#(see this is why she tends to do flings; she's had some shitty relationships of various levels) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bulbabutt · 29 days ago

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yooooooo all i do lately is vent vent vent uhhh

itsssss really annoying to feel traumatized over shit that doesnt actually matter at all but you cant feel like a person who functions cuz of it

like. mkay, few years ago i did a stupid thing which was uh. pre coming out but post taking testosterone tell this girl ('girl' she was older than me, im an adult but sos she) i that i was trans. then that i had a crush on her. like a fucking idiot, i was like 'girl pretty girl nice maybe i can finally have something'

and the thing was like. we had this lax fucking job that didnt matter, we were both basically running this shitty lil store nobody came in for the christmas season. and like i had admitted id never done anything, but i should have noticed it was gonna be weird quicker, cuz while she was understanding of like 'ok yeah youre a dude i get that' it was. hmm. it wasnt really like she felt like that, and she didnt notice so much that shit she would say hurt my feelings. like this was so unserious honestly, but uh the thing abt taking t in your mid 20s is youre like... right im... im going through a literal puberty and being stupid as a teenager. im bad with expressing my feelings normally cuz of that.

anyway. it was a fling really. it was stupid and shouldnt have happened, and it probably hurt me more than i thought, but she got like... jealous of one of the employees who id known from a prev job... who to me was like. literally a child (cuz like, id known her since she was) and that made me feel so weird, cuz i was like ?? why the hell would i be thinking about her like that i havent done ANYTHING that would make you think that. and hello i only said i liked you ? but then i guess the age gap was the same in her eyes and so that might have been why she thought that. but like pfft if youre ~25 dating a ~30 yr old its whatever thats normal. going the other way gets weirder ESP if uh. HELLO i was this kids boss?? that was so weird that she felt like that. i guess cuz i was just better at getting along w people younger than me, as someone who isnt a TRUE millennial, someone whos pop culture references lean gen z or whatever. idk i just know kids like my vibe for some reason. there was NEVER anything else going on i was just... being chill? but that was enough to cause jealousy.

but like yeah theres only so many 3 weeks in 'i dont think this is a good idea i think im bad for you' texts you can get before you just go 'yeah you know what i dont wanna do this anymore actually thats fine no hard feelings'

but i tend to be a person who just cant socialize with people for long periods of time, i ghost people a lot, i dont have a history of having friends i dont know how to maintain relationships, but also i really didnt want to at this point. i felt really gross about it and embarrassed for putting myself out there and admitting a secret about myself.

anyway next year rolls around and i see her at the next job season and she tells me she and another coworker found my tiktok page (cuz shit forcibly adding your contacts IS THE DEVIL) and uh. she had to explain to said coworker that i was trans. which. felt like shit. obviously. i was still not out.

anyway THAT person was a piece of shit who talked down to me and acted like i was terrible at my job and brought aLL the personal shit up as if i had ever trusted HER with any of it. like using my new chosen name in texts and shit to call me out for nothing. i had to give her a fucking 'excuse me, you dont get to call me that i never fucking told you that and its WEIRD that you think you get to call me that just cuz you invaded my privacy.'

she literally told both my bosses about all my private shit with this girl. like all that stupid bullshit about how we had dated and it didnt go well, she spread my private shit. and like... it all... ugh. like i got told by said bosses 'hey. none of what she said is important at all dont even worry about it.' and i really appreciated that. but that year was so bad for me, i felt like i was being watched like everything i did was being misconstrued. everything blew up so fast if there was something sma,, and it was 100% that person making it worse.

next year i just came out finally just was like. yeah alright. got a beard now, had my tits removed, might as well. and everyone was chill. personal beef spreading bitch didnt come back (the bosses were glad of that) shit was chill. was on friendly terms with "ex" being normal, never had any beef that year. was very much a 'the beef we had the previous year was this bitch egging her on'. i was partially running store. everything was fine i thought.

next year. as it turns out? was not asked to help run store that year. was very confused, there was a slot to fill that no one else could and i wasnt asked to do it. instead they had this absolute bigot who made everyone and i mean EVERYONE who worked there so uncomfortable, abusive language bigoted talk, wouldnt let people leave if they were sick ass piece of shit.. yeah he got the job. and everyone complained, but hes friends with the boss so whatever.

anyway reached my wits end. quit mid season. was fine, i was moving anyway, it was whatever.

you know why i wasnt asked to have that job? cuz the ex. for some reason without thinking, said 'yeah ill come back but i dont want him to be in charge after last year'. and she... never told me there was any problem. and that hurt me so bad. like talking to other people who were there, it all seemed like... okay, i was good at my job and would just.. act like a boss and not a friend sometimes. like be the guy going 'hey can you like. go do __ i need to count the till i dont have time to hear your funny joke rn'. and she took it personally. like its fine if youre sensitive to stuff, but i was under so much stress a lot and i dont always handle it well.

and that beef she had that she didnt tell me about turned into me losing a job, losing my sanity, feeling utterly betrayed and forcing everyone else who worked there to deal with the biggest pos as a boss with no repercussions. i heard from people post quitting i was being talked shit about by my prev bosses TO the employees. for the crime of... complaining about a bigot. who was misgendering me, being racist to other employees, making the teens feel unsafe to be around. like this was a SCREAMING old man kind of shit.

and all because the ex, initially, made a comment about not wanting me to be in charge. and i just... i really dont even know what i did. it was so underhanded. and when i asked her about it, she just said 'no i didnt say i WOULDNT work under you i just said i HOPED you wouldnt be in charge, and weeks later i asked why you werent in charge' but like??? no. you literally said something that cost me a job. you did. theres no taking that back, you didnt tell me any beef you had with me, you clearly equated job stress with personal stress. you cost me a job! YOU did that you set off a chain of events! and like i cant even begin to explain how much i helped her with shit at jobs. like i kind of took all the responsibility but we were both being paid the same. i would get called every day by her being confused by things while i was at home and help walk her through shit. it was fine, i was stressed but i was fine i never held it against her!

and she like. blew up that entire shit. that whole job i loved got blown up cuz i thought i trusted a person. like was it entirely her fault? obviously not. but that kind of shit.. it just hurt. the idea that i trusted her with my own shit years ago, then time and time again that blew up in my face until i just cant look back at any of it happily anymore makes me so upset. 8 years of a job i loved w a friend, and it all got ruined cuz i said 'hey by the way, im trans' and that spiralled into something stupid.

and i havent had a job since for SOOOOOOME REASON..... i sit at home doing fuck all cuz i cant stand the idea of being around anybody again. i dont trust anybody. i dont feel safe talking to people, being in public, having a job... its so stupid and i hate everything.

also the whole. got clocked and almost punched had my 6 ft brother not been standing near me at the time thing. so now i am uh. just completely agoraphobic.

anyway. sorry i am just in a bad place lately.

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redpandaramblings · 4 years ago

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Like Caramel For Chocolate- An Omega Bakugou x Alpha f!Reader fic. Part 2.

Part 1- Here

Next- Here

Content Warning: Negative headspace, omegaverse, self deprecation, depressive thoughts, pushy parental figures, ambiguous omegaverse reproduction, unhealthy relationships, relationship that could be easily fixed if idiots would use their words and communicate

Where we left off-

You twisted the hem of your shirt, silence growing as you thought. Your mother wasn’t saying anything new. On your lonelier days, like today, the words sounded eerily similar to your own thoughts. If this conversation had happened on any other day, you knew how forceful your ‘No!’ would be. But today was today.

“Okay.” Your whisper seemed more like a shout into the quiet. “I’ll do it. I’ll go.”

“You will? Oh Y/N! How wonderful! Since I already said yes, of course. You’ll need to come home right away, the omiai is the day after tomorrow, and we need to get you a proper outfit!”

“So soon?” Your mind raced. Bakugou was still in heat. What would you do? There was no way… Your thoughts slowed. But there was a way. Plenty of ways. Katsuki had many friends that could look after him. Friends he was actually comfortable letting into his apartment. You knew he’d let Kirishima take care of him. Mina absolutely could convince him to eat and drink, no matter how grumpy he was. There was a pain in your chest as a familiar thought wound through your brain. Katsuki didn’t need you. He never had. As if in a fog, you heard yourself saying, “I’ll need a little bit to take care of some things here; but I can be home tonight. See you soon.” You heard your mother happily continue rambling even as you hung up. You stared at the wall for a few minutes, unseeing. You were really doing this, huh? Pushing yourself up, you rummaged around your kitchen; finding bags and filling them with snacks and drinks. Before you could think better of it, you dialed Kirishima. He answered on the fourth ring. “Hey dude! What’s up?” “Kiri, I need your help. Can you come over now? I’ll explain when you get here.” “Yeah man, I’ll be right over. Hang tight.” A few short minutes later, there was a knock on your door. You opened it to see a tall, concerned looking redhead. You ushered him inside as you went back to the kitchen, continuing to make up care packs. “Hey, now what is it, Y/n? It sounded serious.” “It is and it isn’t,” you say; looking over at him as you shove gatorade into bags. “There’s a… family emergency. I need to go home right away for a few days.” “Ouch, that’s rough man! It’s Bakubro having his heat right now?” “Exactly. That’s why I need your help. Can you bring one of these bags to him each day? Make sure he eats and drinks at least? I know he trusts you.”

Kirishima nodded enthusiastically. “Of course man! Anything to help!” He looked over the supplies, inconspicuously checking what you’d already packed. “You want to scent some stuff for him before you go too?” You shook your head, forcing yourself not to wince as you lied to your friend yet again. “I’d better not. I don’t want to give him a bag of stuff soaked in distressed alpha scent. Besides, I scented some stuff for him this morning; that should be enough.”

Kirishima frowned but nodded. “I guess that makes sense. Have you told him yet?”

You shake your head. “No. No reason to stress him out until I know for sure what I’m dealing with, and call when I have a better idea. Might not even take a full day if I’m lucky.” “Yeah, hopefully. It’s really shit timing, isn’t it.” You nod as you place the last of the bags on the counter, satisfied with your work. “It is. But I trust you to take care of him. You’re a great alpha like that.” Kirishima chuckled and preened at the praise. “I am great, aren’t I? I’ll do my best, but I’m no match for you.” You give a small, tight smile as you walk to your junk drawer, rummaging until you find one of your spare keys. You chuck it at your friend, who catches it easily. “Here. This way you can let yourself in and just grab a bag each day.”

“Can do, Dudette! Anything else?”

You considered as you retrieved a duffle bag, making a mental list of what you’d need to pack. “Not really? I haven’t told anybody else that I’m going yet. Wasn’t sure if I should ask Mina or some of the others to check in too. You know how Bakugou can be with his heats, and I want to make sure he’s comfortable.”

“Oh yeah, that makes sense. I’ll probably wait til tomorrow and see what he wants to do.” Kiri watched you as you paced around. “Need any help packing?”

You nodded with half a smile. “Yeah. Thanks, Kiri.”

In a few short hours you were packed with enough supplies for a few days, and on a train headed home. Your mother had agreed to meet you at the station. The scenery rushed by a window in a blur. Your eyes were unfocused as you watched the view whip by. You were really doing this. For the first time in years, you were leaving your omega… No. You were leaving Katsuki alone for his heat. You were leaving him alone so you could go to a marriage date. To meet an omega theoretically with the intention of bonding. Guilt weighed heavily on you as you exited the train hours later. You saw your mother waving to you from across the station. This was it. No turning back now.

~~~

Bakugou growled as the morning light streamed in his window, smacking him across the eyes. He wished he could just sleep until the whole fucking heat was over. He hated everything about it. He hated the itching of his skin, the hazy fog affecting his brain, the slimy slick that oozed out of him steadily. He hated the burning need to fuck and breed and to have his alpha close. Bakugou snarled to himself. He refused to be a slave to his weak ass biology. He wasn’t some weak, pitiful, flower. He was a top ten hero! He was going to be number one! And the next bastard who told him he should be home tending to his pups and letting an alpha take care of him was going to get an explosion up the ass. As if he needed some knotted headed alpha. Bakugou glanced at his clock, frowning when he saw the time. Usually his alpha would be here by now to drop off his care bag. He scratched at the swollen, irritated scent glands on his neck. It’s not like he fucking cared if Y/N was late. Just, he couldn’t remember the last time she had been. And maybe he was getting antsy because the strength of his heat scent was already starting to overpower the scented blanket he had woven into his nest, close to his pillows.

A knock sounded from the door, and with a relieved huff Bakugou rushed to answer it. He took a deep breath in to calm himself, before flinging the door open.

“About fucking time you showed up, shitty…” He trailed off as his brain registered the tall, red-headed man standing in front of him was very much not his alpha. “What the fuck are you doing here, shitty hair?”

Kirishima rubbed the back of his head, looking sheepish. “Hey man, sorry not to call beforehand, but I told Y/N I wouldn’t.” Confused, Bakugou looks Kirishima up and down again, this time spotting the familiar bag the redhead was holding. “What the fuck are you doing with my stuff? Where’s my shitty alpha?” Kiri frowned and held up the bag. “Don’t call Y/N shitty. She asked me to bring this over. Look, man, can I just come in and explain what’s going on?”

Reluctantly, Bakugou stood aside holding the door open as his friend came in. The blond stuck his head into the hallway, half looking for his alpha. His inner omega growing restless when there was no sign of you. With a grumble, he slammed the door, turning to where his friend had thrown himself onto the sofa. “So what the fuck, Kirishima? Where’s Y/N? Why didn’t she come here herself?”

Kiri tilted his head back, looking at the ceiling. “She had some sort of family emergency and had to go home for a bit. She didn’t want to worry you because she didn’t know how serious it was or how long it would take. She said she’d call and update us when she’s able to.”

Bakugou’s omega whimpered in his chest. His alpha was gone? His alpha had left him alone when he couldn’t follow to make sure they were alright? He knew how much your family stressed you out normally, let alone in an emergency. A traitorous part of his brain whispered to him, asking if this wasn’t exactly what he had wanted? Hadn’t he growled at his mate, wanting to be left alone? Bakugou hadn’t realized there was a plaintive whine escaping his throat until Kirishima wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

“Hey, bro, it’s okay. I know it’s rough, but I’m here. And I can call Mina and Sero if you want company. Been a while since we’ve had a pack get together. Y/N might not be here right now, but she wanted to make sure you’re as comfortable as possible.”

Bakugou nodded stiffly as he went to go paw through the bag Kirishima had brought.

Jerky, drinks, chocolate- Bakugou frowned. “Was this the only bag?”

“I mean, there’s a bag for each day for about a week’s worth; so I just grabbed one. Why man, something missing? Need me to go get you something?”

Katsuki shook his head. He wasn’t going to ask Kirishima of all people where his usual bag of scented items was. If Y/N was in a rush, that would explain it. Bakugou hoped that was the case, and he wouldn’t have to actually ask you to scent things for him again. He’d rather be kidnapped by villains again than admit to how much your rich chocolate scent soothed him and helped him sleep peacefully. There was no way the items you had left yesterday would last him through the rest of his heat.

“Actually, shitty hair, could you go get me some Yakult? Been craving it this heat.” Kiri jumped up with a grin. “Sure, bro! No problem! Be right back!” The omega gave a lazy wave as Kiri jogged out the door. As soon as the door shut, he bolted to the bathroom and applied as much scent blocker as he could stand. It wouldn’t hold up long against his heat pheromones, but should work for what he intended to do. Bakugou grabbed his keyring from the hook by the door, rushed down the hallway to the stairway, and started climbing upward; taking the stairs three at a time. In less than a minute, he was standing outside the door to your apartment.

It felt strange, Katsuki thought as he flipped through his keys until he found yours. It was strange that in all your years of dating he had only been inside your apartment a handful of times. He unlocked the door, pushing it open and stepping inside. As the wall of scent that was uniquely you smacked him in the face, he felt the tension in his shoulders ease. Maybe the strangest thing was that you lived three floors apart instead of sharing a space together. Because then he wouldn’t be here, doing this; he thought as he made a beeline to your bedroom. He knew exactly what he was after. Recently scented items lost their smell fairly quickly. But something you used daily, with your scent glands brushing against it every time? That would last him a month, if not longer. Besides. You were his alpha. He wouldn’t have to come in and steal your pillow if you had just scented more stuff for him in the first place. He buried his face in your pillow and inhaled deeply. He whimpered as your rich scent filled his nose, causing his slick to increase. Reluctantly he made his way to the door with his prize, even as every instinct told him to build a nest on the soft bed and wait for his mate to come home to him.

