#(same goes for the other asks being held hostage in my inbox(

[the-dye-stained-socialite]

What's your opinions on gant? I feel like it could be explored more

so. i have two fics rn that I'm working on. one of them involves some incredibly fucked up stuff with gant. like. horror level. i think gant is an absolutely fascinating color and can absolutely be used in some horrifying ways, especially with its connection to licentiates and the hallowmas moth costume

so. if i ever finish that fic. you will see what i think about gant

[baepsaesbae]

Babysitters Club

Pairing— Kim Taehyung x reader    

Genre— SMUT, fluff, babysitting au, strangers to lovers au

Warnings— Dom!Taehyung, roleplaying, face fucking, oral sex (m and f), bondage, explicit rough unprotected sex please stay safe irl, squirting, choking, hickies, a surprise cameo from Spring Will Come Again!Jungkook because I have no self control

Word Count— ~7.6k  

Summary— A generic summer job hunt leads you to babysit rowdy (but still cute) kids alongside the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. What shenanigans will you get into with Taehyung by your side?

A/N— HUGE shoutout to the lovely @kimtaehyunq​​ for making this beautiful banner for me! This was literally the Taehyung I had in mind while writing this uwu. This fic is the epitome of self indulgence but I truly hope you guys like it too! Please let me know what you think! My askbox/inbox is always open, don’t be afraid to come chat with me. Love you all, hope you guys are safe <3

Crumpled up newspapers littered the floor as another ball was apathetically tossed aside. A sigh of defeat escaped your lips as you looked up at the ceiling in desperation.

“Still at it with the job hunt, huh?” your roommate, Hyuna, said when she saw your mess, “I told you to search online. Or try to get a job at a cafe or a boba shop or something.”

“Easy jobs online seem sketchy, and I told you I don’t want to work in the food industry ever again,” you groaned.

“But you’d rather...be a babysitter?” she questioned as she held up an ad, “Wait you could get paid up to $15 an hour? That’s pretty good.”

“I didn’t see that one. Is it an agency or something?”

“Not sure, take a look,” she handed you the paper.

“Oh, it seems like it’s a daycare run out of someone’s house. They’re looking for multiple applicants. You wanna do it with me?! I think it could be fun!” you ask excitedly.

“And spend most of my summer vacation with a bunch of snot nosed brats? I don’t think so. You have fun though!” she blew you a kiss as she walked away.

You whipped your phone out and immediately called the number in the ad. This job was the only one that seemed bearable, and you thought kids were cute for the most part. You’ve had a few babysitting gigs in the past so this shouldn’t be too bad.

“Hello?” a deep voice answered the call.

“Hi, I saw your ad in the paper! I was wondering if there was still a babysitting position open?” you inquired.

“Oh yes! Yeah there’s still a spot open. Um, can you give me a sec?” the man said quickly as you heard wailing kids in the background. After two minutes or so he returned to the phone.

“I’m terribly sorry about that. You don’t have a criminal background or anything right? Gosh, I’m sure this sounds unprofessional but--”

“Nope, I don’t have any charges or anything like that. Should I call back later?” you offered since it seemed like the man was a little preoccupied.

“It’s like this all the time. Why don’t we do a practice run tomorrow? Oh! I mean, whenever you’re available to start. Or technically have an interview? I guess? Hey, don’t put that in your mouth!” the man chastised at someone in the distance.

“I can come in tomorrow!” you said.

“Great! Just use the address in the same ad you got this number from! Oh, and please get here by 9am! See you soon!” the man hung up abruptly.

“That was chaotic…” you said to yourself.

A moment later your phone began to ring. It was from the babysitting guy.

“Hello?” you answered.

“I realized I never got your name! I promise I’m not always this frazzled,” he laughed as rambunctious laughter erupted behind him.

“Oh, I’m ______,” you gave him your first and last name.

“Cool. See you tomorrow Miss ____!” he said before hanging up again.

You were actually excited to babysit. It had been a while since you had done it, and playing with kids was usually fun. Then again, you’ve never had a bad experience with babysitting before. You prayed that this gig would continue the positive trend.

Donning shorts and a simple Mickey Mouse t-shirt, (you figured some kid was bound to like the mousey character) it was time to head off to your potential workplace. The babysitting place was actually fairly close to you, only about a 10 minute drive. It was 8:55am by the time you arrived. A couple of parents walked past your car to drop off their kids. All of the kids seemed to be pretty excited to enter the house, which was definitely a good sign.

You gently knocked on the door at exactly 9am. There was no response as you awkwardly waited for about a minute or so. All you could hear was shrill laughter and thumps that you presumed was the kids running about. You realized there was a doorbell, and sighed at your foolishness.

The door opened seconds after you rang the doorbell. A tall man with dark hair greeted you with a warm smile. You were taken aback by the handsome guy, suddenly questioning whether you were at the right place or not until a child popped up from behind his shoulder and yelled out a loud “Boo!” that caused you to jump.

“Ah, sorry about that! This one is always trying to play pranks,” the man laughed as he playfully jostled the child that was latched onto his back, “You must be ______?”

“That’s me!” you say with a little too much enthusiasm.

“Cool. C’mon in, I’ll introduce you to the kids,” the man led you inside.

The living room was littered with toys, from cars to building blocks to barbies. This place was definitely a kid’s happy place. Four little kids were playing with various things when you walked in. All of the kids there seemed to be between the ages of 4 to 6. At a glance, it seemed like they were all playing house. It took you a few seconds to realize that one of the kids was actually playing by herself; she was just physically close to the other kids.

“Everyone! This is our newest helper! Her name is Miss ____. Let’s all play nicely with her okay?” the man announced.

The kids playing house immediately stopped what they were doing and rushed to you. Two boys began asking you questions in a rapid fire succession, while the little girl merely clung to your leg.

“Those two are Kota and Bel,” the man pointed to the two boys, “The little girl stuck to you like glue is Ava, and the one playing over there is Lucy,” he continued to name each child.

“AND I’M SAM!!” the last boy exclaimed over the man’s shoulder.

“Yes, this troublemaker here is Sam. That’s basically the whole gang! We could get a few more additions as the summer goes on, but these guys are the OG crew. They’re all really sweet kids, once you get to know them. Any questions so far?” your employer asked.

“I don’t think I ever caught your name, sir,” you say politely.

“Oh! No need to call me sir. I think we’re probably around the same age? Not that I’m assuming your age or anything but--”

“He’s my horsey!” Sam interrupted.

“No, he’s the chef!” Kota yelled.

“No, he’s our dad who’s not our dad,” Lucy chimed in.

“My mom told me he was a babysitter?” Bel added, now visibly confused.

“I am all of those things,” the man reassured the children, “But my name is Taehyung. The kids call me Tae or Mr. insert whatever title I have in the game we are playing on that day. Pleasure to meet ya,” Tae extends a hand out to you, “Let’s see how your first day goes.”

The first few hours consisted of a rather intricate game of pretend set up in a fantasy world. You played a princess who was captured by an evil dragon, who was played by Taehyung (you couldn’t help but think about how you wouldn’t mind being his hostage).

The boys were valiant knights on their quest to rescue you. The girls played different creatures that aided the knights as fairies or unicorns or any other things they wanted to be. Most of the game consisted of you and Taehyung sitting together in a corner of the living room. Even though you didn’t have to do anything, it was fun watching the kids play. Their imagination amused you.

“Enjoying yourself, princess?” Taehyung asked as he also watched the children run around.

His deep voice sent chills down your spine. Something about the way the word “princess” rolled off his tongue was so enchanting. You cleared your throat before answering.

“This job has been pretty fun so far, Mr. Evil Dragon,” you smile.

“Hey! I’m not evil, just misunderstood,” he protested.

“Oh no! The dragon is about to eat the princess!” one of the boys cried out.

“What? No, I’m not going to eat her,” Taehyung said defensively.

“You need to pretend to eat the princess so that the knights save her,” Lucy, the quiet one, scuttled over to whisper to the both of you before hurrying back to her spot.

Taehyung turned towards you to appease the kids as they held their breath in anticipation.

“Rawr! I’m going to eat you!” he said in a deep voice.

“Oh no! Somebody save me!” you cried out, playing along.

A few moments passed but none of the kids moved. You both turned your heads towards them in confusion. They stared back at you blankly.

“You need to bite her!” Sam demanded.

“What?” you and Tae said in unison.

“Bite her! Bite her! Bite her!” the boys started to chant.

“But not too hard!” Ava expressed her worry for you, making you smile.

“I…uh…” Taehyung was at a loss for words.

“They’re not gonna stop, are they?” you whispered to him.

He nodded with a sigh as their chanting got louder. You offered him your arm. Kids can be crazy stubborn over silly things. Besides, you’ve done worse for less (college is crazy).

Taehyung shot you an “are you sure about this?” look, to which you just nodded. Once he got the okay, Taehyung grabbed your arm and pulled you harshly, causing your face to be a mere inches away from his.

“Fools! You think you can save the princess? I will devour her before your very eyes!” Taehyung declared with an even deeper voice. He opened his mouth menacingly, as if to show off his fangs. Then, he proceeded to bite your bicep. To be honest, he was being so forceful that you thought he was going to bite you for real, causing you to involuntarily close your eyes.

Instead, he gingerly placed his teeth on your skin so lightly that you could barely feel anything. You opened your eyes to see Taehyung grinning at you with your arm in his mouth.

“Aaaaggghhh GET HIM!!” Sam yelled, leading the other boys straight into Taehyung.

