.

Impressed, he nodded his head towards you. “I guess I need to watch what I say in both languages.”

You glanced over at him through your long eyelashes and gave him the same devilish grin he gave you the first time you met. You tried to maintain your cool composure, but his black button down shirt clung to his broad chest and stretched over his arms, making your knees even weaker. You didn’t see Connie and Steve share a look as they tried to stifle a laugh. They both knew that Javier was going to have his hands full if he made any moves on you. He tore his eyes away from yours and cleared his throat. “Well, since you’re meeting with friends, I better come along.”

“Peña, don’t I get enough of you at the office?” Steve prodded.

Javier tossed his arm around Steve. “Oh, come on, partner. We’re friends.”

Connie and you covered your mouths to mask your smiles and quiet laughs. Javier shot a glance over at you, raking his eyes up and down your body. You wanted to feel self-conscious, but you’d never felt so desired before. Michael hadn’t looked at you like that in a long time, so it was refreshing to know you still had - better yet, you never lost it. You wrapped your arm through Connie’s as you both followed Steve out of the building. Javier, stumbling, was walking behind you. Instinctively, and just to torture him, you moved your hips just a tad more seductively. You glanced over your shoulder at him, catching him stopping on the top step to watch you walk away. “¡Muévete, Peña!” you shouted, startling him out of the trance your hips put him in. 

Connie laughed again and leaned closer to your ear. “I know I said to ignore him, but this is so much more entertaining,” she whispered.

“He’s not even trying to be subtle,” you laughed, looking back at him.

“Hey, now, ladies. Secrets don’t make friends,” he replied as he jogged down the stairs.

“They do when they’re about someone else,” you grinned.

He raised his eyebrow in curiosity. You guys made it the stoop of your building as you waited for Steve to pull his car around. “Care to share?” he asked.

You shook your head. “No.”

Javier looked to Connie for help, but she just laughed. Steve pulled the car around and hopped out. Javier beat you to the door and held it open for you. “So, you’re a gentleman too?” you chided. 

“Tengo más sorpresas si me dejas enseñarte,” he whispered to you as you slid past him. His breath tickled the back of your neck, sending chills up and down your spine. 

“No espere mucho,” you said back, once he took the seat next to you.

You saw Steve shake his head and look at Connie, rolling his eyes. She gave him a look back that you guessed only meant, “At least she’s having fun. Just let it be.”

You tried to find the best way to sit in such a tight dress. The hem slid up your legs just a tad, but enough that you knew it would drive Javier wild. You crossed your legs, revealing more of your thigh as you pretended to look out the window - using your peripheral vision to watch Javier salivate all over himself.

His POV

He threw his arm over the back of the seat and rested the other on the door, looking at her poised so perfectly in the back seat with him. He knew she was doing everything on purpose, because he wasn’t good at hiding his emotions around a very beautiful woman. Honestly, they were his kryptonite. One glance his way, and Y/N had him. He vaguely remembered his promise to Steve, but if she was playing along with this little game, he couldn’t not give her what she wanted. After all, she would tell him to leave her alone, if she wasn’t interested. He picked up on that just by her fiery personality. Javi glanced up at Steve for a millisecond, and he could see him watching him in the rearview mirror. Peña flipped him off subtly and continued to watch her. Steve and Connie were lost in their own conversation, so Javi turned to her to start his own. He lightly cleared his throat to get her attention. She slowly, gracefully turned to look at him - her curls moving across her bare shoulder and bouncing next to her arm. “Cat got your tongue?” she asks with a smile that just about killed him on the spot.

“Nope,” he grinned, shooting another glance at Steve, who was still occasionally looking back at them. “Mia hermosa.”

She rolled her eyes at the cheesy nickname he coined for her. She turned to look back out the window. “Where are you from?” he asked, leaning closer to her. 

She changed positions, crossing her other leg to face Javi. His eyes couldn’t help but drop to the deep V in her dress. “Los ojos arriba,” she said, glaring at him. 

Javi moved his other hand to the middle seat, closer to her thigh. “You didn’t answer the question,” he grinned.

“Texas,” she replied.

He smirked. “Yo soy de Texas tambien.” His hand on the seat moved a little to play with one of her curls.

“What part?” she asked.

“Laredo.”

“Ah, El Paso.” She gestures to herself. 

His grin widens a little as he moves his hand closer to her.

“Peña!” Steve exclaims from the front seat.

Y/N covers her mouth and laughs, as Javier moves back a little from her. “Sorry, Dad.”

“She doesn’t want you groping her,” Steve says through his teeth.

Connie slapped her husband’s shoulder. “Steve!”

“What! Do you want him back there harassing your best friend?”

“She’s a big girl,” he says, turning his attention back to Y/N, “Me dirá si no quiere la toque.”

He saw her try not to swoon over his Spanish. “He’s harmless, Steve,” she said, looking Javier in the eyes. “I was about to slap him away if you didn’t.”

Javier thought he saw her wink at him, but it was so fast he thought he imagined it 

***

Steve parked the car just outside of the club. Javier jumped out fast to get the door for her. Her small, soft hand fit perfectly into his as she held on to him to stand up. “Gracias, hermoso,” She said in a sarcastic, seductive tone.

He placed his hand in the small of her back as they followed Steve and Connie to the door. “Don’t get ahead of yourself there, cowboy,” she whispered.

He grinned. Once inside, Connie grabbed her hand and pulled her over to the table where several doctors and nurses were waiting for them. Javier stood next to Steve and sighed. He watched her sit next to an attractive young doctor, who had his arm draped over the back of the booth just above her. “Who’s that guy?” Javier asked.

“Some doctor Connie works with.”

“Oh, so it’s fine if Connie’s colleagues hit on her, but if I do, the world ends.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “That’s exactly what will happen.”

“Then what is it?” Peña pleaded.

His partner led him to the bar, where they sat down away from the group. “You remind Connie and I of her ex,” he sighed, “and if you remind us of him, you’re definitely a reminder for her.”

Peña grabbed the glass of whisky the bartender dropped off. “Well, I’m not her ex. I’m not a piece of shit that will cheat on her.”

Steve choked on his drink. “You’re kidding, right?” Peña looked at him, offended, “Look, you can hardly keep the same woman in your bed for more than two weeks, and aren’t you a regular down at the brothel?”

He knew Steve was right, and he hardly knew her enough to say he’d give all of that up. For all he knew, he just wanted her to be another notch on his bedpost.  He turned in his chair and leaned his back against the bar. “But look at her.” He saw her glancing over at him with a smile, and his heart stopped. “I think you need to let her make that decision.”

“Peña,” he said, “Connie already warned her about you. She loves you, but she doesn’t think you’re right for her best friend.”

“I think Y/N disagrees, because here she comes,” he grinned, finishing his drink and setting it on the bar.

“Secrets don’t make friends,” she said to him.

“They do when they’re about someone else,” he replied, giving her a taste of her own medicine.

She laughed, and he felt his heart start again. It was the most angelic sound he’d ever heard. “There’s plenty of room for both of you at the table,” she said.

The young doctor came up from behind her and placed a hand on her back. Javi tensed up and clenched his jaw, instantly jealous of this doctor. “¿Quieres bailar conmigo?” he said in her ear.

She grinned and turned to face him. “Sí. Uno momento, por favor.”

She turned back to Javi. “Lo siento. Anyway, Connie told me to tell you both to stop being fuddy duddies and come to the table.”

Steve sighed and resigned to doing his wife’s wishes. Javi held back for a moment. “¿Quien es ese cabrón?”

Y/N blushed and looked over to her dance partner. “Dr. Rodriguez. He’s new to the hospital too. Kinda cute, don’t you think?” She nudged Javi in the side.

Javi let out a disgruntled growl. “Yeah, if you’re into the lost puppy look.”

“Oh, you mean like the look you’re always giving me?” She walked away with the same gait she had at the apartment complex. 

He was only pulled out of his trance when he heard Steve yell for him from across the bar. “Peña, get your ass over here!”

He rolled his eyes and joined them, taking Dr. Rodriguez’s seat next to a cute, young nurse. On any normal night, he would be making his moves on the nurse, but not with Y/N distracting him. He looked out at the dance floor and saw the cabrón holding her closer than he would have liked. She spun around so she was facing him, but continued dancing with the doctor. Rodriguez wrapped his arm around her, pulling her in closer as his hand rested on her lower abdomen. Javi’s hand balled into a fist. He turned to the nurse next to him and smiled. “¿Quieres bailar conmigo?” he whispered delicately in her ear.

She smiled at him and involuntarily licked her bottom lip. She daintily held her hand out for him to take and lead her to the dance floor. More people flooded the dance floor, including Steve and Connie. He grabbed the nurse, holding her close to him so he could look over her shoulder at Y/N.

