#(slams my gavel) MORE CONFESSIONS I DEMAND MORE CONFESSIONS

[bf5-confessions]

[dearholly]

Dear Me,

I know why you’re here and I’m not mad. I’m not disappointed. Read this and then go rest. And please be gentle on yourself. 

We met at Macy's and immediately hit it off. I think it was a dark sense of humor and a fluency in sarcasm that first bonded us. She was amused and seemingly rapt by everything I had to say. When I eventually left Macy's for a work-at-home job listening to sales calls, I brought her with me. And because he was unemployed, her ex-boyfriend/roommate came with us as well.

They had dated in high school but had long since broken up although hey were still living together in her parent's house after his parents moved to Hawaii without him. I got to know him more when we started at our new positions. As a telecommuting job, here were a lot of opportunities for us to bond over instant messenger. He had a raw, vulnerable quality that drew me to him and I enjoyed how open and free I could be with him. He didn't seem to mind the darker parts of my humor and we bonded over a love of cars and photography.

The first tear in the fabric of everything is, I think, when I admitted to to my husband that I thought I had feelings for Her. He sexualized this confession and internalized it as permission for himself to be attracted to her, which in short turn he started to act on. In some ways, I knew that would happen but but I was terrified of my feelings. I didn't know exactly what I wanted, just that I wanted something else. Something more than what I had. On some level, I believe that I wanted her. But I let my fear and submissiveness get the better of me and chose to put my needs aside for what my husband wanted, which at the time seemed more manageable for me than having to deal with my own inner turmoil.

Throughout their entire flirtation in the beginning, she never came to me to tell me what was going on, or to question it. To this day, I don't even know if she asked my husband whether or not I knew. It might be the years that have since passed shading my opinions in this matter, but I don't believe she ever did ask him. I eventually did come to her to tell her what was going on, but I don't believe that I ever really trusted her again after that, despite our friendship continuing for another five years.

Years later, when I would say all of this out loud to a therapist, I would realize what a hard time I have accepting and advocating for my own feelings. Looking back now, I can tell you I was deeply hurt and extremely angry.

Which is probably what lead me to sleep with Him, her ex-boyfriend slash roommate, on the same night she first slept with my husband. And I did not afford her the same foreknowledge that I had.

But it wasn't all vindication. He and I had been getting very close. We worked together on a wedding I shot in Malibu. I'll never forget when we had some free time in between getting shots and we drove down to the beachier part of the beach to look for some locations to shoot the couple later. It was raining and the beach was empty, so he told me to take the car onto the sand, assuring me that it'd be fine. He was something of an expert on cars, after all. The front tires almost immediately sunk into the sand and we got stuck. As panic mounted in both of us, a friendly gentleman in a Nissan Xterra came by and offered assistance. With some pushing and revving, the car was unstuck. After our Samaritan drove off, He turned to me to apologize and wrapped his arms around me. There's something about being hugged by a person who is much taller than you. In that moment, I fell in love with him. His easy free affection was all it took.

And she had no clue about any of it because I did not do the courtesy of cluing her in. This is what is so dangerous about people who are not even aware of the emotions they're having.

Also, I knew that she would cock block. So the night that she came to my house to fuck my husband, I set up a little date with her ex boyfriend. I took him to a local bar, and explained what was happening with Her and my husband. And then I told him, "But I am here with you." Couldn't keep our hands off each other after that.

I didn't tell her until after the fact and I am positive that there was never a moment after that that she fully trusted me either. We cursed ourselves from the very beginning. And then made things truly awkward by attempting to have a four-way.

They say ignorance is bliss, but denial is true euphoria. And that is where we lived for the next 6 years. We changed our state abbreviation from CA to WA, but we lived in the same place, ignoring red flag after red flag. The chemistry was just bad. But we plundered ahead, all four of us. And when three of us lost our telecommuting jobs, it was Him that found us work again.

I hated the idea from the very beginning (red flag) but said nothing. I resented that he got her a job at the same place he'd gotten me a job and that she'd be starting the day after me, leaving me no time at all to have this one thing for myself. I knew even then that working and living with her would turn out to be a problem. And it did; when something bad happened at work, there was no escape from it at home. When something bad happened at home, there was no escape from it at work. Even though we were on opposite ends of the house, there was just no escaping it. When she was upset, there was a toxic cloud that hung over the whole house. It seeped into everything and was unescapable. It left no room for anyone else to take up any emotional space.

After a while, I stopped getting a period. But because I was living on Denial St, I ignored it for over a year. My doctors wholly admitted that they have no idea how this could have happened at such an early point in my life, but all of them speculated stress, both physical and mental. Prior to losing my period, I had lost a great deal of weight in a small time by over-exercising and under-eating. I was starving myself and then working myself to the point of exhaustion, and if this were the cause of my early menopause, I would not be surprised to find that out.

However, there was no space in my home to have any feelings about this. Because I was of a mind to never have children anyway, it was easy for most people to minimize how deeply it was affecting me, and ignore the active signs that it was doing so. And I never talked about. The feelings were too confusing, too mixed up, to talk about. I didn't understand them myself and there was no room to figure them out there.

