#(this is a joke ive never read hugo)

[tinysylveon]

The Seven Saviors of the Spiral

hi welcome to my wizard101 oc story thing :3

Seven unexpected friends unite under one cause: to save the Spiral.

At a young age, they were given an incredibly daunting task: A darkness had overtaken the lands closest to Wizard City - Malistaire and his army of undead were on the move to tear the worlds asunder for his own selfish goals. Only these seven, chosen by Fate, could unite and defeat him.

And that they did.

For a few years, things were calm.

Then, Morganthe came.

The spider queen had a lust for power that had not been seen for thousands of years. Once again, our heroes would need to take up their spells to rid the Spiral of this dark influence.

And that they did.

Once again, for a few years, things were calm.

Now, in their 20's, after a period of peace in the Spiral, another threat has arisen.

Older, wiser, and more powerful, they are ready to begin their journey once again.

{All dolls made with Gaia Online}

Scarlet TitanDreamer (Pyromancer, She/They)

Early 20's. Lineage unknown, Seems to hail from Wizard City, so she says. A kind woman who lives in a wintry tower and enjoys gardening. She has been taking in any refugees from worlds that have fallen or been taken by darkness to live on the isles surrounding her home. Secondary school: Life.

Autumn MistWeaver (Thaumaturge, She/Her)

Late 20's. Lineage from Avalon, hails from Wizard City. Reads a plethora of books and does a good amount of research. A sweet and knowledgeable woman, she has been friends with Scarlet since early childhood. Secondary school: Fire.

Genevieve Rose (Diviner, She/Her)

Mid-20's. Hails from Marleybone. An excitable woman, always filled with ideas. Has been friends with Scarlet since early childhood. She mainly focuses on the accuracy of her spells, rather than the power - "That should be enough!" Secondary school: Life.

Soran DreamWeaver (Sorcerer, They/Them)

Mid-20's. Hails from Mooshu. They're a very quiet person, but around their friends, they enjoy practical jokes and making their friends laugh. Secondary school: Death

Alura GlimmerTrick (Conjurer, She/Her)

Early 20's. Lineage from Dragonspyre, hails from Wizard City. Seemingly bitter, but open-minded even still. Her family's lost history had her jaded, but once the team made it to Dragonspyre, and she learned her history, she's started to soften. She's not very kind to people she doesn't know - her trust is a little shot. Secondary school: Balance.

Zayan MoonWhisper (Necromancer, He/Him)

Late 20's. Lineage from Avalon, Hails from Wizard City. Has a younger sister named Euridyce. A happy-go-lucky man, he's ready to help others however he can. Secondary school: Ice

Hugo Prince (Theurgist, He/They)

Mid-20's. Hails from Marleybone. A being of respectable blood. He seems a little uptight, but means well. Always looks after the well-being of others. Secondary school: Myth

there's all my oc's for w101! ^o^ i've never liked the idea of Just You being the savior of the spiral, so i was like "one from each school to suffer all together. yep."

yes scarlet is my wizardsona! :3 and autumn is my mom's wizard. ^w^ the rest are from my silly little brain. they've been in my brain for a good few years, now, and ive Just now finalized their designs and put this all down lol. shame on me, i know. >o>

anyways, those are my sillies. :3 lalalalalaaaaaa

[asoue-sideblog]

I don't recall anyone interpreting anything in Handler's books as a Victor Hugo reference, but the water cycle tangents in The Grim Grotto still feel like a direct attack on Hugo

[sonicgetsrawed]

Don’t Forget to Remember Me

Here it is boyz! The WIP I shared the other day! Dedicated to my dearest friend @kairannosaurus-rex for inspiring me to actually finish it! You the best! Enjoy! 

It had been a terrible idea now that he thought about it. Just a small weekend trip in the mountains, not even that far from the main city of Corona, just enough to get away from the hustle and bustle of it all. Truthfully the trip had been nice, finally since the whole library debacle Hugo had some alone time with Donella to work through their odd new dynamic. It was his return when things had gone downhill. The day before he left Varian had insisted on taking care of the library by himself to allow Hugo ample time to get things in order for the weekend, he’d have never agreed if he knew that the younger would run himself into the ground taking on project after project until finally it blew up, quite literally, in his face on the first night of Hugo’s absence. He pissed when he learned, fully expecting to return to the loving embrace of his boyfriend ready to eat up the tales of their adventure, instead he was met by Rapunzel. Not that he had anything against the princess, soon to be queen, it just wasn’t what he was expecting. Then he was told about the accident and that’s when the anger hit. Why hadn’t he been informed sooner? He could’ve left his trip early. But that’s not what Varian would’ve wanted, Rapunzel had insisted, and fucking screw her for thinking she knew what Varian would’ve wanted. So he demanded to be shown to Varian, demanded to see him, demanded to be told the extent of the injuries, demanded to know what the fuck had happened. And then he saw him. In those too white sheets, in that too small bed, in that terrible loose hospital gown. Bandages wrapped around his head, arms, almost everywhere. His lip split, his right eye purple in a bruise, the deep gash over his left cheek. Nothing seemed to matter anymore as he rushed to Varian’s side, taking his hand in his as if to reassure himself that he was still alive.

Time had stopped, nothing seemed relevant anymore besides the steady drip of the IV fluids. It was a terrible sound, the dripping, the ticking of the clock, his own breathing and heartbeat in his ears. Not even the nurses voice could reach him in this void. No one could. All he knew were those sounds and the boy in the bed, the boy who hadn’t opened his eyes in weeks.

Then as suddenly as they had closed, they opened. Those lovely baby blues staring back at him for the first time in far too long. Hugo could hardly contain his excitement as he leapt out of his seat and pulled Varian into a tight hug. “Thank fuck you’re awake. You scared us so much, Goggles. You have no fucking idea I-“

It took him too long, too fucking long to realize there was no recognition in those eyes. There was nothing at all just a blank stare and furrowed brows. He tilted his head ever so slightly an action that used to be endearing but now shook him to his very core. “Who?”

And he couldn’t respond, couldn’t breathe all he could do was stare into those eyes. Stare into the nothingness there. Because this wasn’t his Varian this- this was, nothing.

He didn’t realize when he was pulled away, didn’t realize how he fought the nurses until his world was turning black. All he knew was the nothingness in Varian’s eyes, he was nothing in Varian’s eyes.

Hugo blinked, the stark white ceiling above him coming into focus. “What happened?” He asked, wasting no time in sitting up and swinging his feet over the side of the bed. He couldn’t waste any time Varian may not have recognized him, but he still needed him. His head was pounding, mind fuzzy as the last remnants of sleep wore off.

