#(sir permission to speak sir but i dont want to be in a car with ya'll for six hours either...)

[lavender---sunshine]

Like ok how you going to guilt ME for not making you go 3 hours out of the way?

[zuffer-weird-girl]

May i request for overhaul just being vulnerable because of the first time he felt "threatened" by somebody trying to steal angel away? And he feels really terrible about it? (Even if he took care of the issue...the person- already?) You may decline! Thankyou

He wasn't the best to be involved with.

Heck, he would be a hypocrite if he deny such a thing. He is arrogant, cold and capable of kill someone if they accidentaly bumo onto him. Not even mentioning the sociopath part of his persona.

Resume. He is a mess of a man. Sometimes he even question it if you were actually sane to still be with him. Say you loved him for who he is and stay by his side even on his worsts moments where he knows he is an absolute asshole if it let him.

He knew you deserved better. He knew it.... yet his selfishness was way bigger than his common sense; he didn't wanted to lose one of the only good things on his fucked up life.

He was too possesive.

Yet seing you there... smilling and actually laughing at that man's words and gestures made his stomach turn into a knot as he gripped on his glass a little bit tighter as he stared at the scene with nonchalant expression.

"Such a beautiful person like yourself involved with us? A bunch of yakusas? Pardon but I mistook you with actual royalty." The brunette haired man spoke as you giggled and waved him off.

"Please, this is beyond exaggerating sir!"

"I beg your kindness to call me Harishima. It would be a blessing to hear my name be spoken by such a sweet angel's voice."

Angel? Angel... that was his nickname for you. How dare he-

"Shit! You're okay Overhaul?" He heard Chrono's blvoice and he only let out a confused noise before looking at his own hand... despite the gloves on, that was sign of his blood dropping on the floor along with the remains of what used to be a glass.

He didn't even used his quirk to do that... impressive. His subconscious spoke louder this time.

He merely grabbed a napkin and started to wipe it off until he heard your voice. He stared down and found you with wide worried eyes directioners at his injury as his chest somehow fluttered in relief.

Your attention was on him. You carried about him.

"What happened?!" You took the napkin out of his hand and sweetly wipe while holding his hand on yours... many were shock that Overhaul didn't killed you right there for touching him without permission.

No. The man was staring down at you like it was not a big deal. Letting you treat his wound as you asked for anyone for some bandages.

The worry in your eyes were genuine... you didn't had the same look towards that filth.

"Kai I think we should go to-"

"Oh my." The man you were speaking to appeared and dares to put a hand on your shoulder "Mister we should get to the hospital. I can take both you and this lovely friend of yours there by my car."

"Would you really do that?" You asked in astonishement and relief as the man nodded with a smile.

His eye twitched at the sign. Snatching his hand back he took off his gloves and let it fall to the ground as he used hsi quirk on his own hand. Poker face present with a tinge of hate and wish to kill as he stared Harishima on the eyes.

"As you can see-" his hand returned back to normal "I dont need this stupid charity of yours. And I command you to stop this disgusting flirting on my partner. Unless of course you dont treasure your life this much." He narrowed his eyes at the quivering man before telling you to follow him since he was done of this reunion.

You looked at Hari whose shrugged before quickly apologizing to Harishima and going after your fuming boyfriend.

He could hear your footsteps after him but he didn't even dared to look behind his shoulder or to even spoke one single word. On the car it held such a tension atmosphere that could be snapped by a freacking needle.

Now, back to the safety of you guys shared room, you looked at your boyfriend changing out of his clothes before gulping and have thhe courage to speak.

"I thought we were suppose to get out of there at 10? Is still barely 9 p.m Kai..."

He stop mid track on folding his shirt. Golden eyes looking slowly at your figurine before they retreated, as well as his actions of searching something to wear at night after taking a shower.

"If you wished to pass time with that filth then you should had at least said on my face."

The time your ears got his sentence you widened your eyes and stared at him for solid minutes in shock as he refused to lock gazes once again.

"What are you... talking about?" You giggled "Wait... no. Kai you were-! Oh!!!" your giggles got into a point you were laughing, back on the bed as Chisaki arched one eyebrow up as one of his eye also twitched in anger.

Making fun of him after what happened. You were lucky enough he treasured you or else you would be around on all room and being cleaned out of it by Chronostasis.

"Quiet." He commanded and you only laughed harder, giggling when he grabbed on your shoulder and forced you to look at the murderous glare he had on his face as you smirked up at him.

"You were jealous of Harishim-"

"Spoke his entire name. Go on." He narrowed his eyes down at you and clenched his grip on warning "I dare you to do it."

Smilling up at him you giggled one last time.

"I lost count of how many times you got jealous hun." You giggled more before you stopped when he let your shoulder go, turning his back to you "Kai..?"

"... you know dearest. That... you're free to go. There's no need to remain here against your own will." That was the last thing he said before getting inside the shower, leaving you at the point of your heart to burst out of your chest.

What was he talking about?

After some torturing minutes he got out of the shower and widened his eyes at seing you, boucing your leg still waiting for him but soon they got back to normal.

"I thought you would be gone by now." He spoke nonchantly as you hesitantly looked up at him.

"Do you want me to?" His heart did a weird thing, but it seemed like it had contracted at seing your worry and how afraid you seemed to be.

"If it is against your own will and you're lying then yes." He said in the most cold tone of voice possible until you got up to look up at him, inches apart from his body.

"Why would I pretend something like that? We both know I cant even hide you that I ate a candy bar without you looking!"

"... what I am saying is..." he sighed, his pride not even allowing him to look at your eyes "I don't think I am the most suitable person to you. After all you're just so... pure."

You blinked up at him in surprise and shock... he wasn't only jealous this time, but insecure. Heavens, when was the time you ever saw your Chisaki Kai, OVERHAUL, insecure?!

"This is new..." you mumbled, finally catching his attention enough for him to look at you "Kai, you treat me well enough. Jesus you spoil me rootless since I almost beg you to not do it!"

"Is not a matter of money. Is a matter of treatment. I should at least... give enough of affection for you to not go to other males seeking for such things." He looked away, scratching the back of his neck until he let out a gasp at you hugging him tightly.

"You idiot." He narrowed his gaze at you who had your head on his chest "I couldn't ever seek attention from other guys since I have you. Germophobic and all of your package." You looked up at him as he stood with his arms out awkwardly.

"Yet you seemed quite fond of that sick-"

"Is a matter of good education. I dont even know if you noticed but everytime he tried touching me I brushed off. Just at that time when he was suggesting to take you on a hospital!"

His gaze slowly softened.

"You are the only one for my eyes dammit! I love you for you Chisaki! Sure, our affectionate touches might be rare but that's what make it so special... and you're getting better on your mysophobia! Geez last time there was a dirt on the floor instead of wanting to kill someone you went there and clean it yourself!"

