#(or at least for a while. maybe ill go back to school for illustration or smth in a few years. but not for while definitely)

[michameinmicha]

Made it through my last day of school today!!

[dark-rainbows]

Author notes: Heya! this is just abit of the snippet of a fic I been coming up these past few days, dunno the title just yet but it is a Step!bro Jotaro x Step!sibling Reader fic, as I read some thirsts  fics of some and got inspired to make my own.

Pairing: Step!Sibling reader x Big step!bro Jotaro

warning(s): Step sibling relationship, incest pretty much, mention of pinning (pretty much playing around atm), mention of feeling wetness, possessive! jotaro 

ALSO!! this isnt the full fic (just want to clarify)  the rest of it will be finished...hopefully soon? i dunno, but this is what I got at the moment, i hope it sounds interesting and ppl like it, thank you<3 and if you see any mistakes ill fix them alter in the finished fic ( and for the full fic ill have a illustrated picture for the story!)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s never easy being the younger sibling to Jotaro Kujo, or step-sibling that is.

Yes, even though you two weren’t connected by blood you still had to deal with the overprotectiveness of big bro jo.

You two first met each other when your father decided to take you over ms. Holly's home for dinner.

 That's when you meant the infamous Jotaro kujo, locking eyes with him almost instantly by the entrance of the home. You were behind your father, clenching your light pink fluffy rabbit in your arms as he talked to your soon-to-be stepmother. A little scared of your new surroundings and unsure about entering the stranger's home, you stayed real close to your father. Jojo took notice and came up to you offering you a hand, which had holly and your father in shock by his odd nature of kindness towards someone new. You hesitated as you didn't know the boy at the time, his height and semi-built was a somewhat factor of your hesitation; he looks probably only two years older than you at most. But after some seconds you took his hand and slowly led inside step by step, he kept you close to him as you too made your way further inside the home.

Ms. Holly and your father would soon break up, but instead of your father taking you he left you there, just like he left ms. Holly. It broke you as he was the only person you knew, and jotaro saw that and faced the same thing with his father, which explains his closeness.

And ever since then jotaro has been very protective of you, even seeming to change his attitude towards people when you would come in circles. When teachers would have some trouble with him in 

In their classrooms, they would call you in to ease him down, which surprisingly worked. 

Of course, not everything between you two was always sunshine and kisses, you two had your fights. The ones where jotaro always, and you mean ALWAYS had you pinned to some bed while he climbed on top of you and watched you squirm and whine for him to release you; it would take him some time to finally do so, as it seemed he liked to see you whine out to him.

But, with years passing jotaro was becoming more and more unbearable And almost very possessive of you like...you belonged to him..and that you two were more than just step brother and step-sibling. The idea made you feel things, odd things that made your stomach turn but also made your lower half heat up and feel..wet.

 You didn't mind being close to your big bro, your step bro..but there was something about him that made you feel things. Those feelings felt wrong but at the time they would feel something else.

It was probably the way he would stretch in the morning with his shirt off and you seeing all the muscles in his back-- or how deep and growly his voice sounded when he would wake up from his naps--- OR the way he would just look at you when your talking, just keeping his eyes on you and giving a soft smile during it. Your heart at those moments just beat faster, but strangely your inner thighs would feel hot and....weird.

Those feelings would happen again, but this time with another boy who didn't live under the same roof as you. A new boy at your school who’s name was hard for you to remember as you mostly paid attention to his lips and looks. You would BRAG about the new boy from school to your friends, your neighbors, even ms. Holly. But never jotaro...only because when you even seemed to bring him up he would just huff at the mention of him and walk off.

One day while at dinner, you brought up the schoolboy again and talked about how he looked at you and how he complimented your smell and looks for that day, you were getting flustered by the thought of memory. Ms. Holly kept gassing you up with the possibility of the boy liking you, but from across the table, there was another person who was not in tune with the conversation. Jotaro stayed almost completely quiet during your, what seemed, 30-minute talk about your crush. 

I

He scoffed and dropped his fork and knife onto the plate. "I'm done," he said before leaving you and miss holly at the table just for him to escape into his room with heavy metal playing right after. It was normal for jotaro to do stuff like that, but he would at least put plates and utensils in the sink.

 Ever since the boy been mentioned in the house he has been acting weird about it, even at school he would follow you around making sure you’re going to class and not trying to "sneak off" to go to see him.

 It was annoying, and you were an adult...almost...but still annoying to know your stepbro was still treating you like you were a child again like you were that scared little girl that couldn't handle the world. 

One day, when ms. Holly went out to get some groceries, you were setting up a study meet with the new boy at school. This was a great time as you can finally get to spend some alone time with your talked-about your crush. Especially since Jotaro was going out with his friends for next few hour, giving you enough time to close up and cozy and maybe even physical with your crush. As you were dashing around the house and cleaning up your room for your company, jotaro was in his room getting ready to leave. He heard you run across the hallway and even knocked over some things outside his door, he huffed at the sounds and after adjusting his hat for the fifth time he opened the door to find you holding up a bunch blankets in that were stored in miss. Holly's room in one arm, a big comfy body pillows in the other, and two large size of beer bottles, which were hidden so only jotaro could find them.

He looked at all the items that were in your possession and then stared at you, "Y/N, what are you doing?" 

His deep and demanding voice stopped you in my our tracks, you turned and looked up at your older step brother, "...Uh...nothing, just..uh, stepping up a little study meet with a friend?" You lied as you tried to hide the two beer bottles out of jotaro's sight.

"A friend hm? Then why do you have beer, blankets and mom's bigass body pillows with ya?" He pointed.

"Well, of course the pillows are for us to get comfortable, and the blankets just in case it gets cold we can cover each other with them," you said ignoring the two beer bottles that were still in your hand.

"Okay. What about the beer," he folded his arms as he knew you didn’t have an answer for that one. 

"Beer? Uh...well, the beer-" just as you were about to give the dumbest explanation why you had to beer bottles in your hand three Hard Knocks come about from your front door. You nearly dropped everything including the beer from the sound.

You turned your direction to the sound, "Shit! That must be him!" You cursed.

"Him?" Jotaro quirked an eyebrow, not expecting it to be a man, but he knew exactly who it may be from you slip of words.

"Ill get that," he said nearly bumping into you, making you almost drop the bottles and blankets.

[selfmadesuperhero]

GOOD NEWS IS I GRADUATED!

bad news is i've been unemployed since february (just before the freakin' world came apart) and actually /paying/ for that degree ran me to the ground for 5+ years.

i'm... not really sure if i can afford rent this month? which is a problem because there are exactly... five job listings for developers right now and I can apply to none? oh well.

i started an Etsy shop a while back because that's Cami's (gf) only (and very little) source of income, and I thought maybe I could try it too, but sadly i have sold zero commissions.

my store

i haven't really produced that kind of fandom-y illustration in a while, that's why you probably know most of the drawings shown, but hey - i'm gonna choose to believe these past 5 years of school made me a better artist anyway, because i'm never getting all that money back.

with everything that's going on in the world, i can't be too upset that i haven't made money selling something as shallow as art. however, if anyone here is looking to buy art, i'm offering a 50% discounts for old tumblr friends, since i've gotten so much support from so many people on this site for so many critical years of my life and transition.

TUMBLRFRND50

(i think maybe having at least a couple sales would help the store move along? idk man)

if you want to help out but can't afford to pay 50% of anything, hit me up and ill make u a bigger discount <3

stay safe guys

[lifewithoutrainydays]

I'm back on my bullshit (watching putting others first again) and it hurts so much??? Patton's role as a side is definitely more heart/emotions/compassion than morality, but he’s still Morality, albeit very much a Sunday School form of it, and, well, "love thy neighbour" is the golden rule, according to the book that my primary school was themed around

Unfortunately, Patton is human. well, part of a human. He isn’t perfect. He doesn’t know everything, but he’s also the dad guy. He’s got to teach his kids (who are very insistent that they’re not his kids) when they ask about the world

In SvS, Thomas essentially asked Patton to simplify ‘good’ and ‘bad’ into clearly divided concepts with no overlap, because Janus had twisted “go to the callback” to “go to the callback and lie about what you’re actually doing” to ultimately making everything about being a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ person

Patton’s problem wasn’t that he was being overly moralistic or whatever. I think that, if Janus didn’t skew Roman’s “hospitalised Aunt Patty vs. something good” comparison into a blatant suggestion to lie about something serious without any real necessity, and if he hadn’t turned it into a battle of ‘good’ and ‘bad’, then Patton would have agreed pretty easily to the callback. Like, Thomas could have been honest with himself, and said that he wanted to go the the callback instead of the wedding, but he didn’t. Janus tried to get him to do that (congratulations Janus!!!), but he messed up his Logan impression, immediately gave up, and took Thomas to court over it. He set the whole thing up as, essentially, an argument between himself and Patton, and presented himself as an attacking force rather than an advocate for Thomas’s wellbeing. Then again, that can kind of be explained by the fact that Thomas himself isn’t comfortable with self-advocacy. which. big mood

And that’s Patton’s problem. Sunday School morality. “Love thy neighbour.” To be good, the most important thing is to love other people, and treat them with kindness and respect. What would Jesus do? Jesus died in penitence for humanity’s sins. The morality you learn as a child in those illustrated bibles says that Jesus is the kindest, best, most perfect person, and by dying, he made everything better. His conflict and fear regarding his imminent death exists as “let this cup pass me by,” but he soon accepts it, as, “Your will be done.”

Fun fact that’s a bit of a digression! The Agony in Gethsemane is conveyed, in the musical Jesus Christ Superstar, as a six-minute rock ballad, ending in his acceptance as a sacrifice, but asking God for it to happen “now, before I change my mind.” He kind of gets to be more selfish. He gets to be angry about his impending demise. Now, which character took up half an endcard delivering various musical puns after his introduction episode?

Back to neighbour-loving. It’s an incomplete quote. The full (or, well, a fuller) thing is “Love your neighbour as thyself,” or, in plain English, “Love other people as much as you love yourself.” Not more than, but not less than

That’s Patton’s problem. Not just as a compassionate Morality, but as an empathetic heart that feels what other people feel, Patton is concerned with the external; with giving love. Jesus is the pinnacle of a ‘good person’, and his death is necessary for the wellbeing of others. His Father made him with the intention of him dying at thirty-three in order to make up for everyone’s sins. And, well, if Patton’s the dad guy... I may have just committed blasphemy. Cool! I didn’t know I knew how to do that!!!

Janus is the snake with the forbidden fruit. He offers knowledge; understanding; independence; freedom. In the ignorance that drives you to learn, condemn everyone with your inability to blindly trust authority. Think for yourself. Exist as yourself. Be yourself; a self; an individual! Bask in the sensation of being! Seek pleasure, because what else does the ability to feel good exist for?

Doing good feels good. That’s okay. It’s okay to seek pleasure. It’s not a sin to feel nice

While Patton is focused on others, Janus is focused on himself; on Thomas. In fearing Deceit, Thomas also feared loving himself. How can you love your neighbour as much as you love yourself when you don’t love yourself? When you subconsciously treat yourself as less worthy of love?

And the thing is, Patton’s aware of that, at least on some level. The video begins, and Patton is hyperaware of everything he’s doing wrong. He constantly corrects himself. He tries to make himself non-threatening, because he’s been a threat to Thomas, and he knows it. He tries to be kinder and gentler. He’s being asked the difference between ‘good’ and ‘bad’ two episodes after he had to completely separate the two, and one episode after he learnt that he shouldn’t do that

Thomas didn’t want to be a bad person. Therefore, Patton had to make Thomas a good person. Patton swore on a youth bible, guys. He’s not equipped for complex moral issues. He’s painfully aware of his own imperfections, and he tries his best to express that he probably shouldn’t be the authority on these things. He says “maybe,” and “who knows,” because he doesn’t know, but he’s being asked anyway

Patton isn’t an actual dad. He’s more the dad friend than anything. He’s not an authority, but he’s being put into that position, and he’s being asked questions that he doesn’t know the answer to. He’s learnt a little bit more, but the courtroom had him divide things into ‘good’ and ‘bad’; ‘selfless’ and ‘selfish’. It’s broken, now. It’s been split

‘Selfish’ is now effectively synonymous with ‘bad’, because that’s how Deceit presented it in the courtroom. Therefore, you can’t act in your own self-interest and be a good person. Anything that makes you feel good as a primary benefit is immoral. This moral absolutism turns into asceticism. Self-denial for spiritual fulfilment

Literally nobody wanted this, but it’s the logical extreme of black-or-white thinking. Janus pushed Patton to an extreme - to his very own mental health crisis - in order to make his point, which is kind of a dickish thing to do, tbh. Janus might have felt like Thomas wasn’t utilising his “one goal of self-preservation” due to his desire to be a good person, and, well, the actual Roman God Janus saw the past with one face, but the future with the other

I don’t know if this is a normal person thing, or just that I’ve been mentally ill for so long, but, without external events affecting matters, I can usually tell if I’m headed on a downwards spiral. If an external event pops up, which I won’t be able to predict in advance, but which I will be able to respond to, I can predict how I’ll react to that, too. That’s how Janus can predict the future

Janus knew that Thomas was headed towards a downward spiral. He knew that attending the wedding would exacerbate it. He knew that Thomas needed his love to be directed inwards, so he manipulated and sacrificed Patton for it, but, then, since Thomas’s sense of self also involves caring for other people, he helped put Patton back together

i’m so tired i’ve been writing this for like three and a half hours

[stclla]

hello loves! my name is bri and i’m so excited to get the chance to write with all of your beautiful muses ♡ i just turned 24 (ew), my pronouns are she/her, and my timezone is est (luckily i live about an hour outside of nyc, and plan to move there permanently in 2021 yay !!!) 

tbh it’s been at least a year since my last rp group and i’m a little rusty, so pls feel free to share your tips and lmk how i’m doing :) my writing style is pretty flexible and i match length, pov, etc. and now !! a little bit of info about my beautiful chaotic bby stella:

ABOUT.

estelle “stella” celestine evans was spotted in the fashion district adorning gucci ankle boots , with some airpod pros on . they’re most likely listening to heat waves by glass animals . you may know them as @stella or as that sydney sweeney lookalike . their twenty-second birthday just passed . while living in the upper east side , they’ve gained a bit of a reputation . they’re known to be reckless but on the other hand warmhearted . wonder if they’ll be the next person to hit the headlines .