“You fought the nurses like a fucking idiot when they tried to tend to the boy. They had to sedate you.” Hugo rolled his eyes at Donella’s answer, of course as soon as they returned to Corona she would revert to her snarky attitude.

“Varian, his name is Varian. How many times do I have to tell you that?” Hugo hissed, moving passed her, determined to find out more about Varian’s condition.

“Regardless, he isn’t taking visitors.” Donella retorted, cutting Hugo off.

“Like hell. I’m his boyfriend-“

“Not to him, you're not.” Hugo froze at her words, Donella’s hand latching onto his forearm. He wasn’t sure if it was for support or to keep him from running to Varian’s side. Either way he hated the words that came from her mouth. “He has amnesia, th- Varian, doesn’t remember anything. Not the princess, not you, not his father, not even his own name.”

“Then I’ll make him remember.” He flinched at his own voice, the words coming off harsher and more threatening than he’d intended. The point still stood, he'd help Varian remember who he was, who they all were.

“You can’t force him to remember, he must do so on his own. If you force something like that it could damage him more.” Donella said, pulling Hugo’s arm so he was forced to stop his forward march.

“Then what do I do?” Hugo asked, his resolve cracking. Any fight he had breaking as the reality of the situation hit. He had lost a part of Varian, all of their memories together, all the hurt and the love they fought for gone. It was terrifying, what if he never remembered? Would he still love him?

“Just be patient, that’s all you can do. Have patience.”

*********************

“This is our room?” Varian asked, making his way around the room, running his hand along the bed as if it would help him remember. It had been a week since he’d woken up and nothing had changed. Today was his first day out of the infirmary and Rapunzel was positive getting him back in a more familiar environment would do wonders for his memory. Hugo wasn’t so certain. Varian jumped as Ruddiger rubbed up against his legs. “Does it always do that?”

Hugo picked up Ruddiger, the raccoon easily settling on his shoulders with a sad chitter. “He does. He is your raccoon.”

“Oh, right. Sorry.” Varian mumbled, awkwardly standing in the middle of the room. His eyes darting to the single bed. Hugo knew immediately what was going through his mind.

“Don’t worry about sharing a room. Rapunzel is setting me up next door.” Hugo said with a sigh. He was trying his best to be patient but it was hard when nothing seemed to jog his memories. He had to keep reminding himself it had only been a week, he just needed more time. Until then he would be sleeping in the other room with Ruddiger.

****************

He was exhausted, so fucking exhausted. He’d been running the library and managing the royal engineer duties for a month. Quirin and Donella were helping as much as they could, but even then he seemed to be swamped. Even when he wasn’t working he spent most of his time with Varian. They usually didn’t say much, just sat in the castle library and read. It was peaceful, but he missed their conversations, the odd ticks Varian had when he got particularly excited about something, the small snort that wiggled its way into his laugh sometimes, he missed Varian. Unfortunately he still didn’t remember much, no matter what they tried nothing seemed to work. He was quickly losing hope that the Varian he knew would ever return. Not that there was anything wrong with the way Varian was now, it was just different. He just needed a moment of peace away from it all, five minutes completely to himself.

He quickly made his way up to the roof of one of the towers of the castle. Since the rooster had been dismantled he’d often escape up here with Varian when they needed a moment away from the hustle and bustle of the castle. Hugo easily made his way out onto the roof, startling slightly when he saw Varian already sitting there, the wind blowing in his hair as he sketched in his notebook. He smiled softly at the familiar sight. Varian’s tongue poking out as he concentrated on whatever he was working on. Hugo quietly made his way over, sitting down next to him as he stared at the younger, who had yet to acknowledge his presence. “Whatcha working on, Goggles?”

Varian wrinkled his nose at the nickname, but didn’t say anything about it. He supposed the name didn’t make sense when he’d been without his goggles since he’d woken up. “The princess, uh-“

“Rapunzel.” Hugo supplied, he hated how since the accident he seemed to be struggling to retain information, it was concerning and something the doctors had been looking into.

“Right, Rapunzel, said I should try keeping a journal, write down whatever I remember in it.” Varian explained, blowing his hair out of his face as he finally looked up at Hugo. “I don’t think it’s working. Nothing seems to be working. Everyone is trying so hard and I just- Hugh, I can't remember anything.”

Hugo pulled him close, letting the younger cry frustrated tears into his chest, his shirt sticking to his skin the more he cried. “It’s okay, you’ll get there eventually.”

Varian laughed bitterly. “I don’t want to get there eventually. I want to be okay, I want people to stop tiptoeing around me. I want to be able to laugh at inside jokes I used to know, to remember the silly stupid things, the little things that used to irritate me. I want to be me again.”

Hugo gently cupped his face, moving the stray hairs out of Varian’s eyes. “Give yourself time. This was a pretty serious injury. I think you remember more than you think, so give yourself a little credit.”

“I do?” Varian asked through his sniffles, wiping his tears away on the back of his sleeve.

Hugo nodded, smiling lightly at his boyfriend. “I think so. Why did you come up here? Or call me Hugh? You didn’t call me that until we started dating. And this place, you’d always come up here when you needed a break, specifically from-“

“Rapunzel.” Varian finished, a slight smile working its way onto his lips.

“Exactly.” Hugo said, gently poking Varian’s nose, earning him a small laugh.

“Thank you. You’ve been amazing through all of this.” Hugo didn’t get to respond, Varian closing the distance between them and bringing their lips together. It was a wonderful feeling, to finally be able to kiss him after months of not. And as much as he’d love to devour him then and there, he let Varian set the pace, keeping the kiss short and sweet. Until Varian finally broke it. “I’m sorry, that must’ve been really weird for you. I know I’m not exactly the same person you fell in love with-“

Hugo cut him off with another kiss, this one more passionate, more needy. “I will love any version of you, in any universe. I love you, Varian, and just because you don’t remember our time together doesn’t change that fact. We’ll just have to make new memories, better ones.”

“I’d like that.” Varian claimed his lips once again, Hugo wrapping his arms around him and pulling him as close as possible. It would take a lot of work to get to where they had been, but he was going to make sure they got there. And when they did he’d make sure those memories were ones Varian would never be able to forget.

[adriannaelle]

Treehouse and Chill

The Simpsons reached another milestone this year with the recent airing of its thirtieth “Treehouse of Horror” special which, coincidentally, is the show’s 666th episode. While certainly not the best installment of this annual series, “Treehouse of Horror XXX” was pretty funny. Still, even the funniest jokes in this episode pale in comparison to some of the classic “Treehouse of Horror” specials. To this day, iconic segments such as “The Shinning”, “The Devil and Homer Simpson”, “Nightmare Cafeteria”, and “Citizen Kang” are still hard to top.