"That was simply because no one else can clean something properly." He brushed it off as you again rested your head on his chest with a sigh.

"Trust me at least once Kai..." you mumbled until you gasped when you felt him hugging you back slowly with one arm as the other was occupied on petting your head.

"I dont trust on others... thinking they can take what is mine away. The wish of killing them is huge, yet I cant deny that some of them could treat you at least better."

"That's not true idiot!" You gasped when he flipped your head and pouting up at him as he looked down at you with a soft look yet lips pressed onto a thin line as always.

"You are insufferable sometimes you know that." He sighed with closed yes, detaching his arms away from you.

"And you were jealous of me some hours ago." You smiled at him "tsking" at your words and then you peeked his cheek, making him gag and press his hand on the area where your lips met his skin.

"... go to sleep already will you." He said before muttering some excuse to leave as you giggled at his attitude.

He gave only a few minutes, enough for you to sleep as he come back to the bedroom and saw you on the bed... his mind told him something and his heart another.

He decided to be bold this time. Getting behind your back and slowly putting his arms at your waist and pulling you to his chest as he breathed in the scent of you and your hair had let out a quiet exhale.

"How did I of all people deserved someone so understanding as you..? My angel."

He would only do this when you werent conscious. This way you couldn't saw how much effect you had on the most fearful and dangerous villains of Japan. A gangster. A killer.

Yet you were there... as always.

Hee could only promise he would try to be a better man, give a world cured off the diseaces for you to live.... After all, that was the minimun he could do after what you did and still do for him.

Poor man doesn't even know you were awake the whole time. He was about to live hell tommorow.

[ivyuns]

landing in my heart: paragliding

han jisung

genre: angst

word count: 2.1k

warnings: location spots are in north and south korea, language, mentions of mines, weapons, death, cliffhanger, if i missed anything plz lmk :)

A/N: first part of landing in my heart series! changsik is y/n’s helper for la vie en rose

navigation

landing in my heart information

LIMH chapters

“tomorrow, the story about you and actor sangu will be posted”

“itll say how you two were just pranking fans that you two are together. as you see, the picture just shows that you were just holding his wrist. plus your face is blurred so there shouldnt be a problem” changsik says.

you turn off your phone and start paying attention to changsik. “okay but can we do something about the blur effect?” you asked. “oh, do you want me to ask them to blur your face more?” “no, its just that they put the effect on my earrings. you know those earrings are rare to get in the collection”

everyone in the meeting takes a big sigh. “ah, purchasing manager. what are you going to do?” you asked as he slams his note taking book close. “pardon?” “the earrings, purse, shoes. you need to make sure theyre in stock at all times” nodding his head, he goes to restock the items you told him to.

exiting your office, everyone talks about you. “is that her?” “she looks ugly in person” “hes probably with her for her money”. continuing walking behind your bodyguards, you get a call from an unknown number.

“look at you. you look like a celebrity or something”

“who is this?”

“i- you dont even have my number saved? its your eldest brother, sejun.  anyways since you dont keep up with the news, dad is coming back home from probation. you should probably come by the house and greet him”

pausing your tracks, “is this your number?” “yes, please just save it” “dont get another number or blocking it for two times will be annoying” you said and blocked sejun.

hesitating to enter your family’s house as you heard sejun and sehyeong argue about who will be deserves to inherit the family company during diner and your dad yelling out where were you. stepping into the house, the house was quiet.

“hello dad. congratulations on getting out on probation. i heard you wanted me to be here. is there anything you need to speak to me about?”

“you should move back in” “is that all? i was wondering why. you look great by the way. please take care of your heath. i just came here to say hello so ill be leaving now” you waved goodbye and walked towards the exit.

“i want you to take my position” you dad tells you before you could exit the room. “dad!” your brothers yell out. turning around, you see everyone looking at you as your mom shakes her head towards you. “you left home and started your own company for 10 years, i think you deserve it”

hesitating to answer, you agreed to take the position which annoyed the brothers. finally exiting the room, you left the house with fear in you.

“shall we start?” you asked as everyone gets your parachute ready for paragliding. running off the cliff, you begin floating in the sky with a huge smile on your face. “miss yoon, please be careful!”

peacefully enjoying the scenery, you take notes on how beautiful it was. you then see a floating tractor. worry takes place as you realize theres a tornado happening. trying to not get in it, the wind forcefully takes you to the tornado, making you scream out for help.

-

north korean boarder

jisung heads to the northern side of demilitarized zone to patrol with company five and a few other soldiers and hears shooting going on. quietly walking into the direction of everything going on as a group, jisung stops as soon as he hears what type of guns theyre using.

“captain han, theyre heading into this direction, judging by the sound of the gunshots” hyunjin pauses, “maybe its a deserter from the south-” “the combat site is 400m away from our current location. going in at 11 o’clock, total count is 10. k2 automatic title, six in total. and tokarev tt-33, three are in use” jisung tells them.

“whats tt-33?” seungmin asked. “theyre our camrades” jisung answered and started walking with his group behind him. seeing whats going on as he saw three men on the ground and the military of the south, he gave him group a signal to continue walking. lifting their guns up, the southern sees them and puts their guns up as well.

“step back. take one more step and youll enter our garrison” jisung shouts out. “hand these three over and well be gone” one of the soldiers said. “theyre our camrades” jisung answers. “captain! we got the state security departments approval and came here to hunt deers but we got lost by the tornado” one of the men on the ground said.

“they crossed the southern limit line and caught digging cultural artifacts” the same soldier said and shows proof. “is anyone injured?” jisung asked as the southern military puts their guns towards him more. “the problem is solved. put your guns down and we will too. i swear on my countrys honor and will stictly punish them. when it comes to punishments, we, the north will certainly outdo the south. well drop our weapons on the count of three.”

by the count of three, everyone puts their weapons down. the three men on their knees sees a gun in front of them and grabs it. trying to shoot the soldiers, jisung quickly grabs them. everyone puts their guns up till- “just return, dont get into conflict with the north” “do you hear me? dont conflict with the south” the radios from both sides said.

after gathering the three men and tying them, company five got them as jisung stayed behind. making sure the south was gone.

back at the gate, jisung is in front of the car that the three men are in as he waits from cheolgang to arrive. seeing him arrive, he stands up straight and salutes him, as well as hyunjin and seungmin. cheolgang sees the three men in the car and turns to jisung.

“greetings sir. company five is is on standby to transfer the grave robbers, who we arrested in the northen demilitarized zone” jisung tells cheolgang. “good work. anything else?” jisung relaxes and tells him how some of the fences were down due to the tornado. “we should tighten security for the area thats damanged until everything is fixed”

cheolgang nods his head. “they probably crossed the southern line due to misunderstanding so let their punishment be lenient” “it happened in our patrol zone. this cannot be taken lightly” “you are well aware that the state security department gave them permission for them to be here” cheolgang says.

