#(s*icide session at work)

[russellius]

SPA, BELGIUM - JULY 28: George Russell of Great Britain and Mercedes celebrates in parc ferme during the F1 Grand Prix of Belgium at Circuit de Spa-Francorchamps on July 28, 2024 in Spa, Belgium. Photo by Rudy Carezzevoli.

[life-winners-liveblog]

Okay, I’ll let you pass for now.

But I need to let you know that it is my business to at least understand where you coming from, unless you had better route to let me understand you without telling the story. If you don't, I will need to know what happend there.

(WARNING THIS ASK WILL CONTAIN S*ICIDE DiSCUSSION)

Okay, what have you done after 6 month in this room? Like I said before loneliness can KILLED oneself because human need connections with life, doesn't matter if it's an animal or human. But by the looks of it you had been alone without any life forms, both human and animal. So for you who had died and consume yourself to loneliness with no interaction with others is concerning. Many humans who alive that consume theirself to loneliness always tried to kill themself because for them they had no purpose.

As distrubing as I ask this, do you harm yourself or tried to killed your self?

-Molly😶‍🌫️(Therapy in sessions)

LimL!Jimmy: We-well he said Mumbo visits sometimes-

LL!Martyn: I have.

LimL!Jimmy: ...what?

LL!Martyn: More then once. As you can see, it didn't work out how I wanted.

LimL!Jimmy: Martyn-

LL!Martyn: We can't die more but I found that bloodloss is a great way to get lightheaded. Sure it fixes itself after a while but it's a good way to not think about your problems.

LimL!Jimmy: ... Martyn? How many times did y-

LL!Martyn: Next question whisper.

[beast-of-bucharest]

Masterpost

-> Canon Timeline <- »»————————————⍟————————————«« @yourtastefulcannibal

| Relationship : Complicated Lovers | CANON

Hannibal is the first person who's made Nigel have a 'gay panic' and made him back track and realize he likes men as well as women, Hannibal is the first man Nigel has EVER been attracted to besides once when he was a boy reading a magazine about cars and seeing someone, Hannibal is Nigel's psychiatrist, they have a semi rocky relationship (From Nigel's side) because Nigel tends to use a 'push and pull tactic' from his bpd, constantly withdrawing because he is scared of opening up, often missing sessions because he can't stomach seeing Hannibal, then popping back up - however he has gotten better at this and does this less frequently; Nigel sometimes will drive to Hannibal's house, park outside and watch the door because he is worried, other times he shows up wounded with cuts or bruises on him, one time even a broken bone from getting into a fight, other times it's for dinner or a meal when he skips them, as he HEAVILY likes Hannibal's cooking and will frequently ask for seconds or to take home some; Nigel obeys Hannibal's rules in his house and office and wont smoke near the buildings or inside, and will get into altercations with people if they don't listen to said rules.

»»————————————⍟————————————««

@adam-raki

| Relationship : Complicated Friends | CANON

Nigel think's Adam is weird - and quirky, but knows Adam has autism and has tried to subtly ask Adam questions about said autism, example : 'Whats the best thing to do when someone with Autism is overstimulated' so he can learn how to help Adam, he does care about him, and tries to research Autism in his spare time, Nigel recently has a rocky relationship with Adam, he knew Adam before Adam and Duncan got together, but is now stressed about saying the wrong thing, or Adam taking something he said the wrong way and telling Duncan. Nigel would rather explode and combust then have Duncan mad at him like that, he tries to engage in conversation with Adam but feels awkward a lot of the time as he doesn't think they have much in common aside from Duncan, Nigel makes a note of anything Adam says related to Autism or his interests, and puts it into his notes app - That way he is making a list of movies, books, or etc for them to watch and get into - to at LEAST have something to talk about.

»»————————————⍟————————————«« @the-black-kaiser | Relationship : Close Best friends | CANON Duncan knows A LOT about Nigel, his line of work, Gabi, he knows Nigel was in a coma after the aftermath of his S*icide, Nigel remembers vividly and can recall Duncan coming to his room and talking to him regularly, they have a song they use to play - and Nigel remembers Duncan playing it in the hotel room - Tracy Chapman Fast Car. When Duncan would go to Nigel's hospital room when Nigel was in a coma; He would read to him or just chatter about his day, and Duncan thinks Nigel doesn't remember, but Nigel remembers the entire chats, and when he is stressed repeats what Duncan said - in his head to remind himself it's okay, and this isn't' forever, and that he can't give up. Nigel has known Duncan for 5 years, since he was 30, around the same time Gabi left Nigel (Completely). Nigel often goes to Duncan for advice since Duncan is older than him by 14 years, but will also be a shoulder to lean on for Duncan, Nigel often asks Duncan if things are normal, everyday things, sometimes about household equipment making a noise Nigel couldn't recognize - or if certain emotions were normal.

»»————————————⍟————————————«« -> Adding more as I go along, I don't know if I will add doubles as I don't know how that would work but I am open to ideas <-

[lokislittlesigyn]

Personal post: mini edition. Might write a longer one later.