BASIC INFO.

Full Name: Estelle Celestine Evans

Nickname(s): Stella

Age: 22

Date of Birth: August 4, 1998

Sun Sign: Leo

Moon Sign: Cancer

Rising Sign: Scorpio

Hometown: Beverly Hills, CA

Current Location: Upper East Side, NY

Gender: Cis female

Pronouns: She/her

Orientation: Pansexual

Political Affiliation: Liberal

Occupation: Supermodel, socialite, influencer

Career Highlights: Victoria’s Secret Angel, high fashion runways, print & editorial work, music video appearances, photography, art direction

Goals/Passions: Photography, art direction, fashion design, makeup, social media

Career Claim: Gigi Hadid

BIOGRAPHY.

When your mom’s a legendary supermodel and your dad is a smooth talking Hollywood talent agent, it’s safe to say that you were probably born with a silver spoon in your mouth. But don’t you dare say that shit to Stella Evans. Although she definitely enjoyed the finer things in life growing up and was practically gifted a spot in wealthy elite by her parents, Stella likes to believe that she did it all herself. And underneath it all - the glitz and the glam and the money and the flashing lights - maybe she actually did.

While this blonde haired, blue eyed beauty might be the spitting image of her mother with a few (okay, a lot) more extra curves, Stella tries to distance herself from her family heritage as much as possible. It started in kindergarten when she renamed herself. After all, being named after the notorious Estelle Evans doesn’t make you a lot of friends when you’re five. It makes you the subject of ridicule from your peers, and makes your teachers treat you as if you were the one posing topless in Italian Vogue. And when your mother made you model for a big Baby Guess modeling campaign at the age of 2, kids tended to talk. So she became Stella. Just Stella.

From then on, she did everything she could to separate herself from her parents. If her parents said to stay in, she went out. If they told her to get good grades, she failed her classes in retaliation. Their attention was all consuming, especially her mother’s. After the once popular cover girl had retired, she turned all of her attention to her daughter. Stella’s modeling work had been paused at the suggestion of her talent agent father, Arthur Evans. He wanted her to focus on school and get an education so she could take over the talent agency one day. But when Estelle and Arthur divorced when Stella was 10 years old, all bets were off.

Her mother hopped from loveless marriage to loveless marriage, dragging Stella along for the ride. Her father moved to the Upper East Side, vowing to see her at Christmas each year, while Stella jetted around the world against her will. 6th and 7th grade in Sweden, 8th grade in London, 9th and 10th grade in Paris. It was a long and lonely adolescence, but Stella filled it with booze, bars, and boys and girls to keep her company. Partying was her only escape. And she was damn good at escaping.

She had her first real relationship when she was 16. He was an older French financier who was content to spoil her rotten and show her a good time. Perhaps too good a time. Stella was introduced to the things that would become her vices - namely, drugs and alcohol. Her mother proved to be overbearing but oblivious. She would do things like criticize her daughter’s makeup, clothing, and body, but be completely unaware that Stella was doing things like snorting coke to get thinner. She’d call her trashy for going out to clubs, then look the other way when Stella would wear a short mini skirt when leaving for “study sessions” at the library. With Stella’s clever wit and electric charisma, it really was too easy. The drugs combined with the alcohol made her feel better because she didn’t really feel anything at all. Plus, if her parents hated partying, then Stella would learn to love it.

Shit hit the fan when Stella was arrested in France. Something about being an accomplice to international drug smuggling and being under the influence of a controlled substance - whatever. 16 year old Stella got off with a slap on the wrist due to her connections, promising to move back to New York with her dad until she was 18 and legal. The Upper East Side was her new home, and weirdly enough, she actually kind of liked it. It was easier to start over in New York, where no one cared about her washed up mother. But they did care about money, wealth, and excess, which Stella was more than an expert in, whether she liked it or not. This made her presence in the New York social scene almost magnetic. People would flock to her, drawn in by her ethereal beauty, effortless charm, and “fuck it all” party girl attitude.

Attention was a dangerous drug for a girl like Stella, who had spent her whole life freeing herself from her mother’s tarnished legacy. And when she had finally done it, had finally succeeded in making people call her “Stella Evans” instead of “Baby Estelle”, it made her wild with reckless abandon. All her new friends and lovers wanted to buy her shots and make her feel good any way she wanted, and it was only polite for Stella to let them do it.

The next few years were filled with exclusive clubs, raucous spring breaks, glamorous yacht parties, champagne kisses with boys and girls, social media notoriety, and juicy headlines that cemented her status as an it-girl. Her modeling career resumed with a promise to her father that she would go to college at the same time. Armed with a golden reputation, endless connections, and natural charisma and talent, Stella began to walk all the major runways and was in talks to appear in Sports Illustrated and Victoria’s Secret. Unlike her mother, she proved that she had both high fashion attitude and sex appeal. Stella was unstoppable.

Until she wasn’t. After a night of drinking and an ill-timed bet that she could parallel park her date’s Range Rover (despite the fact that Stella didn’t have a license to speak of), the police charged her with a DUI. This time, she didn’t get off so easy. Her father pulled as many strings as possible to keep her image clean in the press, but word got out anyway. Fucking instagram.

Faced with the threat of losing her big modeling campaigns, Stella agreed to clean up her image. Think rehab, charity work, inspirational interviews. The whole shebang. And it worked - kind of. It’s hard to navigate a world filled with temptation, but Stella doesn’t know how to survive without the glitz and glamour of the wealthy world. She dropped out of college against her dad’s wishes, officially surrendering herself to the New York social scene. Rich girls have more fun, anyway. But sometimes she hates it and wants to be “normal”. Even so, she knows that she never will be and embraces the beautiful chaos that her life of excess brings to her.

As far as rich kids go, Stella is almost down-to-earth. Kind of. She likes to think that she is, but she’s also the kind of girl who would never be caught dead on the subway. Or a taxi. Black cars and private jets only, please. Underneath it all, Stella wants (and frankly, needs) real connections in her life. People who genuinely care about her and have her best interests at heart are extremely rare, so when Stella lets someone get close to her, they’re with her for life. Her reckless, carefree attitude can definitely get her into trouble, so she can be a handful.

But one of her shining traits is that she doesn’t judge, at least not as openly and viciously as her peers. Stella’s life of wealth and status is definitely ingrained in her, but she is also openminded and accepting. Her friends don’t need to be old money. They just need to be real. You can catch her being the talk of the town in her native Upper East Side, but also vibing with the up and comers in Tribeca. Below the layers of superficiality and obsession with the finer things in life, this supermodel has a heart of gold. But don’t fuck with her. Stella is dangerous and defiant when she wants to be, and nothing can get in the way of her getting what she wants. Even if what she wants could destroy her one day.

*** her bio is still a wip and i’m working on some inspo for wanted connections, but definitely lmk if you have any questions or think stella would be a good fit for connections with your muses ! 

[stop-him]

The Sun is the Same in a Relative Way, But:

On December 14, 2020, I woke up feeling feverish. Later that day, a test revealed that it was not the flu I had, but Covid-19.

My symptoms were mild: a fever that wobbled from 99 to 103 and back, and a general lethargy. At no point did I have any kind of difficulty that made me feel my life was in danger. I didn’t even have a cough. Ten days later the fever went away, and I seem to have recovered fully, with no indication of lasting effects.

Even so, when the doctor handed me the papers and said, “you’re positive for Covid”, there was that little thought in the back of my head – “oh crap. Is this it? Am I going to be one of the ones that have their lungs turn into useless wet sacks?” After all, I’m in my 50s. People far younger and healthier than myself have died from this thing.

The point of this is not to wring any kind of sympathy from my illness – obviously I survived, and luckily ducked the worst possible effects. But that initial uncertainty brought home something that’s been eating at me for a while now.

Let’s face it: Odds are, I have more years behind me than ahead of me. And if the virus had killed me? All the characters in my head, all the stories about those characters I want to tell, all the music I want to record, but haven’t, yet – all that would have died with me.

Had you asked me thirty years ago what I thought I would be doing at this point, I would have said I would be a writer of comic books, and a musician on the side. Somehow, I figured, I would “break into” comics, starting in small indies and maybe working my way up to mainstream superhero comics, and from there launch into my big epic space fantasy story, having proved myself as a worthy writer, one able to attract competent artistic partners to draw my story for me, because drawing is a difficult pain in the ass. On the side, I would be making strange music, gathering a small cult following – certainly not anything like a rock star, but maybe doing well enough in my own niche to keep things self-sustaining.

Do you recognize my name? No? That’s because none of what I just described has happened. I haven’t broken into any significant comics work. Small things published here and there. Did some lettering work for a few comics. Some coloring. This and that. Had a few opportunities – many were with shaky and unreliable operations who evaporated into nothing before anything could be done. Some things didn’t work out because I messed up, or my equipment failed. Cold submissions to comics companies are one of the most difficult ways to get work for a writer, and I’ve never come even close to working for any major comics publisher.

You may have heard stories from various kinds of artists about how they held down two jobs and put themselves through school and managed to work on their art, and good for them. Sadly, I have not been constructed that way. Since I did not spend my school time learning how to be a CPA, I have been working for most of my life at not-great-paying light industrial kinds of jobs. I get by – but I spend my workday doing physical labor, which drains my energy and stamina and leaves me with not a lot to spare when I have any time to try to create anything.

I have managed to make some music, ranging from abstract soundscapes to somewhat more accessible electronica, but either I suck at promoting my stuff (quite possible) or it just sucks and hardly anyone likes it (also quite possible). No cult following has materialized – no following at all, in fact.

As I have aged, and failed to meet any of my youthful goals, my sense of unhappiness with my artistic achievements has put a further hamper on my efforts – it’s difficult to muster a lot of energy towards doing the hard work of creating, when there’s a fairly strong voice in your head saying “why bother? Nobody’s going to care about anything you do, just like the last few decades.” I’ve lived into an age where it’s ridiculously easy to publish your work online, compared to when I was younger, and also easy to get lost and ignored in the sheer crush of material competing for attention, and I simply haven’t been able to make it.

I hate New Year’s resolutions – I never manage to fulfill them, and the very concept then hangs over my head, another reminder of failure and years slipping away, like a Pink Floyd song. Which has the risk of becoming dreadfully maudlin, laid out in text like this, but I need to take a sober assessment of where I am, right now.

Because I think I would really fucking hate it if I were on my deathbed, whether from the next iteration of Covid or just old age, knowing that the big story I’ve been forming in my head since I was in junior high was just going to go into oblivion with the rest of me.

My original plan was to become successful, and if not famous, at least respected enough that I could hire competent people to draw this story. Well, that didn’t happen, and I certainly don’t have the money to hire artists for that kind of long-term work. I also don’t care to share the rights to a story that’s been in my head for decades with any prospective artist that might decide to bug out after 20 pages.

So that leaves me, and my own powers of illustration, which are, to put it generously, mixed. I simply have not put in the kind of effort that others have in developing my drawing skills, in part because I wasn’t planning on needing them that much, and also just because I haven’t had the time. And so here we are: I can draw the comic myself, or just go entirely text, which I’d rather not do.

I should – should – get off my can and make this comic, regardless of skill (or lack thereof), regardless of whether there’s any reward for the extraordinary effort it would take to do it. I should do it because the alternative is to never have it expressed.

I just don’t know yet if I can. But it might be time to find out.

[damn-the-dark]

FAQ

Mobile friendly! :D Just some trends I noticed in my ask box, I figured I could sum up a few things and give some general info! This post will be updated occasionally as new info is needed! 

What do you draw with/on?

I have two set-ups :3 I primarily use my iPad Pro (the newer model, 2018 I think) and the app Procreate, especially because it’s surprisingly powerful for being a mobile program! But if I need to work on really big canvases (body pillows, large format prints etc.) I have at home an HP desktop with a Huion KAMVAS 22 drawing monitor and Clip Studio Paint & Paint Tool SAI. The huion ran me about 900$ but there are smaller versions that are much more cost effective :D and it performs as well if not better that the cintiq I had prior! Also! Both Clip and SAI are only 50$ but if you catch Clip on sale it’s only 25$!!

How are you so good at art???

Aw geez I’m not good at answering this ;w; I’m going to preface this by saying the ‘goodness’ of art is arbitrary and often formed from the western ideal that good art is how well you can capture reality. This isn’t inherently true, in my eyes art is good when it establishes a connection between the artist and the viewer, everyone has different tastes than the next person so different art will resonate with them while with others it won’t.

That said I did spend all my life drawing, it was fun for me to be able to appreciate things I liked by drawing them! I landed in art school and spent 6 years getting my bachelor’s degree in illustration, however I’ll say that the only thing beneficial I got out of it were the figure drawing classes and even then, drawing a figure over and over means nothing without understanding the anatomy underneath it |D (I recommend this book even for 2-D artists because it covers the topic so well) Of course this only applies if your art is representative in some way, cartoons are even improved by a general understanding of anatomy!

In short just keep learning! You’ll never stop! You will improve! You Have No Choice :)))

Do you take commissions?

