#(ooc: hopefully the I love you comes across without him saying the words outright)

[captain-dville]

Dear Jonny. I'm not the best with feelings. None of us are, and unfortunately we lack in anomalies for that (Beyond the Toy Solider. Even then, there's only a 0.118282% chance it truly experiences emotions how a human brain would.)

However I am rather skilled with words so I am trying to use a median that won't end with me in tears.

I don't want you to hate me. And I'm sorry if I ever made you feel that way. I want to be around you, and I'm sorry if I gave off the impression that that's not something I wanted.

If you have truly forgiven me, I have rather recently finished downloading a book on body disposal techniques. And it reminded me off you. As much as I would truthfully love to spend time with you, I don't know if that's something I can bring myself to do out of shame.

Regardless, I find it nessecary to end this with I love you. Thank you for caring about me even when I caused you pain. Thank you for caring about me when I was shutting down. Thank you for everything. The book is outside your door. I couldn't slide it under with this note. I'm sorry. You can keep it if you'd like. I've archived it digitally so I don't need it back.

-Ivy.

*Jonny sits on the side of his bed, thinking. He'd found the note, with its perfect neat handwriting. And the book, sat waiting for him outside his door and wrapped in paper to keep it clean. He'd taken both back inside with him and cracked open another drink.*

*Now he rereads Ivy's words for what has to be the dozenth time, taking a sip of the beer in his hand and letting out a slow sigh.*

*He opens up his private comms with her and starts writing, not bothering with a greeting.*

I don't hate you. I'm not even mad. You were out of your damn head, and of anyone on this ship I'd be a hypocrite to judge you for flying off the handle and doing things you didn't mean.

Or even things you did mean.

It's alright if you meant it. I meant what I said too.

Truth is, Ives, I'm not good with words either. Stories, tall tales, I'm fucking great at those, but true words? That's different.

Noticed you avoiding me though. I figured you didn't want to see me. That all of it - maybe the fighting, maybe just seeing me all pathetic like that - killed those mushy feelings and you were done. If I was wrong about that... well, great.

Thanks for the book. If you feel up to it, we can test out the techniques sometime.

And if your sweater got damaged in the scuffle, or from the blood, you can drop it off. I'll fix it up.

( @originalarchivist )

[bokoutoe-retired]

— #51 “i’ll always be here for you, ok?” & #6 “i’ve been falling in love with you since the first day we met”

characters; shoto todoroki

synopsis; todoroki seems troubled and it’s up to his best friend to find out why

total w/c; 2030

warnings; a few brief mentions of anxiety, but thats it :) i also mention end**vor like once lmao

「a/n」 requested by @greywarenns oh my god!! i literally rewrote this thing four times until i got here, and i’m decently happy with how it turned out. but i found it super hard to write todo so he’s defintely a little ooc, but i hope it’s decent! this was a challenge but i enjoyed it nonetheless so thank you for the request! <3

the realization that you’re in love with your best friend is shocking, to say the least. and it certainly was to todoroki. y/n and shoto did everything together. they studied together, trained together, ate together, made fun of endeavor together, the two were practically attached at the hip. wherever shoto went, y/n went and vice versa. but when todoroki found himself staring at you for just a little too long during one of your regular sunday study sessions, it hit him like a ton of bricks.

i’m in love with y/n l/n. i’m in love with my best friend.

that night, you didn’t notice any change in shoto and the next couple of days were pretty normal too. going about your school days and training schedules as usual. but you and shoto never ended up spending time alone together so there was no opportunity to even recognize any shifts in his behavior. you two were always separated or with another classmate, but never alone.

it wasn’t until your scheduled friday hangout that you first noticed a change. every friday night, without fail, you and todoroki set aside time to hangout. either to study, to watch a movie or even to just lay around in the same room. it didn't matter as long as you were together. during the last friday night you two had agreed that tonight's hangout was to be a movie night. now normally, todoroki wasn't an outrightly affectionate person but he did mention to you once in passing he found physical closeness comforting, and even longed for it from those few he was close with. ever since that late night conversation, it wasn’t uncommon to find yourselves situated near each other. just casual stuff like your legs touching during lunch and your feet thrown over his lap or your shoulders touching during movie nights. on particularly cold evenings you might even find your head tucked into the warm curve of his left shoulder. this subtle form of affection between you had soon become the norm, as it was welcomed and appreciated by both parties. after growing used to the comfortable, casual affection it was understandable that you felt a bit out of place when he showed up to your dorm room and took his seat on the opposite side of the bed, as far away from you as he could get. your laptop resting in the space between, almost mocking the distance while the movie sits waiting to be played. his act of separation sparked a flame of anxiety and worry in your chest. maybe it had gotten to be too much or you were making him uncomfortable, and he didn't have the heart to say anything.

“everything okay sho?” you really didn’t realize how accustomed to his touch you had become until you no longer had it. he may have only been less than a few feet away but it felt like miles compared to previous nights.

“yes, why?” he looks over to you as he answers. his face appears neutral, with no signs of being uneasy.

