#(this photo is from a car ride which is why she looks so scared. she's scared of cars and being picked up)

[iamyounicorn]

CRIMINAL

[mikaleialt]

BMW

Bada Lee x reader

Smut (mdi)

Synosis: Bada can't take it anymore, you are both on the way to a party hosted by JustJerk to celebrate the dance academy's anniversary. But you just had to wear that skimpy dress and now here you are, in the middle of the empty road on a rather foggy night.

cw: smut, public sex (?), car sex, vaginal fingering, cunnilingus. read at your own risk, no use of Y/n, not proofread

Request are open!!!

Bada's grip on the wheel gets tighter and tigher as every second passes as she tries to focus on the road ahead.

You are seating on the passenger seat, wearing that tight black dress that is slowly riding up your thighs. Bada clenches her jaw as she watches you taking pictures of yourself, and the streetlights and buildings you passed by on the corner of her eye.

Honestly why do you have to wear that sexy outfit anyway, Bada thoughts to herself—not that her outfit isn't sexy too, after all she is wearing a white croptop under a black cropped blazer and a pair of black pants which looks absolutely stunning on her.

You seem unaware of the effect you have on Bada when you wore the dress as you now spam her phone with your selfies.

While taking pictures of yourself, Bada slowly loses control over herself as she puts her hand on your thighs, slowly caressing it. But this gesture is not foreign to you anymore, Bada always does this whenever you're next to her while driving, so you disregard her and continue to take a photo of you in another angle.

As few more minute passes by, Bada's hands starts to wander closer to the hem of your dress which by now is just a few inches away from your waist. You stay still in silence as you anticipate Bada's next move.

"Fuck, I can't help it anymore" Bada mutters as she pulled over to the side of the empty road. You look at her, confused as to why she stopped the car but when Bada looks back at you, you felt a shiver run down your spine as you met her cold glaze.

"Back of the car. Now." Bada presses the button to unbuckle both of your seatbelt before opening the door next to her and moving to the back of her BMW sedan.

Feeling scared and excited at the same time, you quickly followed her order and exited the passenger seat to move to the backseat.

But upon opening the right-side door of the backseat, Bada had already pulled you inside and quickly attacked your lips with kisses.

You moaned right into the kiss at your girlfriend's aggresiveness, as you felt her hands caress your thighs once again before hiking up your dress all the way up to you waist, exposing the lacey panties you have underneath.

"Fucking hell, you were planning this all along do you?" Bada once again mutters as she run her finger down on your clothed folds, feeling the wet spot on your panties which made you release a small moan.

Bada continues on kissing your lips before wandering down to your neck, sucking and biting it before going back up to make out with you once again.

"B-Bada, wait—the party" You try to say in between the kiss. "Fuck the party, I'm enjoying this more" she said as she now set your panties aside before playing with your clit.

You can't help but moan loudly at the sensation you're feeling. How did an innocent drive to a party escalated to this, you thought.

After a few more minutes of Bada playing with your clit and leaving marks all over your neck and shoulders, she finally inserted two fingers and start scissoring you which causes you to moan louder.

"B-Bada—nggh... wait— ah" her fingers are so long, that it hits you all on the right places that makes your eyes roll to the back of your head.

You tried to stop her from making you cum, afraid that you'll ruin both of your outfits and the car seat. But Bada doesn't care about any of that right now, what she wants is to fuck you senseless.

After one last kiss, Bada pulls up your dress off of you before throwing it to the passenger seat. She then stops for a while, being mesmerized by the work she had done on your neck and how beautiful your body is.

"So beautiful" she mutters underneath her breath, before placing her hand on your breast, massaging it while she placed your other breast on her mouth.

She started sucking your breast whilst her left hand massages the other and her right starts fingering you once again.

You are now moaning uncontrollably at how good your girlfriend makes you feel. Your hand is now gripping her hair whilst the other is underneath her shirt, leaving scratch marks unintentionally.

Bada could feel your inside spasm and your body shakes, indicating that you are closing on the edge as she thrust her fingers back in at a faster pace.

Soon enough you finally finishes on her fingers, but your girlfriend isn't nowhere done with you yet.

She then lets you lay down in a more comfortable position, before she places your legs on her shoulder, lifting your waist up closer so that she is at level with your glistening pussy.

Bada licked her lips hungrily, looking at you and waiting for your reaction while you are giving her a pleading look. You already know what she is about to do and you want her to do it already. You look back at her, filled with anticipation and lust.

Bada smirks at your pleading eyes, you look like you could cry at any time now, which she will gladly make you— make you cry in pleasure, I mean— she didn't waste time and started taking in long stripes of lick between your folds and occasionally sucking on your clit, before putting her tounge inside you.

You can't help but grind your hips to her face, as her tounge works its magic inside you. The party that you were about to attend has been long gone on both of your thoughts...

~

Meanwhile at the party...

~

Tatter has been waiting for the two of you for hours now, the other member of the leader of JustJerk wants Bada to give a share a few things about BeBe's journey for the party as a speech but their leader is nowhere to be found.

Most people are already too drunk to dance, some are even passed out already at the floor. Tatter is almost there as she had been downing beer after beer while waiting for the couple.

"Yo Tatter, any news on the two yet?" Kyma, the second most sober of all next to Tatter asks. "Not yet. Hold on, I'll try calling them again" Tatter dials Bada's number and after a few rings, Bada answers the call... or does she?

Unaware, you were actually laying down on Bada's phone the whole time and when Tatter's call reached the phone, you accidentally presses "answer" so when Tatter finally felt relieved that "Bada" finally answers the call...

---

"..oh shit Bada—nggh yes yes fuck..."

"..taste so good... so so fucking good"

"...ahhh—I'm close... Bada~~"

Tatter ended the call immediately before downing a whole glass of beer in one go. Kyma looks at Tatter who looks like she had seen a ghost.

"So what did she say? Are they coming or what" Kyma asks the traumatised girl. "Oh they are coming alright" Tatter muttered.

"What's that again?" Kyma didn't hear her clearly, but instead of answering, Tatter stayed quiet before grabbing another drink, more stronger than the last one.

~

You both arrived later than you expected but the party wasn't over yet. You first saw Tatter alone at a table, looking off so the both of you approached her.

"Hey Tatter, sorry we're late... we just got stuck in a traffic" Bada puts out a lame excuse, but Tatter just looks at her with a traumatised look, before drinking another glass.

"Yeah sure...traffic... by the way, you missed a spot" Tatter looks at you and pointed out to your neck that has a hickey that you missed when you were putting concealer on it. You become a blushing mess and let's just say from that day forward, Tatter has been left with a quite traumatic memory from the two of you.

A/n: Tatter, my poor baby... anyway I hope you liked this, my requests are open! Please note that this is a work of fiction and should not be taken serious, most of the characters mentioned in my story are real people but their character in this story does not reflect who they truly are in person. Learn to seperate reality from fantasy.

Join my taglist!! Request are open!!

[lixzey]

Letters

a/n: PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION ‼️‼️‼️This has very detailed scenes which may not be suitable for everyone. The last four letters will be the same, so heads up!

warnings: mentions of panic attacks, fighting, mention of a gun, slightly detailed murder, mention of a lot of blood, police officers, ambulances, implied post-traumatic stress disorder, trauma, and foster homes

The Fourteenth Letter

As soon as the plane landed, Timothée quickly made his way off of the plane—he was practically pushing through passengers just so he could make his way out—he had no time left to lose; he needed to find Y/n as soon as possible. Timothée was, without a doubt, scared. He wasn’t sure what would be waiting for him at the address he had in his hands.

What if he had the wrong address? What if the place was long gone? What if….Timothée couldn’t even bear to think about the worst-case scenario—even if it was possible. What if’s and maybe’s were scattered throughout his mind. Timothée wanted to think positively—that she was alright, safe, and sound at least—but those negative thoughts were inevitable, given the contents of Y/n’s letters.

Timothée sighed, running a shaky hand through his curls as he strolled to the airport’s exit. His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest as he scanned the area for the car his manager had arranged for him, his mind racing with all the possibilities of what could be. 

When he finally spotted his ride, Timothée stepped in and gave the driver the address, urging the driver to drive as fast as he legally could. The driver looked at him skeptically, eyebrows knitted in confusion, but nonetheless did as Timothée asked. As the car weaved through the crowded city streets, Timothée’s phone rang all of a sudden. The young actor sighed, picking up the call.

“Timmy, darling?” His mother’s voice spoke from the other line. “Where are you?” 

“I’m on my way to a friend's,” Timothée lied, staring out of the car window. 

“Oh, alright,” Nicole hummed, though Timothée felt like his mother knew that he was lying. “Anyway, there was a young woman looking for you just fifteen minutes ago.” 

Timothée’s brows knitted in confusion. “Looking for me? Who was it?”

“I didn’t catch her name, but she left a letter.”

Timothée’s eyes widened slightly at the mention of a letter. “A letter?” 

“Yes, a letter,” Nicole confirmed. “Like the last time.”

“The last time?”

“A basket of letters. Did you receive them?” Nicole asked. “I asked Pauline to drop it off at the hotel you were staying at in Paris, since she was going the same way.”

“Oh,” Timothée said, gaping at the realization. The letters were delivered to his childhood home, and his mother asked his sister to drop them off. But who delivered the letters? Was it Y/n? “Who delivered the basket, Mom?” 

“The basket was left on our doorstep, sweetheart,” Nicole replied, sending shivers down Timothée's spine.

It was possible that it was Y/n who delivered the letters, but she sent them. She had mentioned in a letter before that she had used all of her extra money for stamps and such, meaning she had sent them in the mail. How the hell did the letters get compiled? Who the hell sent them to him, if not Y/n? Why the fuck were the letters delivered too damn late?

Finally, the car pulled up to the address he had scribbled on a crumpled piece of paper, snapping Timothée out of his daze. He quickly thanked the driver and stepped out onto the bustling sidewalk, his eyes scanning the old run-down building with a large signage with Oregon Sweet Angels Children’s Home written in peeling red paint on a fading yellow background.

Timothée took a step closer, peeking through the boarded windows for a sign of Y/n—or maybe a glimpse of what was inside, of old photos hanging on the walls, or if there was anything else left that could lead him to her, as it was obvious that the children’s home was long forgotten. 

The actor sighed as he sat on the steps of the old building, disappointed at the fact that he had traveled forty hours for nothing. Maybe it was stupid of him to assume that he could find her; he had received the letters too late.

Taking a deep breath, Timothée fished the fourteenth letter from his pocket. “Fourteenth, four more left.”

August 15, 2023

Dear Timothée, 

I just had a panic attack. I haven’t had a panic attack this bad since……

I heard a loud, echoing gunshot from outside of my apartment, and I just froze in place. I couldn't move, couldn't breathe, and couldn’t think. Because a gunshot tossed me back into the system for the remaining years of my childhood—if I could even call that a childhood.

It was the summer before I started high school.

My aunt still treated me like shit, the bare minimum, and all that. CPS still came by every week, making sure I was happy—I wasn’t—and healthy. It was annoying to act like I was okay, that everything was alright, and that there wasn't anything wrong when clearly there was. But who was I to complain? I was the orphan forced to be raised against the only family I had left's will. In everyone else's eyes, I was happy and loved. But not one of them bothered to look behind the damn curtains.

I constantly stayed in my room, making sure the door was locked and my headphones were right beside my bed.

Why, you ask?

It's because my aunt brought home a man, her fiancé; let's call him Leo. 

It's not that I didn't like Leo—he was kind, he always gave me books, and we'd bond over our shared love for literature—but they always fought. It wasn't like normal fights; they would yell, they would scream, and it involved a lot of hitting and breaking things—courtesy of my aunt, I suppose, because she was the only unhinged person I've ever known. Their fights would always revolve around cheating; my aunt constantly accused Leo of cheating when he didn't. He was loyal, even though my aunt wasn't the best pea in the pod. Leo loved her, but my aunt kept on looking past that, always believing things he wasn't even capable of doing.

I was honestly scared that Leo would one day realize that my aunt was not the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Leo was like a second father to me; he said he sees me as his own and that he'd love to adopt me once he and my aunt got married.

But all that never happened. 

I was sitting in my room, reading peacefully, when I heard them fighting again. At first, I didn’t pay much attention to it because their fighting was practically normal at that point, and I was used to it by then. I shook it off to the side and put my headphones on, but before I even got to play the song from my playlist, I heard a loud, deafening echo of a gunshot from the living room downstairs. I quickly got up; my ears were ringing and my vision blurred as I held the doorknob, opening it with shaking hands. I stepped out of my room, slowly creeping down the stairs, peeking over the railings.

The first thing I saw was Leo.

Lying in a pool of his own blood, slowly dying.

I stood there, frozen. The sight of the wound on the left side of his chest, where the bullet pierced through, sucked the air right out of my lungs. The white Persian rug underneath Leo’s pale and lifeless body absorbed the blood, staining it completely and making my mind blank out. All I could hear was the loud firing of the gun, taking Leo’s life in an instant, that easily.

My aunt stood there, the gun still in her shaking hands, as she stared down at her fiancé’s body, realizing what she had just done was not reversible. She didn’t notice me approaching Leo’s body. I wanted to scream at her; I wanted to charge at her and hit her again and again for killing the only person I had left who cared and loved me after I lost everything that I’ve ever known. But I just stood there as tears flowed down my cheeks, feeling hollow and broken inside—the first time I ever felt that way. After what felt like an eternity, my aunt finally looked up at me—the gun against her forehead—and before I could utter a word, she fired the gun, taking her own life just as easily as she took Leo’s.

I fell onto my knees as the ringing of the gunshot replayed again and again in my ears like a fucking merry-go-round, choking out sobs as I stared at the lifeless bodies in front of me. I didn’t know what to do. Again, I wanted to scream and shout, but nothing came out of my throat other than raspy breaths. I knelt there like an idiot for what felt like forever, wondering what I did to fucking deserve this. How the fuck could anyone hurt a little kid? 

Eventually, I grabbed the phone—Leo’s phone—from the coffee table and dialed 911 with my hands shaking. A little while later, the police and ambulances arrived, and immediately one of the RMTs rushed towards me. I was still kneeling in front of Leo’s body, so the RMT wrapped me in her arms and slowly escorted me out to one of the ambulances. I was shaking and sweating while one of the police officers who responded asked me questions about what happened.

I couldn’t.

I couldn’t. 

The scene kept replaying itself again and again. I just kept on crying silently, until the RMT who took me out of the house said it was better to take me to the hospital first to recover from the trauma, and a psychiatrist would be better given what I had to witness. I just sat there until I saw bodies getting loaded into the other two ambulances—Leo and my sorry excuse for an aunt’s bodies—in black body bags. I never, ever expected that I’d see someone I loved die in front of my eyes again. First my parents, then Leo.

I was then whisked away to the nearest hospital. The hospital where I woke up three years prior. I was back to square one, now a literal orphan. No more family. 

I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. I spent a week in the hospital, crying and crying again and again until I ran out of tears. Psychiatrists, therapists, nurses, and doctors all tried to help me open up, but none of them were ever successful.

After my stay at the hospital, I was thrown into foster care—Oregon Sweet Angels Children’s Home—for good this time. I spent my first few days stuck in bed; I didn’t have the energy to mingle with the other kids my age—I was thirteen, turning fourteen in a few months at that time—no one wants a broken girl for a friend, and it’s sure as hell that no one wants to adopt a teen who has nightmares each and every goddamn night.

Now, the trauma’s haunting me. Every fucking time, and this one isn’t all of it.

I’m all alone now. 

My parents died, Leo got murdered, Ava moved out, and Julie’s moved to another state. Who do I have left now, Timmy? Do I have you? I'm scared that everyone I’ll love will leave me. You weren’t even mine to begin with, but I’m still scared to lose you. 

I've been praying again and again for somebody to save me—a knight in shining armor, for all I care—but no one’s been heroic enough. All that I did to try to undo it, all of my pain, and all their excuses. I was a kid, but I wasn't fucking clueless. At eleven, I understood that someone who loves you wouldn't do any of this. All of my past, I tried to erase it. But now I see, would I even change it?

What was I fucking made for?

All my love, 

Y/n

Timothée felt his heart clench, tears pricking his eyes, threatening to fall as he finished reading the fourteenth letter. Y/n had been through so much, so fucking much. She was just a little girl—a little girl who had already gone through hell and back again and again. Timothée felt his stomach twist with guilt, even though it wasn’t his fault.

Or was it?

Had he received all of her letters earlier, Timothée would've reached out to her sooner. She had been so alone and traumatized for years, living through a nightmare that a child should never have to experience. Timothée pressed the letter to his chest, wiping away the tears that had fallen down his cheeks with one hand. He stood up, tucking the letter back in its envelope and putting it back in his pocket. 

Timothée took a deep breath, turning around to take one last look at the children’s home—the place where Y/n spent four years of her life alone—before making his way back to the car that was waiting for him.

He wasn’t going to give up. He was going to find Y/n, he was going to be the hero she desperately needed, and he wasn’t going to stop until he did.

@helens3amstuff @gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @lovemelikecrazyiloveyoucrazy @tchalamss @ashlynnmalfoy @crazycat-ladys-blog @michakune @mxltifxnd0m @spencerr3idd @dangelnleif @sthkate @ferrjulie @imnotoverlyobsessive @mel-vaz @zunin-msty @lovely-maryj @meowmeowmau @bobthe-turmpetman29 @saintcosette @ashisabitgay @ladyladybuggg @nyrasunderwrld @remussbitch @jadahxx @starrystormwritings @ell0ra-br3kk3r @dreary-salem @drewsandsebastianswife @greenapplegrass @lilianelena39 @haybellewrites @cloudlst @si4ana @ev3ningrain @ttulipwritezz @lilmaymayy @bullets-from-another-dimension @siriuslycaptainofthedawntreader @reg-arcturus-black @marina468 @3stelar @timhalamet @st4rf00k3r @idli-dosa @jimins15thhair @blacksgarden @loving-and-dreaming @thefriendlyneighborhoodmomfriend

[footballerimaginess]

Faking It

credit to @christian-pulisic for the gif x 

Chapter Seven  Word Count: 838  Once the date was over, you watched on as Mason paid the bill.  “Mase, you didn’t need to do that? I am paying next time” you demanded.  “There’ll be a next time huh? Hmm okay” he smirked. 

“Well I suppose there would be a next one seeing as we just announced us as official. Shit, that sounds weird right? we are official but really we aren’t” you shrugged as you put your coat on to head outside.  “But that’s okay, guess we just keep it a secret for now and forever” he smiled.  “If you say so” you teased as you headed to the car as you headed off home.  As you turned your phone on, the amount of notifications that were coming through was absolutely insane.  “Fuck, someone is popularrrr” Mason cheekily stuck his tongue out.  “Shut it, it is your fault though” you rolled your eyes as you were reading through them as the text messages from your friends were coming in.  “Shit” you mumbled as you read one of the texts.  “Nice to know you have a boyfriend and you can’t even fucking tell us. Some friend you are!!!” you let out a loud sigh as Mason turned to you.  “What’s up?” he asked as you shook your head.  “Just my friend saw the post, didn’t go down very well” you shrugged.  “Sorry about that” He smiled as he grabbed your thigh. “It is fine, guess people are going to be pissed off right. But I don’t know how I feel Mase. I I just- don’t want this” you felt your heart hurting that you had manged to hurt people that you loved the most.  The ride home was silent, you weren’t in the mood to try and attempt to make any conversations as you knew you would just get pissed off with him for trying to be nice when in reality this was all him.  If you hadn’t have agreed to this, it would be okay. But it wasn’t now.  “Thanks” you shouted as you jumped out of the car and headed in as you heard someone walk out from a car, slamming the door behind them.  “Oh so you are with him then?” you jumped as you looked at the figure coming from the darkness.  “You scared me” you laughed as you put your key fob to the door.  “Why lie to us?” she asked you with a disgruntled face.  “I didn’t lie, there is nothing going on with us” you hesitated.  “Oh fuck off, don’t stand there and bullshit me. I have been your best friend for 10 years and you are standing there lying to me. Don’t do this” she shouted, the first time she had ever really been angry with you.  “I can’t explain what is going on, I am not standing here arguing with you. I don’t need this, so please let me go in” you bluntly replied, knowing this wasn’t the reply that she wanted at all.  You ignored the calls of your name as you just wanted to be inside and forget that this even happened.  - The next few days had passed and you were getting back into work.  Nobody had spoken to you about the whole Mason post, your friends were ignoring your every move too which hurt, but you understood why.  “Hi” you mumbled as you opened up the door to find Mason standing at your flat door.  “You’ve been ignoring me all week, why? I know you are in a mood. But no need to take it out on me” you rolled your eyes as you let him in.  “Sorry Mase, all my friends are pissed off with me because of this. I hate it Mase, I don’t need this. I don’t like this whole situation” you heavily sighed as he pressed a kiss on the top of your head.  As you leaned in, he placed his thumb onto your chin as he lifted it up to place a kiss on your lips.  You laughed into the kiss as Mason pulled away from you.  “What was that for?” you whispered as you walked away to go to the kitchen.  “You know why” he looked at you as a big smile appeared on his face.  “Oh do I?” you smirked as he wrapped his hands around your waist.  “You are not helping me here, I want to get this finished and get dinner ready” you replied.  “Can I stay here? Or give me a tour? Let me see the bedroom” he winked as you span around on your heels taking you by surprise.  “Who is that photo of?” he pointed out as he walked into the bedroom.  “What the fuck?- I recognise him. y/n” you turned around and saw the photo that he was holding.  “What?” you looked at him as you loudly gulped knowing exactly the photo he was looking at.  “That’s my fucking team mate, what is this? you’ve been lying to me” Mason raised his voice.  “I can explain....” you mumbled.  Taglist: @footballffbarbiex @odegaardsreds @football-and-fanfics @percervall @shannon-jade-99​ please let me know if you would like to be tagged x 

[omgsquee2001]

Chapter 4: The Weirdo on Maple Street: Part 2

~~~

//TW: Mentions of Suicide//

~~~

Mike, having left school earlier, rode up to his house to visit El. Mike and El came up from the basement. Since there was no one home, Mike figured it would be fine in they came upstairs. They walked into the kitchen, El looking around curiously at everything. 

“You want anything to drink? We have OJ, skim milk. What else?” Mike asked himself, opening the fridge and looking inside. El walked out of the kitchen and stopped at the living room. The first thing she saw was the television. Mike joined her, standing at the TV. “Oh, this is my living room. It’s mostly just for watching TV. Nice right?” Mike started getting really excited talking about the TV. “It’s a twenty-two inch. That’s like ten-times bigger than Dustin’s.” Mike said, smiling.  El walked away, not interesting in the TV and continued checking out the rest of the living room. She walked towards the fireplace mantel and saw a bunch of family photos.  Mike, Nancy and [Y/N]’s school pictures. A professionally taken photo of Holly when she was six months old. A family photo. Another picture of Holly at 1 years old. El smiled slightly at Nancy and [Y/N]’s pictures. 

“Pretty.” El said, looking at Nancy. Mike made a face. 

“I guess. That’s my sister, Nancy.” He said. El looked at [Y/N]’s picture and her eyes widened slightly. She looked just like Thirteen. [e/c] eyes, [s/c] skin. The only thing that was different, was her hair. Thirteen had her hair shaved when she first came to the lab, just like El’s. El pointed to the picture. 

“Thirteen.” El said. Mike looked at [Y/N]’s picture. Mike shook his head. 

“No, sorry. That’s not your friend. That’s my other sister, [Y/N]. She was adopted when she was ten.” Mike explained. El looked at Mike and shook her head. She pointed to [Y/N]. 

“Thirteen. Friend.” El said. El pointed to her head. Mike frowned in confusion. 

“Wait, you mean that [Y/N] was like you before she was adopted?” He asked. El nodded. 

“Yes.” She said. She pointed to the number eleven on the inside of her wrist. “Number.” El said. Mike blinked. 

“You mean, [Y/N] also has a number on her wrist?” He asked. El nodded. 

“Yes.” She said. Mike’s eyes widened. 

“Then, if she’s Thirteen, that means she can help you!” He said. He rushed over to the phone and was going to call [Y/N], but El walked over and placed her hand on his, stopping him. “What? Why are you stopping me? We have to let [Y/N] know so she can help you.” Mike said. El shook her head. 

“No.” She said. Mike frowned in realization. 

“Are the same bad people after her?” He asked. El nodded. 

“Yes.” She said. Mike sighed and hung up the phone. All of the sudden, they heard a car pull up. Mike gasped and looked out the window. [Y/N] was home in Eddie’s car. 

“I’ll be back in a sec.” [Y/N’ said, walking up to the house. Mike turned to El. 

“We gotta go.” Mike said urgently. Mike grabbed El by the wrist. Mike was hoping to hide El before [Y/N] came in, but it was too late. [Y/N] was already unlocking the door and walking in. Mike and El turned and ran back up the stairs. [Y/N] opened the fridge to get her lunch, which she had forgotten at the house, hence why Eddie was giving her a ride. [Y/N] froze, hearing the stomping. She turned. 

“Mom? Dad? Is that you?” [Y/N] called, closing the fridge door and looking around. Karen wasn’t supposed to come back for another hour.. Still ‘dragging’ El by the wrist, and rushing back to his room, Mike called back, 

“Just me, [Y/N]!” Mike called. [Y/N[ frowned in confusion. 

“Mike? What are you doing home?” [Y/N] asked, walking over to where she heard Mike. 

“One second!” Mike called. He and El rushed through his bedroom door. Mike quickly closed the door behind him. El was expressionless, but clearly scared. Mike opened the closet door. “In here. I’ll be right back, okay?” Mike said. El didn’t budge. Mike sighed. “Please, you have to get in, or my sister, she’ll find you. Do you understand?” Mike asked. El stared blankly. “I won’t tell her about you, not yet. I promise.” Mike said. El blinked in confusion. 

“Promise?” She asked, not knowing what the word was. 

“It means something that you can’t break. Ever.” Mike explained. [Y/N] was still looking around, wanting to know why her brother was home. 

“Michael?” [Y/N] called. Mike looked at El in desperation. 

“Please.” Mike pleaded. El looked nervously at Mike, then to the closet space, she finally gives in. She stepped into the closet. Mike quickly closed the door, making the room go dark. El looked around the room, terrified. Her breathing became rapid and shallow. She took a step back; looking around. She closed her eyes, tears falling. 

~~~

Two orderlies, both male, were forcefully carrying El, one on each arm, to an Isolation Cell. This was her punishment. Thirteen had been taken to an Isolation Cell just hours before. El, wearing only a hospital gown, was struggling, but she was no match for the enforcers. Her feet aren’t even touching the ground. 

“Papa!” El cried out to an older man in a black suit. The man did nothing to help her. The man just supervised  the incarceration, but neither says nor does anything. “Papa!” El cried, now sobbing. The Orderlies do their job without emotion. “No! Papa!” El shouted. The two Orderlies threw El into the Isolation Cell and closed the door.  The cell was similar to that of a jail cell, except, this cell was smaller. 6-square feet. No windows, no toilet, no bed. The solid steel door doesn’t have a window either. The walls were painted mud brown. There was no handle on the inside. No way to even try to unlock the door. El rushed to the door, banging on it with an open palm. “Papa!” El shouted, now using two hands to bang on the door. El was sobbing. It was no use. El walked to the back of the small room and cowered in the corner, sobbing. It was dark. 

“Eleven.” She suddenly heard a familiar voice. El looked up in slight shock. “Eleven.” The voice said again. El looked around the room. 

“Thirteen?” El asked. 

“Yes.” The voice of Thirteen responded, monotone. “Here. Not afraid.” Thirteen said. El closed her eyes and sobbed. Though Thirteen was speaking to her in her mind, El could still feel the soothing presence of her friend around her. “Here. Not leaving.” Thirteen soothed.

~~~~

Mike was sitting on the couch along with [Y/N], her arms are crossed. She had told Eddie to head back to school, asking him to tell the teachers that she wasn’t feeling good. Mike looked upset, like he was going to be reprimanded. 

“I just,” Mike looked at his sister. “I don’t feel good. I woke up and my head, it really hurt bad, and my throat was all scratchy, and I wanted to tell you, or mom, but the last time I told mom I was sick she made me go to school anyway, and, I-I didn’t want you telling mom,”   

“Mike,” [Y/N] said, cutting Mike off. He looked at [Y/N]. 

“Yeah?” He asked. [Y/N] sighed and smiled. 

“I’m not mad at you. And I’m not going to tell mom.” She said. Mike looked at her in surprise. Though he knew that [Y/N] had always covered for him, he had the keep up the act. 

“No?” Mike asked in mock surprise. [Y/N] smiled. 

“No, of course not.” She sighed and sat closer to Mike. “All this that’s been going on with Will, I can’t imagine what it’s been like for you.” [Y/N] said, looking at her brother. She paused for a moment. “I just, I want you to feel like you can talk to me. I never want you to feel like you have to hide anything from me. I’m here for you. Okay?” [Y/N] said, placing a comforting hand on Mike’s shoulder. Mike smiled and nodded. Suddenly, there was an audible thud that came from upstairs. [Y/N] frowned in confusion. “Is there someone else here?” She asked. Mike shook his head, pretending to be oblivious. 

“No.” He said. 

After [Y/N] and Mike’s talk, [Y/N] went into her room to work on some homework, and Mike went into his room, telling her that he needed some rest. Mike quickly opened the door to his room, walked in, then closed the door behind him and locked it. He walked over to the closet. 

“Eleven? Is everything okay.” He asked. He rushed over to the closet, not hearing any answer. “El?” Mike called again. He opened the door. El looked up from cowering, she was still crying. 

“Mike.” El said, her voice weak from crying. Mike knelt down in concern. 

“Is everything okay?” He asked. El nodded, despite not being okay. 

“Are you sure?” Mike asked. El put on a brave face, and with a slight smile. 

“Promise.” El said.    

~~~~ The search party for Will was at Sattler Quarry. While Officer Powell lead the volunteers, Chief Hopper and Officer Callahan were close to the edge of the cliff talking. Callahan creeped closer to the edge and looked down. 

“Whoa, whoa. I need you alive for the next few days, at least.” Hopper said, pulling Callahan away from the edge. They could hear the volunteers calling Will’s name. Callahan looked down at the lake. 

“Oh, hell. I can survive that.” He said. Hopper scoffed, laughing. Callahan looked at Hopper. “What? George Burnes made the jump. And he was drunk as a skunk. He did it on a ten-dollar bet.” Callahan said. Hopper shook his head. 

“George is a liar. You make that jump from this height, that water turns into cement,” Hopper slapped his hands together for demonstration. “Hit’s you like a ton of bricks. Break every damn bone in your body.” Hopper said. Callahan thought about it for a moment, then denied it. 

“Nah.”

Suddenly, Hopper’s walkie talkie radioed. HOPPER’S WALKIE TALKIE COMES 

Chief, you copy? It was Flo, Hopper’s secretary. Hopper grabbed his walkie from his utility belt and held it up to his lips, pressing the button. 

“Yeah, Flo, talk to me.” Hopper responded, letting go of the button. 

Hey, Chief, we got a call from over at Benny’s. I think you need to get there right away. Flo said, her voice sounded urgent, almost sad. 

Powell stepped out if his squad car and headed to the entrance of Benny’s. Paramedics, Firefighters and police officers were already on the scene. Hopper arrived and stepped out of his truck. He, Powell and Callahan headed for the door.  Hopper entered first, followed by Callahan then Powell. They immediately see Benny’s body at a table. He was hunched over, head resting on the table. Dried blood was forming around a bullet wound in his right temple. Benny’s right hand rested on a black revolver, his index finger on the trigger. Flies were buzzing around his corpse. Callahan scrunched his face up in disgust, gagging at the smell of the decomposing body. 

“Ugh, Jesus!” Callahan coughed, covering his nose. Hopper walked around to the other side of the table, but kept his distance. Hopper stared in disbelief and anger. Powell looked at the chief. 

“Suicide?” Powell asked. Hopper hummed. He was skeptical. 

“Missing kid, suicide. You must feel like a big city cop again, huh, Chief?” Callahan said. Hopper sighed and continued to look at the body. 

“Well, I mostly dealt with strangers back then.” Hopper paused. Sadness now taking over, though he didn’t show it. “Benny was my friend.” Hopper said. 

~~~~

Lucas and Dustin shut the door behind them. They stared at El, who was sitting, cross-legged, on Mike’s bed. Lucas looked at Mike like he was insane. 

“Are you out of your mind?” Lucas asked. Mike held up his hands in surrender.

“Just listen to me.” Mike said. Lucas looked angry now. 

“You are out of your mind!” He shouted. Mike gestured to El. 

“She knows about Will.” Mike said. Dustin looked at his friend in confusion. 

“What do you mean she knows about Will?” He asked. Mike walked to the bookshelf and picked up the science fair photo. Mike pointed to the picture. 

“She pointed at him, at this picture. She knew he was missing. I could tell.” Mike said.  Lucas looked at Mike, confused. 

“You could tell?” Lucas copied, obviously not buying it. Mike sighed. 

“Just think about it. Do you really think it was a coincidence that we found her on Mirkwood, the same place where Will disappeared?” Mike asked. Dustin looked at Lucas, a shocked expression on his face.

“That is weird.” He said. 

“And she said bad people are after her. I think maybe these bad people are the same ones that took Will,” he said. He sighed. He looked at El. “I, I think that they’re also coming after [Y/N].” Mike said Lucas frowned and waved his hands. 

 “Woah, woah. You think bad people are coming after your sister? Why what the hell did she do?” He asked. Mike looked at Lucas and Dustin.

“El said that [Y/N] used to be like her. Shaved head and everything. She said that [Y/N] has a tattoo of a number thirteen on the inside of her left wrist.” Mike said. Dustin frowned. 

“What? I’ve known your sister for a long time, and I’ve never seen a tattoo on the inside of her wrist.” Dustin said. Lucas nodded. 

“Exactly. How do we know this girl isn’t just bullshitting us?” Lucas asked. Mike looked at them. 

