#(proceeds to daydream about them for 100 million years)

[fruitypie-daydreams]

Person I know irl: -treats me badly-

Me: Whatever. [Character] would never treat me this way.

[ghostsofmemories]

Problems I’ve Been Having With Writing // How I Plan To Fix Them

Before reading this post, consider checking out the Teespring Shop with designs by myself and my friend Alexx, where 100% of the proceeds are donated to the Black Lives Matter organization.

It’s no secret that lately, working on my novel has been a struggle. I used to be able to write entire books with 80k+ words at 14, and now I’m struggling just to hit 10k in a project I’ve been working on for 3 months.

Some of this could be attributed to COVID-19, my crazy school schedule (with thankfully is over now), and my job. However, my main issues are with motivation, self-confidence, and remembering how prose works after over a year of writing only poetry. I did this under a cut because, well, it’s long.

Problem 1 - Motivation, Mental Illness, & Activism

Finding motivation these days is more than just difficult. As someone with chronic illness and also OCD, the urge to do things only when I’m feeling up to them and the desire to have a daily schedule (with writing included) are always at war, and neither of them winning. It’s impossible for me to do the same amount of work every day or week, but also hard to cope with the lack of stability.

On top of that, I’ve been trying using my platforms on social media to promote, donate to, and educate myself on the Black Lives Matter movement. As someone who uses social media (especially Tumblr, with its tagging system) to organize my thoughts on, and hold myself accountable for my writing, it becomes really difficult to manage both activism and writing on my social media - especially when the movements going on are more significant than what I have to say about my WIP. 

The solution to both of these problems, as difficult as they are to manage, is finding balance. For OCD and chronic illness, I’m trying to figure out which parts of the day I’m feeling the most energized and motivated so I can schedule my writing around those chunks of time - which I think fall between 10am and 12pm.

For balancing activism and personal social media stuff, it’s a little more difficult. So far, I’m thinking the best way to deal with it is to link my main contribution to the movement so far (mine and Alexx’s Teespring shop) to all the posts that might lean on the personal/writing side, and continuing to uplift Black voices when they come across my dash, and actively seek them out when I have the energy to do so.

By no means will these completely solve the problems, but hopefully they’ll help me find time and energy to write when I can.

Problem 2 - Self-Confidence

Every writer has issues with not believing in themselves from time to time, but lately mine have become overwhelming. This could have something to do with the fact that I can hardly get words down in the first place. My mind has been very stubborn in allowing me to come up with words that flow in a narrative way, and I usually spend a lot longer on one or two sentences than I’d like to. 

Similar with that issue, almost all of the writing I read is by, well, adults. Many of the writers I follow on Tumblr are also adults. I’m a month from seventeen, but I’ve always been told that I act or present as a lot older, so I guess I always expected my fiction writing would be as aged and confident as posts like this, my essays for school, and the research I put together for my own purposes. While my writing quality might read as a little older or more skilled than a sixteen year old, it still feels like it’s lacking in quality and like I haven’t progressed at all since my last novel (which directly ties into the next point, but I’ll get there in a minute).

The only way to get over this issue is to write and not stop because I think it’s bad. I know that. It’s easier said than done, of course, but I think that with time and a lot of forcing myself through is going to help. 

Problem 3 - The Super Long Break I Took/Poetry

The last time I finished a novel was in December of 2018, so I’ve taken a break that lasted well over a year. I was still writing during this time, but it was pretty much all poetry, besides a few attempts that never got past a few pages and a WIP intro post (sorry about that, everyone). 

Basically, I’ve forgotten how to write prose and storylines. That can be re-learned, though, which is why I’m sticking to OITW even though I’m beginning to realize I don’t love writing fantasy as much as I used to (I will still very gladly read it, though).

There’s another problem that came with that one, though, which sort of ties into my issues with confidence in my writing:

Poetry comes easily to me. I hear some novelists talking about their short ventures into poetry and how they would spend forever on a poem and how difficult it was, but that’s not what poetry is like for me. I grew up with my mom, my aunt, and for a short time my great grandma who were all poets. I was always exposed to poetry and felt a deep connection to it, which makes it simple (most of the time) to write.

