#(please don't look at the third one too long... still not good with proportions or whatever)

[angelic37]

TENTOO DAY GIFT EXCHANGE ► romantic date being interrupted for @angryrabbit42

[thelonelyme]

♤𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐡♤

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𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞: ディズニー ツイステッドワンダーランド[Twisted Wonderland]

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐨/𝐢: Malleus Draconia, mc, Sebek Zigvolt, Lilia Vanrouge.

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭: Malleus reacts to the reader that they curse themselves to go back to sleep. [mc x Yandere Malleus Draconia]

𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭: Hello!! I just read your Spoiled and Just a kiss and it was super good!!! But there is something I wanna ask if you don't mind. I saw that Malleus didn't really regret after cursing reader with Sleeping beauty spell even though they did not wake up for many years. And even when they finally woke up, he went and killed the man who saved them. I would like to know how he would respond if the reader became mentally broken or returned to eternal sleep (not death) like before due to all the shock they faced as soon as they woke up. I am sorry if I somehow inconvenienced you. Thank you for all your amazing fics. Love you 😘

𝐀𝐕𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐙𝐄: FEM READER, This is the third part of “Spoiled[1]” and "Just a kiss[2]", so if you haven’t already read that, make sure you do. Yandere content, threats, physical and psychological violence, misogyny, depression, mental illness, torture, gore, mention of past rape, allusions to suicide. I really hate how dark it ended up being, and I wanted to say that I do not condone these acts and behaviours. This is fiction, and none should ever be treated this way. Please, take this as only fantasy.

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐬: @tragedyofdevotion I hope you'll like it and thank you so much, you can't even imagine my happiness when I received your request! I swear, I'm so happy, and thank you for asking me ;3 <3 Btw, sorry if this doesn't show Malleus' point of view much, I hope I haven't screwed it up. Love you too 😚.

"..." You said absolutely nothing, not a gasp, not a small cry, nor a breath stronger than the others, as elder fae sighed.

Again, no reaction.

For days you refused to eat and sleep, you did not want to leave your room, as if you were scared by the corridors of the gothic castle. He could not understand your fear, in his very long life he had to see and hear the people most dear to him die right in his arms.

As much as he loved his son, he could only blame his reckless youth and willful ignorance. After all, he knew you were Malleus's mate, and now there wasn't much he could do for him other than visit his body trapped in a glass coffin.

If he managed to go further and forget his fall, why couldn't you? If he, his father, had managed to go on living, why couldn't you? Then, Malleus was right to have killed him, no queen with a loyal husband at her side would ever think about shedding tears and even refusing to satisfy her primary instincts for the one who should have been a simple personal guard. Furthermore, trustworthy.

If he, Silver's father, managed to go further and forget his fall, why couldn't you? He was his son, but he couldn't feel any remorse; after all, Malleus had warned every single living and wandering soul since he still lived in his dorm not to even dare to look at you for more than a second. His obsession had grown out of all proportion: the young fae had always been raised alone, no one had ever dared to approach him for fear of being potentially burned alive or otherwise.

Fae's morals are very different from human ones.

He was just a harmless child, but those comments, all those insults only served to increase a feeling of infinite emptiness in his soul. And when you, a defenseless and innocent little thing, presented yourself to him, you automatically signed a contract even stronger than Azul's by doing a simple and apparent thing:

You naively gave him your name.

Really, how ignorant could you be? Haven't you ever heard that you absolutely mustn't give your name to a fae? Expecially a powerful one? Then you should have expected your impending kidnapping.

Life doesn't go our way, and being a docile and innocent little lamb in a herd of beasts ready to slaughter anything, being a ceramic pot in a sea of ​​iron pots is nothing less than begging for a bad ending.

He has always been a respectable fae with great intelligence and many tricks up his sleeve, but he had a small problem; he always tended to underestimate what he didn't think was noteworthy enough.

He had always ignored your every desperate screams for help, even when Malleus punished you even more fervently for yelling a name other than his own, or when he forced you to eat even when you could no longer swallow anything, or when he forced you to take care of your child by silently threatening you.

And after all, any part of him couldn't feel any kind of pity towards you: he thought that what you were complaining about, all those screams and your tears were just a whim, and that it would have been better if you had submitted to Malleus ever since from the first moment to welcoming the child of your loving dragon into your womb with a smile on your face.

You would have saved yourself a lot of trouble.

But now, even that calm didn't suit him. And maybe it was his fault that young fae was so.. spoiled.

He had always achieved everything that any human being and could never have desired: wealth, excellent social status, beauty, a great deal of power in his hands, but he could not be envied for his loneliness.

Lilia, tired by the smell of your blood and bored to inflict other wounds on you, got up from your bed soaked in the liquid and headed for the exit, noticing that Sebek was closely observing every move he had made.

The half-fae observed apathetically how, although Lilia was literally tearing your arm apart, you did nothing.

It was as if you were a simple rag doll, with glassy, ​​lifeless eyes and a limp body that would move at the first touch. Maybe your stubbornness was something he could have envied.

But instead of watching his superior inflict wounds that likely would leave marks despite instant healing, you just kept staring at him relentlessly. He would have wanted to take those eyes off you just to make you stop. Lilia was torturing you and you had the damn courage to look at him?

With a wave of his gloved hand, he signaled to the mint-haired fae that it was his turn.

Sebek, on the other hand, was deeply irritated by your behavior.

Not only were you missing the essential points in being a good wife, but you were also affecting her master's emotions, which then spilled over into her entire kingdom.

Sebek hated you.

He hated your being a mere human unworthy of being alongside a powerful and majestic wizard like Malleus was, he hated all your pathetic attempts to escape from his master, blaming them at your stupid stunts and making him lose faith in them.

He hated how you were given everything from the most expensive clothes to the finest jewelry to the most opulent foods, and how you completely despised all these gifts from your husband.

