#(sorry not finding the exact word to convey what I'm trying go say)

[morriganartblog]

Hello @canisalbus, have this wrinkled doodle of Machete

[kamimarroco]

A story where Ren suddenly starts chatting with you because he apparently cares about you staying up late at night. Not reviewed, may undergo corrections in the future.

Words: 1100+

“are you still awake?”

The vibration of your phone and the appearance of a notification startled you, almost making you drop the device. You looked closely at the top left corner of the screen and saw the time.

It is currently 2:35 in the morning.

People at this time are usually sleeping, and those who aren't are probably sorting out work issues or are insomniacs.

You didn't fit into either of them, since your irregularity was due to the fact that you were too stubborn.

A shame, really.

You didn't stand on ceremony and immediately clicked on the notification, being taken to the chat with an unknown person.

Well, not really an unknown person... Looking more carefully, your sleepy mind managed to rationalize and recognize who you were talking to.

Oh, it's Ren.

“yea but dw, i'll go to sleep soon”

You immediately saw him start writing after receiving your message.

“are you sure? that doesn't sound honest to me. you've been online a lot lately”

How long exactly has he been watching you to say that? Sure, it's possible to see when your profile is online because of the app's settings, but it makes you wonder if he's been watching you all this time.

“have you been watching me online?”, you ask without hesitation.

You feel him give a slight chuckle from the other side of the screen.

“haha maybe. but don't get me wrong, you really do spend a lot of time awake at night, and that makes me a lil worried”

You're torn between finding his statement strange or acknowledging your not-so-healthy habit. It's true, you're weird, anyone would find it at least slightly worrying that you spend so much time online in the early hours of the morning.

“and what about you? you are also online right now at this very moment”, you retort back, anxiety consuming you as you wait for his response.

He would be considered a hypocrite for finding your habit troubling if he does the exact same thing.

“i have a very valid reason for that. my routine makes me stay awake at night and sleep in the morning or afternoon”

Now you feel an arrow hitting right in the middle of your heart. Sure, of course he would have a good reason to be awake at this hour.

You are the only odd one out in this situation.

“i'm sorry about that, i felt defensive about my habit being called out”, you apologized, worried that your words had come across as rude to him.

“that's alright. it's 2:42 am, no hard feelings”

You felt relieved that he didn't resent your words, despite knowing that they did not convey the same intonation as in real life.

you're thinking too much (or too little), your emotions are starting to eat you up.

“but i still think you should sleep”, he sent a second message.

You felt like a child being scolded by your father, being called out for your unhealthy behavior. You felt your cheeks flush and shame enter your system.

“i already told you, i'll sleep soon”, even if he doesn't notice, you felt like a sullen child trying to explain yourself.

“wheeen?”

“by the holy of god Ren, i'm not some kind of child”, you felt the need to say his nickname (name?) for the first time, trying to emphasize your slight irritation.

This time it took him a while to answer you, seeming to process the fact that you called him by his name. You felt judged in some way for this, thinking that maybe you weren't close enough to call him that.

when did you get so soft? is it sleep that's making you think too much?

Just as you were about to text him an apology, he interrupted you.

“i know that, i just worry about you”, his message warmed your heart in a way you couldn't imagine.

That's… sweet of him. Worrying about you even though you two are just strangers on the internet who bump into each other every now and then.

Are you falling in love?

“i appreciate ur concern, but i know what i'm doing”

No, you don't.

He sent you a picture of a fox with one eyebrow raised, appearing to doubt your certainty.

That brought out a genuine laugh you didn't know you were holding back.

you're leaving yourself vulnerable around him.

“aaaw what a cutie fox!! <3”, you said, referring to the image received.

“it really is! do you like foxes?”

“yea i like them! they are cute and fluffy and i honestly feel like hugging them”

For a while, Ren seemed to forget the fact that you were awake and kept talking to you about random, unrelated topics. Neither of them really had any connection with the other, but one thing led to another.

You noticed how easy it is to talk to him. He has a fluid oratory and is always making associations with other things he knows.

You found yourself incredibly interested and captivated in the conversation you suddenly began having with this stranger.

is this a red flag? shouldn't you be more concerned about a sudden approach?

When you looked at the time on your phone, you realized it was already 3:56 am, almost four in the morning.

Jesus, did you really spend that much time talking to him?

Feeling the tiredness consume you completely, you (finally) felt it was time to let your body have some much-needed rest.

“hey i know we're still talking, but it's almost four in the morning…”, you began delicately, not wanting to give him the wrong idea that you didn't want to talk anymore.

why are you so concerned about what he thinks, in the first place?

“i don't want to let our conversation end here, so i thought we could continue it another time”

Nonono, stop this, you're falling into his trap

“i'm sorry about this, my body is really screaming for sleep”

You idiot.

Ren analyzed your messages a bit before giving a proper response.

“awe that's alright! i really wanted u to sleep in the first place, and i feel kind of guilty that i did a bad job xd”

“keeping u awake and everything”

You felt guilty for him feeling guilty because it wasn't his fault in the first place! You were the idiot who decided to stay up at night, so the damage was already done.

“nonono u didn't! i was the dumb one for staying awake until now”

“i really enjoyed our conversation tbh”

You sent it and already felt your eyelashes getting heavy.

“hehe me too! i look forward to our next conversations”

“but now u really need to sleep, so pls don't stay up too long <3”

Silly little guy. He really gets you, doesn't he?

You felt happy that you had at least met someone during your time awake at night.

[vxnillavampir]

3 am - Leon S. Kennedy.

i don��t really know what this is? i was listening to mitski one night and i bet you all know how the rest of that goes.

warnings: angst, mentions of trauma, kind of fluff? i guess? it’s not smut that’s for sure. not proofread and with all of my stuff i just want to say my account is 18+ only mdni!!

word count: 1217 words

pairing: leon x gn!reader

(a/n) sooooo this is kinda my first writing post on this new account and I just want to say hi, if you’re new here…hi hello. I used to write for tlou on my old blog (rxllingstones)! i honestly didn’t know how to end this so it feels a bit rushed but anyways, enjoy!

You open your eyes to the dark bedroom you shared with your boyfriend, trying to mentally prepare for what the rest of the night is going to entail. Shifting your spot on the bed to face him, you find Leon lying there—already awake. His drained expression conveyed that he had been having nightmares. His body language told you that he had been lying awake for a while, and you knew that you had to do something to make him feel better. You reached out to him, your hand gently gracing his arm."Leon?" Your voice was barely above a whisper but it was enough to draw his attention towards you. His expression had already softened slightly.

"Yeah?" His voice was shaky like he was trying to hold back tears. Instinctively, you bring your hand up to his cheek to comfort him, your thumb rubbing small circles along the soft skin. "Had a nightmare?" You ask even though you already know the answer. He nodded sheepishly before sitting up on the bed. His head fell in his hands as he tried to hold back tears desperately. He was so tired of crying about the same. Exact. Thing. Over and over again. He felt as if he was only allowed to talk about the matter a certain amount of times, and once he reached that quota he had to just keep it to himself the best he could. You stay quiet, letting him take his time to process whatever he wants to say next.

After a few moments, he speaks. "I just keep thinking about that night," he says, his voice breaking as he struggles to keep the tears from coming.

"I'm sorry." You were able to hear through his mumbles. Those words broke your heart. "Baby, you never have to apologize for being upset..." You try to soothe even though you know the two of you are going to go into your usual pattern when he wakes up in the middle of the night. He wakes up from a nightmare, he feels guilty about it, you comfort him and the whole thing starts up again a few days later. Looking at the clock on the nightstand it read:

3:23 am

You sit up on the bed as well so you can rub small circles along his back, the gesture easing him into your embrace. Leon leaned his head against your shoulder as you rubbed his back before completely face-planting into your lap, adjusting himself so he could get comfortable in this new position. You felt a sense of comfort as you watched Leon settle into your lap, content to be in your embrace. You enjoyed the feeling of being needed and appreciated, and you were glad to be able to give him the comfort and security he needed.

He always looks so small like this, no matter his size or stature, he looks almost petite. You bring your hand up to caress his cheek and wipe away any leftover stray tears. "I'm here baby, let it out..."

You just held him. His golden locks were entangled in your fingers as his head rested in your lap. You watched as his muscular form shook, Leon's sobs being muffled by the fabric of your checkered pajama pants. You felt yourself tearing up, your heart aching for him. The sight of him breaking down like this was enough for you to feel just a little bit of his pain. The ice-cold emptiness eating away at your heart, the feeling nearly suffocating.

You wanted to comfort him, to make him feel better, to make him know that he wasn't alone. You wanted to tell him that everything was going to be alright, but you couldn't. So you held him, in silence, feeling the warmth of his tears and body against your own. His strong arms wrap around you, pulling you in as if you are the only thing keeping him afloat. He would just sink and disappear if his arms weren't around you like a life preserver.

Leon shifts slightly so he can face you, his icy blue eyes showing signs of exhaustion. "It's just... I can't escape it, you know? The screams, the chaos, the feeling of helplessness." His voice trembled with the rawness of his emotions. "I'm just so scared that I'm going to lose everything."

"If you're not scared, you're not human." Your words hang in the air for a moment and they couldn't be more true. After Leon encountered those soulless monsters again and again in different forms, it was nice to be reminded that although these feelings are awful, they're a reminder that he's still alive. He's still somewhat himself. Leon clutched onto your words like a lifeline, desperate for the reassurance that you were truly here for him. Your soothing touch and comforting words echoed in his mind, pushing back the darkness that threatened to consume him. "I'm not going anywhere."

In that moment, he allowed himself to believe in the words you spoke. He found solace in the bond you shared, in the unconditional love you offered.

Letting out a shaky sigh, his arms leave your side and his hand finds its way to yours, intertwining his fingers with yours in a silent gesture of trust. "You always know the right things to say to get me to relax," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "And I promise you that I'll do everything I can to make sure you're safe and that what happened in Raccoon City never happens again." His grip on your hand tightened slightly as if clinging to you as an anchor in the storm.

Your eyebrows stitch together in a concerned expression, your free hand still messing with Leon's blond strands of hair to try and soothe him. You can hear determination and fear in his voice as he speaks. "I know, angel, I know..." was the only thing you could say in response. Life is unpredictable and you can't change fate, but the way Leon was speaking with his voice full of vindictiveness, you can almost believe him too. "Now, how can I get you to relax, hmm?"

A faint smile tugged at the corners of Leon's lips as he gazed up at you, his eyes still moist from his earlier tears. He appreciated your understanding; it meant the world to him to have someone who truly comprehended the fear and pain he had experienced.

He sighed softly, his body finally beginning to relax against your comforting touch. "Well, cuddling always seems to do the trick," he replied, his voice laced with a hint of playfulness, attempting to lighten the heavy mood. Leon shifted position, allowing you to maneuver more comfortably beside him and you couldn't help but crack a slight smile at his change in demeanor, feeling an odd sense of pride wash over you. It was nice to know that Leon was going to be able to have a good night's sleep now thanks to you. These restless nights usually end up bringing the two of you together, making him strong enough to face another day of the everyday horrors he has to deal with. He feels that he could face any monster that comes his way with you by his side.

dividers by the lovely @cafekitsune <33

© vxnillavampir 2023 - don’t copy, steal, translate, or repost any of my works.

[randoimago]

Thank you so much for keeping up with the writing! I know I struggle sometimes so I can imagine there are probably days where it's a bit hard to keep up?

All being well, could I get a friends to lovers with Brassius (Pokemon), where they're artist friends? Thank you 🙏💚💚

Picture Perfect

Fandom: Pokemon: Scarlet / Violet

Character(s): Brassius

Type of Request: 3,000 Followers Oneshots

Note(s): I have over 60 in the drafts rn so I know once the ask box is closed that I'll have a time 😅 But I do hope you enjoy this!!

Edit: Hi, Current Mod Kat. Yeah it was a time but a fun time!!

"That's the wrong shade of blue."

"It's the shiny version."

Brassius gives a small smile at your remark to him deliberately trying to mess with you. He's not usually one to be playful when it comes to art, but with your long friendship and how serious you look while drawing a pokemon. You look really cute in his eyes, and he couldn't help making a bit of a comment.

