#(she doesn't usually read weird shit so. we'll see.)
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bigcats-birds-and-books · 6 months ago
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Books of 2024: DESERT CREATURES by Kay Chronister.
Up next! I'm heading back into my Driscoll revision project next month, WHICH MEANS: I can start reading through my Driscoll-vibes TBR shelf again!! I have been promised weird desert body horror (with a side of cannibalism? yikes?), and I'm excited to see how this goes.
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aihoshiino · 5 months ago
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chapter 151 thoughts
Chapters Since The 143 Kiss Happened And Went Entirely Unacknowledged And Unaddressed Count: 8
Aqua Hoshigan Status: Black
Kana enjoyers continue to eat good in this new arc, as 151 very clearly parallels what's considered one of the more iconic AquKana chapters from the first half of the manga with a bit of role reversal in the mix. 'Reversal' is sort of the keyword for this chapter for a handful of reasons but we'll get into that when it's relevant.
the usual shout out to mengo for Peak Faces this chapter. my faves were kana's blushy face as she takes off her glasses and aqua covering his blush with his baseball glove… it does NOT get cuter than that.
It's pretty cathartic to see Kana get a similar TV spotlight to BH!Ruby, where she's centered in B-Komachi's success and Ruby is sort of just in the background lol. That said… kinda of hate that OnK is continuing to frame the ShimaD shit!!! I have a lot of complicated feelings about it but I will say that overall, it's pretty fucked that the story made all those correct assertions about sexual harassment in the entertainment industry and how women and young girls specifically are pressured to kowtow to men to retain their place in the industry and then like… not? link any of this?? to what happened to Kana??? Weird and bad!!!!
on the plus side. megarima and maskua <3
It feels like a good step for Kana to confidently assert that they are, in fact, on a date and their shared visible embarrassment is pretty cute. This is what I meant when I said this chapter was a bit of a reversal of chapter 30, which Aqua even calls explicit attention to - running from school to play catch vs running to school. It works well, imo, as a sort of marker of both change and consistency for both of these characters, showing us how far they've come… but at the same time, how much has managed to stay the same. This return to the early AQKN dynamic is really nice… their moment to moment rapport is the one I enjoy most in the series so even though it's definitely jarring to whiplash back to it after the Movie Arc… idk!! I am still enjoying it all the same.
aqua calling her out on it being a baseball date was really funny btw
And their talk about dreams is… Very Shrimptresting. I keep waffling back and forth on what to take from it, because hypothetically I think it's really interesting but whether or not I really end up liking it is going to depend on how things are handled with Aqua going forward…! IDK, this is the obvious pitfall of analyzing the story like this week to week,
I guess all I'll say now is that this falls in line with how I was reading last chapter's framing of Gorou -> Aqua, where Aqua's inheritance of that identity is just that - an inheritance and it's up to him what he chooses to do with that legacy. He can decide for himself what parts of it he wants to take with him into the future and what he chooses to leave behind.
That said: this is still black hoshigan Aqua. Is this just a 'dream' because it's something he wants but doesn't think he'll be able to have? Or is Aqua starting to seriously consider a future for himself past the end of his revenge quest? It was Kana who prompted him for an answer, after all, and he's already had to make a promise to her that he won't 'disappear'. Is he just lying here to put her at ease? Much to consider…….
Kana's side of this conversation is also really interesting. Kana is a person who acts out of genuine love for her craft, yes, but she's also correct that she kind of already got her assumed end goal of 'be a nationally famous actress' when she was a kid and it didn't necessarily make her happy or fulfilled. To a degree, she's been operating on momentum and desperation to cling to the industry so much of her identity was formed around. But if a 'dream' is something she just wants for herself, without her career coming into it… then what does Kana really want?
And the answer, obviously, is Aqua. With another 'oshi no ko' title drop, to boot…!
It's a little sad that even as Kana makes this tentative confession to him, she still downplays herself in favour of Memcho and Ruby but the emotional stakes she's putting on the table are very loaded. This essentially, without either girl knowing it, puts her in direct competition with Ruby who very much seems to still want to milk her sensei's Little Aqua and I don't imagine that conflict is going to go off without fireworks.
Interestingly, though, this isn't the only point on which the two are opposed here: this is what I mean when I said this chapter's keyword was 'reversal'. While Ruby insists that 'Sensei' is her oshi, Kana offers to be Aqua's oshi. This isn't the first time it's happened, either - when Kana talks about her feelings last chapter, she describes them as 本気の恋 (honki no koi), i.e, seriously, earnestly, truly in love whereas Ruby's confession uses the term ガチ恋 (gachikoi), a slang term referring to a fan who considers themselves to be legitimately in romantic love with a celebrity/idol/etc - and specifically says she's gachikoi for Sensei. Gachikoi is also how the first generation of B-Komachi are described in both Viewpoint B and 45510 in the original Japanese text. On just about all fronts, these two are bound to clash going into the final arc of the story and I'm tentatively interested to see where it goes.
No break next week!
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thedragonchilde · 2 months ago
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Going back and making notes for the first dozen episodes, since I downloaded the series! Here I have 1-6
"Gundam Fight Begins! The Gundam That Fell to Earth"
-some prime worldbuilding opportunities already!
-Domon’s first smile of the series is toward a child :)
-I wish we'd gotten more of Rain’s gadgets
-if these kids lost their parents in the last Gundam Fight, Sophia would've had to be just a baby. These boys raised a baby!
-we never get more on how the KoH title (and by extension the rest of the Shuffle Alliance) is actually known to belong to an elite fighter
-it's a shame that Michelo is such a hate sink because he's regrettably quite fashionable
"Roar of the Winning Punch"
-second episode, second instance of Domon in a bar. Is that whiskey?
-when the hell did he have time for 100 bouts? Even if you fudged his age, that doesn't make sense. They have to be counting practice or something
-Chibodee does NOT take embarrassment well
-and this is why they're rivals - that was a solid punch!
-ah, the shady government officials, who assassinate rival fighters and… hypnotize/brainwash people?
-little Chibodee!
-why is Mount Rushmore on the colony?
-the phallic sword positioning makes its debut
-”we'll eliminate you as well!” Damn, okay
-how can she know what Domon's suit-up sequence looks like and call Chibodee the showoff
-“Oh yeah”
-”why don't you just finish me off/I bet you pity me/my dream is now over” shit, the “Star of Hope” isn't very optimistic, though I guess that appellation was given to him to live up to rather than him choosing it
-he doesn't get why the crowd is encouraging him, let alone Domon. Oh honey
-”you're one of the good guys” hee :)
"Beat the Dragon Gundam"
-Sai, why are you sleeping in the road
-you little shit
-lol Chinese Gundams and water
-there's a lot of moving parts in this plot so I feel like I don't have much to say
-besides various versions of “you little shit”
-a draw! Nice to see Domon not winning handily
"Challenge! The Red Rose Knight!"
-They actually designed a Sand family crest
-ah, early installment weirdness, Raymond (or his lookalike) is with the princess
-DAMMIT DOMON
-is George psychically interfacing with his Gundam? Like, he's not in it, and he doesn't have a remote. Voice activation? And he's able to stand on it while it's moving, that's some A+ balance
-what is that bottle? Booze again?
-is he gently shooting her down or is he just oblivious? Probably the latter, since he's confused that she didn't want to listen to him wax poetic about his Gundam
-Marie-Louise how did you come up with this
-okay Domon going along with the plan is actually pretty funny
-who makes a toilet with an outside lock
-”I see nothing before me with the exception of this man” das gay
-he's not going to finish you, George, because that would mean you'd let go of the tower
-the French in that letter actually kind of sucked. And with @amplexadversary's headcanon that Domon is a polyglot, I wonder if he theoretically could have written it
"Great Escape! A Captive Gundam Fighter"
-“Why are there names of countries on this?” How do you know how to read Japanese?
-oh, this will be a huge scandal when it gets out
-for someone his size, Argo is quick as hell, being able to knock Domon out of the sniper's way
-okay, is Nastasha military or law enforcement?
-the eternal question: are suit-ups usually like this and just truncated for time, or is it only that difficult for Domon?
-Nastasha is a little turned on by being talked back to
-is it an asylum or a prison??
"Fight, Domon! Earth is the Ring"
-Kyoji shows more outright attraction to Rain than Domon does :P
-Domon gushing about Master is adorable
-saved by the mom! I'm guessing Domon didn't want to talk about the science stuff he could never get into
-so the finger snap activation is a Kasshu trait
-more early installment weirdness, with evil!Karato and an alternate explanation for Ulube’s mask
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mephestopheles · 6 months ago
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Adding my thoughts to the collective brainrot of the locked tomb fandom. I literally couldn't wait more than a month before diving into the series again, having finished it at the beginning of April. I'm just starting act 3 of Htn and we'll, one thankfully it's much easier to follow now that I can kind of see the path ahead.
What struck me though is, I think I understand why Pal and Cam had to die instead of Magnus and Abigail in the Canaan House Au's. Harrow is healing herself of the damage done by the weird lobotomy she has given herself. I think she really tried to make sure it was permanent, but doesn't realise that as a lyctor all she would need is time, and given that she is in fact like 201 ghosts in one tiny frame, she doesn't even need a lot of time.
So when she's awake, it's the usual go and she's concerned with her physical body and she's dissociated enough from that, that even she can't see her eyes correctly in the mirror anymore. (Side note, I love how often everyone questions Ortus, when she mentions him and how subtle it is at first)
When Harrow's asleep though, she's healing her brain by recreating her memories from the ground up. Now maybe initially the plan was to rewrite all of those memories with Ortus to make sure it's as permanent as the physical tampering. But I don't think she planned or even anticipated that she's powerful enough to drag the actual ghosts back to puppet the story in full.
I believe she's powerful enough to have actually unintentionally brought Wake's ghost back with her through the River. That's why she's getting the bits of memories and notes from Wake (first about the eggs and then about killing the others)
But specifically in the rewrite of the memories, Harrow is trying to justify certain things that can't quite be changed. Gideon was very upset about Magnus and Abigail's death, she took it really hard and Harrow didn't understand it in the first book (now that's Gideon's pov and Gideon is so paranoid that it's possible that Harrow is reckoning with Gideon being treated like shit what a crumb of kindness did). So she transposes that pain and grief to the people who make sense. Thus rewriting their roles to be those who died and that leaves Magnus and Abigail taking over in Cam and Pal's shoes.
Another big reason is that Cam isn't dead and Pal isn't technically in the river so she can't drag them in to inhabit their puppets.
I also love that Gideon was so lovestruck by Dulcinea in Harrow's memories that she can't remove it from Ortus at all, so he's instantly developed feelings for Dulcie and doesn't care for Pro. Since we didn't get much from Pro in the first book (poor dead walking bodyguard) what we get might be real, or it could be Harrow giving Ortus some reason to not like him.
That's what I've pieced together so far, it seems to fit with what I remember, but let's face it the first read of Htn is generally a fever dream.
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harrysmimi · 2 years ago
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Little Miss Cry
Synopsis: One where Harry is graduating before YN and she finds life harder to navigate through college already (requested)
Ps. Please read New Student and My Favourite Cry Baby for context.
More of my work
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YN was very grateful she met Harry at the beginning of her college course.
Though he initiated the friendship, he asked her out on a coffee date but she rejected him in the most adorable way - that's what he says at least -, she had grown to be way too close to him. Of course he is her boyfriend now.
The thought him graduating before her and spending two more years getting the degree gives her a weird ick. He can't walk to and from college with her everyday, he will be busy handling his dad's business, he will make new friends at work. This all unlocked new fear for her that he's going to forget her.
Her dad did that to her, when he left her at her Grandma's he'd just started his own business.
Plus having to socialise with new people made her feel sick. Harry hung out with her, he sometimes took her with him to see his friends though she always felt left out and most of them were older than her and she doesn't know how to start conversations, just being by his side is more entertaining to her.
Don't get it wrong, she is so happy and proud of Harry that he's graduating. His hard work was paying off. But she's also going to miss him, especially when he's going to move to a different place now and she can't just walk a few steps to go over to his whenever she pleases or wants. Does that make her a bad person?
"Hey, sweetheart!" Harry greeted her this morning with a kiss on her forehead and a hug, like everyday.
"Hey," she cooed hugging him back. She buried her face in his neck taking in the smell of his usual cologne.
"You alright?" He asked.
"Mhmm." YN nodded, realising that she was holding onto him for a little too long.
"Let's go then, yeah?" He suggested holding onto her hand as they walked to the lift. She stood in front of him pouting asking for a little smooch. He just chuckled leaning down he placed a kiss on her puckered lips. "You look so, so pretty today, did you curl your hair?" He noticed new waves in her hair.
"You noticed!" She was surprised, they both stepped into the lift, "and yes, Isabelle ordered this heatless curling thing online I tried last night. It actually worked."
"Of course, I notice everything about my baby!" He draped his arm around her shoulder tucking her closer to him. She smiled sheepishly looking down, he grabbed her tote bag from her as they walked to their college getting little drinks on their way. "There is a party tonight, do you wanna go with me?" He asked waiting for her to get her books from her locker.
"I, uh, I don't know." She stuttered remember the first and last time she went to a party, "I don't feel like going to parties, you know especially since last time. You, you were there. Sorry."
"Yeah, I won't force you. It's Okay, we can stay in and watch a movie or something or go on a little date, what do you say?" He suggested.
"No, you don't have to stay with me it's okay." She looked at him as she stopped arranging books in her locker, "I don't want you to miss out on stuff just because I don't like to go to parties and stuff."
"It's not that," he sighed watching her resume her arranging. He also noticed his previous years notes he gave her to study from, "I have grown out of parties already, I'd rather stay at home or be with you than watch people throwing themselves at me or my friends and get shit faced."
"You're graduating Harry, it's not fun. Isn't it like mandatory you celebrate graduation like that?" She asked, now finally done with her thing as she shut her locker closed.
"I can celebrate in much more fun way with you," he smirked, "we can go to the New York City for the weekend and go see the tourist attractions. You haven't been to any, right?"
"Harry, I'd feel too guilty!"
"Don't, I want to be with my girl." He assured her. "We'll talk more about it in break, yeah? Now let's go to our classes."
......................................................................
Harry and YN were sat at their usual place in the college cafeteria eating the lunch he made today. She ranted about how she curled her hair and which products she borrowed from Isabelle and how they work on his request, he loves to hear her talk okay!
That's the only way he can get her to talk, even though he would shamelessly admit he loves her little kitten stare at him, all doe eyed as he talks about his own thing. Or even when they're cuddled up on the sofa or bed watching something. He just how quietly affectionate she is. The way she'd just do the things he forgets to, like pack a lunch, get him a water bottle, cook meals for both of them (she especially loves to bake little treats often), or if she's hanging out at his and see his laundry everywhere she's just toss it in the basket for him or help him tidy up. Just these tiny little things she observes make him fall more for her.
"Harry!"
YN was interrupted by Niall approaching their table there with few of his friends. That made YN upset because they're not going to leave Harry alone for the rest of the break, she just wants him all to herself, is it too much to ask for?
Even at home he's constantly interrupted by either Mitch now that he's got less work and more time at home or it is Ethan, Harry's other roommate constantly shit talking about his job.
YN just sat there with her shoulders slumped in the corner, but Harry slipped his hand in hers under the table seeing her all anxious. He notices her becoming more quiet around his friends.
"YN what are your plans for summer?" Sarah asked.
(Not Mitch's Sarah.)
"Oh, I don't have any plans yet. But I'm planning to look for a intership for my next term project." YN shared, happy that at least someone acknowledges her.
"You're so boring," Beatrice rolled her eyes, "always studying."
"Isn't that why you're here for, Beatrice?" Harry deadpanned. "At least she's not wasting her time."
"Are you two like together or what? You're always speaking for her." Lexi giggled.
YN didn't like Lexi. She is in Harry's class always tries to hit on him though she had only seen him not pay a mind to her. She had started to come around since the start of this semester as she's got same class at Niall and Harry.
"You don't know? Of course they're together." Sarah snapped.
YN felt so bad in the moment. "I can speak for myself." She started, "and yes Harry and I are together."
Everyone looked at her in surprise, a quiet one speaking up for themself is quite unusual. Especially for YN there. Just before anyone could comment anything on it the period bell went off.
"I have a lecture." She said to Harry before leaving the place. God she's never going to hang out with his friends. Apart from Sarah. She's very sweet and humble.
"Wait for me, lovie." Harry followed after her, "I'm sorry about that baby."
"No, it wasn't your fault." She shrugged, her voice was watery enough for Harry catch on.
"It's okay, we won't see them ever again. Just a couple of months, yeah?" He assured her, enough to make her cry. "No, no, no, don't cry." She hugged him. "Let's go sit on the grass bit for a little, yeah?"
"I, I have revision." She mumbled inbetween her cried.
"Will help you myself, baby, come with me." He wiped her tears off her face with cuffs of his hoodie. He took her bag from her as they walked to the grass groud. "You know want to study here?"
"Mhmm." She nodded.
"Okay." He took his own laptop out to actually sit there and study with her.
She weirdly inspires him to study now actually and his academic success have grown a tad bit more with the efforts he has been putting in. He does have to stop and help her out sometimes as she studying same topics as he did during the two years of college.
By the end of the day YN had convinced Harry to really go to the party with his friends. He needs his own alone time apart from her, she said though he would rather be with her than his drunk friends really. But he said he'd go for an hour or so after her insisting.
YN went back home and got her other assignments done after work. She was all alone at home as Isabelle and Beatrice had gone to the same party themselves. She did her nightly routine and got all cosy in her bed, with her laptop to watch something new other than The Office. She had recently grown to love rom-coms, she'd watch the random one which popped on her recommendations. It was The Kissing Booth which popped up on her screen. Despite reading mixed reviews about it she still decided to watch it. Her bedding was extra comfortable today, her cuddle bear, Bibbles.
Before getting too comfortable, she noticed her water bottle was empty on her nightstand so she walked to the kitchen to fill it up and grabbed a bag of her favourite potato crisps. She heard her phone ding buried somewhere in her fluffed up blanket. She managed to fish it out and saw the text from Harry asking her to open the door for him, telling that he'd already asked Isabelle and Beatrice if he could stay over tonight and both of them said it was fine with them.
As far as YN remembered he left just about an hour and half ago, but she still went to get the door him. "Harry, you there?" She asked waiting for a response so she can actually proceed to open the door.
"I'm here, baby. Can you please-" he was interrupted when she opened the door, "Hello, my love!" She quickly stepped aside making him a way to get in, so he did and took off his outdoor shoes by the door.
"You didn't go to the party?" She asked.
"I did," he shared, "got bored and tired so thought to join you, do you mind if I?"
Harry did looked tired. He was working as well as studying his ass off for the finals. He had dark circles under his eyes by now, he was breaking out of stress, that's what he said to her.