~~~~~

You sighed, adjusting the cuffs of the outfit your mother had picked and shoved you into. Today was the day. The day you met your perspective “bride.” You snorted at the old fashioned ideology. At times like these you felt like you understood Bakugou better. Omegas deserved to be treated as more than just their dynamic. Luckily, most of society agreed nowadays; with omegas able to hold any job and no one being forced to marry. Unluckily, the omiai remained one of the last extremely traditional accepted ceremonies. Your parents were in another room, exchanging your scented handkerchief with one from whoever the poor omega was. According to tradition, if you both went into heat and rut upon scenting each other; you would both be married and mated that same day. What happened more often, you thought cynically, is as long as you didn’t gag at each other’s scent, you’d meet in person to see if you found each other compatible.

You were broken out of your ruminations by the sound of a door opening. Your mother practically skipped toward you, holding out the paper wrapped package with the hanky inside. You tuned out her nattering about how good this match could be as you unwrapped the paper and brought the cloth to your nose. Your brow furrowed. You inhaled deeply, just to make sure. The sharp tang of citrus hit your nose. You knew this scent from somewhere. “Hey mom,” you spoke softly. “I think I’d like to see them now.”

“Oh!” Your mother blinked in surprise. “Of course, of course! This way!”

Your mother led you into an elegant private room. You settled onto a cushion as your parents went to see if the omega had agreed to meet. Glancing about the room, you wondered exactly how many times you’d see the inside of this teahouse if you kept agreeing to these meetings. It didn’t feel right, you thought with a frown. But if you gave up on Bakugou, this was your destiny. Awkward meeting after awkward meeting until you clicked enough with someone to risk settling down.

You glanced up at the sound of the door. In came your parents, then the Yokomadas. You did a double take as the final person, the omega you were here to meet, entered the room. They looked equally as startled as your eyes locked.

“Y/N?”

“Denki?!”

That's it for part 2! Thank you for reading, and stay tuned for part 3! If anyone has any questions regarding the fic or how this particular omegaverse operates, please feel free to shoot me an ask.

Taglist- @yzviea, @not-a-pushover, @thelilypieforever, @kumihayu, @aomi04 Also, please note that @snuggleyourredpandas is my main account, so it you see a message reply from them, that's me!

#reader insert #bnha reader insert #bakugou x fem!reader #bakugou angst #bakugou x reader #reader insert angst #bakugou katsuki #katsuki x reader #omegaverse #omega bakugou #alpha reader #multi part fic

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theramseyloft · 4 years ago

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You go on about how intelligent/emotional pigeons are, but you treat them like objects and that bothers me. You separate bonded pairs of these intelligent, loving animals so frequently as if they don't have any feelings. And then you wonder why these birds afterward do not just take a new mate instantly. You are continually traumatizing these animals and causing them to shut down because they probably begin to realize any new bond they make will only be severed.

I do that because they are.

There is a huge difference between treating a living being like an object and acknowledging that the feelings of a non-human will not often perfectly align with those of a human.

Different species are different.

They have different physical, emotional, and social needs, even if there are a lot of close parallels.

And there are certainly a lot of parallels between humans and pigeons;

They are self aware cooperative social learners.

They form societies.

Those societies have a culture that varies regionally and they have a base line of values...

But their society, culture, and values are different from a human’s because pigeons are not human.

Nothing specializes in preying on humans. We generalize in preying on everything, as a species, as a whole.

We change our environment to suit our needs as much as we are able, and we are more able with every generation.

While things, objectively, can happen to any human at any time, out of nowhere..

On the whole, we generally don’t expect them to.

As such, our monogamous relationships are, ideally, “Until death do us part” meaning “Until we both die of old age, preferably around the same time.”

To the extent that closely bonded humans are emotionally devastated by the loss of that life partner.

To many of us, a life partner is also counted as lost if they engage in sexual infidelity, and if this happens, we are just as devastated (if not even more devastated) as we could have been if that partner had died.

Pigeons are a prey species that evolved in a cheetah-and-thompson’s-gazelle-style arms race with the Peregrine Falcon.

Their monogamous relationships version of “Until Death do us part” can be better translated; “Until one or the other of us gets eaten on a foraging trip.”

And sexual fidelity does not enter into the equation for a pigeon unless their partner is treading or being tread by some one else at the exact moment that bird wants to tread or be tread by their partner.

A cock who wants sex will seek out his wife first, but if she is not interested, he will go asking all the hens away from their nest until one agrees and crouches for him.

If his mate changes her mind and wants him to tread her, she will seek him out and crouch to present herself.

He will tread his wife, and after they do the cute little “I just had sex” dance that’s reserved for mated pairs (side flings get neither this nor courtship. Just sex and separate.) she goes off to do what ever she wanted to do.

If the cock is satisfied, he goes with his wife.

If he still needs or wants more sex, he can tread as many hens as he wants. His wife will not care, because she has had her turn.

If a hen wants sex, she will seek out her husband, generally, but if he’s busy or away, she’ll present for who ever she likes.

Her husband does not care who filled the egg. He only cares that she lays it in his nest and he gets to help set and raise it.

Pigeons divorce partners they consider to be inadequate. Cocks who fail to fill eggs, hens who refuse to set eggs, partners of either sex that don’t spend enough time reaffirming their bond with their spouses...

Unrequited relationships and love triangles are also relationships that pigeons find themselves in.

A pair is considered to have divorced if one partner or the other moves in and spends their nights in the nest of another partner, not for mating with some one else.

Some times, divorces are mutual, and both birds move on to other mates.

Some times, they are not. And the partner left will pine and keep making overtures to reconcile with the partner that left them.

But when a mate just disappears and doesn’t come back, they are assumed by the remaining partner to have been eaten.

If they were closely bonded, the remaining partner may wait a week or so at most, in case they were lost, in hopes the missing bird will make their way back and reunite.

If, after a week, the remaining bird is keeping to them self and not socializing, something is physically wrong, and anthropomorphizing it as “depressed” can get the bird killed.

The veterinary term ‘depression’ describes an animal that is physically ill, be that from a pathogen attacking it to ingesting or absorbing a toxin or simple vitamin or mineral deficiency.

For example;

A week after I became aware that breeding pigeons could become salt deficient and gave the flock a salt and trace mineral brick, birds that had shown no interest in bonding or courting for months are suddenly flirting with everything that moves.

They were not too traumatized to before.

They had a mineral deficiency.

They did not court because they did not feel good.

With the addition of their supplement brick, lo and behold, they all feel better and are courting again.

I have an entire flock to take care of, and I am responsible for the wellbeing of every individual I bring into the world.

To avoid overcrowding, I have a cap of 10 breeding pair.

Because that is the number of adults and their offspring under 6 months old that my loft can comfortably house.

When ever a new breeding bird leaves quarantine or a keeper reaches 6 months, a bird of the same sex has to be retired and made available to avoid overcrowding and the stress and disease that come with it.

Who retires when is not arbitrary.

There are very strict criteria.

1. Physical health.

Regardless of whether or not I have a replacement ready, a bird who may be hurt by the physical process of reproduction or the strain of rearing young, or who may pass on genes that may be harmful to potential offspring is retired on the spot and adopted out with a strict nonbreeding agreement.

Gus is a sweet boy,

But this happens to him every molt, and we have since found out that it runs in both sides of his family, proving it to be genetic and cumulative.

As cute as he and Leela were together, I cannot let him breed.

Because I would have to be a monster to be willing to knowingly pass that painful condition on to another generation.

He has a forever family familiar with his condition to whom he is going on Monday.

2. Undesirable structure

I do not mean anything as stupid as “This animal isn’t pretty enough.”

Cody is not only gorgeous, but an excellent father who has served our program very well.

But his muffs are big enough to make walking uncomfortable, so while I like the rest of his traits, that’s one I want to breed away from.

Now that I have a brother and Sister of his with short muffs that do not cause them discomfort,

Farthing

and suki

will continue contributions to the project

and Cody is available.

3. Antisocial behavior that disrupts or disturbs their flock mates.

Indica

And Pookie

Are the poster children for flock disruption.

They are a gay and bi mated pair of cocks, who are literally turned on by prying other treading pairs off of each other.

If they see another pair treading, Indica will grab the hen by the scruff, Pookie will grab the cock by his, and they will pull in opposite directions, prying the treading pair apart, and marching them in opposite directions towards the wall.

Indica and Pookie will then throw the bird they have at the wall and then run back to meet each other in the center of the floor, smooch-feed each other back and forth, and take turns treading each other.

On top of this, they defend 15 of the 36 total nest boxes in my loft, refusing to pick a specific one or let any other pair settle in a box to lay.

You may or may not have noticed that when I advertised the available birds on Thursday, I made a point of saying that I would prefer these two be adopted together because they are bonded and would be happier that way.

A prospective new family is coming to meet them on Monday.

But they are SUCH a violent disruption to their flock mates that if only one had a home lined up, it would be unkind to the rest of the flock to keep them both on the insistence that they go together.

4. Shitty parenting history

Parents who tend to ignore eggs or peeps, leaving all the work of setting or feeding to their partner.

This is a personality trait, and such a parent puts dangerous strain on their partner and stress on their peeps.

Their partner will usually divorce them for that, so adopting the bad parent out isn’t “Splitting up a bonded pair”.

Their former spouse is usually looking for or has found some one else with out any interference on my part.

5. Too many offspring/grandchildren

This is to avoid any more inbreeding than necessary.

Betty is one of the best studs here.

He is an outstanding father who sits tight on his eggs, pumps his peeps full, and educates them carefully though weaning.

MANY are his children and grand children, and he has a strong preference for birds with faces like his.

He has already bred with his niece to produce Sherry, and I would like to avoid having him breed to any more of his kin.

Once his peep with Liang is weaned, he will be adopted.

Liang is very skittish, and she liked him right off the bat, so I delayed his retirement to give her more time to feel secure with the flock.

But with her egg hatching, she is allowing herself to be casually flirt with more.

Wukong still likes her. So do Cherub and Ginger, so she’ll have her pick when Betty goes to his new home.

6. Temperament

The Therapy Bird Project is working towards developing a performance breed with a temperament conducive to Therapy work.

All else being equal; The birds are all physically sound with no known detrimental genes, no embellishments too exaggerated, not overly aggressive to flock mates, great parents... Then the bird least interested in human company gets retired.

The ground work of physical and mental base soundness has to be laid first and foremost for that excellent temperament I’m aiming for to shine in their handler’s lives for as long as possible.

You probably have not noticed that when bonded pairs retire at the same time, I make a thing of them being bonded in hopes that they will be adopted together.

Dodger and Alex retired close enough to each other that both are still here, and I would prefer they be adopted together.

But if one of them gets a perfect home lined up where I think that individual will be happy, I will not refuse them that good home for the sake of not splitting up a pair.

You care about the idea of that a LOT more than the pigeons themselves do.

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cassyapper · 4 years ago

Text

loving you may mean losing you but i dont mind (jotakak playlist)

dont talk to me about the title of this thing im embarrassed enough

anyway but okay so!!!! very excited to share this!!!! this has been in the works since september but my picky ass finally found an adequate amount of songs so here it is!!!!!! my jotakak playlist (:

special thanks to my lovely and wonderful friend jade for helping me finish this this thing <3

track list nd why i picked the songs that i did under the break!

1. the predatory wasp of the palisades is out to get us! by sufjan stevens i chose this song because it’s all about internalized homophobia and being in love with your best friend as a kid which RLLY resonates w jotakak imo. esp cause in the song, stevens’ friend ends up leaving abruptly, leaving stevens to wonder about what couldve blossomed if they had stuck together and worked through the difficulties together, which JOTARO....THAT IS JOTARO-CORE esp cause kak also “leaves” (dies). so this song was a v obvious choice for me and in fact this song is what inspired me to create this playlist in the first place

2. we are beautiful, we are doomed by los campesinos! this song is abt being in love with someone but you both have ur issues so it’s kind of a mess. considering jotaro and kakyoin’s (to point it quite frankly) trauma and the fact that both of them do jack shit to try and cope with it healthily, this song DEFINITELY fits them. esp cause this song mentions physical fighting and the imagery that goes with it (”he got his teeth fixed/im gonna break them”, “i’ve got a fist on fire”, etc) and the entirety of the bridge/last verse rlly gives me these two’s vibes so! ya (:

3. love love love by of monsters and men this song is the singer feeling like shes completely unworthy of being loved by this important person in her life, particularly because she has NO idea how to show affection and love the (for lack of better word) “acceptable” way, or any way at all really. this REALLY has jotaro vibes cause he is one repressed motherfucker and as we see the entirety of his story, jotaro is full of love he loves so much it’s just he has no idea how to properly express it cause he’s scared essentially. but that didn’t stop people from loving him, in this case, that being kakyoin. hhhhHHh

4. ribs by lorde this song is about being scared of growing up but due to the lyrics being written the way they are, i kinda spin the interpretation of it to be the fear jotaro and kakyoin had on the crusade to egypt, as they were the youngest and didnt know if they’d make it back and everything is just incredibly overwhelming there is so much going on all the time those 50 days. i can do a full analysis on why but that would be kinda long LMAO. for now let’s leave it at they have a very Unique fear of growing up but it still fits with the lyrics. particularly the last bit of the song with the “youre the only friend i need” verses,,,makes me think of these two...