I take commissions from time to time, the best way to find out if I’m available is to ask! Feel free to DM me, I’m Soft and cry every time someone wants to get a drawing done by me ;w;

My current rates are:

40$ Icon/Headshot (comes fully colored + shaded)

60$ Half-Body Lineart

70$ Half-Body Color and Shading

85$ Full-Body Lineart

100$ Full-Body Color and Shading

Ref Sheets start at 150$

Example sheet can be found here :3 Additional characters are +50% of the base price, all commissions come with a simple or transparent background, it is +50% of the base price for a complex bg. Complex characters (armor, scales, detailed/patterned clothes etc.) are subject to a maximum +20% complexity fee of the base price. By contacting me for a commission, you agree to my TOS.

And just to address the inevitable: Your prices are so high!!

I didn’t spend 6 years and 60,000$ on art school to hear that my cheaply priced skilled labor is too expensive. Any freelance artist with my level of experience charges a day rate of at least 250$ multiplied by as many days as it takes them to complete the art. Please do us both a favor and instead of complaining an artist’s prices are high, maybe appreciate their work in other ways, leave them a tip or reblog their work. It goes much farther AND we will appreciate it very much!!

How come it takes you so long to reply?/ Why are you so sporadically active?

As an adult, currently employed, I tend to have rather busy days during the week. It really depends on how much a toll work takes whether I have the energy to respond to things qwq And like... I don’t like to bring it up much, but unfortunately I have contracted a cocktail of mental illness that effects my ability to interact with others. I promise I respond as soon as I am mentally able, and I am always appreciate the patience that everyone extends me on account of this ;;;;w;;;; Also I’m in the mysterious and feared ‘Arizona’ Time zone (we don’t do daylight savings time so we just end up bouncing back and forth between Pacific and Mountain time lmao) so depending on the time of year that can probably effect when you see me online |DD

I unfortunately can’t reply to everyone in my notes due to the sheer volume of them, BUT do know I absolutely read all tags and comments and they mean so fucking much to me ;;;;w;;;; Thank you for your kind words and above all Thank you for your understanding!! ❤ ❤

Do you take requests?

In a word; kinda |D I tried to have an Open/Closed system but people would send them regardless. I don’t mind! I like reading what people come up with but unfortunately I can’t draw them all, and I appreciate those so far who seem to understand this and don’t spam me with tons of requests ^w^)/ Thanks you guys!! This fandom is one of the most appreciative and courteous ones I’ve had the pleasure of being a part of! ;w;  ❤ 

[midas-or-khaos]

Spirit, Chapter 3

“...Say what?” She must be joking, Bill was not becoming some glorified pet, no matter how nice Buttercup was. Ekashi’s parents looked to be on the same wavelength, the tattooed shape around his mother’s mouth that resembled a permeant smile managing to match her disappointment. The kids with sour pouts just looked like they ‘wanted one’. Fucking great. Catch 22. Upset the whole family, what a surprise. At least Grandma intervened.

“Daughter, don’t worry yourself, your son will be fine. All of you carry on, enjoy your food, relax, we will deal with this. Aiya, stop pouting, a spirit is not a dog, you can’t ‘have him’.”

Bill appreciated the lack of focus on himself as all went back to what they were doing, if slightly slowly. The gaze of the eager teens still weighing in every now and then, Aiya especially.

“Ekashiba, take a look at the back of your hands. You should have the symbol of the earth.”

Taking a look at the hand holding him, more black strips peaking out from the curved round the blind spot he hadn’t noticed in his observations when looking up. This pensioner wasn’t lying huh? How’d she know all this?

Looking up, poor ol Butters was on the same wavelength as him. Lost.

“Grandma, how do you know all this? I mean, I know you were a priestess in the past at that huge shrine in the mainland, but last I heard, that was when you still practiced shamanism.”

“I know all this because it’s happened to me before when I was young. It’s a rare occurance, but sometimes the Kamuy see the plights of humanity and decides to intervene themselves. It’s why I converted in the first place.”

Non of that made any real sense.New religion, new name, nothing he knew anything about. All except the word Kamuy.

“Oi, wait a minute, what are you talking about? Are we in Japan?”

Both adults looked down.

“What’s kyapan?”

How could they not know the country they lived in? Were names not translating over properly, like when Ekashi couldn’t say buttercup? Or were these some extremely isolated people like the Mormons or something? But even the Mormons knew about modern technology, these people knew nothing. They weren’t a tribe in the middle of Amazon, they were in JAPAN! The most technologically advanced countries in the world!

The patronising slowness couldn’t quite keep out, “Japan as in, the country we’re in, y’now? Tokyo, Nara, Hiroshima? Any of this sound familiar?”

A lacking level of understanding was shared between the equally furrowed brows. Grandma wasn’t impressed though, giving a supreme side eye that could best his own mum’s, that spoke ‘more shit is coming out your mouth than your arse and that isn’t a good thing’. To top it off, she also spoke with the same hint of sass. Oops.

“Is that what you call this land? Then no, we aren’t in ‘Kyapan’, as you say. We’re in Shikotsu.”

Shikotsu? Where the hell was that?! That didn’t sound like any country he knew, was he even on earth!

Grandma was paused for thought, spite trailing out and softening the creases of her wrinkles in favour of curiosity. At the very least he didn’t have to worry about her holding grudges, a small blessing,

“I’m curious. If you don’t speak our language, where are you from?”

“England, Manchester. I just moved down south to learn how to illustrate books.”

Another pause.

“Child, where do you think Shikotsu is?”

She couldn’t possibly be hinting at... could she be right?

“On the continent of Asia? Maybe North America at a real stretch” Ekashi let loose a small gasp. No way.

“Spirit, this is... I think you may have come from another world.”

Breath stopping coming in, the bitterness of carbon dioxide building in his lungs and biting at his throat couldn’t bring his mind to focus. It all felt so clear now, the veil lifted. Somewhere in this haze of madness, his mind had unwittingly tricked him into believing all this was a fever dream he could escape from. That there was an exit. The signs were right there all along but he’d refused to understand. This wasn’t as simple as being in a foreign country. This was another world.

Why... no-

What is this absolute Bullshit?

“ROOSTER!”

“CHRIST!” He couldn't hear.

“Breath, Rooster.”

Rumbled Ekashiba, calloused, warm thumbs rubbed at shaking shoulders. Breathe. He could breathe. All this anxiety was getting on his nerves, he was never like this before, and being needy was the bane of his life.

“I’m sorry, I overreacted. All I seem to be is a panicky, freezing deadweight.” Both hands came round in a living blanket, leathery skin sinking to fit his form in this odd ‘hug’. It should’ve been repulsive, physical touch often being the biggest cause of overstimulation for himself when so riled up, and yet he couldn’t help but relax again like before. This must’ve been a ‘spirit’ thing. It was so wrong, but so right, a nasty juxtaposition messing with his head.

Thankfully Grandma spoke up, “It is to be expected, you have gone beyond what you ever knew possible.”

Plucked up, Bill found himself flopped down on familiarly patterned wool. The hands retreated, and came back with a ladle of some kind of stew. The scent of unfamiliar ingredients sent his mind buzzing with a hunger he’d all but forgotten, helping to sweep aside all negativity. Too much adrenaline in such a short space of time, along with sickness and sleep left the boy all too busy to think of food.

“We can talk later, child. For now, you must eat.”

That was all she had to say.

Eating was a mostly silent affair on his end, with recognisable comments passing over rarely as the family talked about whatever. It was nice to at last be out of sight and able to just be himself In his mind alone. All that staring had been down right creepy and near predatory from some of the youngest. Ekashi wasn’t letting him go just yet, placing the worn out youth in his lap as he too ate and talked overhead. It was like eating on a parachute sized hammock, and honestly the whole fiasco of it was an Olympic sport. So it was no wonder as he finished the last piece of whatever root vegetable that was, that he just collapsed on the stretched fabric and drifted along consciousness.

A prod at his side. Ughhhhhhhh.

“No no, it’s too early to sleep. You slept till noon when you were ill and now you’re better. You must stay awake until the sun comes down or you will not sleep tonight.”

Buttercup, why must you do this? The boy was sure this giant was nice a moment ago.

“Hurry up, sun.” Came the belligerent reply.

A chuckle for his troubles.

“The sun will set when it’s ready. Till then there is more to do. Firstly, getting you some proper clothing while I go tend to the dogs.”

That was about as much fun as doing a french speaking exam with an actual french person. Buttercup’s mum had reluctantly taken to measuring the child, whilst his dad acted as a helping hand, sourcing fabrics from around their expansive fire pit (must've been a general utility room then). Admittedly it started out awkward, but the whole encounter wasn’t wasted being silent, oh no. Grandma and Akiko(who’s name he kept forgetting ) took It upon themselves to take this chance to start teaching some basic words, clothing items finally getting names. Turns out he knew jack shit about textiles (though from his D grade in year 7, it was hardly surprising). The Attush, which was the main robe everyone wore, wasn’t made of wool. It was made of nettles, and lined with deer or bear fur for warmth. Then the sleeveless jacket was called a Jin...baooooriii? Sounded right. Anyway, that was made of cotton. That piece of clothing, and the jewellery wasn’t worn often. Turned out as Bill was told to T-pose and be a mannequin, The story of his discovery from their perspective came up Akiko was happy to tell the story to help get her mind off the fact that she was dealing with him (or that’s what it certainly felt like, though it wasn’t a lie that he wasn’t enjoying being touched by unfamiliar tree trunk fingers, so fairs fair) and let Grandma translate. Turned out that they’d just come back from a festival for the god mentioned earlier when they heard him shouting.

After all this, the least he could do was try and make a good impression to the mum so she’d lessen her upturned lips and the two could finally be manageable around each other.

“Is there anything I can do to help? I feel kind of useless here while everyone is helping out-”

A waving, bony hand silenced him.

“You will help in time, don’t worry. But for this there’s no tools your size, so we will do it. Just carry on learning our language for a start.”

Damn it, there had to be something he could do other than stand there like some wallflower. Couldn’t help, couldn’t sleep, and damn it he hated languages with a fierce passion. It’s hard enough remembering English words half the time, let alone getting them muddled up with something new. Plus it never made sense, any of it. The rules to language are constantly broken, and then the need for female and male pronouns on furniture and other inmate objects? He was a fish and language was a bird flying right the fuck over his head... he never was one for good metaphors.

“Alright, I’ll give it a go.”

“Perfect.”

It was 3 more hours before anything could be put away, and if boy didn’t have arms like Beyonce then this was all for nothing, ‘cause the fatigued ache had made it that he couldn’t even raise a hand. On a brighter note, a small understanding on pronouns was squeezed out.

“Alright, we’re done. Go take your clothes and find Ekashiba.”

“Why am I gonna find Ekashiba?”

“To help show you how to put all of clothes on.”

Oh come on, he’s 19, he knows how to get dressed! It’s a robe, not Fort Knox. Fuck sake.

“...where is he?”

“Just through that passage on your right. Try and stay by the walls, less chance of getting stood on.”

“See you soon.”

Following the walls was nothing new. Any time spent in middle school with 12 year olds who had a cross between Sisyphus’ boulder and a boxer’s right hook for a backpack would teach you how to stick close to solid safety. Bill had spent 5 years in that shithole. Took awhile, wasn’t any need to rush, just follow the sound of dog chuffs and wagging tails thumping the floor. Maybe he could find a nook to get changed in?

A familiar droopy firebrick-red face popped his face round the corner of the wide corridor. Doge was back! Yeah, maybe he could get the dog to hide him.

“Hey boy, come heeeeerrrrreeeeee.”

Trotting over, the lion maned good boy bent down and licked happily at the familiar sight of Bill, and all that licking, whilst gross, was ticklish and friendly.

“Geh! Sssstttooooppppppp ehehehhehe. You’re too much!”

“Well, looks like Poro has taken a liking to you. She must see you as one of her pups.” Buttercup stood at the exit, looking down and smirking impishly while letting Bill get loved on, making no move to stop it.

Doge was a she. Of course he got that wrong; hard to tell who’s what when their body has enough hair to make a rug.

“Oh. well, all the same stop Girl.”

“Poro, come here.”

At last, sweet freedom! Sweet, messy freedom

“Thanks for the impromptu bath Poro.”

Gruff

“I’ll give you a bowl of water to wash.” Ha! Sympathy is a bitch.

Despite the cheekiness, Ekashi seems to mean well. He realises more than the others that Bill is more an adult than the family give credit for and leaves the boy to do as he wishes while he grooms the dogs. Given the opportunity, the lukewarm bath sesh dragged out, head resting on the rim of the bowl and a review of the day reeling behind the doors to his mind. He’s tiny, check, he’s never gonna be Bear Grills, check and he’s now in one way or another attached to a giant from another world. Check...shit. Obviously it must’ve been the gods if grandma had seen all this before. Why though? What did a uni student from Manchester have in terms of use? He was tiny, had no skills for survival, fighting or cooking, he didn’t know anything about this world; what use was a painting degree and two A levels in mythology and acting?

It’s an hour later of mulling that the boy actually brings it up.

“Ekashi, what is the festival you went to about?”

The man paused in his workings, but didn’t turn round.

“The festival is meant to celebrate the beginning of the world. When from chaos, the elements of the world came about: earth, water, fire and air. Together they came, and the world was born from their clashing and fighting, which broke them apart into infinite pieces, which became the all that exists in the world. The rivers, the grass, all of it.”

“Your Grandma mentioned the Kamuy sent me.”

Ekashi froze, back tensed. Bill fell silent, feeling he’d hit something he shouldn’t.

“...During the festival, there is a chance for prayer. We give offerings and can ask for assistance of give thanks.”

This was beginning to feel a lot like not his business.

“...what did you ask.”

“I asked for guidance.”

He was dodging the answer. Bill was always so bad at reading people, but this didn’t need facial expressions or tones of voice. This felt... apart of him.

