#(see my update post from a few weeks ago if you're confused as to why i'm not posting as much btw!)

[karatekels]

Fresh Start - Days 8 & 9

I'm baaaaack!

Note: I think I'm going to make this either an AU where Kreese never showed up, or just earlier in the canon timeline before Kreese reaches out to him. So at this moment, Terry is not involved in karate in the Valley beyond his own practice.

Days 4 & 5 | Day 6 | Day 7 (Future updates posted below!)

TW: Something that could be interpreted as non-con or dub-con, but only in the sense that in dreams, sometimes things don't make sense while you're in them.

---

Day 8

You wake up shivering, trying to feel around for your blanket without having to open your eyes. As your feet fail to find the covers, you recognize that you’re not on your bed, instead on a cold, firm surface that was smooth like marble. Confused, you open your eyes to a dark room.

Suddenly, a bright light is turned on above you, and you see that you are laying on a pedestal much like the ones used to showcase the sculptures back at the art museum. Looking down, you see that you’re naked, and look around for something to clothe yourself with, starting to panic when you hear approaching footsteps.

“Ah ah ah,” comes Terry’s familiar voice through the darkness, chiding you. “You stay right where you are.”

You find your body getting heavy, moving to obey and lay back on the cool stone, while your mind distantly questions what is happening. Everything feels foggy, making thinking slow and confusing. Terry emerges from the shadows and approaches you, and while you feel like you should feel embarrassed at him seeing you in this state… you don’t.

“Terry.” You say his name as a sigh, feeling a strong sense of relief and comfort as he comes to stand next to you, staring down into your eyes. Terry would take care of you.

He reaches down, brushing your hair behind your ear, and your body tingles as though a current of electricity was flowing through you, stemming from his fingertips touching your skin. You whole body shivers with desire, gasping at the sensation, and Terry smiles in satisfaction, blue eyes roaming over you with lust. He picks up a paintbrush in one elegant hand, leaning over you and tracing the features of your face with the tip of it. Your eyes… your lips… you fight to keep still.

“Why do you insist on resisting this?” he asks, trailing the brush down your neck slowly, his gaze following the path of the brush with the utmost focus as you turn your head to the side, giving him access to the side of your neck with a soft cry. “Let me give you everything, Y/N.”

“What’s happening?” you ask him, your voice barely more than a whisper. “We shouldn’t be doing this…”

“I believe I told you that one of my vices is the collection of rare and beautiful things, my dear,” Terry croons softly, lightly stroking the paintbrush in circles around your nipples and making you arch your back off the pedestal, a moan escaping your lips.

“You didn’t think that you were an exception to that rule, did you?”

---

You bolt upright in your bed in a cold sweat as you wake up from the dream, panting for breath.

What the hell was that?!

Never in your life have you woken up from a dirty dream like this, flushed and trembling on the edge of an orgasm. Your nipples are prominent through your top, and you can feel the stickiness of your arousal on your thighs. It had felt so real…

No.

There were a dozen reasons why you needed to stop that train of thought immediately. You had to see this man at least one more time while you were here, and needed to be able to act normally around him. You were leaving in less than a week, so nothing could happen; hadn’t you told Terry just a few days ago that you weren’t the kind of person who dated casually while on vacation? And that’s if he would even be interested… No, you weren’t going to go down that road.

You toss and turn, struggling to get comfortable, but your clit is throbbing with a need that you can’t ignore. Flopping onto your back with a huff, you slip a hand into your pyjama bottoms, wanting to bring yourself to orgasm quickly so that you could get some damn sleep. Stubbornly, you think of anyone else, of no one at all, but no matter what you try you can’t seem to reach the peak.

Part of you thinks Terry would find all of this greatly amusing, the smug prick.

Frustrated, you allow yourself to give in, promising yourself that it’s just this once, letting your imagination to pick up where your dream left off. The thought of Terry touching you with his hands, teasing you, looking down at your flushed naked body as you writhe beneath him has you coming quickly and coming hard, unable to prevent the soft moan of his name from pushing past your lips.

Sleep comes to you quickly afterwards, and no more dreams wake you in the night.

---

A clock tower somewhere nearby chimes noon, the day finding you glaring at your phone, placed perfectly in the centre of the table.

You haven’t touched it for hours.

How were you meant to handle this?

You know that you’re an open book, that you wear your heart on your sleeve; your emotions have always seemed to burst out of you. He would notice; he noticed everything.

Why did that dream have to happen? And if it did, why couldn’t it have happened once you were home and having to see him was no longer an issue? Or, better yet, it could have happened sooner, before you’d developed this fun friendship with him. You couldn’t exactly cut contact with him now without him being suspicious, and you had told him you would see him at least one more time as you stepped out of the limo last night.

He had been wonderfully generous with you, with his time and his money and his company. You knew that he was a lonely man, and it seemed cruel to make this connection with him only to rip it away without a moment’s notice. And more than that, you wanted to see him again; he had quickly become a friend, someone you could trust and talk to. Part of you had hoped you’d keep chatting casually, even after you’d gone home.

Stupid, stupid brain.

So, you had to face him at least one more time while you were here, and there was a distinct possibility that he would pick up on your change in demeanour. You were a terrible liar, so where did that leave you?

You groan, throwing things into your bag – trying to forget that Terry had given it to you – and flee from your hotel room, leaving your phone behind you, for once looking for a crowded place to lose yourself in.

Day 9 Terry’s POV

The first thing Terry does upon waking is check his phone, trying to fend off the surge of disappointment in the pit of his stomach as there are zero notifications indicating a text or a call from you. It had been more than twenty-four hours now that he had dropped you off outside your hotel, and he hasn’t heard from you since. Wasn’t your generation obsessed with your phones?

He had waited all day yesterday, anticipating a message from you – a joke, a request, a simple thank you for the night before, but there had been nothing. He had tried not to let it get to him, tried to go about his day as normal, but all he was doing was going through the motions.

He thought he and you were getting closer, making progress, helping you on your way to realizing you had feelings for him. Had he been wrong?

Part of him wondered why he hadn’t just texted you first, but his reasoning was simple; he thought you would call first.

When you hadn’t, it really got his hackles up, and he was too stubborn to make the first move and vie for your attention like some desperate fool, and now here he was, every minute inching closer to two days without hearing from you.

