#(please also just imagine the amount of no no no no nos i just said having to think about this and losing it. NO!!! NOOOO!!!!! no...)

[inevitablesurrender]

Tumblr’s on Fire so I Have to Post These Before My Birthday Drabbles - 10/10

Series: Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core-specific Characters: Sephiroth and Zack Request: Please something with Sephiroth (or Safay!) in kinky heels. And maybe a corset too for good measure. Notes: I'm aware that there can never be enough Seph/Lazard in the world, but I  decided to revisit an old favorite here.  ...Also, this tuned out to be deeper emotionally than I was going for, but I'm kind of happy about it, so.  It's like crack and feels with a little oldschool "silly" Zack.

They hadn't exactly gotten to the point where they were showing up on each other's  doorstep, sure.  Zack supposed that was kind of unconventional and  Angeal was probably the only First who would allow that sort of thing, but he  kind of needed some guidance and Angeal was out on a mission.  Plus, Sephiroth did say (if maybe not in so many words) that he could be reached if needed, right? Letting out a deep sigh through his bangs, Zack approached the door and made his presence known with the buzzer.  Once.  Then twice, after counting to 60, maybe a little fast.  That seemed... odd.  It wasn't that late, and he knew the First was off duty.  He buzzed again, forcing himself to count more slowly, but even pressing his ear against the admittedly decently soundproof door revealed nothing.  Was something wrong? Overrides were no-nos.  Kunsel had taught him that. Granted Kunsel was also the one who'd taught him how to override door locks, so... that was something to work out later.  It kind of seemed more important to get in and look around, feeling a little worry at the dark living room and kitchen, heading slowly down the hallway that mirrored Angeal's quarters, and-- There was one light on.  In Sephiroth's bedroom.  And it cast just the perfect amount of right on him to get all the details burned into the younger man's mind before he would no doubt meet his inevitable end.  Sephiroth--the Sephiroth-- was standing in front of a full-length mirror in... well, a corset.  A very nice  corset; overbust, but made for men by the look of the cups, cinching his waist  and ending just above his hips, black brocade with silver filigrees and tiny hook closures all along the front seam.  They lead Zack's eyes down even before he had a chance to  think about it, the satin panties leaving little to the imagination, but the sheer black hosiery lead down to-- "Huh."  The younger SOLDIER hadn't really realized he'd said anything. Sephiroth, still in the process of realizing that there was someone uninvited in his quarters, and that said someone was Zack Fair, who had absolutely no idea about this little experiment, nor did anyone else before that moment in time,  blanched impossibly paler, then began to flush with embarrassment.  No one was meant to see, that was why he had a lock, halfway between throwing the other man out physically and  simply slinking away into the closet.  (Oh wasn't that a laugh.) Zack seemed to realize how utterly uncomfortable Sephiroth looked in that moment, holding up both hands and trying to explain, "Not judging, man!  Your, just--  Those heels are bad." A little numb, the First slowly stared down at the red boots, rising just above his ankles and elevating his heels a  good three inches off the floor.  He was a little too stunned to do much more than swallow for the sake of his dry throat, then press, "No?" Shaking his head, the younger SOLDIER confirmed, "Nah, the boots don't really...  go with it, y'know?  But I've got a solution!" Which lead to a long blink.  "You do.  A solution." With a laugh, Zack insisted,  "Yes, ye of little faith.  Give me a minute.  I'll, uh.  Lock the door on my way out."  It seemed it was his turn to blush before excusing himself, running off to wherever it was he was going. Sephiroth sat on his bed.  Staring past the mirror on the inside of his closet door and simply... trying to figure out what had just happened.  Zack knew.   Zack knew a horrible secret that would further make him different, apart, shunned and considered not good enough.  Beneath.  Lower. And yet he hadn't looked disgusted, had he?  If anything, he... was surprised.  But not upset. It didn't make sense.   Maybe about as much sense as a very masculine man deciding to experiment with lingerie.  Which he was probably going to have to get rid of, after that, never to be seen or spoken of again.   Then to figure out how to keep Zack from  talking.  His life, his career, all of it could have been destroyed by him giving in to the curiosities he had-- "Here we go."  Zack's  cheerful voice got a slight jump out of the older man, but he graciously ignored it in favor of handing over some sleek satin-sheen black boots.  "They go a little below the knee.  Might not be perfect, but I think they'll look  better.  And they're about your size." Staring down at the boots handed to him, the numbness slowly flowed out of Sephiroth, leaving confusion behind.   "These are too big to be yours..." "Oh, uh."  Rubbing the back of his  head and not terribly subtly looking away, the younger man admitted, "They're Angeal's.  I'm sure he won't mind; they're a little tight in the calves for him." Angeal's.  He..?  And that was why Zack felt it was...  alright?  Not horrifying, in any case?  His mind caught up slowly, not really  sure he could identify all of the emotions sweeping through him.  That was...  better.  It was better, but...  "What... were you here for in the first  place?" "Oh, I..."  Still making no attempt at eye contact, Zack coughed  quietly.  "I was gonna ask if you used mascara.  And what kind." Lips  pressed together for a moment, Sephiroth searched for any hint of joking.   Teasing, cruel or otherwise.  He found none.  "I don't, personally." "Unfair, man."  Zack protested Sephiroth's naturally perfect  eyelashes. Leading him to snort.  "Genesis, on the other hand... I know what he uses."