“...And?”

“...And a chance for something new.”

[sanguinarius-archive]

Hey! Could I get to know some of your headcanons about dickfigures/your designs for them? :D

ya ya sure!!!!

i already have my designs for them up if you havent seen, here they are!

as for headcanons idk how long this post will be so ill just add a read more for anyone who might not wanna scroll thru it all lol

red!!!!!

his real name is rowan bc i thought it was cute, also it means “little red one” which is eVEN BETTER

he’s nonbinary masc and bisexual! the self projection is REAL

he has adhd

most of my headcanons kinda flow into my own version of dick figures because i’m not very Satisfied with canon NJSJDNSKM so like. for example red doesn’t just kill people or whatever. he gets into fights and has scars and wears bandaids a lot bc of them

he graduated college with blue, he got a bachelor’s degree in fine arts (honestly idk how college works bc im a grade 10 baby so if thats like totally wrong just let me know also im. canadian so idk how american school system works LOL)

red got suspended a lot in high school but never expelled. mostly bc he got in fights that were mainly him protecting stacey from shitty people (he sees her as his sister so he was rlly protective) and the school wasnt really sure what else to do so they just. you know. suspended him a bunch of times hoping itd do something but it didnt

he hates his dad! reason being is bc when he was born, his dad was actually an alien able to disguise himself as human, so he wanted to take red back to his home planet cuz red turned out to be more powerful than anything his dad had ever seen. but red’s mom was like Nope, so she snuck out with him and his plush cat (kitty amazing) and they were never found. red is very close with his mom and is scared of his dad coming back someday

we know he canonically likes rlly loud music so im just gonna project here and say he’s a metalhead. at least, some form of it. he likes the alt scene music and industrial rock. examples being deftones, nine inch nails, skinny puppy, rage against the machine, kittie and others. it keeps him focused and calm

bLUE!!!

we know blue was bullied as a kid but i dont wanna say red also bullied him bc i feel like thats just wrong to me? MAYBE ITS NOT ACTUALLY but it just makes me sad so like. lets say red, being as protective as he is, stood up for blue a lot cuz he was like “oh this kid cant fight” so he knew what to do

blue dated pink for awhile but they mutually agreed to break up after blue realized this wasnt what he wanted (he came to the conclusion that he was gay, well, he knew for awhile but it was Internalized Homophobia)

he grew up in a very conservative family so to see the world completely differently by meeting red, ems (lt), pink and stacey was a very good thing for him. unfortunately even tho his family did love him, it was conditional so they stopped talking to him after he came out. thankfully he’d already graduated high school by that point

despite being emotional blue isn’t very good at understanding how he’s an emotional person. he’s able to distinct one feeling from another and analyze them, but it’s just... hard for him to kind of. process WHY he feels a certain way? which is what’s led to a lot of his struggles in getting closer with ppl

he loooves reading and writing we already know this but i mean come on. he also got a bachelor’s degree in english/ela. so he’s able to become a teacher ig but he doesn’t really want to? at least not for awhile yet

blue was ems’ first friend. at first he couldn’t understand why they had tics but decided he shouldn’t get into someone else’s business. he didn’t find it weird, just cool!

he and red would always pair up for projects if they had classes together!!!!!! blue would do the writing/research and red would do the illustrations. they always turned out really good even if it ended with red cramming it at the last minute

surprisingly hates broseph more than red. well i mean its not surprising, because broseph was always a huge DICK to him

blue’s real name is wyatt!!!!! i forget the meaning but i felt the sound of it and the meaning fit him well

piiiiink!!!!!!!!!!

she’s still in college, getting her doctorate to be an astrophysicist!

pink is very very smart and will help anyone who’s struggling with something in school. she was basically the genius who always got in the honor roll every year. but, she actually was really anxious especially with exams

pink encourages stacey to go back to school, and sometimes stacey does, but she always ends up leaving again. it’s a little stressful but pink has hope for her

she’s never drank one sip of alcohol in her entire life. she smoked weed once, but it felt weird so she didn’t do it again

ever since she and blue broke up she’s been very supportive of him bc she herself is bisexual!!! so she sees nothing weird about it. in fact, about almost a year later she started dating stacey

pink’s real name is lily. when she became friends with blue she met red through him and she was like “can i join your nickname thing” and they said “sure” so they called her pink. stacey sometimes calls her pinky or just pink but mostly lily

pink helped red with academics. even tho he was sometimes insufferable to work with (/j thats a Joke i promise she’s a very patient person) she didn’t give up on him!!!! in return he helped her out with some fitness stuff cuz pink was always insecure about gym, and later when she graduated she actually got into exercising bc of red!

she loves travelling and going for walks. she owns a lot of houseplants and she’s given them all names and takes very good care of them! she also owns an albino ball python named Velvet

STACEYYY!!!!!!!

stacey is nOT actually all about sex this time ok. i don’t like that. i mean she did have some personality in canon but it wasn’t much? anyways she just really likes to express herself thru tight/”risque” clothing like fishnets and leather and pleated skirts and thigh-highs and platform boots, all of that. basically she’s a goth girl but doesn’t really “act” like one

she’s really intelligent when it comes to animals and insects and will tell you anything you need to know. when she goes back to college she gets a degree in environmental science

stacey can play the electric and bass guitars!!!! she was in a band back in high school but it never really went anywhere beyond performances at parties in someone’s garage. not that she didn’t like it, looking back on it makes her feel happy, but she wished it continued. probably why she has a hard time going back to college bc she’s not sure what she really wants

stacey is a trans woman btw!!!!! unfortunately it was a little difficult in high school to be who she was bc some kids were jerks, but there were a lot of others who supported her which is good

she views red as her brother as well and they still hang out a lot

i haven’t really had time to focus on stacey and make headcanons and stuff for her so i don’t have a lot but... let’s say, secretly, she’s a scifi nerd. and for the sake of debate, let’s say she’s a marvel fan. if you count being a fan of deadpool as being a fan of marvel

LOVES GIRLS.... loves pink!!!

has very similar music taste to red’s!!!!!

emssss!!!!!!! (lt)

instead of being a stereotype of ppl with tourette’s syndrome, it’s just a normal thing that isn’t focused on a whole lot. it doesn’t make ems swear but if they get really really frustrated they’ll curse while doing one of their tics

ems is agender, i’d say they’re also ageless but i don’t really want to make them too “nonhuman” because i feel like that’s dehumanizing to people with tourette’s. so let’s just say most laws of existence don’t apply to them

they’re very friendly!

they’re an aspiring musician, just like in canon

ems is also big into horror movies believe it or not. they’re pretty critical of them though like most horror movie fans, and only like specific ones (i’m not a horror movie fan myself so i can’t say what Specific Ones they like ajsdhbjn just imagine they have good taste okay)

they r very artsy too and like doing crafts cause it gives them something to focus on. it’s just a hobby though it’s not something they’re Professional at

they love nature and flowers and trees and all kinds of plants and animals!!! they like to document what they see when they travel thru nature and stuff so they bring a camera with them (and their phone, but, you know whatever)

ems was never really affected by things people said to them regarding their syndrome. to them it was something they were born with, so they couldn’t bother to feel bad about themselves. in certain situations theyre able to control it but 90% of the time they don’t care about what ppl think

aaaand there u go!!! as for minor characters like raccoon, jason/trollz0r, broseph, dingleberry, they all exist (raccoon isnt a racist stereotype tho), i just dont focus on them a whole lot. most of my hcs for stacey and ems here were thought up on the spot since i havent had time to lay out all my ideas for them but i hope what i have here is good !!!!

also, red and blue ARE dating, and pink and stacey ARE ALSO dating. gay rights

[daturanerium]

i just finished season one of the magnus archives (here’s my livetweet thread) so here’s my discordant thoughts on the characters

jon

annoyingly stubborn

dramatic!!!!

was definitely That One Emo Theatre Kid in whatever britain's version of high school is

wants to know. everything.

fatal flaw: pursuit of knowledge. he can’t let a mystery go unsolved

please get some sleep baby you can solve the mystery in the morning

he’s so serious and awkward i adore him and i hope he remembers to take care of himself

martin

baby boy.....baby

consistently underestimated and underappreciated. give him a raise please elias he’s gone through hell

so full of love, even for people who don’t seem to love him back

i want to hug him

so intelligent, so thoughtful! always coming up with answers that no one else can think of

fatal flaw: self/preservation or fear. altho in his line of work i’m giving him a break

he’s got some big things ahead of him, i can tell. i hope that he gets some bomb ass magical powers or something because he really deserves it

sasha

ive known sasha for a week and a half but if anything happened to her i would kill everyone in this room and then myself

speaking of........what the hell happened during the finale i’m Worried

she’s so caring and protective. i feel like she’s the “hold my flower” member of the archive (jon or tim is the “kick his ass baby i got your flower”)

fatal flaw: curiosity. at least she’s aware of it?

i literally love her

looks like a cinnamon roll, is a cinnamon roll (but will also kill you)

so strong. so smart. 

im love her and i hope she’s okay

elias

okay shifty capitalist motherfucker i see you

i don’t actually think he’s gulity of anything tbh, just a victim of circumstance trying to do his job and keep it

fatal flaw: submissive towards authority. spill the secrets buddy we gotta know

“but the funding”

i think his heart’s in the right place. i just hope he realizes there are bigger things than rich people and even the archive.

tim

pure of heart, dumb of ass

frat bro!!!!!

super friendly

EDIT: i made a joke about tim having cishet energy but i’ve since been informed that he’s canon bi which is awesome! 

just doing his job, man

hey jon the boys and i are gonna go crack open a cold one later, wanna join? you’ve been stuck recording in that office for hours mate you need to get out and do something

he really genuinely cares about his friends and he’s so sweet

fatal flaw: inability to read the room. bro i love u no romo but u gotta learn to Read The Signs

such a dork

definitely going to get possessed at some point

jane prentiss

it is every sapphic’s duty to fall in love with an eldrich horror and jane is mine

her monologue/statement was so good that i’m doing it for speech this year. thank you irl jonathan sims for being a fantastic writer

so spooky......so curious........so dark.........so endearing

please tell me about the song and the nest and the itch. i’m so genuinely interested in her story and i hope we hear more from/about her because i still have Questions

every time i picture her it’s in the style of the scary stories to tell in the dark illustrations

ugh god such a good antagonist.....this is so good

mary and gerard key

during the first description of mary i was so impressed with her lifestyle and general presentation.....she was really living her best life. until it was revealed that she was not actually alive. but still

gerard you little shit, planting all these things for the archivists to find. who are you

side note but i thought his name was “jared”. i’m trying to not picture another famous gerard but i’m seventeen. what can you do.

they’re definitely working for some outside force, or maybe they Are the outside force? either way i’m intrigued

(predictions for season two and beyond under the cut)

general predictions for season two and beyond:

i’ve managed to avoid spoilers a lot better than i usually do, but i think there may be something to do with avatars for gods or something? anyway jon’s god is knowledge-based and sasha’s is strength-based. elias may be conman/trickery-based? martin is his own seperate being entity thing, i can’t see him fitting into any typical categories yet. 

oh actually it would be really cool if martin was tied in with the god of death? it kind of fits him, idk how tho. he’s just so sweet and kind and that matches the casual comforting neutrality of death.

actually maybe not because we’ve already met death and it’s just a bunch of reapers that were dumbasses in life, oh well (i’m still gonna keep it in on the off chance something happens with it)

jon takes a nap (unlikely, but i can dream) 

that shipping company that keeps popping up definitely delivered that lighter to jon. don’t know what the lighter means but i’m excited to figure it out

jonmartin endgame

sasha is either possessed or has been completely erased by a copy. my guess is that she’s stuck in a time loop that was created when she touched the hypnotizing table, although how that happened is just about anyone’s guess.

gertrude was killed by gerard key, who, in his Infinite Knowledge of Plot and How The World Works, knew that jon needed to be the head archivist for things to work out the way he and his mother want it to. the keys are beyond time.

martin lives in the archive because he actually kind of likes it there??? even tho he had a traumatic event with worms and jane and finding the dead body of his old boss in the basement

i’m really interested to know what jon was up to before he worked as the head archivist. i feel like that’s kind of important and relevant? if it’s not now it will be in the future

elias has to pick a side: jon and the truth or the “funds” and the government. i hope he makes the right one, but plot and conflict is also important and i can totally see him becoming the Imposing But Apologetic Lawful Antagonist

idk what the gods thing is (if it even is something?) but i’m pretty sure one of them has to do with eyes/watching, and my guess is that it’s the one having to do with knowledge. and while i’m here i’m also going to go out on a crazy limb and say that gerard and mary work for it, whatever the watching thing is. that’s how they know where to be at the right time.

there’s another group of people that work on things like the archive does--they’re just a little more....casual. idk if you all are/were supernatural fans but i’m thinking that the magus archive is the men of letters to this other faction being hunters. they split off after elias’s rules became too stifling, and they sometimes get there before the archive knows about the situation (like in ep 36, taken ill, or episode 8, burned out. altho ep 8 was with gerard, so maybe he works with them sometimes? idk)

sasha gets better but a sacrifice has to be made to save her. martin, to everyone’s surprise, offers. 

i’m so excited to listen to season two oh my god this show is fantastic

[viktcrr-alt]

MAXENCE DANET FAUVAL / NONBINARY — don’t look now, but is that viktor samuels i see? the 24 year old visual arts student is in their senior year and he/they are a rochester alum. i hear they can be observant, ingenious, reticent and dependent, so maybe keep that in mind. i bet he/they will make a name for themselves living in garcia row. ( james. 20. est. she/they. )

LAST INTRO WOOOO !! u know what to mf DO !!