"No, of course not."
"What were you upto, baby?" He asked, stuffing his socks back into his shoes noticed her staring at him.
"I was going to watch The Kissing Booth." She shared. "Do you want to go to bed?"
"We can cuddle and watch the movie." He suggested. Already making his way to her kitchen to get himself a glass of water.
"Yes." YN smiled shyly. She really liked how he had grown comfortable enough at her place lately. Especially since Beatrice had got off his back but she still finds her way to bully YN. He was dressed a simple black tshirt and a pair of black sweats. He'd seem to changed into his PJs from his usual button down and skinny jeans.
"Oh you've got snacks already." He chirped as he walked both of them to her room.
YN froze for a beat seeing she had her teddy bear up. She found it embarrassing to tell anyone she still sleeps with a cuddle bear. She had also managed to hide it from Harry until now, whenever he was over to spend the night with her she'd tuck it away in her closet. Harry acted like her cuddle bear to fill up for Bibbles the bear. It was only toy her cousins spared her to.
But to her surprise Harry didn't seem to notice it, or he chose not to comment on it. He followed her in bed, tucking the bear under his arm like a pillow before he was pulling up the blanket on both of their thighs. She pulled up the movie she was going to watch again.
"He's cute." He finally spoke up, "when did you get it?"
YN looked up at him finally, seeing the way he was holding Bibbles. She's quite protective of the toy. Why wouldn't she? It was the only thing she had to play with and she cuddled it at night, especially after she'd be going back to sleep after having a horrendous nightmare. The stuffed bear held bery special place in her heart. It bothered her the way he held onto it, with it's arm folded on itself. It wasn't going to break, she knew that, but still she was trying her best not to yank it away from him not wanting him to find her weird, that she's so protective of a mere stuffed toy.
"No, it's, it's very old." She stuttered, petting the leg of the teddy bear.
"Never saw it before. Does he have a name?"
"Mhmm." She nodded, relieved as Harry placed the toy on his lap properly. "I had him since I was one year old. Named him Bibbles."
"That's adorable!" Harry giggled. "I never knew you had a cuddle bear."
"It's embarrassing." She pressed play on her laptop starting the movie but he quickly paused it.
"It's not!" He exclaimed, "there's nothing to be embarrassed about, baby." He pressed a kiss on her head. "Here you have him." He carefully placed the bear in her lap. Well, least to say she felt that much less embarrassed about it now, she sat there cuddled and bundled up next to him.
The very next morning when she woke up as if on autopilot, she found herself caged and tucked under her fluffy blanket warmly. Bibbles the bear tucked close to her chest. Familiar smell of her boyfriend spooning her became more prominent to her as she started to wake up from her sleep. She had grown to love this feeling!
YN could only hope she could still get to wake up next to him. He'd told her a couple months ago he was moving to a different place. Five blocks away where they live now. He was going to be living alone there, he'd also taken her to visit the flat (or apartment as the Americans call it) as there was some renovations going on.
She knew he's going to be the next CEO to one of his dad's company but, she still couldn't fathom how he could afford a literal penthouse getting straight out of college.
Harry was nice enough to ask her to move in with him. Well, she wouldn't mind but she wants to live on her own, at least until she graduates and look after herself. It's always been her vision growing up. She had to politely decline his offer. And they have been dating for just about a year now, it was too early for her.
But it all sunk in on her out of nowhere, the fact that he won't be just a door away from her. Though that really made her realise she had to learn to take care of her problems on her, that she can't go on crying to him almost everytime. He's a human too, he needs his own personal space. He's got his own set of problems than hearing her cry over every little inconvenience life has to offer. That's one of the many reasons she wanted to live on her own.
He just won't be on campus with her, he won't be able to walk with her to and forth from campus to home now. He's got a more demanding job now.
It gave more anxiety to her than it should to him about starting up a new job.
YN didn't realise she was crying until she felt a gentle squeeze on her arm. "Hey baby, what's wrong?" He rasped, "did you had a nightmare or something?"
"No, it's nothing." She sniffled and wiped off her face with her sweater paw.
"You sure?"
"Mhmm."
She felt a kiss being placed on the back of her head making a shiver run down her spine. She doubts she'd ever get used to his kisses and not have shiver running down her spine or have goosebumps make her skin itch. She's literally cuddled up next to him on her double twin bed. So, she placed her stuffed bear on the floor next to her bed and turned around carefully, not to push him or herself off the bed on accident.
"Hi gorgeous, good morning." He beamed, petting her hair and instantly embracing her in a bear morning hug. Her face found a home against his neck. "Did you sleep well?"
"Good morning. I did sleep well." She mumbled, "did you?"
"The best sleep I've had in longest!"
"Do you want to stay for breakfast?" She suggested.
"How about I take you out?" He counter suggested, "on a little date, how do you like the sound of that? Wanted to take you out last but you forced me to go this party!"
"Yes, I want to go." She agreed. Of course she did! They haven't been out on their little dates in a while.
"Get ready whilst I go get ready as well, yeah?"
"I want to cuddle for a bit." She held onto him tightly.
"You sure you alright, baby?" He enquired again and earned just a humm from her. "Don't go back to sleep."
"I'm not." She whined.
"You know how much I love you?" He whispered, pressing soft little kisses on her head.
"Mhmm."
He gasped, "your answer should have been no. But I'm gonna tell you any way. I love you so much, can't even comprehend!"
"I love you so much too!" She mumbled against his chest.
"Yeah? You do?" He teased her, "are you going to let me look and kiss your pretty face then?"
YN shifted her head to look at him so he can kiss her and he did. His lips smeared over hers in a delicate good morning kiss, before he pulled apart enough to pepper the rest of her face with tiny sloppy pecks. Her fist tightened when she felt his hand creep down to the rest on her bum, finger tips digging gently in the full of the flesh as he buttoned his mouth back on hers. Much more needy, it felt like to like.
It had her heart racing even though it wasn't the first time, but the last time was interrupted by his other roommate knocking on his door looking for waffle maker. They don't have anyone at her's now to interrupt them. Feeling his hard on pressing into the soft of her thigh through the layers of both their sweats had her pulling away trying to catch on her breath. She was taken back by surprise with his forwardness this morning. He haven't touched her like that intentionally this way before, though she didn't mind in the moment she doesn't want to lead him onto something which she really doesn't feel comfortable with.
"Ha-harry?" She whispered.
"Hmm?"
"I, I think I, I don't like this... Please!" She requested which had him immediately pulling away and retreat his hands away from her watching her sit up on the mattress.
"I'm, I'm really sorry baby." He cooed, blood draining from his face immediately as he looked ather with concern, following her to sit up straight. "I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable, just got carried away, I'm so, so, so so sorry!"
"No, no you didn't, you didn't know." She stuttered, "we just haven't- I, I mean you never touched me there so it was something new. I was just surprised not uncomfortable, I promise. I don't want, to you know... go any further. I don't know if that's something I want just yet."
"We, we're not." He assured her, "oh my- baby I am really sorry!"
"It's okay." She rested her hand on the back of his own on the mattress. "Hug?"
"You sure?"
"Mhmm!" She nodded jerkingly. "You told me to ask you stop if I wasn't comfortable with anything, didn't you? So I did. Not that I'm uncomfortable with you, I feel more free around than anyone else. I just don't want to want to you know..." She shrugged punctuating her confess with a sheepish look on her face. That had him sighing in relief. His heart was thumping in his ears as he tried hard not to breakdown. His vision clouded with tears pooling up in his eyes.
"C'mere!" He offered her a hug which she gladly accepted. "Thank you so much for telling me, baby, you know I won't do anything to make you uncomfortable, right? I really didn't mean to."
"I know you didn't." Her hand rubbed strokes up and down his back. "Harry, are you crying? It's okay. I know you didn't mean it."
"I know, I know." He assured her, breaking the hug as he sniffled.
"It's alright. I love you." She leaned forward to place a sweet ticklish kiss on his cheek, it had him breathing out a giggle.
"I love you."
"Can I, can I tell you something?" She suggested.
"Anything." He pulled the blanket upto his thighs, he wasn't hard anymore with intense feeling of guilt clouding his brain.
"I don't want to have sex until I'm married, I know we never talked about it and it might sound old fashioned but I think that's what I want." She shared, "just want you to know so I'm not leading you on with anything unintentionally. I don't mind kissing and cuddling and stuff."
"If that's what you want then who am I judge, hmm?" He felt less guilty there, at he knew where to draw the line with her, and respect her boundaries. And the fact that she rarely opens about herself and he has to guess almost everything that she's actually sharing something with him, which warmed his hear. "Thank you for telling me."
"Your welcome." She smiled shyly.
"What got you all shy?" He chuckled, "it's okay you can talk about it if you want."
"No, it's nothing." She shook her head, "I grew up you know in environment where this is a taboo subject to talk about. And girls and even boys are told about it very little just a day or two before they're getting married. They don't even teach girl about good and bad touch, I mean my cousins were not but I was when I went to school in London. They taught us about what is that. So I just got ehmmm, a but flustered to tell you about it."
"First off, that's very fucked up." He started, "and second of all it's very fucked up. I'm glad you told me about it."
Well, that was good way to start the morning. Or was it? YN didn't know how to feel about that in that moment.
But as the day went on she really made peace with it. They had their take out brunch at a park near by Harry's new place and later went on to check on the little renovation going there. It was his mum's pent house she just gave it to him because she never uses it.
......................................................................
As the Autumn started new academic year for YN started well.
Harry graduated. He had a blast. He was also nice enough to include her in his fun, dragged her along to the parties where she could go as she was under aged to drink in America (but apparently old enough to take out a huge loan). Well, why wouldn't he? She's his girlfriend afterall!
It was also nearing to their one year anniversary in December. He had already been bugging her to tell him what she wanted to do already. Though she didn't want him to spend anything or do anything for her other than bake a few cookies or a cake and cuddle whilst drinking hot chocolate and just listen to him talk. In her heart she wanted to go back and relive their first date, go to the Time Square and share a kiss like they did.
But it's still a about four months away, she's got plenty of time to make up her mind. She was just happy seeing her boyfriend happy that he finally graduated.
Oh she totally gets him!
She's already dreading to go to classes or maybe it was her seasonal dipression kicking it.
She didn't know what was kicking in but college was already kicking her bum.
Just a couple of weeks in and she already has at least three breakdowns everyday. All she wants to do is now drop out and start her own bakery, well, Isabelle suggests that they both should go be strippers but she'll pass on it. Mainly because she's not that comfortable in her body yet. Atleast Harry would support the idea as he giggled and showed his support through the phone call they managed to squeeze in between in his hectic schedule.
But that's all she got. It was nearing the three week mark since last seeing him in person or kissing him or hugging. She was missing.
YN had a really bad start of her new academic year so far, she dreaded to do her assignments and was struggling to find intership for her project study. Every where she went to interview said they weren't hiring interns in the field she was majoring in. Well, she could wait until it's closer to turning in the project but jt would be too late as all the students would cram in to get that intership. She just needed a certificate of a completed intership that's all. And she made another huge error in her class presentation.
She knew she hated public speaking!
Her work life was a total disaster. Her shifts were odd all of a sudden. And maybe it was her bad luck following her to work that she had deal with rude customers.
YN was so grateful he invited her over for the weekend to his new place now that he had moved in and settled down. On her way from college she made sure to pick up a cute and small bouquet of flowers and chocolates. Well, chocolates were for her but she was willing to share.
She's just started her period okay!
She had a bad month so far. She's just excited to see her boyfriend over the weekend there. The walk was killing her but she made a stop by hers to get a change of clothes like he asked her to and her toiletries of course before making another walk the same distance from college to home to his mew place. On her way she picked up a small bouquet of red and white roses for her boyfriend. He was home when she texted him that she's down his building and just getting in the lift.
Just for YN surprise after Harry left her on read he was stood by his front door, already reaching for her duffle bag weighing it, to guess if she packed enough for the weekend or not. He seemed pretty pleased with it. He pulled in and shut the door behind him.
"Hi baby!" He sighed gathering her in a long craved hug from his lover being mindful of the roses she hugged near her chest. "I missed you!"
"Hi, I missed you so much!" Her came out muffled against his chest and felt him relax in instant as she rubbed her hand on his back, up and down his spine.
"Yeah? You did, huh!" He teased, giving her a light squeeze.
"Mhmm so much!" She lifted her head up to look at him witha subtle pout on her lips which he caught onto. He dipped his head down, just centimetre away from her mouth.
"Can I get a kiss?" He mumbled.
Least to say, butterflies in her tummy were going to have a field day today!
YN decided to give in first by initiating the kiss by smearing her lips onto his in a peck as delicate as Harry saw her to be. If he wasn't holding onto her, she would have been a puddle on the marble tile of his new home. A quick little kiss was placed on his dimpled cheek before she hugged him again, this time clinging onto him by his neck. He heard a few sniffles from her.
"You alright, my love?" He asked, concern weighed his voice down. "You crying?" He reluctantly pulled away enough to look at her, "what's wrong, baby?"
"Nothing. I don't know why I'm crying." She giggled but she was crying. It was confusing.
"Awh!" Harry cooed as he gathered her in a hug. "Come on, I'll show you our bedroom. It's all done now. I guess at least, unless you want ." He grabbed a gentle hold of her hand, laced his fingers through hers as he grabbed her duffle bag for her.
Well, she caught onto his word of choice to describe what's probably the master bedroom of his new home. It wasn't a big deal when she found herself saying the same thing, but when he said that it made her heart flutter a little.
Last time she was there he was sleeping on an air mattress on the floor for the time being in the living as he was getting his (both their) bedroom repainted and redecorated. He was taking full advantage of his father funding it, he said.
"You got the vase!" She exclaimed, excited about the vase she found online which she thought would look amazing in his house. It was fairly expensive so she didn't thought he would be getting it, but he got it! "And I got you flowers!"
"Thank you baby," he cooed taking the flowers she handed him.
"It's really good quality too, isn't it?" She inspected the new vase.
"Mhmm." He agreed as he plopped down on bed in front of her, "my girlfriend picked that up for me."
YN blushed and rolled her eyes as she placed the glass display back to where it was, on the little coffee table beside his bed by the floor to ceiling window. "You can place these in the vase now."
"Right!" He plopped the arrangement of flowers in the vase for the time being. "Also got a bed finally. My back was fucking killing me on the air mattress."
"Is it fine now?" She enquired.
"The pain it a little better yeah, just that I haven't slept on the floor since I moved out." He giggled sheepishly.
Harry moved out when he got into college. The cheapest dorm he got did not come with a single piece of furniture, not even an air mattress. So he slept on the floor with a blanket for a week before he got the time to actually upgrade to an air mattress.
He continued to show her some more new things he got for a little bit, before he got her to unpack despite her saying there is no need to as she's only over for the weekend. But he still cleared out a small section for her in his walk-in closet there and helped her unpack, by placing her makeup and stuff she brought along in the bathroom.
He knows it's just the beginning, they've been dating for barely half a year but he still wishes to share half of everything he has with her. Maybe someday he'll get to do that too.
"There are some sanitary pads and everything to hopefully help you, decided to stock up just in case." He informed YN as she watched him make a whole new corner for her little travel sized skin care stuff, replicating his own.
"How did you know I got my period?" She was surprised.
"I didn't." He admitted, "always keep this stuff. My sister adviced me actually. Have got many friends who get their period and it's nice to have stuff for everyone in case they decided to crash in. And especially since I've got myself a girlfriend."
It was bare minimum, he would say, but YN hasn't had anyone doing the bare minimum for her. Like ever. You see, it made her cry her.
No, it's just her hormones being all over the place!
"Thank you so much, Haz!"
"Don't cry!" He cooed. "This is just bare minimum I can do for you, baby." A soft laugh was what she heard before she felt a kiss on her forehead. "You alright now?"
"Yeah, it's my period I promise I don't cry this often anymore." She sniffled.
"That's okay!" He giggled, "do you want to go have lunch now? Then we can cuddle and watch Office or maybe take a nap, yeah?"
"Mhmm."
......................................................................
YN and Harry ended up falling asleep after lunch. Both of them tired from long month and time away from one another.
His new bed was very comfy, YN figured that the moment she lied down and sleep was taking her in a bear hug. But that peaceful and much needed sleep of hers was disrupted rather quickly when her cramps woke her up. She barely managed to get out from under Harry's arm wrapped around her to make a run for the bathroom. But it was too late and it was a crime scene.
"Shit!" She mumbled to herself. Luckily her white tshirt was saved all throughout her cleaning herself up, despite cramps killing her she somehow managed to wash up her bloody pants and knickers and clean up after herself, halfway though, it was still going to be a struggle to get rid of the stains.
"YN? You alright?" There was a knock on the bathroom door. "Can I come in?"
"No!" She rushed, "I'm fine. I'm fine. Can, can you please get me a change of clothes clothes, I, I need to change, please?"
"Sure."
She could hear his footsteps pad towards the closet where she left her bag, it took him barely thirty seconds to get back to her which made her sure he made a mess of her perfectly organised duffle bag.
Harry knocked on the door again. He held back his giggles watching her just stick out her hand creaking the door open and shut it closed.
Harry saw a little spot on the bedsheet, so he got to change those. He was done changing up the sheets in barely five minutes as he hadn't got that many pillows on his bed yet. He was just about to load the sheet into washer but heard her gasp on the other side of the door to the bathroom.
"You alright, baby?" He asked.
"Yeah!" She sounded, "five minutes."
Oh boy, it's going to take her a long time. It's usual for herself to bleed so much on either the first or second day but she made a mess of his toilet. Plus she's got bloody panties to try and get rid of the stains so Harry doesn't see those. She's going to ruin his washer, it was a new one she reckoned. But she got herself dressed decent first.
"Baby, you alright in there?" She heard Harry again, "what's taking so long? Talk to me."
"I'm fine Harry, don't worry." She called.
Oh he does need to worry, she was already feeling nauseous and dizzy.
"No you're still worrying me baby, I know you've passed out on me one time while you were on your period." He reminded, "can I come in? I promise it's fine."
"No, it's-" she hissed feeling like her insides are being ripped out, "- it's okay. I'm fine."
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
"Are you really sure?" He asked again as he could really hear her sobbing. "YN, I'm coming in now." He did not give her much time to pull herself together as he walked in. "What's wrong baby?" He found her cleaning her pants and knickers which just got ruined, clearly she was in a lot of pain.
"Hey, look at me." He held onto her wrists, "you look like you're in so much pain baby, let's get you to bed yeah?"
"But I need to clean-"
"Don't worry about that." He assured her, "come with me. It's okay, I promise."
"Let, let me wash my hands first."
He waited for her to wash up her hands before he walked her out to his bed, he tucked her in carefully.
