#(not really tho - I surprisingly don't owe THAT many)

[amischiefofmuses]

Happy mundayyyyy! Here's some pics from pride this weekend, the bottom two were snapped by my mum as I was walking so I look like a cryptid but the fit was looking damn good.

[osamusriceballs]

The Accident - Part XVI

Atsumu x fem reader

Warnings: Stalking, kinda dry humping

Words: ~ 2,5 k

About: Y/n and Atsumu finally TALK. And more.

Part I II -> Next Part

A yawn escapes your lips as you slowly open your eyes to a dimly lit room. It's probably the middle of the day, judging by the way it looks outside. You surprisingly feel fully rested, with Atsumu still peacefully snoozing behind you, his arm loosely draped across your stomach. Your mind races back to the events of the previous night, causing your heart to skip a beat.

That woman.

Atsumu needs to do a lot of explaining to make up for that. If there is even a way to make up for that. You still don't know anything about her, but she for sure gives you the chills.

Maybe it was a mistake. To stay with him- even in the same bed, and to allow your heart to get that foolish hope again. But you're just human, and it seems like your heart isn't so easily convinced that he's not good for you.

You sigh and reach for your phone on the nightstand, noting how late it is—2 pm. Shocked by the time, you check your messages and spot surprisingly many from Osamu Miya and hesitantly tap on them.

Osamu: hope yer alright

Osamu: let me know when you’re home

Osamu: did ya fall asleep?

Osamu: thank you for your help. I owe ya. Call me if ya need anything. Stay safe.

Osamu: good morning. Grab that idiot and come over to Onigiri Miya when yer awake. Or come on your own when he messes up. Drinks are on the house for you.

Osamu: not for Tsumu tho. He can pay double

A smile plays on your lips as you respond quickly.

You: hey! Sorry for the late reply, I fell asleep. Atsumu‘s still sleeping. I‘ll talk to him and let you know if we‘re coming. Thank you for the offer! :)

Osamu: sure. see ya

You: see you :)

Your attention is diverted when Atsumu stirs, his arm now wrapping around your waist as he clumsily pulls you closer. He groans and nuzzles against your neck, a sound that sends a shiver down your spine. Is he aware that it's you he's holding? And does he even remember last night? You somehow doubt it.

"Y/n?" he mumbles after a moment, and your eyebrows shoot up, but you respond with a soft hum and nod.

"Yer—how?" he slowly questions, his face still heavy with sleep. You gently take his hand and remove it from your waist, scooting away enough to turn and face him. His eyes are tired, his expression soft while he fights to fully wake up. You just hope that he doesn't feel too horribly after all that drinking. His team will kill him for sure if he has practice today. You really hope that it's his day off.

"I brought you home. Remember that you had a few drinks at Onigiri Miya's?" you say, trying to sound neutral, though bitterness lingers in your tone. He stares at you blankly until embarrassment and guilt crease his features.

"Yeah, right. I'm—y/n, I'm sorry for that. Thank ya for bringin' me home. I'm just kinda... havin' a hard time." He closes his eyes for a short second and takes a deep breath. He suddenly looks so exhausted that it almost breaks your heart.

"Hard time with what? Work?"

He shakes his head, closing his eyes again, and a weariness settles over his face, despite the ample sleep you both received. "Work's fine. Great, actually. Gotta play with some real amazin' players. I even got to see Aran often again; that's fine. Just..." He opens his eyes, sadness evident. "Just?" you prompt, your heart skipping a beat at his gaze. You know that it has to do with you—you just don't know what exactly it is. And the urge to interrogate him is burning strong in your body.

"I never got the chance to talk to ya after that night," he admits. You nod, urging him to continue, to finally give you some answers. "I wanted to apologize. For kissin' ya. I made ya uncomfortable, ruined everything."

Your confusion is palpable—just what is wrong with him? He should tell you about that woman and not that! And that definitely didn't sound like he wanted to do it again, which feels like a stab to your heart and somehow angers you.

"Uhm... Atsumu, that was not quite what I expected. Like, sure, I've been thinking about that kiss and my feelings for you, but I was more taken aback when you blocked me and invited another girl over, literally the same night we had our kind-of-date."