“oh nothing...” you trail off and shift in your seat while awkwardly adjust the blanket you had draped over yourself. it’s not like either of you had outright asked for it or mentioned anything about it out loud. truthfully, it just kind of started happening. and at this point you didn’t want to be the first person to say anything and make things awkward. you opt to keep your concerns unspoken and just roll with it for the night. your friday movie night came and went. it was nice to spend time with shoto and it wasn’t unenjoyable by any means, but you will admit it felt odd not having him pressed against you like usual.

over the course of the following saturday and sunday you invite him to hang out a few times. and all he gives you in response is a blunt “i can’t” or “i’m busy”. being his best friend you're more than aware how straightforward, or even how dense, he can be but this time it’s different. it’s sharp and curt, maybe even bordering annoyed. maybe he was just a little tired today. but maybe it was something more? between his attitude now and actions friday night, perhaps it was. it could be that something was bothering him or something put him in a sour mood. you can’t help but give into the lingering fear that maybe you had done something wrong. you let it go for the rest of the weekend, knowing that he would hopefully come to you, his best friend, if something had happened and he wanted to talk. hopefully.

it’s not until monday that you finally get truly fed up.

to start the day, there was no todoroki waiting outside your dorm room. normally, every morning without fail, you and shoto would walk together across campus from the dorms to your first class of the day. it was a wonderful way to start your day, but this time he wasn’t there. ten minutes later, when you arrived to class he was already sitting in his seat, notebook open and pencil out. had you really done something wrong? said something unintentionally rude, or had you really made him that uncomfortable while spending time together? you meet his eyes from across the room and offer him a small wave as you enter the classroom and slide into your seat across the room. he gives you a small nod and returns to looking at the textbook on his desk.

as much as todoroki wanted to walk you across campus, and as much as he wanted to talk with you before class started, he had come to a conclusion late friday night. when he walked back to his dorm after finishing the movie and saying goodnight, he decided that maybe if he stopped talking to you for a little bit he would be able to clear his head a little, sort out his feelings and figure out what he should do. as genius of an idea todoroki thought it was, a conversation with you was inevitable as you easily fell into step right next to him on the way to your second class. you immediately start talking about an album jirou had recommended to you. he listens to you speak while also doing his best to not get caught up in thinking about how pretty your smile is, or how cute you are when you get excited. it’s only when he catches a soft smile forming on his own face he realizes not talking to you would be a lot more difficult than he thought and not nearly as effective as he had hoped. he knew you would eventually realize he was purposefully disregarding you. he also knew you well enough to know that you would probably think it was your fault. that outcome definitely wasn’t what he desired. the last thing he wanted was to have you think he was upset with you for some reason, when in reality he was upset with himself for feeling about you the way he does.

it’s honestly a big relief to you when he starts engaging with you again, but you can tell somethings still bothering him. he gives you that soft smile often reserved only for you, but it doesn't quite seem complete. he nods and makes small comments as you continue talking, and it does little to soothe the nagging fear that somehow you messed up. you begin to wrack your brian for any possibilities. he hasn't mentioned his father in a while so it probably wasn't that, he did spectacular on the last three tests and as far as you know he was still ranked number one in class. he even got off campus last week, to visit his mother in person and said it went well so it’s likely not that either. there’s always a possibility that you really did do something to upset him.

after observing his abnormal behavior for the rest of the day, you manage to finally pull him off to the side on your walk back to the dorms. you gently grab him by the elbow and tug him down by the arm to sit with you on the bench.

“listen, shoto” you begin to speak, and he doesn't miss the anxiety that flashes across your face as you gently squeeze his arm with the hand still resting there, “i uh, i don’t know what's going on with you, but i know something is up and i’m really worried. you’ve been distant and moody and maybe i’ve done something wrong and you're upset-” he cuts you off in the middle of what he knows could’ve been a very long rant.

“y/n it’s not like that, i could never be mad at you. please don’t worry yourself over nothing” he does his best to reassure you without completely spilling his feelings. it’s difficult to not share everything with you like normal, but the fear of losing you holds him back.

“sho, it’s clearly something if it’s causing you to act so different. if you don’t want to talk about it right now that's fine, but just know i’ll always be here for you ok? i’ll be here to listen whenever you wanna talk” you have the softest look in your eyes as you speak and place your hand on top of his. your skin is so soft and much warmer than his. he feels an unusual heat begin to crawl up his normally cold right side, and he resists the urge to turn his hand over and intertwine your fingers with his.

“i’m in love with you!” his eyes widen as he realizes what he's just blurted out, but continues on anyways, “i’ve been falling in love with you since the first day we met. and it's so scary and i’ve just now realized it, but you’re my best friend and i don’t know who else to tell. i don’t want to lose you but i don’t think i can keep it to myself. i understand that you don’t feel the same way, and i apologize if i’ve made you uncomfortable...” his words start out bold but he quiets down as he loses confidence and sees a look of utter disbelief flash across your face. he begins to regret his words immediately and his first instinct is to leave. thinking maybe he could just walk away and pretend like this never happened, but your grip on the back of his hand tightens and prevents him from running. he stops and looks down at you only to meet your eyes, glassy with tears. he feels his own eyes begin to grow hot, he must’ve really messed up huh? he flumps back onto the bench next you, as your hold on his hand never loosens. the tears welling in his eyes threaten to spill over but his heart skips a beat when he sees your lips stretch into a smile.

“sho, you idiot! i thought you were mad at me” out of relief tears begin to stream down your cheeks “i’m in love with you too, a whole lot” you sniffle and let out a laugh, before moving your fingers to interlock with his.

“you? you what?” the breath leaves his body and he squeezes your hand in an attempt to ground himself. not once had the idea of you returning his feelings even crossed his mind, in his head he had already written himself off as unlovable in that way. yet here he is, on a bench with someone who truly loves him back. the emotions that swell in his chest are nothing but overwhelming and its all he can do to smile and pull you into a big kiss. with one hand still holding yours, he uses the other to tug you close. it’s inexperienced and clumsy as your lips slot with his. you bump noses and you can even taste a hint of your shared salty tears, but in the end none of that matters because it’s so good and so full of love.