“When has [Y/N] ever shown you the inside of her left wrist? She always wears long sleeve shirts or covers her wrist up with make up. I saw her do it once.” He said. Dustin nodded. 

“Actually, now that you mention it, [Y/N] never has shown us her wrist.” He said. Lucas rolled her eyes. 

“Oh come on. She might just be trying to hide an embarrassing birthmark or something.” Lucas said. Mike sighed. 

“That’s not the point though! The point is,” he looked back at El, who looked at Mike, clearly confused. “I think they both know what happened to him.” Mike said. Lucas was getting more frustrated. 

“Then why doesn’t she tell us?” Lucas asked. He walked up to El, confronting her. “Do you know where he is?” Lucas demanded. He grabbed El by the shoulders, his face inches from her’s. “DO YOU KNOW WHERE WILL IS!?” Lucas shouted. Mike pushed Lucas away. 

“Stop it, you’re scaring her!” Mike accused. Lucas turned to look at Mike. 

“She should be scared!” Lucas shouted. He turned to El. “If you know where he is, tell us!” Lucas shouted. El was starting to cry. Lucas walked to Mike. “This is nuts! We have to take her to your mom. Or bring her to [Y/N] if you’re so sure that she’s this so called, Thirteen.” Lucas said. Mike looked at him. 

“No! Eleven said telling any adult would put us in danger. And she doesn’t want to talk to [Y/N]. Not yet.” He said.  Dustin looked at Mike. 

“What kind of danger?” Dustin asked. 

“Her name is Eleven?” Lucas said to Dustin, mocking. Mike looked at Lucas. 

“El for short.” He said. 

“Mike, what kind of danger?” Dustin asked, raising his voice. Mike looked at Dustin and Lucas. 

“DANGER danger.” Mike said. To prove his point, Mike make a finger gun and aimed it between Dustin’s eyes. Dustin’s eyes widened in realization. He then did the same to Lucas. Lucas scoffed and batted Mike’s hand away. 

“No, no, no! We’re going back to Plan A. We’re telling your mom.” Lucas said. He rushed to the door and opened it. Suddenly, the door slammed shut, making everyone jump. Lucas opened it again, but it slammed shut. The lock to Mike’s room turned, locking them in. The boys turned in unison, and looked at El. She was now standing, glaring at Lucas. Blood dripped from her left nostril. 

“No.” El said, now very serious. 

~~~~ Hopper and Callahan were chatting with Earl, who was in his fifties at the police station. Callahan was sitting, casually, on the edge of a nearby desk. Hopper was sitting in a chair opposite Earl, who was sitting on a padded bench along the wall. Earl struggled to light a cigarette, his hands shaking. Earl shook his head. 

“Just doesn’t make and sense, Chief.” Earl said. He was clearly torn up about Benny’s death. Hopper used his own lighter to light Earl’s smoke. Earl nodded in thanks. 

“You, uh, notice anything odd about him in the last few weeks?” Hopper asked. Earl took a long inhale of the cigarette, and blew out, shaking his head. 

“No, we were fixin’ to go fishing down the Etowah next Sunday.” Earl said. Earl took another inhale of the smoke. “I mean, he was looking forward to it. I know that.” Earl said. Hopper leaned forward. 

“He got any enemies you might know about? I mean people who might not want him around?” Hopper asked. Earl exhaled, the smoke wafting through the room. Earl shrugged. 

“The exes didn’t like him much. That’s for sure, but,  nah.” Earl said. Hopper sighed. 

“When was the last time you saw him?” Hopper asked. Earl looked at the Chief. 

“Yesterday. Lunch, same as always.” Earl said. 

“Just you and the boys?” Hopper asked. Earl nodded. 

“Yep,” he sighed. “Me and Henry and,” Earl paused and sighed, thinking about who else would have been there that day. “Well, there’s this kid,” Earl immediately shook his head. “No kid did this.” Earl said. Hopper frowned. 

“Kid?” He paused. “What are you talking about?” He asked. Earl nodded. 

“Yeah, at lunch. There was this boy that, uh, I mean he was trying to steal food out of Benny’s kitchen,” Earl chuckled. “Can you imagine that?” Earl said. Hopper looked to Callahan. Callahan stood from the desk and walked over to his own desk. Hopper looked back at Earl. 

“This kid? What’d he look like?” Hopper asked. Earl sighed and raised his arm to about eyelevel.

“Well, he’s about yea high. You know, tiny like.” Earl shook his head. “I didn’t get a good look at him, though. He was back in the kitchen.” Earl said. Callahan returned with a Missing Persons poster of Will Byers. Callahan held the poster out to Earl. 

“Did he look like this?” Callahan asked. Earl took the poster and looked it over for a moment, then shook his head. 

“No, no. That’s Lonnie’s missin’ kid.” Earl gave the poster back to Callahan. “This one had really short hair. I mean, it was buzzed nearly down to the scalp.” Earl said. Hopper nodded. 

“Yeah, well, let’s, you know, let’s forget about the haircut. I mean, if,” Hopper stood, holding the poster. “I mean, if this kid had a buzz cut, could it be Lonnie’s kid?” Hopper asked, looking at Earl. Earl sighed and shrugged. 

“Well, I didn’t get a good look at him. About the right height, though. I mean, could’ve been.” Earl said. “Y-Yeah, that’s, could’ve been.” Earl said, taking another inhale of the smoke. Hopper nodded, but more for the sake of nodding rather than agreeing with Earl. Neither man was convinced.

~~~~

Back at the Wheeler house, Nancy was on her bed lying on her back, playing with her hair, and talking on the phone to Barb. Music was playing on the radio. Nancy sighed. 

“Because I don’t want to go by myself.” Nancy said. She sighed as she sat up, listening to Barb. Nancy sighed again and laughed a little bit. “Barb. Barb, it’s not rocket science. You just tell your parents you’re gonna stay at my place afterwards.” Nancy said. She paused, listening to what Barb had to say. “No, tell them we’re, studying.” Nancy said. 

“Nancy! Dinner!” Karen called from the kitchen. Nancy turned to her closed door, holding the phone against her chest to dull the noise. 

“Coming!” Nancy shouted. She put the phone back to her ear, sighing. “Look, I gotta go. I’ll see you in an hour.” Nancy said. With a smile, she hung up.

[Y/N] glanced around awkwardly.  Karen, Holly, who was in a high chair, Nancy, Mike, Dustin, Lucas, [Y/N] and Ted were all siting around the dinning room table. The atmosphere was tense and there was no conversation.  Mike, Dustin and Lucas seemed preoccupied, lost in thought. Lucas looked disinterested, his fork stuck in the meatloaf. Karen looked at the two friends and her son. 

“Something wrong with the meatloaf?” She asked. Dustin broke out of his thoughts and smiled politely. 

“Ah, no, I had two bologna sandwiches for lunch.” Nancy and [Y/N] lifted their eyebrows in confusion at the boy. Dustin shook his head and shrugged. “I don’t know why.” Dustin said. Lucas gave a fake smile and chuckled. 

“Me too.” Lucas said. Nancy looked at Karen and smiled.  

“It’s delicious, Mommy.” Nancy said. Mike rolled his eyes at her. Karen smiled at Nancy. 

“Thank you, sweetie.” Karen said. Nancy decided that now was a good time to talk to her mom. 

“So there’s this special assembly thing tonight for Will at the school field. Barb’s driving.” Nancy said. Karen’s smile fell and she looked at her children. 

“Why am I just hearing about this?” She asked. Nancy looked at her mom. 

“I thought you knew.” She said innocently. Karen sighed. 

“I told you, I don’t want you out after dark until Will is found.” Karen said. She looked at [Y/N]. “That goes for you to, [Y/N]. Until Will is found, I don’t want you hanging out with Eddie.” She said. [Y/N] nodded. 

“Yes mom.” She said. Nancy sighed. 

“I know, I know, but it’d be super weird if I’m not there. I mean, everyone’s going.” Nancy said. [Y/N] sighed and rolled her eyes. She knew that Nancy wanted a chance to hang out with Steve. Karen sighed and nodded. 

“Just, be back by ten.” Karen said. Nancy smiled and nodded. Karen then looked at Nancy. “Why don’t you take the boys, and your sister, to.” Karen said. Mike, Dustin and Lucas’s eyes all widened. 

“No!” They shouted, startling everyone. Mike casually took a sip from his glass of milk. Karen frowned and looked at Mike and the boys. 

“Don’t you think you should be there? For Will?” Karen asked. Before Mike could respond, he looked behind his mom and paled. El comes walking down the stairs, behind Karen. Mike saw El, then spit out his milk into his cup in shock. Karen turned to see what was behind her. As a distraction, Dustin pounded on the table twice. The dishes, forks and knives clattered Startled, Karen turned around to look at Dustin. Dustin smiled apologetically. 

“Sorry. Spasm.” Dustin said. Mike looked at the mess he’s made. Lucas looked to Mike and Dustin. Mike glanced at [Y/N]. She looked white as a sheet, like she had seen a ghost. Mike sighed. He knew that she had seen El. Holly was spooked, she slouched in her chair and was about to cry. Karen looked at Holly and started to comfort her. 

“It’s okay Holly. It’s just a loud noise.” Karen soothed. Nancy gave a sarcastic smile to the boys. 

“Nice.” She scolded. Karen looked at [Y/N] and frowned. 

“[Y/N], honey, are you okay?” She asked. [Y/N] turned her head slowly towards her mom, still trying to process what she had jus seen. Karen frowned in worry. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” She said. Tears were coming to [Y/N]’s eyes. She sniffed. 