“are you saying that they gave them permission to pass the demilitarized zone just to collect artifacts?” jisung asked, feeling annoyed with cheolgang. “of course not, captain han” he chuckles, making company five tensed. “i told the south that they will be taken for punishment, and i shall keep that promise” “do whatever you want, but i do have a promise. i, jo cheolgang, never go easy on anyone. no matter what their ranks are. if you create any act that may threaten our army security, youll be finished right on the spot. but of course, youll never do that” cheolgang finishes. jisung salutes him as he leaves.

south korea

“but i need to get there, i need to see miss yoon” changsik says as he heard people said that youre nowhere to be found. as he sees someone on the stretcher, he starts tearing up as he thinks youre dead. the police comforts him and sees the cameraman that was supposed to take videos of you in the sky. “hey! wheres my boss?” changsik yells at him. “i dont know” he cries out in pain. “didnt you have a camera? why didnt you take a video of everything?” “in that situation, i couldnt. i nearly died!”

changsik was left alone as the rest of the rescue crew tried to find you. “gosh why did you have to make yourself do this y/n”

-

north korean boarder

you wake up, high up in a tree. as you yell out for help. as jisung and seungmin is around the area, he stops walking and asks seungmin if he heard anything. shaking his head, seungmin gets a call from the other company five members, asking for him to come back and help with the fence. jisung gives him a signal to go and looks around the area.

as jisung sees you in the trees, you look down. “excuse me, can you help me get out of here” seeing his metal and gun pointing at you, you quickly unbuckle everything and falls onto jisung. realizing, you quickly get off of him.

“ah, did you come here from the north? are you a defector? welcome to the republic of korea” you said. “r-republic of korea? i think youre mistaken. i didnt go to the south. you came to the north” not believing what he said, you looked around and saw his serious face. “since you came here, youll be taken for investigation” jisung says. “huh?! wait i didnt mean to come here at all-” “then explain everything to them like that.

after arguing, you ran but was stopped by jisung yelling you to stop since theyre mines in the area. “dont move or else youll loose an ankle-” jisung pause as he accidentally steps on a mine. “are you okay” you asked. “im fine” “are you sure because you dont look fine-” “i said im fine!”

jisung grabs his walkie talkie to call seungmin for help when his grip failed and the device fell into the river. walking to the walkie talkie, you picked it up. “thank you for picking it up-” “who said i was gonna give it to you?” jisung sighs. “tell me which way i need to go first” “follow the path and when you meet with two paths, take the right one”

after telling you the directions, seungmin calls out jisungs name. “im here!’’ jisung yells out. fear taking over you, you quickly ran.

seungmin finds jisung on a mine and quickly sets him free. “captain han, is there anything wrong?” seungmin asks. “let the crew know that someone is in the zone by accident” “huh? is it a spy?” “no, a south korean girl who accidentally came here” seungmin nods his head and lets the crew know what happened by radio.

as you ran, you took the left path instead, not trusting jisung. you came across of a field that had a sign saying ‘mine field’. turning around to a safer route, you see the soldiers looking for you. headed to the minefield instead, you ran through it and the soldiers made a detour to get you.

as seungmin and hyunjin are trying to get you, you saw a broken tree on the fence, thinking it will lead you to the south again. as youre on the top, you see the two men giving you signals to not go there. not listening, you jumped over the fence as you saw hyunjin raise his gun at you and fired.

as you kept running, you passed jeongin who was reading a letter from his mother in the fields. as you were running still, you ran into a forest and tripped on a rock. “mom-” you said quietly. trying to pull yourself up, you go back into the past. everytime you fell, you would always cry out for your moms name. but realizing how weak you relationship with her was weak and she was not here with you.

regaining your strength, you got up and walked.

back in south korea, your mom gets a call saying that you were lost and tells the rest of the family. sejun and sehyeong and their wives are pleased, knowing that one of them will get their dads position.

“honey, you need to make sure you get this position” sanga tells sehyeong. “but you still need to find minseok” sehyeong nods. “dont worry sanga”

“hyung. do you think sehyeong will find me?” minseok asks mr oh. “i think we should go somewhere else, i dont think its safe here anymore” minseok nods his head and packs up to go somewhere else.

as an old lady asks for a ride as she sees military trucks, she was rejected. she then sees three men in one of the trucks. as they hit the end of the road, she sees another truck hitting them and another one, making the truck that the three men are in fall into a ravine and explode. she gathers her stuff and tries to run away when another truck runs into her.

after walking for miles in the dark, you ran into a village. feeling relieved, you smiled. until you saw the lights shut on, you were met with music going on. seeing everyone getting ready for their morning routine, she now believes shes deeper into north korea,

just as the leader enters the village, jisung quickly grabbed you and hid you in his chest from getting caught.

[thequeenb]

Destiny (part 1)

A request from @lightning-fury

Pairings: KamilahxMC

"What is meant to be always finds a way"

Kamilah was never used on having a relationship neither she was willing to. But Amy came in her life and she was drawn to that woman.

The cold and cynical woman she always was softened under Amy's gaze even she never admitted it. Everything was perfect the first few months, Kamilah cleared her schedule for Amy and spent time with her even texting her something she wasn't familiar with. But all that changed on one specific night.

Amy walked inside Kamilah's office furiously knowing when you play with fire you get burned

"Are you serious??" Amy yelled crossing her arms as Kamilah was surprised she saw her Infront of her, in her office, while she work. No one disturb her when she works. "Who let you in?" Amy laughed sarcastically not believe what was happening "Do i need permission??" Kamilah didn't bother to listen to a mewling mortal, especially while filling in documents that until "I ASKED A QUESTION" Amy now sounded really serious "am i a toy to you? A slut you fuck and then leave???" "Amy if you could j-" but Amy made the decision she wish she never made "look Kamilah you use me and-" but she stopped when she found herself pinned against the wall, Kamilah was Infront of her, eyes red and her sharp fangs out. "Listen to me mortal" she started holding Amy's hands tight "Ouch you hurt me Kamilah!!" But she didn't listen, it was like another person was inside her. "No one. Disturb me. When i work." Kamilah said angrily still holding Amy "Who even are you?? You hurt me Kamilah!!" But she didn't listen to her she wasn't planning to. "You think you matter?" Kamilah's angry voice echoed in Amy's mind. Maybe it was a nightmare, please let it be a nightmare. Kamilah pushed Amy hard, making her land on the floor. "Are you crazy??!!" Amy tried to stand up but Kamilah's strength was unbeatable, she was at her mercy. "Why do you think you are so special? You were just a person to pass my time with when i was free" Kamilah said laughing sarcastically "you really thought i would fall in love with a mortal like you". Amy stood there, tears falling from her eyes, how could she not see it before? Those words cut deeper than a knife in Amy's heart she stared at Kamilah in disbelief. "I will go.." it was all she could say with her shaky voice but before she had a chance to go Amy felt two sharp fangs cut deep into her neck this cant be happening can it? She cares Amy she will stop..she will stop..she.. will..

