#(part 1 is “i cringe every time you say that name” BIG TALK FROM SOMEONE WHOSE NAME IS PHONETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE IN EGYPTIAN)

[lonepower]

time for part 2 of Pet Peeves That Bother Literally Only Me Personally And Would Actually Be An Active Hindrance To Cater To

[susandsnell]

1, 6, 24 😉 xx

eeee, thank you so much ditty!!!! you're an absolute gem, hope this solstice thursday is treating you well!! <3

choose violence ask game 🔥

1. the character everyone gets wrong? pick a Batman Rogue. any rogue. literally any of them, and they will be Flanderized to hell and back over one to two traits they may not even have canonically possessed for two to three decades. I readily and wholeheartedly admit that this is not entirely the fault of fandom, and is at least partly owing to the broader problem with having long-running comics universes, because there is such a huge variance in characterization (and quality of said characterization thanks to the overabundance of edgelord and bigoted comics/comic media writers), in the gravity of their actions and where they land on the moral spectrum, and even in motivation that it is nigh impossible to even say what getting said character 'right' means unless the person is talking about a specific iteration (ex.: someone writing fic or making headcanons about specifically Paul Dano's Riddler from The Batman 2022, who has a very particular voice/ethos/motive distinct from your other Riddlers, though there are core shared traits). But of this bunch, i'd have to say my poor Ivy gets it the worst. I'm truly glad she's evolved beyond being just another Temptress of Men Who Hates Them But Also Needs Their Validation Through Constant Sex (although done right she's still a great femme fatale wasting their time and catfishing them for eco-terrorism purposes), and of course as a canon queer character she means the world to me, but as is the case with every popular female character, she's either Holding The Braincell (aka everyone's mom, and I don't mean in the kink way), or Irredeemable. A lot of this does arise from how poor the execution of modern canon Harlivy has been because of respectability politics, but reducing her to Snarky Husky Voiced Plant Lady Rolling Her Eyes At Harley's Antics, making her have her shit way too together (she's always sent to Arkham!), making her the one-sided babysitter/healer of Harley's problems (and by extension, the problems of any other woman), making her a snarky queer auntie to the Batkids (vomit, it's as cringe as the rest of mainstream Batfam fanon), making her have way too much emotional intelligence to the point of counselling others (she's not even one of the psychologist rogues!), having her whole existence revolve around Harley....it's exhausting. (And again, unfortunately something the writers are fucking up in canon constantly, too.)

Fandom as a whole is allergic to women having flaws that impact the narrative concretely without demonizing them for it (when the dudes doing the same and worse are adored and worshipped for it), doubly so if she's BIPOC or queer (because again, double the respectability politics), so they flatten out those flaws and it's like, is she even a villain anymore with her own motivations and ethos, or is she a big tiddy witch gf from a paywalled phone app dating sim? Let her be as complex and angry and jagged and hypocritical as the other male rogues, my god!! (Sidenote that I'm not against retooling characters' designs/presentations/tactics anew entirely for a new universe iteration, especially if it refreshes the narrative, so long as they're interesting and true to some spirit of the character. In other words, masc Ivy's are fine and more than welcome lol.)

6. Which ship fans are the most annoying?

Oh, you really want me to swing my bat at the hornet's nest with this one, huh? While the cheat answer for this is "all of them if you spend enough time in any given ship fandom", I'm the most frequently exhausted by migratory Good Girl Fixing Bad Boy fandom. Fuck it, I'll name names with periods. The Zutar.a/Reyl.o/Darkli.na/Dae.myra et cetera fandom. The ships themselves, I can take or leave (though my main gripe is frequently their execution is just boring). There's no moral objections on my part, to be clear. I'd be hypocritical to take that tack considering my own tastes in markedly more fucked-up shit and like, hello, I cut my teeth in Phantom of the Opera fandom since I was 12 and love gothic romances, so like, glass houses. My issue comes in where these types without fail are consistently smug about the potent feminism inherent to ships they specifically in fanon interpret in the most boring, gender essentialist, wattpad daddy-dom-size-difference kink ho-hum ways imaginable because...it makes them horny, and woman horny about traditional gender roles equals feminism somehow. If it stopped there, I'd've never developed such an animosity, but no no. They make arguments about how much more feminist it is than the (often canon) hero/heroine ships because Feminism Is When Woman Is Treated Like Property By The Man I Find Attractive. They act like cishet romances, usually between two white characters, is the most marginalized thing imaginable and whinge that artists/studios/creators are "too cowardly" to "include romance" if it doesn't go canon in the way they like, as if more marginalized romance stories aren't fighting tooth and nail just to get off the ground. And on that note, the bigotry I have witnessed firsthand in these circles is just appalling; this is a fandom-wide issue and certainly not exclusive to any one shipping community, but the amount of times I have seen them come off as just frothing at the mouth to be homophobic should a slash shipper not bend the knee to the Great Potent Feminism of their ships, and the amount of times the mask as come off is just. Whew. It's okay to just be horny. It really is. One does not have to make a Social Issue Thing about it.

24. Topic that brings up the most rancid discourse? Weird corollary to the above question, and kind of an overbroad answer so I apologize, but Appropriate Amount Of Condonation Versus Condemnation of both characters, and works of fiction as a whole. I feel like the purity culture discourse has gotten so toxic it's gone completely 0 or 100 "if you watch something where something bad happens You Yourself Are Guilty Of This Thing" or "nothing fictional has any impact whatsoever", when my take is a more nuanced idea of media normalizing and reinforcing certain biases, but also, it's not real lmao. If the work itself espouses certain troubling viewpoints it's unsurprising if the audience takes that on (ex: Frank Miller perpetuating racism and misogyny through his writings), but people are such whining babies about so much as glimpsing any kind of Problematic Media (especially miserable if you're a horror fan) that I understand how the knee-jerk defensiveness arose. On the other hand, the baby got thrown out with the bathwater, including by opportunistic bigots who want to shut down any and all critical discussion of social issues present in or surrounding their interests, lest it Spoil Their Fun (and to silence people over whom they're privileged), to the point that any critique from a moral standpoint is immediately branded as Purity Culture with no regard to nuance or the context of the perspective of the person making the critique. So for example, you have people who throw hissy fits about Catra from She-Ra getting a redemption arc and you have people who thoughtfully point out how the writing of certain tropes in a given work perpetuate transmisogyny, and they're all thrown in the same basket and it's exhausting. No space for nuance, you're either Pro or Anti, and to quote Sarah Z's excellent video on this issue, I for one am a tax-paying adult woman.

[girlcalledwhatsername]

I posted 3,712 times in 2022

That's 602 more posts than 2021!

146 posts created (4%)

3,566 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@girlcalledwhatsername

@twice-as-many-stars

@zeawesomebirdie

@sleevesareforlosers

@anarchist-mariner

I tagged 1,334 of my posts in 2022

#art - 29 posts

#mcr - 24 posts

#undescribed - 18 posts

#ableism - 17 posts

#my chemical romance - 16 posts

#asks - 15 posts

#literature - 14 posts

#punk - 11 posts

#poetry - 10 posts

#loki - 10 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#and they are getting ready to uphold psychiatry and gaslight you into thinking you have to hand over your agency and autonomy to them ❤️

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I think comedy peaked with "My name... is James Acaster. Death comes for us all." why are people still trying

87 notes - Posted November 7, 2022

#4

People with miles long DNIs have quite some nerve interacting wily nily with my posts without checking and realising I fall in their dni category like, ten times over. Babe if you need such a huge list of people to not even look your way, one would think you would be more careful about not interacting with such people yourself yet here you are, putting horrid tags on my posts and subjecting me to rancid takes in the dni if I click further.

92 notes - Posted October 9, 2022

#3

It bothers me still that Andy Samberg and Jack Black amongst others fully participated in the Color the Spectrum campaign even though autistic adults who have followed these figures tried to bring to their attention the fact that fundraisers promoting ABA are ableist conversion-therapy funding bullshit that don't even involve any actual autistic people having any say in it. And it bothers me further that supposedly progressive people keep hyping up these figures and these seems little backlash that's big enough for them to even notice. This isn't to shame people who admire these celebrities, there's always going to be some "unproblematic white man" celebrity or another that the internet latches onto, and I'd go so far as to not even immediately assume anything other than ignorance on the part of these two men, but the fact is that the most influence that can be had is from their own fanbase.

I wish the people who post so much about Black and Samberg hyping them up all the time and bring up School of Rock in every other conversation would devote some time at least to join in those autistic voices that had tried to reach out to these very influential men. People like these who are seen as paragons of virtue while having a huge following could make a huge difference in ending the honestly torturous techniques that these ABA therapies are developing. Y'all talk a big game about holding people accountable but it only ever follows after someone already pisses you off and it's always about punishing people rather than trying to change their behaviour in a way that actually benefits marginalised folk.

Calling out ableism isn't just for vague old tweets from some small creator whom you found cringe, it's also for celebrities you actively like whose involvement in these movements has major impacts. Read what autistic people have said about ABA if you aren't aware, but surely if you believe these idols to be the good people that they are, they would be willing to learn to be better? Or do us autistics have to wait for them to do something cringe till you will get mad enough to bring it up?

272 notes - Posted September 2, 2022

#2

Me, hyping myself up to stop zoning out just long enough to get in bed: come on, come on, be brave, come on, we can do this, please, it has been thirty minutes and it's cold, look at the blanket it will be so nice there, come on,

273 notes - Posted January 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

🍂This user is always happy to see ao3 surpass their donation goals btw.🍂

This user is glad to see publically-funded archives of all kinds and especially those with a history of standing against censorship, especially fully volunteer-run ones with artists generously sharing their works for free, especially well organised ones that I respect the hell out of.

2,327 notes - Posted October 16, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[enhaheeseung]

Popcorn pt.2

Pairing: heeseung X fem reader!

Warnings: leaving them out cause I don’t want to spoil anything. But it does include mature themes, so if you’re underage, dni!

Note: sorry I kept you all waiting so long for part 2. But here it is. This has actually been written for awhile, I’m only just now posting it.

TMI: I was actually eating popcorn while writing this, lol

Masterlist

Popcorn pt.1🍿 *not proofread*

WC 10,000?

The next day you woke up and stretched, feeling an unfamiliar ache all over your lower body, and it clicked immediately. Everything from last night came flooding back to your memory.

You still couldn’t believe what you had done. Not cause you exactly regretted it, but for the fact that you let some random guy off the street take your virginity in a theater.

What’s wrong with me?

And you didn’t even catch his name. You could only imagine what a whore he must have thought you were.

Not to say all that mattered. It’s not like you’d see him again anyways,

but still.

You flailed in your sheets, cringing at yourself.

“Y/n, how could you be so foolish?” You talked to yourself in bed, replaying the events and trying to make sense of what happened. Before you knew it, it was already in the afternoon, but you couldn’t pull yourself out of bed.

This was definitely going to take some time to get over.

-

Heeseung had already gone about most of his day, and you were on his mind for a big part of it.

I wonder if she goes to the theater often? Maybe she lives nearby? Could I possibly get so lucky to see her again?

He thought.

Thank goodness no one could read his mind cause he knew he would sound like such a fool. Like seriously, what were the chances of seeing you again.

He couldn’t recall a time where he’s seen the same person more than once, except for school or stores, but that doesn’t really count.

He sighs, making his way home, not too focused on the road and only thinking about meeting you again, until he heard a loud horn beeping. He looked up immediately to see he was about to cross the street into oncoming traffic.

He stopped dead in his tracks clutching his beating heart. And breathing a sigh of relief.

Thankfully, no one was harmed in his act of carelessness, but he realized he should forget you and move on. Judging by the looks of it, it would only hurt him anyways.

-

It took you nearly two weeks to get over your little incident. Although, no matter how much time had passed, there was no way you could forget your first time.

Speaking of time, your period was oddly late. And that was unusual cause it was always the same every month.

And you being you, began to panic. What if? No. Did I let him cum inside of me?

I did?

I did.

Oh god. It can’t be. I’m too young to be a parent. I’m barely making it on my own as it is. And the absolute worst part is that I’m not even in contact with the father.

You didn’t notice when you started crying. “Okay, don’t worry, it’s gonna be okay. I might not even be pregnant. Maybe I’m just paranoid.” breathe, breathe.

Okay.

Well, that didn’t work.

There’s only one thing left to do. You grabbed your coat and ran to the nearest convenience store.

You found the section where they kept the pregnancy test and reached for one with your shaking hands. Just before you grabbed it, a voice startled you, causing the test to fall off the shelf.

You looked in the direction where the voice came from and…

No

fucking

way.

It was the guy from the theater, the man that took all your innocence.

“Hi” was all he said. He wanted to say so much more, but he didn’t know where to start, and he didn’t even know your name.

Umm, okay, why the fuck is he talking to me? He really could have pretended he didn’t see me and avoided this whole very awkward situation.

“Hey,” you replied quietly. He leaned down to pick up whatever it was that you had dropped, and his expression morphed. So many thoughts were running through his head.

Could it be mine? No, but she was a virgin when I met her, so is there already someone else?

“I see you’ve been busy” he tried to joke about it and ignore the racing of his heart.

You glared at him.

“I could say the same to you.”

He tilted his head in confusion.

“Huh?”

“It’s because of you why I’m even here.”

“So you mean.. you’re saying that I could have gotten you….” He trailed off.

“Yes, You idiot!” You started slapping his chest. Needless to say, it didn’t hurt him one bit.

He just chuckled and grabbed your wrist, holding you still. He looked down at you with a huge smile on his face.

“You’re so cute.”

“What!? Let go of me you fool. Do you even know what this means?”

“We’re gonna be parents!” he said, sounding a bit too excited for the current situation you were both in, but he couldn’t help it. He was just too happy that he found you again. The fact that you might be pregnant didn’t quite register in his brain yet.

“No genius, we’re too young for a baby. How are we going to pay for him or her? for christ's sake, we aren’t even a couple, and now the baby is gonna grow up with single parents,” you sighed.

If you weren’t so worried about possibly being pregnant, you would have noticed the way his face dropped into a frown and the soft tug as he let go of your wrist.

“What do you mean by single parents?”

“Do I have to spell everything out for you? It’s not like we’re dating, nor would I want to, and I don’t even know your name or anything about you.”

“You could have just asked instead of insulting me every two seconds. Hi, I’m heeseung” he extended his hand to shake yours.

You looked at his hand and ignored it.

“Good to know. I’m y/n, now let’s just get out of here” you paid for the test with the stares of many from all the commotion you stirred up, but you were too concerned about your future to care.

You walked home in silence. Your brain getting more exercise than your legs. As it was running a mile a minute.

He walked next to you with his head down, and his hands shoved into his pockets.

He had a lot of things to consider. If you were indeed pregnant, he’d have to drop out of school, get a job, and definitely change his laid back attitude and perspective about things.

Finally, you were inside your home. You led him to your bedroom and told him to wait outside.

“Are you sure?”

“Unless you want to come in.”

“Of course, I want to be there for you and our baby.”

“We don’t even know that for sure yet.”

“I have a feeling” he smiled, but he was actually so worried about it. He would be delighted if you were pregnant with his child, but, he was just so scared he wouldn’t be a good dad and wouldn’t be able to provide for his family, he didn’t have the best relationship with his parents, and he was afraid of repeating the same cycle.

“Ready?” Your question knocked him from his thoughts.

“As I’ll ever be” you grabbed his hand and gave it a small squeeze. You couldn’t even imagine how he must have been feeling.

You left to go take the test and came back soon, awaiting the results.

You both sat on your bed.

“I’m sorry. y/n, it’s all my fault,” he said, seeing how scared you looked.

“Hey, it’s not either of our faults, we both made a really stupid mistake, and now it’s just how we handle things moving forward.”

He didn’t like the fact that you saw it as a mistake. But he wasn’t going to get into all that right now.

The timer you set went off.

You both gave each other a look.

“Do you wanna look at the same time?”

He just nodded his head.

You flipped it around, and boom.

“Two lines, pregnant” just when he was going to cheer, he heard your loud sobs and instantly pulled you into a hug, trying to comfort you.

“It’s okay y/n. I’m going to do everything in my power to take care of you both, I promise.”

“Can I just be alone right now?”

He felt a pang in his chest, he wanted to see you again, but he could have never pictured this was how things would turn out. For some very stupid reason, he thought you would be just as excited to see him, but it was the total opposite.

“Okay,” he sighed and left the room quietly.

He waited and waited and waited some more. Hours had passed, and it was already dark outside.

He made his way to your bedroom door, knocking on it softly.

“Y/n, are you still in there? Could you open up?” He heard the lock click and backed away from the door a little.

“How are you doing?” He asks, hoping your mood is better than it was earlier.

“You should probably go. It’s late” you ignored his question.

“So? I don’t care. I just want to make sure you’re alright before I go.”

“Well, if you cared about me being alright, you would have never had sex with me in the first place.”

“Come on, don’t play that card on me. We both wanted it and didn’t think of the repercussions.”

He was right. But you didn’t want to hear that right now.

“Y/n, I’m going to be here for you, okay? Don’t worry about a thing. It’s not good for you or the baby if you’re stressed” he tried to rub your stomach, but you backed away from him.

“Fine, you can push me away now, but I’m going to have to be here at some point, we made the baby together, and we’re going to raise it together no matter our difference’s”

You watched him walk out the door, leaving you all alone.

That’s what you wanted, right?

-

Once he got home, he called his parents and already knew what the response was going to be, and it didn’t surprise him one bit. he knew he was in this all alone.

It didn’t take long before he dropped out of school and put in applications everywhere, even if it was miles away from where he lived.

He would do whatever he needed to make sure you were safe, and his baby was healthy.

-

You didn’t know what to do. He said he would take care of you, but for how long? Would he just get bored and leave? What could you do? There was no way you could work and carry the baby all alone.

You had no idea what kind of person he was, and it scared you to even get to know him better.

You rubbed your tummy and talked to the little human growing inside you.

“We’ll be fine, baby. Even if it’s just you and me,” you tried to reassure yourself.

-

Five months had gone by. Heeseung had been checking in on you every now and then, bringing you certain foods that you were craving, holding your hair when you would throw up, and helping you around your apartment. He would take break and come over to see you sometimes if he was having an extra bad day.

Today was one of those days. He called you in advance before coming over, as he always did. Most of the time, you didn’t want him coming over cause you didn’t want to get used to being with him, just for him to disappear after the baby was born.

He entered your room looking extremely tired. Well, he always looked tired, but today it was obvious.

He came and sat next to you on the bed with a half smile and dark circles under his eyes.

“So, how’s mommy doing today?” He traced his fingertips over your small bump.

“Feeling okay? You want anything in particular?”

You just shook your head as a no.

“I have a day off tomorrow, so we can go to the clinic and get an ultrasound to see the gender,” he spoke quietly.

“Okay,” this was how all the visits went, he would do all the talking, and you would reply with a few words.

“I’ll try to be over a little earlier than now” You nodded your head.

He pecked your forehead. Something he’s never done before, and you can’t say that you didn’t like it. It was actually quite nice. Lately, you could feel yourself falling for him day by day.

The big smile on his face when he could feel the baby kick, the soft touches he left on your belly as he hummed a tune to his baby.

And you grew particularly fond of seeing him coming over from work. You felt like you could get used to this. And seeing his face every day didn’t sound too bad at all. But you couldn’t get your hopes up, months were left till the due date, and it was his baby. After all, that’s probably the only reason he stayed.

To him, on the other hand, he wished you weren’t so passive about everything. All he wanted was a hello when he came over and maybe a how was your day?, but he got nothing.

Day by day, the stress was getting to him, and he had no one. The only thing that kept him going was the fact that he saw you every day, and he knew he was doing the right thing for his child.

He actually forgot he didn’t have a day off. Normally he did, but he picked up extra hours. His first job started at 4 in the morning and his second job at 1 till 9.

He’d just have to take an early leave, that’s all. He made time in between to see you on breaks, and during the hour he got between jobs, he’d sleep in the parking lot.

It wasn’t easy. But if it meant the two of his most beloved people in the world being happy, he’d do it all and so much more.

-

You had got ready to go to the clinic, and now you were just waiting for him.

You instantly started to worry, thinking he wouldn’t make it, but before you felt that bubble of anxiety build in your stomach, the front door flew open.

“Sorry, I’m late. The traffic was terrible today.”

“It’s fine. Are you ready to go?”

“More than ready. I’m so excited!” He kneeled down on the ground, talking to the baby inside your stomach. “Today is a big day. Today daddy gets to learn even more about you, I love you so much, and I haven’t even met you yet” he placed his hand over your stomach and kissed the back of it. He didn’t want to kiss your tummy in case it made you uncomfortable. At this point, he assumed it had been long enough to determine that you didn’t want anything to do with him.

He still tried, though.

He reached for your hand, praying you’d grab it, and he couldn’t hold his smile when your tiny fingers slid between his,

And just maybe, his assumption was a bit off.

“Let’s go” he opened the door for you and led you to the passenger seat to buckle you in, “is it too tight?” He asked, looking at you, but the proximity of his face was making it hard to think.

“F-fine, it’s fine” you cleared your throat once he made his way to the driver's side.

-

“We’re here” he parked in an empty space and helped you to the building.

You checked in at the desk and waited for your appointment. It wasn’t long before you were both led to an empty room.

You lay on the bed and waited for the results.

While the tech was scanning, she asked if heeseung was your husband, to which you immediately replied with a no.

Then she just had to keep prying and asked if he was your boyfriend, and this time heeseung spoke up before you got the chance.

“Yes, I’m her boyfriend” he knew she was hitting on him, so he used this as an opportunity to act like your boyfriend. He held your hand and stroked it with the back of his thumb. He hadn’t touched you often, or unless it was absolutely necessary, and it was killing him inside. He just wanted to be close with you.

“Well, you’re a very lucky girl,” she announced while looking at heeseung and winking at him. He didn’t even notice. He was too focused on you to pay attention to anything else.

You just rolled your eyes at her. If it had been any other setting, you probably wouldn’t have cared, but right now, she was getting on your very last nerve.

But who were you kidding? It could have been any setting, and it would have still made you jealous.

“Are we almost done?”

She didn’t pay any attention to you and just continued the exam.

Once you two were about to finish, heeseung already had an idea in mind.

“Could you do us a favor and put the pictures and results in an envelope? We would like to reveal it in a more private setting” he had already confirmed that it was okay with you. He wanted the reveal to be at your apartment, the same place you got the results of your pregnancy test.

“Of course”

-

And finally, your appointment was finished, but you were still fuming at that woman or thing rather. The audacity she has to flirt with the father of your child made you sick.

“Are you feeling okay?” He asked once you got inside the car. Noticing that you looked upset.

“I’m fine. I just can’t believe that”

“Believe what?”

“That disgusting witch trying to hit on you right in front of me, like have some kind of professionalism at least, how low do you have to be to flirt with a man in front of his baby and….” You trailed off, not knowing what he considered you.

“And the mother of his child,” he finished your statement for you.

“I guess people have nothing better to do these days” you folded your arms, still upset.

“She actually didn’t look half bad” he was trying to get a reaction out of you. If he was being honest, he didn’t even remember what she looked like.

“Are you serious right now?”

“What? It’s not like me and you are together. I’m a free man. I can look at whoever I want.”

“But I- just whatever” you felt a tiny ache in your heart,

“Are you jealous or something?”

“Why would I be? You said it yourself we’re not together,” you replied with an attitude.

“I’m kidding! I was focused on you the whole time” he put his hand on your knee, testing the waters. “And for your information, I wouldn’t mind one bit being together with you.”

You looked out the window to avoid his gaze, but he could see the slight smile forming on your face just before you turned your head away.

Finally, he felt like he was making some progress with you. And maybe if he played his cards right, you would be his sooner than later.

-

You made it home safely, and now it was the big moment to figure out the gender. Your heart was racing.

He took out the envelope, and before opening it, he led you to have a seat on your bed.

“Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” you responded.

“Okay,” he breathed out. And opened it.

“It’s a girl!” You squealed.

“Oh my god, we’re having a baby girl!” the amount of joy he felt in his heart was immeasurable. “Can I hug you?”

You’ve denied him so much. The least you could do was let him enjoy this moment.

You nodded your head and let him engulf you in the best hug you’ve ever felt. He was so warm, and his heartbeat was so comforting that you didn’t want to let him go.

He pulled back slightly to examine your face. He hoped you couldn’t hear the racing of his heart as he slowly inched his face closer to you, and just when his lips were about to touch yours the alarm on his watch had different plans, it read 12:30pm, and he had to leave soon so he wouldn’t be late for his other job.

He wanted to take it off his wrist and stomp on it till it broke, but he knew he had to go. He pulled away from you reluctantly and turned off the alarm.

“Damn, I’m sorry. I uhh I have to go now” he couldn’t believe he had the perfect opportunity, and it got away over a stupid fucking alarm, Heeseung, you stupid fucking idiot. He cursed himself out silently.

He turned around to leave, but you didn’t want him to. You felt that same ache in your heart.

“W-where are you going?”

he snapped his head in your direction, surprised that you were even asking.

“Oh, I have to go to work.”

“I thought you had a day off?”

“Well, I thought I did too, but now I’m off to the second one. I kinda forgot I picked up an extra day, but more work, more pay, right?” He tried to smile, but you could see just how forced it was.

“Oh, okay” you looked down and placed a hand on your belly.

“Why? Is there something I can get you before I leave?” You felt horrible after hearing what he just said. You had no idea he worked two jobs, no wonder he looked so tired, and every time he came over, he was fighting just to keep his eyes open.

And even though he was tired, he was still asking if you needed anything.

Your heart broke.

“No, I'm fine.”

“Okay, I’m off then, see you at, he looked down at his watch again, “around ten” he put his jacket and shoes on, right before he stepped out, you called him.

“Heeseung?”

“Yes?” He answered as you were saying his name, looking at you with a hopeful glint in his eyes.

You walked closer to him at the door.

“Have a good day at work” you gave him one final hug, and maybe deep down, hoping he would try to kiss you again.

“Thank you,” he sighed into your hair. And rubbed your bump. “Daddy will be back before you know it” he smiled at you one last time and closed the door.

You went back to bed feeling disappointed. Just before you sat down, the door swung open.

“Oh, did you forget something?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I did” he walked closer to you and closed any distance between you and him. There was no way he was going to leave without kissing you.

He kissed you with so much passion that it made you feel light headed. And if you could have stopped time then and there, you wouldn’t have thought twice about it.

You kissed him back with hopes that he could feel just an ounce of what he made you feel.

He put his hands on your waist and deepened the kiss. Your hands automatically found themselves in his hair, kissing him with a bit more force than before.

He groaned when you sucked on his lip. He backed you up to the foot of the bed and laid you down softly while hovering over you.

He attached his lips to your neck and gradually made his way higher, swiping his tongue over your ear and sucking on it lightly.

“Heeseung,” you moaned out, rubbing yourself against his thigh that was rested between your legs.

“Wait,” he propped himself up on his hands.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, a little worried that he didn’t want you after all.

“I’m so sorry” he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against yours, sighing onto your lips. “I have to go,” he told you regretfully.

You cupped his face in your hands.

“Hey, it’s okay. You’ll be coming back, right?”

“Of course, I’ll come back as soon as I can, I promise” he kissed your forehead and got off of your bed.

“I don’t want to go,” he whined while jumping up and down slightly, Holding your hand in his.

“The quicker you leave, the quicker you come back, right?”

“Right,” he smiled at you and kissed your lips one last time “bye, y/n”

“Bye, heeseung,” you waved and blew him a kiss. He caught it and walked out the door just moments later.

Your heart was racing, your body was on fire, and your mind was foggy, did you just? Did he just? Were we about to?

Oh my god.

You plopped down on your pillow.

He felt just as good as you remember, if not better, you wanted to punch yourself for not opening up to him sooner, not just for the prospect of having sex, but he was just so sweet and caring and lovable.

You wished you could get that time back, but you couldn’t. From now on, you were going to treat him the way he deserves to be.

-

He thought about you the whole time he was at work, he touched his lips and smiled to himself, thinking about how perfect you looked laying down on your back and those cute but yet so seductive moans you let out.

He quickly shook his head and focused. He couldn’t allow himself to have those kinds of thoughts in a work environment.

But it was harder than he expected. The image of you was stained in his memory.

He couldn’t believe you were finally reciprocating his feelings.

His day seemed to go by quicker than usual, and before he knew it, he was already back on his way to see his girls.