Plus, due to the internet and me being me, I was exposed to the art of slam poetry when I was 13 (it’s something I daydream about, but my insecurities surrounding my stammer kind of stop me there. Plus I live in the middle of nowhere). Poetry is everything to me.

So you can imagine it’s a little frustrating that I can bust out a contest-winning poem in three minutes but struggle to write 200 words a week when I’ve been writing novels longer. This has honestly been one of the hardest parts of writing OITW - it’s harder than I expected it to be. The words don’t flow like they used to.

Combating this issue, while it’s taken a blow to my confidence, has actually been a little easier than I thought. I have to make myself write, of course, that one’s kind of obvious. But the one that I missed for so long was reading.

I’ve been reading almost nothing for the past year, minus a book I got for Christmas that, surprise surprise, got me inspired to write again. My best friend talked me into reading Carry On by Rainbow Rowell and not only is it awesome, I read the 500+ page book in under 48 hours. I can’t remember the last time I read a book that quick.

I’ve also been slowly making my way through A History Of Wolves by Emily Fridlund, but I think I need to re-start it because when I first started reading it, I was working a full time job, doing 5 classes for school, and struggling with my physical health (more than I usually am).

Reading isn’t going to make my prose read like water or anything, and neither are any of these other “solutions”. However, despite being a lot more easily said than done, I feel like they’re going to help. And let’s be real, I need all the help I can get.

Want to check out that shop but don’t want to scroll for a million years to get to it? Here it is again! We’ve raised over $100 for BLM and plan to continue selling these designs for donation indefinitely, unless we specifically take them down (though I can’t think of any reason we’d do that).

[windchimchim-blog]

100 reasons to love kang younghyun

i was inspired by this really good hanbin post i read.

(lot of win, man in a movie, pocket live and fancam references)

*with the widest grin on my face, i will proceed to type this.*

1. His love and appreciation for each member’s talent and genuine appreciation for them, especially on radio shows(hongkira)

2. His unfailing ability to describe loneliness and solitude perfectly with his lyrics.

3. That one pre-debut cover of gd’s butterfly

4. his dimples

5. “NOT Brian. Who is BRIAN?!”

6. grey hair, i’ll say no more

7. “MURUGESO BABAY!”

8. That one radio-cam of him jamming to Baek-ah-yeon’s song. with her. in the studio. 

9. “BOOM!!”

10. Him getting all flustered on ASC when Dreamcatcher sang im serious(”my favourite group”)

11. “She called me to her hotel room”

12. “Yess, good morningg”

13. every single time younghyun has ever rapped hunt while treating a HEAD BAND as if it were a BLINDFOLD.

14. his dimples.

15. “wh-wh-whAt is in your bAg?”

16. him imitating dowoon on a vlive while watching a jaesix vlog

17. while we’re on dowoon, his genuine adoration for the maknae like you can SEE it in his eyes it’s beautiful

18. that one fanmeet photo of him in the harry potter merch really buttered my beer

19. The broccoli hair yes in this house, we apprec8 that

20. while we’re on that,the HEYJUDE COVER.

21. His ability to take on a million ranges vocally, take incredible falsettos, and also sing from the gut fascinates me

22. jaehyungparkian.

23. “i’ll try harder to be like young k”

24. “i wish i nEver knEW you bABy”(the english rap it ended me.)

25. “knock you with my punchlines” WIN era younghyun, best younghyun

26. “TORONNO, KANADA”

27. that one fantaken photo of him with the sipper and multi-coloured hair and a denim jacket and a guitar on his back.

28. the be lazy pocket live but hold up, the behind the scenes of that where he’s sweating(ah the struggle to be sexy)

29. the “what can i do” pocket live. i think about that a lot.

30. everytime he’s ever done the nose scrunch.

31. that one gif of him rolling up his sleeves to reveal !!! his biceps !!! boi!!!

32. Blood rap translation. bye

33. mathletes dance compilation.

34. him dancing to gashina and literally  pelvic thrusting in everyone’s faces

35. oh oh that fancam of him dancing to “all that i have” and doing that back thing. you know what im talking about 

36. “JOUUA”

37. BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAMBAMBAMBAM. (what can i do live bass vocals by one and only kang younghyun!!)