Brassius moves to work on his own drawing, making sure the colors are exact as he glances to his rotom where a reference photo of an Applin is. There is a curious legend behind the small pokemon and while it's usually talking about the physical pokemon, he hopes a picture can suffice. He has to duck behind his easel just in case you happened to look up and saw his blush.

He's been trying to keep this painting hidden from you. You'll see it when it's done, he promised you that. But he needs to make sure it's perfect. Brassius has finally decided he's had enough of just being friends with you and hopes that this is enough to convey his feelings when words don't come as easily. If only he could get the details perfect.

"I'm surprised your painting hasn't caught on fire." He's snapped out of his concentration as he looks over at you, seeing you already giving him an amused look. "You were glaring pretty heavily," you explain, and he lets out an "ah" as he didn't realize that.

"I need to make this perfect," he responds and hears the hum that you give him. "Sorry if I'm distracting you."

"It's fine, Brass." He gives you a look at the nickname, but there is a small smile on his face too. "What are you working so hard on?"

"You'll see when it's finished." He can't help a chuckle as you make another attempt to find out what he's working on as he dips his brush into some more paint to work more on his painting. He hears the grumble you give, and another chuckle leaves his lips.

There's some more small talk exchanged as you both work on your own art pieces. But the longer Brassius stares at his painting, the more he sees everything wrong with it. Doubt begins to cross his mind as if he should give this to you. You don't deserve anything but the best. Maybe he should go out and catch an actual Applin for you at this point.

"Aw, what a cute little guy." Brassius jumps as he hears your voice behind him. He turns quickly and tries to position his body in front of the painting, but you already saw it.

"Didn't I say-"

"I got impatient." Brassius narrows his eyes at you cutting him off as well as sneaking a glance at his painting that was supposed to be a secret. "But it does look really cute. Almost like the real thing. Why an Applin?" You ask him and he grumbles a bit as he steps aside so you can see the painting again. There isn't a reason to hide it considering you already saw.

"I wanted to give it as a gift. But I can't get it right," he tells you with a frown as he looks at the painting, only seeing mistakes and flaws in his eyes. A sigh leaves your lips and he sees the tired smile you give him.

"Brassius, we both know where this line of thinking leads. The painting is fantastic. I can see it's an Applin, there lighting effect you have that really makes the pokemon shine. It's obvious you put so much effort into this," you state as you continue pointing out all the things in the painting that make it perfect. The mistakes he saw before dimming a bit as he takes in your encouragement.

"The painting is for you, so I'm glad you enjoy it," Brassius says as he glances to you to see your expression. His previous confidence over this idea coming back slowly. "I know it's not the actual thing, but there's a legend with Applins in Galar..." He trails off as he waits to see if you understand what he's trying to say. Judging by your expression, you do.

"Brassius, are you-"

"I treasure our friendship. But I would be honored if you'd accept my feelings for you. I understand if you don't, but you're more important to me than any art piece I could dream of," he confesses as he stares into your eyes, making sure you know how serious he is.

There are a few moments of pause as you process what he just admitted to you. He continues to give you the determined look, not wanting to lose hope until he heard you speak.

"I... I have feelings for you too," you say, and he feels his heart soar as he smiles at you. He doesn't quite know what to say or do now because none of it would do how he feels justice. So he just leans in and presses a kiss to your forehead.

[scribbleseas]

Hi!! Hope ur having a nice day/night so far! <3

I honestly just wanted to say how I absolutely love ur work- I CANT EVEN FIND WORDS TO EXPRESS IMY LOVE FOR IT PROPERLY- BUT I'LL TRY MY BESTT-😭😭

At first I was just going thru the black butler fandom tags to find a good fanfic, when I stumbled upon ur work. At first glance it was intimidating to jump into a whole new famfic with multiple chapters, but honestly I'm *SOO* glad I did!

I haven't been caught up with any new chapters since I've last read it but, nonetheless all I can say is that ur work/writing is a whole *experience*🤌✨. And I mean it in every sense. Even tho it's been well over a month or so since I've read it I can still remember the scenes that play out; coupled with your beautiful writing that genuinely makes it seem like I'm transported into ur story ur telling. All the feels, the scenarios are still stuck in my mind when I think back to your work and honestly I don't think I'll ever find anything else which could even come close to replicating what I felt when I read ur work.

I cannot ever find the exact words or thank you enough for how you've been able to help me find an escapism in ur heavenly writing that should really be called an art form. (Srsly I'm not even joking-). And I definitelyy plan to re-read all ur chapters from start to finish during my holidays.

I honestly really reallyyy admire how ur able to articulate things so well with ur words. Once I started reading, I was sucked in and I couldn't stop reading, to the point that I think I just binge read ur chapters in one day. Honestly I might have gotten up the next day just to read what happens next.

So sorry for the long letter of sorts, I guess I just had a lot to say once I started writing and I hope you've been taking care of urself, mental and physical health as well! Sending u all the love and support in whatever u do and wherever u are <33

(P.S. it's my first time ever writing anything to the author and I honestly hope it didn't come off as weird or creepy or anything-)

- .⁺‧₊✧

Hi, .⁺‧₊✧ Anon!!

Let me just say, oh my god!!

I literally almost cried the first time I read this. I can’t believe you would take the time to sit down and write me such a kind message. I’m so touched that I’m struggling to convey how grateful I am, like I can’t believe you like it so much and I’m absolutely over the moon that you do. I really can’t thank you enough for this ask. All of it. Every syllable, letter, and emoji, lol.

I’m also going to be real: you sent this at the perfect time because I’ve been really struggling with motivation to work on the next chapter. I’ve felt both uninspired and overwhelmed as a first-year in college atm. (Especially because it’s midterm season, gross.) This kind of message was exactly what I needed to help me feel like my work is really there for people, and it’s the quality that I work so hard to make it. I feel much more inspired to pick up my fic outline and my chapter 17 Google Doc and actually get to work. I’ve been putting it off because I hate forcing myself to write— it never comes out good.

But this was exactly what I needed to feel refreshed and ready to start tackling the problems/roadblocks that I’ve run into while I (more intricately) plan out the last 2 chapters in this fic. Who knew, it’s actually pretty tough to wrap up a story!

It means so much that this storyline and its characters are resonating with you, too! I love that TIP is a story that youn can think about when you need a little bit of escapism. That’s literally me, like all the time— that’s where a lot of the ideas for this story came from!!

I’m really so choked up over your whole message, before I sat down to write this message, I came back to re-read it easily five times before I thought I could properly write about the happy tap-dance my heart does when I read it. You didn’t come off as weird or creepy at all, just extremely kind and just amazingly supportive. I’m really grateful that my writing has garnered such sweet and amazing people like you to read it and give me such lovely and well thought out feedback. It’s not something I expected, at all, being a novice fic writer with a brand-new Tumblr, and a slowburn Black Butler fic. And it’s certainly nothing I expected when I first thought of this plot like…six years ago! In middle school!

Anyways, I write for all of you, and feedback like this just warms my heart.

Thank you so much for your love, support, and faith in me. I’m so honored <3

- Dan

[menlove]

Same anon here, I don’t think you quite understood what I was trying to say and that’s okay because I just didn’t phrase it correctly. I wrote afabs because that’s honestly just easier to type, I tend to cringe when I use it as well. Back to the point: It’s less about gender essentialism and tbf the anecdotal evidence thing is definitely tricky, so we could go all day going back and forth, but that’s not gonna be productive. What I was trying to say is that it’s even engrained deeply in older people that *women experience attraction differently*. And yeah, that is gender essentialism that I don’t agree with, of course. I know there’s plenty of women who are horny beyond belief. But there’s some truth in the fact that there’s a standard for sexuality set that’s called *allosexual* and I honestly doubt that that standard is free of gender bias and free of oversimplification. And I definitely also wasn’t trying to say *you think you’re special for being ace*, even if I think some ace takes online are annoying when it comes to material reality of discrimination based on sexuality (see discourse about kink at pride). I’m on the aro ace spectrum, I just don’t need that identity label. But I talk to others and understand completely why they need it, I’m not gonna sit here and yell at them just because I don’t necessarily need that label.

Maybe what I was trying to convey is a bit too convoluted, I find it hard to find the words for this without it coming off wrong. I’ll sit on it and think about it again or how to phrase it. But thank you for your perspective, I find it very hard to talk about this because everyone I know who identifies as asexual is very defensive about this and I haven’t had the most positive experiences. I’m always willing to have my mind changed!

sorry this took me a bit to answer but aaah yeah i get you !!

(throwing under a readmore bc my response got long rip dw it's nothing bad i just tend to ramble)

and honestly i agree w 99% of what ur saying here and sorry i kinda jumped the gun a bit on misinterpreting ur point there. but yeah no i definitely feel all of this and i do think there's a big conversation to be had around what gets labeled "allosexual" and why bc it, like most other things when it comes to sexuality/health, is based around cishet white men and how they experience things. and i'm in the same boat as you as being on the ace spectrum but not really labeling it bc i don't find i Need to unless it's relevant (usually when it comes to talking to partners and making sure to set boundaries/expectations/etc but this is smth i think is important in any relationship regardless of how you identify).

oh and a quick clarification bc i don't want you to think i was trying to jump down Your throat but the "you think you're special for being ace" thing was more about how like. that's typically what Many ppl who say things along the lines of "everyone does that!" are saying. so while i absolutely love and welcome nuanced convos and pov's like yours the post was more abt ppl that are coming at it from a very black and white way that is super annoying

but yeah i agree like i think at the end of the day there's a lot of nuance to be had around the topic of micro-labels. and i think part of the issue is that a lot of people get very defensive on both sides (see the other anon that wound up in my ask after you lmfao). when in reality it's a complex situation that i think comes down to like...... everyone on earth experiences sexuality/gender/attraction in a unique way and you're never going to have the same exact experience as someone who shares your labels + there will always be someone w similar experiences that uses different labels. and these can be harmful to some people and helpful to some people & we should absolutely be able to have the conversations around ways in which they're harmful and ways in which they're helpful

bc i do agree that i think a Lot of people are on the "ace" spectrum and don't label it that way or need to and perhaps the category of "allosexual" to mean typical attraction needs to be workshopped bc what IS typical attraction and why is it typical ? and tbh the same can be said abt neurodivergent vs neurotypical.

overall i think it just comes down to what you feel most comfortable with and what labels/non-labels make you feel best abt yourself and feel truest to yourself. but we should definitely leave room to Have conversations on what is being viewed as normal vs what is being viewed as atypical

(also yeah lmao i do agree on ur point abt feeling a lil annoyed around conversations abt being realistic abt oppression and i say that as an "aspec" person who doesn't label it but. that is a conversation for another day)

[bookwyrminspiration]

hello! just curious, how do you plot out your stories? (for example, what have you done to plan out the wings au? do you have it all in your head? do you plan it out on paper or in a doc specifically for it? do you just go with the flow? sorry if this is a lot of questions lol i'm just trying to convey my point-)

hello, synonym!! lovely to see you again! I'd love to share my process!

as I explain my personal methods (again, personal, just how I do things!), I'll use the wings au as an example because i know you've read it and it'll just be easier over all. but essentially, yes to all of the above, just with different parts of the story!

my progression is: chaotic doc, background (as needed), basic written plot, expansion on the plot, any other details needed, and then just write things! but don't worry, I'll provide more detail, i say as if i'm capable of being concise

(putting below a readmore for simplicity)

chaotic doc: so, the very first thing I do when i have a story is open up a doc, and write down everything i know about it in little bullet points and rambling sentences, just basic information with no organization. the organizing can come later, right now I just want to get as much of what's in my head onto the paper as possible.