-

“Hey, I got back as fast as I could” he quickly covered his mouth when he saw you fast asleep, with your hand resting on your exposed tummy, he pulled out his phone and snapped a few pictures, actually more than just a few, but that would be his little secret.

He walked closer and pecked your forehead, stroking your cheek with his thumb to wake you up.

You stirred in your sleep, and your eyes fluttered open.

“Hi,” he removed his hand from your face.

“You’re already here?”

“Already? It’s been nearly ten hours.”

Your eyes widen in shock.

“I must have overslept. I'm sorry.”

“It’s fine. I’m sure you needed it, and the baby too. I bought you dinner. I didn’t know what you liked, so I just guessed.”

You looked in the bag after he handed it to you, “It’s my favorite!“ you said in excitement.

“Really? I guess I did good then” he was all smiles watching you enjoy your food.

“You always do good, and speaking of good, how was your day at work?”

He still couldn’t believe you were actually starting a conversation with him.

“It was great!” He contemplated his next words cause he didn’t exactly know where he stood, but screw it. “It was the best day I’ve ever had, thanks to you.”

You nearly choked on your food.

“M-me? How?”

“Just you in general, you make me so happy” surely, the words left his mouth so casually from lack of sleep, but he meant each and every last one of them.

To say that you were squealing inside like a school girl would be an absolute understatement.

“D-did you eat yet?” You tried to avoid having this conversation.

“I ate at work, but I guess I’m still a little hungry.”

“Here, you can have some of mine.”

“No, no, no, that’s for you and the baby. Besides, I think I’m craving for something sweet” he licked his lips while looking at you.

“Well, I don’t know what to tell you cause the fridge and pantry are empty” he inched closer to you on the bed.

“Well, It’s not exactly something that gets stored,” he leaned in close to your ear, “as a matter of fact, it’s something that’s often served in bed or, in our case, maybe even a theater,” he licked the shell of your ear.

You gulped.

“O-oh, so you mean, you want breakfast in bed?”

“Come on, sweetheart. I know you’re not that dense.”

The nickname made your heart do a flip.

“And what if I am?” You tried to remain calm.

“Then, it will be my pleasure to show you exactly what I mean” he grabbed your now empty plate and set it aside, making sure there would be no interruptions.

“Just lay back, and I’ll do all the work” he motioned for you to raise your hips, and you gladly obeyed. He pulled down your shorts and underwear. Noticing the huge wet patch on the crotch area. “See? I knew you weren’t that oblivious”

“Or it just doesn’t take that much for you to make me wet.”

“Is that so?” he wasted no time kneading on the flesh of your thighs and kissing them everywhere he could touch with his lips.

He just started, but there was only so much longer he could wait to taste you, and your smell mixed with his slow movements was making him grow impatient. He spread your legs open and looked at you on full display, not believing that you were all his.

He all but pushed his face against your heat, flicking his tongue on your clit a few times before licking long stripes in between your folds. The moans that left your lips made him even harder than he already was if that was possible at this point. He was so hard that it almost hurt.

“Tastes so good, sweetheart” he stuck his tongue in your hole, licking the most sensitive spot on your opening. Your back arched off the bed, and you gripped the sheets.

His nose brushed along your clit softly, adding a tingling sensation in the pit of your stomach.

He retracted his tongue from your hole and rubbed his face all over your pussy. completely covering his face in your wetness.

“Fuck, heeseung, god, that feels so good” it’s a wonder how you hadn’t already cum all over his face.

“Mmm, You like that?”

“So so much, so good” you bucked your hips into his face, almost riding it at this point.

He didn’t even try to hold you still. he found it so hot, how you used his face for your own pleasure.

Just when you were about to cum he stopped.

“Are you sure you want this?” He asked you.

“Couldn’t be more sure.”

He unbuttoned his dress shirt and exposed his bare chest. You noticed how his muscles flexed with just the smallest of movements.

His hands traveled down to his belt, quickly undoing it, and last but not least, he pulled his slacks off along with his underwear.

You had seen him before only in the dimly lit theater, but up close and with the light coming from your bedside lamp, he looked absolutely perfect. It was a sight you’d have to see to believe, and lucky for you, no one else would.

He sat on his knees at the foot of the bed with his hard, leaking cock in desperate need of attention, but he made sure to take his time with you and kiss every inch of your skin, from your feet to your visible stretch marks on your stomach and lastly his favorite. Your beautiful lips.

“Heeseung,” you moaned into his mouth, kissing and exchanging each other’s saliva.

“Yes, sweetheart?” He pulled your shirt over your head and kissed all over your chest, making sure not a single millimeter of your body was left untouched by him.

“I want you now.”

“Is that right? Cause I was thinking the same thing” he pushed your knees up a little and held his aching cock at your entrance.

“Are you sure I’m what you want? Do you want me to be here for you? To be a father to our baby?”

“Yes, you’re the only one I want. I couldn’t ask for anyone better,” and maybe if you weren’t too caught up in the pleasure he was giving you, you might have noticed just that small hint of doubt in the back of your mind.

“Me neither” he pushed his tip in nice and slow, breathing heavily from the tightness of your pussy.

He leveled his head with yours, whispering words of encouragement and affection in your ear.

You felt tears prick in your eyes from the stretch and sensitivity.

“Heeseung, I-I don’t think I can take it,” you huffed out a breath, feeling him halt all his movements.

“Yes, you can, baby, you’ve done it before,” he inched back and forth as slowly as possible. Letting you get used to his size. “Just breathe, remember?” You started to relax a little bit. He eased in a bit further and further till he was all the way in.

“See? I told you, sweetheart,” he licked up and down your jawline while holding your neck firmly in his hand. “You’re so warm and tight. It feels so fucking good.” He groaned in your ear, pulling his dick out halfway, then pushing it back in, thrusting his hips into you again and again.

“Heeseung, fuck, your cock feels good.”

“Mhm, he moaned softly in your ear. He was a sucker for praise and even more so in the bedroom. “You like that? I know you do.”

He looked down to where he was thrusting in and out of you.

“Look at you. Your pussy is just swallowing my cock”

“You’re so big. And s-so deep, your cock is so amazing” he was hitting all the right spots that made you tick.

“If you keep talking to me like that, I won’t be able to hold it much longer.”

You tangled your hands in his hair.

“Then, don’t, don’t hold back, fill me up again with your cum”

“Shit, is that what you want? Want me to give you another baby? I can give you all of my babies, sweetheart,” he smirked, feeling how you tightened around him after the mention of having another baby.

“Fuck yes, heeseung give me all of your kids” you clawed at his back, sure to leave marks behind in the morning.

He caressed your swollen bud to bring you to your climax even quicker.

“Harder, heeseung, please fuck me harder.”

“Oh god,” he felt himself twitch, and a few hard deep thrusts later, you were clenching on his cock nonstop. The sensitivity was overwhelming as you reached your high.

Not even a second later and he was filling you to the brim with his seed, spurt after spurt coated your pulsating walls as he stilled inside you.

He captured your lips in a messy heated kiss. It wasn’t his intention, but the pleasure he felt was just too intense, and he was in such a vulnerable state. He’s never felt this close to anyone ever. His next words came out almost unknowingly.

“I love you y/n” he tiredly thrusts his hips into you, making sure to fill you up with everything he had to give. “I love you so much” he kissed your temple as you held him even tighter, wanting him to be closer than he already was.

You were shocked when you heard the words fall from his lips. It scared you to death to say it back.

The room fell silent. Only the sounds of his breath returning back to normal could be heard.

He was waiting, waiting for you to say it back.

But you never did, and his heart broke into a million little pieces.

He pecked your lips one last time before pulling out of you hesitantly. He put his underwear on and searched for the rest of his clothes. You sat there silently watching him.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and buttoned his shirt back as slow as possible, one button at a time.

He locked the buckle to his belt, dragging out every last move he made, hoping you would say it back.

“Where are you going?” Your voice cracked as you tried to speak.

“Home,” he answered plainly, trying to stop his voice from quivering but failed.

“It’s really late. Why don’t you spend the night and go back in the morning?”

“I don’t have any clothes here, and I’d have to leave early to go home and then to work, so it’s best I leave now” he walked over to you on the bed and stroked your stomach like he always did before he left. “daddy will be back before you know it little one,” he said those same words every time he left, for him he was making a promise to you and the baby, that he would always come back. But this time, it was just a bit harder for him to feel like keeping that promise.

“Heeseung, please stay” you grabbed his hand.”

“Why should I?”

Even though you were scared, you couldn’t think of anyone else you’d rather try with. He was the father of your child, and he did everything he said he would. If you had to let your guard down for anyone, he was definitely that person.

“Because I love you too” he made eye contact with you for the first time since he got out of your bed.

“Are you sure? Cause it just doesn’t seem that way.”

“I’m sure. I’m just scared. I keep having these thoughts of you leaving us for someone else or just disappearing with the baby is born. I just didn’t want to get my hopes up, but it was impossible not to fall in love with you. When you took care of me and our baby, it broke my heart to see how much you’ve gone through for us, and I’m sorry for shutting you out for so long. I’m ashamed of the way I treated you, But now I just want to give you the love you deserve.”

He grabbed your hand and cupped your cheek, making you look up at him.

“Look at me. I’m not going anywhere. I promise you two girls are my world. There’s nothing I’d trade you for. I would never leave you. And don’t be ashamed I’d be scared if I were you too. Heck, you have no idea how worried I was in the beginning. My parents don’t support me. I had to drop out of school and get a job, but I made it work cause I wanted us to work. I didn’t tell you any of this cause I didn’t want to stress you out even more than you already were, I felt terrible that I couldn’t be there for you, but I made a promise to myself that I’d do any and everything in my power to keep you both safe and healthy. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. There’s no need to worry cause you’ll always have me.”

He wiped the tears that had run down your cheek.

“Heeseung, thank you for everything. I don’t know where I’d be without you. And I love you so much.”

You pulled him into a hug.

“I love you so much too.”

“So, are you staying?” You dried up the stray tears on his cheek.

“Well, I don’t know. You made me get all dressed up again.”

You slapped his chest.

“Okay, maybe I could spend the night” he smiled at you pecking your lips sweetly. “But I really don’t have any spare clothes, and these are all sweaty from work,” he scrunched up his nose.

“Who said you needed any clothes?”

“Okay, I guess I’ll just sleep in my underwear then” he got up and undressed himself again.

“Who said anything about sleep?”

“O-oh, oh,” and for the first time, you saw him blush when he realized what you meant.

“Don’t get all shy on me now. A couple of minutes ago, you were promising me more babies, and now you’re backing down?”

“Who said anything about backing down?” He cocked his eyebrow.

“That’s more like it, now stop running your mouth and fuck me.”

“Y/n! Not in front of our baby.”

“Sorry, you rolled your eyes “get over here and make love to me, better?”

“Much better”

neither of you had sex since you found out the news of being pregnant. And let’s just say you made up for all the lost time. In just one night.

-

You woke up the next day to heeseung getting dressed. This is what you dreaded the most, watching him leave. Every time he left, it felt like your heart was breaking.

“Oh, hi sweetheart, now that you’re awake, I can say bye” he laid next to you in bed.

“I hate when you leave” now that you revealed your feelings for him you could finally say what was on your mind.

“Me too. But when the baby gets here, we will have more time together” he rubbed your stomach.

“I hope so” you rested your hand over his.

“I know so, I’m getting a raise soon, and I’ve already saved up about twenty thousand dollars so far, and when our little girl finally gets here, I’ll have almost double that”

“Come again?”

“Sweetheart, let’s just say I’ve been working a lot,” he laughed.

“I wish I could help you. I’m just laid up in bed doing nothing,” you sighed.

“I don’t want to hear such nonsense from you ever again” his voice was stern. “You call giving me the greatest gift nothing? Besides, you’re the prettiest when you lay on your back. easy and accessible” he winked at you.

“Not in front of our baby,” you mimicked his tone.

“Okay, okay, well, mommy and baby, daddy has to go now, oh and I made you breakfast. I didn’t know what you liked, so there’s coffee in the pot and juice in the fridge” he put on his suit jacket and shoes.

“And you?”

“I eat at work, remember?” Even though he really didn’t, he was more stressed than he was letting on, but he kept it to himself cause he didn't want you to worry.

“Right” he kissed your forehead and tummy one last time.

“But thank you for asking, sweetheart” he was halfway out of the door before he ran back inside and kissed you once last time. “Bye, I love you.”

“I love you more, now go before you’re late” you almost had to push him off of you.

For the first time since he started coming over, it wasn’t all too bad seeing him leave cause you knew he was coming back.

“Let's go eat breakfast, little one.”

-

The rest of your pregnancy was going by in the blink of an eye. Heeseung was there with you every step of the way, just like he promised. However, you didn’t like seeing him come over every day looking completely exhausted.

He kept reassuring you that he was fine, but you could tell he wasn’t.

“Babe? Are you sure you’re doing okay?”

He was just staring off into space, not paying attention to the world around him.

“Babe? Baby? Heeseung?!” You shook his body a little.

“What? What is it? What’s wrong?” He looked at you with a worried look on his face.

“I asked if you’re okay.”

“I already told you, for the last time, I’m fine. I don’t know why you have to keep bothering me” he got out of bed. “Can you not tell that I’m fine?”

You couldn’t. Dark eye bags, pale skin, he wasn’t that big, to begin with, but even his weight had dropped significantly, and he was always irritated.

“Yeah, perfectly fine, I won’t bother you anymore.” you laid down and ignored him.

He instantly regretted his reaction towards you.

“Baby, please don’t ignore me, you’re right.” He sighed and kneeled down next to the bed, “I’m sorry, I just don’t want you to worry about me. You’re the main focus right now and you could never be a bother to me.”

“I already know how you feel, but how am I not supposed to be worried about you?”

“You must really love me, don’t you?”

“So much” a few tears rolled down your cheeks.

“Aww, don’t cry. I hate it when you cry. I promise I’ll do better from now on, and you know I never break my promises, now stop crying, sweetheart, I’m gonna be okay. we’re gonna be okay.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“Pinky promise,” he intertwined his pinky with yours, “now sleep. You look like you're about to pass out” you wiped the rest of your tears.

“I know you’re a mom, but you’re not my mom so you can’t tell me what to do.”

“Don’t act like a child and I won’t.”

“I- you’re right,” he sighed in defeat, “good night, sweetheart, I love you.”

“I love you more,” and if he wasn’t so tired, he would have made you say it over and over again.

-

You woke up in the middle of the night. You felt a wet patch and liquid flowing out of you when you sat up. And it finally came to you. Your water had broke.

You instantly woke heeseung up from his sleep.

“What is it sweetheart?” He rubbed his eyes, looking at you.

“My water just broke,” you said a little too calmly for his liking.

“Your what?! We have to go now! Get up and go to the car! He stopped and looked at you “Wait! Don’t go to the car. I’ll take you to the car. Let me grab the bags.”

He threw the blankets off his body and jumped out of bed, grabbing all the bags he had packed for the hospital in case you went into labor soon.

“Where are the keys? He mutters to himself, patting down his pockets.

“On the nightstand, babe” you just sat there and watched him go through his little crisis.

“Thank you, sweetheart” he snatched them up loaded the car, and drove off. He pulled out his phone and called you, “honey, am I forgetting something? Cause I feel like I’m forgetting something.”

You moved the phone away from your ear so he wouldn’t hear you laughing. “Umm, I think so. There should be something or someone rather, in the passenger seat.”

He felt like a complete idiot. How could he forget the reason he was leaving to begin with, “oh my god! Baby, I’m so sorry. I’m coming back inside to get you.” You ended the call and held your stomach laughing hysterically.

He came rushing back into the bedroom.

“This is no laughing matter, sweetheart. You’re about to go into labor. We have to go now!”

“Heeseung, it’s not that serious. It’s not like I’m in pain or anything.”

“You’re not?” He picked you up and carried you to the car with your hands wrapped around his neck.

“No, at least not yet.”

“We should still leave. That baby could pop out any minute” he scratched the back of his neck, feeling stupid for his erratic behavior.

Luckily, it was a pretty short drive to the hospital. He was a little more coordinated this time. He took you inside and got you checked into a room, and left to grab your bags.

Now it was just the waiting game.

Soon enough, you began feeling intense contractions. Heeseung stayed by your side the whole time, holding your hand, he wanted to do something to make your pain go away, but he knew he couldn’t.

With a few more contractions, pushes, and heavy breaths featuring a river full of heeseung’s tears, your baby girl was finally here.

“Can I hold her?” Heeseung asked in a voice barely above a whisper. After they cut the umbilical cord, He reached out to grab her tiny body. As soon as she was in his arms, she started crying. “Aww, it’s okay baby, it’s me, it’s daddy” her cries died down as she began sucking on her thumb.

He looked over at you to see you already staring at him “you did it!” he kissed your forehead.

“We did it” you smile at him feeling exhausted.

“Wanna go say hi to mommy?” He placed her in your hands gently. Sitting in a chair next to your bed.

“She has your eyes, so shiny and beautiful.”

“She does, doesn’t she?” He said while looking fondly at the both of you.

“So, what are we going to name her?”

“I was thinking crystal,” he said shyly.

“Why crystal?

“Never mind. It’s dumb. What did you have in mind?”

“Babe, come on, I’m sure it’s not dumb, go ahead and tell me.”

“It’s just crystals are known for healing and creating a positive atmosphere, so I just thought that would be the perfect name for her,” he tells you.

“I think that crystal is a beautiful name.”

“You think so?”’

You nodded, watching her sucking on her little thumb, “crystal it is,” you looked up at heeseung, watching his lips curve up into that perfect smile of his.

You spent the night in the hospital just to make sure everything was fine. The next day you both went home and got everything set up for your newborn. Well, heeseung did anyways, insisting that you should rest more.

Later that night, heeseung laid down with you on the bed, holding baby crystal in his arms. He couldn’t keep his hands off her.

“You’re hogging her all to yourself, babe,” you pouted.

“Hogging? Do you even want to go there with me right now? You literally carried her for almost nine months, and you’re talking about hogging, baby, I hate to tell you this, but your mommy has some loose screws,” he said in a cute voice rubbing his nose on her tiny face.

“I do not,” you gasped, pretending to be offended.

“Fine, you can take her.”

He pulled out his phone to snap some pictures of you two.

“The two most beautiful girls in the whole world” he set the picture as his Lock Screen and Home Screen right after he took it.

“And they just so happened to be accompanied by the most handsome man in the world.”

“I’d say sexy, but I suppose handsome is good for now.”

“Never mind, I take it back.”

“Nope. No take backs” he kissed your cheek.

“Actually, I have something even better.”

“Hmm?” He looked at you with curious eyes.

“To me, you’re the most handsomest sexiest, hottest lovable person on earth.”

“Stop it,” he whined.

“And with the biggest,” he quickly covered your mouth.

“Y/n! what’s the matter with you!?” He was shocked that you were even about to say something like that. Well, outside of being intimate anyways.

“What? I was just going to say with the biggest heart ever. Why? What were you thinking of? Wait, don’t tell me," he twiddle his thumbs while blushing, “wow, you really are a kinky, aren’t you?”

“I’m not” he buried his face in his pillow. You decided that was enough teasing for the night.

-

5 years had already passed since you had your little one. And just like heeseung promised, he spent more time with the both of you. He was there for crystals first words, her first steps, and even rubbed it in your face when she would pick him over you.

Everything was perfect.

Until the past few months, he always came home late. Oh yeah, he moved in with you shortly after crystal was born cause of the convenience of it. Plus, it was closer to his job.

But something just wasn’t sitting right with you, he always said he would work late, but one time you called his job cause you were feeling particularly anxious that day, and they said he had already left. You really wanted to trust him, but how could you when he was obviously lying to you.

Some nights you’d stay up late waiting for him, others sleeping on the couch or crying yourself to sleep.

“Mommy, wheres daddy?” Crystal approached you on the couch tugging at your shirt.

“Daddy is just working late, that’s all” you lied to her just like he lied to you, but what could you tell her? You didn’t even know where he was. Maybe he just got tired of you both. Those same doubts from when you were first pregnant came flooding your mind just like they did years ago.

“but I want daddy to tuck me in,” she pouted.

“I know, baby, I’m sure he’ll be here soon,” you decided to call him.

“Babe?”

“Talk to me, sweetheart.”

“Crystal wants you to tuck her in. Where are you?”

You could hear him sigh over the line.

“Honey, I’m really busy with work, but I’ll be over as soon as possible” he was already making his way to the car while he was on the phone.

“Okay, see you soon?”

“Yes, you will, baby. Bye, I love you more than words can even describe”

You couldn’t help but chuckle.

“I love you more” you hung up the call, hoping he’d come over.

“Is daddy coming?

“He’s on his way, baby” you distracted her with her favorite toys, and soon enough, heeseung arrived.

“Daddy!” Crystal ran to him, immediately hugging his leg.

“There she is! Look at you. You’re getting so big” he picked her up in his arms. “And heavy,” he groaned.

“Did you miss daddy?” She nodded her head as a yes. “I missed you more. Does mommy talk about me when I’m gone?”

“No, mommy just cries a lot” you avoided eye contact with him.

He looked at you with furrowed eyebrows. He was definitely going to talk to you later, but not in front of crystal.

“Come on, daddy’s gonna tuck you in” he exited the room and came back a while later, somehow tucking in turned into reading a whole bedtime story, but he didn’t mind it one bit.

As soon as you heard the door to her room shut, you started to panic.

What am i going to tell him?

“So, sweetheart, what is this I hear about you crying?”

“I just miss you, that’s all” how could you be mad at him for lying, and you were lying to him yourself.

“Honey, you can’t really lie to me, you know. I’ve known you for six years. Just tell me what’s on your mind.”

“Please, don’t hate me” he looked at you with confusion written on his face.

“How could I ever hate you? Just tell me what’s wrong, yeah?”

“I'm worried that there’s someone else. I mean, you come home late and barely answer my calls. I called your job one time when you were late, and they said you weren’t there.”

“So you don’t trust me anymore? What is a relationship without trust?”

You just looked down, feeling guilty.

“I can’t believe you’d think so low of me” he wanted to tell you the truth so bad, but he couldn’t let you on to what he’s been planning.

“It’s not you. I think low of, I just figured maybe you’re bored of me, I don’t look the way I used to, and now that crystal is old enough to do things on her own, I just thought maybe you’d leave”

“Y/n, you’re breaking my heart right now. How could I ever get bored of you? You make me so happy. Just seeing you both every day makes my heart feel so content, and watching you being such a good mother makes me want to give you the world cause you deserve it and so much more and don’t even get me started on your appearance.

He grabbed your hand and made you stand up, “yep, that’s my girl, look at you” he gripped your waist, trailing his hands up and down your sides. He kissed your shoulder and reached in front of you, rubbing your stomach and making his way towards your breast’s, squeezing them softly.

He pressed his body into your backside, and you could feel his hard on.

“I know you feel that,” he whispered in your ear, and you felt shivers run down your spine. “Even after all these years, I could still cum in my pants at the mere sight of you,” he took a deep breath while rubbing himself against you.

“Heeseung,” you moaned.

“Sweetheart, let’s have another, please?”

You knew how bad he’s been wanting another baby, and you really wanted to give him one.

You turned around and pressed your lips against his giving him the green light.

“Jump” you jumped wrapping your legs around his waist.

Just when he was about to take you to the bedroom, crystal came out of her room, rubbing her tired eyes.

“Daddy, what are you doing to mommy?” He set you back on the ground gently.

He stared at you and panicked. His whole face flushed red while he stammered, trying to make up an excuse.

“You see, baby, when a man loves a-“ you turned to him, eyes nearly bulging out of your head. Was he really going to have “the talk” with a 5 year old.?

“What are you doing?” You whispered shouted.

“I don’t know. Do you have a better idea?”

“Baby, he was just tucking mommy in. You know how daddy tucks you in sometimes?” She nodded her tiny head.

You gave heeseung the eye for him to play along.

“Yup, I was just tucking mommy in,”

“Why is daddy turning red? And why is daddy acting weird?”

You turned around to look at him smirking.

He shook his head, signaling you not to.

“Well, baby, daddy is just weird.”

his jaw was practically on the ground, but he knew it was payback for all the times he teased you.

“Come on, baby, back to bed” you carried her in your arms and tucked her back in.

“How am I weird?” He asked when you got back from her room.

“You’re not. But it’s just so easy to tease you.”

“Well, I guess we’re even now.”

“I'd say so, now let’s finish what you started” you kissed him on the lips and led him to the bedroom.

It wasn’t even minutes before you were both completely naked and roaming all over each other’s bodies.

“Do you remember how we did it when we first met?”

“I actually don’t” you lied to get a reaction from him.

“O-oh, umm, never mind then,” and after all these years of being with him, you could tell whenever he lowered his tone just in the slightest, he was upset about something.

He gave you the perfect reaction. So why not tease him more?

“If it was special, I might have remembered” you sat on top of him, tracing his pecs with your index finger.

“It wasn’t special to you?” The sadness in his tone even more evident.

You sunk down on his cock, taking him by surprise. A loud gasp escaping him.

“Of course, I remember. How could I forget my first time, especially with someone as perfect as you.”

“So you think you’re funny n-now?” He moaned feeling feeling his tip in the deepest part of you.

His head tipped back, and you zeroed in on his neck, sucking on it and leaving dark marks everywhere your lips touched.

“I thought so,” you continued sucking on his neck down to his shoulders.

“Please just fuck me already,” he mewled out. It had been just a bit too long since he last had you, even though it hadn’t been a week yet.

“I’ve got you, baby” you rested your hands on his chest, starting out slowly, but it was just too slow for him.

“Sweetheart, you know I love taking my time with you. but tonight, I really just can’t wait.”

You lifted yourself all the way up and sunk back down on his hard pulsing cock, riding him as fast as you could.

“Oh y/n, that’s it. Don’t stop. Please don’t stop” he was moaning continuously, and you were worried that crystal might hear.

You guided his face to your chest, and he instantly latched his mouth on your nipple while you bounced up and down on him.

Usually, he was always very dominant in bed. But having him under you and moaning so loud was a side you would definitely like to see more often from him.

“Fuck, sweetheart, still so tight, just like the first time.”

You were already starting to get tired, but there was no way you were stopping when you felt him twitching inside you.

And his soft whimpers of how good you felt only made you ride him harder.

“And you’re still just as perfect as the first time” you moved his bangs away from his forehead, admiring how beautiful he looked under you.

He looked at you completely mesmerized, his eyes wide and shiny, and his mouth parted slightly as he focused on your beautiful face and the pleasure you were giving to him.

It was only when he placed his thumb on your clit that you felt your orgasm approaching. He rolled your nipple between his fingers, caressing the hardened bud. At the same time, his mouth worked on your other one.

He could already feel you clenching down on him. It was only a matter of time before your orgasm washed over you.

“Heeseung!” You dropped your head on his shoulder as your whole body shook with pleasure.

You didn’t slow down. If anything, you rode him faster, wanting him to cum with you. The sound of skin slapping could be heard all throughout the room, mixed with profanities and loud moans of each other’s names.

“Fuck, y/n, that’s it, I’m gonna cum. I’m g-gonna cum” after the words breathlessly left his lips, you could feel him pumping his seed deep inside of you.

“That’s right, baby, give me all of your cum”

The warmth of him filling you up had you reaching your second orgasm, squeezing his cock uncontrollably, milking him of all his release. Making sure none was wasted.

You rode out his high a little longer before collapsing on his chest,

“You’re going to look so sexy carrying our second baby.” he took a deep breath and rubbed your back soothingly. Once you could feel your legs again, you pried yourself away from his sticky body.

As soon as he lifted you up and pulled out, he watched a mix of yours and his cum leaking from your hole and down his cock, some of it coating his balls and dripping down to stain the sheets.

He bit his lip to control his moans. The sight had him turned on all over again.

Just when you were about to get up and go to the bathroom, he called out to you.

“Wait! Maybe we should go for a round two, just to make sure” he looked at you sheepishly. And the twitching of his cock didn’t go unnoticed by you.

“Fine, just to make sure, but you’re on top this time.”

“Say no more, sweetheart,” later that night. You learned that round two was actually code for all night and morning.

-

A week had passed, and he was finally finished with his project.

He felt so bad for lying. But it was just a little white lie, he hated the fact it made you sad that he was gone all the time, but it would all be over soon.

He was working with someone to get a custom engagement ring made, so technically, it wasn’t a lie. He was still working, just working in a different building with different people.

Finally, after so long, he was able to get everything set up. He wanted to make everything perfect for you.