5. can i call you tonight? by dayglow i interpret this song to be about trying to figure out what, exactly, your feelings are for this very specific and important person in your life. since jotaro and kakyoin r both repressed and also suckers of internalized homophobia, i think they fit that theme very well. particularly with the whole “i feel like we’re close, but maybe we’re not actually? what are we?” theme going on in the lyrics, this whole song makes me think of jotaro and kakyoin figuring out their intense and sudden (cause again only 50 days but also, those 50 days had So Much going on) feelings for each other. also the “now i’m no longer alone” line in the chorus HHHHHHH that’s them

6. la la la love song by toshinobu kubota ft naomi campbell SO I KNOW THIS SONG IS KINDA JUST FLUFF but we need some light-hearted moments in this thing hjgg;. ALSO toshinobu kubota is canonically jotaro’s favorite musician so i wanted to reference that and this was my fav love song of his that i’ve found so far so (: also the “you are my shining star” line,,,heh

7. truce by twenty one pilots so this song is very soft. it’s about tending to wounds and taking a moment before continuing to push on. it makes me think abt jotaro and kakyoin taking care of each other on the journey (for example the lovers arc/n’doul fight). also the whole “stay alive, stay alive for me/you will die, but now your life is free/take pride in what is sure to die” makes me go fucking nuts that is. that fits these two to a T fuck

8. this side of paradise by coyote theory this song has big “two lonely people are in love with each other for the first time” vibes and OHHHHHHHHHH THAT’S JOTAKAK.... there are a lot of little lines that make me specifically think abt these two, such as “love so strong it makes me feel weak” (jotaro-core...), “if you’re lonely come be lonely with me”, “i’ll be yours if you’ll be mine” (wanting some security while ur in love for the first time is common but especially for these two i think it works spectacularly) but yea this song as a whole is just...ohhh them. theyre in lvoe HK;FNJFL

9. i saw you in a dream by the japanese house EVERY. SINGLE. LINE. OF THIS SONG IS POST-EGYPT JOTARO. EVERY SINGLE LINE. and the ghost the singer talks about seeing? they hadnt changed at all? they were such a pretty vision, a perfect hallucination? BRUH... just listen i could do a whole analysis on this song it all just fits jotaro mourning kakyoin throughout the years so so so so well it makes me feel nuts holy shit i just. literally every line. every line fits i am not joking. i cried when i first heard this song LMAO

10. video games by the young professionals SO LMAO obviously kakyoin’s epic gamer moves are being referenced but beyond that i interpret this song to just be the fun parts of being in love esp when ur young (backed up with the “kissing in the blue dark” and the “watching all our friends fall” lines). also the chorus just makes me want to cry cause just, happy jotakak moments PLEASE. “the world was built for two only worth living if somebody is loving you, and baby now you do” THEYRE NOT ALONE ANYMORE THEY FOUDN EACH OTHER IM GONAN WAILLLLLLL oh my god. im nuts theynkjNJKNJF also “i heard that you like the bad girls” please. these two shitty teenagers

11. ikanaide by sohta ft. yuki kaai this song is abt not wanting someone u love to leave u cause youll miss them obviously but also ur scared of how the time will change you and if it’ll make you unrecognizable eventually. big post-egypt jotaro vibes 😔 especially cause one part of the chorus translates to “i shouldnt cry, i shouldnt cry, but the truth is i want to say dont go” and im jus like OHHHHH NO IT’S JOTARO FINDING OUT KAKYOIN DIED jkfnNKJFNJDhkld

12. therefore you and me by eve ALRIGHT. god this song is one hell of a doozy. i interpret this song to mean being sincerely in love but youre in the wrong place/wrong time. considering the uh Whole Situation in part 3 there were definitely better times to fall in love for these two. jotaro and kakyoin try to be happy w the moments they do have (i think the second verse in particular adds to this sentiment what with the selfish ghosts part) but they want a better environment understandably so theyre also just kinda ignoring things until they can properly care for a relationship. but well...who knows if theyll live to make it to that better environment ):

13. mayonaka no door/stay with me by miki matsubara this song is a v sweet sentiment abt like “it’s not just heat of the moment!! i do care about u a lot!!” and asking the person u have feelings for to stick around. big kakyoin and jotaro vibes as it would be easy to call what they have a fling considering how relatively short of a timeframe they had but i genuinely think their relationship was deeper than just that and this song nicely reflects such. “jotaro and i will share a room cause we’re both students” fuckin head ass

14. a thousand years by sting oh sting.... so since sting is kakyoin’s favorite musician canonically i had to add one of his songs here as well but beyond just that i do think this song fits them!! it kinda gives me big “if not in this life, then the next” vibes which is a big uhhh thing for jotakak. they may be doomed to tragedy but the moments they have together make the tragedy worth enduring ironically i feel like this song is mostly from jotaro’s pov considering i dont think he ever completely got over kakyoin and this song def has that kinda sentiment but hey it fits them...

15. mr loverman by ricky montgomery SO FUNNY STORY i actually REALLY. REALLY didnt wanna add this song at first cause i felt it wouldve been...idk too cliche? i guess? and i was ALL kinds of picky when choosing songs for this playlist HOWEVER. eventually i relistened to it and read the lyrics while thinking specifically abt jotakak and it actually rlly does fit quite well KJDFN; another jotaro mourning song ): it’s not just the chorus tho the whole song fits jotaro immediately post-egypt but also i feel like some time around part 4 this sentiment would come back to him cause Yknow. Gays In Morioh and the mess of his family life back in america. it just aches for him cause while he’s happy josuke is happy he wishes he couldve had that for him and kakyoin too but yea jus ... them

16. you by petit biscuit an instrumental?? in a ship playlist?? yes that’s right much like mr loverman i was hesitant to put this song in cause it’s harder to justify since i dont rlly know much abt music (and not to b controversial but interpreting lyrics and interpreting music r two different things) however i really think the vibes of this song fit jotakak. it’s got a somber melody but the keys of the piano are high which im taking to mean “light in the dark” which. jotaro and kakyoin (along w the rest of the crusaders) were each other’s lights in the dark. also the ending samples a conference/lecture talking about space flight and like. star platinum. space symbolism. jotaro. yeah

17. saturn by sleeping at last MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. this song is all about losing someone very close and important to you, but reflecting on the good they brought into your life rather than the pain of losing them. this song also has HEAVY space imagery which stardust crusaders is absolutely chalk fucking full of so also it’s a very philosophical song and considering that jotaro and kakyoin are both Nerds and both got a nice view of the stars/space in the desert with each other, im sure they had conversations similar to the one highlighted in the song. i think it’s a good note to end the playlist on cause kakyoin is dead and jotaro is the survivor but it’s not a mourning song so much as jotaro taking the love he had for kakyoin and pushing forward with it allll th way into part 6

but yeah that’s the tracklist! i might add or take away a song or two but this is mostly it (: hope yall enjoy!

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jawritter · 5 years ago

Text

Broken Me...

Ch. 10

Summery: The Dallas Convention couldn't have come at a worse time for Jensen. His world fell apart earlier that morning, but was expected to just act like everything was normal. You and a friend were at the convention for her birthday. Life hasn't been that great for you either, but a forced meeting on stage changes two worlds. Will you be able to put this broken man back together again...

Series Warings: Cheating, shitty marriage, Danneel is a bitch, I unfortunatly have to put that as a warning because some people tend to get turnt up about it if you don’t... Smut, Crying, Suiside Attempt, brief discription of suicide attempt and recovery, depression, hints of self loathing, language. I think that’s it... Suicide Trigger warnings will be placed over each chapter!

Chapter Warnings: A disgusting amount of fluff..

Word Count: 2666

A/N: BINGE READ TIME!! As always all mistakes are mine! Please do not copy my work! Feedback is gold!! Hope you all enjoy this one!!

Want More? Check out my masterlist!!

****MASTERLIST****

You've been in Vancouver with Jensen for a week.

He was slowly getting better, but It's been a long week. The first three days were really tough. High fever and coughing until he nearly vomited. No real appetite. Once the fever broke he'd been mostly sleeping, and had little to no appetite..

The Tamiflu that they gave him at the hospital seemed to be helping some, but really the only help for the flu is time and sleep...

Jared had been over almost every evening when he got done working to check on Jensen. The little bit you did speak to each other was still pretty tense. You hated that he didn't really trust you, though with the kind of life that they lived you did understand why.

People would love to use Jensen for money, their little 15 minutes in the limelight, or a way to get themselves into the industry.

You wanted none of those things.

You really weren't interested in any of that.

You didn't want to be the center of attention in any way, shape, or form. You just wanted to be with Jensen. That's all you cared about. The other to you, was just his work, that's all. The person that they saw played out on the screen wasn't Jensen. The person that they saw during the cons wasn't really Jensen.

He was so much more than that...

He was one of the most caring people you'd ever meet. He'd give his shirt off his back to a complete stranger if he saw they didn't have one. He was giving of himself almost to a fault. He was strong willed. The man probably would walk through a burning building if he put his mind to it or there was something on the other side that he wanted. He loved a challenge. Especially anything physical. Even though he was those things, and more.

He was still human.

He wasn't perfect.

You loved everything about him though. The good and the bad. You didn't mind that he was clingy. You understood why. You didn't mind that he was overprotective. You got that too. Putting your all into a relationship, then having done to you what she did to him was bound to create trust issues, and he definitely had that.

He didn't have a lot of self confidence anymore. Though Misha said he didn't develop that issue until her. He would over analyze things enough to drive a saint to drinking.

To you though.

All of that was fine.

You didn't mind..

He was glad that you were here with him.That much you could tell.

You might be a little crazy, but you considered it an honor to be able to take of him while he wasn't feeling well. You never expected it to be as intimate as it was. You never expected how close it would pull the two of you, but it had.

You were lost in thought, checking social media. The rumor's about Jensen being sick had found social media. Of course his fan base showed concern, though there is always someone who thinks it's okay to be a dick since they weren't face to face with people and they were hiding behind a computer.

Hearing the shower turn on had pulled you out of your snooping...

He's up!! This was the first time in days!! He had only been able to really lay in the bed and sleep.

Relief washed over you. While he was in the shower you went to the bedroom, and quickly changed the sheet and disinfected the pillows and bed. You were just turning the sheets down again in case he decided that he wanted to lay back down when you heard him calling you from the kitchen.

"Y/n? Baby where are you?"

"I'm back here!" You yell from the hallway, hurrying toward the kitchen. Where you heard his voice coming from. When you rounded the corner you found him sitting at the bar, smiling at you. Looking better in his face than he had in a week.

"You look like you feel better." You tell him, walking over to him as he turns the bar stool so that you could slip between his knees, and let him wrap his arms around your waist.

"Yeah I'm a little bit better." He laughed, pretending to click his heels together with a fake overly wide smile momentarily plastered on his face, getting a giggle from you. You were relieved to see him getting back to himself.

After getting him something to eat. Another sign he was feeling better, It was the first time since you got there that he even said he was hungry... You two found yourself sitting on the couch as he flipped through the TV channels.

Finally landing on a late night football game. Absent-mindedly running his fingers through your hair while your head rested on his shoulder. An oversized throw draped over the two of you. You were almost asleep when his deep voice, still a little hoarse from the sickness snapped you out of your doasing state.

"There's something I want to ask you. Something I was planning on asking you before I got sick. Then you just showed up, and I never got to ask you. I was kinda too busy trying not to die." He said, obviously nervous about what he was planning to ask you. Which made you nervous.

"Okay....I'm listening....." You said, heart hammering in your chest. Your throat felt like it was closing in. You didn't think you were going to be able to handle it if he asked you to leave him alone. If he didn't want to see you anymore.

"I was hoping that you would move in with me.........I know we haven't made our relationship official really, and that's my fault. I should have done it a long time ago. I......I...I love you.......and I want to be with you. I want you to be here when I get home from work.....I want you be there every night when I go to bed.....I hope I'm not scaring you off...It's just I'm in my 40's.....I want this to be permanent...I'm not looking for just a weekend fling. I really, really want you to stay with me....." He said, stumbling over his words in his nervous state.

All you could do was sit there for a moment in shock. Unable to speak. Jensen had just told you he loved you..That's something you never thought you'd hear...

"Sweetheart...Say something please.." He pleaded with you, desperation evident in his voice as he lifted your face closer to his with his finger. You swallowed hard, attempting to make the lump in your throat disappear so that you could speak clearly to him..

"I love you to Jensen. Of course I'll stay." You watched relief wash over his face as he pulled you tighter into his arms..

A knock on the door disturbed the moment the two of you were having before either of you could say anything else.

"Come in it's open." Jensen yelled at the door. Both of you knowing it was probably Jared.

A few moments later Jared came lumbering into the door. Surprised to see Jensen up, and looking almost alive again.

"Hey man, You look better." He said, flopping down in the chair across from Jensen and yourself.

"I am now that y/n has agreed to move in with me." He said, still looking at you. Jared sat there in silence for a moment before speaking.

"That's great man... Glad to see you feeling better today." He seemed almost a little relieved, and annoyed all at the same time.

You know he just wanted his friend to be happy.

You were going to have to think of a way to win him over.

-----------------------------------

Three months later…

Jensen's POV:

The Austin, Texas sun shining through the window woke Jensen for the first time in almost months.

You and Jensen had landed in Austin late last night, coming back home from the holidays..

It was the first time in years that he was going to get to spend the Thanksgiving holiday with his family. Danneel never wanted to come to his parents house. The first thing you had said to him the morning he got done with my last day of filming, was when he wanted to head to Texas to see his family.

Once he got over the shock he called his Mom, and she was elated. He couldn't have his kids till Christmas, and that was heavy on his mind the whole plane ride back down to Austin.

Not having to be in Dallas until the day of Thanksgiving gave Jensen and yourself some time to yourselves. He hadn’t stepped foot into the house since the day he’d caught Danneel with her new man in the living room, he didn’t think it was bothering him, but it was, a lot of things were bothering him lately...

You being here with him helped a great deal. It wasn’t like walking in alone, and that’s something he didn’t want to even think about.. Looking down at you asleep on his chest, his heart swelled a little.

All the bullshit in his head aside there was one thing for sure… He was in love with you… That was the only thing holding him together.

Even though people thought it was too fast, he didn’t care. He loved you, and for some reason you loved him, that’s all that mattered...

Carefully as to not wake you he slid his arm from under your head, tucked the cover in around you, and headed toward the kitchen.

You’d done so much for him during the time you’d been together. When he came home from filming during the day, when his hours are actually decent, you’d always have a hot; home-cooked meal and a cold beer waiting for him. If he came in really late you would wake up just to lay there and talk to him about his day. Running your fingers through his hair until he relaxed enough to fall asleep.

You made time for him, no matter what...

When he was sick you didn't sleep for three days. Always watching, making sure he was okay, Making sure he had everything he needed. Not caring about yourself. You treated him like a damn God. He felt like he didn't deserve it.

He’d just started the coffee pot, and started to make breakfast when he heard you coming down the stairs.. He was going to walk down the boardwalk this morning before a lot of people got there. Maybe check out some of the little shops that line downtown Austin. He had a whole day planned of the two of you to just enjoy each other.

He felt like you deserved this, and so much more.

"Morning babe.” He laughed as you duck under my arm. Heading for the coffee pot.

"Morning." You mumble still somewhat asleep. Coming back to the stove to wrap your arms around him.

"What's got you up so early?" You asked him, as he loaded two plates up with eggs, bacon, and toast.

"I'm taking you around Austin today. Just me and you." He tells you, wrapping his arms around you, kissing your forehead.

"Now eat! I want to get going! I'm excited to be home!" Jensen said, practically skipping over to the seat next to you, peppering your face with little kisses..

........................

Your POV:

You had never seen Jensen so giddy, You were very nervous to meet his family, but just watching him shuffling around the kitchen, making breakfast, singing to himself, excitedly telling you to hurry up and eat your breakfast so he can take you to do whatever it was he had planned made all of these nerves worth it..

His eyes were brighter than you'd seen in a long time. He was relaxed and in his element. It was worth more to you than money could buy just to see him happy. You couldn't understand how someone could so quickly become your everything. He was like air. You required it to survive.

So you hurried up, and ate your breakfast before heading out to the boardwalk for today...

It was absolutely the most amazing day you'd had this far.

You spent the morning walking down the boardwalk, holding hands like a couple of teenagers. Talking about anything you could think of. Cuddling on the bench that they had along the way. Watching the water slap against the boats that were tied to the docks there... Enjoying the nice cool November weather. Unlike Vancouver, which is beautiful all times of the year, Texas was more bearable when it came to winter temperatures changes.

He took you to his favorite little restaurant near the boardwalk, then to walk through the little shops in downtown Austin.

When the two of you had just about walked until you couldn't put one foot in front of the other he brought you home, and drew you a bath. Complete with a glass of your favorite wine while he ordered the two of you take out for supper.

You did love how he was pampering you, but you would much rather have been pampering him.

After your bath you came into the living room where Jensen had the takeout spread across the coffee table and a movie waiting for the two of you.

His mood was through the roof. You had never seen him this happy.

When the two of you had finally crawled into bed that night, you didn’t think it was humanly possible for you to love him more than you did right there in that moment…

You don’t know what you did to deserve him, but you knew that you were going to spend the rest of your life doing everything in your power to show him just how much you loved him… Because that’s what he deserved, even though he thought he was broken..

You loved every crack, chip, and fault, to you it just made him that much more beautiful..

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

tag list: @screechingartisancashbailiff @thecreatiivecorner @aflamboyanceofgays @deanwanddamons @imabitch4jensen @rvgrsbrns @bi-danvers0 @onethirstyunicorn @i-love-superhero @akshi8278 @alanegaming @magssteenkamp @lemondropirwin @squirrelnotsam @hobby27 @spnbaby-67 @mrsjenniferwinchester @defenderrosetyler

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#jensen ackles #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles x you #jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen ackles fanfic #jensen ackles series #jensen ackles dark fic #jensen x reader #jensen x you #dark fic #hurt!jensen #hurt!comfort fic #spn fanfiction #spn fanfic #jawritter

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codyssfern · 5 years ago

Note

PLEASE do write a blurb about cuddling with xavier i love my soft boy

your wish is command!!