[shystoryrebel]

Assignment is Half Complete

‘Hey Tahira ! I want to show you something. Where are you?’

‘Reaching to you in five minutes at Vishvavidyalaya metro station.’ She replied back.

‘Why? Are you planning for an outing?’

‘Ask, where WE are going, not where I am going. We are going to Shipra Mall, Ghaziabad and after that to the flat of Samir. I want you to be with me.’ I retorted angrily.

‘OK, fine, I am coming.’ And she cut the phone.

Within ten minutes Tahira seen coming out of the metro station. Fresh and Smiling.

‘To the flat of Samir?’ She asked me as I got into the car.

‘Yeah! We will just be there. We will complete the assignment.’ I said. It was strange to see Tahira behaving like a classic, girlfriend. She always tries to make me believe that she was unusually the one special Muslim girl, cannot allow anybody to touch her, unless the guy is ready to marry her. But what she didn’t know was that that the metropolitan guys of Delhi didn’t mind even to lick her butts to get her.

‘Assignments? I thought all your assignments were done with me on my place. She mocked.

Shut up you sweet bitch. I could not complete my assignments as you kept on fiddling me to quench your thirst. I know your drives and bendy morals. I love you and your tough morals. I was too kind and soft a friend to sleep with you when your dam morals permit.

She remained silent and didn’t exchange any word for the next few minutes.

‘You wanted me to be kind to you and show something to de-stress you.’ She said pointedly.

I twisted my face.

But I like her. She was very decent and graceful. Her parents were very hard-working and religious person. Her father spent long hours in his meat shop and the part time work at home after shop, meant every penny matters to Tahira. They give excellent ‘Sanskars’to their daughter.

‘Did you see my new ‘Gucci’ bag?’ Mom and dad gave me, the special gift they had promised me if I get 75% in exams.’

I drove on very coolly; I was not talking about anything else other than my very precious asset sitting by my side. She was pretty excited by the time we reached Shipra Mall Ghaziabd.

Shipra Mall is the most popular hand out in Delhi and NCR where an average income boy can take his BFF for enjoying happy moments. She was looking paragon of beauty in her lehengaand top. Her shining body, curvy hips, fleshy thighs, stilettos, sharp breasts, side brushed hairstyle et. Al., all were making stunning but very graceful.

A flat near Shipra Mall means upwards of one crore, but for Samir it was a minor amount. He had two or may be more, one where he lives with his parents and the other this one where he frequently visits with his friends and girl friends.