38. wooyoung exposing drunk k “why do you fucking do this to me, hyung” i love him

39. “why am i alone?” every time i hear him sing that line, i get chills. pure art.

40. “yg get an attitude”(he dropped it like it’s hot)

41. youngfeel.

42. while we’re on youngfeel, him replying to a tumblr ask saying “love wonpil” is a goal for 2018.

43. hungry k(”best part of songwriting is breakfast, lunch and dinner”)

44. that one video of jae and young k using the jyp card and young k squealing-”it’s not our money, it’s not our money eehehe!!!!!!!”

45. his rap in congratulations. i c o n i c

46. him mouthing “sarangeul haetdaa” when hongki played love scenario. im an ikonic and  a my day and this was just the most satisfying thing ever

47. every. single. part  he has in man in a movie. it’s all us young k stans ever think about.

48. his relationship with terry. terry we love you.

49. pre-debut video of young k falling off the stage while performing. rip his ego

50. his rings. p l e a s i n g 

51. that one baby pink shirt he wore on hongkira while promoting I loved you

52. a fancam of him doing the whole “yess, good morning” thing, and the mic falls down

53. the video of day6 performing man in a movie on nct’s night radio and johnny looking at young k in complete and utter amazement.  same, johnny, same.

54. him describing the percentage of alcohol in their drink on a rooftop live and the giggling about it and yelling “we gon’ get craaazyy”

55. HIS COVER OF BAD DAY. NOBODY DID IT BETTER.

56. the arirang avatar thing where he wore a hanbok and the headgear too. ded.

57. his appreciation for good music. he’s really out there listening to neon trees, arctic monkeys, lauv and daniel powter

58. the beginning of a day6 moments video where  he’s singing i like you but effortlessly and it should be funny but yet again, im just very impressed none of those notes are falsettos

59. when he danced to knock knock and then got all shy. my boy knew ALL the steps :‘)

60. when he forgets lyrics while busking and makes shit up. priceless.

61. on his solo live, when he made that song about soy sauce and dipping meat in it and it being delicious to the tune of what can i do. istg younghyun what can you not do

62. his business administration windbreaker

63. in general, his love for business administration lmao i love him

64. his efficacy and will to get good grades even while touring

65. his dubsmashes and that baby sound one in particular

66. “I GOT TACOS”

67. his vibratos in songs. they’re like a separate entity altogether. we’ve got young k’s beautiful versatile voice, then we’ve got his vibratos. right there, on a pedestal.

68. that one fantaken picture of him at the recent thailand concert where he’s wearing a blue shirt and hugging himself(?) idk it’s cute his cheeks are full , he looks happy :’)

69. when he loses his shit during “sing me” in concerts and just vibes with the crowd. best.

70. kang younghyun’s DayDreaming. pre debut. go listen to it if you haven’t. rightnow.

71. the thumbnail of the last third degree video. young k with terry. it’s the look on his face. the innocence. i melt

72. his relationship with people around him and friends. it’s so cool and he literally leaves no stone unturned while thanking his friends :’) (KMESS4LYFE i c u)

73. i don’t say this enough but the lyrics of all alone. younghyun’s part. “i wish someone would hug me and tell me i’ve worked hard when i came home”. come here bby i’ll hug you you’ve worked so hard.

74. kang younghyun’s eyes.

75. him in a black cap and earrings and a white tee.a look.

76. “someone pls teach me how to tweet” 

77. him forgetting his own collab song with jimin on a live broadcast of ASC

78. him admitting in a concert that he’s felt like running away at times and he’s here only bc of the fans’ love for day6. im not crying u r

79. this one tumblr post of him growing up thru the years it’s like an ‘evolution of his smile’ post it brings me to tears

80. his habit of repeating something someone says if he finds it amusing

81. him opening a bottle of beer for dowoon

82. the look on his face when my days are singing man in a movie from start to finish without any percussion or bgm. an in a movie. a song he wrote. a b-side track.