He woke you up extra early.

“Honey, wake up. I have a surprise for you.” He caressed your cheek.

You rubbed the sleep from your eyes and glared at him.

“Are you crazy? It’s 7 in the morning.”

“And? You should be up by now anyway, hurry up and get ready while I make crystal something to eat, and don’t you dare give me that look ever again.”

“Fine,” you threw off your covers and went to the bathroom.

Once you were finally done, you saw heeseung and crystal playing with toys in the living room.

“Look! Mommy decided to show, after all, baby,”

“Heeseung, I’m really not in the mood right now.”

He ran up to you and grabbed your hand, pulling you towards the door.

“Well, too bad, get in the mood. I have a lot planned for us today. Can I get a good morning kiss first?”

“No.”

“Fine, then we just won’t go.” He folded his arms acting like a kid.

“Good,” you started to walk back to your room. He quickly blocked your path.

“Y/n, come on, just one kiss” he puckered his lips, waiting for your kiss.

You pecked his cheek,

“Happy now? Let’s just go, please.”

“But it wasn’t on the lips” you couldn’t help but smile at how cute he was being.

You grabbed him by his collar, pressing him against the wall and kissing him, you bit down on his lip a little, and he gasped. You used the opportunity to stick your tongue in his mouth and devour him whole. He struggled to keep up with you from the sudden action as tiny little moans escaped him.

You pulled away, leaving him utterly breathless.

“Can we go now?

He touched his lips with the tips of his fingers.

“Y-yes, we can go” his felt the heat rise to his cheeks. “Oh my god,” he cupped his face with his hands.

“Hee? Are you coming or not?” You smiled at him from the doorway, it was so cute how flustered he got whenever you would kiss him.

“Coming,” he quickly followed after you.

-

Everything might have gone fine if he didn’t have you blindfolded the whole way there.

“Are we almost there yet?”

“Honey, just be patient, and we’re actually here now.”

“So, I can take this off?”

“Not just yet” he got out of the car and led you and crystal into a tiny wooded area.

He tweaked a few more things, and then he was ready. He patted his pocket just to make sure he had the ring. He placed his hand on his chest, trying to calm his heart, but it was no use. Whenever you were around, it was impossible for his heart rate to be normal.

“Okayyyyy open!” He took both of your blindfolds off and let your eyes adjust.

You let out a sound of utter shock. You couldn’t believe your eyes. You stood in front of a bubble tent with lights decorating the whole exterior, pictures of you, him, and Crystal everywhere, accompanied by rose petals and a little table with some of your favorite snacks.

You didn’t say anything. You just hugged him as tightly as you possibly could. What did you ever do to deserve a man so perfect?

“Please, tell me you like it” he was starting to get a little nervous from your silence.

“I love it!”

“But not more than you love me, right?” He hugged you back.

“Of course not. I love you the most.”

“Crystal, isn’t daddy the best?” You didn’t notice she had already run off and started eating some of the chocolates inside the tent.

You both shared a laugh at her behavior. She was always so easily distracted.

“When did you do all this?”

“You know when I was working late?”

You nodded your head, already knowing where he was going with this.

“I was planning this the whole time. I’m sorry I came home so late. but it was the only free time I had.”

“Don’t be sorry. I should be sorry for ever doubting you.”

“It’s okay. I also have one more surprise” he got down on one knee.

And the tears had already started to fall not just from your eyes but his as well.

“Y/n, I know we did everything completely backwards, but somehow everything just seemed to fall into place, we had ups and downs, but we got through them together as a team. I would have never been able to come this far without you. You and crystal are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Thank you for making me a proud father of our baby girl. You both changed me for the better. You made me happy when I was sad, you were there for me when no one else was, you loved me unconditionally, and I can’t thank you enough for that. I know I’m not perfect, but I promise you that I’ll always try my absolute best cause you deserve it. And I can’t think of any other way I want to spend the rest of my life than with you by my side, so y/n m/n l/n will you marry me?”

“Yes! heeseung, oh my god, yes, yes, yes,” you squealed while he stood up and slipped the ring on your finger.

He lifted you up and spun you around, Placing a kiss on your lips. “I love you so, so much” he sat you down.

“I love you more. You said you’re not perfect, but in my eyes, you’re absolutely flawless. I’m so happy to be yours, and I’m so proud of you for taking up such responsibility. You are a great father, and I know you’re going to be an even better husband.”

“Thank you for saying that it means so much to me” he rested his head on yours, eyes closed, just enjoying the moment.

He stroked the ring on your finger.

“And look, honey, I got three diamonds in the middle, one to represent each of us and both of our initials on the side.”

“You’re so thoughtful. I love it so much baby. How is it possible for me to love you more and more each day?”

“I think the better question is, how did I ever get so lucky to have you in my life each day?”

“When we met at a theater, and I spilled all of my popcorn,” you smiled, remembering the night like it was just yesterday.

“And I told you to clean it up,” he laughed. “I don’t know what was wrong with me back then.”

“What was wrong with you? What about me? There was definitely something not right with the both of us” you laughed along with him.

“Well, maybe wrong, is just our right” he smiled and grabbed your hand leading you inside the tent.

You both joined crystal in the tent and ate the snacks he prepared while talking about all the memories you had together.

“You know, I never told you this, but the first night we met, I actually ran to the parking lot to search for you, but you were already gone.”

Your ears perked up.

“Really? Why?”

“Cause I think deep down inside, I already knew I was madly in love with you.”

“Eww, daddy’s being weird again.”

“Crystal stop it,” you said sternly but broke out into a fit of laughter seconds later.

“Why are you both so mean? All I’ve ever done is love you, and this is the thanks I get?” He pouted.

“Aww, don’t be sad, baby. You know just how much I love you.”

Crystal just shook her head and ignored you both, running outside the tent to play in the grass and enjoy the beautiful weather.

“I think I have an idea. Seeing how you gave yourself up to me so easily all those years ago, you practically begged me for it” he bit his lip, watching your demeanor change instantly.

“Why are you so perverted all the time? Is that all it’s about for you is sex?” You looked at him with a fake disgusted expression.

“Like you didn’t know that when you met me. and you say that as if you’re not the same girl who so eagerly rode me in a theater and begged for me to cum ins-“

“Okay! I think that’s enough going down memory lane. For now”

“Are you sure cause I think there’s a few bits and pieces that I left out”

“Do you mean the part where you came in your pants, and I barely even touched you?”

“Can you blame me? Just look at you. Plus, you’re the one who said it was, and I quote, “the hottest thing ever.” he popped a chocolate into his mouth.

“Whatever”

“Just come over here and cuddle with me. You’re too far away. and I want to feed you.”

“Okay,” you lay next to him and he wrapped his arm around you, you both looked at the sky, pointing out clouds that were shaped like animals and even one that resembled a heart like shape. He stole kisses here and there and never forgot to mention how lucky he was to have you in his life.

If anyone had told you this was how your life would end up after six years, you wouldn’t have believed them. It just sounded too good to be true. But here you were with the love of your life and your precious daughter, making even more unforgettable memories.

Oh, and did I forget to mention another baby was on the way?

The future held so much for you both. But you and heeseung took your time and didn’t rush anything cause you could only live one day at a time, and there was no need to. Time already passed quickly enough when you were with the ones you truly loved.

-

Nine months later and you were going into labor again but with twins this time. Heeseung was ecstatic about having twins. There was something about you and babies he just couldn’t seem to get enough of,

It felt like deja vu getting up In the middle of the night and waking up heeseung, your now husband of five months.

“Babe?” You shook him awake.

“Yes, honey?”

“I think I’m going into labor. My water just broke”

“Okay, he turned back on his side and closed his eyes. They immediately shot back open when he processed what you had just said. “Your water broke?!” He jumped out of bed, scrambling to find his keys.

“The keys, the keys, where are the damn keys?!”

“Baby, they’re on the nightstand.”

“Thank you, honey” he flashed you the biggest smile and grabbed his overnight bags, he woke up crystal and headed out of the door with her in his arms.

“Daddy, where’s mommy?”

“Mommy is in her roo-“ and it finally dawned on him. You waited a few seconds for him to realize what he did. Sure enough, he was back inside looking at you.

“Sweetheart, I swear, I didn’t forget you this time” he swooped you up in his arms and carried you to the car.

“I believe you” you kissed his cheek as he buckled you in. He went to the driver's side, grabbing your hand and driving you both to the hospital.

“I love you so much, sweetheart.”

“I love you more.”

There was no way you would trade this life for anything. Sure, things were rocky in the beginning, but it all seemed to fall into place, just like heeseung said, and when he promised you the world, you knew he would give it to you cause he never broke his promises.

Who knew you’d find the love of your life, your husband, and the father of all three of your kids from spilling a bucket of popcorn.

The end ~

🏷permanent taglist @hee-in @jayroseyy @axartia @bunhoons @ashxsmoon @lhsggg @scarlet127 @kpopscruggles @badidealy @heeseungleeworld @duolingofanaccount if you want to be added or removed, just leave an ask or comment.

Sorry for any typos/errors Likes and reblogs are much appreciated. I hope you enjoy!🤎

[mercy-burning]

Your Favorite — Part 1

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: When Y/N comes home from college for the summer to meet her mom's new boyfriend, she finds herself in a rather tough spot when she can’t stop thinking about him— And it seems he feels the same... Category: SMUT (18+) Content: Adults w/ age gap, masturbation (female and male), minor exhibitionism kink, oral sex (male receiving), penetrative sex, breeding kink (kinda? i think? 😅) Word Count: 7.3k (do you see now why I had to make it a miniseries? alsdjfdk)

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | MASTERLIST

DISCLAIMER: In this story, Spencer is dating Y/N’s mom while also having a sexual relationship with the reader herself. Because of that, there are obvious undertones of cheating, alongside some perv-y tendencies when it comes to a partner’s daughter. That being said, Spencer and Y/N’s relationship is consensual. However— If any of what I just forewarned is something that you think will make you uncomfortable while reading, please do not read! If there are any more disclaimers you think I may have missed, don’t hesitate to tell me! There is another post I made HERE with some disclaimers as well if you want to know more about what this story will entail.

NOTE: This intro is already too long, so I’ll just get this out of the way: you can find visual nsfw inspirations for this story over at @mercy-midnight, I’m working on a playlist for this story on my Spotify @/mercyburning, and I don’t know when part 2 and 3 will be out, but you can assume they’ll be here within the next few weeks.

———

JUNE 5th

I hate my mom's new boyfriend.

For the past three months she'd been telling me about this new guy who's "The One" as if "The One" hasn't been like four other guys in the past two years.

And as much as I'd love for my mom to find someone to spend the rest of her life with, I don't believe she'd ever find Mr. Perfect at this rate. Unless she spent more than a few months with them at a time before dragging me home from college for a weekend to meet them, I really don't see it happening.

It just sucks. Because every time she does this, every time I return home, I see the glimmering hope in her eyes and the diminishing spark in his, and I know. I know it won't last, and her heart will be utterly broken within the span of a few months.

I always thought maybe she just had terrible taste in men.

But this time around, when I begrudgingly walk through the door of my childhood home for the summer and see my mother clinging to a man who returns that glimmer in her eyes, I know she's picked a good one.

And I hate him.

His name is Spencer Reid, and he's a retired FBI agent who teaches full time at local colleges now.

He greets me with a bona fide, radiant smile, unlike all the others before, and it sets my insides on fire. And when we sit down for dinner, he's polite (but not in a fake way,) and he seems genuinely curious about my studies and my personality and my relationship with my mother. And when dinner is finished he offers to clean up while Mom and I settle in the living room.

I see the way he looks at me as I leave, a gentle, closed-mouth smile and eyes that linger a little too long on my exposed legs before averting, a glint of shame pooling within them, and it only spreads that fire in my belly.

Maybe I'd been imagining the whole thing, because deep down I wanted him to look at me the way he had... But it's hard to tell when my brain is mostly setting off sirens, blaring "THIS IS WRONG! THIS IS WRONG!" on a loop with blinding lights.

And they're even louder when my mom wraps her arm around me and lays her head atop mine. "Well, what do you think? He's great, huh?"

She's so lovesick, it hurts. It hurts even worse knowing that all I can think about is his big hands wrapped around my throat while he fucks me into the squeaky twin-sized mattress in my bedroom upstairs.

But I can't tell her that, obviously.

And so I decidedly hate him. And I have no choice but lie to her face, embracing her joy and hoping that I'll be able to survive this summer.

"Yeah, Mom. He's really great."

JUNE 19th

It's been two weeks and I can barely stand to be in the same house anymore.

I try to keep myself busy by going outside, to the beach or for long walks in the park; but it's too hot for my liking, and our town is so small that unless I want to spend my time in the grocery store or one of the three bars on Main Street...

I'm stuck either outside where it's hot and uncomfortable, or in the house where it's also hot and uncomfortable.

We have air conditioning, of course, but that's not the problem.

It's Spencer.

I thought by now my little crush on him would have gone, but the longer he hangs around the house, the stronger my feelings for him grow. They're not romantic—nor do I think they ever could be given the fact that if anything serious really were to ever happen between us, my mom would disown me for the rest of my life and murder Spencer with her bare hands—but that doesn't make it any easier on me.

Every day he just exists, right in front of me with that tug-able mop of hair, those warm honey eyes, and his hands that never stop moving. I swear, it's like every time he breathes, his hands are breathing too, challenging me to try and stop them.

But I refuse to touch him. Because I know the moment I do, all will be lost. I won't be able to control myself anymore. And if I don't drop to my knees and try sucking his dick at the dinner table, I'm sure I'll blurt out how I can't handle it anymore and that I need him, and either way I'd be royally fucked.

Right now he's in the dining room, teaching my mom how to do a disappearing card trick. She thinks it's utterly charming that he can do it at all, but mostly that he's patient and willing enough to teach her. And normally I'd agree, but I can barely look at them without wanting to waltz over, grab his wrist, and suck his fingers into my mouth.

It's truly pathetic.

So I try to focus on the television just a few feet away. It's one of those rare instances where I wish our house was bigger, because while I don't mind having less wall-space between rooms, I do mind not being able to watch TV without the kitchen table in my periphery at a time like this. And I think about going up to my bedroom instead for a moment, but I'd have to go past the kitchen, and I just know Mom is going to ask if I'd want Spencer to teach me his magic trick.

And I most definitely do not want that.

In another life, maybe, where he isn't a hot professor and rather an average-looking dude who's way too into fantasy football... But not in this lifetime.

So there I sit, concentrating so hard on Family Feud that my face hurts.

When I hear a flutter of cards and joyous giggling from the other room, it's more than my face that hurts.

It's also my chest, churning and tensing at the hands of the green devil.

Fuck!

I barely even know this man... I haven't really talked to him because I'm afraid that if I try to hold a conversation I'll snap. He's literally just some hot older guy who's dating my mom, and still, my whole body twists and aches with envy when they do anything together, and it fucking sucks. Not only because of the jealousy, but it's also the fact that my mom deserves to be happy.

This time it's different. This time, she's really found someone who returns her every loving gaze, who makes her laugh, who's kind and genuine and not a total douche. She's happier than I've seen her in years.

And the one time she finally finds "The One", every waking second of my life is spent longing for him fuck me.

But it's only been two weeks.

And it's also been nearly two years since I got laid, so maybe that's just my issue...

I figure it can't hurt, so in a spur of the moment decision, I turn the TV off and sprint towards the stairs, right past Mom and Spencer before they can ask questions.

———

I hardly even register the dimness of the light inside the house by the time I glide up the steps, fumbling with the key and trying to make my entrance as quiet as possible. Though, because I'm so used to the dark by this point, the light—no matter how dim—nearly blinds me. The door shuts louder than I'd have liked, and I cringe inwardly, pausing as if that will keep anyone from seeing or hearing me. Not like it'll matter, considering Mom and Spencer are the only ones that are staying here and they'd also been the only ones aware of my plans for the evening.

Well, somewhat, anyway. I told them an old friend invited me out and I probably wouldn't be home until late.

Regardless, that instinct of trying not to get caught coming in late at night is stronger than common sense. Throw a little cheap beer and some shots into the mix, and it almost feels like I'm a teenager again.

The only thing different now is that I have a pool of some stranger's cum soaking my underwear and a man in front of me who stands like an angel. An exhausted, almost scruffy-looking angel more like, but my point still stands.

"You're up late," Spencer observes. It's a simple enough statement— not really judge-y, but I can tell that regardless of his knowledge of my coming home late, he seems shocked to see me coming through the front door right now.

And it's hard to look away from him. Just like it has been for the past two weeks. Still, I try, just barely avoiding his eyes as I cross my arms and fight the urge to clench my legs together. "I'm a whore. What's your excuse?"

Maybe not the best thing to say. But like I said, common sense? Gone.

"O—oh... Umm..." Spencer stumbles through his words, obviously stunned by my response, and the look in his eyes kind of makes me want to curl up in a ball and die from embarrassment. Still, I stand my ground and wait for him to continue.

He settles on a short, "I can't sleep," and then there's nothing else.

"Ah," I express. One syllable. I don't draw it out, I don't exaggerate it... This is the first real conversation I've had alone with him, and I've made it extremely awkward, so I sigh and take a few steps forward, trying to walk past him. "Okay. Goodnight."

I only make it a few steps before he stops me, his hand reaching out to tap my shoulder. "Wait—"

The touch makes me jump, and he pulls it away immediately as I turn to face him. My heart is racing at the speed of light, my panties are soaked through, and if I'm not careful that whole 'no common sense' thing is going to bite me so hard in the ass I won't have one left.

"Can I talk to you?" His voice is barely audible, and the gentle rasp it has to it seems to make me even more wet.

I nod, not trusting myself to speak.

"Look, I um... Your mom has been totally transparent with me about her relationships, so I know that she's been through a lot of them in a short amount of time... And I know that must be a little difficult for you. Especially now that I'm here... And you've been... distant. And I know that I don't know you that well, so forgive me if I'm assuming anything, but I just want you to know that I don't have any intention of making things difficult for you and your mother."

Too late, pal, I think bitterly, the gentle authority in his tone setting my insides alight. I'm positive that voice could get me to do so many things...

That's the alcohol and sex talking, Y/N, just shake it and move on...

He starts again, but I cut him off with a short wave of my hand. "Look, I... I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I had a really long night, and I'm exhausted. I just wanna shower and go to bed."

I expect more resistance, but Spencer only nods. I still can't bring myself to look him in the eye, though this time I catch his hands clenching at the bottom hem of his shirt. "I understand. Sleep well."

Without another word I turn on my heel and walk a little faster towards the stairs, and I'm about to take my first step when I realize he's followed me. His voice calls out my name softly from a few feet behind, and it stops me in my tracks regardless of my desire to get out of there as fast as I can. And then I turn around and finally look directly at his face.

Big mistake.

His eyes are on my legs again, trailing slowly upwards until he reaches my face. The light over here is dimmer, barely noticeable at all, though I swear I can see red forming on his cheeks.

"I like your dress," he says softly. It's almost meek, like he'd been afraid to say it but took a chance anyway.

It's such a random, small compliment, but with the alcohol and endorphins flowing through my body after the night I'd just had, it nearly makes me quiver.

It also makes me incredibly stupid.

An amused, almost sensual grin forms on my face as I make eye contact with him, and I feel myself throb at the way I can just barely see his throat move. He looks like a deer in headlights, afraid to make one sudden move.

"Turning to flattery to try and win me over, are we?" I say slowly.

I almost think he'll stumble over his words once more, but again he surprises me with a full answer. It's only three words but it's clear, and his voice is deep, and I want to fucking jump his bones right then and there.

"Is it working?"

This has to be the alcohol making me imagine things... I swear I didn't even drink that much tonight, but it has to be an obvious lapse in judgement. The drinking mixed with the sex mixed with the dirty thoughts I've been having about this man lately have to be what's making this feel real. It's all culminating into this one big fantasy (or delusion, more like), and all I need is to shower and sleep it off.

That has to be it.

So because there's no other reasonable explanation that my brain can conjure up, I take a chance and throw Spencer a wink before turning and sprinting up the stairs.

And it's that same seemingly undeniable reasoning for this illusion that doesn't keep my hands from wandering in the shower. Even though those warning sirens in my brain keep blaring, telling me that the common sense is still there for me to utilize, they're drowned out by my thrumming heartbeat and the repetition of Spencer's soothing, authoritative voice, guiding my movements.

Keep rubbing your clit for me, baby... Just like that, nice and slow...

Warm water cascades down the front of my body as I lean back into the wall of the shower, but that's not why I'm so warm. This heat radiates through my insides, spreading like wildfire and bringing out small whimpers and mewls that I know I'll have to contain in fear of waking my mom from her bedroom right next door.

But then the thought of her hearing me next door as I cry out her boyfriend's name only excites me more. I keep it quiet still, but just knowing that someone else is in the house while I'm having these thoughts right now (one of them being the object of said thoughts) is what finally brings me over the edge.

I finish my shower on weak legs, definitely overstimulated now, but also feeling even more tired. I know that the moment I lay down on my bed, I'll be pulled into the sweet, soft surrender of a deep sleep.

Nothing else has ever sounded so pleasant.

———

When I woke up that morning after, I was feeling surprisingly calm. Realistically I knew that my whole 'this has to be an illusion' montage had been less truth and more inebriated babble, and the longer I sat on it the more I thought it'd all turned out for the better.

Turns out, tipsily masturbating in the shower to thoughts of your mom's hot new boyfriend was a surefire way to get it out of your system, right?

Wrong.

It really had been okay at first. I thought about Spencer almost immediately, and yeah, he was still hot as fuck—But there wasn't this overwhelming desire within me to jump his bones when I saw him that morning, his hair messy and his hands clutching a cup of coffee while Mom made breakfast behind him.

But that good feeling I had about all of this? It lasts only about a split second.

Because the moment he looks up and sees me, the mug falls out of his hand and shatters to pieces. His eyes stay glued to me, even as my mother darts over to pick up the pieces of the ceramic that are scattered about the table and the floor. And when she turns back to grab a paper towel, he still stares at me, once again at my legs.

It takes me all of four seconds afterwards to remember that not only did I talk to him briefly last night, but I also flirted with him after he complimented me.

That whole part seemed to have slipped my mind when waking up, and now that his gaze is bringing me back to that moment, that 'this has to be an illusion' montage is starting to become larger than I'd remembered.

It isn't until he finally snaps out of it and starts to help my mom clean up the mess that I snap out of it, too, going back upstairs to clear my head and cool the heat radiating over my skin.

———

There's a knock at my bedroom door about an hour later, and it sounds different than my mom's usually quick two-knock succession. That means it's someone else, and unsurprisingly, my stomach tightens at the thought of seeing him again.

"Yeah?" I call out, turning in my desk chair and meeting Spencer's figure in the doorway. He's changed, a rather nice pair of slacks and a white button-up shirt clinging to his limbs.

"Can I come in?"

"Mhm," I say. I still don't know if I entirely trust myself to say anything more than a few words to him, and as he enters the room and sits on the foot of my bed, I wonder if he can tell.

He tries, really tries, to look me in the eye, but I know that it's hard. I've been in the same spot. And then he takes a deep breath before folding his hands in his lap.

"Y/N, I want to apologize... When we... talked last night... It was kind of weird, and then this morning wasn't really any better..." He can barely get out the words 'talk' and 'last night'... And then he avoids my gaze altogether, staring at the floor and trailing off, trying to put his thoughts together it seems.

And that's when it starts to click into place.

There's one thing that both last night and this morning have in common, and I've noticed it almost every time I've caught him staring at me. At my legs. It's happened almost daily since I've met him. And then, the night I come home clearly having just been fucked, waltzing past him, entertaining his fascination with my legs and then masturbating to thoughts of him in the shower, he finally starts dropping mugs.

He must also really feel something here. Something similar to my own feelings. And really, that should be a red flag, because he's my mom's boyfriend, and it's a goddamned fucking mess...

But fuck, it excites me.

I'm still wearing my pajama shorts, silky and lavender in color, and I use them to my advantage, slowly crossing one leg over the other and just barely gaining Spencer's attention back.

"Yeah, what was that, anyway?" I ask him, amusement dripping off my tongue.

I can tell from his reaction that he wasn't expecting me to ask. A few times he opens his mouth to speak and then closes it , stumbling before panicking. He's been pretty good so far at coming up with answers and explanations, so the fact that this time I finally seemed to have broken him down makes it all the more clear.

He must have heard me in the shower.

Right?

I'm almost completely positive that's what this is about. And there's one way for me to get the confirmation I'm looking for.

"So you heard me, huh?"

I try to keep my voice as plain as I can as not to give away my motives, and with my luck Spencer is so flustered that he probably wouldn't have even noticed it at all. He looks up at me, his eyes desperately trying to find something he can use to make up a lie, but in the end there's no use.

I've caught him. And he knows it.

"Yes," he whispers. He looks exhausted, guilty, and also a little like he wants to cross the barrier and kiss me.

Okay, maybe that part's just in my head. I really can't tell. But I do know that hearing me call his name out in the shower last night is what brought him to this point of severe distress. As much as that excites me, though, it also embarrasses me a little. Maybe if it hadn't happened we could have avoided further destruction.

It must read on my face, because Spencer perks a little. "Oh! Y/N, I'm not... I'm not mad or anything. I really didn't mean to overhear and invade your privacy... Really, I-I'm sorry."

The fact that he's apologizing to me right now, rather than acting all grossed out that I even did it in the first place, tells me he either feels guilty for not being able to help himself from hearing me, or he's just a good guy who loves my mom and doesn't want to ruin it because of a little mishap.

Either way, it's frustrating, because I don't know what to do.

Well, I know what I want to do, but I don't know if I should hint at it.

But then he does something. It's small, and no one would have noticed, but I've been fascinated with his hands since the moment I met him, so my eyes are instantly drawn there.

They're clenched so hard, his knuckles are nearly white.

He's nervous.

To ease his mind a bit, I hold off on poking the bear harder (though it's really tempting to see what will happen if I don't) and nod, trying to make myself look as apologetic and small as possible.

"It's okay... I... I won't make it awkward if you won't?"

His shoulders slump, and his body seems to relax. "Y–yeah. Yeah, deal."

He gets up off the bed and blurts one final apology before heading for the door, but that part of me that wants to poke the bear further makes me stand up and follow him.

"Spencer?" I call out.

He freezes and turns to face me, and I don't think he quite expected me to be as close as I am. I have to tilt my head up to look at him, and the angle gives me an added layer of this innocence I'm trying to achieve.

"I'm sorry, too..."

No the fuck I'm not.

Whether he can sense my lie or not, he doesn't show it. But I think he at least knows that I'm pitching my voice a little higher on purpose, and if that doesn't give it away, the way I'm staring at him sure should.

Still, he only nods and retreats.

All there's left to do is see what happens.

JUNE 25th

For someone who agreed not to make things awkward, Spencer sure can't keep his eyes off of me.

To be fair, I have tried to keep things fairly normal. I only really interacted with him if I had to, I kept my distance, and I saved my skimpier clothing for the strangers I was regularly going out to see almost every weekend.

My lustful feelings for him aren't as strong now that I've been getting some on a semi-regular basis and keeping myself occupied. I've been doing my part.

But I still can't shake him entirely.

Whenever he spends the night (which is surprisingly most nights), the occasional wet dream about him gets me frustrated when I know he's just down the hall and sleeping soundly next to my mom. On those days I try to cut as much interaction with him as I can, though it doesn't keep me from seeing the occasional stare he throws my way.

I wish I could say that I hate it.

But I don't, and it increasingly gets worse. It's only been a week, so there's still time, but honestly, I don't think there's any shaking him.

Today especially is one of those days where it's hard not to give into the incessant need to tease him and coax some stronger reaction out of him.

I talked to Mom earlier this morning about getting some new clothes, and she had this brilliant idea to have Spencer take me. "It would be a good chance for you two to bond a little, don't you think?" she insisted, nudging him in the side and silently pleading with her eyes for him to agree.

I could tell from the look on his face that he really wasn't ready to be alone with me again, but that only excited me.

"Yeah, I think that's a great idea," I piped up, positively beaming.

Mom was so excited for us to 'bond' and also that I was gladly inclined to go through with it that Spencer couldn't have said no to her even if he wanted to.

And I was pretty sure he didn't want to.

Yet here we are, sitting in the car, the air conditioning so strong it's blowing some of my hair into my eyes. I think it had been his way of punishing me for choosing today to wear a short skirt, something I usually refrain from nowadays unless I'm going out, and it makes me smile. I can't help it.