So, in honor of Halloween, thirty years of scary tales, and 90’s nostalgia, I want to briefly discuss my favorite five episodes of the Treehouse of Horror series. As always, ranking articles like these are subjective and are based on personal taste. Therefore, I don’t care if you nor yo’ mama thinks “Treehouse of Horror III” was trash. It’s still going on this list!

Alright, let us continue.

Honorable Mentions: “Treehouse of Horror II”, “Treehouse of Horror VIII”, and “Treehouse of Horror X”

Number Five: “Treehouse of Horror VII” (Season 8, Episode 1; 1996)

Although “The Thing and I” was a strong first segment, I enjoyed it least in “Treehouse of Horror VII”. Don’t get me wrong, I thought the story was pretty funny, I just like the second and third stories better. However, I do have a bone to pick with the ending of “The Thing and I”. Instead of confining Bart to the attic, why not keep both Hugo and Bart around after they discovered Bart was the evil twin? I mean, the family already lived with Bart for 10 years. They might as well kept the mistake going.

“The Genesis Tub” was amusing.  It may be the creative in me, but I really enjoy the concept of creating your own world and overseeing it.  Still, I felt the ending of “The Genesis Tub” was a bit abrupt.  I feel like the writers could have done so much more with the concept of Lisa creating and ruling her own Universe. Maybe she could have assaulted Bart with more fighter pilots. Maybe she could have built a massive ray gun a la the ray gun seen in “Citizen Kang”.  The ideas are limitless.

Speaking of “Citizen Kang”, this story is one of my favorites in the entire Treehouse of Horror series.  It's a brilliant satirical take on elections in the United States and the country’s politicians.  I especially like how the writers make fun of our ridiculous two-party system.  Like really, are our only choices between a drooling, Gangreen Gang, cyclops squid, and his twin sister?  Ross Perot should have brought up Kang’s and Kodos’ emails.  That always works.

Number Four: “Treehouse of Horror III” (Season 4, Episode 5; 1992)

Akin to my feelings about “Treehouse of Horror VII”, I’m only a big fan of two of the three segments in “Treehouse of Horror III”.  “King Homer” was just a’ight to me. Granted, the segment did have a great exchange between Mr. Smithers and Mr. Burns about the former’s distaste of seamen and women mixing.  Yet overall, I didn’t get a kick out of this story as much as I did the other two.

“Clown Without Pity” is a parody of the lauded Twilight Zone episode “Living Doll”.  This segment had its share of funny jokes, particularly the line from Patty about losing the remaining thread of her heterosexuality after seeing Homer horrifically run through the house butt naked.  I also like how the key to turning off the Krusty doll’s murderous rage, is switching the lever from “evil” to “good”.  Like, what happens if the lever accidentally switches back?  What if it breaks and he gets stuck on “evil”?  Take the doll back and get a refund!  Like, what are y’all doing?!

Finally, there is “Dial ‘Z’ for Zombie”.  No matter how self-aware I am about the absurdity of my kinemortophobia (fear of zombies), I still have it.  That is why I hated this segment as a child.  But as a grown woman, I find this story very funny.  It’s a pretty simple zombie story, but the jokes strewn throughout are what make it a highlight of the series.  The joke about Homer being immune to the zombies because he lacks brains is one that stands out in particular.  Also, what are George Washington, Albert Einstein, and William Shakespeare even doing in Springfield?

Number Three: “Treehouse of Horror IV” (Season 5, Episode 5; 1993)

Choosing between “Treehouse of Horror IV” and “Treehouse of Horror V” as my second favorite episode of the series was the hardest.  Ultimately, I prefer V ever so slightly over IV, but IV is a heavyweight in its own right.  “The Devil and Homer Simpson” shows just how far our dimwitted protagonist is willing to go to get his favorite, sugary snack.  You got to be desperate as all hell to sell your soul for a donut!  Other than Homer’s enjoyment of his ironic punishment, the best part of the segment is the trial itself.  The Devil’s voir dire game is trash.  How do you select the jury and still lose the case?  Never hire this man for anything.

“Terror at 5 ½ Feet” is yet another hilarious spin on an old Twilight Zone classic. This parody of “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet” stays true to the basic horror elements and story structure as the original tale, but, of course, adds its own Simpsons brand of humor to it. However, unlike the original, Bart is still tormented by the gremlin after he’s hauled off to the psych ward.  Side note, Ned Flanders really took a lot of L’s in this episode.

I’ve never seen nor read the original Dracula, so I do not know how faithful “Bart Simpson’s Dracula” is to the original story.  Well, I guess that doesn’t really matter here because this story is so funny and scary that it holds your attention from beginning to end.  From the super happy fun slide that leads to the vampires in the basement to Homer staking Mr. Burns (Burnscula?) in the crotch, this story provides many laughs that make this story a classic.  Also, the plot twist that Marge (Margecula?) is really the head vampire is funny as hell.  Sorry if that was a spoiler but in fairness, this episode is 26 years old now.

Number Two: “Treehouse of Horror V” (Season 6, Episode 6; 1994)

“Treehouse of Horror V” is solid from beginning to end.  “The Shinning” is firmly in my top five list of favorite Treehouse of Horror segments.  This segment has several hilarious moments, from Homer taking three days to make the voyage to the cabin due to his forgetfulness to the blood not getting off at the right floor, to that scene where the complete lack of television and beer made Homer go . . . something . . . hmm.  Well, anyway, I can definitely say that every time I watch “The Shinning”, I’m feelin’ fine.

“The Shinning” is not the only highlight of this episode.  Homer’s time-traveling escapade in “Time and Punishment” introduced us to numerous interesting alternative timelines that ultimately drove Homer to a pure state of “IDGAF” at the end.  Still sucks that he missed out on that donut rain.  That timeline would have smacked!  

This episode’s final segment, “Nightmare Cafeteria”, truly is the stuff of nightmares. I mean, it’s super funny now that I’m grown, but this segment used to legitimately scare me as a child.  It also didn’t help that I was a fat kid.  Like, imagine living your best life and then the next moment, you’re Ms. Wilson’s Fried Adri.  Woo, chile.

Number One: “Treehouse of Horror” (Season 2, Episode 3; 1990)

It’s often said that nothing beats the original, and in the case of Treehouse of Horror episodes, this sentiment rings true.  The very first Treehouse of Horror is the greatest episode of the series.  One of the highlights of this episode is the dulcet baritone of James Earl Jones as the mover, Serak the Preparer, and the narrator of “The Raven”.