A couple months after I got my menopause diagnosis, I started having regular panic attacks. She is the one who suggested I speak to a therapist. She's the one who recommended my first one, actually. And I am still glad that she did. My life really started to turn around at that point. I started in May of that year and by the end of the summer, I had finalized my divorce and moved into my own apartment. And later that year, I started anti depressants.

It is my belief that all of the improvements and growth in my life are what lead she and I to have our initial falling out that next Spring. Through therapy, and medication, and meditation, and all the other ways in which I was working on improving myself, I did eventually grow strong. And so did my boundaries. I started saying "No." more and "Sorry" less. And I stopped accepting unnecessary bullshit that was launched in my direction.

Especially when it is in a shared space in which professionalism is mandatory. After a five month hiatus from the office in which she recovered from an exploding kidney, I invited her to help me train a batch of new hires. During which, at some point, I explained something to one of them which was news to her. She started raising her voice in frustration, demanding to know why she was never told anything, and in general being extremely negative. To be clear, this type of behavior was just something she did. And it always bothered me - something that should be of little to no consequence to her personally, blown up in decibels and f-bombs. Like her brother dating someone she didn't approve of. Or her roommate's cousin marrying someone she didn't approve of. Or her cousin dating someone she didn't approve of. Or her aunts doing or saying something she didn't approve of. I often thought about buying her a robe and gavel for how judgmental and salty she could be to the people she supposedly loved. But I digress....

I am a deeply private person. So in that moment in our office, I was completely mortified. Here are these strangers I am trying to set a good example for, and here she comes with her Debbie Downer bullshit. I shut the conversation down as fast as I could by leaving it immediately. But later I sent a text explaining why that was over the line and why I was upset. A day later, I received some half assed apology about how she felt she was being left behind at work, and that somehow justified the disrespect. Like it was acceptable behavior because she was in pain.

I didn't respond. For one, because I was knee deep (literally) in dog fur, trying to shave my Maltese mutt. And for another, I thought that what needed to be said had been said. Her response didn't change mine. And so the next day, I went to her apartment as I did every Monday to do my laundry. As I was putting the laundry into the washing machine, I heard her bedroom door open. Before I could even look up from my dirty jeans and towels, I hear "Oh... Hi." and I turn just in time to see a flash of red hair whipping behind a slamming door.

At that point, I start to have a panic attack, assuming the slammed door was for me and my face. But I breathe through it and decide its best left aone. She's still upset and I don't have the bandwidth to find out why. I'm done volunteering for whatever that is. At work, I try to be cordial. With Him, I try to maintain boundaries and I tell him nothing that happens between she and I.

A few days go by. One night, I go pick him up and we have dinner at a diner down the street from his place. He's visibly upset, and he's using that soft whispery tone that usually precedes a fucking nightmare. Over my country fried chicken, I ask him what's wrong. He asks why I am ignoring her. I tell him I am not. And that after having a door slammed at me, I'm giving whatever she is dealing with a wide berth. He convinces me to reach out to her to try and resolve the issue.  

So I try to do that. But I'm annoyed and I say entirely the wrong thing, from the very start. I tell her "Stop telling people I'm ignoring you." Rather than "I am not ignoring you, Friend. Rather trying to give you space to deal with whatever it is you're dealing with because I don't understand it"... which eventually I do say, but it's too late. My tone is too incendiary. I'm too angry now. And I no longer feel as if this is anything worth saving anymore. She feels the same way. So she tells me we can no longer be friends. I'm hurt that she said that, but more disappointed that she said it first, and I accept that this is the way things will be. I block her on every social media platform we have in common.

Things are instantly strained between He and I. I ask him repeatedly not to get involved because I will be the one accused of it. But he can't help himself from being upset because she's upset. They have no boundaries at all between them. I tell him I need a break from him. He accuses me of "dropping him" the same way I "dropped Her" And so we break up.

For about 2 months. And then one night, I happen to get a late bus out of Seattle and sit across from him. He was coming from work. And I was coming from a bar. Were it not for the tequila, I probably would never have moved next to him. We made very little conversation all the way to our bus stop. I don't remember what I said. Probably just that I missed him and that I wish things had been different. We started talking again after that. And things were better, for a time. Between he and I, anyways.

What happened then between she and I is what sealed our friendship to the annals of history forever...

One night, while late in bed, I get an email notification from tumblr telling me I had a new follower. And its Her. Through several name/address changes, on the one platform I did not think to block her from, there she was following me. Looking down on that message as it glowed up at me from under the covers, witnessing the little smirk in her user avatar, I started to shake. The blog I thought I had made for myself, similar to this one, where I had the space to ruminate and collect thoughts, had been violated and invaded. Like every other aspect of my life, by her.