"I'm going to get you some painkiller and something to eat and drink, okay?" He shared, "gimme five minutes." Placing a soft kiss on her cheek he jogged down stairs and came back quicker than he told her. He held a bunch of her favourite junk food, a bottle of water and painkillers.
"Harry, I need to wash up my clothes first."
"Don't worry, we'll just throw those into washer- separately if you wish. Just rest for now okay?" He assured her, "eat up before you take the medication. I'll go put up the sheets and your clothes in the washer."
"Wait, did I ruin your bedsheets." She started crying again, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Baby, it's okay. You can't control this. You don't have to stress about this." He assured her. "It'll come off in the washer, if not we'll buy a new one."
"I promise I'll buy you new ones, just throw those away." She panicked.
"It's alright, we don't need to throw them away." He kept reassuring her.
"It is going to ruin your washing machine!"
"Baby, honey, love, it's alright." He held onto both her hands, "look at me please?" And she obliged, "it's not going to ruin our washer, it's just a drop of blood, angel. I promise."
"No, you don't know, it, it broke one back, back at grandma's." She was having a full blown meltdown and a panic as she coked in between her rambling, yet she looked like she had no energy to even keep her eyes open.
"I'm sorry baby, but I am sure it wasn't because of that." Harry tried to be as calm as possible even though it made him furious. "I want you to lay down, or maybe take a nap yeah? I'm gonna go make us something to eat then we'll cuddle all day on the sofa and watch The Office again. We can eat these snacks later. How does that sound?"
"Mhmm." She nodded, "good."
"Okay, I love you!" He placed a delicate kiss on the corner of her mouth.
"I love you!" She squealed a little cry, as the corners of her mouth tugged down.
"No, no," he warned her softly, "take these meds now okay, I'll be up with breakfast in a few."
......................................................................
They did just what he decided on. Watched yet another re-run of The Office. YN practically laying on top of Harry curled up in a ball, dozing in an out of sleep. TV running on a super low volume.
"Baby?" He called, running his hand up and down her back.
"Hmm?"
"I don't know how to approach this, but, who told you that your stained clothes would break the washer?" He was just so confused.
"I did broke one, my aunty told me the one that broke, that broke back at her's was my, my fault," she was still sleepy but up to talk, "as she caught me washing my clothes in it."
"Well, that's clear bullshit you know?" He sighed, "it won't break anything. It's just blood. Tiny bit of blood. It's okay."
"Okay." She nodded sniffling, "I'm sorry, I've been having a hard time."
"I know, baby!" He placed a kiss on her temple, "you you can talk to me right?"
"Hmm." She sounded, "it's been very difficult, since, since you moved. I got used to seeing you everyday even if it was for five minutes. I don't want to be dependent on anyone, it just happened. You, you always calm me down and encourage me. I find it hard that we can't even talk on the phone."
"What if I tell you, I find it difficult to navigate life now too?" He suggested, "I've gotten so used to you spoiling me, making all these healthy foods and forcing me to explain you certain topics on a weekend. Quite frankly, I miss that a lot baby. You sure you don't want to move in with me yet?"
"Mhmm." She nodded again.
"Then we'll figure something out, to at least talk on a phone everyday, if we can't see each other in person." He made a plan, "we can face time and have dinner or lunch together. Or you can come over to my office if possible. It's not going to be easy but we can make it through, yeah?"
"Yeah, I like that idea." She agreed, "why did I bad to get into college so late! You graduated so early!"
He chuckled, "you got in at the right time for yourself, love, and I got out on right time. It's okay. You know we can get through this. Just three more semesters and then you're done."
"Please don't remind me!" She started crying again.
"No, no, no I'm sorry!" He cooed, "do you want to take a nap now?"
"Yeah, I'm sleepy."
"Gimme a kiss and we can go back our bedroom, it's more comfy there." He announced and she did. Lifting her head up she gave him a soft peck on his mouth before he was walking both of them back to the bedroom.
He made sure there was everything for her, a bottle of water, some dark chocolate bars, a hot water bag to help with her cramps and himself to cuddle beside her.
She's a bit sensitive, Harry had figured that out a long time ago but he's grown to love her.
"I'm sorry, I'm being little miss cry all day. I can't help it." She looked at him with a sad puppy face. But the choice of her words made him laugh softly.
"Where did you hear that? Little miss cry?"
"Don't laugh." She scoffed, "Beatrice has been teasing me all day, because I cried after messing up my presentation!"
"It's okay to mess up, you learn from your mistakes." He assured her, "and don't listen to her, she just likes to be mean to everyone. I love you. So much!"
"I love you!"
......................................................................
N O T E :
I almost had a little cuteness attack.
This was requested on Wattpad.
Pls lemme know how you liked this. You feedback really helps me keep motivated to write more.
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ellsieee · 1 year ago
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I'm really going to miss SWM despite the sad ending. The actors really did a great job with what they had and could do. I knew the accident was going to hurt me, and that it would be a OE, but I did not expect it to be more like a BE. More about that later. At least we got a whole episode of happy boys before all the shit hit the fan.
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This scene really touched me. Su Yu pushes Wu Bi to achieve his dreams and is there to support him all the way. We also get another hint of what Wu Bi's time capsule wish is. My guess is that he wished for he, Su Yu and Doudou to always be together. Normally it's Wu Bi who is always saying he doesn't want to be separated from Su Yu, but this time, it's Su Yu telling Wu Bi not to leave him, pulling on Wu Bi's heartstrings. 🥹
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Why does Wu Bi have a picture of his and Su Yu's epic bike ride framed? Did his mother draw that? Did he get the idea from her? Wu Bi, I have so many questions...
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Su Yu wrote a wish card for Wu Bi too. 🥹 I am not ok. 😭
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One last shout out to the shipper girl. She knows. 🤭 I'm glad they didn't write her as a crazy person, inserting herself into Wu Bi and Su Yu's relationship and doing a bunch of weird stuff to get them together.
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Arghhhh the foreshadowing! When Su Yu said that, my heart filled with dread even though I already knew what was coming. No. They're going to ride their bike together forever ok. 😭
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Wu Bi is so completely smitten with Su Yu. It's all heart eyes, all the time. They are so cute. Was this the reward Su Yu was talking about? I thought it would be something 🔞, but taking Wu Bi on a date might motivate him even more. I mean what kind of equestrian center has prince charming equestrian outfits? 🤭 I think they look great, but this totally looks like a date (Doudou is just there to make it look less gay).
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Wait a minute... that's not what the director demonstrated! I wanted to see that peck on the lips! Please tell me they shot two versions and we'll see the uncut version later. 🙏
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Psycho alert! 🚨 Mo Yi was hella creepy here. I was a bit scared he would actually hurt Su Yu. You can feel all the resentment he has for Su Yu. First his ex-gf wanted to be with Su Yu rather than him. Second, Wu Bi has chosen Su Yu over him and is acting like a little bitch towards him. Not defending him, but I honestly don't think Mo Yi would have felt such hatred and resentment if Wu Bi hadn't started being really rude and bratty towards him after falling in love with Su Yu.
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The ultimate sacrifice. 😭 Wu Bi knew there was no way to stop the car safely so he chose to protect Su Yu by crashing the car on the driver's side. Even though I knew the accident was going to happen, it still hurt so much. Wu Bi will always protect Su Yu no matter what. I read some comments scolding Su Yu for sleeping even though he knew something was wrong with the car. My interpretation is that Su Yu wasn't sleeping, he was worried too, but he trusted Wu Bi completely, and Wu Bi told him to rest because he can handle it, so he did. The level of trust and confidence you need to have in your partner for that is just...
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I didn't notice this the first time watching because I was too busy wailing, but Wu Bi hugged Su Yu to protect him. FUCK. 😭😭😭😭 For all the unreasonable jealousy and temper tantrums, Wu Bi really is the best boy.
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This is so painful, I can't screencap bloody Wu Bi anymore. It killed me that Wu Bi woke up for a second to stare into Su Yu's eyes when Doudou called to complete their OT3, only to fall into a comma again.
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Argh this ending! Is Wu Bi alive or dead? I didn't notice that the doctor nods a little when speaking to Su Yu the first time around. Doctors usually only nod when the operation was successful, so I guess Wu Bi is alive but what about the empty house? Only Wu Bi's stuff is still there, meaning that everyone left him? How is this not a BE? 😭
Of course this makes sense as a set up for a season 2 but I feel like they still could have given us a conclusion. Something like Wu Bi lives, but Su Yu left because he knew Mo Yi was crazy and he wanted to protect Wu Bi. Then the new season would be about how the boys find their way back to each other. It wasn't necessary to leave viewers hanging and heartbroken. 😢 And with 24 episodes of 30+ minutes runtime, I felt the team had enough time to tell a complete story. It shouldn't matter that book 1 of the novel ended like the series because the drama should stand on its own outside of the novel. Besides, wouldn't it have been safer just to film the whole thing at once to avoid the risk of not being allowed to film part 2?
There's a lot of doubt that S2 will actually happen, but someone asked Mo Yi's actor if there will be a 2nd season and he said that there should be. I'm not going to get my hopes up too much before there is official news that everyone is shooting again to spare myself any disappointment, but of course I am hoping for a second season. In the meantime, I hope cjd will release the uncut version of the series that she teased about before. I really do love this series so much even though I was disappointed with the ending. I'll have to treat SWM like MODC and skip the end. SWM only has 22 episodes. Yup. 🤡
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elektrischemaidchen · 15 days ago
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Lisztober #24: Betrayal & Resentment
Oh, dear. 31 days are a really long time, @franzliszt-official
BUT: WE WON’T QUIT!!!! WE'LL JUST KEEP GOING! UNTIL ALL OF YOU CAN'T STAND US ANY MORE!!!!! Does anyone remember the ‘Blind Singer’? <--- This!
(But thank you, to everyone who hasn't thrown the listening- towel after 24 days so far. Respect ;) Special cudos go out to our great label, which is still following the crap we're doing here, the colleagues from Jezibaba and Christian, the tireless fan of my other band, who obviously also has a big heart for our weird stuff. You have a very specific taste, very… commendable! ;) And the Romantikerhaus Jena hasn't blocked us yet either, which I see as a good sign. (Visit them! They are awesome!)
And: The opera ain‘t over until...well, you know...and that brings us straight to the subject. Wagner. Betrayal & Resentment. We can't get rid of him this month. But today’s song is not about the arsehead himself, but about Cosima.  Dealing with Cosima Wagner is like pulling teeth. You know what to expect. I really had to force myself to go through the biographies again and collect the best-of-root a second time.
The day before yesterday we had a whole other idea for a song ; more in your face, more hate. ‘Let's do Rammstein.“ Apart from the fact that we usually think Rammstein sucks ( aaaaand Christian is gone too ;)): No. The worst thing is always when Lacelove mimics me while with her headphones on. ‘Oh yeah, yeah, emotional and all that.’ You can see where the priorities are here ;) Here, in the preparation for the video:
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The fact, that the whole Wagner story makes you want to vomit: given. That Cosima's relationship with Wagner shook Liszt more than the death of Daniel and Blandine: Bad. That Cosima cheated on the sick Hans von Bülow with Wagner when the latter, in good faith, conducted Tristan for Richard: To be expected.  But then you re-read Lina Schmalhausen's report on how Liszt's last days went by... it really breaks your heart. (I had  already written about this on Wagner Day). And not just because it's Franz. Because it's simply inhuman shit that no one should have to go through.
Another example?
‘Since Cosima didn't want [Liszt's] body in the Villa Wahnfried, it was left in the Fröhlichs' house without further ado. [...] To make matters worse, the corpse began to decompose as a result of the midsummer heat [...] When Isolde became nauseous from the stench, the master of the house lost his patience.’
Did she really hate him so much? Because of what? Because of her childhood or because Wagner was constantly jealous of Liszt? Because the whole cult was really only centred on one god? It doesn't really matter. History will judge you. And even Wagnerians think Cosima is freaky. Manage that first.
Later, shortly before her death, the mentally deranged Cosima kept asking about Franz. She thought he was simply staying in Budapest. You just have to train yourself to forget. Or the dementia does it for you. Whatever, either way. So better remember this iconic and very authentic moment instead:
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There's so much disgusting calculation in Cosima's story, the thread runs through it that it's almost impossible to put into words. And It doesn't stop with Cosima. It continues with her children. And we won't even talk about the rest of the clan. Don't even get me started on Nazi-Winifred-. I don't have to - thank God! - not (anymore).
Good reads vs not so good reads.
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God, why do we want to visit Bayreuth in the first place?
She's still staring at you Motionless Her face iron While yours is waxy How long has she longed For this day? For the moment when No one mentions you anymore And she falls asleep smiling And dreams only this One dream Everything will be as she wants it to be There is no room for you in it She has often wondered how she can humiliate you The new day dawns only too slowly She loved to see you suffer Now you could see the world Through her eyes. And she falls asleep smiling And dreams only this One dream Everything will be as she wants it to be There is no room for you in it No room Every plea, every lament She has savoured most intimately And shed no tears You were nothing but Unnecessary ballast And secretly She... hated you And she falls asleep smiling And dreams only this One dream Everything will be as she wants it to be There is no room for you in it It was so easy To break your heart And also to take revenge on her husband Her new god She has chosen him herself And made sure That he never misses the mark And she falls asleep smiling And dreams only this One dream Everything will be as she wants it to be There is no room for you in it No room Her motherly love An ornament of German manners She loves it when the children Ask for punishments Her every word A sentence of faith She has no place For all the others
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aroaceconfessions · 2 years ago
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lol so idk if this is okay to talk about but ig we'll see if it gets uploaded or not
cw: the zaza
so i got high last night and i don't do it often but i took more than i had before so i got like really high, right? Anyways this is important because even though i was high, i didn't really change. Like obviously yes i know doing weed doesn't make you change into a whole different person, but people do things they normally wouldn't do because they aren't as level-minded and self-conscious (ig?). And I always think that im posing as aroace so i thought maybe if i was high i would idk ig be more like other people my age, yknow interested in sex and all those things. But i wasn't! And idk weird way to get affirmed and shit, but it made me feel more valid because yes i was more chatty, but i was still me even though i was high.
for example, for some reason my roommate brought up that she kissed my other roommate and I was like oh shit that's crazy, when? and we talked about it and i was like alright, man like cool story. And then they both turn to me and was like talking about how they haven't kissed me and I immediately without thought put both of my hands to my lips and was disgusted(?), scared maybe. Idk but I was so happy to be immediately repulsed by the idea because again it felt like I wasn't faking being aroace like how I usually feel. It finally felt like I was just being myself!
reading this over i sound like a dramatic idiot, but i just wanted to tell somebody because I was really happy about it :)
Submitted April 8, 2023
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elliot-woooooo · 2 years ago
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 Ophthalmologist Eddie
I was at the eye doctor and saw this one lady with curly hair that looked just like Eddies and I was like oml yes also, it's a modern au aswell
!! if the text is like this that means he is thinking btw !!
eddies pov
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I hate this job, I hate my workers, I hate my boss I hate- "we need you in room ten eddie." well not all my workers I guess "be there in a sec nance" a new customer, grea- "holy shit" eddie mumbled. I get to work for him?! hell yeah. "hello Mr. Harrington" the man nodded in response. how the hell is someone nodding hot?! "have you had any troubles recently?" "yes, I've had trouble reading recently because the words look blurry and move a little. I have also had trouble seeing screens and far away." holy shit he talks hot too. "okay so im going to need you to look here for me and open your eye wide" how the hell can he do everything so hot?!? "great next eye" he was off a little." is it okay if I move you a bit?" god that sounded weird "yeah" he has soft hair! how the hell is it so soft?!?"great now I need you to sit down right here." is that a- holy shit, no fucking way-he has a pride pin. victory! "okay put your chin here and press your forehead here" "great, so im going to need you to follow me." god how can one be this hot. "pick the glass frame you prefer, and ill be right back."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------holy shit "these are good thank you..im sorry I never got your name" "eddie" "thank you eddie" god him saying my name is so attractive "I like the glasses" god they are so ugly on everyone else except... him. let's get you checked out big boy" steve laughed he has a cute laugh
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"Eddie hurry up we're gonna be late!" "I'm looking for the key!" "eddie.. the key isn't even on that it's in your pocket." oh- "oh shit your right-" "is it surprising?" "fuck you." "my girlfriend already does" "and where is she?" "at the coffee shop. where she works. where we're going." "Lemmie guess... freckles? "well.. freckles are hot and you know it!" oh yeah..that one patent. "can't argue over that." he said shrugging "and eddie. I don't see a boyfriend anywhere." "I don't want one" "oh please I saw the way you looked at that patent." oh shit- "I can hook you up with robins friend." "I don't need your charity... donate to the poor?" "yeah why not ill ask to see a picture later and send it to you, ya weirdo." "oh how so kind."
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"hi robbie" nancy said giving "robbie" a kiss "hey eddie" "hey robin" "what do yall wanna have?" oh shit is she asking me? shit uh..- "we'll both have our usuals" thank fuck "alright cool"
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"so.. eddie." robin said when nancy when to the bathroom, "Steve told me about you" eddie choked on his drink. what. the. fuck. no fucking way "oh.." "oh!?! eddie nancy told me about how you looked at him and all you say is "oh"?!?" oh god.. "how do you even know steve?" "he's my best friend Eddie." "oh... what did he say?" "oh boy you better buckle up"
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It's been a week since robin told eddie and oh boy they have not stopped talking. robin tells eddie what steve likes and hates. eddie telling robin about what nancy loves about her most. they do not shut up, it's adorably annoying. eddie starts wearing eyeliner and mascara and he enjoys it. robin doesn't really change because nancy loves everything about robin.
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steves next appointment goes too well. eddie catches steve staring and smiling at him which makes him flutter up badly. steve strumbling over his words while blushing. and steve asked for eddies number "in case there is an emergency or something" which is a huge lie. after work eddie ran over to where robin worked and told her everything that steve didnt.
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otakween · 6 months ago
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One Pound Gospel - Volume 3
Another volume, another chill read. In the end, I haven't learned much about boxing or being a nun lol. The strengths of this series are the cute characters and nice art. It doesn't take itself too seriously.
Ch. 20
So far the formula for this manga has been: new opponent introduced, Kosaku struggles to prepare for his fight with said opponent, and Angela struggles with her desire to cheer Kosaku on. Rinse, repeat. I predict Takahashi will just cruise with this pattern until the final arc of the final volume lol. Very repetitive.
Lots of extremely dumb characters in this series. New kid doesn't seem to understand you're not supposed to go around punching people outside a match, for example. I get that they're trying to establish his character as a naive, spoiled brat, but if this was the real world it would be weird he keeps making the same mistake.
Ch. 21
Oh, I guess I misunderstood. Yoshihiko made a promise to his parents that he'd knock Kosaku out. I thought he meant in a match, but I guess he just has to knock him out in general lol.