Your POV

You watched Javi dance and move against Lolita, the nurse, and you felt your face turn red. You haven't dated in a while, but you knew this feeling. You were jealous, and you knew just how to get him back. You placed Rodriguez’s hands on your hips, letting him pull you closer as you moved to his rhythm. Despite you doing this to annoy Javi, this felt good. You hadn’t been touched by a man in months. You were so touch starved that you were borderline desperate. 

His POV

Javi felt his face flush, so he buried his face in the nurse’s hair and let his hands travel down her body. Lolita pulled away and rested her forehead on his as she smiled. He tried looking around her so he could still watch Y/N. He felt like shit using this poor woman to get to her, but she had left him no other choice. He saw her reach up a hand behind her and place it on Rodriguez’s face as she laid her head back on his chest. Rodriguez then buried his face in the base of her neck. At that point, Javi had enough. “Lo siento. No puedo hacer esto.” He dropped his hands from the nurse and started to approach Y/N and Rodriguez.

Your POV

You had closed your eyes as soon as Rodriguez started kissing your neck. Thank god for the loud music, because you were pretty sure you let out a small moan. You were on cloud nine when you suddenly heard a loud baritone voice boom over you, “¡Oye, cabrón! Ella esta conmigo.” You opened your eyes and saw a very flushed Javi standing in front of you.

“Javi!” you exclaimed, it’s the first time you had called him by a nickname.

“Dance with me,” he demanded.

You turned to Dr. Rodriguez who was looking very confused at the two of you. “¿Estás con él?” he asked.

“Vine con él pero no estoy con él.”

“Ella esta conmigo,” Javi growled.

His growl turned something in you, and you leapt out of Rodriguez’s arms into Javi’s without a second thought. Rodriguez held his hands up in defeat and dutifully bowed out of the dance. “What the fuck!” You exclaimed.

“Javi…?” he grinned at the use of a nickname.

“What? Connie calls you that.”

He wrapped an arm around you and pulled you close. “If anyone gets to dance with you like that, it’s me.”

“That’s if I want to dance with you,” you replied, throwing your arms around his neck, playing with the small curls at the base of his skull.

“Then walk away.” His breath on your skin sent more chills down your spine. 

“I also don’t like being told what to do.” You felt his hands rest on your hips. “Just because I let you dance with me, doesn’t mean I’m going to let you take me home.”

He laughed. You could listen to him laugh forever. “Are you going to dance with me, or just stand there trying to see down my dress?”

“I can do both at the same time if you’d like,” he grinned.

“I knew you’d be trouble when I first met you.”

“Por siempre y para siempre, hermosa.”

***

It was at least three in the morning when everyone stumbled back to the apartment. Connie had had too much to drink, and so Steve was carrying her up to their apartment leaving you and Javi alone in the stairwell. “So…?” he started, raising an eyebrow at you suggestively. 

You put a hand on his chest, preventing him from joining you on the same step. “Hold on there, cowboy. I may be drunk, but not too drunk to remember telling you that you’re not taking me home tonight.”

He grinned. “Tonight? So you’re saying there’s a chance later.”

You leaned down and kissed his cheek. “Thanks for a fun night, Javi. I haven’t had this much fun since…” You paused.

You wanted to explain, but you felt like he already knew. He rubbed your arm to console you and nodded. “Any time, Y/N. That’s what friends are for.”

Smiling, you replied, “So we’re friends now? Five seconds ago, I do believe you were trying to look down my dress again.”

Javi blushed. “We’re friends, until you decide to change that.” He returned the kiss on your cheek and walked into his apartment.

You felt butterflies in your stomach as you watched him close his door for the night. This was not how you were expecting this interaction to end, but you couldn’t feel happier. Javi made you feel sexy, wanted, and since Michael cheated on you, you never felt like you were enough. You craved to have Javi look at you, like he did when he first saw you walk down the stairs. He made you feel like a beautiful woman again who deserved every bit of attention he was giving her. However, your wounds were still too fresh. You weren’t ready for anything like that. On top of that, Javi reminded you too much of the early days when you and Michael were together. A few times, while you were dancing, that’s who you pictured was holding you. But Michael had stopped being that man long before he cheated. Men like him were always the same. Restless. Unfaithful. Just looking for another notch on their bedpost. 

Translations

Hermoso/Hermosa - Handsome/Beautiful

Alguien está vestida para matar. - Someone is dressed to kill.

Tú, si no tienes cuidado. - You, if you’re not careful.

¡Muévete! - Look alive! or Hurry up!

Tengo más sorpresas si me dejas enseñarte. - I have more surprises if you’ll let me show you.

No espere mucho. - Literally: Don’t wait long. It’s another way to say “Don’t hold your breath.”

Los ojos arriba. - Eyes up here.

Yo soy de Texas tambien. - I’m from Texas too.

Me dirá si no quiere la toque. - She’ll tell me if she doesn’t want me to touch her.

¿Quieres bailar conmigo? - Do you want to dance with me?

Sí. Uno momento, por favor. - Yes, just one minute, please.

Lo siento. - I’m sorry.

¿Quien es ese cabrón? - Who is that asshole?

 No puedo hacer esto. - I can’t do this.

¡Oye, cabrón! Ella esta conmigo. - Hey, asshole! She’s with me.

¿Estás con él? - Are you with him?

Vine con él pero no estoy con él. - I came with him, but I’m not with him.

Por siempre y para siempre, hermosa. - Forever and for always, beautiful.

Taglist

@magneticbucky

@larakasser

[ofaspiderboy]

𝐓ags

▌⁺˚*🕷   𝐘eah business as usual . i'm just a misunderstood guy with a good heart .    ∕  disposition .

▌⁺˚*🕸️  𝐄esh ! & i thought i was obnoxious  !   ∕  dialogue .

▌⁺˚*🕷  𝐁e right back . gotta hit the little peter room .    ∕  study .

▌⁺˚*🕸️  𝐁ein' a super-hero's no bed of roses  ...  ∕  tongue .

▌⁺˚*🕷   𝐈 need a place to change ! a phone booth ? nah! even i'm not that corny !    ∕  fad .

▌⁺˚*🕸️  𝐇ey. you uh. i heard word on the uh street is you're making a documentary ? on me ?  ∕  headcanon .

▌⁺˚*🕷  𝐈t's funny how life turns out sometimes... isn't it ?   ∕  ic answer .

▌⁺˚*🕸️   𝐒omething's wrong . my human sense is tingling .    ∕  self-para .

▌⁺˚*🕷  𝐇ave no fear spidey's here  !   ∕  event .

▌⁺˚*🕸️  𝐑ight now i'd trade the whole Spider-Man bit for a rocking chair & a subscription to reader's digest .    ∕   task .

▌⁺˚*🕷  𝐖ith great power there must also come great responsibility .   ∕  spider-man .

▌⁺˚*🕸️  𝐒pider jams .    ∕   playlist .

▌⁺˚*🕷  𝐃on’t swing & text kids  !   ∕  phone stuff .

▌⁺˚*༓ 𝐓ruth be told  ...  i don't know how aunt may put up with me  .   ―   May Parker .

▌⁺˚*༓ 𝐈'm nothing like the torch  !  i'm prettier  !   ―   Johnny Storm .

▌⁺˚*༓ 𝐐uiet as a cat - sneaky as a spider  .   ―   Felicia Hardy . 

▌⁺˚*༓ 𝐓he great thing about mj is  ...   ―   Mary Jane Watson .

▌⁺˚*༓ 𝐍o spider-man isn't a party trick ! i'm just gonna be myself  .   ―   Ned Leeds .

▌⁺˚*༓ 𝐁ut we’ve made it this far mr stark  .   ―   Tony Stark .

▌⁺˚*༓ 𝐈t’s all a bit tragic really but oh so worth it  .   ―   Harry Osborn .

▌⁺˚*༓ 𝐃ude this is going to be awesome - remember baby powder ...   ―   Miles Morales .

▌⁺˚*༓ 𝐃o i have to lose you too  ?   ―   Gwen Stacy .