I type out the basic premise of the story or the few things I know about how I want it to go, the things I know I want to remember later, things I'd need to think about to set it up, etc. for the wings au, this was details like everyone's wings (things to remember later), how they got those wings and a sentence or two about what the world was like now (things I needed to think about to set it up), a little blurb about where the story would start. this is less writing details about the story, and more noting down the details I want to figure out later in the expansion. i find it works best to type this out because i'm a much faster typer than I am at physical writing, which allows me to follow the flow of my thoughts a lot better and go back and change things.

background: background prepares me for the next step, but the amount of effort I put into this section depends on how complex my story is. it basically means write down (we've moved to pencil and paper now, but this could be digital too if you prefer) anything you need to know in order to set up the rest of your story. what do you need to know in order to tell the story you need to and to get you where you want to be? for the wings au, the background was that the world had been overrun with monsters and everyone was living underground now. the neverseen had been defeated, or so they thought, coming back later. all these things that essentially prepared me to get to the plot. it told me where the story was happening and the emotional/physical environment everything else would happen under. if you have a more worldbuilding heavy world, this step might be a little more complex, or if there's something very specific with the characters you need as context beforehand.

sometimes the readers will be aware of pieces of the background, and it's even necessary for them to know--for example, you all knowing the elven world is in the middle of a monster apocalypse and living underground; if you didn't know, the rest of the story wouldn't make any sense. but there may be things you write down that are just for you to know, personal notes. for example, I have notes written about how the monsters came to be, more specifically, that you all haven't been made aware of and may never be. planning this out is for you, so if there's something you want to remind yourself to keep in mind while writing, this could be a good place. but now that we know the world we're writing in, we can move on

basic plot: for me, I struggle to figure out where to take a story, and if I don't have the basic concept laid out before I start writing, I ended up with really weird stories that completely deviate from what i wanted (I say this from experience). so I break it down into the bare essentials. literally as basic as I can be. there are five crucial parts of a plot: exposition, rising action, climax, falling action, and resolution. just those five. for each of those, i write--writing, because it takes more time (allows me to think) and feels more organized to me, but you can do it differently--just the general idea I have for each section. just as few words as possible. detail comes later. for the wings au I literally wrote "they get wings" for rising action. having read the wings au, you know just how simplified that is.

one things that might help is consider how you would explain this idea to someone in one or two sentences. you just want to make sure you have a beginning, middle, end, and the transition between them. from there you've got the skeleton of your story, and everything else can fit itself into this idea.

expansion: now that you have the skeleton, it's time to fill in some of the more essential anatomy. this is where you add the specifics. for me, i write this physically in bullet points in a journal of some kind. I take the first section, and write down how the story is going to start. where am I going to begin this journey. for the wings au I wrote "beginning: sneaking into breeding facility to destroy monsters. problem: caught/monster breaks loose." if you remember this is essentially the events of the first chapter but in two sentences. I'm giving enough detail that I know what I'm going to write, but not so much it's going to be stifling to follow my exact notes when I actually get to writing. this will be different for different people, so you may want more or less detail than I provided, I'm just giving an example of how I did it.

I continue this for the rest of the plot, but that doesn't mean every single little detail that will ever happen is planned out. I'm not patient enough to be super thorough with every little thing, so I go long enough until I have a solid understanding of what I'm going to start with when I'm writing, or just until I'm bored and can't deal with planning anymore. for me, that meant I was more detailed when planning from the mission in the facility to them getting to the abandoned gnomish village, as those would be some of the first things I would be writing about. after that, I got more vague and just touched on some of the key part of each of those five sections. I take those two/three words and turn them into two/three bullet points. I also didn't want to be too specific with the later details, because I knew i'd be influenced by things as I wrote and would be inspired to fill that out.

any other details: this is kind of any afterthoughts you might have or details you need to keep i mind that aren't necessarily plot. you may have a lot of these, or you may have none. for me, this was where I wrote down what kinds of wings and other animalistic traits each of the characters had (yes, I wrote them down again). it's not strictly plot, but it does affect the rest of the story. this is also where I write anything I forgot to when going through the first time, and then i can draw a little arrow pointing towards where it fits in to the rest of the story or is relevant (which is part of why I like the writing aspect, but this is entirely achievable on a doc). another example from the au is me writing "domestic" to the side and pointing it back to my notes about the gnomish village, because while it wasn't essential to moving the plot forward, i wanted to touch on some aspects of domestic live with the ten of them while they were there.

just write things: now that you have all this planning done (good job, you!) you can get into the writing aspect. you've already decided your beginning and know where you want to go, so this is the part where you just starting putting words on the page. it can be pretty daunting to just look at a blank page, so if you'd like, start a paragraph in. skip the first paragraph and just start in the middle of something else--you can add back what's missing later. I personally note things that I want to come back to inside [brackets like this], and that can be words, sentences, entire paragraphs. i use the square ones specifically because I don't use them in my writing unlike (these parentheses), and then I can search the document for them all at once and see all the places I need to go back.

this is also where the "just in my head" and "make it up as I go" part comes into place. you have a pretty good idea of what you're doing, but you're going to have ideas as you write, so sometimes you just follow the flow of your brain and write things you could've never even planned for. and if you're interacting with others as you're going (like I'm talking about theories with you all while writing future chapters) then you may be inspired by them to add things to the story. originally, I wasn't going to even have any messages from Bronte or Oralie, but now because I saw what some of the people reading it were picking up on, I realized the potential there and added them in on a whim

and sometimes when you get stuck, the best way to get yourself out of that is to just add something random, which can spiral off and affect the rest of the story. I've said it before, but the dragons were not planned. I'd actually seen a piece of writing advice months ago that if you're stuck, change the weather. so I was stuck and made a sudden rainstorm, but then I needed an explanation as to how things got so wet so fast because I'd mentioned clear skies earlier. so in my attempt to explain it, dragons came to exist. writing is a process, so don't limit yourself to everything you've written. you'll be inspired along the way, so try to take it in stride.

one final note: as much as you plan, this is not going to be a definite map for how the story will go. maybe something makes sense as you're planning it out, but when you get to actually writing it makes no sense as all and you need to change things. that's fine! this kind of a plan is just to get you prepared and keep you afloat amongst this ocean of words trapped in your head that you want to transcribe. if something isn't working, change it! in my original written plan for the wings au they weren't going to run away for a few weeks, instead sneaking out for an hour or two at a time over those few weeks because they couldn't stand being underground anymore, until Linh was actually the first one to make contact with a creature and realize it didn't immediately want to kill her. but because she's not the narrator of this story, I couldn't write it the way i wanted, so I gave that to sophie in the tree.

this is just my approach to my more complicated stories! for some of the really quick ones, I just open a doc and start going. this kind of thinking keeps me organized so that I'm doing the idea the most justice. but just because it works for me doesn't mean it'll work for everyone. if it does work for you, great! but if there are parts you need to modify for yourself, you are more than encouraged to do so. personally, if I could only chose one part of this process to rely on, it would be the basic plot. that's the key to everything for me, but for others it might be something different.

I hope this helps with whatever it is you're writing!! I wish you luck and look forward to seeing whatever it is (should you chose to share it, no pressure)!! if you'd like more of my process on how I write it consistently and update on a schedule, I'd be more than happy to talk about that too!

[hanoella]

Affettuoso- With Feeling (Part 3)

Pairing: Bucky x Pianist!Reader

Set after the events of TFATWS: In an effort to start over and make a home in Louisiana, Bucky meets a friend of Sam’s who ends up being his landlord. With only a driveway to separate them, he finds that he’s not the only one looking for a fresh start.

Series tags/warnings: Slow Burn, Eventual Bucky x Reader, Mentions of Domestic Abuse, Canon Level Violence

Part 3 Word Count: 3k

A/N: Can you tell I don't really have a posting schedule? lol. I also introduced links to the specific pieces I had in mind. I'm using soundcloud because I don't think everyone has access to spotify. Trying to be reader friendly! This can be read with or without the audio, as I do my best to still convey the thought in the fic. Though if you can, I highly recommend :)

Thanks again for all your support! Every heart and comment motivates me and is just so wonderful

Read Part 1; Masterlist

---

A few days had passed since the night that Bucky had overheard your troubles. It had been quiet since, and you hadn’t left the house. The curtains were opened during the day and closed at night, the only telltale signs that you existed.

Doesn’t she have to work? Bucky thought to himself. He speculated all the different possibilities as he used the riding mower around the property. Maybe you were an heiress? You seemed pretty down to earth though. Or maybe you sold a patented idea for a ton of money. All this land had to have been expensive. And to not request actual money from him?

He eyed up the width of the gate for your fence. The riding mower couldn’t fit so he would have to use a push mower for your fenced off yard. He hadn’t seen one in the garage. Maybe the old shed at the back of your yard had one? Bucky parked the mower in the garage, taking a moment to make a mental list of everything. Depending on if he found anything in the shed, he might need to buy a few basic tools and a chainsaw for that fallen tree.

He walked out of the garage and over to the shed. The leaves were changing color and it brought a whole new atmosphere to the secluded forest area. Opening the gate of the weathered white fence, he looked around to see if you were out. No signs of life. Entering the yard and closing the gate behind him, he started walking to the back. Halfway through, he stopped at the fire pit. The grey stone blocks were starting to crumble, with a few of the bricks having fallen off. It would probably be really nice if he got a little bit of cement mix and filled in the gaps. Bucky made another mental note.

The shed had no padlock so he was able to open it with no problem. Amongst the cobwebs and bags of soil, was an older green push mower that looked like it might work. He gave the gas a pull and got no response back. Looking underneath, Bucky saw what might be the problem. He’d have to take a closer look later. Putting the lawn mower back onto its wheels, he pushed it across the yard, pausing when he saw movement though the glass doors of the back patio.

Craning his neck to avoid the glare, he saw you sitting at your fancy full keyboard. The way the piano was against the opposite wall, your back was to him. You had big over-ear headphones plugged into it, so he couldn’t hear the sound but he saw the flurry of keys being pressed down. Whatever you were playing, you played passionately. Hands and arms gracefully moved despite the speed at which they were moving. Enhanced hearing coming into play, he heard the muffled clicks of the fluttering keys. Suddenly, you pressed down forcefully, holding whatever chord you had struck as your shoulders gently relaxed. A deep breath. Arm creating a graceful arc as if you had studied ballet, you pressed gently on another chord. And another. Bucky counted three more times you did this before you let your hands gently fall from the keys to your lap. Several moments passed before slid the headphones off of your ears to sit wrapped around your neck. Another deep breath. This time as the breath escaped you, you stayed slouched, head tilting up to stare at nothing on the wall.

A buzz broke Bucky from his trance.

“Call me, new mission” The text from Sam on his home screen said.

He pocketed his phone, glancing through the glass one more time. There you still sat.

Unmoving.

---

The roar of the plane’s engine was just loud enough to drown out Bucky’s thoughts without being annoying. If it weren’t for the adrenaline of the recovery mission under the cover of nightfall, he probably would’ve been lulled to sleep. Beside him sat Sam, looking on his phone for the exact coordinates of the politician they had been sent to rescue.

“Here it is. I’m assuming there’s some sort of underground base since there are no heat signatures anywhere within the radius where he was taken. It should take us about ten more minutes before we’re directly over it.”

Bucky hummed in acknowledgement.

Sam raised an eyebrow. “Earth to Bucky.”

“What does your friend do?” Bucky asked suddenly, sitting up straighter and turning towards him.

“… What?”

“What does she do? I’ve never seen her leave the house. Is she okay?”

“If you’re asking why she doesn’t leave the house, it’s because her contract doesn’t start for a while. She’s technically still supposed to be in physical therapy but she hasn’t found a place yet. You know, your whole routine gets messed up when you move.”

“For her shoulder?”

Now it was Sam’s turn to look at Bucky, trying to decipher the motive behind these questions. Bucky shifted his weight in the chair, antsy under the scrutiny.

“Never mind, I-”

“Yes, for her shoulder.” Sam said, cutting him off. He stopped himself from asking why Bucky wanted to know. There was an awkward pause before Bucky explained himself.

“I just wanted to know. I’m not used to seeing people so…”

“Similar to yourself?”

“I was gonna say isolated but fair point.” Bucky admitted. Sam leaned back in his chair, looking straight forward.

“She’s been through a lot… I know you heard some of it.”

Bucky blinked in surprise.

“I realized the window was open when I could hear you drive off.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s alright, it’s good that you know.” Sam said as he held up his hand to cut Bucky off.

“She’s just trying to get a fresh start. She’s in a raw emotional space and in the meantime is a little skittish. Just like someone else I know.” Sam jabbed his elbow into Bucky’s side as he enunciated the last sentence.