It was funny seeing Kosaku through Yoshihiko' lens as a cool role model. He did look pretty cool blocking his punch at the end there.
Ch. 22
A very silly and pretty racist chapter. Kosaku's next opponent is Mexican, so of course his name is "Tako," he's a taco chef and they imply he's a dumb bumpkin. -sigh- At least his relationship with Kosaku is pretty wholesome? Them bonding over being Christians and Kosaku showing him his church was sweet.
Sister Angela agreed to that Christmas date so easily...I guess Kosaku didn't say the word "date," so maybe that made it easier
The weeping Mary joke was very similar to a joke made in Derry Girls lol
Ch. 23
Oh alright, they kinda won me over. The Spanish was actually pretty decent (in the version I'm reading anyways) and it was nice to see Kosaku make an effort to speak some too. Also, Xavier (Tako's real name) going from making tacos to takoyaki was a clever pun.
I guess opponents only get two chapters now? At least I won't get bored.
Ch. 24
I was thinking "everyone in this manga has the same hair" but then I just realized, they just don't have anime hair. They have realistic, Japanese hair lol. Funny how rare that is.
New girl is cute! That scene where they were vowing to diet together while stuffing their faces was adorable. I wish Kosaku would genuinely have platonic feelings for her instead of being his usual horndog self. Oh well.
Ch. 25
Gasp! Non-Barbie anatomy nudity! I guess that's to be expected tho considering Ranma 1/2.
Kana really has zero self preservation instincts lol. If only the real world was safe enough to act like that.
The misunderstanding stuff is annoying, but at least Sister Angela took the "acceptance" approach to thinking she's being cheated on instead of getting angry and making a huge thing out of it. That would have been tiring to read lol.
An abusive boyfriend being played for comedy feels...wrong.
Ch. 26
IDK if the reveal that Kana got her black eye from being smacked into a chip container was supposed to make things alright. Her boyfriend still hit her upside the head!
This whole arc has just been the misunderstanding trope over and over again. Nobody likes that trope.
Ch. 27
So Kana wants to go back to her abusive boyfriend which...okay, realistic. But Kosaku telling Hiroshi to make up with Kana is not good advice!! He should be telling him to leave her alone >:/ I watch too much true crime for this shit.
Kana's a real one to swing by the church and clear up the misunderstanding. We love to see clear communication.
Ch. 28
Damn, didn't expect the pregnancy announcement. And Kana's actually physically abusive too (in a slapstick way)...good luck to them, I guess.
Wait, this is the 2nd boxing match to end with pregnancy lol. I guess boxers get all the ladies.
Only one volume to go and not much has happened. My prediction for the final volume is that we'll get more one-off stories and then maybe it will end with Kosaku and Sister Angela's first kiss. We'll see!
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a-wendellandwild-fan · 2 years ago
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(Pre-Movie) Wendell and Wild headcanons #1
Kat.
My girl actually has a sweet tooth. Anything that's actually filled with sugar is the best.
She has insomnia due to the constant nightmares she gets from the accident. She reads or does other stuff to keep her distracted at night, until she passes out from exhaustion, usually from two to three hours.
After meeting Wendell and Wild, she talks to them through Bearzebulb or through her dreams. Hearing them talk about Dream Fair fills her with a weird sense of joy.
Somehow managed to be in "okay" terms with Buffalo Belzer. After she almost got killed by him, that is.
Introduced her favourite songs to the three demons and hasn't been a day without them asking her to replay some songs.
She wishes she's been there to see Father Bests get wacked on the head. Just saying.
She has her bad nights. Thankfully, she can hear Wendell sing to her while hugging Bearzebulb.
Raul.
The brick wasn't, in fact, loose.
He's the shortest king alive and Kat hypes on him for it. It became a joke between them.
Loves to draw Kat because, in his words, "she's pretty to draw".
He doesn't really have a favourite music genre. He just vibes with whatever starts playing on his phone.
Wishes he buried every single nun in that school when he had the freaking chance.
Somehow ended up being the school's "voice of reason" between his peers.
Once saw Wendell hanging in Kat's room but he's been having a hard time falling asleep so he said "Oh look a big cat" out loud. Kat remembers that beautiful moment every night.
Doesn't really talk to his parents anymore. Not like they used to before he came out to them, at least. He misses them, but knows better than trying to keep the bad people in his life. Just hoping things get better once he's out of that place.
Sister Helley.
Doesn't really have anything against demons. Just wishes people could cut her some slack.
She actually has a nice singing voice. It's really soothing and soft, so anyone can easily fall asleep if she started singing.
Her protective instincts are over the roof when it comes to Kat. She really thinks she's a sweet kiddo.
I don't really have much headcanon of her, so we'll have to wait until the movie comes out to make more!
Wild.
He's the eldest by, like, thirty minutes or so.
He's the sibling that resembles more like his father, except he actually has hair..
The poor thing used to be afraid for his brother's wings. When they were destroyed, there wasn't a night that he wouldn't stay up for him, keeping guard.
Actually learned how to make puppy eyes from Wendell. Best thing he learned so far.
Once stole everything from Walmart and has absolutely no regrets.
He's actually quite grateful for Wendell. He can't even imagine how boring life would be without him.
Wild thinks his brother deserves more attention. He's glad to see some humans seem to like him when they're in their respective human forms.
Wendell.
The lil shit memorized the whole "Cats" musical JUST to bother his father.
Hates his feet the most out of, well, everything. Doesn't really like anything from himself besides his tail.
He could talk for hours and hours to his brother about something he loves. And it always makes him happy how interested he is in his nonsense.
He didn't realised that he was really touched-starved until Wild and him comforted each other on one night they were feeling absolutely horrible. He doesn't remember crying that much before.
He doesn't really hate his father, he just wishes he was a better listener. Maybe resents him a bit.
He's the smartest brother, but loves being a goofball with his brother. He kinda loves not having thoughts—
Buffalo Belzer.
The man is an Elvis fan and ironically enough, one of his favourite song is "Love Me Tender".
Used to make his deep voice useful and in a playful tone to give his sons a "warning". After all, if they misbehaved, the tickle monster was going to get them.
People working for him can't really tell if he's a powerful demon, or actually one of the lowest ranks. Either way, that's a secret between him and his kids alone. And Satan, of course.
Actually terrified of human dolls. Nobody knows why.
His relationship with Helley is... Complicated. He's not afraid of her at all, but would rather not get on her bad side.
He's actually a really bad liar. Wendell and Wild usually take this to their advantage and make their father laugh.
Belzer loves belly rubs, no matter how small they are.
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candiedsour · 4 years ago
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How Genshin Impact characters would react to someone flirting with you || (Liyue)
Hello everyone! I apologize for the wait but I finally finished the Liyue version ٩( ᐛ )و I was originally supposed to divide it into 2 parts but then I decided against it ( ͡°³ ͡°). Part 3 will probably be uploaded in 3 days. But in the meantime, enjouy reading! o(〃^▽^〃)o
-E <3
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Zhongli ❌💸
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How he'd react to someone flirting with you really just depends on his mood
He doesn't really interfere because he knows you can handle it yourself
You two have had the person flirting with you pay or discount something you both bought on more than one occasion and he's not even ashamed of it
"Ah, my lady. Your beauty is simply etheral."
The shop owner said as you examined the jade.
You looked up from the Noctilucous Jade and met Zhongli's eyes. Completely ignoring the owner.
Zhongli's put the Jade onto the table and reached into his pouch for Mora.
Though, once he opened it; he grimaced. Once you saw his expression you realized that neither of you had enough Mora to pay for the Jade.
You cringed as you saw the amount of Mora in the pouch and looked back at the shop owner to apologize.
That was, before an idea clicked into your mind.
You then berought forth the most charming and flirtatious face you could muster and smiled at the shop owner.
"My deepest apologies Sir, but I don't think we'll be able to buy from you today. " You sighed.
The owner widened his eyes at your statement and quickly replied with
"Oh no, it's fine your can just pay any amount you have now and come back to pay for the rest! "
"Thank you so much Sir, I am forever in your debt for this. " You said as you grabbed his hands.
The owner was completely smothered by now, he had completely forgotten Zhongli's presence and was looking at you with completely entranced eyes.
If it wasn't for Zhongli's years of experience in concealing his expressions, he would probably be laughing out loud by now.
"That was quite the show my dear, I doubt that he would have noticed anything even if we had robbed his whole stall. "
Beidou 🏴‍☠️♀️
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Just like with Kaeya, no one would really flirt with you since they know about your relationship with the captain of The Crux unless they're clueless
And Beidou being Beidou, would not take shit from anyone. Clueless or not
If the other person is being persistent, she doesn't really mind throwing hands
"It's a shame that you have a lover, otherwise i'd have made you mine by now. " The creep said as he grabbed both of your hands.
You leaned backwards, trying to get away from the man. You desperately scanned the area for anyone who would help you.
You then met Beido's eyes with a look that clearly read "please help me".
Once she saw you, Beido walked over and tapped the man on the shoulder.
"She's mine, now let her go." She said as she glared at the man who was holding onto your hands.
"And if I don't?"
The person didn't even register anything before Beido's fist collided with his jaw.
"I ain't scared of fines, I'll fight whoever disrespects my partner"
Xiao 🔪👺
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Doesn't really care if the other person is flirting with you or not
If it gets to the point of harassment he will give them a whack with his polearm
He looks like he doesn't care about you but that's just because he knows who you're going back home with
"Would you like to accompany me on my travels, my fair lady? " The traveler said as he loaded his belongings onto his cart.
"I'd have to decline the offer. I already have a lover I am devoted to. " You said with a smile as you passed him the packed food you had bought from the inn.
Xiao watched you two from the distance, he sat on the balcony if the Inn as he waited for you to bid him farewell on his missions as well.
"Were you watching me? " You said you peek at him from behind.
"I was simply making sure he was not a dangerous individual. " Xiao replied, stotic as usual.
"Are you here to bid me goodbye?" He asked as he gazed at you.
"Goodbye? Oh no, I'm going with you! "
"Even though you are hundreds of years old does not mean you are invincible. Therefore, you should refrain from fighting recklessly. "
Xingqiu ⚔📚
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He usually just tells the person bothering you to back off, politely. Of course
Though, he doesn't really mind if the other person is rude or persistent; it's just an excuse for him to have a little 'fun' behind the scenes
If they're rude, they'll most likely find themselves having a number of minor inconveniences
"Sir, please let go of my partner." Xingqiu confronted the creep.
You quickly ran to his side. Not wanting to be near the man for a millisecond longer.
"And what's the pretty boy going to do to me?" He jabbed at the blue haired boy.
Although he was slightly irritated. Xingqiu paid no mind to him and walked you back to your house.
"Y/n do you recall the creep from yesterday afternoon? Yes, I received a notice that he is trying to buy brass for his stall. I convinced every merchant selling fish in Liyue to not sell him any, I also bought some brass. Would you like some? "
Chongyun ❄🍦
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He doesn't really like confronting people so he'd just make up an excuse to take you away from them
If the other person decides to be start an argument, he'd try to keep his cool. Not wanting to go into the manic state he usually gets into once his body overheats
Sadly, on more than one occasion; he has lost his cool and completely and ends up causing chaos to anyone who's unfortunate enough to be nearby
It's been at least a solid 15 minutes since the guy sitting next to you have been pestering you about going with him to the Lantern Rite festival.
And for what felt like the 30th time, you declined.
You really wanted this person gone before you meet up with Chongyun but he kept following you so you just plopped down somewhere on the stone ground.
Unfortunately for you, the other person did not take the cue for him to leave but instead; had taken it as an invitation to sit down and talk with you instead.
At some point, you considered kicking him in the face but refrainwd from doing so. But now, you're regretting that decision.
"Y/n! Me and Xingqiu were looking all over for you. " Chongyun said as he ran over to you two.
The guy looked surprised as the two boys walked over you where you were sitting.
"Who are these people? " He said. As if they were the ones invading into someone's personal space.
Chongyun instantly realised the situation and whispered something to Xingqiu. He then gave you the hand signal for "Run for it" And pointed to behind him.
Almost in a flash, all of you three started sprinting away, leaving behind a very confused person.
"Thank Rex Lapis we didn't actually get into a fight this time"
Hu Tao 👻🔥
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Whenever she sees someone flirting with you, she'd ask them about their health
She'd then weird them out by introducing her as the 77th director of Wangsheng funeral parlour
The person flirting with you would probably be very uncomfortable at this point and leave, but if they don't Hu Tao would hand then one of her buy 1 get 1 funeral coupons
"I simply cannot resist your beauty. " The man said as he leaned in closer to your face.
"Hello there good Sir! How is your health? " Hu Tao asked as she appeared seemingly out of nowhere and before you.
The man seemed confused at her question.
"Pardon? " He asked.
"Ah, I have forgotten that I have yet to introduce myself. Please call me Hu Tao. 77th director of the Wangsheng funeral parlour! " She introduced herself and took out her hand for him to shake.
He seemed a bit uncomfortable at the mention of funerals but nevertheless he ignored Hu Tao and went back to your conversation.
"What do you say to dinner at Wanmin Restaurant? " He pressed on, flat out ignoring Hu Tao's whole existence all together.
"Here's a coupon, it's buy one funeral, get one free. I hope I'll see you soon! " She said as she dragged you away. Leaving behind a very disturbed man.
"I should've said 'I hope to see you again businesses-wise. ' "
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hilahorizon · 2 years ago
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Nadja Bad? part 2 - WWDITS and Character Arcs
In my last post I explained what I see as Nadja's arc throughout the seasons, but I didn't touch on the main point of her detractors. Which is, that Nadja is given less emotional complexity and development than the other main characters, who are men.
This is a bit weird to me, mostly because, well, by season 3, it was pretty obvious to me that the only characters that have some kind of emotional development are Nandor and Guillermo. And really, it's mostly Guillermo.
Lazslo was essentially just the definition of hedonism throughout the show. Sure, he had his relationship with Colin, and he does have a scene or two a season where he talks about his childhood and trust issues, but it doesn't really seem like he's intent on working through those. The most Lazslo focused episode is the Jackie Daytona one, which was just incredibly stupid[compliment]. Only now, in season 4, he's shown any kind of growth, which is also not that much if you ask me.
Colin's main development was his reincarnation so, I'm not really sure that counts. He did try to find his origins in season 3, but gave up after a few failed attempts.
Nandor's main development was his existential crisis in season 3, which made him search for love. But in that regard he hasn't developed much since then, he's still looking for a romantic partner to fix all of his problems. The main thing that has changed in Nandor is his treatment of Guillermo, but that's a lot because Guillermo changed.
Guillermo really is the main character of the show. He's the only one who actually gets to be introspective and realize things about himself and change. And that makes sense because, the others generally don't need to. Most of the show consists of them fucking something up and getting away with it mostly consequences free, either because someone saves their ass(usually Guillermo) or because they're fucking vampires. They're huge immortal babies. And that's great! That's part of why the show is so fun.
And this is why it bothers me that people are saying that Nadja doesn't have an arc because like, none of the vampires do. At least, not more than her. So why is Nadja singled out as the bad character? Why is failing at running a nightclub inherently less deep and meaningful than failing at being a father or failing at being a husband?
And I do agree that it's a shame we didn't get to see her interact as much with the other characters, and that everything she did in the last 4 episodes was mainly about the club and not any kind of relationship, but I also think people are overestimating how emotional and relationship-focused the other characters' scenes were.
Lazslo had one scene of opening up to Colin. Guillermo and Nandor had maybe two conversations about their relationship. The rest was just dick wishes and child abuse.
And this is not me shitting on the show. I fucking love season 4 I can't stop thinking about it. But I'm also very much aware that the things I'm personally obsessed with, are probably mostly speculations, subtext or things that were completely unintentional.
I'm not trying to discourage you from being critical of season 4 and what it's done with the characters and Nadja in particular. I probably share many of your criticisms. But making these sweeping remarks about how the writers don't put any attention at all into her character arc and making her a shallow, screaming, power-hungry woman, while ignoring the shallowness of the other characters just reads, idk, a bit sexist, maybe?
Like, I get that the point is to call out the sexism, and there's probably some truth to that, but audiences have biases too. And I think that we're all so used to seeing female characters that are badly written, that even when a decent female character comes along we're not able to see her complexity, or call her out on things that we ignore in her male counterparts.
All that being said, I do hope we'll see more of Nadja other than her running the nightclub this season. But the thing is, I'm so sure we will that I really don't feel the need to complain that the episodes we've gotten so far are repetitive in that regard.
But again, we'll have to wait and see.
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geminil0vr · 4 years ago
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"lists" | ron b. weasley (part one)
read part two here !!
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summary; you and your boyfriend ron are both completely inexperienced, but one day he asks you what you like in bed. lucky for you, you actually made a list. and he's happy enough to play a few of those fantasies out.
tagged; @weasleyssupremacy
word count; 4.6k
content; smut, fluff, banter, making out, embarrassment, shit ton of blushing, mentions of kinks, mentions of teasing, mentions of hitting, mentions of choking, mentions of sex, mentions of praise, mentions of degradation, cursing, grinding, finger-sucking, spit, cum swallowing, first time foreplay (male receiving oral, female receiving oral), fingering, handjob kinda, orgasms, teaching/instructions, relatively realistic, no aftercare included but you know damn well ron'll take care of you, not really a specific dom/sub dynamic, inexperienced/house-neutral fem!reader, inexperienced boyfriend!ron, think that's it but lemme know if i forgot anything !
a/n; holy shit this took me hours !! in this fic, ron and the reader are sixteen years old. i'm from the uk, where the legal age of consent is sixteen — more specifically, in england, wales and northern ireland, a minor is considered a person under the age of eighteen. and i do not want to write smut about minors, i will never do that. so i did a little more research, standard wiki shite, and in scotland (where hogwarts is) that age is sixteen. sixteen year olds and up are no longer minors in scotland. i know many of you are from different countries and therefore may feel uncomfortable with this age because it doesn't reflect the definition of minor/non-minor in your respective countries, and that is perfectly okay !! i completely understand, hope this made sense bc i'm too fucking exhausted to tell. feel free to scroll by and find another fic to read, please put in a request for any of the harry potter characters if u wish, and have a lovely day :))
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you hadn't done much with him.
just kissing, really. some grinding here and there. you were comfortable in each other's grasp, sure, but you both never quite went over that line, of more than kissing, of more than light touching.
didn't make you insecure. nor impatient. it was a comfortable kind of middle ground.
and in that middle ground, you were seated on his thighs, legs either side of him, kissing gently, tenderly. these were tepid, lukewarm, waters, just bordering on more, just bordering on scalding hot, and you didn't mind it. you didn't mind it at all.
pulling back, lips not too swollen, just pink, you smiled softly down at ron weasley.