TW DEATH, HEAVY GRIEF, OVERDOSE / DRUG ADDICTION, HOSPITALIZATION, HYPERSEXUALITY, RELIGION MENTIONS, MENTAL ILLNESS

a e s t h e t i c s

old tvs and their static, worn tapes, horror movie screams, spilled ink, a sculptor’s hands, clay-stained, chicken scratch handwriting, messy notes, messy hair, scoffs and eye-rolls, bruised knuckles, sore throats, funeral homes and a crying preacher, shattered ceramics, knife fights, high ledges, vertically-striped pants, red lights, the moon shrouded in clouds, cigarette butts.

general info !!

full name: viktor phillip samuels

nickname(s): icky vicky :/

b.o.d. - jan 2nd

label(s): the black hole, the crepehanger, the impious, the opaque, the tempest, etc.

height: 6′0″

hometown: rochester, new york

sexuality: uuuhhh god … probably pan tbh

pinterest

stats

biography !!

okay so … born and raised in rochester, new york to the well known samuels family. preacher father, a mother, a twin sister born 15 minutes before him - aka tatiana samuels, who died back in january.

kinda … grew up as a really awkward, quiet kid? like … just didn’t really interact with other kids super well, preferred being alone and like … digging up bugs in the dirt. only friend was like … his own sister.

grew out of this as they got older, instead sort of … becoming a bit of a dick? to compensate for years of awkwardness? will bite the hand that feeds him. was a full on nuisance by middle school. tatiana was not, at least, noticeably.

has always been a fan of darker materials, y’know - grim and creepy, morbid shit. big fan of tim burton ever since he was a kid, which isn’t … a good look for a preacher’s son, but he’s never really felt ~in~ with the rest of his family, anyway.

drew disturbing pictures as a kid probably tbh that prompted one or two or five phone calls home 2 assure everything was fine.

has always been really … good at art, in general - from drawing to painting to playing with clay, that’s always been viktor’s Thing.

aNyWaYs. being tatiana’s twin brother was kinda hard sometimes. tatiana and him were near opposites besides their same mean-spirited trait. she was better in the public than he was, but viktor was arguably more talented than tatiana. they both loved each other deeply and found each other as competition for their parents’ attention - a rivalry, of sorts.

high school is when viktor really started to act out - started extreme, like losing his virginity in their church and vandalism around the neighborhoods. faked being possessed in the middle of sunday service. almost had an exorcism performed on him, probably.

the only redeemable trait was like … his sheer talent with art. was in a 3d art AP course, specialized in sculpting - could pretty much create anything he wanted with enough dedication.

because his parents would be focused on disciplining him for his antics, tatiana could sneak away and get away with stuff easier. so like, y’know, that’s on the bright-side of things.

never been particularly motivated to do much - wasn’t planning on attending lockwood but his parents kinda … did and sent in his application for him b/c they were Not on board with him Wasting Away (wanted him out of the house asap)

actually pretty smart !! just doesn’t like … want to apply himself ever. double majoring in english and visual arts because they’re like … two of his only interests :/ plus he wants to write and illustrate his own series of children books with a style similar to tim burton’s

he’d been experimenting since high school but college is where he really started to like … crack down on himself and figure himself out. was out as pan & nonbinary by his sophomore year of college, just … not to his family, necessarily. thinks tatiana always knew, but didn’t … really use it against him, blessedly enough

always felt like the whole twin - connection thing was … both wack and also not-wack? sometimes it felt believable but sometimes he had no idea what was going on in tatiana’s head. but he felt oddly transparent to her, always - like he was predictable to no one but her.

( TW DEATH, GRIEF, OVERDOSE / HOSPITALIZATION BEYOND THIS POINT )

but when tatiana disappeared - it was like, like viktor knew. the moment she had been kidnapped - felt something deeply wrong in his gut. and when tatiana died - viktor felt something cut so severely in him. he knew, he always knew exactly when. he couldn’t put his finger on how - but he knew. even when everybody else held out hope for her to be found - he knew.

went on a bender around the same time, had always struggled w/ drug addiction but it got worse the longer tatiana went without being found.

( also struggled heavily with his mental health, too ?? has manic and depressive episodes. will fixate on a sculpting project for six months and then purposely knock it off the table and destroy it in the matter of seconds once it’s finished for. no fucking reason. impulse spends A Lot. )

when her body was found, viktor went off the rails. ended up overdosing and being hospitalized where he spent the next like … however long months … until they deemed him better.

has been back since the beginning of fall semester in an attempt to finish his senior year - mostly out of his parents’ insistence that he did, because he very much did not want to. 

is still dealing with a lot of trauma & grief, which was only amplified with dean lockwood’s death - causing him to spiral and be unpredictable with his mental health. some days are good, and some days are very bad.

personality !!

the human embodiment of a gremlin, fed after midnight. a goblin, if u will. one of those cats with a narrow head and big ass ears. that’s him.

b i g horror & halloween enthusiast. loves the old campy horror movies. probably has an abundance of masks from different movies. dresses like a grimy millennial beetlejuice more than he should. love those vertically striped pants!

fashion alternates between e-boy (would b tik tok famous if he were like … 17), millennial beetlejuice, and like … goth in a crop top and sweatpants. big fan of crop tops. big fan of sweatpants.

he can be fucking mean. petty, aggressive, instigator. will literally spit in ur face or no reason. kind of person who’ll stick his gum into other ppl’s hair. other than that he’s like … pretty okay. he’s not always mean, he’s just a dick like … 70% of the time lmao

i mean yeah okay he’ll call someone a stinky bitch for no reason except He Feels Like It And Believes It. it’s fine he’s fine, we’re fine.

despite the fact tht he’s probably getting into fights whenever - considers himself 2 be a lover n not a fighter but that’s just because he Fucks a lot. kind of uses it like a coping mechanism, like he’s this big fancy carnival show that’s like ‘come one, come all! fuck the dead girl’s twin brother!’ may have a problem w/ hypersexuality but it’s nothing he’s fully. aware of.

the preacher’s whore son, basically

like i said he’s pan & nb, switches between he and they pronouns but like … he has such a fragile grip on his identity that u could call him ‘dog-faced bitch’ and he’d turn like hey wassup :)

vastly impulsive, like i’ve mentioned … destroys his own creations 4 the fun of it, spends all his money on useless shit, will cheat on someone bc he feels like it. screams into the night sky frequently, like a cat in heat.

i mean he also creates useless shit for no reason too. spent six months sculpting a hollowed out tree the size of him and then took a sledgehammer to it.

dramatic fuck. used to play the organ at the church like … when no one was looking after him and service was about to start. just these creepy as melodies. would do the same thing at home on his keyboard w/ the organ setting whenever he got grounded until his parents took away his keyboard sadjfkg

won’t talk about his time away b/c it’s not rly anybody’s business but ofc nothing is sacred to the watershed app, y’know, nothing’s private.

still like - he absolutely refuses to talk about tatiana’s death and like, his mental health or his addiction (he’s fallen back into it tbh but it hasn’t gotten bad again … yet) or like … anything involving his own emotions

will literally just change the topic! abruptly, no warning, asks about the jonas brothers instead.

that being said he’s obsessed with tatiana’s death. tatiana was very much a rock for him, kinda dependent on her in a way? just … being there, y’know, kept him grounded.

so he obv became a shepherd bc he wants to know Everything there is abt the app, wants to be deep inside it, wanted to know Who Exactly Killed Tatiana and like … not saying he wants 2 commit murder but :/ yknow. he’s very upset.

emotionally unavailable while also like crying twice a day.

will tell you straight up what he wants from you, no bullshit, no beating around the bush - just blunt. if he wants to just fuck, nothing else, then that’s that. if he feels deviation he’ll ghost in like. less than a second. kinda awful like that! feels no shame.

but like … also is emotional ?? as shit ?? it’s confusing. he’ll cry on a whim and then flip u off if u try to console him or like. ask him anything. will bite you.

he goes to therapy but he generally fucks around and wastes most of the time until the therapist threatens to like … idk what therapists r allowed to threaten. to send him off to another therapist? idk.

likes being intimidating but like … not with his body or nothing ‘cos he’s a TWIG, but like … uses his love for horror n creepy shit to his advantage. has an abundance of fake blood. has channeled the energy of jack nicholson and used it on tatiana’s boyfriends before.

( also a big fan of sfx makeup, has dabbled in it)

probably chases kids with a chainsaw (w/o the like … chain … or w/e … so it’s not actually Dangerous) around halloween

he’s generally never doing good, both mental health wise and morally.

would probably steal candy from a baby for the fun of it.

i don’t know if there’s a good to him, deep down, and i don’t know if he sees any issues with himself either !! nothing really breaks through to him anymore, the only person who ever really made him stop and Think about his actions was tatiana.

kinda introverted, recluse type who doesn’t rly like most people or going out, but he’ll go to parties if it means he’ll be high as shit.

pretty observant. likes to analyze people even though he’s probably not … fully right.

wanted connections !!

he lives alone currently but like … ex - roommates where viktor was just. a nightmare to live with.

feel like a lot of enemies is also a possibility !! viktor’s messy.

people that like … knew tatiana. dated tatiana, even, and viktor would pretty much try to intimidate / scare them at any given chance :/

close friends of tatiana too

people who hated tatiana but liked viktor. people who hated viktor but liked tatiana

people who take pity on him and he Hates it viciously and vocally.

a band of hooligan gremlin kids who do drugs and fuck shit up around town like they’re edgy teenagers even though they’re all early to mid 20s.

the girl he lost his virginity 2 in high school lmao … a distant memory

fellow rochester locals, from church or school or whatever

exes from the past !! good terms and bad terms, but i love bad terms a whole lot mainly b/c viktor’s a jackass.

don’t know if he’s soft towards anybody but we can try. we can Try.

friends, old friends, new friends, bad friends, good friends, close friends, frenemies, etc. etc. all of it

hookups !! so many hookups. fwbs, one night stands, whatever.

uuhhhh god. i don’t know. im so sleepy rn. people in the same major or similar majors.

maybe a ride or die.

people he’s a bad influence on / an enabler towards / all around toxic for them / each other.

people he’s fought !! people who’ve seen him get into random fights and were like ‘uh wtf’

fellow shepherds !!

literally anything im not picky.

[legacixs]

( ISKRA LAWRENCE, CIS FEMALE, SHE/HER ) ⌇ have you seen LORELEI MOORE around icaria? they are the 26 year old child of PERSEPHONE. they remind me of THE FIRST WARM DAY OF SPRING, LAVENDER SWAYING IN THE BREEZE, A YELLOW RAINCOAT ON A RAINY DAY.

+ empathetic, intellectual, gentle, fair-minded, creative, nurturing, realistic, resilient – over-sensitive, self-isolating, nosy, obsessive, domineering, temperamental, indecisive

                                                           pinterest | playlist 

𝐛𝐢𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐲

lorelei never knew her birth father. he was young, from what her adoptive parents told her. in his twenties, not yet ready to be a dad. he never suspected that his brief time with the goddess of spring would leave him with a child to care for.

she only met her birth mother a few times — nothing more than a exchange on a couple of her birthdays, and however pleasant they were, it wasn’t much.

her adoptive parents were her real parents. they were the only consistent family she’s ever known — her mom, nora; her dad, luis; her brother, christopher; her sister, ophelia.

nora and luis weren’t high school sweethearts, or childhood best friends. they both found one another after each having gone through divorces from their first spouses. chris, the eldest, was the ring bearer at their wedding (at 6, he was barely old enough not to stick the ring in his mouth or nose.)

they tried to get pregnant for many years, but were unsuccessful. they went to fertility clinics, tried every trick everyone ever tells you, and had no child to show for it.

with nothing but love and hope in their hearts, they began the adoption process. that’s when they met lorelei, a five year old girl with a kind soul and bad luck with foster homes.

she spent the first four years of her life with the kline family, who were unable to continue caring for her when mrs. kline fell ill. and then she moved in with the farley family — they weren’t mean, but they yelled a lot, and their son who was older than her got a lot of joy out of making her cry.

thankfully, both luis and nora fell in love with her and young lorelei found herself in what would eventually feel like home.

it was strange at first, and she often wondered if she’d have to leave there too. especially when nora became pregnant mere months later.

“it always happens when you stop trying!”

“two kids in less than a year; you must be busy.”