He hated how much concern Malleus put into your health, he hated the fact that even though you were still a stupid human, you still managed to seduce him in unknown ways. And thanks to that Silver, now Malleus probably would have thought he had to throw them out, if not take them out.

In fact, he was still grateful and surprised that he had not yet been killed by Malleus's jealousy, which he constantly praised and thanked him for, as a good servant should do.

He especially loved the moment of your punishment.

Master Malleus had specifically told them to get a reaction in every way, and obviously he had chosen one of the more classic ways of getting someone to talk.

He loved how he could take out all his frustration and tension on your helpless body, he loved having control over your miserable human life, temporarily forgetting about his dirty human father who had dirtied him with a human side. But even though he was half like you, he had no remorse in his actions.

He saw all of this as a pass that would raise him from the mass of ungrateful people in Malleus' eyes, he wanted to be his favorite, he wanted to be the one he would care for with so much concern, he wanted to be the one to be drowned in the great amount of compliments that he gave you and that you despised hatefully, he would liked to kill you.

════════*.·:·.☽✧✦✧☾.·:·.*════════

"So, let's summarize the situation. I charge you to get my beloved wife out of her particular moment, and she still refuses to come and talk to me?!" The monarch told them menacingly, approaching step by step their figures kneeling in front of him. He couldn't believe they couldn't use any method he advised them to use to stop her from continuing with this nonsense she was doing.

He was honestly disappointed with their results.

If the two of them couldn't convince his wife to go out and finally abandon her stupid childish behavior, they wouldn't have been of any use to him.

And he had had enough.

Years and years of pampering you were probably never deserved. With a sudden movement he rose from his throne, meanwhile frightening even the two children who were blissfully ignoring the conversation until then.

He cast a cold glance at the two knights.

"Take the kids and take them to the woods, I need to have a chat with my wife. Now." Without even waiting for an answer, he quickly walked away, purposely avoiding teleportation.

He had to think about what to do.

The weather outside had changed drastically: cloudy at first, now the sky was completely black, big clouds charged with electricity and rain ready to burst at the slightest change in Malleus's magic.

Slight rumors could be heard from your room.

But it didn't matter anymore. You understood. You finally figured out the only way you were going to hurt Malleus once and for all.

You.

You were his only weakness.

Paradoxically, at that time you had much more power than the most powerful wizard in Twisted Wonderland. You had the power to destroy him in a way that no one ever did, and you didn't care in the slightest about the consequences your actions would bring. For you everyone could all have died in atrocious ways, you don't care about the aftermaths. The world had completely forgotten you, and this time it was your turn to do so.

Slowly craning your head towards the bedside table, you watched apathetically at the dagger that Sebek had put down some time before. You were happy to be hated by Sebek, you would have felt like shit otherwise.

With the last strength left in your body, you reached out to grab the blade.

Then you bent down to take the vial you had jealously guarded between the mattress and the headboard.

You crushed the object in your hands and immediately one after the other, many pieces of splintered glass pierced your hand from side to side, but in the end the liquid had managed to slip on the blade.

You took a sigh.

"THREE."

"TWO."

"ONE!"

"NO!"-

Total darkness.

════════*.·:·.☽✧✦✧☾.·:·.*════════

You finally managed to escape from him. You loved no one, and no one could ever wake you up.

There was no other Silver, there was no one.

Nobody could break through that barrier in your head.

You were free. Eye for an eye, tooth or tooth.

You had chosen freedom and had to sacrifice your body, but now you were finally free to dream.

════════*.·:·.☽✧✦✧☾.·:·.*════════

Part one

Part two

Part three

Part four

[viria]

Hey Vika. I am twelve years old and have just got a new digital art tablet. I love your art work and cannot live without Percy Jackson or Harry potter. I hey Vika. I am twelve years old and cannot live without Percy Jackson or Harry potter. the characters you do I imagine them just as you portray. My digital art is the worst and I am only a beginner. I was just wondering how you started things off and improved your work. I don't know how to do any of this and would like a little guidance. Thanks

Hello! First of all, I need to say that I am going to say everything from the perspective of an adult, so in my eyes 12 years old is a very lucky age to start getting into art! I started when I was around 15-16, and I often wish I started earlier than that. So, whenever you get discouraged, please remember that there are very few people who can start drawing and turns out they are naturally gifted to it^^ The majority of artists you see on the internet and you look up to, and love their work, they started just as you, so please have it as a little reminder to yourself.  I started because I stumbled upon burdge’s work and I absolutely fallen in love with it and wanted to draw too. And I think her art tutorials were also the very first I have seen and tried to apply to my art, so advice number 1! Google art tutorials (may as well add for beginners), just so you can get some idea on how the majority of artists “build” their characters. Guide lines, circles, simplified shapes, it’s all something that can greatly help you at the start. I have the link for tutorials on the right of my page that has a lot of tutorials I reblogged over the years, so perhaps you can find something that you find helpful there. Or, just google things at a time, like Head tutorial, Body tutorial, proportion, etc! But start fairly simple, because it can get absolutely overwhelming at first, to have this many things all piled up for you. It’s okay to take things slow, and you will gather more and more knowledge as you go.  Same with digital art^^ YouTube can be your best friend with this, because so many artists post speed paints, or detailed tutorials and explanations on how they, for example colour. So you can try looking at a few (for your program of choice) to get a general idea on how different people approach art. Like layers, brushes, step by steps, layer options and such. 