The first segment “Bad Dream House” is a comedic spin on the classic haunted house movie trope.  The quintessential 80s style horror music that accompanies the story throughout greatly adds to the mood of the piece without overdoing it.  The conclusion of “Bad Dream House” is what makes this story so funny.  The house destroys itself rather than live with the Simpsons. I don’t know what it feels like to be curved by a house, but it must make you feel all kinds of insecure.  

“Hungry Are the Damned” is our first introduction to Treehouse staples Kang and Kodos.  It is also our introduction to the sorely missed Serak the Preparer, who definitely needs to return at least once in this series.  This segment parodies the classic Twilight Zone episode “To Serve Man” and gives us a humorous plot twist at the end.  I suppose this episode also serves as a sort of origin story of Kang’s and Kodos’ beef with mankind because this is the only episode where they are genuinely nice.  Dang, all Lisa had to do was sit down and eat her food. Literally.

Finally, there is “The Raven”, which is absolutely my favorite segment in any Treehouse of Horror Episode.  What I like most about “The Raven” is how the crew manages to add comedy to the piece without losing any of the mystique of Edgar Allen Poe’s riveting poetry.  It also made this poem a bit easier to understand, which I greatly appreciate.  It’s a refined piece of television without the pompousness of the bourgeois.  In short, I like it. 

Honestly, no matter which of the thirty Treehouse of Horror episodes you like best, all are great for watching on Halloween for squeamish, easy-to-scare people like me.  So for those of us who aren’t bravely equipped to watch the more realistic, gory, and scary productions, I highly recommend binge-watching these episodes for some softer scary vibes and lots of laughs.

[isitgintimeyet]

The Ties That Bind

Thanks for all your feedback on the first chapter. I loved reading it all! I hope you enjoy the second chapter.

Once again thanks to @mo-nighean-rouge for the beta

Chapter 2 : A Recreational Activity (well, a few)

The power of a glance has been so much abused in love stories, that it has come to be disbelieved in. Few people dare now to say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet it is in this way that love begins, and in this way only.  -Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

Jamie groaned and hoped that the banging inside his head would stop soon. This was the problem with drinking wine. Generally Jamie tried to steer clear of ‘grape’ and stick to ‘grain’. However, last night, he had supped copious quantities of both and now was suffering the consequences. He stretched his hand out hoping to find a glass of water and possibly even two aspirins left on the bedside table by his more responsible alter ego yesterday. There they were. Gratefully, he sank back onto the pillows and waited for them to do their work.  

Parts of his alcohol-induced dreams came back to him… miles and miles of hotel corridors and he was chasing, chasing... a woman with the most gorgeous legs he had ever seen. He kept chasing her, but she wouldn’t stop and she wouldn’t turn round. A flash of wild dark curls and…

The banging in his head seemed to be louder now. “Unca,” a cross little voice added to the general cacophony. “Unca, get up now. Mam says now. ‘Tis beckfast and then ‘wimmin’. Mam says.”

Jamie forced himself out of bed. Fastening the towelling bath robe, he opened his door. His little nephew rushed past him and started jumping on the bed. Jenny stood in the doorway, her eyes darting all round the room.

“I go ‘wimmin’ with ye, Unca, wiv Spideyman shorts. What ye shorts, Unca?”

Jamie sighed and looked at his sister. “She’s no’ here. She didna stay. Nothing happened.” He grabbed Wee Jamie round his middle, lifting him high up in the air. “And who said I would take ye swimmin’, ye wee fishie?”

“Mam said so, she did.”

Jamie gently set his nephew on his feet. “Aye, well, yer mam makes an awfa’ lot o’ decisions fer the men in this family. But I guess I canna refuse, no’ if I ken what’s good fer me.”

**************

Claire lay on one of the day beds next to the swimming pool and wiggled her toes, admiring the newly applied scarlet polish. She set aside the copy of Hello! she had been skimming through and turned to Geillis.

“This was such a good idea of yours, G. Total battery recharge today… and we’ve even had the whole pool to ourselves. I don’t reckon we’ll be seeing any of that wedding party any time soon. Not if last night was anything to go by.”

“I am rather full of brilliant ideas,” Geillis agreed. “Although I feel we may have missed an opportunity last night. So many men...”

“... And no doubt so many wives and girlfriends!” Claire interrupted.

“Och, well,” Geillis dismissed Claire’s interruption. “Guess we’ll never know.”

“Anyway, so I’ve a body wrap, then hot stone massage in twenty minutes. I’m going to head into the sauna for ten minutes first. You coming?”

“Aye, may as weel. I don’t reckon there’ll be anything worth hangin’ round here fer today.” Geillis gathered up her belongings and followed Claire into the sauna.

**************

Jamie sat in the male changing room, blowing up his nephew’s armbands (Spider-Man, obviously a theme here) while Wee Jamie hopped excitedly from foot to foot.

“Now, afore we go in the pool, are ye sure you dinna need a wee? Ye ken what I told ye, as how if ye wee in the pool, the water turns bright blue?”

“Nah, Unca, c’mon now. Wanna go ‘wimmin’.” The little lad pulled his armbands up, grabbed Jamie’s hand and headed for the door. “C’mon, c’mon.” He paused and stared intently at his uncle. “Ye no Spideyman shorts?”

Jamie looked down at his blue checked board shorts and tried to look sad about this. “Sorry lad, I’m too big fer such a fine pair.”

As they entered the pool area together, Jamie looked around. It was totally deserted, which, Jamie thought, was hardly surprising based on the amount of alcohol that had been consumed the day before. An abandoned magazine lay on one of the day beds.

Wee Jamie pointed to a small passage way on the other side of the pool. “What’s ‘at?”

“Ah, nothing for ye. Just the sauna... it’s awfa hot and no’ fer children and the girls’ changing room is down there too. That’s definitely no’ fer us lads, eh?”

Following Jenny’s instructions to “wear the lad out, we want him tae sleep in the car going home,” Jamie stayed in the pool, playing with his nephew until he noticed the lad’s eyelids start to droop. He scooped him up and carried him back to the changing room, intending to just wrap him in a towel and leave the tricky drying and dressing to Jenny.

Wee Jamie held tightly to his uncle’s neck. “You fib, Unca. Ye did. I wee’d and I wee’d but no blue.”

Jamie chuckled. God, he loved this little lad something fierce and maybe someday, God willing...

**************

Claire picked up the two whiskies from the bar and made her way to the table where Geillis was sitting. The pub was quite empty at the moment, just a handful of people, like them, having a quick drink after work before heading home.

Geillis looked Claire up and down appraisingly. “Ye ken I love ye, Claire, but could you no’ wear something a bit, weel, more alluring when we’re out?”