Taehyung quickly let go of you before he rolled out onto the floor. The boys began to pummel Taehyung with their foam swords and pretend bows and arrows. The girls came to your aid to help you escape during the battle.

The little boys triumphantly stood over their defeated babysitter who pretended to be passed out on the floor. You applauded their victory as the girls sat by your side.

“Okay! Good game, it’s almost lunchtime,” Taehyung announced as he quickly popped back up.

“Chef Tae makes the best mac and cheese!” Ava informed you excitedly.

“I wanted dino nuggies!” Sam puffed out his cheeks in disappointment.

“Sam, you know it’s Ava’s day to pick out lunch. It’ll be your turn tomorrow okay? I promise! You guys can stay here and play with Miss ____ till food is ready,” Tae called out as he walked to the kitchen. Lucy silently followed Tae.

“Lucy likes to help out in the kitchen a lot. She sets the table,” Ava explained when she saw you watching Lucy.

“You’re good at being a princess!” Kota butted in as he ran to hug your leg.

“I like your shirt! I like Mickey Mouse too. I saw him in DisneyWorld last year,” Bel said as he clung to your other leg.

The kids took turns holding onto your legs as you tried to walk around. Apparently the thought of making you tumble over was an exciting one, and that kept the kids busy until Taehyung called for everyone.

Five little bowls of mac and cheese were set up on the dining table. The kids took their seats as Taehyung handed out juice boxes. He positioned himself by your side as the little ones began to chow down.

“I normally just eat the rest out of the pot, but since you’re here I can get you a bowl. Sorry about biting you earlier, the kids really like it when I get serious about my roles,” Taehyung chuckled as he scooped out your portion.

“It’s no problem, you’re a great actor. Thank you,” you say politely as he handed you a bowl.

Lunch was spent making small talk with Taehyung. He was a newly graduated college student trying to make extra money before starting a real job hunt.Taehyung had been running this makeshift daycare since he was a senior in highschool.

“Summers are always fun with them,” Taehyung said while smiling fondly at the kids, “How has it been so far?” he asked.

“I’ve been having a good time. The kids are all really sweet! They have so much energy,” you answer.

“They do indeed, which is why playtime is so important in the morning! It makes what comes next easier,” he winked at you before collecting the empty bowls, “Okay kiddos! Who’s ready for nap time?”

Lucy quietly raised her hand while the boys groaned. You figured it would be hard to get those active boys to settle down, let alone to take a nap. You helped Taehyung set up blankets and pillows in the game room. The kids made a beeline to their designated blankets without a fuss.

“Do you sing, Miss _____?” Taehyung asked out of the blue.

“Um, not really?” you say hesitantly.

“Ah, I see. No worries. Everybody ready?” he said.

“Yes!” all the kids replied.

“Alrighty. Do you have any song requests, Miss ____?”

You thought about which songs would make for a decent lullaby, “Do you know Adore You by Harry Styles?”

“I’ll have to look up the lyrics but yeah I like that song! I like his whole album actually,” Taehyung nodded as he pulled out his phone and took a deep breath, “Walk in your rainbow paradise~”

You were shocked by his vocal talent. His voice control was superb and the quality of his voice was downright euphoric. Even though Taehyung’s voice is deeper than Harry Styles’, his range was incredible. He was still able to go as high as Harry without any trouble. All the kids had fallen sound asleep by the time he finished the song.

“This is when I typically have about an hour of free time,” he said after quietly leading you back into the kitchen.

“You have such a beautiful voice! Do you sing to them every day?” you praised him.

“Thanks! Yeah, I sing to them every day. They used to get duets actually,” Taehyung sighed.

“Did you have another coworker before?” you asked.

“Yep. My best friend actually. He’s my roommate too, but he landed an internship this summer so he couldn’t be here. I’m very proud of him! But usually this is a job for two people so I decided to put that ad out. I’m happy you came out! The kids seem to like you,” Taehyung gave you a thumbs up.

“I hope so! Lucy might be scared of me though,” you recalled the way she mostly avoided you all morning.

“Nah, she’s just really shy. She told me that she thought you were really pretty though, so that’s a good sign!” he tried to reassure you.

“I guess it must be true then. Kids are brutally honest,” you smiled.

“She definitely wasn’t lying,” Taehyung smiled back at you.

You had to look away awkwardly to hide your blushed cheeks. There’s no way you could handle a direct smile from this guy. How was it possible for someone to be that handsome without even trying?!

“So what happens after naptime?” you quickly asked to change the subject.

“Basically more playing until their parents come. It honestly just depends on what the kids wanna do. We can play inside, in the backyard, and sometimes we go to the park,” Taehyung answered with an amused smile, “Let’s use this free time to conduct a more formal interview, shall we?”

Taehyung then asked you a series of questions about your summer schedule, if you’re willing to work every day of the week, how you feel about the kids, along with other things. You answered truthfully and kept up a professional demeanor. Taehyung seemed to be satisfied with your answers and leaned back in his chair.

“That all works for me! The people who really need to approve of you are the parents. I’ll introduce you to them later this afternoon. I’m sure they’ll all be fine once I vouch for you,” he nodded.

Soft giggles caught your attention. Taehyung signaled that break time was now over and led the way back to the living room. Kota and Bel were wrestling each other while the others threw pillows at them.  

“Did everyone have a good nap?” Taehyung sing songed.

“Yes!” they replied.

“Can we play house now?” Ava asked.

“Yeah! Miss ____ can be the mommy now!” Sam bounced up in excitement, “Our last mommy used to be a boy.”

“Jimin was a great mommy and I’m sure he misses you all dearly. Jimin is my roommate/best friend/ex-cobabysitter,” Taehyung explained.

The game of house was more hands on from your end. The kids demanded you to carry them and read them stories like a real mommy would. It was mainly the girls who wanted to play with you, while the boys took turns wrestling with Tae or riding on his back. You were braiding Lucy’s hair when the doorbell rang.

“Kota! Your mom is here!” Taehyung called from the front.

All the kids trickled out one by one as their parents arrived. Taehyung introduced you to each parent; their reactions were all positive, especially when their kids raved about you being the new Jimin.

“If she’s anything like Jimin, then I have nothing to worry about. I trust your judgement, Taehyung,” one of the sterner looking parents said (Sam’s father to be exact).

“Congrats! You got the job,” Taehyung congratulated you once all of the children were picked up, “We get paid on Fridays. I’ll basically just split what we earn 50/50, cool?”

“That’s fine by me! I’m looking forward to working with you,” you bow graciously.

“Ah! No need to be so formal. We’re partners now! I’m not your boss or anything,” Taehyung gave you a friendly pat on the shoulder, “See you tomorrow!”

Summer was about to get rather eventful. All of the children warmed up to you surprisngly quickly, even timid Lucy (who had arguably grown the most fond of you). As the days went on, you couldn’t help but admire Taehyung’s kindness and patience when it came to the kids. From firm to understanding, he was everything a caregiver should be. He handled spats between kids with ease, often by making them forgive each other then laugh at some silly joke of his.

One afternoon, the kids voted to watch a Disney movie. All seven of you curled up on the couch together with you and Taehyung in the middle. Lucy sat in your lap while Bel sat in Taehyung’s. Halfway through the movie, Taehyung fell asleep. The kids didn’t notice since they were so engrossed in the movie. You however, DID notice. Mostly because he rolled his sleepy head onto your shoulder.

Your heartbeat quickened as you slowly turned to take a peek at the handsome man sleeping beside you. He looked angelic, and you realized that he smelled pleasant too. He had a sweet scent that was uncharacteristic for a young man. You took a deep breath and pretended not to notice him. He didn’t wake up until the doorbell rang near the end of the movie.

He seemed to be confused and perhaps even slightly flustered when he lifted his head from your shoulder, but quickly shrugged it off to go answer the door. The incident (and the drool on your shoulder) was never mentioned.

It had been a month since you started babysitting with Taehyung, and it honestly had been a lot more fun than you expected. The kids are wonderful silly little beings and Taehyung is...well...Taehyung.

You were cleaning up the living room on a late Friday afternoon after all the kids had been picked up. Taehyung was somewhere splitting up the week’s paycheck. Once all the toys were back in their respective bins, it was time to gather your stuff and go.

“Great work this week,” Taehyung commended as he handed you your cut.

“Thanks! Same to you as always. I’ll see you on Monday,” you wave as you open the front door.

“Actually um--” Taehyung cleared his throat.

“Yes?” you whipped around with almost too much eagerness.

“My friend is part of an art gallery showing tomorrow night and I was wondering if you’d like to go with me? I heard there will be drinks and finger foods…” Taehyung trailed off, presumably due to imagining what kind of snacks will be served.

“I’d love to! I’m not an expert on art or anything, but it sounds cool,” you smile.

“No worries, I’m no expert either. I’m just a guy who appreciates neat expressions of creativity,” he nodded humbly, “I can pick you up at your place, if you’d like.”

“Sure, I’ll text you my address. Oh uh, what’s the dress code like? I don’t really attend these things,” you ask shyly.

“I’d say a step down from formal? Like no t-shirts or jeans. Pretend like you’re going on a date to some restaurant that isn’t a michelin star but is still classier than Olive Garden,” Taehyung tried to explain.

“I’ll do my best,” you smile at his peculiar way of describing the appropriate attire.