What else... As a word of advice, probably try to not emulate only 1 artist at the beginning of a journey called “art style”. Speaking from experience, it may be hard to branch off from it once you find you’d like to be something more your own. So you can find like 4-5 (or more, but it will come later regardless) artists whose art style you like, and try to copy bits and pieces from each style - say you love the way 1st artist draws eyes - you can try to copy that, most likely it will not turn out exact, but it’s a good thing, because it ends up being like something you love, but with your own flare to it. Artist number 2 draws most beautiful noses - and you try to emulate that! (combined with eyes you learnt from artist 1). Artist number 3 has great shading, and you try to get yours similar to it. And etc, and etc, and etc, this is a process that keeps going on for as long as you draw, that’s why styles are a very flexible thing and change and change and change more overtime. You live in the age of the beauty of YouTube, and Pinterest, and so many other resources and tutorials, I'm sure you’ll do great as time goes on! Don’t be afraid to use references, and you can look at art exercises different artists suggest (like first tracing the guidelines on the reference to understand how the shape works, then drawing from the reference, and then trying to repeat that same pose without looking at reference). Or combine references! Say, you draw clothing from one reference, and pose from the other, and you looked up how the hair looks and flows from the third, while background would be 4th. It doesn’t have to be as overwhelming at the beginning, but that’s just so you can get the idea^^ References are absolutely great and helpful. So please keep at it, you have your while life ahead of you to improve and learn, and keep learning. I have been drawing for probably 11 years or so, and I certainly can say I got better, but there are still things I cannot really draw, but it’s coming to me, albeit slowly^^ Art is a thing that can take a long time to get good at, but don’t let it stop you from enjoying the process, because that’s the main thing (even though occasionally you might find yourself disliking it and getting discouraged by it), it comes and goes.  If I look through my art of last 3 years I can always say which drawing felt like Art crisis, and which I felt great, and the pattern is that after art block, and art crisis, there always comes an improvement^^ I’m sure yours will come soon as well, the main thing is to keep at it and be fairly consistent. That’s quite obvious, but the more you draw, the better you get^^ And good luck! I’m sure it all works out for you<33 

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 2800

i started this shit 400 weeks ago.

batshit insane, yknow?

anyway.

i woke up this morning tired still, but in a great mood. as i was taking a shower, i thought to myself, "wow, i woke up in such a good mood. something's gonna hit the fan today."

it did.

i sat down and had a confrontation about religion with my mother. she asked why i stopped going, and i said that for the first time, i realized i could make my own decisions and i could stop doing things i didn't want to do. i didn't want to go to church, so i didn't. there were a lot of things i pointed out to her, like there's a parallel between her telling dad when he says "that's the first i've heard of it" and how that hurts her feelings, when i tell her things that have happened to me and she says "that's not something that happens" that hurts. she said she's never done that. she's done that every time i've talked to her about religion and about why i don't want to go. it ended in me telling her "please don't talk to me about religion anymore. i know this hurts you, but it hurts me more."

she said, "i don't think that's true, because you don't know how much this hurts me."

i replied, "you don't know how much it hurts me."

and i walked out the door.

i headed to joel's. i called a few people on the way.

i called joel to let him know i was on my way, and that i was kind of a mess and completely falling apart. i called andrew, who was the one person i knew would understand, and he told me to breathe, to focus on my breathing. i recognized the feeling of the weight that was sitting on my chest. it's grief. so thanks to his advice i was able to sit with it and stop crying a little bit. i thanked him, and he continued with his day. i called my sister. i told her what happened, about the whole conversation. she pointed out some things, which were very helpful to remember, like not blowing things out of proportion just yet, to understand that mom's just as much of a disaster as all of us, even though it doesn't excuse being shitty and/or gaslighting her kids. she told me that i've always got a place to stay or go if i don't want to go home, and that she's sorry i had to endure that conversation. i told her she'd probably have a better time having that conversation than i would, even though she hasn't really had that conversation with her. ("it's probably because you got out of the house so soon." "i think you're right.") by the time i got to joel's, i was feeling better and laughing at something she said about running a campaign where you're just eight kobolds in a trenchcoat trying to go about a normal day but they're just mental illness characteristics. i said "that sounds hilarious, but that's really just what i go through in any given day."

i stayed with joel for a little bit before we headed out again. he held me and let me cry and tell him about it all and talked to me to keep me calm. it didn't take me too long to not look like i'd been crying for a solid half hour. that was nice.

we headed out to our friend's party, which was actually a lot of fun. it was a surprise party for our friend, who was told it was just a game day, but no, we had cake and cupcakes and brownies and a bunch of food in addition to the games. so i sat and played some games and it was actually really nice to get my mind off of everything for a few hours. before i played the games though i sat and ate a third of an entire ass cake. two-layer 9" cake, vanilla with vanilla frosting, it was really good actually. i ended up learning another person in our greater group of people is also exmo, and suddenly everything makes so much sense. he's kind of the weird uncle but i finally understand why he is the way he is. when i'm with my closest friends, i'm the same way. so that was comforting to learn.

we came back after i finished up my second game when i was tired, and we stopped for gas and i filled my tank, emptied my trash bag, and refilled my wiper fluid. felt good to do something productive.

we got back and joel and i sat in bed and watched the remaining episodes of the book of boba fett. (my phone autocorrected that to "bobs feet." no thanks, bob.) i liked it. remember, just because i like something doesn't mean that it's good. but i liked it.

antsy, it's bedtime and i'm working from home tomorrow and my laptop is at my parents' house, so i'm not entirely looking forward to that, but i have to wash my laundry and pack my shit for a week at joel's.

joel is sleeping soundly beside me. i'm so grateful for him. today more than ever.

[yunho-es]

Member/s: Seonghwa (ATEEZ), Namjoon (BTS)

Genre: soft/angst

Warnings: swear words

Words: 2133

"May I take your order?"

"Chocolate croissant and orange juice, please." I say, handing back the breakfast card to the waitress. "Namjoon?"

The man in front of me lifts his look from his card. "I will have blueberry pancakes, please." he gives back his card and smiles politely at the waitress. She smiles back at us and leaves with our orders. "I heard your little boyfriend is in town." he coughs.