—

Sleepovers

(gif cred codyfernsource)

a/n: i apologize for the shittiness 😔 but here you guys go xoxo

warnings: cussing? (maybe)

to be fair you never planned to spend your summer in a camp in the middle nowhere but everything and anything was sort of inevitable when it came to your friends. so when you found yourself laying in bed in your cabin at camp redwood with an arm around your best friend’s waist and a hand playing with his hair, you weren’t shocked.

your best friend being xavier. xavier plympton or as you and montana liked to call him “plumpton” that nickname specifically was no other than montana’s doing. she and xavier had a thing a while back, more of a fling than a serious relationship but montana has never learned to shut up about xavier’s butt.

“why are you moving so much?” xavier asks turning to face you.

oh yes. xavier plympton was indeed the little spoon.

“you are forcing me against my own will to be the big spoon so i think i have the right to move around until i feel comfortable.”

xavier clicks his tongue, “you know why i hate to be the big spoon,” you roll your eyes, “my clothes get all crumpled up.”

“they’re your pajamas not something you wear on a date!”

“so this isn’t a date?”

only you would agree to spend the whole summer stuck in some camp with the boy you liked and also cuddle him at his demands not thinking, in any way, how this could affect you.

“you know how i know this isn’t a date?” xavier looks at you, “cause there’s no way in hell you’d ask me to be the big spoon. you like to appear as ‘extra manly’ and cocky as you can around people you tend to want to bone.”

xavier was rather intrigued by your observations. i wasn’t a shock to him though, you two went way back. he was grateful for you. when you met him he was at his lowest and you’ve been nothing but his rock ever since. it was around you where he felt the most comfortable and like he could let his guard down.

“are you saying that just because i ask you to be the big spoon that i don’t want to ‘bone’ you?” he asks using air quotations.

you pout your lips, “well do you?”

“i mean,” he sits up leaning his back against the headboard, “can’t say i haven’t thought about it.”

you couldn’t believe you were having this conversation. this could either be heaving or hell, you thought to yourself.

“don’t bullshit me, xavier.”

he scoffs, “i’m not! and i’m not just saying that because we almost died yesterday at the hands of some stupid townsies either.”

you almost forgot that you and the gang were harassed all night last night by a couple of townsies dressed as mr jingles. a serial killer who massacred a group of councilors 14 years ago in this very camp.

“you know i was almost close to forgetting about that,” you sigh, “now i’m mad at you all over again for dragging my ass to this shithole.”

xavier groans so loudly you’re surprised brooke and montana were still passed out.

“don’t change the subject.” he says placing his hand on your knee.

you look at him. so pretty, you thought to yourself. with his stupid blonde streaked hair and blue eyes. this was so typical of him, flirting was like a sport to him. he’d be a gold medalist if flirting was actually a sport.

“i will, cause one; you’re annoying. two; brooke and montana are across the room and i don’t want them getting the wrong idea.” you pat his hand away from your knee, “now are we gonna go back to sleep or not?”

he hums, “on one condition,” you had no choice but to listen, “kiss me.”

you rolled your eyes so far back you were shocked they didn’t come out the back of your head.

“i don’t think so.” you cross your arms.

“c’mon don’t you wanna see if there’s a spark or something?” he was almost begging, “you can’t tell me you haven’t thought about it.”

oh you had. for quite some time now but you weren’t just gonna give in just like that. were you?

“whatever gets your ass to sleep... i guess.”

your tone was almost unsure. you were unsure yet suddenly in a matter of seconds xavier closed whatever space was between the two of you. his lips were soft yet his kiss was fast paced and passionate. you wondered if he remembered that one druken kiss you guys shared the night he and montana broke up.

“i think,” you say between the kiss, “we should s-stop.”

he hummed against your lips but before he could say anything someone else did

“i think you should stop too!” montana says making you and xavier jump and hit your heads, “brooke and i just want to get some sleep and you two keep sucking each other’s faces off!”

“oh my god!” you scream, “how long have you been awake?!”

“let’s just say... i think we all felt the spark so go to freaking sleep.” she says before laying back down.

you kept mouthing ‘oh my god’ under your breath.

“calm down, babe,” xavier chuckles, “it’s just montana.”

you let out a weak smile before laying back down, “not really how i pictured that going.”

“she was right about one thing though,” you raise an eyebrow at him as he goes to lay back down as well, “there was a spark.”

you roll your eyes and turn around so your back was facing him.

“goodnight, xavier.”

#ahs: 1984 #ahs 1984 #american horror story #AHS #xavier plympton imagine #xavier plympton imagines #xavier plympton fic #xavier plympton #cody fern #xavier plympton blurb #rec #requests

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johntheirritatedgunslinger · 5 years ago

Note

So in the modern au if John and Abigail didn’t work out how would they both approach finding someone else? How would it effect the kids, their attitude toward romance, etc. Love this blog keep up the great work.

Thank you so much!! I’ve been working my ass off on this!!! I bet you guys are tired of my long answers. But there are two versions of this as well because there are two versions in canon. (As far as Abi’s and John’s relationship goes.) Option 1:

There is the theory that they were a fling that accidentally ended in a pregnancy and now they are “stuck” with Jack”. In some versions of people’s games. They are downright hateful and an argument can be made that this is the case. In a Modern Au - they are very estranged and want nothing to do with each other. John doesn’t want to see Jack. He still doesn’t think Jack is his - if tested - he will pay child support and that is it. If Jack does visit, it is chaos. Bad chaos. They don’t have Amelia. Amelia was made out of love. Literally and figuratively speaking. Abigail would leave him because she was tired of the drinking and she felt like there was never really any love to begin with - just attraction (Again - this is actually a common idea in the fandom!).

John doesn’t really give a shit. He just sees her as a nag. Even without the alcohol, Abigail thinks he’s a selfish ass. John is a bit of a mess. By the time he meets reader/Oc - he is recovering because Charles, Hosea and Arthur refuse to let him accidentally die. He is a misanthrope and a bit of an ass. He has a lot of trauma and anger. However, his life slowly becomes more normal. He needs someone supportive - but can also call him out on his shit. He will be pissy about it , but he’ll realize he needs it. He needs someone who will accept him at his core.. He’s still moody, but secretly very sweet. Still works as a mechanic and is a biker and old car enthusiast. Tends to be more of a loner and more willing to do crimes with Dutch’s biker gang. He’s more reckless. Do not try to fix him. I don’t like rping that sort of shit because it can’t happen in real life. That’s another reason why he and Abi divorced. She thought love would fix him. John would try tinder dates and realize he just feels shitty. John is more open to exploring his sexuality. He’s bi and always has been. TLDR: He’s healing and will take time to warm up to you. He’s a bit gruffer and more selfish - think “bad’ version of chapter 2.

Abigail is frosty towards him. However, she is dealing with her own trauma. After divorce, she wants to be in love. She wants to love and care for someone - but she wants it to be real. Not because she’s a pretty face - but because you see she has value. She really hates one night stands. Both are more closed off and suspicious than in option 2. I have to admit - this one is more challenging - yet more fun to play as a writer. It’s not as healthy - but there is a lot of wiggle room for character growth.

Option 2:

And of course, the idea that they love each other. My play through never had them abuse each other. No arguing, calling each other darling even in early chapter 2. It was cute.

In this version, they fell out of love and both of their hearts were broken. They love each other in certain ways, but not like a married couple “should”. They agree it’s best for the kid(s) to part ways. However, they are still very close friends and protective of one another. Jack still doesn’t like his father - but wants his approval. Abigail wants John there - but she understands that it’s painful so she tries to convince them to do little things instead. Amelia switches between them, but they live only ten minutes from each other so it’s not a big deal. Both are healthier because they do know love. They are both somewhat guarded - but trying to start anew. They will even play wing man for each other. I don’t see them hooking up with others as often. Maybe hardly ever. They both feel like they are older so they do want to settle down - but they aren’t going to marry the first person they see.

Abigail wants an equal who will help her in her business. Someone to support her and she wants to support you in return. She secretly loves romance. Loves holding hands, surprise picnic trips, and cuddling. She’s confident, but she can still come across as shy. She wants to make sure you’re serious. I would love to see her paired with a woman in either option. Not for the sake of it, but because I think she would do better with a woman than man. THIS IS MY OPINION.

John takes it a bit harder than Abigail. He did love her. He wants to win her back. So the reader would have to take it slow and be genuine. (Bonus - it never hurts to befriend Abigail here. She will try to help if she sees you truly want him.) He’s a bit insecure and feels like he won’t find anyone else interested in him. He’ feels like he’s too damaged, but he heals over time. He’s more reserved. He still does stupid shit. He still can be rough, but his mindset is a bit more mature. He’s more laid back and kind - in a gruff way. Please be aware that as a father, his daughter is number 1. He feels like it’s too late for him and Jack. This has the potential for more cute moments.

#john marston x abigail marston #abigail marston x reader #john marston x reader #abigail roberts x reader #john marston x oc #Modern AU #Anonymous

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lilacsos · 5 years ago

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Doctor!SOS

(and Awsten Knight)

A/N: I’m actually super excited to introduce this. I’ve been wanting to do a doctor series since I started this blog and now I’m finally doing it. So this post will be the first instalment to the series and it will be the introductions for all the characters and then next post will be the first writing portion. I’ll have everything sectioned off into the boy they deal with. I hope that makes sense. Anyway, here we go! Also sorry this got long.

Taglist Masterlist

Dr. Ashton Irwin

Sacred Heart is often sought after for in-patient care for mental illnesses. This is because of Dr. Ashton Irwin. He started at Sacred Heart when the psych ward was in its early stages. He quickly worked his way up in the rankings and soon became head of the whole department. Although most heads of departments tend to “keep their hands clean”, Ashton doesn’t feel the same. He takes time to check on as many patients as he can. Dr. Irwin has admitted in the past that the reason he pursued a career in mental health is because of his own personal struggle. While it may not seem obvious for an aspiring psychologist to apply to a young, hardly existing department, it made sense to Ashton. He wanted to find a new department because he would have a chance to really make the department his own. There wouldn’t be any preconceptions about the department based on previous doctors. With all his training and work under his belt, Dr. Irwin is excited to welcome his newest intern, Dr. Vanessa Calhoun.

Moving for work has never been very easy but when you’re in the middle of trying to become a doctor, it’s even harder. Dr. Vanessa Calhoun was working on applying for internship programs at her local hospitals for psychology. She decided to send in an application to Sacred Heart, not because she thought she would get in but because it can’t hurt to try. Imagine her shock when she received an email from the Dr. Ashton Irwin. He’s an award-winning psychologist who works at one of the best hospitals in the county, how could she say no? She packed up her life and moved across the country, leaving her friends and family behind. She just hoped it would be worth it. And now it’s her first day and she’s terrified, excited, nervous, and a little lost.

Ashton has a girlfriend. Lucky her. Chloe Owens is possibly one of the luckiest girls on the planet since she gets to kiss and hold Ashton all she wants. She works in the hospital which you think would be a problem for Ashton but it’s not. She’s only a nurse in the P.I.C.U and so Ashton doesn’t technically work with her. But Luke does and he hates her. Not just because she thinks she has special treatment but because she likes to take some of his interns into the on-call room for an “anatomy lesson.”

Dr. Awsten Knight

Dr. Awsten Knight is in his first week of his internship at Sacred Heart Hospital. Awsten graduated top of his class at Dartmouth College. He began his surgical internship hoping that he would get to study under the famous Dr. Leah Rosario, the best attending surgeon at Sacred Heart. While Knight is an amazing surgeon, his cocky attitude will be his downfall. He knows how amazing he is and he uses it to his advantage. He pushes to get the best patients and the best surgeries. His ego has caused all of the attendings and residents to despise him. No one wants to work with him any longer so he’s been sent to work under Dr. Rosario. While that was exactly what he wanted in the first place, Awsten doesn’t know what he’s in for. Dr. Rosario doesn’t take any shit and refuses to allow her interns to be cocky. Awsten is in for quite the ride. Especially since his attending is very attractive.

Dr. Leah Rosario has no time for bullshit. She is a very busy woman and a very busy surgeon. She is one of the attending surgeons at Sacred Heart and she is the best of the best. She is on course to become head of the department possibly within five to seven years. Which is a long time but she’s been through medical school so five years is nothing to her. When Dr. Rosario was first interning at the hospital, so was Calum Hood. The two quickly acknowledged they had feelings for each other and so their fling began. It was a casual, no strings attached relationship that lasted their intern year before they both moved on. Of course, Leah is still a little heartbroken but she has plenty to worry about. Like her current intern Awsten Knight who seems to think he’s hot shit.

Sage Peterson is a surgical intern and she wants to be the best. But Awsten Knight is making that really hard for her. He’s cocky but he’s amazing and while no one wants to deal with him, he gets the best procedures and Sage is sick of it. She has to find a way to knock Awsten down in the ranks and bring herself higher on the list. Maybe if she turns off his pager? Or throw him down a flight of stairs?

Dr. Calum Hood

Cocky doctors are never anyone’s favorite but Dr. Calum Hood has a reason to be cocky. He’s the best neurologist in the state and number four in the country. Calum worked his ass off to move up in the department and at around the same time Ashton became head of psychology, Calum became head of neurology. If anyone in the hospital has to deal with the brain, they come to Calum. Unless it’s an emergency and then they contact him later. But cockiness aside, Calum is amazing at what he does. He has a calming effect on his patients and yet he creates enough stress and worry for his employees so they respect him and do their work well. Calum tends to stay out of surgery now that he runs the department but when his attendings need someone to teach the interns the best way to do their job, Calum is the best person to call. Which does add to his ego but his closest friend, Dr. Rosie Buchanan, is never afraid to knock him down a peg.

Dealing with cancer every day can be hard for anyone but when you’re the best oncologist in the state, everyone wants to see you in case you can save them. But you can’t cure everyone. Dr. Rosie Buchanan has found herself in this position. She worked her way through Sacred Heart Hospital and now she’s the head of the oncology department. She creates treatment plans for every person that walks into her office, sending them to the most capable person in the ward. She sees death around her every day and to cheer herself up, the best trick she’s found is Dr. Calum Hood. They were interns at the same time and while they didn’t see each other very often, he never failed to cheer her up and she never failed to take a shot at his ego.

Evangeline Benton has been working closely with Calum. She’s his number one attending and she totally has the hots for him. She knows its wrong to have a thing for your boss but does it really even matter when Calum hardly works with her? Afterall, he is head of the department and he doesn’t work with her unless she requests him to come by. Which admittedly she does a lot. But of course, he has to have a thing for Buchanan. She’s amazing and his equal and it isn’t fair. Good thing Evangeline can easily steal him away from her with just a quick page about an annoying intern.

Dr. Michael Clifford

Michael Clifford is also just starting his internship at Sacred Heart. Dr. Clifford prefers to work under pressure and since he does so well, he decided that working in the ER would be best for him. He genuinely isn’t too sure exactly where he will go after his year as an intern but he can cross that bridge when he has to. Sacred Heart has a great internship program for those who want to work in the emergency department. Michael is most excited about is getting to do a lot of hands-on experience but he has some fears too. He can’t help but worry about what will happen when he gets a case that he can’t solve. How will he allow a patient to go and pass and then tell the family what happened? Michael is a sweet guy and he wants to save lives but as his resident Dr. Olivia Mercer continues to remind him, you can’t save everyone.

Dr. Olivia Mercer works in the ER at Sacred Heart and she’s currently a trauma resident. She’s been in the company for a while and she loves her job. Although it’s hard sometimes too. This is her first day as a resident and it’s also her first year with interns following her around. She still takes orders from her attending but she is beginning to make the rules. The first thing she has to tell her interns is going to be the most important information they learn this year. It was the only thing that kept her going during her intern year. “You can’t save everyone.” When there was a patient she couldn’t save, this was the only thing that allowed her to move on and try to save someone else. The ER isn’t for the faint of heart and luckily for her, her heart is made of stone and can take quite a beating. Maybe she should see a cardiologist?

Eric Morton is Olivia’s shitty boyfriend. While he doesn’t cheat on her (that we know of) like Ashton’s girlfriend, he doesn’t think Olivia’s job is important. He gets mad when she’s gone all night and day at work, complaining that she’s never home to cook or clean for him. It’s easy to tell why he’s a shithead but Olivia doesn’t see it. He was her first love and she feels like she could never make it without him. And he knows this. Eric knows that no matter what he does, Olivia will still be at his beck and call. Hopefully, the poor girl can find someone that actually loves her.