We finally reached the flat after taking a round of Shipra Mall and having some light refreshments at McD. Girls like Tahira have a sense of discomfort even in the safest hideout from the world. Bloody conservative kasba girl turned metro sex bomb.

‘Where is Samir?’ Asked Tahira.

‘He is coming after some time. He is doing some work at home but looking forward to meeting you.

‘Who? Me?’ She was taken by surprise.

‘Yes’ I said as she flicked out her expensive ‘Prada’ sun glasses and put them in the designer case. Perfect. The show was complete. No, it wasn’t. Next she took out much more expensive perfume ‘CK Eternity’ and sprayed. Bloody show off but mind in dark ages.

‘And why he wants to meet me?’ She asked again.

‘Why are you behaving in such a manner? I am not a guy who can hook up with any girl.’ I said. Such suspicion only spoils relationships and ensures failures…Tahira had been to rehab for her addictions and depressions but that was more than almost two years back. This is how Samir had first described Tahira but I always dream and imagine Tahira as lehenga-choli attired rock chic with eyes piercing every visible and non-visible part of her body. Such a beauty is enough to vibrate my entire existence.

‘Leave that discussion.’ ‘Sweetheart, how absolutely ravishing you look! Such beautiful colour, such an attractive body, ripples with sexy muscle!’

‘Ritik, I want to go to washroom’ said Tahira.

In India safe and clean loo is big problem but people are more worried about dal, onion, free electricity, water and other freebies. Bloody beggar mentality. Great socialism. She went inside the washroom to check whether she can use the loo without having to balance on a dirty floor.

She handed me over her fragranced stroll and hand bag. I can’t express the sensuous pleasure I got with her stroll and hand bag in my hand. I smelled the stroll many times before Tahira came with twisted mouth.

‘It is a tension in India to relieve in a loo’. Said Tahira, with a heavy sigh.

Entering the flat I hugged her tightly (feeling Tahira’s breasts) ‘A very nice pair you’ve got here, a wee glimpse of Helen’s two wee apples!’

Her touch in itself was enough to drive me in a state of erection. I tried to hide it but she noticed. A man! Man in me was ready to blast which drove me half mad…mystic power of the long hard road!

I had a good life in the college, not caring about etiquette or tidiness or washing, rich in bees and sheep and olive. And then I meet this kasba Muslim girl, the daughter of a conservative Muslim businessman from Aligarh.

‘Here she stands, Tahira’ I muttered to myself.

I had glimpsed at her for a few seconds for sure, my heart was jumping. Or maybe it had just stopped beating completely. I was choking. She created a weird pulsation in my bowels. I felt the blood flash down to the ends of my arteries and veins and then ready to burst out. I could sense my brain imploding. I was going to die or burst. Impossible to control!

Tahira was breathtakingly beautiful. Realistically beautiful is more apt for a decent and graceful girl like Tahira. All the things that I used to imagine or dream for a girlfriend had just come true. She was a dream. You can’t even dream of something so perfect. Even plastic surgeons can’t create such a mesmerizing Indian beauty. Her beauty was hard to describe. Her black eyes always cry for love.

I was driven mad by the mystic power of great Aphrodite!

‘Tahira won’t you at least lie down with me on the sofa? it’s been such a long time!’ I coaxed her.

‘Oh no – Mind you, but I’m not saying I don’t love you…Before marriage can’t!’ Said Tahira.

‘You please, you love me? Why won’t you then? I persisted.

‘What, you love cheat? I may be mother before marriage.’ Said she.

‘No – Tahira, this is very safe place. All right, I won’t do anything. Come out of the shell. Let’s lie down. I pleaded.

‘Don’t be silly Ritik. We can’t do this here and now.’ Said stubborn Tahira.

‘There is nothing wrong if we make love here.’ I reasoned.

But I know marriage with Tahira was very difficult, if not impossible. Although she succeeded in persuading her very uncompromising parents because they thought marrying their daughter with a Hindu Brahman boy and son of an IAS officer will enhance their status in the kasai (butcher) community but my parents were not ready to accept a meat eating daughter of a Muslim kasai as their daughter-in-law. Tahira also knew this bitter reality.