I also can't help the way my fingers play with my skirt, dying to tease him some more. I just want to see, to know for sure that I'm driving him mad.

"No offence, but you seem weird today... Is there something wrong?" I ask him, lifting my skirt just a smidge. The air from the car blows the fabric in waves.

"You're acting this way on purpose."

Well, I hadn't been expecting that answer... All this time he'd hardly been confrontative, and now he's full-on calling me out. It's plain to see that he's finally snapped, and I would have felt sorry about it if I didn't find it extremely sexy.

"What do you mean?"

"Y/N..."

My name on his lips is a warning. He's clearly annoyed, exasperated, and I'm loving every second. "Don't act oblivious. I'm not stupid, and neither are you. I don't want to make you hate me or anything, but you have to know where I'm coming from. I was willing to let the shower thing slide... And you said you were too, for that matter, so I don't know what's changed, but it has to stop now. Understood?"

Oh, all I want is to argue with him. I want to point out that none of this is really my fault because he's the one who hasn't been able to stop staring at me all summer so far. I want to tell him that if he wants this to stop he has to make it stop.

But that isn't going to give me any of the answers I'm looking for or further proof of my theory that he wants me just as badly as I want him. And I am not going to fuck this whole situation up by making a poorly-timed move on him.

I have to know for sure.

So, I fold my hands neatly in my lap, sigh, and look dead ahead. "Right... We said no awkwardness. I'm sorry."

Spencer seems to accept my apology and continues down the road.

When we make it to the mall I think he's calmed down. At least, he seems a little more comfortable around me, and honestly I'm okay with it. As much as his spiel in the car turned me on, it also exhausted me to the point of silence.

Even as we walk around each store in the mall, I just lead and he follows, not saying a word when I pick out a top or a pair of pants or whatever else I need. And when it comes time to pay, he takes the basket from me and pays for it with no question.

Near five bags of clothes later, I figure I could get used to this new dynamic.

But then we pass a lingerie store, and I remember that the main thing I'd needed was new underwear. I start to turn into the store, but stop suddenly, pausing awkwardly and deciding to go straight ahead instead.

"You don't want to go in?" Spencer asks.

I shake my head. "No, it's fine. I can just pick some up later, it's not a big deal."

He sighs then, nodding his head towards the sign. "If you need to go in, you can... I'll just wait out here if you're uncomfortable."

I really want to call him out, ask him if he's the one who should be worried about being uncomfortable. But so far this afternoon has been pretty decent, and I really don't want to make things any weirder than they have to be.

Besides... If my theory is right...

"Sure. Thanks. Uh, how am I gonna pay, though?"

"O—Oh... I'll uh... I'll just watch the counter and come in when you need me."

"Orrrr, you could just give it to me?"

This time I get a laugh out of him. "Not a chance. Go in, I'll wait."

I smile at him and hand him the bags to hold onto while I leave, and it fills me with absolute amusement that he'd just given me one more ounce of proof that I'm right.

He's gonna have to come inside and pay for what I bought. He could have just given me the card, and maybe he truly doesn't trust me with it (which I don't know why he wouldn't honestly), but he chose to come inside all the same.

I browse happily then, going through the displays and picking out things I need, but also things I know Spencer will like.

Specifically, I stumble on a pair of lavender panties, embroidered with flowery trim up top. The pattern from the outside is lace, but there's a thin layer of cotton underneath designed to be more comfortable to wear.

I've noticed that he can never seem to look away when I'm wearing anything, really, but it's more intense when I wear one of two things. Florals, and any type of purple. And these fit both of those bills perfectly.

Now there's just one more bill to take care of.

I stride over to the counter and turn around, finding that Spencer's caught my eye immediately. Either he truly had been paying attention to the counter the whole time, or he'd been watching through the glass, following me with his gaze to the best of his abilities. Either way, he blinks a few times and looks like he's gathering the courage to go in before actually taking any steps.

I laugh to myself, eager to gauge his reaction to this next step.

Surprisingly, he holds up well. The air between me, him, and the cashier is obviously awkward, but he doesn't say anything and barely looks at what she rings up. (I say barely because he tries extremely hard not to look at the purple pair I picked out, inadvertently adding another checkmark to my list of proof.) She tells him the total, he hands her the card, and within a minute, everything is in our possession and we're leaving the mall entirely.

I don't think there are any more steps to my plan today once we get in the car and I tell him thank you. (To which he responds a short and simple, Sure thing, and turns the radio on.)

But then there's a note taped to the front door, and it instantly gives me another one.

My Sweethearts,

I got called in on a work emergency and won't be back until 7. I would have called but I figured you were having a nice time and didn't want to interrupt! I'll bring home dinner, and then maybe you can tell me about how your day went. Can't wait to hear it!

XOXO,

Eve/Mom

I check my phone, seeing that it's almost 3.

Perfect.

But I don't want to give myself away too quickly, so I thank Spencer again for taking me out and tell him that I'm going upstairs to make sure everything fits right. He nods and lets me go, though not without lingering eyes. I can feel it.

The smile never leaves my face as I try all my clothes on. Once each article has been fitted, I throw it in a laundry basket and move to the next, until I get to the last piece.

The lavender panties.

As expected, they fit perfectly, and as I look at myself in the mirror I picture what Spencer would look like when he sees me wearing them.

That's right. When.

I throw back on my earlier outfit and grab the basket, acting as bored and normal as possible to find him sitting at the kitchen table, reading a book.

"Hey," I greet him, setting the basket in front of me once I reach the bottom of the stairs. "Everything fits good, I just need them washed now. Could you run these down to the laundry room for me? I think I'm gonna make something to snack on before Mom brings dinner."

It doesn't surprise me to see him look at my legs before my face, even if it is brief. I want to smile, but I hold back, watching him nod with a tight smile of his own.

"Sure."

He disappears and then I wait.

One...

Two...

Three.

I sneak as quietly as I can to the laundry room once I hear the washer door open. I hadn't specifically asked him to put them in the washer for me on purpose, and it looks like now he's doing exactly what I thought he might.

My head peeks around the corner, barely in his range of sight as I watch him empty the basket. He takes one item of clothing at a time and throws it in the washer, and halfway through the basket he stops, just to place a pair of my new underwear on the dryer beside him.

My heart races faster the more I wait for him to get to the end of the basket. Once he does, he pauses again, and I think I know exactly what he's looking for.

Still, he sets the basket aside and picks up the stray pair of underwear, a simple black cotton pair that I'd been getting for years, and drapes it over his hands. My thighs instantly clench, and I try so hard to remain where I am so I can see where he takes this.

He takes it straight to hell, apparently, tentatively pulling his dick out of his pants and gripping it firmly. I can barely see since his back is partially turned, but I see enough, and god he's so fucking pretty. My underwear dangle from his left hand while the other works slowly over his erection, a soft sigh falling from his lips.

I fight to let one of my own slip as my hand sinks down the front of my body, past the lavender cotton and lace that I know he just wishes he had right now.

And then, a few seconds later he's already coming, using my brand new underwear to catch each rope of it, and the sight nearly has me on my knees.

And because I want to catch him in the act, I quickly draw my hand away from myself and step into the room, barely giving him time to recover.

"You come fast."

Spencer looks utterly devastated when he turns to see me standing in the entryway to the laundry room, arms crossed and an amused smirk adorning my face.

"Y/N... I—I... I'm so sorry, I didn't... I..."

"Don't worry about it," I say, taking a step towards him and shrugging. "You heard me, and now I heard you... We're even. Besides, I... figured you might be looking for these."

He's still stunned, but he looks down all the same, watching my hands slip under my skirt and glide the lavender panties down my legs. I step out of them and hold the garment up on one finger, a soft smile still on my face.

"I picked 'em out just for you, you know," I tell him, tossing them past his face and into the washer. "I've noticed that you like purple."

This time he's quick to respond. "Y/N, we... We can't... This isn't right."

"Says the man holding my underwear soaked in his cum..."

He looks panicked again, extremely guilty, but if this isn't going to end in a total disaster, then I have to reassure him that I'm okay.

"Spencer, I'm not mad..." I take another step forward, and it feels much like trying to approach a wounded animal. I can see in his eyes and in his posture that this conflict is killing him, so I decide to show some rapport. "And I know... I know this is messy... I love my mom... And I'm sure you care about her a lot... But are we really going to ignore this? We tried that, remember? And now look where we are."

"I..." He swallows, shaking his head and trying to avoid my eyes. "I can't stop thinking about you... I can't..."

My hand finds his arm, and the light touch has him sighing out, an incredulous, breathy laugh escaping him. "Y/N, please... Don't."

"Don't what?" I ask softly, praying he won't turn me away. If he does, we're just back to square one, only the square is jagged, sharper than ever before, and in serious danger of injuring someone.

When he meets my eyes, I see nothing but a desire for something he knows he can't have. "Don't want me."

Now it's my turn to laugh. My knees start to wobble as I go down, keeping my eyes locked onto his, and I swear I see them dilate fully. I scoot in closer, sliding my hand up his leg and finding the words in my heart to finally say out loud.

"It's too late for that..."

My face moves closer, and the hand of his that doesn't currently hold my underwear flies down to gently tug at my hair, keeping me in place.

"If you do this... God, Y/N, I won't be able to stop myself..."

A smirk dances over my lips as I lean in, breath fanning gently over his exposed skin. "Don't."

He swallows. "Don't what?"

"Don't stop yourself."

I barely get the words out before his hand is completely pulling me towards him, and the second my lips press against the silky skin of his hard cock, he loses it completely.

His fingers thread through my hair as I kiss and lick my way softly up to the tip. Once I'm there, I swirl my tongue out and taste the small beads of cum that had remained after he came, a low, satiated hum radiating through my body and making him shiver under my touch.

And then I wrap my lips fully around the head of his dick, and there's no stopping the most beautiful sound I've ever heard come out of his mouth. It's a broken, desperate whisper of my name. The crack in his voice when he says it spurs me forward, and I take him deeper into my mouth until he hits the back of my throat.

That's when he tosses my underwear in the washer and uses both of his hands to grab my head, roughly guiding me along his cock and fully taking control of my actions.

The fire in my belly doesn't ease up, not even once he's decided that he can't take it anymore and pulls me off of him harshly.

And that's only because now he's fully turned over, finally given into these desires that have been plaguing him presumably from the moment we met.

"I want you stripped and in your bed, on your hands and knees within the next five minutes."

I get up off the floor and walk up to him until our bodies are flush, my arms reaching up to wrap around his neck.

"What are you gonna do to me, Spencer?"

He searches my eyes, and his own grow dark with the purest form of sin I'd ever seen. And when his hands come up over the back of my legs, and under my skirt to grab my ass and pull me even closer to him, I can't help the little mewl that slips past my lips.

He smiles, and if it hadn't been for the grip he held on me, I would have fallen to my knees. "Little girl, when I'm through with you, you'll have to come up with some excuse to your mom about why you can't walk straight... Is that what you want?"

The mention of my mom should send me running in the opposite direction, but his threat only prolongs that fire in my veins and makes me want him even more.

I tilt my head up and press a gentle kiss to his lips.

"Do your worst..."

———

Turns out he was very true to his word.

Sitting at the kitchen table is somewhat of a relief, but I try not to walk around as much when Mom gets home. She'd asked me almost immediately if I was okay, and I told her I was just hungry and needed to eat something.

She seemed to have bought it, rushing to the kitchen to unpack the fast food she'd ordered for us. Over her shoulder, Spencer gave me a sly smile, and it took everything I had within myself not to crumble.

Through bites of food, I only half-listen to Mom telling us about the stuff she had to do at work because most of the words I'm hearing are in my head— A loop of endless dirty talk that plants deep into the soil of my stomach and spreads out through my whole body. It infects me, like the most beautiful poison, and I never want it to stop.

"Tell me, sweetheart, you ever let a man come inside you before?"

His weight on top of me coupled together with the heft of his voice has me whining out in pleasure, each snap forward of his hips over my ass as he pounds into me from behind the most delectable burn I've ever felt.

"Uh huh," I answer happily, twisting my head to feel his cheek against my own. "That night you heard me in the shower... I walked through the door with a stranger's cum soaking my panties... And you know what?"

He grumbles, his hips hitting into me harder as he waits for me to continue.

"I wished it was yours..."

My legs clench together under the table and I take a large gulp of water.

I feel something graze over my bare shin, and I already know it's Spencer's foot, a silent reassurance of his presence and that no matter what, he'll always be here.

"Here's what's going to happen..."

He has me on my back now, my legs hoisted over his shoulders and bent back so I'm nearly folded in half. His hips are flush against mine and I can feel his cock throbbing as he comes into the condom.

"You're gonna make an appointment to make sure you're clean... You're gonna make sure you're on good birth control... And then the next time I fuck this pretty little pussy, you're gonna really know what it feels like to have a man come inside you."

Right... Like I really need a reminder of his presence.

I can practically feel it still inside me, taking up every inch of space my body could provide. And no matter how long I go without seeing him, I have no doubt that it'll always remain.

"But that's enough about me, I'm sorry." Mom's voice shifts and breaks me out of my fantasy. "So, how did your day of bonding go? You have fun?"

Spencer and I share a look, a smile spreading over his lips that makes me smile in turn.

"Yeah, Mom," I say. "It was great."

He nods in kind. "Yeah... We'll definitely have to do it again."

His foot grazing over my leg under the table cements the unwavering smile on my face, as does the way my whole body burns at the memory of him fucking me upstairs only hours before.

I don't even flinch or get sick to my stomach when Mom reaches over and gives Spencer a kiss.

———

PERMANENT TAGLIST:  @elldell1204 @muffin-cup @calm-and-doctor @slutforthegubes @rainsong01 @yourmisosoup @liveloudwriteloud @reidsconverse @la-vie-en-amour1 @edgycowboy666 @averyhotchner @centiaaa @lizziechaseee @coffeeandendlesswords @usuck @spenxerslut @ssacalumsg0lden @emilyprentisslittlewhore @takeyourleap-of-faith @reidyoulikeabook @spencerreid9 @b-a-utiful @jareauswifey @flipperpenguins @pansexualthing @donald4spiderman @awesomebooklover17​ @shemarmooresfedora @izraahh1 @bakugouswh0r3 @singularityjc @xoxospencerreid @thatsonezesty13 @big-galaxy-chaos

TAGS NOT WORKING: @ayla-1605

If you would like to be added to or removed from the taglist, feel free to message me or leave a comment and I’ll get on it right away!

[bokoutoe-retired]

#93 “people like me aren’t supposed to have someone like you”

characters; bakugou katsuki

synopsis; after overhearing a girls night conversation bakugou questions your relationship and a fight ensues.

total word count; 1398

warnings; some swearing, and a lil bit of angst with a fluffy ending

「a/n」 big thank you to @thisisgreatg for being my first dialogue propmt request 🥺 this turned out to be a lot longer than i thought it would be because i just kinda started word spewing. but after i went back and edited i think it turned out pretty good!! also i’ll put in a ‘keep reading’ once i’m back at my computer!

it’s widely known and all around accepted that every other saturday night is girls night in the heights alliance dorms. all the girls of 1-A gather in the common room to gossip, snack, and unwind after a long week packed full of hero course work. the seven of you throw yourselves across the two green couches and spare chairs. the coffee table stands in the center with a few snacks littered on top. the bigger of the two couches contains you, laid across the length of it with your head resting in minas lap. ochako sits curled up just past your feet, munching on a bag of chips.

“i guess mr. aizawa did say the test was going to be one of the hardest this year, but i still didn't expect todoroki to get one of the lowest grades!” momo is on the floor, leaned back between jirous legs, as she helps her brush out her freshly washed hair.

“but still, you and bakugou did really good as usual.” tsu nods at momo, leaning over from her place on one of the cushioned chairs to grab a leftover cookie.

“speaking of, y/n don’t you think bakugou is a little mean to you even though you're, you know, dating?” ochako stuffs a few more chips in her mouth as she looks over at you.

“i don’t think i’ve even seen him hold your hand,” jirou agrees without looking up from momo’s hair.

“y/n has he ever held your hand? or even ever given you a hug?!” mina seems to find the possibility that bakugou deprives you of affection quite absurd as she looks down at you, completely baffled.

“I haven’t really thought about it too much, but it’s not really that big of a deal…” you shrug up at mina and she continues to play with your hair, twirling a few strands around her fingers.

“it’s like you and him aren’t even dating if he treats you like that!” tooru says quite loudly. the long sleeves of her pajama shirt raise into the air and you assume she has her arms throw up in exasperation.

“well i wouldn't say-” you start.

“how are you supposed to be in a functioning relationship if he doesn’t even act like he likes you!?” toorus sleeves continue to flail around as she interrupts you.

“well i don’t really know, sometimes i do wish he was a little more affectionate, but that's just.. how he is, i guess.” you’re not really too sure what to say as you’ve never really put too much thought into it or even noticed.

“if that's how you feel y/n, i guess! but personally i’d want my partner to be…” minas words go in one ear and out the other, along with the rest of the conversations that night. the girls continue to talk grades and crushes, but you’re far too concerned with the previous conversation to be completely involved.

by the time the night is over, everythings cleaned up and you’re walking back to your dorm you’re left wondering, is there something wrong with your relationship?

~

normally, bakugou would be fast asleep by now, it’s well past 8:30pm. he tried to go back to sleep but after tossing and turning for nearly twenty minutes, he gave in. sleep was too far out of reach, but maybe a warm glass of water would help him settle back in for the night. bakugou was fully aware that tonight was ‘girls night’, but who were some shitty extras to tell him he couldn't get water. it’s his damn dorm building too! plus he’d be in and out. nobody would notice, so no harm no foul right? wrong. now he sits in his room almost a whole half an hour later, awake and replaying your conversation with the girls in his head.

he was walking back from the kitchen, glass of water in hand, and passed the common room at just the right moment. when he had walked by the first time, he had paid no mind to the topic of conversation being something about someone's muscles, nothing of interest to him. but hearing his name certainly was of interest. he stood in the hall, just out of sight line and listened as the girls (mostly mina and tooru) badger you with assumptions about your relationship with him. it left him thinking, did you think he wasn’t enough? did you want more for him? were you unhappy?

~

the next day was completely normal, most of your overthinking had ceased and you spent your sunday studying with bakugou in your room.

monday came and went for the most part, class had been long and tiring but you were excited to head back home. bakugou walked you from the main building back to heights alliance all the time and nothing was out of the ordinary until you felt a warm calloused hand slip into yours and grip just a little too tightly.

“what are you doing?” your head shoots over to look at him, you’re shocked to say the least.

“what does it look like i’m doing, idiot?” his head is turned away from you and he’s looking up but you can still see his furrowed brows and the cringe on his face.

“well, you just look really uncomfortable, and i don’t want you to-”

“make up your mind woman!” the warmth of his hand is replaced with empty air as he roughly rips his hand from yours, looking down at you angrily.

“katsuki, what are you talking about!” you stop walking and turn to face him.

“i said make up your mind! do you want me to touch you or do you not!” he flings his arms out in exasperation.

“of course i do! i’m dating you! but i’m not going to force you to!”

“if i can’t give you what you want, why are you even with me? people like me aren’t supposed to have someone like you!” it breaks your heart to hear him sound so broken and dejected. ”i heard you talking with your shitty friends about how you want me to be more affectionate”

“did you not hear me, stupid? i’m not going to force you to katsuki!” you feel yourself soften as you think of how guilty he must be feeling. “yes, it would be nice but if you’re not comfortable with it thats okay, it isn’t just about what i want”

“i just! i just don’t know how…” he trails off and averts his gaze from your face to the ground, his tense shoulders slump. you sigh, walk up to him, rest your hand on his arm, and guide him to start walking again.

“that’s okay, you don’t have to know. we can start off small, however you want, but we’ll work on it together if that's what you want?” your hand falls from his arm. you want to make sure he has his space until he’s ready.

“fine, but only because i want to!” he keeps walking, but he looks like he has more to say. “and because i love you and i want to try for you…” he mumbles, and you barely catch it but thank god you do. his words make your heart soar.

“i love you too, but you know you we’re doing a pretty good earlier, until you started yelling at me” you playful nudge him in the ribs with your elbow.

“tch, shut up woman.” he huffs out. you think that’s the end of it until you feel his knuckles brush yours, and then the weight of his fingers lacing with yours. you look up at him again but this time, instead of looking uncomfortable he has a faint blush dusting his cheeks. and maybe, just maybe the smallest hint of a smile gracing his lips.

[i-need-air]

"Dude" — Bakugou Katsuki x Reader [P.2]

Word count: 6.7k;

[ Part 1 ]; [ Masterlist ]

The new message plastered on your phonescreen earned a small smile from you. After a couple of days of sitting together at the same table due to Mei dumping your lonely ass for her babies, Mina suggested to text just to keep in contact more often. Something you did not expect was to be thrown in a group text with her and her friends.

They were absolutely hilarious; until recently they found out you had decent grades and started asking for your assistance, bugging you to join their study sessions, adding something about Bakugou being an absolute beast whenever he tutors them.

Pinky: Aww sucks that you're not coming! You're missing out Bakugou strangling Kaminari lmfao

You rolled your eyes in amusement. Why of course he'd be doing that.

What a strange little man. He really was; just as you started sitting with them, he'd mainly mind his own business, wearing his normal resting gremlin face and poking his food as if he was practicing murder just for the sake of it. First he orders you to sit with them, then he turns into an antisocial bastard most of the times. Yet, somehow, lunch with them was delightful and you found yourself looking forward to spend time with them, hear about their amusing stories and to top it all, making fun of The Great Bakugou Katsuki turned the whole event into a whole different level of fun.

As you weren't completely oblivious, his wandering eyes were really hard to miss anyway; you'd catch his gaze from time to time and he'd look away, annoyed, grunting like the man-child he actually was. Infuriating; how your heart skipped every single time it happened and how you wanted to have those deep crimson orbs on you again and again.

One thing you did not want to do was to leave Mei to the side; whenever she couldn't hang out she would inform you and you'd find something else to entertain yourself with; in occasions you did march in her workshop and sat your royal ass down without permission. Like as you did today, sitting in silence, you enjoyed the normal machinery sounds and her focused hums as she worked with you by her side. It was calming. The much needed calmness that you craved.

It's been a couple of weeks after the glorious incident and you have been noticing how your classmates, mostly the popular ones, started giving you the stink eye; your spidey-senses very much aware that it had to be Midori's doing yet the girl was keeping a very low profile. The hairs on the back of your neck rising whenever you thought about her next step because this level of radio silence was suspicious.

Between your growing interest into the blond and the dread related to your nemesis, Mei stopped her hard work to frown at you.

"Something's on your mind?" She probed, adjusting her goggles better on her head. "You're awfully quiet~"

Through a small giggle, you nodded but took some time to answer. "I guess?"

"Let me rephrase that." She cleared her throat dramatically "Someone's on your mind?"

A sharp gasp left your lips, realization kicking in; you had Hatsume Mei's full attention for the first time ever. In the workshop. Where her babies were! About to point it out, she narrowed her eyes at you, zooming onto you.

"[Y/N]." It's all she needed to say before you looked down, mind on one person in particular, not noticing how your friend smiled fondly to herself as she placed her hands on her hips; she chuckled lightly.

"Mind sharing what's funny with the class, Mei?" You asked trying to decrypt her expression still locked on you. She shrugged and shook her head, her wild pink locks moving wildly.

"OI, WERD—" the brash voice interrupted itself in reconsideration. The owner of said voice clicked his tongue and entered her workspace with indifference, looking around. "My gauntlets fixed?" He asked, curiously checking the lone couch in the corner, then turning his glare at her.

Ignoring his question, Mei's inquisitive gaze locked on him. "Are you looking for someone?"

It was as if she pressed a Total Destruction button because even the hairs on his head spiked up more than normally as he threw her a bloodshot glare.

"WHY THE FUCK WOULD I LOOK FOR [Y/N]?! I DON'T EVEN CARE WHERE—"

"I didn't mention [Y/N] at all though." she cheerily retorted, seeing his position stiffen even more.

"WHAT— WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT— WHO EVEN IS [Y/N]?!" Word-vomit took over; he was shaking at this point, panicked and cringing at his own mistake. "I'm SO FUCKING DONE with people giving me SHIT about that dumbass!" he kicked a table trying to prove a point but the girl was unimpressed.

"So you do know [Y/N]."

"YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK YOU, GOGGLES! Fucking bothersome assholes always buttin' in—" his voice started fading into the distance as he walked out, fuming with nerves.

She blinked before screaming "What about your gauntlets?" through a smile.

"OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE, GIVE ME—" he appeared once again, agitated.

A wave of lava filled your chest as she told you casually, even trying to copy the way he talked, making you laugh in exchange. You shouldn't feel that way, shouldn't you? It was ridiculous since he truly only insulted you and screamed in your general direction; well, it seems he screamed in every direction but it wasn't the point. The point was the warmth in your chest only gave you hope and the still functioning part of your brain begged to differ.

"He's a good guy." You whispered, suddently shy under Mei's knowing gaze.

And he called her Goggles too. You giggled fondly.

—

A few days later, wild gutural screams made you jolt from your desk in panic. You would've recognized that voice anywhere by now so you rushed towards the infirmary door just to find professor Aizawa and two cocoons made of his scarf behind him. His eyebrow was twitching and had a dark aura around him, eyes glowing menacingly but not directed to you.

"I'll fucking kill you—"

"But Kaccha—"

"Silence." The irritated and tired looking man said entering the room, dragging said cocoons behind him, knocking one in the door and pulling harder. You cringed, sure thinking he wasn't having a good day.

"OOF— What the shit was that?" The bundle started to shake uncontrollably which made you giggle. It stopped; halted and froze in place listening attentively as you tried to hide your laughter, trying not to annoy the teacher that seriously gave off a whole Done with life aura.

"You must be [L/N]." he pointed out, undoing one of the cocoons, a big fluffy broccoli like head appearing, big green eyes trying to focus.

"Yes, sir."

"They're beaten. Broken leg and broken rib. Can you heal them or should we wait for Recovery Girl?" The dark haired man went straight to business.

"I can handle that so no need to wait for her."

"Good. I'll leave them in your care." With a nod, he also released the blond, making him tumble and fall on his face. The poor guy groaned but bolted up with a raised fist.

"Behave." The older man said walking away, not really caring about Bakugou's heated muttering. The door shut gently and you found yourself looking at two boys; one fuming and avoiding your eyes, the other on the floor, staring up at you. His leg looked wonky so you fought back a face of discomfort before going to his aid.

"You." You pointed at Bakugou then at the bed. "Sit." A grin spread on your face as you used his words, meanwhile you leaned down to help Midoriya Izuku.

His eyes were absolutely intimidating, as if the boy tried to search within your soul as you helped him up.

"My name is [L/N] [Y/N] and I'm going to heal you today." He returned your smile with ease and nodded, his fluffy green hair shaking through the action.

"I'm—"

"Midoriya Izuku, yes. You're pretty popular, you know?" His face went all red, taken back by the fact.

Curses could be heard behind both; your hand was supporting Midoriya's weight as he only hopped ahead with his good leg, leaded towards a bed. Shuffling sounded too, still accompanied with another round of indistinguishable curses and grunts.

When the green-haired boy was securely placed, you turned towards the other, finding him sitting on the edge of the bed furthest away from Midoriya, pouting adorably.

"So you've got a broken rib, right?"

"What's it to you?" It was his turn to be a petty little shit and copy your words, still not looking up. His leg was shaking and his posture looked uncomfortable so it was not the time to get into your usual bickering.

"Lay down." He tsk-ed sharply. "Please." You pleaded, pursing your lips at his childish attitude. He finally snapped his eyes on you, just slightly widened in what could be surprise but you couldn't tell. All that mattered was that he ended up doing what you said. Though with more huffing, as if it bothered him immensely.

"Ya happy now?" He snapped.

"Very! Now—" you're taken back yet again by the intensity of those green eyes that looked between you and Bakugou with interest. "I'm gonna have to give you an anesthesic and adjust your leg back in place before healing you—"

Like a working bee, you ran around the infirmary getting your syringe ready, a little bit too nervous as two pair of eyes burned into your back.

"Where do you know each other from, Kacchan?" Izuku asked. Even if his leg hurt like a bitch, he couldn't help but be curious about the person Kacchan has been having lunch with for the past weeks; but what type of response could you get from the one and only?

"Mind your own damned fucking business!"