[drewsleung]

self para;

summary: drew remembers his first true love and contemplates the near future.

notes: for optimal atmosphere, pls listen to dreaming of you by the queen herself, selena. 

the sun would keep shining down on the golden star necklace permanently placed around celia chen's neck. it was drew's first and only gift and she treasured it like crazy. said that it made her feel so young even though she was. eighteen when she got it (and him!), nineteen when they knew they wanted each other for good, and twenty when they knew they were in it for the long haul (and teddy!)

life was good.

sure, celia had to stay home a lot and so drew found himself going to classes by himself and studying with few friends and being invited out by fewer friends ( ‘because he's busy now, with a kid, didn't you hear? him and celia. yeah, them! kid's cute i hear, but it's a darn shame..’ ) but that's alright. they manage.

sometimes, celia would bring up the m-word. drew knew what his answer would be, so did she. she just never wanted him to say it out loud because amidst the bills and the laundry and the chores and the baby's crying, oh god -- who has the time to get all lushed up in a dress and get hitched?

but when drew trudges back to his parents' house, celia's necklace heavy in his pocket after claiming it from the police officers that responded to the scene, he realizes he should've pushed it. tried harder. but he didn't. he carries the words of their last conversation together in his heart, in his head. ‘i’ll be back tonight, okay? you and teddy behave.’ ‘of course we’ll behave. we’re good boys, right buddy?’

when he trudges into his dorm at blackthorne, tired from another day of kicking other people's asses to keep them from kicking his. he realizes he should've kept at college. tried harder. but he didn't. he didn’t want to be in the same rooms that he and celia had often met up at. the study carrel they often tried to study together in. this one hallway where drew tried to be smooth by carrying around a bouquet and stood to wait for her, only for celia to actually be in the other hallway and drew had to call her after classes were done for the day to know where she was. ‘you’re such a goof! you could’ve given them to me at home, you know?’ ‘yeah, but i wanted to be a sweet boyfriend-slash-baby-daddy. and you love flowers.’ ‘yeah, i do. and you.’

midnight, after washing his face in the bathroom, he plopped down on the bed. the silhouettes of his roommates sleeping give him a specific kind of comfort; a feeling of family, warmth, safety. safety. which he thought gallagher had been the best in when he first stepped inside its walls and took in its breadth. 

safe became questionable after those bodies were found. and drew thought he’d feel so conflicted about whether he wanted to stay, but he thought of the people he’d met and made bonds with and he didn’t know if wishing for his past would help at all.

but it doesn’t stop him from doing it at all. from thinking how at home celia would feel like in gallagher’s computer labs, or how she would be in awe at the gallagher chefs’ ability to make almost anything you would ask them for, recipe or not. or they could play that library game they enjoyed when they first met ( also known as how one andrew leung entertained one celia chen enough for her to give him her number ): peeking through the shelves to make funny faces at her until she laughs. 

or if gallagher ( or blackthorne ) wasn’t a part of his life if celia was here, they’d be back home in san francisco. bringing teddy to all the places the child would like to go to. museums, arcades, adventure theme parks, and even the zoo if the little kid would say so. he’ll be the type to teach him all the things he liked: basketball, a little hip-hop dancing. sure it was a sneaky way to see if teddy had the same uncanny ability he had to learn things quickly, but it was just another way he had wanted them to bond.

drew grabbed his poem notebook from his nightstand and opened the back where a small cutout space housed celia’s necklace. staring at it for a second, he finally plucked it out to hold it close for the night. he tilted his head to the side to stare up at the ceiling. he’s heard of the berlin internship and while it sounds amazing and exciting, he wanted to go home. a sentiment he was sure he shared with the georgetown kids, for sure. a sigh, already accepting the decision he made whole-heartedly. he missed teddy too much to even think about going anywhere else for the summer, so he’s gonna go home.

“just one more month and then some..” he muttered to himself, before finally drifting back to sleep, the necklace clutched in his hand and resting on his chest.

[tcthestarss]

no goodbyes ;; hero astaire self-para

WHERE: Icaria, Greece; The Carnival

WHEN: Sometime during the Minotaur attack

TIME: Early evening

WARNINGS: Violence, Miscarriage, Angst, Long post

CHARACTER FEATURES: Hero Astaire

CHARACTER MENTIONS: Eduardo Lopez, Amelia Lopez (NPC), Raye Torres, Calliope (NPC)

PROMPT: After feeling better, Hero Astaire heads to the carnival after all to surprise Eduardo and Amelia. However, she ended up being surprised along with everyone else when the Minotaur appeared. And like everyone else, she ends up losing someone special to her, too.

It had been a rough week. First off, her pregnancy. She’d been sick on and off throughout the entire week, making it rather difficult to enjoy the festivities along with everyone else. Second off, her parents weren’t able to come. Her dad had started shooting a new film and her mom had a new important case she needed to work on and Calliope? Well, the young girl highly doubted that the muse was going to appear. It was negative, she knows. And perhaps a small part of her was hopeful that her biological mother would appear, maybe apologize and try to make up for lost time. Perhaps tell her who her biological father is. But, that doesn’t seem to be the case.

However, she tried to have fun still. She tried to join in the activities with her boyfriend and their daughter, she tried to meet her friends’s parents, and she tried to push aside feeling upset over her parents not being there. It was meant to be a fun week, and she intended on having fun.

But her son was making that nearly impossible to achieve. Despite being in her fourth month and her second trimester, the little guy seemed to have the intention of making her sick the past week. Of course, she wasn’t putting the blame on him; But she did wish that she was able to have more fun. So when it came to the night of the carnival, she was sad that she’d been not feeling well all day and elected to stay home. Edu, of course, had said that they could stay home as well, but she admittedly refused. No way was she going to allow him and Amelia miss out on the carnival. That wasn’t fair. She wanted them to have fun still and asked them to bring back a funnel cake.

About an hour or two after they left, though, Hero actually started to feel a bit better. While it’d been a rather rash decision, she decided to head to the carnival after all and surprise her little family. It was parent week, after all, and she wanted Lia to get to experience that with the both of them. Making her way to the location, she’d been roaming around when she suddenly heard him. Only... it wasn’t Edu, she heard.

But it was the Minotaur.

Of course, she knew that the monsters from the legends were true. After all, if the gods and demigods existed, it made perfect sense. But... Gods, did it have to be him?! Everyone was in a panic and Hero was no different. Subconsciously, though, she remembered the heroes from their legends. She thought of them, thought of their bravery and courage. How their deeds inspired the likes of Homer, causing the poet to sing their praises and dedicate them to her mother. Feeling a hand on her shoulder, she turned around and faced an older woman. Golden blonde hair, green eyes, average height, incredibly beautiful- if you had change either woman’s hair colours, they could almost look identical. “You know what to do,” she whispered, taking the demigod’s hand. Eyes tearing up, Hero nodding before pulling the older woman along. “Come on! We got to help!”

She was doing the best she could, leading people to safety, reuniting families with one another. She ended up getting separated from the blonde at some point, yet... at the same time, it felt as if she was still with her. And perhaps she was. Seeing her cousin, Raye, she quickly headed to the daughter of Melpomene. “Raye! Thank the gods you’re okay- I know a safe place!” Taking the girl’s hand, she’d been about to turn and lead her... until she became face to face with the Minotaur. His horns shined in the light, glistening red and causing shivers to run down her spine. There was so much malice in his eyes, so much anger and resentment and just pure hatred. Despite standing at a small 4′9″ and three quarters, Hero quickly pushed her cousin behind her and signaled her get away from there. She didn’t check to see if she did or not; Remaining eye contact with the creature.

With one hand placed on the bump, her ever-growing bump where her young son grew more and more each day, she thought about her family. She thought about Edu, how she had envisioned them marrying in the future, sharing their lives together with Amelia and the baby and perhaps even more children, maybe more pets as well; She thought about her parents, their excitement over becoming grandparents, having loved Lia so much already and being excited over their daughter being pregnant; She thought about Raye, Millie, Chloe, Astrid, Anya, all the other demigods who lived on the island that she has met and befriended- along with those she hasn’t met but would love to befriend; She thought about that blonde woman, that mysterious woman whom she has known all of her life; She thought about all of the demigods who have lost their lives thanks to this beast, those of times long gone and those who were suppose to be protected on this island meant to be their home.

Grabbing a sword, she glared at the beast, eyes shining bright with tears. “For Icaria, you motherfucker,” she whispered, charging at him.

She fought hard. She did the best she could. She was able to slice at him, smiling slightly hearing him cry once she stabbed his thigh. But he was huge and she was small- and she was very much so quite pregnant, making her speed slow-paced. He swiped at her, knocking the sword out of her hand. She backed away, trying to keep his attention. “Get out of here!” she cried, waving away some nearby demigods. The monster turned to look at them, the daughter of Calliope grabbing some rocks and throwing them at the monster’s head. He growled in annoyance, raising his hand and swiping at her once more. Only this time... she wasn’t quick enough to dodge it.