‘And you know than how I suppose to purify myself to again become a pure Muslim’ She frightfully said.

‘That’s easy. Take a bath with few drops of Holy Jumjum water in the bucket and recite few lines from Holy Quran.’ I argued.

‘Please don’t ask to violate my religion.’ She pleaded.

‘On God! Please forget about the religion.’ I said in a commanding manner.

And ultimately I pulled her on the bed.

I bended over her to kiss Tahira. She stared in shock but didn’t protest, just watched.

I kissed her again and again. She remained quiet for few minutes but soon started kissing me back.

I kissed her cheeks, her lips, her forehead, her nose, her eyes, her ears…..

She switched off the lights.

I hugged her tightly.

‘This is wrong.’ She resisted a little.

‘Nothing wrong, I love you.’ And my hand reached to open the knot of her choli.

‘No’, she said and tried to remove my hand.

I slid my hand inside her choli.

‘Please no…’ she said.

I closed her mouth with torrent of kisses. She struggled a little but after few futile nos she started to respond…matching me and outpacing me..

‘This isn’t right, Ritik.’ She puffed, but biting my cheek.

I removed her choli.

“Don’t, Ritik!’ she murmured but lifted her shoulder to get it off.

I removed my shirt. Now her warmth and softness dissolved in me.

She tried to stop me last time but I removed her ghahra and rest of her clothes and mine too.

‘I have a cousin, waiting to marry me,’ she reminded me.

‘I am a different girl, Ritik,’ she almost sobbed.

‘You are a very wonderful girl’ I said.

Now she was finally nude, lying on her back. On the bed her legs spread wide, her long black hair hanging, her head tilted back with her red – hot eyes closed. She wore no jewelry, no flowers in the hair and no make ups. She lost in a new world.

It was this woman whose dream I had from my childhood.

I had a special plan for our wedding night, I want to bed smelling of new wine, drying-racks, fleeces and affluence – and she of perfume, saffron, French kisses, spending, over eating and erotic rituals. Don’t get the idea she was mesmerizing.

I could not control myself for that day.

‘Ritik,’ she said,, and held me very close. Passion repressed for years were now uncontrollable. I bit and kissed her entire body and was lost inside her. We were one in each other.

I knew there will be no life without her. What happened was not lust but my real love. It is said men withdraw after sex but I was more closer to her and keep her with me forever.

‘You are amazing, Tahira. Every bit of you is amazing.’ ‘I can’t live without you, Tahira,’ I said.

‘Don’t say that, please,’ she said. ‘And complete your assignments.’

We both laughed.

‘My assignment is half complete now.’ ‘Hope to complete it soon.’ I said.

Not everything in life had a reason.

The truth is that I hardly knew me.

‘I am tired. I want to go home.’ She said and stood up.

I started the car. We hugged and sat in the car. I I dropped her at her house. The door was shut behind her. Her perfume lingered in the car and in my heart for ever.

I was getting late and was soon home for dinner. Ritik: heard his mother calling him from the kitchen. Now she started to sound more kind. Some marriage propels may be there. All talked a lot. They wanted my ‘Yes,’ but I had Tahira in my mind. They wanted me to get married, as soon as possible.

I opened my mouth about my plan to marry Tahira. They were all stunned. There was storm in my family. I had to fight my hostile and conservative parents to get their ‘Yes’ for this proposal. Every relative came in to break my relationship with Tahira. But my crying persuasions bore results positively and my parents were melted. I got positive vibes from all.

Not everything in life had a reason.

The truth was that I hardly knew me.

But Tahira’s parents had almost made up their mind for this marriage. It was strange to see how little care they have for their daughter. They even didn’t meet my parents. But they knew everything about me and my family.

‘Chauvinist minds’, ‘Bloody hypocrites.’ I murmured.

Busy in this confusion and stress of civilizations and religions, I could not contact Tahira.