You sighed, irritated but the nickname didn't fly above your head. In all means, he shouldn't be screaming. He had a broken rib and he was screeching like an idiot. Didn't it hurt to even breathe?!

"Bakugou, you need to lay low and shut up."

There wasn't any time to play around; Midoriya behaved exemplary, just barely wincing at the syringe probing his knee but did not complain at all. The polar opposite of the blond beds away.

After letting the anesthetic to take effect, you moved towards the guy that's been living rent free in your head. He looked beaten up, had a bloody nose, open-wounded knuckles and shaky hands.

"Okay, I need you to relax." You whispered, trying to lift his tank-top but he stopped your wrist.

"The fuck yOu doing?!" his voice cracked momentarily while hyperventilating.

"Dude, take slow, steady breaths. In order to heal you I need to touch the skin closer to the wound." It wasn't entirely true but not exactly a lie either. After a pause for consideration he nodded but his eyes remained wary. "You've seen me do it before! Now show me where it hurts."

You needed concentration, focus, steady hands, rock-hard abs and tanned skin— Nooooo, [Y/N]!

All your might; all of it to act nonchalant and professional, to not fucking stare like a degenerate because he was absolutely built. But you couldn't help it. You couldn't help placing your palm on his ribs gently, instead of just the tip of your fingers as you normally would've needed. His sigh of relief made you incredibly giddy, feeling accomplished and fulfilled knowing you've done a great job for him. You also couldn't help healing his most visible wounds one by one instead of doing it all together in one single touch.

Were you flustered? Definitely and his attention only made it worse. You picked one of his hands and he spasmed away but ultimately gave in with a choked grunt; then grabbed the other and channeled your energy into his body.

Your heads were tilted downwards, both staring at how his knuckles healed slowly. What neither him or you noticed was how all his scratches and bruises all over him healed too, or the prying eyes of a third wheel that was already taking notes of your quirk.

"Okay." You whispered, not really wanting to let go. Your brain screamed Dishonor! but your heart skipped a beat, then another, then exploded when you lifted your gaze.

Crimson eyes looked at you in awe, wide and never this clear. They were shining too and you couldn't help but give his strong hands a squeeze, feeling in the calloused skin of his palm and wondered which one of you was shaking... He blushed then and opened his mouth, yet his brows furrowed as his focus shifted behind you.

"THE FUCK YOU STARING AT, PUNK?!"

Oh, yeah. Your other patient.

In a heartbeat you were by Midoriya's side and got to work, chest heavy and no words coming out of you. No snappy or cheeky retorts either, just trembling hands and warm cheeks. Only with murmurs you guided him through the procedure before healing him completely.

Dizziness overtook you; the downside of your quirk and something you've been training with Recovery Girl for the whole semester.

"That was amazing, [L/N]-san! Thank you!" The boy cheered, staring down at his leg in utter disbelief. His compliment made you grin, full and proud.

"Of course it was!" Your normal self surfaced.

"Fucking woo-hoo." Nevermind. Mood dropped and your face did too.

"Well, since you've been a good patient—" you start and ruffle through your bag "You get a lollipop!" Said candy was thrown in Midoriya's lap and he stared at it baffled. Meanwhile you turned towards the bane of your existence and raised a brow, shaking another lollipop in your hand. "You don't. This one is mine because I deserve it."

His angry, stupid and scandalized expression was everything you were looking for. Did you get out of your way to buy lollipops knowing Bakugou would end up in the infirmary sooner or later? Maybe. Was it worth it?

"What the fuck does that mean, dammit— I—" words caught in his throat as he choked with air, looking at the candy in your fingers with murderous intentions. Definitely worth it.

"Thank you?" Broccoli Boy asked but started unwrapping it, probably not to insult your kindness, and the whole interaction fueled Bakugou's anger. He snapped out of the bed and so did Midoriya, but one was marching towards you while the other just wanted to run away in fear, direction Exit.

"Gimme that shit!" He tried to grab it out of your grasp, but you moved away, laughing at his face.

"Midoriya has been nice and thanked me for the healing—" at this point he was boiling. "Say Thank you, [Y/N], you're amazing and awesome and—"

"LIKE FUCKING HELL IMMA SAY THAT, DUMBASS!" he was so sweet, the guy you liked; yeah, your sudden realization hit as he looked like a tomato ready to bite your head off and the only thing you could think was how adorable and sweet he was. All gurgling in rage, spitting cussed words left and right; dreamy, he was dreamy. He caught the lollipop from your hands, his scowl turning into a full blown victorious grin. So shiny... so bright... God, he was so handsome...

You're suddently falling in his arms in slow-motion, the world around you twisting and turning with him in the center of it all. Warmth engulfed your frame as you hit the most comfortable pillow of your life. His chest.

"Oi, [Y/—" he cursed, taking no time to place you on the bed with ease. "You okay?"

"W-What happened? Is she okay?" It seemed the famous Deku decided to remain for the spectacle.

"Get lost!"

Even if you wanted to pass out, his snaps wouldn't let you and with that thought you chuckled breathlessly. "I'm fine, I just need a nap after healing this much..." you assured into the air.

"Will you be okay, [Y/N]-san?" You turned your head until you spotted him and nodded through a smile but someone else answered for you.

"I see you took matters in your own hands." The sweet, gentle voice of your mentor put you to ease but scared poor Midoriya to the core as she appeared behind him at the door. Bakugou was still hovering over you in bed, not really knowing what to do. "You should leave [L/N] rest, boys." With tiny steps she walked around, not really paying any more attention to the scene.

The blond gave you a glance and pursed his lip, analyzing the candy in his hand. Through half-lidded eyes you saw him secure it in his fist and give you a nod. At this point everything was blurry.

"Thanks... or whatever." He didn't waste any time to bolt towards the door, his broad uncovered shoulders were the last thing you saw before closing your eyes in contempt.

"Kacchan, is [Y/N]-san your—?"

"MIND YOUR GODDAM—" the door shut close, making the room tremble and you giggled like a drunk fool.

—

Bakugou walked with his hands in his pockets, looking around with little interest as Dunce Face and Racoon Eyes blabbered without pause to breathe. Fuck, he was exhausted and the concept of shoving food down his throat sounded fucking fantastic. His insides turned and twisted knowing you'd be meeting them soon.

"Yo, isn't that [Y/N]?" Like a flash, his head bolted in the direction Denki pointed at and before he spotted you, the blond already wanted to punch himself in the jaw. Why the fuck is he acting like that? The answer faded in his mind as the scene unfolded in front of him.

—

"You're such a fucking bitch, you know that, [Y/N]?" Arms crossed, you placated the poor first year that was whispering behind you.

"Wow, Midori, so original." With a dead tone and rolling eyes from you, the white haired demon only twisted her face in disgust. "My feelings are hurt."

"Who do you think you are? You're a fucking nobody, [Y/N]! You think you're doing any good here? Go kill yourself!"

"And give you the satisfaction? No, not happening, you fork-tongued lizard." Your nails looked interesting.

Her pale purple eyes got ignited and her diminute frame puffed, like a rabid little mole-rat ready to bite someone. And just like that, she took a deep breath and started yapping and barking. "YOU'RE BETTER DEAD ANYWAY, YOU WHORE! YOU RUIN EVERYTHING! NOW EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT ME! ABOUT HOW YOU STOLE HIM FROM ME! DIE ALREADY!"

Sadly you didn't have any cookies on since you definitely felt like shoving one in her fanged, venomous mouth and patting her head for the effort. Your lips turned oh, so slowly into a grin, enjoying her reaction way too much.

"That's nice. Now can you like, I don't know, go back to making potions with your coven or some crap? Leave the kid alone—"

"This pathetic little shit was talking about me! ME!" her screech hurt your ears so you covered them before you turned to the kid to just see him standing there, petrified.

"Did you try to summon Satan and she appeared instea—?"

"I'M SO FUCKING DONE WITH YOUR CRAP, YOU—" she pushed you but grasped your uniform, a ripping sound following. "UGLY—" nothing prepared you to get attacked by her. "FAT—" she raised her palm. "WHORE!"

No way in hell you were going to back down, instead you clenched your jaw and got ready to block it and finish the fight. She never remotely attended to hit you in a somewhat public place as she was a careful witch, always brewing something in that rotten brain of hers and making sure to keep her sweet appearance on point for the public.

You blinked.

"That was insane!"

The scenery in front of you suddently changed with that one single blink and a tall blond mass of muscle just popped out of nowhere. It knocked the air out of your lungs for a moment and seeing him staring down at her with such hatred, holding her wrist high in the air made you feel immense relief, much to your own surprise.

Were you that tense before?

"Midori-chan, I didn't know you were this rotten." Kaminari appeared in your field of vision too but got ignored by the girl. Her only goal was to free herself from Bakugou's grip but he wouldn't bulge.

"Y-You got it all wrong, Bakugou-s-san!"

Everyone stood there silent, utterly disgusted with her attempt to even try to twist reality.

"Don't even fucking think about it." He warned and those words rumbled deep, threat held within.

"We heard it all, Midori." You shook in place, twisting to see Mina by the kid's side, patting his back. After being used to seeing her easy-going attitude it was only natural to be amazed by her somber tone and serious manner.

Why were you so relieved? kept creeping in your mind. Why?

He then threw her wrist out of his grasp and bared his teeth in her direction, globes so bloodshot scrutinizing her. He oozed rage and fury and was combusting in place. But he did not scream. Bakugou Katsuki did not scream for once when he started talking, instead he growled his words, each with care and clarity.

"If i ever fucking hear you talking like that to anyone ever again I will— fucking— break you." you could hear his teeth grit, the sound making you shiver both in terror and excitement. "NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE! I BETTER NOT FUCKING SEE YOU OR HEAR ABOUT YOU EVER AGAIN!" she yelped, fluttering her tears away and scurrying so fast it could've been comical.

Bakugou then spun to study you, chest raising and falling heavily. You couldn't descypher his appearance at the moment; there was the aggravation, the outrage, the burning flame in his orbs but also... Uncertainty? Guilt? Shame? It wiped off his face before you could figure it out.

"We're taking him to talk to a professor about what happened." Mina's voice faded in the distance. He nodded at Kaminari, who was behind you, and got a nod in response plus a pair of thumbs up, and with that they were gone.

He still tried to control himself, but as soon as you parted your lips to say anything at this point, he snarled into the nothingness. "THAT FUCKING BITCH—"

"Bakugou..."

"FOR HOW LONG?" he then screamed at you, malice gone but tone just as rough and loud.

"For how long what?" You said calmly while also noticing and adjusting the ripped sleeve of your uniform. He ran his palm over his face, eyeing it too.

"For how fucking long has this been going?"

"Oh, her—" there was this pressure to say it out loud, to confirm what it really was, like saying it out loud would give it weight, importance...

"Her bullshit, yeah." he didn't force it either, thankfully.

"Since we were in middle-school." you shrugged, chest and neck aching without an apparent reason. You cleared your throat.

"Stop that— Stop that fucking shit. Don't do that." He got close to you in a single step and you had to look up at him, feeling so small out of a sudden by his side. You smiled, as you taught yourself to do whenever things got tough.

"Do what?" It came out shaky, too shaky for your own taste but he was so close.

"Act like it doesn't fucking matter! Like it's no big fucking deal!" His breath fanned your face.

"I mean..." you started shrugging again but he stopped the action, palms holding your shoulders in place as he gave you a pissed off look. "It doesn't really matt—"

"YES, IT FUCKING DOES!"

His fingers held you in the spot as he inspected your features with a clenched jaw and classic furrowed brow. Flames erupted in your ribcage at his words and you couldn't even breathe anymore.

You licked your lips, not sure if you could say the next words but the fact that he focused on the action too attentively gave you the push needed. "What's it to you?"

His breath hitched, fanning over your face as he stiffened. Deep crimson waved between your own orbs and your lips—

Those flames? The flames that burned your inside? They were spreading throughout your body rapidly, the epicenter at the spot where his thumb caressed your skin at the edge of your shoulder, just touching the start of your collarbone. Even through the layer of fabric you felt it, as tiny as it was, but he did not do anything, just stood there with red tinted cheeks in daze. Much like you were.

"Thank you for saving me today, Bakugou." You whispered and he just nodded, still enthralled with your lips. At least you knew he was somewhat still there with you. Involuntarily, you bit your lower lip, just a little, smiling softly, taking the smallest step towards him; the corner of his lip turned up slightly—

"[Y/N]! Director Nezu wants to talk to you too!"

The spell was broken; you yelped into him, grabbing his shirt for support and checked your surroundings. A waving hand caught your attention; Kaminari was signaling you to go to him then froze and started running away; little did you know someone was sending him a death glare.

You cleared your throat, still warm and fuzzy from head to toe and separared from the blond that caught you in his arms. Bakugou seemed to have noticed the position too because he jerked away a step back and looked completely out of place.

Ridiculous. And hilarious, looking anywhere but you and still made no attempt to move. Neither did you, instead opting to hide a giggle.

Because you felt warm, tingly, all while he was a complete gremlin, sweet in his own personalized way, in which he cared for you, he defended you.

And you're in disbelief because how come this guy, this adorable, blushing porcupine with anger issues made you feel so soft and fragile? How did you end up in this situation and how can you stay in it forever?

"What's so fucking funny, hah?" There wasn't any bite to what could've been an aggressive wording, just hidden tenderness. He fought a smile too and had the audacity to try to act annoyed. Sadly, you had to go, so you shook your head and took a step back.

Bakugou understood, so he nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"I'll see how later, ok?" You promised and he glanced at you from the corner of his eye. Now you had his ear in full view for you to see the tips reddened too. You want to melt, even coo at the sight, but you really did have to go. However, you couldn't leave without sending him a cheeky smile.

"Yeah, whatever." His jaw sinked a little in the collar of his shirt as he stomped away too.

—

The whole afternoon was spent talking to a counselor and to the principal himself about a problematic individual. The first year student was encouraged by your new friends to report it as they escorted him to safety and soon an internal investigation started; maybe, possibly because of you.

Why were you so relieved?

Because they listened to you. Because they believed you. Because you didn't have to prepare yourself every single morning to take verbal hits from all directions. Because you've been given a voice, unlike your old school where everything was brushed off; "It's your word against hers" and much more bullshit. No, this time was real and they proved it by listening to every single word you said.

You were dropped at your dorms just before 9 P.M. and it was too late to meet anyone at the point. But it wasn't important; the moment you landed on your bed a smile broke on your face, a few tears fell and you had the best sleep in forever.

—

The air changed. The aura around your class switched. Midori was clearly missing, which instantly turns a bad day into a fantastic one, but it wasn't only that. Students were called, one by one, again and again interrupting class and took hours to come back. Meanwhile the Divas in particular looked concerned, another great view to enjoy now and until the rest of time.

It was obvious why this was happening and you never felt this much peace and satisfaction. Even so, you started to feel overwhelmed because people suddently started greeting you. The people that weren't in Midori's toxic and constricted entourage.

They said your name! Without hatred! The school's goldenboy's name, Kaminari Denki, was dropped again and again too. It seems he just casually started mentioning what he witnessed the day before and you suddently felt the need to hug him tight. Gossip spread like wild fire thanks to him, after all.

Maybe you fell into a parallel universe but you couldn't bring yourself to care, you just waltzed on the hallways after the bell rang, wanting to go get some food, then hide at Mei's workshop for some recharging. Another part of you wanted to meet the explosive boy too, though.

In all honesty, it didn't matter where you ended. You were in an incredible mood.They talked to you and it was exhausting but nice!

Was this what it felt in horror movies when the demon-child with rotating head and projectile vomit was finally exorcized? Was the curse really released for good?

As you floated in the skies, high on life and what-not, you turned the corner just to run nose straight into a wall. Your brain decided to take a break for the day, it seems, and you genuinely hoped nobody saw you march head first into— It wasn't a wall, but a boy that gave you a raised brow and narrowed eyes.

"Watch where the fuck you're going, dumbass."

"Great to see you too!" you chippered, walking around him, knowing for a fact his attitude wouldn't be able to piss you off—

"What's with the idiotic expression?" Nevermind, he can go fuck himself. Yet you smiled because you're a Godsend angel and that's what winged saints do.

"Just really happy." You shrugged, walking away with ease and tried to bite a bigger smile off your face when you noticed him turning to walk with you. "What are you doing on this side of the campus?" You inquired.

"Came to walk you to lunch or whatever." Well, damn, that made you halt in surprise. He's behind you, staring out the window with disinterest but froze when he saw your dumbfounded face. "WHAT? IT WAS IN MY WAY, OK? Want me to leave? I can leave! You can fuck off—" You placated your hands and started laughing.

"No, no—" Your eyes glint. "It's really sweet of you." You said, awaiting his reaction with mischief.

He first choked on air, like one normally does, and then showed the worst allergic reaction to mere words. "SW—! THAT'S NOT— I'M NOT— YOU— I— NO—" in no time you're crackling like a deranged witch, adoring every single second of the show he was pulling. He was basically howling and your laughter actually infuriated him more.

"FUCK OFF!" Your amusement calmed down as you studied him, his puffed cheeks, red eyes avoiding you; with a few stomped steps he placed himself ahead of you but made no attempt to stand you up and go be a hermit somewhere else.

Bakugou Katsuki. Ash blond hair, broad back, pink ears... Swears like a sailor, is all bark and and all bite, except with his friends. Has a big heart...

"Something strange is happening." You find yourself saying.

"Hah?" He glances back.

"People have been acting weird." That stops him.

"They better not be fucking messin' with you—"

"No, on the contrary, they're nice to me..." you assured, voice faint as his comment repeated in your mind and your chest warmed up once again because of him.

They better not be fucking messin' with you.

"Good." He says and you can't bite your tongue.

"You're a good guy, Bakugou."

He gives you a face. "Hah? Now you fucking notice?!" But he's grinning at the end of the sentence, cocky and so full of himself and you'd lie if you said you didn't consider him incredibly handsome. Although it seems he did not get the message.

"No. I mean it for real. You really are a good guy." He grunts like he hurt himself in his own confusion, staring stupidly at you, slightly blushing. "You're gonna be such a great hero too." Mouth agape to try to answer, he just gives you plate eyes and nothing else. On the other hand you genuinely expected more explosive reactions but this seemed to have broken him for some good seconds. He stared and watched and stood there like an idiot in front of you, making you want to both bury yourself in your own embarrassment and laugh at him.

You opted to look up at the ceiling, flustered and amused, yesterday's events suddently washing over you; they never really left your thoughts but now all the feelings decided to come visit once again.

"Oi—" he better not ruin it. "Wh— The fuck you kissing my ass for?!" You breathe out, long and loud for him to understand how stupid he sounded and stalked ahead; only food could save the day he's been actively ruining and that's what you were gonna get. He followed your rushed steps with cusses and questions until he grabbed your wrist to slow your pace. "Slow down, dumbass!"

The issue was that his obnoxiously loud voice caught then attention of some students that were just minding their own business.

"Is that Bakugou Katsuki?" Earning a groan from him as if it wasn't his fault!

"—with [L/N] [Y/N]?"

"Are they holding hands?!"

"So they're really together?" You cringe in embarrassment.

"Is that a confession?!" No, no, absolutely not happening. You rush out of the scene, gut burning, the boy on your toes cursing and mumbling whatevers but you didn't reach far until he talks. At least he had the decency of stopping you at an empty spot before giving you a heart attack.

"This is when you confess— or some fucking— dumb shit like that." Even without seeing him, back turned and absolutely petrified, you heard the cocky vibration in his tone that was sprinkled with some light stuttering.

Son of a bitch. That prinkly ass cocky fuck. That absolutely handful of a sea urchin—

You checked the closest stairway, your nearest exit and pathway to your salvation but something in that attitude of his just made you shake as you covered your face and laugh.

"You're... You're the worst." You mumble in disbelief but the grin that almost broke your face got even bigger as he choked and inhaled sharply.

"Hah?! Wasn't I the fucking best a minute ago?!"

"I did not say tha—"

"Same shit!" He bites when you glanced on him through your fingers. Your skin was burning so hot it would've been mortifying if he didn't look just as rattled. The view managed to calm your nerves and spike them at the same time.

"You're the worst..." Finally uncovering your face, he takes in your grin and visibly calms his fuming yet remains just as discomposed. "—and I like you."

Still, you cover your mouth because the blond in front of you started combusting and it was glorious to watch. Hell, you felt like grabbing a snack and watching him go through all those feelings that slapped his face on repeat. First his eyes widened, the teasing from before forgotten, then his skin, already splashed with red transformed completely into the same color, so deep it in resemblance with his eyes, eyes that were reading into you intensely. He went rigid too and as time passed and passed and he did not move, the only thing left was to break him out of his misery. Yes, break him.

"This is when you say it back."

He snapped. "I— DON'T FUCKING— DON'T FUCKING MAKE ME SAY EMBARRASSING SHIT LIKE THAT!" Birds flew away in one mile radius, windows trembled, your eardrums cried for mercy and you hid your smile because even through deafening volume, Bakugou Katsuki did not deny it. A zoo totally high on crystal meth started a revolution in your insides and the feeling threatened to burst out at any moment.

This is it. This ball of emotional constipation was taking your breath away while cussing you after you confessed and all you wanted to do was to squeal... What have you become?

But you said nothing, just stared with your hand covering your mouth, taking in the boy that looked like he wanted to throw fists with you, bared teeth and all, and also simultaneously die of a stroke.

"I—" he tried, you had to give him credit because he really did try. Like a challenge, like he wasn't going to back down, he gave his best and not without looking like it killed him inside. "F—" cuss word got stuck in his throat when you couldn't help a scoff. Suddently the show comes to an end when he halts, gives you a glare and takes a deep breath. For a moment you feared he'd walk away. Oh, how wrong you were because deep down you had to know he did not back down easily.

"I like— you, too." Beautiful words came out of his mouth, looking like it physically pained him to say them. "THERE, I SAID IT! YOU FUCKING HAPPY NOW?!" He howls indignantly, crossing his arms, trying to hide his clear flustered self yet it takes him one glance at you to return to his self induced stroke. "Don't fucking make that dumb fucking face—" he struggled to exist. "Don't look at me like that, dammit!"

You giggle, relieved and happy and in all honesty about to cry a tiny bit. You couldn't help it, enamored with how blissful this moment was. Bakugou stops his grunts and watches you in awe, small, minuscule grin taking over his face and he clicks his tongue, trying to fight it.

And deflects, as always.

"C'mon. Have to walk you there before you get lost or some shit like that." You breathe in and nod, even thought you were perfectly capable of walking to the cafeteria as you've done it for a year and some now.

"Okay."

"You'd be starving if it weren't for me." You snort and roll your eyes, but beam like a lovestruck idiot.

"Sure thing, dude." It instantly earns a grunt, then a pout, followed by grumbles and heavy feet by your side. You check on him, noticing his shrugged shoulders and tinted nose and you almost trip with your own legs because of it. He doesn't say anything for the longest time, which you didn't mind as you yourself needed some time to shoo away the butterflies and rainbows that floated all around in your very empty head. It wasn't until you almost reached the cafeteria that he stops you by the arm and looks away.

"You— You shouldn't call your boyfriend dude, dumbass."

Remember the butterflies? Now they're radioactive and fluttering around, crazed and disoriented.

"Says the one that calls me a dumbass, Bakugou." You relent, thankful he took the initiative to answer the question that lingered in the air throughout all the walk.

A wild flush takes over him and he refuses to turn toward you, just observing from the corner of his eyes.

"It's— It's Katsuki to you, dumbass." And he drags you inside without giving you a chance to process it. But when you do, you grin like mad and whisper just as you were manhandled through the door, preparing yourself for his explosive gargling and screaming and silently apologizing to everyone in your general proximity.

"Okay, Kacchan~"

Note: Thank you for reading and for any sweet mesages! I read each and every one of them and they make me so incredibly happy!! I would like to point out that the phone editor switches around paragraphs and it's very confusing. I edited some mistakes and for now it's good but I'm scared it wasn't fixed since I edited before too and I encounter the same problem again... If you find something off, could you please let me know? I want the reading to be enjoyable for everyone after all. Thank you again! 💕

[pascalpanic]

Blood, Sweat, and Tears (Javier Peña x f!Reader)- Chapter One

Summary: You live in Bogotá in the ‘90s, and work odd hours. No, you’re not a DEA agent, but a nurse. These odd hours prompt odd habits, like working out at 2:03 A.M. after a shift. Odd hours attract odd people, and you have a chance encounter with one DEA agent by the name of Javier Peña. Warnings: language, blood and violence (both graphic), descriptions of death and gun violence Chapter 1 W/C: 2.3K A/N: you guys! I am so in love with this fic. I already have quite a bit more written and can’t wait for you to read it! I hope you love it as much as I do! Javi deserves some softness... but not too much. this can’t all be fluff when you’re Javier Peña. Okay, this is not super canon-fitting of Narcos, I’m just gonna be honest with y’all. This is between the time of Escobar’s escape from La Catedral and his final capture and death, but also… Connie’s still in Colombia. Additionally, I don’t really have a year in mind, it’s just somewhere in that period. Please note that this is not a very lighthearted story- it begins with a death, though not of a significant character. Javier and reader both have some trauma, so please check the warnings of each chapter before you start reading. If you’re continuing on, I hope you like it! For the most part, if I use italics here when someone is speaking, it’s indicating that it’s in Spanish. I’m okay at the language, but I don’t want to butcher anything, so… just imagine it. Otherwise, it’s just the way anyone would use italics I guess.

next chapter

Chapter One

You watched a woman you didn’t know die in your arms tonight.

 She was beautiful, all dressed up to go out and party, her makeup running down her face with tears. Her lips were the painted the color of the blood that trickled from the side of them, eyes glazing over as she coughed and coughed and ruined the beautiful dress she wore. The nurses had asked what happened, and she had told them, through gurgles of blood: she had slept with one of Escobar’s men. She got too close, learned too much, and they tracked her down. 

She flatlined not long after telling the nurses around you. You had stood in the corner, paralyzed at first. You were an experienced ER nurse, nothing was new. You had seen patients die, but something about her was different. Maybe it was the way she reached out to you right before her body went limp. You didn’t make it to her bedside in time to calm her, the panic holding you down, but you finally took her hand right as she took her last breath. 

After she passed, you threw up in the bathroom, shaking and clutching the toilet. The night air had grown unbearably hot and humid, causing your scrubs to cling to your skin, and the sweat from the heaving of your stomach didn’t make things easier on you. Lorena, a fellow nurse and your best friend at work, had found you and comforted you, rubbing your back and bringing you water. It didn’t matter. It couldn’t reverse what had happened. 

Now, you sit on a bench in the staff’s locker room, redoing the ponytail holding your hair from your damp face. Your shift ended a few minutes ago, but you don’t know what to do now. You don’t feel like drinking; that would only make the visions swimming in your head worse. You know you can’t go home, can’t attempt to find sleep tonight. You look up and spot a bag with tennis shoes and spare clothing and settle your mind on at least one thing: the gym could do you some good. You change into the clothes and put the blood-spattered scrubs in the laundry pile. 

As you leave, you give Lorena a little wave goodbye and exit the building. You’re hyper-aware of your surroundings tonight, and you groan as you look at your watch and notice that it’s precisely 2:09 A.M. here in Bogotá. The walk to your fitness club is short, but your step is slightly extra hurried and your hand is on your pepper spray the entire time, extra vigilant to the fact that a hit went down somewhere around here just a few hours earlier. Surprisingly enough, no one catcalls or bugs you tonight. 

The little gym is run-down and dilapidated, and there’s no working air conditioning, but it’s the only one near you. You paid the small monthly membership fee to gain access, and you were going to use it to get in shape, you’d decided. As you swipe in and enter, the tiny fitness center looks more depressing in the fluorescent lights, no daylight to sugarcoat the atrocities of the center. There are two of every machine, a punching bag and a speed bag, two weightlifting racks, and a couple of benches. 

It’s nice that you get to work out alone tonight, you tell yourself. Even better is the fact that you now get to control the music. Desperate for a taste of home, you flip the large boombox in the corner on and begin scanning the airwaves with the dial. There’s a station in town that plays American music, and you need it more than anything tonight. You listen carefully and nearly start sobbing again as you hear Billy Joel’s voice through the speakers. With a sigh of relief, you lock your bag in the rusty lockers in the corner and head to the treadmill. It’s a beat up old thing, but this is the one you always use. It provides a little bit of comfort tonight, the familiarity of it. You turn it on low and start walking. A few moments later, you up it to a jog, mouthing along to the words of the familiar song. 