“U-Um, I’m not feeling to good. I’m gonna go lay down.” [Y/N] said quietly. She pushed her chair back and put her napkin on her plate. She rushed out of the kitchen and up the stairs. She went into her room and closed her door. She started pacing back and forth. Her thoughts were running at the speed of light. Was that Eleven? If that was her, how did she get here? The last time [Y/N] had seen her, Eleven was still at the lab with Brenner, [Y/N] was being taken away by the Orderlies to be “disposed of”. Brenner had thought that they had killed [Y/N], but instead, she was put up for adoption, where she met Karen and Ted. [Y/N] sighed and tried to regain her thoughts. Eleven had escaped, and Will had disappeared. Something was going on in Hawkins, Indiana. And it wasn’t something good. 

~~~

//Bum, bum, bum!!! I hope you all are liking the series so far. If there’s anything that you think I could improve on, please let me know. Also, if there’s someone you would like the reader to have more interactions with, let me know in the comments. I hope you all have a wonderful day/night/afternoon.//

[ajwadqayyu-pho101]

All of Warm Ups PHO 101

This has all of Warm Ups

Week 1: 1/25/24

What?

I see 6 different images drawn on an egg shell and the egg shells are on top of a carton.

How? 

The egg has been broken in half and the images were drawn on egg shell

Why? 

To show a photo through a Ciano type

Week 2: 2/1/24

What?

I see a photo of a pool installed on a beach/shore front on a raing day.

How? 

The photo was taken by Joel Meyerowitz in 19 

Why? 

To show that even a valuable luxury setting and scene could look ugly!

Week 3: 2/8/24

What?

I see a photo of outer space taken from the moon either through a satellite and further away we see earth. 

How? 

The photo was taken from the near the moon 

Why? 

To show what our planet earth looks like from the outer space and from the moon

Put the nail cutter photo up on tumblr

Week 4: 3/15/24

What?

A picture with shades of grey with the lighter, almost white, grey towards the top.

How?

Top of a boat or a low flying small airplane.

Why?

The photographer, maybe, predicting a storm, so he is trying to capture the clam before. On the other hand, the photographer could be trying to capture the calm after the storm.

Week 5: 2/29/24

What?

A clear picture of the plant with a house porch behind it 

How? 

Through a black & white film

Why? 

To display a clear picture of front of the house and show everything can be look clear with a black & white film

Week 6: 3/7/24

What?

I see a photo of kids in a Gaza kids shelter being frightened and scared by looking at the sky.

How? 

The photo was taken from the main yard, with natural light with a wide angle lens 

Why? 

To show the trauma kids in warzone places have to go through!

Week 6: 3/14/24

What?

I see a photo of a kid laying on a field with an insect on top of his forehead.

How? 

The photo was taken in 1970 through the most advanced camera of the time which was also during the civil rights era.

Why? 

To symbolize separation or a barrier between the subject and the viewer.

Week 7: 3/21/24

What?

Photo of multiple muslim women wearing Niqab in front the beach 

How? 

Though a black & white film

Why? 

This is a documentary photograph which demonstrates how women dress following a religion in a different part of the world.

Week 8: 3/28/24

What?

I see a beach with silhouettes on it. It is black and white and it seems like low tide.

How?

Couldn't truly identify who it was taken

Why?

The waves seem a bit calm and the shadows show that it was a very sunny day out.

Week 9: 4/4/24

What?

Picture of Foods like orange , apple, carrot and a cassette tape with cars being blurred out in the background.

How?

I believed the photographer used something like a 10~50mm lens with F/2.8 aperture

Why?

Could be reminiscing about the past

Week 10: 4/11/24

What?

I see a woman and a man. It looks like the women yelling at the old man and has her fist clenched.

Why? 

He could maybe be her father or grandfather since he’s older and she’s younger.

Week 11: 4/16/24

What?

A picture of a mother with her son giving her a piggy back ride.

How?

The aperture could be a 1.4 with the back ground being blurred.

Why?

maybe the photographer wanted us to see an occurring problem in these times

Week 12: 4/23/24

What?

A male in full darkness with a small light coming from top, but it doesn't illuminate his surroundings.

How?

Could have taken this with F4, 1/500 shutter speed , and ISO 100 and -3EV

Why?

Could be the timing before a big show.

[joekeeryswife]

MORE KURT KUNKLE CONTENT WOULD BE COOL UR AMAZING

The Lesson - K.K

here you are lovely. thank you, also, who else loves feminist Kurt? absolute king honestly. also sorry but this is quite short :(

you had been living in Los Angeles for about two years. you worked as a model and the studio you modelled at was thirty minutes away from your house. you had never learned to drive for yourself, you were too scared. so your days to and from work consisted of Ubers and Spree socials. you didn’t really mind though, the drivers never really made conversation which you were grateful for, who would want to have a conversation with someone they don’t know?

it was 10 o’clock at night. you had just finished modelling for a new brand which became famous pretty fast so you jumped at the opportunity to model for them. you went onto Spree social and requested a ride to your apartment. very quickly, a boy named ‘Kurt’ accepted your request and was to you in less than five minutes. “are you Kurt?” you asked, he nodded his head and you got into the back seat of the car. it was silent for a bit before he spoke up. “i’m sorry to make this super weird but i am a huge fan of you. i was shocked to see you when i pulled up” he said, sounding anxious as he spoke. you gave him a wide smile and thanked him.

“that’s lovely of you to say. not many people who drive me around make a conversation but it was nice to hear you talk” you said, looking up from your phone. he nodded his head and carried on driving. for the majority of the ride, Kurt was talking about this thing he was planning called ‘the lesson’. to be honest you had no clue what he was saying but he said it was happening on the 12th of April. you looked at the date and saw it was the 8th of April. “only four days to go then” you said once he finally finished talking about it. “oh yeah i know. i’m so excited” he said, looking back at you in the rear view mirror. you guys were silent for a while before you spoke up. “this isn’t the way to my apartment” you said, when he turned out of the wrong exit. “oh sorry, i should have said. i got a request from someone else. i hope you don’t mind” he said, pulling up to where the new person was. the man got into the car, “hey, are you Mario?” you heard Kurt say to the man. “yes i am, drive fast please, i have a date to get to” he said, putting his seatbelt on. “wow a date at this time of night? that’s new” you said, looking at the time on your phone. “yeah well i didn’t want to meet up with her but she was begging me. i just want to have sex then leave her” Mario replied, you instantly scoffed and shook your head.

why are we, in the 21st century, and men are still talking about women like they are an object? “hey wait, i recognise you. you’re that model who’s like mega famous. can i get a photo?” Mario says, sounding excited. you looked away from him and rolled your eyes. “no thanks. i don’t take pictures with idiots” you said, looking out the window. he scoffed and ran a hand through his hair. “hey y/n, i’m going to drop you off first” you heard Kurt say, Mario opened his mouth to say something, you stopped him before he could speak up. “thank you” you said, looking at him in the rear view mirror and smiled. you and Kurt chatted for a while before Mario spoke up again. “i’m really going to need that photo. it’ll look so good on my insta feed” he said, sounding a little passive aggressive.

“and as i said, i’m really not in the mood to take a photo with an idiot who will use me for likes” you said, you heard Kurt laugh before Mario turned to him. “what are you laughing at f*ggot” you looked at him shocked, Kurt immediately quietened down. “that’s vile. why would you say something like that?” you questioned. Mario looked at you and smirked. “you have a crush on little psycho boy don’t you? he’s weird. why are you choosing him over me?” he said, reaching a hand to touch your face which you instantly slapped away. “you know, ever since you’ve gotten famous it’s gone to your head because you’re a total bitch” you heard Mario say. Kurt immediately stopped the car, you luckily knew where you were, you only had to walk for about five minutes before you were at your apartment. “out.” Kurt said sternly, turning around to Mario and pointing at the door.

“me? no way man. she’s the one being a bitch” Mario said, trying to defend himself. “you know what Kurt thank you for the ride. it was lovely meeting you. maybe we could meet up sometime?” you said, getting your bag as you opened the car door. “no wait y/n, i wasn’t stopping for you.” Kurt said, rolling down his window. “i know, it’s fine though, i live over there. how about i follow your instagram and we can chat on there?” you said, you unlocked your phone and opened instagram. “oh uhh sure, my @ is Kurtsworld96. i’ll follow you back” he said, running a hand through is hair as his face blushed a bright red colour.

“hey, could i also get a follow? my @ is mario32” you heard Mario say, you looked at him through the car window and put up your middle finger. “i’ll message you later Kurt” you said to him. “actually, could you wait some second” you carried on, looking into Kurts eyes. “uhh yeah sure.” he waited as you walked back around to Marion’s side of the car, opened the door, took out a water bottle and chucked it all over him. you slammed the door shut and walked back round to Kurt. “what the fuck man” Mario said as he wiped his face. “sorry about that.” you said to Kurt, he nodded his head and said it was fine. you kissed him on the cheek before walking away to your apartment complex.

you got into your apartment and checked you phone, you saw that Kurt had messaged you which you immediately opened. ‘hey, sorry about the guy in the car earlier. i sorted him out’ the message read. you laughed out loud before replying. ‘thank you, wanna meet up tomorrow? we could go to lunch or something?’ you said. he immediately replied with a short but sweet. ‘sure. i’ll pick you up tomorrow at around 11?’. you sent an ‘okay, see you tomorrow x’ before turning your phone off and heading to bed. there was something interesting about Kurt that intrigued you, you wanted to get to know the boy and what ‘the lesson’ actually was. least to say you were very excited for tomorrow.

[moljh]

Unbelievable / Steve Harrington x Reader

Part 3

Summary - Y/N Hargrove, the twin sister of Billy Hargrove. People liked to make their assumptions, whisper and point as you went past, but they didn’t know what happened behind closed doors. The slamming doors, raised voices and poorly hidden bruises. Hawkins was meant to be different, somehow a new start from your old life left behind in California. That’s when the headaches started, the nightmares that felt so real, the unexplainable events and blackouts.

*trigger warning - mentions of abuse*

fluff, slowburn, flashbacks, etc.

part 1 part 2

Edited: currently unedited

Tuesday, July 2

The wooden door creaked open as you quietly walked back into your empty living room. Sharon and your father were clearly somewhere for the day which was a relief as you didn't need anymore trouble added to this morning. You made your way back into your bedroom and slumped onto your unmade bed. The air was thick with humidity and you wished that you could've afforded to have a house with ceiling fans.

  You ran your tongue over your lips and frowned at the taste of the remnants of the night prior. Lifting yourself up, you made your way towards you bathroom and huffed with frustration at the bathtub that Billy hadn't been bothered to empty and was filled with used ice bags. Filtering out the wet plastic, you threw them into the trash bin and watched the water slowly drain from the blue coloured tub.

  The shower had been a welcomed cleanse, you always felt it washed you free of everything, both literal and metaphorical. The water had always been a form of comfort for you since you were little. Your mother used to take you and Billy to the beach when you lived in California, whilst Billy preferred to head out into the dark surf, you would sit on the soft sand and wade in the shallow water. You only had one photo of your mother, it was a small picture that was faded and worn on the edges. She was smiling at whoever was taking the photo and tucking her long blonde hair behind one ear. People used to comment that you two looked alike and only now as you had gotten older did you see the resemblance. You often wondered what she was doing, whether she ever thought about you and Billy and the life you have now without her. In the beginning you had both tried in desperation to call, but as time went on Billy gave up and so did you. It was only evident to you as you got older why she had left, she hadn't been able to handle with the constant berating and abuse of your father but you still couldn't understand how she could've just left her children with the man she was so scared of herself.

  You threw on a random pair of shorts and a t-shirt, not entirely sure what to do with yourself for the day. You could message one of the girls, but you weren't really in the mood for their company and the appearance you would have to muster to be in their presence. They were all fine, completely harmless but just so exhausting and constant. The loud ring of the phone pulled you from your thoughts and you waited a moment as you heard Max answering it. There was nothing for a moment and then some thuds and shuffling followed signalling that Max and her friend were getting up.

"Y/N" Max suddenly appeared in your doorway with an inquisitive look on her face "would you be able to drop El and I to Mike's house?" "Yeah sure" "Great, thanks" she smiled back at you, "ok to leave in 5 minutes?"

You nodded in response and quickly grabbed a pair of shoes. It felt nice that Max had even thought to ask you, she often just resorted to riding her bike or skateboard everything, but you supposed since she had a friend with her she probably thought you taking them would be easier. Grabbing your keys, you and the two girls made your way to the car and you began the drive to the Wheeler's house.

  "Do you guys need a ride home later?" you asked as you pulled up at the curb and they scrabbled out of the back seat "No we'll be fine, thanks y/n I'll see you back home" Max replied before quickly running off with El down the side of the Wheeler's house where they usually went off to

You let out a little sign and turned back out of the street, watching the people and houses of the neighbourhood you had grown quite familiar too. You could remember the first time you had dropped Max off here one random Halloween night where she jokingly swore she wouldn't get murdered by the strange boys she'd just met.

Wednesday, October 31 1984

School had been just another day filled with one class after another, taking notes and occasionally making conversation with whoever you were seated next to that period. Clutching your books to your chest you made your way over to your locker, which you were still trying to remember the code for, clearly evident by the numbers scrawled on the back of your hand.

  "You're the new girls right?" a girl suddenly asked appearing next to your locker "Yeah..." you replied "and you are?" "I'm Tina" she replied eagerly "I'm having a party tonight and you should definitely come" she informed you, handing over an orange piece of paper. She hovered for a few more moments and you could tell there was something else she wanted to ask you. "Is there anything else I can help you with Tina?" you remarked "Do you know if your brother is coming?" there is was, the true reason she had bothered to come and introduce herself to you, not to get to know you, but to ensure the thing that was currently at centre of all the girls desires was in fact coming to her little house party "I don't know" you replied truthfully "probably, if there's free booze, he'll definitely be there"

Tina was visibly happy with your answer as she let out a nervous giggle and trotted away. Rolling your eyes, you grabbed what you needed from your locker and slammed it shut, making your way to your next class.  

You could hear the music from the street when you arrived, clearly the party was already in full swing. Billy had left a while before you, meaning you had had to drop Max off to go trick or treating with some kids she met at school. You hadn't minded truthfully, you and Max got along fine and you preferred taking her over trusting Billy. Making your way inside the house, you enjoyed the attention you got and the eyes that followed you across the room. Your costume left little to the imagination, wearing nothing but a black leotard, cropped grey sweatshirt and legwarmers. You had decided to go as Alex Owens from Flashdance since it was the simplest outfit you could come up with one short notice. Moving through the centre of the room which had clearly been chosen as the dancefloor, you watched as your brother and his new lackies marches towards a couple that had come in moments after you. Billy's name was being chanted in the background as he confronted the other guy who was dressed in all black and sunglasses, you huffed at the basic macho faceoff between the two and went to get yourself a drink

There weren't many options, some bowl of red liquid or beer, you couldn't stand beer, so you took your luck with whatever mystery drink had been mixed together in the glass bowl in front of you. Moving to the edge of the room you looked around at the people either dancing, drinking or making out. The party was pretty dull compared to what you were used to back in California but you weren't complaining, in that moment you were looking to party too hard, having only been in Hawkins for a couple of days.

  A couple of guys tried to come up and talk to you throughout the nights, but had swiftly given up when their advances were reciprocated and moved on to easier targets. You finished the contents of your cup again, having lost count of how many times you had re-filled it. Moving back towards the source of your drink, your attention was brought upon the couple that had come in after you earlier that evening. The two of them seemed to be in some sort of argument, as a cup; the same as yours, was tussled between the two before being thrown down the front of the girl who unfortunately was wearing a white top. A audible gasp was heard throughout the room and quickly fell into a brief moment of silence, before the girl scrambled off and headed towards the bathroom. The guy, who was clearly her boyfriend quickly followed after, obviously desperate to make up for the accident.

  As everyone fell back into noise of before, you carefully watched the door that lead into the bathroom, intrigue encouraging you to watch. A couple of moments later, the guy marched out and slammed the door behind him. You knew that you shouldn't interfere but another part of you was still curious, so you placed you cup on the kitchen counter and headed outside.

  The cool October night air hit you and a shiver swept over your body. Glancing around you saw a figure perched on one of the lone patio benches off to the side, with their head hung and hands resting of his knees. He starred off in front of him as he pulled a cigarette from his pocket and you watched as he put it between his lips and set it alight.

"Hey" you said approaching him causing his head to whip around toward you, "Steve, right?" already knowing the answer "Yeah" he replied grazing his eyes up and down you "and you are?" "Y/N" you paused for a moment "can I join you?" You didn't wait for an answer before sliding in next to him. In the fresh night air, you could feel the body warmth wafting off of him and the glow from the end of the cigarette highlighted his face nicely. "Rough night?" You tried to initiate some form of conversation "Yeah... Kind of... You?" "Ah not really, just a little bored"

Steve turned to look at you and you could see something within his eyes trying to figure you out. Looking right back at him you reached up slowly and plucked the cigarette from his lips, bringing it to your own and taking a long drag. He chuckled a little at the act and took another from his pocket, allowing you to keep the one you had stolen. The two of you sat there in silence blowing the smoke out into the air. Reaching the butt of it, you flicked it to the ground and stamped it out against the concrete with the toe of your heel.

  "So Steve..." you began without fully knowing what you were going to say next "what's a nice guy like you doing sitting out here all on his lonesome?" "Technically I'm not alone, you're out here with me... and I'm pretty sure my girlfriend just broke up with me" he informed you whilst putting out his own cigarette "Well that's a shame" you said slowly, turning towards him "you seem like a pretty nice guy... handsome too"

  You gentle placed a hand on high thigh and glanced up at his face to gage his expression. You noted as he licked his lips and edged closer to you, instead of drawing away. His eyes dropped to your lips and you felt his hand slowly graze your shoulder and grip the back of your neck. He held you there for a second, as if contemplating his next move and then he pulled you in, bringing your lips to his own. You could taste the tobacco, alcohol and desperation on his lips as he wrapped his hand gripped your neck tighter, pulling you in closer. You deepened the kiss and ran your fingers through his hair pulling his head back, exposing his neck. Running your mouth down his neck, he let out a gentle moan which only made you keep going. You could feel his hands moving up your bare legs and to your surprise they weren't soft like you had expected, rather slightly calloused. In between moans and gasps one of you must have mentioned a car, because slowly you managed to climb into the back of his BMW. The windows of the car began to fog up as you both continued to roam each other is desperate exploration. As he pushed up into you, you let out a pornographic moan which caused him to quicken his pace. Gripping onto him, you ran your nails down his bare back, not caring about the marks you were likely leaving.

He was gentle and yet rough, just a perfect blend. You didn't care if anyone walked past the car, the heat within meant you couldn't see through the windows. You gripped his broad shoulders as he pressed his face into the crook of your neck and let out one final groan and pulled himself off of you. Sitting up on the back leather seats of his car, you slipped your clothes back on in silence as he did the same. Trying your best to tame your hair, you opened the car door and got out.

  “Thanks” you said bending back down into the doorway vehicle

  Steve merely looked back at you with bewilderment and confusion, and gave a slight nod. Shutting the door, you glanced back over to the house where the party was still going and smirked when you saw the enraged face of your brother standing just inside looking at you. You never felt any sort of shame when it came to sleeping around, it was the same back in California before you left. There was also a part of you however that enjoyed how much it pissed of your brother as well. He always wanted to control what you could do and who you could even talk to, so you often went out of your way to anger him. You supposed there was a time when you did truly care for one another as normal siblings do, but that hadn’t been for many years now.

[yeahimwiththeband]

-> with the band chapter 6

i’m not scared of you

A/N: dear reader, I fucked up. this is an edit of the previous chapter. if you’ve already read it, my bad - i have a new outline and have written the next six chapters, so this won’t happen again

with the band is a love on tour fanfic, slow burn harry style au. it’s like, harry from the darkest timeline in a fluffy, multi-chapter, romance about a girl with anxiety disorder falling in love for the first time. thank you so much for reading. i love any feedback, input, and criticism. this is my first story post on tumblr.

warning: angst, pining, minors DNI due to smut in the next chapter. with the band also deals with people pleasing behavior, anxiety disorder, body image issues, and codependency.

summary: izzy finally buys her own clothes. and harry is very, very worried about her. 

word count: 4.8k

Izzy was an hour early for the concert tonight, and instead of meeting Meg and Lydia in the parking lot outside, she arrived with the band in their van. They were all unloaded underground along with tons of equipment. The arena looked so bright and alien without the crowd and with all the lights on. Meg and Izzy sat on the floor in the pit  while Jess and her band set up. Lydia took photos of George from the wings. It was Saturday night and she was supposed to leave when the weekend was over with Meg. She pushed the thought of returning to her room out of her mind; she loved being around other people all the time, instead of alone living in her laptop. She loved everything about the tour.

She had changed into a different outfit, one George bought her that didn’t cut into her shoulders so much, and Meg was wearing some of her new clothes too. The boulder loomed in the back of her mind. Lydia’s words from earlier that day echoed like a car alarm: are you sleeping in his room tonight? Are you sleeping in his room tonight?

In the van on the way over, Izzy finally learned the basic facts about her new… friend? Weird groupie situation? George was her age, 23. George had been touring with Jess (the Starer) since he and Jess were 18; they went to high school together, joining band together (band!) in 9th grade. Their bandmate Olivia was a senior at the time and was now 26, maybe explaining why she was so chill, and Lisa was was Lydia’s age, just 21 (maybe explaining why she had no chill?). They had found each other in the small Vermont town where they were from, and just jumped into music. The only other person Izzy had met who were so sure what they wanted to do early on was Meg. She always knew it would be medicine; she was a physician’s assistant, just starting her first job a few months ago (she complained about it often, but she never doubted she was in the right field). Lisa shared that George had started out playing the tuba, which they all thought was hilarious and adorable. George changed the subject after that.

Harry was 28, and grew up working class in Manchester with a single mother. He didn’t tell her that - Harry never talked about himself. Izzy had to Google him.

George told Izzy that he had big plans: Jess Harper and her band were going to blow up. Opening for Harry was just the beginning. It sounded to Izzy like George had a humble beginning like hers. In his case, it was his dad worked a lot and his mom was checked out. He was often shipped off to this or that camp or just left to his own devices all summer—it sounded like Izzy’s many hours in the store, by herself. He played sports a lot, which explained his build. He wanted a trainer and a nutritionist (Harry had those) to support him on the massive tour. In the van, Ryan said he could get them just as soon as his social audience numbers hit a certain level. Lydia fell asleep during this conversation, totally nonplussed by the pressure on her work. The Jess Harper band was going to open for Harry at least through the American slots in the tour, and maybe Australia  and Europe too. For the rest of the ride, Izzy daydreamed about California and Italy. She had many pictures of both saved on Pinterest, on secret boards. Izzy thought of her own big plans, and what she wanted to do. She had loved books and botany growing up; she loved being outside, in nature, and always wanted to have a garden. George didn’t ask her any of this, and Izzy didn’t blame him; he was going on stage in just a few hours in front of more than 10,000 people.

When they opened the gates, Izzy and Meg retreated backstage. They joined Lydia in the wings, watching the band from the side. The show looked different from there, but not in the way that you would think. Seeing the chaos underneath made it only more impressive to Izzy, more magical.

Izzy watched women stare up at George from the audience just like she had last night, eager smiles lit up by the dozen as the lights swung around the audience. She could feel the stage vibrate with the drummer’s beat, a wall of sound that propelled the Starer’s voice out into the crowd. Lydia snapped pictures of George bounding on and off stage, catching his energy that he turned on for the crowd. At each costume change George and Jess would disappear with Ryan and reappear enough energy to power the entire arena.

When the band was on, Ryan hovered at the other side of the stage, eyes locked on his performers, mouthing the lyrics. Meg and Izzy laughed at him. At least he was dedicated.

BeReal, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat: Lydia and Izzy stole moments for all of them, Izzy anxiously watching the likes climb as Lydia lit a joint. Izzy, feeling protective of her little cousin, was going to say something, but the entire concert hall smelled like weed. And she was with the band now, and trying not to feel like a kid surrounded by adults. Lydia was a grown up and could smoke if she wanted to, Izzy decided.

George and Jess (the Starer) were thriving; the crowd seemed to go even crazier for them tonight than they had at the first concert. The crowd demanded two encores, unusual for an opening act.

When George ran off stage just as Harry was about to go on, he grabbed Izzy and kissed her in front of everyone. Like he was her boyfriend or something. Izzy thought to herself: do I have a boyfriend? Like, a real one? She felt high.

On stage, Harry seemed like a shell of himself. He was a smiling robot and his voice sounded hollow. He was even on time for his set. Izzy was disturbed.

Eddie was unsettled, pacing back and forth backstage, avoiding Ryan totally. As Eddie suffered, Ryan seemed to improve. Two more suited assistants followed him, and he seemed like the boss of the entire tour, ordering everyone around. Ryan was the manager assigned to George’s band when they signed up with Harry’s label, Sony, earlier that year. Ryan was a new hire there and seemed to be rising fast; he was going to ride the Jess Harper band to the top of the company, and pushing Harry’s sales up would help him get there too.

Harry played the set list Ryan had chosen. No Sign of the Times, Matilda, no Little Freak. No high kicking dance parties, and the base turned up so high on What Makes You Beautiful that you could barely hear him. The show was a big machine and Harry seemed like a cog in it for the first time. Meg actually yawned at one point. Izzy found it hard to watch.

Izzy checked Harry’s feed on her phone. He had so many more followers than George. His photos were effortless, and just breathed his energy (well, the energy he usually had). She slowed to a stop on the latest post, eyes catching on the comments at the top of the list.

jessH <3

↳ harrystyles 🤫

larry4ever222 OMG are they together?

jessH. The Starer. Izzy scrolled her account, too: photos of her raging on stage mixed with glimpses of a lifestyle Izzy had never experienced. Friends’ art shows, underground fashion events, videos from a trip to Europe.

Izzy gave the phone back to Lydia wandered out to the green room. The one here was decorated in the same style as the one in her city; all color and softness hidden away from the concrete and fluorescents of the machine that was backstage. She found a kettle behind the lucite bar and managed to make a cup of tea. Izzy didn’t know much about British people, but she did know that they liked tea. When she brought a cup back out to Eddie, he seemed to relax a bit, but his hands still trembled around the cup. 

“The label keeps siding with Ryan,” Eddie said, taking a shaky sip. “On everything.”

“Why?”

“He keeps showing them the ‘progress’ he’s making with Jess Harper. They think he’s a genius. They think I’m...”

“You’ve been Harry’s manager forever,” Meg said.

“Yeah,” Izzy added. “Harry is the biggest rock star in the world and you helped make him. I’m sure they see that.” Eddie shook his head. Izzy tried to lighten the mood: “I can’t imagine Harry getting anywhere at all without you. He can be kind of a baby.” 

“Can you blame him?” Meg said. “His music seems like a really big part of him and he’s losing control over it.” 

“Ryan is going to write the deal memos for the next shows,” Eddie continued. “Once he controls the money, I won’t have any influence at all.” 

Izzy didn’t know what to say. 

Meg stayed by his side as Izzy went back to the green room, suddenly wanting a cup of tea herself. Lydia sprawled out on the couch, her head in Olivia’s lap, passing a joint back and forth with Lisa.

The concert was over and Ryan loomed over the room from a corner, six suits around him. Harry came in and sat down near Izzy, by the bar. He leaned his head back against the wall.

“Do I smell tea in here?” Harry asked, barely able to turn his head toward her. 

“I made Eddie a cup,” Izzy said.

Harry smiled and closed his eyes. Just as he was about to say something—probably to ask Izzy to make him a cup—George burst in.

“I was looking for you babe,” George said. “Strategy sesh with Ryan. I’ll be back in 30.” He took off toward Ryan.

“Babe,” Harry spat under his breath, in a mock American accent. “You’re his babe now?”

Izzy felt anger boil up in her chest, which she wasn’t used to. “Yes, he likes me. I’m trying not to be offended by the surprise in your voice,” she said. “I do usually scare men off somehow, probably with my terrible clothes,” she said, gesturing down at her still-rubber outfit from that afternoon.

“And maybe your sense of humour,” Harry added.

“That too,” Izzy said, laughing a bit. She never thought of herself as having a sense of humour, but Harry was easy to joke with.

“I’m not scared of you,” Harry said.  

George reappeared, squeezing Izzy’s shoulders from behind. She jumped a bit, surprised. “Forgot something,” George said. He kissed her in his light way before vanishing again. Izzy gazed after him, stunned.

“I thought you were leavin’ after this weekend,” Harry said, his voice low and bitter. “It’s not like you’ll see him after that.”

“You don’t know that,” Izzy said.

She walked away from Harry and plucked Lydia’s joint out of her hand, taking a long drag. She sputtered and coughed, trying to suppress it as Lydia tapped her back. Her eyes were watering and at least it looked like it was from the smoke. She never had angry outbursts, always suppressing her feelings. But with Harry it’s like she couldn’t contain herself. When she came up for air, Harry was gone. The Starer wasn’t anywhere, either.

Meg had appeared at her side.

“You’re smoking?” She asked.

Izzy shrugged. What was wrong with trying it?

“I guess there’s nothing wrong with trying it,” Meg added. Lydia held out the joint to her, and Meg took one small inhale.

Through the smoke, Lydia and Lisa were discussing how Dimes Square was played out—Izzy had no idea what they were saying.

Meg pulled Izzy aside and shared her concerns about Eddie, who was worried about Harry.

“I know it’s bad,” Izzy agreed. “But Ryan is Jess Harper’s manager and they’re killing it. So maybe he’s not wrong about everything.”

“I thought you agreed that Ryan’s ideas for the show were terrible? I think the new set is awful.”

“George seems to really like him. How bad can he be?”

Meg was about to reply when George emerged from the back room, Ryan behind him. He was breathlessly excited about something.

“Izzy!” He grabbed Izzy’s hand.

“George!”

“The band needs you here. Ryan wants you to stay on the tour, past this weekend.”

“It’s good for the strategy,” Ryan said. “All hands on deck.”

“What?” Izzy said. It was all she could manage.

“I want you here. Two more weeks in New York, for the shows here.” George didn’t understand the shocks he was raining down on Izzy, words she had always dreamed of but had never heard before: I want you here.

“I��“ Izzy stammered. “I’m not sure if I can… my mom expects me to help her with the business, and—“

“I think your mom will be fine,” Meg said. “If that’s your reason Izzy, I don’t think that’s a good one. You haven’t been away for more than the length of a doctor’s appointment since the accident.” Meg never let Izzy get by with her bullshit. It was an excuse. It wasn’t the guilt about her mom and the store—Izzy was terrified at the prospect of two weeks with George.

George tapped his fingers against Izzy’s cheekbones, and held her face in his fingertips. “I want you to stay, Izzy. The band needs you.”

“You’re learning the social stuff fast,” Meg said. “You can do it.” Izzy felt fear climbing her legs and forearms like fire. Oh god, there was no way to stay that long on the tour without telling him about her greatest shame: the Boulder.

“I’ll stay if Meg can, too,” Izzy said.

“I think that’ll be fine. She’ll have to share with Lydia, which means you’ll have to stay with me, Izzy. I’ll check with Ry.” George disappeared again.

“I have a job, Izzy,” Meg said. Under her breath, she added: “You can do this on your own.”

“I really can’t,” Izzy whispered back.

“It would be most of the vacation time I’d saved.”

“Two weeks? Manhattan? Free hotel room? You could even have Mark visit for a bit!” Meg’s husband would be returning from a friend’s bachelor party next weekend.

Meg took out her phone, knowing Izzy would leave if she did. She had banked enough vacation time for a break. Her job said yes, which surprised her; she had done a lot of overtime, and it was paying off. Meg always complained about the clinic where she worked—it was physical medicine and rehabilitation, hips and knees and stuff, and she wanted to work with kids.

“I’m going to have to borrow all your clothes,” Meg said.

“Totally fine!”

The two hugged.

“Where did Lydia go?” Izzy asked. “I have to tell her that I get to stay.”

Meg gestured toward the arena.

Izzy stumbled on an obstacle as soon as she left the green room: the Starer. Arms folded, standing between her and the door to the pit. Had she overheard everything?

“You’re George’s girlfriend now?” Jess asked, ice in her voice. “That fits.”

“Thank you,” Izzy said, returning her tone. They were leading a band together; how could being with him be an insult?

“I think you and Ryan are sort of similar and could make a good team,” Jess said. Izzy wanted to speak up to disagree, but her voice failed. “If you let him do his work and stay out of his way.”

“Got it,” Izzy said. She couldn’t speak her mind around people like the Starer, people who she desperately wanted to impress.

“These are things we have to do to make it,” Jess added. “Forget making it, just to keep going, even.” Izzy’s confusion deepened. “An artist like Harry doesn’t have to, but we have to.” It sounded like Jess was defending herself, but Izzy didn’t know from what. Maybe Jess did sense that Izzy wasn’t like Ryan, and thought that Izzy was judging him and his methods.

“I’ve been trying to keep him away from Harry,” Jess continued. “He wants Harry under his portfolio and the label will get rid of Eddie if Ryan can show in the numbers that he’s better.”

“Ryan seems to have a terrible effect on him,” Izzy agreed. “Harry’s been even more of an asshole than usual, lately.”

“Harry needs to be around people like him. Artists, sensitive people,” Jess said in a warning tone.

Izzy knew this was intended as an insult. But she couldn’t say anything back. Jess’s message was clear: stay away from him.

“When we’re big like Harry, we can go back to doing what we want,” Jess continued.

“You guys are pretty big now,” Izzy offered.

“Not big enough,” Jess said. “You’ll see.” Ryan called her from inside and she went around Izzy into the green room.

Izzy could see clearly that Jess was an artist like Harry was, or at least that’s what she wanted to be; she didn’t like all the fake bullshit, the controlled set lists, the light show. George and his band, Harry and Jess. Izzy was on the outside. She would tell Meg her entire conversation that night back in the hotel room, while they were splitting up the clothes George bought her. Meg agreed that Jess was in love with Harry, that Ryan was a bad but necessary influence, and that they would stay for two weeks then go home. Meg sat by Izzy as she called her mom and explained that she was joining Lydia for two weeks on the tour as her assistant, making it sound as proper and normal as possible. Meg stayed with Izzy with a hand on her back while she sobbed after the call, sure that she was she was a bad daughter.

But before all of that, Izzy continued on to the arena, and hung back in the doorway.

Elijah idly tapped on his percussion set, creating a lazy beat that echoed around the hall. Lydia lay on the floor of the pit, a feather boa under her head. Her palms were pressed into her eyes, elbows pointing to the ceiling. Harry stood over her, a kind smile on his face.  It looked so strange with all the lights on, instruments in place for the opening tomorrow.

“Come on, broken hearted,” Harry said. Lydia didn’t get up. Izzy wore the same look of concern that Harry did. She had been worried about Lydia. She was so carefree and spontaneous and seemed so happy; but at the same time, she also seemed a bit lost.

Harry leaned down, stretching out both hands toward her. “No cure like dance,” Elijah said from the stage.

He seemed so much softer than he usually was.

Lydia lay on the ground.

“Fine,” Harry said. He lay down beside her, a few feet away. “It’ll be alright,” he continued, turning toward her.

“It definitely will,” Elijah said. He stopped playing.

Lydia inhaled and exhaled, then took her hands from her eyes. She spotted Izzy. Izzy asked what was wrong. Is it Mitch? Izzy thought. He disappeared after Harry’s set ended.

“Nothing,” Lydia replied.

“For the next two weeks, I’m basically not allowed near George because he has to focus, so I have to sleep in your room, sorry,” Izzy said. Lydia sat up.

“That’s fine, Izzy,” she said.

Izzy idly picked up an acoustic guitar leaning on a stand on stage. “What are you broken hearted about, Lydia?”

“Harry’s shit set list,” Lydia said, smiling.

“Thanks for that,” Harry said.

Izzy sat on the edge by Elijah and started fumbling her way through Volare, one of Lydia’s favourite songs from when they were kids. Hearing it brought back memories of Lydia dancing in the store, Izzy watching from the register. It was a song her grandmother had always put on.

“Two more weeks? That’s my entire residency here.” Harry protested.

“You’ll just have to suffer through it,” Izzy said.

Elijah hopped down off the stage and took Lydia’s hand. Izzy watched them dance, and Harry watched Izzy play.

When she finished the song, Elijah took over the guitar, playing something more upbeat.

“Do you ever dance?” Izzy asked Harry.

“Only on stage,” Harry said. Lydia booed him from the pit.

“Come on, broken hearted,” Lydia teased.

“Leave him alone,” Izzy said. “It’s fine.”

Izzy and Lydia found Meg and started their walk back to their hotel room in Dimes Square soon after, Harry making an excuse to stay behind (anything to get away from me, Izzy thought). Izzy wanted to walk, and they took a detour north first, happy to be outside, along the green edge of central park. Izzy held up her hand under the trees as they walked, feeling the leaves between her fingers.

“I wouldn’t be here without you,” Izzy said.

“Me neither,” Meg said. “Thanks, Lydia.”

“I’m your fairy godmother,” Lydia said. “Here to rescue you from your day jobs.”

“What are you broken hearted about?” Izzy asked.

“You were locked up in that store for so long,” Lydia continued, ignoring the question.

“But what is it, Lydia?”

“It’ll all work out how it’s meant to work out.”

“I wish you’d tell me,” Izzy pressed.

“You never tell anyone your true feelings about anything,” Lydia says.

“That’s true,” said Meg.