But Kamilah took it to far this time, drinking Amy's blood like her life depended on it. Amy fell unconscious as she caught her, blood dripping down her chin "That will teach you a lesson" she smirked as she carried her to her car. What happened to Kamilah? The one who used to not care about her safety as long as Amy was safe?

Amy tried to open her eyes even if she couldn't. She heard voices and conversations, she felt needles in her hands but she believed it was just a dream, until she opened her eyes. "Great you are awake Miss Parker" a nurse said reading her clipboard "You fainted last night, Miss Sayeed informed us about the incident, you had a deep mark in your neck that we tried our best to recover but rather than that your health is fine you should be able to leave tomorrow, if you need anything dont hesitate to call me" and like that she left Amy alone. What the hell happened? but then flashbacks came back

"Kamilah stop!!!" Amy moaned in pain not believing what is happening, is that really Kamilah? Is this just another nightmare" "Please..it hurts" she tried to push Kamilah away even if she failed, until everything started to spin around her as she closed her eyes.

"No.." she said as tears run down her cheeks. The woman she trusted with her life failed her. Did she pretended all these months? Was she always this cruel and she was so blind in love to notice? Her head was hurting so she decided to rest, in hope her tears will stop that way.

"Thank you very much" Amy said to her nurse as she was exiting the hospital. The sun went down so she wrapped her hands around herself trying her best not to cry. How could she do this? Until now she never found a logical explanation to what caused that behaviour.

Amy walked by Priya's club one drink never hurt anybody.

As she entered the loud music made all her thoughts disappear so she walked to the bar "One dry martini" she ordered as the barman gave her a smile "here you go Miss". Amy drank it in one shot feeling the alcohol burn her throat. Before she could get up she felt a cold hand on her shoulder "Well well" Priya said smiling widely, Amy wasn't in the mood to speak as she waved at her "Follow me, to much loud music here" she said pulling the girl to her large office

Amy sat in one of the huge leather chairs as Priya did the same "Now then to what i owe this pleasure?" The fashion designer said holding Amy's leg "i needed a drink" Amy said coldly, even Priya sensed that something was wrong "Hmm..What happened hm? You dont seem well" is that a genuine concern by Priya Lacroix? Was she really ready to talk about it? But she needed to get it out of her chest so she explained to the vampire what happened watching Priya's eyes turn red "That two faced bitch!!" she said shocked "i knew grandma wasn't as she showed she was" Amy started sobbing running her hands to her hair "Shhh dont cry" Priya said pulling her into her hug, Amy felt safe, like someone really cared about her well being, she enjoyed the warmth "You know you cant sit crying like someone weak would..my forte is revenge" Priya said smiling widely "and you can make her pay". Amy took those words very seriously.

2 months had passed and Amy was weak and vulnerable sitting on her couch all day. She never told anyone what happened but then she touched her wound tears forming in her eyes. "Ouch..". Kamilah never healed her, she left her at her own luck. How could she be so heartless? Amy swears she saw vulnerability in Kamilah's eyes, but then again maybe she was wrong. Amy stood up feeling dizzy as she approached a mirror. She looked at the bite, it was hurting to much. Was that her punishment? Her thoughts were to much to handle as she fell to the floor crying. You can make her pay..you can make her pay.. "I will make her pay" she finally said wiping her tears.

"Are you sure you will be ok?" Lily said as she watched Amy pack her things "absolutely Lil, its a one time opportunity" Amy decided to build her own future, she found someone who was interested in her ideas and wanted to proceed further into giving her a chance. "Dont forget to call me" Lily said wiping her tears "Oh come here" Amy said hugging her best friend goodbye as she walked to her taxi.

Los Angeles, 10pm 3 months later

Amy succeeded to be the best at what she did, many doors opened for her when her ideas were fascinating and helped the company rise to the top. "And our outcome has increased to 30 million dollars a month" Amy said proudly looking over at her boos who nodded in disbelief.

When the meeting ended her boss called her in his office. Amy has been waiting for this month's now. "Hello Amy take a sit" the old man said crossing his hands. "You are remarkable, you sacrifice everything in a little amount of time for this company" Amy smiled "I am determinated at what i do sir" "Please call me Harry" he said smiling. "So the reason i called you here is because i am actually retiring" Amy tried to hide her excitement "And i couldn't think of a better person to rule this empire, you made me proud" Harry said extending hands with Amy "I wont disappoint you i promise"

Everything she ever wanted was right in her hands, she had power glory but what she missed the most was revenge, revenge on the one who broke her as a person and made her feel weak. She stroked her wound reminding herself how cruel Kamilah was its time for you to pay.

Since she decided to make a new beginning she never looked back, she didn't pick up phone calls and didn't rest..what she desired was revenge. Amy was sitting on her couch with a glass of wine trying to think of a way to ruin Kamilah's life. What does she care about the most? Hmm..oh i know..her stupid clan she thought smiling widely. "You will regret Kamilah Sayeed".

New York city, 11pm

"Karen bring me more documents please" Kamilah said sitting back on her chair. She haven't tried to find Amy nor she was planning to, she knew she was to good for her and she decided to push her away the cruel way. Months passed by and no one heard of her. Adrian told Kamilah she would try seek happiness and no turning back. "Here you go Miss Sayeed" Karen said handing her the documents and then leaving her alone with her thoughts. Today was her and her brother's birthday, she smiled to herself thinking back to their good memories.

Even if 2000 + years had passed she could never forget him.

"Come on it will be fun" Lysimachus said as he grabbed Kamilah's hand "You will get us in trouble" she said rolling her eyes but she loved when she had the chance to spend time with her brother.

But her thoughts were interrupted by the open TV she had in her office, she was about to close it when a familiar name popped in the screen.

"Former millionaire Amy Parker made her way to the top in a small amount of time working for Mister Harry's Financial Company, yesterday the Empire was handed to the brilliant young woman only 23 years old".

That was enough to see as Kamilah closed the TV. She was surprised to see how Amy who once was a weak woman was now actually building her own empire. But she couldn't care less so she continued her job without ever thinking about it. Big mistake.

Meanwhile,

Amy was attending her party to celebrate her achievement in a beautiful red short Armani dress and sparkly diamonds all around her neck,ears and fingers. Months ago she wouldn't care less for expensive tastes and clothes, but her life changed, she changed. She walked with grace around the large living room of her mansion clicking her glass. Everyone stopped whatever they did as silence fell into the room. "I would like to thank you all for coming tonight to celebrate my success" she said smiling "i want to thank Mister Harry for believing in me" her eyes fell on him who nodded greatfully "and i wish you all a lovely night, enjoy our goods" and like that the room filled with cheers and people chatting about a variety of things.