"you okay?" he asked. you hadn't meant to start kissing, you were just talking, just hanging out, him levitating a marble in his empty bedroom, you reading a book and making sure he didn't try and levitate a lamp — that never went well. not with ron weasley. but he got bored, and your eyes wouldn't focus on the pages, and you'd forgotten your reading glasses and he'd kissed you sweetly, and you'd kissed him back and now... now, you were snogging. you didn't care much for that word. it sounded weird, and heavy, and hot. and things with ron (so far, at least) weren't weighted, and hot, they were warm, and soft, and him.
you took the time to rifle your fingers through his red hair. he'd been letting it grow, just a little, down to the nape of his neck. "yeah, you?"
he grinned cheekily, nose and cheeks flushed already. of course, this was the usual. one kiss from you turned him pink, not out of awkwardness, just passion, you supposed. it was rather cute. and he pushed you further up in his lap, not too close, but closer. you grinned back. you kissed. and you pulled away again, just to look at him.
he took in a sharp breath, before blurting out something he’d wanted to ask for the longest time, "what do you like?"
"hmm?" you tilted your head.
he swallowed. “what do you like?"
"i'm gonna need some context here."
"in bed." now you felt as flushed as he looked. to ask that question, it must've taken a lot of courage. he was a gryffindor after all.
even starting a sentence caused your breathing to pick up. "well, you know i've never done anything before..." that was true. but you'd done your research. you'd actually made a list of what you thought you might like, which was idiotic in retrospect, and quite childish, but you'd done it, and it sat in your bag with a burning prescence.
"but surely you know... ya’ know, what you might like?"
you settled back, more comfortably in his lap, arms still around his neck, but you were less close. "why're you asking?" you teased.
"you know why!" ron groaned, burying his head into your shoulder, and he felt your shoulders shake with nervous laughter.
"well, i guess, i have — well... nevermind." he moved back, face burning, with an eager smile plastered on his face.
"go on, tell me! i want to know."
"it's embarrassing!"
"i won't make fun."
"yes, you absolutely will."
"won't."
"will."
"just tell me."
you swallowed and chewed nervously at your lip. "i've made a list."
"alright, tell me." if he said 'tell me' one more time you would strangle him. speaking of choking, and all that —
"promise you won't judge?"
"promise."
"well it's more of... well, it's not a mental list. i've written it down."
a grin broke out on your boyfriend's face, and you smacked his bicep.
"oi, you said you wouldn't judge!"
"i'm not judging! it's just cute, 's all." his smile faded a little. "so, about that list... why don't you go fetch it?" he said, with a sideways nod of his head.
"fetch? i'm not a dog."
he made the excited face he always had before he told a bad joke. for fucks sake. "aw, well, i figured pet play would be on your list —"
"shut up, shut up, shut up!" with each 'shut up' you punched his chest and he crossed his arms over it to protect himself.
"hitting, is that your kink too?" well, you weren’t exactly opposed.
you groaned and swung your leg over him, "i'm gonna go get my fucking list."
getting up and 'fetching' your bag, you searched through it and found your little, blue notepad. as soon as you'd returned to the four poster bed, ron reached out to grab it, and you quickly pulled back.
"no, i have more than just 'kinks' in there. and i don't wanna tell you everything."
"why not?" he was genuinely confused. that was the problem with these weasley boys: no boundaries.
"if i tell you everything about me then what secrets will i have left?"
"secrets are overrated." he stared blankly at you, shrugging, but still wrapped his arms around your waist comfortably as you swung your leg back over to sit on his thighs. as you flipped through the pages of the notepad, you found what you had been searching for. 27 pages in, hidden between random pencil scrawls, was your list. you'd learned about sex from books, and your friends' experiences, and being a sixteen year old at what is technically a boarding school. and though that wasn't the highest form of education, you knew enough to keep safe, and to feel good, and ron knew enough, too. "so, start reading!"
looking over the first line, your cheeks burned and you shook your head. "i can't say that!"
"want me to turn around?"
"no, i — no. i'm just gonna..." you slid all the way up his lap, ron attempting to ignore that you were right over his crotch in a pair of pretty blue jeans, and hid your face in the crook of his neck, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, embarrassed by your childish ways.
"c—" ron's voice broke, and you fought a smile, "comfy?"
"yeah. i'm ready now." you swallowed, breaths shallow and voice shaky as you brought your list up to your eyes. "um, well, i've heard about, uh —" he rubbed a hand up and down your back. you couldn't see him, but he was grinning and biting his tongue in anticipation. "pet play."
"you bloody liar, tell me the real list! don't be a pussy."
"fine, fine. no pet play. but i, uh, think choking sounds hot." your voice was slightly less shaky as you kept your flaming cheeks out of view. ron was bright red, too.
"uhuh. what next?" his voice was quiet and trembling now, grip on your waist tighter. the atmosphere of his dorm room had completely shifted.
"and, um, teasing. 's hot." your eyes flitted to the next word, trying to keep your composure as ron's grip on your waist tightened even more, keeping you still on top of him. "i like being praised, but being degraded is — it sounds... good."
ron had to fight the urge to groan, not out of frustration, but pure lust. you were by no means innocent, in fact, you tended to make a sex joke every day, or comment 'that's what she said' at every euphemism, but he never expected to hear those words actually slip from your lips. he couldn't speak, his voice got stuck in his throat, and he knew if he even tried his voice would break and go all high-pitched.
"then, hair pulling. hard sex, soft sex." both of your hearts were beating so fast, and you squeezed your legs against him. it was a nervous action, but you didn't expect him to let out a high gasp, and you certainly didn't expect him to grow firmer beneath you. "spanking, breeding, maybe, we'll see." he closed his eyes and let out a low exhale that he’d been holding in.
you pressed your hips harder down onto him, and his nails dug into your thighs. you'd been in this position before, while kissing, but this felt like pure filth, you telling him what you wanted him to do to you, and him just listening, and him getting hard. i mean, he'd been hard beneath you before, on top of you even, but it never led to anything more, and you didn't think you'd ever felt him this hard.
"i — i think i like biting. anywhere, really. not too hard. you have to be gentle with me." you had pulled back a little now, eyes still glued to your notepad, head turned a little so your lips were almost touching his ear. tentatively, you looked away. the tips of his ears were burning hot, and red. you took the lobe between your teeth, biting softly, tongue darting out just a little. his hips bucked up into yours, and you both moaned quietly. "and licking." you slid your tongue over his warm skin, just below his ear, then curved your spine to lick further over the expanse of his neck, causing him to let out another breathy moan.
"fuck..."
"and, spit. i think it's hot. i've thought about it, about you, before. i dunno." you kept your tone unsure, in hesitation. you had more on your list, just things you found hot, situations you found hot, but you closed it and pulled back, unwrapping your arms from around his neck and fiddling with the notepad between your fingers. that was enough, for now. ron was breathing heavily. you were breathing heavily. everything felt hot, and heavy, and it wasn't the norm, not with ron, but you liked it.
"th— that was... good. a good list." he choked, hands still on your thighs.
"yeah."
a tense silence settled between you, until he wrapped one arm around your waist, hand slipping up your back, the other in your hair, and brought you into a feverish kiss. you grinded down on him, moaning into his mouth feeling the reminder of how hard he was, chucking the list to the side and sliding your hands up his shirt as your tongues explored each other's mouths. it felt good. really good. better than you could have expected.
ron gently nibbled at your bottom lip, before pulling away and moving his focus to your neck. you tilted your head to the side, hurriedly moving your hair to the side to give him better access. he licked teasingly up your neck, and you dug crescent moons into his abdominal as he began sucking and biting at the skin beneath your ear, and your pulse point, and soon your collarbone, and before you knew it your sweater was pulled off and he sucked and licked against the skin right above your breasts. this was the first time he'd seen you without a top on, just in a plain, black bra, and he was damn well going to savour it.
you tried to hold back moans, but it seemed impossible when he was burning beneath you, so you did what was natural. you grinded against him and whined as he trailed wet kisses all over your chest, and after a while of you arching your chest into his mouth, you realised what he was doing.
your voice came out breathless, almost breaking. "you're teasing me."
he stopped his trail of kisses to move his face back to yours. "what, you thought i wasn't listening?"
"well, stop." you whined, scratching your nails over his abdomen once more, earning a shallow moan from him.
"i thought you liked it." he tilted his head, almost smirking.
you swiped your tongue over your bottom lip, chest heaving, as you took your hands from under his shirt. "just touch me. please." ron took a moment to take his own shirt off, and you admired the freckles dotted over his pale yet flushed chest and shoulders until he wrapped his arms around you, unhooking your bra clumsily, fingers shaking with lust. you gripped his shoulders, fingers gliding over each mole as your eyes darted over his features.
"so fucking pretty." he licked and kissed underneath your right breast, cupping the other one in his large hand, and your mouth dropped open, brows furrowed in pleasure as he took a nipple into his mouth, looking up at you as you grinded down onto him.
"ron, fuck, i'm too sensitive."
you watched him grin as he slowed his movements and instead licked softly once over your nipple as you threw your head back. you were the hottest thing he'd ever seen. well, he'd only ever seen his brother's porn magazines so there wasn't much competition. but he could say without a doubt that you were the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, your back arched, your head thrown back, your chest flushed. so pretty. but if he didn't speed things up he was sure he would cum in his jeans. you caught his lips in yours once more, struggling with the buckle on his jeans. you knew you wouldn't have sex, not today. but other things were always possible. that thought made your head spin with anxiety and need.
after a little while, you resorted to quickly tugging off your own jeans, ron doing the same, and soon you were back in the same position, except you could really feel him against you. you both looked down at the sight of you in your panties on top of him in his blue boxers, and both laughed breathlessly, kissing once more before you slid off and between his legs. if you'd stayed any longer, he might've felt how fucking wet you were.
"y/n..."
"it's okay, i want to do this. do you? we don't have to." he nodded his head, bottom lip between his teeth. "okay. just tell me what to do, okay? tell me what you like, ronnie."
‘ronnie’ didn't think he'd last that long when your hands were gripping at his thighs and you were on your knees, in only your underwear, between his legs. "okay. yeah."
you cautiously slipped down his underwear, pausing for a second as his flushed and red cock smacked up against his stomach. fuck, he was big, and already dripping precum. you were almost mesmerised with him before you remembered that he might be self conscious, so you proceeded to slip his underwear all the way off, throwing it off the side of the bed and coming closer to him, laying on your stomach and trailing a finger soothingly up and down his thigh. "so pretty." you teased, mimicking him from before, but as you looked up at his desperate face, mouth open, cheeks red, brows raised slightly, you decided that maybe teasing wasn't the best decision in that moment.
so, you wrapped a hand around his cock, feeling it twitch in your hand as ron moaned, head thrown back just like you had before. "that feels good."
"i haven't even done anything yet." you chuckled, looking up at him expectantly until his blue eyes met your own. "tell me what to do."
he gulped. "right, so you just wanna... make your hand wet. spit in your hand. you should like that." he couldn't believe he was saying this to you, or even joking in this moment, because right there, he was totally and utterly at your mercy.
you removed your hand from him, finding your mouth already salivating, and instead of licking your hand, you gathered your spit and let it drop from your tongue down onto it. he groaned as you looked up at him. fuck, he definitely wouldn't last long if you did more shit like that. taking your slick hand, you guided it up and down his cock, hesitantly dragging it over the tip, making him buck up into your hand and drip out even more precum. "fuck, uh... be careful with the tip. it's sensitive."
"sorry." he went to tell you not to apologise, but then you avoided going directly over the tip, collecting more of the precum, and the amount of spit and slick on your hand was creating lewd, wet sounds. if he tried to speak now, he’d probably just whine. testing the (now, scalding hot) waters, you dragged your tongue up his shaft, and he moaned even louder. he seemed to like that, so you did it again, and again, then put the tip in your mouth, pushing your lips down onto it until you got scared that your teeth would graze him.
"fuck, just like that, y/n, you’re so good."
seems he took more notes than you gave him credit for. or maybe this was natural? shit, is this how he spoke normally? he would drive you insane.
and how the fuck did people not use their teeth? at this point, you wanted to hear more of those beautiful sounds coming from your boyfriend's mouth, but also wanted to ask him. so you slowly took your mouth off, making him look down at you in concern.
"ron, how... i'm worried i'll use my teeth."
ron wasn't sure how to answer that, being just as inexperienced as you were, but he tried to use what he heard his friends talking about in the boys dorm.
"i think you just, try to wrap your lips down over your teeth. or you purse your lips. like an ice pop." you chuckled, and so did he. "i guess you have to make your tongue flat and then cover the top ones."
"okay, i'll try..." but before you went down again, he spoke once more.
"and, don't swallow the cum. doesn't taste great."
you nodded, and he watched you as you tried the technique, getting down even further, causing him to grip at your hair. he didn't push you down, just needed something to hold onto other than the bedsheets, that was all. and after all, you did quite like hair pulling. you moved his thick cock in and out of your mouth, wrapping your hands around the parts where your mouth couldn't reach, and looked up as ron's grip tightened on you. you didn't bother touching his balls — that was an experiment for another day.
"fuck, i'm gonna cum," you moved your mouth to just the tip, as more groans left his lips. "y/n, shit, don't swallow, just take your — fuck, take your mouth off."
you were stubborn. so stubborn in fact, that you kept suckling at the tip of his cock as he jerked up into your mouth, body freezing, as you swallowed load after load. you just wanted to please him. and thank merlin you'd done all those water (and to be honest, butterbeer) chugging competitions with lee, or you'd have been absolutely done for. he was right, it didn't taste good, at all. it was salty, and bitter, and as you took your mouth off him and let his slowly softening dick slap against his thigh, you almost winced at the flavour.
ron's chest was pink and flushed with perspiration, head thrown back against the headboard and eyes firmly closed, recovering. "fuck. told you."
"'s not the worst thing in the world. i'd do it again."
"don't say that or i'll get hard again." he reached for his boxers off the side of the bed, awkwardly slipping them on in a sitting position.
you chuckled, reaching to his bedside table to gulp down some water, head fuzzy and chest warm with the accomplishment of pleasing your boyfriend. he wiped a hand over his forehead, taking the glass out of your hand to take a big sip himself before putting it down.
"well, that was exhausting." he groaned.
"tell me about it. my bloody jaw hurts." you grinned, and he smiled back and rushed to peck you on the lips firmly, sending you to fall back against the covers as he hovered on top of you. "what're you doing?"
"don't think i'm done with you just yet." he grinned, but faltered. "unless you don't want to. i don't want to force you or anything, just tell me if —" you shut the clumsy boy up with another kiss, clasping your hands behind his neck and grabbing at his soft hair, wrapping your legs around his waist. you clenched around nothing as you felt his soft cock beneath his boxers against your soaked panties.
"it'd be my pleasure." you muttered against his lips. and he grinded into you once more before moving you so your head was against the headboard, and him between your legs.
"oh, how the turn tables, hmm?"
"shut it, loverboy." you shook your head, biting your lip and looking down at him as he trailed his nails down your inner thighs, making you arch your back a little. "and what did i say about teasing?"
"that it's hot." his crooked smile made your stomach clench.
"that you should stop." your complaints were ignored as the humour in the room dropped, and he looked at the wet patch seeping through your underwear. he seemed transfixed, swiping the pad of his thumb over it, before hooking his fingers into the waistband of your panties and pulling them off, tossing them to the side.
taking his middle finger, he swiped it through your soaked folds, making you whine. "you're dripping." his voice got much deeper, and his throat felt dry, but if he opened his mouth he was sure he'd drool. "did it turn you on, sucking..." he cleared his throat. "sucking my dick?"
you didn't reply, just bucked your hips up into his touch as he paused.
he pressed on. "so?"
"yes, it did." you were so desperate that you actually pouted your lips. seeing ron talk so dirty, despite his hesitance, was the second reason you were dripping. you didn't know he'd be like that. though you should've expected it.
but his shyness hadn't left just yet. "can you... can you tell me what to do?"
you tried to catch your breath, his finger was still over your clit, not firmly pressing, just there. you got distracted for a second, looking down and subtly pushing your hips up, before you bit your lip, swallowed, and met his eyes again. he seemed to be amused by that. "uh, so... you just get your fingers nice and wet, first."
it even surprised ron when he removed his finger from you, and held up his hand to your mouth. your breath hitched. "you're probably wet enough anyway, but go on, then. 's what you like, right?"
you nodded nervously, taking his wrist and putting three of his fingers into your mouth. you sucked them in, making sure to get enough drool all over 'em, before messily removing them and letting spit string down to your tits. ron watched it all, dick growing hard again. he was sure now. you would be the hottest thing he'd ever see in his entire life. you let go of his wrist as he let the rest of the spit drip onto your pussy, the air leaving you cold as he spread it around with his fingers, up your folds, circling your hole. the avoidance of your clit made you throw your head back, as he teased you. he knew exactly where the clit was, frankly, it was pretty clear to see, all red and swollen and big. he was doing this on purpose.
"please, ronnie." you whined.
"okay, okay. what next?"
"you need to touch my... my clit. and maybe put a finger in, but, be gentle, please?"
"you've never fingered yourself before?" his voice broke.
"i tried, just one, but, it's not really comfy when i do it. too tight. fingers aren't long enough, maybe. i don't know." you swallowed nervously. speaking about your personal sexual experiences was embarrassing. ron found it hot.
he took your advice, slick fingers brushing over your clit, then paying more attention to it, playing with it, even pinching it, turning you into a whimpering mess. figuring you were prepared enough, ron gently dragged his middle finger over to your hole. "gonna put a finger in, now. ready?"
"yeah, please."
you gasped and gripped his arm. he eased in slowly, and fuck, you were tight. you'd broken you hymen before, probably by either walking, riding your bike, or simply experimenting on yourself, so there was no resistance as he reached his finger all the way in, just a slight discomfort on your part. he almost began to start moving, but you tightened your grip. "just a second, ron. your finger's bigger than i'm used to." that sentence made him rut into the bed, as he followed your instruction and stayed still. your body relaxed, and he even felt you begin to unclench around him, your ridges less restricting. "it's okay now, you can — fuck."
he'd started sliding his finger in and out, slowly, as soon as you gave the 'okay', and this was definitely better than you could have ever done to yourself. you weren't sure you could come just from this, but you didn't care, it felt good. you'd heard one way to make it better, though.
"try curling up your finger — oh." if this boy could only give you a chance to breathe. that change in movement was hitting a spongey spot inside you that made you clench your thighs together, which he fixed by using his elbow to spread one, and his free hand to hold down the other. you brought one foot up to his back, needing some kind of stability. "you okay?" he asked, which was a loaded question considering that his thumb accidentally brushing over your clit made your entire body jerk, and you weren't just okay, you were bloody brilliant, the blinding pleasure bordering on pain.