I did not react well to this discovery. At first, I made several passive aggressive posts directed at her and then deleted each one. And then I went directly to her, asking her to stop as I didn't think it was appropriate for her to be following me. Her response was to laugh at me, and mock something I had said in one of the passive aggressive and deleted posts I made. I'm not ashamed to admit that my reaction was explosive. I hurled every shitty thing I could think of to say inside one sentence and then deleted the entire messaging system we were using to communicate (which at the time was Slack). Later, when I apologized for my terrible reaction, she doubled down on the insults and called me a hypocrite for expecting that there be boundaries between myself and the person who said they never wanted to speak to me again. And so a final decision was made that this was not worth saving. So I blew it up over two lengthy emails.

I don't even remember what I said. And I don't want to. I suspect my brain is protecting me like a heat shield protects a satellite that is being hurled back to earth. I do remember what she said, which is that I proved her therapists right and that I had always been a bad person. I remember this because my therapist had lead me to the same conclusion about herself. Funny how even in our friendship death, we still have things in common.

A day or two after she followed me on tumblr, I updated the configuration of my blog that said no one could access via the app that wasn’t one of my followers, essentially ensuring that whoever was going to visit my site was going to do so in broad daylight. And then I installed a counter that tracked IP addresses of visitors who came to my blog. For months, she continued to check on it. It was like she couldn’t help it. She was clearly sick. So to test the lengths to which she would go to find it, I changed the name once again and sent Him a link to a post. Lo and behold one week later, there is the entry from his phone visiting. And then a few days later another, closely followed by Her IP again. Tumblr would be the first of many spaces that she colonized and evicted me from. It's not a coincidence that I struggled to find a voice after that or that I have not been able to write with anything approaching ease in the last few years.

I didn't see her or talk to her for months. She had stopped coming into the office. I stopped hearing sirens in my head when I saw her name, so I unblocked her on social media. After all, we still share friends and having gotten what I wanted all along (space), my anger had evaporated. 

But according to my boss, she still used the fact that we no longer got along as an excuse to work from home. As if I had been the one shouting at her in the office, as if I had caused a hostile work place. It's no small coincidence, in my mind, that I was let go by our boss very shortly after she returned to the office regularly. I can't prove it, but I believe she contributed to it. And unfortunately, it wouldn't be the last time she actively set out to hurt me.

When I lost my job, I lost my insurance and therefore, access to my therapist. And I had to start rationing my anti-depressants. I fell into the deepest darkest depression of my life. And it did not help that this was all in the dead of winter, when the sun barely came out long enough for me to see it and run outside. Through the rest of December and January, I submitted dozens of applications and copies of my resume. Finally, at the end of January when I had had to start cutting each of my Lexapro's in half to get by, I got a call for an interview for a company in New York. They hired me almost immediately, and before I knew it I was being sent to New York to be trained. It was right around the same time that I found out the remaining members of the team I had hired at my previous job, Her and several others had been let go unexpectedly. I'd love to say that there was no part of me that received any amount of pleasure upon hearing that, but I'd be lying. I definitely gloated. It felt good to know that things were going wrong for them, for her, when things had just started to go right for me after they messed them up so poorly. In all of my self righteousness I opined to a mutual friend about how bleak Her household must be because I believed it probably was. It sucks to lose one's job and I would know all about that. That mutual friend, knowing that I had a relationship with Him at this time, mistook my opinion as though I had heard it was bleak in the household directly from Him. So the next time our mutual friend spoke with Her, our mutual friend voiced some concerns about the state of how things were going for the two of them. Her spoke to Him later, demanding to know why He is telling me in particular that things in their house are not fine. Which leads him to send a group chat message...

It's 7AM EST early February and I'm in the Best Western of Troy, New York reading my text messages. He has sent one to our entire friend group, demanding that if any of us are speaking about him to stop it immediately; leave him out of all conversation - She is upset that there has been any talk at all. I tell him that request is impossible as we're all friends who care about each other and I refuse to be isolated in any way from any of them. Meanwhile, sirens are going off in my head. I hear my mother's voice, warning me about domestic abusers who isolate their victims from their friends to perpetuate their abuse. I silence it. After all, I still live on the corner of Denial St and The-Dick- Is-Big Ave.

Eventually, a one-on-one conversation is started between He and I. He insinuates that it is the group chat itself that is the issue, because she is not allowed to be in it. I tell him I think it's valid that she is not in it as I am, and I want her to remain firmly out of my space. Which is a mutual feeling between the two of us, or so I thought. And anyway, I tell him, it's her that has me blocked on every social media platform we had in common.

It's at this point he calls me a liar. And it's at this point the story should have ended but I still have a severe lack of love for myself, no therapeutic support, am low on my anti depressants, and completely isolated in New York for the next two weeks.

He tells me he has her search for me on Facebook and Instagram and she finds nothing, which proves that it is I that have her blocked therefore I it is me doing the lying. Which, anyone who knows anything about social media will tell you, this is expected behavior if you have someone blocked. But he hardly ever engages with social media, let alone take the time to understand it, so this is lost on him.