As the song ends, you push the buttons enough to enter a running speed. Your feet slam into the treadmill harder than normal tonight, feeling as overwhelmed as when you left the hospital. Your body finally works up a sweat, the physical stress overwhelming the mental stress. 

As the events of tonight replay in your head to some other song from the late 80’s, your eyes start to water. Everything was so overwhelming, and your mind is just starting to process it. You finally allow the tears to fall, mixing with the sweat coating your cheeks. It’s hard to tell which is causing more of the mess, but you let yourself cry it out as you run for the next few minutes. 

The next song that comes on is Venus by Bananarama. You almost chuckle at the fact that it’s a few years old by now, but the song is comforting. It reminds you of home, of a time before you had issues like these. You slow down the treadmill a little, singing to the words aloud once you catch your breath enough. Daring to do a little spin on the rolling surface, you groove along to the music, chuckling a little

After the first chorus, you hear a creaking noise and whip around to find a man standing in the doorway. “Jesus fucking Christ!” You shout before you can stop yourself, hopping off the treadmill and onto the non-moving one before you get flung off. Your heart is pounding from the running, only intensifying the adrenaline rush from the scare. 

The man chuckles a little, but the smile on his face doesn’t reach his eyes. He’s tired- of course he is, it’s now 2:30 in the morning. “Lo siento,” you offer in Spanish, cringing at yourself and your reaction just now. “I wasn’t expecting anyone else to be here this late,” you stutter, still panting from the running. He shakes his head lightly. “You’re American,” he says simply. In English, in a beautifully American accented voice.

Your sweaty brow furrows, a glimmer of hope sparking inside your chest as you notice that he speaks like an American himself. “So are you.”

He nods at that. “That I am,” he says as he puts his things in a locker, snapping it shut behind him. He looks at you for a moment. You’re not working at the Embassy, or he’d know you. It was rare to find an American down here that wasn’t working for the government somehow. He shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair, looking at how tired he appears in the big mirrored wall. He’s curious, but he’s exhausted. 

You look at him for a moment. “You going to explain anything, like, tell me about yourself? Or do I have to go first?” You ask, hands on your waist as you hop back on the slowly moving treadmill, back into moving. He doesn’t respond. “Fine. I know you’re government. I’m not an idiot.”

He chuckles and tugs on his t-shirt, moving to the treadmill next to you and getting on. It’s been ages since you’ve held a conversation in English, and you missed this, missed how easily your first language flows from your mouth. “And you’re not.”

“Correct,” you nod, turning up the speed a little on the machine until you’re at a light jog. “My bigger concern was going to be why you’re here at 2-fucking-30, but I’m guessing I know the answer. You get called in around here for the hit?” He nods, starting the treadmill up and walking on it. 

“You don’t have to be so guarded, Jesus. I fucking hate Escobar, I’m on your side,” you scoff before turning up the machine until you’re running once more.

Javier shrugs. “Makes sense. How did you know-”

“She died,” you say quickly and firmly, keeping your eyes straight ahead and looking at the room around you. “Add that to your file.”

He nods, understanding a little more now. You knew her somehow. He doesn’t say a word either, cranking up the machine and heading into a jog too.

A few more minutes pass of the two of you silently running next to each other, the American music still playing throughout the gym. It’s a comfort to Javier too. Tonight was shit for the DEA- they had known Escobar’s men would be around here. They had the intel, they had everything ready, but the men somehow had escaped and left a victim in their wake. 

The frustration of everything, of the man being something close to home for you yet being a brick wall, threatens your eyes with welling tears again. “I just wanted to talk with an American,” you sigh and cross your arms, moving back into the walking stage of a treadmill. 

The man next to you gives a similar sigh, stopping his treadmill completely and offering you a hand. “Javier Peña.” You take it reluctantly, feeling the sweat of both of your hands mix, and tell him your name before retracting it and stopping the treadmill too. “So, what brings you to the gym at 2:30?” He asks, crossing his arms and leaning against the center part of the treadmill. 

“I’m a nurse. I work the graveyard shift. Bad night, a patient died because she got fucking shot for having a boyfriend and not knowing he was a narco, I need to get something out, I come here,” you shrug, unconsciously mimicking him by folding your arms as well. 

He nods at that. “I’m here for the same. Shitty stakeout, I’m pissed off, I come here.” He leaves out the part about his favorite call girl being taken, and how he needed another way to get the rage inside of him out. He walks off of the treadmill and to the weight rack, pulling a bench beneath the bar.

You turn again and turn the machine back on, slowly jogging. “I see. Odd hours to be here, that’s why I asked,” you say simply. “And to see another American at such a time. I haven’t interacted with one since I came here.”

Javier nods, adjusting the weights on the bar. “Yeah. Weird,” he nods. “And that you’re an American who isn’t working for the government and you’re down here. What, you got a husband who works for us?”

You shake your head, swallowing hard for a moment. “No, don’t have a husband in the first place,” you admit, adjusting the ponytail holding your hair up. “It’s a long story.”

“We got time,” he shrugs as he gets on the bench beneath the rack, looking at you in the mirrored wall. Even with the sweat and the stress of working out, he notices that you’re gorgeous. You have a nice body, and even your face is pretty while you’re working out.

You shake your head. “Fine, if you really want to hear it.”

“Might as well. It’s that or more of this fucking Wham! music, and I’m sick of George Michael.”

“First of all, first person here gets the music, so mind your manners.” This finally earns a chuckle from the man, and you want to smile but it just can’t come. “I came down here with a man. He’s a citizen here. We were going to get married, but he left me. That was a couple of months ago now,” you admit, the tears beading in the corner of your eye again. “My work visa was still valid, and I renewed it so I can keep working at the hospital. I don’t really have anyone down here except the girls I work with, but I like helping out. They need me.” He nods a little as he listens, breaking his focus as he starts his reps with the bar.

“And you’re government, so that explains everything I need to know about you,” you continue to babble. “One of the girls I work with has a husband who’s at the Embassy. Murphy,” you say offhandedly. 

Javier’s attention is caught, and he sets the bar on the rack. “Murphy?” He asks, and you turn your head to look at him and give him a nod. “No shit. That’s my partner.”

You chuckle slightly and look back at him, stopping the treadmill. “So you know Connie?”

Javi nods. “Yeah, great gal. She could do better than Steve,” he says, sitting up.

You laugh softly at that. “From what I’ve heard of him, I agree. She’s a really great girl, you’re right,” you nod in agreement, looking back at him. “She’s never mentioned you. She says her husband’s in janitorial, but we all know that’s not true. What, you guys CIA? DEA?”

Javier nods again. “DEA.”

“I see,” you say, folding your arms and leaning against the machine. “Can’t make you many friends around here. I learned pretty quickly to keep my mouth shut about being a gringa. They can usually tell though.”

“You’re right,” he chuckles and cracks his back.

You bite your lip as you look at him, your voice watery when you can finally speak again, suddenly overwhelmed by emotion again. “It’s nice to talk to someone in English again,” you admit with a forced smile. 

He can read your eyes easily. You’re a nurse, and you told him that the victim died. You saw it. “It is,” he nods, reading your pain and trying to show you he empathizes with it. Your eyes are beautiful, he notices as he looks into them. So much more hope and trust than anyone else he works with, but the pain in them is unbearable. He looks away, leaning back on the bench to lift again.

“So where you from in the States?” You finally ask when the silence is too long. 

“Laredo, Texas,” he chuckles. “Yourself?”

[doctorbunny]

MILGRAM theory time: Haruka!

This isn't going to go super in depth (famous last words) but there's a few heavily debated parts of Haruka's MV I want to share my findings/thoughts on because I think this is my new special interest and during my quest to get best boy's song to 1 million views I have been looking over his first MV with a fine tooth comb so to speak.

Disclaimer: As the Jackalope said in the "This is the MILGRAM" trailer, we don't necessarily know everyone's crime from just the first video, its possible that a lot of things will be re-contextualized in the second MV, however I am not psychic or bilingual and thus will only be working with content released before August 20th 2021 and translated into English (which could cause some language/cultural details to be lost on me as translation is not a 1 to 1 process).

TW for discussions of ableism, child abuse, murder and animal death. Also this is really long so sorry to all the people that follow me for non-MILGRAM stuff

Firstly, I want to start on the topic of Haruka as a person. He is disabled. He does not have 'the mind of a child' (although he is 17, making him legally a minor in both North America and Japan). He is not just 'child-like'. And he is not mentally ill (well he might be, in the sense that many disabilities like Haruka's have strong comorbidities [where a person has two or more conditions but neither directly causes the other] with anxiety, depression and PTSD, but usually when I see people talk about him 'struggling with mental illness' they go on to refer to aspects of his disability). Sometimes on tumblr, people like myself, will see canonical traits written into a character and identify them as being traits associated with our disabilities/mental illness and headcanon them as such. Sometimes this even involves saying things like "It's basically canon!" Although we understand that these characters were probably not the result of a writer intending to write a disabled person. When I say that Haruka is being written as a person with a neurodevelopmental disability, I mean the writer intended to write a disabled character and wrote them in a way that they wanted the audience to pick up on. As an autistic person (which is one of many neurodevelopmental disorders and also something I probably didn't have to specify because who else would be writing an essay about a series they got into a few days ago at 11 o'clock at night) I really like how Haruka has been written so far. There's definitely some parts of him that have been exaggerated so abled normies can pick up on his disability (namely how his MV 's main motif is really child-like drawings) but the writers also included a lot of smaller details I appreciate like how it is noted he avoids eye contact when talking to other people and is depicted as nervously pulling at his sleeves in official artwork, or how he says he finds his prison uniform (which has tight straps) 'relaxing' and when he gets nervous/tense, he will dig his fingernails into the palm of his hands. (These last two potential being examples of 'self stimulation' [aka stimming] where a person seeks out specific sensory stimuli in order to help regulate their nervous system/emotions, in this case the tight uniform creates a comforting, secure feeling [you may have heard about some people preferring to sleep under weighted blankets for this reason] and digging nails into his palms sounds uncomfortable/painful but is done in an attempt to deal with a greater sensory discomfort caused by the situation/environment) I also appreciate the depth he is written with, he struggles to communicate verbally but in his MV and interactions with other inmates is shown to have insecurities, opinions and a consistent thought process (this is all basic character stuff but unfortunately not always present in disabled characters)

Also I want to add that (in terms of what we've been shown so far) Haruka did not kill anyone because of his disability/mental illness. Disabled people are not inherently more innocent than abled people. But there is no disability/mental illness where a symptom is that you kill people and real people have to live with the stigma when you speak carelessly and suggest things like "Haruka is the kind of mentally ill person who kills people as a cry for help" 🧂 (or at the very least real people have to read BS like that and cringe). TL;DR Haruka is less child-like and more onion-like (as in, he has layers) 🧅🧅🧅

Now is the actual theory stuff, oops:

Every prisoner in MILGRAM is supposed to have committed murder in some way, obviously considering Yuno just had an abortion (which i personally do not consider an act of murder) whilst Mu literally stabbed someone to death, this definition is stretched a bit. But it is not agreed upon yet who Haruka killed/how many people he killed or why he killed.

In his MV he is shown to have chased after his dog into a forest, seen something off-screen, then beaten something into a messy pulp with a rock. Some people think the dog is a red herring and that Haruka actually killed his mother/the girl from the fireworks show/his brother. I do not agree.

First: I believe Haruka when he says he doesn't have a brother. The MV literally starts by Haruka looking in the mirror and then switching between the him now

and a really similar looking younger child who just so happened to be a key feature of his memories (I don't have the vocabulary to explain it but its like cinematic parallels that establish this is the same person at different points of their life)

Its not impossible that this is Haruka's secret younger brother, but i think its unlikely. I saw someone saying they had to be different people because Haruka looks less happy than the child but like, most 17 year olds are less visibly happy than when they were 7 (or however old the child is meant to be). Life happens.

So when Haruka is shown pushing the child around and eventually strangling him, this isn't meant to be literal (homicide or suicide), but a representation of how conflicted Haruka feels about his younger self, who may have committed the murder (if you've ever been kept awake cringing at memories of something you said in the past and wishing you could go slap some sense into your former self, this is like that but 10 times more self loathing). The lyric "I am always repeating yesterday," implies he might think about this specific past event a lot.

Moving on, its pretty well accepted that Haruka's parents were abusive in some way and Haruka internalised a lot of it: he constantly apologises, he says in his interrogation questions that his one wish come true is that "[he] want[s] to be loved" and describes in his MV how when he couldn't find the words he was looking for ("you're unfair") one of his parents "would get angry at me and say “You’re hopeless.”". He seems to know its unfair but also still says he 'loves' his family, possibly mistakenly believing it is his fault, but also showing an awareness of his situation (and how his parents might behave).

Now, the MV is stylised in a way that makes certain details unclear, but there is one clear detail showing that Haruka's dog was killed

This is the first close up of Haruka and the dog. Haruka's mother is just out of frame supervising, but they look pretty happy. Notice how the puppy has a silvery chain for a collar. Somehow, this dog gets out of the house but only Haruka is shown chasing after it (whether his mother was searching elsewhere or didn't bother following her disabled son into the forest is unclear). Either way, young Haruka is now in the forest, unsupervised.

By the time he finds the dog, there is already blood, suggesting it was initally attacked by something else.

is this a sigh of relief from a boy whose finally found his beloved pet or a jealous weakling glad that nature took its course and he is finally free of that meddling mutt stealing all his mummy's attention? /j

I think this shock at the discovery that 'there is blood on his hands' could imply that rather than literally getting the blood from his dog, Haruka has seen his already injured dog and realises that if the dog got out because of him (he is previously shown to be aware his parents seem to blame him for everything) then he is the reason his dog is injured/dying and will be blamed for it. (this scene plays over the lyrics "It’s fine, though it’s really not It’s really fine, though I don’t really think so When I tried to understand it, You’ll make that disappointed face again" suggesting he is trying to avoid making his parents disappointed and letting the family pet escape into danger is something that could make them very disappointed)

now we get into rock murder (this is present-day Haruka implying that this is either: not how the scene really played out; the writers really wanting the audience to know that this was Haruka's doing and not someone else's; or this turns into a separate incident that happened much later [although note that the red sky and blue moon is the same as when young Haruka first appears at the start])

b the corpse is beyond mangled now, but its clearly the dog because the silver chain collar is still there, to the right of the body. (circled in red for your convenience :3)

My hypothesis is: Haruka didn't set out to kill his dog, but upon finding it injured (we don't know the severity aside from bleeding and also it not being able to run away from Haruka kneeling down above it w/ a big rock so it could range from treatable with a lot of vet help to already on death's door, TBH I don't think Haruka would know the difference) He knew he'd be blamed for this; made into a villain who let the poor puppy come to harm. He panicked and killed the dog out of some idea that it would make him the victim here (since he'd be found crying over a dog corpse, which might make a parent go comfort him rather than getting angry about what could've happened to the dog). This is over the lyrics: "I cried, I screamed I wanted to be a pitied and loved weakling I was in denial, I was in denial I just had to make sure I’ve become a victim, I’ve become a victim" (there's another theory that he was also jealous of the dog, which could work here too, since this is not some calculated plot; rather its a rash decision) This ties in with his Japanese song title (translated as Weakness) which is a play on a phrase sort of like "The strong eat, the weak do not" to become "The weak are eaten by society" or "The weak eat each other to survive" [once again I am reminding everyone this is based on second hand information from the youtube comments section (from users mitchki and Alphaistic) because I do not speak Japanese] This second meaning (The weak eat each other to survive) makes sense under the reading that Haruka killed his dog in order to 'survive' making his parents disappointed for the dog escaping.

Miscellaneous points:

We don't know where Haruka's necklace came from yet, it must be a gift since the most expensive thing he's ever bought was cotton candy. The younger child in the video isn't wearing it and neither is his mother or the girl in the purple dress.

Haruka's home seems quite big, at the start we can see a large flower garden outside the window and there's a forest in walking distance. This might suggest his family is quite wealthy

Haruka probably did go to school at some point as homeschooling is not a legally accepted as an alternative to public schools in Japan. (However it is estimated that up to 5000 families homeschool, this is uncommon) A lot (about 62%) of Japanese schools apparently have a 'special needs' classes and there are about 505 schools focused on educating intellectually disabled students (although I do not know which sort Haruka would've needed as whilst intellectual and development disabilities can be comorbid they aren't the same). Now, if children aged 7-14 don't go to school, their parents receive a fine, but its possible that if Haruka's parents are wealthy, they just paid it to avoid sending him to school. (This might imply they wanted to hide him or were generally ashamed of him in some way) However high school education (for students over 14) is not legally required and its likely that even if Haruka went to elementary/middle school, he hasn't been around people his own age in at least 3 years. As he seems quite lonely and glad that the other prisoners give him attention.

I don't think Haruka's parents are divorced and if they are, its not his father who left. Haruka mentions in the 30 questions that he thinks he disappointed his father. But still includes him as part of his family ("My father and mother and me"). A theory I've seen is that his father was disappointed by his son being disabled and left. but developmental disabilities (especially in non verbal and semi verbal children like Haruka) can be diagnosed before the age of 3, so I feel it is unlikely that Haruka would bring up his father if he left that early in Haruka's life

All MILGRAM prisoners have covered one of DECO*27's older vocaloid songs (DECO*27 is a well known producer who composes the music for MILGRAM) Haruka covered 'Two Breaths Walking' (https://youtu.be/puXLfVWrz2Q) which is about a boy's first relationship and how his mother's jealousy set him up for failure as the relationship becomes toxic (specifically it has some very funny out of context lines like "Whose breasts are you sucking on now?") so yeah, mommy issues: the song (Also: some people say in the song, the boy kills the girl at the end, but this isn't literal, TBW is the first of a trilogy of songs about the same relationship, it is followed by Android girl then Two Breaths Walking: Reloaded and the story resolves with the couple reuniting as adults and getting in the relationship again, although its not necessarily as abusive as before, its still implied to be codependant ending on the line 'We should live like oxygen tanks, sucking breathe from the words each of us exhale, until our last breathe')

In all seriousness, the scene where younger Haruka is walking through the city with his mother but it keeps repeating until older Haruka pulls the younger one away might indicate an attempt to focus the happier memories of his parents (since this is also over the lyrics "Why is it breaking? Tell me why? Please don’t change If I tried and couldn’t say it, You would get angry at me and say “You’re hopeless.”" which depict a worse scene) I think both his parents are still physically present but have become far more emotionally distant, not giving him as much attention, which exacerbates his loneliness from not having any friends his own age to talk to

And if one of his parents did leave? I think its likely his mother since she is shown disappearing out of his reach after the dog-incident (inferring she got angry/disappointed in Haruka anyway) This could also be where he got his necklace from: Its something his mother used to wear (although this is 100% a guess) and that's why its shown to be important to him

This one is just me, but i didn't realise until a rewatch that when Haruka is watching the younger him and the girl running together, the background has fireworks. Haruka mentions fireworks being a key memory to him so I wonder if this was one of the first/last times he got to make a friend...

On three separate occasions in the interrogation, Haruka mentions not liking animals. Despite this, he is depicted as sleeping with a rabbit plush and on his birthday art (I'd include that too but tumblr only allows 10 pictures per post, so here's a link) he is standing next to a giant blueberry and strawberry cake with two bunny themed biscuits at the side. Through my experiences of seeing Japanese fandom art on pixiv, sometimes rabbits are used to insinuate a character is cute and timid in fanart.

Meaningless details: Haruka sleeps with his necklace on; he sleeps on a bed and not a futon; at first I thought he woke up holding his plush's hand but his hand is merely next to the toy; and considering the state of the pillow and blanket, I wonder if he moves a lot in his sleep or if the is just because in this case he seems to be waking up from a nightmare about the dog incident...

Final note: I've spent so many hours writing this I don't remember if i was building up to any big finale or not but I hope you enjoyed reading this! Feel free to add on in the comments/reblogs.

[buckys-forgotten-plum]

Hold Me Tighter ||3||

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: Peter and reader have a talk and Bucky overhears. 

Warnings: Swearing I think? A big of angst, fluff, Buck jumping to conclusions bc he’s a soft dummie...

A/N: Hej hej friends, it’s been a bit since i’ve posted something. My life has been wild and though i’ve been working on various things I have yet to complete said various things. Hopefully posting this gets me back into the groove. Please enjoy and give me feedback as its very much appreciated!! <3