His face drops after listening to you, confusion and worry etched on his features. "What are ya talkin' about? I never blocked ya, and I sure as heck didn't invite any other girl here. Hell, I don't even talk to women outside of work. Who should I bring here?"

"Brunette? Perfect smile and wearing one of your shirts? Could hardly miss her on my way down. Or when we met her yesterday. Do you have her over at your place every night?" you retort, ignoring his repulsed expression at your description of her. You could almost believe that he doesn't like her at the way he scrunches his nose.

"Her? Ya met her? Yesterday?"

You nod, narrowing your eyes as you recall her vicious features after that scene. But wow, you were definitely embarrassing. How you acted possessively towards Atsumu. Will she laugh about it with him as soon as they meet each other again?

His reaction surprises you, though; he suddenly reaches for you, pulling you a bit closer. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for gettin' ya involved in this. Are ya okay? She didn't do anything to ya, did she?" You stare at him, confused, and shake your head. His worry confuses you. Why bother after not talking to you for so long?

"Can't believe she dared to come here again. If ya ever see her again, you have to call the police. I have a restraining order against her." Your eyes widen surprised at his words and you frown.

"Restraining order? Is she... like a crazy ex?" Dread fills your stomach at the thought, and a suspicion arises within you.

He slowly shakes his head. "She's a very obsessed fan, to put it nicely. She's been stalking me for a while. Started innocently; I noticed that she came to Onigiri Miya every time I was there too. Then I noticed her when I went for walks every other day, always waitin' at the same spot for me and trying to talk to me. And then one day, I noticed that stuff from my apartment started to go missing. That was like two years ago. I contacted the police after I caught her breaking into my apartment, and she got arrested. Haven't seen her since then, but she started showing up since that one night with ya." He groans and you can see just how much stress this situation caused him. He looks so tired while talking about it, it almost breaks your heart.

"I don't know how she found me again," he continues. "She broke into my apartment, and I had video proof fortunately, so I could file a case, and I have a restraining order against her now. She can't show up again, or she'll land in jail. I also had to get a new phone and number; she did something with it. Tried calling ya with the new one, but ya never called back."

You listen to the story with watery eyes. That woman is actually a stalker?! And he had been suffering like that all the time? Tears well up, and you try to calm yourself. So he wasn't ignoring you on purpose. He actually tried to reach out, and you probably ignored his messages, and he felt miserable because he put you in that situation. Hell, someone broke into his apartment. This must have been horrible for him. You're just glad that she at least cannot legally come here again. Even though it doesn't seem to stop her. A part of you hopes that she'll show up again. The thought of her in jail does sound kind of appealing to you- and not just because you were kind of jealous before. She is danger, and you pray that she won't show up again. Maybe she'll stop now that she knows that he's taken- even though she does not seem to respect boundaries. Your thoughts are running, you don't even know what to say at this point. How could you be mad with him after this?

A ray of hope suddenly flashes before your eyes, and you feel your heart flutter. You know that it's selfish to think about your foolish feelings, to think about how much you like him and to wonder if he reciprocates these feelings. But this means that you might mean something to him. This means that he might like you just like you like him, if he has tried contacting you and kept his distance to protect you.

"So... uhm... you weren't ghosting me because of the kiss?" You feel so, so foolish for asking, but your heart longs for confirmation. You'll deal with the stalker after finally finding out about his feelings. After waiting for him for so long, you need to know.

"I didn't want to ghost ya at all, y/n. I really like ya." His eyes catch yours, and you feel butterflies in your stomach once again. He doesn't seem to mind that you changed the topic like that and you know that you look at him like a hopeful lost puppy. He still has that magical effect on you. Everything just feels so right with him, like you're just where you belong. He's so close; you could probably count his lashes, and you can see the flecks of different shades of brown in his eyes.

"I was actually... really sad because we parted like that. I didn't mean to give you the impression that something's wrong—I just thought you'd see this as a game, and nothing more. That I'm just an easy way to spend time for you. Nothing more." You feel so vulnerable when you say these words, but he quickly shakes his head, looking at you with hurt in his eyes.

"I'm sorry. Y/n, I'll make it up to ya, 'kay? Please. Let me make it right." You melt at his words, only managing to nod. "O-okay." This feels like a dream come true. You can't believe that you're making up with him like this- after carrying his drunk ass home and sleeping in his bed. But you just feel so good when you're with him, and for once you decide to be selfish and to take what you need.