His hand hit her stomach, knocking the wind out of her as she fell hard to the ground. She curled up in the fetal position, gasping for air as she held her stomach. “No, no, no,” she whispered, tears rolling down her face as she felt blood on her thighs. The Minotaur started to advance on her once more, until a few demigods attacked him and distracted him. She heard someone call out her name and strained to look, the blonde woman from before rushing towards her. She blacked out before the woman made her way to her.

~~~

She woke up in the hospital some time later, hooked up to machines. Her entire body ached and it hurt to breath, hurt to turn her head to look at her surroundings. She wasn’t surprised to see the blonde woman from before sitting on her bed, holding her hand while the other gently caressed her face.

“M-Mom?” she whispered, blue-green eyes scanning the muse’s face. Calliope smiled sadly before nodding. “Hello, darling,” she whispered. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

So many thoughts rushed through her head. The demigod wasn’t sure where to start, exactly. But there was something very important that quickly jumped out as she blurted, “Edu and Amelia? Are... A-Are they-...?” Calliope cupped her face and nodded profusely. “Yes, they’re alright. They’ll be here soon.”

Hero sighed softly, her body shaking as her hand went to rest on her stomach. Only... it felt different. That caused her to freeze. Eyes glancing down, her body began to shake again before looking at her mother, eyes wide. “Mom, what about the baby?” she whispered, yet she already knew the answer. “Mom, please- is my son okay?!”

Calliope couldn’t look at her, only at the demigod’s stomach. Tears began to stream down the young girl’s face as sobs left her lips. “Dammit, Calliope! Please tell me that my son and your grandson is okay!”

All the muse could do was shake her head, looking her daughter in the eyes once more. “I’m sorry, Hero,” she whispered.

She froze, it all suddenly becoming so real to her. “No...” she whimpered, shaking her head. All she could do was repeat the word, slowly getting louder until she was screaming, the muse of epic poetry and eloquence holding the girl in her arms as she mourned.

She didn’t get to hold him.

She didn’t get to say goodbye.

Her son... Her and Edu’s son... Amelia’s baby brother... How is she going to tell them?

[fyrapartnersearch]

Looking for an RP Partner!

Hello everyone ~ ! I hope everyone's faring well during these times. I was reminiscing while I was looking through one of my old sketchbooks and got nostalgic for roleplaying haha

About Me

I go by Pengy pretty much everywhere on the internet and my pronouns are they/them! (though if you happen to use others on me, that's okay lol). My timezone is PST~ My work schedule USUALLY has me working until 4-5pm, but sometimes I close which means I don't get home until 1am so please keep that in mind; I have my life to take care of as I'm sure you do too as well. I'm 21 years old and would like to rp with people close to my age so please don't feel offended if I decline due to a discrepancy between our ages,,, My motivation fluctuates a lot so sometimes I'll reply several times a day, sometimes I'll reply only a couple times, or sometimes I won't reply at all. If I don't respond for a long amount of time, please ping me!

Onto the good stuff yeah?

Roleplay Details

OCs Only: As this bullet point states, I'm ONLY interested in roleplays using only OCs. I'm open to using canon characters as just side characters for the few fandoms I'll list down below but they cannot be the main focus. 

1x1/One to One Only: I think these are the correct terms? Anyways, I cannot roleplay two main characters all at once as my focus just isn't that great.

Any Pairings/Must Have Romance*: Self-explanatory, though there are a few things I should note. I can do M/F, M/M, and F/F. I have not done many F/F pairings, but that is not saying I will not do it! I just have had more experience roleplaying the former two. On a side note, I can play either side! On a side side note, gender is a construct so really I don't care what gender your characters identify as, I just want romance lol

Smut?: Ehhhhhhhhh it depends I guess? Obviously you should also be 18+ but even then it'll really depend on what we're doing here. I'm not super comfortable rping or even discussing nsfw headcanons with anyone too much older than me. Otherwise, we will just discuss this later on if it comes up at all.

Limits: Related to the smut bullet point. I have my own personal limits but I have smooth brain and cannot remember exactly what haha. I'm not even gonna discuss kinks since like I previously mentioned before, nsfw is a tricky topic for me. Anything else outside of that, just ask me!

Writing: Sorry to anyone who does multi-para roleplays but my brain just aint what it used to be lol. We would be lucky if I can even get out two substantial paragraphs. One-liners are okay sometimes but not all the time. I try to match my partner's reply length as best as I can but please go easy on me if I don't write as much. Oh and I also only roleplay in the third person! Grammar issues are fine because I'm sure I've made several of those errors in this very ad. As long as I can still understand what you're going for, you're good.

RP Platforms: Discord, email, or google docs. MAY consider using tumblr text posts as well but would rather use the previously mentioned methods.

Roleplay Interests

Fandoms: I love taking existing universes and making something of my own using it! We can either take existing plot lines and modify it to suit our OCs, or just use the story's basic principles and make something entirely separate from the canon! I am interested in the following fandoms: Fire Emblem (specifically based on Awakening or Three Houses), Pokemon (can do the normal setting or gijinkas!), Kingdom Hearts, Dragon Age.

Original: This and fandoms are not mutually exclusive! Especially for something more generic such as simply using pokemon gijinkas, they can be used for a myriad of plots! Speaking of plots/settings, I have a few I'm interested in!

School/College setting: While something I'm not usually interested in, I've been wanting to try it out again! If we are using a high school setting absolutely no NSFW as per the blog's rules and my own. It's fun to explore budding love between young couples and seeing how they handle it while trying to maintain their school life. 

Fantasy/Supernatural: I have a handful of non-human OCs I've been wanting to revitalize for RP purposes! Nothing much else to say here off the top of my head; it is 1am at the time of me getting to this point of the ad lol

King (or Prince)/Knight: I'm such a sucker for this type of pairing and been craving this one in particular,, The pining,,, THE PINING!! Bonus if they can be childhood friends. This one in particular I'm only doing M/M though so sorry!

I'm open to doing other things! I'm not keen on doing post-apocalyptic settings nor anything futuristic (or would it be called cyberpunk? I'm not entirely sure)

Congrats on making it this far! If you're interested or have any questions, please contact me on my discord pengykun#3526 , my twitter (Pengy_sama), or shoot an email to rpwithpengy@gmail.com. You'd have better luck getting a hold of me through the first two platforms! If you choose to contact me here on tumblr, I may not respond right away as tumblr isn't my main form of social media.

[obscuritas-est-lux]

Mira Self Para Currently in a coma:

Mira woke up just like she had any other day to the sun shining in the windows. She could hear the birds singing in the trees outside. Their songs made her smile. She got up and stretched. “My goodness. I got up so late today.” She murmured to herself  as she draped her feet out of the bed. Her mother must have left early this morning. 

Mira got dressed and looked around her room. It wasn’t a giant room but it was her own. She smiled as she saw all of the paintings and drawings she had done since she was a small toddler. Mira walked over to the window and opened it letting the fresh air inside. She looked around at the land she was supposed to stay away from. She always wished she could go outside. Of course what her mother, Lilith didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her. 

“Did Mother Lilith leave early today?” Mira asked to her best friend Wes, the worlds nicest fox. He was laying casually under a tree. Next to him was his little sister  Gianna. Mira was never going to tell Wes that Gianna was adopted seeing as she was indeed a hedgehog. Wes nodded his head at her and Mira smiled. “Yes!” If Mother Lilith wasn’t around she was able to do whatever she wanted. Mira grabbed snacks for her two friends and climbed out the window. She climbed down the stone tower and onto the soft grass. 

“Hi guys!” She smiled and plopped down right next to Wes and Gianna. Wes walked over and curled up right next to her side and Gianna climbed into her lap. Mira sang songs and fed them snacks. “What are we going to do today?” She asked her best friends. They looked at her. She smiled at them and listened to their ideas. “Hmm we could go on a small adventure.” She nodded and gently placed Gianna off her lap. “Let’s go!” Mira and her friends skipped through the forest pretending to be all types of adventures. Mother Lilith brought Mira all kinds of books to keep her busy. 

There was only one rule. Don’t leave the tower. Mira broke that rule all the time. She did a really good job hiding it though. Finally it was time to go back to the tower before Mother Lilith arrived home. She said goodnight to Gianna and Wes and then climbed back into the top window of the tower. She straightened up their cozy tower home before starting dinner for her mother. 

“Mira!” Mother Lilith called from the ground. Mira tossed the basket over the ledge and pulled her mother up into the tower. “Hi Mother. I didn’t even get to say goodbye to you this morning.” Mira frowned as her mother stepped of the basket. Mira nearly out of breath leaned against the wall. “Oh Flower. I just couldn’t bare to wake you.” She cooed coming over and brushing her fingers over the backs of Mira’s hands. “What did you make for dinner?” She asked walking towards their kitchen.