“guess you didn’t have to adopt after all!” people said.

lorelei spent what felt like the eternity of nora’s pregnancy hoping that she wouldn’t have to leave. but when little ophelia was born, and nora and luis invited lorelei to “come say hi to your little sister”, she knew she was here to stay.

lorelei’s childhood was normal after that. the moore family lived in a backwoods town in pennsylvania — surrounded by trees, farms, and more plants than lorelei could ever dream. it was here that her powers started to manifest; suitably a surprise for all involved. fields would bloom in her wake; and likewise, crops would wither behind her. she either had the best green thumb, or killed every plant she touched (like many others, her powers seemed heavily influenced by mood.)

it was an adjustment, to say the least. it was thanks to the help of persephone when she visited on lorelei’s ninth birthday. with her guidance, they all grew used to little lorelei’s abilities.

she was a shy child (a fact that surprises people when they meet her now) but sometimes the world was just too much. hyper-sensitive, young demigod lorelei felt things more extremely than others, and so she started picking up isolation techniques.

her favorite was hiding, while still being able to observe. she didn’t want to be completely away from the world, just hidden in the shadows. she’d sit under a weeping willow along a busy town road and watch the world pass by for hours. now she often sits on park benches with noise canceling headphones, watching the world go by without feeling overwhelmed.

she’d enjoy her alone time with a sketch pad or journal; she’d scribble the hours of the day away until her parents or christopher called for her to come back inside.

overall she had a happy childhood, once she settled with her family. she was never popular in school, though that was perhaps a reality of her own making. she often befriended the people others wouldn’t and, when told that she would be “cool if she didn’t hang out with such losers” lorelei quickly stood up for her friends and told those classmates exactly what she thought of them.

never afraid to speak her mind in the face of injustice, her morals were as high as her judgement.

she became something of a self-proclaimed friend to the lonely, despondent, isolated.

many of them proved to be fantastic friends, wrongly misjudged by their peers. unfortunately, a select few proved to be emotionally manipulative and toxic — the most notable of the latter being her ex-boyfriend.

their year of dating left her insecure, shattered, and fearful. she prefers not to discuss it in detail, even now. it was only through the support of her family (even if they remained unaware of what was even going on) and their fresh start in another country that helped her to recover.

helsinki, finland became their home when lorelei was just 17. it was a new beginning, even if she hadn’t recognized it at the time. and the picturesque, european architecture would serve as the backdrop for her later teen, college, and young adult years.

despite her anxieties of starting college somewhere new, with no friends in the area, lorelei thrived. she pursued writing, and came to love her craft. she also tried to minor in illustration, but after two years came to realize that she preferred it as something done on her own time, than as an assignment.

her confidence blossomed, as did her powers. although she still had her moments of weakness, lorelei’s control over her abilities made her quite the local botanist. she’d spend her afternoons between classes tending to helsinki’s parks, plants and trees. springs became more beautiful every year, summers became richer; and during fall and winter, lorelei’s apartment bloomed with all of the plants that wouldn’t survive the cold.

a sweet soul, has that “old soul” vibe

big pisces energy

doesn’t trust love and fears intimacy (physical and not) after her terrible relationship

adopted

her family is her family

but does sometimes wonder what her birth dad is like...

is a lucky demigod to have met her birth mom

loves her siblings very much

christopher is 3 years older than her, ophelia is 5 years younger

ophelia is high energy and reckless

christopher is super serious and responsible

she’s somewhere in the middle

her parents never worried much about her

she kind of had most stuff handled

or she hid it VERY well

none of them knew she went through a toxic relationship

had some body image issues growing up

is trying to learn to love her body

had the biggest collection of stuffed animals as a kid. her mom definitely has more than 1 photo of her sitting in a pile of plushies

soft but strong??

shares persephone’s dichotomy of spring goddess/queen of hell

is actually p good at being emotionally vulnerable

feels things very intensely

wears glasses (even tho iskra doesn’t but let’s just imagine-)

works as a writer!

wants to write a book but pays the bills by writing for an online magazine

more sarcastic than she seems at face value

she has to be comfortable with you to show that side of her

people are surprised she swears

stronger than she looks

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

FAMILY — unknown birth father (would be around 48-52), older brother christopher (29-30) and younger sister ophelia (20-21). either could be demigods, technically. chris is nora’s son, with an unnamed father. and ophelia was thought to be the only full child of nora and luis, but maybe there was some divine intervention with nora’s miracle pregnancy, if you will. 

FRIENDS — lorelei is a wonderful friend, so these are a must! she’s from helsinki, but lived in the north eastern US prior to that. she works as a writer (remotely) and is often finding different places around town to write. she frequents stores, coffee shops, anywhere that lets her sit and focus on her work. i’d love for her to have a core group of friends that she can rely on (she’s got big mom friend energy)

ROMANCE — not impossible, but certainly difficult. lorelei has been closed off to love and intimacy since her teens, after a severely toxic relationship. but she wants to be in love. the idea of it is very appealing, and while she’s attempted to date or try putting herself out there again, when faced with the opportunity she gets scared and backs out. there’d have to be a lot of trust and patience from both parties, but it’s definitely something i’d love for her! all genders welcome

ENEMIES — it’s not entirely difficult to make an enemy of lorelei... though she isn’t antagonistic, she does become intolerable of people who push her buttons. it borders on rude at times, if she feels she’s been pushed far enough. generally they’d have to be rude to someone, talk down to her, treat her like she’s stupid, etc. she’s also capable of changing her opinion of people! so the “enemies to friends” trope is an option

[springawakeningmovieideas]

Act 1, Scene 2

Int. School- Morning

School. The Boys sit upright at their desks, reciting from Virgil's Aeneid. They stand, one after the other, for their recitation. Herr Sonnenstich walks the aisles beside them, listening.

The BOYS sit at desks, MELCHIOR and MORITZ, OTTO and HANSCHEN, ERNST and GEORG. Other students, ANGELIKA and SABINE, KARIN and SUSANNE, MARION and INGRID sit at desks, too. HERR SONNENSTICH is at the teacher’s desk, pointing at the board. The camera zooms in at each of them when they speak.

HERR SONNENSTICH: 

Again.

OTTO (Mid-recitation):

 ... vi superum saevae memorem Iunonis ob iram …

HERR SONNENSTICH ("Well done"): 

Better, Herr Lammermeier. Continue, Herr Zirschnitz.

GEORG:

 ... multa quoque et bello passus, dum conderet urbem.

HERR SONNENSTICH:

 Herr Rilow. From the beginning.

HANSCHEN: 

Arma virumque cano, Troiae qui primus ab oris

HERR SONNENSTICH: 

Herr Robel. And …

ERNST: 

.. Italiam, fato profugus, Laviniaque venit litora

HERR SONNENSTICH:

 Herr Stiefel. 

MORITZ is fast asleep at his desk.

Herr Stiefel.

EVERYONE is looking at him. MORITZ wakes up, slowly.

MORITZ:

 Sir? …

HERR SONNENSTlCH: 

Continue. Please. 

(He hesitates) 

Herr Stiefel …

MORITZ (Haltingly): 

.. Laviniaque venit …

HERR SONNENSTICH: 

Yes ... ?

MORITZ:

 .. litora ... multum enim

HERR SONNENSTICH: 

"Multum enim"?

MORITZ (Taking another stab at it):

.. multum olim

HERR SONNENSTICH (Losing patience):

 "Olim"?! "Multum olim" ... ?! So then, somehow the Pious Aeneas has "already" suffered much "in the days still to come" ... ? 

(No response.) 

Herr Stiefel? 

(No response.) 

Do you have any idea what you're saying, Herr Stiefel? 

MORITZ is too mortified to respond. MELCHIOR rises.

MELCHIOR:

 If you please!

HERR SONNENSTICH:

 Pardon me?

MELCHIOR (Covering gracefully): 

If you please, Herr Sonnenstich ... can't we at least consider "multum olim" as a plausible conjecture for how the text might read?

HERR SONNENSTICH:

 Herr Gabor. We are hardly here today to conjecture about textual conjectures. The boy has made an error.

MELCHIOR: 

Yes. But an understandable error, sir. Indeed, if we could only entertain the fitness of the conjecture-

HERR SONNENSTICH: 

"Multum olim"?!

MELCHIOR: 

Look to the fresh rhetorical balance-"multum olim" introducing "multa quoque" -a parallel, sir, between what Aeneas has already suffered in war and those sufferings on land and sea just ahead.

HERR SONNENSTICH: 

Herr Gabor, since the days of Servius, Aulus Gellius, and Claudius Donatus-nay, since the moment of Virgil's death-our world has been littered with more than sufficient critical commentary on textual conjecture.

MELCHIOR: 

With all respect, sir, are you then suggesting there is no further room for critical thought or interpretation? Why, indeed, then, do we even-

HERR SONNENSTICH strikes MELCHIOR across the knuckles with a ruler.

HERR SONNENSTICH: I am suggesting no such thing. I am confirming that Herr Stiefel has made an error. And I am asking-nay, demanding-that

you amend his faulty text and proceed from there. Do I make myself clear? 

MELCHIOR’S jaw locks.

 Herr Gabor? 

No response. He strikes MELCHIOR more forcefully.

Herr Gabor, do I make myself clear?

MELCHIOR: 

Yes, Herr Sonnenstich: "litora multum ille."

HERR SONNENSTICH: 

All of you-together with Melchior Gabor: "Laviniaque venit ... "

CHILDREN:

 ... litora, multum ille et terris iactatus et alto vi superum saevae memorem Iunonis ob …

The CHILDREN’S recitation grows louder, more insistent, more numbing-as if somehow we were entering into MELCHIOR'S psychic experience of it. A bit of contemporary, electronic music drifts through. Shimmering song light finds MELCHIOR. He turns out and sings-like a rocker in concert:

MELCHIOR:

All that's known

In History, in Science,

Overthrown

At school, at home,

by blind men.

You doubt them, 

And soon they bark

and hound you 

Till everything you say 

is just another bad

about you.

All they say

Is, "Trust in What Is 

Written."

Wars are made, 

And somehow that is wisdom.

Thought is suspect,

And money is their idol,

And nothing is okay unless it's scripted in their Bible.

But I know

There's so much more to find just

in looking through myself, and not at them.

Still, I know

To trust my own true mind,

And to say: "There's a way through this . .. "

MELCHIOR begins to walk through the aisles of desks.

On I go,

To wonder and to learning 

Name the stars and know their dark returning.

I'm calling,

To know the world's true yearning-

The hunger that a child feels for everything they're shown.

You watch me

Just watch me,

I'm calling,

And one day all will know

You watch me

Just watch me,

I'm calling,

I'm calling,

And one day all will know

The song concludes. As he rejoins the CHILDREN in their recitation, the lights shift back to the classroom.

CHILDREN: 

... multa quoque et bello passus, dum conderet urbem …

HERR SONNENSTICH (Onto fresh matters): 

Thank you, gentlemen. Now, if you please: "inferretque deos Latio ... " The following seven lines of Pious Aeneas' journey. From memory.

The CHILDREN begin scribbling. HERR SONNENSTICH steps away. MORITZ taps MELCHIOR shoulder.

MORITZ (whispering): 

Melchi, thank you.

MELCHIOR: 

It's nothing.

MORITZ: 

Still, I'm sorry. You didn't need to-

MELCHIOR ("Not to worry"; ironic): 

Think what Aeneas suffered.

MORITZ: 

But I should have known it. "Multum ille." It's just ... I didn't sleep all night. In fact, I, uh, suffered a visit from the most horrific, dark phantasm …

MELCHIOR: 

You mean a dream?

MORITZ: 

A nightmare, really. Legs in sky blue stockings, climbing over the lecture podium.

MELCHIOR: 

Oh. That kind of dream.

MORITZ (nodding): 

Have you ever suffered such ... mortifying visions?

MELCHIOR: 

Moritz, of course. We all have. Otto Lammermeier dreamt about his mother.

MORITZ: Really?!!

MELCHIOR: 

Georg Zirschnitz? Dreamt he was seduced by his piano teacher.

MORITZ: 

Fräulein Grossebustenhalter?!

HERR SONNENSTICH grabs MORITZ by the arm, hoisting him up.

HERR SONNENSTICH: 

Moritz Stiefel. I need hardly remind you that, of all our pupils, you are in no position to be taking liberties. I will

not warn you again.

MORITZ nods-absolutely petrified. An intense alt-rock guitar riff, HERR SONNENSTICH freezes. The world around MORITZ comes to a halt as concert-like light finds him. He turns out in song.

MORITZ:

God, I dreamed there was an angel, 

who could hear me through the waII,

As I cried out-like, in Latin

"This is so not life at all.

Help me out-out-of this nightmare." 

Then I heard her silver call

She said: "just give it time, kid. 

I come to one and all."

MORITZ climbs onto his desk.

She said: "Give me that hand, please,

and the itch you can't control,

Let me teach you how to handle

all the sadness in your soul.

Oh, we'll work that silver magic, 

then we'll aim it at the wall."

She said: "Love may make you blind, kid

but I wouldn't mind at all."

The other BOYS (except MELCHIOR) stand up, slamming their hands on the desks and joining MORITZ. OTTO jumps on his desk.

MORITZ AND BOYS:

It's the bitch of living

With nothing but your hand.

Just the bitch of living

As someone you can't stand

MORITZ and OTTO get down and GEORG gets up, while MORITZ and the BOYS pick up and slam down the chairs to the beat.

GEORG:

See, each night, it's, like, fantastic

tossing, turning, without rest,

'Cause my day's at the piano

with my teacher and her breasts;

And the music's, like, the one thing 

I can even get at all,

And those breasts! I mean, 

God, please, just let those apples fall . ..

BOYS:

It's the bitch of living

With nothing going on.

Just the bitch of living,

Asking: "What went wrong?"

Do they think we want this?

Oh-who knows?

Int. Locker Room - Afternoon

The scene switches to the boy’s locker room. ERNST is in the shower, looking down.

ERNST:

See, there's showering in gym class . ..

HANSCHEN is getting dressed. He catches a glimpse of BOBBY, a boy a year older. 

HANSCHEN:

Bobby Maler, he's the best

Looks so nasty in those khakis

ERNST:

God, my whole life's, like, some test.

OTTO walks into the gym to see ANNA, hurling a dodgeball into OTTO’s stomach.

OTTO:

Then there's Marianna Wheelan-as if she'd return my call.

HASNCHEN walks out and playfully punches OTTO.

HANSCHEN:

It's like, just kiss some ass, man-

then you can screw 'em all.

MELCHIOR walks out of the locker room.

MELCHIOR:

It's the bitch of living,

And living in your head

It's the bitch of living,

And sensing God is dead.

The GIRLS run out of the locker room, starting to pick up balls and throw them.

BOYS and GIRLS: 

It’s the bitch of living

And getting what you get-

It’s the bitch of living

and knowing this is it

God, is this it?

This can't be it.

Oh God, what a bitch!

The CHILDREN drop the balls as the bell rings. 

FRAU SHAFER: 

Kids, hit the showers and grab your bags. I’ll see you tomorrow.

OTTO: 

Well, I'm off.

ERNST: 

Me, too.

HANSCHEN: 

I'll walk with you, Ernst.

ERNST pauses, turns back.

ERNST: 

You will?