He hates how much you’ve gotten under his skin.

Stupid, stupid brain.

He gets ready for the day, skipping his morning meditation; he knows his mind well enough to know that he can’t focus right now. Instead, he heads to his private dojo, forcing himself to stretch before allowing himself to move through the kata. It was far easier to clear his mind when he had his body to focus on. He supposes it was similar to how you escaped into books…

He clenches his fist, angry that you’ve wormed your way into his thoughts.

He needed them out of his head.

He needed you out of his head.

Walking over to a heavy punching bag, Terry takes a deep breath and assumes the proper stance, planning on fully venting all of his pent up emotions through his fists and feet.

He lays into the bag for a full two minute round, grunting in exertion as he strikes with as much force as he can muster. As he does, he goes through what his former therapist had cited as the ‘5 Stages of Grief’:

Denial. It hasn’t even been two days yet; you didn’t leave for another five. Plenty of time to schedule a liaison with him.

Anger. Who the fuck did you think you were, anyway, stringing him along like this? Using him for his money, his influence and then dropping him the instant you got bored?

Bargaining. Perhaps a big show of his affections, literally sweeping you off your feet was the way to get you to see reason?

Depression. This was pointless; there wasn’t enough time. There had never been enough time. He had been born too soon, and you too late. He wasn’t getting his happily ever after.

Acceptance. He’d been down this road before. Maybe not quite this hard, or quite so fast, but he had survived heartbreak and worse his whole life. He would be fine.

By the end of the round, Terry feels like he has all but resigned himself to his fate. He was too old for love now anyway. He feels better; he might go meditate after all.

Terry takes a seat on the bench to the side of the training mats to slip his shoes back on.

His phone vibrates against the wood beside him and he freezes.

It wasn’t you, he assures himself, feeling his resolve to forget you shatter despite his best efforts.

Sighing, he picks up his phone, preparing to be disappointed by some inconsequential business matter.

Instead, your name flashes onto the screen, notifications for several text messages coming in.

Oh, thank God.

Feeling outright buoyant, he quickly unlocks his phone, eagerly scrolling to your messages:

Is my tour guide up for an adventure tomorrow?

I’m thinking Santa Barbara Botanic Garden? That’s the one you told me about, right?

And you have to let me pay this time or else!

You still wanted him, he thinks, his heart warming as he reads your texts. He watches the three dots dance as you type another message to him. They disappear and reappear before his eyes as you change your mind about what to say again and again, making him chuckle. You seemed to have two modes: racing through things a mile a minute or completely subdued, either asleep or hungover, and you were clearly moving at the former speed this morning.

He hadn’t been to this particular garden in years, but imagined it would be a worthy romantic setting for his next encounter with you. Scenic, expansive enough to ensure they had space to themselves but with enough nooks and crannies that there was potential for… privacy, should the need for it arise. If he had his way, it would.

You seem to have given up on sending a follow up message; Terry can almost picture you pacing around your hotel room, trying to think of something snarky to send him. He can’t resist toying with you:

                                                Or else what?

I scared Victor away, remember? I’m sure I can take you on.

                                                Big talk for such a small                                                 woman. I’m positively                                                 terrified.

You should be.

                                                Chivalry really is dead;                                                 you’re awfully demanding                                                 when you want something.

I’m a modern woman; I’m not afraid to push for what I want. Are you coming or not, Mr. Silver?

                                                Yes, I’ll be there, and I’ll                                                 even let you pay. But I’m                                                 driving. Be ready and                                                 outside your hotel by 9am                                                 …“or else”.

I’m already planning to hide across the street tomorrow morning, just so I can see what the other end of that threat looks like.

                                                Be careful what you wish for,                                                 Y/N, or you might find your                                                 time in L.A. unexpectedly…                                                 extended.

Don’t tempt me with a good time, Terry.

I’ll see you tomorrow.

---

Days 10 & 11 | Day 12-A | Day 12-B | Day 13-A | Day 13-B | Day 13-C | Day 14-A | Day 14-B | Day 14-C

[not-xpr-art]

Art Advice #8 - Is Art School worth it?

Hi folks!

For my next Art Advice blogpost (go here for my previous ones) I want to talk about my experiences with ‘art education’/’art school’, and whether I think it was worth it... 

Just a note, I’ve done roughly 6 years of practical art education (not including the general art classes I did as a child in school). And I also want to acknowledge that I know I’m immensely privileged to have even been given the chance at an art education. So even though this essay will be critical of the system and my experience, know that I still do appreciate that I was given this opportunity! 

(this is about 2300 words long, by the way... oops...)

Is Art School/Art Education worth it? 

I don’t think it’s surprising to learn that art was one of my favourite subjects in school. Especially from the ages of 8 to 14, I adored it, and also revelled in the fact that I was actually above averagely good at it as well! 

But then GCSE art (ages 15-16) happened and... that opinion did begin to change somewhat lol. 

I’m now going to go (as briefly as I can) over how art is ‘taught’ in the schools/colleges I’ve been to because I appreciate that my experience isn’t universal, and other countries might have a different system!

In most classes what would happen is we would be given a theme at the beginning of the term, something like ‘journeys’ or ‘time’ or vague things like that which can be interpreted in a variety of ways. And throughout the classes we would be assigned specific artists to research and then base a work of our own on (so, for example, if the artist was Claude Monet, then we would be expected to go and paint something in his style that ties into the theme for that specific term). Other classes would be spent working on different techniques and mediums. So, things like still life drawing, printmaking, painting, etc. 

As the term goes on, you are then expected to do your own research for artists and develop your ideas for the theme individually (although teachers will always be lurking the background to offer you ‘advice’). And eventually this will lead to you doing a final ‘Final Piece’ which sums up all of your ideas for the specific theme for that term, including the research and experimentation you did along the way. How you’re expected to present this research is through sketchbooks, which leads me to my first issue when it comes to the way art education is taught. 

Sketchbooks

In literally every institution I’ve been in to do art, teachers will gather everyone together at the start of the school year and show you a selection of sketchbooks made by past students. 

Now, these sketchbooks are usually works of art in themselves. Every page is coloured and full of interesting images and patterns, the writing is easy to read and thoughtful, and overall these sketchbooks tie perfectly into your project and your final pieces. And of course, the fact that there are previous examples of sketchbooks that do this really well, it’s obviously something that does work for some people.