He looks at you, clearly stunned. "Okay? Just like that? I was ready to get on my knees to beg for forgiveness and to buy some more diamonds for you." A soft laugh escapes your lips, and he seems to lighten up at your reaction too.

"Making up to me could definitely include some groveling. I wouldn't mind seeing you on your knees, actually. I don't remember you getting on your knees for me ever, even though we are married." You smile, feeling the tension leaving your body. Only he can make you feel like this.

"Oh?" He grins, and you suddenly feel giddy. "Let me refresh yer memories then." He jumps off the bed, lively and energetic suddenly, and you look at him stunned. "Come here." He pats the edge of the bed, and you slowly crawl there, probably not very elegant, but Atsumu still gazes at you like you're a princess that graced him with her presence. You sit up hesitantly, looking at Atsumu right in front of you, who smiles fondly and smoothly sinks down to one knee. He looks devilishly handsome with his disheveled hair, and you can't do anything else but stare at him. Is this a dream?

"Y/n Miya, I know I don't deserve it, but would ya give yer husband another chance? I promise to make ya happy and to never keep secrets like that from you ever again. I'll be whatever ya want me to be just to keep you happy." Your jaw drops at his words and you can't stop the butterflies in your stomach.

"Wow, uhm, that sounds pretty serious." You breathlessly laugh and he smiles with a sincere expression that makes you blush.

"I am. I kinda..." he sighs, running a hand through his hair, making it even messier and he looks even more attractive like this. "I kinda wanna go on dates with ya. Like real dating. Not just getting along because of the marriage thing."

You stare at him, not having expected this kind of answer. He's actually serious about this? And wants to go on dates with you?

"So uhm... what do ya say? Is that alright with you?" He looks bashful, and you finally manage to come up with a response, the one that your heart is longing for.

"I'd love to." The words come out softly, and you smile fondly at his reaction and the way he seems to light up. You don't even have time to realize what's happening- and then he suddenly raises just enough to be at eye level with you and then simply connects his lips with yours in a sweet kiss. You gasp, surprised, your hands coming up to his shirt to ground yourself, but melt into the feeling, allowing him to cup your cheeks and angle your face towards him to deepen the kiss.

This is not what you had expected at all, but feeling his lips against yours, his body pressing against yours—it's enough to make you feel hazy and giddy. You need more; you need to be closer to him. So you wrap your arms around him and pull him closer while leaning back until he's laying on top of you, urging him to stay close to you. He rests most of his weight on his arms, yet you still feel him on top of you, his body pressing gently against yours .

You open your lips, and he instantly uses the chance, softly licking against your lower lip before he slightly moves his tongue to meet yours. His hips press against yours, harder suddenly, and you can't help but wrap your legs around his waist and pull him down to you.

The position is intimate. Your most sensitive part pressing against his middle, and you suck in a sharp breath when you feel something growing in his pants the longer you keep kissing him. Your hands claw into his shirt when he carefully grinds against you—and you whimper against his lips needily, feeling heat rush through your body.

You both know this is where you should stop; you both have only solved your issues like five minutes ago, and some more things definitely need more clarification, but that's the least thing on your mind now. You- you want him.

And you breathe heavily when he pulls back, his lips wet from your combined saliva, looking unfairly hot with his dark widened pupils while he looks at you intensely.

...

TO BE CONTINUED

[anthrophobixx]

Since I don't often talk abt stuff over here, I think it's safe to assume ppl don't know abt my version of olandy either, so here's an extremely LONG post w all my olandy headcanons so far :33

(fyi I project onto both of these guys, esp randy, so some of these headcanons are a bit more personal o(-( u don't need to know which ones tho)

Randy always gives the corniest but cutest compliments and Oliver is extremely flattered by them

They have cute matching nicknames for each other, Randy calls Oliver sunshine n Oliver calls Randy moonlight 🙏

Randy is always hesitant on accepting gifts from Oliver cuz he feels guilty for not being able to give him stuff in return even tho Oliver has told him multiple times that he doesn't owe him anything

Randy tries to save up money whenever he gets his paychecks so he can get something nice for Oliver once in a while too :33