A smile never left your face as you drove home. A chance to hangout with Taehyung one on one without any kids around? All of his attention will be on you? Yes please. You love the kids and all, but you finally have a real chance to get closer to Taehyung. To be honest, you might have the teensiest little crush on him, but who could blame you?

The next day was spent preparing for your night out with Taehyung. It probably wasn’t a date (90% sure it’s not), but you wanted to look irresistible anyway. You put on a purple dress with flowy sleeves that made you feel like a princess. It was on the dressier side, but being slightly overdressed never hurt anyone.

You usually only had time to slap on mascara and a lip tint in the mornings before babysitting, but now you had abundant time to play around with your makeup. You settled for a soft yet glamorous look with shimmery eyeshadow and eyeliner. Sparkly lip gloss tied the whole look together and made your lips look tempting (or so you hoped). You decided to leave your hair alone since you were having a miraculously good hair day.

“Wow are you sure this isn’t a date?” Hyuna whistled when she walked into your room.

“It’s not! This is just the first time Taehyung will see me actually trying to look good,” you say defensively.

“You’re cute even in ratty t-shirts, but I get what you mean. Have fun tonight!” your roommate gave you a tight hug.

A strong knock on your front door indicated Taehyung’s arrival. Hyuna tagged along as you went to answer the door; she wanted to see the guy you’ve been gushing over for the past month for herself.

Your mouth hung open in shock for a split second when you opened the door. Taehyung also dressed up. He was wearing a bright sunflower shirt paired with a black blazer that perfectly combined fun with sophistication. He wore a red silky bandana looking belt for an added pop of color with his black pants.

“Hey Taehyung!” you greet him happily.

“Good evening, Miss ____. You look spectacular!” he complimented you immediately.

“So do you! It’s funny seeing you not in a t-shirt, though I’m sure you’re thinking the same thing,” you say.

“You’re charming even in your graphic tees, but this is a nice change of pace too,” Taehyung agreed.

“Hi! I’m Hyuna, ____’s roommate,” Hyuna butted in to shake his hand.

“Hi, I’m Taehyung, ____’s babysitting partner,” he introduced himself.

“We should get going,” you say politely before Hyuna could start to get chatty.

Hyuna mouthed an exaggerated “oh my god” coupled with a double thumbs up as you waved goodbye after Taehyung was already out the door. You playfully rolled your eyes but blew her a kiss anyway.

“I didn’t realize you lived so close to me,” Taehyung said as he pulled away from the curb.

“Yeah, it made the job even more appealing,” you nodded.

“I really am glad that you applied,” Taehyung said softly, as if to himself.

“Sorry, what was that?” you couldn’t hear him properly.

“Nothing! I said I’m glad you agreed to accompany me tonight!” Taehyung quickly stated.

“Thanks for inviting me out! I’m actually pretty excited,” you admitted.

The gallery was somewhere in the swanky part of downtown. You gazed out of the window at all of the high end stores Taehyung drove by. Everyone walking around the stores looked like supermodels, which was actually pretty intimidating. What if the people at the gallery looked like that too?

“We’re here!” Taehyung announced, interrupting your thoughts.

There was a decent amount of people wandering around the venue when you both entered. It was basically one big dimly lit room with spotlights on pieces scattered around on the walls plus some sculptures in the middle. Thankfully, the patrons already inside looked like normal people, most of them probably students like you.

“Taehyung!” someone called from the side of the room.

You both made your way towards the voice, only to find a man who was just as handsome as Taehyung greeting you with a bunny like smile. He had long hair that almost covered up his assorted dangly earrings. He definitely had art student vibes mixed with a dash of bad boy. The boys greeted each other with a ferocious hug, indicating that they’re probably good friends.

“Oh! What’s up, I’m Jungkook,” the boy shook your hand once he noticed you.

“She’s my babysitting partner this summer,” Taehyung said proudly.

“She’s replacing Jimin huh?” Jungkook laughed, “Taehyung and Jimin are like my brothers. We were all pretty close in college and are batchmates, even though I’m younger than them,” he stuck his tongue out at Taehyung.

“Yeah yeah okay whatever. Skipping grades in elementary school and bringing in a ton of transfer credits will help you do that I guess,” Taehyung shook his head even though he was still smiling.

“Are these your pictures?” you asked Jungkook, motioning to the mounted pictures behind him.

“Yeah! I took most of these in Madrid, I’ve been working abroad for my dream company,” Jungkook answered you proudly.

“Who’s this?” Taehyung pointed to a picture of a girl laughing by a giant tree.

“Yeah, she’s gorgeous!” you added.

“She’s um...a good friend. She was the perfect model,” Jungook said with a faraway look in his eyes that told you there was more to the story.

“Tell me more about her on our next phone call. Tonight is for celebrating you!” Taehyung picked up on Jungkook’s sudden change of tone.

You enjoyed listening to their old college stories as the boys reminisced about their past together. Jungkook relished telling you all of Taehyung’s embarrassing moments at various parties. Taehyung returned the favor by recalling Jungkook’s past run-ins with women. Despite his natural charm and god like looks, apparently Jungkook gets really nervous around girls.

You and Taehyung were on your own once Jungkook was flagged down by an older patron interested in purchasing some of his work. Taehyung stayed close to your side as you explored the rest of the gallery. Each artist was so incredibly talented as their pictures told  stories with just a single frame.

“____ look! They have those fancy charcuterie boards!” Taehyung grabbed your hand and excitedly dragged you over to the snack table. You couldn’t help but smile at his childlike elation.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’ve been getting tired of being force fed fruit snacks every day,” you laughed as you ate the assorted appetizers.

“I completely understand. Unfortunately, the kids are too sweet when they want to share. I don’t have it in me to turn them down,” Taehyung agreed.

Once the food was eaten, you resumed walking through the gallery. It was fun making up stories to go with each picture. Taehyung seemed to gravitate towards adding a romantic twist to each story, while you opted for a bit of mystery. At the end of the event, Taehyung met up with Jungkook once more to say his goodbyes.

“Thanks again for coming with me, I had fun! I hope you enjoyed yourself,” Taehyung said as he drove you back.

“It was really neat! I liked hanging out with you outside of work,” you nodded.

“Would you say it was a successful date then?” Taehyung raised an eyebrow with curiosity. Your heart skipped a beat as your eyes widened with surprise.

“Was...was this a date?” you asked quietly.

“Did you want it to be?” Taehyung teased.

“I wouldn’t have gotten so dressed up otherwise,” you said defensively, taken aback by his sudden cheekiness.

“I realized I should’ve clarified that after you had already left. My bad,” Taehyung shot you a boxy grin, “But then I figured maybe you would be more relaxed if I didn’t mention it.”

“That’s odd logic, but I guess it worked,” you admitted begrudgingly.

Taehyung walked you back up to your house. He sweetly kissed your cheek and bid you goodnight, leaving you frozen in place.

“S-see you on Monday!” was all you were able to stammer out, to which Taehyung just smiled and waved back.

Hyuna happily freaked out with you once you were back inside. She was watching you from the moment Taehyung pulled back up. She shrieked with excitement once you told her that Taehyung confirmed that it was a date. Hyuna didn’t let up with grilling questions about how your night went. She even asked if the Jungkook guy you met was single, to which you truthfully answered that you didn’t know.

“Besides, he told me himself that he’s scared of girls. You’re scary enough as is,” you teased her.

“Oh shut up. So is Taehyung like, your boyfriend now?” Hyuna asked the million dollar question.

“I don’t think so. I think it was just a date, but that’s a good start!” you declared optimistically.

Babysitting on Monday went on like normal. Taehyung didn’t act any differently, which was both concerning and relieving. You were in the backyard pretending to eat whatever dirt concoction the little kids were serving you.

“This one is for you,” Lucy quietly offered Taehyung a clump of dirt sprinkled with blades of grass, topped with a dandelion.

“Oh, how pretty! What is it?” Taehyung played along.

“It’s a love potion. The next person you hug will fall in love with you,” Lucy smiled.

A smirk crept on Taehyung’s face as he pretended to eat Lucy’s love potion. He made a satisfied “Ahh” sound that made Lucy giggle.

“Tae has to hug me now! He loves me the most!” Sam yelled as he ran over to latch onto Taehyung.

“No, Tae loves me!” Bel argued as he pulled on Taehyung’s shirt.

“That’s not how it works!” Lucy huffed as she yelled at the boys.

You watched with delight as the little kids chased Taehyung around the backyard, demanding that he has to hug them. It was easy for him to juke them out as they constantly ran back and forth. You were content with just watching them until Taehyung began to make a beeline for you.

“Oh no no no,” you cried as you got up to run.

Taehyung (and the kids) chased you around for a little bit. The backyard was on the smaller side, so there wasn’t much space to evade all of them coming for you at once. To make matters worse, Taehyung actually started to try and catch you. His speed was no joke; he was much more agile than you gave him credit for.

With one pounce, Taehyung tackled you to the ground. Somehow he managed to whip himself around while you were falling, so you ended up falling on him. Now wrapped up in his arms, Taehyung smiled up at you with a shit eating grin.

“I guess you have to fall in love with me now,” he smirked.

“You wish,” you laughed as you pulled yourself up.

“Aw now he loves Miss _____,” Sam pouted.

“No, now Miss ____ has to fall in love with Tae,” Ava corrected him.

“That’s dumb,” Kota shook his head.

“Tae! Kota said a bad word!” Bel immediately tattled.

“Kota, remember what I said about bad words. No one wants to play with someone who says mean things,” Taehyung chided him.