However...

If you’re anything like me, trying to make my sketchbook look good on top of doing a good final piece (and on top of all the non-art related subjects you have to do in school) meant that either my sketchbook looked amazing but the final piece was mediocre, or vice versa... 

I truly believe forcing all art students to do a particular type of sketchbook, when a lot of us would’ve much rather have focused on the final pieces for the project, excludes a lot of people who would otherwise excel in art. And the way that art is marked means that if your sketchbook doesn’t live up to this standard, then you will automatically be marked down. 

The only project where I felt I was truly allowed to make a sketchbook exactly how I wanted to make it was in my last year of college when I did a self portrait project on women artists in history (there’s some examples of it floating around my blog if you’re interested, by the way). And because of the nature of my project being very researched based, I wasn’t expected to keep a really ‘prettified’ sketchbook, which allowed me the freedom to focus on my final pieces and the overall message I was going for!

This isn’t even to mention the fact that you’re marked on how good your literacy skills are in your sketchbooks (which does feel incredibly ridiculous for a subject like art... like... I enjoy writing essays about art because that’s just who I am, but I know a lot of artistic people don’t enjoy that, and feel like their contributions to art aren’t as ‘important’ just because they can’t write 1000s of words about it...).

Essentially, sketchbooks can be very useful to artists, especially if you’re working on one particular project over a period of time. BUT, the generalised high expectations of how a sketchbook should look for everyone in a class, despite the fact that art is supposed to allow its students to be individuals, leads to people feeling like they have failed. 

Grading

A few days ago I woke up at like 1am thinking about how ridiculous it is that art is even a subject that’s graded at all, particularly in early education (so, ages 8-14). We all know that art is subjective, so having anyone be the judge of whether you ‘did the art right’ has never sat right with me. 

I was always predicted high grades in art, but I rarely met them (not that I did badly). And in a way, I always felt that my art education journey was me creating things which I thought my teachers would want to see. (Also important to note that I procrastinated a lot of my school art because I was much more interested in doing fanart, which wasn’t something we were allowed to do in art education but... more about that later lol).

The thing is, I understand that exam boards believe that grades are the only way to motivate students, and that no one will want to do a subject if they can’t aim for that illusive A*... But ultimately, after university, grades are literally meaningless lol. The most that employers will want to see is that you passed basic Maths and English. Other than that, grades literally only serve to push you  into higher education. 

I’ve known so many students work themselves half to death to get a good grade in a subject, only to end up in the same unemployed train as the rest of us when they leave university. So really, all grades do, particularly in subjects like art, is remove all the creativity and interest out of the subject, since they become so focused on fulfilling a dumb grade rather than enjoying themselves! 

It wasn’t all bad...

So, since I’ve been pretty negative so far, I wanted to take a little break to talk about the good things about art school/education!

Being taught basic art related things is definitely something I’ve taken for granted. Things like proportions, the colour wheel, how to use certain mediums, even things like specific artistic terminology! One of the main reasons why I wanted to do these art advice posts was the fact that I was given this amazing knowledge through art education and I wanted to be able to share what little I know with people who perhaps weren’t given that opportunity! 

Another positive is being around like-minded people! You can bounce ideas off each other, give each other advice or constructive criticism, compliment each other’s work, etc! All things that feel so much better when they come from fellow artistic people! Even having a teacher who’s on the same page as you about things is such a breath of fresh air! (Although not my university art teacher... f*ck that racist twat lol)

Something else is that you’re actively encouraged to use a wide range of materials and mediums which are supplied to you! You also have access to a lot of hightech or specialised equipment that you wouldn’t usually be able to get to use! (this of course depends on whereabouts your school is or how much money they are given to spend on things like the arts, as I said before, I can only speak of my own experience...the area I grew up in wasn’t particularly affluent, but we were offered a lot of things that I know schools in other parts of even this country wouldn’t have been so... again, just pointing out that art education IS a privilege!!!)

There are probably other things too, but overall there were a lot of aspects of art education which I genuinely loved. Unfortunately, the things that I didn’t love were the things that ended up sticking in my mind a lot more...

“Be creative! ... wait not like that!?!?”

Ok so, story time (I may have spoken about this before, but it’s important and it still makes me mad so...).

In my 2nd year of college, we were given the theme of ‘secrets/fantasy/lies/etc’. And in the first class of that term, our teacher started listing things we could do for the theme (it was just vague ideas). (I ended up doing something based on dreams and the subconscious, by the way). But something that stuck with me was what our teacher told us NOT to do. Namely, we were “advised” to not do something with fairies or other fantastical creatures, basically anything that could be seen as more ‘decorative’. 

And although I had no interest in doing fairies or anything like that, it really bugged me even then that they were so against students doing something like that. I think their reasoning was that they wanted a wide range of ideas coming from the theme, and if they allowed more ‘generic’ takes on the theme then it wouldn’t make for an interesting end of year exhibition. Of course, this idea forgets that even if everyone decided to do fairies for that theme, everyone’s take on fairies would be slightly different. 

Another reasoning I think they may have had for saying this is that art education exam boards want art that ‘challenges’ stereotypes or whatnot, they want their students to think outside of the box and do something with a more ‘thought-provoking meaning’. And I do get this, but at the same time it insinuates that a student having picked a theme like fairies wouldn’t be able to somehow give that a greater symbolic meaning? 

(There’s also a whole other discussion of why art education is so fixated on art with deeper meaning when most art in history is pretty surface level or decorative but... that’s for another day lol)

In telling students to ‘be creative’ but only allowing them to be creative in a way that the teacher dictates because that’s what the exam board want just... doesn’t sit well with me... 

It also opens up judgment from teachers who maybe have a bias against or for a particular subject matter. And if you end up doing a project about something that a teacher doesn’t understand because it doesn’t fit into their ideas of creativity, then you’ll end up getting marked down for it, or coerced into doing something you don’t want to do just in order to appease them!

The layout of the courses

The final point I want to talk about ties a bit to all of the others, and it’s specifically the way the courses are laid out in art school. 