Oliver's only topic around other ppl is literally just Randy. He's sooooo in love rhgrgrhrh

Oliver usually hums songs for Randy to comfort him or to help him fall asleep

Randy often visits Oliver at his place (and by that I mean bro literally just lives there atp)

They like to go on walks together or to watch movies after work, depends on what they're in the mood for

Randy is a great listener and Oliver *loves* that about him. He's comfortable with rambling abt whatever comes to his mind because he knows he's paying attention and Randy loves it when he's talking abt random stuff cuz he thinks it's cute

They're both touch starved as fuck, the difference is that Randy is terrified of physical contact while Oliver desperately craves it

Randy always feels like Oliver deserves a lot better than him and whenever the topic comes up Oliver tells him to shut the fuck up and showers him in compliments

Whenever one of his scars starts healing Randy always shows it to Oliver and Oliver being the lovely bastard he is hugs him tightly n repeatedly tells Randy how proud he is of him

Oliver and Randy definitely have matching kuromi n melody plushies

Oliver calls Randy up every single hour during work cuz he misses him

Randy is a cat person and Oliver's a dog person

Whenever they're on walks and they run into a stray cat they need to stop asap cuz Randy just *has* to pet the lil creechur

Randy needs constant reassurance from Oliver that he's infact dating him because he actually loves him and not just out of pity

Adding onto that, Randy often feels like he's annoying Oliver by constantly worrying about stuff that he knows aren't true. He can't get rid of the constant feeling of guilt and he often tries to just swallow it all n suffer in silence. Oliver knows this and he tries to get Randy to open up to him more often, but he also doesn't want to pressure Randy into saying anything he's not comfortable with

Randy stopped having nightmares so often n waking up randomly in the middle of the night once he moved in with Oliver n they started sharing a bed :33

Randy's the one that cooks food in the house since he's surprisingly really good at cooking, even though he hasn't been in a kitchen for god knows how many years, he's probably even better at it than Oliver :o

Whenever Randy gets a compliment from Oliver he just starts muttering nonsense since he's not used to getting complimented n Oliver thinks his reaction is really cute

Oliver is the one to always arrive home first n he likes to wear Randy's iconic denim jacket until Randy finishes his shift, cuz the dude literally goes through the 7 stages of grief multiple times a day without his loser bf

Whenever they're in crowded places Randy either hides behind Oliver or closes his hoodie completely, let's Oliver drag him by his arm n lead the way

Randy often reads stories and poems out loud to Oliver cuz it helps him with his stutters

Randy always slightly twitches whenever Oliver touches him (his fight or flight just kicks in ok)

Oliver has a bug collection Randy's terrified of

Oliver often steals Randy's hoodies bc he likes baggy clothes and because Randy really can't do anything abt it ☠

Oliver gets extremely happy whenever Randy buys him small gifts like chocolate or tiny stuffed animals, although he often feels bad cuz Randy's spending all the money he gets from his job on him and waaaaaa why would he do that :'O

Although Randy's terrified of being touched, he actually craves hugs *specifically* from Oliver quite often n Oliver does not hesitate to give him as many as he needs :D

They hold hands whenever they get the chance. They hold hands when they walk, sit, eat, talk, lay in bed, etc etc.

Randy is still surprised Oliver gave him a chance, cuz at first he thought Oliver found him annoying and pathetic for his stutters, constant apologies, for his jobs, etc. He has never actually felt more loved by anyone before and he can't thank him enough for his kindness

Ever since they've been together Randy has become more confident, stronger even, both mentally and somewhat physically too

Oliver taught Randy how to fight back and he has become more confident since. His self esteem also grew and he feels sm happier this way

That being said Randy is still a very sensitive person. He panics extremely quick when he feels like he fucked up and WILL apologize for hours on end, ESPECIALLY if it's someone dear to him. Although if he feels like HE was wronged, he won't hesitate to stand his ground, even if it results in him crying by the end of it

Oliver likes to run around in the rain when it's dark and he always drags randy out with him, he says it feels like the entire world is theirs

Oliver taught Randy how to cook !! Yay !! Randy almost burnt the entire kitchen down once but hey someone had to believe in him regardless, especially since he's an amazing cook present time

