#(similar vibes to iZ!ro rolling up to a coffeeshop insisting the barista add like a 1/4 cup of cinnamon to his drink)

[soysaucevictim]

Currently feeling like I'm in Hell World in the health department, so that lead to something amusing with the co-conspirator:

Me: i have mental image of iZ!roman unenthusiastically eating food Him: no no, not just unenthusiastically, but sociopathic food eating behavior. like my niece who rips all of the cheese off of a slice of pizza to eat it by itself then scrapes off the sauce and then contemplates eating the crust like me and my sister were very much "food must not touch" growing up, but she takes it to a whole new level Me: pffft ('twas me projecting my feelings abt food w/ the 'struggle to find shit i can stomach or finding stuff that feels good to eat' thing) Him: i figured i also figured this was an instance of him running out of hot sauce to make things palatable so he's just picking at his food and forcing himself to look human but at the same time, looking like an absolute sociopath Me: lowkey, i love this this shit Him: like people have paid and left because of how uncomfortable it is to be around him imagine feeling so shit, you project an aura that devastates the business's profits for that day there is now a picture of him in the supply closet taped to a bottle of hot sauce "IN CASE OF HIM" Me: iZ!Roman Casts Aura of Dysphoria. (in the general sense of the word) Him: you should draw that honestly, a lone bottle of hot sauce with a picture of roman and "IN CASE OF HIM" written on the picture and someone has to explain to every new hire that the bottle must not be used under any other circumstance no this is not a joke yes they are in fact real no this is not the same bottle, we replace it every time it gets close to being past date. "Some people say he just squirts it directly into his mouth." "One waitress swears he draws a line like it's coke and then snorts it through a straw." just over time the myth behind him being apathetic about food without hot sauce grows into a full on urban myth remus is not at all jealous about roman becoming an urban myth before him. /s