I'm immediately triggered. I have to leave the office where I'm being trained for my new job and walk back to my hotel to catch my breath before I vomit up the coffee and cake that our sales manager brought as a welcome gift. The words "At this point, yeah I do think you're lying." keep swimming back up to me from a little grey bubble. I call him and scream into his voicemail. "...I do think you're lying to me," ... My hands practically vibrating, I take a screen recording of all of my blocked lists and send it to him. "...you're lying to me..." I black out for a moment, thoughts of my mothers fists raining down on me as I'm being called a liar in the backseat of her car. I sob into my hotel pillow. I feel broken.

But it’s the middle of the day, I’ve had this job for all of two days and I cannot be having a massive freak out this early on. I take one of my precious remaining Ativan and try to breathe. Eventually, I calm myself. In a sick twist, I end up apologizing to him for screaming and overreacting. I open myself up further and explain to him why being called a liar is a trigger for me. This was a pattern with us; The only way he ever had compassion for me when we argued (and sometimes when we weren't) was when I spelled out exactly what I was going through. I thought if I was honest about my feelings with him, he would treat me with more dignity. But as a matter of fact, it turned out when I was crying on his shoulder, he felt as if I was manipulating him. He told me that once when I called him, sad because someone I had a crush on had started dating someone else. I was never sure what I was supposedly manipulating him to do. Spend time with me? Show concern for me? But despite that, I take a huge risk, expose my jugular to him again and beg for him to understand where I am coming from. 

He apologizes. He comes over and we have a quiet talk. For a very short time, things go back to whatever normal is to us. We're communicating a little more and I think we're being more honest. But things aren't the same. We're still very vulnerable. I never knew if he sensed that or not. I'd like to believe that if he did, his behavior would have been different. But his behavior remained rough, and careless. 

A little over a month after I returned from New York, he had invited me to his house while she was away. The entire experience was unnerving. For one, the apartment felt cold and dark. It was not very inviting. For another, He was relegated to sleeping on a roll up mat on the floor while She had a bed and a closing door with a closet and a window. This really bothered me. I thought there would be more of a separation, or a at least a clear division of space. A boundary. I look desperately for boundaries, but there were none. Her makeup vanity was directly behind his work desk and above the space he used to sleep in. And there was no trace of me there at all. But of course there wouldn't be. She wouldn't allow it. And he never cared enough about me to change that in any sense. So I started to really see for the first time that our relationship was just sex for him. I couldn't see clearly that we even had a friendship anymore and this really bothered me.

I wanted to talk to him about it, and I asked him if we could. I'm not even sure what I wanted to say, but I just needed reassurance that he was still friends with me. That he still liked me. That he was, even though he was far away, still somewhat in my corner. I was feeling anxious, I was low on my medicine, with no therapist, working 12 hour days and still broke from being unemployed for months. I just wanted to talk and have him reassure me that at the very least, he was there for me and would be there for me. He agreed to that and we scheduled a time to talk, because at that point he was extremely busy with work and trying to balance everything, as was I. The afternoon we had worked out to talk comes and goes, and I don't hear from him. I message him and I express annoyance because we had plans, but he tells me that he had an outing with Her, and it went long. And then he expresses annoyance at me for being annoyed at him. He goes on the defensive. I completely unravel over a string of messages, which of course are poorly timed and one right after the other, which I know he hates. He engages his favorite tactic which is to leave the conversation entirely, tell me he's not speaking to me for a while, and then come back at his whim. He does this over a few days. He responds to each of my texts individually, escalating in each response until he's screaming at me in all caps and has worked himself back into the rage which makes him walk away.

I'm at the point where I'm looking at this pile of garbage relationship which has twice in the past two months shoved me into two of the worst, most ill-timed panic attacks I've ever had - and finally I hear my therapist's voice ring back to me as clear as a bell: He will never leave her, and he will never choose you. Everything that my denial had been holding at bay like a sweet little naïve raincloud crashed down all at once around me with the force of a tornado. It was the way there was never any compassion or kindness shown to me at the worst time of my life. It was the way he called me a liar and a manipulator when I was trying to include him in my deepest most personal feelings and experiences. It was the way he never noticed that I was blowing up my life with alcohol or that I was deeply depressed. It was the way he lied over and over again, telling me that he cared about me and then turning around to demonstrate why that wasn't actually true. It was the way I had to bend over backwards to accommodate his feelings, while there was never any room for mine.

And so, as anticlimactically as it began, our relationship finally ended. I don't even remember what the final blow was, or what I said in response. No doubt something shaky and angry and ugly. But I have never regretted it. For as ugly as I know it probably was, I do not regret it. My life, my health both mental and physical, has improved exponentially since that day in late April.