"Little baldie is here?" I reply calmy, ignoring the fact that he calls him my boyfriend. He laughs and slaps his hands at my words. I know his laugh is coming from his heart when he does that.

"Why baldie?"

"Since he became a little famous on YouTube with his singing he behaves like a kpop idol; dyeing his hair 3 times a month." I roll my eyes and look over at the kitchen door, waiting for my meal to come out.

"So... He's behaving like me?" Namjoon raises his eyebrow.

"You can make fun of me but at the end of the day you are the ones that will end up bald." I can't help myself so I start laughing and he joins. "Also, he's not my boyfriend."

"If we ask you, of course he isn't." the brown haired boy looks towards the kitchen door too, ignoring my suspicious look. Then he takes his phone and starts texting someone.

"What do you mean if you ask me? Who else do you ask?" I know who, but I want to hear the words from someone else so I can be sure. But Namjoon pretends he doesn't hear me and continues to type on his phone. I look down on his screen trying to read the person's name. "Typing on the phone while you're with someone is considered rude, in case you didn't know."

I lean back in my chair and watch his face, waiting for a reaction. But he doesn't move anything except his fingers. Finally, I saw the waitress coming towards our table.

"I swear I'm gonna eat all your pancakes." he smirks and leaves his phone.

"If you do that, it will be your last meal." he says with a wink. The waitress put he croissants and orange juice in front of me, then the pancakes with a glass of water in front of Namjoon. Just as she was about to leave, he stops her. "One medium vegetable omelette and sausages too, please. Thank you."

I give him a confused look. "Don't you have to watch what you eat?" he looks at his pancakes, then at me, then back at his pancakes.

"What are you talking about? I am watching what I eat." he proceeds to stare at his plate. "And it looks delicious." as soon as he said that he stuffed his mouth with the blueberries first, then pancakes.

"You're so funny I forgot how to laugh. Sometimes I miss you when you have a busy schedule but I get tired of you real soon."

"Isn't she a delight?"

I turn around quickly as I feel a voice near my ear. "Holy sh*t!" I jump and the person laughs.

"Nice to see you again." the blonde haired boy said. Just two weeks ago he had blue hair and a different clothing style. "Hi, Namjoon."

"You made it! Unfortunately I'll have to go as soon as I finish this but you have your little girlfriend here." Seonghwa sits next to Namjoon on the opposite side of me and smiles. "You two enjoy. I ordered what you told me." so that is why Namjoon was on the phone the whole time.

The two of them start a small talk and I find myself staring at Seonghwa. His look changed, but his facial expressions and body language didn't. I know exactly how he reacts when he's surprised, angry, happy or sad. I know his eyes very well. Speaking of his eyes, I noticed him giving me a few quick glances. My boyfriend, says Namjoon. I can't wait to find out what that is about.

***

"Kids, it was nice seeing you, but Hoseok told me I have to leave soon to catch them on the bus." Namjoon takes his jacket and puts his sunglasses on. Then he does his little handshake with Seonghwa and hugs me. "Enjoy your meals!"

"How old do I have to be for you to stop calling me a kid?" the blonde boy complains.

"I don't know. All you can do is wait and find out." finally, he gets up and leaves the cafe. Now I'm left with one chocolate croissant, half glass of juice and a boyfriend. They say that based on your morning, that's how the rest of your day will be. Let's see.

"Hi." he speaks first. "I'm sorry I didn't ask if you were comfortable with me coming here. I know that you're not a big fan of me." I notice one of his movements when he's nervous: playing with his fingers and rings.

"Says who?" I can be rude towards him sometimes, roasting the h*ll out of him just to have a good laugh. But as time passes I realise that while I'm getting the laugher, he's getting the embarrassment and lower self-confidence. Today I will be the best I can. "Just because I make a few jokes sometimes that doesn't mean I can't stand you."

"I wouldn't say a few jokes..." he grabs the fork and starts picking the remaining vegetables on his plate, then continues. "Are you still working in the same place?"

I explain to him that our boss had a case in her family and gave all employees three days off. He nods his head at my words as a small sign that he understands. "What about you?" I finish the other croissant, together with the juice and lean back into my chair, ready to listen to him.

"I have a few days off too. Not because something happened to my boss, but because I accidentally set the studio on fire." he replies calmly. I stare at him wide eyed, waiting for him to laugh or at least say that he is joking. But when I see that he doesn't even look at me I realise he is serious.

"Even though I'm really curious about what happened, I have another question."

I decide to ask him about Namjoon's words. It is a joke, but there must be something that created it: a situation, or a person. Seonghwa finishes his plate as well and takes a sip of his water. Then I decide that we should rather take a walk. We've been too long in this place and I need fresh air. I will ask him about it outside.

***

It is a warm, sunny day, just like they said last night on TV. Seonghwa decided that a nearby park was a perfect place to sit and talk, and I agreed. So here we are, sitting on a wooden bench, listening to birds.

"Look, I wanted to ask you-"

"Namjoon told you, didn't he?" he interrupts me. As usually, he avoids to look at me and instead just looks around the park. I turn my body towards him, putting both of my legs on each side of the bench.

"He didn't tell me much. If you want, I can pretend that I don't know anything and you can say what you wanted instead of him." I try to speak as calm as I can. With his hands in his pockets and his lip under his teeth, he still refuses to look at me. I never saw how pretty his side profile is. He truly looks like an idol: with his clear skin, sharp jaw, almost perfect face proportions.