“Your favorite soup. Remember you brought me the ingredients yesterday.” Mira called after her taking a deep breath. “Oh of course.” Mother Lilith nodded and sat at the table. They enjoyed their dinner in silence. Once everything was put away Mother Lilith called Mira over to her chair. “Flower. I would like for you to sing to me.” She smiled and placed Mira’s hands on her face. She couldn’t reject her mother. So she began to sing the song she was taught as a small child. Her mother use to sing it before she could. 

She continued to sing as the light went from her fingers and into her mother’s skin. Mira watched as her mother smiled. All of the worry lines and faded marks went away. Mira smiled feeling so proud she could help someone stay healthy. Mother Lilith told her all about how she had to save her from her father and aunt. All they wanted to do was abuse her power. She was kept in the tower to protect herself from them. 

After using her power Mira always grew tired so she said goodnight to Mother Lilith and went up to sleep. She was surprised to find an asleep Gianna on her pillow. “How did you get here sunshine?” She whispered and tucked the little hedgehog in with her. She told Gianna the story of how she had met them, obviously because Gianna wanted a bed time story. “It was about a year ago. I was sneaking around in the ya know where and I saw a poor fox all hurt. I ran over to him and secretly used my power to heal him. Shortly after you came out from your hiding spot and we became great friends.” Mira gave a soft kiss to her forehead and fell asleep. 

The next day was the best day it was Mira’s birthday. She got up and quickly went downstairs. Her mother was already sitting at the table waiting for her. “Good morning Mother” She smiled and grabbed the breakfast bread putting it next to her. “Isn’t today lovely?” She asked trying to drop a hint.

“Oh yes dear it is.” Mother Lilith half heatedly said eating her scone. “You know today is my birthday.” Mira said shyly. 

“Oh I distinctly remember that happening last year.” Mother Lilith chastised her daughter standing up from the table. “Oh but mother remember birthday’s are kind of an annual thing?”  Mother Lilith rolled her eyes. “Oh alright. What would you like for your birthday?” She sighed and looked at Mira. 

“Well you know that island that’s in the distance? The one that always releases those lanterns?” She asked pointing out the window. Mother Lilith tilted her head. “What about the island?” She knew where this was going and Mother Lilith was not happy not one bit. “I want to go there.” Mira sighed. “Please?” 

“You want to go outside?! To that island? Don’t you remember all the trouble I had to go through to get you off the island?!” Mother Lilith was enraged. How dare this child ask such things of her. “No. You will not. Ugh I’m tired. Come sing me a song.” Mother Lilith called Mira over. “But Mother....” Mira begged. 

“NO” Mother Lilith yelled at her daughter pushing her down. “I never want to speak of this again. I have to take a trip. I’ll be back in four days.” Mother Lilith grumbled. She wouldn’t tell Mira this but another child she had kept from their father was locked in a tower far from here. She had to go check to make sure that daughter was still alive. Lilith grabbed Mira’s hands and placed a soft kiss on them before heading out of the tower. 

Mira sighed. All she had wanted was to go to that beautiful island. She could see if from her window. Every year on her birthday they lit up the sky with beautiful lanterns and fireworks. It was like a party but just for her. “You know what. I can do this myself.” Mira said stomping her foot. She ran upstairs and packed a bag. 4 days had to be enough to visit the island and come back. Right? 

Mira climbed out of the tower and down to the grass. Wes and Gianna were right by her feet. How did Gianna get back down? Oh well. Mira told them her whole plan. Which since her only plan was to somehow make it to the island it didn’t take very long to explain. “Alright. Let’s go!” Mira said. She was just heading into the forest when she saw two men walking towards her tower. She instantly hid behind the trees to watch. 

“I don’t know if Lilith is here. Are you sure she’s hiding someone here?” The older looking of the two men said. Lilith? Did they mean mother? 

“That’s what Apollo said. He said Artemis sent out Hunters and they tracked Lilith to 3 other towers. This was just the closest to the island so they said to check it first.” The younger one said looking up at the tower. 

“How do we even get up? There’s no doors.” The older one rubbed his hands over his hair. 

Were they bandits...were these the bad people her mother always warned her about. What was she going to do? Mira pulled out of her bag the slingshot she had secretly made. She didn’t have any rocks so she grabbed a berry from the bush. “These pass as rocks right Gianna? Wes?” She asked her friends. They simply shrugged at her. Mira crouched down and got closer to the two men. They were now at the base of her tower looking up. 

“Freeze or I’ll shoot you!” She called from her hiding spot in the woods. The two men jumped and spun around at the sound. “We don’t want to hurt you!” They called out holding their hands up. Mira got closer to them. “What do you want with my tower?” She asked them peaking her head out.

“Your tower...wait...” The younger one tilted his head. 

“We don’t want to hurt you. Your father sent us to save you!” The older one called out with a big smile on his face. 

“My Mother says my father wants me dead.” Mira questioned them. “Or he wants to steal my powers.” She wasn’t sure who to believe. She had to believe Mother Lilith. That was the only parent she had ever known. 

“Look I promise we won’t hurt you. We....we’re Lilith’s sons.” The younger one said almost sadly. Mother Lilith had other children? 

“Her what?!” Mira jumped out of her hiding spot. “Sons?” The two men nodded at her. “How?!” The two looked at each other and then back at Mira.

“Well...um that part...” The older one started.

“We’re older than you.” The younger one interrupted. Mira saw the look of appreciation on the older boys face and was confused. 

“I’m Finn.” Said the older boy smiling at her. “I’m Noel.” The younger one added. “We really don’t want to hurt you. We want to take you to the island. It’s your birthday right?” Noel smiled at her pointing in the direction of the island. 

“You’ll take me to the island?” She smiled wide all thoughts of the men being murders disappeared. Finn and Noel nodded. “That’s why were here!” They said almost at the same time. Mira leaned down and started talking to Wesley and Gianna. “What do I do?” She asked sighing. Mira nodded her head as Wesley told her that siblings were important but she needed to be safe. “Will you go with me?” She asked Wesley and Gianna. They noodled telling her that they had already planned to travel with her. 

Mira popped back up. “Okay I’ll go with you.” She nodded. The men looked at her like she had lost her mind. She had just been talking to a fox and a hedgehog. What was happening. They headed over to her. Together the 5 of them traveled through the forest. They talked all about their favorite things and how much Mira loved the forest. It had been 2 days and Mira was almost worried that they wouldn’t make it back in time for mother’s return. She had to put it out of her head. 

Finally they made it to the edge of the land. Sadly there was a 2 person max on the boat that took people across to the island. They decided to send Finn along with Gianna and Wes across first. Mira would not allow her best friends stay and wait for her on this side. She wanted to go by herself with them but Finn and Noel didn’t want her running away. So they made a deal. Mira waved to her friends as they crossed the water. Now it was just Mira and Noel.

What they didn’t know was that Mother Lilith made very good time at her other tower. She arrived home to surprise Mira and found it empty. She immediately started a search. It wasn’t long before Mother Lilith caught up with Mira and her two sons. She sighed. Of course those boys would try and hurt their wonderful mother. They just didn’t understand. She couldn’t let them take Mira to that island. Once she was there the God’s powers would protect her and Mother Lilith wouldn’t be able to use her healing powers anymore. 

Mother Lilith went searching. Finally she found the perfect helper. A Minotaur. She offered them whatever their heart desired if they brought her child back unharmed. Of course Mother Lilith couldn’t remember the name of the child she had wanted since she only called that child Flower for her whole life. She said it would be the child with dark brown hair. The Minotaur was off. 

Noel and Mira were sitting waiting for the boat to come back. A crowd started to form, apparently there was some type of event at the island that day. Everyone from the surrounding villages were going to get on the boats to head over. It was then that Mira and Noel heard the screams. A Minotaur came racing through the crowd plowing through everyone. Mira and Noel both without thinking starting helping people. Noel used up all of his energy to hit the animal with a lightening strike. Unfortunately he wound up gravely wounded. Mira had been healing as many people as she could when she stumbled on her brother laying on the ground. 

“No!” She yelled. She had just met him. He seemed really nice! Mira decided she couldn’t let him die. Mira did everything she could to save him. She was so angry at the groups of people that she yelled at them. She heard the voice of the boat captain tell everyone to back off. The boat captain told Mira he was going to help her get Noel into the boat they were going to take him to the hospital. Whatever that was. Mira couldn’t pay attention to him. Her vision was fading. The last thing she saw was Mother Lilith standing on the edge of the forest glaring at her. “You will never survive there.” How could she have possibly heard that. She felt Noel’s heart beat under her fingers. She stopped. She was done. Her eyes closed.

[shiftingdani]

every road you take will always lead you home // self para

WHO: Dani Harper

WHEN: November 10th, 2019;

WHERE: Campus, Dani´s Room ( Sciron Square ), Outside of NYADA

WHAT: Dani makes a decision. Or maybe she´s made it a long time ago.

WARNING(S): mentions of depression and death.

Dani had thought about doing this for a long time, but there had always been something holding her back just that tiny bit.

Her friends.