HANSCHEN: 

We'll huddle over the Homer. Maybe do a little Achilles and Patroclus.

GEORG: 

Melchior, Moritz.

MELCHIOR: Home to Bach? 

GEORG: 

Fraulein Grossebustenhalter will not be kept waiting.

GEORG shivers involuntarily, and goes.

MORITZ: 

Ach, Melchi! Sixty lines of Homer, all those quadratic equations ... I'll be up all night again, haunted by another of those ... dreams. And still I won't get through it.

MELCHIOR: 

Oh, yes. Your dream.

MORITZ: 

Melchi, why-why-am I haunted by the legs of a woman? By the deepening conviction: some dark part of my destiny may lie there between them?

MELCHIOR: 

All right then. I'll tell you. I got it out of books. But prepare yourself: it made an atheist out of me. 

(A beat.) 

So-

MORITZ: 

No no-not here! I can't talk it! No-do me a favor: write it down. All of it. Put it in my bag-after lunch-tomorrow. 

(A beat.) 

If you like, you could add some illustrations in the margins. 

(A beat.)

MELCHIOR: 

Top to bottom?

MORITZ: 

Everything.

PRINCIPAL KNOCKENBRUCH and another teacher, FRAULINE KNUPPLEDICK, stroll past the gym and pause.

HERR KNOCHENBRUCH: 

Unfathomable. Fraulein Knuppeldick.

FRAULEIN KNUPPELDICK: 

Herr Knochenbruch-

HERR KNOCHENBRUCH: 

Look at that. Melchior Gabor, a young man of distinct intellectual capability-

FRAULEIN KNUPPELDICK: 

Thoroughly distinct.

HERR KNOCHENBRUCH: 

A young man who could be our top student-

FRAULEIN KNUPPELDICK: 

Top, Herr Knochenbruch.

HERR KNOCHENBRUCH: 

But there he is, polluting himself, cavorting about with that, that …

FRAULEIN KNUPPELDICK: 

Hysterical imbecile, Moritz Stiefel?

HERR KNOCHENBRUCH: 

Thank Heavens we can only pass sixty.

[inikavulpixelreviews]

Let’s Talk About Pokemon - The Grass Type

Now we're starting in on talking about the objectively superior starter type, Grass! Of course, “Grass” is an ill way to define the type in general. Even if you just use “Grass” as a catch-all for plant life, that still leaves out Grass' inclusion of fungus! And even recently, a Pokemon made of paper!

The general Grass type aesthetic is definitely wired more into the “weird”. Plant monsters tend to lean into that a lot, obviously, but there's more here than your mouthy Audrey II-esque flowers! From eyed pitcher plants to a living tangle of vines, the designs definitely end up being some of the more bizarre body shapes in the series.

Obviously though, you do end up with your Gogoats and Leafeons, which are animals that are half plant. Makes you wonder exactly how much of them is made up of plant matter? A weird nitpicky wonder of course, who needs to worry about that stuff in Pokemon of all things but there's still plenty of artists out there that tried their best shot at making biology textbook-like illustrations of how exactly plants are integrated into half-animal-half-plant Pokemon. Neat to look at!

Grass types are weak to what you'd expect; burning due to Fire, dying because of cold Ice, being eaten by Bugs, wilting due to toxic Poison. The one that makes the least sense to me is Flying, because plants aren't necessarily a direct opposing force to air or anything. I guess if you remember Flying type was almost “Bird” type, you could go on the logic that a lot of birds eat seed? Maybe cause tornadoes can be strong enough to uproot or destroy trees? By that logic, Flying aught to beat everything at that point.

Either way, that's a lot of weaknesses, but to make up for it, Grass is strong against some of the more common types in the game, like Water, Rock, and Ground. Grass types also tend to focus a lot on healing, having access to three tiers of draining moves in Absorb, Mega Drain, and Giga Drain, as well as common access to Leech Seed and Ingrain. They also like inflicting status ailments. A good handful of Grass types have Effect Spore, which can give attackers a random status ailment between Paralysis, Sleep, and Poison. They also get to use moves like Stun Spore, Sleep Powder, and Poison Powder, which inflict these ailments as well. They got quite a lot of options to wear down an enemy!

Top 10 Favorite Grass Types:

We've already seen a good handful of these on my top faves for a while. Even some that got knocked off entirely, sadly. Welcome back!

Bottom 10 Least Favorite Grass Types:

Man, this makes me feel mean because Simisage and Pansage are the only ones her that I outright don't care for. Just some of these plant critters are a little less exciting than the real show-runners.

The Cutest:

The Coolest:

Yeah, the last three trail off a bit don't they? In seeing them all in one spot like this, I make the late realization not too many of them are all that badass looking. They're usually either peculiar, cute, or pretty-looking.

The Prettiest:

The Spookiest:

More like FINALLY HAVING GRASS/GHOST TYPES BABEYYYYYY

Obviously “Spooky” is a bit more context-sensitive so we'll probably see this category phase in and out depending on what type we're covering.

Weirdest/Most Unique:

Most Inventive Use of the Type:

Plenty of creative endeavors here! Kartana is interesting obviously because it's not made out of traditional plant material, rather being made of paper! And Tapu Bulu for being Grass almost solely by proxy of being a nature deity. Exeggcute is creative for being “plant eggs,” and the others are generally neat ways to create plant monsters.

GRASS TYPE WISHLIST:

Just as an FYI, my wishlists are already written out and will be posted as-is regardless of the Sword and Shield news that comes out. Just in the interest of listing off my current wants and later seeing what Sword and Shield does that fulfills them!

A Deciduous Tree:

Yes, I know there's Trevenant, but that's more like a tree that's been taken over by a ghost. It'd be nice to get a less spooky tree monster. And knowing their creative side, they could even give the traditional Ent a fun twist.

A Weeping Willow:

I realize this is cheating in two ways. One being I JUST said a tree. And two because my idea of a weeping willow would be an idea for another Grass/Ghost type. I'm selfish. I just need m o r e. And the idea of a sobbing, vengeful wraith that also happens to be a weeping willow is just TOO COOL to pass up. But one that uses projectile tears and is Grass/Water or cries poison or something for a neat Grass/Poison would be nice too.

A Christmas Tree:

AGAIN probably interchangeable for the Deciduous Tree idea. But I'd just love to get a second evergreen critter with little bulbs of fruit growing on it that look like Christmas ornaments. I just love Holiday aesthetics, don't judge me.

A Sundew:

We already got a pitcher plant and a venus flytrap, why not make a trio of carnivorous plants? Not to mention there's lots of creepy-but-pretty potential in a Sundew Pokemon. And plenty of applications for those bug-eating leaves it has. Either as arms, or even a tongue?!

A Bleeding Tooth Fungus:

Hopefully not a literal application of name. Body horror of the mouth is a huge no-no for me, eugh. But yeah, I could make a huge list of Fungi That Look Neat, but I'll narrow it down to one of the prettiest looking ones, the Bleeding Tooth! That's just BEGGING for a Grass/Fairy raspberry jam-oozing critter. Or even one that looks like a CAKE! Yes, I'm aware eating this thing is not a good idea. But that doesn't stop it from looking delicious.

A Wilted Flower:

Like fungus, I could give a big ol' list of flowers I like, but let's give it a spin on its head. Why not have a sad-sap looking little thing that's all dried up and wilted? It's something that's oddly missing from the Grass type in general, we don't really have a dead or dying plant yet! No, Trevenant doesn't count. Even Trevenant has really green leaves for something supposed to be dead!

A Dragonfruit:

Sure, let's throw a fruit into the mix to complete the Grass Type Trifecta. Rather obviously, Dragonfruit is just asking to become a Grass/Dragon type. And even if it were that predictable, I wouldn't mind. The fruit is pretty, and I'm still crossing my fingers for a Pokemon that's Grass/Dragon by default.

A Policeman's Helmet:

An odd name for a plant, I know. But to address the part where Pokemon has still yet to give us a Grass/Fire type, I present to you, this thing! It may look unimpressive at first, but this thing has seedpods that explode when something touches them! Obviously, not in a fiery blaze, but there's a very easy way to interpret it that way! It's be the less obvious go-to than making a Grass/Fire type a chili pepper.

A Lemon:

Okay, hear me out. Lemons are often known for their rather zesty lip-puckering sour flavor. Not only that, but lemons can also be used as batteries, much in the same way those potato batteries you made in school can! You get where I'm going with this? Sounds like he perfect opportunity for a natural Grass/Electric type!

[Archive]

[comicteaparty]

February 10th-February 16th, 2020 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from February 10th, 2020 to February 16th, 2020.  The chat focused on Betrayal by Alex Lewis.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Betrayal by Alex Lewis~! (https://alexmakescomics.com/betrayal/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace until February 16th, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Discussions are freeform, but we do offer discussion prompts in the pins for those who’d like to have them. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic! Whether you finish the comic or can only read a few pages, everyone is welcome to join and chat with us!

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 1

1. What did you like about the beginning of the comic?

2. What has been your favorite moment in the comic (so far)?

3. Who is your favorite character?

4. Which characters do like seeing interact the most?

5. What is something you like about the art? If you have a favorite illustration, please share it!

6. What is a theme you like that the comic explores?

7. What do you like about the comic’s story or overall related content? 8. Overall, what do you think the comic’s strengths are?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

Delphina

Just finished reading! I really found the part with Aune's "book of secrets" such a heartbreaking sequence. Alex using the blue pen kind of reinforces the themes of differentness and being an outsider not only in her outside world, but even just in the context of being honest about her own feelings. https://alexmakescomics.com/2019/06/07/chapter-six/

I also really felt for her in Chapter 8, when talking about her relationship with Aune and saying "the more time I spent with her, the more of myself I lost trying to keep up with her. It didn't matter to me at all. I liked myself better when I was with her." Just again, this theme of finding something to define herself when she'd been adrift, but not always in an honest or healthy way. https://alexmakescomics.com/2019/08/11/chapter-eight/

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

I like the art style - it's very unique!

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

I like the way the comic ends on sort of an open-ended note. It's not very often that we get completed comics here on CTP, and I think this comic's ending is weirdly satisfying in its incompleteness. Like we don't know whether Aune and Alex make up, but we know that they're both open to it, y'know? I also looked into the Harold Pinter play Betrayal (which this comic is partially based off), and it's pretty interesting the ways they're similar and different. Like the story regards a group of friends and their romantic relationships (and them betraying each other, of course), but the main group of characters is two girls and one boy rather than two men and one woman. I'm curious how many of the changes are due to it being partially a memoir of the author's life and how many are the result of just creating an interesting fictional story about high schoolers.

I also really like the comic's use of flashbacks to tell Alex's story - flashing back to her childhood contextualizes her experiences as a highschooler really well.

RebelVampire

I really like in general how the story is told with a non-linear timeline. Not a lot of stories can actually pull them off successfully, because you run a high risk of confusing the audience. However, despite this one time jumping around a lot, it was never confusing. I think I chalk this up to the fact that the focus on the comic is not the plot itself but the relationships. So you don't need to know the timeline exactly to be able to empathize, experience, and understand what is going on in the relationships. So this is something I really enjoy about the comic. I really love non-linear when it's done well, and this is done well in that regard.

What I enjoy about the beginning of the comic is just how damn awkward everything is. Like, everything about their interactions is exactly why ill never go to a high school reunion. Cause there's this expectation to be super impressed with ppl (hence shallow comments) while also being a mind reader (like knowing someone doesnt go by an old name anymore). It's embarrassing and horrible and the comic really hit at some of my deeper social anxieties that while I've grown from, never will quite be gone. So bravo for making benign horror XD(edited)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Woah, I was not expecting to read a completed comic here! That was a nice change of pace. I really agree with the people praising the non-linear timeline. Using a highschool reunion as a framing device was an excellent decision

I wonder if the main character was gay or asexual?

Alex_makes_comics

Hello, I'm Alex. I made this comic - and I'm crying reading your comments. I've never had people review this book before. Some of the chapters only had about two views before this week so... This is very big for me. Hooboy. In answer to ongoing questions: changes to the Betrayal script from Harold Pinter's play were made to make it fit my experiences. The play is always a question of who is betraying who in a toxic love triangle. It's a jumping off point for me to talk about my memories. I went to see it and it hit a chord, after which I immediately sat down and wrote this. I love how the title of the play conceals who is betraying who: betrayal is a flexible concept. Hiding behind Pinter's words meanwhile ,when I have to, makes it easier to share my memories with others without self censoring. I am always terrified of people I know reading this book! In answer to the question of orientation, I'm bisexual if that helps anyone

RebelVampire

My favorite moment in the comic I would say is the ending. I like that it's open-ended and that there's no clear leaning one way or another. It's kind of up to the reader to judge the events they just saw. Not to mention, I feel the open-ending nature fits the mood of the comic in that relationships aren't straight forward and constantly in a flux. So having the ending be not entirely clear suits that well. As for a favorite character, I'm honestly not sure I could pick one in this case. Everyone is so human and I feel like picking a favorite would kind of be like picking a side. Or kind of like your friends trying to ask you to rank them in terms of how much you like them. That would be a challenge I'm not up for in this case. As for interactions, definitely Alex and Aune. The relationship there is fascinating from the way the story is told, so I'm never quite sure what to make of it, especially when knowing how the relationship sours. And since its through their interactions we get to know Aune, it almost feels like a character study in a way whenever the two interact.

Before I blather too much in one day, one thing I like about the comic is how different the kid versions of the characters look as opposed to the adults. I feel it's more true to life since a lot of adults do change a ton from how they looked at kids. So while theres definitely similarities, the age progression just felt really natural.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I agree with what Rebel said about the age progression feeling natural. If I could describe this comic in one word, I would maybe choose "realistic."