Claire gazed down at her old jeans and plain black tee shirt. “G, I’ve been on my feet in theatre for the past 8 hours. I’m so knackered, you’re lucky I managed to change out of my scrubs and into this! Besides, however can I compete with your alllllluuure?”  She drawled the last word out jokingly. “Maybe you have the allure for both of us? I can be your duff.”

Geillis raised a quizzical eyebrow.  

“Designated ugly fat friend.” Claire explained with a smile. “According to the movie, every friendship group has one. You and me, we’re a friendship group, ergo, I must be it.”

“Claire, ye may be many things but fat or ugly never.” Geillis said, “Yer hair’s a wee bit wild, mind. Do ye no’ fancy a Brazilian blow dry?” She ran her fingers over her sleek strawberry blonde locks.

“And here’s me thinking a ‘brazilian’ was about a different part of my anatomy altogether!”

Geillis smiled, then a serious expression crept over her face. “But, Claire, ye dinna think ye’re fat or ugly really, do ye?”

Claire stared at the beer mat on the table, her fingers picking at it, ripping it into tiny shreds of paper. She really thought she’d outgrown that nervous habit.

“Well, no, but, it’s difficult to explain. Frank...” She could hear Geillis tutting at the mention of his name. “Frank had certain… er, expectations of how I should be. How I should behave, how I should look. The disapproval on his face if I took an extra roast potato, ordered dessert, poured myself another glass of wine. There was always someone younger, more self-controlled, thinner. So, for a while I tried to become the person he wanted me to be. I tried to see myself through his eyes and I saw the fat arse, the lack of control, the not-really good enough...”

Geillis leaned closer and gently placed her hand on Claire’s. “Thank God ye got out of there. That wasna a healthy place tae be, Claire. Ye know ye’re worth a lot more than that.”

“I know. And I am joking about that duff business but occasionally, old habits are hard to break. That’s why I’m not after a serious relationship. I’m not sure I’m ready to let someone see me as I really am.”

“But a fling will do ye no harm at all. It will do ye the world of good, let ye see how another man treats ye. In fact, we need a list. A checklist. When ye’re in theatre, ye dinna start cuttin’ till ye know everything is in place, all the boxes are ticked. So we make a list of what ye want and ye dinna start, er, flingin’ till a man ticks all the boxes.”

Claire finally put the mangled beer mat down. “A list, really?”

“Aye, it’s scientific, ye ken.” Geillis picked up her bag and rooted around for a piece of paper. Finding an unused paper napkin, she smoothed it flat on the table, extracted a pen from the depths of her bag and sat poised ready to write. “Ok. Point one…” She scribbled something down quickly.

“Come on, Let me read it.” Claire laughed, turning the napkin round. “Must look good in, and out of, a kilt. G, you have a one-track mind.”

“Och, it’s a fling we’re talking about, ye only need one track, I reckon. So, what about point two?”

“Well, I may as well play along. Point two must be no complications.”

Geillis obligingly wrote that down. “Next point. Enjoys a drink. Likes to let his hair down.”

Claire took the pen from her friend and added another line. Geillis read it upside down. “Really, it’s a fling ye’re after. Ye’re tellin’ me if they dinna like the X-Files, that’s it? Is that a deal breaker?”

“What can I say? The heart wants what the heart wants.”

“Fine, but I’m adding this one then. Fancies ye as ye are. No changing ye.”

The pub was starting to fill up. Most commuters had already made their way home, to be replaced by those heading out for the evening, coming into the pub for a quick drink before their evening plans properly began. Even on a drizzly Thursday evening, it was getting to be standing room only. Claire noticed several people eyeing their table enviously. She drained her whisky glass and stood up.

“I think that’s me done for this evening. Any more and I’ll have to be put to bed right here.  I’ll just pop to the loo and meet you outside, G.”

As Claire crossed the room to the toilets, Geillis started to gather her stuff together to leave.

Immediately a woman rushed to the table, plonked herself in one chair, and stuffed her bag on the other chair. She eyed Geillis, willing her to hurry up and be on her way. Geillis ignored her and continued rifling through her bag, her movements deliberately slowing. Eventually, Geillis decided she’d had enough of the game, turned away and walked to the exit.

**************

Geneva caught Jamie’s eye as he moved away from the bar, drinks in hand, and pointed to the seats she had found for them. He sat down, taking a deep slug of his whisky as he put Geneva’s vodka, lime and soda on the table next to a tatty old napkin.  

“Someone’s shopping list, no doubt.” Geneva dismissed it with a wave of her hand as Jamie picked it up and carried on telling Jamie about the difficulties in trying to find the correct colour for a new bedroom throw. “...Not really a teal, but not quite a cerulean colour either…”

Jamie knew his role in this. It was just to nod and murmur appreciatively at appropriate points in the story. That gave him time to think… unfortunately. Thinking made him realise that Jenny had been right three weeks ago at the wedding. Geneva was not the one, he didn’t need to try again just to see. And she did talk utter shite.

He groaned, which Geneva seemed to take as indication of his deep interest in her tale of home furnishing trials and tribulations. He should never have slept with her. He hadn’t intended to but last night, as the blood left his brain and migrated south, he had lost the capacity for rational, coherent thought and had followed his baser instincts. Which had been a very bad idea.

Jamie glanced at the napkin he was still holding. Straightening it between his fingers, he began to read. A woman with long strawberry blonde locks suddenly leaned over and gently took the napkin from his fingers.  

“Thanks, it’s fer scientific research, ye ken.”  

He watched as she walked to the door, to her waiting friend. Her friend with the long shapely denim clad legs and mad curly hair and her face, so full of life with sparkling eyes he longed to dive right into.

“What an odd thing to want.” Geneva interrupted his contemplation. “That couldn’t have been scientific research. On a used napkin. Some people are just strange.”

Jamie felt his breath catch in his throat. Jenny had been right - he recognised it. What to do now?