But if there is a hopeful epilogue to the story, it would pick up six months later when I had settled into my new place in the city, to be closer to work. I started to feel those pangs again. Those little flighty feathery feelings that can be so strong they echo across decades with such intensity that you can almost physically feel their presence inside your skin where they hibernate. It was the same feeling that made me sit down next to him on the bus all that time ago. I missed him. In spite of everything that happened, everything I learned, and went through, I did. But it wasn't until I started to feel as though I missed Her too that I knew I had to get back into therapy. A queer friend of mine who had been struggling through their own relationship issues, suggested a co-op place in Seattle they'd been using which was geared specifically to women and those who identify as such. Signing up with them was probably the best decision I'd end up making in my 30's. The therapist I was paired with was understanding, validating, and I never sensed once that she was bored with anything I had to say. She equipped me with the best tools to deal with my feelings, she taught that it's okay to love and protect myself through setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. And the best part about her is that she herself maintained extremely healthy boundaries. I never knew more about her than I needed to know. Yet I felt like I connected with her on a very deep level. And through talking to her, working with her, I was able to fully understand and appreciate what I had just been through, and how to exercise compassion for myself when I would find myself in situations where I would start reliving all of that trauma. Because of her, I found myself again. Or maybe I found myself for the first time. She helped me understand the feelings I'd been having for years but hadn't had the space or emotional support to explore. She helped me put a name to a feeling I’d had since childhood but never knew there was a word for. Not long after I started working with her, I came out as non-binary. Through our work, I found a deep well of love for myself that allows me to firmly (but with patience and love) define and protect my boundaries, and still have enough energy left over show interest, compassion and love for others in their journeys. And I stopped trying to avoid feeling like shit through drinking. Literally, everything became better a result of my therapist's influence on me.

But try as I might, there are some days in the year where my mind wanders back to the grey north where I tried to make a home. When I can almost hear the drizzle of rain in Occidental Park as I cried my eyes out there over something He said. In my mind's eye, I turn away, but the neighborhood is haunted with these types of traumas for me. Nowhere is safe, my mind panics, and I get turned around in the horrid memories; screaming at each other on 1st Avenue outside E Smith, sobbing so hard on 2nd that a stranger asked me if I was okay, countless arguments in the park that followed us to the bus stop and back to our home. Eventually, my mind grows desperate for answers, and it carries me back in time... all the way back to 2010 at Macy's when it began, and the loop starts again.

Which brings me to today. I've lost count of how many times we've been down this road. But I know grief is hard. And so is recovery. One of the ways in which I see to my recovery now is to write more. I don't usually publish what I write because it's just for me and I still have a lot of residual anxiety about posting anything personal online. Another reason is that my writing is so fluid that publishing it seems too final. Like... what if I change my mind about that way I've structured a sentence? What if I think of a better way to phrase that feeling? What if I change my mind entirely about the thing that I've written about? ...Why use a period if I could use a comma?

But I'm publishing this note anyway. For you, future Holly. Because you need this to be over. And because whenever we get into this rut, the only thing we seem to be able to do to stop ourselves from missing them and reminiscing about the good times is to walk ourselves through the trauma that they ended up causing. Which is effective in getting the sad feelings to stop, but you know is burning you alive on the inside. And so I'm writing this note to tell you (future me) that we don't have to do that anymore. You can set these thoughts and feelings down in language and writing, and be done. You can publish them, and move on. You can walk away. Put a period on the end of the sentence and close the book. 

But if you ever feel as though you need to mutilate yourself mentally by trying to list it all out again, so that you can poke it and dissect it and review it in triplicate... I will be here. Waiting to remind you that nothing you have ever done disqualifies you from being afforded compassion and kindness. Waiting to remind you that you deserve better friends, better love, than those that would afford you only scraps. Waiting to remind you that your anger is valid, along with your hurt and your sadness. And also waiting to remind you that this is temporary. These feelings are temporary. Give yourself the space today to feel what you are feeling. Let yourself be sad. Let yourself be angry. And tomorrow when you wake up, let it all go.

I love you. -H

[hotel-japanifornia]

The Reversal of Sisters - A 1-2 AU fic

Chapter 5: The Final Act

Summary: There was only one strategy they could think of to defeat him. 

(can also be found on ff.net and ao3)

Mia and Phoenix silently walked to the defense’s bench and waited for the trial to begin. Although they were nervous about today’s trial due to the events that transpired the day before, the two hoped that things would turn out for the best. Soon after, the judge walked up to his bench and pounded his gavel. This signaled the beginning of the trial and caused the courtroom fell silent as he spoke.

“The court is now in session for the trial of Ms. April May!” The judge declared.

“The prosecution is ready, Your Honor.” Edgeworth said calmly.

“The defense is ready, Your Honor.” Mia said.

“Mr. Edgeworth, please give us your opening statement.” The judge requested.

“Of course, Your Honor,” The prosecutor bowed courteously before continuing, “Yesterday, we discovered that there is one other possible suspect besides Ms. May. Since then, we have managed to locate the person that was staying with her and wish to call them up to the stand. By hearing their testimony, the prosecution wishes to clear up any doubts that Ms. May is the killer.” Edgeworth declared.

“Very well then, call your witness.” The judge demanded.

“The prosecution wishes to call one Mr. Redd White to the stand.” Edgeworth informed. Soon after Edgeworth made his statement, the double doors were opened by a couple of guards and Redd strode up to the witness stand. Once there, he sneered evilly at Mia who glared in response. 

“Witness, please state your full name to the court.” Edgeworth urged.