"fuck, touch my clit, please." you moaned, head thrown back as he did as you said, making your entire body spasm. you were so close, so fucking close, and you practically rode his fingers as you thrashed up and down, tits bouncing. you were just about to tell him you were gonna come (though with you non-stop clenching around his one finger, it was pretty obvious) when he decided to try something, removing his thumb from your clit and instead sucking onto it.
he'd heard about eating girls out, and it was something he'd always wanted to do to you, to drive you crazy, and if he couldn't do it now he was going to at least include his mouth into some of the action. he wanted to taste you.
with this surprise, you came hard, the heel of your foot pressing into his back, his hand working hard to hold down your other thigh, stomach clenching and eyes rolling back. you were moaning so much and so loudly that you were glad almost everyone was out at hogsmeade. as you came down from your high, ron removed his lips from your clit and slowly removed his finger, your aftershocks trying to suck him back in. your back, forehead and chest were sweating, your entire mouth dry as your eyes stayed closed. ron rubbed his hands soothingly up your thighs as your body spasmed again, and brought himself up to kiss your forehead, a grin that you couldn't see playing at his lips. he wrapped his arms around you as you sighed and leaned into him.
"fuck." you sighed, opening your heavy eyes and glancing at ron who licked the rest of your cum off his fingers, looking up at the ceiling. you were still clenching around nothing. that was the hardest you'd ever came, even better than the showerhead — oh, ron would have an absolute riot if he knew you used the showerhead. "thank you."
he gave you that dumb fucking grin, the one he always had before making a bad joke. "orange you glad you read out that list?"
"shut up and kiss me. idiot."
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ificouldhelpyouforget · 2 years ago
Text
My Light in a Dark Place—BONUS: Aiko and Mirai Part Two
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MASTERLIST | MLDP MASTERLIST
A/N: And this is it! This whole story is done! I hope you look forward to whatever comes next out of my silly brain! Thanks so much for reading!
Chapter warnings: bullying (verbal more than physical), mention of underage sex, angst, mentions of sex, some language
Words: 10.4k
Aiko is in deep shit. Well, she thinks so. But maybe she's just being dramatic. Dreaming about her best friend is normal. Aiko can't count how many dreams she's had about him. Something tells her dreaming about kissing her best friend is not so normal.
It's so abnormal that Aiko has a hard time looking at Mirai in the morning. Out of desperation, Aiko goes to her mom for help.
"Mom? Can we talk?"
Yuki immediately smiles, skin aglow, despite the curious eyes looking between them. "Of course, sweetie."
"Can we walk on the beach?"
"Yes! Let's go." Yuki can tell this will be a serious conversation with the anxiety riddled fidgeting she recognizes all too well. She looks at her husband and kisses his cheek. "Don't wait for us to eat. We'll be back soon."
Mirai looks at Aiko. "Are you okay?"
"Y-Yeah." Flashes of her dream cross her mind. "I just need to talk to my mom."
"Come on, honey," Yuki says while taking Aiko's hand and leading her toward the ocean. She waits until they're strolling by the water's edge to say something. "What's wrong, Aiko?"
"Have you ever had dreams where you… kiss someone you know?"
"Of course. I think most of us have dreams like that."
"But what if you never thought of that person in that way?"
Yuki's lips turn up. "Do you have feelings for this person?"
"No, no. Definitely not… Well… I don't know." Aiko looks at her feet. "I've felt weird around them lately."
"What do you mean?"
'I feel kinda sick, but not really sick. But, like, I really look forward to seeing them even if I feel a little sick when I do."
"Is this person cute?"
"Yes? I mean, I'd go as far as calling them… well, hot. I've never thought that before."
Yuki touches Aiko's head and brushes back her pretty hair. "It sounds like you may have a crush on this person."
"A crush? There's no way. I've known Mirai for my whole life and-—oh, my God." Aiko covers her mouth, eyes wide.
"So, you had a dream about Mirai and don't know how to feel about it since he's your best friend?" Yuki raises her eyebrows at Aiko's flub.
"You weren't supposed to know it's him," Aiko says quietly.
"I knew it was Mirai already. And I know you." Yuki stops walking to hold her daughter's face in her hands. "Friends fall in love all the time, you know."
"I didn't say anything about love. I only had a dream about him. That doesn't mean I love him like that."
"Yet he makes you feel anxious and excited when he's around. You think he's attractive, too. It could be love!"
"Mom," she whines. "Be serious."
"I am. You've been interested in watching Mirai this vacation and you're gravitating more toward him than usual. All signs lead to you feeling something special for him. Trust me. I've seen all of this from the outside."
"But… But it's Mirai! I've never thought of him like this or had a dream where I kissed him. It doesn't make sense why I'm suddenly feeling like this around him."
"Mirai is a sweet boy and treats you well. You're growing up, and your body is creating new feelings for you to figure out. They're making you see Mirai in a new light. And that's okay."
Aiko sighs. "What if… What if he thinks it's weird that I might have… feelings for him?"
"Oh, sweetie, Mirai won't think that at all. You know how he is. He'll be your friend and hey, maybe he feels the same way about you."
"No way," Aiko says. "He is way out of my league have any sort of crush on me."
"You never know unless you talk to him about it."
"I guess… Do you think I should? Talk to him, I mean."
Yuki takes her daughter's hand again and starts walking. "I encourage you to talk with Mirai about your feelings. The two of you are open with each other about everything, right? This should be no different. You don't have to do it today, but talk to him soon. Okay?"
"I think I have to talk to him today, Mom. I can't be normal around him with that dream in my head."
"Will you be okay if your friendship changes then? Who's to say what he feels? If he likes you and you're liking him that way, too, you might start dating. Are you okay with that?"
She thinks on it for a second, kicking a broken shell with her toes. "I don't want him to feel like something with me will be like what he had with Yue."
"He will never think that about you, Aiko. You're the one who helped him get away from that. If anything, he trusts you completely."
The memory of Mirai telling her that their first night at the beach reiterates what her mom says. "You're probably right."
Suddenly, Yuki wraps her arms around Aiko and holds her close. "I know this will be hard to figure out since you two are such close friends, but I think you'll be okay. Always be open and honest no matter what."
"I know, Mama," Aiko mutters. "I know. Um, thanks for talking it out with me. I hope it helps."
"It will. I'm sure of it."
Aiko steps out of her mom's hug and awkwardly rubs her arm. "I guess… I guess I'm going to go talk to Mirai now."
"Go ahead. I'm sure he's curious why you called me out here."
She smiles a little. "Probably," she says, before she jogs back toward the condos.
Once more, all eyes are on her when she walks in slightly out of breath. Aiko sits next Mirai. She quietly thanks Nejire after she gives her a plate of food before digging in.
"Are you really okay?" Mirai asks, watching her shove her breakfast into her mouth.
Nodding, Aiko glances at him. But she quickly goes back to eating, trying to catch up to how much he's eaten. She wants to get the talk over with or else she might explode from all the things her mom explained to her. A crush on her best friend? She looks at him again. Well, he looks pretty handsome with his messy hair and casual clothes for a day of doing nothing. Her food no longer appeals to her as her stomach flips a few times. Aiko sets her utensils down and forces herself to swallow what's in her mouth.
Mirai's eyebrow raises at the sudden change. "You're not acting yourself."
Hana sighs loudly, eyes not drifting away from her phone as she eats. "Maybe she likes you, Mirai. You're making her nervous."
"Hana," Aiko warns. "Don't say things like that. You don't know anything. You're always looking at your stupid phone."
"Aiko," Mirai says quietly, hand touching her shoulder.
Hana's eyes shoot up and meet her sister's hard stare. "I don't need to look up from it to know you have a stupid crush."
"Hana," Tamaki says, voice stern. "Aiko. Don't fight during breakfast."
Aiko drops her fork and stands up. "I'm finished." And she walks back outside, past her mom who is confused to see Aiko stomping away.
"What's wrong?"
"Ask my stupid sister!" Aiko doesn't stop walking away, barely looking at Yuki to answer her.
Mirai rushes out of the door next, nearly running into Yuki.
"What happened, Mirai?"
"Aiko and Hana started arguing and Aiko left."
"What about?"
He glances at Aiko's retreating figure. "It doesn't matter."
"It looks like it does to you," Yuki says. "Go follow her and make sure she's okay. I'll talk with Hana."
Mirai nods and jogs after Aiko, catching up to her fast. He doesn't expect to see tears rolling down her cheeks when she looks at him.
"Aiko," he says, reaching out to wipe the tears away, but she steps back. "I'm sorry."
Aiko scoffs and rolls her eyes. "Why are you sorry for something you didn't do? It's my sister's fault for being annoying."
"I'm sorry because you're upset." Mirai goes to wipe her tears again, and she doesn't dodge him this time. "I hate seeing you like this."
"Yeah, well, maybe I wouldn't be upset if I didn't have a sister."
"Don't say that. You love Hana and she loves you. You'd be sad without her."
Her eyes study Mirai's face as he clears the last of her tears away and smiles at her. Predictably, her stomach flips. 
"So, what's going on in your head, hm? You seem closed off or something. Is it because of what you talked to your mom about?"
"S-Sorta."
"Okay… Sorta doesn't explain anything, but if that's all you can get out, that's okay. But know that I'm here for you and will listen to anything you need to say."
That damned smile he gives her every time he's trying to be helpful but is sad he won't truly understand what's going on makes Aiko panic. She rarely keeps anything from him and this really should be no different.
"I want you to know, Mir. I just don't know how to talk about it."
"Okay, um, when did you start thinking about it?"
She looks down and then at the condos in the distance. "When we were all at the beach on our first day."
"Really?" he says.
A nod when she looks at him again. "It sorta came out of nowhere. I'm honestly trying to understand it and figure out where I stand with it."
"What is it?"
"Well… I'm having feelings I've never had before."
Mirai blinks a few times, heart beating faster. "What kind of feelings?"
"Possibly… romantic. Mom thinks they are and I'm not sure if I disagree with her… I even had a dream about it…"
"Can I ask who you think you have feelings for?"
Instantly, Aiko looks away from Mirai, closing her eyes and taking a slow deep breath. "Um… there's a possibility that I… that I might have some feelings for, well, for you, Mirai. I don't know what to do about it…"
"Aiko." His voice is soft and silently asking her to look at him, but Mirai doesn't force her. He's content knowing that she's listening. It's enough. "It's okay if you feel that way about me because… I've felt that way about you for a long time."
Eyes wide, Aiko's gaze shoots to meet his. "W-What?"
"I like you, Aiko. I have for as long as I can remember."
"But… you're you and I'm… I'm me."
He chuckles. "So?"
"There is no way you like me. You're so… perfect. I'm not at all."
"Maybe you don't think you are, but I think so."
Aiko covers her mouth as it hangs open the longer she looks at her best friend. The flipping of her stomach has only gotten worse and her heart is seconds from exploding out of her chest. "There's no way… You were with Yue—“
"Not for any reason other than I found her cute, and she was interested in me. Was it smart? No, not when I didn't really like her. I liked the idea of dating her though. It's different with you, Aiko."
"But you've… you've never said anything about it to me!"
"If I had, would you share my feelings, genuinely, if you had them?"
"I-I… I don't know," she says.
Mirai smiles at her. "I wanted you to find those feelings on your own."
"And if I hadn't?"
"You never would have known I had any for you," he says shrugging. "I wasn't about to burden you with my feelings if you had none."
It's such a Mirai thing to say and all it does is make Aiko feel so heartbroken for her best friend. No one should have to hide what they feel because they don't want someone else to feel burdened by it. Would it have been easy to deal with? No, but at least his feelings would be out there.
"So… what do we do now?"
"What do you mean?"
That you like me and I, well, I clearly feel something for you."
His smile widens. "Nothing has to happen. You're not completely sure, right? You need time. Take that time. We'll just be who we always have been."
"It won't be awkward?"
"Nah. Not unless we make it. Seriously, we're still best friends no matter what and we'll keep being this way. When and if you figure out your feelings, we can go from there."
Aiko looks up at Mirai, both hands now tucked in the pockets of her shorts. "I don't deserve you, Mir."
"You deserve a whole hell of a lot more than me, Aiko."
Aiko sighs as she and Mirai walk up to U.A.'s entrance for the first time that school year. "I can't believe this is our last year coming to this school together," she says.
The two years they get together isn't enough knowing that for an entire year, Mirai will start hero work and she'll still be stuck in school. Of course, they'll see each other after work and school, but it'll be so different from before.
"Maybe you'll get to do patrols your third year with the agency I end up at," Mirai says. "Then we'll be around each other as often as we are now."
She stares up at him. "Do you think I'm good enough to do patrols with an agency that wants you?"
"Definitely. Your Quirk is a lot more powerful than mine. You harness the power of the fucking sun. Any agency will want you working with them."
Neither of them have discussed what happened during vacation since returning home, acting as if nothing happened at all. Mirai treats Aiko just like he always has and Aiko does as well. The month Aiko had to understand exactly what she feels for Mirai proved to be helpful.
She absolutely has feelings for him.
But she has yet to mention it. It's not because she's afraid, but because she can't form the right words to tell him. Mirai hasn't pushed for a response either and she couldn't be more thankful for that.
"Thanks for the confidence boost, Mir."
"Anytime, Sunshine," he says. "We have a little time before classes start… Wanna grab some breakfast from the cafeteria?"
"Sure. I bet Hiroto is there, so we can say hi to him."
Mirai smiles despite the sense of dread that tries creeping up his spine. He knows Aiko has never liked Hiroto as more than a friend, but sometimes he wonders.
Unlucky for him, Aiko notices the slight change in his expression and knows exactly what he's thinking.
"I don't like him," she says quietly, not quite meeting Mirai's eyes. "He's just a friend."
Her words weirdly help and remind him she harbors some feelings for him even if they haven't spoken of them since she shyly told him what her dream was about that triggered her panic that day they talked. 
"I know," he smiles. "Come on."
Their walk is peaceful, no need for talking until Mirai holds the door open for her and she thanks him. Everything shatters when there's the familiar screech of Mirai's name from Yue's lips.
He sighs. "I forgot she's back this year."
Aiko doesn't hesitate to stand in front of Mirai when Yue comes bounding over to him intending to hug her ex.
"Aw, little Aiko is being all protective over you," Yue coos.
"It's okay, Aiko," Mirai says, hand on her shoulder.
"How was your summer, Mirai?"
"Um, good. I spent a lot of time with Aiko and our families. We went to an island together for a few weeks. It was nice."
Yue glances at Aiko for a split second. "That sounds like fun. Find any cute guys out there, Aiko?"
"Just one," she says without missing a beat.
Mirai's face instantly gets hot.
"Ooh, did anything happen or did you chicken out?"
"Nothing happened then. Dunno about now though."
Yue tilts her head, one cat ear twitching. "What do you mean? Is he here? He goes to UA?"
"Yeah, but you and I are not really friends, so I don't see why it's your business."
"I'm just curious. It's not that Midoriya guy is it?"
Aiko frowns. "Why do people think I like Hiroto like that? We're friends."
"Doesn't stop most people."
"Yue, we were really hoping to enjoy some breakfast alone, so if you'll excuse us, we're gonna go eat."
"Ugh, really? Okay, fine. I guess I'll see you in class, Mirai. Good luck with that boy, Aiko!" Yue walks out with her head held high.
"She still wants to date you," Aiko says. "It's the only reason she's being bearable."
"Doesn't matter if she does. I don't want to date her again. I was told by someone really important to me that Yue doesn't deserve me."
"I mean… your friend is not wrong."
His lips pull back to show off his teeth. "Yeah… I sure as hell don't deserve someone like my friend."
She shrugs and sends him a half smile. "She says the same thing about you."
"I guess we’re made for each other then."
A laugh. "You're such a flirt, Mir."
"Only when you're around, Sunshine."
Faces reddened and smiles wide, the two look at each other as if there's no one else around. That's the moment Aiko accepts she likes her best friend very much.
Rarely does Aiko visit Mirai at his dorm simply because he's always dropping her off or picking her up from hers. He's always there. But Aiko decided that morning to spend time with him at his place.
In the lobby of his floor, the two friends sit beside each other watching a TV show they're catching up on. Aiko is snug against his side with her head on his shoulder while Mirai has his arm around her waist. Sitting together like that isn't new for them, but the feelings between them make it feel like a new territory of their relationship.
Aiko's barely watching the show, her attention solely on Mirai's thumb making gentle circles against her side. Each circle he completes, her belly turns over. She has to tell him.
"Hey, Mirai?" Her voice is quiet, and she doesn't lift her head to look at him.
"Hmm? What's up?"
A pause. Aiko hides her face against his chest and mutters what's on her mind.
He laughs lightly. "How about you try again because I didn't catch that, Sunshine."
She does and only a couple of words register.
"What?" By then, his smile has slipped away at the realization of her sudden shy demeanor.
Aiko groans and lifts her head just enough for her to say, "I think I really like you." Then she hides against him once more.
"You think?"
She nods.
"Really?"
Another nod.
Mirai hugs her to himself and kisses the top of her head ever so softly. "That makes me so happy, Aiko. You're sure?"
"Y-Yeah…" she says, pressing her ear to his chest to hear his heart racing. "Is that… okay?"
A laugh tumbles from his lips as he hugs her again. "Of course, it is. It's… It's all I've ever wanted."
"That can't be true," Aiko says, finally looking up at Mirai. "There are plenty of things you'd want before me."
"No," Mirai says, slowly brushing some of Aiko's hair behind her ear. "Maybe I thought that when I was younger, but now… I can't imagine having a good life without you in it."
Much to her disgust, her skin glows from his sweet words, a slight pink hue incorporated within the light. She groans at her lack of control and immediately shuts down her Quirk. "Stupid Quirk…"
Her best friend chuckles and pokes the end of her nose. "It's nothing to be ashamed about, Aiko. Actually, it helps me know you liked what I said because I was so nervous to say that."
"You're never nervous."
"Only when I'm with you."
Despite her stomach flip flopping, Aiko smiles. "You're so cheesy, Mir."
Mirai returns her smile, eyes glancing at her lips for a split second. "I can't help it. You're just so… cute."
"Stop," she whines, covering her face with one of her hands.
"Hey." Mirai gently pulls her hand from her face, a soft smile settled on his lips when Aiko shyly looks at him. "So, what do you want to do?"
"About?"
"About this. Us."
Her face flushes. "W-What do you want to do?"
He laughs a little. "Well, to be honest with you… I think going on a date with you is a good start. If that's something you want to do, too."
"Um, sure."
"You're so shy now," Mirai laughs. "It's just me."
"Yeah, I know, but… I've never dated anyone before."
"It's not too different from how we are now, actually. Just a few more things added in."
"Like kissing, right?"
Now Mirai blushes. "I mean, that's just one, um, perk."
"Do you want to do that, too?"
Again, his eyes go to her lips, but that time, Aiko feels her face heat fast.
"Only if you're okay with it."