“But you always do,” Izyz said, “and now you’re being mysterious.”

Lyda sighed and looked up at the sky, clouded over with city lights. “You really love it here?”

“Bet. It’s so good to be around people my age,” Izzy said. “Listen to music and dance every night, spend time with you again.”

“I feel like I abandoned you. I left you behind.”

“No, no—that’s not what I meant. I left myself behind. Chained to the store. Like a little break on my part would have closed it forever.”

“It won’t. None of us are that important.”

“You literally rescued me. You’re a good person, Lydia,” Izzy said. “I’m glad I have another two weeks.”

Lydia gave her a bittersweet smile. “Then I’m glad, too.”

When they got back to their hotel room on Dimes Square, Lydia disappeared with her phone and Izzy told Meg about everything that had happened.

After she pulled herself together, she noticed a new box in the corner of the room. Two more new dresses, one for her and one for Meg. Same expensive designer, and blank card with the tour’s name on it. Izzy knew it was from George.

It was the pink dress that felt like water on her skin, her favourite one from the store. He did know her.

They fell asleep at three, wearing the dresses over their clothes. The next day, while Harry did an interview to promote one of his upcoming movies, George bought them bagels the size of their heads. They walked across the wide blocks between the Hudson and the East River, which George taught them to just call the East, around Soho, which George loved. They bought clothes for his upcoming appearances and Izzy and Lydia paused to catch the light, and some spontaneous expressions, for his socials on their phones. Then they returned to the arena, took a few rehearsal videos for the band’s main accounts, and watched the show from the wings. Izzy could hear all the pain in the Starer’s voice; she still got a full body rush when they came on. She really didn’t like Jess, but couldn’t hate her when she was on stage.  

Harry’s voice was still hollow, but he was a beast on stage. Izzy always stayed to watch Harry, looking for traces of what she saw on that first night. At the end of What Makes You Beautiful, he looked over his shoulder and caught her watching him. He grinned, pleased with himself. Izzy raised her phone, pretending to do something for social.

He walked over to Elijah and Naomi to say something; they smiled and nodded.

His next song was Cinema, but instead, they did Ever Since New York, which sounded a bit like James Taylor to Izzy.

“God fucking damn it,” Ryan said from behind Izzy. Izzy jumped; she didn’t know he was back there. He looked furious.

Harry glanced back at Ryan, grinning as he sang: Almost over, had enough from you

Izzy tried not to giggle.

“You’re a bad influence,” Ryan said as soon as Harry turned back around.

“I think he changed the song for you, not me,” Izzy replied, smiling.   

“George needs to focus,” Ryan continued. “He’s connecting with the crowd more than ever and we need to keep this momentum going. I’ll need your help.”

“Sure, Ryan,” Izzy said automatically. Ryan could kick her off the tour any time. 

“I need you on my side in this,” he said urgently. His face was close to hers; Izzy could see how bloodshot his eyes were.

“Yes,” Izzy said awkwardly. “Whatever you need.”

“You’ll stay with Lydia and Meg through this leg of the tour, in their room. I don’t need any distractions. I need him sharp.” Izzy was more relieved than disappointed. She had been so nervous about staying in George’s room and everything that would mean. Ryan’s phone started to buzz.

“Oh—”

“I need him sharp,” Ryan repeated. His vibe was intense, borderline manic. “We’re going to test you out in a few weeks. At the gala. We’ll see what the response is.”

“What do you mean by response—” 

“Thanks for being on George’s side,” he said. Ryan picked up the call, raising his phone to his ear, and walked off.

“What gala?” Izzy asked after him. Ryan didn’t turn around. When Izzy turned back to the stage, Harry’s eyes were on her. He swivelled back around to the stage fast and finished the song. 

you don't know nothing, just pretend you do

Izzy smiled. New York for two weeks with George. She could put up with Harry for a little while longer. Maybe she could stay for the whole tour.

chapter7

[kaypeace21]

"Rebel robin" easterggs

- Robin's friend is a horror movie fan whos fav movie is evil dead (jonathan has a poster of it in his room)

- Robin's parent's car is the " dodge dart" a ref to Dustin's demodog-dart

-robin and her friends make analogies to zombies (like Will- the zombie boy).

- robin faints. And her friend milton says "blink once for yes twice for no". A ref to what Joyce said to Will in s1.

- robin's other friend has a little sister named el-ie who pretends to be a squirrel. A ref to el killing a squirrel in s2. This is also reminiscent of a scene from the st prequel novel ' suspicious minds' where young-kali pretended to be a tiger (the Hawkins school mascot) & a rabbit (Jonathan's hunting story).

- robin reminds me alot of the byers: she is into photography and rock like jonathan and even worked at the movie theatre like jonathan did in the og pilot. They both like David bowie and cook for their families. She also is poor and wears hand-me down clothes from relatives (like Will). She also is into existential philosophers. Which is also similar to jonathan who had a poster of the poet rimbaud in his room.

- robin is almost run over by a car by a bully while riding her bike: similar to Mike, Dustin, and Lucas in s2

- robin says the best accessory for a girl is her middle finger. Cue max giving the middle finger to billy in s2 XD

- robin (before Will dissapears) sees the quarry and gets uncomfortable and thinks of metaphorical monsters

- similar to how billy had baseball references (along with Will). Robin wears a baseball shirt

- her fav flavor of pie is cherry (like alexi and cherry slurpies). She also gets pissed at a guy sipping a cherry flavored drink- similar to hopper in s3 with alexi

- she cuts her hair and she describes it as looking like a lion. El and Will owned lion plushies in s1.

- robin refs Chicago (kali lives there) and NYC (hopper used to live there), and California (where max and billy used to live).

-tammy's fav song is total eclipse of the heart: the song Robin and Steve sang in s3. Tammy would often sing the song in robin and Steve's class.

- they make references to the hellfire club: she describes a time where she dresses like a cross between a nerd and a rebel. And a mom yells at her appearance saying she looks "goddless' . And another of Robin's friend (kate) is told ' what demon is possessing you, kate?" (hinting at the satanic panic). Meanwhile someone describes Mike and his friends as "hellions' as another hint to this. We also see how alot of parents got paranoid and a bit crazy when Will and barb dissappeared- prob foreshadowing the chaos that will happen if more kids dissappear in s4. Along with the satanic panic

-Robin is visiting her friend Kate at her house. Kate wanted to listen to Madonna together. Max and el listened to Madonna at el's.

- Robin's friend (kate) says "I dumped his ass" in reference to her cheating bf. A little nod to the m*leven breakup

- robin (like Will) felt excluded during the summer cause her friends kate and dash (Kate's now ex bf) were always making out . Sound familiar- cough m*leven

- robin annoyed says " makeouts, breakups and declarations of love all in the span of a week". Wow if that ain't a diss to certain pairing we know in s3 XD

- kate (like mike) says to Robin dating the opposite sex is a part of growing up . Which scares Robin (and Will in s3).

- robin has a nightmare of running down the school hallway with short hair (like el in s2 via the upsidedown)

- robin contemplates shaving her head (like el)

- robin says she likes to sometimes dress androgynous . And found a cool suit. Which we saw in s4 bts pics I assume.

- robin watches a music video where there are duplicate indianna joneses (could be a ref to all the billy duplicates in s3?)

- robin says " I stare at the ceiling. The ceiling stares back. I'm stuck and don't know what to do" a ref to the s3 song with robin called "the ceiling is beautiful"

- a character named Sheena reminds me a bit of Will or el . She is very quiet, queercoded, and is often bullied. And she finds mean notes and other things in her locker- placed there by bullies. A bit like how Will found the zombieboy note in his locker. But sheena can be another name for Jane so ...maybe foreshadowing of el/jane being bullied in highscool?

- when robin hears a hom*phobic comment on tv- she describes the anxiety like a ' thundercloud in a big open sky' and a "chill". Which reminds me of the mf being associated with clouds, thunder, and lightning. And the mf liking it cold.

- robin constantly describes the monster or shadow in her life- whether it be her talking about conformity or the problems of consumerism while she is poor (themes of s3).

- robin before realizing she was gay/crushing on tammy just says " I don't get crushes' which reminds me a bit of Will saying " I'm not going to fall in love" (as the lyrics are " love thats new to you, you open up the door')

-robin on her bike hears something (demogorgan) and runs back to her house , locks the door, and calls her friend- and the phone gets electrocuted. The next day Will is said to be missing. (Another Will paralllel).

- i was right about robin being in theatre. So we most likely will see robin in theatre in s4 (she also auditioned with a friend in the book). So for s4 my guess is she may be in the drama club with dustin- cause in s1 he had a drama shirt

- one of her friends is named milton. Since the documentary 'paradise lost' was on the s4 movie list. Its prob a ref to John milton who wrote the fictional 'paradise lost'. The character Sheena may be a ref to the 80s film/movies *where sheena (jane) was psychic

-Robin's gal pal (kate) and Robin eat m&ms and candies together. Kate jokes m&ms and candy bars are 'foods of the gods'. El ate m&ms in s3. They joke how talking about plural gods (instead of 1) would get them in trouble. In case you are unaware- kali (is the name of a Hindu goddess) and el (is the name of a cannanite god) .

-Robin also mentions hopper's car smells like eggos.

- robin tries running away (like el in s2, max in her novel, and jonathan also wrongfully assumed Will ranaway in s1 too).

-robin tries to get a job at Joyce's, than Bob's, and later gets a job where jonathan used to work

-bob newby describes the byers family as his "home" . Similar to how El describes the Hawkins gang as "home".

- robin says she was friends with barb before nancy. Suspiciously right after she says this- barb grabs Robin's hallpass that says ' glitch in the time space continuim. " the teacher who wrote this called robin a "glitch". Which makes me wonder if my did theory is right- but ...that certain powers at be may also alter memories or things so people assume said people have always been around.Mentioning it cause it seemed suspicious.

-not an eastegg but robin can't believe how nice Bob is. And Bob says the byers filled a hole in his life 😭 . She also felt an instant connection with Will and saw alot of herself in him.And asked if Joyce ever thought of moving like everyone suggested . One of the reasons Robin didn't like steve was because Steve never mentioned how Jonathan took innapropriate photos of Nancy. So everyone at school just knew jonathan as the quiet kid who takes pictures. So to everyone it just seemed like- wow you're bullying the quiet kid who's brother is missing and take away the one thing still left in his life that makes him happy. Which is why everyone assumes jonathan beat up steve later. Interesting to know how general Hawkins (not in the loop) viewed things

- the book referenced alot of previously mentioned movies on the s4 list or from prior duffer interviews...along with a few NEW movies ,books, plays, singers, and songs that I have to analyze for another day ...

[virtual-luvr]

Hello I really like your jumin han stories, so I have a request for more. I don't have much of a plot but like male y/n is going to move in woth jumin and he has 2 male cats who are both neutered, but jumin is still complaining that the cats are gonna try and get Elizabeth the 3rd pregnant( even though it's not possible). Eventually jumin warms up to the other cats and y/n makes fun of jumin by taking pictures of jumin and the cats cuddling saying that Elizabeth is gonna be jealous. He/him for reader. Please and thank you.

Warming up

Pairing: Jumin x Reader

Pronouns: he/him

Content: you have two cats, jumin is scared-

Description: Jumin slowly starts to warm up to your two male cats

Note: ah im so glad you like my writing!! And thank you for requesting, i hope you like it !

------------------

Jumin liked to plan everything in advance, thats how he worked best. So when he had finally visited your apartment for once and seen your two...male...cats, he was incredibly frustrated.

He wanted you to move in with him, hell, you guys were both already planning on moving in together.

It shouldn't come as a surprise that you had two male cats but you had only told Jumin you had two cats, never did you say what sex they were.

You thought it was no bug deal but at this point Jumin was almost sweating, your calm and collected boyfriend had essentially flashed out of existence.

"Jumin you dont have to worry, theyre both neutered" you say with a laugh, you couldnt deny the situation was a little funny.

Jumin still seemed panicked as he looked at both of your cats.

"I cant have them near my Elizabeth, they'll get her pregnant"

Jumin stands close to you, inching closer and closer as your two cats move towards Jumin.

At this point his arms are around your waist and hes hiding behind you, your cats still moving closer to him. Of course they got very close trying to smell him since you usually came hone smelling like him as well.

You call for them to get closer but Jumin hesitates, arms tightening around you.

"Jumin why are you even running away from them?"

"Because if they get close then when I come home Elizabeth will smell them on me and I dont want that" he says, voice monotone but his eyes stood glaring at your cats.

You turn around and look at Jumin in the eyes, giving him a playful glare and softly grabbing his face so his attention is on you instead of your cats.

"I, your amazing boyfriend who would never ever lie to you, has told you time and time again that there is no way they can get Eli pregnant"

Jumin lets out a groan, adjusting his stance and looking back at you.

Suddenly his business like demeanor came back, you hadnt seen that in a long time since you guys started dating, he was usually much more open now.

"Fine, they can come to the apartment but they are not staying in close contact to Elizabeth, atleast not yet"

You chuckle but agree, you know he just wants whats best for Elizabeth and shes very dear to him.

You brought your face sloer to his and gave him a small kiss, which still somehow suprised him.

"What was that for?"

"To seal our contract"

"Oh i see, well can I have some that arent business inquired ones?" A small smile sets on his face as he looks at you after saying that, eyes soft but filled with love.

"Of course Mr. CEO" you say while leaning in.

"Dont call me that" Jumin groans out before kissing you back.

Forgetting your cats are there, while you had that whole conversation, they got much more closer then before. Now one of them wrapping his tail around your leg and the other pawing at Jumins shoe.

Jumins breathe hitches as he sees them but tries his best not to move, knowing he shouldnt be scared of anything happens.

While in that moment he didnt pet them or anything, it was a good start.

---------

Its been a few weeks, you're now settled into an apartment with Jumin.

Yours cats though, werent as settled in.

You were hoping in around a week they'd be able to get closer to Elizabethn Jumin was still hesitant.

Dont get me wrong, all cats were roaming around, it wasnt like your cats were in a cage or something.

Its just they have been under heavy supervision, if Jumin was not there he had a bodyguard watch over all three.

(He didn't trust you enough with this he knew you would let your cats cuddle up to Elizabeth as soon as possible)

This evening was one where both of you were not going to be at home, so Jumin quickly called up a bodyguard.

"He won't be at home and I currently have to get going to a business meeting, get here as soon as possible. You have the keys to open the door, do not let any of those two cats get close to Elizabeth"

Jumins voice was low and demanding, a little bit intimidating in your ppinion but you didn't mind-

He swiftly hangs up and looks back at you as he puts his blazer on, adjusting his sleeves and tie.

"I have to get going my love, enjoy your evening with Jaehee ill see you later" He gives you a soft kiss on your forehead and then your lips and with that he was gone.

You ran out and as soon as you left the door, a car stood waiting for you.

Quickly giving the driver the location, you wait patiently to get there, no rush since you werent late.

You got there pretty fast, traffic wasnt bad. As you look up you see Jaehee waiting at a table, coffee in one hand and a menu in the other.

"Hi Jaehee" you say with a smile, and with that you had an evening filled of Jaehee talking about Zen and eating plenty of amazing pastries and drinks.

The 'date' went by smoothly and you left only around a few hours after, it was getting late and Jaehee had to go back home to finish some workload.

You thanked them for the nice evening you had together and then went back into the car which was waiting for you.

The ride back went just as well as the first one, you got home pretty fast but when you got there you were met with a sight that you werent expecting at all.

There sat two cats, around someone.  That someone being Jumin.

He had a cup in hand and an expensive looking laptop right in front of him, both cats laying a head on each of his legs. Sleeping soundly and peacefully. 

He didnt react when he heard the lock of the front door lock, or maybe he just hadnt heard you enter.

You oull out your phone as quickly as possible, not even being able to fathom what was right in front of your eyes.

Is this a dream?

No, no, this is defently not a dream.

As you take a step forward Jumin looks up.

Once he sees you, a soft of nervous smile sets on his face.

"Weren't expecting this were you?"

"No not at all, how the hell did this happen"

"I didnt notice them coming towards me and...all of a sudden they were like this. I wasnt sure what to do so i just, let them"

You'll be honest, it was honestly such a nice view to see three of the people you most love be so close. You felt happy.

You take a few more steps and one of your cat notices that you're getting closer, now meowing at you. You grab him and sit down where he was just resting and isntead put him on your lap.

Now both you and Jumin sat close, one cat on your lap and the other resting on Jumin's leg. Soon enough Elizabeth came in too for some cuddles.

All in all, you looked like a whole family, and you all sat cuddling eachother. One of Jumins arms wrapped around you and you cuddled up to him, phone in hand.

You opened the messenger and quickly sent the photo of Jumin and your cats together before he could demand you to delete it.

Messages started filtering in quickly, many of them beung from the infamous seven o seven.

"What did you send to them.."

[1341 words; feb/11/21]

[1234-angelika]

Sick Days

an: Hey y'all! I'm back from my unplanned hiatus and I have been catching up on all the stories I have fallen behind on. So, I have a new Matt fic for y'all. This is the fourth installment of the Happily Ever After series for Matt. As always, hope y'all enjoy!

words: 1.1k

warnings: mentions of vomit

summary:"Life is a succession of movements. To live each one is to succeed." -Coreta Kent

masterpost|taglist|have an idea

It had now been just over a year since Matt officially asked you to be his girlfriend; it wasn't too long after that first date.

After being together for a year, you decided it was time to move on to other things career-wise. You didn't feel ready to sell your business. Instead, you found a replacement and trained her to take your place. Rarely were you actually needed at the school, sometimes she would call you about something, but she was doing well. Now you mostly stayed at home finding things to do, and you looked after the kids when Matt had to leave for a case on a custody week.

A few weeks ago, Matt asked you to move in with them, saying, "Y/N, most of your clothes are here and you spend the majority of your free time here. I love you and I know that, though the transition for them was difficult, the kids do too. Will you move in with us?"

Of course, you had said yes, so here you were. Unpacking boxes, the same as you had been doing over the week. These were the last few left, so you just wanted to get them done. The girls were napping, and the boys were playing in the playroom, so you had some time, or you thought. A shrill cry reverberated through the baby monitor, resulting in you rushing to the nursery. The adjustment of the new baby was just that, an adjustment. The kids didn't seem to have any trouble with their new sibling. You hurried over to Rosemary only to find that she was burning up. Rosemary in your arms, you rushed into the bathroom and rifled through the cabinet looking for the medicine. You let out a huff as you noticed that Matt didn't have any baby Tylenol meaning, you had to go to the store.

You hurried to the girl's bedroom, carrying Rosemary in your arms and trying not to jostle her too much. Gently, you shook the girls awake from their naps which resulted in a new problem, crying. Chloe started crying from being woken up, and then Lily joined in because her twin was crying. You carefully set Rosemary on the bed before putting shoes on the girls, not bothering to change them out of their pyjamas. You picked up the baby, told the girls to follow you, and headed down to the playroom.

Hurrying in there, you weren't anticipating any problems with the boys. But, boy, were you wrong. As soon as you got to the bottom of the stairs, the smell of puke overwhelmed you. Jake was standing off to the side looking scared while David was puking on the carpet and crying. You herded all the kids upstairs and put the baby in her car seat before you went to help David. You quickly rinsed him off and helped him change his pyjamas before putting jackets on the boys and grabbing your keys. Quickly, you buckled all the children into the car and secured the car seats before you got in. You began the drive to the BAU and tried calling Matt hands-free, but he didn't answer. You tried a couple times before, just focusing on the road and driving just a little bit faster.

Crying and screaming filled the car as you drove to the BAU, going as fast as possible while still legal and safe. Five unhappy children were a lot to handle on your own. You pulled into the parking lot, which was unusually busy, so you had to drive around a little bit. You managed to snag a spot near the building just before another driver did. After parking the car, you quickly jumped out and got the kids out of the car in a speedy fashion. You managed to calm three out of the five kids, which was a win for you. Rosemary and David were still crying, but the screaming had stopped, which made it a success.

Walking into the lobby, you checked in with the receptionist. Matt had put you in his file as an approved visitor, so the receptionist quickly provided a pass. A short elevator ride to the correct floor, and the receptionist hurriedly opened the door for you since your hands were full. You thanked her with a kind smile. When you walked into the bullpen, you found Matt's desk empty. You knew it was his desk because of the photos littered across it. You went to sit there and wait before you spotted him in the conference room in what seemed to be a meeting. Unfortunately, the twins seemed to have spotted him at the same time as you, and before you could stop them, they took off running. Surprisingly, they waited for you at the door. You softly knocked on the door, and a dark-haired woman opened it. Chloe immediately hid behind your legs and clutched your jeans in her fist like her life depended on it.

"Hello. Can I help you?"

Before you could answer, you saw Matt's frame coming up behind her. Your hands were full, so you couldn't stop Lily from running to him. He picked her up before answering his boss.

"Sorry Emily, I'll handle this," he said as he walked past her to you, "Y/N what's wrong? Why are you here?"

"I need help Matt. You didn't have any baby Tylenol left and Rosemary is burning up. David is also super sick and needs to be taken to the doctor, he's been throwing up." You answered, frazzled.

Before Matt could even respond, a woman who could only be described as colourful asked, "Who's this?"

"Garcia, everyone, this is my girlfriend Y/N. And these are my kids: Jake, David, Chloe, Lily and, Rosemary."

You offered a wave with your free hand while you tried to soothe the crying baby. As soon as your hand was back by your side, David latched on-- an immense amount of strength for a sick child. Matt turned to his boss, Emily, opening his mouth to speak, but she started before he could.

"Matt, obviously Y/N and your kids need you. Go home and take care of them. We'll work this case without you, just keep your phone on for consulting."

Matt nodded, and the two of you thanked her. Then he grabbed his stuff from his desk, and you walked out of the BAU together with the children. Ready to fight whatever this was, together.

taglist:@myescapefromthislife @multixfandomwriter

@gspenc

[erectionsandtea]

Poly party summer fun headcanons, part 2 ! 😀 (this got way too long so I’m posting it as it is, and if I get more ideas, or if you guys want to send me anything 😉, I’ll either reblog this post or make a new one.) Enjoy!

(part 1 can be found here)

Amusement park: (these are based on amusement parks I have been to since they're all I know, lol)

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

- they go early so they can do everything (twice) but they also stay until it gets dark bc El wants to see all the lights

- one of her favorite rides is the big ship that swings back and forth because it feels like flying

- Max, Lucas, and Dustin take El on her first roller coaster ride, and it's super scary but she also loves it (Robin and Nancy go, too)

Lucas and Dustin scream like little girls on the roller coaster and become the butt of many jokes about it (most of them from Max)

Max and Lucas would totally try to kiss for the roller coaster camera (idk why okay, stop me) but the photo would look absolutely ridiculous and Max’s hair is fuckin EvERYWHERE

El uses some of her money to buy a copy of the photo (she buys a copy of their photo from every ride, it's a lot of money, but the others help her out with it), and when she gets home, Will helps her make a collage of all the photos that she puts up in her room

- El also wants caricatures, but they don't have enough money for everyone (so she just gets one of herself). Will watches the artist, who gives him tips on how to do it so he can draw some for El later (and he totes does bc good brother vibes)

- they do the ferris wheel last bc it is super romantic (even more so at night), and everyone wants to go with everyone else. Max wants to go up every time someone else does bc she wants to try to spy on them, lol

Groups, in order from side to other side (sitting, not riding order):

for her very first time: Max/El/Mike (her two bffs, aka her bf and gf)

Mike/Will

Max/Lucas

Dustin/Suzie

El/Max/Lucas

El/Mike/Will

El/Mike

El/Max

the guy running the ferris wheel is just like “you kids again???” bc they keep just getting off the ride and going straight to the back of the line to go up again, but eventually they have to stop bc the park is literally about to close and they’ll be kicked out

- there's also a haunted house ride and El absolutely has to ride with Mike bc when she is scared or feels like she's in danger, he's always been the best at making her feel okay again. She clings to him throughout the ride, but ends up laughing at how cheesy not-scary most of the effects are.

- as exhilarating as the drop rides are, El doesn’t like going on them too much but she can do it like, once. maybe twice.

- Lucas and Max, and Dustin and Will, like that ride that’s like the ferris wheel except you’re in a cage and you can manipulate the cage (by spinning it and stuff) to take you upside down. Dustin and Max do it too much, like to an extreme, and Will and Lucas are like “stop, the world is literally spinning” and they’re very disoriented when they get off

- there’s a rapids ride, and since the rafts are big enough to hold 8 people, the whole party is able to go together in one, and then the teens can go together in another one. they totally get sprayed by bystanders. 

- there's a shooting game (like where you go through a tunnel on a track, and targets pop up and you shoot them)

Lucas is the best and El rides with him bc the best should introduce the newbie, and she has so much fun, it's nothing like the guns she's experienced in her previous (lab) life.

Max and Dustin fight really hard to be second best.

Mike and Will go together and compared to the others, they suck, but that's okay they have fun anyway, and they joke about their own terribleness.

- Dustin buys those deep-fried snacks (you know the ones I mean) and he is literally the only person in the group that likes them (okay, not true, Robin can handle them, too)

El, against the advice of the others, wants to try those snacks bc she’s never heard of anything like that before, and the first time she takes a bite, her face goes through a range of like 10 emotions bc she’s being assaulted by flavors-

but after she manages to swallow it, she’s like “wow, that was amazing” and the others are like “...you serious??”

Mike is just like “that is disgusting and I’m not kissing you after that lol” and El is just like “but...why?” (he totes does tho, he doesn’t give a f, he’s kissing his gf bc he just can’t resist the cuteness)

Nancy, even though she doesn’t necessarily like it, can totally handle taking a bite and finishing it (like that beer from season 1) and Robin is like “that’s impressive, band geek” and Nancy’s just like “I’m not in band” (idk lol)

- El wanting to try EVERY food but the others have to cut her off bc it’s so expensive and she will get so sick

- Mike being a good bf and holding souvenirs bought by his bf and gf (Will totally buying a sweet little something for his awesome mom) (El totally doing the same thing to remind herself of Hopper, but she keeps it in her room instead)

- Lucas also being a good bf for the same reason but complaining about it, lol

- everyone goes on the log ride (you might know it as the flume) bc there isn’t a person on earth who doesn’t like that ride, and even tho she knows about the impending splash, El is still super surprised when it happens

Groups, in order (front to back):

El, Mike, Max, and Lucas (Max is explaining to El over Mike’s shoulder that “you absolutely HAVE TO be in the front, it’s the best way”)

Suzie, Dustin, Steve, and Robin (irrelevant but don’t tell me Robin sits in front of Steve, there’s no fuckin way, she’s not his gf, also Steve and Dustin just have to sit together bruh)

Will, Dustin (bc obvsly he goes on again), Nancy, and Jonathan

Mike has his arms around El like he thinks he’s going to protect her from the huge spray of water (but his skinny arms won’t protect shit lol) and he somehow manages to make a decent photo come out of him kissing her cheek while she is simultaneously screaming (good screaming)

- everyone loves the bumper cars (Jonathan and Suzie hang back tho, to hold everyone’s stuff and cheer from the side)

Max, as the only one (sans teens) who has actually driven a car before, rides with El so she can teach her how to do it

her and Lucas (with his passenger Will) are automatically in competition with one another (”you’re going down!” “no, YOU’RE going down!”)

Robin, riding by herself, goes after Steve and driver Nancy (who’s surprisingly good at this)

and Dustin (passenger Mike) gangs up with Robin to take on Steve and Nancy, which makes Nancy even more determined now to destroy both of them

Steve’s a little afraid of Nancy when she’s like this, lol

eventually Dustin and Robin are like “okay okay, we’ll stop! jesuschrist, how did you get so good at this??” (but also they are just in total awe of Nancy) and they just go after each other instead

- El doesn’t like spinning rides (too dizzy and they totally make her tummy “feel weird, like there’s a storm in it” “uh oh, you’re nauseous, El” “naw-shus?” “yeah, like sick, here, sit down for a minute”), but Will loves them and he’s there for her

- the sky ride (the one that takes you from end of the park to the other), groups:

Mike and Will on one side, Max and El on the other (the seats are basically little cabins, seats for 4 people)

Lucas and Dustin on one side, Jonathan and Steve on the other

Robin on one side (she totally takes up the whole double space, putting her leg up), Nancy and Suzie on the other

- carousel ride! (during the day)

El wants the prettiest horse

Max gets the most badass thing which is like...a wolf??

Lucas and Dustin ride only bc there’s a game where you can try to throw rings into a hole while going around (they each get one in by pure luck but otherwise suck). they don’t really care what animals they get, they just need ones that move up and down. Dustin gets a cat with a fish in his mouth, and Lucas ends up just picking a rabbit before everything is taken and he doesn’t have a choice anymore. The others fuckin laugh at the image of Lucas riding a rabbit

Suzie gets another horse

Will gets a lion which doesn’t move up and down but he’s okay with that, he’s kinda just going bc everyone else is

Mike gets stuck with a horse bc he was at the back of the group and by the time he gets there, every other non-horse animal is taken (but they joke about how he should have gotten the non-moving giraffe, taken by Steve, bc it’s so tall and gangly like him lol)

Nancy gets a horse

Robin takes the wild boar bc “dude that is the most badass animal on a carousel I have ever seen!”

Jonathan stays behind, no matter how much the others beg, but he takes lots of really good pictures (including the one time Dustin gets the ring in the hole and then cheering, then also him and Lucas high-fiving, and the various couples exchanging really cute looks, and El having the best time ever bc she’s never been on one of these before)

they go on the carousel one more time near the end of the night and this time Jonathan gives in and rides with them, but he sits in one of the benches that’s just there for the parents), and he still takes pictures as best he can without getting up and moving

- photo booth photos! (I’ll leave the silly face ones up to your imagination)

El and Max (one super close hug with faces pressed together, one kiss, one silly faces, and one smiles)

Will and Mike, but Max and El totally burst in for like, the last 1.5 pictures, it doesn’t ruin them tho, Mike and Will just ignore them (one nice smiles bc they’re like “what do we do??”, one hug, one kiss being interrupted by the girls in the background, one candid laughing while the girls wave at the camera)

Will and Mike again (one candid of Mike holding the curtain shut to make sure no interruptions and Will laughing, one kiss (non-interrupted), one silly faces, one just being super cute and close together and leaning on each other)

Max and Lucas (one smiles, one kiss, one of her pretending to look tough by putting him in a headlock or putting a fist next to his face like a punch, one that was supposed to be funny faces but instead is her looking off to the side where Mike has opened the curtain and stuck his head (with his tongue out) in as revenge and Lucas with that look of “dude, really??” on his face)

Dustin and Suzie (one kiss, one smiles, one nose-to-nose, one super close together leaning on each other cute)

Mike and El (one smiles, one kiss, one of him like surprise-trying to pull her into his lap kind of thing idk and her just looking super surprised but happy but also Max is in the background ruining YET ANOTHER picture, and one candid of them giggling about the previous picture with their foreheads pressed together almost nose-to-nose)

Mike and El again bc she wants non-interrupted photos (one with her actually sitting in his lap this time (she did this beforehand so he wouldn’t scare her again with the surprise-pulling thing), one of them pretending to look all hoity-toity like super models, one with her arms around his neck and his arms around her waist and they’re all close and cute sort of candid, and one just like the last one except they’re looking at the camera and smiling)

Will and Mike and El (one with Mike in the middle while his gf and bf give him a kiss on each cheek, one with El hanging over Mike’s shoulders in sort of a half-piggyback and he and Will are laughing, one with Mike and Will kissing while El makes a funny face at the camera, one of them all making funny faces at the camera)

Max and El and Mike (one with El in the middle, Max’s arms are around her waist almost dipping her backwards, her legs are up in the air (as far up as they can go in the tiny booth) and her head is tilting back onto Mike’s shoulder with his arms around her shoulders and he’s pressing a kiss to her hair, one with El kissing Mike’s cheek while he and Max make funny faces, one with Max behind them and her arms over both of their shoulders pulling them all close and their faces squished together with this super big cheesy grin while Mike is laughing at El’s funny face, one with Mike and El kissing and Max sitting next to them making the 👌🏻 symbol and winking at the camera, bc she just has to get sassy)

Bonus, more teens:

- Robin takes Steve on all the crazy rides (aka drags him, makes him go, etc.) They both get a little sick, but for her it's totally worth it (for him...not so much)

- Dustin and Robin get along hella bc he joins them on the crazy rides and is just @steve like “what are you, a pussy?”

- Nancy has to remind Jonathan that the kids will be FINE, and they don't need to hover around them all evening, "let's go enjoy ourselves"

- Nancy likes roller coasters, CHAnGE mY MInD

- Steve and Robin totally scream when they go on the drop ride together, except Robin’s scream is more “holy shit, exhilarating and so exciting! whooooo!” while Steve’s is more “this is fun but also I’m totally gonna die!!”

- Steve is a boss at those games where you have to throw something at/into/onto a target and he wins a stuffed animal

- Robin is p decent at those games too, but she’s not a match for the king (she comes close though, they actually turn it into a competition to see who can win more stuff)

- Nancy kicks butt at that game where you shoot a spray of water and make the target thing rise to the top or race or whatever (any shooting game, really), you know what I mean (Jonathan fucking fails, sorry Jonathan)

- Steve totally wins that game where you swing a mallet and try to ring the bell. Robin doesn’t win but she gets way closer than they thought she would and Steve’s “wtf”. Dustin is also stronger than he looks, and even tho he doesn't win, he can at least lift the (smaller) mallet, which is more than any of the others can do.

- Robin HAS to do that game where you try to climb the flat, almost horizontal rope ladder to the end and she doesn’t even make it halfway before she falls, but it’s hilarious

- Nancy also tries that game after some goading from the others, and she makes it farther than Robin (about halfway) but still fails fantastically. And then she takes a bow.

[mysweetestcreature]

Purple Clouds and Tangerine Skies

Words: 24.5k

Warnings: Mentions of death...smut?

Summary: Why can’t two people who are meant for each other get it right?

***

They’re fighting again. All Y/n can do is shut her eyes in the hopes that when she opens them, everything will be okay. But no amount of wishing can drown out the noise. 

“I can’t keep pretending like everything is fine! It’s not. You know it isn’t, Matt,” she hears her mother erupt between sobs. Lately, it’s been the same angry words shouted at one another over and over again. Y/n takes her baby sister, Ava, in her eight-year-old arms. She hugs the baby close. If she can’t block the screaming out, at least she can protect her sister from it.

“Grace, please.” It’s her dad’s voice. She’s never heard him sound so desperate. “What about our family? The girls need you. I need you! You can’t just walk away from us.” 

There’s a sudden silence that follows. At first, Y/n thinks that maybe her parents have reached a resolution. Her dad has always been good at negotiating. It is his job, after all. She’s seen him in action whenever he brings her to work with him. Maybe he’s managed to work that same magic on her mum. She gently lays Ava down on the bed, creating a makeshift barrier of pillows on either side of her, before exiting the room and running down the stairs. 

Before she can reach the bottom, she’s forced to a halt when she sees her daddy slouched over on the last step. His head is buried in his hands, his shoulders are shaking. He’s crying. That’s a sight she’s never seen before. He’d always been the picture of bravery and strength, but now that’s been washed away and replaced with someone who looks broken beyond repair. She doesn’t recognize him.

Where is her mum? She slips past her dad, despite wanting to throw herself in his arms for comfort. Besides his sniffling, the house is quiet. There’s no trace of her mum. It scares her.

“Where’s Mummy?” she asks meekly, turning to her father.

He doesn’t respond, but instead, he brings his hands out of his hair, and stares painfully at the door. Without thinking, she throws it open, the sun’s light momentarily blinding her for a few unhinged seconds. It’s only the screeching of wheels on road that brings her back.

“Mummy!” she cries, running as fast as her short legs can take her. Her eyes begin to swell with tears. The black taxi is still, and she’s just able to stare at her mum through its window. “Mummy, where are you going?” she pleads as she bangs on the door, but her mother doesn’t even flinch. Why won’t she look at me? 

The engine starts up, and the car begins to drive away. Y/n chases after it, crying out for her mum to come back. “Don’t go! Please don’t leave me!” It picks up speed after it turns the corner. She feels herself slowing down, but even then, she refuses to stop. The distance between herself and the car becomes too massive.  

“Mummy, come back!” 

Arms envelop around her, and now she’s running on air. “Let her go,” her dad tells her, and she can feel his own tears against her neck. Her feet stop kicking, it’s like the energy has completely drained from her body. Her mind, however, is still racing. 

***

A few days later, her daddy packs both hers and Ava’s bags, and loads them all into his car. She doesn’t ask questions, and instead busies herself with the fleeting landscape. A part of her had expected all that’s happened to be a part of some elaborate nightmare. But each morning, she wakes up to her parents’ bed left untouched, and her dad asleep on the living room couch. Ava is asleep beside her, and Y/n can’t help but think how lucky her little sister is to be living in ignorance. At three months old, she’s only just learned to hold her head up. Barely. Y/n doesn’t remember anything from that age, and maybe that’s a good thing. Had her parents always been this hostile towards one another? Had her mother done this before? What if she had? Does that mean she’ll eventually come back?

“We’re going to be staying with your grandparents for a while,” she’s taken out of her thoughts when her dad finally speaks up.

“Why?” She catches his eyes in the rearview mirror. They only ever go up to Nan and Gramps’ house during the holidays.

His fingers thump against the steering wheel, and he breathes in deeply as though to say something. It takes a moment before he answers her. “I just...I can’t do this alone.” His voice breaks, even though he tries to pass it off with a cough. “It’ll be good for us,” he says again. “You’ll see.”