“You wish to know the full title of my personage?” Redd inquired.

“Er...your name?” Edgeworth asked once more with a quizzical expression on his face.

“Yes, that’s what I said! Do my locutions confuse?” Redd inquired.

“Witness...name!” Edgeworth begged, looking exasperated by the witness’ refusal to cooperate

Don’t those two look like quite the pair? Mia thought as she listened to their conversation.

“Fine, my name is Redd White but my friends call me “Blanco Nino”! I am the fabultastic CEO, or in your common terms, President of beautatious Bluecorp!” Redd introduced. 

“Witness, did you know the victim?” Edgeworth questioned.

“Nope. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Never seen nor heard of her before.” Redd replied.

“Did you happen to witness the moment of the murder from the Gatewater Hotel?” Edgeworth inquired.

“Oh yes! It was a most ghastlening sight indeed!” Redd reminisced, looking ‘horrified’.

Wait a minute, that doesn’t sound right! Mia thought.

  Hold it!

  “Your Honor, according to the Bellboy’s testimony, both the witness and the defendant were missing at the time of the murder.” Mia pointed out, slamming her hands on the desk.

“Tsk Tsk. Ms. Fey. At the time that the Bellboy came in, our witness here was in the bathroom.” Edgeworth explained.

“Indeed. Had he stridalked in a few seconds later, he would have seen me!” Redd remarked.

“If there are no further questions we would like to hear your testimony, Mr. White.” The judge requested.

“Oh, but of course!” Redd said.

  Witness Testimony ~ Witness Account

“Let’s see, it was about 8:20, I believe.

I was quietly perusifying...er, ‘reading’ some papers by the window.

Then I heard a bedlam from outside.

Surprised, I turned to look at the building across the way and saw a most horrificating sight!

Ms. May was struggling with a small girl with a topknot.

The girl tried to wrestle an object out of Ms. May’s hands, but alas!

Ms. May gained the upper hand and hit her once.

The girl staggered back towards the window before she was hit again and was struck down.”

  “Hmm, I see. Ms. Fey, you may commence your cross examination.” The judge allowed.

“Yes, Your Honor.” Mia replied. I better be careful with what points I press on this time. Any wrong moves and I could be in trouble. She mused with a disgruntled expression on her face. 

  Cross Examination ~ Witness Account

“Let’s see, it was about 8:20, I believe.

I was quietly perusifying...er, ‘reading’ some papers by the window.

Then I heard a bedlam from outside.

Surprised, I turned to look at the building across the way and saw a most horrificating sight.

Ms. May was struggling with a small girl with a topknot.

The girl tried to wrestle an object out of Ms. May’s hands, but alas!

Ms. May gained the upper hand, and hit her once

The girl staggered back towards the window before she was hit again and was struck down.”

  “The girl staggered back towards the window before she was hit again and was struck down.”

Objection!

  “Mr. White, according to the autopsy report, the victim died of a single blow.” Mia reported, holding a copy of the autopsy in her hands, “Yet, according to your testimony, you said she was struck twice!”

Redd’s mouth went agape at this news. He looked at the stand as if he was trying to find the words to respond to Miss Fey’s argument. Before he could reply however, Edgeworth spoke.

“Mr. White.” Edgeworth called. Redd looked up at him and Edgeworth gazed at him as if trying to remind Redd of something. He blinked for a moment before his eyes lit up as if he suddenly remembered something.

“Oh...yes! That’s right, I forgot to mention an importantiful detail about what I saw!” Redd recalled. He gazed at the judge hopefully, “Your Honorableness, may I amend my testification?”

The judge closed his eyes in deliberation for a moment before nodding, “Yes, I don't see why not.” He accepted.

“Thank you very much, Your Honorableness. I am in your deepest gratitudity!” Redd proclaimed, looking at the Judge gratefully

  Witness Testimony ~ The Struggle

“Ah, I remember clearly now!

The girl wasn’t struck twice.

She was pushed into something, quite forcefully too, I might add!

After she had been pushed, she staggered back towards the window

It was there that she was struck!”

  “Ah, I see. So she was pushed.” The judge remarked.

“It was dark, especially in that office. I couldn’t exactly see what happened with clearitudeness.” Redd explained.

“That does make a degree of sense. Ms. Fey, you may begin your cross-examination.” The judge said. 

If it was dark, how would you even know that there was a murder going on? Mia thought with an incredulous look on her face.

  Cross Examination ~ The Struggle

“Ah, I remember clearly now!

The girl wasn’t struck twice actually.

She was pushed into something, quite forcefully too, I might add.

After she had been pushed she staggered back towards the window

There, she was struck down.”

  “She was pushed into something, quite forcefully too, I might add.”

Hold it!

  “What was this ‘something’ that she was pushed into?” Mia questioned.

“It seemed to be a lamp of some sort. I thought I heard the sound of glass breaking during their struggle and immediately afterward, the room went pitch black and it became nearly impracticossible to see anything.” Redd specified.

Didn’t you just say that the office was completely dark before she was pushed? Mia thought.