[blookmallow]

so i finally started......the Dad Game.........

let the daddening begin 

im on the title screen and im already crying i wasnt expecting a thEME SONG 

this is also unsettling to play after going through doki doki literature club im gonna be subconsciously mistrustful the entire time lmao

what do you mean, i am dead 

i love my daughter already 

then i spent like half an hour on the customization screen bc thats the kind of person i am 

Chin Head 

i am IMMENSELY glad that there’s lipstick but theres nnnot a whole lotta options here 

i decided to create a Character rather than trying to make like. “me as a dad” or w/e so uh. heres my fuckin. Dad OC, i guess 

his name is wren calloway and i am Absolutely In Love with him just from the character screen help me 

he also accidentally ended up looking almost EXACTLY like my headcanon cecil palmer, but. uh. ANYWAY

im almost definitely gonna go for damien because of course i am but im gonna like. see how the plot plays out/go with whatever options/responses i like and see where things end up, i think thats more fun than just targeting a particular character completely 

god look at him tho? i love him,

hhhhHUUUOH MY DAUGHTER’S CUTE AS FUCK TOO 

I LOVE HER!! im also reading all her lines in vanellope’s voice currently, but :’)

oh!! i get to decide my own backstory details

im Definitely goin gay all the way 

[sobbing] i lov e my daughter,

:( what happened to my husband,

understandable 

HE ll o

im not into a whole lotta dudes but this game’s character designs are A+++

he’s.......................cute,,

hes #relatable already i love him

i specifically made A Character bc i knew trying to make it “me” would get weird but so far hes basically me anyway :’ ) 

i hate how much i love this dad oc i might legitimately use that character design somewhere in the future 

baNANAS? in BANANA BREAD? the wonders never cease 

B) 

half of this is just me sobbing about how much i love amanda but listen,

also i love amanda’s relationship with her dad?? they’re cute,,

and like....ive never had anything like that with my dad? i dont know. what its like to have a dad you can joke around with and have fun with and be snarky at each other with. its nice to see, i guess

honestly i expected this to just be kinda silly all around but i was rly into the goth dad and decided to give it a shot but so far this is.... really wholesome honestly it’s less Anime Dating Sim But It’s Dads and more like. a choose-your-own-adventure story about a gay dad doin life and taking care of his kid. its good. as a gay who’s really fuckin tired of compulsory heterosexuality in 90% of every game ever, it’s good

i also love that this game is. there are no hetero options here. There Is Only One Step And It IS Gay 

i mean you can say your previous partner was a woman but. you’re still dating dads. ur bisexual anyway

i just wanna date my own character tbh 

oh m y  G O D 

i m gonna cry 

i won the Dad Battle tho 

also he’s not my type but im glad theres a cute chubby dad,

there’s pretty decent diversity so far here? not a Ton of body type diversity but still, we’ve got several rly good POC characters, i think i heard damien’s canonically trans? not bad at all

ah. it’s You

i don’t know anything about what actually happens in this game at all but i saw something about some weird scrapped cult ending where this dude turns out to be a cultist/serial killer or something and honestly i see it l m a o

i dont even know what it Is about him he just immediately unsettles me 

local gay forgets what words are around every man he sees 

oh

well FUCK

what happened :’( i want to know 

why are his kids like this i feel like they’re going to appear at the end of my bed in the middle of the night and just stare at me unblinking for hours

oh my fucking god what is going on with this family 

the girl’s name is christiana or something too 

that’s horrifying thanks 

smooth

im physically recoiling every time this man speaks i know we were apparently College Buddies but its not happenin bud 

absolutely not, goodnight 

apparently i literally slept for the ENTIRE day but alright 

EYY GOTH KID

HI IM GONNA BE YOUR STEP DAD SOMEDAY PROBABLY

low rent gerard way 

i think he was reacting to “oh my god the room i needed was right here all along, that little SHIT” but im choosing to believe that was his reaction to the teacher 

ok flirting with the cute english teacher is also VERY tempting 

im definitely between mat / hugo / damien right now (i only saw Mystery Dad for a half second but he’s probably a Potential too) but ill see how things play out 

i Loved the idea of wren having Celebrity Crush Gossip with his daughter but i looked up this name and uh 

:( i am immensely disappointed (unless ‘she picked someone gross as a joke’ was the point i guess) (looks like this was recent news but) 

id buy her anything she wants but fine : |

i lov...her,

oh no

please never do that again

he apparently is very personally offended by the existence of hot topic as far as i can tell 

DEAD GOTH AND BEYOND

it would actually match everything perfectly and now im sad i cant get it for u

OH SHIT

OH SHIT ITS HAPPENING

BE COOL 

lmao i cant BELIEVE you literally fuckign meet him at hot topic. i thought he was gonna be like some Mysterious Gentleman you come across somewhere or. meet him at a library or a garden or something but no you meet him being obnoxiously petty at hot topic employees and i am ACTUALLY going to cry 

wouldnt he have seen the picture on the website and noticed it was edwardian whatever though 

legendary 

honestly i cant say im excited to hang out with I-Named-All-Of-My-Identical-Children-After-Christ joseph whatshisname but sure okay :’ ) 

[juliethebibliophile]

So I've Been in the Kingdom Keepers Fandom 6 Years and Ive Been Thinking About How It's Grown and Shifted...

So like because these are middle grade books in this fandom you either outgrow it or stick around long enough, like me, to become a grandma in the fandom whos posts never get attention because shes just the village crazy lady shouting out into open air because all her friends died or moved to Florida….

Anyway, the point is, Ive been here so long and Im just now remembering my golden years in the fandom, and Id forgotten them. Its been so many years you forget all the things that werent general KK knowledge, that were things we had to read about and discover. Things that I forget about that were the most shocking things to me...

SO ON THAT NOTE, reblog if you’re a true KK Grandma and you remember....(Also come message me so the KK Grandmas can unite)

The love triangle between Amanda, Charlene and Finn that actually frickin existed and how it played into all the fanfictions

When Maybeck and Charlene actually fit their stereotypes pre-character development and so in all the fics Charlene was a standard teen drama cheerleader

When the 4th book ended and Ariel said Mickey was missing and we all freaked but then it didn’t show up again until book 7

Kenny Carlson and Hugo Montcliff and Sally Ringwald and Greg Luowski and ever side character existing and being a part of thew fanfics

That fic where we they passed around a plague the OTs gave them and then you thought Willa was dead at the end and they were all crying and turns out they were watching Toy Story 3

My fic Willa’s Great Adventure that apparently everyone in the damn internet fandom read but now reading it back it’s the most cringeworthy thing I’ve encountered I’m so sorry

When random characters being converted to green eyes was a thing and how after Mrs.Whitman we all lived in fear of who was next

All the drama after the Fimanda break-up and all of us speculating and joking about what was gonna happen when she found out he made out with Storey and Charlene

Discovering Storey and for 3 straight years collecting pages and pages full of notes about why she couldn’t be trusted and discussing our conspiracy theories

WAITING A YEAR FOR DARK PASSAGE AFTER THE GODDAMN SHELL GAME CLIFFHANGER

When in the yer hiatus before Dark Passage Ridley said someone was gonna die and we all freaked and for a year theorized who it was gonna be

And someone said it was gonna be Dillard and we were all like NOOOOO and then guess who it was?