When they hit a red light, he turns to look at her. He smiles weakly. No matter how much she wants to believe him, she still yearns for her mummy. It’s become especially hard in the mornings when her hair is knotted from tossing and turning in her sleep, and her dad can’t manage to tame it for the life of him. Her mum would often braid her hair, and like magic, it would remain intact all day. She always loved how gentle and soothing her mum would be as she brushed each strand with such care. That’s not to say that her dad isn’t trying, of course, but it’s just not the same.

***

Her grandparents live in a little town called Holmes Chapel. It’s pretty, she supposes. The buildings are a lot older, and the streets aren’t as busy as they are back home. She sits back and takes a deep breath. Her tummy flips a little when she thinks about how she might never see her old friends again, or her room, or even Mrs. Watson who lives next door (she would babysit Y/n and Ava whenever her mum had to run some errands). 

When she looks out the window again, she sees Nan and Gramps stood on their front porch, smiles reaching their eyes. 

“Where are my babies!” Nan exclaims, her arms stretched out. Her dad says a quick hello before opening up the back door. Y/n hops out, and her legs feel a bit unsteady from having been cramped in the car for all those hours. 

“Hi, Nana,” she greets sadly. Nan’s smile falters slightly, but she doesn’t seem to let it deter her.

The elderly woman bends down to her height and gathers her in her arms. Over Nan’s shoulder, Y/n watches as her dad whispers something in Gramps’ ear. Although she can’t hear it, she can tell by Gramps’ reaction that it can’t have been good. “A bit peaky?” Nan asks, when she finally pulls away. She cups Y/n’s cheeks and presses a kiss to her forehead. “I just took the cookies out of the oven, actually. Let’s go check on them before your grandfather gobbles them up.” 

Gramps groans behind them. “It was one time!” 

Nan waves him off, guiding her through the front door with an encouraging push. “Oh, you won’t believe all the colors I bought for you at the crafts store yesterday! I know how much you love to draw,” she says. Her voice drowns out when she hears something fall outside. “Arthur Y/l/n! If you break another one of my pots, I swear to–” It leaves Y/n to wander through the hall on her own. Her grandparents’ house is quaint and orderly and smells vaguely of warm vanilla (probably from the cookies) and jasmine. The walls are covered in framed photographs of her daddy and his older brother through the years, a few of a much younger Nan and Gramps, and finally of Y/n, Ava and all of her cousins. (They live in Nice––her Uncle Brandon married a French woman named Dominique––and only ever seem to come around for Nan and Gramps’ anniversary.) Finally, below her uncle and aunt’s wedding photo, is her parents’. She tries not to stare at it too long.

***

Y/n decides that maybe spending time with her grandparents won’t be so bad. After all, her and Ava don’t have to share a room anymore, which means that she won’t be woken up by her little sister’s 3 am wailing fits. Nan’s done an impressive job decorating on such short notice, too. The walls are still plain white, but at least there are some pretty stickers of butterflies and flowers and a few of Y/n’s favorite cartoon characters. Even the windows are nicely covered with those gel ornaments that she loves to poke. 

It’s all very nice, but she still wonders about when she’ll be able to sleep in her own bed, in her own house, under her own sheets.

“When are we going home?” she asks her dad as he tucks her in for the night. His hands stop in the middle of smoothening out her blanket, his eyes remaining glued to one of its printed ballerinas. 

“To be honest with you, love,” he sighs, “I don’t know if we’ll ever go back...at least not anytime soon.” 

“Oh.” That’s not the answer she wanted to hear. What if her mum does decide to come back? It’s still possible, right? After all, her mummy had always told her how much she loved her. She would scoop Y/n into her arms and twirl her around the room as they both laughed their hearts out. When she was sick, she’d always have her favorite tomato soup and grilled cheese. Every day after school, she’d sit down with her and help her do her homework and then give her an extra cookie if she didn’t complain. 

Then another thought pops into her head. Her mum hadn’t been able to do any of that stuff recently. It had been like living with someone who looked exactly like her mum, but without all the warmth and tenderness that once was. Y/n turns away from her dad and starts to sob silently into her pillow. 

Maybe she isn’t coming back, after all.

The dip in the bed from where her daddy had been finally reinflates. He’s about to wrap his hand around the door before she stops him. She calls out his name, sitting up with her arms around her knees. 

“We’ll be happier here?” 

His shoulders visibly relax, and for the first time in what feels like so long, he offers a sincere smile and nods affirmatively. She hadn’t realized how much she missed his smile until now. There’s something about it that she can’t quite describe, but she feels the safest she’s felt in a while.

***

Her daddy had left for the airport some hours ago. Gramps had offered to bring her along for the ride the night before, but she decided that she would rather not watch him leave. Instead, she pretended to be asleep when he came into her room and kissed her on the forehead. She knows he’ll be back in a few days, but it’s always tough when he has to go. It’s one of the other reasons they needed to move in with her grandparents, her dad has to travel a lot for work.  

As soon as he and Gramps had loaded the car and driven away, she had stepped outside and sat down on the grass. That had been before the sun had totally risen. Now, it’s up high and shining its rays on top of her head. Nan, who had been surprised to see her granddaughter sitting out on the lawn so early in the morning, had asked her if she wanted breakfast, but was told she wasn’t hungry. 

They’ve only been living here for a little over a week. She thought that they would’ve had more time to adjust before her dad had to fly off to wherever it is they’ve sent him. So far, things have been fine...or at least they’ve been as best as they can be. She tries not to think about her mum too much (she’s down to only once or twice a day). It’s a good thing that Nan and Gramps have a million ways to keep her busy.

Today is different, however. She’d had her daddy with her when she felt homesick. Now, she feels alone. 

“Hi,” her head snaps up, and there’s a boy, maybe around her age, standing above her. He has messy brown hair that curls at the ends, his pleasant smile is complete with dimples on either cheek. It’s his eyes, however, that hold her attention. They’re like spearmint, if spearmint is even considered a color. Or maybe they’re the same shade as the stems of her Nan’s petunias. She can’t quite describe it, but she can tell that she likes them. 

“Hi.” 

The boy takes her response as an invitation to sit down beside her. “I’m Harry. Do you want a Freddo?” He pulls out a chocolate frog from his pocket. “My sister always eats chocolate when she’s upset, and she’s a girl, and you’re a girl, and you looked kind of sad, so...” He gives her a lopsided grin.

“I’m not supposed to take candy from strangers,” she says. 

He––Harry––rolls his eyes. “I just told you, my name’s Harry.” He shifts a bit, then points to the house on the left of hers. “That’s my house there.”

“What if I don’t want to believe you?” she challenges, but she’s failing miserably not to grin at how utterly exasperated he’s getting.

With a defeated sigh, Harry shouts towards the house. “Oi, Gem!” It takes only a few seconds for a head to peak out of an upstairs window. 

An older girl, maybe around thirteen looks like she could throttle him. “I’m on the phone, Harry! Bugger off or I swear I’ll––oh, no, no! Not you, Blake.” She disappears back into her room. 

Y/n can’t help but giggle, and Harry turns to her, a triumphant look on his face. “See. Told you.” 

Once again, he offers her the Freddo, but this time, she happily accepts it. They sit in a comfortable silence as she nibbles on the chocolate. 

“I’m Y/n,” she finally tells him. 

Harry studies her carefully. “Are Mr. and Mrs. Y/l/n your grandparents? Because I’ve been over there loads of times––she babysits me when my mum and Gem are busy––but I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before.”

She nods. “Me, my sister and my dad moved in last week.”

“And your mum?” he tilts his head.

Her teeth bite down on the inside of her cheek. She looks at him wearily before staring down into her lap. “It’s just us.”

“Oh,” is all he replies. He stuffs his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. “My parents are separated too. My dad lives in the city, but I still see him most weekends.”

“I don’t know if I’ll ever see my mum again,” she frowns.

What he does next startles her, but she’s more surprised at how quickly she relaxes. He wraps an arm around her and brings her closer so she can lean on her shoulder. “Mum says hugs help a lot,” he says sheepishly, she can feel his eyes on her. She nods against him, and it encourages him to continue. “I’m sorry you can’t see your mum, but hey, you can always talk to me! I’ll be your friend.”

It’s her turn to look up. “You promise?”

“Promise.”

***

Y/n decides that she really likes living with her grandparents. Her and Harry are practically inseparable, spending the better part of the day together (and sometimes during the night when they have sleepovers). This means that she hasn’t cried in a long time, and she’s heard her daddy tell her grandparents that things are finally starting to look up. Her daddy looks better than he has been in ages, he doesn’t have that faraway look in his eyes anymore. 

Harry usually comes over after breakfast, or even earlier when he knows Nan will be making French toast just the way he likes it. They play the entire day, a variety of games that range from hopscotch to pretend, to sneaking into Gemma’s room to dig into her stash of sugary treats because the girl has enough Freddo frogs to last her until next Christmas. He even likes to draw with her, even though she knows he rather be outside running around. 

Sometimes Gramps will drive them into town, and they’ll go to the park or the ice cream parlor or their favorite Chinese restaurant. (She learns that she prefers shrimp over pork fried rice). There’s also a bakery that she thinks is the cutest place she’s ever seen. They serve all sorts of pastries and desserts that the owner, Martha, gives them for free when the rest of the customers aren’t looking. Y/n thinks that’s all to do with Harry. She’s eight, and she can already see how charming her best friend is. She’s glad that she has him by her side. He’s made her time here better than she could have ever imagined.

But soon enough, September comes along, and with it, school. Y/n would be lying if she said she wasn’t nervous. While she and Harry will be attending the same school, he’s a year older, which means she might not see him nearly as much as she’d like. 

“It’ll be fun! You’ll see,” he tells her as they walk to school. “And we have breaktime, too. I can introduce you to all my friends, and you can introduce me to all of your new ones!” He sounds far too excited. 

Y/n pulls on his sleeve, and he clumsily stumbles back a bit. “But Harry,” she whines, digging the toe of her shoe into the sidewalk. “What if I don’t make any friends?” 

“You?” he gasps. “You’re like the most awesome person I know! Just be yourself.”

She doesn’t say a word, instead, she drops her head to look anxiously 

“Come on.” He takes her hand in his. “I’ll be at the end of the hall if you need me.” And they walk the rest of the way hand in hand. 

***

Harry drops her off at her classroom before going to find his. He promised he’d walk down with her for lunch, so at least she has that much to look forward to. When he disappears down the hall, she finally lets herself turn around to examine the place she’ll be spending the rest of the year in. 

The desks are all perfectly aligned, with names of her classmates in bold and colorful writing on cards at the very front. She quickly looks for her name and takes a seat. On the board, her teacher’s name is artfully written in the center. Miss Ferguson. She must have been the one who had greeted Y/n at the door a few minutes earlier. 

Y/n’s curiosity gets the best of her, and she starts committing every feature of the room to memory. The pictures of letters and corresponding objects and animals along the top of the blackboard are just like the ones from her old school. From her seat, she can see the playground, and she fantasizes about all the time she and Harry had spent on the monkey bars and hidden in the tube slide. 

“Do you want to trade notebooks?” Y/n turns in her seat in the direction of the voice. Behind her is a girl with blonde pigtails and an adorable gap between her two front teeth. “My mum always forgets that I don’t like purple.”

Y/n stares down at her own notebook, which is pink with white polka dots. “I like purple.” 

The girl grins widely. “Yay! You’re nice, I like you. I’m Penelope,” but as soon as she says it, her nose scrunches up in disgust. “But I hate being called that. So, just call me P or Penny!” Y/n gives a brief introduction, and the two girls trade notebooks. 

“You’re new, right?” Penny asks.

“Yup,” Y/n confirms, fishing her pencil case out of her backpack. “I moved here at the beginning of the summer.”

“Really? I’ve never lived anywhere besides here before, but when I’m older I want to live in London!” 

“That’s where I’m from,” Y/n says sheepishly. She hasn’t thought much about it, but when she does, she still misses it a fair amount. 

Penny’s hands go to her cheeks as she gapes in astonishment. “That’s so cool! What’s it like? Have you ever met the Queen?”

Y/n giggles. “I don’t even know where the Queen lives!” 

“Ugh, I’ve got so many things to teach you, then.” She and Penny make plans to hang out during breaktime and lunch.

Maybe Harry was right after all.

***

When the bell rings for lunch, Miss Ferguson’s class files out of the room in a somewhat straight-file line. Y/n walks behind Penny, her new friend is explaining all the proper ways to curtsy in front of a prince when a hand reaches out and tugs on the back of Y/n’s collar. 

She spins around, ready to thwack the whomever it might be. “I leave you for a few hours and you’ve already forgotten about me?” Harry smirks. 

“You just surprised me, that’s all,” she says. She’s fallen to the back of the line now. Penny stays back too and walks over to the two of them. “Harry, this is Penny! She’s in the same class.” 

Penny’s eyes nearly bug out of her head and her cheeks flush a shade of pink. “Hi-hi,” she stutters. Y/n stares at her for a moment, unsure where this sense of shyness has suddenly come from. She shakes her head, it’s probably just a draft from an open window. 

“Hi, Penny,” Harry returns kindly. He then turns back to Y/n. “Let’s go down to the cafeteria. I’m starving!” 

“Yeah! Let’s go!” Penny says, sounding much more like herself. Y/n walks in between them, feeling content. 

***

By the time she’s fifteen, Y/n has all she can ever ask for. Her dad doesn’t travel as much anymore, except for trips to the London office once a month, he’s able to work from Manchester. Ava’s seven now, and therefore able to cause all sorts of mischief. In fact, just last night, she’d eaten the entire leftover cake in the fridge when the rest of the family had gone to bed. She claims it was a ghost, but the frosting smeared across her face told everyone otherwise.

Penny’s practically moved in with them. Things at home aren’t always the best for her. Her mum usually spends the days drinking, the nights clubbing, and the early hours of the morning in some stranger’s bed. As for her dad, Penny doesn’t bring him up much. He decided to reconcile with his wife when Penny was three years old, leaving her and her mother penniless and alone. And well, she hasn’t spoken to him since. 

Finally, there’s Harry. He’s still her funny, sweet, and incredibly cute best friend. He’s sixteen now, far more mature than her. While they still spend loads of time together, he has his friends, and she has hers. Although, he does still come around for breakfast on the weekends––Nan’s French toast is still his most favorite thing on the planet––and they usually spend the rest of the time catching up on homework and watching movies they’ve already seen a million times. She loves how she’s never bored when she’s around him. They could be laying on the grass outside her house (much like they usually do) for hours, talking about nothing and everything, and still never run out of things to talk about. 

Except in the last few months. The thing is, Harry’s got himself a girlfriend, Lia, and she doesn’t like Y/n. There’s no logical explanation as to why, but whenever Y/n tries to talk to Harry at school, Lia slips her arms around him, like she’s claiming what’s hers, and glares at her until she has no choice but to retreat. She doesn’t have the heart to tell Harry that his first serious girlfriend is a total bitch, no matter how much she wants to. 

It’s a Friday night, Penny is staying over. She’s lazily flipping through last month’s edition of Vogue on Y/n’s desk. 

“Have you ever been in love?” she asks. 

“We’re fifteen. It’s not like there’s been much opportunity,” Y/n chuckles. She glances up momentarily from her sketchbook. If there’s a punchline, it never comes. She then gives her a look. “Why, have you?”

Penny shrugs. “Sometimes I think I am, but it doesn’t really matter. He’d never see me like that.” 

Y/n doesn’t respond to this. She’s heard stories about the boy Penny’s apparently fancied for ages now, but for some reason her friend refuses to give her a name. If she had to guess, it’s probably Bobby Baker from her French class. They dated for a few months when they were fourteen, but things had ended abruptly. Sometimes she’ll see them talking between classes and while in line for lunch. Her money’s definitely on Bobby.

Not wanting to press her for details, however, Y/n changes the topic. “Harry’s probably in love with Lia. I saw them snogging at the bust stop this morning.”

Penny groans. “They’re so gross!” she pretends to gag. “Oh, Harry. You’re so handsome! Kiss me before our lips dry out! Oh, Lia, you’re so pretty. Take this flower as a sign of my undying affections!” She imitates them, doing it so flawlessly. 

They share a look, and suddenly, they’re balled over in fits of laughter.

“How do they even breathe?” Y/n wheezes into her pillow. It’s not to say that she hasn’t kissed a boy before. It’s just never been as intense––or as nauseating––as that. Besides, none of her boyfriends have last long enough. Harry says that it’s all for the best, according to him, none of them are good enough for her. 

“They’re twos, you’re a total ten,” he had said to her once. She pretended not to feel her heart leap at the compliment. “A ten can’t go any lower than maybe a seven.” She wanted to say that she thought he was a ten, too, but was too embarrassed to say it.

***

Penny leaves early the next morning, but first helping herself to some of the food Nan had just prepared before zipping out the door. She leaves Y/n half asleep and barely functional.

“So, what’s the gossip?” Nan teases her, pouring her a cup of tea. 

“Same old, same old,” she yawns. She breathes in the steam from her mug and smiles. 

Nan places a plate of French toast in front of her. “Talking about the same old things until three in the morning? If only your grandfather and I could stay up that late. Of course, we’d be doing other things that decidedly aren’t–” she pauses, and Y/n’s never been more thankful. They both turn towards the back door. “Ah, and I was just beginning to worry.” 

Harry mutters a sleepy good morning, then stumbles into the seat beside Y/n. He looks at her breakfast, then looks at her. As if they can communicate silently, Y/n pushes her plate towards him. 

“Harry, dear,” Nan starts, making up a new plate for her granddaughter. “How does your mum feel about you spending so much time here?” 

“She’s fine with it,” he says, mouth full of bread. “As long as I bring her back some food, she says I can spend as much time here as I want.” 

Nan just rolls her eyes. “Will that be banana or blueberry then?”

“Hmm...” Harry pretends to mull over the options, but Nan knows better. Y/n watches with amusement as she places both bananas and blueberries on top of the French toast, then places it on a disposable plate and wraps it with tinfoil. 

She turns to them. “I’m just going to pop next door and give this to Anne.” Just before she can slide the door open, she calls one last remark over her shoulder. “Try not to burn the house down. We just had the floors waxed.” 

Y/n continues to sip on her tea, and Harry hums happily around another delectable bite. They sit in comfortable silence. 

“I feel like we haven’t talked in a while,” he says. He looks at her curiously. “Why is that?”

She has to bite her lip in order to stop herself from saying something she’ll regret. “Well, you know. I’ve been really busy lately.” From the corner of her eye, she can see how one of his brows shoot straight up.

“Busy with?”

“You know there’s an art show happening soon. I’ve been spending all my time in the art room.” She knows she isn’t convincing anyone, let alone him. He can read her like a book.

But if Harry is thinking she’s lying, then he doesn’t say anything. “Right,” he says aloofly. Taking another bite of his––her––breakfast, he continues. “Lia’s going to have a few pieces on display.”

This catches her off guard. “Lia’s into art? Since when?” 

He gives her a noncommitted grunt. “It’s news to me too.” He takes her mug from her hands and takes a sip. “But she seemed really interested when I mentioned you were participating.”

“Huh.” She rests her chin on her fist. That’s strange. She’s never seen Lia Hall set foot anywhere near the art room. Lia’s a cheerleader and spends most of her time cheering on the school’s football team, which is how she and Harry got together. Y/n would know if they shared any common interests. At least that way, she could talk to Harry without her grumbling bloody murder under her breath. 

“What is it?” his question pulls her out of thought. She plasters a smile on her face and says it’s nothing. 

***

Her bedroom window is right across from his, and they’ve been using it to their advantage since they were kids. When they both had bedtimes that were too early to ever enjoy the night, they would look out their window and find the other looking right back. They’d spend the night trying to make the other laugh with funny faces and their own little game of charades. 

But as Y/n looks up from her half-finished essay and through the glass, she doesn’t need elaborate hand motions to know that Harry is pissed. She wonders if he realizes where he’s standing or maybe he just doesn’t care right now. He looks like he’s trying to stay calm, but Y/n knows him better than that. While he isn’t one to yell, his voice does get tight when he’s trying hard not to. 

He runs a hand through his brown locks in frustration. She feels guilty for not having the strength to turn away, but she’s just too curious for her own good. If only she could read his lips just to get an idea as to why he’s so upset, but alas, that’s never been her talent. She waits, occasionally working on her essay (occasionally), then lifting her head back up to check up on him. 

When she looks up after a stroke of genius that had promoted words to pour out onto the page, he’s gone. Her shoulders drop in disappointment. Oh, well. At least all she has to do now is proofread. 

“Did you know your nan is making pot pie for dinner?” 

She swivels in her chair, her eyebrow tilting up. “I did.”

“And you didn’t bother to tell me?” he pretends to be hurt as he falls onto her bed. “I’m wounded you would choose to withhold such valuable information from me.”

“I’m sorry?” she chuckles. Closing her laptop, she sits on the floor right beside where his head falls of the side of the bed. 

He turns to her, his upside-down face grinning pompously at her. “Eh, you know I can never stay mad at you.” She thumps his forehead with another laugh, but he only continues to smile.

*** 

Y/n’s always loved art and how it can imitate life in the way the artist chooses. Ever since she can remember, she’s been doodling landscapes and portraits on napkins or just about any plain surface she can get her hands on. She thinks she gets it from her mum. There’s not much she can remember about her, but she does recall her mother’s love for the fine arts. And as much as she tries not to think about her, she’s happy she knows where she gets it from. 

Mrs. Cuomo, the art teacher, says she has a gift, and Y/n tries not to let it get to her head, but she can’t help it! She’s already taken to looking for art programs around England. If she wouldn’t miss her family too much, she’d consider going abroad. 

“Paris seems fabulous, don’t you think? I mean, they have some of the best fashion schools in the world.” Penny muses as they walk around the gallery. “French boys are a plus.”

“Is that where you want to go after college?” 

“Possibly. I don’t know if I’d ever be able to afford it, though.” 

Y/n nods, understanding her friend’s situation.

They continue to browse all the art on display, until stopping at Y/n’s exhibit. She has three paintings. The one on the left is an abstract portrait of Ava that she’d been working on since the last art show. It was inspired by her little sister’s fifth birthday. Dad had bought her the cutest little periwinkle dress with a grey ribbon around the waist. It’s something Y/n would’ve been over the moon for at that age. But Ava being the little rebel she was (and still is) had gotten it all dirty. Right before her party, she came trudging back into the house, a complete mess from head to toe. Y/n’s entitled the portrait Muddy Princess. On the right is a landscape of a forest with the simple name Serene Acres. Finally, the one in the middle is a sideview of a boy laying in the grass. His hands are behind his head and his eyes are closed. He looks relaxed, like he’s never had a trouble in the world. As do all her paintings, this one had started off as a mere sketch born from a vision that she suddenly had just as she had woken up. To be honest, she wasn’t sure if she’d make it anything more than that. But the longer she spent refining it, she just knew she had to take it all the way. There’s something comforting about him. This one in particular is Y/n’s absolute favorite. 

“Oh, you’re totally going to win this year,” Penny enthuses. “I’m not saying this because you’re my best friend and I’d literally give you a kidney, but seriously. You’re golden.” 

“I hope you’re right,” she says nervously. “Mrs. Cuomo said that the judges are going to be a lot more critical this year. I just hope they like my stuff.” 

Penny waves her off, as if she were talking nonsense. “They will.”

“Will what?” A pair of familiar hands land on her waist, and she can’t help but smile when sees him gasp at the wall in front of her. “Woah,” he’s speechless. She pats his arm as she steps away from him, afraid that his girlfriend might catch sight of them. 

“You like them?” she smiles. He nods, still unable to speak. 

“So, where’s Lia’s display?” Penny asks, but Y/n can sense the annoyance in her voice. She knows all about the girl’s hatred of Y/n.

Harry stares blankly, until finally registering the question. “Oh...um. She decided not to enter, after all.” He wraps an arm Y/n once again, and this time, Y/n doesn’t bother pushing him off.

“That seems sudden,” she says.

“Well...” Harry looks left and right, like he’s making sure no one will hear them. “I guess she realized that she didn’t stand a chance.”

This makes Penny snort. “Are we talking about the same girl here? Lia Hall does not back down. From anything. I’ve seen her at the mall fighting over jeans with University kids. She’s scary as hell.”

***

She’s laying on the grass on her front lawn when Harry comes outside and joins her. His body is oriented in the opposite direction so that their eyes are aligned if they were to face each other. He doesn’t say anything more than a hello. His hands are placed on his stomach and his nose wriggles when a cool breeze brushes past. 

“Lia and I broke up,” he suddenly says, but his voice is even and calm. 

“I’m sorry.”

He laughs loudly. “No, you’re not.” He glances at her before facing back up. “I don’t have to be a mind reader to know that you two don’t get along.”

“At least I know you’re not dense.” She bites back a smile. Why is she so elated with the news? Does that make her a bad person? Who’s to say? “She was pretty awful.”

“She was hot, though,” Harry interjects.

“I suppose.”

Silence washes over them. If she were any more relaxed, she’s sure she could fall asleep right here, next to him. 

“They’re beautiful, aren’t they?”

“What?”

“The clouds, Harry. Aren’t they beautiful?” She giggles when he squints at the grey canvas above them. 

“There are no clouds,” he says flatly. He turns his head, their eyes lock.

She swallows, and she’s the first to turn away. With a content sigh, she lets her eyes droop closed. Even without looking, she can feel the way his gaze lingers, like he might be waiting for something more. “You too,” it’s a gentle request, possibly an order. He’s never been able to deny her anything. 

“Alright then,” there’s an amused tone to his voice now. He breathes deeply, his own eyes closing as the air leaves his chest. 

They lay motionless for a comfortable few minutes. Things are quiet between them, and only nature’s melody that plays uninterrupted. 

The wind whistles, and the leaves on the trees dance along with crisp and breezy movements. As the air––which smells strongly of fall’s fiery allure––rubs against her skin and tickles the tip of her nose, another blissful smile leaves a pattern across her lips.

“What do you see?” she asks.

“Not much, honestly. My eyes are closed.” 

She punches his arm. “Don’t be an arse.”

He groans out in pain. “Fine then,” he concedes. “What do you see?”

The image is vivid in her head. “Purple clouds.”

He chuckles softly.

“What color is the grass?”

“Green, of course.”

“That’s boring,” he teases.

She huffs in annoyance. “Not everything needs changing, you know.” He doesn’t challenge it.

“And the sky?”

That’s her favorite part. 

“Tangerine.”

“That’s a fruit.”

“and a color.”

“Why can’t you just say orange?” 

“Because,” she starts in her best ‘you better listen to me or else’ tone. “Orange is a meh kind of color. But tangerine? It’s a bit more exciting.”

“Exciting,” he repeats slowly, as though he were testing the weight of the word on his tongue. 

When she opens her eyes, fully expecting him to be looking at her as though she had two heads, she’s surprised to see that his are still closed. She finds herself studying him. The way his chest steadily rises and falls with each even breath. He looks as calm as she feels at that moment. It’s then she can appreciate just how handsome he really is. Of course, she’s known it for a while (but she’d never tell him that).

So, she turns her head back towards the grey-washed sky and paints over its gloom with an image of their own. 

***

Right before he starts Year 13, Harry’s dad, Des, moves to Boston. Harry tries to act like it doesn’t bother him, but Y/n knows that he misses him a lot. Even though his parents have been separated for a long time, he’d at least had a good relationship with both of them. He and his dad would do “manly” things like fishing and batting at the cages. He keeps telling her that he’s fine, and it’s not like he’ll never visit him, but she can sense that something is troubling him. 

It takes a bit of finesse to get him to talk, and once he does, she immediately regrets it. 

“He wants me to follow him,” Harry says, scratching the back of his head. Y/n thinks she might throw up. Boston...America...it’s just so far away. The farthest she’s ever been is Italy on vacation. 

She stares at him apprehensively. “Do you...umm...do you want to go?” 

Harry doesn’t answer her at first. It takes to the count of five for him speak. “I don’t know. Probably not. I mean...it’s a lot to ask, don’t you think? He’s asking me to uproot my life here.” He gazes at her. “And I really like it here.”

She lets out the breath she’d been holding. She doesn’t think she’d be able to handle being that far from him. He’ll be starting University in the fall, and him going to London already feels too much. Goodbyes aren’t easy for her, and she doesn’t think they’ll ever get easier. 

“At least both parents want you,” she doesn’t realize what she’s saying until it’s up in the air. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean...”

“No, it’s fine,” she shrugs him off. “It’s just, you’re lucky that both of them love you.”

Harry appears to think hard on this. “I love you.”

Her heart stops beating, her eyes double in size.

“What?” 

He reddens, and for once, she can’t tell what’s going through his head. His jaw juggles back and forth, and then he coughs like he’s got something stuck in his throat. He wipes a hand down his face. “I mean, you’re my best friend, of course I do.” 

Just as quickly as it had enlarged, something inside her deflates. “Oh, right,” she tries not to sound disappointed. It’s a little awkward now, but she’s at least comforted in the fact that he values her so much. She nudges her elbow against him. “Hey,” she quips.

He tilts his head.

“I love you too, doofus.” 

***

Y/n’s always thought her dad to be a kind and fair man.

Matthew Y/l/n doesn’t spoil his girls, but he also knows how to reward them for a job well done. He’s also one of those approachable dads, the ones you can talk to about a crush without him getting overly protective. From when she was eight and until now, he’s always been there for her and Ava, and for that, Y/n is forever grateful. 

Which is why she feels like she can discuss this one teensy little thing with him. Now, Y/n, she’s made up her mind about wanting to pursue a career as an artist. Some might say it’s insane! Risky! Financial suicide! But isn’t the threat of failure all the more reason to strive? She thinks so, and she just knows that her dad will too!

After dinner, which is when her dad is at his happiest. His belly is full of Nan’s roast, and he’s sitting next to Gramps on the couch while they watch sports. This is her chance. She’s already practiced on everyone else in the house, plus Penny and Harry, so she has a pretty solid plan on how to approach him.

“Hey, daddy,” she says sweetly, plopping between him and Gramps. He smiles at her and flings an arm around her shoulder. He returns his attention back to the telly. She gives Gramps a look, one so pleading that she thinks she might have just made him tear up, and he clears his throat and excuses himself. 

“I’ve, uh, got to take a shit.” And he stumbles into the hall, Nan’s snorting following closely behind. 

“So, dad, there’s something I actually want to talk about,” she starts, turning so she’s completely facing him. Matthew presses on the remote so that the screen is completely black. He prods her to continue. 

Y/n chuckles nervously. No big deal. “You know how I’m like crazy about my art? I mean, I’ve won three competitions in the last nine months!” 

“Of course, sweetheart. I’ve been telling everyone at work that my daughter’s an artist. You should’ve seen Anthony’s face when he found out you were the one who beat his boy out for the ribbon...”

“Yeah, thanks, Dad.” She can feel herself getting excited. “And I’m so proud that I get to make you proud. I mean, you’ve given me so much, I feel like it’s the least I can do.” On her lips is her most dazzling smile. 

He eyes her suspiciously. “Okay, I’m sensing something else going on here. Spit it out.”

“Well, it’s just that next year is my last year of college, and I’ll be applying to universities soon, so I was hoping that we could talk about me pursuing art.”

“Pursuing art, as in...?”

“Dad, I want to be an artist.” That wasn’t so bad, right? She can see her dad’s face waver in emotion. At first, he looks confused, then maybe a little unsure, but then he’s just unreadable. “Thoughts?” she presses.

“No.”

Had she just heard him right? “What?”

“No.”

“But, Dad–”

“There’s little to no security. The odds of you even making a decent living out of it are practically one in a million.”

“Wait, just hear me out first...”

“I’ve heard enough, Y/n. You’re not going to throw away an education on a hobby.” He sighs, and for a moment, he looks almost guilty. “Look, I’m not telling you to never paint again. I’m just saying that you need to approach this from a more realistic point of view. How about you major in something more reliable––like business or nursing––then minor in what you want?” He continues to ramble on about different prospects, but she’s completely drowned him out by now.

There’s a spot on the rug that’s suddenly the most interesting thing in the world. Where had she gone wrong? He’s never been so forceful with his decisions before. Had she overlooked a portion of her speech? 

“Mum loved art,” she whispers, but it’s just loud enough for him to hear.

Matthew stiffens at the mention of his estranged wife. “Your mother loved a lot of things. A lot more than she ever loved us.” And with that, he gets up and leaves.

***

“I think you should go for it,” she can always count on Harry to support her. 

She sighs, burying her face in his pillow. It smells of coconut and lavender. After her dad had walked out, she’d ran across the yard and had tackled Harry with a hug while he was taking out the trash. He’d given her some water (God knows how hysterical she’d been moments prior) before leading her up to his room so she could calm down.

“What if Dad’s right?” she mutters. “What if this really is just a hobby?” She suddenly feels herself being flipped onto her back, his legs straddling either side of her, his eyes boring into hers like lasers. Thoughts flash through her head, and it crosses her mind that he might actually kiss her. But he remains still.

“Look at me,” he says. “You’re amazing, and you know it. I know it. This whole damn town knows it. If there’s one person I know can make it as an artist, it’s you.”

While his words do encourage her, she’s far more concerned with how close he is. She nods in acknowledgement, and he flops next to her. Both of them stare at the ceiling. She wonders if he ever feels what she feels. 

“I got you something,” he says after a few minutes. He quickly turns and fishes for something under his bed.

“A present?” she doesn’t bother hiding the playfulness in her voice.

He kicks the side of her leg. “Grow up.”

“Can’t, I’m too excited.”

He pulls out a giftbag and hands it to her. “Saw this when I was out with Mum and well, it reminded me of you.” 

Peeking into the bag, she immediately smiles. “Is this...is this a frog?”

“Yeah, because remember when we first met? I gave you a–”

“Chocolate frog,” she finishes. It’s a plush toy the size of a basketball and its body is the same colors as their special world. Harry must’ve picked it out because of it. He’s always been thoughtful like that. It shouldn’t surprise her, but whenever he remembers these little things, she can’t help but feel weak at the knees. She and hugs her new frog to her chest. “It’s so cute! Oh, what should we name it?”

“Well, I feel like there’s only one appropriate name for it,” he winks.

“Kaleidoscope?” 

“That...that wasn’t even close to what I was going to say.”

She giggles, reaching over and bringing him in for a hug. “I’m just messing with you! We’ll obviously be calling him Freddo.” She sighs happily when his arms hold on to her tightly. Yeah, she likes his hugs a lot.

***

It’s the middle of March when Harry’s cousin comes to live with him. Jared is about his age, with the same shade of brown hair, only his is straight as opposed to Harry’s mess of wavy curls. Harry had told her that Jared’s mother (Anne’s sister, Sonya) had just passed away after her battle with cancer, and Y/n’s heart broke for the boy she barely knows. Similar to Penny’s situation, Jared’s dad isn’t in the picture. He’d left him and his mum before he was even born, and according to Harry, Jared’s always been very bitter about it.

Jared doesn’t leave his room much, only for school and for meals. Harry’s the only person he talks to because he wants to, not because he has to. They were practically like brothers before Jared had moved away, which Y/n is surprised to hear since she’s never heard of him before. But apparently when they were kids––way before Y/n moved in next door––Jared and his mum would always come over Harry’s house, and they’d play until one of them had to be forcibly dragged away. She had laughed when Harry had told her the story of how he and Jared had gotten stuck in the tree out back for five hours because the adults were so busy chatting inside.  

Sometimes Y/n will stop by and personally offer him some of Nan’s famous chocolate pie, and he’ll accept it only to give it to Harry once she leaves. Of course, she knows it’s nothing personal against her, it just makes her sad that she can’t help someone who is so important to her best friend. It’s hard for her to see Harry worry so much about him, and she really is trying her hardest to help him out. She doesn’t think Jared hates her, if anything, she always catches him staring at her in the halls when he thinks she doesn’t notice. That’s a promising sign, right?

“I happen to think he’s very good looking,” Penny tells her as they walk to Physics. “He kind of reminds of a young Leo.”

“You said the same thing about Harry last week,” Y/n giggles.

“They’re related, aren’t they? Maybe beautiful genes run in the family.”

Penny looks at her. “What do you think?”

She stares back at her. “About?”

“You know, Jared!” 

Y/n’s lips purse together. She hadn’t given him much thought, honestly. 

***

She’s glued to her sketchpad while sitting on the front lawn when she notices a shadow approach her. Not bothering to look up, she pats the spot beside her.

“Nan says that the pudding will be ready in ten,” she says. 

“That’s...cool.” That’s not Harry.

Tearing her eyes away from her latest drawing, she turns her head and sees the last person she expected. “Jared! Hi!” she squeaks.

He offers her a side grin. “Hey,” is all he says. He looks down into her lap. “You’re really good.”

“Oh, thank you.”

He rubs his hands on his jeans before settling them around his ankles. “Uh...do you mind if I sit here with you? You can say no, I was just feeling a little stuffed up in–”

“Of course! I love company!” she smiles broadly.

“I don’t know, you and that pencil were looking pretty cozy,” he suggests. She quirks a brow at him, but when the signs of a smirk begin to change the way his eyes gleam, she finally gets it.

“Jesus, that’s disgusting!” She doesn’t hesitate to slap him over the head. He sniggers in return but doesn’t say much more after that. Y/n continues to draw, but occasionally she’ll look up and catch him watching her. He immediately turns away, pretending to be busy with a blade of grass, or he’ll start whistling like it’s a sitcom.  

***

It doesn’t take long before Jared finally opens up to her. He’s funny––really funny, even though most of his humor is dirty––and is constantly finding ways to make Y/n laugh. She’s found that he does a nearly perfect impression of Austin Powers, and she enjoys it very much. There are also certain angles that really highlight how handsome he is. His eyes are a deep brown, almost the same shade as his hair. There are freckles evenly spread around his nose, almost as if they’d been specifically placed there. And oh, his lashes! They’re just as long as Harry’s, except maybe even fuller. She imagines what they would look like with a fresh coat of mascara. (She jokingly brought up the idea once, and to her delight, Jared says he wouldn’t mind it one bit.)