83. the way he says bye to the camera swaying from side to side

84. when he was a total sport and jammed to b.i spitting freestyle rap in his face(WIN)

85. “noo. nooo he’s lying. i beat him i hit himm”

86. “YOU ARE MY DAY!”

87. the aaa falsetto at the end of that part^^

88. his verse at the beginning of “i would”. i think that’s what he’d sound like in the morning.

89. he’s just so humble. he literally writes the lyrics we all love so much but never misses an opportunity to commend everyone’s talent “i get the most ideas but jae has the best ideas”

90. “young k has maximum experience when it comes to girls. he knows what warms a woman’s heart”. lmao i agree

91. him singing “oh wonpil you play the piano so well” at the end of a pocket live

92. the fact that he was dating in canada without his parents’ knowledge and that’s where he gets the inspiration to write songs from. idk it’s adorable

93. his borderline jazz version of pouring in a pocket live. i hear you jazzy rhythmic finger snaps

94. his smirk when he does the “aah” part in “what can i do”

95. his awe and admiration for his dongsaengs like he’s genuinely in love with how talented the the stray kids boys are

96. “i ask people to call me young k bc as young k, i can make up for the inadequacies of brian. brian is weak.” this is why i often stick to young k now. yeah it’s fun to joke around but maybe he dOES feel more emotionally and mentally adequate as young k. maybe he feels more empowered or stronger and i don’t want to invalidate that. it takes courage to say what he said in front of a crowd.

97. just the stuff he’s gone through and how strong he is. he’s overcome so much. brave and powerful.

98. the fact that he doesn’t ever fake it with his lyrics, he remains true to his music and so does the rest of day6. stan day6.

99. he’s so interactive with fans and always wants to see us happy. you could say your fav idol does that too but this really IS why i love younghyun

100. the final reason is just because he lives. he lives despite all the obstacles that were probably thrown at him, and i respect and adore that. the way he makes us feel a little less lonely with words that he’s penned out of his own sorrow. the selflessness. i am lucky to listen to songs he has written and day6 has sung. he’s a beautiful human who deserves all ALL the love :’)

thank you for reading, my dudes

[weirdmixofweirdness]

The New Chase Brody

A year and a half. That was how long it had been since Jacksepticeye slipped into a coma. Not only that, but Schneeplestein-the one source of protection for the Septics- disappeared trying to save the Irishman. This left Jackieboyman, Marvin the Magician, Chase Brody, and Jameson Jackson defenseless against resident glitch, Antisepticeye. Each day, the egos got together to discuss how they would both wake their creator up, and bring the good doctor back.

“The fans are starting to realize that Jack’s gone,” the magician said at the start of one of their meetings. He took Schneep’s place as leader after the doctor went missing. Oddly enough, he was the only remaining Septic ego with a solid head on his shoulders. “We need to convince them that everything is okay.” Hints of guilt could be found in his voice, as well as on the face of his fellow egos. “I hate lying to them as much as you guys, but their attention gives that glitchy bastard more power.” As the magician paused, a fearful aura filled the air. The Septics were all aware that Anti’s power came from their creator’s community. “So, does anyone have any ideas?” He looked directly at the others, waiting for suggestions. The room fell silent for a short moment, until Jameson pointed at Chase Brody. All eyes were now on the young ego. He appeared to be zoned out, unaware of what was happening around him.

“What about Chase?” The red superhero was just as dumbfounded as Marvin was.

“He does a stupendous impression of Jack,” the black and white ego signed.

“Trying to imitate him has done nothing but make the fans more suspicious!” Jackieboyman raised his voice, causing the mute Septic to flinch. The magician suddenly thought back to when Chase would jokingly pretend to be Jack. The young ego nailed his impression, from the voice, to the facial expressions, to the laugh. He could even mimic the green bean’s small mannerisms. The meaning of what Jameson said was now clear to him.

“Actually, I think he might be onto something,” the hero looked at him with anger in his eyes. Before the hero can respond, Marvin continues to speak. “He impersonates Jack better than we ever could,” Brody’s head remained in the clouds as his fellow Septics continued to talk. “He has a pretty good chance of convincing the community,” as Jackieboy proceeds to pout and cross his arms, the magician turns around to face the daydreaming ego. “Chase?” Brody continued to look out into the distance. “Chase,” he repeated, with a firmer tone this time. Still no reaction from the young father. “Chase!” Marvin finally shouted, causing the former youtuber to jump out of his skin. He quickly shakes off his fear, ashamed of causing a scene.