She willed herself to not check her phone to see if he had replied. It had been about three days now. She hated that she was constantly checking his 'last seen at' status and yes, he had logged in just five minutes ago. Yet she couldn't stop herself. This sinking feeling to find absolutely no communication from him was becoming unbearable, almost torturous. And then, just as she sat down in her chair, her phone vibrated. With her heart thudding in her ear, she unlocked her phone and stared at the screen. Finally! It was his message. But when she opened it and read it, she nearly stopped breathing. She didn't know if he was joking or not. What was this?

Dear Tahira,

Its only when one is not there, one realizes her value. You were, you are and will always be mine and my most splendid possession. And when could be better than having your best friend as your buddy for life. Back then we were simply students…I was unsure and presses by useless consideration….scared may be. But today I am firm. Yes. My answer is yes.

You are my wife.

I am always there and will be, love you.

Yours only,

Ritik.

“Shri Ganeshay Namah”

Smt. & Shri Ram Krishan Aiyyar

Will be deeply honored by Your Gracious Presence,

To share with them the joy that fills their hearts on the splendid and festive

Celebrations at the WEDDING of their loving Son

Ritik Krishan Aiyyar

(S/o Sht. & Shri Ram Krishan Aiyyar)

With

Tahira Khan

(D/o Shri Shah Rukh Khan)

ON

30 th November 2015

Wedding Ceremony – 4.00 P.M.onwards

Reception & Dinner – 8.00 P.M. onwards

Venue: ‘RADHA – GOVIND – DHAM (Banquet Hall),

G.T.Karnal Road, Delhi-110036

R.S.V.P.

With Best Compliments From

All near and Dear of All near and Dear of

Aiyyar Family Khan Family

“For Yesterday’s Memories, Today’s Love and Tomorrow’s Dreams.”

Aiyyars & Khans

[themoneybuff-blog]