“Sorry,” Kota mumbled.

“Let’s play go play inside. Who wants juice?” Taehyung patted Kota’s head.

The kids followed Taehyung inside like little ducklings. You loved that sight, you always thought it was the cutest thing. The rest of the day went by without a hitch.

The topic of favorite movies came up during lunchtime the next day.

“I like Frozen 2,” Ava stated, and Lucy nodded furiously in agreement.

“Detective Pikachu was better. Pikachu is funny,” Sam interjected. The other little boys then began to argue about which pokemon was better/stronger.

“I’m not really a big movie watcher,” Taehyung confessed as he took a bite of a dino chicken nugget.

“Have you at least seen the classics? Harry Potter? Lord of the Rings? Star Wars?” you listed with concern.

“I’ve seen Harry Potter and Star Wars. I think I saw the Lord of the Rings? I can’t really remember. I know I wanted to watch the newer Lord of the Rings movies,” he chuckled at your growing disbelief.

“Newer Lord of the Rings? You mean the Hobbit series?” you were disgruntled.

“Yeah those. I didn’t realize you were a nerd,” he nudged you.

“What of it? All of those are great movies. I have copies of the Hobbit series if you ever wanted to watch them,” you offered.

“Do you wanna watch them with me?” he perked up.

“Sure, I love them! You wanna do a marathon? It’ll take up a full day though,” you warned.

“I’m down. Are you free this Sunday?”

“I believe so.”

“Great! I’m excited to see you geek out over hobbits. Okay kids, naptime!”

You drove up to Taehyung’s place Sunday morning, you weren’t kidding when you said it would take all day. Taehyung said to dress comfortably so you showed up in your sweatpants and oversized college tee. He answered the door wearing gray sweatpants and his favorite CELINE shirt. His dark fluffy hair fell over his forehead and was almost long enough to cover his eyes.

“Good morning! I hope you’re hungry. I made some waffles to eat while we watch the first movie,” he greeted you.

His humble abode smelled heavenly as the scent of dough tinged with a hint of cinnamon wafted through the air. The soft belgian waffles were delicious as they practically melted in your mouth. Taehyung asked a ton of questions with nearly every scene, but you didn’t mind. You were happy to flex your knowledge of Tolkien lore.

Hours later, you found yourself cuddled up with Taehyung as the final credits of the Battle of Five Armies began to roll. Taehyung was still trying to process everything that happened as he asked you clarifying questions about each character.

“Well crap, now I’m sad,” he pouted.

“Yeah, the ending is kind of a downer, but that’s what makes it so good! The Lord of the Rings has a happy ending if that makes you feel better,” you look up at him from his chest.

“You look cute like that,” he observed.

“Like what? Tiny from your angle?” you tilted your head.

“I guess so? Tiny, maybe submissive,” Taehyung’s voice lowered with his suggestion.

“Submissive? Is that how you see me?” you sit back up completely with defiance.

“Not at all. You’re pretty feisty, which is why making you be submissive is even more alluring,” he raised his eyebrow in a suggestive manner.

“Do you want me to be a damsel in distress for you? Not happening,” you smirked.

“Pretty princesses are good for one thing,” Taehyung hopped off the couch.

Before you could say anything, he promptly grabbed you and swung you over his shoulder. You were too shocked by his boldness and physical abilities to retaliate.

“They’re perfect for kidnapping!” he let out a dramatic evil laugh as he carried you off to his bedroom.

Once there, he roughly threw you on the bed. You couldn’t help but look around curiously since this was the first time you’ve ever seen his room. It was surprisingly neat; his bed was made and there were no messy clothing piles in sight.

“Are you an evil dragon then? Capturing princesses and such?” you teased.

“Evil dragon, dashing captor, I can be anything you want me to be. Just please not an orc,” he let out a chuckle before getting back into character, “Just know that you’re trapped here with me. No one is going to rescue you.”

“Oh no! What a terrible situation to be in! What on Earth is this extremely handsome dragon going to do with a poor defenseless princess like me?” you taunted.

“Ok this is all very hot but before we go any further, are you okay with this?” Taehyung asked sincerely.

“I can’t think of anything that I’ve wanted more,” you nodded.

“Perfect. Safe word is red,” he winked at you, “Now strip for me, princess.”

“And if I don’t?” you challenged.

Taehyung grabbed a fistful of hair on the back of your head and forcefully brought you up to his face, “I suggest not making me angry,” he sneered.

You didn’t think you were one for being manhandled, but god damn that was hot. There was already a tingle between your legs and he hadn’t even really touched you yet. You complied with his request, and quickly tore off your shirt and pants. Though you weren’t wearing any fancy lingerie, you were wearing a gray bra and gray panties that could pass off as matching.

“Mmm what a pretty treasure. It would be a shame to let it gounappreciated,” Taehyung stretched out that last word as he gently ran his fingers from your torso up to your neck before firmly grasping it.

Taehyung straddled you as his long fingers were wrapped around your neck. Slowly, he leaned down to kiss you. Though apprehensive at first, he gradually got more bold with it. His tongue dipped into your mouth the instant your lips parted. His other hand crept under your bra to fondle your breast.

“You take your clothes off too,” you said as soon as the kiss broke.

“You don’t get to make any demands, silly princess,” Taehyung shook his head.

You pouted and reached out to tug at his pants anyway. Big mistake. Taehyung slapped your hand away and slammed you back onto the bed.

“You don’t listen, huh? I’ll have to do something about that. Stay still or else you’ll make things worse for yourself,” he ordered.

You reluctantly obeyed, partly because you were curious about what he was going to do, and partly because you were actually intimidated by him. He returned back to the bed a few seconds later, but with a familiar silky red belt in hand.

“Give me your hands. Good girl,” he smiled deviously as he bound them together, “Remember the safe word is red, okay?” he gently reminded you.

He looked down at you with a satisfied grin as he began to take off his sweatpants. He had an obvious bulge in his underwear that outlined his massive dick. You were further entranced by his physique when he took off his shirt. He wasn’t ripped, but he was still fit, as you could plainly see when his chest was finally revealed.

“Open wide, princess,” he demanded.

You opened your mouth, and even flattened your tongue out a little bit for him. He pulled his cock out of his underwear, finally exposing his full length. You doubted you could fit even half of him in your mouth, but at this point it wasn’t up to you.

Taehyung lowered himself down to you, and teasingly tapped the tip of his cock on your tongue. He slowly eased himself into your mouth, forcing you to open your mouth even wider to account for his girth. He made his way back out once you gagged. He grabbed your head to hold you steady as he fucked your mouth once more. He got closer and closer to the back of your throat until he finally hit it. All you could focus on was breathing as tears welled up in your eyes. Taehyung thrusted a couple more times before he pulled out completely.

“Good girl indeed. Well done, princess,” he softly stroked your chin before wiping your tears away. All you could do was smile meekly back at him.

“Don’t worry, it’s time for your reward,” Taehyung smiled down at you as his hand slipped under your panties, “Oh you’re so wet. I can’t wait to taste you.”

He positioned himself between your thighs after he tore off your panties. His thumb fiddled with your clit, causing you to squirm. He placed a strong grip on your thigh to hold you down as he circled your clit faster. Your helpless whimpers were music to Taehyung’s ears.

Without warning, he easily stuck two fingers into you. He didn’t even let you adjust as he rapidly fingered you, his fingers curving to graze your g-spot with every stroke. His tongue swirled around your clit, adding even more toe curling sensations.

Him adding a third finger was the catalyst for the strongest orgasm you’ve ever had in your life. There wasn’t even a build up, everything just hit you at once. Suddenly you were crying out even louder as you violently came. Did it occur to you that you were squirting all over Taehyung and his bed? No. Were you doing exactly that? Absolutely.

“Delicious,” Taehyung said as he licked his lips, “Look at the fucking mess you made.”

“I-i’m sorry,” you managed to stutter, you were still recovering from your orgasm.

“It’s only fair that it’s my turn to make a mess now. Do I need to get a condom, princess?” he cooed.

You weakly shook your head. You needed to feel all of him, right now. Taehyung chuckled at your neediness as he aligned himself with your pussy. He slowly inserted his entire length into you until the base of his cock touched your soaked pussy. You moaned together as he stayed still for a second. You looked up to see Taehyung’s face lit up with pure bliss.

“You’re still so fucking wet,” he growled as he began to mercilessly buck his hips into you.

You moaned with every thrust as Taehyung shook the entire bed. Taehyung placed both of your legs on his shoulders, allowing him to hit you even deeper from this new angle. He leaned over to plant his lips on your neck as he fucked you. What started as a gentle peck took a violent turn as he harshly sucked on your neck. He left dark spots wherever his lips touched, and soon you were covered in dark blooms.

“Do you want me to soil your back or your chest?” he asked in a guttural tone.

“Back?” you answer dubiously.

You were immediately flipped over. You were laying flat on your chest waiting for him to prop up your ass, but he never did. Instead, he simply spread your legs wider and fucked you flat against the bed. Taehyung grabbed your ass and spread your cheeks to get a better view of your sopping pussy. You could feel another orgasm brewing as he fucked even deeper into you, and his cock was continuously dragging against your g-spot.

“Taehyung, I--”

“I know, princess. Let it all out. I want to feel you come on my dick,” he demanded.

A few more strong strokes was all it took for you to go limp under him as your orgasm took over. Seconds after you hit your high, Taehyung pulled out and came all over your back.

Once you were all cleaned up, Taehyung untied you and kissed your forehead.