"Miss Parker they are here" her personal guard said. "Lead them to my office" Amy said grabbing another glass of wine.

As she walked in her large office she was greeted by two women, desperate ones.

"Well well, is there is something i can give you? Wine? My blood?" she said laughing for a brief second and then crossed her legs, her expression serious and scary. "They attacked us again, they are unstoppable, stupid Council" one of the women said as Amy was deep in thought "they dont have mercy for clanless do they?" she drank her wine thinking of possible ways to help.

When she came in Los Angeles the first person she spoke to was a Clanless vamprire that soon became her very good friend. She helped as much as she could given the opportunity and she didn't hesitate to tell them about the Council and their secrets.

"With all due respect but weren't you close to the council members? Especially the strongest one Kamilah Sayeed?" the other woman asked as Amy's expression changed to an unreadable one "Yes. Yes i was" she said like she had poison in her mouth and needed to spit it out "i am sorry i didn't want to-" but Amy held up a hand "Dont, you just gave me a brilliant idea" she said smiling widely.

Tag list: @@galaxyside-0 @scarlet-letter-a0114 @la-guera-69 @amorettemcsky @ilovetaylor13m @idkbutkamilah

[cannibalisticshadows]

Nightcall (2/2)

[ao3 Link] .    [Part One]

Megamind drops out of the media. Though the media doesn’t drop him.

The spike in his frequent fights with Metro Man has done a complete 360, much to the relief of the locals and to the disappointment of tourists. The news and media alike have leaped onto his sudden change like scavengers to fresh offal. Talk of his recent rendezvous, or lack thereof, are on everyone’s mind.

“He’s a maniac,” some talk-show host said into the speaker, hunched over a desk looking quite aggressive. The screen of the television baths the blue alien in a dull electronic glow illuminated his reflective eyes. He frowns at the person but having no good point to disagree. He’s just offended someone would be so bold to jump into the obvious.

“He’s a maniac, and Metro Man has been taking his sweet-ass time in trying to bring this alien-fuck down. Sure, sure, all-righteous and no-killing and what not. I’m sorry but he’s just pious.” Not just ballsy, but controversial. “My only guess as to why Megamind has abruptly vanished like a phantom is because our city’s hero finally grew a pair and kicked his skinny blue ass into the next life. And by God will none of us miss him. Look at what a shit-show he’s turned this city into—“

Megamind turns the TV off by throwing the remote so hard that it shatters the screen.

Sighing, he crawls out of his little nest of blankets and decides it’s time. He’s been procrastinating enough; he’s done nothing for the past two weeks and it’s getting to his head.

His plan to tell Roxanne started out sounding like the only resort to fixing him and his dumb extraterrestrial make-up, but he’s been pushing it off since he got home the last time he broke out of prison. Who knew he could really raise some hell by simply doing nothing.

Roxanne has made few appearances on television since her last kidnapping. Sadly enough, due to his absence, she had little to do (at least, to the public eye). She was the main reporter, focusing on Metro City’s star inhabitancies. Metro Man had nothing much to do besides helping little old ladies or getting cats from trees—not worthy of making an emergency announcement on the news.

And since he hasn’t seen her, he’s going into such a stump he’s made several near attempts to just show up at her place with no spray. How would she respond?

Well, he’d find out tonight.

He filled the invisible car up with his home-made energy source, making sure it wouldn’t run on empty. Tonight he was going out, far enough to reach the boonies.

And he wouldn’t be alone.

Megamind, unsure of how she’d react but knowing this would be practically life or death for him, grabbed a few essentials. The de-gun. Knock-out spray. Rope. You know. The usual. This had to go as smooth as possible for him to get serious with her, to assure her he’d never bother her again as long as he got this off his chest so he could wallow in misery with a peace of mind.

So, making sure she’s home with the affirmation from one of his spy-bots, Megamind packs up his things in the car and zooms out of the Lair before Minion can so much as ask “Where are you going, Sir?”

When he gets to her building, he uses a brainbot to fly him up to her balcony. She never locks it (Oh, Roxanne, I do question your sanity sometimes), so when he pushes the glass doors open, he enters a relatively quiet domain.

The lights over her tiny kitchen are on, illuminating her one-person apartment. Sniffing, and catching the remnants of her perfume, he follows it until—

“Mega—“ Before he gives her time to even finish saying his self-given name, he whips around and gives her a reasonably large dose of spray. She gasps, eyes roll up, and her body drops in a dead weight. Flinging out an arm he catches her, unable to keep his hungry eyes from the expanse of her pale, bare neck. Megamind splays his fingers across her bare, marveling at seeing her for the first time in weeks. It’s been too long.

Tonight she’s wearing civvies. A pair of dark wash skinny jeans and a white peasant blouse with little red and blue flowers along the neck and sleeves. She’s missed a barber appointment, he thinks, as her hair is exactly two centimeters longer than usual. Her hair’s also a bit damp, curling ever so slightly at the very ends. She not wearing makeup, either, letting him see all of her little brown freckles dusting her cheeks, like little stars in a milky white setting. He licks his lips.

Megamind ties her wrists and covers her mouth with a cheap duck tape. He’s never taped her mouth shut before, but for once he doesn’t want her screaming or complaining. And despite every Hollywood movie where the bad guy tapes the victim’s mouth shut, it’s very possible to remove it without the use of hands.

He carries her out bridal style, whistling for the brainbot to bring him back to the car. Once on the ground, he tucks her into the passenger seat and pulls the belt on, all before getting in himself.

And then he drives. He drives for a long time, content for the moment to sit in silence beside the soft rumble of the car’s engine.

Swerving through Metro City’s night traffic, the city lights gleaming in this never sleeping place, he keeps his head low as he goes, so stressed he finds himself clutching the wheel so hard it threatens to snap. The leather of his gloves scrunches.

They (he; she’s still knocked out) drive out of the midnight city into the rolling countryside, past the lake and past the forests. Lush green hillsides and vast farm lands. He can hear the road scratch under the car tires as asphalt turns into gravel and dirt.

After about forty minutes of driving, he can tell Roxanne is beginning to stir. Quickly, he pulls up beside a huge oak tree in the middle of no where, and void of another living soul for miles.

Well. There is a cow outside but it’s like, ten feet away minding its own business.

As the car comes to a stop, he turns the key and all is instantly quiet.

With a soft grunt, Roxanne squirms in her seat and consciousness slowly comes to. He doesn’t watch her, choosing to star at his bony knees and twiddle his thumbs. All he can hear is her movements, and his own rapidly beating heart.