Finally, he sighs and turns his head towards me and catches me staring. "I think I have feelings for you." he goes straight to the point. My mouth suddenly gets dry and I try to think of my next words, but when he sees that I'm trying to speak, he puts his hand up as a sign to stop. "Let me finish. Believe me when I say that I have no clue when this started, and how it started. You always made fun of me and my dreams, but I laughed with you. You always refused to go out with me anywhere, and when you did go out with me, suddenly a third person would join. In case you didn't notice, I found a job in a studio on the other side of the city, just to be far from you. That way I could help both of us, but it didn't work. I still have no f*cking idea how I fell for a person like you, but I'm-"

"A person like me?" I raise my eyebrow. "What is that supposed to mean?" the blonde haired boy laughs at my words, making me even angrier.

"From all of the things I said, that's what you decide to ask me? Yes, a person like you. A mean person. A person that would embarrass anyone just to give the crowd a good laugh, even if it meant breaking the person. You know what? Forget it. I'm going back to the hole which I came from and I'll continue working hard on my stupid and impossible dreams, as you say. I don't even know what I expected from you." with those words, he gets up from the bench, not giving me a single look. Then he starts walking away. It takes me a few moments to replay all of his words in my head, and I get mad at myself for getting mad at him. He has every right to be like this, but one thing I still can't understand.

"Hey, idiot!" I slap myself mentally. Was it hard to call him by his name? It stayed as a habit, I guess. As expected, Seonghwa doesn't turn around, so I'm forced to run towards him. I grab his arm and stand in front of him, thinking of my next words. A sorry is all I can say. His gaze is killing me. From the look on his face I can see that he is remembering all the moments I let him down. I've never felt more ashamed and bad. He laughs sarcastically again and keeps walking. "No, please! You have no idea how sorry I am. All I wanted was to fit in I didn't even think about-"

"That's the thing. You didn't even think." he interrupts me for the second time today. "I hope you feel at least a little bit like I felt most of the time."

He's trying to look angry, but every few seconds his gaze softens. I used a boy with dreams to impress people I didn't even know. As a result, I broke him.

"But still, my mind and my heart are so tired and broken that I still wish to grab you and kiss you right here, hoping that you won't push me away." the words leave his mouth as a soft whisper. My hand is still holding his arm and I can't seem to let go.

All the words he said to me made me see him in a different light. I always saw him as that guy with good grades, but too big dreams, as the guy who could take all the jokes and even make jokes about himself. But right now, in front of me stood a grown up man, confessing everything so bravely. And his wish became true; I did feel a bit like he did. Humiliated and ashamed, but ashamed of my behaviour, not my dreams.

As we stood like that in the middle of the park, I didn't notice that he closed the gap between our bodies and gently removed my hand from his arm. "I really want to kiss you." he admits and waits for a response.

"How can you kiss a person like me?" my eyes are slowly starting to get teary as I keep replaying all his words in my head. He doesn't respond to that. Instead, he grabs my face gently with both his hands and presses his soft lips on mine. I close my eyes with a sigh and allow myself to return every kiss he gives me. I melt into his touch and find myself asking for more. After a few very short kisses, he pulls away.

"How can I not kiss a person like you?" he smiles. "You did make me feel miserable, but that didn't stop me for developing feelings for you. And I always believe in second chances when it comes to people. So please use it well."

[itsallavengers]

gee i don't want to bother you you can 100% ignore me but it's been a shitty week panic attacks are stronger than ever and some of my friends keep making fun of my anxiety (i downplay the whole thing so it's not really their fault) could you please give me some light hearted stevetony with italian!tony? ily so much youre a blessing for this world keep being yourself

Steve was going to be honest here: he didn’t like the sun.

 Bucky and Natasha would kill him for slandering the current Mediterranean summer weather like that, but it was true. He was an Irishman. His skin was pale and unused to anything above mild temperatures. Not to mention the fact that it was just damn uncomfortable to sit and sweat with no way to cool down all day. He wasn’t entirely sure why he’d come on this holiday with his two friends at all, actually. He didn’t like the sun, he didn’t really have the money for it, and he was currently acting as the third wheel to what could have just been Bucky & Natasha’s romantic getaway. But Bucky had asked, and said that Steve needed to take a bit of time off, so here he was. 

Sweating. 

It wasn’t so bad, though. While Nat was off looking around in a little local museum and Bucky was trying to sleep off the hangover from last night, Steve was sitting in a quiet cafe, reading his book and sipping on a latte. He was in the shade to prevent burning, and it was early enough in the morning that the heat wasn’t unbearable. It was actually quite nice.

There was also an incredibly beautiful young man sitting on a table a few feet to his right, nibbling a sandwich and working in a scruffy-looking notebook while he shot Steve occasional furtive glances. That was very nice too. 

He looked to be in his early twenties, and clearly native to the town. They hadn’t picked a touristy spot, which was good for the culture, but bad when it came to the language barrier. And the man didn’t sport any of the typical touristy items; instead lounging around in a breezy white cotton shirt with a few buttons undone, tucked into a pair of form-fitting navy slacks and then ending with some expensive-looking loafers. Atop the dark mess of curls were some aviators, and he wore a black ring on his forefinger that contrasted wonderfully against the olive of his skin. The way he held onto his pen made his fingers flex, and occasionally he would run it over his bottom lip in thought, suck it in, frown for a second before he wrote something else down. 

Yes, Steve may have been staring for a long time now. But in his defence, the man was stunning. Steve could admit he was more than a little enthralled. 

He checked his watch briefly, wondering at what point this was going to get weird and he would have to either approach the other man or leave. He could order another coffee, he supposed-- but too much caffeine gave him a headache. Maybe the man was a regular here. Steve might get to see him tomorrow, maybe smile at him or something.

“hai intenzione di stare lì a fissarmi tutto il giorno o vuoi venire qui?”

Steve blinked, watching the man as he pulled the pen from his mouth and then leaned his head backward, apparently speaking to no one in particular. But then his neck rolled, and he looked Steve right in the eye, his mouth curling into a gorgeously cheeky smile. “I take it you do not speak Italian then?”