“How was it, princess?” he asked as he stroked your hair.

“I’ve never been fucked by a beast before, but now I don’t want anything else,” you admitted before kissing his neck.

“Good. I was worried about going overboard. As I told you before, I really like getting into character,” he laughed.

“I’ve never been into roleplay but I’m willing to change for you. Oh shit, it’s late already,” you noticed the time on his alarm clock.

“Just stay the night. I don’t think the kids will care if you’re wearing sweatpants or not. I can lend you a turtleneck to cover up those hickies though,” Taehyung yawned.

“Are you sure?” you questioned.

“Yeah, I don’t mind. Be warned, I’m a cuddler,” he pulled you closer to him.

“I guess I can sleep in a little later then,” you reasoned.

“Perfect. Goodnight, princess,” he quickly kissed your lips.

“You’re sleeping like that?”

“Like what?”

“Butt naked?”

“I can put clothes on if it makes you uncomfortable. I just figured it would make things easier for tomorrow morning,” he said sleepily.

“Tomorrow morning?” that got your attention.

“You’ll see! Be patient, princess. Night night.”

Never in a million years would you have guessed that applying for a babysitting job would result in this, but you weren’t complaining.

Published April 17, 2021. No editing, copying, translating, or reposting allowed. All Rights Reserved © 2021 Baepsaesbae.

[buckyodinson]

NSFW Alphabet - The Mandalorian (fem!reader)

Nobody requested this, but my inbox is empty currently, so I thought I’d try and practice my smut writing, so here you go - let me know what you think? Or maybe if you want one for another one of Pedro’s characters?

Word Count: about 3k

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Din tends to become quite touchy after sex. He’ll grab a washcloth from the refresher, and clean you up, before coming back and laying down with you, his whole body pressed up against you. Like he can’t get enough of your skin on his. As much as he enjoys the actual sex itself, he loves the come down, where he can just lay with you and forget his troubles for a little while. He knows soon enough he’ll be back in all his armour, so he likes to make the most of the time you’re happy to just lay there with him. He keeps an arm wrapped firmly around your waist, keeping you flush against him, and his fingers will dance across the skin of your stomach.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Din doesn’t spend an awful lot of time seeing his own body, so if he had to pick a favourite part of his own body, it’d probably be his hands. They do the job he needs them to do, pulling triggers or fighting his way out of a brawl. But back on the Crest with you, they do wonders elsewhere. He loves the sounds he can pull out of you just by using his hands. He takes great delight in being the one to give you such pleasure. In terms of your body, apart from the obvious (he loves your pussy), he’s obsessed with your legs. He loves digging his fingers into your thighs when you ride him, and he can’t get enough of you walking around the Crest in nothing but one of his shirts, your bare legs out. He loves absentmindedly running his fingers along your legs while you’re laying next to him.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He’ll cum just about anywhere you let him. His favourite place is inside you, obviously. He’ll never get enough of the sight of it dripping out of you afterwards, and he sometimes thinks it’s such a shame when he cleans you up. But sometimes he’s in a mood to cum on you, and you never complain. If it’s not in your pussy or in your mouth, he loves to cum over your thighs. As mentioned before, he’s obsessed with your legs, and he loves the way it looks painted over your thighs. He’ll run his fingers through it before reaching for your mouth, silently asking you to lick his fingers clean, and you always oblige.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Once, another bounty hunter had kidnapped you and held you hostage, hoping to use you to lure Din, and steal the Child. When Din fought and killed the bounty hunter and found you, you were handcuffed and chained to the wall. Your arms were raised completely above your head, feet barely grazing the ground, and it made your chest stick out just that little bit more than usual. He felt bad for thinking it, but he couldn’t help but think how attractive you looked tied up. He was glad for the helmet, because it hid the sinful look on his face as he approached you to untie you. He definitely got turned on by the whole thing, and he did feel really bad afterwards. He’s wanted to bring it up with you, about maybe using his handcuffs, but he’s scared you wouldn’t be into it so he keeps it to himself.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s had some experience, but the very basics. Most of his sexual encounters before have been meaningless flings just to relieve tension. They were always quick fucks, where he’d pretty much just get his cock out and fuck whoever it was, shedding none of his armour or underclothes. With you, everything was new. Taking his time undressing you, and exploring your body before getting to the main event. He cares about your pleasure as much as (if not more than) his own. You’re the first person to see him completely bare, apart from the helmet, so that was a very new feeling for him. After a while, he also started to blindfold you every now and then, going down on you. And he’s upset that he’s been missing out on this all these years, but then he’s glad that you’re the first person to experience this pleasure from him.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying.)

He loves to see your face, so missionary is the go-to. He likes to see the effect he has on you, loves to see the way your face contorts in pleasure when he hits that sweet spot inside you, or when he starts circling your clit ever so lightly. He’s also partial to you on top, letting you take a little control over things. Sometimes if he’s in a mood, he’ll want you on your hands and knees as he pounds into you from behind, but most of the time he wants to see your face. When you ride him, he especially likes when you rest your forehead against his helmeted one.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He’s serious in the moment. This isn’t something he’s done a lot in his life, especially with someone he cares deeply about, and he’s grateful that you allow him to do the things he does to you. So he likes to take the time to worship you, and show you how much he loves you. And that requires him to be serious. There’s time in the day for jokes and being goofy, but he likes to take this time to be completely lost in the moment with you, nothing else is as important as your two bodies being entwined.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He’s never been one for meticulous grooming. He’s never had to, helmet and all. He doesn’t really have the time. He’s the only one who ever sees his face, so he never cared much. As long as he looked vaguely presentable, who cares right? The same went for elsewhere on his body, he kept it trimmed and fairly neat. But once you came into the picture, he made a bit more of an effort, trying to keep it neat. You were very fond of the trail of hair that went from his stomach to his cock, and he shaved it all once and it caught you off guard. You made sure to tell him to keep it next time.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Since most of the time, you’re facing each other, it’s almost always romantic to an extent. Sure, there’s days where he’s pent-up after a particularly rowdy bounty, and he thrusts into you like there’s no tomorrow, leaving bruises littered across your skin. But mostly, he’s tender and gentle, and worships your body. Since he can’t use his mouth to kiss and nip at your skin, he’ll caress your skin and vocalise how beautiful he finds all the little things about you. On the occasions he blindfolds you, he’ll make sure to spend an obscene amount of time just kissing and licking at all the skin he can reach, whispering praises against your skin as he travels.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He doesn’t so much now that he has you, but before you he would do it at least daily. It helped with the stress of his job, but now that he has you, he has something better to wrap around his length. Every now and then, though, perhaps if you’ve been injured and he doesn’t want to risk hurting you further, he’ll take himself off to the refresher and relieve himself. You almost always find him, and tell him you have other places he can put it without pulling your stitches, before reaching your own hand around or sinking to your knees.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Watching you pilot the Crest has always been a big turn-on for him. Something about seeing you in the pilot’s seat, taking control of his ship gets him all hot and bothered. Especially watching you land the ship, the sheer concentration on your face, and looking at your smug smile when everything goes without a hitch. He loves it. Seeing you take control of a situation like that, it’s undeniably hot to Din.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

He loves anywhere where you’re game to do it, you’ve probably done it in about 95% of the Crest, but his personal favourite is the pilot seat of the Crest. There’s something so fantastic about him piloting the ship, and you climbing up to the cockpit and settling yourself in his lap, sinking down onto his length. Sometimes he’ll turn you around and settle you back on his cock while you stare out the front of the ship, and he’ll just keep you there, neither of you moving, seeing who can resist it the longest. But he’ll fuck you just about anywhere if given the opportunity. 

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Pretty much anything you do will get him going, from something as little as you winking at him or batting your eyelashes. But what really gets him going is watching you fight. You can really hold your own, and seeing you climb up onto a guys shoulder and use your weight to drop him, and keep him pinned using your legs… Well, it really does things to Din. Seeing you use his weapons too. There’s just something so attractive about you using his blaster to effortlessly shoot at whoever it may be pursuing you that day. You using the Amban rifle is his favourite thing though. Your poise as you fire it and reload it with minimal effort. It’s dangerous really, because he’ll stop and stare at you, and then get distracted, and almost get shot himself. But even that isn’t so bad, because you’ll patch him up and take care of him, and he might get a handjob from you while you lazily kiss and suck at his neck.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He’s not a fan of anything that’ll hurt you. He won’t choke you, or use any weaponry on you. He wants sex to be exciting and wants to experiment with new things, sure, but he never wants to do anything that would put you in danger. You deal with enough shit in daily live travelling around with him, he wants you to be safe in his hands when it’s just the two of you. As much as he loves the way you look with the little bruises and marks littered across your skin, he’ll inspect every one to make sure he didn’t hurt you too badly. You constantly remind him that you love the marks he leaves, because you look at them later on and remember what a great time you had. He still feels bad though, but evidently not too bad, or he’d have stopped by now.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Whenever he blindfolds you, he’ll always go down on you. He loves it. You don’t complain, either. He’s pretty skilled, and you’re honoured to be the only one to have ever experienced it. Honoured that he trusts you enough to take his helmet off and have only the small piece of fabric keeping him from breaking the Creed. But Din can’t deny how much he loves your blowjobs. He’d never really seen the appeal of them before, but once he got one from you, he understood. The thing he didn’t get was what appeal it had for you. You simply said you like seeing him come undone, and he couldn’t argue with that. He feels the same about going down on you.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Most times it’s more sensual and soft, because he just wants to show you how much he loves you, and he wants to make the most of the time he gets to spend with you on the Crest before he has to go out for a bounty again. But if he’s in a mood, prepare to be bent over something in the ship and absolutely railed.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Din is not opposed to a quickie, but he prefers a longer session. If you’ve been teasing him in a cantina or somewhere else in public, however, he’ll take no issue dragging you into a back-alley and fucking you against the wall where anybody could walk past and see what was going on. Quickies are usually something that occur when you’re not on the Crest. It’s usually a case of ‘we need relief now but this isn’t really the place for it, so we’ll have to be quick’. But mostly, Din prefers to take his time with you, build up to it first.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Din isn’t a big one for risks in the bedroom. He has to deal with enough risk out and about during his day, he’d like to just relax when he gets some time alone with you. As mentioned earlier, he won’t do anything he thinks could lead to you getting hurt. He’s pretty happy to just have generic missionary sex every time, he doesn’t really care as long as he’s with you, but he’s willing to try pretty much anything you ask for, as long as it doesn’t put you in danger.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