Randy used to live with his swan and his pet possum at the ticket booth. He tried introducing Oliver to them and the swan got used to him rather quickly, meanwhile the possum kept hissing for a good few days whenever Oli tried to approach it. They all get along now tho

Oli has a shitload of vhs tapes with old cartoons on it that he got from Mr dickens and they have to bingewatch at least one of them every week

RANDY CAN SING I'M DYING ON THIS HILL LITERALLY FIGHT MEEEE they sing together a lot btw

They both had a pokemon phase, Randy was just more….deeply into it

Oki p sure this is all I got !! Sorry for any broken english I uh. copied all of these from older twitter threads

Feel free to use any of these btw :DD

CRINGE CULTURE IS DEAD I FUCKING LOVE OLANDY OKAy BYEEEEE

[sunsetsover]

ok so gut reaction thoughts after first watch of ep 2 before i forget them

i knew the moment babe mentioned obstacles that kant had paid that guy from the preview to flirt w bison. like he really is kinda sleazy bc i don't get the impression that he's interested in bison at all but he DOES wanna fuck fr. but im kinda obsessed bc obv he's trapped in this situation and is trying to do what he has to to protect himself and his brother but there's something desperate about him and i don't know where it comes from. like i feel like there's still a piece of the puzzle im missing that will make me go 'ah i get it now' when i see it and i need it asap otherwise it might drive me crazy

speaking of getting it now i had a lot of thoughts about romantically naive bison last week that i didn't really talk about bc of the whole power thing that was a lot more interesting for me to sink my teeth into but like. i feel like i Get it now. i see where this is going, i understand how this can spiral out of bison's control

bc i still do think he has power in the sense that i still do think he suspects kant and thinks he can handle the situation alone but i also think that bison has been so sheltered that kant's attention and interest is getting to him a lot more easily than i think he thought it would. like there were moments in this ep that felt a lot more real from bison, like they were actually him and not this persona he's putting on with kant. i think he's kind of becoming a lil enamoured w kant and his audacity and his persistence and flirtation and that that's gonna snowball until suddenly he's caught in the web he's helped to weave and he really does like kant and it really does hurt and then bison's gonna flip out

(and i think with kant it's gonna be a much slower burn in terms of actual feelings, which is gonna make the heartbreak sooo much worse. i can't wait tbf)

and fadel is the exact same as bison in that aspect btw. like for all his 'trust no one, everyone is out to get you' bs all it took was a couple of weeks (if that) of consistent pressure and attention and someone not being scared off for him to find himself in way out of his depth. the only real difference between him and bison is that he has the self awareness to know that it's stupid and dangerous. he knows when people and feelings get involved there's only so much damage control you can do. bison's still naive enough that he thinks he can play with that kind of fire and not get burned by it, whereas fadel seems to know better.

(i have many many thoughts abt fadelstyle but i feel like i still need to process to articulate them properly)

kant catching onto bison calling his mum 'mother' and bison's face and obvious lie abt it when kant pointed out how weird that is goes into another thought i had last week which is that 'mother' really is less of an actual mother and more of a boss which makes me think bison lied and that he and fadel probably really were adopted, (maybe rescued from some of the 'bad people' she obviously has an issue with?) maybe even w the intention of raising them into being her weapons instead of her children. i bet she uses affection and/or guilt as a tool to get them to comply (which i'd bet works more effectively on fadel than bison) and do what they're told. if they literally owe her their lives or she 'saved them' from a bad situation, ofc she's gonna use that to get them to do her bidding. it also might explain why both boys r so susceptible to the attention and affection they're both getting even tho they should both know better - if they've been starved of it as children, they're going to be more desperate for it (and vulnerable to it) as adults.

also surprisingly i don't think the bdsm thing between kant and bison is actually going to be necessarily sexual in nature, not exclusively. at least not at first. like the fact that in the preview bison was like 'will you let me continue what i started at the tattoo parlour?' (meaning the nipple clamps) implies there was no finishing it if you catch my drift. like it seems as though it's gonna be less of a 'let me tie you down and hurt you a lil while we fuck' and more a full blown Dynamic ygm. like bison's really gonna be out here nipple clamping that man just bc he can. bc kant's gonna let him. which is not what i expected? not in a bad way but i guess im pleasantly surprised that it seems like it's gonna have that much depth to it.