Tw for therapy, mental health, vague self h*rm/s*icide mention, not much else

Th…. Therapy session??? Was fine???? It was just talking and explaining things and being told I seemed “peaceful” today

I had to ask therapist after all “hey so… I didn��t have a good mental health time last week or the week before, is it okay to be okay today???” Because I wasn’t sure if it was somehow… dishonest? Or wasting time? To not bring that up?

i mean granted there’s never a convenient time to mention the fact you want to hurt yourself Or Worse and quite frankly, I don’t want to be… admitted….. that’s a terrifying thought imo…..

But she assured me it was fine to have good days, and having good days is sort of the goal of counseling?

It’s weird that today has gone so well. Like…. I’m really happy. I had a slight afternoon slump but still was able to work, nothing went especially wrong, I wasn’t exhausted this morning, I got work done, I had a wonderful lunch…. Today is really good and I’m grateful for it.

[teenage-mutant-ninja-freak]

fuck it, I am gonna rant about my old therapist- why you should always shop around and find the *right* therapist for you

so, let’s set the scene: I’m 14, I’m s*lf h*rming, I have diagnosed depression and anxiety and a couple s*icide attempts under my belt. My previous psychiatric nurse feels like she can no longer deal with me and sends me to this guy that we’ll call Bob (which leaves me with some abandonment issues but alright)

1st shitty thing Bob does: he makes me sit away from the only exit in the room. Now this doesn’t sound too bad, but considering every other therapy room in this building has at least 3 chairs in various places in the room so *you* can chose where to sit and feel safe in the room, it’s not nice of him to only have 2 chairs and make me sit away from the exit which makes me feel like I can’t leave even if I want to because he is blocking my path. This was the 1st sign of the weird power plays he would do that made me hate him so much.

2nd offence: he was slightly creepy- we were talking about my anxiety, while talking about that I briefly mention that my mum’s a lesbian (I think because I referenced her girlfriend at the time) and instead of talking about my anxiety he questions my sexuality which is none of his business and also creepy considering the conversation was nothing about that 

3rd thing: he never fucking listened. he had to miss one of our sessions which was fine because I had to miss the same day as I was visiting my aunt and uncle. Seems fine, right? Nope, because I didn’t really talk the next session, he blamed it on him missing a session. I told him that wasn’t the case but the next session he said the same thing, and the next session and the next- so on and so forth.

4th thing: power play pt. 2- he would never talk first. he would call my name to bring me into the room, and then we would sit in silence until I spoke first. eventually, because I didn’t like him, I got petty and wouldn’t talk at all which means we would waste 30-40 minutes of a session in utter silence because I was too stubborn to talk and he thought not talking first was some kind of power move.

Now, if none of this seems too bad, it gets worse. Eventually when he (after like 50 minutes of silence) brings up AGAIN that “Is this because I missed that one session?” I just start yelling and swearing at him because he’s pissed me off so much and then leave therapy and never go back to see him. His ego is clearly bruised by little 14 year old me. 

cut to 3 years later, I’m 17 and I’m in collage. A friend of mine who I’ll call M is being treated by Bob and I’m back in therapy as well. I legally changed my name at 16, like my full name and he only knew me by my birth name but would continue to call me by it even after M told him that’s not my name anymore and we even took a photo of me holding up my collage ID card with my new name on it and flipping him off in the picture because screw him. 

Then at 18 I’m diagnosed with BPD, he (for some reason) invites me mother in for a few therapy sessions and tells my fucking mother (despite having not seen me for 4 fucking years) that there’s no way I could have BPD making he invalidate my illness and completely undermining the professional opinion of the psychologist I was working with at the time who diagnosed me.

When I told my psychologist what Bob was saying and he looked pissed as well I felt so vindicated that it wasn’t just in my head that Bob was out to get me even 4 years later, I wasn’t just paranoid, he actually did have a vendetta against me.

Anyways, moral of the story: some people get into therapy to actually help others, some people just like the control they can have over you with that profession so be careful and if a therapist or mental health professional gives you a weird vibe or doesn’t work for you, please, please, please find a new one (if you can).  You should never be not listened to or belittled or make to feel uncomfortable by someone who is supposedly trying to help you nor should your diagnosis be undermined by someone who isn’t even treating you and hasn’t seen you for years.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk (if you’ve even made it this far, well done)

[bpdeadd]

ugh my parents rly piss me off sometimes - they were going off at me about my life n shit n I was getting rly irritated bc just leave me the fuck alone? they don’t get a choice or decision of what I do in my life (and I said that which they got angry about) PLUS doing shit atm is difficult bc of the fucking pandemic n the therapist is still fucking ill so I can’t see them n my dad was like ‘the therapist isn’t going to help anyway, we can help u more then them’ etc n I got rly fucking annoyed about it bc 1. then wtf is the point in me seeing a fucking therapist then??? even when I eventually do see them n continue sessions??? and 2. you have never helped or supported me??? ever????? whenever I do try n talk about anything u invalidate me, call me an attention seeking, tell me i’m lying about my fucking professional diagnosis, give me tips on how to kill myself when I say I'm s*icidal n don’t bother to comfort me n act and say I'm gon be doing it on purpose to piss them off if I do off myself, and that u won’t stop me if I wanted to?? n just have a go at me about how I feel bc how dare I feel that way, and u just don’t fucking listen??? and 3. YOU ARE THE FUCKING REASON WHY I’M LIKE THIS IN THE FIRST DAMN PLACE?