If it’s been a particularly rough day, he can only really go for one round, but he can last a surprisingly long time, making you come several times before he finally lets himself go. Most days, he can at least go for a second round after a little cooling off break, and sometimes even a third round in the shower when you’re cleaning yourselves up. For the shower sex, Din either kills all the lights in the ship, or makes you wear the blindfold, but you don’t complain because being pressed between the cold shower wall and his hot body is one of your favourite feelings.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

No. We all know Din’s distaste for droids. This extends to sex toys. You don’t own any anyway, but he’s against the idea. He figures he can do anything you need or want him to, all you have to do is ask, and he’ll oblige. You have no need for any toys while he’s around.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

While meeting with Karga, he’ll often keep a hand on your thigh, stroking you there, inching higher and higher until he reaches your core, lightly pressing his gloved fingers against the material there, forcing you to concentrate deeply on whatever Karga is telling you without giving up what was happening under the table. You try to move his hand away, but he’s a lot stronger than you and you’d have to make a very large, obvious movement to get him to stop, and you never want to draw attention to anything so you just sit there and try your best to ignore it. Then when you’re back on the Crest, and he’s trying to get you into bed, you give him a taste of his own medicine by not letting him touch you. Eventually you always cave though, because you’re aching for him.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

When he has the helmet on, you sometimes miss his quieter sighs and grunts, but the ones that the modulator does catch are incredibly hot. His voice is attractive enough on it’s own, and you could probably get off just from him speaking praises against your skin, but there’s something about the modulator than enhances how rich and gruff his voice is. You’ll always try hard to pull those noises from him, because they turn you on so much. He’s especially loud when you go down on him, it’s almost like he loses any restraint he may have as soon as you sink to your knees. The soft whines that escape his throat are like music to your ears, and all the little groans and grunts go straight to your core.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Once, he told you to put the blindfold on, and he adjusted the settings in his helmet to make the visor completely opaque before telling you to keep your eyes closed. He slowly slipped the blindfold from your eyes and placed the helmet over your head. When he looked down at your body, bare except for the helmet, he swore he almost came just from the sight. Seeing you wear the helm of his people while being so vulnerable to him… boy did it release some primal urge, and he fucked you relentlessly that night. You were happy to lie back and let him do whatever he wanted to you. The helmet wasn’t the comfiest thing in the world, but you weren’t going to complain about an hour in it when he’d spent a lifetime in it. You were just honoured he trusted you.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He’s not intimidatingly big, but certainly big enough to reach places in you nobody ever has before. He always manages to hit such a perfect spot inside you that has you seeing stars. He has an impressive girth too. It’s always such a perfect stretch when he first pushes himself into you, and after he really fucks you good, it genuinely hurts when you walk for a day or two.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He’s pretty much always ready to fuck you. It doesn’t take much to get him going, and whenever you’re needy and you approach him in the cockpit or in your bed, or anywhere really, it won’t take long for him to catch up and give you what you want. He can last a long time too, which shocked you. He’s always mentioning he’s getting older and things aren’t working like they used to, but you can definitely confirm his dick is not one of the things losing its ability.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Din isn’t much of a sleeper, but he’ll always get a decent sleep after a few rounds with you. When you’re flush against him, he can truly relax, and sometimes it’s enough to put him to sleep, even if it’s only for an hour or two - even that is more sleep than he usually gets. You honestly don’t understand how he’s still conscious most of the day. As tired as you are in the moment, you always try your best to last for as many rounds as possible, knowing Din will get a good sleep afterwards. When he does manage to sleep through the entire night, you love hearing his rough voice in the morning, when it’s laced with sleep.

[zhanxixis]

Can someone explain me what was the situation with jian yi family , brother qiu and he cheng I already forgot all the story and I’m so lost T_T

first, I’d like to apologize for how late I am in answering this.. I know this ask has been sitting in my inbox since the last 19 days update but I wanted to be able to answer as thoroughly as I possibly could, plus I had to find the time. also, you forgot all of the storyline regarding jian yi’s family situation? *chokes*~ I mean I’ll take that as an exaggeration but my heart couldn’t live with it if you were serious, it would just keep me awake at night lol. okay, I’m going to try and answer this as shortly as I possibly can although I feel like this answer will still end up being quite a long one since, as I said earlier, I’m going to try to be as thorough as possible. (>﹏

I will provide a shortened version in bullet points at the bottom if that is preferable so you can just skip ahead if you want. 

when jian yi was just a baby, he was abandoned by his father which is shown in chapter 105. in the panels, shown in chapter 105, there are a few ways in which old xian employs elements of a somber mood and a sense of dark tension in the scene of jian yi’s father leaving him and his mother; the lack of a background, black speech bubbles that are vacant, the almost hyper focused imagery on the blood that covers jian yi’s father, ms. jian being shown tightly clutching a baby jian yi while visibly upset/crying — it gives an empty, dark, strained atmosphere while juxtaposed with a somber, almost loving mood from mr. jian’s last moments with his son and wife as mr. jian is actually shown to be tender with them - he clasps ms. jian’s face, gives her a kiss, and gently strokes his son’s head lovingly. the sense of dark tension seems to help assist readers in inferring that jian yi’s mother and father were possibly arguing before he left, most likely arguing about him leaving, and that he left in the middle of something dangerous happening in their lives given him being covered in blood; while the somber, semi-loving mood hints at the notion that it’s possible he didn’t really want to leave them and it was a tough decision for him to make. **also, this is one of two times old xian actually reveals some parts of what jian yi’s father looks like: tall, lean, medium grey/ash blonde hair, with a little bit of a stubble on his chin. the second time we see him is in chapter 136, where jian yi has a dream of his father pushing him and causing him to fall off this sort of hill/cliff, which may suggest that jian yi feels a bit of fear towards his father.

as jian yi grew older, his mother wasn’t around very often; jian yi never got to see her involved in his life very much so he was constantly being taken care of by a nanny. from chapter 193, it appears one of the reasons she wasn’t around very often was because of work (her occupation is unknown). as a result of neither his parents really being in his life, jian yi begins to feel very lonely, unloved, and gains abandonment issues. (panels below from chapters 97, 193)

and the feeling of being lonely, unloved, and having issues with abandonment is something he still feels and deals with currently even as he is older (below are panels from chapter 192 & 235 for example, although there are countless other times it is shown throughout the story).

now we enter the middle school days: chapter 167 is where we first see he cheng and qiu’s character, along with several other underlings, try and kidnap jian yi. they’ve come to take jian yi without discussing any reasons why and without giving any prior warning to ms. jian nor asking for her permission; they simply follow the order they’ve received from their boss to take him. it is clear he cheng is speaking to his boss as he is displayed speaking in a respectful, formal tone with common phrases one would say to their leader in an organized gang such as “we’ve already found him” and “understood”. it is then revealed in chapter 168 that their boss is jian yi’s father when he cheng hands ms. jian the phone and the phone’s caller i.d. says “mr. jian” (so yes jian yi’s father is the one who ordered them to take jian yi, again the reasoning still being unclear at this point in the storyline - it will become more clear later). jian yi’s mother is shown angry, yet composed and fearless in front of massive men clearly from an organized gang — this could be because she immediately knew that it was mr. jian’s people / was able to differentiate that they are not from a different mafia group, having had some experience in seeing some of mr. jian’s mafia lifestyle firsthand while they were together before he left; whereas a natural reaction from a normal person, ‘normal’ as in someone unaware of who this gang was or who has not been submersed in that particular lifestyle, would be to react more shocked, hysterical, and scared of who these people might be. she is very curt and direct with them, immediately ordering he cheng to hand over the phone and he cheng listens to her without resistance. 

from the conversation jian yi’s mother has on the phone with mr. jian, it is implied that jian yi’s mother and father have a estranged and complicated relationship. it is shown in chapter 168, that they are in disagreement with each other when it concerns jian yi from the time he cheng and qiu tried to take jian yi the first time. ms. jian tells mr. jian on the phone to order his underlings to leave, and she also reminds him of a conversation they once had in the past saying “I hope you still remember the promise you once made. no matter the reason, you will not..” but then it gets cut off. however, it seems to be implied that jian yi’s father had made some sort of promise in the past to leave jian yi alone when it comes to his mafia business; so while jian yi’s mother seems to want jian yi to stay as far away as possible from anything to do with the mafia, jian yi’s father has a specific reason (unknown at this point) he is involving him with it — essentially breaking that promise. 