“Ms. Fey, is what the victim bumped into when she was pushed relevant to the case at hand?” The judge asked.

“Yes, your Honor.” Mia replied.

“Very well then. Witness, please append your testimony.” The judge ordered.

“But of course, Your Honorableness!” Redd complied.

  Appended Testimony ~ The Struggle

“Ah, I remember clearly now!

The girl wasn’t struck twice actually.

She was pushed into a glass lamp which caused it to fall over and break.

After she had been pushed she staggered back towards the window

There, she was struck down.”

  “She was pushed into a glass lamp, causing it to fall over and break.”

Objection!

  “Excuse me, Mr. White. But I would find it hard to believe that you could see this glass ‘lamp’, let alone hear it crash.” Mia remarked.

“Oho, and whatever do you mean, Ms. Fey?” Redd questioned. Mia pulled out the floor plans for the crime scene and presented them.

“Look at this. As you can tell, the glass light stand is out of the range of vision that one would normally see if they were to look into the window.” She indicated the area where the glass light stand had fallen and pulled out the bag of glass shards, “Which brings me to my next point: look at these glass shards!”

“You can’t even tell that they come from the glass light stand!” Edgeworth remarked.

“Right, which begs the question: How would the witness possibly have known that there was a glass ‘lamp’ in the office and that it had fallen down?” Mia inquired. She gazed at Redd with a determined glint in her eyes.

“Witness, answer the question!” The judge demanded. Beads of sweat dripped from Redd’s brow and after a few moments he slammed his head on the stand then he quickly shot up and let out a loud scream.

“Order! Order! What is the meaning of this, witness?” The judge demanded.

“Urrgh...” Redd groaned. Edgeworth smiled cockily and his head turned to look at Redd.

“Witness, don’t you think it’s time to confess to your crime?” He asked. Redd gazed at him in horror.

“W-what do you mean?” Redd asked.

“Why, the crime of wiretapping of course.” Edgeworth revealed.

  Objection!

  “My client already confessed to the crime of wiretapping during the last trial. That matter has no relevance to the issue at hand!” Mia slammed her hands on the desk as she reminded the court

"Hmph” Edgeworth shrugged and shook his head, “Ms. Fey, need I remind you that your client kept that crime hidden from you, her own defense attorney. Can we really take her word for it?”

Grr. Mia thought. She glowered at Edgeworth who looked unfazed and continued speaking.

“Anyway, Your Honor. I request that we hear the witness’ confession.” Edgeworth demanded.

“As you wish, the witness may give his confession.” The judge allowed.

Witness Testimony ~ The “Wiretapping”

“4 days before the murder, I stepped into the Fey & Co. Law Offices.

I had done it to place the wiretap.

It was there that I saw an absolutely beautacious glass light stand!”

  “I see. That makes sense.” The judge closed his eyes in contemplation. Once he opened his eyes, he turned to gaze at Mia with a serious expression on his face, “Ms. Fey, you may question the witness one last time. But be warned, if you do not find any contradictions, the cross examination period will be over and I will readily hand down my verdict. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, Your Honor. I understand.” Mia acknowledged.

Cross Examination ~ The “Wiretapping”

“4 days before the murder, I stepped into the Fey & Co. Law Offices.

I had done it to place the wiretap.

It was there that I saw an absolutely beautacious glass light stand!”

  “It was there that I saw an absolutely beautacious glass light stand!”

  Objection!

“Mr. White, it’s not possible for you to have seen the glass light stand 4 days before the murder.” Mia stated clearly.

“Really, Ms. Fey? Do you have evidence to back that up?” The judge inquired. Edgeworth shrugged and shook his head with a cocky smirk on his face.

“Of course she doesn’t.” Edgeworth remarked.

“Actually, I do.” Mia revealed with an equally as cocky smirk on her face.

“What?!” Edgeworth exclaimed. Mia pulled out the bag containing the note and handed it to the judge.

“Your Honor, what does the back of this note say?” Mia probed. 

“A glass light stand. Purchased on September...4th.” The judge read aloud. “And for 1,000 dollars too! That must’ve been one fancy glass light stand!” He remarked.

“Whaaaaaaat?!” Edgeworth exclaimed. Redd looked absolutely flabbergasted. Mia walked up to the witness stand and faced him.

“There’s only one way you could have possibly known about the glass light stand.” Mia claimed. Edgeworth slammed his hand on the desk.

“How? How could he have known?” He inquired.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Mia challenged. She whipped around to face Redd once more and glared at him, “He was in the office on the night of the murder!” 

The gallery fell into a murmur. It was so uproarious that the judge had to bang his gavel to get the crowd to fall silent once more.

“Order! Order! Does the witness have anything to say regarding these accusations?” The judge questioned.

“Gaaaaaaaaaaah!” Redd slammed his head on the desk and screamed once more. The judge banged his gavel and stroked his beard in thought. Edgeworth turned to the Judge desperately.

“Your Honor, the defense is clearly badgering the witness with these baseless accusations!” He remarked.