External Validation and Personal Finance

I participate in a couple of online book clubs with a number of old friends (and friends of friends) who have been spread all over the country. In these clubs, we read a book a month and discuss them in an online forum with the understanding that we are exploring ideas and not necessarily trying to defend what we personally believe, but trying to understand the ideas better. Often, the discussions go far astray from the book itself, which is great. Anyway, a question was recently posted to one of my book clubs that has left me thinking quite a bit lately: Imagine that you were in a science experiment where you were cut off from society for ten years. You lived in your house alone and there was some space outdoors to exercise, but you had no direct human interaction, social media, texting, anything like that. If you wanted something, you could write it down and it would be given to you, so theres no need to work. How would you spend your time? The discussion about this question ended up boiling down to this: What would you do in a world where you had zero access to external validation? So, lets be clear for a second: external validation means that your sense of pride is derived from the approval others show of your behavior. Your sense of feeling good about something you did comes from what other people think of it, not from what you think of the inherent worth of what you did. On the other hand, internal validation means that your sense of pride is derived from your own internal sense of having done the right thing. You feel good about yourself because you know you did the right thing. Most of us go through our lives guided by a mix of internal validation and external validation. What if there was no external validation? What if there was no one around to applaud when you did something that they deemed good, and no one around to frown when you did something that they deemed bad? What would you do? Most of the answers boiled down to a few common areas. People would become much more casual with things that are minor social no-nos, like picking their nose. People would dig into hobbies that they think their current friends and family would see as too nerdy. Several people liked the notion of no longer mowing the grass or cutting their hair. As the discussion went on, I came to a quick twofold realization. One, most of the things that people said theyd stop doing had some sort of financial cost associated with them. Getting their hair cut requires a visit to the salon or the barber and often additional hair care costs. Mowing the lawn requires a mower and gas and often additional landscaping costs. A lot of the regular social activities that people mentioned involved spending money or donating to a cause they didnt care about. At the same time, most of the things that people said theyd start doing had virtually no financial cost associated with them. Many of those things involved just being more comfortable in their own skin. Some of them involved nerdy hobbies, but they were often things like reading or watching more science fiction or playing roleplaying games (which you can do for free). I thought about my own list. Ive already chopped down a lot of external validation needs in my own life, but I recognize that there are still a number of things I do for external validation. I would definitely spend less time and money on lawn care. I would wear clothes until they were even more worn than I do, because some of my favorite clothes are well-worn shirts and hoodies and jeans which just reach a point where I dont feel like I should wear them in public. Truthfully, I often wonder why I do those things. At previous points in my life, I often considered what others thought of me when I bought cars and gadgets and clothes and I sought their validation after the purchase. I would often go along to do expensive things like golf outings and expensive dinners just to get that nod of approval from others. What did those things really amount to? Nothing. Most of the people who I was seeking the approval of in those days arent a part of my life or are only in the most peripheral part of my life. The truth is that if you do things for external validation, your happiness is reliant on the approval of others, which is out of your control. If they take away that validation, youre left with nothing. Furthermore, chasing that validation is often expensive, causing you to buy clothes and devices and other things just to get that burst of validation. Whats the path out of that conundrum? Rather than doing things just because it pleases someone else, do things that bring value to you and fill your life with people who happen to also value those things. Here are some strategies for doing just that. Listen to your heart in terms of what you want to do and how you want to spend your money and dont simply do those things to please others. Trust yourself with regards to what you should do with your time and with your money and what the right decision in a given situation is. Do the things that feel right to you, the things that leave you feeling good without someone else giving you that stamp of approval. Accentuate relationships that accept you for doing those things; minimize relationships that expect you to do things for their approval. Naturally, you cant always do this you do have to listen to your boss, for example, and you have a commitment to some relationships in your life. However, in most relationships in life, you have a choice as to whether to accentuate that relationship or spend your energy on others. Choose ones that are supportive of the things that seem right to you internally and not the ones that insist that you make choices that dont seem right to you internally just so you can gain their approval. Whenever youre about to spend money, ask yourself whether or not this purchase is really for you or whether the effect is just to please or impress others. If youre buying something just so that someone else is impressed, strongly consider skipping that purchase and using your money elsewhere. Seek internal validation in the things you do, not the things you buy. Take pride in the books you read because you were interested in them, not the books you bought. Take pride in the health of your body, not in whether others approve of how you dress and how you look. Take pride in your actions, not your purchases. Stick to the golden rule when interacting with others. Treat others as you would like to be treated. Not only does it feel like the right thing to do which triggers that internal validation but because it provides a much better internal guide for dealing with others rather than just seeking their validation. Just treat others as youd like to be treated and dont worry about how others validate you. For me, that principle guides me to good hygiene and functional clothes, but it keeps me from buying expensive clothes to impress others. It guides me toward being friendly toward others, but being myself and happy with my own interests. Whats the core lesson here? Dont fall into the trap of spending money to try to earn some fleeting external validation. It wont last, and it often wont work. Rather, strive to maximize internal validation through your actions and cultivate friends who are on board with those same things that you find yourself doing. Youll still find some external validation, but its often right in line with the things that cause internal validation, too, and thats a good life to live. Good luck! https://www.thesimpledollar.com/external-validation-and-personal-finance/

[dangan-happy]

[ENOSHIMA I'M BALD] To anyone:

So, I have this person that I live with, and he used to be very violent. I mean "he beat me up so hard I had trouble walking or I had bruises over my body" type of violent. Things were rough for about a year, until a few months ago he stopped this, and nowadays the most he does is manhandle or punch me when I annoy him too much (which I'm aware is not ideal, but it is progress).

And, while he's bettered himself and I'm glad for that, I'm still very wary of him, which he insists is unfair of me and that I'm just being vindictive. I talked about this with some people, and nobody really seems to understand how much it affected me to get beat up. They just say to get over it or that it's normal for some people to be violent and... Idk. I just want some confirmation that I'm not being unreasonable.

Fuck that! There’s no way that I can believe he’s changed, people that are violent don’t just change that easily.. Sure, call me suspicious or whatever, but I know damn well that it’s hard to believe someone who inflicted bruises on you to change just like that.