after the conversation jian yi’s father and mother have on the phone, things between them seemed to be put to cease fire and the underlings let jian yi go and leave. however, only a few days later jian yi is taken for the first time (for real this time) by an older unnamed man in chapter 192. while held hostage, jian yi speculates reasons as to why this man captured him and keeps him as a prisoner; however, when jian yi brings up the topic of money, the older man quickly shuts that possibility down saying he wasn’t doing it for money, which only just terrifies jian yi into thinking he is after something worse. while jian yi thinks of other possible intentions this man may have for kidnapping him, he comes to the conclusion that one of the reasons could possibly be because the man wants to threaten his mother (and although this is not the reason as he cheng later says “his only motive is to meet sir [jian yi’s father]” in chapter 195). this scene is important in that it shows how jian yi feels towards his mother: that no matter how often jian yi feels lonely and abandoned by her, it hasn’t caused him to hate her full-heartedly or anything like that — in fact the phrase, “I can’t let him succeed”, that crosses jian yi’s mind when he thinks of the older man threatening or harming his mother shows he still loves her and cares for her well being greatly.

there is also another scene which feels important to mention because it reveals a bit more about ms. jian yi’s character and that is a scene in chapter 193: jian yi’s mother thinks back to the time she took jian yi to kindergarten and he asked her to stay but she told him she couldn’t (these panels can be seen near the top of the post where I mention how she is not around often) — when she remembers this, she actually begins crying, which old xian shows to demonstrate her love for jian yi and her feelings of regret for not being there for jian yi enough throughout his life. after this, she gains a look of determination on her face and meets up with he cheng and the rest of mr. jian’s underlings; when she sees them she immediately expresses her upset by the situation and remarks that she doesn’t really give a shit what they do in their line of business as long as it leaves jian yi out of it. she also mentions “I’ve been running for so many years, but I still can’t escapes from events like this” which I feel is pretty direct and doesn’t need much explaining but just in case – she has clearly been involved in dangerous events surrounding the mafia before (most likely when she and mr. jian were together) and tries to avoid that type of conflict as much as possible ever since jian yi came into their life. he cheng lets her know that in response to jian yi’s kidnapping, his father immediately sent out people to go save his son and ‘already reminded’ them to make sure jian yi comes back unharmed.

as said earlier, jian yi’s father sends his underlings to save jian yi, and qiu is the main one who goes out to do the rescue. jian yi manages to find a hole to escape from, qiu finds him and tries to help him leave while they are being shot at. the lack of care the older man gives as he erratically and desperately shoots at them to prevent them from getting away shows this man has no qualms regarding jian yi’s life ~he doesn’t care if he is harmed or killed by any of the bullets being shot off. jian yi and qiu manage to get away and while qiu hands off a weak, faint jian yi to another guard, he orders him to take jian yi to “safety”. jian yi is finally safe and he is reunited with his mother (he was gone for two days), she takes him home and leaves that afternoon “out of town”.

after jian yi’s mother leaves town, she doesn’t come back for quite a number of days which jian yi begins to complain about in chapter 235. within this same chapter is where we first learn qiu’s name when he goes to deliver a bag of lots, like a ridiculously large sum, of money to jian yi. when jian yi calls him ‘big guy’, he becomes annoyed and tells him to call him ‘brother qiu’; do not to be confused with the word ‘brother’ — qiu and jian yi are not related/family, but in chinese culture, referring to someone older as “brother” gives a sense of respect to your elders. qiu tells jian yi his mother won’t be back soon, and answers a short but quick series of rapid fire questions from jian yi without really expanding or giving much explanation to them; he is not his mother’s boyfriend, nor is his boss pursuing his mother, and the money is for him to do as he pleases since his mother will be away for a while — basically its money to take care of himself.

after this chapter, old xian begins hinting some more about qiu (he cheng and the rest of mr. jian’s underlings) being jian yi’s bodyguard as the next day qiu is seen waiting out front of where jian yi lives as if to keep watch over him and make sure he is safe; he also mentions to he cheng that he hates ‘this assignment’ (being that of watching over jian yi) because he finds himself doing other favors for jian yi besides protecting him, such as taking jian yi to school when he is late as it makes him feel like a ‘maid’, which bothers him especially when his only responsibilities are to watch over him, make sure he is safe, and protect him when it is needed. however, he cheng reminds qiu to simply deal with it as ‘the situation has become tense”, the situation likely being one where someone is out looking for jian yi to harm or kill him which is essentially confirmed when qiu reacts quickly by shielding jian yi when he thinks someone is trying to shoot jian yi in his house, says its no longer safe there, and says in chapter 279 that he — as well as the other underlings — are getting paid to protect jian yi because someone is out to hurt him. 

this leads us back to the current chapter, where it has been clear for a while now that someone (unknown to us for now ~it could be the older man from before, could not be etc.) found out that jian yi is mr. jian’s son and now they want to harm jian yi. it is slightly suggestive that it could be to get to (or maybe ‘at’, as in revenge) his father but nothing has been confirmed yet. because of the rising danger surrounding jian yi, he will now be temporarily staying somewhere else that is considered safer for him in the meantime, and his mother will be meeting him there soon. she most likely knows more about what is going on and it is likely the reason for why she was away from home without any contact for so long as well.

eventually, (keep in mind this will happen later on in the story, it hasn’t happened yet and won’t for some time as jian yi is still in middle school) jian yi will disappear on the 2nd day of high school and he will be gone for about 3 years and come back when zhan zheng xi is a freshman in college.

so to shorten it up:

mr. jian is the boss of a mafia group

mr. jian and ms. jian were in disagreements with what to do with jian yi regarding his life/childhood. they’re estranged.

neither jian yi’s father or mother participated much in jian yi’s life. because of this jian yi seems to feel detached (and maybe a little bit of fear based on his dream) from his father who completely abandoned him, and has complicated feelings towards his mother because although she didn’t fully abandon him like his father and he loves and cares for her greatly, he is still frustrated by her lack of presence in his life often and how lonely it has made him.

there is someone, unknown, who is after jian yi and they want to harm and possibly kill him. mr. jian has sent underlings to protect him and they have taken him somewhere else to live (temporarily). 

he cheng and qiu’s connection to jian yi’s family is in no way a personal one but a business one in that they are currently underlings who work for mr. jian’s (jian yi’s father) mafia group and have been ordered to protect jian yi. 

I probably could’ve just shortened it to only those bullet points but I felt in order for you to get the overall idea and understanding of what was happening with his family’s situation and how he cheng and brother qiu are connected to it, I had to expand on who, why, what, etc… I also included stuff like how they feel towards each other as a family ~like how jian yi feels towards his parents / what they feel (or may feel in his father’s case) towards jian yi because I feel like that’s also part of knowing his family’s situation (not just the kidnapping or protecting stuff). hopefully this was a pretty decent refresher. I am sorry if there are any typos.

[sapphirethesexyone]

I finally snapped. It’s obvious to Me from the text messages, inboxes on Facebook and an embarrassing Facebook live video. I’m not sure exactly what’s been going on with Me the last few days but I do know I checked out at some point.

 I’ve had a rough week, but I’d be lying if I didn’t add that I’ve had a really rough month. As I announced multiple times over the last few weeks, not only am I going through a life transition but it’s been a rough month.

 I think I thought that I was fine without a regular therapist and this last episode has made Me realize that just isn’t true. For the last 3 months, I have been out of therapy for the first time since 2009. I don’t think I’m ready to be on My own. In fact, just before I broke down Thursday, My son’s mentor suggested that I seek therapy again.

 I know the people who view My life through My blogs and social media can’t even begin to understand how complicated and LONELY My life is. When you suffer major mental illness, having close friends and confidants isn’t generally easy. Even the most patient person will eventually tire of tiptoeing around you and putting their own feelings aside to think of yours and not “setting you off.”

 I’m at that place now with My only close friend. Reality is, we stopped being CLOSE friends quite some time ago. Around that time, My actual best friend of 15 years, got sick and slipped into a coma. I was devastated. My best friend was not only My friend, but My family and as a minister, was often the person I turned to for advice. He filled a role that had never been filled in My life before. He was like a parent, best friend and confidant.

 Without him, My life has been up and down and in constant turmoil. There was a fan who I had spent a lot of time with, he started to do so much for Me. I started to help him upgrade his life and we got closer. Over time, we spent too much time together, and I tried to end the relationship but he hasn’t wanted to it. It’s non-sexual but we argue like we’re a married couple.

 Within the last 2 weeks he has pushed every button I have. You’d think, being as though he is My only close friend and knows the other things I’m dealing with he’d keep his bullshit to himself but he hasn’t. I told him this Monday that after July I need space. This weekend is the first weekend we haven’t spent together in months and I NEEDED the peace.

 The school year just ended, My son failed every single class and ends the year with over 70 missing days. My son spent this school year in therapy, after school programs, a mentoring program and for 6 weeks, attended mental health therapy 3 hours a day, 5 days a week. Thursday, before I had My breakdown, I enrolled him in a 3-month drug monitoring and treatment program for youth.

 My son stays at My parents’ house 95% of the time, which wouldn’t bother Me in the least bit if My parents and I can get to a point where we can be on the same page about My son. My step mother hasn’t liked Me since I was a child and as much as she says she loves My son, she can’t hide her disdain for Me enough to help Me raise My son without a bunch of bullshit.

