#(plus the constant pressure of family judging my way of dressing in super bad words like 'you are disgusting' and 'you look so shameful') | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ginkovskij · 9 months ago

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another bad day let's go!!

i don't mind discomfort* but my shoes came apart at the seams so i had to buy a new pair and they are the same type as my old ones (that i dismissed after eight years of service because they had genuine holes in the leather) but they really don't flatter my always bad look and they weren't cheap but i needed them but it was a big expense i wasn't expecting to have right now but it was kinda necessary but now i am running down a semi-suicidal spiral

#i just feel super bad because my trousers also came apart in a way that couldn't be fixed and i bought a new pair #(plus the constant pressure of family judging my way of dressing in super bad words like 'you are disgusting' and 'you look so shameful')#anyway it's two big expenses i had to cover with the saving i was going to use for physiotherapy #and i don't know when i'm going to be paid for this month's work and i fear they will give me literally nothing #on a shallow note i also feel super bad because these shoes are comfortable but unflattering amd go bad with all my trousers #and i already have a super ugly face and duller personality and now a cruel voice inside my head is saying yeah but it's not these #boot's fault you are an unlovable bastard that's only your fault because tou are like this #so mm not having a good day at all #again #do i ever have good days anymore i wonder #kinda respect people who go shopping to keep at bay depression because if i ever buy one thing i will want to kill myself #notes of a countryside dandy

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