“Your Honor, the witness has screamed like this twice before and has been unable to provide an answer when asked about the glass light stand! He is clearly demonstrating suspicious behavior!” Mia indicated.

“Hmm, I have to say I agree with Ms. Fey on this one. His behavior regarding the glass light stand is at best, slightly suspicious.” The judge remarked.

“But, Your Honor-” Edgeworth began to say but was cut off by Redd.

“No, stop...I confess. I hit her...with the ‘Thinker’.” Redd confessed.

“Witness, are you telling us the truth?” The judge questioned.

“Yes...the glass light stand was... knocked over during our struggle…” Redd admitted.

“Hmm, very well then. I see no reason to continue this trial” The judge commented. A couple of guards walked into the courtroom and handcuffed Redd White. Once they left, Ms. Fey stood at the defense bench with a calm expression on her face. Meanwhile, Edgeworth looked absolutely flabbergasted.

“Before we end this trial, there is one last thing that must be done. Will someone please lead the defendant to the stand?” The judge demanded. A couple of guards escorted Ms. April May to the stand and left her to hear her verdict. April’s gaze remained fixated on the judge as he spoke. 

“Defendant, although you were not the killer as suspected, wiretapping is a serious crime. You will be tried for that at a later point in time. Do I make myself clear?” The judge told her.

“I understand, Your Honor.” April responded calmly.

“Very well then” The judge nodded, “On the charge of murder, I hereby find the defendant….”

  Not Guilty

  “Court is now adjourned.” The judge declared. The pound of his gavel signaled the end of the trial and everyone exited the courtroom.

After the trial was over, Phoenix and Mia had lunch together to celebrate their victory in the trial. Once they were done eating, Phoenix and Mia went their separate ways and Mia proceeded to ride her motorcycle to the building where the Fey & Co. Law Offices was located. She walked up to the office and unlocked the door. 

Mia passed through the reception area into her personal office. Once there, she headed towards her desk and sat down. She opened one of her desk drawers and pulled out a picture. It was of a girl sitting on a beach who was holding a conch shell up to her ear. Her eyes were closed and she was smiling happily. Mia smiled fondly at the picture and warmth shone in her eyes as she gazed at it.

I got him, Maya. The man who murdered you and ruined our mother’s life has been brought to justice. You can rest easy now, my sweet sister. She gazed at the photo for an hour or so more before placing it on her desk in such a way that it was facing her. 

A day later, she was asked to identify her sister’s body by the police. After that for the next few days, Mia was swamped with paperwork but she managed to persevere through it. Eventually, the day of her sister’s funeral had come. Although she was still in the middle of completing paperwork, Mia made the effort to be at the funeral. She tried to remain stoic throughout the service but once she began to deliver her eulogy, she couldn’t prevent herself from choking up and started sobbing after she was finished.

As she began to leave the funeral, she felt a warm and playful breeze. She turned around but saw nothing behind her. Despite this, she couldn’t help but smile before turning back to leave once more.

Court Record:

Evidence:

Attorney’s Badge - Proof that I’m an attorney. I always make sure that it stays polished so it shines when I show it off.

Maya’s Autopsy Report - Time of death: 9/5 at 8:20 PM. Cause: blunt force trauma caused by a single blow to the head by the Thinker. Death was instantaneous.

Floor Plans - Floor plans of the crime scene: the Fey & Co. Law Offices.

Glass Shards - The broken remains of an expensive glass light stand that I purchased the day before the murder. Unfortunately, it’s broken beyond recognition.

Strange Note - A strange note with a message written with the victim’s blood. The message reads, “Examplibit A”. On the other side of this note is a receipt for a glass light stand I purchased the day before the murder.

Maya’s Cellphone - My little sister’s cellphone. Has our last conversation recorded. The only other indication that it was hers is that it seemed to have fallen from something. Despite that, the phone seems to be in good condition.

The Thinker - The murder weapon. Looks like a statue but is actually a clock, although I took the clockwork out. This is where I hid the important papers and is what I was going to give to Maya for her to hold on to on that fateful night.

Wiretap - Found in Miss May’s hotel room. Used to tap my phone.

Profile:

Phoenix Wright - My student. Although he is still new to the profession, he has a lot of potential and is determined to find the truth.

Maya Fey - The victim of this case and my little sister. I meant to give her an important piece of evidence for an upcoming trial on the night of the murder. Never could I have imagined that things would turn out like this...

Detective Gumshoe - Homicide detective at the local precinct. In charge of the initial investigation.

Miles Edgeworth - A gifted and ruthless prosecutor who will do anything for a guilty verdict. He looks familiar but I can't put my finger on where I’ve seen him. 

April May - The defendant of this case. Stayed at the Gatewater Hotel on the night of the murder and came to my office to retrieve some papers. Tapped my phone on the day of the murder at the request of Redd White.

Bellboy - Bellboy at the Gatewater Hotel. Did not witness the crime firsthand but noticed that April May and Redd White were missing during the night of the murder.

Redd White - CEO of the information gathering company, Bluecorp. In truth, he has built his company through blackmail.

Fin