She had come to this, admittedly, horrible place not wanting to be close to anyone, and yet there had been people who´d found their way into her heart, intertwining their own paths with hers. It was hard to leave them behind, but if there was the slightest chance that Marley was alive and out there, then she´d have to go looking for.

For a moment she had thought that it was silly to seem so dependent on a person. To fall into a depression because the person you loved was gone. But the truth was: Marley had come into her life, catching her off guard and turned everything upside down, in the best way possible.

Dani had never thought she´d be able to love someone again, let alone plan a future with them, but Marley was different, Marley was part of her life and they had promised each other they´d find the other, however far they would have to go.

And this was the time. NYADA was falling apart, and as much as it pained her to leave her friends behind, she knew they could take care of themselves, and if she was being honest then there wasn´t much she could contribute without her powers.

The funny thing about all of this, however, was realizing just how easy it was to get rid of that stupid collar. She couldn´t have done it if she would have stayed, but she wasn´t staying. There wasn´t much she was taking, everything that belonged to Marley still packed in boxes, her own things where they belonged, on the bedside table, in the drawers and cupboards.

Fiyero was sitting on the bed, watching her with curious eyes.

“So we´re really doing this, hm?” It wasn´t really a question, he knew that there was no going back from this point on. Dani had made her decision, and everything was done. She´d been talking to people from her past, making sure she´d have a couple of new IDs and identities to choose from.

She´d never actually thought she´d go back to a life of running around, but then again settling down had never really been in the cards for her until she had met Marley. And Marley was the person she had to find.

Home, Dani had learned, wasn´t a place. It was two eyes and a heartbeat.

The knock on the door pulled her from her thoughts and she opened, letting the hooded figure slip inside the room. She´d never actually dealt with people from the black market. She´d heard about it, of course, but there had never actually been the need to get something.

Not that she was getting something now.

Nodding, the figure pulled out a device that Dani eyes for a moment, before she lifted her hair up. It only took a moment before the collar clicked, falling away and into the hands of the hooded figure. It felt…strange, to not have it. Not that she was complaining, but to her it had become part of her life, as horrible as it had been.

When she found Marley, she´d have to make sure the other Shapeshifters would get rid of this thing, too. Dani had no idea how to do that, but then again she´d never really been someone who´d gone for long term planning.

The hooded figure nodded before it slipped back out of the room, leaving Dani to herself. The collar around her neck got replaced with the ring Marley had given her, tied to a necklace.

And for a moment, Dani felt as if there was nothing she couldn´t do. She hadn´t felt like this ever since coming to this God forsaken place, but now the world was wide open, and there was no way she was going to make the same mistake again and get caught.

She knew where to go. Who to look out for.

And she was going to find Marley.

She had left all of the pictures she had drawn of their encounters with monsters and dragons to Elliott. On top of those drawings was one of the two of them she had done, sitting outside Sciron Square with Fiyero and Ziggy.

She had left drawings to the rest of their friends, too. A drawing of a picture Kurt and her had taken backstage at the New York Fashion Week. Santana and her in their Snowball dresses, Matt and her at last year’s Christmas Party, Tina and her at the beach. No notes, simply because the less they knew, the better. These drawings, however, they were proof that she had existed. That she had made an impact on people´s lives.

There had never been anything like that in her old lives. No actual prove of her existence, just faces she changed and left behind like masks dropped. But Dani Harper? She had lived, and she had made friends that she loved.

Maybe, just maybe, they had loved her too.

Sam was the only one who got an actual note along with his picture. She felt as if that was something she owed him. Dani´s never had a best friend before, but Sam had been there for her from the start, and they had just grown closer and closer.

Dear Sam,

I know you might not understand why I´m doing this, or worse: You do and you´re asking yourself why I didn´t ask you to come along. You know I couldn’t have, and I wouldn´t have, asked that of you. You´ll go on to do great things, and know that, wherever I am, I will always be immensely proud of you.

I´ll never forget what you´ve done for me. I´ll never forget crying over Endgame, or your honest attempts at trying to catch me before dropping me to the floor. ;)

I can´t begin to tell you how much I love you. I´ve never had someone to call a best friend before, but you´ll always be remembered as that, and more.

I know it´s never been easy, and it probably won´t be for a while, but I know that you can do this. You´re so much better, kinder, and more wonderful than you believe.

Always remember: You can do this.

I love you 3000,

Dani.

She had attached the note to a bag full of items she was going to leave him. She wasn´t going to need most of them anyway, and whatever was coming their way, her friends would need them more.

Turning to look at the makeshift mirror she had pieced back together, the face looking back at Dani wasn´t one anyone would recognize. Her hair was black, still, but it was short and easily hide able beneath the black hoodie she was wearing. Her jeans were just as dark as she picked up her things, nodding for Fiyero to return to the tattoo, which she had hidden beneath a glamour.

All the drawings were quickly distributed, the only place she lingered for a moment was Sam´s door. It was the dead of the night, the corridors were quiet and dark as she leaned her forehead against the door for a moment.

She´d have to go. The person taking her off campus wasn´t going to wait forever, but for a moment Dani simply closed her eyes, taking a moment to just…take it all in.

She´d left her phone on the nightstand, not wanting anyone to trace her. She´d get a new one once she was safe and sound away from this place. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out the necklace, that Sam and her shared, hanging it onto the door, too.

The final thing she pulled from her pocket was another small note, which she trusted Sam to burn as soon as he´d read it.

When you get out of this place, come find me here.

Scribbled underneath was the address of a small coffee shop in downtown New York, where Dani had worked. She had no idea if either of them would survive this ordeal, or if she´d find Marley, but if she did, and got out of all of this alive, that would be where she´d be waiting.

Pushing the note beneath the door she whispered, “I love you 3000,” Again, before pulling up the hood over her head and heading down the corridor. For once, however, she wasn´t heading into the darkness, but towards the light.

It's been a long day without you, my friend And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again We've come a long way from where we began Oh I'll tell you all about it when I see you again When I see you again

Dani immediately noticed the way everything changed as she came out the other side, away from Campus and away from NYADA. The person who had taken her had stayed behind, happy with their payment.

Dani found, however, that her lips curved into a slight smile, and as she walked, long strands of pink hair peeking out from under the black hood.

[sidlyrics]

Tokyo FM - April 2nd 2006 - Danger Radio Excerpt

DJ: Bueno, por favor, presentaos uno por uno~ M: Eh... este es el cantante de SID, Mao. S: Shinji, guitarrista. A: Aki, bajista. Y: Yuuya, batería. DJ: Sí, encan~tado. SID: Encanta~dos. DJ: Bueno, entonces, creo que hablaremos sobre la relación entre SID y yo. ¿Cuándo nos conocimos? Eh, ¿fue sobre el 200... 4? Y: Mm. DJ: ¿Fue hace dos años cuando grababais Renai? Y: Mm, eso es. M: Sí, fue más o menos por aquel entonces. DJ: Bien. M: Sí. DJ: Vale. Bueno~ Han pasado dos años desde entonces, pero ¿cómo era yo? M: (risas) DJ: Cómo era el DJ Suu-san desde el punto de vista de los miembros de SID. Y: Suu-san, llevamos conociéndonos dos años, pero... DJ: Eh, parece que suena como una ruptura. SID: (risas). DJ: Estábamos juntos, ¿estábamos juntos? (risas) Y: Sí, pero bueno, se ha acabado. DJ: Hablando de eso, antes de eso... hace todavía más tiempo... Y: Sí. DJ: Nos conocimos antes de eso. Y: En cierta sala de conciertos. DJ: Eso parece. Y: Sí. Nos conocimos. Nos dejaste muy impresionados. DJ: ¿En qué sentido? Y: Me dio la impresión de que estabas muy cabreado. DJ: ¿No me hace parecer una persona desagradable? Y: No, no, no, no, nada de eso. ¿Y Shinji-san? DJ: Conocí a Shinji-san antes en algún sitio. S: Eso es... Fue hace unos años, en el 2000... sobre el año 2000. DJ: Año 2000. S: Por ahí. DJ: Es más preciso decir que sabíamos de nuestra existencia, más que conocernos. S: Nos ayudabas una y otra vez en los conciertos. Aunque me dabas un poco de miedo por aquel entonces. DJ: ¿No soy más que una persona que da miedo? S: Fufufu. DJ: ¿Es eso cierto? S: No, porque, contrariamente a tu aspecto, eres un hombre muy amable. DJ: Gracias~. SID: (risas). S: Ay, sí que es un hombre amable. Y: Por eso, por eso, me arrepiento [de romper]. M: Por eso, huh (risas). DJ: ¿Qué hay de Mao-kun? M: Ehh, todo el mundo dice que das miedo, así que supongo que también creo que es así. DJ: Ahh, quiero decir antes de conocernos. Sí, sí, sí. M: Ehh, entonces supongo que eras una persona que daba miedo. DJ: Eh, he fracasado al final. M: (risas). DJ: ¿No es así? (risas). M: No, no tenía miedo. Bueno~ Básicamente sabíamos quién era el otro. DJ: Mmmm. M: Y, sí que lo escuché - que eres alguien que da miedo. Pero en realidad tienes una sonrisa maravillosa. DJ: No te voy a dar puntos por eso (risas). M: Tienes una sonrisa maravillosa~. DJ: ¡No te voy a dar puntos por eso! (risas). Y: Ese es mi único arrepentimiento. SID: (risas). DJ: Suenan como tus últimas palabras; ¡no servirá! Y: (risas). DJ: ¿Y Aki-san? A: Ehh, en realidad nos conocimos en una esquina. DJ: Una esquina, huh. A: ¿Se acuerda Suu-san? DJ: Sí, sí. A: Esto~, en Año Nuevo. DJ: Ichibangai. A: En Ichibangai (risas), en Año Nuevo, conocí a Suu-san. DJ: Sí, fue como el segundo día de Año Nuevo. A: Sí, iba de bar en bar y sucedió después de hacer mi tercera parada. Me acuerdo. DJ: (risas) Eso fue hace bastante tiempo. A: A primera vista, parecías una persona que daba miedo. DJ: En resumen, que doy miedo. A: Me pareció que serías el tipo de persona que llevaría un maletín de cuero. DJ: No, no, para nada. Así que, en resumen, Suu-san da miedo. A: (risas). DJ: En conclusión... Y: Das miedo. (Todos dicen "das miedo".) Y: La primera impresión que nos diste fue de miedo. DJ: Pero en realidad... Y: Simplemente das miedo. Punto. DJ: ¡¿Eh?! SID: (risas). DJ: Esto es SID para vosotros, y formaron el grupo en 2003. M: Sí. DJ: Hasta ahora, han lanzado 2 álbumes y 3 singles, ¿pero cómo son como grupo? Oigámoslo de boca de cada uno de los miembros, junto con una presentación.