Part ||1||   Part ||2||

~~~~~~

“Do you have an ace?” 

“Nope, go fish,” 

“Do you have a crush on Bucky?” 

You almost drop your hand full of cards on the ground as the words leave the man's mouth. 

“Wha-Peter!” 

“What? It kinda looks obvious, on both sides, but it’s like you guys or holding back or something,” Peter shrugs nonchalantly as he plucks a card from the deck before laying down another set of matches. 

You pout, “Why are you so good at this game?” 

“Answer my question first,” He laughs lightly while playfully nudging your shoulder with his fist. 

You and Peter had been the ones left at the tower while the team was on their latest mission. You felt grateful for the company, or at least you did before he started asking questions while he taught you how to play various card games. The pair of you sat facing each other, legs crossed and knees almost touching as the deck of cards sat in the middle. 

“I dunno… Maybe?” You could feel the fire in your cheeks and ears as you answered, forgetting to ask if Pete had a card and taking straight from the deck instead. 

Peter smiled widely and set down the few cards he still had, putting his full attention on you, “That’s great, Y/n! I think he likes you too! Why haven’t you guys gotten together yet? You spend like every day with each other when Bucky isn’t on a mission. He even cooks for you all the time and I’ve never seen him do that with anyone-” 

“Peter, it's not like that. I’m pretty sure he just thinks of me as like… A charity case or something. He’s helped me a lot since I’ve gotten here but it was solely because he felt obligated too. Kind of like when you find a puppy on the street,” You set your cards down to the side as well, using your free hands to nervously tangle your fingers together. 

“That's ridiculous! Y/n he calls you pet names all the time, he carries you around, I even saw him kiss your cheek before he left!” Peter points an accusatory finger at you. 

Your eyes widen in shock and you stutter before responding, “Why are you paying so much attention to us? It’s weird how much you notice...And besides, lately he hasn’t really been the same. He tells me that he’s always busy with training or meetings or something, and I get that it happens, especially with what you guys do! But it just feels like he’s been avoiding me lately,” 

“The whole team has noticed! You guys have done almost everything but make it official,” The man sighs exasperatedly before leaning forward and pressing his forehead against yours, a silly habit the two of you developed for serious conversations, making you giggle a bit before pushing back, “You should talk with him about it dude,”

You keep your forehead pressed against Pete's, sighing quietly before responding, “I just think… If he doesn’t feel the same way, then everything is going to change. He won’t want to spend time with me anymore, or talk to me, he won’t wanna watch movies with me… He just- he won’t be able to think of me as more than just the silly mutant that’s been obsessed with him for as long as she’s known him,” Your face had scrunched up into a scowl as you thought about what life would be like without Bucky by your side. 

“Hey, hey, hey! He won’t do that, I promise. Bucky isn’t like that, he’d never just start to ignore you or think of you as some obsessed girl. It’s obvious he cares about you a lot, and I think it would be good for both of you to talk about it,” 

“I wouldn’t even know where to start-”

“Start with how you feel, put it all out in the open,” Pete says confidently.

“That’s crazy!”

“How is it crazy?” 

“I can’t just go up to him and say, ‘Hey I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’ve been deeply enthralled and have wanted to be with you since the first time we met!’” 

Peter was about to respond, but a deep voice interrupted, “Y/n?”

You and Pete pull your heads apart and gape at the tall brunette standing in the doorway, his eyebrows pulled together in a frown and his eyes full of confusion. “Bucky I-” 

He puts a hand up before you can continue, “I um-I gotta go shower. Sorry I interrupted you guys,” 

You sat frozen on the floor as Bucky quickly made his exit, Peter switching his gaze between you and the now empty doorway. “Oh my god-” he muttered in absolute bewilderment.

“Wh-what just happened? What should I do? Oh my god he hates me! He’ll never speak to me again-” 

“No! No, no, no it’s fine! Just a misunderstanding! You need to go after him and clear it up,” Peter tells you, hurriedly standing up before grabbing your hands and helping you stand. “You need to tell him everything Y/n. *Everything.*” 

You nod your head in agreement, starting for the doorway, “Thanks pete, I’ll see you later,” 

Peter’s response doesn’t quite register as you quickly walk down the maze of hallways, trying to find the fastest possible route to Bucky’s room. Your heart felt like it was pounding hard enough to escape your chest. 

You let out a yelp as you suddenly hit a wall, “Oh hey kid, you seen Barnes yet? He was lookin for ya,” Tony’s hands are on each of your arms to steady you as he begins to ask how your week with Peter went. 

You can’t focus on any of his questions, solely focused on fixing the mess you had made. 

“Kid? You okay?” Tony steps closer to you, his overbearing father coming out as he reaches up to check your temperature, “hmm maybe we should get you to med, you feel a little hot,” 

“Tony I’m fine-” You try and back out of his grasp but he holds onto you firmly. 

“Hey if you’re gettin’ a fever we want to catch it quick-” 

“I don’t have a fever, please-” 

“C’mon, it’ll only take a minute,”

“Oh my god, goodbye!” You huff out before pushing Tony away from you and using your power to disappear from the hallway. 

Tony lets out an annoyed sigh, “If you get anyone else sick you’re the one who’s taking care of them!” he shouts into the empty space. 

You however, had already popped up outside of Bucky’s door, your hands clenched into fists of stress and nerves. Your right hand went to open the door but when you tried to twist the handle it didn’t budge. 

“Friday can you let me in?”

“Mr. Barnes has specified to not be bothered for the time being,” The AI responded simply. 

You let out a huff of frustration, “Okay well it’s either you unlock the door and let me in or I just pop up in there, so…”

There was a moment of silence before you heard the quiet click of the door unlocking, making you smile victoriously, “Thank you, Friday,” 

Bucky was still in the bathroom with the door closed when you had entered his room. You took a quick look around before deciding to sit on the bed and wait for him to be done. Your fingers began to tangle and pull at themselves in a stressful manner and you couldn’t help the tight feeling in your chest. It only got worse when you heard the running water turn off and the sound of Bucky drying and dressing himself. 

When Bucky opens the door, the both of you freeze in place, eyes locked on to each other for what felt like ages. 

Bucky is the first to break eye contact and move, “I thought I told Friday I didn’t want any visitors,” he mumbles quietly, going over to toss the damp towel in his hands into a laundry hamper.

“I uh- I told her I would just pop in anyways…” 

“Shouldn’t invade people's privacy like that, kid,” his cold tone made you cringe, “can’t start abusing your power like that,”

“Listen Bucky, I came here to explain-” 

“You don’t gotta explain anything to me. I saw what I saw, it’s not a big deal,” he interrupts you and avoids your eyes as he begins to unpack from his mission. 

“Except I think you might not understand entirely-” you begin only to be interrupted again. 

“No! No, I get it. Pete is a good kid, good morals, good background. I can see why you’d like him, it makes sense,” Bucky’s voice was clearly stressed as he spoke and it just made your chest tighten even more. 

“Bucky no-” 

“He’s closer to your age, you have a lot in common, spend a lot of time together…”

“Why is everyone interrupting me today?” you groan out in frustration before getting up off of the bed and walking over to the disgruntled man. 

You move to sit on the other side of the duffle bag he continues to empty, still avoiding your eyes. You let out a huff of annoyance and quickly grab hold of Bucky's hands, bringing them to a pause. 

“Kid, I gotta unpack-”

“No. Not until you let me say what I need to say. Without interrupting me,” You state firmly.

Bucky visibly clenches his jaw, giving you a small nod to continue, “You didn’t hear me say those words to Peter-” 

“Yes I di-” “What did I just say? No interruptions!” 

Bucky sighs, “Sorry,” 

You take another breath before restarting, “You didn’t hear me say those words to Peter. You heard me telling him about what I’d say to someone else,” 

Bucky’s face scrunches up in confusion as he replays your words in his head, trying to put the pieces together, but failing. “Who were you going to say-” 

“You! Ya big dummy. I was telling Peter what I would say to you,” You blurt out with a breath of exasperation. 

Bucky shook his head, as if to try and wake himself up from a daydream, “Are you serious?”

“Yes! Of course I am, Buck. I- Peter said that it would be good for the both of us if I admitted my true feelings for you, and I didn’t know what I would say, so he suggested that I just flat out tell you, and…” You trail off, hoping the older can figure out the rest on his own. 

“And that’s when I walked in? When you had figured out what exactly you’d say?” 

“More or less, yeah,” you answer quietly, giving Bucky’s hands a gentle squeeze to try and bring even more reassurance. 

“Why were you so close to each other?” You looked back up to Bucky, a smile gracing your features as his gaze finally met yours. 

“Because we were having a serious discussion. Isn’t that what everyone does?” You ask, brows slightly knit in confusion.

Bucky chuckles and shakes his head, “No I think that’s only you two,” 

“Oh…” 

The two of you sit in silence for a few minutes, mulling over what you’d like to say next and trying to organize your thoughts. When Bucky didn’t say anything for a while you decided to continue on, “So um...Do you maybe uh-maybe do you feel the same way? About me?”

Bucky doesn’t even wait a beat to answer, “Oh my god yes! Yes I’ve felt the same way for ages, doll!” 

Your eyes widen in disbelief as you take in the new information, “You have?”

Bucky nods his head, a smile on his face as he looks into your eyes, “Sweetheart I’ve been head over heels for you since I first caught you in midair,” he chuckles. 

You grin at Bucky and feel the familiar flickering of your powers take place, knowing your emotions were much too strong to stop it. Within the blink of an eye you had popped out of existence and popped right back up into Bucky’s lap, making him fall over in a huff of laughter. 

You wrap your arms around his neck and bury your face into the softness of his hair, “What gives then you goof? Why didn’t you say anything?” 

Bucky wraps his arms around your waist and gives you a tight squeeze, “Once you started gettin’ the hang of your powers and began training with the rest of the team, I dunno… It felt like you didn’t need me there for you anymore, I didn’t want to risk holding you back from making new friends and connections,” Your heart split in two hearing Bucky’s explanation.

You pull your face out of his lovely smelling hair and stare into the soldier's pretty blue eyes, “That’s silly Bubba. You would never hold me back! You’re the reason why I’m so comfortable around everyone now. You gave me the strength to get out of my comfort zone,” Bucky grinned at your words and shook his head, mentally chiding himself for being so foolish. 

“M’sorry lovie, I guess I got in my own head about everything. Almost messed it all up too because I got so upset when I saw you and Peter,” Your chest swelled with happiness when he calls you one of your favorite nicknames, knowing the two of you were back to normal. 

“It’s okay! I can understand why you thought what you did. But I promise I’ve only ever been deeply enthralled with you,” You laugh and push your forehead up against Bucky’s, making him let out a deep melody of chuckles. 

“Does this mean I don’t have to hold back anymore? I can love on you as much as I want?” Bucky pairs his question with an affectionate nuzzle in the crook of your neck before looking back up into your gleeful eyes. 

You giggle and brush your nose up against his as you nod your head, “You coulda done that before,” 

Bucky’s hands move from around your waist to your thighs, easily lifting the both of you up from the plush carpet, “M’never lettin’ you go ever again. Gonna hold on real tight, sweet girl.” 

You keep your arms wrapped around his neck and try to pull Bucky closer, burying your face back into the crook of his neck and breathing him in. He moves the two of you over to his bed and flops down onto it, pulling the both of you under the covers and tangling his legs with yours. The two of you stay like that for what feels like ages.

A perfectly content tangle of happiness and relief. 

[thunderheadfred]

🤚The Second Worst (Pt. 1/?)🤚

Part 2 of my Shigaraki Thesis Headcanons. HC's // The Second Worst: 1 - 2

The half-mad ghost of Shimura Tenko is in love with you, and your life is about to become a tragic wreck. -- AKA here's when I gave up on bullet points and went off the fuckin rails

I'm self-conscious about writing so much, so uhhhh, please be kind, hahaaa. This is rather long and involved. Are these still even HCs or just a self-indulgent AU outline? There are some mysteries we may never solve.

This is on AO3 now, if you prefer reading there. Anyway. Minors do not interact.

- - - - -

You met Tenko before the League existed.

Believe it or not, there are a million ways it might have happened, but in the end: you were both bargain-binning in Akihabara.

You reached for a copy of a collectible bullet-hell cute-'em-up (near-mint! CIB!!!) and accidentally bonked hands with a complete stranger. He flinched about five million feet away from you. Ouch. You're just a nobody, quirkless and average, but you didn't think you were THAT repulsive.

(You're not. Hell, even if you were, this guy couldn't care less. He barely registers that you have a face.)

(Shigaraki is accustomed to getting in and out of this shop in seconds. He always comes in before anyone else and goes straight home. -- Is that really home? Is 'home' a real place? -- ANYWAY he's already pirated this shit, god, why does he even care? He doesn't need to be here. Father doesn't like it. Is that why he's here? Just to do something Father doesn't like? That's pathetic.)

He's had at least ten complete internal arguments with himself before he so much as looks at you.

You know in the tenth of a second he actually meets your eyes... this fucker is going to fight you to the death over this game.

- - - The death match ends in a draw. He was not expecting you to know the first fucking thing about this game. Nobody knows about it, even in Japan. Who the fuck do you even think you are? Oh, no, he's still taking it. But... maybe he can show you how to play it it. He'll give you a little taste, just to make you jealous. He's got his hoodie pulled down like he's going to commit an act of terrorism. What little you can see of his face looks twitchy and messed up. If you have any survival instincts at all, they're kicking in right about now. But... why not. You're not going anywhere with this dude unsupervised, so you suggest a crowded web cafe down the street. The cafe has the necessary console... but the retro gaming booth is laughably small. The TV is about four inches across and you end up having to practically sit in his lap. You were sure this guy was a nasty fucking creep, but he's................ only mostly terrible. Way too angry, for sure. Has no idea how to have a normal, friendly conversation. Inadvertently insults you every other sentence and seems to have a deep-seated persecution complex.

You'd prefer to be mad about the awful company, but... he's obviously deprived of human contact. When it's established that you two share a lot of media fixations, he calms down and starts treating you a little more like a human being. Or at least like a fellow elite.

Wherever he came from, he doesn't seem to want to go back. He keeps pushing you to play one more level, pretending he wants to beat your score. You feel kinda bad for him. You get the distinct feeling that his life is a disaster. He looks like he's never had a full night of sleep in his life. He trips your trigger hairs in that 'is he gonna follow me home?' kind of way, but... up close, he's a lot more depressing than scary. At the very least, you want to buy him a stupidly cute dessert. Just... as thanks. For letting you try out the game and stuff. It's not a big deal, so just pick a flavor, okay? The world isn't actually that awful, y'know.

It's not even that impressive... Definitely not a great cafe. But he takes practically a full hour to eat a single slice of strawberry cake.

When the hoodie comes down. He's all shriveled and dried out, like someone left him him in the desert to die. He chews on his peeling bottom lip and nervously scratches his neck. He doesn't thank you for the cake. Which is fine. It's not a big deal. Actually, you wish he would eat faster; you feel weirdly responsible for him now.

Under all that mess he's... gorgeous? His hair is stunning: a bright, gleaming silver that catches the light. His bone structure is flawless. If it weren't for all the scars and the misanthropic slouch, he'd look like a fairy fucking prince.

You were not prepared for that. In another life he could have been a model, the type of guy who would never even look at you. But something bad happened to him. Something... very bad. Do you even want to know? You have no idea how to ask. Has anyone ever been nice to him? It doesn't seem like it. Should YOU be nice to him? You sort of want to try. - - - This becomes a regular thing. This weird little secret. You should probably tell someone when you see him, just in case you don't come back one day, but you say nothing; how the hell would you explain why you want to see him so bad? You don't know his full name. Maybe he's on a watch list. When he gives you a long string of random numbers so you can schedule meet-ups (is THAT his e-mail, really?) he tells you to just... call him Tenko. Or whatever. It doesn't matter. (He sneaks out when Father is deep in his plots. As long as he comes home on time, it doesn't really matter where he goes, right?) He brings a different game every time. He has an insane collection. Where does he get the money for all this? You know he doesn't work. God, is it drugs? It's probably drugs. Wherever these hidden gems came from, he proudly shows them off to you, like he's never had an audience before. It's sort of cringe-inducing, the way he one-ups and rubs every little victory in your face, desperate for attention.

But at the same time, you are becoming too... something...to mind. Do you... like him? He's not funny, but he thinks you are. His mouth is huge when he laughs. He seems to hate everyone but you, and you've had to earn the distinction of being merely tolerable. Still, he gets really excited about random shit like the garage kit black market and haunted dolls and the price of weed on the dark web.

And... strawberry cake. The realization hits you both at the same time when the waitress brings one piece with two forks. God, what the fuck, are you... are you dating? Quick, think. You look forward to seeing him, and don't even mind sitting close to him anymore. Sometimes you push your leg up against him just to see if he'll still flinch away... and he doesn't.

You jealously notice the way he touches everything but you: with delicate precision, one finger at a time. His large, elegant hands always have a pinky up like he's aspiring for a fiefdom, and you wonder what his skin feels like. You go home and dwell on the way he plucks flowering weeds out of the pavement in front of the cafe. The way he stands rooted to the spot as you leave, just... looking at nothing, unsmiling.

You watch his lips too much, and not just because you want to buy him chapstick. You catch him gaping at you all the time. You thought he was just creepy like that, but maybe... Yeah. I guess you are dating him. Shit. - - - Okay, so, yeah. Bringing him back to your place was definitely a bad idea. You know you shouldn't trust him, even if he is... apparently... your boyfriend? Sort of? You still don't have his phone number. So. Um. What now? You order overpriced pizza and queue up a campy horror movie. What the fuck are you even doing. You don't really think he's going to murder you anymore, but... still. Is the suburban massacre scene gonna give him ideas? Turns out, no. He doesn't like gore, even when the blood is neon pink. He gets upset. Like, really upset. Shaky and green, like he might puke on you. He can't stop scratching that scaly spot on his neck.

Tenko, are you crying? Fucking hell, did you just trigger him? Of course he has a traumatic past, it's carved all over his face. You're so fucking stupid. You don't know how to make it right. You want to hug him, kiss him... anything. But he's never really touched you, and you're too afraid to push now. It ruins the whole night. He leaves without explaining anything. Doesn't even say goodbye. He just. Leaves. Maybe you'll never see him again. Maybe that's for the best. Your chest hurts. - - - He shows up at your door a few weeks later. You haven't heard from him since that disastrous movie night. You had pretty much accepted that you'd broken up with a boyfriend you never actually had. But no. Apparently not.

This time, he’s brought his own entertainment. He's holding a boxed set of some show you're not familiar with. You're distracted by these weird little half-gloves he's wearing, like a cyberpunk hacker. That's a new look, and even if it's a bit edgelord adjacent, he makes it look cool. You tell him as much. It's the first time you've let on how attractive you find him. He's wearing a tight black shirt with a deep, deep V-neck. That's distracting too.

He clears his slender throat and doesn't look at you.

You try to apologize for before, but he's acting like it never happened. What are you even talking about? Have you seen this OVA or not? Get out of the way and let him in already. You've watched three episodes now, but you still have no idea what this stupid anime is about. You can't pay attention to a single frame. All you can think about is how his arm has crept up behind your shoulders. A few inches more and he'll be holding you. Does he... want to hold you? You lean toward him so slowly your spine creaks. One molecule at a time. After a thousand years, your head slides nervously under his chin. His arm comes down, locking you in, fingers clutching your sleeve in a death grip. Even that snobby little pinky. His head tucks down into you hair. A sharp collarbone bites into your cheek. His heartbeat is hard, fast, and irregular. There's not a scrap of fat on him, and as you wrap your arm around his stomach, you think you see a twitch in his pants. Is that just you being desperate? Or... hopeful? This is really happening. --- Soon, you learn that Tenko is a clumsy kisser. It doesn't matter; the fact that he's kissing you at all is good enough for now. His lips are dry, but not half as dry as you expected. There's a slick of menthol helping things along; he's been using something medicated on his lips. Plus, his mouth tastes like he drank a gallon of mouthwash.

All this thrills you more than a little, because it means he came here wanting to impress you. Wanting you. Full stop. Underneath that minty sting is a strange, worrisome aftertaste, like something rotten. Your brain fires off an alarm. Stop kissing him. Right now. This thing will make you sick. But his hands nervously slide over your body... and you decide not to worry about it. Instead, you kiss him deeper. He makes a sweet, startled little noise. Your brain is a fucking liar. It occurs to you he's probably never done this before.

When you lace your fingers in his and try to pull one of his gloves off, he rips his hand away.

Don't. That’s the only explanation he gives.

No need to ask if it's a quirk thing or a trauma thing. Judging by how jittery he gets, it's probably both. You remember the way his hands almost float over objects without ever holding them. Maybe his touch is dangerous. Maybe that's why his face looks like that.

Maybe you should learn more about him before things go way too far...

No. It can't be that bad. Now that he's in your arms, everything frightening about him evaporates. He's vulnerable. He's alone. He's shaking a little. Has anyone else ever seen this side of him? You want to keep him all to yourself, just like this.

So what if he has to touch you with gloves on? You've heard of worse quirk-related inconveniences.

It's okay, Tenko. Do you want to keep going?

You put his hands back on you and wait for him to kiss you again. It doesn't take long.

---

You open his pants. He's long and thin, calloused even here. Every part of him feels untouched, unloved. You hold him tight and squeeze.

It doesn't seem to occur to him to please you in return. He looks afraid. Confused. You're sure you scared him earlier with the glove thing. Is this too much? No. He gasps and leans into you. The tiniest, broken please.

He cums in your hand right away, face buried in your shoulder, his eyes wet and hidden.

I have to go, he says. Over and over and over.

It's okay, Tenko.

You know he doesn't want to.

- - - - - (oops I wrote more)

[zukkoxx]

mha boys jealous moments

w/ bakugo, deku, kirishima

warnings: slight season 3 spoilers, fem! reader

bakugo💥

bakugo rarely got jealous to be honest.

he was confident in your relationship and knew that you both loved each other more than you could express.

but there was something about the way that baldy, inasa yoarashi who used to go to shiketsu high school, talked to you so enthusiastically and made you laugh your ass off that had him fuming

it was the yearly meet up for the strange friend group, bakugo, todoroki, inasa, camie, and y/n.

the group that had to retake their license exam during high school, which resulted into a weird friendship that had the five meeting up every year to catch up.

the meet up itself was normal. at a fancy restaurant in a private area with an interesting conversation going on.

you were sitting between bakugo and inasa.

somehow, the conversation of first dates was brought up, and everyone was sharing the interesting stories of their first one.

todoroki explained how his first date was with momo, since everyone seemed to like them together. but it made him realize they had absolutely nothing in common

especially when it came to tea…

camie told everyone about how her first date was with some sleaze who only wanted her body for one night, which had you shaking your head is disgust.

anyways, the conversation resulted into you hearing about inasa’s first date, where he explained he was so nervous that his quirk went off involuntarily, blowing the food everywhere.

his enthusiastic story telling and the details he added had you laughing up a storm.

you were so engrossed in the story, that you hadn’t noticed your boyfriend staring at the man with an expression that could only be considered as pure acrimony

what the hell was so funny about what this baldy was saying?

“inasa that’s too crazy! i can’t believe that happened.” you breathed out, going to wipe some stray tears away from your eyes.

inasa looked at you with pure delight, pride filling his chest at the fact that he made you laugh so intensely.

you turned your head to look at bakugo who you hadn’t really been paying much attention to for most of the night.

right away you noticed his familiar grimace, that seemed way more irate than usual.

“what’s wrong kats?” you ask absentmindedly, taking a sip of your drink.

he just shook his head at you before looking at inasa. “that’s a pretty funny story baldy…” he mutters. “you know, my first date was with this beauty right here.” your boyfriend nudges you with a half smirk. “only girl i thought was capable enough to handle me.”

“i can see why. y/n’s quite fierce. i’d assumed she’d be able to put you in your place every now and then.” inasa shrugged, a competitive glint forming in his eyes.

“put me in my place?” bakugo scoffed. “please, a few dates after our first one, i already had her screaming under me. she could barely keep up.”

you gasp, turning to bakugo and slapping his hard bicep. “katsuki! why would you say that?”

he just chuckled, watching as inasa suddenly grew flustered and looked away. “just had to make sure that baldy knew who you’d be going home with tonight.” he kissed your cheek, and you turned away from him, pouting in embarrassment

deku 🥦

we know this precious boy had insecurities growing up, but as he got older they went away bit by bit

you played a big part in it. always reassuring him that he was perfect the way he is and he had nothing to be insecure about.

but being pro heroes and being in the public eye almost all the time did leave some room for those wondering thoughts and doubts to creep back up.

fortunately, izuku found new ways to handle those feelings. gave them head on with confidence like he did with most of his problems.

it was a cool night, and you and your boyfriend had just got done kicking some villain’s ass. of course, tons of reporters were surrounding you both.

“miss (hero name)! how would u describe the performance of both you and deku tonight!”

“was this particular villain hard to fight off? you seem a little more hazed than usual!”

you tired to answer every question as quick as possible, but one particular question you wish you didn’t hear had to stumped to the core.

“have you heard about the recent news of you being shipped with another pro-hero?” the reporter asked.

“wha…no.” you tried to respond, but the question just seemed to get other reporters more hyped.

“much of the public believe you should be with another pro-hero! one that matches your style more!”

“people are predicting the end of h/n and deku! what do you have to say about that?”

“um, no me and izu-ah deku are completely fine. i would never leave him!” you try to retaliate.

“but there are tons of other heroes who have their eyes on you h/n! it’d be stupid to not give them a chance!”

you scoffed at the reporter’s words, trying to go against what they were saying when you suddenly felt a hand wrap your waist and a big frame stand behind you.

“don’t you think if h/n and i weren’t perfect for each other, we’d have broken up already?” izuku comes into frame with a hard expression, his question leaving the reporters speechless.

“it’s been so many years, i don’t think we would continue to torture ourselves in an uncommitted relationship if we didn’t love each other, right h/n”

you nodded feverishly, letting izuku take over as he looked directly into the camera “oh, and to all the pro-heroes who have their eyes on my girlfriend, you better keep that fantasy in your head, cause this girl is all mine.”

he gave you an affection squeeze on the hips before pulling you away to the car.

you sighed out in relief and turned to him with a big smile. “thank you for helping me back there izu.” you smile, and peck his cheek.

“of course. anything for you but…you don’t actually think about being with other heroes? right?” you could basically see the sweat running down the side of his face.

“of course not! you’re my one and only deku.” you smile as he leans in, placing a loving kiss on your lips

kirishima 🪨

it’s really hard for kiri to get jealous

he just thinks everyone has positive motives and doesn’t like to assume the worst.

but when it’s really obvious someone is flirting with you, he’ll get involved quicker than he can harden.

you were out shopping with your red haired boyfie, and he had walked away for a bit to look at the men’s section.

it was only about five minutes when a weird looking man approached you, his aura already feeling off

“hey there sexy lady! saw you looking all pretty over here and i just had to talk to ya” he smiled crookedly, making you cringe.

“i’m flattered but, i have a boyfriend.” you try to smile, turning away and shuffling through clothes.

“well i don’t see him around.” the man says.

that’s always their response. isn’t it?

“he’s just over there in the men’s section. so i’d really appreciate it if you left me alone.”

“come on baby! there’s nothing wrong with having a little fun! i’m sure your boyfriend wouldn’t mind.”

god if this man says one more thing to me i swear i’ll-

“you thought wrong sir.” you hear kirishima say, his usual voice dropping a few octaves making the man in front of you clench up.

“i know she’s already told you she had a boyfriend. what will it take for you to leave her alone hm?”

“i’m sorry dude-“

“yeah you are. now get out of here of while you can still walk.” kiri said, making the man skedaddle.

after he was out of sight, your boyfriend put a hand on his chest and let out a breath. “jeez that was scary babe!”

“eijiro, you’re a pro hero who fights scary villains all the time.”

“yeah! but the thought of someone stealing my baby away is my biggest fear!” he yells.

you laugh “good thing that’ll never happen babe.”

posted 7/1/21

really sorry about kiri’s being a little shorter. anyways hope you guys liked this. i’ll be answering requests tomorrow. it’s about 3:30 AM where i am rn so i’ll get some sleep and work on them right away. hope you liked this. leave a request here -> 🥀

gn loves! <3

[crimsonblackrose]

Okay here’s all my thoughts and questions part 1 How did Chozen get weapons through security? And why does everyone keep calling him an assassin? Has he...actually killed someone? Because really the one time we saw him fight to the death he failed and got his nose honked. Or did Chozen arrive in LA and immediately go buy weapons? Miguel seeing his dad with another kid handling it better than Robby but at the same time it’s a little kid and not someone his age. Also saving the kid but being a creeper who followed them around? Kind of here for everyone telling Johnny the stuff he does is illegal. Graffiti karma and kidnapping a minor even if it’s his own son. I kind of get why Carmen didn’t go and rescue Miguel because that guy is scary but at the same time....I hate that she stayed home. Who knew fake FBI shirts could cause so much trouble and rip so easily? Time to add another Johnny chokehold to the gifs of every time someone’s gone for the poor guys neck.

Moon sometimes gives me Miyagi vibes.

Daniel why the hell didn’t you google Barnes? You looked up enough to stalk him from his home to his work...but you didn’t...google his job? Like see that he works in furniture. Opposite of you Johnny at least is googling stuff. You’re supposed to be the smart one and it makes me cringe so much when he...jumps in head first without thinking. Like at least look around the front to see the place or like read the newspaper articles or coverage that Barnes is now in furniture. I just can’t think of how on earth he could’ve gotten Barnes’s address and not seen that he was a furniture king.

Okay so Daniel can meet with Barnes and actually stop Barnes and Chozen from fighting and explain the who big misunderstanding and yet...gestures at the entire series. There’s more in that. Esp with Johnny. Because 9 times out of 10 the two misunderstand each other and nearly come to blows. I don’t know whether he’s gotten better at it because of Johnny or whether together the two are just more stubborn and everyone else is easier.

Omg Daniel do not call and leave a message for that sketchy attorney. That person could still be working for Silver. I don’t get why Daniel doesn’t trust Silver at all and yet will trust anyone and everyone else to listen to reason and pick him. Do you not remember talking to the police when Barnes originally bothered you and then they laughed it off. I just...seriously? Daniel why aren’t you googling or researching anything. That’s going to bite you....and it did...in a steam room.

I get why Barnes left the country. Sketchy red flags for insurance but uh...Silver yeah I get that.

Did Johnny just admit to doing sex work after school? Is...that how he and Shannon met...no she didn’t seem to know but also didn’t bat an eye. (Also Lawrence isn’t his mom’s maiden name? But....it’s not Sid’s last name...did she marry his dad???????? So many questions)

My main concern is that Miyagi’s house, the dojo, all those vintage cars are going to be set on fire and Miguel’s necklace for Sam will be there and somehow it will be his fault or Johnny’s. You know what, I appreciate Johnny saying thank you. Demetri deserves some kindness and I think it’s probably the best thing for Demetri to be Johnny’s tech person because Miguel views him as a dad and already had all the cringe nightmare stuff. Time to pass that responsibility to someone else who kind of knows Johnny is a mess but most likely won’t be scarred by the exact type of mess he is.

Johnny’s gig life is embarrassing and gross to watch and I would not have blamed those girls for cancelling their ride and being like nah no thanks sir. Johnny is still kind of a messy creep and he already has a bad track record. How is it that teens with pools care this much about a water park? Like Sam’s not even swimming, why is she even there? Just sit at the pool at home....oh...is she banned from the pool at home because of Chozen? Like Chozen’s habits are kind of interesting but the fact there’s teens and preteens in the household I get why Amanda freaked out. And I guess now I get why they’re at a water park and not at home. But doesn’t Moon or like any of these other rich kids have a pool? Isn’t like Eli rich? Why can’t they go to one of these pools and for the Cobra Kai kids...uhhhh Kyler probably has a pool right? The item Daniel brought for the auction is going to be destroyed isn’t it? I like that the pawn shop guy just knows how to handle Johnny now. And it’s kind of fun that he has 3 kids that he swears Johnny will never meet and 3 pawn shops. I half thought he’d hire Johnny to work one of them.

Everyone is being kind of nice to Johnny. I’m kind of shocked.

How the hell do you race in a slide? Daniel oh honey no. And there we go bonsai got destroyed. Darn and Daniel didn’t even give them a second glance. Remember when he used to freak out over bonsai? Sorry Mr. Miyagi. Stingray? Oh his poor sad face. Like I get that he’s...an odd character but I feel bad for him. And the flinch when Silver touches him. “I feel like a kept woman.” omg. He gets Lawrence’s car? Does that mean Silver has Johnny’s phone? Oh the mess he could make with that. Robby and Miguel got parent trapped at olive garden “When you’re here you’re family” omg that’s so on purpose that it’s hilarious. Also uhhhh they picked Italian which is kind of funny because I doubt Daniel will be there, but he’s there...in spirit. I wonder, since this is clearly an advertisement for Olive Garden if they’re doing any Cobra Kai specials. 😂