“Okay, okay, I get it. I’m trying!” He shouted as he held one hand up defensively and using the other to block the second jab Sam was trying to get in. Sam chuckled and then stood up, grabbing a parachute pack and tossing it at Bucky, who caught it without even looking.

“Figured you might wanna try an actual chute this time.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and mouthed Sam’s words mockingly with a grimace as he put the backpack on. Clipping it into place, he joined Sam at the side door of the plane.

“She used to play in an orchestra you know.” Sam said wistfully. “The piano. That’s actually how we met. She had volunteered to play a small concert before the dinner. It really helped raise a lot of money for the VA.”

Bucky stayed silent, prompting him to continue.

“Then that bastard she was engaged to beat her and then shoved her down a set of concrete steps when she tried to leave him. It was like a month after we all came back. She was in the hospital for a while. Broken ribs, broken shoulder, and a nasty concussion to boot. Neighbor saw the whole thing and called the cops but the courts were so backed up and the case fell through the cracks. Wouldn’t leave her alone after he got out. So, I pulled some strings and helped her move down here on the fly.”

“… That’s terrible.”

Bucky didn’t know what to say or how to react. They stood in silence, taking a moment to pay a respect of sorts to the trials you have been through. Then Sam broke the silence.

“She just needs time to heal in more ways than one. But she’s strong. Resilient.”

Putting a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, he squeezed it lightly with reassurance.

“Reminds me of someone else I know.” Sam said, finishing the conversation and pulling his goggles over his eyes, giving Bucky the opportunity to take the compliment without feeling too on the spot.

Pulling the door open, Sam shouted over the wind.

“Ready?”

Bucky nodded. Sam jumped from the plane and deployed the wings, the shield shining in the moonlight. Bucky jumped right behind him, using the glint of the silver star to guide his descent as he followed the man that gave the shield its meaning.

---

You laid with your head down on the kitchen table, letting the last golden rays of sun warm the side of your face. You were exhausted from going to physical therapy, especially since today had been the first appointment. All the measurements, all the exercises, all the stretching.

All the questions.

“So, how did you break your shoulder?” the young blonde physical therapist asked.

“Ah, I… fell down some stairs.” You said, looking down at your hands in your lap.

She didn’t look up from the papers, instead just raising an eyebrow.

“You also cracked some ribs and had a concussion?”

“… They were concrete.”

She looked up from the papers at you, analyzing. Her gaze softened and she asked no further questions on how these serious injuries had been obtained.

“Let’s look at your range of motion.”

You had practically stumbled into the house, kicking off your sneakers and plopping down at the kitchen table. Minutes passed by as you regained your breath, heartbeat steadying. The house was slightly cold since you had turned the heat down this morning. As your sweat cooled, you wrapped your arms around your legs in an attempt to keep you warm without getting up.

The sun feels so warm… You thought to yourself drowsily, feeling slightly less lonely. The sun was a cheap substitute for the warmth of a partner…

---

You jolted upright, the kitchen dark and cold. Neck and shoulder stiff from the awkward position you had dozed off in. Feeling the dryness of your mouth, you got up, stretching your neck gently while you walked to the fridge to get water. Chugging about half the bottle, you squinted at the clock. You had been asleep for about forty-five minutes. Groaning, you put the bottle down on the counter and walked into the living room to close the curtains. Grabbing one in each hand, you went to pull them together when you hesitated, noticing that Bucky’s apartment was dark for the third day in a row. The sleek motorbike that was usually parked under the slight overhang of the garage was missing as well.

He was probably on a mission, right? Not that it was any of your business. You shut the curtains and turned off the lights before lightly padded down the hall, stopping to adjust the thermostat. The heat kicked on, sending a puff of cold air your way. You shivered as you walked with a quickened pace to your room, shutting the door and heading into the master bathroom, turning the hot water on with just a tad of cold.

Waiting for the shower to warm up, you leaned over the sink and looked into the mirror. Dark circles under your eyes. Small scar on the bridge of your nose. Running your hand through the roots of your hair, you felt for the scar where the stitches had been. When was the last time you had a haircut? Or put on some makeup?

Some higher being must’ve felt pity for you since the steam from the shower fogged the glass, preventing you from tearing yourself apart any further. Stepping underneath the warm stream, you let the warmth seep into your muscles, then bones, filling every fracture and break with a temporary sense of wholeness until the emptiness of your heart and home caused it slowly to drip out until it, along with you, was gone.

---

The next morning, you weren’t motivated to do anything. You lounged around the house, sipping on coffee and browsing on your phone for furniture, clothes, even sneaking a peak at some pianos. Wanting to invest in one you’d use for the next several decades, you had put off buying one until the money from your contract with the orchestra started in a month. You were still well off, nowhere near struggling and probably wouldn’t ever be unless you decided to buy a mansion (which was a no). You just wanted to be careful.

In the afternoon, you popped a pain killer and muscle relaxer in preparation for the few hours you wanted to practice. Thirty minutes went by and the ever-present ache in your shoulder calmed enough to let you practice with relative peace. Sitting on the bench in front of the keyboard, you pondered what you might play to warm up.

Hmm, maybe a Chopin prelude? Short, emotional, familiar.

Your left hand held the soft deep chords as your right hand softly flitted around the higher notes. Breathing in and out with the music, you tried to ignore the ache that start to surround your shoulder.

Playing the last few notes, you paused before reaching over to the bottle of painkillers.

---

Shortly after finishing up, you dragged a small table outside next to the wooden bench swing that was hanging on the porch. Bundled up in a soft sweatshirt, long-sleeve shirt, wool lined leggings, fuzzy socks and slippers, you brought out your hot tea, several blankets, a pillow, and a book you had been meaning to read for months. You were determined to do something besides practice, watch TV, and scroll on your phone.

You settled onto the bench, wrapping the blanket around you, nice and toasty from the layers trapping in the heat of a thorough practice session. The extra medication had really helped keep the pain at bay. Tentatively sipping the steaming cup, you closed your eyes to further appreciate the sweet tones of peach and honey. Setting the cup in your lap with one hand, you used your other hand to flip open to the first page.

---

Bucky hadn’t expected the mission to get so complicated. Finding the base was one thing, navigating in and out of the expansive maze was another. It took a few days to successfully get the target out and back to the embassy. He hadn’t properly slept during that time due to taking shifts with Sam. Not that it was any different from how he slept at home.

The sun was letting its last few rays bless the earth when he turned onto the driveway. Taking it easy on the gravel, he eased his posture and slowed the bike. He put pressure on the brakes as he made it past the final wall of trees that hid the water that was reflecting the last bit of color left in the sky. Rolling casually into a stop, he parked and let out a deep breath, shoulders sinking.

A stray bird calling out turned his attention in the direction of your house. The porch light was on. That’s new, he thought. Squinting his eyes, he saw a bundle on the porch swing. Was that you? Quietly walking over while taking his leather gloves off, he confirmed his suspicions. There you were, lying on your side propped up by a large fuzzy pillow. Eyes closed and breathing rhythmically. Scanning the scene, he noticed the mug on the side table, empty except for the used teabag. Your book was closed, the page you were on marked by one of your fingers. You must’ve fallen asleep while reading.

“Hey…” Bucky said gently. No response besides a small nose scrunch.

He repeated himself a little louder, squatting to be at eye level while gently setting his hand on your arm and shaking you lightly. You groaned this time, eyes fluttering open, taking a moment to focus. You squinted and pushed yourself up into a sitting position, losing your place in the book and attempting to blink the heavy drowsiness from your eyes.

“Bucky?” You questioned hoarsely as you met his eyes. He was still crouching so you were looking slightly down at him. Brow furrowed, you searched the blue of his eyes before looking around to see how dark it had gotten. As you turned your head back to him, he stood back up, scratching the back of his neck just to occupy his hands.

“It’s starting to get cold. I didn’t want you to spend the rest of the night out here.” He explained, choosing to look out at the water, now dark. When he turned his head back, you had also turned your head to look at the water, exposing the side of your neck, the tendons and clavicle accentuated by the strain. Bucky swallowed and your eyes met his, oblivious.

“Ah, thank you. I must’ve fallen asleep reading. I just started going back to physical therapy so I’ve just been so wiped… Anyway,” you said, dismissing yourself mid-thought. He didn’t want to hear about all that. “…did you just come back from a mission?” You eyed the diagonal cuts of leather on his jacket, noting the missing sleeve that exposed the glint of the metal.

“Yeah. I was gone for a few days.”

“Okay. I’m glad you’re home safe.” You mindlessly said, picking up the book and other various items strewn about.

Home safe. What an unfamiliar phrase.

As the words echoed in his mind, you had opened the door and stepped in, turning your head slightly to look back at him.

“Thanks again… Good night.”

“Good night.” Bucky replied, watching as you shut the door softly behind you.

Slowly walking down the porch steps, he crossed the driveway to the garage. Turning his head just in time to see the last light turn off in your house, he stood with his hand on the knob, meditating on the effect that one short sentence had on him.

Glad you’re home safe. Was this what it was like when you had someone waiting on you at home? The tired eyes and gentle smile. Would that be what it was like when he came home in the middle of a night from a mission when he had someone to share a bed with? Gently shaking them to let them know he was home? Or would he try to sneak into bed without waking them? He tried to imagine what that sort of intimacy would be like as he entered his apartment and then his room. Unzipping his jacket and tossing it over a chair, he stripped down to his boxer briefs and climbed into bed, wondering what it would be like if it was already warm.

[es-kay-zee]

Goodbyes part 2 | Hyunjin x Reader

genre: angst, fluff

warnings: none

requested: kinda? yeah?

word count: 2.1k

proofread: nope

taglist: @bxngchxn @jisungsplatforms @qtieskz

a/n: i couldn't be bothered making a new moodboard for this one so i'm just using the same one for part 1. maybe i'll make a new one tomorrow but not right now lol

____________________

Four days. It’s been four days since that phone call. And not a single one had gone by where Hyunjin didn’t cry himself to sleep while hugging your pillow. And every single one of those days, he’d dragged himself to practice and put on a face in front of the other boys, pretending that everything’s okay, when in reality he just wants to curl up into a ball and cry.

Four days and you still hadn’t been around to pick up your things. Being honest, he wished you already taken it all. It was getting harder. Coming home each day, expecting to find the apartment empty of your belongings. But when he walks through the door and finds everything in the exact same place as it was when he left in the morning gave him a false hope. A hope that maybe you won’t leave, that maybe you’ll come back and kiss him tell him that you’ll give him another chance. But knowing that that’s not going to happen just breaks his heart all over again.

It’s another two days before you show up. It’s 10 am on a Friday, and you didn’t want to come yet, knowing that the moment you do, it’ll feel real. That it’ll hit you like a truck that the best relationship of your life is truly over. But you didn’t want to wait too long either, after all, it’s better to rip the band-aid off quickly.

You slide the key into the lock, taking a deep breath before turning the handle and pushing the door open. The apartment is quiet, and something about stepping back into the place you called home feel uneasy. Almost as if you don’t belong there anymore. Similar to that feeling when you go to someone else’s house for the first time, and you don’t know how to act. That’s how you feel in the place you lived in for so long.

You close the door and take off your shoes, tightening your grip on the folded-up boxes in your arms. It feels weird. You don’t know what you were expecting but finding everything in the exact same place as it was when you last walked out seems strange. Things have changed, so why does every knick-knack remain in its place as if nothing were different.

You walk towards the bedroom, the only sound in the otherwise silent apartment is that of your soft footsteps on the hardwood flooring. You make it to the bedroom and place all the boxes down except for one. You open it up and step closer to your drawers of clothes, and slowly start placing the clothing into the box. You continue like this for a while, silently packing until your drawers are empty. There’s something about the silence of the house that makes you not want to make a sound. Normally you’d put on a playlist and dance as you pack, but not this time.