“Sorry, I was...thinking about other things.” More specifically, he was thinking about his ex-wife, Stacy, and his young children. Ever since the divorce, Chase has developed a form of depression; one that just keeps getting worse and worse. “What do you need?” Brody asked in a quiet voice.

“Can you still do your impression of Jack?” Marvin’s question makes Chase scrunch up his face in utter confusion.

“Yeah, I think so,” his voice became hesitant. “Why?” He asked.

“We,” Marvin faced the angry ego, placing emphasis on this first word. “Want you to impersonate Jack until we can wake him up.” Jameson nodded his head in agreement.

“Why would you want me to...?” Chase was instantly cut off by his magical fellow ego.

“Come on, you even made Signe believe you were him.” Jack’s girlfriend wasn’t particularly easy to trick, so pulling that off was really something. “If you can convince her, you can convince anybody, maybe even millions of people.” The young father’s head dropped down in emotional turmoil.

“Guys...I don’t think I’m r-ready to be in front of a camera yet. I’m all over the place right now and....” the young ego paused, sighing deeply to prevent tears from breaking through. Out of nowhere, a pair of arms wrap him in a warm hug. Chase turns to find Jameson hugging on his side. Marvin and Jackieboyman soon join in, pulling the Brody into a tight embrace, the hero forgetting for a moment about his anger. The magician adds to his comfort by rubbing on the young father’s back with his free hand.

“I can’t even imagine how hard it must be for you.” Tears made their way down Marvin’s cheeks as he hears his fellow ego break out into sobs. “But Jack needs us, Schneep needs us, the community needs us.” At this, the former youtuber’s crying came to a sudden halt. When he created Bro Average, everything he did was done to spread joy to his audience. He wanted nothing more than a happy, positive fan base, just like Jack. Chase broke out of the group hug, rubbing the fallen tears off of his eyes.

“I’ll do it.”

“Are you sure?” Jackieboyman asked, still worried about him. Whatever Rae he had before was gone at this point.

“The community needs Jack.” The young ego seemed to be suddenly more sure of himself. “And I don’t wanna let them down, now do I?” S smile forms on the young man’s face, eminating the positivity of his creator. “Let’s serve them some PMA!”

Okay, so that was my first attempt at fan fiction. If you have any suggestions or writing tips, please reply to me with them. My writing technique is kinda crappy right now, so I’m 100% open to learning ways to improve that.

Thank you for reading! I hope the rest of your day is good and weird. Bye! 👋

[samuelfields]

How To Tell If You’re Rich Even If You Think You Aren’t

Congratulations everyone! According to this chart below, everybody is rich in America! Our assets are at the highest level compared to our income in all of history thanks to tremendous asset price appreciation.

Anybody who bought stocks and real estate between late 2009 and 2015 is sitting mighty pretty. When you’re sitting mighty pretty, you tend to spend more frivolously and take on debt to buy things you don’t really need. But at some point, a percentage of the population gets carried away, commits financial suicide, and brings the rest of us down with them.

I’m really hoping the good times will last for several more years. After all, it’s more fun making money hand over fist than losing money. I’m just kind of worried that with cash-out refinances reaching pre-crisis levels, we’re bound to repeat our mistakes from the previous financial crises.

How To Tell If You’re Rich

There is a qualitative side and a quantitative side to being rich. If you’re two standard deviations higher than the median household income of $59,000 and the median household net worth of $100,000, you’re considered rich. At a two standard deviation, you’re richer than 97.8% of all Americans.

I think the qualitative side of being rich is much more interesting because being rich is more of a feeling after all your needs are met. Feeling rich also comes from a temporary state of mind. It’s just like experiencing spikes of happiness due to a promotion, a raise, getting into your school of choice, hitting a home run, or getting married, followed by what is hopefully a sustainable level of contentment.