Oh. Oh, he was talking to Steve. Fuck. Okay. He spluttered a little and then sat up, resisting the urge to push his hair back or smooth out his shirt. He was calm, he was suave. “I...no,” he stumbled, shaking his head, “was that... sorry, were you talking to me?”

The man nodded, slipping sideways on his chair and then leaning forward so his elbows rested on his knees and his hands were clasped in front of him. He was slim, but muscular. Steve could see the way his shirt smoothed over strong arms as he hunched. And now he was face on, Steve could truly get a feel for what the man looked like. Sharp jaw. Hair that fell artistically over his perfectly-proportioned face. The most beautiful hazel eyes Steve had ever goddamn seen. 

“I said, are you going to sit there and stare all day or are you planning on coming over?”

Steve realised he was being spoken to only a second after he’d stopped watching the way the man’s mouth formed the words, his accent thick, but his English perfect. Steve should probably respond to that, shouldn’t he. “Well, if it’s all the same with you,” he began, before cracking a smile and then standing up. In a few strides, he was at the man’s table, slipping into the seat opposite. He was in the sun here, but he figured that he could make the sacrifice, just this once. 

There was a second of silence, and then the man turned to face him again. His eyes were alight, shining in the sunlight and mingled with intrigue. “Was that an Irish accent I heard just then?” He asked, and God, even his voice was beautiful. Steve had never thought voices could be beautiful until today. 

He nodded. “It was. Born and raised there ‘til my mam moved us over to America. We don’t fare quite as well in this sun as you though. Hence the shade I was in.”

“Oh. We can move?” The man waved his hand backward, but Steve was quick to shake his head, simply smiling in reassurance. 

“It’s fine. I’m Steve, by the way.”

“Ah. I’m Tony.” He smiled and leaned his head into his hands, looking across the table at Steve with that fiery smile of his. His fingers traced idly over his notepad as he eyed Steve, and the writings he’d done were absolutely foreign- not even because they were written in a different language, but because they were all just complex-looking equations and diagrams and things Steve couldn’t even name. He didn’t dwell on them though. There were much more interesting things to be looking at just then. 

Leaning back in his chair and throwing an arm casually across the backrest-- and no, not to flex his muscles like Bucky tried to say whenever he did that--  he let his eyes walk slowly up and down Tony’s body, before stopping for a second at his mouth. The pen was back again. A brief thought crossed his mind, and he swallowed it down hastily. That was most definitely not appropriate for the first conversation. 

But Tony looked like he knew exactly what Steve was thinking anyway, because the smile widened and he took the pen back out from between his teeth again, spinning it in those agile fingers of his. “So tell me- what is an Irishman who doesn’t like the sun doing in Italy right now?” He asked, one eyebrow rising curiously. 

Steve explained the situation easily, talking of Bucky and Nat, the vacation they’d all planned, Steve’s need for a little break. In turn, Tony explained how he’d ended up here, him having come from America too, but much longer ago, back when he was a child and his parents had divorced. He talked emphatically and used his hands when he spoke, and Steve found himself hanging on to every word, Tony managing to make everyday events seem like film-plots. Their conversation came easily, like one would with a long-time friend, and soon Steve realised that a whole hour had passed since he and Tony had begun talking. He blinked in surprise at his watch and then felt the back of his neck. “God, I’m gonna burn,” he muttered to himself, popping his collar up. 

Tony pulled a face, clearly unimpressed by the weakness of his pale skin, but then it turned into a smile as he jumped from his seat and grabbed for Steve’s hand, tugging him upward. “I know how to cool you down,” he said enthusiastically, and Steve found himself being pulled into standing and guided out of the cafe. “How much time do you have?”

Well, Natasha wanted him to join her in the museum about ten minutes ago, so-- “no plans for the day,” he said easily, letting Tony guide them through the winding streets, their bodies brushing and their hands linked together while they navigated the people and market-stalls. Tony greeted locals as he passed them by, the Italian words rolling off his tongue easily. Steve hung on to every word he said, not knowing what he meant, but willing to listen to Tony talking like that for the rest of the goddamn day if he wanted to. It was like music. 

Eventually, Steve realised Tony was leading them to the coastline, and he frowned. “I haven’t bought any swim-trunks with me,” he said warily, but Tony just laughed, turning around and walking backwards while he looked up at Steve. 

“Just wear your boxers, they’ll dry off quickly once you get out!”

“I... I don’t--” but Tony was already leading them down a rickety set of wooden steps, winding down the cliff edge. It was a secluded place, and when they reached the bottom, Steve looked around in awe at the beautiful cove he’d been brought to. There was a small outcrop which slid off straight into the sea, and a few feet onward, a dusting of sand covered by the shade of a tree.

Tony beamed at him. “I come here to do work sometimes. Come, come. The water is lovely.” Without a moment of hesitation, he toed off his loafers and then skidded over the outcrop, where he then started to untuck his shirt from his pants. Steve could only watch, somewhat shocked at the man’s lack of embarrassment, as Tony quickly stripped down into his underwear, finally ending with chucking his sunglasses on top of the messy pile of his clothes. His eyes shone with knowing amusement as he looked over his shoulder at Steve. “My eyes are up here,” he commented, and in mortification, Steve hurriedly dragged his gaze away from Tony’s ass. 

“Sorry, sorry, I didn’t--” but Tony had already turned back around, stepping off the outcrop and then splashing into the water, being submerged immediately. He came up a second later with a gasp, slicking his curls out of his face with one hand while the other clamped around the outcrop. He swam closer to Steve, who was still stood at the sidelines, a little bamboozled by the recent events. 

“You joining me?” Tony asked, his arms folding on the rocks as he cocked his head at Steve. “I might need-- ah, come se dice.... a water-guard?”