You move over to your bedside table, planning to start placing more of your things into various boxes. But in the corner of your eye, you stop something on your pillow that you hadn’t seen earlier. It’s a note. A piece of paper that’s been folded up neatly and placed gently on the pillow. Your name is written tidily on the front in Hyunjin’s handwriting, and just the sight alone almost has you crying. Part of your mind tells you to just scrunch up the piece of paper and toss it aside, but a bigger part of you desperately wants to read it. And so, you slowly pick up the note, take a seat on the edge of the bed, unfold it, and start reading.

dearest y/n

you said i probably wouldn’t be here when you come to pick up your stuff. so i decided to write you this so i can tell you what i want to say. well, assuming that you’ll actually read this, which i hope you do. i really really really hope you read this. gosh, i’m getting off track, sorry.

i want to tell you again just how sorry i am. but i know that no matter how many times i say it, and no matter what way i say it, it will never truly convey just how sorry i am. i wish from the bottom of my heart that this didn’t happen. i wish that i wasn’t such a dick and that i was there when you needed me. i have no excuse for not responding to you or calling you for so long. i’m so so sorry for hurting you. i’m not going to ask for your forgiveness, because i wouldn’t forgive myself if i were you. i already can’t forgive myself. all i want is to tell you how sorry i am, and how much i love you. and seeing as i can’t tell you in person, this note will have to do.

i love you, y/n. ever since we met, you’ve brought me more joy that i ever thought i could otherwise feel. you have the ability to make me laugh and blush like a teenager in love. you make my heart feel warm every time i see you. every time i get a message from you i smile. you make me feel safe and comfortable and i know that i can be vulnerable around you. you make me so giddy with happiness and love. i still get butterflies in my stomach every time i see you or talk to you. you make me smile like an idiot and it’s far too often that the boys have asked me why i’m smiling at my phone. you know that feeling when you’re so happy and smiley that it makes you feel all tingly in the best way? yeah, that’s how you make me feel. you make me laugh and you make me feel confident in myself. even when i feel like everything is crumbling around me, i know that you’re there to help me through. you’ve always been there for me when i need a shoulder to cry on and you have no idea just how much i regret not being there for you when you needed a shoulder. every single day i’m grateful that i got the chance to meet you and i’m especially grateful for the time that i got to call you mine. you’ll always have a special place in my heart. it hurts me when you’re hurting, and for me to be the reason that you’re upset and crying is the worst feeling in the world and i wish with everything i have that i was better. i’m so sorry, and i love you to the moon and back a billion times over.

love from hyunjin

The tears that you managed to keep at bay earlier fall freely now, a few dripping onto the page. Your fresh tears mix with Hyunjin’s dried ones at the bottom of the note, and you’re just glad they avoid smearing any of the ink. There’s a part of you, the part that wanted to discard the note without a second thought, that wants to hate Hyunjin. That wants to hate him for what he did, for making you feel so alone when you needed him. But you can’t. You’ve tried to listen to that part of you ever since you walked out of the apartment weeks ago. But you can’t bring yourself to hate him. It’s not easy when you’ve spent so long loving him. You reach into your pocket, pulling out your phone. You open your contacts and hit Hyunjin’s name, typing out a message to send to him.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Hyunjin sits in the corner, taking a momentary breather from the dance. He’s been going overboard with practicing lately, trying to distract himself from the situation. And it’s worked, until he’s gotten back to the apartment where he’s reminded that you’re gone. His phone buzzes, showing a message from you.

y/n <3: are you busy?

He quickly types back, asking why you’re asking. He hits send, his heart racing, shocked that you’re messaging him. His phone buzzes again with your response.

y/n <3: i was gonna ask if you could come to the apartment but if you’re busy then i won’t

Hyunjin jumps up, walking over the Chan and showing him the message.

“Can I go?” he asks, itching to run out the door and head straight over to you.

“Yeah, okay, you can,” Chan answers. He’s the only person that Hyunjin’s told about what happened, and he’s been worried about the younger man. “If any of the staff asks where you are, I’ll tell them you felt sick and went home.”

Hyunjin nods, says his thanks and rushes out the door. He doesn’t stop until he reaches the apartment door, making the trip in record time. But as he reaches for the handle, he halts. This will be the first time he sees you in person since he left for tour. And it’s not until now that he starts to think about why you messaged. Maybe you read the message, maybe you want to keep the apartment and have him move out instead of you, maybe you want to say goodbye one last time in person. The only way for him to know for certain is to open the door and face you. He’s nervous, but he still opens the door with shaking hands.

“Y/n?” he calls out while closing the door and removing his shoes.

“Bedroom,” is your response, and Hyunjin’s breath hitches at the sound of your voice. He missed the sound; it’s been too long since he’s last heard your voice without you sounding like you’re crying. He heads towards the bedroom, taking one last deep breath before rounding the corner and seeing you. It takes everything in him. Everything to not immediately run up to you and engulf you in a hug just the way he wanted to when he first came home.

You pat the spot on the bed next to you, signalling for him to come and sit. He does just that, slowly walking over, not taking his eyes off of you. He’s missed you too much to look away. If this is the last time he gets to see you, he doesn’t want to miss a single moment. You don’t even look at him yet, instead keeping your eyes trained on your hands in your lap. You both sit in silence for a moment, neither of you wanting to speak first.

“I read the note,” you say, holding up the piece of paper in your hands for a brief moment. You pause, waiting to see if he’s going to say anything, but he doesn’t. “Do you really mean everything you wrote?”

“I do, I mean every last word. I love you so much and I’m so incredibly sorry for not answering any of your messages. It was stupid and I regret it so much.” You finally look up at him, and you find his eyes welling with tears.

“I need you to know how much it hurt me, and that I can’t forgive you. Not yet anyway. But what I can do is give you one more chance. As long as you promise not to do it again. Because if you hurt me like this again, then I will leave, and I won’t come back at all.”

“I promise! I promise that I will never do this again. I promise to be there for you when you need me, and I promise to never hurt you ever again.” It makes you giggle quietly, the way he hold his pinkie finger up to make a pinkie promise. It’s the way you’ve always promised each other things, so you don’t think twice as you link your finger with his. “So does this mean you’re not gonna leave?”

“Yeah,” you say, finally smiling. And Hyunjin’s heart warms at the sight. He loves your smile, it’s one of his favourite things in the entire world. He’s often said that if he were only able to see one thing for the rest of his life, it would be your beautiful smile. “Kiss me?”

You don’t have to ask twice before Hyunjin presses his lips to yours. It’s sweet, the emotions he pours into the kiss. Through it you can feel just how much he loves you, just how much he cares about you. You can feel the sorrow he’s felt and the guilt that’s eaten away at him. The pain, the heartbreak, but most of all you can feel the overwhelming joy he feels at being able to call you his again. But you’re just happy to finally be kissing your boyfriend for the first time in months.

[bangtanpromptsfics]

acacia.

dialogue prompt #1: “Is this illegal?”

pairing: jungkook x reader

genre: f2l, fluff

word count: 1,590

warnings: alcohol consumption, swearing

summary: jungkook is in love with his best friend who would date anybody but him

a/n: these are meant to be for writing practice. feedback is greatly appreciated. it's really short but I hope you like this!! prompt is inspired from pinterest.

masterlist

“Is this illegal?”

Jungkook realises you are dumb, especially with all that alcohol from the party, or more so even without it. 

He takes a sip of his beer and tries to construct a safe sentence which won't come out as rude.

“Bitch”. Well he tried. “You want to rob someone? That too his Balenciaga jacket? ”

You are referring to Namjoon who is busy chatting up girls with his dimples and loads of knowledge, for which he is mostly known. Redefining sexy or something on that line. 

He was hosting this party for reasons you don't remember now anyways, it has something to do with his never ending list of achievements. And he basically invites most of the population of college. I mean free drinks so, whatever. 

“I'm cold Kook, and his jacket looks so warm. He didn't give it when I asked him politely, so let's steal it”, you slur, shifting your body weight around enough to not have your face planted on the floor. 

“You asked him? ”, he squeaks. “You can have mine”, he is removing his denim jacket in the next second, with a look of amuse of course and drapes it over your shoulder, “feeling better?”

“Yes!”, you begin to chime, “It smells like you too!”

Jungkook’s cheeks warm up instinctively. Though sometimes you are a pain in the ass, especially drunk, he had never complained about it. He shoots death glares and unpleasant nose scrunches of course, but nothing more. He'd been your friend for so long, so he should've been used to the random appreciation you give him. He should be immune to your flirty laughs, the way you look absolutely endearing with his hoodie on your small frame and definitely not clench his fist in jealousy when you go out for dates. 

Probably a very cliche best friend in one-sided love story, but he feels so much more complications than that. He was going to confess ages ago, but since you are dumb as I said, would jump around random guys, scare them off with your mouth and wonder why you are single. 

At times he wants to blow a punch to his face, like now, for being so crazy about his best friend, and being limited to only give you some sort of bro love until it's alas the final year of college and he completely misses the chance when you go to Paris for career. 

“Talk something Kookie”, you bump shoulders together to catch the boy's attention who is in deep thought. He was indulgent in walking you to your dorm, and it reaches by ten minutes, and he really just want to fucking kiss you before you go, but he can't. 

He faces you when you rest your face on his shoulder. “What are you thinking about hm?”, you ask. 

“Nothing”. Liar. 

“Well then I have something to say”, you remove your face and gaze on the ground, feeling a little sad already. 

For a second he is hopeful and he doesn't know why. “What about?”

“Yesterday’s date”. Ouch. But as always he is trying his best, “Oh totally forgot about it. How did it go? Any luck? ”

“He stood me up. That asshole didn't even show up. I guess he just wanted sex”, you kick a pebble out of frustration while Jungkook wants to kick his face. It breaks him that he doesn't stand a chance to show you how much you can be loved. That you are more than the body all boys crave and go. 

This time he kicks a pebble, and it jumps fairly up to land on some car’s window. 

“Careful”, you chuckle, “I don't have money for concession”.

“Y/n, why don't you understand when I say someone is playing you? I always warn you, but you choose to do your bullshit anyway”. He is aggressive, but he's just sad; broken. And even though you get it, it sets you off. 

“I am trying to find my soul mate”.

Jungkook couldn't help but laugh out loud, he thinks you are so innocent, so naive to let people run you over because of how soft your heart is. He even bends a little to catch his knees to support himself. 

“What?”, you scoff, crossing your hands across the chest. 

“You want to go on a date?”, he asks. And it takes him off guard too, more than you. But he seemed confident for the first time. Probably because the sober you doesn't remember the drunk you even in the slightest, or perhaps he thinks it'll go right. 

“Date?”, you repeat, “With you?”

“Yeah”

“Like… right now?”

“Yes”, he puts out his hand, waiting for you to join hands. 

What's the worst thing that's going to happen anyways? It's Jungkook, that one person who would give his life to protect you. 

He doesn't say anything for the rest of the walk. It's a bit rushed because he can't simply wait. A whole thunderstorm is rushing inside his veins and he wants to make everything about this just perfect. So perfect that you forget about every date you have ever been too. 

This is surely not the best date he had planned if he ever took you out, but it sounds alright on his mind and wishes it does the same on yours too. 

After a stroll, you're waiting for Jungkook behind some rented building. He returns with a ladder; enough to make it to the first floor. 

He makes sure to stand behind you and assure your safety. The rest of the way up was stairs, several tiring floors and heavy breath. 

He observes your face forms an ‘O’ out of surprise. 

At the rooftop of this building sits the most beautiful view of the city and thankfully starry sky to make things better. 

It's Jungkook’s self-reflection space to be exact. There were things he shared with you of course, you were each other's shoulder to cry on, but ever since he caught feelings for you, he is just afraid he'll end up ranting into a sudden confession and ruin the friendship. 

So he found other ways to cope. You however were convinced that it was some sort of “change” over time. Everyone changes and you believed it was just something of that sorts. 

“It's so beautiful! ”, you grin, “How come you never bring me here you meanie! ”, you smack his arm as you sit down on the ground beside him. 

“I was going too! ”, he fights back,  rubbing his arm. 

“This is a perfect date”, you begin after some moment of silence, “how come you don't go for relationships!? Girls will be so happy to be treated this way! ”

The first part of the sentence makes his chest warm out of pride, but it collapses to where it was before as you end. 

He just knows you'll never know how he feels unless he just says it, without beating around the bush. 

