#(pointing at brutus) (mortal kombat scorpion voice) GET OVER HERE

[sforzesco]

I mean this with so much love, it's actually really fun to me to try to understand the puzzle that is your relationship with Brutus!

WHEEZING I'm glad it can be a fun puzzle, but also allow me to give you some of the pieces that are missing because I rant about it elsewhere/not on this blog

there's are very few things I hate more than political sell outs, and by extension, political nepotism hires. there's a kind of political hypocrisy with brutus, where he's very on board with himself internally, but just cannot seem to get with it externally (ie; he's got convictions about pompey, he's got convictions about loans, but he's fine with taking UNEARNED political favor from caesar which tarnishes his reputation, and fucks up handling cassius' death and management of the army because he has the group leadership, disciplinary skills, and decision making capabilities of a wet sock) that makes me want to. heugh.

it's a failure of leadership that brutus and antony share (that FUCKING parthian campaign), and all of this specifically is overlayed by the stage of interpersonal-political drama from the philippine revolution because philippi and the fall of the revolution have enough thematic overlap it's a part of my brain forever now. and sometimes. when I'm reading. brutus does something that reminds me of aguinaldo. and this is absolutely Not Fair To Brutus, because I have sympathy for brutus, that man should've been in a library not in a battlefield, but I want to chase him with a giant squeaky hammer for it.

fascinating person! love the hypocritical contradictions! what a firecracker of a man, what a miserable lonely outline of a man. what does it feel like to lose what you had, the way that you did? love turning all of this and him around in my head like he's on a microwave plate.