“Lifeguard,” Steve said with a small grin, remembering the conversation he’d had earlier about his part-time job as a pool lifeguard when he’d been a kid in order to afford his first ever car. “And you seem to be doing okay right now.”

Tony hummed, and then very dramatically began to flail around, head dipping under the water. “Oh no!” He declared, “my legs have suddenly stopped working! If only I had someone trained to handle a situation like this to come in and save me!” He sunk below the water again, and Steve rolled his eyes and just tried not to laugh as his hands went to his shirt. 

If Tony didn’t seem to think this was strange, then neither did Steve. 

Once he was down to his boxer briefs, he slid in a little more calmly than Tony had done, bracing himself against the rocks and looking at the other man. Water clung to his skin, making crystal trails, pooling at the dip in his collar-bones. His hair was slicked back, but a piece had fallen into his eyes, and he tucked it behind his ear as he tread the water a few feet away. 

He was right though. It really was lovely and cool. 

Steve smiled, sinking under the surface for a moment in order to wet his hair. He could just about touch the surface, but Tony was considerably smaller than him, so he would have to stick to treading the water. Steve came back up with a gasp and then found himself laughing. “This is not how I imagined my day to go,” he admitted, watching Tony’s face soften. 

Then, slowly, he swam forward, cutting through the water and then settling a hand on Steve’s shoulder softly. It slipped across the damp skin, and Tony watched his own fingers as they trailed across Steve’s pale shoulders. “Me neither,” Tony admitted softly, glancing up at Steve through his thick lashes, “but I’m not going to complain. I met a very hot man and got him out of his clothes in under two hours.”

That made Steve laugh. Never in a million years would he have done this back in America. Not like he even could, really. The Hudson hardly counted as a romantic spot for a swim with the person you’d only met once. But everyone said Europeans were very free-spirited. And from what Steve could see, and, uh, feel, that certainly seemed the case. Tony swam a little closer, his other hand finding Steve’s neck, winding around the side of it delicately and pulling himself in until they were chest to chest. Steve curled his own hand around the other man’s waist, taking a small breath. He wasn’t sure he’d ever been quite as affected by someone as he was with Tony. Not in his whole life. 

“I want to kiss you,” Tony said, his words lilted with the accent, his skin glittering in the sunlight, and it was so damn strange for Steve to think of the fact that Tony had almost grown up in New York as the heir to a huge business like he’d spoken of earlier, all slick and hard-lined and American. This just seemed like it was where Tony belonged, far more than that life ever would be. 

Steve smiled, their noses touching. His hand rose from the water, the sound tinkling melodically, and he gently took Tony’s chin in his hand, tilting it up a little more. “I want to kiss you too,” he admitted, “I want to do a lot of things, actually.”

“Hmm?” Tony’s voice was low, warm, suggestive. “You said you have no plans. I don’t either.” He dipped forward, giving Steve the barest brush of lips before pulling away a fraction again.”You can do whatever you want, tesoro.”

Wow. Those words went straight down south, and Steve swallowed, before dipping down and closing the gap between them hastily. The water swirled around them, Tony draping himself onto Steve as they embraced, and vaguely he realised that this wasn’t a private cove and anyone could walk by if they wanted, but it was still difficult to keep his actions even remotely clean when he had a pretty much naked and willing and wet Tony in his arms, sucking on his bottom lip while his hands worked over Steve’s arms. He tasted like coffee and smelled like apples, and his mouth was a devil, licking into him, nipping and sucking and making little noises when Steve touched him in the right places. It was slow, easy, relaxed. The sun shone through the clear blue sky, lighting up Tony’s face as he leaned back against the rock and shut his eyes happily. Steve wanted to work him over. Wanted to find out what his favourite colour was and how he looked spread out on a bed. Just seeing him like this was driving Steve a little mad. God only knew what would happen when they got home.

He was going to have to do a lot of apologising to Bucky and Nat tonight, because he didn’t think they were going to be seeing anything of him for the rest of the day. 

Or the vacation.

-

ao3 / donate to my kofi

[dzpenumbra]

7/5/23

My sleep is gonna be completely fucked. It's 6:20 AM and I'm just starting this. -_- So, needless to say, I'm going to keep it short.

I streamed for 5.5 hours today. I actually really wanted to play some Hades before bed tonight, and still haven't had the time. My entire day was... polish and add another coat of oil to the beads and pot - yoga, which was great - straight into working out which was intense, but I break up the sets by playing Hades while I'm cooling down, that system has been working well for me - then shower - then stream for 5.5 hours - then second coat on the beads and pot (which, if I took a break during stream, I'm now realizing I could've snuck in a third coat today) - now I'm here.

It's just been non-stop. Very full day. I guess it's the sanding that's consuming so much time. I have 28 beads I'm doing, and I have to sand/polish them individually. I think in the future I should try to sand them before putting the first coat of oil on, maybe even before dyeing them, then rely on polishing after that. I'll figure it out. The beads look amazing. They look like little Honeycrisp and Fuji apples, really nice rich color. They're the red ones that I added a thin coat of bluish purple to, to make them look organic... and I didn't like how they came out... so I decided to use them as a "test batch" for the tung oil, and they look fucking beautiful. I really want to prep another batch of beads, but... I really have to figure out a system with this sanding, it's super time-consuming and does a number on your hand after a while. I can't imagine how long a batch of over 100 beads sanded by hand would take. The tung oil finish is looking great though, very pleased with it.

I was swamped with inspiration today. I got ideas for animation, for grip tape design, for the visualizer program... I've actually also really been craving playing around with game design again. Maybe a card game of some sort? Or making a basic mod for a game that's already built? Hades is really inspiring me. It's a phenomenal game, amazing art style, amazing animation, very smooth and comfy playstyles, and the game concepts are really intriguing to me. Oh damn... maybe... --- oh god, I have to stop myself. I was gonna say "I should design a custom d20 campaign..." I've already done that! I don't have anyone to play with! I can't put my time into that again. But I've been tempted to look into maybe making a card game or board game, something like that. Hades is really inspiring me with that. The idea of randomization being a central pillar and building the game off of that.