Dr. Luke Hemmings

Dr. Luke Hemmings has possibly the best and the worst job in the hospital. Hemmings is one of the attendings in the P.I.C.U or the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit. His job is amazing because he gets to work with patients aged from infants all the way up to 17-year-olds. Often times, Luke will have to send in specialists for the children that need specific care but that doesn’t stop him from always checking on them. He adores children and the best part of his day is getting to tell the parents and the child that everything will be fine and the child will be home soon. But on the other side of the coin, there are some kids that Luke just can’t fix. There are kids that come in with stage four brain cancer and the only thing he can do for the child and parent is to give them a room to say goodbye in. It’s all very hard for him but he can always count on Dr. Marjorie Webb to comfort him.

Dr. Marjorie Webb thinks that she has the best job in the whole hospital. She’s an OB/GYN and a great one at that. Expectant parents are always requesting for her to be their doctor and deliver their baby. She has the highest successful birth rate in the hospital but because of this, she’s constantly booked. She’s started to only accept high-risk pregnancies while the other OB/GYNs take the more “routine” births. Dr. Webb started at the hospital around the same time that Dr. Hemmings did and the two became close to the other when Luke couldn’t save a four-year-old girl with seizures. Marjorie took Luke to the nursery and the two held newborn babies while Luke poured his heart out. Ever since that day, the two have been extremely close and Luke always knows he can come to her (and the baby room) when he needs some cheering up.

Jayden Ruiz just started as an attending in the N.I.C.U and he works very closely with Dr. Webb. Whenever there is a newborn that needs intensive care, he’s the first person she calls, since obviously he’s the best at his job. Sometimes she even offers her knowledge to him in order to try and save a baby. But of course, she has a thing for Hemmings. There’s a reason all the women on the birthing ward call him Dr. Hunky. He’s handsome, great at his job, and loves kids. But fuck that guy! Jayden is great too and now he just needs Marjorie to see that.

Tags:

@lustingfor5sos @mycollectionofnuts @ohhmuke @softboycal @norawashere @who-do-you-love-5sos @aftermidnightclifford @buggy-blogs @astrosashton @katiaw2 @littlesinnersins @bbyboyycal @rosecoloredash

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fangsmyth · 5 years ago

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100 character development questions || no longer accepting

to save time and space imma be real and just... shove these all in one post under a read more because i got a LOT of these ( tysm!! i love talking about this piece of shit literally ask me anything any time any day of the week i’d be happy to answer )

sooo here we go!

nsfw and unsanitary mentions under the cut

@haemoneiron sent:

002. Do they do anything to celebrate their birthday?

ehhh he’ll call it a celebration, but lanque really doesn’t do much of anything different from what he normally does. he probably won’t even vocalize the fact that it’s his wriggling day, just look around to see if anyone’s already throwing a party that he can crash. if not, on alternia he probably just drank heavily in his room and played edm way too loudly.

here, he’ll probably just go to some bar and fuck somebody. so... what he does pretty much every day

016. What is their choice of weapon?

teeth! teeth! teeth! teeth! teeth! no fr if he had to pick an actual physical weapon it’d probably be a knife or a dagger, definitely something sharp and intimate...... like teeth. i say a lot that lanque isn’t a fighter but he can and will kill if he needs to

044. What disgusts them?

mainly just bad kinks! bad kinks being scat, vomit, piss, and inc*st/p*dophilia i know that’s everyone but what he considers genuinely revolting is just that specific. also people that don’t really bathe/clean themselves

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@anglerfishnabe sent:

031. Are they superstitious about anything?

ehhh, nah i feel like lanque will see a string of bad luck as a sign that he should just go home for the rest of the day, but i don’t think it would reach much further than that. he’s definitely into people that are superstitious, and taking advantage of ‘signs from the universe’ and shlocky stuff like that, but i don’t think he really personally believes in all of that stuff. lanque is a lot of things, but spiritual is not one of them

034. What’s their view of lying?

he doesn’t see the problem in little white lies that won’t hurt anyone, especially if it gets him what he wants. ( see him HONESTLY trying to tell mspa reader he’s a virgin )

but if people lie about things that will have reaching consequences that will hurt other people, that’s just... really shitty. he does this very rarely if he’s especially desperate to get some sort of reaction out of someone, but generally speaking when he wants to hurt people and make them feel bad about themselves he points out truths based on what he gauges from observation.

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@feraldeus sent:

013. Have they ever been bullied or teased?

yes! very much so! a lot! to the bitter end, actually! his entire cloister does have valid complaints like how he probably comes back drunk a lot of the time and has a tendency to stir the pot just to see what happens, but lynera honest to god just... hates him so much because of all the attention he garners from bronya she tended to shit talk him behind his back.

i’d imagine part of his reason behind finding it so important to be honest with how he tears someone in half is because of how much it secretly hurt him that lynera spread the occasional lie attempting to leave bronya thinking he’s beyond saving.

not only that, but i’d imagine when he was younger he probably got picked on a lot for crying and being so emotionally vulnerable and open which is why he’s so guarded now!

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@haruakifusaishi sent:

012. What makes your character embarrassed?

openly and honestly expressing his feelings as shown in the above. generally any positive, warm feelings towards anyone are humiliating as all hell and not in the kinky way. he hates being caught being sappy or expressing romance in the sweet way he does behind closed doors.

with that, honestly if anyone that knows him for his sex drive and general hedonistic tendencies found out about his poetry readings or pretty much any of his written poetry he’d just die! that’d be the end for him!

068. How strong is your character’s sense of responsibility? What kinds of things trigger it?

lanque never feels responsibility for himself or the need to own up to his own actions at all, honestly. his entire kink is being sexy and irresponsible. he primarily feels a sense of responsibility for others’ actions significantly more than his own.

like if he witnesses someone being dishonest or just doing something generally shitty, he feels like it’s his responsibility to call them out since no one else has the balls to do it. if it looks like someone’s going to put themselves in danger, he’ll warn them. if he cares enough about them, he might go out of his way to physically drag them out of it.

it’s all in the moment things, his responsibility is never thought about or premeditated in any way!

073. In a novel, what plot role would your character fill? (hero, anti-hero, sidekick, villain, etc.)

ehhhh i wanna say anti-hero, but at the same time that could be me being inherently biased. i feel like it’d be significantly more interesting if he were a foil for any protagonist, i just seriously doubt he’d ever be the main character in anything as much as he would have the bravado of someone that wants to be?

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@enradiant sent:

026. What do they consider ugly in others personality-wise?

lying fake bitches!!!! people that try to suck up to people just to get a leg up on others!!!!!! hypocrites!!!!!!! shitheads that aren’t at least a little self-aware!!!!!!!!!!! people that ask too many questions, fuck off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

027. What is their idea of perfect happiness?

oh god that’s a good question can i take a raincheck i dunno, just a life without any kind of fear or anger? having a perfect soulmate that’s willing to do whatever? everything is going the right way? ultimately he feels perfect happiness is impossible and unrealistic since happiness is never constant and sustainable? uuuugh tbh it’s probably something he’d never consider because he thinks it’s so dumb and not gonna happen

059. List several phrases your character is fond of uttering. Where did they pick them up?

i only use like one of these but let’s play in the space and add some lines i should definitely be using more

“ hey, baby. ” i guarantee you he got this from some movie or game i just can’t put my finger on which one. i hear it so clearly in my head every time i type it out i just hear some chick’s voice i just can’t put my finger on who it is she’s high pitched and horny i just know it’s not catherine it’s either jessie from huniepop or one of her lines in huniecam studio i’m so fucking stupid

“ will you help me feel alive? ” or something along those lines, i feel like it was from some vampire drama on the cw can you tell that i don’t know anything this is just the single sexiest line in his fucking route i’m so angry about it my pants were already off

“ it’s one thing to not want something. it’s another to be told you can’t have it. ” i cheated this one’s from how i met your mother i’m a fucking asshole but he would totally say something in this wheelhouse either to himself or to someone he’s trying to convince

“ we’re only alive once. ” a classier way of saying yolo don’t fucking @ me

“ vampires are always in some kind of trouble. i prefer to be in it with you. ” this is a weekly reminder that i really need to watch true blood

“ i’m all yours, do whatever you want to me. ” it’s jessie huniepop again please he’s just so horny

074. What is your character’s favorite game?

would it be cheesy to say the game/art of pick-up artistry? like convincing people he’s worth their time and that they really wanna forget about their troubles if only for just one night? i feel like lanque finds a lot of fun in the thrill of the chase! he's usually extremely disappointed by how rare it is for someone to actually leave him satisfied, but the last thing he wants to do is consider something a waste of time. sometimes you gotta find the fun

076. How do they express anger?

he doesn’t, or at least not in terms of any sort of emotional projection. lanque isn’t usually someone to hide if something pissed him off. he’ll wait for someone to realize, and if they don’t and/or keep doing the thing he’ll just tell them ‘hey this was really shitty, stop it.’

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@plumbacks asked:

011. How would your character court the person of their dreams?

as in how he would act in the relationship? terribly. lanque is already really bad in regular relationships and flings, but when he’ll find the one he will be an absolutely deliberate fucking mess. he’ll dig up information just to use it against them, try and express every single one of their flaws (even when they’re flaws he actually kind of likes) he will do anything to get out of that relationship.

he’ll use his poetry as a last resort, intentionally trying to come across as overly possessive and clingy (i mean he already is, but i’m talking like yuri doki doki levels. an intentional exaggeration of his clingyness to attempt to scare them off) but when they just accept it and say that it’s fine, he’d probably blow up at first!

lanque would break up with them!!! all the time!!! the worst on again off again relationship ever!!! it would take a ton of patience for someone that he really adores to get settled into the more genuine, sappy romance he really wants to have. taking them out on trips to the countryside, laughing and sharing picnics with fine wine, discussing books and even trying to write ones together

but getting to that point will take ages! it’s not worth it!!!

#ginger lemon radler ( ooc ) ;;#yeah right ( ask ) ;;#angelic voices ( hc ) ;;#plumbacks #enradiant #haruakifusaishi #feraldeus #anglerfishnabe #haemoneiron

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leothelionsaysgrrrr · 6 years ago

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OC Love Types

Tagged by @heraldofwho!

Tagging @bladeverbena, @lavellanlove, @saphyremelodies, @thereluctantinquisitor, @fleshwerks, @sirinial, @vhyral and anyone else who wants to do it. No pressure, as always. ❤️

Quiz is here.

Emma Sparrow

The Scientist (INTJ)

In love, you tend to be very private and withdrawn - even when things are going well. You don't open up easily.

For you, kissing and hugging are important in a happy relationship. They are less important when things aren't going well.

Overall, you are confident, intelligent, and serious about commitment. You don't do flings or casual relationships well.

However, you tend to hold back and not show your emotions. You think your actions should speak for themselves.

Best matches: ENFP and ENTP

——

So much yes.

Emma doesn’t love often. When she does, she loves greatly, with everything she has, and it can overwhelm her. It takes a lot to get her to open up, and even when she does it’s sometimes more harmful than helpful. She holds a lot in, either for her partner’s sake or because she just honestly has no idea how to express it. There are a lot of things related to emotion, especially love, that she just doesn’t understand. She can’t put her feelings into words well, so she lets her actions - physical affection and small gestures, little differences in the way she behaves - speak her love for her.

Eren Lavellan

The Protector (INFJ)

In love, you strive to have the perfect relationship. You have an ideal clearly in your mind.

For you, relationships are nearly a spiritual experience, a bonding of souls. You don't take anything lightly.

Overall, you have high expectations for any relationship you're in. You don't want to have or be anyone's second choice.

However, you tend to hold back a part of yourself. You don't want to give your all until you're entirely sure.

Best matches: ENTP and ENFP

——

Also very accurate.

Eren, before he met Emma during the Inquisition, had never actually been in a relationship of any kind, and all of this is exactly why, in addition to just being a massive workaholic who doesn’t really like anyone in general. He either didn’t give himself time to think about relationships, let alone have one, or he felt starting one with someone who wasn’t the “right” someone would be a waste of his time. For him to be in a relationship with someone, they have to understand that he has things he wants from his own life, the biggest of which is respect and recognition on his own merit, independently of his brother or father or blood or associations or anything else, and he is unwilling to compromise them just for the sake of being with someone. There has to be something very special between him and another person for him to even consider that he might desire them romantically, and he’s very discerning about what that means.

Tasalin Lavellan

The Executive (ENTJ)

In love, you seek relationships that you can grow and learn from. You couldn't be with someone who wasn't your equal.

For you, love should always be exciting and experimental. You don't want a relationship to get stale.

Overall, you are bright, energetic, and helpful. You light up a room, and many people are drawn toward you, even romantically.

However, you tend to be challenging and confrontational. You won't let a problem fester in a relationship - you address it.

Best matches: INTP and ISTP

——

Yep.

A lot of what drew Tas to his wife, Falani, is what this says: she’s an equal with whom he can learn and grow, and he has. He’s loved her for a long time, almost 15 years by the Conclave, and their love is every bit as exciting and fun as it was when they were younger. Of course people are drawn to him as the Inquisitor, quite often, but he’s fiercely devoted. He absolutely isn’t the sort to let problems fester, either. Not just with Falani, but with anyone who means anything to him.

Rexus Leventis

The Doer (ESTP)

In love, you are charming, and known for sweeping people off their feet.

For you, kissing is fun and a great way to be in the moment with someone. You love to kiss.

Overall, you are witty, generous, and flirtatious. You are a very fun partner to be around.

However, you tend to ignore conflict and get bored with people easily. Your sweetie needs to be as dynamic as you are.

Best matches: ISFJ or ISTJ

——

This is all pretty spot on, but “you tend to ignore conflict and get bored with people easily” is the truest true thing about Rex ever.

The best way to tell Rex has actually gone and fallen in love as opposed to just another one night stand is when he doesn’t ignore how shitty he’s been to someone, and he doesn’t get bored of them. Of course, once he realizes he’s in love he absolutely hates it, tries his best to convince himself and the other person that that is not in any way, shape, or form the case. The right person for him has to know how to see through and call him out on his bullshit instead of just letting it fester until he becomes unbearable.

Silver

The Protector (INFJ)

In love, you strive to have the perfect relationship. You have an ideal clearly in your mind.

For you, relationships are nearly a spiritual experience, a bonding of souls. You don't take anything lightly.

Overall, you have high expectations for any relationship you're in. You don't want to have or be anyone's second choice.

However, you tend to hold back a part of yourself. You don't want to give your all until you're entirely sure.

Best matches: ENTP and ENFP

——

This one is perfect for Silver because of one sentence: “you don’t want to have or be anyone’s second choice.” Silver is deeply offended by the idea that someone is settling for him, and he won’t settle for just anyone either. Relationships are a touchy enough subject with his line of work - partners getting jealous of clients, clients being jealous of partners, clients wanting to be partners, the list goes on and on. For him to want one in the first place requires someone very, very special to him, someone who really is a kind of kindred soul. And the part about holding back some of himself is spot on, too. It is a rare thing that a person exists with whom he feels comfortable being Adrian.

#thanks for the tag! :)#these were fun #oc: emma sparrow #oc: eren lavellan #oc: tasalin lavellan #oc: rexus leventis #oc: silver #i didnt do lux because he doesnt do romantic relationships #but his regular mbti type is enfp which explains why he and emma’s friendship works so well i guess?

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emperorsfoot · 6 years ago

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YJ Fic #7: “Rebound”

Originally posted on FanFiction.Net on 6/2/12

This one is actually really shitty, so I’m glad I’m posting it during a time when there’s not a lot of traffic. Gives me the opportunity to bury it under other posts before anyone has the chance to see it.

Anyway...

This was originally written before Lagoon Boy got decent screen time and spoken lines. Back when he was still more of a background prop for M’gaan to use to make Superboy uncomfortable.

I mention this because Lagoon Boy is super out of character in this fic.

But I hope you manage to enjoy it anyway.