You’re damn right that’s not ideal! Punching you for “annoying” him is such a petty ass reason to do so, that’s still causing pain to you. Another thing, people telling you that you should be over it obviously have never gone through something like this. Getting beat is easily classified as abuse, for fucks sake, they can’t be that daft to ignore this will take you some time to get over..

You’e not being unreasonable, not at all! It’s not normal for people to be that violent, that’s…that’s abuse and it pisses me off that people you’ve discussed this with think that’s normal. I can’t even imagine what’s going on in their heads to say that.. There’s no way you’re being unreasonable, I’m 100% on your side about this anonymous, I would look into moving somewhere away from this person, still enduring pain they inflict on you isn’t ok. And you don’t deserve to go through something like that constantly.

--

O-Oh dear, anon! That truly isn’t ideal at all; that has ‘horrible’ written all over it! I can’t help but agree with my fellow, albeit sort of inappropriate-behaving student here; there’s just no way that he could’ve changed that much, and in such short amount of timing, too. I-I mean, there was even times where, as you stated: “He beat me up so hard I had trouble walking or I had bruises over my body". I understand what you’re saying in terms of how his decrease in hurting you is ‘progress’, but it’s still very much abuse, and as your teacher, I won’t stand by that! The fact that he still hits you to this day is still a big no-no!

Miu’s done a very good job with reassuring you and all, but I shall still safely reassure you that you’re not being unreasonable at all! Nuh-uh, not at all; I don’t care what those people say to you. They don’t know what they’re talking about. No matter if it’s just punching you when you “annoy him too much” or as violent as what you said it originally was in the beginning, abuse is still abuse, through and through. A-And abuse is one of the biggest no-nos out there! As your teacher, hearing about all of this worries me about your safety and mental well-being. I stand by what Miu said about looking into any potential options to move out of there. Even though this abuse has ‘toned down’, as you’ve sort of put it, any kind and any amount of abuse is still bound to really affect you both emotionally and mentally, and in the case of physical abuse, physically as well. On top of that, I would also suggest seeing if you can try to open up to someone about this. A close friend, a trusted teacher or school counselor, a trusted family member, just someone who you can turn to about this. If you feel like you might get tongue-tied when trying to tell them about this, write down everything you might want to tell them and then give them the notebook when you decide to tell them. Of course, I understand how difficult it is to open up to someone about something like abuse, but I’m still suggesting this for your sake. As your teacher, I want to do the very best that I can to help and support you!

Now please, do your best to stay as okay as you possibly can and continue to look out for yourself, anon! I may be a teacher, but I have this magic stick for a reason. If I have to, I will confront this bully and use my amazing magic stick to teach him a lesson! But for now, I shall continue to help and support you from afar unless you absolutely need me. Do your very best! Don’t lose to yourself! And don’t forget to save frequently!

-

Oh my goodness! Anon I'm so sorry to hear that you went through that! Being treated like that is never ok, and it sounds like you went through some of the worst of it!! Honestly, it says a lot about how kind you are that you were willing to keep him in your life this long.

Ok, no, it's really not ok for him to punch you over anything at all. Yes, that is an improvement, but he shouldn't be laying his hands on you at all! It's not unfair of you at all! If he's still hurting you, you have every right to get the heck away from him. I'm happy he's gotten better, but he still has a lot to do to ever earn your trust, and you aren't obligated to ever trust or like him. He made the choices he did, and you don't have to forgive. He hurt you badly, and expecting you to just move on is honestly really selfish of him.

You're not unreasonable in the least. I don't agree with what you've been told at all! People just shouldn't be violent to each other in that way. Honestly, I think you need to get away from that person. It's not healthy for you to be around him, and you're not safe either. He may have changed, but he hasn't changed all the way, or changed enough for you to be safe. Please try to get away from him if you can, this isn't normal. It's very dangerous and not ok, and you deserve so much better.