 I can admit there was a time when I may have not been the best parent, that was OVER 8 years ago, when I was in the thick of My illness. At a point, My mental illness was out of control. For the last near 8 years, I have been extremely lucid, mentally balanced and able to run My day to day life. On top of that, I have been 100% there for My son. Not only do I financially support My son, but I am the one who goes to every school  appointment, every therapist appointment, every program My son is in, I have set it up and attended every meeting.

 My father and stepmother want to pretend there is nothing wrong with My son, that there isn’t a history of mental illness in the family. Guess what, I’m mentally ill, My mom was and I’m damn near sure  My grandmother wasn’t right. My son claims to hear voices, be angry and he cuts himself for attention. There’s a hell of a lot more but you can’t look at these things and pretend there’s nothing wrong.

 I can’t even get that bitch of a step mom of Mine to answer the fucking phone when people are trying to call and make sure My son has all the resources he needs. Earlier this week, we hit a standstill that I’m not sure we will ever recover from.

 By the end of the conversation, I knew that before the summer is over I need to remove My son from their home. It’s easier than it seems and I think they forget. I have custody of My son, I pay for My son to stay there and I am his legal guardian and representative. It’s as simple as me saying pack your shit, you coming home and if anyone disagrees, pulling up with a police escort. They can’t hold My son hostage.

 She knows I plan to send My son to job corps, though I did suggest one local school. She asked Me to consider another local school knowing damn well that her son-in-law, who is the principal at the school, slept with her daughter before her daughter turned 18. She knows damn well that is called statutory rape and it’s even further a crime because at the time he held a position of power over her.

 I can’t send My son to a school with a child predator as the principal, even if he is family. Yes, I know he won’t harm My son, but I know his integrity level is so low that he won’t be a beneficial addition to My son educational life. If he were, as an uncle he would have stepped in to help with homework, school work modifying behavior etc. but he has not. In fact, My step brother, who is older than Me, was one of My brother in law’s students. The step brother who has never had a job outside of working for a mechanic, who has never lived anywhere but at home and with whatever woman will have him. He destroys the already stable lives of each woman he comes in contact with, an then moves her and her family back in to My parents’ home.

 Thursday, I had originally planned to have a rest day. I had invited a girl who lives around the corner from Me to hang out.  At 7:20 p.m. on Wednesday night, My son’s mentor called and asked Me to meet him Thursday to take My son to the drug treatment program. I just had the address and not necessarily where it was so google maps told Me the most ridiculous way to get there. I caught 2 trains and 2 buses Thursday to get to where they wanted me to meet.

 My son this ungrateful little asshole, has the audacity to come in My presence and not speak after he has made me lay into him Monday for not calling Me ack after I had been trying to reach him for days. I did not raise a disrespectful child and the level of disrespect that he has recently displayed causes Me to want to hit him in the mouth.

 There is no way My stepmom can pretend that he is not mimicking what he thinks he sees her doing, ignoring My calls and wishes for My child. I signed him up to be piss tested weekly fo the next three months and had a convo with his mentor while My son was doing an assessment.  I told the mentor how I feel about the lack of communication and respect involving My parents and child and that he IS coming out. Job corps is the only option I see as feasible for Me not worrying about the state of My child from day to day.

 At least at job cops he has access to programs and education that can get him somewhere in life. The bonus is not having to fight the people at Job Corps about what’s best for My own damn child. Even if he wants to continue his disrespect and all the bullshit he got going on, as least he’d be off the city streets.

 Last week there were over 20 shooting in Baltimore, last week, 4 young Black kids assaulted someone downtown. Kids are killing each other every day. The city is out of control. We have had more murders this year than Chicago. I can actually call My step mom and she tell Me that My son is out of the house but she doesn’t know where he is. My son is a minor, even if he lies about his destination, you don’t let Me damn child out the house without questioning where the fuck he is going.

 We are truly at a place that I can’t feel safe and secure with My son in My parent’s care. I’d rather send him out in the wood with strangers. My last verbal conversation with My step mother ended with her cussing Me, dropping F Bombs and she has not apologized yet. This morning I resent a message that My alter must have sent her yesterday. The message stated I would be picking My son up for a week the first week of July .

 She ignored it. I found it in texts today and sent it back to her again with a message that I would send it every day until she replied. She did. The fact that we have to play these kinds of games is the deciding factor that he will be out of there this summer. His mentor doesn’t think it’s a great idea because Of My son’s anxiety. My son is like Me though, he adapts well, My stepmother is the one putting this negativity in him.

 Right now, for the first time in My son’s life, I am doing something that I truly feel is not in My son’s best interest. It’s out of My character to not do My best by him. For the last two years, My son has been attending a summer writing and performance program. I love it for him and was excited to sign him up again. I and one of the women from his after school program, went through the full process of getting son set up in the program. The acceptance letter and information of start date always come to the house.

 My son should be starting the program soon but I haven’t heard one word about it. In fact, I saw the women who runs the program saying that there are still open slots for the program. I didn’t ask was My son secured in the program. I scrolled past her post as if I didn’t have a care in the world. When My son’s mentor asked Me about his summer program, I told him I wasn’t following up. If My stepmom wants to run plays around Me, then she needs to handle that shit too.

 She never does, she cooks cleans and washes his clothes but can’t be bothered to worry about his education, his therapy, or any doctor appointment outside of his general shit. Even when My son was rushed to mental ward in ambulance, she wasn’t there. The week of Mother’s day this year, My son  said that I’ve never been a mom before and he doesn’t need one now. Normally I’d ignore him and go above and beyond like usual.

 Not this time. I am not taking one step towards his summer program. His phone is not working. I refuse to make one call to fix it. He is broke, and his father just started paying child support. I will not put a penny in his pocket. I will financially support him as always, these next few months until I yank him out.

 I truly think and hope I’m wrong, that the reason that My step mom is fighting him going to job corps, has more to do with the money that won’t be coming in monthly, than My son being away from her. I mean hell, it’s job corps, not prison. He even gets to come home on weekends. When he comes home on weekends, it will be here to My home, not theirs.

 Thursday, when I left the youth drug treatment center, My plan was to call the Job corps office and schedule a meeting for the first or second weekend of July. Losing My mind Thursday kept Me from following up and making that call. I won’t mention My plans to the mentor or stepmom again. I have been courteous enough to include My parents in My decisions for my son though, they have no legal rights to know. That’s dead. The day I pick him up for job corps will be just like when I show up the first week of July.

 I will simply tell him to pack a bag for a week or two, and take him. After he is securely out at job corps, I will call them and tell them. Then arrange to pick up more of his clothes and personal items.

 I’m mentally, physically and emotionally drained. I am fighting life from every angle and am extremely tired. Every day is a battle. I keep trying to do so much. I really need a break. I think I’m going to take one around My birthday. I have this book to release on the 31st of next month. I wish I could relax though. After the book release, I would love to take a break. I only have one speaking gig lined up for August and it’s near the end.

 I think what’s in My best interest is to push through the rest of this month and July. To work really hard and start editing the book right away, as of now, there are only 2 essays still due in. I can edit and have the book finish early July. I can put it online early for pre-order and then put the ebook on amazon for preorder. By July 31st I can just hit the buttons to switch it over to on sale release pre done promo shit and then after 2 days of heavy promo, put most of it on auto pilot via hoostuite. I can run facebook and Instagram ads to sell while I relax.

 I think that’s what I’ll do. I will spend the rest of this month finishing book up instead of waiting until July. I will do all promo shit and set it up to release all July and into first week of August. Then take a break and not resurface until a week before My speaking engagement to do promotions on it. Just saying that alone to Myself, makes Me feel better.

 I can’t keep going like a robot, I’ve been on autopilot for so long it seems. The July 31st book release, will be the 3rd book I’ve released since April. Three books in four months, while handling other projects would be too much for any one. Doing all of this while running to meeting after meeting for your out of control child, fighting with your one friend, who is also your biggest contributor AND being legally crazy, can make you homicidal.

 I am legally disabled because the law recognizes that all of this is too much for Me to be doing. The fact that I am overworking Myself like this is unacceptable. Life and My schedule has to change, It’s time to get back to My daily yoga, going back to the gym, enjoying nature and writing. I have been working so much I haven’t been writing. I haven’t written anything for Myself, I have barely even written anything for My blogs.

 I haven’t had any “Me time” but I’m going to take it. I have felt disrespected by everyone around me lately, I’m changing My circle. I am in a place I can’t deal with another 18 months of My son in My parent’s home until he’s legal. I’m pulling him out. I am taking full control of My life, the people in it and the situations that are affecting Me.

 I refuse to keep putting My feelings aside, nor My mental health in the attempt to make others happy. I won’t even do it under the guise of what’s best for My son any more. My son is damn near grown. Soon, he will be legal and on his own, then he and his grandmother can do whatever they want.

 For the first time in My life, I’m going to do whatever feels best for Me, even if that means sending my son away. I wish he had a real father I could send him to, but I can’t send him to that loser. Job corps is better than where he is now, they’ll allow him to spend another 4 years in high school if he wants.

 My God, I must need a therapist. 3,000 words just poured out of Me before I felt relief. I just need to change My whole life. It’s nothing wrong with that, I do it every August for My birthday. Luckily for Me, this year I’m in a better position than ever and My son will be 18 in 18 months I am damn near free. I can’t wait to get free, when he’s 18 I’m finally going to have what I’ve dreamed of so long, My freedom from this place.

 I’m getting the fuck out of Baltimore and away from  all the crazy ass people.