Omg this is such an advertisement. “Breadsticks aren’t going to fix this.” I agree. 😂

Daniel was from here? This was where scruffy Daniel came from? How long has he been alone without Amanda?

Daniel...you gotta communicate. Like it’s not just Silver, this whole journey you hide stuff from your family. All the way back to Lucille and hiding your black eye from her. Talk hon, talk and not just to guys from Okinawa.

I’ve heard one line from Amanda’s mom and I already love her.

 Omg omg omg omg omg omg No! Hold up! How the hell does this work? So Amanda doesn’t know Jess and Daniel’s time with Silver and Barnes and LA? WTF? Like at least they must’ve seen each other at the wedding right? Jess has to know everything. And does that mean Amanda’s family is the pottery store across the street from Miyagi’s little trees? Aunt JO! Johnny you made art out of your beer cans? Bud. How bored are you? Omg he made a salon. Sir. You little weird artist you.

Did some internetting. Johnny did you get them a “this is our get along shirt?” Our theme is the Lincoln County War. Johnny. What are you doing? I love this but I also am so confused. Is this....are you healing Johnny? Does this mean you’re finally growing? And thus can learn stuff again? Oh...it’s from a movie. LOL. I thought. I love that abuela is in on it. OMG Johnny can understand some Spanish? Of course it’s the I screwed up....T_T 💔

Oh wow. Daniel going too far? Chozen, you...I’m glad you’re with Daniel because he is a mess.

I’m sorry Amanda is a video game nerd and yet hasn’t bonded with Anthony over that? Omg Elizabeth Anne Rooney? Are we in Ohio? WTH?

Damn Daniel and also Johnny that’s some growth. 😂 How Johnny knows something is up with Daniel is his shirt isn’t tucked in. 😂😂😂😂

Sibling chat! Sibling chat! FINALLY! Wait so Anthony was in time out and talked to no one but Johnny during that family dinner and no one decided to tell Sam that her baby bro bullied some kid and ....damn everyone is so self focused they don’t see beyond themselves.

Listen I appreciate the quick re-run of the past. But you’re missing some facts that Jessica knows. That Barnes and co tried to actually murder them in that pit. That both of them nearly died. And there’s a lot of stuff neither of them are aware of.

BAR FIGHT! GET REVENGE AGAINST ELIZABETH ANNE ROONEY JESSICA!!!! GET HER! These two are never allowed near stairwells ever again. I don’t care that ended up okay. Banned. Absolutely banned. 😂 White Castle advertisement. The taste you crave after getting into a bar fight (Jessica freaking out over a club fight where she was being attacked but ready to throw down at a bar when she’s older is fascinating) You know what I’m so ready for? Robby getting some care from the Diaz’s. Let him smoke some weed with Abuela and get some kindness from Carmen. Don’t do it Daniel. Don’t go in because the doors open. Don’t fall for Silver. Don’t do anything. Walk away. No. Run away. Oh god what happened to Stingray. I do not like this parallel to when Johnny went by himself and got his ass kicked by Silver. I do not like this. Daniel you shouldn’t have gone by yourself. T_T Babe you’re in a horror movie. Stop going places by yourself. It’s not safe. Ayyeee knew Tory would go to Kreese. Knew she didn’t fully trust everything. Chozen stayed. T_T I’m glad. And now Johnny is finally here. I was so worried that like stingray was beaten up in a corner and Silver was going to call the cops on him.

[alwaysfeelingsaintlike]

Driving Me Mad [G.W] - Part 1

Series Description: You and George come up with a plan to help each other out by pretending to date each other. But what happens when you actually start to catch feelings...

Pairing: George Weasley x Gryffindor fem!reader 

Word Count: 2.2k

Description: You reconnect with George during a friendly game of spin the bottle.

A/N: This concept was inspired by one of my favorite 90s teen movies, Drive Me Crazy (which everyone should watch btw). I wrote this a few years ago and recently re-worked. This is part 1 of 8! Enjoy :)

                                                         X

“1…2…3…4…” you heard Fred calling. You took off at a run to find your spot. You were playing hide and seek, like you always did at these reunions. The Burrow was the best venue for hide and seek because there were so many great hiding spots, both inside and out. Fred and George seemed to be the best at this game, but you had one secret spot where no one could ever find you. You ran down the stairs quickly, hoping you wouldn’t be heard or spotted. Your parents were in the sitting room with Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, waiting for the roast to finish and you tip-toed to the one area where you shouldn’t have been, the kitchen. It was an unspoken rule that the kitchen was off limits when Mrs. Weasley was preparing dinner, but you were never one to follow rules. You heard the adults talking in the other room and knew you had a very limited window to get situated. You opened the cabinet under the sink and went to climb in when you realized there was already someone in there.

“Hey! This is my spot!” you whispered, still trying to keep your cover.

“Well too bad, I was here first,” he spat back. 

“READY OR NOT, HERE I COME!” Fred called. Your eyes went wide in panic and you shoved yourself into the cabinet.

“Slide…over…” you said as you dug your elbow into George’s side. You knocked over stacks of bowls and pans and you quickly shut the cabinet door hoping to muffle the noise.

“I can’t believe you took my spot,” you grumbled.

“Your spot? I don’t see your name on it,” he teased. You smacked him and he winced. “Now, that wasn’t very nice.”

“Shh…you’ll give our position away.” You heard footsteps coming across the tile floor and held your breath. 

You sat there for what seemed like hours, whispering insults back and forth and laughing about stupid things. The hardest part about sitting there was that dinner was starting to smell amazing. It was torturous. That was the downside to having a great hiding place; you were stuck there until you got found.

“Okay, I give up. You guys win. Just come out now,” you heard Fred calling.

“Should we?” you asked George.

“Nah. It’s more fun this way.”

By this point all of the kids were looking for you both, and maybe even the adults. It was hard to tell for sure, considering you were curled up in a cabinet, but you could hear lots of footsteps and your names being called repeatedly.

“Kids, come for dinner!” Mrs. Weasley called.

“What about now?” you asked George, thinking that the seekers would stop looking for you the minute their eyes caught sight of the meal. 

George shook his head no and you trusted he knew what he was doing. “Just wait for it…” he whispered.

As if on cue, both the cabinet doors suddenly flew open. You had been caught. You then realized, it was Mrs. Weasley who had caught you and she had yet to notice two children were in place of her kitchen supplies. She was turned and was calling for the older boys to come and set the table. 

Slowly, very slowly, she turned around and bent down to tend to the cabinet. George’s face broke into a warm smile, knowing what was coming next.

“AAAH!” she shrieked upon seeing your childish figures cramped into such a small space.  You and George erupted into laughter at her reaction as everyone else scurried in to see what had happened. Mrs. Weasley was leaning against the counter, clutching her heart before she essentially beat you with a dishtowel to get you to come out.

“George! Y/N! What on earth were you thinking? You nearly gave me a heart attack!”

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Weasley! We didn’t mean to. We were just playing hide and seek,” you spoke, innocently enough. Her mood completely changed and it was as if nothing was wrong.

“Well…alright. Go wash up for dinner,” she said. 

Fred approached the two of us, “That was brilliant. Couldn’t have done it better myself,” he said, giving you both high fives. 

Dinner was full of laughs and merriment as the two families conversed over a lovely meal. George sat across from you at the table and every now and then he would kick your shins and give you that evil grin of his. This was your relationship. You were essentially the second Weasley girl, and according to the twins you were more fun to torment because you could dish it back.

Dinner drew to a close, which meant you could continue playing again. The adults stayed and talked more over tea as you all made up imaginary games, pretending to be people you weren’t. Then, soon, your parents would call you and give you the twenty-minute warning, which always meant you were leaving in an hour. You would say your goodbyes like it was no big deal, but once you started heading home you grew infinitely sadder knowing you’d be playing alone until your next trip to the Burrow.

                                                              X

A lot of time had passed since the hide and seek days. Now, hide and seek was used when you were playing hard to get, which happened quite often now that you were a 5th year. You also didn’t see as much of the Weasleys as you used to. When you were younger, you would go over to the Burrow all the time. But now you only really saw them in passing at Hogwarts. You were still friendly, of course, but you had found yourself in a different friend group. 

Recently, you’d been spending a lot more time with the Ravenclaw’s largely because you were dating Roger Davies. You had started dating towards the end of your fourth year and things had been going great. You were particularly excited for the upcoming school year because they had announced the Triwizard Tournament.

The champions had just been announced and you were in  Room of Requirement, sipping a butterbeer and celebrating with a majority of the Hogwarts population.

“Here ye, here ye!” someone called out. Your attention shifted to the center of the room where the Weasley twins were making an announcement.

“As you all know, we are here for two reasons. One: to celebrate the success of our fellow Hogwartsians,” one of them spoke. The crowd cheered. Cedric’s friends clapped him on the back while Harry stood awkwardly in the corner with a handful of Gryffindors from his year. 

“And two is to have a bloody good time!” the other twin shouted. That statement was followed by even more applause. People clinked their butterbeer bottles together as the twins made a few more remarks to the group.

You mingled around the party for a bit, keeping your eye out for Roger who hadn’t seemed to arrive yet. After a few butterbeers, you stopped worrying so much about your boyfriend’s whereabouts. 

“Who wants to play spin the bottle?” you heard someone call. That certainly caught your attention. All the participants sat in a circle on the floor.

“What rules are we playing tonight?” Cho asked. 

Fred spoke next, “Spinner gets one spin. Whoever the bottle lands on can decide if they want one kiss in front of everyone or five minutes in the closet. You only get a re-spin if the bottle lands on yourself. And all wands in the middle of the circle. We don’t need any interference. Sound good?” Everyone nodded in agreement and the festivities ensued.

Since Cedric was the champion, everyone agreed to let him spin first. His bottle landed on Lavender Brown and she chose to enter the closet with Cedric. Cho looked pissed, as she had her eye on Cedric this year. The two emerged from the closet minutes later, Cedric looking sheepish and surprised and Lavender trying to hide the grin creeping up her face. 

You waited and waited for your turn, and you found yourself getting bored. You were about to leave the game and head to bed but then you heard your name.

“You’re up.” 

The bottle slid over to you and you decided you would leave after your turn was up. You held the glass bottle for a moment before placing it in the middle of the circle and giving it a good spin. The bottle was almost mesmerizing as it completed rotation after rotation before finally slowing down to land on someone. You slowly looked up to see who was at the receiving end of your spin and you internally cringed to see that familiar smile. 

“Alright Y/L/N, I will see you in the closet,” he said. Everyone ‘oohed’ like you were preteens as he stood up and made his way to the closet. You reluctantly followed, knowing this was your ticket out of here.

“Well if it isn’t my first girlfriend,” he smiled as you made your way through the door.

“You wish, George. We were six…it didn’t count.”

“That’s what you think.” You rolled your eyes at his comment.

“Just so you know, nothing is happening in here. I have a boyfriend.”

“Ah of course. Well how are things?”

“Things are going great between us. We’ve been dating almost-“

He cut you off, “I wasn’t asking about Roger. I was asking about you. We haven’t talked in a while.”

“We run in different circles, George. We aren’t kids anymore. We’re barely even friends.”

He clenched his heart, “Ouch. That hurts.”

“Well it’s true!”

“Just because we don’t hang out or talk doesn’t mean we’re not friends.”

“Yeah, whatever,” you mumbled. 

“I bet I know more about you than your so-called friends, Cho and Marietta. In fact, I think I know more about you than Roger.”

You raised an eyebrow at him, “Is that so? Prove it.”

“Well, I know that your favorite color is purple, your best subject is Charms, and you hate the cold but you love Christmas.”

“That is not that impressive. Roger knows all of that.”

George took a step closer to you, “Does he know that you secretly love watching Muggle movies, you’re ticklish on your left knee and that there’s a little star shaped mole just behind your ear.” He gently tucked your hair behind your ear and ran his finger right over the hidden mole. You looked up into his eyes and felt an unusual feeling that you weren’t sure how to define. For a moment, you thought you saw him leaning in towards you. He was going to kiss you and for some odd reason, you were going to let him. Just as your lips were about to touch he turned away as there was a series of knocks on the door. 

“I think our time is up,” you spoke softly. You slid from under his gaze and opened the closet door. “They all bolted…” you stated. The room was full of discarded cups and empty bottles, but no familiar faces to be seen.

“Filch or someone must’ve come by,” he said, “The knock was a warning.” You shrugged and without talking you made your way out of the room. “Heading back to Gryffindor tower?” he asked you. You had briefly thought about going to Ravenclaw tower to check in on Roger, but you decided against it.

The journey was silent, for the most part. Neither of you felt the need to talk. Just as you were about to turn a corner, George grabbed your wrist and pulled you back. You turned back at him confused and he said, “Not that way, we’ll get caught. Filch is usually patrolling that corridor.” You gave him an unamused look, thinking he was just trying to make things difficult when he added, “Trust me.” 

You weren’t sure why, but you did trust him. You followed him down a dark hall that you’d never been down before. You hoped he knew where he was going. It was dark and you couldn’t see very well but you didn’t want to give away your position by using Lumos. Out of nowhere, George took your hand and helped guide you down the hallway. You didn’t really understand why he was being so nice to you. You had barely talked over the years, aside from the occasional family gathering. 

Your thoughts were interrupted by a sudden pop of light. You looked up and the two of you were face to face with Professor McGonagall. 

“Professor,” he spoke.

“Mr. Weasley…Ms. Y/L/N. Is there a reason you two are out of bed past curfew?” she asked you sternly.

“Yes, but it’s not a very good one,” you said. You were toast. If it had been Flitwick or Moody you could’ve talked your way out of it, but McGonagall was too strict. You only hoped your punishment wasn’t too severe.

“Ten points will be taken from Gryffindor. Each. And you will report for detention later this week.”

“Yes ma’am,” George spoke.

“Now back to bed, both of you!” You scurried past her as you realized how close you were to the common room.

“So much for not getting caught,” you muttered.

“Hey, lay off it. I was trying to help,” he snapped. “Sometimes you can be such a bitch,” he added under his breath.  You weren’t expecting that, but you admittedly deserved it.

You reached the common room and you went in and immediately went up to your room. You curled up in bed and tried to sleep as best I could.

[kendallroydefender]

Late nights at Hawkins High Part 2 (Billy Hargrove x reader)

Part 1

You went to stand in the line to get your degree in the sun on the field where you and Billy shared your first kiss a few months ago. It felt like an eternity ago. You waited until they called your last name, walked onto the stage shaking hands with the headmaster and he handed you the piece of paper that meant you were free. After the ceremony you walked up to the mullet haired boy that was your boyfriend. You and Billy had been going strong for the last months. "Hey there.“ you smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck, his went around your waist as he gave you a sweet kiss "Hey princess. Congrats.“ he whispered against your lips as you parted slightly "Congrats to you too.“ you smiled at him. You took his hand into yours and walked to where your parents where standing. "Look at you two! Congratulations!“ your mother said and gave both of you a big hug, your father did the same afterwards. Your parents liked Billy alot even before you became a couple and they were even happier as you told them that you were in a relationship. You talked to them a bit until his father, his stepmom and Max came over to where you were standing. "Congratulations!“ Susan said as they approached you. "Who would’ve thought Billy was getting a degree!“ his father laughed, it seemed like he wanted it to sound like a joke but you knew his intentions behind it so you took your boyfriends hand again and gave it a squeeze. Your parents talked for a bit with his parents and Neil threw quite a view mean "jokes“ toward Billy.

After a few more minutes you excused yourself and walked a bit away from the group. "I fucking hate him.“ you muttered once you were sure they couldn’t hear you anymore. "Me too, but it’s only one more night.“ he said and you began to smile widely. Tomorrow you would leave Hawkins and you couldn’t be happier to start this new chapter of your life. "Y/n, Billy!“ Someone called and you saw your other best friend Robin come towards you. "Oh my god hey!“ you two hugged each other "Can you believe it? We actually did it!“ you said "I know right?!“ she went to give Billy a hug afterwards. When you and Billy had first got close she wasn’t a fan of him at all. She actually despised him but they eventually got on fine with each other and once she saw how happy he made you she didn’t hated him that much anymore. She was actually happy after you told her that you were together now since she knew how much you liked him and she just wanted her best friend to be happy. One particular Friday night when Robin was staying at your house Billy tapped on your window almost giving her a heart attack thinking the monster from the movie you had just watched was coming. That night he let Robin in on his secret after you swore to him that he could trust her that she wouldn’t tell anyone. After that she understood why he was acting the way he used to in school better.

You and your two friends talked a bit until someone screamed "HARGROVE!“ you saw Billy cringe slightly "Hey Tommy“ Billy said to the boy that approached you all now. "What’s up? You gonna come to my party tonight right?“ he asked and Billy shrugged looking at you gave a small nod. "Yeah guess so.“ He said and Tommy clapped his back "That’s my man!“. They continue talking and you turn towards Robin "You’re coming too right?“ she makes a disapproving sound "It’s my last night and I want to spend it with my best friend please!“ you whine and a smile breaks out on her face "Okay okay!“ you hug her thightly once more.

Afterwards you and Billy went to your parents house to have dinner with them. They originally wanted to invite the Hargrove/Mayfield household too but you asked them not to. Without much explaining you had told your family that Billy had a difficult relationship with his father and that Neil was not a nice person. Billy was happy when he sat down at your table now. He always felt welcomed in your parents home and he was so thankful that they’d accepted him into their lives. You all ate and talked freely. You were also extremely happy seeing your parents and your boyfriend get along so nicely. After the dinner your parents handed you both a envelope. "We have a little present for the two of you. Go on open it!“ your mother said and you opened it, in it were two checks with 500 dollars each. Your family was far from rich so thousand dollars was a lot of money for you. "I- I can’t take this.“ Billy said shaking his head. "Billy. We love you, you are a part of this family now and we thought you two would need a little something for California.“ you father said. Billy looked at it for another moment while he blinked, he looked at your father "Thank you! A lot. Thank you.“ your mother gave the blonde another hug and you thanked them after that. You were so happy to have a loving family and you were sad to leave them. But you would had left Hawkins even if you hadn’t met Billy. You wanted to leave this town since you were 12.

"I can’t believe you are leaving me here!“ Robin pouted but you knew there were no hard feelings. You two sat on a bench in the garden of Tommys House, everyone else was inside drinking and dancing. After a bit Billy came through the door "Here you are.“ you shuffled closer to Robin so he could sit next to you. "Oh I forgot to tell you! I went to get my work uniform today and guess who’s my co worker?“ she asked you pulled your eyebrows up "Who?“ she took a sip from the red cup before saying "Steve fucking Harrington!“ you chuckled "Don’t laugh! It’s a nightmare!“ now you actually let out a laugh "Geez Robin maybe he’s nice...“ she rolled her eyes at you "He’s a dingus!“ "I agree!“ Billy said and you shot him a glance "You shouldn’t be so quick to judge him. Remember I wasn’t so happy either when I was paired up with this one.“ you nodded your head towards Billy "Hey!“ he chuckled holding a hand over his heart. "You know i love you know. But you were mean back then.“ you explained yourself "Yeah I was a dick...“

"Look people can change maybe you and Steve will become friends.“ Robin made a disgusted face "Okay stop before im going to puke.“ you leaned your head onto Billy’s shoulder as the topic of the conversation changed.

As you were about to leave you remembered to ask something "Oh Robin you’re coming over tomorrow right?“

"Of course what time?“ you thought about it "Billy comes over at 12 so maybe 10?“ she nodded and you all got into your parents car wich you drove since you didn’t owned one yourself and neither did Robin and the camaro was already packed with your suitcases and stuff you wanted to take with you to your knew home. You drove Robin home and then made your way to Billy’s house. "You really don’t want to stay over at mine?“ you asked as you looked at the House in front of you. "Nah my dad would actually kill me if I would do that.“ he leaned over to give you a kiss "Also after tonight I can share a bed with you every night.“ you hummed as you leaned in again. The sweet little kiss turned into a small make out session. Kissing Billy still made you nervous but a good kind of nervous, the butterflies were still there everytime. "I love you Billy.“ you said and he gave you a peck again "I love you too.“ he opened the door "See you tomorrow.“ he said. Once he reached the door he winked at you and then he was gone.

The next morning you had breakfast with your parents and packed a few things you needed like your shampoo and toothpaste, everything else was already in the Camaro. You had been able to downgrade your need of rooms once you were actually a couple since you wouldn’t need two separate bedrooms anymore. The flat you had ended up renting wasn’t that big but you loved it when you visited it a few weeks ago also it wasn’t far from the beach. Billy had already found a job there, one of his old friends had known someone who looked for a lifeguard this summer and being a California native he easily got the job. You would look for one in the coming weeks even though Billy was always telling you to apply for college in California but you wanted to start college with him next year.

Robin came over to your house and you talked until Billy came over. You said your goodbyes to your parents first crying but they assured you that you did the right thing and that the two would be back to thanksgiving anyway. Robin hugged you tight and you had to swear to her to call every week at least once and meet up with her when you were in town. You also told her that she should come visit you at the end of summer. While you talked to her your parents hugged Billy goodbye and once you parted Robin looked at the mulled haired boy "Come here you Dingus!“ they hugged and you heard her say "Take good care of her!“ he chuckled "I will.“ she smiled too "Yeah I know.“ you got into the car’s passenger seat, still crying and you all waved as you left. "Are you sure you want to do this... with me?“ Billy asked almost whispering. "Of course I want to B!“ he didn’t looked at you "Billy I love you and I want to start this new part of my life with you! I’m sure in this decision! I want this.“ he smiled now "I want this too. Fuck You don’t know how happy I am that I’m able to leave and on top of that I have you.“ you intertwined your fingers with his and he gave your hand a kiss.

The drive was exhausting, you took turns driving so the other could sleep but finally you did it. The moment you stood in the living room of your new home you knew this long drive was worth it. You squealed as you hugged Billy close giving him a few fast kisses. You were able to get a small flat that was already furnished. Sure it wasn’t anything fancy but you wouldn’t want to have it any other way. This was perfect. After you brought your stuff inside you decided to take a walk on the beach and get some takeaway.

Billy watched the smile on your face wich made him smile as well. You walked hand in hand, the water beside you and you just looked stunning to him. He could actually cry because of how happy he was. "I can’t believe this.“ Billy said and you looked up at him "I know it’s perfect here.“ he stopped walking causing you to also halt. "I love you y/n. You don’t know how much and I’d never thought that would be possible but here I am.“ you smiled up at the boy with the blonde mullet and your heart hammered in your chest. "I love you too Billy Hargrove.“ he smiled a genuine smile, the one he gave only you before he slipped his hand in yours and kissed the back of it briefly as you started to walk along the shore again.

[maxwell-grant]

Charlie Chan. Who is fascinating, because he was created explictly to be an anti-Yellow Peril character. Unlike most Chinese characters of the time, he's both intelligent, physically capable, and unambiguously heroic. In the novels, he's simultaneously proud of being Chinese AND proud of being an American citizen. He gives orders and instructions to white people, and the narrative treats this as perfectly normal and acceptable. There's a bit in the first book, when an attempt to trap the..(1/2)

(cont'd)There's a bit in the first book where an attempt to trap the protagonist fails, because a message supposedly from Charlie clearly isn't because Charlie's English isn't broken, it's like poetry. Etc. The movies made him more stereotypical, & played by white actors in yellowface, but still, he's a heroic Chinese man, who is as capable and patriotic as any white man. Nowadays, he's thought of as racist caricature. Which he is, but still, it makes one think.

I'm not nearly as acquainted with Charlie Chan as you are (and I definitely suspected he was less racist in the original books because that's nearly always the norm when it comes to pulp characters) but yeah, that "Which he is" is forever going to be the most unfortunate and saddest part of it all when it comes to Charlie Chan. For all the virtues that can be bestowed on Charlie Chan, for everything great that the character had going for him and inspired, the fact that the least offensive image of the character I could find to put here for illustration's sake is from the Hanna-Barbera cartoon kinda exemplifies the big elephant in the room when it comes to Charlie.

Charlie Chan is a great example of two things: One is the way progress is never a fixed quantity and often what was progressive and forward-thinking in it's time can become something outdated and backwards and downright offensive given enough time, and the 2nd is my constant stressing that this is all the more incentive to reclaim the pulps and either highlight or fix aspects of them, instead of dismissing every aspect of them based on the preconception that everything about it's history is unforgivably bigoted and must be handled with the nuance of a sledgehammer.

I stress time and time again the need to highlight and understand the prejudices that went into pulps, because either ignoring them or wielding them as a weapon to attack them does no favors to anyone. The pulps weren't exceptionally bigoted - look at literally any medium in it's time period and you'll find bigotry and prejudice and hatred - and they were exceptional in the number of POC heroes and heroines. Pulps were a medium of experimentation and cheap entertainment that gave way to much, much more varied kinds of protagonists than were permitted in films, serials, novels, comics and radio serials of the day. Imagine if no one was allowed to bring up and discuss superheroes without mentioning the Superman Slap-a-Jap posters or the Captain Marvel story so horrifingly racist it was recounted by an American ambassador after it deeply offended a friend's son and a major influence on the 1950s anti-comic trials. "Pulp fiction had deeply, unforgivingly racist depictions that deserve intense scrutiny and cannot be ignored" and "Pulp fiction was significantly ahead of every other medium at the time in regards to authors and editors striving to publish stories about heroic POCs, this cannot be dismissed and is something that needs to be perpetuated" are not exclusive facts. "A product of it's time" is not an excuse and never was, but it's a fact nevertheless.

Every time someone speaks favorably of Charlie Chan in any capacity, they have to start with a long preface of everything positive that the character had going for him. Yes, he's a deliberate subversion of the Yellow Peril, he's a heroic protagonist, he's plump and good-natured and humorous but far from a joke, he's friendly and pleasant and well-educated and wise, he's a good dad and family man and a terrifically sharp detective who's so good at his job he gets called to solve crimes all over the world, and none of these traits are apparent to people who have to google the character and repeteadly see a white man in awful make-up into every single image of the character, who watch the movies and cringe at the broken English. It's hardly relevant in the face of all the Asian-American critics who acknowledge the character's virtues but rightfully point out that this fortune-cookie spouting caricature, acting subservient to whites and whose virtues are based around his proximity to a white American ideal, doesn't represent them and they shouldn't pretend it does.

Which isn't to say that to like Charlie Chan is "wrong", a lot of East Asians love Charlie and the character's obviously got fans in Asian Americans. It's a complicated subject and I obviously cannot begin to vouch in a subject so heavily based around perceptions I cannot experience. And I deeply detest the idea of speaking for others on their particular experiences on this kind of matter, which is something Americans do a lot everytime they talk about representation in media.

So instead, I'm going to tackle this on a roundabout manner by going on an unrelated tangent to bring up an example of representation that isn't quite representative of what it's supposed to be, has a lot of issues that have been dissected by critics among the people it was supposed to represent, and none of that stopped the character from being popular and beloved and from being claimed anyway. And it's a Brazilian fighting game character, which means it's completely within my ballpark.

Yeah, obviously Blanka doesn't look like anyone who lives in Brazil (whatever resemblance he bears to redheaded jungle protectors of Brazilian folklore is purely accidental). Obviously neither Jimmy nor Blanka are Brazilian names or even exist in the Portuguese lexicon. Obviously there are issues in Street Fighter's approach to representation across the board, sure, and I'd actually say Laura is much worse than Blanka in that regard (again, my opinion, obviously not universal), but the fact remains that Blanka is and has always been pretty controversial. Obviously there's Brazilians who took offense to Blanka and they weren't wrong to do so, and I obviously do not speak for everyone here, that goes without saying.

Obviously the idea that Brazil's major representative in a global cast of characters, the first big name Brazilian character in videogames, is going to be a freakish jungle monster who roars and bites faces has problems, as is the fact that all the others get to be regular people representing fighting styles from their countries while Blanka doesn't. None of the Brazilian SF characters represent Capoeira, which is kinda shitty to be honest. And there's a whole stereotype of Brazil as a backwards land of beasts and savages that Blanka's creation played into. There's no shortage of ground to criticize Blanka's representation and Ono actually apologized in an interview once, but then he learned one teensy little thing:

Street Fighter is very popular on Brazil. Would you like to leave a message to the fans from there?

"Ono: Yes, I'm aware. At the time of Street Fighter II a lot of the arcade machines produced went there, so I knew we had lots of fans there. A message to Brazilians, well, I'd like to apologize. I know Blanka's a weird character and I don't want any Brazilian to feel uncomfortable with that.

When Blanka was conceived, we knew there were forests in Brazil, and so we thought he could look like that. I was actually kinda nervous knowing I'd meet Brazilian journalists. Still, this is the first Street Fighter in ten years, so we'd like all fans to play, including Brazilians, which are many.

Thanks. Well, but you should know that Brazilians love Blanka

"Ono: Ah, good! I was scared of getting beat up if I ever went to São Paulo! (laughs)"

(That's from a 2012 tv special called The Greatest Brazilian of All Time where over a million viewers voted to elect whoever they wanted, and Blanka was going to win. He was polling ahead of Aryton Senna and PELÉ, fucking Pelé, yes this happened. He wasn't even disqualified for being a cartoon character, it was an open poll, he was disqualified due to canon stating he had been born in Thailand, which I think may have been retconned since then. Again, A MILLION BRAZILLIANS voted for this contest, and Blanka was going to win.)

Blanka is great and sweet and lovable, he made the best out of the incredible shitty hands fate dealt him and became a cool and strong green man who shoots lightning and flies, a self-taught warrior who rides whales and planes to fighting tournaments, and he loves his mom and friends and kicks ass and after he's done he dances in joy and gives the kids of his village piggyback rides, and Brazil loves him. He doesn't represent any existing person or fighting style, he's rooted in a negative stereotype and incorrect assumptions, he's not even really Brazilian, and he's our boy and nobody can take him away from us.

No criticism of Blanka, no matter how in-depth or even right it is, is ever going to affect that, because regardless of what was wrong or misguided and offensive about him, we claimed him and loved him so throughly that Capcom kept playing up Brazilian representation in every subsequent game post Alpha, and because of Blanka's impact and reception in such a big game, Brazilian characters have become a staple of fighting games, and that's how we got much more diverse representatives in those games. Fighting games have more Brazilian representation than LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE on media not produced here. It started as BAD representation, with way less thought put into it than Charlie Chan, and it still mattered to a lot of Brazilians who reclaimed it and made it better than it was ever intended to be, and as a response to it, it gradually became better. 

Progress is not a fixed quantity, it's an uphill battle, and it's not unwinnable. Everything's gotta start somewhere.

The Good Asian is a ongoing comic that I think does the best job I've seen yet of handling an Asian American detective protagonist, which is not really a high bar in the first place, and more to the point, The Good Asian illustrates the 2nd part: the reclaiming. The Good Asian deals a lot with the realities that a 1930s Asian-American detective would run into, the strained circumstances and relationships between said character and the world around him, because it's born from an author who took a look at Charlie Chan and Mr Moto and the like and recognized the potential in those stories that could not be fulfilled in it's time period by the people writing said stories. 

The Good Asian pays little reverence to Charlie Chan, but it acknowledges that it cannot exist without Charlie Chan, and it reclaims the Charlie Chan premise at the hands of someone more adequately equipped to tell a gripping story that goes places none of Charlie's contemporaries would ever go. Regardless of how good or bad of representation Charlie Chan was, Charlie Chan mattered and was beloved and inspired a better example for others to improve on or rebel against.

I desperately wish that I could google Charlie Chan without having to look at a guy in yellowface, and the ONLY way that's going to happen is if the character ever gets meaningfully brought back and reclaimed for good by people who can meaningfully tackle the character and present him as he should have always been presented.

And then, I imagine it would be a lot easier to show people on how swell Charlie really is. A true, positive role model and hero, who no longer has to look like a gross cartoon to be able to exist at all. Who can finally be what he was always meant to be, and always was deep down.