#(this is part of why i think we NEED to destigmatize scars. i looked at the way people with visible self-harm scars were treated...

[uncanny-tranny]

One of the hardest things to actually accept, in my experience, is that you eventually have to forgive yourself for the harm you did to yourself. A good way to move on from that is just being able to let your past self rest in peace. Don't stomp on their resting spot, they need to be at peace. They deserve to be at peace, and so do you.

[princessgemma12]

^^^^^ This also! Just all of it!

People with scars (of any kind!) Should never be made to feel like they have to cover up. Ever. It's fucked up and I'd never ask someone to hide a part of themselves like that.

That said, it is important to be aware that some do find it triggering--and acknowledging that it's their business and not yours. Unfortunately, and I hate to say this but: real life doesn't (generally) have trigger warnings. It sucks and it's not fair, but people are infinitely complex and there are people triggered by the tiniest things. Walking past unopened fireworks makes me anxious. That doesn't mean people can't or shouldn't enjoy fireworks or that stores that sell fireworks need to have a bright neon trigger warning sign out front. It means that I have a personal challenge to deal with and that I need coping mechanisms and accommodation from the people ACTUALLY IN my life. I need stay snuggled up inside with music or something when there are fireworks going off; I don't nor want people to stop enjoying them. (It would be amazing if I did have a warning ahead of time, though, I will admit that!)

There's nothing gross about sh scars and I respect the fuck out people that have them, for a variety of reasons. I don't want or need anyone to hide themselves. I do, however, need trigger warnings online because I need to avoid real sh scars when possible--those last two words being the key here!

It's tough because this is a really complex topic. On one hand, like all trigger warnings, it helps to protect people. But on the other I understand that it can feel shame-y. I don't really know why I can handle reading about sh or sh scars but not pictures of scars. I figure it must be the harsh reality of it--the very personal reality of it. I don't ever want to make anyone feel like they have to hide themselves, and sh scars (all scars, really) need to be destigmatized and normalized. But I think that, online, people need to take a certain amount of responsibility for how their content could affect people. It's a shitty reality that looking at someone's body might harm me, especially since that could harm them, but the human mind isn't rational.

It's about compassion, honestly. Just all the way around. Things can be filtered out online, scrolled past, ignored, whatever. Real life requires a different set of coping mechanisms and that's okay. You shouldn't put someone else down because their body triggers you--that's not fair. Leave the situation, if you can. They're not responsible for you. If you're online, curate your experience--and be mindful that you have a certain measure of responsibility in helping others do the same. Mindfulness is the most important thing here.

I could ramble on about this forever. It's so complicated and there's so many sides to it. If I ever say something that feels invalidating, please let me know. It's not my intention and hopefully we can reach a resolution (and you will definitely get an apology!)

*aggressively normalizes self-harm scars*