He doesn't say anything and instead gets up to take two cans of beer he had hid somewhere. You are way past your alcohol limit and acting knowingly for once, you reject. 

He opens his and chugs down half of it in one go. 

“Woah… hey Kookie you alright? ”, he flinches when your palm presses against his shoulder. 

“I want to kiss you really bad”.

Bad line of start. 

Your cheeks burn and turn vibrant shades of scarlet, expecting anything but that. But the more you continue to look at him, the more ethereal he looks; attractive, and someone definitely not deserving of petty friend zoning. 

He feels a pair of lips on his cheeks, startling him. He turns around to see your face breathtakingly close. 

He is really slow, studying every clue you give, once he is certain he is doing this with consent, he places both of his palms on your cheek and leans in. 

Jungkook wants to pinch himself because he thinks he is sleeping and it's just another one of his blissful day dreams. But when you nibble on his bottom lip, he thinks maybe not. You are really here, hands on his hair and kissing him. He holds your head more firmly as he begins to dominate the kiss, ambitious to let you know what he had been thinking about you for the past several years. 

His lips are flushed and glossy when you break off of him, but hands still on his body, on his shoulder, taking your time to catch your breath. 

“Y/n...I hope it's clear now. I like you. Like… . I really like you. And it had been killing me for years whenever I see you going behind other guys, sleeping with them just because they agree to take you on a date. Please Y/n, will you give me a…chance”.

Since the author had enough of Y/n’s dumbness as well, the story continues with Y/n accepting him, realising how blind she was. 

You feel already intoxicated by his lips so you give it a peck and hug him, “Yes Koo. And I'm sorry, for all this, and thank you so much for this date, I am looking forward to our second one”, you beam. 

He finds it cute how you think soulmates exist. He doesn't know about all that. He just knows you can make him happy and every heartbreak for you was worth it. So he smiles and nods, nothing conveyed after, until he takes you back to your dorm and kisses you one last time for the day. 

Thank you so much for reading!!

Original Content of ©bangtanpromptsfics

[boyy-wonder-grayson]

Forever Yours

Summary: Dick and reader had a bad break up but things work out at the end.

Request: yes, thanks to @wintercapilson​ !!

Pairings: Dick Grayson x Reader

Warnings: lil angst but nothing bad, swearing and fluff.

Word count: 1807

A/n:hopefully this is as good as i think it is lmao. I really really liked the way this turned out! so feedback and rb’s are always welcomed :)

Based on prompts from this list!

*pics mine*

51. “He’s no good for you”

57. "Days without you are my reminder that there's something wrong"

58." I'm forever yours whether you have me or not"

-----

Dick watched as you laughed at something Brad said. He scoffed thinking what could have been so funny that had you laughing that hard. He drowned the rest of his whiskey before asking the bartender for a refill; he knew he was staring too much, but it was impossible for him to look away when you were having a good time in someone else's arms. He knew he shouldn't be upset about it, after all it was his fault that you two were no longer together, and boy he regretted that every single day.

"You're staring" Donna said sitting in the stool next to his best friend. She asked for another beer while awaiting Dick's answer. She thanked the bartender and took a sip of the beer while rolling her eyes. "You know, it's getting kind of creepy."

"Shut up" Dick said not tearing his gaze from the happy -disgusting- couple. 

"You do know she still loves you right? But at least she had the guts so move on, unlike someone else" Donna mumbled the last part but loud enough for him to hear.

"Look, Donna. I love you, you're my best friend,but shut up.i know I fucked up okay? I know" Dick said drinking the whiskey, liking the burning sensation the liquid left on his throat. "And I know i don't deserve her, or her forgiveness. But seriously, that guy?" He asked looking back at how Brad. 

"You really are stupid aren't you?" Donna asked in a serious tone.

Dick looked back at her not understanding what she's trying to convey.

"Jesus Christ, I mean what can I expect you're a man after all" she mocked him "do you really think that Y/n Is not waiting for you to make another move? Yes, she's with Brad now but it's because you're not with her! She loves you and even though you screw your chances with her, she's still waiting for you to come back. How blind you have to be not to see that?" Donna got up and went back to the group of friends that, unlike Dick, was actually having a good time.

Dick was astonished to hear her friend say that. He actually thought that after what he did, Y/n would hate him. But hearing Donna say that gave him hope. He couldn't stand seeing the girl he loved being touched and loved by someone else. He needed to do something. All the alcohol he consumed was not helping him think straight so instead of waiting to sober up a little he went looking for his girl.

Y/n was glued to Brad's side when Dick approached the group stumbling his way to the group, bumping into anyone that stood on his way to get you. When he finally reached the table he smile at Y/n which looked at him with confusion in her eyes.

"Heyy Y/n can I talk to you?" He slurred his words a little bit "in private" he added the last part quickly.

"Umm, sure" the girl said getting out of Brad's grip and followed the dark haired boy outside. 

She rubbed her arms trying to preserve the heat from leaving her body, but San Francisco nights were cold as ice. They stood outside for a few minutes in silence before Dick spat the words to her.

"He's no good for you,you know?"

"What?" Y/n asked unsure of what he had said.

"Bryan, he's not good for you. You deserve better" he said not looking at her.

"It's Brad, and what do you know what's good for me?" Y/n scoffed. She was tired of Dick's entitlement.

"Because I know you Y/n! And I know you'd never go for someone like Brad" Dick answered quickly. "I know you're only doing this to make me jealous!" 

Y/n laughed bitterly, trying to control herself, she really wanted to punch Dick, "Wow, so everything is always about you Grayson huh?" 

"That's not what I meant" the boy tried to get closer to her buck she took a step back instead getting away from him.

"No, that's exactly what you mean. Drunk minds speak sober thoughts and all that bullshit right?" Y/n turned around to go back inside the bar, she stopped in her tracks without looking at Dick "Go home Dick, get some sleep and then maybe we can talk."

Dick cursed under his breath, tugging at his hair. He knew he screw up yet another opportunity to talk with you about what happened; the alcohol running through his veins evaporated when he saw the look on your face after he said those words to you. He sobered up immediately and even though you didn't shut him down completely,he still feel so stupid for trying to get you back while intoxicated. He was going to have to wait till tomorrow when, hopefully, his head would be in the right place.

---

Dick woke up when he hear Donna's - loud - voice; he groaned in response and hissed when the light hit his half open eyes. 

"Rise and shine sweetheart" Donna said in a sing-song voice. "Ready to fuck things up again with Y/n? Or did you manage to grow some balls overnight that would help you talk to her,you know, like a normal person?" She said smirking at the hungover boy.

"Fuck off" he said grabbing a pillow and hiding his face on it, only for the object to be taken away by none other than his best friend.

"Oh I will fuck off, when you go and apologize to her. Seriously what were you thinking Dick? As if things weren't bad enough you managed to make them even worst" she said sitting next to him.

"I know okay, I will talk to her. Just...give me some time" he replied rubbing his throbbing temple.

"Not gonna happen. You're going to take a shower, have some coffee and you gonna get your ass in line and go talk to her, you hear me? I'm sick and tired of seeing you mope around because you're 'oh so sad because you can't be with her'.

You need to go and fix this, now."

Donna was right and Dick knew this, but he was afraid that you may not be willing to give a relationship another shot, and that terrified him.

He followed his friends advice and within an hour he was ready,and determined to get you back.

---

Ever since her and Dick broke up, Y/n decided that it was best to get her own place. Living in the tower was easy and y/n really enjoyed it,but waking up every day to see your ex boyfriend was not something she looked forward too. 

So she decided to look for a place not too far from the tower in case of an emergency. 

She cleaning some dishes that were in the sink from the night before when she heard a knock on the door. She wiped her hands with a towel and went to open the door. When she saw it was Dick she moved aside so he could get inside and sighed preparing herself for yet another argument.

"I'm sorry" he said first not wanting to beat around the bush any longer. "I was drunk last night and I know that's not an excuse for what I said but I'm really sorry Y/n"

The girl looked at his appearance and noticed the bags under his eyes and how dull his eyes were;it was weird seeing him so defeated, she hated to see him like this.

"I know Dick, but we've been having this type of conversation for weeks now. And I- I'm just tired of it ending in a fight where one of us always gets hurt" she said looking down, finding the rug under her feet quite interesting.

Dick took a step forward and when she didn't backed away, he smiled a little.

"Look at me" he said softly, lifting her face with a finger under her chin, looking over at her glossy eyes. "You deserved better than this, than me" he said.

"Don't you think I have some say in that?" She asked him grabbing his hand and caressing it with her thumb. "I know you want the best for me now and back then too,but you were, you are what's best for me Dick. I know it" 

Dick realized he was crying when he wiped the tears with her fingers. He wasn't really the type to cry, but he felt so vulnerable under her gaze. 

"I miss you, so much. And all those days without you were my reminder that there was something wrong" he said pulling her closer to his body so she could rest her head in his chest. 

They stood there embracing each other, reminiscing about when they were in the exact same position but in a different situation, a much happier one.

"I love you Y/n. I have loved you ever since you set a foot in the tower. From the first time I have loved you and it scares the shit out of me how much you mean to me. I know I was unfair to leave you without explaining the reason, but I just couldn't keep lying to myself, so I needed to let you go, because alone was safer than with you. I needed to keep you away from me so I could keep you safe, and i know it's a bullshit reasoning but I have never loved anyone as much I love you. But I promise I'll be better if you take me again. I'm forever yours, whether you have me or not"

Y/n didn't answer instead she just hugged him. She was crying too. When she pulled away to dry her puffy eyes she smiled at the brown haired boy in front of her.

 "I love you too Dick, so much" she bit her lip "i- i also told Brad that we would have never worked out" she said laughing a little "it was unfair for him to keep leading him on when I knew it was not going to work, so I won't be seeing him again."

"I'm sorry It didn't work" he said with honesty.

"No, you're not" she laughed a little louder this time making him laugh too.

"You're right" he looked down biting his lip not wanting to ruin the moment.

"So...do you think we could try again?"

Y/n smiled sweetly at the boy and brought a hand up to caress his face, dick leaned into her touch.

"I think we can,yes. But I'm gonna need some time,okay?" 

"As much as you need" he said quickly. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Good, cause neither am I"

[stardust-and-blades]

Hi love! I was wondering if you took emergency requests? I know you mostly do Klance, and I love them! But, a week ago I was verbally sexually harassed by my friend. It made me self conscious about my sexuality. (I'm a lesbian btw) and last night I had a nightmare that my friend...r**ed me. Do you think I can have Keith and Lance comforting the reader after waking up from this nightmare. Maybe Keith reminding her that there's nothing wrong with being gay? If you can't I understand. Thank you sm!

Hello there! First, I wanna say how sorry I am you had such a horrid nightmare and dealt with being harassed. That is not okay from anyone, even if they are your friend. I hope they leave you alone. I am a bisexual woman and though I have not experienced your exact situation, I have dealt with judgement from family. It isn’t fun and can do a lot of damage.

Secondly, I do not normally take reader requests. Personally I am not a fan of second-person. Like you have seen, I write mostly fanfiction from a third person point of view, and occasionally first person. I do not consider myself skilled in said POV, it is hard to convey, a bit confusing, and not my cup of tea. HOWEVER, I will try my best with what I can come up with!

Do be lenient with me, this may be a disaster >_< But if it’ll help, I’ll lend my hand to you.

Remember, you are not alone and there is nothing wrong with you. Love is love. 

Now, *cracks knuckles and bREAKS NECK* Lets try this out

-----------------

When you wake up, you’re in a cold sweat. The air around you is stifling. The blankets heavy, and for a moment you wonder if your bed is actually a coffin, ready to bury you away and suck the life from your bones until all that remains is a shell of a human.

You wipe your brow, slick with the remnants of the nightmare still lingering, a vivid, broken record player repeating the same horrible fear your so-called friend instilled in you.If you could reach in your head and pull out memories, you’d do it in a flash, removing the filthy, disgusting, wretched thing daring to plague your thoughts. It was real. Far too real. Yes you have been stressing about the incident for awhile, but you didn’t think it would be bad enough to enter what one would usually call a solace. A safe place among a reality ruled by chaos.