"No, don't… don't say that. What do you want, Mir?"
He watches her gaze jump between his eyes. "I want to kiss you."
Aiko hums for a second before hiding against him once more.
"Eventually, Aiko. I want to kiss you, eventually. I don't have to right this second." Mirai glances around the empty lobby. "Anyone can walk in anyway."
She nods, still not lifting her head. 
"Wanna go get some coffee or something as our first official date?"
"Right now?" Aiko says, turning her head just enough to peek at him.
"Why not? It'll be fun."
"Okay. But I need to make myself look prettier."
Mirai makes Aiko look at him, both hands cupping her facing. "That's impossible. You're stunning just as you are, Sunshine."
"But—“
"Nope." He makes them both stand and take her hand. "Let's go then."
Aiko has nothing more to say as she's tugged behind Mirai, a bright grin lighting up his face every time he looks back at her. That moment is when she realizes how happy she has made her best friend with her admittance of the feelings churning in her chest. She swells with pride.
"Mom?"
Yuki looks up from her phone to see Aiko standing in the hall outside her bedroom. "What's wrong, sweet pea?"
Aiko shuffles over and sits at the other end of the couch, pulling her knees to her chin. "So… Mirai and I went on some dates recently and… and I don't know when I can call him my boyfriend."
The day Aiko came home for the weekend and announced that she and Mirai started dating, Yuki kept a glow about her skin the rest of the day. Poor Tamaki could barely sleep with the way she latched onto him when she finally drifted off after they had a sweet night together once they were alone. Her oldest is falling in love with someone she approves of for Aiko. What mother wouldn't be happy?
"Has he asked you to be his girlfriend yet?"
She shakes her head.
"Bring it up to him if you want to be together. You do, right?"
"Yeah… Mirai's really sweet. Well, sweeter than usual."
Yuki turns to face her daughter, tucking her feet under her. "So, you really like Mirai, huh?"
"I thought it would be harder to accept liking my best friend… but he makes it really easy to like him more. And he's still my best friend."
"Mirai is a respectful young man, and he is so in love with you. He won't do anything to ruin your friendship. He's one of the good ones."
"I know…"
Suddenly, Yuki's phone goes off and she picks it up, a curious look on her face when she looks at the caller ID. "It's a bit late to be calling, isn't it?"
Aiko tilts her head to one side, only hearing her mom's side of the conversation. It is extremely late for a phone call. Aiko wonders who it is.
"I don't mind as long as you behave." Yuki pauses and then hums. "Hurry up then, sweetie." She ends the call.
"Who was that?" Aiko asks.
"Someone trying to reach you. Maybe you should go let him in."
Her heart lurches, but Aiko gets up and rushes over to the front door. As soon as she opens it, Mirai stops pacing in front of her, looking up at her with a shy smile.
"Hey."
"H-Hi. What are you doing here so late?" She peeks behind her to find her mom disappearing into her bedroom where Tamaki is already sleeping.
"Can we talk?"
"Um, yeah. Come on. We can talk in my room."
The two meander into Aiko's room where she shuts the door behind them and waits for Mirai to speak. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong. I just can't sleep."
She chuckles. "I think that would be considered 'something wrong,' Mirai."
"Do you want to be my girlfriend?" It's rushed, but Aiko's reddening face tells Mirai that she still heard him.
But she laughs instead of answering.
"Ouch?"
"No, no! I'm not laughing at you, Mir. I just… I just talked to my mom about when it's okay to call you my boyfriend."
"Really?!"
"Yeah."
Mirai smiles. "I guess we should have talked to each other earlier, huh?"
"I guess so," Aiko says, hugging herself. "Okay, so… is this happening then?"
"I want it to. Do you?"
"Yeah."
"Great!"
"Should we do something or are we just… together now?"
He laughs and shrugs. "Yue kissed me when we made it official. But… we don't need to do that. We can just be us and—“
"But what if we do?"
Mirai blinks. And then it clicks. "You really don't like her, do you?"
"She made you have sex with her when you didn’t want to. Of course, I don't like her."
"Are you suggesting we kiss because I mentioned her?"
"No," Aiko says, gaze hard. "I don't care about her."
"So, you want to kiss me then?"
"I guess…"
Mirai smiles at Aiko who is making herself small in front of him. "It's okay to admit it, you know. I want to kiss you, too."
"I've never… never kissed someone before."
"It's no different from kissing someone's cheek. Well, other than the other person kissing you back at the same time."
"M-Maybe I'm asking too much then…"
"There's no pressure, Aiko. I'm happy to show up at school on Monday and tell everyone that you're my girlfriend. No kissing needed."
Aiko's eyes are wide and watery, lips turned down. She looks a bit like a puppy begging to him.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought up kissing if I wasn't ready…"
There's no hesitation when Mirai steps forward to wrap Aiko up in a hug. "Don't apologize for that. I'm excited and happy to call you my girlfriend. Kissing can wait however long you need."
She nods against his chest. "Okay. Thanks, Mirai."
"It's my pleasure. Think you can get some sleep now?"
"Only if you stay with me."
 "Whatever you want, Sunshine. I'm here."
As Aiko is finishing up her Quirk practice hours after school ended, a furious shout sounds across the field. Unsurprisingly, she finds Yue sprinting at her, cat ears lying flat, with more shouts spilling from her mouth.
"You bitch!" Yue screams in Aiko's face.
She sighs. "What is it now, Yue?"
"You're dating Mirai! What the hell?!"
"So?"
"He's not supposed to like you."
Aiko huffs. "Joke's on you, Yue. He's apparently liked me since we were little."
"Of course," Yue says, cat-like eyes taking in Aiko's sweaty figure. "I can't believe he wants someone so… plain. He could do so much better."
 "There's no reason you should be so nasty to me, Yue. You pressured him into something he didn't want and he broke up with you. That's on you. Not me. I don't decide things for him."
"But you influence them. He didn't want to break up until you took him away for some party or whatever. It was your fault he didn't want to be with me anymore."
Aiko rolls her eyes and begins walking toward the locker room. "Did you ever notice how uncomfortable he was around you? Because my best friend was shutting down when you were around him and I noticed. I only helped him get away from a bad situation, a situation that you kept him in. Everything that happened is on you."
Yue growls and suddenly tackles Aiko to the ground, one hand holding her ponytail in the dirt so Aiko can't lift her head. Yue's knees pin Aiko's hands as she leans over Aiko with her pointed fangs showing.
"Get off me!" Aiko shouts, kicking her feet and trying to lift her waist to knock Yue off her. It doesn't work.
"You are going to stop dating Mirai or I'm gonna make something bad happen to him." Yue takes the long nail of her index finger and traces one side of Aiko's face before pressing it into her cheek and dragging it down her throat, blood slowly seeping into the fine cut. "That is only a taste of what I'll do to him, Little Aiko."
"You're not going to touch him," Aiko growls, unbothered by the sting on her skin. "Over my dead body."
A sick look crosses her face as she grins down at Aiko. "That can be arranged."
"Get. Off. Me. Or you'll regret it."
"Aw. Are you gonna start shining to blind me? It won't work."
At that point, using the energy she has left, Aiko focuses an intense heat in her body. "You know nothing of what I can do, Yue."
Suddenly, Yue shrieks and leaps off Aiko. "What the fuck?!" There are holes in the knees of her leggings. "What did you do?"
"I asked you to get off of me and you didn't. I can do a whole lot more than glow."
"You burned me!"
"You attacked me."
"And I'll do it again!"
Aiko stands, ready to defend herself if she has to, but knowing she's too exhausted to last. There's no way she can manifest any balls of light, but she has enough energy to block any hits from Yue and burn her more. All Yue has to do is make contact with Aiko and she can singe something else on Yue.
"Are you trying to get expelled now?" Aiko asks, hoping she can avoid a fight.
"I don't care as long as I take you out with me."
"Don't do this, Yue."
"Break up with Mirai."
"I'm not going to do that."
"Then you're going to regret it."
Aiko's stance widens as Yue brings out her claws. They are seconds from a fight when Aiko's name is called across the way.
Mirai waves for a second before realizing that Yue is there and what was about to happen. He runs over to Yue, immediately noticing the long scratch down her face and neck.
"What the hell, Yue?"
Yue stands straight, clasping her hands behind her. "She started it, Mirai. I only wanted to talk to her, but she flipped out and told me to stay away from you."
"She's lying," Aiko states, eyes steady on Yue. "She wants me to break up with you."
"Liar!"
Mirai frowns. "Stop acting this way, Yue. You're going to get in trouble."
"You immediately take her side?"
"Well… she is my best friend and my girlfriend. I know Aiko."
"What about me?" she whines. "You really know me, right?"
"Shut up, Yue!"
Mirai touches Aiko's shoulder to keep her from running toward Yue. "Let's just go, Aiko. Please. Don't fight her."
"I don't want to fight her, but she won't leave me alone. I need to get my stuff from the locker room."
"Go get what you need. I'll keep her from bothering you."
"Be careful. I won't take long."
"Where do you think you're going?"
"Yue," Mirai says, "don't do this. I'm not worth fighting over. We're over and you don't have a claim on me. You need to move on, Yue. You're only hurting yourself."
Yue looks away from Aiko as she rushes inside to pout at Mirai. "But we should still be together. I miss you."
"I'm sorry you feel that way, but we're not together anymore and won’t be again. You need to accept that."
"I won't. She stole you from me."
"Aiko didn't do anything except get me out of an unpleasant situation. You… You can't treat people like how you treated me. I didn't… want to sleep with you. I didn’t love you and couldn’t keep stringing you along. That's why we broke up."
"Because you're in love with her. 
It's what you told me!"
He sighs. "Not quite. I didn't know how to tell you I felt… useless after that night. Maybe if I didn't come over, we wouldn't be here."
"But you'd still love her."
"I won't ever stop loving Aiko. Even if she breaks up with me and falls in love with someone else, I won't stop loving her." Mirai ruffles his hair and glances at the ground. "Aiko is my world and always has been. Honestly, I expect any relationship I end up in that isn't with her won't last because she comes first. Always."
Yue scowls. "That's unhealthy."
He scoffs. "And what you're doing isn't? Here's the difference between us, Yue: I will let her go no matter how hard it is just so she is happy. I don't care if I wind up alone as long as Aiko is happy and is taken care of. Why can't you be happy for me?"
"Because I should be with you! We looked so good together. I was finally being noticed."
"Yue, I don't want to be with someone who uses me to boost their status. I deserve better than that."
"You think she's better than me?"
"Yes," Mirai says. "Aiko doesn't care about that kind of stuff. She cares about me."
"But I do care about you!" By then, Yue is on her knees with big pouty eyes and lips. "I do, Mirai. Please."
"Go home, Yue, and leave Aiko alone. If you care about me, you'll stop acting like this and let me be happy."
Aiko comes running out of the lock room with her civilian clothes haphazardly thrown onto her body. Her eyes are wide and determined, but soften seeing the sad state of Yue.
"Go home," Mirai repeats to the girl at his feet, her bottom lip trembling. "If you don't leave us alone, I'll make sure you get transferred to another school and never see us again. I'd like to be friends one day, but not until you leave us alone." He reaches for Aiko's hand when she comes near, eyes meeting her curious ones. "Come on. We're late for dinner."
The last look Aiko takes of Yue almost makes her feel bad. The girl curls in on herself and sobs into her hands, all sense of confidence and worth shattered by what Mirai said. But the watery glare she gets a second later reminds Aiko that Yue won’t let it go easily.
Sitting on the toilet lid in Mirai's bathroom at his parents' house, Aiko winces when his gentle fingers dab a peroxide-soaked first-aid pad against the welted scratch down her neck.
"I'm sorry she did this to you," Mirai says again, brow furrowed. "I can't believe she attacked you."
Aiko lets out a deep exhale, chin up to let Mirai clean the scratch. "Stop apologizing, Mir. It's not your fault."
"It's because of me she came after you."
"She's mad at me for 'taking you away from her.' Just because you two dated doesn't make this your fault. I'm okay."
He's quiet for a moment as he carefully rubs a salve along the scratch. "Were you going to fight her?"
"Not if I could avoid it. She attacked when I used too much of my Quirk after training, so there wouldn't have been much fighting on my part. I was going to defend myself though."
"I'm glad I showed up when I did then." Mirai finishes up and starts cleaning up the trash. "I'm going to talk to the headmaster about this. She's putting you in danger."
"I'm okay, I swear. I'm not worried about her."
"If I didn't get there in time, what would she have done to you?"
"It doesn't matter now," Aiko says as she stands and leaves the room to curl up on Mirai's bed. His hoodie she's borrowing makes her look smaller than normal.
"Your neck—!" Mirai stops himself when he notices her shoulders shake. "Aiko…" he coos before crawling in behind her to hug her close to his front. "Tell me what's wrong."
"I-I-I don't know," she says, voice hitching.
"You're upset."
Aiko pulls the hood over her head and curls up more.
Mirai squeezes her tighter. “I’m sorry,” he says softly, his face pressed against her shoulder blade. "What happened was a lot, yeah?"
She shrugs and sniffles.
"Is it more than Yue bothering you?"
A pause.
"I was… exhausted, and she wanted to fight," Aiko says with a quiet voice. "I felt helpless when she tackled me… and then I heard what you were saying… about me before I came back outside..."
"It overwhelmed you."
"It was a lot to take in."
"I’m sorry, Aiko,” he says, tucking his chin atop her shoulder. 
She sniffles again, but clutches his arms around her. “You hold me too high in your life, Mir… I would hate for you to be unhappy because of me.”
“Aiko,” he starts, taking a deep breath before continuing, “you would have never known how I felt if your feelings hadn’t changed. I was completely okay to stay as best friends. I might have been upset if you chose to be with someone who isn’t me, but I honestly expected it. Even now, if you decide that this, us, isn’t what you want, I’ll accept it.”
“But… why, Mirai?”
"Well… you have been my everything for as long as I can remember. I've always wanted to protect you when you need it or comfort you when you're hurting. It feels like I've had feelings for you ever since I was old enough to understand how special you are to me."
"That sounds really… serious." Throwing out the big l-word seems too much.
"Yeah… I've known how I felt for a long time and it's been several years of me really understanding just how important you are in my life and I never want to lose you. But… I always remind myself that I can't make you share my feelings. I don't want to make you do anything. Even now, I know you might find someone who suits you a hell of a lot better than me. Because I can't bear to lose you, I'll let you go and still be a friend."
"What if we don't work out and it's a nasty breakup?"
"We won't let it end badly. We'll talk and be on the same page," Mirai says, kissing the back of her head. "You don't want our friendship to end, right?"
She shakes her head vigorously. "Never."
"Then we'll be okay no matter what."
Aiko awkwardly turns around to face Mirai, closing her eyes for the few seconds he wipes away her tears.
"Hey, Sunshine," he says with a gentle smile. "You don't need to worry. You are my world and I'll do so much just to see you happy. I want to make you happy even if it's at the expense of my happiness."
"Mir," Aiko says, a soft exhalation from her lips, seconds before she closes the gap between them and kisses Mirai.
Her inexperience makes it short, but Mirai's heart still finds its way up into his throat.
"I want to make you happy, too." The way her lips brush against his as she speaks has them both shaking. "You are too good for me, but I'm glad we're here. Right now. I… I don't want to be with anyone else."
This time, Mirai presses his lips to hers and cups one side of her face. He pulls away to look her in the eyes. "You are too good for me, you know. I'm going to be the kind of man who will be everything you need and then some. You deserve that. I'm in this until you don't want me anymore."
"Oh, Mirai," Aiko says, one corner of her mouth lifting. "I will always want you."
"Like this? Together?"
She nods, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth. "Who knows… one day I might even love you."
Mirai chuckles, relieved to see a smile back on her face. "You already do. Don't deny it."
"I guess you are my best friend…"
"Ouch," he laughs. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised. You hardly reacted after you kissed me."
She blinks. "Oh, right."
Another laugh. "Did you even realize it?"
"Yes! It just seemed… normal. Like we always have."
"That's a good sign," Mirai says, cheeks turning pink.
"Did it feel that way for you?"
"Um… I kinda felt like my heart was gonna explode. That's pretty embarrassing to admit."
"Aw, really?" Aiko grins and bites her bottom lip again. "I guess we should kiss more often, so your heart gets used to it."
"You're going to kill me," he says, hiding his face in her pillow. "I'm never going to recover."
Aiko pokes the top of his ear. "You don't think it's too soon, do you? I don't want you to feel pressured into it."
"I don't," he says, turning to look at her again. "I think it's perfect timing for us."
"Yeah… I'm relieved it doesn't feel awkward."
"I'm glad it doesn't. That would be really sad." Mirai brushes some of Aiko's hair from her face. "But I'd suggest doing it more often to make it less awkward."
"Cheeky," Aiko says, before she plants a loud kiss on his lips. She giggles at the goofy smile on his face and how his ears are turning red to match his face.
"I hope you know I will not stop kissing you every chance I get."
"What's stopping you now?"
He laughs again and takes the invitation to meet her lips with his, leaving several quick kisses just to hear her giggle. 
"Thank you, Mirai, for making me feel better," Aiko says when he stops making her laugh.
"I'm always here for you, Sunshine."
To say Mirai and Aiko stayed together the rest of their lives is sadly a lie.
The day after graduation, Mirai was asked to travel to Europe for an unknown amount of time, part of his first big assignment at his agency. He took it after a lot of thought.
But the couple didn't give up on each other.
He moved. They talked daily. Then weekly… monthly… every now and then. A year in and they couldn't keep up with being so far apart. Both of them cried over it, but they agreed it was for the best. Communication between each other became next to nothing, both busy with their respective agencies.
Aiko dated here and there for a few years until she ultimately decided that her heart wasn't in it. Although she and Mirai agreed to live their lives as they wanted, she sent her heart off with him. Little did she know, Mirai did the same, also having little success in his dating life.
Years went by and the void slowly filled in their hearts, but never felt complete. So often, Aiko would lie in the middle of her living room floor and cry over the years lost. 
Far too often, Hana or Yuki would come over to find her in such a state, never truly realizing how broken her heart was. Aiko wasn't aware of it either. Not until the day her family and Mirai's family met up to celebrate Mirai's birthday like every year even though he wasn't there.
"Aiko!" Nejire says, pulling her into a tight hug. "You get more and more beautiful every day."
"Thanks," she says. "It's nice to see you guys again. It's been too long."
"Since last year, I think."
Yuki walks over. "It's been that long? We need to fix that. We used to see each other almost daily when we first met."
"Why don't we try weekly dinners?"
"I think we can do that. We can make plans after we call Mirai."
Aiko swallows. 
At the last celebration, Aiko was late because of hero work and missed the video call with Mirai. It devastated her. It had been too long since she got to see him last or hear his voice. For being best friends, they rarely get time to catch up.