Summary: “His Angel-fish always seems to moan just a bit louder when Superboy's in the room. -ONESHOT-”

Rebound:

She's my wonderful beloved Angle-fish. M'gann… She sweet-tempered and good-natured. She loves her brother and cares for the Team almost like she's everyone's big sister. But she doesn't kiss like a sister. Oh, no. Not. At. All.

Her kisses the measured, passionate but controlled sort of kisses that leave a man wanting more when she pulls away. …So much more. They're the kind of kisses that almost compel me to beg for more. To get on my knees, press my fins together and plead 'Please, Angel-fish, I need you!' And then when she moans! Neptune's Beard! When she moans… It just makes me want to pick her up, carry her to a room –hers or mine, it doesn't matter- and do all sorts of less-than-honorable things with her.

And yet… I cannot help but notice that she always seems to kiss a bit harder or moan a little bit louder whenever the Superboy is around. –Almost as if she were trying to put on a little show for him.

I asked her about it once, very early in our relationship, in fact. But she denied it. Why would she be exaggerating her feelings for me whenever he was around? She had asked. I was the one she was with. When we are together, it's just about us. Other people are immaterial. This was exactly what I wanted to hear, so I believed her instantly and didn't give it any more thought.

Then I learned that she and the Superboy used to be lovers before I joined the Team.

It was her brother whom told me. –Let it slip was more like it. As if her dating history were supposed to be kept secret.

I wanted to try and get to know the boy better, Garfield Logan, because above all others on the Team (myself included) my Angel-fished cared for him the most. So I endeavored to ingratiate myself to the boy. I admit that I found –and still fined- the overly energetic shape-shifter to be a tad obnoxious. But we both love his sister, and so we both agreed to spend the day together.

It was as we were walking along the beach, the waves lapping at my feet, his zigzagging all over the place changing into crabs, and gulls, and all manner of beach and tide-pool dwelling creatures, that the slip occurred. He was telling old stories about the Team –the first Team. Most of the names were just that, names. I had never met Kid Flash or Artemis and so could not put faces to their names. Kaldu'ram I though I had known very well and still did not believe what Nightwing had told us about him.

I paused in my trail of thought as the boy's last few words sunk into my skull. Lifting my head I did a double take. "What did you say?"

"KF and Arty walked onto the bio-ship and found Conner and sis making out in the captain's chair." Gar repeated in a bit of an irritated huff. Children tended to act that way when they thought the adults around them weren't paying attention.

Then I asked the stupidest question that ever escaped my lips since finishing puberty. "Why was Angel-fish kissing Superboy?"

The little shape-shifter's hands went to his mouth in a near perfect imitation of the 'Speak no Evil' monkey and his eyes went wide. He didn't say it out loud, but I could clearly read it in his face. If M'gann hadn't already told me, then she hadn't wanted me to know and Gar had just let slip something that was supposed to be a secret.

Suddenly, it all made so much more sense. She did kiss harder when he was around. She did moan louder when he was in earshot. She was putting on a show for him. The realization left me with the question of 'Why?' screaming through my mind. Followed closely by, 'Why did she lie when I confronted her about it weeks ago?'

I pondered those two questions the entire rest of the day and when we came back in, I confronted her about it directly. Two simple and pointed questions that summarized my feelings completely.

"Why didn't you tell me you and Superboy dated? Are you just using me to make him jealous?"

There then ensued the first fight we ever had. It was also the longest fight we've had to date.

She called be nosy and over-bearing with no right to pry into her past. I said she was being secretive and that made everything she did suspect. We both said things we regretted. Feelings were hurt. Apologies were made. Things were explained. Some things were understood. Other things I think I will forever be confused about. Most things were forgiven.

But, after much fishing on my part, M'gann finally confessed that –at the onset of our relationship- she had been using be to get back at Superboy. He had been the one to break-up with her and she harbored some resentment towards him because of it. (I did not ask why he broke-up with her.) I told her that she was still my Angel-fish and I loved her, but I refused to be a pawn in her romantic battles with an ex-lover.

M'gann nodded gravely and admitted that I was just supposed to be a fun little fling. She hadn't meant to develop true feelings for me, it just happened. She hadn't tried to use me against the Superboy in several weeks –at least not to her conscious knowledge. That was good enough for me. –At least, for the time being.

Something about the situation still continued to bother me, though.

It wasn't any one thing I could put my finger on. It was just an abstract feeling. A slight chill in the room while we would be cuddling on the couch watching TV. A tingling on the back of my neck or even down my spine when we would sometimes kiss. …And then a punch that landed perhaps a bit harder than was necessary for a simple training exercise. I massaged my throbbing jaw and gazed up at my sparring partner for that session as if seeing him for the first time.

I had come to terms with and made peace with the fact that M'gann had first been trying to use me against him when we stared dating. It had been a conversation spoken between she and I. A peace made between she and I. But there was a third factor that I hadn't considered. A third person I had completely failed to acknowledge.

I waved off the hand Superboy offered to help me up and climbed to my feet myself. Only aster I was once again on an eye level with him did I realize he probably took it as a snub. I should have let him help me, since he knew he had hit harder than he should have (and with his strength, that was not a habit he could allow himself to have). I did not exactly avert my eyes from his, but I did realize for the first time just how unearthly a shade of blue they were and for the first time since joining the Team, I was intimidated.

"Do you know what you did wrong?" He asked.

I looked back up at him startled. Were we really gonna have this confrontation right here?

"You extended your stance to far." Continued the Superboy. "It left your whole left side open. If this had been a real fight, you'd be dead."

Right. Training.

I relaxed and rejoined the others on the edge of the ring.

"Cass! Front and center!" He continued with the lesson as if nothing had happened, and perhaps from his end nothing had.

It was entirely possible that that punch had simply been a miscalculation on his part and not a passive-aggressive attempt to bate me into doing or saying something I'd regret. Come to think of it, from the little I knew of him, Superboy wasn't really a subtle guy. He didn't do 'subtext'. If he had a problem with you, he would state it outright. Not throw sucker-punches when he could get away with it and then sit and seethe when he couldn't.

Still, I resolved to confront him all the same.

Not about the punch. I didn't really care about it that much. But about M'gann. I felt there were words that needed to be spoken between us. It felt almost like one of those strange 'Bro Code' things that is often talked about here on the surface. Truth be told, I'm not to familiar with the concept. I just wanted to make sure one of the senior members –a man was could be considered a mentor (by proxy)- didn't hate my guts. Especially not one with Superman-like powers. I enjoy keeping all my internal organs on the inside. Thank you.

It was several more days until I actually worked up the courage to talk to the man, however.

What can I say? Sometimes I'm as cowardly as a catfish.

I found him laying on the beach –sunbathing. It had taken me the longest time after joining the Team to figure out why he did this, he never tanned. His skin was always the same uniform shade of olive. It never darkened, never blemished. Then someone reminded me that kryptonians gained their powers from Earth's yellow sun. Duh! In the words of my beloved Angel-fish, 'Hello, La'gaan!'

It was approaching afternoon, the sun just beginning to dip closer to the land. My shadow fell over him as I approached.

One crystal-blue eyelid cracked open and stared up at me. I froze in my step.

"You're blocking my sun."

"Sorry!" I quickly jumped to the side.

He said nothing more, his eye once again closing. I felt like I should leave him, let him recharge his solar batteries (or whatever) in peace. But I had come out here for a reason. It was just him and me on the beach. Now was the perfect time to have the conversation I felt were had to have.

I sat down in the sand.

It was low-tide, the waves were nowhere near me and I suddenly wished to feel the comforting cool waters of the sea flowing around me.

He did not sit up, did not even open his eyes when he asked, "Did you want something?"

"No." The word is out of my mouth so quickly I'm unable to stop it. Then I quickly amend, "Yes."

Then I shut up because I'm sounding like an idiot.

Now he does sit up. More of a lean actually. Propping himself up on his elbows, his almost luminous blue eyes fixed me with a sidelong glance, silently asking, 'What do you want?'

There is a beat of silence between us as I realize I have no idea what I wanted to say. Words needed to be spoken between us, this I knew. But what those words actually were was really just an abstract idea in my head. Finally, I decided to just be honest and speak from the heart. It's what my King would have told me to do –had he still been on the planet at the time.

"Superboy, I- I feel as if I should apologize to you." I begin, feeling every bit the fool as it is possible to feel.

"For blocking my sun?" He asks. "You already did."

"No, I…" I'm stuttering like newly spawned guppy and clamp my jaw shut quickly. A moment later I've gathered my thoughts more coherently and begin again. "About M'gann. I want to apologize if my behavior ever offended you. I only recently found out you two had dated."

"I know." He laid back down in the sand. "Gar told me."

"You're not mad?" I ask, skeptical of his calm exterior. I know he is not the subtle type, but I've also been told that he can hold grudges and brood quietly for almost immeasurable expanses of time. I'd rather not have a powerful demi-kryptonian secretly loathing my existence if I can help it.

He once again cracked one eye open at me. "You are not the one who tried to manipulate me into making a scene –several times."

"You knew?"

He smiled up at the sky. "Well, I did kinda date her for four years. It's a little hard to sleep with someone for one thousand and sixty-one days and not get to know them."

"You slept together?"

Stupid question. I knew my Angel-fish was no virgin. We may not have made it that far just yet, but she was far to good a kisser to have never gone farther. Her tongue was to experienced. Her moans to practiced. Superboy young and fit, perpetually in the onset of his prime… of course they had slept together.

That smile changed to a knowing smirk, but he did not look at me when he said, "That's a loaded question."

He was right. And, I quickly realized that, while I might already have guessed the answer, I did not want to hear it. Instead, I returned to the original reason for my coming here. "Will you accept my apology?"

The Superboy missed one… two… three beats before –still not looking at me- he said, "No."

I would be lying if I said this answer did not shock me. He said it with such a calm serenity to his voice, I almost didn't register it as a negative. When my brain finally did process it, all I could say in response was, "Why?"

Now he did look at me once again. The Superboy sat up properly, not propped up on his elbows, but cross-legged –lotus position- in the sand. His crystal gaze was leveled with mine when he asked, "Do you know what it is you're apologizing for?"

My answer was right on the edge of my lips, but I found myself hesitant to answer. Finally, I said, "When we started dating, I was just a rebound. M'gann wanted to make you jealous and she was using me to further that goal. I guess… I'm apologizing for the part that I played in that."

Superboy nodded, not in acceptance but in understanding. Then he continued, "And did you know that's what she was doing before hand? Did you agree to participate in her scheme knowing her intentions?"

"No!" I'm quick to assure him.

"Then you are not the one who needs to apologize." He laid back down in the sand. "It's hot out here, go take a dip in the water so you don't dry out."

It made me feel like a child when he said this and I admit, I was reluctant to comply. But he was right. Sitting in the hot sun on the dry part of the beach isn't exactly the best thing for Atlantian physiology.

I sprint into he waves and splash around for a bit before sitting under the surface and just breathing in the wonderful salty water. I don't really like the waters close to populated centers; it always has a very… unnatural scent to it. But Happy Harbor isn't quite s bad as other places like, say, Los Angeles or New York, and breathing water always comes easier than breathing air.

I take the opportunity to swim a few short laps around the bay. When I come back to the beach behind Mount Justice the sun had dipped low behind the ridge and Superboy is nowhere to be found. That was fine, I supposed. He said I had nothing to apologize for, so I assume that meant that he held no animosity towards me.

It didn't occur to me until I reentered the base that I never got the chance to ask him why he broke-up with her in the first place…

…

END

#lagoon boy #Superboy #Young Justice #season 2 #lagoonmartian #supermartian #RenkonNairu #fan fic #old fic #repost

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thekrazykeke · 7 years ago

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Title: Best I Ever Had

Fandom(s): Black Panther, MCU

Relationship(s): T’Challa x reader. T’Challa & Okoye. Reader x OC. Ayo & reader.

Request: Any time I read a story about Reader fucking up or not doing right by Tchalla she’s either evil or he just leaves her crying in the dust. I want a fic where she fucks up but apologizes, confesses how much she really loves him and is just scared, and HE. FORGIVES. AND LOVES. HER. And she shows him how much she loves him...wink wink. Basically what we do for Erik in these docs where he fuck up but we forgive him! Except Reader and his level of fucked up! Thank you!

Requester: Anonymous

Summary: I’m not afraid of commitment. I’m afraid of surrendering control too quickly, of putting my heart in hands that do not know how to hold it.

Warning(s): Angst, bad decisions, fluff

(Suffer with me) @adiafegan @wikiwakanda @melaninmarvel

Honestly, T’Challa is a cinnamon roll and if anyone’s unhappy in a relationship, just end it. I give that advice every time, you do more damage staying with somebody who you honestly don’t even like because you scared to be alone/lonely. That’s fucked up, so just let that person go, let them be with someone who can appreciate them. Anywho! I know it’s probably implied in the request about ‘Erik’s level of fucked up’ meaning she is supposed to be having an affair/cheating but I couldn’t go through with the whole thing because I’ma sucka.

#CheatersNeverProsper

You had been born in a country that didn’t want you and fighting against a system designed to keep you at the bottom, scrambling for scraps. Being black in America meant that from jump street, you’re at a disadvantage. Even more so, you’re a black woman, and that comes with it’s own set of stereotypes and little boxes to be checked off so other minorities and Caucasians can feel justified in their treatment of you.

Be too loud, then you hood. Talk too soft, then you shy, overlooked. Dress conservatively, you a square. Show some skin and you a ho. So what do you do with these mixed messages thrown in your face all the time?

Not give a fuck!

Or at the very least, master the art of pretending to not give a fuck.

Mama taught you to be independent and how to take care of yourself, pay your bills on time and be a lady. Daddy had a gambling addiction and while he could be sweet as gold, the pipe dream of hitting big and being a millionaire is too tempting for him to kick; you learned that some people are just lost causes.

The core lessons stuck.

Throughout your life, you bumped your head, stumbled and got lost trying to find who you are as a person. You lost friends along the way, chasing your dreams. Romanticist to the core but you’d been played too many times to the point where you knew all the tricks; you ended up being the one calling the shots in relationships.

No one had the power to hurt you anymore because you wouldn’t let them.

One night them and move on, that’s the number one rule.

Until T’Challa Udaku.

He swept in your life and thrown everything out of wack. You was used to the hood niggas, fools who wanted you to spread your legs and close your mouth or the hoteps who were fake ‘woke’ and wanted you to be ‘all natural’ and worship them for breathing. Workplace hook ups were entirely too messy. Businessmen, lawyers, doctors, etc. were serious about their craft but they tended to prioritize work over relationships in your limited scope of experience.

This man, though?

He was...He is good.

He treated you with respect, listened to and valued your opinion. Had no issue with spending money on you and wouldn’t complain about the price for anything, opened doors for you and treated you as if you were important, beautiful. T’Challa is one of those rare, one of a kind people and for some reason he wanted you. Can you imagine that? You, one of the many translators that the U.N. had employed but out of everyone there during the press conference where he made history by announcing on live television that Wakanda would be more involved in the world, and share it’s resources, after decades of isolationism, it’s you who caught the attention of a king?

Talk about surreal.

Admittedly, you thought that T’Challa was just after some easy pussy. You wasn’t no ugly bitch, you’re confident enough to say that much, but you didn’t have time for other people’s foolishness, not even, maybe even especially, a king. Thus, you ignored the chemistry between y’all and tried to keep from lusting over his sexy, polite ass.

It’s an exercise in failure.

The first time you ended up in his bed, or to be specific, in a ritzy upscale hotel and he’s all up in ya guts, hitting your G-spot and making you see stars, the morning after, you blamed it on being drunk even though all you did was nurse a beer all night. You tried to sneak up outta there without causing a scene but the Dora Milaje caught you; Okoye didn’t think much of you but your presence seemed to amuse Ayo, her amusement growing when T’Challa joined y’all in the hallway and dismissed them. He wanted to see you again and you made up an excuse for why you couldn’t, or so you tried. It’s a little hard to stick to your guns when he’s french kissing you so sensually and skillfully, reminiscent of when his tongue had played wit yo punani...