You switch on the light by your bedside, driving the shadows licking at your feet back to where they came from. You move out of the covers, feeling suffocated, and sit there, hearing nothing but the hum of the lamp and your erratic heartbeat.

You have closed your eyes, trying to think of something else. Something happy and comforting, but you just can’t get rid of this sense of...wrongness. The feeling of being and outlier and wondering if the nightmare lead to a truth.

You are so into your head that it takes you a couple minutes to realize you aren’t alone.

A red and blue hue glimmers against your eyelids. It is not harsh like the notifications of your phone, nor bright enough to make you assume your overhead lights were switched on. You peak through your dark eyelashes, sleep lingering at the corner of your eyes and a curiosity pushing aside the demons for a bit.

When you look, two very familiar boys stood before you. One with dark hair curving at the nape of his neck and eyes resembling the cluster of stars amidst a dusk night. The other with a darker skin color, tall and lanky, and the irises mirroring the seas of the beautiful and unknown. They smile, posing no threat or ill-intention. You do a double take, seeing if they would disappear the moment you blink, their bodies translucent. But they remain, the taller boy’s smile broadening ever slightly.

“You’re--”

“Lance,” he winks. “And this fireball is Keith. We heard your distress.”

“My...distress,” you say carefully. “This--this isn’t real. You guys are fictional. I must be dreaming still.”

“No, no dream.” Lance shakes his head, pointing to the window. “We are from the stars. I was going to come alone, but Keith over here is a sad pup whenever I leave.”

Keith rolls his eyes, nudging him with his elbow. “You know why I’m here, jackass.”

“Because you love me?”

“Literally not the point.”

“So you DO love me.” Lance’s eyes were practically sparkling.

Keith rubs his eyes, sighing. “I question my taste in men.”

Lance juts out his bottom lip, ocean blues big and watery. “How rude! And after I gave you a cute purple lion at the faire.”

You couldn’t help it, you giggle. It is funny to see the interaction take place, your focus less on your nightmare and more at the boys bickering, though with love placed in their hearts. It was nice, seeing something so natural. Sweet, even. It makes you feel less abnormal, though the slithering thing in your gut turned to remind you of why you are awake in the early hours of morning.

You cringe from the reminder, the boys noticing and quiet their conversation. They ask what is wrong, and you tell them as best you could without breaking into tears, though it proves challenging.By the time you’re finished, they are sitting by you, attentive and sympathetic, Lance offering his hand for you to take and Keith telling you you do not have to go into details. That is the great thing. They listen. Not once do they interrupt, shame you, or display signs of disappointment. They care not of why they were called, but genuinely concerned, the pain all too familiar.

You spill everything out. Even your insecurities. How you love girls rather than boys, your worry if the friend was right, whether there is something wrong with you or not. If you are someone in need of fixing; in need of divine intervention like so many have preached on television and on the streets. If you should force yourself to like boys rather than girls, and if you are deserving of love if you go against the hetero-normative standard friends and family kept badgering for.

They listen. But more importantly, they care.

“It’s scary,” Keith starts. “Not knowing if you belong. Being different. There is this whole expectation of you built up the moment you’re born, and if you don’t fulfill those expectations, it’s a gamble to be you. You don’t want to lose people, because you love the idea of being accepted. But you hate denying who you are, because it’s like slowly dying.”

“You love being loved. it’s a lot easier, but the closet you shoved yourself into becomes cramped.” Lance adds softly.

“I’m not you, and you are not me.” Keith says, looking to the sky. “We are very different. But if there is one thing I learned in my short life, being loved for all of you is the best feeling in the world. Being who you are, being what is right in your heart, it’s the wings you need to fly.”

He moves his gaze to you, and gives a warm smile. “Being gay--being you--is okay. There is nothing wrong with loving girls. You deserve to find love, even if it’s in a girl. Which would you rather be, feigning a marriage to a man and be miserable, or kicking the big man in the balls and smooching the hell out of the girl next door?”

“Keith, a true man of wisdom and words.” Lance jokes, earning him a flip of the bird. Lance smirks, it melting into understanding and kindness as he turns to you. “He is right, though. Honestly, that friend of yours can take a hike. You don’t need that negativity in your life. You deserve way better. And I mean five star better, not the bare minimum. Do not settle for less, go on and kiss the girl of your dreams. If I were to have remained closeted, I sure wouldn’t have been able to be with that man over there.” 

He points to Keith, the dark haired boy blushing. Lance then grabs some tissues nearby and wipes away your tears. Keith brings you water, and they remain by your side until you felt comfortable and sleepy enough to curl back into the covers. The boys tuck you into bed, and you are hit with a wave of melancholy, for you know they are about to leave.

‘Don’t look so sad. Chin up, buttercup.” Lance rustles your hair. “We aren’t leaving forever. We will be with you every step of the way. When the hours are late and all seems frightening, just know we are beside you. You may not be able to see us, but we are there.”

Lance grabs Keith’s hand, Keith squeezing back and not letting go. “you’re not as alone as you think you are.” Keith says. “Your found family is out there, excited for you to enter their lives. Hold onto that hope.”

“And no one is going to hurt you.” Lance continues. “Guard yourself and stay away from that friend of yours, if you can call them that. You are not a toy. You are a human being, and you should be treated like one.”

“Call on us if you need anything.” Says Keith. “We will be there.”

And so they were until you closed your eyes, filled with nothing but sweet dreams and a sense of a weight being lifted from your chest.

---------------

I really hope this helped a little bit, dear reader. If you feel in danger, please contact someone you trust or report it. The behavior of your friend is not acceptable and should not be tolerated. I’d deck them in the face if I could 

You are loved. You are strong. You are a badass.

Sincerely, Shania

[spectralarchers]

Christine! Writing help question here, if that's okay with you: I saw your reblog on Crowley's blubber/stutter at points throughout GO series and wanted to ask how to make dialogue realistic? Like irl we say uh and backtrack and stuff a lot but I'm wondering how to pull it off well... and kind of on a tangent, I struggle with finding a balance between dialogue and action (too much dialogue in my case). Any tips?

Hi, Ver!

Sorry it took me so long to reply to your ask, I wasn’t around on my laptop much and I wanted to give you a proper response! The post @verdelet​ is refering to is this one, which is a compilation of all the times Crowley in Good Omens just makes noises instead of saying stuff, where I used the following tags:

#HONESTLY THOUGH #THIS IS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF HOW DIALOGUE WORKS THOUGH! #SOMETIMES WHEN I READ A FIC AND THE AUTHOR INCLUDES THESE SOUNDS IN THEIR DIALOGUE I GET ALL HAPPY! #BECAUSE PEOPLE MAKE THOSE SOUNDS WHEN THEY TALK! #AND LIKE!!! YES!!! #EXCELLENT ACTING CHOICES!!!!

I don’t think I have any specific tips, but let me try. 

There’s one scene I always, always, always think about when I think about my dialogue and writing it, and it’s this one from Ocean’s 11:

Which in the script of the movie looked like this:

DANNY (V.O.) And Saul makes ten. 

48 INT. BAR - NIGHT 

48Danny and Rusty look weary from all this recruitment. Anearby TV with the sound off plays a promo for anupcoming Tyson fight. 

DANNYTen should do it, don't you think? 

(as Rusty shrugs)You think we need one more? 

(as Rusty shrugs)You think we need one more. 

(as Rusty shrugs)Okay. We'll get one more.

It’s super simple, but it works so well, because it feels genuine - the whole Ocean’s franchise is really good with its dialogue (a lot of it was scripted, but a lot of it was unscripted too). This was just for inspiration.

But, like, when I write dialogue - especially in action scenes - I try to let it flow naturally, as much as possible - if that means I have to cut up the description of a car flipping over in order to get the swear word in, I’ll do that:

He’d miscalculated the stickiness of the road - or rather, lack thereof. The moment he felt the car skid off the ice, his heart took an unexpected leap into his throat. 

“Fuck!” 

He immediately gripped the wheel tighter and stopped pressing the brakes in the hope of steering the car back on track. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” he muttered under his breath as he tried to figure out how long he had before they were done for good.

You can also use the dash to cut up your dialogue: 

The road ahead seemed to be going into a tight turn, though, and in spite of his efforts he may not be able to get the car to stop before they hit the bedrock.

And so, the only thing that came out of his lips as he felt the car skid onto the patch of black ice was “Jesu- fu- hold on!”

“Hold on to what?” she yelled from the passenger’s seat, her fingers gripping the safety belt. 

Turning the wheel completely to the other side, in the hopes of forcing it onto the side, he clenched his teeth. 

It’s like a natural cut up of the word, sometimes people get interrupted in what they’re saying, and it’s totally fine to do it in the dialogue as well. I usually keep in mind that the words needs to get cut off in a place that’s logical - for example, if you’re going to cut off “fuck”, better either cut if off at “f-” or at “fu-” because “fuc-” just doesn’t make a lot of sense, if that makes sense?

I also quite like having my characters repeat things, or look for their words when they’re mumbling, so I consciously try and get them to say things either twice or mumble, like I would in real life. It’s like letting the dialogue tell the story, rather than try and say that they’re mumbling or looking for their words: 

Finally, as the car skid to a halt, she hit him in the shoulder. “You! You absolute- you absolute idiot!” she shrieked as him, as she tried hitting him again, but this time, he caught her wrist.

“I’m sorry- hey, stop- I’m sorry, alright?! I didn’t- I didn’t think the road was going to be frozen tonight!”

“You should have known!”

He made a sound, sharply inhaling. “Huh?! I’m sorry I didn’t! Because I don’t control the weather, okay? And can you please stop trying to hit me?!”

He caught her other hand this time and immobilized her in her seat. 

“Uhhh, yeah, pfff.” She paused for a couple of seconds, before resuming: “You’re always, always, always going on about how well you know these- these- these stupid roads!”

One of my favorite parts of dialogue I’ve written is in chapter 7 of Nothing Burns Like the Cold, when Clint is explaining to Steve why the American military is in Greenland, and he’s explaning the Monroe Doctrine and the whole World War II shebang up in the North Pole, because I feel like I made Clint’s long, long, long monologue break up into more understandable pieces of dialogue. I’ve highlighed the ‘dialogue things’ I did in bold in order to make the monologue feel more natural: 

“Well, I’m not sure if you know this, but the Danish Ambassador to the United States during World War Two decided he wasn’t going to take orders from occupied Denmark, and so whenever he spoke to American politicians or diplomats, he would do it on behalf of the ‘free’ Denmark. He thought that because the King and Government were being held prisoner, none of their orders mattered, and apparently we liked that a lot. Especially because of the Monroe Doctrine, I think- I- I think that was it. Because we got afraid that Nazi Germany would establish bases in Greenland, so when this guy, when this uh- this- Kauffman? Yeah, that was his name, it was a big deal when Kauffman came into the picture and said that he was giving the United States authorization to defend Danish colonies on Greenland from the Germans. He was sentenced for treason by everybody back home in Copenhagen, but it’s basically because of his agreement that we’re still in Greenland. He never put an end date on the agreement, I think they called it something like the ‘agreement relating to the defense of Greenland’ but I’m not sure on the exact phrasing. It just states that the American personnel can stay on site until- until- uh, ‘for as long as there is an agreement’?”

Clint rubs a pearl of sweat off his temple, as he takes a breath.

“The US Coast Guard and War Department established some weather and radio stations, and it didn’t really matter after a while, once the war ended. But, a couple of years after the German abdication, stuff happened - NATO, and other agreements, Denmark ratifying the agreement and everything. It made Denmark and the US closer allies. In 1951 though, the Danish and American nations forced native Kalaalit people out of their homes in Thule, because the establishment of the airbase was of “more importance” than them living there, where they’d been living for centuries.” Clint pauses, as he looks over at Steve.

“It was bad, man. Governments said it was on voluntary basis, but it wasn’t. Kind of like when we put the Native peoples of the Americas in camps and called it a good thing,” Clint spits, as he clenches his hands. “After all of that, Greenland became a key point in the Cold War. I mean they set up… They set up 14 bases in Greenland, Bluie West, and Bluie East. And then, when Operation Chrome Dome sailed around, they used Thule as one of the bases where they could re-fuel and load up the B-52s that would fly around 24/7. That operation ended in 1968 when one of the planes crashed.”