I already described a bit of what you’re expected to do, but what I missed out was the way that literally every art teacher described it as:

~a Journey~

They were obsessed with the idea of going from research to experimentation to final piece in a neat line of progression that was so perfectly documented in your sketchbook. This ‘journey’ of how you got from one idea to another, a journey that was so stupidly fabricated because so much of it was stuff you were forced to do by your teachers. 

Every decision you made you were made to document and explain, and every single time I wanted to write ‘I did this stupid print of a shoe because my teacher told me to!’ because at least that was true!

Forcing students to fulfil this bizarre ‘artistic journey’ particularly for people like me who ‘think of an idea, do some sketches and research for the idea, do the final piece for the idea, and then move on to something else because I’m not bored of said idea’ is just so so dumb! 

And all it exists for is to make sure students get that good grades in order to boost the reputations of the schools and colleges so they can get more funding... At the end of the day, if your art has a journey and fulfils all of the ridiculous expectations of teachers or exam boards, then that’s great. But there’s a large portion of artistic people who don’t fit into this category and who get left out just because they’re not living up to what a ‘good’ art student is like!

Conclusion

I’ve complained a lot in this post, I know... I also want to emphasise that this is all my own experience and I know that a lot of people will have very different ideas about this... 

But I suppose after all this you’re probably wondering if I’d recommend going to art school, or taking art subjects in any part of your school life...

And... Honestly I can’t really answer that. 

If you’re someone who loves art, and wants to do art as a career, or just want to improve your own skills, then you’re probably going to take any opportunity to do it, regardless of what one person says on the internet lol. 

I’d also reiterate that it’s honestly an amazing privilege to even be offered the chance of doing 6+ years of art education, and it was definitely worth it just because I was able to use almost entire massive tube of oil paint without having to buy it myself (amongst other things, of course).

I just hope that any young people who see this can get a better idea of what art education CAN be like, and that it isn’t always going to live up to your own expectations of it!

~

I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while, but I’ve been hesitant because I don’t want to come across as too whiny... 

But honestly my experiences in art education were SO close to making me give up on art entirely, which would’ve sucked because I really have nothing else going for me lol (that’s... mostly a joke by the way...) 

And if I can help someone get a better understanding of what the art education system CAN be like, particularly here in the UK, then hopefully my Struggles were worth it lol!

As always, if you have any questions about anything I’ve written about, feel free to ask! 

And a massive thank you to everyone who supports me, my art & these posts <3

[iwadori]

When they neglect you for another girl Part 4 (Sakusa)

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five

Word Count: 2.6K

Genre: Angst to Fluff

masterlist

AN: YES I DID PUT MYSELF IN THIS STORY! SUE ME. This is basically inspired by a random conversation i had w the great @teesumu, so this is basically for you doll <3

Sakusa:

You and Sakusa have been together for a around 10 years and love eachother immensly.    

However recently Sakusa has been busy and you havent really had much time together lately as he claims been busy doing loads of visits with his new agent.

But of course, being the loving partner you are you wanted to revive the spark in your relationship.

You have been seeing a lot of people on social media posting their aesthetic ‘picnic dates,’ and you knew that this was something that appealed to you before it was ‘on trend.’ Kiyoomi immediately came to your mind once you had the idea of going on a date. You knew that you haven’t be around each other lately, as Kiyoomi always had either a ‘meeting’ or some sort of ‘interview’ that his new agent “Empress” has set up for him.

You didn’t really know Empress that well, just that she was ‘good at her job,’ a ‘hard and dilligent worker,’ and a ‘raging hottie’ with Atsumu’s opinion being the last one. You weren’t suspecting her to have any malicious intent towards you or Kiyoomi, since you knew that he had a great judge of character. But it was just odd, that every time Kiyoomi was running late or having ‘super-secret’ conversations on the phone it was always because ‘my agent set up this,’ ‘my agent set up that,’ and that’s what left you a bit wary.

As you were scrolling through your phone you see a calendar updating saying : Next Week‘ A DECADE AGO WE FELL IN LOVE.’  

10 years. How could you forget? You and Omi have literally been together for a decade. You think back to the decade of madness and love you’ve been through together, smiling fondly to yourself but then you think about where you are now... barely even talking to each other, only mainly seeing him when he comes home from work.

You need to fix this. Or at least make an attempt to get you and Kiyoomi talking again. So, the only thing you can do, is plan that picnic.

You spent the rest of the day planning your anniversary picnic. ’It’s going to be great,’ you think to yourself, you have a list of all Omi’s favorite foods you're going to make him and bring and you are probably going to pick up a few board games and maybe even get some paint supplies. You and Kiyoomi used to paint a lot together, with the two of you not being the best of painters, but you enjoyed eachothers company non the less.  

Everything was sorted...for the most part. All you needed to do was get Omi there, and it’ll all be okay. Right? As you were bubbling and looking for more picnic inspo, you hear your front door open which made you even more excited to tell your boyfriend your plans.  

As you rush to go greet him, you see he’s on the phone making you roll your eyes. “No Empress it won’t work, we need this sorted by next week. Okay? Next week.” he says in an agitated way. He hangs up the phone and sighs, shoving off his duffel bag.

“Hey Omi, how was your day?” you say a bit hesitant, noticing his annoyed mood.  

“Fine” He said dismissively, aiming to walk past you aiming for your bedroom.

“Oh well I have something amazing planned for ne-” you try to say following after him.

“Can we not do this right now Y/N,” he says again turning too look at you making you frown a bit, all you wanted to do is surprise him with your plans and have a day out with him. After noticing your sad look he finishes with “it’s just that Empress she’s bee-”

“I don’t want to hear about her.” you say bitterly folding your arms, Empress is the last person you want to hear about right now “God Omi can’t you just care about me? For once.”

“I do I-”

“You don’t anymore,” you say, with all the emotions and feelings you’ve been just supressing from a while coming up. You don’t even know how you got from point A to B with this conversation, but there's no stopping now. “I feel that, for a while now we haven’t been how we were before when we were just Y/N and Kiyoomi. Instead of how we are now. Just Y/N. Then Kiyoomi and Empress.”

After hearing his agents name, Kiyoomi’s name contorts to confusion “Empress? What does she have to do with anything?”

“How can you not see? For the past month all it’s been is ‘Empress this’ ‘Empress that,’” you complain “Having your super secret conversations with her, like god Kiyoomi can’t you see a problem with this?”  