We were so sure it was Wayne and we were wrong

Well we were wrong until a year later

The contest to name Dark Passage

Writing the Insider on the app

That’s about all I got for now and where the generations started to shift but if you remember this stuff let me know who you are and also add anything else I may be forgetting.

(I miss you my KK grandmas wherever you are!)

[tinyolsen]

Odds!

o 1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? Sort of level but if anything more milko 3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? Post it notes, traintickets, bus tickets, anything tbho 5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Yes if my mouth is open/ showing some teeth cos idk it feels weird but to quote my mate I have “a cheeky lil smile” so o 7: do you name your plants? I have a mini cactus called oucho (see ed and oucho from cbbc) o 9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Yes if no one is around, I was singing in the kitchen in my uni accom and the cleaner walked in, I nearly diedo 11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? Bert box, hughhhhhhhh and hades without any of the weird shito 13: what’s something that made you smile today? I went to a talk by sunny Jacobs and peter pringle and when they said we have 4 goats and live together, I beamed they are sooo cute (btw look them up their story is amazing)o 15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! Venus is 462 Co 17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? I wont dye it but like dark blue/ black like gabriella in hsm 2o 19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I do I have three, one for cute memories, one for random facts and one that has doodles in it mainly of my dogo 21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. My fav bag is no bag ever, cos effort to carry but my mufc hold all, has been to football tournaments, dance shows, America and back and its now under my bed at uni with spare towels and tea towels ino 23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Play guitar, catch up on tv just chill, don’t think about work, go to the park and just sit and take pictures, dance in the kitchen (opps thing)o 25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? I have never broken in anywhere o 27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? Cherry o 29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? one of them does a sideways smile when you say her nameo 31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I love patterned socks, football socks, trainer socks, slipper socks, but I have to wear just plain black trainer socks otherwise I think someone is judging me, but I really love my monkey and banana ones they are burgundy I also just got iron man, spiderman and captain America ones from my mateo 33: what’s your fave pastry? Puff, comes ready rolled, is vegan and I use it to make cheese straws for my flatmates (I have just been told that this means pastry thing, in which case cheese straws) o 35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? Yessssss! I just bought purple and blue highlighters cos I had to get rid of my old ones (long story) and they are awesomeo 37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? I like it lived in but not messy, and clean o 39: what color do you wear the most? blacko 41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? Les Miserables by Victor Hugo, its just inspiredo 43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? Someone who I dated for a bit but id like to forget that plsssso 45: do you trust your instincts a lot? lol noo 47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Custard o 49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? Not really cos I often don’t like full albums, unless its Rumors – Fleetwood mac but I bought when you love someone (acoustic) – James TW on itunes if that countso 51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? My brother and little things cos we have a funny joke with it (funny to us)o 53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? yes, no, no , yes/ loved it, n/a, n/a, and loved it.o 55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? eaten a tub of ice cream to prove that I could bite ice cream for more than just one bite, I stared the girl in the face and bit every spoonfulo 57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? Awake, course, you are lying if you say you don’to 59: what’s your favorite myth? The Trojan horse was the first one I ever learnt in year four and it will always be my fave, but Icarus and Daedalus comes closeo 61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? This all happened this Christmas, I gave my dad a mug saying “im retired (emphasis on the tired)” and my mum gave me bin bags (im an excellent gift giver just ask my family, I out do them all every year) o 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?  As long as the books are upright with small in the middle, large at each side idm, and my music is on specific playlists on my phone (i.e fast walking playlist, chill walk playlist)o 65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? Quite a few people from school, and the three awesome people who made my dance class epic (going to uni and leaving them sucks)o 67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Awesome, if im okay anyway cos its so prettyo 69: what are your favorite board games? Monopoly cos I rule at it, block us and scrabble with my grandparents cos they like to use non English words/ made up oneso 71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? Good ol’ cuppa (Yorkshire tea bags) o 73: what are some of your worst habits? I isolate myself, blank out, cant react to other peoples emotions and I pop my shoulder in and outo 75: tell us about your pets! Omggg, Alfie the cute lil puppy is my bae, hes the light of my life, hes a cavalier king Charles spaniel and he’s the best boy, the only guy bar my lil brother I trust. And then my rabbit, leon the lion lop, died just before xmas, I miss the lil fluff but he was the cuddliest thingo 77: pink or yellow lemonade? After learning that this probably means American style lemonade, yellow. But uk style, lucazade pinks one is pengo 79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? My best mate gives my the best handmade cards all the time, that and a date gave my guitar picks with my name on onceo 81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. grey pebbles imagine if you put the clearest water blue stripped though out it or a grey and blue stepsil mushed together o 83: what’s some of your favorite album art? Idk tbh not gonna lieo 85: do you read comics? what are your faves? On and off, and probs the one amazing fantasy ive reado 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Dead poets society, 50/50 and some others I cant think ofo 89: are you close to your parents? Ish, um naho 91: where do you plan on traveling this year? Back home and idk where else yeto 93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? Side parting and just brushed, nothing fancyo 95: what are your plans for this weekend? Do uni worko 97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? Infj, Aquarius and ive had Hufflepuff, ravenclaw and Gryffindor in recent weekso 99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Scars to your beautiful, facing west cover and halo- lewis Watson

thank you :)

[gokinjeespot]

Monday, August 28, 2017

 Sorry about not posting last week. I went for my annual mini stay at Round Lake with Penny and did not read any of the comic books that I brought with me. This week's off the rack is kind of sparse because we hosted our friend Ken Steacy from Victoria for a few days. Ken drew a lovely picture of Mary Jane Watson for me which thrilled me to no end. All my geek friends are envious.

 Batwoman #6 - Marguerite Bennett & James Tynion IV (writers) Renato Arlem (art) Adriano Lucas (colours) Deron Bennett (letters). This series goes in a whole new direction and will be a complete surprise to fans following Kate's adventures. It's the future and Gotham City has changed a lot. I can't say that I like this new story but die hard Kate fans will be happy to see some familiar older faces show up.

 American Way #2 - John Ridley (writer) Georges Jeanty (pencils) John Livesay, Danny Miki & Paul Neary (inks) Nick Filardi (colours) Travis Lanham (letters). This story has more impact now because of what happened in Charlottesville, USA recently. It isn't pretty, that's for sure.

 Invincible Iron Man #10 - Brian Michael Bendis (writer) Stefano Caselli (art) Marte Gracia & Israel Silva (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). That was fun. Riri's Latverian adventure comes to an end and everybody lives happily ever after, but just in case you think that will last the last panel will send chills up and down your spine. I love this book.