"Ah! He should call soon! Let's get the phone set up so we can all see him."
With a heavy heart, Aiko sits beside Tamaki and rests her cheek on his shoulder. Her favorite thing about her dad is how they don't need to speak for him to understand what's going on. In her growth, Aiko found the reason her mom fell so in love with him. He always knows what those around him need by observing.
Tamaki rubs Aiko's back and presses a soft kiss to her head. Since the day Mirai left, he's felt his eldest daughter's pain. He's watched the light in her eyes diminish, worsening when she and Mirai broke up. It's not a sight a parent wants to see in their child when there used to be so much happiness.
Mirio comes over and places the tripod with his phone in front of Aiko with a smile. "Let's get this birthday party started."
Aiko doesn't like the camera being in front of her. It reflects all her sadness. Hana sits beside Aiko and looks a thousand times happier. Her mom and Nejire both touch her shoulders as if comforting Aiko. She hates it. Has it been obvious all these years?
The phone rings and Aiko jumps, staring at Mirai's name. Mirio answers the video call before Aiko has the chance to prepare herself.
A chorus of "happy birthday" surrounds Aiko, her lips barely moving to wish her best friend good fortune for the next year.
Mirai laughs. "Thank you guys!"
"I cannot believe my handsome son is 30 years old now," Nejire says as she fakes her tears. "When did you get so old?"
"That's the beauty of time, I guess." Mirai's smile softens. "Hey, Sunshine. It's been too long."
Aiko's heart aches from the nickname. She hasn't heard it in so long. "It has," she says. "You look… exhausted."
He laughs. "I've had a ton to do and I haven't been sleeping well lately."
Yuki leans in. "You need your sleep, sweetie! You better get yourself into bed as soon as you get home."
"I will, once I get my bed set up."
"Did you get a new one?" Mirio asks.
"No. Work had me move somewhere else this week, so I'm still trying to get settled."
Aiko tilts her head. "You moved again? Were you in the last place for even a year?"
"Work always has me moving, and I moved at least twice since we last talked." The heavy unsaid length of time hangs between them, a reminder that time passes way too fast.
For a few more minutes, they chatter on, Aiko getting quieter as time goes on. How is she supposed to talk to her best friend who became her first love, first kiss, first lover, first everything, when it's been at least two years since they last spoke? Any second she feels like all of her pent-up emotions will burst through the walls she's built and with it will come the truth of how destroyed she's been since their break up will come to light. It's almost too much.
"I'm gonna have to let you guys go," Mirai says as he clearly parks his car that he was driving. "I have something going on today and I just got here."
Nejire pouts. "Call us after?"
"It'll be pretty late, I think."
“That’s okay. We’ll wait up for you.”
“Okay. Call you later, Mom.”
The screen goes dark.
Aiko feels her whole body key up and then hot tears start rolling down her cheeks. That’s when she remembers why she and Mirai hardly talk anymore. Each time the conversation ends, her entire world starts collapsing all over again. But never has it happened in front of her family.
“Oh, honey,” Yuki says, immediately wrapping her daughter in her arms and letting Aiko sob into her. “It’ll be okay, Aiko. It’ll be okay.”
Hana reaches out to take Aiko’s hand, almost jumping from the grip her sister has, as if she’s going to fall from a great height.
Nejire immediately tears up and pets Aiko’s head. “I’m so sorry, sweetie. I didn’t know it was still so hard for you…”
“I… I miss him so much,” Aiko says into her mom’s shoulder before looking up at Yuki. “Why is there still a hole in my chest when it’s been years? Why?”
Even Tamaki and Mirio are getting choked up; Tamaki more so being that his daughter is breaking down over a lost love.
Yuki calmly wipes away Aiko’s tears knowing that more are going to fall in their place. “Because he’s been with you since the beginning and became the love of your life. I’d even say he’s your soulmate, Aiko.”
Nejire and Hana nod vigorously, but don’t speak.
“If he’s my soulmate, then why did he have to leave me?”
“No amount of distance or time can keep soulmates from each other. Your daddy and I found each other. We’re soulmates, too. He’ll come back to you, honey. Or you’ll go to him.”
“I don’t want my heart to hurt anymore, Mom…” Aiko closes her eyes as another bout of sobs fill her chest. “I never asked to be in this much pain.”
"It won't be forever, sweetie. I promise. Sometimes you can't be with who you love all the time, but when it's meant to be, love finds a way."
"I… I need to leave. I'm sorry." Aiko quickly wipes her face and stands, getting out of the hold of her mom. "I really am sorry. I didn't know I'd react this way."
"Aiko," Nejire starts, "does Mirai know how much you're hurting?"
"It doesn't matter, not when he's living the dream he wants. I can't take him away from that. I'll just have to ignore how I feel." Aiko takes a few steps backward, intending to say a last goodbye, but she's stopped when she backs into something. 
She completely misses the little smiles that grow on everyone's face when she turns her head to see what she ran into. Her brain doesn't quite register who she backed into.
"You know, hiding how you feel doesn't end well most of the time, Sunshine," Mirai says, lips turned up and eyes glassy from what he overheard.
"M-M… Mirai?"
"Yeah. Surprise!"
"But you… just moved somewhere else?”
“Here. For good. I’m not moving anymore. I’m home again.”
Aiko blinks back more tears, but it doesn’t work. “You’re really back? I’m not hallucinating?”
“You’re not,” Mirai says, taking a step closer to wipe her tears away for her. “I’m here. I missed you so much, Aiko.”
“I missed you, too,” she says, her chest getting tight and face scrunching up as yet another round of sobs start. “I’m sorry we stopped talking for so long. I didn’t mean for it to happen.”
“It’s not your fault. We both got busy.”
With tears pouring down her face no matter how many times Mirai tries wiping them away, Aiko’s lips turn up just slightly. “I love you so much, Mir. It hurt so bad being so far away from you.”
“I know. I felt the same way.”
Aiko cradles one of his hands on her face. She closes her eyes. The warmth from his hands is proof he’s really there, standing in front of her and not thousands of miles away anymore. The moment she’s dreamt of far too often is happening right in front of her. Mirai is home again.
“Aiko?”
She hums, eyes opening to stare into Mirai’s eyes.
“Let’s go somewhere. Maybe we can get dinner. Just us.”
“But your birthday—”
“I want to spend the rest of my birthday with you. To catch up.”
“Okay,” Aiko says in a breathless whisper. “You’re sure?”
Mirai glances over at their family watching. They’re silent with anticipation. “Yes, let’s just go,” he whispers. “They’ll be fine. It’s my birthday.” Mirai leans in close to her, his breath fanning across her lips, but he doesn't kiss her. “And I only want to be with you, Aiko.”
Her lips part, the feeling of him so close after so much time apart is intoxicating. It's almost too much for her heart to handle. "Let's order in."
His eyes darken, and his cheeks turn a little pink. "If that's what you want."
"Are you moved in yet?" Aiko is almost embarrassed by the erratic beating of her heart. This feels so impulsive for their relationship, whatever it may be now.
"No," he says. "My stuff is still on its way here."
"You can stay with… with me if you want… after we eat."
"I'd like that." Mirai's eyes shift to her lips, but he nods toward their families. "Let's go." 
They get halfway to his car before Aiko stops him.
"Mirai."
He looks at Aiko seriously.
"Can we go back to how we were? Before you left?"
Mirai smiles as if he's the sun. "I'd like that, but we're not the kids we were back then."
"I-I know. I don't care if it'll be different from high school. I just can't go on another second without you, Mir. I can't do it."
"We don't have to be apart anymore, Sunshine. I'm here to stay."
"Kiss me. Please."
"In front of them?" Mirai nods toward the others watching.
"Please."
So, he does. A hand cradles the back of her head, fingers tangling in her hair. His smiling lips crash upon hers and immediately work her lips open to deepen their kiss. Aiko presses herself against him with a satisfied moan the moment his tongue enters her mouth. Mirai grunts for her ears only when her hands sneak under his shirt just so she can dig her nails into his lower back, causing him to press closer to her.
Mirai has to pull away, but not without a few gentle kisses to her already puffy lips. "We need to go before something happens in front of everyone in this park."
She nods vigorously. "Please. Let's go."
The two hardly see the knowing smiles on their mothers' faces, the mortified gaze on her father's face, the proud look on his father's face, and the fake gag her sister acts out as they climb into Mirio's car and head to her apartment.
Yuki watches them go. "It seems like they're going to be just fine now."
"He's going to… to sleep with our daughter," Tamaki says, appalled at his wife's calm demeanor.
"I'm pretty sure that happened before he left."
"What?!"
Nejire laughs. "You didn't know?"
"They were… too young."
"They were in love, Tama," Yuki says. "Just like you and me. Like Mirio and Nejire. It's okay."
"I swear if I become an aunt…" Hana groans.
"We're leaving," Tamaki says, standing and walking away. Hana quickly gets up to follow.
"He really hates the idea of his eldest daughter growing up, huh?" Mirio chuckles. "I've never seen him act like this."
"He just wants to keep our first baby safe even though she's old enough to take care of herself." Yuki gathers up a few things to head out. "He fears she'll end up in a situation like the one I was in. Mirai will take care of her well, and he knows that, but it still worries him. It'll be no different when Hana finds herself in a relationship."
"Mirai loves Aiko more than anything," Nejire says. "She's the reason he came home. They're meant to be."
Mirai walks out of Aiko's bathroom and sees her sitting cross-legged on her bed in his shirt, scrolling through her social media. He watches her go to her profile and pause on the photo she posted after they parked at her place, his lips pressed to her temple. She looked so happy when they took it.
He plops down next to her, his lips instantly attaching to the soft exposed skin of her shoulder. A grin slides onto his face when she leans into him.
"Do you need to shower?"
"No. I'll be fine." Aiko sets her phone aside and turns to him. "I'm glad you're home, Mir."
"I am, too. Being with you is the best birthday and welcome home gift I could ask for."
"It has nothing to do with sex, right?"
His cheeks turn a deep red as the memory of what happened as soon as they got to her apartment clouds his mind. "I didn't come back here for that, although it's certainly a perk. I love you… and missed you."
"I missed you, too. So much."
"But I'm home now." Mirai wraps his arms around her. "I'm not leaving again. Being without you for that long was the worst time of my life."
"They'll ask you to travel again, though. That's what your agency does."
"Not if I marry you."
A long pause.
"You want to… but you just got back? We've barely gotten back together."
"Do you not want to? I won't ask you if you aren't interested. I know a lot of people aren't getting married anymore. That's okay with me if that's what you want."
Aiko suddenly laughs. "Mirai, I'm only saying we haven't gotten to know each other as we are now." Her lips meet his shortly. "I'd be crazy to not marry you, but can we wait long enough to relearn who we are together? I don't… I don't want us to fall apart."
"No, no, I understand and that's a good idea. I love how smart you are about this stuff. I'm hopeless without you."
"I'm hopeless without you," she says. 
Mirai scratches his neck and looks at the bedspread. "Do you want to pause having sex then?"
"No. Definitely not. Not after… that." Aiko licks her lips, biting down on her bottom one, and puts some hair behind her ear. "No one's ever made me do that."
"It was pretty sexy." Mirai glances down at himself and flushes. "Maybe we shouldn't talk about this right now."
Aiko also looks down at him and shrugs. "Or we could do something about it."
He feels it and she sees it.
"Okay, but I need a few minutes," he says. "I might look ready, but… but I'm not."
Aiko nods before curling up against Mirai, gazing up at him sweetly. "Cuddle with me then? I've missed your hugs."
"Happily." Mirai lies down with her held in his arms. "What did you do to recharge while I was gone?"
"I hugged Dad a lot, or I went over to see Uncle Kiri's son and cuddled him until he whined to be let go. I managed, but nothing worked as well as this right here."
Mirai's lips connect with the top of her head. "I love you. I'm sorry I had to leave you for so long."
"It's okay. I understood why you had to go."
"I almost quit right there in the airport when I heard you crying into your dad. I didn't want to leave you."
"You needed to though. I would have been more upset if you turned down something that good just for me."
"There's a lot I would do for you, you know. I would have said I couldn't go anymore if you asked me to stay."
"I know. It's why I never asked because I knew you'd listen."
With a sigh, Mirai squeezes Aiko. "Well, I'm home now. We don't have to worry about it again."
"If we get married though, right?"
"I mean, yeah. I'm not accepting anymore jobs that take me away from you no matter how long it takes for us to get married."
Aiko looks at Mirai, eyes wide and curious. "If you were going to ask… do you have a ring?"
He kisses her before standing and digging through his pants tossed onto the floor. He comes back with a small velvet box and passes it to Aiko.
Carefully, she opens it to find a gorgeous teardrop-shaped sapphire ring on a silver band. Aiko looks up at him to see the gem matches his eyes perfectly.
"It's beautiful, Mir."
"You can have it. It's meant for you. You can wear it like any other ring if you want. I don't mind. It's yours."
"When did you get it?" Aiko slowly takes it out of the box and slips it onto her left ring finger.
"A few weeks before we broke up. I wanted to fly you out to me. I was going to take you around the city, take you to dinner… all of it. Then I was going to ask you to marry me. I knew the distance was hard, but I wanted to reassure you that there was no one else. But… I got busier and then we broke up. I couldn't let it go though. I hoped you'd wait for me."
"Yes."
"What?" Mirai raises an eyebrow.
"I said yes."
"To…?"
Aiko rolls her eyes before pressing her lips to his. "Yes, I'll marry you." She spoke against his lips and then pulled him into a passionate open-mouthed kiss, her hand with the ring sliding into his hair at the back of his head.
Mirai wastes no time turning her onto her back, leaning over her with glittering eyes. "God, I love you so much, Aiko."
"I love you, too, Mirai."
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whenyoulosesmallmind · 3 years ago
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would you like to share some songs you associate with your favourite characters and why?
part one (you are here!) | part two
okay, anon, anon, my dear my lovely anon, you've gotta know that giving my most loved their own little soundtrack is one of my favourite things to do - so, buckle up! that said, since at the moment i have a huge transformers themed brainrot, this will be mostly in reference to my crack au in perpetual progress, but hold up for some unrelated special mentions! (i wanted to do them, but then it got too long, sorry ;w;)
let's start with an odd one: i first started plotting the au up with viva la vida on loop - not my usual kind of music and it doesn't have much to do anymore with the au per se, but it's a fun throwback
TARN, he's a fun one to pick music for, because in my mind he has a specific vibe that is a mix of an actually tragic character and the most stupidly comedic villain so his picks are all scattered over the place. anyway, he gets: 1. votre toast je peux vous le rendre (sang by a proper baritone this time!); obvious stand in for the empyrean suite is obvious, i love to imagine he'd listen to it and think he's cool like escamillo (bestie, you are josè at best <3), it plays right in into all of his delusions imho, 2. stars; people who pick the phantom of the opera as thee tarn theatre musical song i will personally fistfight you. THE lawful evil song - also tarn does parallel nice to javert, if you ask me, 3. tu grillo parlante; you're such a learned man / but that kind of violence / you so often speak of / we're feeling it deep inside / its sold in all the shops in the city / you should buy some, too / you'll see that you'll need it - local man preaches shit he's got all wrong, what will he do next? 4. video killed the radio star; man is so anchored to a vision of the world is blind to see how shit's changed, refuses to admits his own faults, 5. grace kelly/bathtube mermaid (i love both, i can't honestly choose); he’s worn himself so thin, a persona after the other, they’re all bleeding into each other - who are you, tarn, beside your desire to please? bonus track: Tarn & Kaon as il gatto e la volpe; second obligatory pinocchio reference but cmon: you won't regret it / we discover new talents and we're never wrong / we'll be able to make the most of your talents [...] you were so lucky to meet us / he's the cat and i'm the fox, we're a company (?) / you can trust us!, if nothing because imagining tarn and kaon as a couple of talent scouts of serial killers amuses me to no end. also it's nickel's nickname for them! except she's forgot it's the cat who's blind and the fox who’s got the limp, so she's got them switched out.
(i delight in thinking that, minus carmen's aria, tarn would absolutely loathe every song i picked for him btw)
meanwhile, DEATHSAURUS, he's a bit harder to choose for, he has less "screen"time in the comics, less fics and meta written about him, so i'm quite going more with my gut feelings and uh, mostly shit i’ve made up myself for his au version, that's it, i’m sorry. one thing i'll say, though, i think i read this fic (by warlordenfilade i think? i don't want to tag in case i'm wrong ;w;) where the author stated that deathsaurus' taste in music would probably be something like space nickleback and YES perfect headcanon, though i've cranked it up to space soad (who are actual soad, tbh, since. human au). this said, deathsaurus would probably like the picks i've got for him much more than tarn does since, musically speaking, i guess we're floating more or less on the same boat (by which i mean, it's absolutely nonsensical): 1. question!; this is more of an early life lingering feeling vibe that he's carrying on from being fresh off the MTO operating lab, seeing the war from the first time face on, raising the ladder to warwold commander and some of the insensitiveness (mental and physical both) he's developed through it. just. deathsaurus weird feelings time, 2. coming undone/right between the eyes; if i ever get to write the human au version of deathsaurus defecting this is going to be the soundtrack, full stop: the fed-upness, the rage, the blowup, it just fits in like a puzzle coming together (heh!), 3. falling away from me/lost in hollywood; if the songs from point two are the defection soundtrack these are the buildup: you’re trapped in a cicle of violence and the people who depend on you are all dying useless deaths, you have to break it but it is also the reality that you’ve known for all your life and shaped you as the person you are now, 4. i would for you; deathsaurus’ terminal “i can fix them” disease <3  bonus track(s): Deathsaurus/Esmeral as enter sandman; they became something horrible together, deathsaurus even has a couple of lines of the song tattoed on his ribcage - it used to be a favourite, you could even call it their own song. what has become of their relationship: should i stay or should i go? (and the obvious no children) Esmeral’s early pov on deathsaurus and tarn’s relationship would instead be something like somebody told me - because the army likes to gossip and i like some silliness in my drama. meanwhile, Deathsaurus’ early pov on tarn as a whole would probably be something like blame it on the girls and he would be right <3 ...and adding to the series of Nickel’s Nicknames, she calls deathsaurus capitan harlock mostly in reference to the italian version of the og opening, but the english one works as well, i suppose.
some misc: if you want to know what both NICKEL and KAON like to listen, put on some Raffaella Carrà; though nickel’s song is donatella or even lamette, tbh they’re both good for her. babylon gives me deathsaurus’ warworld vibes. i can’t point exactly out why; it’s not really in the lyrics. ride the lightning is how deathsaurus’ Thunder Arrow got its name. beside the note i made in the beginning, what actually kickstarted me to think of the whole djd as humans was this reinterpretation of un’emozione da poco (shrugs) and that’s why my version of human tarn looks a bit like Luca Marinelli ig.
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