“It’s not like that Y/N, we’re just work partners” he says looking a bit annoyed “Just business.”

 “Just business? So Kiyoomi, what were you talking about on the phone earlier” you say with your voice slight accusingly.

“Umm I, I can’t really say?” he says more of a question then a fully assured statement. You squint your eyes at him and scoff.

“What is going on with you Omi?” you say “are you cheating on me with her is that it?”

“No, no of course not Y/N! How could you even ask that?” he frowned at your question making your chest hurt, since deep down you knew he could never do that to you. Could he?

“Well tell me then, what were you talking about?” you ask again.

“I can’t say..” he finishes  

“Well I can’t stay.” you say and his face goes back to confusion “Here. With you.”

“What do you mean Y/-”

“I need a break or something. I just can’t be here right now.” You start to rush and pack a big of things whilst Kiyoomi just stands there.

After you pack up your stuff, you look back and see Kiyoomi just there. Standing. You were upset, you kind of wanted him to rush after you and beg you not to leave, but he was just there. Standing. So you put the hand on the door and just before you leave you turn back and say “bye Sakusa, see you later?” to which you see him slightly nod at.

When the door shut, Kiyoomi starts to cry. After hearing you call him by his last name really twisted the knife that was already in his heart. You haven’t called him that since you were like 15. He knew what you wanted; he knew you wanted him to rush towards you and beg you not to leave, but he didn’t. He couldn’t. But what he could do is call the one person he only could call.

After a few rings, he hears “What do you need Saku?”  

“She’s gone, she left.”

“What do you mean she’s gone, did you tell her?”  

“No I didn’t tell her. And that’s the problem, Empress she think-”

“Saku, don’t worry about it. I’ll handle it.”

“You’ll handle it?”

“Don’t I always?”

He couldn’t argue with that, he just had to trust that Empress could sort it. “And also, don’t spend the week with your head up your ass crying, you’ve got a lot of grovelling to do kiddo.”

He nodded even though she couldn’t see him, as he knew that what just went down needed to be resolved, fast.

Meanwhile, on your end. You’re a mess. Sobbing all the time, tissues are your best friend, you’ve been waiting just waiting for a message or a call, or some form of communication. You just wanted to feel wanted by your boyfriend (can you even call him that now.)  

You spent the rest of the week at your parents, immersing yourself in your work and doing ‘self care’ things, trying to forget all about the argument you and Kiyoomi had.  

One day, you receive a letter, it wasn’t delivered by a mail man though. It was slid under your door, in a golden envelope sealed with a red hot wax seal. It read:

‘Dear Y/N,

My sweetheart, im sorry for how the week has been and I know a letter with only a fraction of how I feel won’t make up for how I acted that day. But im inviting you to join me at the Gardenia Botanical Gardens at 2 pm tommorow, to celebrate our 10 year anniversary.  

I know there is a big chance, you may not want to see me and I understand but please. I love you, so so much, that words can’t even describe. But I need you to see me apologise and I need to make it up to you.  

I hope to see you there, I’d wait the whole day for you. If you don’t show, I understand.

Sincerely, Sakusa Kiyoomi

P.S The theme is ‘summer hot day, tea with the queen’ - Atsumu’

You smile at the letter, but wonder if you should actually go or not. You did want to see him of course and get this all resolved, but you had your own plans for your anniversary which wouldn’t of been spoiled if he didn’t withhold his super-secret phone calls.

It took you hours to contemplate on what to do, but you decided to just sleep on it and see how you feel tomorrow. In the morning, you knew what you wanted to do. Of course, you had to go, at least to hear him out and see if he really did cheat on you or not. For all you know he’s inviting you to tell you that he’s going to run away with his agent and his secret kids they had together. You shook the negative thoughts from your head and just repeated your mantra ‘hope for the best and prepare for the worst.’

When you got there, you didn’t exactly know where he would be but he said ‘botanical gardens’ so of course you decided to just wander around there. It was nice walking around and just smelling the roses, and seeing the pretty scenery.  

“Excuse me ma’am,” you hear someone say tugging on your leg “um that mister over there told me to give you these.” Looking down, you see a small boy who looked about the age of four with a crumpled up bunch of roses handing them to you.

“Oh thank you,” you say giving the kid a head pat “where is this ‘mister’ might I ask?”

“He’s over there!” The kid pointed behind him and you look to see Kiyoomi sitting under a white gazebo which is surrounded in your favorite flowers and the table is filled with food.

You walk over to your ‘boyfriend,’ with him not noticing your present yet. When you reach him you say “I think she stood you up buddy,” you joke making him jump abit startled.

“Y/N!” he exclaimed, instantly beaming “You came you made it!” he stood up and pulled you into a hug, which you return before you remember why you came here in the first place.

“Oh I-” he says awkwardly

You decide to sit down pulling him down with you. You kind of sit there in uncomfortable silence, for a while until you both say.

“So I-”

“What are yo-”

You both laughed at your simultaneous comments, before Kiyoomi looks at you letting you speak. “What did you want to bring me here for?”

“I didn’t want, what happened last week to happen Y/N I-” he says looking a bit panicked “It wasn’t supposed to go this way.”

“Then how was it meant to go Sakusa.”

“Y/N, please don’t call me that, I know I made you upset but pleas-” he starts before getting distracted again “Y/N, I called you here to say a few things..”

“Them being.?” you ask a bit impatiently.

“I love you. I love you so much, you don’t even understand. Ever since I saw you at my volleyball game in our first year, in the stands just cheering us on. I knew that from that day, after I scored the winning point and our eyes met, that we were destined to be together. I just love you so much Y/N”

“Omi I don’t understand I-”

“Just let me finish please, It’s taken a while for me to say this. And trust me, there’s been so many times when I wanted to just say ‘hey Y/N let’s get married,’ but I couldn’t I was scared, and I wanted it to be perfect, so perfect. Because you deserve the world Y/N. That’s why I got Empress to help, I know that our conversations may seem odd, but I love you and she knows that she just wanted to help trust me. And she did, all this wouldn’t of been done if it wasn’t for her. But anyways Y/N what I waned to say was I love you and I love you and I-” he rambles on loosing track of his words.  