I've just kinda been getting the urge to open up a program and use it like a sandbox and just go nuts. And tonight, I put that impulse into my visualizer program... and I came out with some cool shit. I made a visualizer that accurately simulated the solar system planetary orbits. I kept the planet spacing proportional, the orbit speeds proportional but had to tweak the planet sizes around to make them legible but not... bumping into each other. I then gave them sorta ghosted trails that formed when specific frequencies peaked, different frequencies for different planets. And started working on adding in stars in the background that flickered and grew in size in response to different frequencies. It came out pretty cool.

The end result wasn't a masterpiece by any means, but it was a good experiment to play around with learning new things in the program. I learned more about "Scenes", which you can kinda use as macros, which is an absolute godsend because my projects turn into spaghetti so fucking quick, it's ridiculous. And I'm really getting a feel for using multipliers vs using exponents for float values. And I'm keeping my workspace more organized too, which makes troubleshooting more streamlined. It's good, I'm enjoying it.

I want to make a visualizer that's like... a landscape silhouetted in front, so the focus is the sky... then as the music plays... the volume level is added to a float value cumulatively, so the music is fueling it... and that float value powers a day/night cycle. During the day, light rays and maybe clouds react to different frequencies in the music... during the night, stars flicker and the moon does its thing. I think that's a nice simple idea with some more complex components to it. I was saying at the beginning of my stream, I want to play around with the idea of very slow big-scale changes. I think it could be really cool. Again, I just kinda need to become more familiar with the program to feel more comfortable with it, and that's what I did today.

Alright, it's getting super late, if I don't go to bed now I never will.

[a-love-transcending-time]

Wanna hear a good news, RR novel now become best seller and got 4 stars according WSJ twitter. Its that mean IR officially death and many of BLEACH fans start to move on and accept ending along with IH and RR. Why not ship our lovely Ichika and Kazui, those cutie cinnamon roll is look like IR 2.0, huh? Just move on right now !

Wanna hear some GREAT news?

I don't care :D

But I’ll play the game. You seem eager to be noticed, since your ships, you know, still arent.

This ask would have actually been amusing to me had you not sent the same thing to so many other IchiRukis in your embarrassing excitement to somehow sell to us that your ships have magically become accepted.

But before I begin, um, ew? What is it with you nasty asses suggesting two children as a ship already? As if you guy’s weren’t disgusting enough. If Ichika and Kazui “look like IR 2.0″ then you’re openly saying IchiRuki was great and really was romantic. 

We Do Knot Always Love You has 4 stars on Amazon Japan with only 8 reviews. Anon, have you read some of those reviews?

Translation: Although I saw BLEACH novels after a long absence and it was exciting after all. The place of the 7th Corps and the 4th Corps etc were the best. Characters (Kira, Urahara, Komamura, Ie village, Yoichi san etc.) who did not know life and death in the 1000-year blood battle edition came out, so it is recommended for those who were concerned about life and death. Although I am a painter, I wanted a little more painting.

Hah, this wasn’t even about RenRuki, but rather the more important plot points.

Now, while this one is a rather positive review to RenRuki, notice how even they agree that RenRuki getting together was unnatural.

Translation: I love the relationship between Renji and Rukia I was really looking forward to it. So I did expect some of these two love patterns mainly As I am responsible for BLEACH novels so far, I have read some works I always thought that it was such a feeling this time because it is a story that is always uncancelable and unbelievable. Certainly love and Rukia are the main but not the whole thing. Impression about 5 or 6 percent in proportion. But since the original was few entangled people, I am happy just to talk a lot. And the fact that these two became a couple is unnatural. By the way it is the impression that the entrance procedure is the main story from the main story of the wedding ceremony.

Here are the four stars :D

Translation: I will review by pinpoint.I like Hinamori Momo, so I expected it for her turn and bought it. As a result, there is a conversation with Lisa, Hirako, Rangiku etc. There is a turn there!However, there is no talk, no entanglement with the 10th captain.Although I did not expect it because I knew that there are many people who do not think that these two are involved interestingly. What do you mean by zero?On the other hand, if you do not want to see these two people, please purchase with confidence.

Translation: As some people are written, it is a disappointing work if you purchased it with expectation for Rukia and love pattern. However, this work is evaluated in such a meaning as it is a work following the original which the original author finished throwing away in various ways and half-ended despair. In the original, the various settings neglected are explained to the readers in this work. Where are the former three seats of the fourth corps? What happened to the vice-captains of the third team and the former captains of the seventh team? What did the super vice captain of the ninth team and the vice captain of the tenth team at the final battle? This work is a follow-up work for various others. Why do not you read people who are variously moyamoya in the final round that suddenly develops too fast? I will finish reading in less than an hour.

Hmm, do you see any attention to RenRuki or IchiHIme? Especially for a novel that was advertised as a wedding novel? I won’t even bring in the lower rating reviews. 

We Do Knot Always Love You is Amazon’s best seller under ONE category, Jump Books. Your sweet novel is not the best seller of novels in general.

So in total, y’all got 27,739 in its 2 week sale.

How cute :)

Meanwhile, over in God Tier ichiRuki world!

The first week sold 6,321 copies while week two

41,109 copies sold in total by the second week with 55, 505 copies by the end of 2012. Damn, so much for your accepted and loved ships.

You don’t even have any bubbles left for me to burst. Not sorry, but no, many fans may have moved on, but they’re certainly not accepting IchiHIme and RenRuki. Why throw away such good taste in beautiful mutual relationships for a dollar store attraction?

Please take your ass to the sandbox, only big kids are allowed on the playground.