#(this is bullshit look at the fic you wrote earlier tonigjt)
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#im online too much and i dont understand the chatacters everypme is obsessing over and j feel like im faking everything and i dont know how#to stop or be myself or do anything thT I want to do#(this is bullshit look at the fic you wrote earlier tonigjt)#but like. i dont know jow to empathize or connect in a way that isnt just regurgitating other peoples words and patterns and thoights#ah. this is fhe autism again isnt it#but even like. among other autistic pepple. feel like im doing it wrong and i keep judging tjem for doing it wrong wjicj is BAD and i KNOW#its because i spent so long desperately masking bc i jusy wanted some kind (any kind) of social interaction#and now i cant even do that right#and im comparing.traumas which is another thing i knoa you shouldnt do#but every other sysgem i see is so much more impacted by it and i dont knos if im faking it or what#o dont know why im crashing like fhis i took my fucking meds. why am i crashing. i cant crasj theres too much to get done#keep ot the fuck rogether dont blink dont break dont even bend#which is NOT healthy but o dont know any other way through#in conclusion fuck me please tell me njce things we could rrally use it right now#bc god knows tomorrows gonna suuuuuuuuuuuck#gotta be up.and moving in 6 hrs
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