Harry seems happy that his cousin appears to be back to his old, goofball self. He’s definitely not as stressed over trying to get Jared out of his room as he had been in the immediate weeks after his Aunt Sonya’s death. Even Anne is starting to smile more. Losing her sister had been difficult for her, but Y/n admires how she had stepped up and took her nephew in without hesitance. She’s almost positive that that’s where Harry gets his selflessness from.

“Okay, real question, would you rather give up all desserts or all cheeses?” Jared asks. He always plays this game with her. She thinks it’s cute, sometimes even thought-provoking if she’s really into it. 

“Hmm, that’s a tricky one. Because what about–”

Both their eyes grow wide. “Cheesecake!”

Her head falls onto his shoulder as she laughs. She doesn’t see how Harry turns away. Although, sometimes she’ll notice how he’ll have this weird look in his eyes whenever the three of them are all hanging out together, but she thinks she’s just imagining it. 

***

When Penny tells her that Jared might like her, she doesn’t totally object to the idea.

***

A few days later, Jared kisses her. It’s one of those kisses that happen when you least expect it. She’s frozen in shock until his lips pull away. It’s strange, she likes the feeling, but something seems amiss. He looks at her nervously, like he’s afraid he’s done something completely wrong. But when she finally manages to get over that initial uncertainty, a grin slowly forms on her lips, and he’s kissing her again.

***

In two weeks’ time, she sees Harry snogging Penny outside his front door. She isn’t sure how to react, but she knows there’s this weird feeling inside of her that she doesn’t like.

***

Her and Harry haven’t spoken more than a few words to each other since they started dating other people. It’s not that she doesn’t want to talk to him, in fact, she really misses him. Saturday morning breakfasts just aren’t the same without him shuffling into the kitchen in his half-asleep state. If she didn’t know any better, she’d think he was going out of his way to avoid her. Penny says that maybe he’s just feeling awkward because her two best friends are dating. (It turns out Harry had been the guy she’d been pining over for years.)

Maybe that’s true, but shouldn’t that make it easier for them to find themselves in the same room? She’s happy that Penny’s finally happy! Things hadn’t worked out with her last two boyfriends because all they wanted was to take advantage of her. If there’s one thing she’s sure about, it’s that Harry would never cross any lines that Penny hadn’t invited him to cross.

When they’re in Harry’s car, she’ll catch glimpse of how Harry takes Penny’s hand over the console, or how she’ll feed him fries from their takeaway. It makes her happy to see them like this. Really, it does.

Jared is just as much a gentleman, too. They haven’t done anything past snogging, and she’s okay with that. She isn’t even sure she’s ready for that type of commitment. It’s not like she has this idealized fantasy about losing her virginity. She doesn’t expect it to happen in the same way as the movies, with candles and a bed full of rose petals, or any of that romantic stuff. If the time’s right, it’s right. All she wants is to make sure her heart’s a hundred and ten percent in it before she lets anyone in. She wonders if Penny and Harry have talked about going all the way.

“Yeah, we’ve talked about it.”

“Oh,” Y/n tries not to sound surprised. “And how did that go?”

Penny gives a noncommitted answer. “He says he’s willing to wait until I’m ready. But the thing is, I’m ready now!”

***

Penny loses her virginity soon after. Y/n is the first person she calls, and it’s a bunch of squealing and bragging about how perfect it all was. How gentle and attentive he’d been, and how she can’t wait to do it again. It takes everything in her to not hang up. She loves Penny to death, but some things––at least in her opinion––are left unsaid.

***

The first time she and Harry get to spend time together, as in just the two of them, is when Jared is stuck in bed with a cold, and Penny is out with her mum. It’s not exactly planned, in fact, she had only seen him from the living room window whilst helping Nan dust the mantel. Deciding she couldn’t let the opportunity pass, she drops the feather duster and runs out the front door.

“Hey, stranger,” she greets, but she doesn’t sit. It’s only now she sees the bottle of beer hanging between his fingers. He usually only drinks when he’s got something messing with his head. 

He nods at her, and gestures to the spot beside him. She sits, but it feels to calculated for them. Usually, she’d plop down, not caring if their knees would brush together. Now, she’s careful to leave at least a few inches between them. And she hates how awkward things feel between them. In a matter of months, they’d gone from being attached at the hip, to barely acquaintances. 

“So, what’s going on?”

He takes a sip from the bottle, his face twitching with disgust as he does so, then takes a deep breath. “Do you ever feel like things should be different?”

A sudden gust of wind lifts her hair over her shoulders. She doesn’t know if the goosebumps running down her spin are from that or the it’s from the magnitude of his question. “Different, how?”

His features soften when he finally looks at her. As in, really looks at her. It feels like so long since he’s done, that it takes her breath away. He doesn’t say anything yet, but she can see in his eyes that there’s something there. 

“Harry?” she whispers.

His eyes drop down to her lips, and he licks his own in reaction. Nothing seems to matter at that moment. If her mind had been juggling with thoughts before this, it isn’t now. All she can think about his him. How good it feels to be so close him, and how she wants to be closer. 

Then it hits her. Jared. She’s with Jared, and Harry’s with Penny. She’d been leaning into him, but now that she’s broken from his trance, she straightens up.

Harry brushes off his disappointment with another sip from his beer. His stare lands across the street, where a pair of children are chasing each other around a tree. He drops his head, his hand wrapping around the base of his neck.

“I’m leaving for Boston tomorrow.”

She nods slowly. “Visiting your dad?”

He lets out a soft chuckle. “Something like that.”

Finally, he stands up, then offers her his hand so she can too. He doesn’t let go right away, and she revels in how good it feels. She smiles down to where they’re holding each other, then stares into his green orbs. 

Pulling on her arm, she’s suddenly trapped in his embrace. She hugs him back, her hands sliding up to his shoulder blades and pinching his t-shirt between her fingers. It’s all a bit confusing, but she continues to cling to him. She feels his nose nudge the crown of her head before he lets go.

He turns around and doesn’t look back. 

She isn’t sure what just happened, but it feels a lot like goodbye.

*** Ten Years Later

“It doesn’t feel right,” she sighs. “I can’t be the only one who’s thinking it.” He shuffles in place, eyes scanning the room around them. “What do you suggest then?”

“Take this to the empty wall by the entrance, then move the Reynalda exhibit closer to the back. It’s our main attraction, we have to make people work for it.”

Angelo nods approvingly, and she calls a thank you out to him as he gets to work. Y/n watches the rest of her staff disperse into their allocated directions, and it’s then she can finally take a moment for herself. Sometimes she feels suffocated, but at the same time so hollow.

There are so many reasons why Y/n shouldn’t be feeling as empty as she does now. After all, her life is pretty damn close to perfect. She graduated university with high honors, she has a well-paying job as director of a prestigious art gallery, and she lives in a beautiful two-bedroom apartment with her adoring fiancé who she’s been with for the better part of a decade. 

She can’t pinpoint when exactly she realized that something had been missing, or maybe this feeling has always existed somewhere deep inside, and she’s just been really good at hiding it. The only person who knows about this internal battle is Ava, but Y/n doesn’t like to bother her too much since she’s busy with coursework, as well as her own problems that come with being nineteen and young. 

Of course, there’s Jared. Her love. Her rock. Her other half. She doesn’t know why can’t talk about this with him. Maybe it’s too much of girl problem, or maybe it’s just guilt. The last thing she wants him to think is that he’s not enough to fill this void in her life. If anything, he’d been able to pick up all her damaged pieces when she just couldn’t. He’s great, more than. She depends on him, and he’s never let her down. 

But if that’s true. Why can’t she just be honest?

***

“Right, I’m heading out now. I’ll see you–” he pauses, and she can see the concern overtake his features from the reflection of the blank television screen. He walks around their living room and kneels in front of her, his hands rubbing her lower thighs with every intention to soothe her. “What’s wrong?”

“I...I don’t really know,” she laughs, then shakes her head. “It’s silly, really. You go ahead. Go have fun with Sid.” It’s her best attempt at a smile, but it’s a weak one. 

He looks at her unsurely, like he’s debating if he should protest or not. She kisses him gently on the lips. 

“Go.” And she nudges him to his feet. Although she can tell he’s hesitant, he eventually concedes, leaning down for just one more peck to her forehead, then he’s out the door.

She needs to find a way to depress this strange feeling. It’s starting to affect too much of her life. A life that she enjoys, thank you very much.

Before she falls slave to her thoughts, she slumps into the kitchen to pour herself a glass of cabernet. Maybe it’s a far too generous portion, but is there ever such thing as too much wine? At least for tonight, the answer is no.

The alcohol burns her throat with its bitter sweetness, and she finds comfort in how it settles at the pit of her stomach. She breathes in deeply. This is just what she needs. It’s all in her head. Stress, probably. 

Just as she’s about to rewrap herself in her blanket, the front door opens and closes with a gentle thud. She swings around, brows curling in question as Jared slips off his coat leans against the nearest wall.

“Sid will understand. You’re the one who needs me tonight.” 

She leans against the arm of the couch, a moved smile playing at her lips because, wow. How did she get so lucky?

***

“I found another grey hair this morning,” Jared says. “Is this what getting old feels like?”

She runs her fingers through his hair. “You’re twenty-eight, Jae. And besides, silver foxes are pretty sexy.” 

“I guess I’m a bit of a Clooney.” And he wags his brows suggestively. If he’s trying to come onto her, it’s not exactly working, but she’s also not completely turned off. This is why they’re good together. After all these years he still knows how to make her laugh.

They’re about a quarter though their takeaway (and she’s so touched that Jared decided to stay home that she doesn’t even say anything about the pork fried rice) when their doorbell sounds.

“I got it, hun,” he says, placing his plate on the coffee table, and grabbing a napkin before greeting the unexpected guest.

Y/n is pleasantly surprised when Penelope falls into the seat beside her. She looks dressed for a date, but the way she blows ferociously into the air, Y/n knows that things haven’t gone her way.

Without asking, Penny helps herself to their food, moaning as she stuffs a spoonful of that same fried rice into her mouth. “If I wasn’t wearing this dress, I would a hundred percent finish this whole thing.”

“You can borrow some clothes,” Y/n offers. Her friend pretends to contemplate, but she’s the first one to stride over into the master bedroom. 

Y/n pulls out a fresh pair of pajamas, and when she turns around, her mouth quirks in a mixture of amusement and suspicion. Under Penny’s dress is the daintiest set of red lace lingerie she’s ever seen. (And she has her fair share of lingerie since she knows it drives Jared wild.)

“Looks like you were in for a sexier evening,” she muses. She tosses Penny the set.

Her friend rolls her eyes. “I’ll make sure he knows what he’s missing,” she says. Y/n isn’t quite sure what she means by it, but smirks, nonetheless.  

“Now...” Penny pulls her hair through the hem of the borrowed shirt, “let’s finish off that food, shall we?”

Jared doesn’t say anything when they get back, either too consumed with his egg rolls or not wanting to interject himself into the conversation. Y/n simply kisses him on the cheek as she settles back into her meal. 

She glances at Penny for a moment, and her curiosity becomes overpowering. “Okay, so I wasn’t going to ask, but I feel like I have to now,” she explains. Penny cocks a brow at her. “What happened tonight.”

“He cancelled last minute. I was already at the damn restaurant when he texted saying something came up.” She stabs a piece of orange chicken. “It’s a bunch of bullocks if you ask me.” Typical Penny. It wouldn’t be fair to say that her friend is prone to trust issues, but it does take a little more effort. Ever since Harry had broken up with her back when they were seventeen, she hasn’t kept a relationship for more than a few weeks because she claims she doesn’t want to risk getting her heart broken again.

Harry Styles had broken her best friend’s heart, then disappeared to another country. Y/n hates him for that. She hates that he threw away all those years of friendship without a proper explanation. She hates that he abandoned her, especially when he knew how insecure she is about goodbyes. 

But not every guy is Harry. There are good ones that will stick by you no matter what, like Jared. Y/n reaches over and brushes his bangs away from his eyes. Penny just needs to find her person, and Y/n just knows that once she does, she’ll finally feel right.

“This is that Ahmed guy from the gym, right? I don’t know, Pen. He’s a decent bloke. Maybe something really did happen.”

Penny pulls a face, like she’s just oversaturated her food with soy sauce. “Wouldn’t hold my breath. He’s got baggage, and he won’t accept that he isn’t happy to carry it anymore.”

That last bit sticks to her. 

***

Her job requires her to have both a deep appreciation for art and a mind for marketing strategy. It had been the closest compromise that she and her father had come to when she had started her plight for a degree. 

After spending the last of her year of secondary school having second thoughts about the plausibility of making it in the art world, she decided that maybe her dad was right, after all. He would tell her to be in charge, to take control of her life. That way, she’d never be blindsided by anything. She’s still around the world she loves––the canvas, the acrylics, the community of dreamers who share their passion with the world––just from a more business perspective. The more she reflects on those naïve teenage years, the more she appreciates the direction she’d took. She has the best of both worlds, in her opinion. A steady income, and a building full of paintings and sculptures and history. What more can she ask for?

“Y/n!” She looks over her shoulder, where Angelo, her assistant, waves some a sizeable file in his hands. He gives her a knowing smirk.

“Good news?” she teases.

Angelo hands her the file. “Sales report can confirm.”

She glosses it over, satisfied with the numbers. Looks like she’d inherited more from her dad than just his advice. “And they said Expressionism was dead.” Their last grand showcase had been an ode to the German Expressionism movement. They had drawn criticism in the days leading up to the event because some saw it as outdated. But that’s just ridiculous. Art is art. And while history remains in the past, it doesn’t mean that it can’t be appreciated. Y/n’s vision for the gallery is embrace both the old and the new.

“Degenerates,” Angelo rolls his eyes. “Anyway, Dax, Narsi, and I are thinking Damond’s for lunch. You in?”

She looks down at her watch, and curses under her breath. “Can’t,” she sighs. “I have to interview the new curator in a bit.”

“You work too much,” he says humorously, but they both know there’s truth stitched into his words. He gives a friendly squeeze to her elbow. “Bring you back sandwich?” 

“Please,” she smiles. He gives her a mock salute before turning on his heel. 

When he’s completely out of sight, she lets her lips fall into a frown. She examines her watch again, there’s still a few minutes until their scheduled virtual call. She uses the time to stroll the halls, something she doesn’t really get to do. Well, not for fun, at least. 

Things are currently in transition, and all of the Maximalism works are finding their way onto her walls. She stops in front of one in particular that just screams color. With its carefully planned, yet freeing mixture of patterns and textures, it’s a piece to tickle the brain. 

“It’s beautiful.” Her eyes widen. That voice. She feels everything from her body to her unsuspecting heart freeze.

Her grip on her own arm tightens painfully. She thinks she might turn blue from her inability to breathe at this moment. 

“I’ve always liked how much of the artist we can feel. It really captures the complexity of character.”

She bites the inside of her cheek. “I agree.” She risks all and looks up, and he’s right there waiting for her. Harry. Her arms drop to her side as she feels herself grow weak.

His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. “Hi,” he whispers, then smiles. That smile. She had tried so hard not to think about how it had once been her favorite image. His dimples have caved in deeper, if that’s even possible. And his eyes, they’re the same brilliant green she remembers. “I saw an ad in the paper and thought I’d check it out.”

Something must be strangling her vocal cords because she finds that she’s unable to make a sound. 

***

“And what did you do?” 

Y/n drops her head to the table, not even caring if it’s dirty. With the day she’s had, it’s the least of her problems. “I was in shock! I-I think I might have screamed at him.” 

Ava snorts into her drink. 

There’s not much about earlier that she can clearly recall, but she does remember how she had fled to her car and driven halfway across the city to her sister’s dorm and dragged her to the nearest pub. Why? Because she couldn’t think of anything else to do.

“Why would he just...show up?” she questions. “It makes no sense!”

“Probably got homesick,” Ava shrugs. “Plus, Dad says it’s been in the work–”

“Wait,” Y/n’s head snaps towards her. “Dad knows?”

The younger woman looks at her as if she were insane. “Duh, he’s the one that approved the transfer.”

“But why am I only hearing about this now?” She feels herself heating up with annoyance, anger, and something else that makes her want to pull her hair out. Ava doesn’t respond right away. She looks down at her now empty drink and watches as the ice cubes into water. 

“Well,” she starts, still not bothering to meet her eyes, “ever since he left, he’s been a bit of a taboo subject for you.” 

Her jaw tenses at that, and she sits back in her chair. That’s a bit of an overstatement. Y/n had reacted the way any person would have if put in her situation. She huffs with frustration. “So, what else is everyone hiding from me?”

“This isn’t an intervention, enough with the dramatics,” Ava says.

Y/n’s lips form into a straight line. She looks over the bar and tuts her tongue. “I need another drink,” she mutters. “Where the heck is Penny? She’s supposed to be working tonight.”

***

After Ava had started going to school in the city, her dad had decided to move into the London office full-time in order to be closer to both his girls. And lucky for Y/n, he’s just close enough to get information out of. She visits her dad during her lunch break because she needs answers.

“Dad, we need to talk,” she demands, bursting through his office door without any regard for just about anything. “Explain to me why...”

Matthew Y/l/n tilts his head at her with a raised brow, and the person sitting on the opposite side of his desk has an expression to match.

“Perfect,” she sneers. “We’re all here, then.”

She nearly loses it when Harry choke down a laugh while getting up and offering her his now empty seat. She takes it, but not before she glares at him and his stupid face. 

Her dad looks like he’s been caught in a crossfire, and he calculatingly smooths down his perfectly ironed tie. Harry takes the seat beside hers, except he makes a point to pull it a few inches away.

“So...” her dad practically sings. “Harry’s back!”

“I can see that.” From the corner of her eye, she sees a smirk. “Why are you even here?” 

Harry doesn’t seem offended despite the harsh nature of her tone. He chances a glance at her dad before turning to her. “Work,” is his first answer. He bounces one leg over the other and leans back against the back the seat. His expression softens. “But I guess I just really missed home.”

She thinks that’s bullshit. No decent person would leave everything behind without a second thought. “It took you ten years?”

“I did what I had to do,” he retorts.

“And that was to just disappear?” 

“This isn’t really the place nor time...”

“Then why bother coming back!"

That manages to crack Harry’s calm demeanor. He looks at her as if she had knocked the wind from his lungs. At this point her chest is heaving, as well. She forgets where they are and that her dad is a witness to this outburst. 

“I, uh,” they both turn to Matthew as he tries to find the words to appease the situation. “I was thinking we could all go out for dinner later?” He’s joking, right? He smiles as her, but with that ‘I’m your father and you don’t have much of a say in this’ look in his eyes. “How about you and Jared meet us around...say, seven? Hey, you know what? Bring Penelope, too!”

“Pen–”

Matthew swivels in his chair and practically hops to his feet. He leans down and kisses Y/n on the head. “Got to get to a meeting. I’ll see you later.” And with that, he’s gone. It leaves her alone with the person she wants nothing more than to get away from.

She doesn’t understand what’s happening to her. There are so many things she feels bombarding her all at once and there’s not one thing she can make sense of. Harry doesn’t say anything. Instead, he’s typing something on his phone. His lips are quirked up in an almost-grin, and she can’t help but feel miffed that he has the audacity to pull such a face in her presence when all she can do is glower. 

“I guess we’ll talk later?” he suddenly says. He slips his phone into his pants pocket. She crosses her arms and rolls her eyes. Like her dad had done, he gets up and starts towards the door. But before she can even hear it graze against the carpeting, he mutters one last thing. “Congratulations on the engagement.”

Her dress squeaks loudly against the leather of her seat because she must have turned too quickly. Their eyes meet, his are difficult to read.

***

“...and I’ve been trying to look for a flat, but the boss works me too hard,” Harry smirks over at Matthew. Her dad lets out a hearty chuckle as he finishes off the last of dessert.

“Well, if you’re really that overworked, it’s not at all obvious,” Penny says with a saucy smile. “Definitely still a catch.” She touches his arm, and Y/n digs her nails into her palm because it makes her feel sick. It’s ridiculous that she’s so bothered by how quickly conversation had flowed between Harry and Penelope. 

Jared has an arm around the back of her chair. He looks bored with the conversation. She can’t tell if he’s irked at Harry (in the same way she is) or because he sees how much her dad likes him. That’s not to say that Jared isn’t well liked by Matthew. He did get his blessing to propose, after all. Yeah, they’ve been engaged for a while now. But so, what? Long engagements are common enough, and it does allow the two participants to fully get to know one another, as well as get close to the important people in their lives. Things just aren’t as smooth between her dad and Jared as she would like, but she supposes that’ll ease over with time. 

“I wouldn’t let my current appearance fool you,” Harry snorts.

“Is that a challenge?” Penny bats her lashes at him. 

Y/n can’t take it anymore. “So!” she interrupts, “Pen, didn’t you go out with that Vogue photographer last night?

Her friend gives her an odd look, but when she sees the rest of the table’s eyes on her, she waves it off. “Oh, yeah. But it didn’t end how I would’ve liked.” She gestures between her legs. “He had a little trouble getting it up.” 

“Penelope Swanton,” Matthew warns, as if she might give him a heart attack. “Parental unit sitting right here.”

Everyone shares a laugh except for Y/n and Jared. The latter just stares at the tablecloth with vague intensity. It’s strange that he hasn’t made a quip all night. He’s usually the one who talks the most...well, besides Penny. 

“Maybe pretty girls scare him,” Harry chuckles. “It happens to the best of us.”

A mischievous glint sparkles in Penny’s eyes. “Do I scare you, Harry?” 

“COFFEE!” Y/n all but screams. “We should order coffee!” She can’t just sit there and watch her friend make the same mistakes all over again. It would be a serious miscarriage of justice is she were to let that happen. 

But she can only stall for so long, and before she knows it, they’re all making their way out of the restaurant. It’s that awkward phase of standing outside and making small talk before someone has the balls to leave. Harry offers Penny a ride, and Y/n has to watch as they get into his car, laughing like he hadn’t broken her heart all those years ago. 

Jared still seems to be in a mood as well, but he plays it off and tells her he’s got a stomachache from the scallops he had as an appetizer. She rubs his back as they wait for the valet to bring their car around, glaring at Harry’s taillights before he turns onto the road. 

***

Y/n manages to not think about Harry for a few weeks. With the newest exhibit opening up, it’s kept her body and mind busy. By the time she gets home, she’s tired and all she wants is to put her feet up and watch reruns of Downton Abbey.

The doorbell rings, and she can’t help but groan because she was just getting comfortable. She looks through the peephole, then shakes her head knowingly. She pulls the door open.

“Don’t you have work?” she asks playfully, but she wishes she could take it back when she sees the broken look painted across Penny’s face. “Oh my god, are you alright?” She guides her friend into the apartment and sits her down on the couch.

Penny suddenly bursts into tears, her face falling into her hands as though she were hiding her shame. Not wanting to distress her further, Y/n gathers her in her arms and lets her cry it out. They’ve been through a lot together, and in all their years of friendship, she’s never seen her look so somber as she does now.  

She strokes her hair, whispering her reassurance even though she’s left in the dark. Penny breaks from her hug and wipes her eyes with her knuckles before looking at her with misty eyes. “I’m...” but she starts blubbering, and nothing coherent can be understood. Y/n waits patiently until she can speak. “I’m pregnant.” 

Y/n feels the color drain from her face while her head fills worry. She can’t decide who she’s worried more about, Penny or her baby. Penny is an adult is capable of making her own decisions, but she can also be reckless. She can barely pay her rent on time and her work schedule isn’t the best either. A baby would mean growing up, but Y/n knows that Penny’s still trying to figure things out. 

Then, the inevitable question bubbles in her throat. “How far along?” Penny sniffles. “About six weeks.”

Y/n feels awful that the first thing she feels is relief. Not Harry’s. “And the father?” 

“I can’t tell him,” Penny cries, she lays her head in Y/n’s lap. “He’s...he has a...” She doesn’t need to finish that sentence for Y/n to understand.

“Penny...” her tone is every bit of disappointed. 

***

She accompanied Penny to her first appointment to the OB-GYN this morning, and the sound of the baby’s heartbeat had been enough to drive both women to tears. It was beautiful, and the look in Penny’s eyes said all that they could. Sure, Y/n had worried about her when she first learned of the pregnancy, but that had immediately changed with just that one look. 

One day, Y/n hopes to have children of her own. She and Jared have opened up the topic a few times, but they never seem to be on the same page when it comes to starting a family. He claims it’s because his job’s hours are too crazy to juggle an infant. He’s the physical therapist for the National Football team, which means he has to go with them on away games. Deep down, however, Y/n thinks he’s afraid that he’ll end up the way his father did. She wants to tell him that’s ridiculous, but she always has to walk on eggshells about that. 

It’s okay, though. Until she and Jared can come to an agreement, she has no qualms over spoiling her new niece or nephew. Auntie Y/n. She likes the sound of that. So much, in fact, that she finds herself outside of a baby boutique on the high street. She wonders if Penny will be having a boy or a girl. 

“So cute!” she smiles to herself when she sees all the onesies on the mini mannequins. Would it be too early to plan Penny’s baby shower? She’s so lost in hypothetical party planning that she doesn’t notice see body before they collide, and warm liquid misses her shoes by mere centimeters. 

“I’m so sorry!” she rushes out an apology. There’s an unflattering brown stain on his otherwise perfect white button-up. She grabs for her wallet in her purse, hoping to at least pay for the damages, but stops when she gets a good look at him.

“You.” 

The world must really have it out for her. Harry looks down at his tainted shirt. “Nice seeing you too.” 

“Sorry,” she says again. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Head in the clouds?” he muses, shaking his sleeve of the last remaining drops of coffee.

She smiles tightly. “Just window shopping.”

He looks at the store in front of them, and his head snaps towards her. “Are you...?”

“No,” she replies immediately. “A friend of mine.”

For some reason, his shoulders seem to relax. He’s still incredibly handsome, though she never doubted that that would ever change. Under his wet shirt, she notices a sizeable few tattoos inked onto his chest. The sight intrigues her, and she has to stop herself from reaching out and tracing them with her finger. 

“Let me pay for your dry-cleaning,” she says, tearing her eyes away from his body. 

Harry shakes his head. “There’s no need, honestly. Don’t worry about it.”

“Are you sure?” She really doesn’t want to be in his debt. “I’d feel better if I could make it up to you somehow.”

“No, really. It’s fine.” Why is he so stubborn?

“I insist.” 

He studies her for a moment. She imagines that she can see the gears turning as he thinks. 

“I’m actually on my way to a viewing, and well...I’m not really sure what to look for.”

She replays his words in her head. “So, you want me to...help you pick out an apartment?” That can’t be right.

“My car’s just over there,” he points with his chin. “What do you say?”

Alarms are sounding in her head, each one screaming a different command between her ears. A part of her is saying it’s a bad idea, that she should stand her ground and stay mad at him because of what he had done. On the other hand, the rest of her––the biggest part of her––wants to indulge in the feeling she has when she’s with him. It’s a crazy mix of fury and joy that isn’t entirely unbearable. 

“Fine,” she concedes, and she brushes past him and starts towards his car. “But only because I feel bad about the shirt.” She doesn’t dare look back. She slides into the passenger seat and buckles herself in. Her stomach is doing cartwheels beneath her high-waisted pants. 

Harry gets into the driver’s seat but doesn’t start the engine right away. He pulls his jacket off and places it neatly on the console. What he does next makes her regret getting out of bed this morning. Her mouth dries as he undoes every button of his shirt and reveals the tattoos she’d been fantasizing about earlier.

“Do-do you mind?” She feels her cheeks heat up, and she turns to the window in hopes to find a distraction. 

“Well, I’m not going to talk business looking like I’ve just been bullied by a barista.”

“That’s completely beside the point!” 

“Well, you can look now, Mother Teresa,” he says smugly. She hesitantly cranes her neck back. He’s now sporting a similar shirt, but this time, it’s dark grey. “See?”

She huffs, then mutters something under her breath. He smiles at her, like he’s just dying to tease her, but ultimately decides not to. She just glares straight ahead.

“Just drive the damn car.”

***

“And this unit is complete with its own balcony which overlooks the Thames,” Mariette, Harry’s real-estate agent says to the both of them. “It sets the mood nicely, don’t you think? And it happens to be very popular with our younger couples.” She sends them a not-so-subtle wink. 

Y/n feels herself flush, and she ducks into the kitchen and pretends to inspect the marble countertop. 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Harry says. He doesn’t seem to be paying that much attention, or if he is, he’s really good at hiding his own embarrassment. Y/n wonders if he’s just humoring the over-zealous agent. After all, he was never the type to correct someone over silly little details. 

Mariette tells them to walk around, get a feel for the place, before excusing herself to make a phone call. Y/n follows Harry up the stairs where all the bedrooms are. There are three, and the master bedroom has its own ensuite toilet and bath.

“What do you think?” Harry asks her.

She glances at the view from the window. It’s beautiful, gorgeous even. The building itself is in one of the nicer parts of town, where the congested London traffic wouldn’t take away from its overall aura. She can already picture him spending the mornings on the balcony with a cup of tea and a book or passed out on a king-sized mattress in the bedroom after a long day of work.

“It’s nice,” she answers truthfully. “But it doesn’t matter what I think.”

Harry looks at her like she’s spewing nonsense. “I asked for your input, didn’t I?”

“Yes, you did. But at the end of the day, it’s your home. Not mine. You might not even stay around long enough to enjoy it.” The look on his face when she lets that last part slip out makes her wish she had just shut her mouth. She leaves him in the bedroom and heads into the hall. She needs to get away. Why couldn’t she have just given him a simple answer? Why does she continue to open up old wounds that she knows she’ll never be able to close? 

Before she can get far, however, his fingers curl around her shoulder. He swallows thickly behind her. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. Until now, he hadn’t apologized. She hadn’t expected him to, and now she isn’t sure how to take it. This should vindicate her, but all she wants to do is curl up and close herself off from the world, even for a little while.

She looks down to her feet, and as though on cue, her eyes begin to fill with tears. Her hand quickly lands on her mouth to muffle a sob.

He turns her towards him, holding her by the waist. In a split-second, she’s wrapped in his arms. She tries to pull away, but her body is too unwilling to lose his familiar warmth. 

“Why didn’t you say goodbye?” she whimpers against his shirt.

His chest heaves. “Because if I did, I’d never be able to leave.” His words shake her.

She pulls away slightly, just enough to look into his eyes. “But what about me?” she asks. “Harry, you were my best friend, and you just treated me like I meant nothing to you.” It made her feel like nothing. Apparently, she’s an easy person to leave behind. First it was her mother, then the person she trusted most. She couldn’t tell you which had broken her more.

“I never wanted to hurt you.” 

Scoffing, “A bit late for that, no?”

“Then let me make it up to you,” his plea is coated with desperation. Every bit of him shines with sincerity that she wishes she could ignore. His touch burns her through her clothes like blue flames. Body and mind are rekindling, and now that she remembers what it feels like to be close to him, she can’t see a version of herself that doesn’t want him back in her life.

“I don’t know if I believe in second chances,” she says softly. His grip on her loosens substantially, and there’s a sudden fear that he’ll let go. “But,” she continues, “you’ll be my first.”

It’s a bone-crushing, heart-enlarging hug, and it leaves her feeling happier than she’s felt in a long time.

***

They’re not the same two kids who would spend every waking moment together, but this is the closest they’ll ever get in adult life.

Harry visits her on her lunch breaks and lets her bounce marketing strategies off of him whilst they walk the gallery. Just like her dad, he has a well-versed business mind. It feels good to be able to talk to him again. It’s like a part of herself has risen after years of sleep and is finally seeing the light of day. Under the fancy suits and numerous tattoos, he’s still the same guy who can listen to her talk for hours without fail.

She’s even had him over for dinner at her and Jared’s place. At first, she was afraid that things would be tense between the two of them, after all, Jared hadn’t talked much during their dinner nearly a month back. To her delight, however, they seemed to pick up where they left off, and spent majority of the night talking sports and all that ‘man’ talk that she can never be bothered to understand. 

If a month ago she had felt empty, she can proudly admit that she’s starting to fill up.

***

When Penny announces that the baby is a girl, Y/n is probably the most excited. She visits the baby boutique she’d been browsing some days ago and buys a rubber duckie onesie with a matching headband, along with four other matching sets.

“You really shouldn’t have to go through all the trouble,” Penny scolds her.

Y/n waves her off. There shouldn’t be any of that nonsense. She likes being able to spoil her best friend’s future child. “I want to. Just humor me, okay? I’m aiming for Auntie of the Year.” She lays all the rest of the outfits on Penny’s sofa.

“It’s true,” Harry adds. “She’s already had the bib made.” Y/n flips him off but is far too delighted by all the pretty patterns to come up with a proper retort. Rather, she tries to sweep Penny into conversation about a real baby shower (and not just the one she’d planned in her head), discussing potential guests and a wish list that she should start setting up on Amazon.

Jared and Penny give each other a look, and the way the former’s jaw tenses doesn’t go unnoticed by Harry but completely goes over Y/n’s head.  

***

“Why don’t you put any of your own work on display?” Harry asks her one day.

“Honestly?” she sighs, “I haven’t actually made anything in...well, almost a decade.”

His jaw drops. “I don’t think I heard you right, a decade?” 

The same amount of time you’ve been gone, she thinks to herself. Of course, now that they’re back to being friends, she would never say it out loud. 

***

Nan had called her up and asked if she and Ava would drive up to Holmes Chapel and help her sort out all the things to donate. They try to visit their grandparents every few months because they are getting to the age where they won’t be around for long. Although, Nan will tell anyone with ears that she’s stronger than she was in her twenties due to her weekly spin classes at the community center. Meanwhile, Gramps is still the same as ever. He still sits in front of the TV and watches highlights of games he’s got recorded on the DV-R, and accidentally knocks over Nan’s petunia’s when he backs the car out of the garage. 

Her childhood bedroom is also how she had left it. Sure, her teenage years had called for a bit of renovation, but underneath posters of her favorite actors and boy bands are the youthful stickers Nan had put up when they had first arrived. 

She rummages through her closet, throwing old clothes in good condition into her donation basket. There are even some that were never worn, and she debates whether she’d be able to use any of it, but ultimately decides against it.  

The top shelf is full of empty shoe boxes and other things she had carelessly thrown up there. Her old sketchbook falls open, face down, at her feet. 

She picks it up and is greeted by the same sketch that had won her first prize in the art show all those years ago when she was fifteen. Her fingers graze over the pencil lines, and it’s like being reacquainted with an old friend. She had spent months on this one drawing, and it had turned out to be her greatest piece to date (the actual painting is still being preserved at the school).

“You know, I always thought that boy looked like Anne’s boy,” Nan says nonchalantly. Y/n hadn’t even heard her come in. 

“What?” Y/n stares intently at the paper. “You think so?”

Ava practically skips in. “Oh, gossiping, are we?” She sounds just like Nan. Y/n can’t help the roll of her eyes. 

“I was just telling your sister about how that painting of hers up at the school looks a lot like Harry.”

“Is it not supposed to?” Ava seems genuinely confused. 

“I mean...it wasn’t actually based on anyone in particular,” Y/n says, feeling the need to defend herself. “It was just...something I envisioned in my head.” She turns back to her closet, leaving Nan and Ava to carry on their conversation on her bed. 

Reaching her arm up high, she feels around the shelf until she pokes something soft. When she brings it down, she can’t help but grin. Freddo. She had almost forgotten about him. After Harry had left, she had gone on a bit of a rampage, and any reminder of him had fallen victim to the trash or banishment to the top shelf.

Nan must notice her smile because she comes up and cradles her from behind and rests her chin on her shoulder. “It’s funny,” she says, and Y/n looks back at her expectantly. “I also thought that you two would end up together, but I guess I was off by a bit, huh?” She kisses Y/n on the cheek and calls for Ava to follow her downstairs.

Y/n stares at the toy as though it held some sort of secret.

***

She’s lucky she’s home by herself––Jared is off at the pub for his and Sid’s weekly meet-up––because now she has time to unwind and be as antisocial as she wants. Work had been stressful, mostly because the exhibit is set to open next week. And really, all she wants is to be under her favorite blanket with a cup of hot chocolate and just be dead to the world.

Even though she thinks that, however, she can’t help but tap on her phone screen every few minutes. Sure, she likes the time alone, but she also likes being needed. Ava says it’s a control thing, but she really just prefers to be in the know. Lately, Penny’s been spamming her with messages and phone calls about the baby or sometimes it’ll be for a little reassurance. Of course, she’s more than happy to support her. It’s brave of Penny to tackle this alone. The baby’s father is completely out of bounds, so she’s told, and Penny says she’d rather her baby grow up with just a mother than in some dysfunctional setup.

Speaking of dysfunction, she hasn’t been able to properly think straight ever since her visit with Nan. What the elderly woman had told her hadn’t exactly shocked her, per say, but it did have her rethink some of the interactions between her and Harry. It’s ridiculous, really. They’d been best friends since she was eight and he was nine. They know each other’s ins and outs, likes and dislikes, what makes the other laugh and cry. They’re simply comfortable. 

Okay. Maybe there had been times where she thought that the possibility of something more was on the table, but that quickly proved to be all in her imagination. She had her boyfriends and he had his girlfriends. She fell in love with his cousin, and he dated her other best friend. Then he left town.

Then he left.

***

Abandoning her original plans for the night, Y/n finds herself at his door. 

“Hey,” he greets her, but his warm smile falters when he takes note of her appearance. “What’s with the look? Are you okay?” She doesn’t answer, she’s too taken by the image of him and the way her heart feels like it might burst from her chest to comprise a full sentence. He doesn’t push her, though. He fishes into the pocket of his sweats and pulls out a shapely object wrapped in purple foil. “I-uh, I don’t eat chocolate that much anymore, but they don’t have these in America, so I’ve been snacking on a few of these a week.” It lands itself in her hand. “Just like when we were kids, right?”