But in the midst of his speech, you hear all that you needed and responded with the only way you can.

“Yes.” you say simply, with a growing smile on your face.

“Yes?” he repeats confused “What do you meann ye- ohhh" Kiyoomi blushes embarrased that after all that he ended up ruining the thought out proposal he wanted to give you with his ramble.

“Im sorry Y/N, I didn’t mean to say it like that I wanted it to be perfect and I-”

You shut him up with a kiss making his eyes widen as he reciprocates it anyways.  

“What did she say?” you hear someone shout from a far, and you look over to see the MSBY Jackals all standing there with shit eating grins on their faces.

“I said yes!” you yell back, to which they all cheer and rush towards you guys giving you both hugs and slapping Kiyoomi on the back.  

As the boys celebrate Omi finnally do what he’s been planning for ages, you get approached by Empress who awkwardly walks up to you. “ I didn’t want to leave the impression that me and Saku were any sort of thing?” she says

“Yeah I think it was definitely a big misunderstanding, it’s just that Omi was never around and whenever he was he was just talking to you and you know how it is.”

“I definitely know, I’d feel the same way if my boyfriend did that to me.”

“Oooh boyfriend?” you ask her feeling nosey on her romantic life.  

“Yeah boyfriend. You know iwaizumi hajime... the trainer?” she says smiling a bit when she said his name.

“The trainer! Nice.”

The rest of the night was fun and was basically an engagement party for you and Omi all you and friends just partying and celebrating yours and Omi’s love for each other. “Omi” you say getting his attention “Happy ten year anniversary babe”

“Happy anniversary, I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

After the party you spend your months now planning for a big fat wedding, with the help of your new found bestie, Empress (who you obviously misjudged from the start.) You and Omi could never be happier, every thing was back to how it was before, maybe even better. And you definitely spent at least two Saturdays a month going out for picnics and it was now a tradition in your relationship, so in the end you did get your ‘aesthetic picnic date.’

AN: WHAT DID U GUYS THINK??

[justniaaa]

Unravel Me (4)

Gif by: @blackisblackisblack​

Rating 18+NSFW

Work Count: 3.4k

Pairing: Christopher “Rio” Martinez xblack!oc

Warning: Swearing, mentions of a gun

A/N: Hey my loves! I’ve missed you guys so much, so sorry for the late update. I’m not going to lie and say it wont happen again because it most likely will but I wasn’t expecting to be gone for so long. Anxiety/ Depression is a fucking bitch bro and like I said before even if my posting isn’t constant, I always want to make sure to give you guys content. Thanks for you for rocking with me and Enjoy chapter 4! Happy reading and please dont forget to like, comment and reblog <3

Summary: Toni forms an unsuspecting friendship with Christopher that turns into something more. As her feelings towards him continue to grow she starts to  unravel the secrets that surround him and in return, he unravels her completely.

Chapter 4: Let the games begin

After the eventful night between Toni and Chris, it was like the days went by rather quickly and before she knew it, Friday was here and Toni’s nerves were coming along for the ride. When she came home that night and told her girls about what transpired with her and the mysterious business mogul they gave out beaming smiles and all three of them jumped around, excited that Toni was going out on a date. And of course, don’t even get her started on Aaliyah, the woman was more than elated, and every chance she got she made sure to bother Toni about her new “boyfriend.”

Toni was walking in from work at Print Monthly and let out a yawn. Working two jobs, and writing a new article was slowly catching up with her, but with enough caffeine, she thinks she could make it through. She took off her heels and placed her keys on the entrance table trying to stifle yet another yawn, that was on its way out of her mouth. As she went further into the apartment she didn’t hear any movement from either of the girl’s rooms so she figured she was home alone. Toni went into her room not caring to turn on the light since she had a small night light in the corner and shut the door. She dropped her purse on the floor and took off her clothes, only leaving on her bra and panties. Toni sighed and shuffled to her bed, face planting into it as she wrapped her sherpa throw around her body. Since the AC was fixed the day before her place was nice and cool and all she wanted to do was take a small nap.

But before she could float away to unconsciousness her door was rushed open and the light flicked on, “Oh no bitch, get up!”

Toni groaned hearing Rocky’s voice and covered her face with the blanket, wishing for  a couple of minutes of sleep, “Antonia Kelis Thompson, up now!”

The blanket was ripped away from Toni, and she put her face into the pillow, “Just five minutes,” she groaned.  

“No, get up! Sage made you a smoothie to help with your energy before she left for the grocery store and you need to drink it so we can get you together for tonight.”

Toni turned her head and looked at Rocky, she was standing next to her bed with her eyebrow raised and a hand on her hip and the other was outstretched with said green smoothie in her grasp.

“It’s only six Rocky, we meet up at nine.”

True to his word, Chris hit her up and they set up a time and place to meet up, the place being an escape room to which Toni was particularly thrilled about. She had always wanted to go to one and she vaguely remembered mentioning it to him on one of their morning talks at the cafe. After they arranged their night out they continued texting each other throughout the day and it felt good to have that feeling of giddiness whenever she heard her phone ding and it possibly being him.

Toni huffed and sat up, sitting cross-legged on her bed and took the drink from Rocky’s hand. Taking a few sips she scrunched up her face from the taste but soldiered on when she saw the look Racquel gave her. When she finally finished the last bits of the smoothie, she put the glass on her nightstand and turned back to her friend.  

“All finished, what’s next on the list warden?”

Racquel rolled her eyes, “So damn dramatic, go take a shower and I’ll dive into that mess  you call a closet to find you something to wear.”

Toni stretched her limbs as she stood up from the bed while Rocky shooed her to the bathroom grabbing her towel from the back of the door in the process.

“And don’t forget to shave bitch!” Rocky yelled out.

“I shaved my legs yesterday, why the hell am I going to do them again?” Toni said poking her head out from the doorway, her confusion was evident.

“I’m not talking about your legs, girl,” Raquel said, winking. Toni didn’t plan on sleeping with Chris tonight but with how crazy the attraction was between them anything was possible. So with understanding and gratitude, Toni simply nodded and backed into the bathroom, closing the door and getting to work.