The first time I felt a little bit rich was a couple years after I bought my own place in 2003. The initial years were a little nerve-wracking due to the assumption of $425,000 in debt. But after two years, I felt like everything would be OK since I continued to get promoted. I felt rich because I finally owned a piece of America. No longer was I a price taker in an ever rising rental environment.

The second time I felt rich was when my company agreed to let me go with a severance payment and all my deferred cash and stock. I felt like I had won the lottery because I would have gladly left if they just gave me my deferred cash and stock that paid out over the next five years. But they decided to give me a six-figure lump sum check when I left as well, which has almost doubled since 2012 because I invested it all of it in the stock market.

The third time I felt rich was about three years after I left Corporate America. Again, the initial years were a little worrisome despite the severance because I wasn’t sure whether I had made the right move. But by 2015, I knew we were home free as Financial Samurai grew so my wife joined me in early retirement. Having the freedom to choose how we spend 100% of our time was priceless.

The fourth time I felt rich was when our passive income finally reached a level that could sustainably provide for the lifestyle we wanted. Before then, we were only generating about $80,000 a year, which doesn’t go far if you want to raise a family in San Francisco. It was after hitting $200,000 that I felt I could finally slack off a little bit without worrying about falling too much behind.

The most recent time we felt rich was when our son was born. He is a miracle baby because we had tried for several years with no luck. His birth helped crystalize all the effort we had put into studying, saving, investing, working, and taking risks. Since my wife and I are both pretty frugal, using our wealth to provide for someone feels wonderful.

How Rich You Should Feel Based On Net Worth And Income

Given I can’t tell you how to feel, let me introduce to you a simple chart that tells you how you should feel based on a simple net worth-to-income multiple. You can use the average income you’ve earned over the past three years. Or you can separately plug in your personal ideal income where making more brings you no additional happiness. That ideal income figure for us is $300,000 a year for a family of up to four.

Eventually, you will reach a point where you will no longer want to work for anybody or hustle as hard because your wealth is making more money than you need. For example, during a bull market you might see a 10%+ appreciation of your investments for the year. If your net worth is $1 million and it was 100% invested, you might begin to start second-guessing the necessity of working at a $100,000 a year day job.

Hence, it follows that starting at around 10X your average income, you’ll begin to start imagining what being rich really feels like. You’ll start to daydream about what it would be like to actually work at a job you enjoy. Perhaps you might even get enough courage to try becoming an entrepreneur.

When you hit 20X your average income in net worth, you finally begin to actually feel rich. A lot of folks believe that you’re financially independent once you reach 20X your average annual expenses. But I never felt this way because expenses can dramatically increase if you have health issues, experience some type of accident or natural disaster, start a family, or your parents need senior care assistance.

Once you’re over 50X your average income, you are unquestionably really rich, even if you don’t believe it. At 50X, you’re no longer second guessing your spending habits because you likely won’t be able to spend all your money before you die. You only need to return two percent a year to sustain your lifestyle, while the risk free rate of return is currently at 3%.

Having more money no longer brings any sort of happiness. You also begin to feel guilty for having so much. As a result, you give more of your time and money away to institutions and people that need your help the most.

Hoarding Can Be A Disease

Jeff Bezos from Amazon is worth over $100 billion. When asked what he plans to do with his money recently, he said he wants to use his wealth to go to space. Jeff has the incredible ability to ignore the poverty plight within his own Seattle community. Instead, he’d rather hoard as much of his wealth as possible while he is still alive. Yes, he’s revolutionized the way we shop and made consumption cheaper and easier, but come on now.

Given we can only pass down ~$11 million per person death tax-free, hoarding so much more than $11 million, let alone billions, makes little sense as the government will first tax you ~40% and then proceed to squander much of your money.

Therefore, the best strategy for feeling rich is to determine your ideal income for maximum happiness and accumulate at least 20X that income figure. Once you get there, spend your time figuring out as many ways to help other people as possible. The more you give, the richer you feel.

Related:

What Income Level Is Considered Rich?

Scraping By On $500,000 A Year

Readers, when did you start finally feeling rich? At what multiple of average income or ideal income do you think you’ll finally feel rich? What does being rich mean to you?

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