#(they are lesbians btw. augustus’s name and changeling’s pronouns obfuscates this but they are in fact Dykes) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

brittlebutch · 1 day

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didn’t exactly Intend to make augustus someone deeply afraid of her own sexuality, but unfortunately the thing about being weird/dissociative enough that you’ve had to come out to yourself as a dyke Multiple times because you’ve had several brief periods of time where you Forget you experience attraction entirely is that it does make that character trait a compelling thing to explore in fiction

#N posts stuff #might be a bold statement since the running title of this work has been the #‘i’m not supposed to say I Love You’ lyric — but initially that was definitely originally more in the song’s spirit #ie; less an internal thing and more something Imposed on you by other people #who think they know how your brain works and what is and isn’t ’appropriate’ for you to feel or say #but in trying to piece together what i’m doing with her and changeling’s relationship i was like #‘oh. changeling doesn’t realize that it has feelings but augustus knows it and is deeply afraid to acknowledge that’#albeit in a similar ‘you’ve grown up being told that your feelings and emotions and affections etc are all Bad and Inappropriate things #that deserve to be shut down/punished’ sense #the fact that this manifests in deeply bizarrely contradictorily homoerotic interactions that Vehemently Deny labeling is its own #thing that those two are getting up to. ‘it’s not gay for it to lick me if we just don’t talk about it’ type shit #you know how it is #i like you too #(they are lesbians btw. augustus’s name and changeling’s pronouns obfuscates this but they are in fact Dykes)

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