············································

DJ: So, please introduce yourselves one by one~ M: Eeto this is SID's vocalist, Mao. S: Shinji on guitar. A: Aki on bass. Y: Yuuya on drums. DJ: Hai, yoroshiku onegaishima~su. SID: Onegaishima~su. DJ: Well then, I think we'll talk about the relationship between SID and I. When did we first meet? Nee, was it around 200... 4? Y: Mm. DJ: Was it two years ago when you're recording Renai? Y: Mm, that's right. M: Yes it was around that time. DJ: That's about it. M: Yes. DJ: Alright. Well~ It's been two years since then, but what kind of person was I? M: (laughs) DJ: What DJ Suu-san was like from the viewpoints of the SID members. Y: Suu-san, we've known each other for two years, but... DJ: Eh, you make it sound like a breakup. SID: (laughs) DJ: We were together, we were together? (laughs) Y: We were, but well, it's over. DJ: Speaking of which, before that... further back in the past... Y: Yeah. DJ: We've met before that. Y: At a certain livehouse. DJ: Seems so. Y: Yeah. We've met. You left a deep impression. DJ: What kind of impression? Y: You gave me the impression that you were really pissed. DJ: Doesn't that kind of make me an unpleasant person? Y: Nononono, none of that. And Shinji-san? DJ: I've met Shinji-san somewhere before. S: That's right... It was a few years ago, 2000... about year 2000. DJ: Year 2000. S: About there. DJ: It's more accurate to say we knew of each other than actually meeting. S: You helped to back us up time and again at lives. Although I was a little afraid of you back then. DJ: Am I nothing but a scary person? S: Fufufu. DJ: Is that okay? S: No because, contrary to your appearance, you're really a kind man. DJ: Thank you~ SID: (laughs) S: Oi he really is a kind man. Y: Because of that, because of that, it's a great regret of mine [for breaking up]. M: Because of that huh (laughs). DJ: What about Mao-kun? M: Ehh, everyone says you're scary, so I guess I think you're scary too. DJ: Ahh, I mean before we met. Hai hai hai. M: Ehh, then I guess you were a scary person. DJ: Eh, I fail after all. M: (laughs) DJ: Isn't that so (laughs)? M: No, I wasn't afraid. Well~ We pretty much recognised each other. DJ: Mmhmm. M: And, I did hear about it - that you're a scary person. But in reality you have a wonderful smile. DJ: I'm not giving you points for that (laughs). M: You have a wonderful smile~ DJ: I'm not giving you points for that (laughs)! Y: That's my one and only regret. SID: (laughs) DJ: Those sound like your last words; that won't do! Y: (laughs) DJ: And Aki-san? A: Ee~to, we actually met on a street corner. DJ: Street corner huh. A: Does Suu-san remember? DJ: I do, I do. A: Ano~, on New Year... DJ: Ichibangai. A: At Ichibangai (laughs), on New Year, I met Suu-san. DJ: Yes, it was around the second day of New Year. A: Yeah, I was bar-hopping and it happened after I've made my third stop. I remember. DJ: (laughs) That was quite a long time ago. A: At first glance you seemed like a scary person. DJ: To sum your answers up, I'm a scary person. A: I thought you were the type who'd suit a leather briefcase. DJ: No, no, not at all. So to sum it up, Suu-san is a scary person. A: (laughs) DJ: As for the conclusion... Y: You seem scary. (Everyone pipes up with 'You seem scary'.) Y: The first impression you gave us was scary. DJ: But in truth... Y: You're just plain scary. Period. DJ: Eh?! SID: (laughs) DJ: That's SID for you, and they were formed in 2003. M: Hai. DJ: Up to now, they've released 2 albums and 3 singles, but what are they like as a band? Let's hear it from every member himself, along with a self-introduction.

English: Gurakko Español: Reila

[hibari-kyouya-skylark]

“→ R ・U ・L・ E ・S  { last UPDATE - 03/21/2020 }

x-  I’m currently indie but selective. please know that it’s very unlikely that I will start a rp with you if I’m not interested. I will however, always try to answer everything I can ic; and eventually ooc; When I reblog memes, feel free to send me some it can be either ic, on anon or off. I will definitely try my best to reply to each ask. Excluding some I find nonsense or not fitting or impossible to be answered ic; If you want to reply to an ask or meme , then please post a new thread tagging me in it. I don’t like reblogging asks.

x- posts&&;threads

I can write starters but not particularly fond of doing so. I think I’m not skilled enough to come up with an interesting intro. Sometimes I’ll post starters however…but very rarely. You likely see me go with some memes for starters ,if even.

x- RP’s and ;threads might be SHORT

Please note: Hibari is someone who likes being aloof, That means regardless of whom I rp with, chances are that our RP’s and threads are rarely long due to Hibari’s character. It might be different. if we decide on a multi rp, but that’s unlikely to happen very often because I rather write those I’m good with and not other characters. However I may agree to it if other characters involved in our rp are written like NPC’s or if I just need to explain what they do and not write and speak as them.r 

x- About my muse:  I can be a battle maniac and bastard in rp and my muse will often say “kamikorosu”  aka.. “I’ll bite you to death”; honestly it might be a bother within a while to read that all the time.. but if you don’t like it ,then know that I don’t care because Hibari says it a lot and doing that is only in character. And  I care way more about an accurate  portrayal than some possible complains.

furthermore be aware that due to my headcanon this hibari is a yakuza son and hitman. I know a lot about the yakuza traditional and modern ones. And that’s why I think it’s obvious that Hibari is definitely related to that. As I mentioned already my muse is a battle maniac. that means fighting situations can and very likely will happen a lot in our RP. I do not expect you to be a great writer at T-1 tho, so please don’t worry about detailing.

x- About my RP style

my writing style differs via mode. Sometimes I write a lot, sometimes not. My preferences are para-semi and novella. There is absolutely no need for you to do the same in return. But if we have chosen a semi para rp I ask kindly that you refrain from sending a single line as reply. I always allow this for asks and crack rps tho. I’m not a professional writer so please expect me to have writing flaws. English is not my native language after all. 

I approve of M!A’s but I have a right to refuse them when I don’t like them, or think of them as too ooc;If you are part of a MMOFRPG group and would like to rp with me, don’t be afraid to approach me. I used to rp at MMOFRPG for an entire year and I don’t mind roleplaying with you just because you’re part of a group.

If you think I missed your reply, hit me up pls. I try my best to make each roleplay enjoyable for my roleplay partner, chances are , I’m trying even to meet your way of writing, to please you. I can be very slow with replies, please be patient.Threads come and go. Don’t take it badly when I drop our thread, we can always start a new one. or maybe our preferences of writing just doesn’t match, in that case I’m still willing to interact ic; via asks and similar but long threads are out of question.

Important

   Everything my character thinks or quotes is often posted like this:    //nuisance.// or (( pathetic ))    everything dark,sadistic or masochistic he thinks is striked though and posted like this ”interesting.”

Planning to kill my character? Notify me first and we’ll discuss it.

Want to RP with younger Hibari?: Ask me, I might agree to it.

this blog will have trigger warning contents. RP’s can get quite dark, angsty, psychotic and bloody. Trigger warning content such as gore, homicide, torture, self-harm, can or will happen, but will be tagged accordingly.

x- Any japanese in RP?

that is possible, for one mun rena here studies japanese since several years, and for another using japanese in my rp’s always makes me feel more ic; But alas, before you think now. “oh great but I don’t understand anything then?” , let me reassure you that, unless upon common agreement, I will never write in hiragana and katakana throughout our rp, and merely use some easy things to know and in romaji, like “kamikorosu” or “shine” “aa sou,  souka.” I never use anything that may seems hard to be understood. So please do not let this be of a disturbance to you , If you ever want to know what I’m saying however, please just mention it in your tags.

x- NSFW?

Mun is over 18 years old and Personally, when it comes to smut, I prefer dub and noncon themes. I do not mind ERP, upon common agreement. I prefer ERP in DM tho, but if happening in a dashboard RP, I will put it under read more and tag accordingly.  Also please know Hibari is more of a sadomasochist. Also I’m ironically not a fan of yaoi but when it comes to Hibari, I definitely do not mind multiships. 6918/1869, 691827,1896/9618,1827/2718,1006918 even others. Well I mean. I simple ship what I ship.

x- mun&IMPORTANT details Please note that what I write has nothing to with the real me. And as for me.. well my real name is Rena.  I did rp Hibari once before , and for quite a long time, I was best known as hibari-kyoya-skylark. It was actually one of my most liked muses along with Rena Ryuugu and Shogo Makishima. The real me also used to do shin kendo and iaido, I’m an INTJ-A.. quite a JP lover, and I’m actually cute but picky and not very open hearted but when we are getting along well, I can be your best friend. I’m also quite aloof,sarcastic like my muse and I’m often way too honest and blunt. I have a sideblog that I use mainly to reblog and post all kind of stuff and moe culture. As a maid while in my role as neko meido. I’m an actress, who is mainly moe and cute and obviously not my full real persona.

