#(remus has pcos basically)
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Here, take some Gymrat!Dukexiety again, ‘cause I got the brain rot.
This is going to be a loose snapshot from the fic I’m writing right now.
(Remus is AFAB and his cycles are fucky and terrible. Virgil isn’t and has been awkwardly trying his best to provide comfort.)
#sanders sides#gymrat au#virgil sanders#remus sanders#dukexiety#pixel spill#(remus has pcos basically)#(that's an octopus warmie he owns)
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My ask is about Oh Shit It’s An Allegory For PCOS
A long while ago I came up with 2 story ideas that were based on the marauders but were also me just finding a way to vent about gender issues (one of them I did put into Ao3), this was the second and likely more developed idea. I just never finished it because I didn’t work on much of a plot more feelings.
The basic idea was: lycanthropy in a femme born character would be a great allegory for this hormonal condition I have called PCOS (or at least my experiences with the condition) Now onto the story, and idk if I’m ever going to go back and add to it (I might) but we’ll see when I have the time for that so I’m going to post all of the story so far.
Magazines, papers, pictures, always constant pictures of these beautiful shaved hairless women that Remus would love to be like but it’s so impossible because of the stupid wolf that never leaves her. And that stupid fucking name, that boys name, but no for whatever reason her parents cursed her with Remus because that was just the best possible choice for them. Definitely wouldn’t make her feel insecure in her femininity for the literal ENTIRETY of her life, especially with the added issue of HAIR EVERYWHERE. As in not just on her legs and thighs, but on her back, on her stomach, on her arms, on her face, on parts of her feet, fucking everywhere and fucking noticable.
Remus looks at her face in the mirror, the hairs on her face, if she had it any darker then people would think she had a beard. There were far too many little black hairs to even try simply plucking them. She had once considered shaving them but then she remembers the razor burn that was once along her arms, years ago, as a child when she first realized that having this hair as a woman was…wrong. When she realized that some of the other girls had begun to shave, it seemed to work out much easier for them. All of puberty seemed to work out much easier for them, no added issues of hair and voice and weight that never seemed to leave no matter what she tries to do. More masculine features seem to be a little bonus feature added onto the lycanthropy, a little buy one get one free, just incredible.
Remus would always be an unattractive woman, she just accepted that, despite how much she hated the body she was in, she accepted it. She knew she would never be desirable, probably the wolf trying to make things easier for her–this way she doesn’t have to worry about partners, instead she can focus on her studies. Plus she never has to worry about someone finding out, so that’s pretty nice. Will she always have insecurities in not looking like the average woman or sounding like the average woman or being normal? Yes, of course, but at least this whole situation means she can have all that alone time that she enjoys. Plus it’s far better to never need to worry about romance and relationships and people, it’s all far too complicated.
It’s not that people didn’t try to talk to Remus, but she allowed herself to walk around like some ghost, or I guess not exactly like a ghost since the ghosts at Hogwarts seem far more sociable. Isolation seemed to come naturally to the girl, or at least it wasn’t too hard to fall into the shadows when everyone focused on that nonsense that the marauders came up with or the beauty that is Mary MacDonald.
(This next part happens later in the story, I still need to write something connecting this with the last part)
Sirius holds her hands and looks down, the hair and scars on her arms, Remus frantically pulls her sleeves down, “I know they’re disgusting but you don’t have to stare.”
“I don’t think it’s disgusting though,” they speak, hand gently pushing up the sleeve that she had just pushed down. Their fingers gently trace along my arm, along the soft hairs, “It’s you, and it’s…pretty.”
Her face shifts, for a mere second she believes them, but then she cannot. This is some hoax, the idea that someone could like her in any way, but especially like that.
“Don’t fucking patronize me,” Remus gets up and starts walking away.
#writing tag game#wolfstar#trans remus lupin#but that won’t happen for a bit in the fic—it is planned though#lycanthropy#lycanthropy as an allegory for gender issues—specifically pcos#wolfstar microfic
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Alongside that height HC post... basically...
Promethean - built like a gd tank. Intimidatingly tall. Appearance is a little off-putting (given his true form as a Frankensteinian abomination.)
iZombie- Lanky build mostly due to health problems before getting turned into a zombie. Terrifyingly and deceptively strong and fast - d/t being a zombie. (If Remus was historically healthier - probably would have a closer to similar build to Roman.)
Begotten - Just naturally ectomorphic build, no matter what he eats, it's just his set point. Very noodle-y too.
Gymrat - Kinda stout/chunky. Approximately apple figure + thicc legs. (A factor in this being the fact the guy has PCOS.)
Random thoughts I've been having - Gymrat!Remus needs to have a chunkier build. :,D
That is all.
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