Long story short, he’d gotten his way, much to your (delayed) irritation.

Again and again, y’all linked up and the dicking down that you got is always good. Your prerogative is to keep your distance and although you had tried, there’s just something about T’Challa that drew you in, made the walls around your heart trembled and shivered with the need, the want to come down and let him in, especially when he’s open with you. Somehow this had been going on for a month before he asked you if you would date him and despite your misgivings, despite the instinctive response to deflect and retreat, you told him yes. Yes, you told him even though you wouldn’t allow him to come to your house. Or meet any family members. Yes, you told him and while you liked him, truthfully, you’re sprung and in love, you still tried to remain a sense of separation, of independence because that’s all you knew and the rings of self-preservation crawled up your spine every day that you spent at his side and he proved to be a genuinely good man.

Good men didn’t love like damaged women such as you.

The two of y’all had been together for just under four months now and it’s clear that he wants more. Hell, he deserves more, deserves better. And part of you wants to give in and trust that T’Challa will catch you, each time your mouth opens to throw caution to the wind, you become frozen and chicken out. Maybe it’s that type of vulnerability which Sebastian DeMarco, your ex, sensed and capitalized on, suggesting that y’all get drinks and catch up while he’s in town. Any other day, you’d have refused, cited work, going to church on Sunday, or any other random thing you could think up.

No, not this time, this time, you said yes. And you didn’t tell T’Challa about it. You said that you were working late and that you’d see him tomorrow. He’d texted back an affirmative, the response a little more clipped than usual since y’all had gotten into an argument earlier.

For the first time in awhile, you didn’t think about anything or anyone’s feelings, let alone your own. You got turnt the fuck up, bih! It was so much fun, so easy to get a rush of this type of energy. Sebastian had always been fun type, wild and carefree, why hadn’t you hung out with him again before now?

Turning to ask him, you blink when his lips are on yours.

Just as you go to shove at his chest and demand what the fuck--

“Y/N.”

Oh. No.

Heart beginning to pound with anxiety, drunkenness starting to wear off, you turn to see that it’s T’Challa and another male, some resemblance to him, possibly his cousin that he sometimes talked about?

“Ba--” You try to take a step toward him while the other guy immediately went after Sebastian (”Wassup, nigga!?” “Whoa, whoa, whoa, bro, I’m just tryna smash!”).

“You told me that you were working late.” T’Challa stated, voice frighteningly blank. “You lied to me.”

“I just needed a night to myself.” The minute to those words leave your mouth, you know it’s a mistake. Hurt flashes across his face before his features become frighteningly blank.

“Do not worry. You can have the rest of your nights to yourself, from here on out, Y/N Y/L/N.” He says in the coldest tone you’ve ever heard from him. “N’Jadaka!” Calling out sharply to the other, at the corner of your eye, you see that Sebastian’s face is a mess of bruises and bloody. “Let us go. We are done here.”

“Nigga, is you forreal?! He kisses yo girl and you letting his punk ass walk away breathing?”

“T’Challa, please.” You try to plea, but he ignores you.

“Now, cousin.” As T’Challa turns to go, you reach out for his hand and he dodges your touch. “Do not---!” Biting back words, he shook his head, disappointed and disgusted.

You stand there, trembling with suppressed emotions, watching as he got further and further away from you, his cousin chewing him out, tears in your eyes and a lump in your throat. Leaving Sebastian groaning on the ground, you find a cafe and have the owner call you a cab. Once you arrive at home, you stand in your empty, lonely apartment. Hand going to your head, you walk past a mirror hanging on the wall, pausing as you catch sight of yourself.

You look shell-shocked, dumbfounded. Like a woman who had the world in her hands but lost it because she was an idiot. A surge of anger flows through you and you yank the mirror off the wall, flinging it.

Shards of glass decorating the wooden floor.

Pressing the heels of your hands into your eyes, you laugh and laugh and laugh. Until you cry. For the longest, you just stand there, shoulders shaking and breath seizing your throat as you tried to be silent in your misery.

And things do not look brighter in the morning. In fact, things look absolutely shitty. Your head hurts because you’re hungover, you can’t talk because your voice is scratchy and you just look like a straight up mess because you fell asleep on the couch, without a bonnet or scarf or nothing.

Wolf Woman is a thing now.

If you had the power of time travel, you’d rewind back to two days ago, when you’re in another fancy hotel room, T’Challa tracing the words, ‘I love you’ into your skin while you were ‘asleep’. You cry in the shower because of that. You cry while making breakfast.

You cry before you leave out for work.

Sebastian calls you while on break and you let it go straight to voicemail. Then delete his number and contact info that he’d snuck into your phone yesterday. God, was it really just yesterday when your whole world came crashing down? Fingers hovering over the buttons, you stare at the screen for a new text message, leg bouncing up and down with anxiety. What do you say, what could you say? Exhaling roughly, you send him the address to your apartment and turn off your cellphone, because you’re a coward.

Even now you’re trying to protect yourself from more pain and rejection.

If he doesn’t show up, he doesn’t show up. You’ll accept it. Leave his life and let him move on with someone else. That’s what a good person would do, right? Right, and you’re trying to be better. Throughout the day, you try to focus, but it’s pointless as your mind keeps going back to him and you know your boss is irritated by your behavior but you’re not called out on it, thankfully.

When you get home, it’s not T’Challa waiting for you, but Okoye and Ayo.

You’re barely able to get a foot out of the car before the General of the Dora Milaje is on you and not in a sexy way, but in a threatening, I will end you type of manner. Her elbow is braced against your throat, applying pressure and she smacks the shit out of you more than once. Literally, you don’t think you have any taste left in your mouth or feeling in your face before Ayo pulls her off.

“Have you no shame?!” The fierce, bald woman demanded, her eyes wild, angry.

“General...General, stop.”

“You think that because he is soft for you that you can treat our king in any manner--” Ayo blocks her before she can lunge at you again. “I should kill you!”

“I just want to see him.” You say, calm and even toned, heart racing with adrenaline.

“And you think you have the right?!” Okoye presses a hand on Ayo’s shoulder, about to push her aside but Ayo isn’t budging. “I knew you were not right for him...I told him, I knew it!”

Before you can come up with something witty or smart-alecky to get another smack across the face, “That is not up to you.”

Okoye ceases trying to murder you for the moment, “Kumkani...”

Ayo hesitantly let her go.

“We will discuss this breach of trust and insubordination later.” T’Challa says calmly, as if he hadn’t just probably witnessed that embarrassing one sided fight. “Dismissed.”

“Kumkani...” Disbelief coats Okoye’s voice and features. Ayo, however, merely crossed her arms in the Wakandan salute, marching away. “T’Challa, are you really going to just forgive...” Looking at you with disgust, she closes her mouth, curtly nodded before she also saluted and marched away.

Silence lingers between the two of you for several seconds.

“Do you want to...come in? Talk, maybe.”

“I do not think that is the best idea.” T’Challa stated, clipped and short. “I should be going as well. I only followed them because I wanted to know what all the secrecy was about and now I have my answer. It does not interest me.”

“Please, T’Challa...” Hand on his wrist, you’re surprised that he allows this. But also, you’re elated because only a day without him and you think that you’re going crazy. You had spent so long with his arms around you, in constant contact, that now that you’re on you’re own, you’re constantly cold, bereft. “Please, just five minutes. Please.”

T’Challa half turned to face you, looking down at you with a blank expression, “I told you that I was done with you.”

“You’re going to throw away me away for one kiss that I didn’t even initiate?” Again, you’re putting your foot in your mouth. “He kissed me. He kissed me, I didn’t want it.”

He scoffed. “Yet you let him kiss you all the same.”

“I was going to push him away. You came across us before I even got the chance--” His hand is on yours now, he’s trying to get you to let go. “I’m telling the truth, T’Challa, please. If you would just listen to me...”

“You had months to talk to me!” T’Challa shouted. Then when he realized you were staring at him with huge eyes, his normal soft tone returned, “You had months and you chose to just lead me on. Making a fool of me, Okoye was r--”

And you couldn’t stand this anymore. “I was scared, okay?!” Apparently today is the day for dramatic outbursts. “I was t-terrified....of the way...that you make me feel and I...” Vision going blurry with tears, they fell down your cheeks unchecked. “When I get scared, I try and push the problem away but I didn’t want to push you away. And I’m sorry I’m difficult and mean and I don’t always know how to talk about... about anything, but I love you. It’s scary because you see through me sometimes and I can’t...I can’t...” Hiccuping, you let go of his wrists to cover your face, trying to maintain some dignity. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for wasting your time. I’m sorry.”

This is it, the end of the road, sis.

You had made your pitch and now that he’d seen you for the pathetic, waste of space that you are, just like you promised, you’d let him g--

T’Challa gently gripped each of your wrists, moving your hands out of the way. Embarrassment welled through you and in reaction, even more tears fell down your face. You want to stop crying but it’s so difficult and this isn’t cute or right, tears are not to be used like weapons against people that you loved, after all. “...Do you realize that this is most you have confided in me since we met?”

Guilt stabbed through you. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying that.” He lets your wrists go and you let them drop to your sides. “...I was hurt by you kissing that man, yes. Or he kissed you, there is no real difference. But more than that, I was hurt that you lied to me about your whereabouts. I thought I needed time and space away from you, and while I am irritated by Okoye’s actions and interference in my personal matters, her concerns are well placed.”

Swiping at your eyes, you try to get ahold of yourself, “I know.” You bite your bottom lip to avoid apologizing again.

He lifts your chin, making you look at him. “Do you know? Do you understand how cruel you have been to me?” T’Challa doesn’t let you get a word in edgewise and keeps speaking, “We would probably both be better off and better people if we stop seeing each other.” You try and look away but again, he makes you keep eye contact.

“But like the fool that I am, weak as you make me, I still love you.”

Then much to your astonishment, T’Challa is crying too.

You probably look like two idiots, crying outside like that and making gossip for your neighbors, but you don’t care. For once, the facade of being a strong, take no shit type of woman is the last thing on your mind as you blubbered, apologizing over and over again. Eventually though, the two of y’all did migrate to your apartment. The reality that you could have lost him, and very much still could if you didn’t handle your shit like an actual functioning adult and communicate more, hit you full force in the face.

“‘Challa.” Fingers massaging the pulse point of his left hand, you waited until he hummed, showing that he’s listening, “I love you.” Glancing up, you see that the umber skinned male is watching you. Maintaining eye contact, you guide his hand downdowndown, the fabric of your booty shorts the only obstacle, “I love you and I don’t want anyone else to t-t-to...touch me...” Voice stuttering towards the end as his fingers have disappeared underneath the shorts and his long middle finger dips into your puss til the knuckle, sinking in and out, in and out. Hips rising of their accord, wanting more of that touch, still, you tried to stay on script. With shaking, unsteady fingers, you got the zipper of his pants down. When he added another finger, brushing up against your G-spot teasingly, you went a bit cross eyed before you clenched your eyes shut.

T’Challa smacked you on the ass, hard, causing you to flinch and moan. “Do not stop. This is about me right now, not you, and if you cum on my fingers before I am inside you...”

Oh God, the thought of cumming on this man’s fingers. Pulling down his boxers, his dick came free, saluting you practically; your lips find the mushroom head, kissing the tip before swirling your tongue around, collecting pre. You heard him let out a quiet hiss, abdominal muscles tensing and flexing before he relaxed, and rewarded you by adding one more finger. Deciding to be a bit of a tease too, you massaged his balls gently, kissing along either side of his cock for a few seconds and just before he could warn you again, you took him in your mouth. His hand is on the nape of your neck and his hips rose, making you take more and more, relaxing your jaw, you let him use you, fuck your throat.

By now, you’re practically soaking his hand and maybe even the couch.

You could probably cum from this.

As if sensing wayward train of thought, T’Challa removed his fingers and you let his dick fall out of his mouth without being told.

“Come here.” There’s no way that you’d disobey. Half rising up, you straddle his waist, legs thrown over either side of him and you sloowly sink down on his cock. T’Challa’s hands are on your hips, fingers slightly bruising when you’re finally seated and he’s buried to the hilt. You have to pause for a second there because he’s not some small guy. It’s only when you’re squeezing his shoulder and wiggling in his lap does he start thrusting. The rhythm is slow and drawn out, he doesn’t rush to get off and he’s not going to let you off that easy either, you belatedly realize when you shuck off your shirt and his head dips to take a nipple in his mouth.

T’Challa knows your body so well and he has the restraint to edge you over and over again, asking in a calm, almost unruffled tone, who you belong to, who is fucking you so good, and each time, you answer him, all but screaming himhimhim, you belonged to him. And just when you thought that you couldn’t take it anymore, he changed up the game again, delivering short, hard strokes to your G-spot, fucking you so good, so right and when you came all over his dick, screaming his name and probably disturbing your neighbors, but who cared cuz the dick was too bomb-- His spine stiffened and his hips stuttered as you clamped down around him, trying to suck him for every last drop of cum as he came inside you. Leaning heavily against T’Challa’s chest, you can feel his own heart thundered beneath your ear, “I love you.”

You heard him snort.

Then his hand circled the nape of your neck, thumb caressing the skin.

“I love you too.”

Not everything is magically fixed between the two of you, even with the best dick session to help things along, and the both of y’all knew that. But this was a start, y’all were going to work it out, then maybe, hopefully, be better in the future.

#mcu #t'challa #mcu imagine #t'challa imagine #black reader #marvel #t'challa udaku #marvel imagine #t'challa udaku x reader #t'challa x black reader #thekrazykeke

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the-desolated-quill · 7 years ago

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Star Wars: The Last Jedi - Quill’s Quickies (No Spoilers)

This year, Star Wars has been almost mired in controversy. From the loot box controversy in EA’s Star Wars Battlefront II to the noticeable lack of non-white characters in The Last Jedi’s marketing. Rian Johnson making a total prat of himself by claiming that Kylo Ren is a dual protagonist with Rey, and now the reviews are in it turns out Episode 8 is the most divisive movie in the whole franchise, with critics clambering over themselves to praise the movie for its ‘bold new direction’ while the fans decry it as the arse-raping of their collective childhood. On the whole, I’d say this has been a complete and total cock-up.

I had no idea what to expect going in. I’m sure you all know how lukewarm I was about The Force Awakens. It didn’t surprise me in the slightest that the critics were praising the hell out of The Last Jedi considering they were doing the same thing with the previous film, which in my opinion was mediocre at best. The fan reaction surprised me. After all the blind (and arguably undeserved) praise The Force Awakens got, if even the fans are struggling to find good things to say about this movie, something must have gone spectacularly wrong.

So what did I, diehard Star Wars fan and professional arsehole, think of The Last Jedi? Well honestly I’m disappointed I didn’t hate it more. Truthfully I liked this movie about as much as I liked The Force Awakens, which is to say not very much. Like The Force Awakens, it’s a competently made movie and it’s possible to derive some enjoyment from it if you switch your brain off for two and half hours, but otherwise it’s just yet another tired retread of the original Star Wars movies that brings absolutely nothing new to the table. Not for the first time, I feel a real disconnect from the rest of the Star Wars community here. I have no idea why the critics are praising this movie for being a game changer because there’s genuinely nothing very revolutionary or groundbreaking going on here, and I’m confused as to why the fans have chosen to fling their bile and venom at a movie that, in my opinion, is the very definition of average. I mean sure, The Last Jedi isn’t very good and there were some bits that did kind of annoy me, but there’s nothing about it that’s outrageously offensive as far as I can see.

Let’s start with the things I liked. The biggest, shiniest gold star has to go to Finn. He was quite possibly the only new character I was in any way invested in last time around, and he’s just as brilliant here. We see him slowly embrace his new role as a hero of the Resistance and we also see him get the chance to stick it to his First Order oppressors, which I thought was quite emotionally satisfying. He’s joined by Rose, played by Kelly Marie Tran, who I thought was a nice addition to the cast and who undergoes the traditional everyman turned hero journey. I really liked her relationship with Finn and their scenes together are by far the highlight of the film, which makes their subtle erasure from the Star Wars marketing campaign all the more offensive to me because, as far as I’m concerned, they’re the main characters. They were the most developed, the ones I was most invested in, the only ones that actually grow and develop over the course of the film and who pretty much drive the plot.