It’s a Freddo. A fucking Freddo. Her fingers curl around it.

“You once asked me if I thought that things should’ve been different,” she says. “What did you mean by that?”

Harry doesn’t answer. She tries again.

“Why did you leave, Harry?"

“It’s been so long, I don’t even remember.”

“Don’t lie to me.” She takes one step closer. He evades her eyes, like he’s afraid they’ll speak on their own. Her stomach tightens because it’s all starting to make sense. His words. That embrace. These feelings that have always existed between them. “You left because of me.”

It’s not a question, but a sure statement. He leans against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest. She slides a hand up to his cheek, forcing him to look at her. When he finally does, she’s sees it. And her gut says it’s not the first time. 

It’s heartache. 

She knows because she sees it every time she looks in the mirror. It’s taken her this long to realize it. That hollow feeling that’s been consuming her, it disappeared the day Harry Styles walked back into her life. Once the anger over what he’d done had subsided, she’s felt nothing but joy since. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” She wants to scream. 

“You made him happy,” is all he says, almost regretfully. “I couldn’t take that away from him.”

“So, you didn’t even consider how I felt? Harry, I would’ve...would’ve–”

“And that’s why I had to leave!” He wipes both hands down his face in frustration. “We would’ve ended up hurting two people we cared too much about.”

“You don’t know that–”

“If I had tried to kiss you that night, would you have let me?” His gaze bores into her. 

Yes. The voice within her screams it over and over. He must already know her answer because he just smiles sadly at the floor. This is why he had done it. He knew that if he had stayed any longer, it would have only been a matter of time before they gave into each other. 

It makes her sick. 

“I figured if I just took myself out the equation, the rest of you would be spared the heartbreak.” He sighs. “And it worked. You and Jared are about to start a life together, Penny’s got her baby. You’re happy.”

She wants to counter him, but she can’t find the strength. “What about you?” she whispers instead.

He tilts his head to the side. “I came back to prove to myself that I could be happy for you.” His jaw slackens, and he doesn’t continue.

She’s toe to toe with him. “And are you?”

The next thing she knows, her back is against the wall, and her fingers are tangled in his hair. His lips feed her, makes her blood come alive like she’s never lived until now. She kisses him with everything she has. Every drop of anger and every ounce of emotion that burns through her veins. His hands keep her body as close to his as possible, yet, they feel so gentle as they caress her curves like she’s made of glass. It feels so right.

And it shouldn’t. 

Just as sudden as it had started, she pushes him away. He doesn’t fight her. Without another word, she leaves his apartment.

*** When she makes it home, Jared is about to get ready for bed. She drops her clothes to the floor, and his soon follow. They fall onto the bed, his teeth gnawing down her jaw while his hand slides down to cup her heat. He asks her if she’s ready once his member is nudged against her opening. She nods, and he pushes into her, just as he’s done many times before.

She tries her best to focus on how good this should feel to have him inside of her, but the more he moves, the more she feels like this is all a mistake. It feels all too similar to when she had given him her virginity. It happened the night after Harry had skipped town. She was upset and wanted to feel something aside from the pain he had caused her. Jared had been there, and things had soon escalated. But it didn’t feel right. Her heart wasn’t in it, and so her body couldn’t give itself the relief it had been searching for.

It hasn’t felt like that since, or maybe she had gotten better at hiding it, just as she’s done with everything else. She had hoped that sex with Jared would put her mind and her heart back into perspective, but instead, she feels even more helpless.

One kiss with Harry had meant more to her than any of this. It fills her with shame because shouldn’t want to be with anyone except Jared, especially when all he’s ever done is love her. 

She doesn’t realize it’s over until he rolls off her with a content sigh, then stumbles into the bathroom. He closes the door behind him, and it’s then she feels the tears start to fill the rim of her eyes. Her thighs clasp together as her humiliation fully sets in. She turns on her side and covers her naked body with the blanket that had been pushed to the foot of the bed. Jared returns minutes later, mumbling a goodnight. If he has something else to say, he doesn’t. It takes to the count of five for him to drift to sleep. 

***

“I need to cancel the engagement,” she says. Ava gives her a circumspect shrug of the shoulders, like she’s trying not to say the wrong thing. Y/n turns to her, hands twiddling the fingers in her lap from stress. “What do you think I should do?”

Ava looks at her, the pity is obvious on her face. “I don’t know, sis.” She rubs her back. “Are you going to tell Jared about you and Harry?”

“I have to.”

***

She doesn’t have the opportunity to talk to Jared until the night of the exhibit opening since he’d been in Spain on a team trip. It’s eating her up, how she hasn’t told him yet, but at least by the end of today she’ll no longer be holding on to something so big. He had promised to come straight to the gallery once he landed back at Heathrow. His flight was set to get in two hours ago, so it’s only a matter of time now. 

More and more people are starting to fill the floor. Most are patrons whom she sees frequently at these events, but there are some new faces mixed in the crowd. She’s lucky that Ava and her grandparents are here to support her, especially when she’ll probably need them afterwards. 

“Hey, don’t look so nervous,” Nan tells her. “The place looks great. You know, I overheard that guy in the red Chanel that he’s interested in buying.” Bless her, Y/n thinks. Nan’s always had a way of diffusing the tension, even when she isn’t aware of it. 

“I’m happy you guys are here,” Y/n says, and she brings her friend in for a hug. 

Nan gives her a confused smile. “Of course, we’re here. We wouldn’t miss it for the world,” she proudly declares, and she elbows Gramps in the ribs when he doesn’t contribute. “Honestly, try to look a little alive.”

“I put on a tie, didn’t I?” Gramps rolls his eyes, but then he sends Y/n a wink.  

“Where’s Penelope this evening?” Nan asks, scanning the room, brows furrowing. Y/n feels a sweat break out. She just hopes that Penny will understand when she finds out about her feelings for her ex-boyfriend. It’s been years, sure, but there has to be some kind of friendship code that prohibits this sort of thing. “And where’s that fiancé of yours? He should be here with you.”

“Probably just got stuck in traffic,” Y/n says, but honestly, she’s reveling the extra time she has to prepare.

Nan hooks arms with Ava and Gramps, and they walk the floor while Y/n greets a few of her guests. Her dad is one of them, no surprise there. He pecks her on the side of the head and lets out a perplexed sound as he gazes at all the art. 

“I feel like I should understand this kind of thing by now,” he muses, gesturing to the portrait of naked man made from duct tape and spoons. “Anything after 2003 is lost to me. I just don’t get it.”

“Are you proud of me?” Y/n shocks herself with the question.

Matthew looks stunned himself. “Why would you ask something like that? You know that I am.” He pulls her aside, so they have a little more privacy. “Sweetheart, is everything okay?” There’s worry in his eyes. 

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” she appeases, “I just wanted to hear it.” Her dad doesn’t respond but hugs her tight. They stay like that for a moment, she’s always felt safe in his arms, until she feels them loosen around her. She looks up at him, his look somewhere else. When she follows it, her heart skips a beat.

“Harry!” Matthew takes his hand and shakes it. “I haven’t seen you in a full two hours!” 

The younger man lets out a slight chuckle. “It’s been unbearable. I just can’t keep away.” He turns to her. “Congratulations.” 

A nod is all she can afford. 

Matthew looks between the two of them, and their situation feels almost familiar. He coughs into his hand and excuses himself as he chases a waiter down the west wing. 

“Can we talk?” Harry asks her. 

She purses her lips to the side. There’s so much she wants to say to him, but she’s afraid of what she might do. 

Against her better judgement, she leads him into her office. She leaves the door open behind her in the off chance that things intensify. She doesn’t need any more guilt on her plate. (But she wishes he wasn’t wearing such a properly fit suit. It’s far too distracting for the seriousness of the situation.)

Leaning against her desk, arms crossed over her chest, she waits for him to speak. 

“I’m sorry.”

“It was both our doing,” she stresses. If you asked her who had kissed who first, she wouldn’t be able to tell you. “We just...got caught up in the moment.” I let my heart dictate my actions.

He looks hurt by her words but doesn’t press her on it. “I should’ve stopped it. I always wondered what it would feel like to kiss you, and when it happened, I...” He shakes his head, and she’s thankful that he’ll never finish that sentence. She’s already heard it in her mind. Hearing out loud would cause both of them too much agony.

“I know,” she rasps. “I can’t stand here and say that I didn’t want it, but–”

“you don’t want to hurt him.” She smiles appreciatively, though, sadly. In another life, maybe they would have a chance. This one doesn’t have a place for them. Even if she ends things with Jared, it doesn’t erase the fact that they’re family. She could never start anything with Harry without him getting hurt. It’s a matter of acceptance now. 

This must have been what Harry had been feeling when he had left. As much as it hurts to remember, she thinks she at least understands it better. 

“I need air,” she says, not wanting to entertain those thoughts further, “join me?” She grabs her phone from her desk. It’s getting late, and she’s starting to worry about Jared. 

They leave her office and start towards the back door that some of her staff use when they want a smoke. She usually avoids it for that reason, but it was getting too stuffy in there. Her lungs will forgive her if she takes this one moment to herself. Her screen unlocks, and just as she’s about to press on her fiancé’s name, Harry pushes the door open and she looks up as the evening breeze brushes her face and then...

“What the hell is this?” She drops her phone to the ground. 

Jared and Penny pull away from each other, but the space between them is nearly nonexistent. The latter meets her with scared eyes that soon begin to fill up. One hand covers her mouth as she chokes on a sob or maybe even fear, while the other clasps over her swollen belly. Y/n’s eyes drift down to it. It clicks. 

“Y/n...” Jared starts, he’s breathing heavily. “Let me–”

“That’s why you couldn’t tell me his name,” she says shakily. It’s directed at Penelope. “You couldn’t tell me because it was him.” The night Penelope had come over unannounced after her alleged date cancellation at the same time Jared had cancelled his own plans. “I’ll make sure he knows what he’s missing.” And that’s exactly what she had done, and right under her nose. They’d have been sneaking around behind her back for months.

“We d-didn’t mean for it to get this far...” Penny tries to explain, she steps out from behind Jared’s shadow. The usually confident blonde has lost several inches of height. She says something else, but it’s like Y/n’s just drowned out all the noise. Her eyes still haven’t left Penelope’s stomach. 

She wants to hate her. She should hate her. But she’s just an innocent victim caught in her parents’ web of lies. Then she grits her teeth at Jared. How far he’s fallen from the pedestal she’d put him on. Now she’s certain that she had inflated his image in her spiraling guilt for having feelings for another man. To think that only minutes ago she was about to plead for his forgiveness for kissing Harry, when all this time he’d been fucking her closest friend. 

“Jared,” his name weighs like venom on her tongue, “I want you out of the apartment by tonight.”

She just runs. Down the alleyway, ignoring all the calls of her name behind her. Harry’s voice is by far the loudest. There’s a thud, followed by a scream. However tempted she is to look back, her legs have developed a mind of their own and lead her towards the busy sidewalk. The bright streetlights burn her eyes, but she doesn’t stop.

She keeps going until she finds the first empty cab. Getting in without a second to hesitate, she closes the door and tells the man behind the wheel to just go. 

“Where to?” he asks her. Her first instinct is to go home and lock herself in her room, but she realizes that she’ll probably have to confront Jared again, and that’s not going to happen. Her second and third options are still at the gallery, completely oblivious to all the night’s revelations. There’s just one other person on that list, so Y/n gives the driver the address. 

***

It takes less than twenty minutes for her to end up in front of a building with bright blue doors and window panels to match. She climbs the steps, one wobbly footstep at a time, but only hesitating once. Her knuckles curl at her sides, until lifting them up to knock against the heavy wood. Light from inside peeks through the curtains.

A woman appears in the open threshold, that faint light from inside creating a halo around her figure. She looks unreal, like something straight out of a storybook. Her ethereal face just as kind as Y/n remembers. It’s the most immaculate she’s ever been. 

Y/n feels herself lose the battle with the emotions she had managed to keep on leash from just one look from her. 

With a whimper, her mouth struggle with the words. “Hi, Mum.”

***

Grace sets her up in the guest room and supplies her with a cup of tea and biscuits. As she’s setting it down on the bedside table, Y/n can’t help but take note of her appearance. It’s been nearly twenty years since she had last seen her mother, but why is that she’s never looked younger? Her eyes no longer have the eternal vacancy that had highlighted her once slack expression. 

She looks happy. 

“Thank god I did the shopping earlier this week, huh?” Grace muses, opening up a new pack of biscuits. Each word to leave her lips feels smooth against her ears. “I’ve developed a bit of a sweet tooth in my old age.” Y/n doesn’t know if she appreciates her efforts to make conversation, but it does give her time to think about what exactly she wants to say. 

They drink their tea in hushed sips, like they’re afraid that any loud slurping might cause some offence. Y/n stares down into the contents of her cup, annoyed that it’s the perfect color. A part of her had wished that she could find something to fault her with. 

“So,” Grace hums, tapping melodically on the porcelain in her hands. “You want to tell me why you’re here?”

Y/n barely lifts her head as her hands strangle the air with frustrated rigidness. “I’ve spent my entire life trying not to become you.” From her decision to follow her dad’s wishes, to keeping appearances for a relationship that she now knows was destined for destruction, she’d made every choice for everyone else. 

Grace doesn’t respond, but her mouth parts with a staggered breath. 

“I wanted to believe that I was happy. I wanted to do what you never did because I didn’t want to hurt the people I was supposed to love.” All the years she’d never confronted these feelings have ultimately resulted to this. “You broke us,” she says, staring her directly in the eyes. “You ruined every image I had of love.” The anxiousness that had put her through hell had to come from this. The truth is, she couldn’t break it off with Jared because she didn’t want to hurt him in the same way that her mother had hurt her dad. That’s it. She ignored every gut feeling that told her it wasn’t right because of the bitterness she felt towards her mother.   

“The choices we make aren’t genetic,” Grace says softly.

“Aren’t they, though?” she shrieks. She bounces to her feet and paces in front of the bed. “Penelope’s mother was the other woman, and now Penelope is pregnant with my fiancé’s baby! You ran away from your family because you couldn’t forget him.” 

By that, she means her mother’s new husband, the one she had left them for. It had been during her last year at university that Y/n had discovered the truth. He had been her professor for her art history class. She recognized him from a picture she had once seen in her mother’s jewelry box. She just hadn’t put two and two together until then. “And I...I can’t forget the person I’ve loved since I was eight. What makes us different, Mum?”

Grace holds her chin close to her body. “I don’t know,” she whispers. “But tell me this. Why haven’t you planned your wedding?”

This causes Y/n’s pacing to cease. She stands at her mother’s knees, blinking rapidly. “How would you know anything that goes on with me?”

Her mother stands up as well. They’re about the same height.  

“I know it’ll make never make up for what I did but believe me. I’ve never stopped trying to be in your lives...even if it was from afar.” Her hand is shaking as she reaches up to cup Y/n’s cheek so she can wipe away her tears. “I was there when you won all your art shows back in school. I was there when you graduated university.” She’s crying her own tears now. “And I was excited for you when you got engaged three years ago.” 

Y/n doesn’t let herself give in. She pulls away. “It was supposed to be a long engagement.”

“Is that what you keep telling yourself?” Grace looks at her pointedly. Y/n’s bottom lip starts to quiver. Her mother grasps her by the shoulders. “Maybe that’s what makes you different from me. You stopped pretending before it was too late, you just hadn’t realized it.”

“Is that supposed to make me a good person?” Y/n challenges. 

“No,” Grace answers honestly, but she sighs with a small smile. “But it makes you a better person than me.”

***

She doesn’t recall ever falling asleep, but she can still feel her mother’s hand stroking her hair as she had laid her head on the pillow. The morning sun shines through the curtains of the unfamiliar room and greet her with slithers of light by her feet. Waking up here feels strange, but she’s experienced comfort that she hasn’t felt in so long.

The rug-lined steps make little to no sound as she makes her way downstairs. From the bottom, she can hear two voices talking in hushed tones from the kitchen. One is unmistakably her mothers, while the other is deep and manly. She isn’t sure how to make approach them, suddenly feeling self-conscious for having intruded. But soon enough, her mum catches sight of her and invites her to take the stool beside her. Y/n walks in, passing her mother’s husband, who smiles kindly at her. She had liked him as a professor before she had found about his private life.

“Good morning,” Grace says. “Lawrence’s just been to the bakery.” She pushes a box full of a variety of goodies. “Eat as much as you want.”

Y/n picks up a croissant and gingerly pulls it apart. She avoids how her mother and her husband gage in her every movement. 

“Did you sleep well?” It’s Lawrence who asks her. She nods. Lawrence and her mother share a look, and through their eyes they seem to converse. It reminds her a lot of how she and Harry had always been able to tell what the other was thinking without having to verbalize. Lawrence finishes up his cup of coffee, then circles around the island and kisses his wife on the cheek. “I’m just going to pop to the store,” he says. She catches the back of his head before he disappears. 

“I thought you said you had just done the shopping?” Y/n asks her mother. The older woman shrugs, continuing to pick at her breakfast. Oh. She sees that there’s apparently more to talk about. Y/n does in fact have a few more questions she wants to ask, if anything more than to talk to someone who knows what she’s going through. She takes a deep breath. “Are you happy?” The words feel awkward as they leave her mouth. Grace looks at her, questioningly. She nods towards the door. “With him?”

“Yes.” 

Y/n’s heart breaks for her father. 

“He’s my best friend,” Grace says dreamily. “I’ve known him all my life. Loved him about the same.” Y/n feels goosebumps startle her skin.

“So,” Y/n treads cautiously, “was he worth it?”

“There are things that I would have done differently when it came to you and your sister, given the chance,” her mother sighs, but when she looks at her with those eyes that are so full of light and what she guesses must only be love, Y/n gets it. “But otherwise I’d choose him all over again.”

***

She knocks impulsively on his front door, not caring if his new neighbors think she’s out of her mind insane. Her limbs are tight with anticipation, especially when she hears the scuffle of feet against well-polished hardwood. Harry stands in the open doorway dressed in a white t-shirt and black joggers, and an adorably confused look floating in his sleepy eyes. But when he registers her before him, it’s like he’d been hit by lightning and suddenly jolted awake.

“Has anything changed?” she asks, almost pleadingly. He just stares at her, frustrating her already exhausted nerves. She hadn’t come all this way after a rollercoaster of a night to not get an answer. “Am I...Am I still all that’s in...” And rests her hand where his heart is.

Her own heart leaps in her chest when his dimples emerge from his cheeks. He lays his own hand over hers, stepping towards her but also pulling her incredibly close. “It’s always been you.” 

And no words have ever made her cry out of shear joy. She laughs, or maybe it’s more of a wet giggle, before throwing her arms around his neck and bringing him in for a scorching kiss. Unlike their first kiss, this one is filled solely with everything they hadn’t allowed themselves to feel. He nips on her bottom lip, and her mouth parts and welcomes his tongue to explore every unchartered inch. He grasps her both her thighs and carries her to his bedroom. 

She can’t believe she’s gone this long without knowing his touch. Every movement of against her skin, and every exploration of forbidden pleasure makes her stomach coil and beg for more. He lays her down on his bed, his body hovering over hers like he’s afraid she might slip away. 

He leans in a little lower, and she gasps when she feels him hard against her hip. “We don’t have to do anything,” he gulps, pressing his forehead to hers. “You’ve been through a lot, and I just want you to know that–” but he doesn’t get to finish because she shuts him up with the fire in her eyes. She loves him for everything he is, even when he’s being selfless to a fault. 

“We’ve waited too long for this,” she breathes against his lips. “Let’s choose us.” 

A low throaty moan surges from of her as he grinds himself against her, sending currents of electrifying energy down to her aching entrance. Her mind becomes cloudier with his every caress. His hot breath against her longing flesh only intensifies her need.

“Please,” she begs, fingers working on the hem of his shirt. “I want you. God, please I want to feel you.” 

He chuckles softly as she whines, pecking her again. “Patience, love,” he teases. His lips glide down to her ear, his breath sending shivers down her inflamed body. “Show me where you want me.” 

Taking reign of his hand and guiding down the front of her front, she smirks at him. His pants become unbelievably tight as she lets him linger over her chest, her head falling back when the warmth of his hand flicks over her pebbled nipple. “You want me between your pretty little tits? Is that what my girl wants?” His girl. Nothing in this moment could sound so perfect than the words to have just left his lips. It’s enough for her to want to bring him in for another impassioned kiss, but she restrains, shaking her head mischievously as he squeezes gently on her breast. She leads him further down, his palm sliding down her abdomen. 

“Here.” She slots her fingers through the spaces between his and their tips graze the base of her dress, toying with the flimsy material until finally slipping beneath. He groans as his skin comes into contact with her pussy emanating all that delicious heat.

“Fuck, you’re so wet.” She rubs against him just enough for him to feel her center through her panties, and he swears to her that he might come then and there. Wasting no time, she pulls his shirt over her head, only breaking their kiss to appreciate all the tattoos on his sculpted chest. When she’d seen them before, it had only been for a quick few seconds, and she’d been far too flustered to take anything more than a peek. But now she can’t help herself, and she lets her fingers dance across the ink, the point of her nails tracing over the edge of every design. She spends the most time on the moth, or maybe it’s a butterfly, she couldn’t say. 

All she knows is that something about it makes her feel at peace, like she’ll always be safe as long as he's there beside her. She tears her eyes away from his chest to find him looking at her as though she were everything that’s right with the world. “You’re so beautiful,” he tells her, and she just beams, eyes looking back at him with such sincerity. 

He kisses the side of her mouth before descending along her body He takes his time, his lips pressing over every possible inch of her, leaving no surface neglected. Where his hands had been prior, he takes an erect mound in his mouth, tongue swirling around in through its covering. Each touch leaves her breathless, her back arching in intense anticipation the further down he goes. When his nose nudges at the bottom of her skirt, she lets out another frustrated whine, and he chuckles softly at how her abdomen sucks in as the stubble on his chin prickles goosebumps across her skin. 

“Please, just. . .” and the final remains of her inhibitions drain from the tips of her fingers and toes. “I want your cock inside me.” 

“Christ, you’ve got a filthy mouth.” And he tears her dress from her body and pulls her panties down her silky legs, leaving her completely bare before his eyes. From a pale green, the color of his irises darkens with a fierce and pounding desire. It sends vibrations down to her pussy and all she wants is for him to bury his face in her dripping arousal. She bites harshly on her lip once he licks between her slick folds. “So sweet,” he mutters, his lips slipping through the barriers to find her sensitive little nub. “I could just stay here forever.”

“Harry. . .” she gasps, fisting the sheets as her hips lift off the mattress. “It feels so good.” Her legs hang over his shoulders as he encourages her to ride his face until she’s begging to release all over his tongue. “Oh god, don’t stop.” 

One of his long fingers that had been drawing small little circles on the inner part of her thigh smooths over her damp skin until it forges its way into her glistening heat. The other hand moves down his own figure, undoing the button of his jeans and sliding past the waistband of his boxers. 

As the knot in her stomach twists with tremendous force, it pushes her closer and closer to the edge. He inserts another finger, the two digits piston in and out of her, working harmoniously with his skilled mouth. She screams out, her back arching to an almost impossible degree. It all becomes too much for her, bursts of light flashing behind her eyelids.  

“I’m gonna come,” she moans, cheek pressed deep into the pillow, eyes shut tightly to welcome the stars as she lets go with cacophonous convulsions. 

“That’s my good girl, come all over my tongue. That’s it, that’s a good girl.”

He climbs back up her body, a content smile awaiting him when their faces become level with each other. Another exchange of ardent kisses, and she feels herself tingle at the taste of her on his lips. Even after her orgasm, she already craves for another, but this time she wants nothing more but to feel him stuffed inside of her. She wraps a leg around his hip, the edge of her foot pressed against the side of his ass as she presses her core into his bulge. 

“I need to be inside of you.” He leaps off the bed to push off the last pieces of constrictive clothing. His cock springs free, flushed red at the tip and just desperate for her amorous touch. 

And he’s big, she had always had an inkling, but to see it in the flesh is a whole new sensation quivering between her thighs. “It’s so big,” her thoughts become vocalized. 

With his knees back onto the bed, she grabs his shoulders and pulls him down lower, his elbows planking on either side of her. “Feel how hard I am for you?” He hisses as her warm hand wraps around him, her thumb swiping along a dribble of precum. She lathers him in his own arousal. “Think you can handle my cock?” 

She’s completely in awe, and her mind runs untamed with fantasies of how it would feel hitting that special spot deep in her cunt, every rigid vein carving its impression in her walls. “You know I can,” she dares him. 

“Fuck.” He kisses her deeply, his hand taking ahold of his cock and glazing it with the remnants of her last climax and gliding just between her wet folds.  “One last time–” he swallows hard as he pulls away from his lips, “–are you sure you want to do this? I mean, I...”

Their eyes meet, a wordless understanding worth more than any spoken language as she cups his cheeks. 

The entire length of him slides into her tight hole until he bottoms out, his balls pressing against her taut ass. She feels undeniably full, never having experienced such exhilaration in her life as Harry’s bare cock stretches her out completely. 

“Just slid right in,” he grunts, dropping his face into the crook of her neck. He bites down and sucks greedily on the spot until he’s made his mark. She gasps in mild pain, but it feels too good to know that she can finally be his. He pulls all the way out, before slamming back in with ease, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as her walls flutter around him. “It feels like you were made for me” She feels marvelously tight, squeezing him for all he’s worth. All she can do is nod, her voice caught in her throat as his thrusts become harder and faster.  “It’s all mine now, your pussy, your lips. You’re all mine.” 

“I’m yours, all yours, Harry.” She wraps her arms around his shoulders. “God, your big cock feels so good in my tight pussy.” Nails dig into his back as they run down and carve crescents into his flexed and sweaty muscles. 

They move flawlessly in sync as she rises up to greet his every thrust with just as much excitement and fervor. Both their bodies are on fire, a pressure building up at their very core and threatening to unravel at any moment. His balls tighten, and he knows he won’t last for much longer. He looks down between them, his cock completely soaked with her with the most sinful sounds resonating whenever he pushes in and out of her delightful heat. “I love you,” he breathes into her ear, his fingers indenting into the plush of her hips. He loses any sense of rhythm he might have started out with, his movements becoming more and more urgent as he chases after his high. 

“I love you.” Her second orgasm fast approaches, she feels it thrill every one of her nerves as though currents of electricity were running through her veins. She’s so close, and her hand slips between their sweaty chests to rub desperately on her clit. Her head is spinning with an aspiration to reach the brink of ecstasy. 

“Come all over my cock,” he pleads as he pushes into her with incredible force. “Want to feel you come around me.”

And that’s it for her. A wave of pleasure crashes over her and she cries out with a high-pitched moan. Her legs hugging him so tightly that he barely manages to move. She rides it out, rolling her hips to feel him continuously poke that special spot. Soon enough, her mind is on a cloud, the rest of her body soaking up the bliss of the moment.

His movements only become more erratic, and the breath leaves her body once he releases inside of her. Hot white ribbons shoot out and paint her walls with the image of a sensational love. It warms her center, her lips turning up in a lazy smile as he remains within her even after the final drop has left his tip. Once they’re heaving chests calm to a natural pace, he collapses on top of her, arms willing their way between her and the mattress to gather her into a tender embrace. She scratches the back of his head and sighs contently.  

“To think we could’ve been doing that for,” and she counts the years on each one of her fingers.

Harry chuckles in between her breasts, then reaches up and plants a quick but sweet kiss to her lips. “How long are you going to be holding onto that one?” She pretends to think, her mouth quirking to the side as her brows furrow in contemplation. “Until we make up for all that wasted time.” 

***

“I got you something.” She looks up at him, her body still wrapped in his arms as they lay naked in his bed. Memories of what feels like another life flip through her head.

“Is this what déjà vu feels like?” 

He rolls his eyes. “Do you want it or not?” 

Smiling, she kisses enthusiastically and nods her head. He gets up, and she has to stop herself from frowning when they lose all contact. She sinks into the sheets and waits impatiently for him to come back. Listening to him rummage through his closet, then to the growling of her tummy–and she makes a quick mental note to ask him to order something for them in a while––she tries to relive every detail from the last few hours in her head. She didn’t know that sex was supposed to feel so good.

“You told me that you hadn’t drawn in almost ten years,” he states, making his way back to the bed, but this time, with a bag clutched in his hands. He places it in her lap, then slips between her and the headboard, arms going back to their initial position. “Maybe it’s time you started back up.”

Y/n opens the enclosed wrappings. Inside the bag is a new sketchbook and a carton of 9H pencils. She carefully grazes her fingers above them. There’s a feeling in her chest, like she’s just been reunited with an old friend. 

“But what would I even draw?” She’d lost all sight of that part of her life, and it seems unlikely that those creative juices will just come trickling back to her now. 

Harry kisses the side of her head, and she leans into him easily.

“Whatever inspires you.” 

It’s just that easy. She closes her eyes and reflects on what has always made her feel any bit positive. Ava and her bluntness; her dad and his sense of duty to his family; Nan and Gramps and their playful bickering; Nan and her proclivity for gossip; Gramps and his hatred for ties. All of them had been a comfort to her, even when she hadn’t realized it. They were part of what had kept her afloat.

Feeling Harry’s heartbeat press up against her back, she knows that she’ll never have to worry about drowning. She opens her sketchbook to its first clean page and lets herself be happy. 

***

“Thanks for meeting us here,” Jared says, offering her a modest grin. “I would’ve understood if you didn’t want to.” Penny nods beside him. Jared had texted her and asked if she would meet them for lunch, so that they could talk. At first, Y/n didn’t think that necessary. What was the point when it was all out in the open now? But with some convincing from Harry, she realized that she had to confront this.

“There’s no moving on if we don’t talk about it.” Y/n takes the seat across from Penny. She looks at the girl she’d consider a sister, studying her rounded and healthier features. Pregnancy looks good on her. “You look good.” 

Penny smiles thankfully. “So do you.”

They talk about everything, even the stuff that feels like it should hurt. But it doesn’t. Clarity exists where it hadn’t before. She tells them that about Harry, and apparently it isn’t much of a shock to anyone, which shocks her. Jared then admits to having had all these doubts about their relationship but had stuck through it because of his own insecurities. That had had hit close to home for Y/n. It’s somewhat of a relief that she hadn’t been the only one who felt that what they had was temperamental. 

“You were there for me when I was at my worst, and for that, I’ll always love you,” Jared sighs, reaching across the table and taking her hand. “But...”

“That’s all we were meant to be.”

He nods sadly, pulling back. His other arm is around Penny’s chair, and Y/n can see his fingers playing with the ends of her ponytail. 

Penny must notice this, and she quickly shrugs him away. “Sorry,” she mutters.  

Y/n shakes her head. “It’s fine,” she waves it off. “This was good. At least now we can all carry on with our lives.” She gets out of her chair. “Good luck,” she says to the both of them. Then she looks directly at Penny. “I know you’re worried about making all the same mistakes as your mum, but...” she smiles, “someone said to me that mistakes aren’t genetic. I know you. And I know how much you love your baby. Just promise me you’ll be there for her.”

With that she turns towards the exit. Before she can get far, however, she feels a hand grab her own. She looks back, and it’s Penny. Her eyes are teary, and her chest lifts erratically. “Do you think that...” she swallows, “...that you’ll ever forgive me?”

“Do I still get to be called auntie?” 

Penny lets out a stifled giggle. “Yes.”

Y/n touches her comfortingly on the shoulder. “Then, one day.”

She walks out of there feeling completely at peace with herself.

***

Two Years Later

The newest exhibit proves to be a hit. It’s smaller than its predecessors, this time only containing the work from a single artist. 

She and Harry walk hand-in-hand, greeting all of guests and just enjoying each other’s company. Gramps isn’t moping as much as he usually does, and she thinks it’s because Nan’s bought him a clip-on tie that doesn’t strangle him around the neck. Ava and Nan are gossiping with some potential investors, while her dad tries to apologize on their behalf. 

On the other side, her mum and Lawrence discuss color theory in relation to one of the spotlight pieces. She catches a glimpse of the civility between her parents when they catch each other’s eyes from across the room. 

“I think it’s the gallery’s best showcase yet,” Harry tells her and kisses her on the lips. “Really, I don’t see how anything might top this.”

Y/n laughs. “You’re just trying to get laid.”

Harry wags his eyebrows. “Is it working?” She doesn’t need to give him an answer with words, so instead, she pulls him by the lapels of his jacket and their lips meet in another sweet kiss. 

They stop in front of the piece in the very back, the one that’s drawn in the most viewers. They squeeze through the polluted crowd until they’re close enough to the front. He wraps his arms around her, and they both admire its beauty. 

Two kids laid out on the grass; eyes closed with content smiles on their faces. The sky above them, a product of their combined imaginations as well as the excitement of hopes and dreams. 

Below the canvas is a placcard with the painting’s information. 

Y/n Styles, Purple Clouds and Tangerine Skies.

***

A/N: HOPE YOU LIKED IT!

[lumosinlove]

Relic Keel

(warnings in tags)

PREVIOUSLY ON RELIC KEEL

Marlene got into college and hasn’t told Dorcas because she’s scared of how she will react.

Lily and James had sex and obviously like each other, but Lily is scared to have attachments on Hogwarts when they’re going to college soon.

Leo and Logan question each other about their pasts without much progress. Logan finds out that Leo hopes to own The Lion restaurant one day, and that his father’s death has something to do with “The Voldemort.”

Saint and Sirius talk about leaving the island and how they met when they were eleven years old. They have sex and avoid more difficult topics.

James and Lily meet at the Gryffindor Club as promised. Lily tells James that she doesn’t want anything tying her to the island, that she hates the fake boundaries that Hogwarts has and that James isn’t crossing them as much as he thinks he is. James understands, even though it hurts.

Saint and Sirius are cleaning the Potter’s pool when James arrives with Remus and Luke. Remus and Sirius have a tense moment in the kitchen, Luke and Saint argue, and Sirius finds out that it’s Remus who sails the Wolfsbane every morning—Remus thus finding out that Sirius notices.

Logan returns to the Carrows to hand over his money and stock up on Crucio. We find out that he works for them in the hopes that they will help him get Finn out of Saint Clair, only the Carrows are angry with him for using their Crucio—they say that Logan owes them now.

Logan heads over to Saint Clair to watch Finn from afar, and swears again that he will rescue him.

part iv

Remus closed his eyes, soaking in the morning sun and the salty air. The wind pushed his hair back as he tightened the rigging, catching the wind. Sometimes his sails felt like his bare hands. Like he finally had something to hold onto, even if it blistered his palms. The sea made him feel alone, in the best way. Usually, it felt like people were always around. He couldn’t go anywhere without running into at least two people from school, or his parents’ friends. Yes, he’s excited for college, no, he’s not sure exactly yet, yes, he’s still sailing, yes, he’s still obsessed, yes, he remembers learning at Gryffindor Club, sure, I’ll tell my mom you say hi.

Solidarity was less exhausting.

The wind buffered and he sighed as he slowed down. he looked back towards Shack Beach. Saint had said they saw him every morning—that Sirius saw him every morning. He wondered if Sirius was watching now.

He couldn’t see anything from this far away. Part of him wondered if he could make this island disappear completely, just for a moment. But it was dangerous to stray that far. Even The Cradle, the small U of islands just off of Hogwarts’ southern coast, was pushing it. Remus huffed out a laugh as he managed the ropes to come about, back towards shore. If that wasn’t a metaphor, he didn’t know what was.

Things on Hogwarts had become complicated in what felt like overnight, even though Remus knew that wasn’t true. They were older now. They didn’t just care about summer vacation. There was college to think about, and then jobs. Hogwarts wasn’t the dream it once was. Remus wanted to see mountains, and huge cities, or snow—and not just for a week on vacation. He wanted to belong somewhere because he wanted to be there, and not just because he had grown up there. He was tired of knowing everything there was to know.

He tied up his Wolfsbane on autopilot, stroking his hand over the side before tugging his shirt over his head and jumping straight into the water. It was cooler from the night, but it was what Remus needed. He held his breath as he found the sandy bottom, his eyes closed. For a moment, he didn’t have to be anywhere. He got to enjoy the ocean and its predictable changes.

When he came up for air, he remembered why he loved this island. That still didn’t mean he didn’t want to leave.

“Are you headed to the museum, sweetheart?” his mother said when Remus came down to the kitchen, freshly showered. He preferred to let the salt linger all day, but he figured he should be fresh for his first day of work.

“Yeah,” Remus held up his keys. “Just looking for some coffee first.”

His mom held up a mug for him, laughing. “Ask and you shall receive.”

Remus smiled. “Thanks, mom.”

“How was it this morning?”

Remus poured some milk into his cup. “It was good. Sun’s going to be strong today. Went near The Cradle—not too far, don’t worry.”

“You know me too well,” Hope laughed, whisking some eggs into a lather. “Well, it’s pizza night. We’re ordering in so, if you want to have some friends over and take it to the den, that’s fine with me. But don’t complain if Jules crashes the party.”