“M…Mmm?” Her eyes slowly open, blinking in the dim atmosphere. Her eyes then open wider, and she looks around for the usual sights of a kidnapping. Seeing as they’re only in the car, and her mouth is taped, she abruptly begins to struggle.

“Wait!” He says frantically, trying to calm her like one would do for a wild horse. “It’s okay! This isn’t a kidnapping! Well, technically it is but it’s just us—“

“MMM!?” She starts to work her mouth through the tape in earnest, tongue visibly trying to lick at the stickiness.

“Please, wait! This is—I just want to tell you something. Something… important. I promise on my ancestors that you have full permission and more to beat me outside but… please. Just listen to me. Please, Miss Ritchi.”

Her struggling stops, and she turns to him with a suspicious glare. He bows his head, flushing in shame. She hates me.

Though she’s trapped him under an intense stare, snaring him more than he had with her, Roxanne goes still as if awaiting for whatever stupid thing he’s got to say to her.

“I… want to apologize, for my behavior two weeks ago. It was unforgivable.”

“Mm.”

“But—I… I…”

She glares harder. Ashamed of himself, he turns his stare to the dashboard.

“I love you.”

He doesn’t look up to catch her reaction, but she doesn’t respond verbally.

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” He bangs his forehead against the steering wheel with each confession, feeling all the pint up emotions in him pouring out like water from a broken dam. It burns his insides with glorious relief and bittersweet shame all at once. Yet it keeps flowing. “And I’m so, so sorry. It’s—not my choice, Miss Ritchi. I can’t help it. My b-body…Ah��s—“ he stutters, so anxious it’s close to making him piss himself. He can feel it claw at this throat, threatening tears. “My species… we d-don’t have crooches, like a human. We… fall in love. Hard. And once. Only once. Once and only with one person. And that’s it. We mate for life, like doves. Or beavers. Wolves. I-It doesn’t matter. But once the relationship is formed that’s it. Cheating or finding a second love if the other leaves or dies is purely an earthly concept. My own p-parents, they—they only had eyes for each other. Sex or romance wasn’t even a concept I understood before I met y—…. I didn’t chose you, Miss Ritchi. I didn’t want this to happen. You don’t deserve this. I’ve already turned your life into a living hell, and for that I cannot apologize enough, even onto my grave. My transgressions are unforgivable. Yet, even being here on Earth I cannot…. There is no place for me. My planet, it’s… I’m all that’s left. And Minion. I didn’t think I could possibly imprint on anyone, much less a human, in this way. Yet… I am so sorry. It’s all my fault. I should have known…”

She’s fidgeting ever so softly beside him, he hears the crinkle of the tape.

He doesn’t realize he’s crying until he takes in a staggering breath, wet tears rolling down his sharp face and trickling on his lips. Salty like the sea.

He can’t bring himself to speak again in fear of weeping like a damn baby, but he feels as vulnerable as one in the moment. Weak. Childish. Pathetic.

The car falls into a silence, with his shaky breaths and a light breeze rolling against the windows. Other than that, it’s as quiet as a void. He glances at her from the corner of his eye, and sees her staring outside at the cow as if it had done something personal to disrespect her.

They sit in silence for a long time.

“I’m done,” he suddenly says.

He hears her move around again.

“I’m… I’m done. With this business,” he gestures to himself in general, to the car, to his gun. “I mean, there are things you don’t know about. Things I’ve done behind cameras. In the underworld. I’ve committed enough sins to last multiple lifetimes over. There’s blood on my hands. Miss Ritchi. Like you wouldn’t believe. And… I’m going to give it up. I can’t keep doing this…

“This such a archaic concept for me. Aah, uh, did you know… Of course you wouldn’t… The males, sometimes even the females, of my kind have to… catch the other sometimes. To express that they feel the same way. Avoids miscommunication or misplaced feelings. My own father… had to sneak into my mother’s household as teenagers to propose to her. It’s—I didn’t even realize it until recently I was courting you! Unconsciously! I’m—God I’m so sorry, Miss Ritchi. I just need to go away. “

She lets out a muffled sound again.

“I’m moving from this place,” he looks around at the vast farmland, the dot of the city in the distance, reflected by his rear-view mirror. “Romania sounds nice. I do a lot of business over there. Lots of forests and hillsides where there’s no one for miles. I can’t bother you or anyone out th—”

Roxanne suddenly spits.

Looking over to her in surprise, he sees she has vanquished the duck tape and has rolled it up in her mouth to spit it onto the dashboard. Turning on one hip, she faces him with such a glower it chills him to the very bone.

“Don’t. You. Dare,” she hisses.

He shrinks in his seat.

“Don’t you dare drop this on me and say you’re just gonna leave!” She yells, pulling against her taped wrists. He opens his mouth to let out a string of never ending apologies, but—she’s starting to cry, he sees, much to his absolute horror. Has he truly upset her this bad? He really was a monster.

“How—you stupid, stupid man,” she cries out, and suddenly—he sees her raise her arms, still taped by the wrist, and he honestly thinks he’s about to be hit when—

She loops her arms around his big blue head and latches onto his neck, yanking him closer and making him clumsily fall onto the stick shift as—

Her mouth is on his. So hard do their mouths come together that their teeth clack, faces clashing together he barely has time to process what’s happening. Gasping, hands wild and unsure in the air as she seemingly tries to suck his soul out, but—he knows what’s happening, mildly, but a bigger part of him is convinced he’s dreaming or hit his head.

The feeling of her lips touching his, though, is electrifying. Every nerve in his body begins to sing and scream all at once, overwhelming him with a sensation override. She moans and presses closer, both of them awkward and clumsy as they clutch at the other from opposite seats. Clutched… he feels his hand involuntarily grab her waist, holding his close but terrified he’s mixing the signals. It feels so so so good, though, and—

She pulls away before he can even realize he was responding back, albeit unsurely. Arms locked around his neck, he mentally curses himself for tying her up. But. It felt like the thing to do at the time.

“You listen to me you son of a bitch,” she viciously spats. “You come to my place, ten’o’freakin’clock at night, and tell me you love me only then to say you’re leaving? What the actual hell!?”

He attempts to pull back, hide in his shell, run away from her furious reprimand, but his neck is still trapped by her arms. Shit. Really a bad decision to tie her up. The alien’s prepared to say something, anything, to show how much of a lowly creature he is in her light, but all that comes out of his throat are choked warbles and whimpers. “I—“

She sniffles.

He meets her eyes in surprise to see two glassy blue orbs meeting his. Frantically, he try to console the weepy female by nervously patting her back. “Ah—M-Miss Ritchi—“

“You were such an A-hole,” she says, sobbing. “Megamind, for once you were actually cruel. It scared me.”