The other thing I liked (and I can’t believe I’m saying this) is Kylo Ren. I really wasn’t impressed with him in The Force Awakens because he was pretty much just a shitty rehash of Darth Vader, and I mentioned in my review at the time how it might have been better to embrace the more weaselly and slightly pathetic nature of the character to help better distinguish him and give him his own identity. So I’m extremely pleased to see that’s exactly what this film does and it’s great. There’s no pretence anymore. Kylo Ren is this spoilt, impotent man-child that desperately craves power and attention, but doesn’t really know what he wants to do with it, and that’s glorious. That’s just the burst of inspiration the character sorely needed and Adam Driver does a great job with this new material. I’m actually looking forward to seeing where he goes in the next film and if they handle it well, he should make for a very unique antagonist (that’s antagonist Rian Johnson. AN-TAG-GON-NIST).

It’s just a pity that in order to prop up Kylo Ren, Rian Johnson felt the need to completely warp Luke Skywalker’s character into something wholly unrecognisable.

Yes now we come to the bad stuff, and there’s quite a bit. My main gripe is with Luke’s characterisation. In order to justify a lot of the plot, they have to make Luke this cynical halfwit and there are loads of moments where he says or does something that just simply doesn’t ring true with what we already know about him. His reasons for his exile are utterly out of character for one thing and his reasons behind his provocative statement that ‘it’s time for the Jedi to end’ are even more ludicrous. What’s worse is that the majority of the movie is dedicated to Rey trying to persuade Luke to come out of exile and rejoin the fight. Remember the scene in The Empire Strikes Back when Luke tries to persuade Yoda to train him? Well imagine that dragged out for an hour and a half. That’s pretty much the movie in the nutshell. I think that’s part of the reason why I loved Finn and Rose so much. Because it was a blessed relief to get off that fucking island for a while. There were several moments where I came close to dozing off.

I’m sure it’s no secret to anyone by this point that Rian Johnson has played pretty fast and loose with the Star Wars canon. Luke’s odd characterisation is one example. There are a few others. None of them truly insulting in my opinion. But the most notorious is a scene involving Leia, which I will hereby refer to as ‘The Scene.’ This got a lot of Star Wars fans riled up, but I personally thought it was absolutely hysterical just because of how random and idiotically daft it was. I’m not going to tell you what happened in ‘The Scene’ because this is a non-spoiler review. All I can say is you’ll know it when you see it.

Of course this was Carrie Fisher’s last film before her untimely death and that’s incredibly sad. Does The Last Jedi offer a fitting tribute to Princess/General/Queen (she’s a a Queen in my eyes) Leia Organa? Not really. In fact, outside of ‘The Scene’, Leia doesn’t really do anything worthy of comment. Some say she was mischaracterised too, but I don’t think so. At a push, I could see Leia doing some of the things she does. I just wish Fisher could have been given something with actual substance.

My views on Poe and Rey remain virtually unchanged. Poe Dameron is still a one dimensional cardboard cutout and I’m still continuously baffled as to why people like him so much. He doesn’t have a character. We’re two movies in and we still haven’t learnt a single sodding thing about him. Frankly I’ve seen fossils with more life in them. Rey meanwhile is still quite possibly one of the blandest protagonists I’ve ever seen. I’m struggling to find any reason to actually give a shit about her. Why should I be invested in her Jedi training? Why does she even need Jedi training when she seems capable of pulling any random superpower out of her arse at the convenience of the plot? At no point have these films ever given me a reason to care about her. Maybe if they focused more on her looking for her missing parents, I might be slightly more invested. And that’s another thing. In The Force Awakens, her missing parents are basically used as sequel bait. Here (without giving too much away) they’re pretty much just swept under the carpet entirely, which begs the question why was JJ Abrams wasting our time with them in the first fucking place (yes I am blaming JJ Abrams instead of Rian Johnson because Abrams was the one that actually came up with this shit and it’s very much reminiscent of his bullshit ‘mystery box’. The principle where an audience are naturally drawn to some big unknown or mystery and that he frequently utilises in his projects, most notably the TV series Lost. What he often forgets however is that good mysteries tend to have a satisfying fucking answer at the end).

And that’s pretty much all I have to say really. No doubt some of you are disappointed I haven’t quite given The Last Jedi the vengeful pummelling you’ve come to expect from me, but honestly I can’t work up the energy to get properly angry at it, and that’s largely because I’m past caring about this sequel trilogy. I think I’ve made my views on the sequel trilogy quite clear by now (that they’re a soulless cash grab concocted by studio execs who wouldn’t recognise a decent script if one jumped up and bit them on the arse) and I think it’s my total lack of interest that kind of shields me from some of Rian Johnson’s ‘creative’ decisions. These movies don’t count as far as I’m concerned. I’m not especially bothered by Johnson’s ‘reimagining’ and there’s nothing truly terrible going on here. The only crime The Last Jedi is really guilty of in my opinion is that there’s large swathes of it that are just really, really boring. And the main reason for this (apart from the obscenely long running time and a plot that drags its feet) is because, like with The Force Awakens, a lot of this stuff has been done before and done better in the original trilogy. While The Force Awakens ripped off A New Hope and a few elements from The Empire Strikes Back, The Last Jedi rips off The Empire Strikes Back and a few elements from Return Of The Jedi. What makes it slightly more egregious here is that The Empire Strikes Back and Return Of The Jedi are both very emotionally charged stories that rely on three films’ worth of character development and buildup to make an impact, whereas The Last Jedi just blunders in, trying to replicate these emotional moments, but fails to recognise what made them so powerful to begin with and hasn’t done any of the legwork to make us feel truly invested in what’s going on, and thus it has all the impact of a feather duster.

So that’s The Last Jedi. A pointless and mediocre middle chapter to what has so far been a pointless and mediocre trilogy. The one bright side is that now it appears they’ve finally rehashed all they can from the original trilogy, there’s a chance we might finally get to see some original ideas in Episode 9. Unless they’re planning to ripoff the prequels next. In which case Disney must be more creatively bankrupt than I thought.

#star wars #the last jedi #quill's quickies #no spoilers

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cassandra-acton · 7 years ago

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ORIGINS & FAMILY:

Name: Cassandra Alice Acton.

Nickname: Cassie, Cass.

Birthday: November 8th, 1986.

Age: 31.

Gender: Female.

Place of Birth: Oxford, Oxfordshire, United Kingdom.

Places Lived Since: London, United Kingdom.

Current Residence: Tower Hamlets, London, United Kingdom.

Nationality: British.

Parents: Michael and Anita Acton (née Redgrave)

Grandparents: Edward Acton (grandfather, paternal, deceased) Renske van Ardenne (grandmother, paternal) Harold Redgrave (grandfather, maternal, deceased) Hélène de Broglie (grandmother, maternal, deceased)

Aunts & Uncles: Kathleen Acton-Fortescue (aunt, paternal) Charlotte, Georgina Redgrave (aunts, maternal) Lambert Redgrave (uncle, maternal)

Number of Siblings: One older sister, Elizabeth Acton.

Relationship With Family: To be honest, she doesn’t really have a relationship with anyone except Elizabeth, and her mother tainted it so much that even that one isn’t healthy. It’s a shame, really. As much as she knows she’s better off without them, she still misses her father, in particular. Cassie definitely envies people who are close to their parents.

Happiest Memory: When Harrison proposed to her, without a doubt. I’ll write about it someday. Getting her internship at Goldman is definitely second, though.

Childhood Trauma: I mean the parents definitely fucked her up for life, so there’s that.

PHYSICAL:

Height: 5'4”

Weight: 120lbs.

Build: Slim but very fit.

Hair Color: Blonde.

Usual Hair Style: Whilst working, she almost always wears her hair up in a ponytail, but she hates it. Much prefers to have it down. Keeps it just a little longer than shoulder length because of her dislike of short hair. Is too lazy to style it beyond neatness unless she’s going somewhere.

Eye Color: Blue.

Glasses? Contacts?: Neither.

Style of Dress/Typical Outfit(s): For work: neat, formal, and inexpensive. Lots of form-fitting skirts, blazers and blouses in blacks and whites. Out of work: a fuck load of jeans. Baggy jumpers and quirky shirts. Picks up a lot of her stuff from charity shops because who has time for fucking shopping.

Typical Style of Shoes: Cassie is never without heels. Prefers bright colours and eye-catching designs to contrast with her typically monochrome/ greyscale outfits during work. About the only part of her outfits she ever spends a decent amount of money on.

Jewellery? Tattoos? Piercings?: The only piece of jewellery she constantly wears is her engagement ring, which she has on a chain around her neck. She has three tattoos. ‘Hip to be Square’ in tiny font on the inside of her right wrist, Harrison’s birthday on her left shoulder blade, and a matching tattoo she got with her friend, Jessica, back in school, on her right forearm. Each got a hand from The Creation of Adam. As for piercings, she has her left ear pierced twice, her right four times, as well as her bellybutton.

Scars: A thin scar that cuts through her right eyebrow; a result of a drunken night out in university during which one of her friends fell down the stairs, and dragged Cassie with her.

Unique Mannerisms/Physical Habits: When she’s stressed, she has to play with her hair; pulling it, twisting it, whatever. It’s about the only good indicator she’s about to rip your face off because she will do that shit with a smile.

Athleticism: Very high. Cassandra naturally has a lot of energy, and so expends a lot of it keeping fit. Rowed competitively for LSE, and still competes regularly with many of the girls from her old crews, as well as having joined a new rowing club. She also plays a lot of rugby, though never competitively. Loves running and endurance, and almost always competes in the Tough Mudder when it’s nearby, as well as taking part in the London marathon annually. Also gets involved with a lot of charity races.

Health Problems/Illnesses: I think she seriously wavers into depression sometimes, though she’s far too proud to ever get it officially diagnosed. PCOS and all its friends, which is not a fun time. Does over attachment to her dog count? Definitely counts.

INTELLECT:

Level of Education: MSc in Economics and Management from LSE. Cassie finds studying relaxing, however, and often self-teaches about subjects of interest in her free time. Currently, she is working on a course in Arab Finance.

Languages Spoken: English natively, Dutch fluently. French and Mandarin intermediate. Is determined to take up learning Arabic at a later date.

Level of Self-Esteem: Very low. It’s why she aggressively overcompensates with an arrogant attitude. Partly to convince herself, but mostly to convince others.

Gifts/Talents: Surprisingly, she’s actually a pretty good violinist.

Mathematical?: Definitely. It’s sort of her thing. 100% could get a job on Countdown.

Makes Decisions Based Mostly On Emotions, or On Logic?: Usually, emotions, though she tends to berate herself afterward, because she knows—especially given the career she has now chosen to pursue—that she needs to learn to be more logical.

Life Philosophy: Someone else is happy with less than what you have.

Religious Stance: Was raised Anglican, but isn’t particularly religious.

Cautious or Daring?: Absolutely daring. Naturally, she’s a spontaneous person, and I don’t think being cautious really lends to that.

Most Sensitive About/Vulnerable To: Being told she’s not good enough. Being criticised when it comes to her work. Being compared to her sister. People bringing up what happened to Harrison. Terrorism in general.

Optimist or Pessimist?: In between, leaning slightly toward the pessimistic side.

Extrovert or Introvert?: Extrovert.

RELATIONSHIPS:

Current Relationship Status: In a relationship with Adam Hassan, Shadow Health Secretary, and MP for Bethnal Green & Bow.

Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual.

Past Relationships: Before Adam, the only person she’d ever been in a real relationship with was Harrison. They on-off dated their whole young lives. They briefly broke up when he joined the army and she went to university because they were worried about ‘distance’ but wound up missing each other too much for it to be a permanent thing. Dated one guy briefly, Matt, a few years after his death, but it scared her so much it took her until Adam to try again.

Primary Reason For Being Broken Up With: None.

Primary Reasons For Breaking Up With People: Not having moved on.

Ever Cheated?: No.

Been Cheated On: Not really. Unless you count that one time, by Harrison, when they were little kids. He kissed another girl on the playground because Cassie had been off school for a week. She pouted and promised she’d never date a boy ever again after that.

Level of Sexual Experience: Cassie’s slept with five people in her life, so limited-ish. Harrison, a brief fling during her first year of university, Matt, Silas, and Adam.

Story of First Kiss: His name was Richard and she only kissed him because all of the other girls wanted to.

Story of Loss of Virginity: The first time she and Harrison tried, they’d attempted to make it a ‘romantic evening’ that wound up being so awkward, they couldn’t stop laughing. Eventually, it happened spontaneously at a school social after party.

A Social Person?: Absolutely. Even though she needs some time to herself every now and again to process all the shit that’s going on in her life, she couldn’t go any extended time without her friends. Cassie has to be in a pretty bad place to cut herself of from people.

Most Comfortable Around: Jessica, and her old work friends at Goldman—they’re the people she’s closest to, and are still like a family to her.

Oldest Friend: Jessica Mirzoyan, a friend she grew up with in Oxford that now also lives in London. She can’t remember a time in her life when Jessica wasn’t in it, they’ve known each other for so long. Basically a sister to her.

How Does She Think Others Perceive Her?: Cassie has an incredibly skewed view of what people think of her. She automatically assumes people think the worst. Look at her like she’s not good enough, just like her mother always did. I think that’s why she keeps most people at arm’s length, because she’s so scared of letting someone in only for them to wind up criticizing her.

How Do Others Actually Perceive Her?: Depends who you ask. Amongst the public she’s very popular for her honesty. Amongst her colleagues back at Goldman she’s respected as a professional cutthroat. As for her critics, they probably just see her as a stuck up bitch.

SECRETS:

Life Goals: To help as many people through her political and charitable work as possible. That’s really all she cares about. Personal goals seem fairly irrelevant to her right now.

Dreams: To be happy again would be rather nice.

Greatest Fears: Polystyrene and spiders. Why do either of those things exist?

Most Ashamed Of: How bitter losing Harrison has made her. How she still hasn’t been able to get over the anger and the hurt it left her with.

Secret Hobbies: Cassie kind of loves to knit? It’s a good stress reliever when she’s too tired to go running. Not that she’d admit to it, mind you. She’s also not very good. All she can make are the really simple scarves.

Crimes Committed (Was she caught? Charged?): None.

DETAILS/QUIRKS:

Night Owl or Early Bird?: Night owl. Begrudges being alive in the mornings.

Light or Heavy Sleeper?: Heavy sleeper.

Favorite Animal: Hedgehog.

Favorite Foods: Steak. Cheese and crackers. Orange jelly.

Least Favorite Food: Avocado.

Favorite Book: American Psycho – Bret Easton Ellis.

Least Favorite Book: The Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Favorite Movie: Burn After Reading. Gladiator. Mars Attacks!

Least Favorite Movie: Shitty horrors in general.

Favorite Song: Mr. Roboto – Styx. If you play that to her, she doesn’t just sing along, she fucking performs it, okay. (Honourable mentions for The Boys Are Back In Town – Thin Lizzy, and What Is Love – Haddaway.)

Favorite Sport: Rugby. Cassie can get pretty shouty about rugby and is a very dedicated Saracens fan.

Coffee or Tea?: Tea.

Crunchy or Smooth Peanut Butter?: Neither, thank you. That stuff is nasty.

Type of Car She Drives: A dark green Mini Cooper.

Lefty or Righty?: Lefty.

Favorite Color: Pink.

Cusser?: Pretty badly, although she does well to hold her tongue in public most of the time. Has had a few slip-ups that made the headlines. Luckily the general opinion was that it made her seem more normal, and it went down pretty well with voters, if not her critics.

Smoker? Drinker? Drug User?: Never used drugs. Occasionally smokes if she’s incredibly stressed and has been drinking. Drinks fairly regularly.

Biggest Regret: Letting her parents fuck her up so badly. Cassie wishes that she hadn’t taken it so much to heart, now that she knows better.

Pets: The love of her life, Brody the Corgi.

#archive

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