Remus nodded. “Actually, I think we’re going out. If that’s all right?”

Hope nodded. “All right, sure. Be safe, though. Who, uh…”

“James and Luke,” Remus sighed. “Mom—”

“I wasn’t going to say anything—”

“It’s not Luke’s fault,” Remus continued anyway. “His dad, I mean. He didn’t know.”

“I know that,” Hope sighed. “But…Even I can see that boy’s hurting and I barely see him at all.”

“Then shouldn’t he be with his friends?” Remus said.

Hope raised her eyebrows at him, and Remus raised his own right back.

“All right, all right,” Hope said. “You’re gonna be late, I’ll see you later, baby.”

Remus knew he should take the car his parents had given him. He knew he should get used to driving, knew his dad wondered why it just sat in the garage. But here, on the island, Remus liked his bicycle. He liked the warm breeze. It reminded him of being out on the water.

Which, in turn, now reminded him of Sirius Black.

When Remus remembered Sirius, he mostly remembered bruised cheeks and nasty looking cuts. He remembered the hushed way people used to whisper about him, and how, even when he was loud, grinning and well-liked, he was still from Salazar. Sometimes he had eaten lunch surrounded by people, and sometimes he had eaten it alone with his brother.

Remus didn’t understand this island. Was Sirius really so different because he was born a few miles South rather than North? It made no sense—only it did, but only because it was all Remus had ever known.

The Hogwarts History Museum was a pride of the island. Remus knew it well from school trips, and from his own interest. He’d spent many Saturdays there as a kid, gazing at all of the small models of ships and dreaming about what it would be like to sail them, wishing they weren’t trapped behind glass—feeling a little like he was trapped behind glass. A ship in a bottle.

“Hi there, Remus,” Layla smiled at him, green eyes kind and skin a rich, dark brown against the pale pink scarf in her hair.

“Hi, Layla,” Remus smiled. “Having a good summer so far?”

“Sure,” Layla shrugged. “Lots of time here. I saw you win the sailing race last Sunday, congrats.”

Remus smiled. “Thanks. It was real fun. Sorry I beat your brother, though.”

“Oh, Lyle doesn’t mind,” Layla waved a hand. Her nails were painted pink, too. “Don’t worry about it.”

Remus had been friends with Layla since they were little, competing for best in class usually. She was wicked smart and mellow. Remus could always use some mellow, good conversation—especially with James being James and Luke being…well, whatever Luke was now. Layla liked history, and her family owned the museum, which meant Layla told tales that were, albeit tall, fun to listen to.

Remus leaned against the desk, looking around. “This place never changes, huh?”

Layla laughed, clicking a pen. “History doesn’t tend to change that much, R, and so neither do we. Unlike the world out there.”

“I don’t know about that. Nothing ever feels too different out there,” Remus laughed, too. “But I guess you’re right. I’m glad you’re here, though. Or else I’d be sitting behind this desk by myself.”

“I’m glad you’re here, too,” Layla nodded. “What made you take the job?”

Remus snorted as he rounded the corner, picking up his name badge where Beatrice, Layla’s mother and the museum curator, said it would be. “Don’t pretend we didn’t see each other here when we were little all the time. Not to mention at Gryffindor Club. You, obviously.”

Layla raised an eyebrow. “Me and your mom.”

Remus winced and Layla laughed.

“C’mon, we both know you’d be out on your boat all day if it was up to you.”

Remus laughed. “Fine. But seriously. You’re a perk.”

Layla nodded, rolling her eyes with a smile. “Just a couple of history buffs, I guess.”

Remus shrugged. “There are worse things to be.”

The day was pretty slow. A few tourists here and there, taking photo behind the cardboard cutouts that made you look like you were dressed as a sailor, or a pirate.

“Are there really pirates here?” one little girl had asked Layla.

Remus had smiled when Layla crouched down and whispered to her, “careful, there’s one there,” and pointed at Remus.

When lunch rolled around, Remus expected Layla to pull out a bagged sandwich like him, but instead she scoffed and picked up her bag.

“Come on. We have to get out for a bit.”

Remus shrugged. “All right, where to?”

“The Lion, of course,” Layla replied. “It’s the best food on the island.”

“The Lion,” Remus repeated slowly. “You mean—in The Hollow?”

Layla gave him a look. “Oh, you’re not one of those are you?”

“One of what?” Remus said. “No. I’m not, I just… c’mon, you hear things.”

“Hear things? You’ve never been?”

“Once,” Remus swallowed, thinking of the fight. “It didn’t really go well.”

Layla just shook her head.

“History is just one great field of stories, Remus. You’ll never get to the truth unless you listen to them all.”

And so Remus found himself riding alongside Layla on their bikes and right through Gryffindor. The Hollow didn’t have a sign or anything, but you knew when you were in it. Remus almost wished he had been able to see some sort of line to cross, but everything was just suddenly different. Low houses with open doors, people gathered together and laughing. Kids running with surfboards over their heads, towards Shack Beach. It had seemed even more vibrant in the dark the night of the party, even through the tinted windows of Luke’s car. String lights hung over cookouts, and music blasting from speakers. It had smelled amazing, and Remus would have to say Layla was probably right about the food. 

The Lion was just as bright as everything else. It was bustling with lunch-goers, and the doors were flung wide, letting the heat right in. Remus looked around at the people. Some tourists, obviously. Some not. Hollows. Some of them smiled when they caught Remus’ eye, and some narrowed their eyes.

“Hi, Leo, babe,” Layla said as she slid onto a stool at the counter.

There was a blond boy behind it wearing a tank top and a snapback. He smiled as he set some shrimp down in a frier. “Hey, Layla, babe, ça va?”

“Just working. At least I’ve got Remus for company now.”

Remus smiled awkwardly when Leo fixed his blue eyes on him. He really didn’t know what he was waiting for. Something terrible to happen?

Leo only held out a hand. “Leo, nice to meet you.”

“Remus,” Remus said, and took it. He tried not to look at the rainbow bracelet on Leo’s wrist for too long, but he could tell Leo had felt the way his hand tightened. “Yeah—you, too.”

Leo touched it briefly, like an old habit, as he pulled away, giving another smile to Remus.

It didn’t necessarily mean Leo wasn’t straight, but on such a small island, Remus tended to notice these things. He and Luke had figured each other out pretty fast around sixteen. They’d kissed. Once. And then winced, laughed, and shoved each other in the pool. Sometimes Remus wished he and Luke had worked. He didn’t see any other boys coming his way. Leo was smiling at him like he knew what Remus was thinking.

“What can I get you two?” Leo asked.

A boyfriend? Remus thought wistfully.

“Two of your specials, please,” Layla said. “Re, you’re going to lose your mind it’s so good.”

“What’s your special?” Remus asked.

Leo shrugged, but he was grinning. “Like a chef ever gives up his secrets—”

Leo had stopped mid-sentence, eyes going over their shoulders towards the door. Remus turned to look, and a moment later, a brown haired boy was slinging a backpack down carefully between his feet and taking the seat beside Remus.

“Well, look who’s back,” Leo said to him.

The boy glanced at Remus and Layla, then gave a small shrug. “Yeah.”

Leo snorted. “Yeah,” he parroted. “You’re just hungry.”

The boy shrugged again.

Leo sighed, and gave Remus a look that said, can you believe this? before turning back to the stove. “This is Logan guys. Apparently he doesn’t talk today. Three specials. Coming up.”

~

Logan didn’t recognize the boy sitting at the counter. He didn’t recognize the girl either. Then again, he didn’t recognize many people. He didn’t know anyone. Except Dorcas—if that even counted. And Leo. If that counted, either.

The Felix was heavy in his pack, wedged protectively between his feet, and he wished the strangers would leave so that Leo would talk to him. He hadn’t said two words that weren’t him making sure that Logan liked his food, and asking him where he’d been.

Logan was a little annoyed with him for asking that question. It wasn’t like Leo didn’t know what Logan did. Then again, Leo didn’t know why Logan did what he did.

“You guys get the new madness exhibit up yet, Layla?” Leo was asking the girl with the scarf in her hair. “The one you were telling me about.”

The sandy-haired boy looked up from his food. “The madness exhibit?”

The girl—Layla—cocked her head. “Remus, you…you don’t know?”

“Know what?” the boy—Remus—replied.

Layla sat up a little, looking suddenly awkward. “Your mom donated almost everything we have. I mean…it is your family that’s famous for…”

Remus raised his eyebrows. “Losing their fucking minds?”

Layla winced. “Well, yeah, okay, poor choice of words on my part. But madness isn’t always a bad thing, you know. People say people are crazy all the time. Sometimes they’re just extraordinary.”

Remus looked back down at his food. “My family’s not extraordinary, believe me.”

“Usually extraordinary-ness belongs to one person, I’d say,” Leo said. “My mom’s pretty extraordinary. Doesn’t mean I am.”

“You want to stay on this island, don’t you?” Logan found himself saying. Then, he felt his neck heat and he turned down to his food.

“What’s so extraordinary about that?” Layla replied at the same time as Remus said, “You do?”

Leo just laughed, rolling his eyes at Logan. “I’m with Layla on this one, guys, sorry.”

“What about you, Logan?” Layla asked. “I want the museum after I go to college. At least I think I do. Leo wants The Lion, Remus wants to sail the world…” Remus blushed at that, and Layla’s eyes were very green. “What do you want to do?”

Logan found it strange that they were treating him like that. So normally. Logan knew his necklace was on display. It was easier than explaining why people hadn’t seen him around and pretending to be a tourist. That lead to questions. Being abandoned didn’t. And he was. He was abandoned. People didn’t ask. Most probably thought he had just aged out. People didn’t ask. It was better that way. Logan didn’t have any answers. All he had was the memory of that last night with Finn. Finn had returned to their room, eyes wild and voice urgent.

Come on, Lo, wake up. Wake up, Logan, we have to go. Now.

Logan had felt helplessly awake in the first weeks of being out. He was still sorting through what that meant.

Logan swallowed. “I don’t know. I’m—looking for someone first.”

Remus sighed and mumbled. “Aren’t we all.”

“You are?” Leo asked softly.

Logan nodded. “Or, not looking. I’m just…I’m waiting for someone.”

He knew where Finn was, but Logan knew that he could wait forever and he wouldn’t come. Logan had to take what he wanted. It was a lesson he was learning fast.

“Oh,” Remus replied. “Um…cool. I hope you find them.”

Logan just nodded.

“Well, we should head out,” Layla said, rising. “Gotta get back to work.”

“Sure thing, just pay up front,” Leo smiled. “See you later, Layla.” He nodded at Remus. “Nice to meet you.”

“You, too,” Remus smiled back. “The food was great.”

Logan watched Leo watch them leave, then snort. “That guy looked more spooked than a horse with a snake.”

“Isn’t that what Gods are supposed to look like?” Logan replied.

Leo shrugged. “Usually you can’t see their eyes behind their aviators.”

Logan laughed a little. “Right.” he looked back down at his food, realizing he had begun picking his fries apart, rather than eating them.

“I’m looking for someone too, you know,” Leo broke the silence.

Logan did. Only, he hadn’t thought about it like that. Leo’s dad and Finn. Leo’s dad was probably dead. Finn wasn’t.

“I hope you find him,” Logan replied. “Your dad.”

The Lion was in full swing now, the lunchtime rush loud and boisterous. Leo had a tank top on, and Logan thought he looked a little tired. Sleeplessness showed easily on his skin.

“Do you have to run?” Leo asked instead of responding. “And hide? Like, from the police?”

Logan sat up, instinctively looking behind him. “I assumed I would have to. But…it hasn’t been that difficult.” He laughed a humorless laugh. “I guess I keep overestimating how much people actually care about me. Maybe I should have learned something by now.”

“Maybe you’re just looking at the wrong people,” Leo said quickly, and looked up with a smile, a small one, then down again. “I know a few others who got out. They don’t seem to have trouble, so, you know, if you needed a job or something, you could work in my mom’s workshop. With me. Or here. I’m sure Celeste and Pascal would be all right with it.”

Logan felt taken off guard. “Oh. I…” he thought of the powder packets in his bag. Of the Carrows. How much do you think you owe us by now?

Others? he wanted to ask. What others? 

“Just think about it,” Leo said, and turned towards one of the stove tops to check on some boiling water.

“Yeah. Okay.”

They sat in silence for a long moment.

“It’s a boat,” Leo began suddenly, answering Logan’s yet unasked question. The Voldemort. What his father had been looking for. It was almost like Leo was thanking him for telling the truth about his situation. An eye for an eye. A truth for a truth. Logan sort of liked that consistency. “Was a boat. In the eighteenth century.”

“Oh,” Logan said.

“Biggest story on Hogwarts,” Leo said. “Ten thousand pieces of gold, all fallen to the depths of the ocean just off of Hogwarts’ shores…and never seen again.”

“But if it’s just off the shore…”

Leo smiled a little, shaking his head. “But you have to know where off the shore. Otherwise, you have a whole circumference of miles and miles of open water to work with.”

“And your dad figured it out?”

Leo shrugged, expression closing off a little. “He thought he did.” He cleared his throat as he put an order on the counter for a waiter to take away, and ripped another piece of paper down from the line up to look at. “The Cradle. You know it?”

Logan shook his head.

“It’s a sort of…horse shoe shaped cluster of islands, just off of our southern tip.”

“Salazar,” Logan said quietly.

Leo nodded. “Salazar.”

“Your dad was a treasure hunter,” Logan said slowly. “He was looking for a treasure.”

“Yeah,” Leo said, flipping a crab cake in sizzling oil. “He was.”

“And did he find it? Do you want to find it?”

“I don’t know,” Leo whispered, busy hands stilling. “He never came home.”

Logan nodded.

“He wanted to find it,” Leo said softly. “Really badly. And I… I feel like I should.”

“And was he close?”

Leo glanced up from his knife. “Yes.”

“Leonardo,” a voice came suddenly, entering the restaurant. “What does your mother feed you, you gorgeous specimen?”

Logan froze. He knew that voice.

Leo rolled his eyes, and looked at the newcomers. “Fuck off, Saint. Hey, Sirius.”

“Hi,” a second voice came, and it was closer, almost beside Logan at the bar.

Leo’s eyes caught on Logan’s again, probably meaning to introduce him, but he stopped instead.

“What’s wrong?” Leo asked.

But Logan just shook his head, and then the newcomers—Saint and Sirius—were leaning against the bar. Logan felt the breath beside him catch just as his own had, and he turned to look.

Logan thought the boy standing beside him looked different. Older. More muscular. Squarer jaw. But the same. Same eyes. Same shock of blond hair. Same warm, brown skin.

“Logan?” Saint breathed, his eyes disbelieving.

Logan went to open his mouth, when Saint’s arms were around him suddenly.

“It’s Saint,” he said softly, just for Logan’s ears. He squeezed him tighter. “God, you’re here.”

“Saint?” Logan whispered into his shoulder. No one had touched him like this in what felt like forever.

“Yeah,” Saint said. He pulled back and raised an eyebrow. “Okay?”

Logan shrugged. “I…yeah, okay.”

“Knutty,” Saint’s serious expression morphed into a grin. He leaned against the counter, keeping his palm on Logan. “Handsome as ever.”

Logan blinked at Saint, then at Leo. “Knutty?”

Leo rolled his eyes. “Don’t listen to a word he says.”

“Oh, Logan already knows not to do that,” Saint laughed. He tapped his cross necklace. “We’re practically brothers.”

“Oh,” Leo blinked. “Right.”

The other boy—Sirius—looked just as taken aback.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Saint called in a sing-song voice, looking at Sirius. “Order for us, won’t you? And get us a table? Logan,” Saint nodded towards the door. “Come hither.”

Logan was so thankful to see Saint, he nearly tripped while getting up. A familiar face. A familiar anything. Saint had gotten out almost seven years ago. He’d been there one day, in his bed, in classes, in the courtyard, and gone the next.

“Sweetheart?” Logan asked, glancing back inside at the dark-haired boy, Sirius.

Saint just put his hands on Logan’s arms, eyes more intent than Logan had ever seen them, then on Logan’s cheeks. “Holy shit, how did you get out?”

Logan felt his heart slow, then speed up. He swallowed dryly. “Finn. How did you?”

Saint ignored the question.

“Finn,” Saint repeated, nodding. “Of course. When?”

“About a month ago. And he—he’s still in there,” Logan said. “He’s…And I’m—”

“I hear you,” Saint said. He jerked his head over to the table. “Not now. Let’s get back.”

“Saint?” Logan asked again.

Saint rolled his eyes. “Leave it alone. For now.”

~

Saint hadn’t been ready. He hadn’t seen Logan in nine years, but he’d know his face anywhere. All eyelashes and sad, green eyes. A smile he wore with Finn only. He looked spooked now, and tired. They’d sat at the bar, watching one of Leo’s shifts go and another one come, then moved to a table. Watching it get dark outside now, Saint wondered where Logan had been living for a month.

He eyed the backpack that Logan held so protectively close, and thought of the way Dorcas did the same thing.

Saint had a bad feeling.

“So, how’d you two meet?” Sirius said, gesturing between Logan and Leo with a fry when Leo brought over more water.

“Party,” Leo shrugged after a moment of hesitation. “Shack Beach.” He jerked his head at Saint. “You two were there, judging by Sirius’ shiner. Could hear that fight at my house, probably.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “I didn’t start it.”

“True,” Saint said, wondering how he had missed Logan that night. “Some God—albeit a beautiful one—thought we were selling Crucio.”

Saint flicked his eyes over to Logan. Sure enough, he blushed.

Saint cocked his head. “The horror. Dangerous stuff.”

Leo looked at Saint quietly, and glanced at Logan, then back to him. Saint nodded. Got it, it said.

“Well, would you look who it is,” said a deep voice from behind them, and then there were two strong arms around Saint and Sirius. Pascal placed a loud kiss on each of their heads.

“Eck,” Sirius laughed. “You smell like grease, old man.”

Pascal Dumais laughed. “Grease that feeds you, maybe. And who’s this?”

“Dumo, meet Logan,” Saint said. “Logan, meet Pascal. He owns the Lion with his wife, Celeste.”

“The most beautiful woman in the world,” Pascal said, accent heavy. “Logan, it’s nice to meet you.”

Saint watched Pascal eye Logan’s necklace.

“We were together at Saint Clair,” he supplied.

“Maybe not so loud,” Logan said harshly. “Saint.”

“Oh?” Pascal said, and squinted at Logan. “Who are you with now, mon cher?”

Saint watched Logan open his mouth, frozen, and was about to speak up when—

“Me,” Leo cut in. He looked down at the carrots he was chopping as he said it. “Me and my mom.”

Oh, Saint thought.

“Oh, Leonardo,” Saint sighed. “Un ange.”

“Not my name,” Leo said.

“I know.”

“Yeah,” Logan replied to Pascal’s still questioning gaze. “Yeah.”

“I see,” Pascal nodded. “Well, I’m happy you and your mother will have a helping hand now. I miss your father dearly, mon fils.” He smiled sadly at Leo.

Leo just nodded. “Yeah.”

���Him and his treasure, eh?” Pascal said. “A wonderful man. I miss going out on that boat of his.”

Leo’s smile was small, but fond. “Those were some of his favorite mornings.”

“Treasure?” Sirius asked.

“Black!” a new voice shouted. “Thank fuck.”

Saint looked up when Sirius did. James and Remus were barreling towards them from the dark outside.

“Good lord,” Saint said. “Rain, from Olympus. Water my crops, why don’t you.”

“James?” Sirius said. “What are you—”

James and Remus walked right up to their table—Remus looking slightly more reluctant. “We have a question.”

“How did you know we were here?” Sirius raised an eyebrow. “I mean, just…it’s a little out of your way, non?”

“Remus came here earlier, and when I told him—well, you’ll see—he said maybe you’d be here.”

Saint watched Sirius’ eyes narrow at Remus, confused. “Okay…”

“Well, it’s good to see you again, tweedle-hot,” Saint said to Remus. “Up close this time. We actually though you were going to sail right out of sight this morning.”

Sirius stepped on his toe beneath the table.

“Excuse me?” Remus choked out. “What the fuck did you—”

James blinked at Saint, then shook his head, as if to right his thoughts. “All right, setting every strange thing that comes out of your mouth aside for a moment —where is Dorcas?”

“Meadowes?” Logan chimed in.

James’ eyes turned on him. “You know her?”

Saint raised his hand. “I have the same question.”

“Well,” Logan hesitated. “Sure.”

“And she sells Felix,” James said, as if trying to confirm the information.

Logan narrowed his eyes. “Says you.”

James sighed. “I’m not here to turn her in, Jesus, I just have a question.”

“Do…” Sirius was looking at Logan. “Do you sell…”

“What kind of question?” Saint cut in.

Remus spoke up. “A does-she-deal-to-Luke type of question.”

Saint laughed. “Deveaux?”

“You know who Luke is, Saint,” Remus sighed.

“Well, yeah I do, Lupin, he tried to buy off me,” Saint shook his head with a tisking sound. “Turns out he’s a prejudice piece of eye candy. Who knew.”

“Come on,” James sighed, rubbing his eyes beneath his glasses. “Please, Sirius, come on.”

Sirius shrugged. “We don’t know who Dorcas deals to. We’re not involved.”

“If you did would you tell us?”

Sirius smiled, just a little. “Probably not. But I really don’t know.”

James sighed, sagging away from the table. He looked at Remus. “Fuck.”

“What were you hoping to accomplish here?” Sirius asked slowly.

“We—” Remus said, then sighed, too. “We were going to see if she would agree to stop. If it was her, if she would stop giving it to him.”

“We’d pay her,” James added. “Obviously.”

Saint scoffed, and Logan laughed a little, too, from beside him.

“Obviously,” Saint mimicked.

“We just meant—” Remus began.

“We know what you meant,” Sirius said.

Saint popped a fry into his mouth. “If we’ll clean your pools for a few bucks, we’ll grant you three wishes, too.”

“Jesus, Saint,” James groaned.

“Mary. Joseph—”

James ran his hands through his hair. “We’re sorry, we misspoke. We’re just trying to help our friend. His dad got taken to jail, his mom pops pills all day and night.  That’s already draining what little money the bank didn’t seize and if he wants to do anything with his life he needs a straight head. Just—fuck, we’re just asking.”

Saint prided himself on gathering information, but most of that were things he didn’t know. Luke’s dad had got taken away. But the pills? The financial distress? All of that paired with that guarded snarl the boy always seemed to wear…it almost made Saint feel sorry for Luke Deveaux. He almost said so.

Instead, he said, while twirling the cross around his neck. “Wow, he must feel like an orphan or something.”

“All right,” Remus sighed. “James, let’s just go.”

“What does he look like?” Logan said suddenly before they could turn to leave.

James looked a him warily. “Um. Sort of blond-ish. More brown-haired, I guess. Big guy, built and tall and all that. Oh, he’s got this green spot in one eye.”

Logan nodded. James raised an eyebrow. Saint waited.

“How much will you pay me to stop selling to him?” Logan finally said. He rose as he did, slinging his backpack over one shoulder. “That’s a lot out of my pocket.”

“Logan,” Saint said, but Logan didn’t look at him.

James blinked. “I—oh. Oh, uh—God, what do you want? Two hundred?”

"One grand,” Logan said.

James laughed. “Dude. Who the fuck are you? No, I don’t have that much just—on me.”

“Logan,” Saint warned again, and this time Logan did look at him. Saint shook his head softly.

“Fine,” Logan said through his teeth, and held out his hand. “Two.”

James took his wallet out and handed over the cash.

“Thanks,” Remus said from a little behind James’ shoulder. “Really.”

Logan just nodded, shoved the bills into his pocket, and headed for the door.

“Pardon,” Saint sent a grin to them all, and followed him.

Once they were outside, Saint gave him a wack on the back of the head.

“Fuck,” Logan swore. “S—”

“You get out of that shit-hole and you go around selling Crucio? To Gods?”

“I—”

“I mean, seriously, what the fuck was that? Do you know how not careful that was?”

“I don’t even know who that boy is,” Logan bit back.

Saint blinked. “What?”

Logan looked out towards the ocean where they could hear the waves crashing against the shore. “He offered to pay, and so I told him what he wanted to hear. When his friend shows up hallucinating next, that’s their problem.”

Saint scoffed. “Fine, okay, clever boy. But you do sell Crucio.”

“Felix,” Logan countered. “And yes.”

“Crucio. And no.”

Logan shrugged. “I need the money.”

“For what?”

Logan looked at him and, this time, his eyes were hard. Desperate. “For Finn.”

Saint froze. He opened his mouth, and then closed it. “Excuse me?”

“If I can get enough cash, I can get Finn,” Logan said.

Saint stared at him, and then Saint laughed. Then, he laughed louder.

“You’re shitting me,” Saint said. “You think that?”

“What do you…”

“You think you can buy Finn out?” Saint repeated incredulously. “You think you can walk back in there and buy Finn out.”

Logan took a breath. “He—”

“Logan, Jesus Christ,” Saint snapped. “You walk anywhere near that place and you are never getting back out.” Saint pressed a hand to Logan’s shoulder and shook him. “Do you hear me?”

“I need to do something,” Logan shouted back. “I need to do something, I can’t just leave him in there, he’s everything to me.”

Saint shook his head. “He got you out. Don’t waste that.”

Logan nodded, eyes bright with tears now. “And you know he got punished for it. You know he did—”

“Stop,” Saint spat, glancing around, as if anyone could hear. “Don’t.”

“You could help me,” Logan said, wiping his nose. “Bash, you got out once—”

“No,” Saint said, and turned away. “No. And don’t call me that. Don’t you ever call me that.”

“Please,” Logan begged. “Please—Saint.”

Saint whirled on him again. “I am never going near there, and neither are you. Finn’s still in there, fine. But he’ll need to get himself free like us if he wants it bad enough.”

“I owe money,” Logan began, then his breathing hitched. “I owe them, I took some of it to see—to see Finn and…Bash—Saint—”

“Them?” Saint took a step forward. “Them?”

Logan pressed a hand over his eyes, but Saint walked forward and pulled it away.

“Logan,” he said lowly. “Tell me you didn’t.”

Logan closed his eyes, mouth twisting against his tears.

“Tell me, right now, that you didn’t let the Carrows tell you they’d help you. And that you didn’t believe them.”

Logan shook his head, not in negation, but in defeat. “I need him. I need him, I’m so…I’m alone.”

Saint pulled Logan against his chest and let him cry. The sobs heaved out of him for a long while, until the collar of Saint’s shirt was wet. Until Logan was breathing softly again, exhausted, and until his voice sounded shot when he spoke.

“You’re really staying with Leo?” Saint asked, more gently this time.

Logan nodded.

“I have a place, too. Here, in The Hollow. If you want.”

“With the others?” Logan rasped.

“What others?”

“How many others are out?” Logan said softly.

Saint shook his head, fingers in Logan’s hair. “Just me, that I know of.”

“You still wear it,” Logan said, pulling back to look at him. “The cross.”

Saint let his hands drop with a last touch to Logan’s hot cheek. “So do you.”

They were both silent.

“I’m sorry about Finn,” Saint said rigidly. “I know how much he meant to you.”

Logan’s brows pulled together. “He’s not dead.”

Saint nodded. “Right.”

“Saint…” Logan began, and Saint heard the almost B instead. “Would you—just thinking about it—“

“No,” Saint said, and then turned and went back inside.

Sirius, back at the table, looked at his face, and then at his wet shirt.

“Okay?” he asked softly when Saint sat down.

“Just dandy,” Saint replied, and looked towards the door. Logan was gone.

[stoney-siren]

May I Have This Dance? PART 2 (Sal Fisher x Reader)

 Link to Part 1 

Summary: After you confront Ash on your crush on Sal, she takes you to some friends who she believes to have good advice on what you should do. Meanwhile Sal is trying to work up the courage to asking you out.

Warnings: Swearing, possible mentions of drug use, slight angst?

It had been a few days after your conversation with Ashley, that day she had taken you to go meet up with Maple and Chug, who were somehow excellent advice givers. Not only that, but they knew how to keep a secret too, you weren’t too trustful of them at first, but after a couple of days with their lips sealed, you started to trust them a bit more.

So there you were sitting in your apartment with Ash, your mom was out getting groceries, so it gave you two some time to try and plan out how to ask Sal to the prom. Little did you two know that Larry and Sal were doing the exact same thing on the fourth floor in Sals room.

“I was thinking of either wearing this purple dress I have, or a green one.” Ash commented as she messed with her polaroid camera.

“I think the purple would really compliment your eyes.” Ash smiled at your feedback and nodded her head in agreement.

“What do you think Larry, Todd, and Sal are doing?” She questioned, getting up and sitting beside you at your desk and taking a look at what you were writing.

You have been spending almost the whole day writing down ideas on how to ask out Sal, but everything that came to mind just sounded either cheesy, dumb, or both.

“Probably playing some video game on Sals gear boy.” You responded, sitting next to Sal and watching over his shoulder as he attempted to beat a video game was one of your favorite things to do, you found it adorable how he celebrated every time he beat a level.

“Speaking of Sal, these ideas of yours are starting to get pretty creative!” Ash took the paper you had been scribbling on from the desk and started to read what you had been writing. 

Quickly, you snatched the paper back, even though you appreciated the compliment, you couldn’t help but imagine every way Sal could turn down every idea you came up with.

Sal stood in front of a mirror in Larrys room, messing with his hair and thinking of how he’d style it for prom.

“You should do a bun, I heard a lot of people find those attractive.” Larry commented from somewhere in the room, he himself was occupying his time with a painting he was working on.

“Nah dude.” He let his hair fall to his shoulders as he removed his pigtails, messing with the blue strands in his face.

“They’ll probably like your hair regardless what it looks like! If you wanna go with something mature then maybe you should just wear your hair down.” He continued to suggest from his easel.

“Yeah maybe,” he began, touching his prosthetic. “Larry, what if I want to kiss them?” That caught his attention real fast.

“Then do it bro! Nothings holding you back, unless of course they don’t want to.” He set his brush down and made his way over to the mirror, putting his hands on Sals shoulders.

“Yeah but.. They’ve never seen me without my prosthetic before, what if I scare them?” This was Sals usual nervous thoughts, always afraid of how his appearance would affect others.

“You’re not gonna scare them, trust me. You know (Y/N) better than that, they’ve gotta be the most kindest, and accepting person we know!” Larry tried to reassure his friend as Sal lowered his hand from his prosthetic, turning his gaze to his feet.

“I guess.” Deep down he knew Larry was right, but all the anxiety pent up inside just wouldn’t budge. 

“The dance is in two days, you still have time to think of what you want to say to them.” And that’s all Sal thought of for the next two days, practicing in the mirror, even asking his dad for advice, which ended horribly since Henry was more proud of the fact that Sal wanted to ask someone out rather than giving him advice.

“Mom, I have to get going soon.” You tried to exclaim as your mother snapped another photo of you in your prom dress, part of you was feeling disappointed that you never got to ask Sal to the dance, but he had been avoiding you for the past few days now. 

In fact, you actually started to grow worried that somebody might’ve told Sal about your little crush on him, your bets were on Chug. You could see him somehow spilling the beans on accident and then immediately trying to take it back and playing it off as a joke.

“Oh just one more photo!” Your mother cheered, snapping you from your thoughts, but before your mother could continue on with her photo shoot, there was a knock at the door.

“Those are my friends, can I go now?” You asked in a more harsh tone, trying to hint that you were getting impatient. Honestly, your mother could probably fill a whole scrap book with the amount of photos she had taken of you.

“Oh, fine! Maybe I could get a picture with you and your friends though?” She attempted one last time to get a few more pictures out of you.

“Mom!” You whined as you stepped over to the door, opening it to see your dear friends, Larry, Ash, and Sal.

“Heya (Y/N)!” Ash chirpped, she was wearing that purple dress that she spoke of a couple days ago. Larry and Sal were both in suits, and even though Sal still wore that blank prosthetic mask, he looked nervous for some reason.

“Hey (Y/N), y- you look nice.” Sal spoke, and wanted to punch himself for stuttering. Larry nudged Sal lightly and did his best not to burst into laughter right there.

“Thanks Sal! You look lovely too, are we ready to go? Where’s Todd.” You questioned, looking around for that brainy friend of yours.

“He’s helping Chug out with his outfit, he’s kinda nervous since he wants to ask Maple out.” It was Sals turn to nudge Larry back and give him a look from behind his prosthetic.

“Dude! We weren’t supposed to tell anyone!” Ashley and you both laughed a little, and honestly it was because you both knew Chug liked Maple from the start.

“Trust us, our lips are sealed!” You commented, stepping out of her apartment and waving your mom behind before closing the door before she could come attack you four with her camera.

You and the others stepped out of the building into the night, Larry pulled some car keys out of his pocket and unlocked Lisa’s car, which wasn’t far.

“We’re taking your moms car? Please tell me she’s okay with this.” You asked Larry, he only laughed and patted your shoulder.

“Yeah, she’s completely chill with me using her car tonight as long as I don’t wreck it! Only problem is that one of the seats is unavailable, and there’s six of us.” Larry explained.

“I call shot gun then!” Ash shouted as she rushed to the car in heels, it amazed me how fast she could run in those, even if they weren’t that high.

Chug and Todd had made their way out of the apartment just as Ash got to the car, you could now see what Larry was talking about when he said Chug was nervous. The poor guy was sweating bullets.

“Two people are gonna have to sit in the trunk.” Larry continued to explain, and Todd immediately spoke up.

“Chug can’t sit in the trunk, this nervous wreck will throw up all over Lisa’s car.” Chug tried to protest, claiming he wasn’t nervous, but it was clear to everyone that he was.

“I don’t mind sitting in the trunk.” Sal finally spoke, he seemed less nervous than before has he proceeded towards the car.

“Well then it’s settled I guess, (Y/N) and Sal will sit in the trunk, Todd and Chug will sit in the back, and Ash and I will sit in the front!” Before you could even try and argue with him, Larry was following Sal to the car with Chug and Todd close behind.

Why would you even try to fight with him on this? Being stuck in a small space with Sal Fisher? It was the perfect moment to try and make a move, you supposed you just didn’t want the others to overhear you, or end up having Ash tease the both of you.

“So you decided to join me?” Sal joked as you climbed into the trunk and laughed.

“Guess so!” You sat beside him as Larry closed the trunk and got into the drivers seat, starting the car and putting on some heavy metal music. Nobody really seemed to complain since he was giving everyone a ride.

“How are you feeling, (Y/N)?” He continued to conversation as the car was too noisy for anyone else to hear the two of you.

“Fine I guess, a bit nervous.” He seemed to relate to that as he nodded and stared up at the ceiling of the car, the both of you sat side by side, with your hands dangerously close. His nails were painted black, his hand looked so soft and holdable.

“What are you so nervous about? We’re gonna have fun tonight.” He stated that with enough confidence that it almost felt like a fact.

Silence fell between the two of you as Larry’s metal music started to overtake the car, the sound of Todd reassuring Chug mixed into the ambiance of the car. Slowly, just ever so slowly, your hand creeped closer to Sals, your mind raced with thoughts both positive and negative, what if he pulled away? What if he held your hand? Before your hand could even touch his, Larry took a tight turn, and Sals body crashed into yours.

“Larry!” You could hear Ash yell from the front of the car, your head hit the floor of the trunk rather roughly.

“What!” Larry cackled as he continued to drive the car, the pain in your head instantly faded when you made eye contact with the blue haired boy on top of you in a rather intimate position.

“U- Uh- I- I’m so- so sorry (Y/N)!” He immediately sat up and pulled himself off you as you sat up yourself. Before you could try and say anything, Larry took another tight turn and this time you fell against Sals chest, his back colliding with the side of the trunk.

“Larry! Sal and (Y/N) are in the trunk without seatbelts! Could you be a bit more gentle on those turns!?” Todd spoke up this time, you were just praying he wouldn’t turn back and take a look at the two of you, now smushed together.

“S- Sal I’m sorry!” You could feel your face practically about to burst into flames as you tried to pull yourself up, and his hand wrapped around your wrist to help support you.

“I- It’s okay, it’s neither of our faults, just Larry’s reckless driving.” He chuckled off the tension between the two of you as the car started to come to a halt. Todd turned back in his seat as Chug exited the car.

“Hey, we’re here.” He stated bluntly before leaving the car. Larry opened the trunk for the two of you as the both of you climbed out, Sal gave Larry a punch on the shoulder.

With that, most of your friends vanished into the crowd of students you have known for a while, you stuck close to Larry and Sal though as you made your way into the schools gym, which was now decorated surprisngly nicely by your peers. Students were dancing, chatting, and overall having a nice time.

“Hey, hey (Y/N)!” Ash shouted over the music, she looked relieved that she finally found you. It had been almost an hour into prom, and you have just been standing to the side and dancing to some of your favorite songs. Maple had came by a few times to ask you about the Sal situation, but you didn’t have much to say to her. You just didn’t know how to approach him after that moment in the car.

“Yeah Ash?” You responded to her, you knew your voice was gonna be a bit soar after tonight, but who cared?

“I got the DJ to play a slow song after this one! You need to go find Sal!” Ash yelled to you, instantly your face heated back up almost similar to that moment in the car.

“Why would you do that!?” Now beginning to panic, Ash took you by the shoulders and looked you in the eyes.

“Because the both of you need to just get your shit together and dance!” And with that she pushed you off into the crowd to go find Sal.

Instead of finding Sal, you found Travis Phelps, school bully and your friend groups worst enemy. You couldn’t help but sometimes feel bad for the guy though, since you heard his dad was a preacher and he was always looking a little beat up. Travis gave you a disgusted look.

“Oh, it’s you, I overheard you and that bitch.” He sneered, you wanted to defend Ashley, but he went on. “Do you really think that freaks gonna wanna dance with you?” 

“Shut up Travis, all you ever do is pick on us, I don’t understand what we did to deserve your cruelty!” You replied, clearly upsetted by his comment.

“Whatever, can’t wait to hear all about how Sally Face rejected you tonight!” His final remark made your heart sink, as you heard a familiar voice from behind you. Sal was standing there with Larry close behind, looking ready to beat the crap out of Travis.

Waves of embarrassment washed over you as Sal just seemed to blankly stare at you, was Travis right? Did he really not like you like that? You didn’t want to think about it, you did the only thing you could think of, which was to run away from the three of them and escape to the outside of the school. 

You hated Travis for doing that to you, he let everything you worked so hard on just slip out right in front of Sal. Hot tears filled your eyes as you collapsed to your knees, attempting to frantically wipe your tears.

“Stupid, stupid..” You mumbled, the music from the gym had made its way outside the building now muffled though and more quiet, you always hated how loud school gatherings would play their music. As you attempted to contain yourself, you heard the door you exited from open and close, and a soft and gentle voice call out to you.

“(Y/N)?” Sal called, the sound of his shoes against the concrete floor rang in your ears as you lifted your head.

“Sal.. I’m sorry. I..” You were lost for words, what were you suppoed to tell him? Try and lie? Tell the truth? You soon snapped out of it again as you heard slow music begin to play from inside the gym, and Sal offered his hand out to you a bit hesitantly.

“(Y/N), may I have this dance?” Your heart sank as you quickly took his hand, he pulled you onto your feet and wrapped an arm around your waist, keeping his other hand entangled with yours.

The both of you were so close that you could hear him softly breathe against his prosthetic, your heartbeats were almost in sinc as he began to lead you passively with the song. His eyes remained on yours, and yours remained on his.

“Sal,” you began, he was all ears, “Do you like me?” He lightly laughed at your comment, which made you a bit nervous until he responded.

“(Y/N), I’ve had a crush on you for like, three years. I’ve been waiting for a moment like this since forever.” He spoke softly, you never knew that he could be this romantic, it made your heart just want to burst from your chest.

The song eventually ended, but Sal continued to hold you, slowly he untangled his hand with yours and touched the bottom of his prosthetic. You had always silently theorized what Sal may have looked like under his prosthetic, so excitement overcame you as Sal slowly lifted his prosthetic off his face.

“You’re.. A work of art.” The compliment escaped your lips before you could even process them, his cheeks grew deep red as he sheepishly smiled.

“Thank you, (Y/N), would you.. Or.. Could I um.. Kiss you?” He softly asked, of course you responded with a nod before pulling him into a light kiss. Sal instantly dropped his prosthetic and carressed the side of your face with his now free hand, you wrapped both your arms around his neck as he kissed you back lovingly and passionately.

When the two of you separated, you both were blushing messes, and lost for words. Your moment was at and end when you heard Larry open the door and call out for you two, Sal took your hand and gave you a caring smile.

“We should head back now, okay? Enjoy the rest of the night.” 

A/N: Thanks to everyone who read this :) if you want more Sally Face content lmk!