my personal sideblog:  @maid-rena​

Discord: 竜宮 レナ#7777

x- Formating Edits, Icons and Layout are made by myself unless otherwise stated. Most of my icons are edited and cleaned by me, please don’t use them. I made over 1k icons before but unfortunately. I lost many, likely I will make new icons again.the mun faceclaim here for myself is ofc rena I’m not the best editor however and I really suck making themes so chances are low that I will update my theme often. However if you’re skilled and talented in editing and making themes, then you’re absolutely free to help me out, Like, totally  ~

I sometimes use scripting and sometimes not, it’s always up to my laziness and mood and it often depends on me being mobile or using my laptop.

Lastly: last time I did rp hibari like now was 7years ago, as such I’m now catching up on things I forgotten, until I remember everything my rp activity is likely one themed and nothing special.

[funnymemes-and-kinkydreams]

My Coming Out Stories

I started realizing I liked girls when I was nine. This was also around the time my older sister had been going through a questioning period like a lot of people do and had said she liked girls and even dated a few. I remember we spent a lot of that summer rocking out to I Kissed A Girl by Katy Perry and talking about Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato who were her celebrity crushes at the time. 

I was pretty sheltered at that age and my older sister was my first introduction to anything gay. But it made a lot of things make sense for me. I was also super obsessed with those 2 celebrities and it always felt... different but I couldn’t explain why. I was nine and didn’t know much about gay. Then there were the little crushes I would get on my female friends. I didn’t channel those well cause I didn’t actually know what was going on for a while so honestly, it ended with a lot of tense friendship endings cause I didn’t actually understand what I was feeling and well kids don’t exactly deal with new feelings very well. 

But anyways spending time with my sister and learning about what gay is and seeing her with her girlfriends and such. It started to make sense to me who I was. At least part of who I was. I would always admire the pretty strong women (especially the gothy villains) in the shows and movies I watched. I didn’t agree with a lot of the things my straight friends said or the way they saw boys, it just never made sense. 

I spent a couple years just in my head going yeah I like girls. My sister had moved past her questioning period after about a year and a half and realized no girls weren’t for her. I half expected maybe that would happen for me. Maybe that’s how it’s supposed to go and then I will be like all my friends again. A very silly thought. But no, it did not go away. 

Eventually, in middle school, I was finally ready to tell my parents. I was a teen now, about to enter high school, and starting to feel much bigger crushes. I wanted to stop hiding. It was hard honestly. My parents were okay but honestly not great with handling having a gay daughter the first time around. They were “supportive” but would also talk shit and say vaguely bleh not nice things when she wasn’t around. I think they were just... trying to understand. But I really. I don’t know. 

Anyways around this time, my cousin was living with us and she just had to beat me at everything, including coming out. And they handled that just as well as they did with my sister. So I retreated and kept it to myself. 

Then in high school, I ended up going to what is probably the gayest nerdiest fucking school. it was beautiful. The GSA (gender sexuality alliance) ran things not the ASB not really. There were no sports instead there were gamer groups and robotics teams. The biggest dance every year wasn’t a homecoming it was queer prom. Here I was able to be my self. Everyone could be themselves. People were coming out all the time just comfortably, easy. As trans, gay, queer, whatever, and it was just excepted. By students, by teachers, it was wonderful.

This made it hard sometimes to keep hidden from my family though. I was crushing hard on a girl for a while and eventually, I came out just for the slight chance maybe that I could date this girl. That was a silly reason and honestly, I knew that wasn’t going to happen, but I needed to give my self extra motivation to come out or that was never going to happen either. 

I told my older sister first because of course. She was supportive, and I cried cause man was it a relief to just say to someone. Then the plan was to tell my mom and dad, but I panicked. 

So instead, I did a silly thing. I tried to just. Push it down. Make it go away. There was a nice boy and he looked like the kind of boy the hetero girls seem to go for. He liked debate which was a nice thing to have in common. So I tried to make myself ignore my feelings for the girl I liked, ignore the need to admire the very attractive exchange student in our class, and just try to enjoy this boy. To really encourage my self and attempt to be closer to my mother I even talked to her about this boy. Besides, it couldn’t be that bad right? Well here’s the funny thing that happened with that. 

We had a debate in class. It was on gay marriage. I, of course, was on the side that supported it, as was the boy. The other side got to go first. I was the closer for my team so I was going very last. The other team kept going on and on about all the things “wrong” with gay marriage. It was hard to hear but what was worse was it felt like my team was barely defending our side. They were doing the bare minimum. Sure this was just for some class credit, but this was an important issue, why weren’t they trying harder? By this time I felt all this rage and anger inside of me. I started crying silently, and don’t even realize I’m crying at first. I was lost in this world hearing all their negative words, thinking of my own sexuality, thinking of every counter-argument, thinking about how unless I give a heck of a closing argument my team was certainly going to lose. Suddenly the boy's hand tapped my shoulder. I looked at him kinda startled back into reality. He asked if I was okay. I just nodded slowly. He put his hand at the top of my back and asked if that was okay and I said yes, appreciating that he asked, and he rubbed it while I sat and listened and cried. Holy shit I was crying. Now I knew I was crying. Nobody really seemed to notice. Which was good. Until it was my turn. Everyone looked at me and I swear it was like time stopped. Now everyone knew I was crying, now everyone knew this was personal, now everyone probably knew I was gay. All I could think was if I don’t counter well and remove my personal emotions and just layout solid arguments and facts now, we were going to fail. I refused to fail. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and replayed every word the opposing team said and who on the team said it, and I had a counter for everything, I replayed what my team attempted to say and get at, and I sharpened it, improved it. By the end everyone was speechless. Then both sides were clapping. We won. I was able to breathe again. The boy looked over at me and was like... “So... you’re gay?” That’s cool! Then he smiled and said he’d see me tomorrow. Fuck. I was super fucking gay.  So then I told my para. (I’m a little person and in a wheelchair. So at school, I needed what is called a para, basically a helper. She carried stuff and reached things for me and was there in case I injured my self.) She became like a second mom to me. She is actually related to Ryan Lewis. She told me about this new song Same Love by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. She said she supported me and encouraged me to talk to my parents. Eventually, she sent M&RL a video of me singing and they gave me tickets and backstage passes to go see them in concert when they came to town but that’s another story. 

And that was it, no more stalling, time to tell the parents. I texted the girl I was in to. Told her it’s finally happening. I’m doing it. I’m coming out. She too was supportive and waiting for me to text after I did the do. 

So I called my parents into my room, said we need to talk. Already I see the panic on their faces wondering what the fuck I need to have a serious talk about. Fair. I start crying before I even start speaking. Then finally I say. “I like girls.” 

My mom says “And boys?” and I said “No, just girls.” and my dad says “Dude great you’re gay. Why are you getting all serious? You could’ve sent this in a text. Not a big deal. Congratulations.” and walked off. He did not understand the struggle of trying to come out and the worry of being accepted or not but at least he didn’t care I was gay. My mom was a bit more confused (probably cause I had spent like a month talking about a boy trying to be not gay) I tried to explain that to her. Explain that even he was like bruh you gay. She was a bit confused (again fair) but said alright. 

Things were... weird. Dad thought this was an opening to make all the gay jokes which it wasn’t and it wasn’t okay. He recently, 7 years later, stopped so that’s nice. They, for a similarly long while, didn’t want me to tell my younger sister or the family but eventually, that changed as well. Though I still haven’t told much of the fam. My parents still are not the greatest with the slowly growing amount of LGBT+ representation on TV but they’re slowly, through a lot of me putting my foot down and talking about why it’s important, getting better. They support and have supported my relationships. 

I have a mixed group of friends across the LGBT+ spectrum and also straight cis allies. I am more myself and can openly love women because women are amazing and I know that the people in my life are okay with that. I am happier even with the bumps in the road, the occasional homophobia I witness or experience or hear, I am happier since I came out. Because I get to be me. Unapologetically me. I am proud to love women. I am proud of my community. 

And that���s it. That’s my first coming out story