It does a great job of protraying that feeling of growing up and leaving things behind

Emotions and drama that feel so important as a child and as a high schooler turn out to really not matter that much at all

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 2

9. Given the story’s title, in what ways do we see betrayal throughout the story, and which moment stuck out to you the most regarding the subject? What can be learned from the story in regards to dealing with it?

10. What do you think the story can teach us regarding the nature of relationships and how they change as we grow older? In what ways do these events perhaps relate to your own life or what about the storytelling makes them relatable in general?

11. What do you think the story has to say about growing up in general, both in regards to how we change and how the people around us change? If applicable, why do you think coming of age stories like this are important?

12. How do you interpret the end of chapter 10 where Alex and Aune finally interact? What do you think each character is feeling? Overall, do you think their relationship can be repaired after the damage is done?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

12) i didbt read the ending as starting to repair a relationship. I saw it as leaving your past behind. Also she doesn't seem to understand the damage she did to their relationship, so i don't think the main character would want to reconnect

Kabocha

Oh, dang. So I just binged the entirety of this comic, and there's something about this that feels a little... close to home, I guess? I really empathize with Alex -- the feeling of having someone who you love just kind of up and ditch you like that... That hurts. Granted, her situation was a bit more complicated, but... hhh. I think at best, she might go the route of wanting to be friendly with Aune later, but it just isn't gonna work out. That pain still exists, and even if Aune is past it, Alex pretty clearly isn't. And I think it's understandable. It's not a grudge, but more like that kind of awkward avoidance because you don't wanna get hurt again. just... aaaaaaaaaa. This was a very good read. Thank you @Alex_makes_comics.

RebelVampire

I do think what @Eightfish (Puppeteer) touched onto is the comic's strength: realism. Every event in this comic is so relateable since I think everyone can say they've at least been in a similar situation at least one of those times. So it forms a real connection with the reader so easily, thus allowing it to pull on the heart strings. Let's talk about themes and stuff though! So for in regards to betrayal, the moment that stuck out to me the most was the classroom convo between Alex and Aune where Aune is kind of distant and doesn't seem to really like anyone anymore and wants Alex to do break up dirty work. The reason this stuck with me is you can so clearly see it as a betrayal, and yet at the same time, it's such a benign thing. Like nobody is being literally stabbed in the back, nobody is having money stolen, no one is stealing anybody's lover. It's just...distance and a friendship falling apart for various reasons. Which I think is really the sad part. Since rather than dealing with betrayal, I think this story shows the many different forms it can take. And that sometimes its not this overdramatic thing. Sometimes its a slow burn that just singes for hours and hours.

However, I do like the story's maturity in that it shows us relationships are hard and need active maintenance. Cause without that, they fall apart. Additionally, as we grow older, its sad but common place friendships wont last. People change all the times, especially interests. So in the end those changes will drive people apart. At the very least I certainly haven't talked to my high school friends in years since many of them moved, got married, had kids, etc. Even during high school I had friends drift away. And I think these are pretty universal experiences, which is what I think makes the storytelling as relateable as it is.

As for the end, I kind of interpret it as "not ready." From the expressions, I think both Alex and Aune clearly felt awkward. Like the elephant in the room. They both wanted to talk about it seriously, but also both didn't want to talk about it. Too many feelings still fresh, coupled with maybe not enough desire to fix everything yet. So while I do believe most relationships can be repaired given time and effort, both parties need to be ready. And I just don't see that happening yet from how things ended.

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 3

13. What are you most looking forward to seeing in regards to the comic?

14. Any final words of encouragement for the comic?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

Kabocha

As I said before, I'm really glad I read this. It felt very personal, and it was kinda cathartic to read! It also was kind of nice to see someone else kinda express the awkwardness of meeting again with someone who you felt hurt by. And just... Yeah. Thank you for this comic.

Alex_makes_comics

Hi, Everybody. I'm not sure if this is the last day of Betrayal book club, or if tomorrow counts still, but I wanted to use this opportunity to thank everyone for reading and engaging with my work, before you start on the next webcomic. I have never been through a process like this. Most of the time, I make comics and release them into the internet, never to be seen again. It's a long and lonely process, full of self questioning and self doubt. You've all really restored my confidence. Just knowing that you read and genuinely got what I was trying to achieve is amazing. I was worried about the ending of chapter 11, that it might put readers off, but seeing you all bouncing ideas off each other about "will they"/ "won't they" get back together reassures me that I did the right thing. This was my first completed graphic novel,and I have learned a bit since making it. I am currently working on draft 2, which involves a full redraw. I have about half of the book done. The redraw is going to be 30% more cartoony in style, to give the book a clearer aesthetic. I am aiming for stronger lines and colour themes. I'm also adding new pages throughout. Part of this is to have Aune more visible in the background of scenes between Alex and Jonas, because they're all in one school: you can't avoid people completely in these situations. I'm also making some of the school scenes noisier to play on the "benign horror" elements - thank you for this term, Rebel Vampire! My goal is to redraw everything, update the website, then print a small batch to sell at cons. If anything bugged you about the current draft that you think I have to know, you are more than welcome to tell me. Otherwise, in case you want to know when the new version is out, I have a mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/e64c62c2d202/alexmakescomics Thank you again for everything. You really don't know how much you've helped me these two weeks. It's been mind blowing.

RebelVampire

What I'm most looking forward to seeing in regards to the comic is just more people finding it. It's a really touching, raw, and personally gripping story. Not only is the storytelling well-done with its use of time, but just overall, its one of the few stories where I can actually say it really got me thinking about life, relationships, and other things. And not a lot of comics can do that.

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Betrayal this week! Please also give a special thank you to Alex Lewis for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Betrayal, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: https://alexmakescomics.com/betrayal/

Alex’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/alexmakescomics

[depulsorpg]

WHATS IN YOUR FILE.

NAME: Bartemius “Barty” Crouch Jr. GENDER & PRONOUNS: Cismale, he/him. HOUSE & YEAR: Ravenclaw, 7th. BLOOD STATUS: Pureblood. AFFILIATION: Death Eaters.

WHAT DO THE RUMORS SAY.

POSITIVES: Studious, imaginative, skilful. NEGATIVES: Cynical, cruel, aloof . LOOKS LIKE: Cody Christian.

WHAT IS THE TRUE STORY.

Loves his mother dearly, but despises his father.

Suffered a lot of cruelty from his father during his childhood.

Has a thirst for knowledge, somewhat of a prodigy.

Finds most people quite irritating to converse with.

Has a slight obsession for the Dark Arts, finds them fascinating.

I 1958

Your peers came into this world as the apple of their fathers’ eye, their heirs, the ones they had been waiting for all along. Meanwhile, you came as a nuisance, a disruption to your fathers carefully laid out plans. Your young mother blissfully cradled your tiny frame in her arms, finally having found a purpose, something to put all her passion into. Until now she had only been a girl, living all alone in a big mansion that had never started to feel like her own but now she had a purpose, now she was a mother. Your dad saw you for the first time almost two days after you had been born. “Work.” He muttered under his breath to the young woman holding his child. You were named after him anyway; it was the proper thing to do after all. And while your father could barely manage to look at you for another two seconds, your mother’s fingertips carefully caressed your cheek. “Barty.” She mumbled reverently, overwriting your fathers wish. You would never become Bartemius like your father, you were hers from the beginning so you proudly wore the name she gave you.

I 1964

With your nose scrunched in disdain and anger, you watched the son of one of your mother’s girlfriends run through your garden like a berserker, disregarding the flower your mother so carefully and lovingly planted just a week earlier. You had watched her closely, fascinated by the care she took. She had explained to you that the young plants were fragile, that you needed to be very careful so that they would have a chance to grow and become strong and beautiful. Your beloved Mother, she always knew too much of fragility. When the heat of the midday had started to tire her you told her to sit down and finished the work, recreating her every step, being careful not to destroy any of the delicate petals. You had felt her proud and adoring gaze on your back.

Now she wasn’t saying anything as the careless boy trampled the little flowers that had sparked such joy in her. You knew she was too polite to do so; you knew she didn’t want to anger her friend. You, however, had no issue doing so. Rage was pulsating through your veins as you stormed towards the other kid, as fast as your legs would carry you, and pushed them into the little creek running through your garden. Pleasure fulfilled you as you watched him sputter and cry out for his mother. He had deserved it. Your mom scolded you a little, asked you what you were thinking to push the other boy into the water but you could see in her eyes that she knew. She knew what you had done and she was grateful for it. If anyone understood that beautiful and delicate things needed protection it was her.

I 1967

More often than not these days you found yourself with your head bowed over a book and whenever your mother spotted you like that she ruffled through your hair and called you her “smart boy”. Pride lit up her eyes whenever you showed her how good you were doing with your teacher. It was so easy to make her happy and proud, at least whenever she was actually around. These days she spent a lot of time in her bed, managing only the slightest of smiles whenever you slit through the bedroom door to visit her. Your father wouldn’t even have noticed unless hadn’t you begged him to call a doctor for her.  

The next day you diligently waited outside your mother’s bedroom for the doctor to come out again, worry burying creases into your youthful face. When he came out though all he told you was that your mother was fine, that she just needed rest and quiet for a while. He gave you a pitying look as he laid one hand on your shoulder and told you not to disturb her too much. You could see it in his eyes, that he wasn’t being entirely honest to you, that he didn’t think you were old enough to understand. That night you tried asking your dad about it, which only prompted him to let out a snort and shaking his head. “Your mother was never equipped for real life.” He just mumbled, which was all the information you would get from him that night. Anger started swelling in your stomach as you looked at him with disbelief, how could he say something like that about his wife? There wasn’t an ounce of worry for her in his gaze, he just plainly didn’t seem to care.

That day sparked a newfound interest in medicine for you as you were hellbent on finding out what illness actually ailed your mother. Days were spent in the library, instead of meeting up with your friends in order to enjoy those last days of summer. The house was eerily empty and quiet with your father at work the entire time and your mother barely ever leaving her bed. The doctor had told you not to disturb her but every now and then you still sneaked into her room. You wanted to ask her about her symptoms, but whenever you started inquiring, she just took your hands in hers and told you not to worry. How silly of her to think that was even possible.

I 1972

Coming back to school after the summer was bittersweet. School was alright, you even enjoyed most of the classes and some of your peers weren’t even too bad. However, it also meant leaving your mother all alone. She had seemed fine when you left, waving you goodbye from the door of the mansion. You had made her promise not to be alone too much, knowing all too well how isolation worsened her condition. It didn’t help much that word about Audrey Crouch’s mysterious disease had spread over this last year, turning her into somewhat of a spectacle for her usual girlfriends. You knew worrying wouldn’t help you much, but it was what you did the best. While all around you your housemates were excitedly sharing stories about their summer you solemnly unpacked your books. All too often you felt like an old man among kids, as your concerns seemed all too different from theirs. It was hardly tolerable to hear them making tiny issues out to be disasters when your life had never granted you such luxury.

Over the last year, you had been able to figure out that your mothers’ ailment was most likely one of the mind, not the body. A theory your father obviously didn’t care about, which he had made abundantly clear by throwing his glass at the wall behind you, missing by only centimetres. The thought of how much more choleric he had apparently become over the last year also didn’t do much to stop your worrying about your mother’s well-being. Over the summer your father had paid you more attention than ever before, seemingly hell-bent on picking arguments with you over just about anything but especially your mother. Having spent years without a care about her, his sudden involvement only made your blood boil with familiar hatred. After all these years of ducking from his gaze, you weren’t going to continue like that. Finally, you were at the same height as your father and both of you knew that the time of his undisputed authority had gotten to an end.

Back at Hogwarts however, you needed to remind yourself how to be a boy, how to walk a little less straight and speak a little softer. Not that you were good at it, blending in, or that you really cared for it either. Your only friends were those you had known for as long as you could remember and even in their eyes, you could spot the bewilderment at his behaviour at times. However, while others with similar patterns of behaviour were secretly called weirdos or even freaks, you were more of a mystery than an outcast. For some reason, your harsh words and the smug smirk you had fashioned for your façade seemed to intrigue people, even though they weren’t the kinds of people you were even remotely interested in associating with. Popularity had never been far up your list of priorities anyway.

I 1977

The light of your wand was the only thing spending even the slightest bit of illumination as you squinted in order to make out the words written on the pages before you. Small illustrations accompanied one of the rare texts about dark magic you had been able to acquire. What had started as an eccentric hobby was now your main field of interest, leading to you spending your nights up and reading instead of sleep. Dark bags below your eyes had long since become your constant companion, alongside ruffled hair and raised irritability, even though that last one was more of a permanent character trait than a momentary condition.

You long since left the lanky boy, that consisted mostly of anger, behind. Or maybe you had just become a more polished version, hiding the rage behind smooth words and a hollow smile. Most people were still insufferable to you, especially those your own age but you had learned to hide your contempt. These days you channelled your more destructive instincts into this, dark magic. The words still prompted a sinister grin to appear on your lips. Busying yourself with learning about one of the things your father despised the most had been the initial motive for your intrigue with the Dark Arts but those days had long passed, while your interest stuck with you.

Therefore, when you had heard about the Dark Lord and his following it didn’t take much to convince you. You could feel that there were big things happening, that history was being written and you so badly wanted to be part of that. There was such an allure to this movement that seemed to have just the right place for you. You finally found the darkness that had been brewing inside of you for many years mirrored in those around you. It certainly seemed that maybe this is where you, the boy with the dark thoughts and ambitions, might find your place after all.

WHAT ARE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS.

EVAN ROSIER: Friend, one of the few people he gets along with. RABIA SHAFIQ: Vaguely irritated by, but also admires. DIRK CRESSWELL: Enemy, often fights with.  ISOBEL CLEMONTE: Attempting to manipulate. THEO STEBBINS: Potions partner, cannot get along with.