“Oh, oh my dear—No, no, my sweet, no! I wasn’t—“ he swallows. “I wasn’t trying to be cruel. I was just frustrated. With myself. With my instincts. I—if I behaved any less I would have made a fool of myself.”

“Well, you already did that by yelling at me, you cabbage.”

“I-I’m sorry.”

“You made me feel like a whore the last kidnapping.”

He remembers that dress she wore. Wine red, rimmed in black. His... comment to it. Megamind bows his head and clenches his whole body. “I am sorry.”

“And you made me worry about you. I haven’t seen you in weeks.”

Confused, he looks up at her. Roxanne then pulls at her arms and lets him go from between them. Gesturing with her wrists, he catches her drift and pulls out his trusted butterfly knife and whips it out, glad to have something to do with a tool he’s familiar with. Nothing else felt familiar; alien and strange.

As the plastic finally rips away, her skin safe from his sharp little friend, she wraps her hands around his neck and yanks him to her again. Eyes wide, he numbly feels her kiss him a few quick, consecutive times before—

She slaps him in the chest.

He’s nearly got a concussion from how bad the whiplash is.

“Is it true?” Roxanne demands. He’s unable to speak. “Is it true? Do you love m—“

“Yes. Yes, I love you. A million times over.”

This little woman shakes her head, eyes glistening with something he can’t begin to understand. He feels like he’s drowning, with a weight tied to his feet to prevent him to swimming to the surface. He can't breath. She then grabs onto his shoulders. Shaking her head again, she says, “Then don’t go to Romania. Don’t leave Metro City. This place is our-your home.”

“Miss Ritchi, I can’t… stay around you anymore,” his voice breaks. “I can’t without—“

Her lips are on his again.

Shocked, but rapidly trying to learn this new skill she’s apparently trying to teach him, he responds as best he can. Periwinkle blue to unpainted pink, their lips press against each other, seining the warmth and the wet of the other’s mouth. He once saw this activity between lovers an unsanitary and strange thing, but now he understands its meaning. His lips are quite sensitive, and this kissing sets his body to flame, scrambling towards something he can’t seem to catch.

When she pulls away, he follows her, not wanting this connection to end. A tiny bead of saliva snaps between them as their lips depart.

“For such a genius, you can be unbelievably dense.” She cups his face. “I love you Megamind."

What.

"God, I love you. And your behavior, this month—I thought you’d finally lost it. Or just got tired of me.”

His first instinct is to respond yes, yes he has lost it, completely and utterly, but—

“You—you what—“

Roxanne shakes her head again, this time smiling so wide that it nearly reaches her ears, all pearly whites on display for him. She lets him go, finally, letting him think straight. Which is bad because his brain runs in about five hundred directions. Blinking rapidly to disperse the tears in her wet lashes, she continues with, “I’m glad you told me this. Because—I was considering on moving as well.”

He jolts in his seat.

“I sometimes get job offers in other places. This time… I had an offer in Liverpool.”

“Leeverpul!? What’s can you find in Leeverpul?”

“I like the British accent. And it’s far, far away from here.”

Hapless, he stares at his knees.

“Hey,” she pulls him out of his stupor. “Look at me. That’s better. Now. That stuff you said about… imprinting on me? Is that true, too?”

“All of it,” he breaths.

Roxanne nods her head and leans back against the leather seats. “Then listen to me. I love you with all of my heart. I have for a long time, Megamind. So it hurt me, so, so much with how much of a dick you were suddenly turning into. You may as well have stabbed me in the heart.” He winces. “And then you just up and vanished. Gone. Everyone is talking about you!”

He can’t believe what she’s saying. It’s nothing like he ever imagined happening in any probable outcome of this. She… actually… returned his feelings? What??? What witchcraft is this!? He really must’ve bumped his head hard!

“I... know. I see the news. I see my lack of an appearance in the public eye has given you less work… Ah, are you sleeping better?”

She looks at him in confusion.

“You were always falling asleep.”

Roxanne lets out a loud sigh. “I know… I know…”

“Why.” It isn’t a question.

“I always thought you were just a bit ol’sweetheart that grew up on the wrong side of the law. I fall in love with you a little harder every time you goof around like that. I hate that you’re always destroying something or trying to start a fight, but it was a little endearing.” She lets out another loud exhale. “And then you started acting like I was shit under your shoe.”

“N—!“

She raises a hand, and he immediately goes silent.

"So I started drinking. Tried to drink the pain away. But that doesn't work," her voice breaks a bit.

He wants to bang his head against the wall.

“And I hate that you dragged me out here,” she motions toward the countryside. “You don’t have to ship yourself off to God knows where, but stopping the kidnapping would be nice. Even if it’s apart of your… culture.”

“Whatever-Whatever you desire," he swears reverently.

“What I desire,” she says, placing a hand on his knee, “is for you to take me home.”

He nods, expecting that answer.

“And I want you to come up with me. We’re gonna have a talk.”

“O-kay...?”

Suddenly she leans over again and presses his lips to his cheek. With his breath hitching, because its still a lovely, foreign feel to him, she adds, “And then I’m going to show you how much I love you, too.”

“W—“

“I know you, Megamind. I can see it in your face. Now. Take us home, sweetheart.” She kisses his lips again.

This time he knows what to do, and copies her actions better than before. It feels like fireworks.

He’s glad he told her.

[chipsanddespair]

{Go to Part 1} {Go to Part III}

A good man

Youre a good man, David said, But youre too generous for your own good. You let people use you.

Chris couldnt respond because what he wanted to do was scream, No. No you are wrong. You dont see. I am not agood man. But it was no use, it never was. Goodness and generosity. Kindness. How many times had he had to listen to himself described in those terms? Everyone had decided that he was good and kind and they were blind and deaf to anything other than confirmation of his goodness and kindness. His attempts to protest his ordinariness were not so much dismissed as co-opted as proof of his saintliness.

And it wasnt just goodness and kindness. Tell people that he was a lawyer and immediately he was a legal eagle. Tell them he liked to sit down at the piano and he became an accomplished pianist. Try his hand at writing and he became Chris, the Great Writer. Tell them that he was proud of his children and he was branded as the perfect parent.

Was that so bad? He had asked himself many times. Surely, it was better to be thought well of? Some people might consider it ungrateful, arrogant even, to reject the worlds assessment in favour of his own. Anyway, people saw what they wanted to see. If that was what they saw, or thought they saw, was it his problem?

The answer, he knew, was yes. Tempting as the argument was, it ignored the burden that fell on him as a consequence. His whole life until now seemed to have been devoted to propping up the image that people had of him. Because they would not have it any other way, that was the image he had to maintain. He had become, if not the embodiment of a lie, then a character in a play that could not end because the audience would not allow the curtain to fall.