He pauses.

“In Greenland. On the - the indlandsis? The ice sheet? Right out of Baffin Bay, they think. They were carrying four hydrogen bombs aboard. Thankfully, there wasn’t a big nuclear explosion because the safeties prevented it, but the explosion caused the sheet to melt and a huge area to become contaminated with radioactive material. It also sank to the bottom of the ocean.”

Clint rubs his face and spits to the side.

“The clean-up, they called it Crested Ice, I think. I mean the plane crashed and burned, and there was a patch of blackened ice which was just- just huge, man. I’ve seen the aerial picture that was taken then, and it was terrible. Some documents which were released from the clean up revealed that plutonium contamination reached extremely high levels, and there was… It was bad, Steve. The workers who helped clean up were poisoned, and they still haven’t received compensation for their work.”

Sighing, Clint finally says the truth that he doesn’t want to tell Steve: “Part of the entire Chrome Dome operation and the Thule Air Base was to patrol the Arctic border to the USSR and to find you, Steve. ” Clint takes a deep breath, as he sees Steve’s head drop next to him.

And, the whole above quote, which is practically 600 words of Clint monologuing, all the while I was writing it, I was sometimes stopping up and reading it out loud to see where would someone pause, where would someone search for their words, where would they be thinking about another word?

I remember when I wrote it, it was difficult because there was a lot of information I had to write correctly (the whole Kauffman and Monroe Doctrine is historically accurate, as is the displacement of the Kalaalit peoples) but also make it seem like it was someone trying to recall something they’d learned a long time ago all the while explaining it to someone who had never heard of it before.

It’s the same thing when your character doesn’t know the thing and motions for it instead. If we continue in the car crash example I was writing earlier, it’d give something like this:

“You told me the bend would be like- like this,” she says, as she moves her fingers in an S-shaped formation, and he shakes his head.

“Nah, it’s more-” he moves her hands closer together, “-like this.”

It’s breaking up the lines and introducing the actions you need to convey where your words can’t do it for you - in the above example with Clint, when he’s looking for his words, I like to think that the reader can imagine him either moving his hands or looking thoughtful because he’s repeating himself, or he’s mumbling, or talking to himself, and therefore, I don’t have to tell the reader that he’s mumbling, because he’s doing it himself? (Does any of this even make sense???)

And, FINALLY, to answer your last question, any tips on finding a balance between action and dialogue would be writing the thing, and then leaving it be for a couple of hours and coming back to it, to read it with a pair of fresh eyes.

If the action scene slows down too much because of the dialogue, you don’t have to interrupt it with actual dialogue, but you can just write that they’re “exchanging swear words” or “yelling whenever their body takes a hit” instead of wanting to force the swear words into the narrative text, if that makes sense?

Otherwise, I don’t have any tips, other than reading your work again if you feel like you were struggling with it. Eventually, if you have someone who is willing to help you out, get a beta and ask them to look out for your pacing. 

@kate-katiehawkeye helped me SO MUCH with Swallow Your Soul, like, the only reason that story makes a bit of sense if thanks to her amazing eyes. 

I hope that this large and long pile of blubber managed to help you out a little bit? I am not the best at giving advice because I feel like half the stuff I’m doing is a total improvisation thing, so... I hope this helped! :D

[floraone]

OMG 11 HOURS! You are the queen of dialogue. Seriously! Do you have a few tips about how you write dialogue? Your dialogue flows so freely! It's like I'm sitting there overhearing a conversation that happened IRL.

I am so sorry, anon. This has been weeks sitting in my inbox. But I was SO delighted when I got this. Like, so flattered, and so humbled. In a way, it still feels baffling to me that people would compliment my writing in such a way. Thrilling, exhilarating, uplifting… but baffling.

And I still have a hard time giving out “tips”. That’s why this is coming so late. Everyone’s writing style is so different, and that’s a beautiful thing, and really you should just do you. I mean… how many different versions of writing tips are out there, telling me to never ever use italics, or adverbs, and I tend to ignore them with a passion and conviction lol? So, just like that, the moment I’m starting to give out advice on how to write dialogue… please know that it’s not written in stone. There is no formular. And there are many different ways to do it. So, my number one tip would be this:

Find your own way. Find what feels right. Meaning… write it down, give it a few days until you don’t remember the exact wording anymore, aren’t in the scene anymore… and check if this seems like a realistic scene to you?

But, you asked for tips, so here is what I do when I go about writing dialogue. Not as a tip, but as a personal case study, maybe, to your comparison.

For me, the most important thing in dialogue, when writing and reading it, is not the dialogue itself. It’s what isn’t said. The nonverbal exchange - the lingering looks, the hitch in your voice, the trembling fingers, the emotions on the tip of your tongue but locked in your throat, the thrum of energy in the air, twitching fingers, … the how. not the what.

Because dialogue is SO much more about what isn’t being said.

Like, take this very very basic exchange:

Hey!Hi.How are you doing?

And now put it into context. Fill it with worlds of internal gestures, thoughts and emotions:

It felt like a thick, heavy and dense fog that seperated her from everything. People. Emotion. Reaction. And yet there was a tunnel in her bubble, where her eyes strayed back to the casket behind her.

She kept expecting him to sit up. Midnight blue eyes to snap open and shoot her that smile, that quirked up eyebrow, that roll of his eyes, because she thought this was real. That everyone would finally, finally turn around and tell her it was all an awful, sick joke.

He couldn’t be gone. How could… How..

“Hey!”

She startled. Someone was standing right in front of her. Had seemed to have been trying to get through to her for a while. She blinked, dragged too slow eyes up to concerned ones. She didn’t even register who it was talking to her. The fog was too thick, she wasn’t really here.

She didn’t know if she knew to form words anymore. Or tears. Or smiles. But her mouth opened without her will or control.

“Hi,” she said, robotic in a way, eyes unfocued.

Eyes turned even sadder. Pity. It almost made her angry.

“How are you doing?” they asked.

Or, y’know, the absolute same words, but different context:

She ran as fast as she could. Always the same. When in the world would she learn to get out of her home on time so this wouldn’t be the case.

So she sprinted, coat flapping behind her, through the ticket gates and down the escalator. Calling high-pitched excuses to anyone she barely dodged, and pushed through the doors of her subway train right as they closed, sweaty and heaving, sighing in relief.

“Hey!” someone in front of her said, and she looked up, startled.

Oh god.

“Hi,” she whispered, shocked.

His eyes were the same deep blue, the smirk the same she rememvered, going straight to her guts and lower, if she admitted. And she was suddenly painfully aware of the messy windswept state of her hair, the sweat pooling at her brow and neck from her morning marathon.

What was he doing here? Wasn’t he supposed to be, like, half a world a way?

“How are you doing?” he asked with an amused smile. He’d come closer. Pushed toward her by the morning crowd and for once she didn’t mind rush hour anymore, yet she seemed to have forgotten how to word.

But the thing is… that’s me. My writing tends to be very emotive, because I’m very emotive. What a person feels is much more important to me than what they say. I read the way their hands clench first, the content of their speech second. So this is something that feels very natural for me to do, but not neccessarily to you. It might not even be something you like.

So, I’ll try to talk of something else, that is maybe, maaaaybe, a little more universal. And it’s the one thing where the written word works differently than the spoken word, in my opinion. And it’s this:

Shortening. What needs to be explained, and what doesn’t. Because we read the words - and thus can re-read them - written words don’t need to be as explanatory as spoken ones. At least for me, written dialogue should always be shorter, more clipped than what you would actually say. Because here you can - and should - add glimpses of what’s going on inside. Fill it up with thoughts and internal musings. In fact, to me, if you make it longer, as long as you would say it in real life, it feels unnatural. So, this would be the difference between writing a speech and writing dialogue. In fact, I tend to use this for affect! If your character starts saying something, breaks off, thinks of the rest and what he was actually meaning to say, but couldn’t put it into words… and THEN your other character reacts anyway, knows… it’s a very simple way to create intimacy that I am guilty of using very often.

If you would tell your friend of your day, you would start from the beginning, paint a picture. You would elaborate and elaborate. In written dialogue, you don’t have to do that. Chances are, we were there with you, because what happened we already read in the previous scenes. (And if we were: then it’s repetitive, and can become boring for the reader to read of something they already know in much more detail!) And even if we weren’t, a clenched brow and internal recap of what happened, and then you try to explain this in a single, stuttered, weird sentence, is much, much more effective than going… and then, and then, and also…

Of course, there are also exceptions to that rule, like there are to all the rules. Say, you are portraying a character whose characteristics is to go into extreme detail with everything they say - then it would be entirely hindering your characterisation to shorten their lines. Or, say, you are letting your character tell another about something that happend chapters and chapters ago, then a little repetition is a good reminder to bring your reader back up to speed. But even then, for me personally, a little internal ‘Ahhh THAT’s what they mean, right, back when…’ of your POV character (if you use one of those, anyway) while the other keeps on talking, works much better, feels much more realistic, than your characters spelling everything out for the other.

Because that’s the beauty of written dialogue. You also get to be in their heads, you don’t have to rely on just their words. But it’s, of course, also a challenge. Because we don’t see them, you have to bring every twitch of their eye, every tremble in their hands on paper to give the same effect of the speech that you imagine while you write it. Spoken words carry emotion - written words need a leg up to convey it exactly in the way you intend it to.

So there. My two cents. Please take them with a huge pinch of salt - and in the end, do what works for yourself. Even if it’s completely different from my own approach!

[ftlom3963-blog]

Thoughts on confessions:

CONFESSIONS

Now that you have a crush, if all goes well and you really do have feelings for him/her and you want to confess, how is it done? While some of you may have this question, I'm sorry to tell you that there's no exact "how-to" when it comes to confessing to your crush.

In fact, there is no exact step-by-step guide to confess to your crush because everyone will have their own way of telling their crush their feelings.

While there is no "how-to", there is a "what-to-do" for those of you who want to confess to your crush. Everyone will have their own way, as I said, and there's no right or wrong way to confess. As long as you can get your feelings told to your crush, your confession is pretty much a success!

In this stage of confessing to your crush, it is definitely nerve-wrecking as you will not know what to expect for a reaction, just like when you have a crush on someone. Confessing is pretty much the next-level from having a crush. Here are some what-to-dos when you are preparing or have plans to confess to your crush:

1. Be brave enough to have a conversation with your crush

While that's the most obvious thing to do, some of us may not be that brave to take that step to initiate a conversation with you have feelings for. I mean, that person is like, your lover, not just any person! There will be nervousness and anxiety to muster up a few words or sentences, but getting used to talking to your crush is quite important. Only after being comfortable talking to your crush then can you tell your crush how you feel.

2. Have a mental rehearsal of what you want to tell your crush

Anything can happen when you are wanting to confess to your crush. A slip-up, a wrong word, just anything. Before straight-up confessing to your crush, do take some time to plan what you want to say to your crush. It is not as simple as just saying "I like you" or "I have feelings for you". Or is it?

3. Be clear in how you feel about your crush

While telling your crush you like them, try not to stutter because that will make yourself look like a clown. Yes it is nerve-wrecking, but conveying your feelings properly might just give you a better chance of getting together with your crush.

Above knowing all these, it is most important that you find the best time to reveal your feelings to your crush. There is no exact timing, you will know when. The day will come when you are courageous and finally ready to tell your crush your feelings. Just make sure that you say everything that you want to your crush in the way you want to say it. However, whether or not your crush accepts or reject your feelings is a different outcome.

You have no control over how someone will feel about you. Not everyone will feel the same way as you feel about them. It is okay to be rejected by your crush because who knows if there is someone that will suit you more/better?

I have always believed in this and this will be my philosophy in relationships: for each of us, there is that someone who is destined for our lives. So please, do not feel dejected if you are rejected by your crush. Just know that there will be someone who will be your life partner and will be your significant other in your relationship.

Rejections do not define who you are. Being rejected doesn't necessarily mean it's the end of your love life. Be open to others and not fixate on a person. Move on if your confession does not work out the way it's meant to. Well, there's not much more to add but all the best and good luck. Now, go and confess to your crush (when you are ready to)!