After the long half-hour of exfoliation, shaving, and showering, Toni came out of the bathroom feeling fresh and squeaky clean and walked into the sight of her bed strewn with clothes. She took in the sight of her best friends arguing with a piece of clothing in their hands about which outfit would work best. She chose to ignore them knowing that whatever they picked would be applicable and tightened the towel on her form, going to her vanity to do her makeup and hair. The girls interrupted her a few times showing her what they chose and Sage helped Toni curl her hair in the back. Music and bouts of laughter were heard throughout the home and the minutes ticked by getting closer to when Toni was deemed to leave. She was just putting on her light blue jeans when her phone went off, interrupting the song that was playing on her Bluetooth. Rocky and Sage continued talking about whether she should wear heels or sneakers, and Toni finished buttoning her pants walking over to her device. The name Chris was on her screen, and before the voicemail picked up she answered.

“Hello,” she said.

“There she is, thought you weren’t gonna answer,” Chris’s smooth voice came through the phone, making Toni’s stomach flutter with butterflies. She could vaguely hear noises of machinery in the background but she didn’t think anything of it because as quickly as the noise came it was gone, like he went into a separate room.

“I mean I didn’t have to pick up, especially since you're interrupting me getting ready for my date,” Toni sat down on the bench at the end of her bed.

“Oh, word? Who’s the lucky man?”

Toni looked down at her nails, “Some guy I met a couple of weeks ago, he ain’t all that but I decided to have mercy and give him a chance.”

Chris laughed into the receiver, “I bet he’s hype as fuck to take your pretty ass out.”

Toni shrugged like he could see her, “I mean, I am kind of great.”  

“That you are Antonia, that you are.”

Toni covered her mouth with her fingers, trying to control the megawatt smile that was threatening to break out. They knew each other barely a month and already the way Chris made Toni feel was slightly alarming. “Is everything okay though, because if you need to change the time or something that’s fine.”

“Nah we good, just wanted to check up on you. And make sure I wasn’t gonna do an escape room by myself.”

“No worries, I’ll be there,” Toni said grinning.

“Aiight, so I’ll see you soon yeah?”

“Yes, sir nine o’clock.”

Chris chuckled, “Aight mama, later.”

Toni hung up and put her phone back on the charger, “I’m guessing from all the flirting we just heard, that was him,” Sage asked.

She shook her head, “Yeah, he was calling to make sure we were still on tonight.” Toni went and looked at the shoe options they picked out, thankful that her friends lended out a helping hand.  

“We think the all-white Nike’s would look great with your outfit. Plus it will give your feet a break from the heels and you can run around as you play the game with your boyfriend,” Rocky smirked when Toni gave her a dirty look at her use of the “B” word.

“I agree,” she told them. After bending down to put her sneakers on, Toni stood up and examined her outfit in the mirror, liking how it looked. The white bodysuit accentuated her curves and the light blue jeans and sneakers really brought everything together, making her feel comfortable but be cute at the same time. Toni sprayed her perfume and got her crossbody bag and phone, listening to her friends give her a pep talk as she walked to the front door.

“We put some wipes in your bag and some mints as well just in case your breath gets hot,” Sage said, following behind Toni.

“Oh yes and some pepper spray if he decides to get handsy,” Raquel continued, bringing up the rear, “You never know he can turn into an asshole when the clock strikes twelve.”

Sage gave Rocky a glare and nudged her, “I doubt it will come to that, Racquel but it is always good to be safe.”

“Yes, it is,” Rocky grumbled, rubbing her sore side. Sage may be small but her elbow had some power behind it.

Toni turned to them when they reached the door, “Thanks guys for all the help.”

“We got your back girl, you know that.”

“And have fun tonight please, you deserve it and it will do you good to get some dick. It might help you stop being so damn uptight.”

“Sage!” Toni gasped, hitting the girl’s arm while Rocky stood next to her nodding in agreeance.

“I can’t stand you guys.” Toni picked up the keys she left on the small table by the door and opened her arms, “Alright give me some loving.”

They all came in for a group hug, just like they always did back in college, “Love you hoes,” Toni murmured.

“We love you too,” Sage and Rocky said together.

*****************************************************************************************************

Pulling into the parking lot Toni texted Chris letting him know she had arrived and while she waited on his reply she stared down at her phone and went through her social media. Suddenly a knock on her window made her jolt in the seat and look up with a hand to her chest. She let out a breath when she saw it was Chris at her window, his eyebrow raised and his mouth curved into a smirk.

“Geez Chris, you scared the shit out of me,” Toni exclaimed through the closed window.

She reached next to her, to get her purse and took her keys out of the ignition, placing them and her phone into her bag. She unlocked the door and he opened it for her, a smile still residing on his lips, “My bad ma, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Toni side-eyed him as she got out, “Liar, you know damn well it’s too dark for your ass to be playing games.”

“Oh shit, don’t tell me big bad Antonia is scared of the dark.” Chris closed her car door behind her and Toni hit her key fob locking the vehicle. They began walking through the sparsely lit up parking lot, heading towards the building that had MadeYa Look Escape Room in bright lights at the front.

“Listen, frightening things live in the night, so don’t shame me.”

Chris chuckled as they walked side by side, his hands behind his back, “Nah, no shaming here baby. I used to be the same way, years ago.”

Toni felt a jolt at this new nickname, she hadn’t been called baby from the opposite sex in years and it made her feel warm inside to be hearing it from him. Toni decided to play it cool and not show how much the term of endearment affected her, but she secretly promised herself she would gush about it later in the privacy of her home.

“What made you stop being scared?” Toni asked as they finally reached the entrance.

She went to open the door but his ring covered hand was suddenly on top of hers, making her palm sweat on the cool metal of the handle, “When I became the scary thing to the monsters.”

Toni noticed the sudden shift between them as she gazed into his dark brown orbs. You would think after a statement like that she would be afraid but she felt perfectly fine, safe even. She didn’t know what to think about that, so she intended to not think about it at all.

“I forgot to tell you earlier but you look beautiful,” Chris said, his eyes not leaving hers, he was close enough that he could hear her breath stutter but didn’t comment. Toni bit her lip and pushed a piece of hair behind her ear.

“You got your nose pierced,” she said, surprised. Toni saw the faint glint of the piercing from the glare of the lights and even though she never dated a guy with one it was different and it fit him perfectly.