like over the past year I've literally been working on myself to try n use my pd as a way to help myself, n make myself feel better (mostly the sense of self n i’ve picked up a few personality traits that have helped me through alot of shit) n I stopped the negative talk about myself by basically being incredibly conceited and egotistical which fucking worked - I no longer talk negatively about myself, I don’t care about shit anymore as much as I did..  noone has fucking helped me through all this shit?? I'm done everything by my fucking self, how fucking dare u act like u were there for me, and how dare you fucking say to my fucking face that u can help me like what the actual fuck??? I wouldn’t be like this in the first fucking place if u hadn’t neglected and abused me and actually were there and helped/supported me through a lot of other shit that has happened?? not just yourself doing shit to me???

like I need to get out of this house which is annoying bc of the whole situation but I'm due my second dose of that vaccine in possibly may (cuz have to wait I think 12 weeks after my first dose) n then I'll start fucking planning shit on how to get out of here like I'll work on finding a part time job (to ease myself back into work n not overwhelm myself obv) for a few months or so n then a full-time job, save up and then get out bc I cannot fucking deal w them, I'm not working from fucking home either tho bc I need to be out of this house n yh its a fucking risk atm but having the vaccine might make me feel abit safer n might make me safer?? like idk but I can’t be here anymore, but I have nowhere else to go anyway, and its not like I can just get a job n move out immediately - I have no fucking money and I don’t have friends I can just move in w or anything, but I'm not gonna be here for any longer I feel like I'm just losing my fucking mind n the audacity of my parents being like that n what they fucking said - also I over heard my mum basically telling my dad she didn’t want me in the first place anyway (which I already knew bc she said that to me driving me to school once saying she wished I hadn’t been born and wished she had gone through w that abortion bc she never wanted me anyway) so I already know that shit 

like I know I'm not fucking ‘well’ enough to actually fucking just go out n get a job move out n be ‘fine’ like far from it but I feel little bit better then I did a year ago n I don't rly have a choice - I need to get as far away from them as possible - even as an adult they r still trying to control me and my life n driving me absolutely insane 

[mentalillnessmouse]

Hello. I have a question. I was in a very toxic group. One of them (11 at the time) made me believe (12 at the time) that they were commiting s*icide, and that i couldn't stop them. There were also tons of infighting, and i tried to stop it, but, well it didn't work. I have been feeling worse ever since. Can you get some sort of mental illness frim this? (Alsobthe "leader" tried baiting me into staying, it really hurt me too)

I’m so sorry to hear you went through all that! It truly seems like quite the horrible and upsetting situation!

While I can’t diagnose you, it is very possible to suffer from a mental illness from a traumatic event. Please remember that “traumatic” will always be relative, so it’s not wise to compare your past to others’. 

While general internet and book research might give you some idea of what’s going on, a psychiatrist would be the one who would officially diagnose you. On top of that, they would come up with your options as far as treatment (if you decide to go that route), and help you move past your trauma. 

Another thing to note is that even if you don’t have a mental illness, counseling or therapy is never a bad idea, if it’s an option for you. You’d be amazed at how much talking helps, even if it’s just to help you organize your thoughts and feelings. 

Here are some resources that might help you:

General information and self-care tips:

PsychForums Psychology and Mental Health Forums, a great place to ask questions and learn more.

Superbetter is an interactive way to focus on recovery from pretty much anything. It was created by a video game designer when she was recovering from a traumatic brain injury and can be used to help with recovering from various mental or physical health issues.

Psych Central forums and great information.

Help Guide, a site containing articles, help numbers, “tool kits”, and self help.  

Looking for a book about mental illness? Check out our Book List!

Here are some exercises you can do that helps to keep you in the present: grounding techniques, mental grounding exercises, physical grounding exercises, soothing grounding exercises.

This is a guide on how to make a comfort box.

You Feel Like Shit – An Interactive Self Care Guide helps you work through bad episodes and takes you through things that might be wrong

Mental Health Apps

Mental Support Community, a forum to talk about any form of abuse and how it affected you.

Caring for yourself

Coping With Cliques

Finding a therapist:

This is a step by step on getting a therapist.

Psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist or counsellor?.

What should happen in a session.

Can’t afford therapy? No insurance? Need low cost options? Here is a great list of ways to get help when money or insurance is an issue and here an article on how to locate low-cost mental health care in the US and Canada.

7 things to do during your first therapy appointment.

Here is a video demonstrating what a first therapy session may look like made by a mental health professional.

Need to find a therapist by location? Psychologytoday lets you search by city or zip code in Austria, Australia, Belgium, Canada, Denmark, Ireland, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, United Kingdom, and United States.

Self-care

Best of luck! I promise you things will truly get better.

-Mod Aesh