 Totally Awesome Hulk #22 - Greg Pak (writer) Robert Gill (art) Nolan Woodard (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). The conclusion of W.M.D. introduces Weapon H. He's one hybrid that I think will be a big hit with fans. And if the near instant sell out is any indication, copies of this issue will be a collector's item.

 Generations: Wolverine & All-New Wolverine #1 - Tom Taylor (writer) Ramon Rosanas (art) Nolan Woodard (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). This was a good one. Logan and Laura fight a bunch of ninjas but it's the emotional good-bye that got to me. It reminded me that Wolverine died. Well done Tom. It would be great if Ramon was the regular artist on Laura's book.

 Dark Nights Metal #1 - Scott Snyder (writer) Greg Capullo (pencils) Jonathan Glapion (inks) FCO Plascencia (colours) Steve Wands (letters). Ready or not here comes another major threat to all 52 universes of the DCUs. Remember Blackest Night? Bigger than that. You can't get any bigger until the next big event. So Scott is going to weave this tale with every bit of DC material available including some surprising characters that I never would have associated with the good old Justice League. If you're a big DC or Justice League fan you might get into this. Me, I'm going to pass just like it did with Marvel's Secret Empire.

 Genius: Cartel #1 - Marc Bernardi & Adam Freeman (writers) Rosi Kampe (art) Brad Simpson (colours) Troy Peteri (letters). I remember reading the first Genius mini introducing Destiny Ajaye in 2014 and liking it but this new mini starts off too much like Nick Spencer's Morning Glories to interest me enough to want to keep reading. If you want to see how a secret government military agency manipulates Destiny then have at it.

 Star Wars #34 - Jason Aaron (writer) Salvador Larroca (art) Edgar Delgado (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). My favourite thing about these new Star Wars stories is how they are introducing cool new characters to the franchise. I love Doctor Aphra and her homicidal droids and now we have a solo adventure with Han's "wife" Captain Sana Starros, the smuggler. The art technique that Salvador uses to make Lando and Han look like Billy Dee Williams and Harrison Ford is pretty neat.

 Aquaman #27 - Dan Abnett (writer) Stjepan Sejic (art & colours) Steve Wands (letters). The secret of the mysterious guy who looks like Arthur is revealed. Meanwhile Mera is trying to find a way to get into Atlantis and enlists the help of Aqualad. Garth's looking hip with the tattoos and goatee.

 Luke Cage #4 - David F. Walker (writer) Nelson Blake II (art) Marcio Menyz (colours) VC's Joe Sabino (letters). This is turning out to be a journey of self discovery for Luke. There are a lot of bad guys to keep track of but that only makes the hero stand out more.

 Super Sons #7 - Peter J. Tomasi (writer) Jorge Jimenez (art) Alejandro Sanchez (colours) Rob Leigh (letters). Superboy helps the Teen Titans restore Robin to his old self again. You'll get the joke if you read the 2-part "Planet of the Capes" story. It was nice seeing Starfire again.

 The Mighty Thor #22 - Jason Aaron (writer) Russell Dauterman & Valerio Schiti (art) Matthew Wilson, Veronica Gandini & Rain Beredo (colours) VC's Joe Sabino (letters). Sindr, the Queen of Muspelheim reminds us that the War of the Realms is still ongoing as Malekith and Loki pay a visit. The meeting is interrupted by War Thor and a fearsome battle ensues. I must say that I prefer the hotness of Sindr to her dad Surtur.

 Wonder Woman #28 - Shea Fontana (writer) David Messina (art) Romulo Fajardo Jr. (colours) Saida Temofonte (letters). David Messina is a new name that I've just added to the artists list and he did a good job on part 3 of "Heart of the Amazon". A bounty has been put on Diana and bad guys are coming out of the woodwork to collect it.

 Spider-Men II #2 - Brian Michael Bendis (writer) Sara Pichelli (art) Elisabetta D'Amico (inking assistant) Justin Ponsor (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). We find out who hired Taskmaster and the answer will surprise fans all the way from here to Manhattan. I love when Peter and Miles team up.

 Superman #29 - Keith Champagne (writer) Doug Mahnke (pencils) Jaime Mendoza with Scott Hanna & Rob Hunter (inks) Wil Quintana & Tony Avina (colours) Rob Leigh (letters). Part 1 of "A Minute Longer" brings back a couple of super villains who we haven't seen in a long time. Don't think too hard about how they've returned, just enjoy the art and super conflict that Clark has to face. Could see Hal Jordan popping in this story.

 Astonishing X-Men #2 - Charles Soule (writer) Mike Deodato Jr. (art) Frank Martin (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). The five team members sent to the astral plane to defeat the Shadow King are in grave peril. One of them is not who we think he is. I'm thinking that person will make a big difference when the battle is joined.

 Batman #29 - Tom King (writer) Mikel Janin (pencils) Hugo Petrus & Mikel Janin (inks) June Chung (colours) Clayton Cowles (letters). This is the most intense dinner party ever depicted in a comic book. Tom is killing it with this story. Mikel's Joker is grim and his Riddler is a far cry from the cackling Frank Gorshin on TV. "The War of Jokes & Riddles" is still keeping me guessing and coming back for more.

 Archie #23 - Mark Waid (writer) Audrey Mok (art) Kelly Fitzpatrick (colours) Jack Morelli (letters). Riverdale responds to the accident that has devastating consequences for one of the major characters. I'm not fond of Archie as a bumbler but Mark shows us that his heart is in the right place.

 Plastic #5 - Doug Wagner (writer) Daniel Hillyard (art) Laura Martin (colours) Ed Dukeshire (letters). This will probably be the weirdest comic book story that I will read this year. The "hero" is a mentally unstable guy who is in love with an inflatable sex doll. I liked the art and the ending was satisfying. It's a straight up revenge story that will make you cringe.

 Generations: The Unworthy Thor & The Mighty Thor #1 - Jason Aaron (writer) Mahmud Asrar (art) Jordie Bellaire (colours) VC's Joe Sabino (letters). These Generations one shots are definitely worth reading if you're a fan of the characters featured. This may just be a simple case of the two Thors fighting Apocalypse but Mighty learns a lesson from a young Unworthy here.

 Batman/Shadow #5 - Scott Snyder & Steve Orlando (writers) Riley Rossmo (art) Ivan Plascencia (colours) Clem Robins (letters). Uh oh. Batman's dying and the villain is destroying any chance of saving him. The Shadow doesn't know what to do now. Insert maniacal laughter here.

 Sabrina #8 - Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa (writer) Robert Hack (art & colours) Jack Morelli (letters). Sabrina has a steep price to pay for bringing her boyfriend back from the dead and we find out what it is on the last page. Waiting two months for the next issue is going to kill me.