And it had all begun, he was certain, with the dream of making a model to impress his mum and dad and his teacher. A dream made of balsa wood. A simple dream begun with utter confidence but one that proved as hopeless at it was flimsy. But a dream that could not be seen to fail.

*****

There had been no hesitation about the deception once it had formed in his mind. He thought about that much later on in life when he was remembering how it all started. No Jiminy Cricket alighted on his shoulder to give him a ticking off. No miniature Chris in white robes and halo. It was the only solution. He could not meet the expectations he needed them to have of him. He could not let them down by showing them how far short he had fallen. Better to show them nothing. Let them fill in the undrawn canvas. The only question was how. And now, at this distance, fifty years on, he found that, to a degree, he could admire the almost effortless shift in planning from making the perfect model car to creating a perfect lie. Time, and his forty years experience as a servant of politicians, had made him cynical and cynicism had given his thinking nuance, the ability to recognise something as awful and yet to appreciate the cleverness of it.

But time had not drained the shame. That first terrible encounter with the thought that he was not as good as he needed to be, had sent a shock through him so intense, so visceral that each time it resurfaced he had to clench his fists and slam the door on it in his mind. Sometimes, the need to shut it out provoked an actual howl that he had quickly to stifle in case the company he was in should think him in pain or mad. And it was no longer alone. Many more had joined its ranks and sat on the walls as he walked down the streets of his life, taunting, calling out the worst obscenities imaginable. Useless fuck. Tosser. They broke into his house and stood around his bed as he tried to sleep chanting failure, failure, youre rubbish, mate, until he feared that the neighbours and his family would hear and realise the truth about him. They followed him into work and sat in front of the screen when he was trying to read some dense legal judgment reminding him that he was not clever enough to understand it. They followed him into the pub and whispered to him that his friends there would shun him if they knew.

Knew what?

Objectively he was a success. Objectively he had done well. But according to his own assessment it was unmerited. He was a fraud. A fraud trapped within his own scam, forced each day to perpetuate the lie of his worthiness by the insistent self-deception of those around him. Maybe not an actor, no, more like a conjuror required to keep pretending to pull coloured silks from his mouth because the audience, believing him to be a real magician, would not let the trick end.

*****

One lie, done to save face, had set the pattern for another and another. It was like when you had boarded the wrong train, which was now rolling through the countryside, and all you could do was look out of the window and let it carry you on. The train Chris had boarded took him away from his home station of truthfulness and diligence to deception and disguise. The gentle but relentless motion of the train and the passing landscape through which he was carried, remote and indifferent to his existence, gave his lulled mind space to admit a new and awful thought: that you didnt have to stand and face your failures. You could leave them behind, just by keeping the momentum going, and just as long as you didnt force the people who stood in judgment over you to question the good impression they had of you.

It was a thought that came wrapped as the present of comfort but something about its slipperiness and the way it seemed to change shape as he tried to look at it made him feel queasy. Everything about his life up to now had seemed solid and dependable, based around standards of integrity as ancient and unyielding as monoliths. His Mum and Dad had made it plain that they expected nothing less from him. He must not be as others were, sloppy minded and careless of the value of honest dealing.

But all that was back there, at home, out of view. He wanted to stop, to go back. But the train was in motion and the ticket in his hand was for a one way journey and somehow he already knew that the gift he had been given, this brazen insight, was something that he would have to carry with him, concealed, all his life. And with that, anxiety, a feeling he had not known until he tried to build his dream car, welled up again inside his stomach and churned and burned like an acidic hunger.

*****

At the grammar school, Chris found himself alone, buffeted and mocked by boys tougher than he was, beaten in class by people who were brighter than he was and knew more than he did, humiliated on the rugby pitch and on the athletics field and in the swimming pool. Each day he could feel himself shrivelling inside. He wanted to cry, to howl out his misery but he knew that any slight display of weakness would be caught and picked on. He wanted to run away but he couldnt let his parents down. He couldnt let them see him defeated. It couldnt be his failure.

His stomach began to hurt again. It wasnt much but it was enough to make a start.

Yes, Hatch?

Please, sir, I dont feel well. I think Im going to be sick.

Take yourself to the office, boy.

And on the way to the office, he found he had induced a cold sweat. He heard himself sounding disorientated. He hadnt intended it but some part of his brain had taken over the task of lending authenticity to his ploy. And in moments he had his permission to go home. He checked himself from showing any sign of pleasure or relief and by the time the bus came he almost believed that he was ill. And his mother received him with concern, put him to bed, brought him hot milk and honey.

In time, he could set himself off within the space taken up by the first hymn of Assembly.

His schoolwork suffered. It wasnt just the missed days. It was the homework not done because he was afraid of committing to paper and risking the red crosses and starkly scrawled admonitions that showed he had got something wrong. It was the books he couldnt concentrate on because he was afraid he wouldnt be able to make sense of the words. It was the times when the teacher asked if anyone needed something explained and his hand remained down because to raise it would risk admitting that he didnt understand. But, as if to confirm the rules of his ordeal, just as it had been with the balsa wood car, none of this brought investigation or judgment or punishment. At worst, an end-of-year report would say disappointing, or could try harder. And nobody asked him what was wrong.

He lived his days now in a fog of terrifying unhappiness and fear and his nights chasing away dreams filled with anxieties and recriminations. He felt a drenching cold loneliness even in company but still he must perform for those around him. This was his punishment, his penance. Every day he rose and put on the make-up of a dutiful, sensible schoolboy and went out onto the stage to play his part. It was all they wanted of him. His teachers would speak positively about him and his parents would lap it up. Because, he realised, they were not looking at him at all. They were looking at the image he had created for them, the image of a boy he had once learned to be to gain the grown-ups approval, quiet, well-spoken, polite. It was what they wanted to see and they could not, did not want to, see behind it to the tired and frightened child anxiously holding up the mask for them to admire.

Once, just once, Chris tried to talk to his mother about the sadness and anxiety that he felt inside. She shut him down in an instant. Nobody wants to know, Christopher. Christopher. The name she reserved for when she was displeased.

At the time it had seemed so cruel. Only later, when he had come to understand his own condition, did it dawn on him that she had been chiding herself, not him.

Failure succeeded failure, each one dressed as success. His O and A levels a mess. A poor degree. A poor showing in his Bar examinations. A worthless pupillage. And then, when it was plain that he could not sustain himself at the Bar, a civil service job that owed much to his fathers reputation and had the approval of his mother.

He wanted so much to do well but his mind was so wrapped in its own misery that it would not support him. And the world would only accept the version of him that he had painted for their pleasure. Heres the house, heres the door in the middle, here are the windows, two up two down, heres the chimney and heres the smoke. And heres Mummy and Daddy and heres grown up Chris immaculate in his suit and shiny shoes. See how the sun shines on his smiling face. He is a success. He is happy.

To Part III - Happy