Chris took note of the change of subject but he nodded anyway and ran his tongue across his bottom lip, making it shine, “You like it?”  

“It’s cute,” She said with faux disinterest. Just like last time, with the close proximity they were in Toni could smell his cologne that was dark and subtle. They would kiss if she stood on her tiptoes.

“You ready for me to whoop your ass in this game?” Chris teased, and just like that the spell was broken and the light-hearted flirting came back into play.

Toni scoffed, grateful for the break from the tension “Please, the question is are you ready?”

With her hands still encompassed in his, they both opened the door and went to the front desk to pay and get instructions. The brunette clerk who they later learned was named Debbie was none the wiser to the something that transpired moments before, as she explained rules and questioned which room they wanted to play. While the middle-aged woman was talking, he had his hand rested on the small of Toni’s back and tried as she might she couldn’t focus on anything else but the heat of his palm. Luckily, another couple came in after them and they were able to play against the pair in the zombie apocalypse escape room. Before the game started Toni and Chris set up a bet for whoever solved the most clues even though they were on the same team. Toni ran her hand through her loose curls to put her hair up in a ponytail waiting for the countdown and noticed Chris’s outfit, “You don’t think you’ll get hot running around in your jacket?”

As per usual Chris was clad in all black but he had on a jean jacket over a black shirt this time rather than a regular button-up.  

“I’m straight,” Chris said nonchalantly. Before she could interrogate him further, Debbie’s voice came onto the intercom letting them know she was starting the countdown. Quickly, ten seconds turned to one, and the game began.

*****************************************************************************************************

The couple walked out of the room breathless and delighted with how well the game turned out. They beat the newlyweds by a landslide with one minute to spare, and unfortunately to Chris’s exasperation, Toni solved most of the clues and now she had full reign over tonight.

“Congrats guys!” The clerk complimented as she handed them two free t-shirts for winning and even offered to snap a picture of them to put on their winner board. Chris declined grumbling about how he hated taking pictures but of course, when Toni gave him puppy dog eyes and reminded him she was the captain of tonight he grudgingly relented. Only on the grounds of them taking the photo on their personal phones and that Toni promised not to rag on him the rest of the date.  

Toni gave the woman her phone already opened to the camera app and they both took their place in front of the winner’s board. She didn’t know where to position herself, not wanting to be too much in Chris’s personal space if he wasn’t comfortable with it, but he made the decision for her when he put his arm on her shoulders and brought her in close, making Toni’s palms sweat. She quickly decided to wrap her arms around his waist praying he couldn’t feel her heart practically beat out her chest when she leaned against his side. They both looked at the camera with big smiles earning an “Awww you two are adorable!” from Debbie.

As Toni went to pull away, she brushed against something solid and what felt oddly like steel under his jacket. Stepping back Toni pondered over the fact that the object that she touched was most likely a gun and that was probably the reason why he didn’t want to take off his jacket before the game.

“Here you go hun,” Debbie said, passing Toni her phone.  

Toni graciously thanked her while she took the device and tried to school her features. She knew people had guns, even her father had some locked away at his house but something about him hiding it made her stomach roll.

They went out into the cool night and Toni walked next to Chris quietly still thinking, “So where to boss, since you running shit now.”  

A beat passed and she could see Chris in her peripheral take a look at her, wondering why she wasn’t responding.

“You good mama?” He inquired.

 She was acting like such a dumb ass, it wasn’t like he was her boyfriend he didn’t have to necessarily tell her why he had a gun and she was fine when he told her the monsters were afraid of him. So why did the gun affect her so much?

Toni looked over at him seeing his brows knitted in worry and decided to push the issue aside for a second. “Yep, but the real question is are you good after that ass whooping I gave you? Mr. I’m gonna win just watch.”

Chris groaned, “I thought you promised you wasn’t gonna flame me.”

“Obviously I lied, I just wanted you to stop whining and take the damn picture.”

“Nah, I just think you wanted a pic so you could look at it and fantasize about me all the time.”

Toni snickered and pushed him, “Please, don’t flatter yourself.”  

They were still talking when they finally reached her car. Toni leaned against her door, she could see his Range a couple of spaces from hers. “So what now Antonia?”

He asked while he stood in front of her, his hands in his pockets.

“Not sick of me yet?” Toni wondered, tilting her head.

“Never that darlin’.’”

Toni cleared her throat feeling her cheeks burn, damn him, he knew exactly what the hell he was doing. Not wanting to put it off any longer she made the choice to just ask him about the gun, not wanting to proceed with the night without being in the know.  “Can I...ugh this is probably so stupid but can I ask you a question first before we leave here?”

He straightened when he heard the way she stuttered like she was worried about questioning him, “Go ahead.”

Toni crossed her arms, “You can tell me it's none of my business and honestly it’s not that big of a deal but is there a reason why you didn’t want to tell me you were carrying a gun? I felt it while we were taking the picture.”

She was expecting him to get upset about her interrogation  but his posture went lax, seeming happy that that was what she wanted to ask.

“I didn’t say anything ‘cause I wasn’t sure if it was gonna freak you out. I use it for protection only and I should have told you instead of assuming.”  

Toni sighed and rubbed her forehead, “No, I apologize it just took me by surprise is all. I knew someone that carried and it always seemed like he used it more to showcase how much of a dick he was rather than use it as a safety precaution.”

“Hey,” Chris raised Toni’s chin, making her focus on him. “Don’t ever be scared to ask me somethin’.  Even if I don’t like the question, imma always try and give you as much of the truth that I can, aight?”

“Okay,” Toni said.

“Okay,” Chris dropped his hand and grabbed Toni’s holding it in his grasp, still looking at her, “So we gonna chill in this parking lot all night or we gonna go to the next spot?”

Toni lightly squeezed his hand with a mischievous glint in her eye, “I know the perfect place.”

“Aiight then,” Chris walked to the passenger side of her car waiting, “Let’s go.”

“You’re not gonna drive your car?” Toni wrinkled her nose, puzzled whilst unlocking the car.

Chris opened the door and simply said, “Nope I trust you,” before getting into the vehicle leaving Toni speechless.

Toni let out a harsh breath and whispered “This man is too fine,” getting into the car as well. It seemed like their night had only begun.

Tag list: @aria725 @kikilovesdankmemes​ @briannab1234​