(and if i'm right doesn't that just emphasise how it's less of a sex thing and more of a power thing for bison? he's not doing it exclusively to get off, it's obviously more than that for him.)

but also the look on kant's face makes me think that the ppl who said that bdsm isn't necessarily kant's thing but that he goes along with it bc it's what bison wants were right. which is so interesting to me, i cannot wait to see how that shakes out.

im kinda losing steam but fadelstyle truly made my brain itch this episode . i feel like i understand style way better bc i too want to chase fadel down and pin him in a corner and break him just to see what'll come out of him. i bet its real soft and real weird and might make me cry a little bit. i bet fadel would also cry. i bet he might need to real bad.

[aajjks]

Gurl I have one!

It was 4 or 5 years ago. Me and the fam moved here in the countryside where my mom was raised. I met him at school here. He was clever, a gentleman, unique guy. He ain't a heart rob or the handsomest guy like those fics or what. He's a humble guy and acts very distinguishing from others, and really everybody can tell that. Especially that time when we made puppets and geometrical costumes. He was like a kid, mesmerized. 😭 He has a very different perspective about the world which I learned so many from him, he is a very matured leader and a friend for anybody. Even the teachers like him for being a good student. Yea his kinda a bit popular since he's a student here for a very long time. Everybody knows him, he doesn't interact or like to interact with everybody as much but he's kind. He's an omnivert. We're in the same class and eventually became really good friends. We started became friends, interacted more since he's top of the class and I go second from him. At first I got this toxic trait where I'm used to being on top and didn't accept the fact that I gon second from him, but he made me realized things. Like I've said, he's been a really good model. He gave away such a contribution to my maturity. And he's a family keeper, he cherishes his family so much, especially the elders.

I did so many toxic things at the very first year I came to this school 😭, like pretending I'm rich, and went far by telling my what so called 'friends' that the woman who drives me up to school (my mom) is my maid. And those memories, made me hate myself so much. So so much and I regret it, tho my mom never knew, but even so I hated myself for it, up until now apparently. But then I decided to tell the truth, to my real friends that I owe honesty. They surprisingly understood me, tho not all of them but I'm glad I tried clearing things up. But when I told him about it, he understood me so much, surprisingly even. But of course he didn't tolerate me, he educated me in a nice way and made me feel at ease since I couldn't think straight and I was crying. I'm easily to cry. And he defended me to those bullies who eventually new the truth before I even confess. I could hear them gossiping at my back, harshly teasing me and embarrassing me infront of other people. But he handled those matter very maturely and told me to not waste my time and tears for it.

We do have in common, like films and foods and stuffs, but we liked to participate quizzes/quiz bees and board games. He actually introduced me to board games especially Scrabble, and I introduced him to participate the school's quizzes since mostly they needed a paired participants. Thanks to him, I've met, compete and made good friends on the higher levels and college students. I once got jealous at the japanese girl who's also a student here for a long time, when his friends starts teasing him that he got a crush on her. I don't know if I was eaten by jealousy or what but I really do think she is just playing with him. She liked attention, and especially liked it when everybody knew he liked her. I heard many stories of her being a plastic fake friend, but she's different towards me. She's actually nice to me. Gave me small gifts during events and even praised me for my body, my waist when one time we hugged. So I couldn't hate her totally.

One night he chatted me why I'm still up this late and told him I'm reviewing for the upcoming exam. It was weird for him to check me up like that so I ask if there's a problem. "𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘪𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘳", he typed. And there he told me. That he's been feeling sad, depressed for a couple of days, but that time, it became severe which he cannot sleep with it. I let him continued. It was 𝘩𝘦𝘳 birthday, and they all visited her including him. They two got out to buy some food for her visitors, they held hands and he said he was happy and proud of it. They came back and the suprise was made. She was too happy, and he was happy too. They were all having fun, laughter around the house, but then the afternoon, they felt silence, sadness and fear where they couldn't comprehend. He said they all felt it, and he, he doesn't know why he's sad. This is what he chatted, copy pasted it;

"𝘞𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘵 𝘪𝘵."

"𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘪 𝘥𝘶𝘯𝘯𝘰 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘪 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘴𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘥."

"𝘐𝘴 𝘪𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 ****. 𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘸𝘦𝘪𝘳𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶."

"𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘪'𝘮 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘦𝘳."

"𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥."

"𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸."

"𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘪, 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘨𝘰 𝘧𝘢𝘳 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦. 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘈𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘢."

"𝘍𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴. 𝘞𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳."

"𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦."

"𝘚𝘦𝘦."

"𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘢𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨."

I felt something heavy inside my chest. And I don't know if it is because he confessed that he is going far away, or is it because of his love for her. But I know that time I wasn't jealous, I'm suprise of it, but I was feeling sad. For him leaving or for him to be sad. I understand what he is saying though, I do feel the same way for him. I'm proud whenever I'm with him, to participate games and events, to play, to study, to go to the library. I'm very much happy whenever I see his smiles and laugh, especially if it shows his dimples. It makes me happy that I make him happy. But that didn't matter for me at that time, it was him. So I told him to not overlook the situation. Told him to go and chat with her. That to just love her as he can. I tried comforting him. Morning came,

"𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬𝘴 𝘱𝘢𝘱𝘴."

"𝘏𝘢𝘩𝘢 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘮 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵."

"𝘏𝘪𝘩𝘪~"

Time forward, note that we don't really chat that much. But the day came where he is gonna leave. Them family will be moving. And there I thought, I'm gonna confess to him, now or never. I started of, about how's the packing. Then I ask him that if he could spare me a quick talk. That I was gonna say something. But first, he'll try to promise me that he wouldn't y'know feel disgusted by me, or try to block me like that. Idk why, I feel like I'm demanding him at that way but that wasn't my intention. I was scared at the possibility of my confession, like what if he wouldn't chat me anymore because of that, and what if he'll feel disgusted at me, feel awkward. And he replied:

"𝘠𝘦𝘴, 𝘰𝘧 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦."

"𝘖𝘧 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦, 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘩 𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘦."

"𝘖𝘬𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨."

What.

"𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭."

I ask if somebody had told him, or if it was my friend, or did he knew it from 𝘩𝘦𝘳. Only them two known it. There's a reason why, but back to him.

"𝘜𝘩𝘮, 𝘯𝘰."

"𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴."

"𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶."

"𝘖𝘬𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨."

And there I told him. That I've been fighting myself to tell him this, that I've just got the courage to confess so. Though I was worried, but I'm okay now. I was just scared of the judgement. Of what he'll feel about it or what will happen.

"𝘠𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨, 𝘪 𝘢𝘥𝘮𝘪𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶."

"𝘋𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵, 𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘰𝘬."

"𝘊𝘩𝘪𝘯 𝘶𝘱 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘺 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭. 😊"

I told him that I was also gonna say that I'll be missing him.

"𝘞𝘩𝘰𝘢𝘢, 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘪'𝘮 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰𝘰."

"𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢 𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘯𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘦. 𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘩𝘶𝘩? 𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 **** 𝘐𝘧 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘪 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘸."

That was fine for me. I'm his friend and he needed help that time. But the matter is, still friends?

"𝘞𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘐'𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵, 𝘐 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦. 𝘖𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶."

"𝘖𝘧 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦, 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴. 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶."

"O𝘩 𝘸𝘢𝘪𝘵, 𝘸𝘦'𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘯𝘰𝘸. 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘱𝘢𝘱𝘴. 𝘏𝘦𝘩𝘦 𝘪'𝘮 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶. 𝘛𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘱𝘴."

I thank him for the time and talk, and reminding him that he's suppose to be the one who needs to take care.

"𝘞𝘦𝘭𝘭, 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦. 𝘠𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦! 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘱𝘢𝘱𝘴, 𝘈𝘥𝘪𝘰́𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘯𝘰𝘸. 𝘚𝘦𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯."

Well, all of that happen for 1 year. My first years at the school HAHA, so we're not that deeply friends. And 4 years later, here we are. It's been so long since we chatted but I'm sure that if we ever chatted again, it'll be like just yesterday. That's for sure. And he told us before that he'll be back soon.

So that's it HAHA.

Wow. I’m so scared to like anyone romantically cus I can’t take heartbreak lmao. You’re so strong! I hope you find someone who’ll love you like you deserve to be loved!!? 😭💕

[fartandsoul]

nora 77; bern 70 (because I don't know much about him); everyone (or as many as you know yet if that's too many) 56

im cryin g that u remembered bern even tho i don’t talk about him much???? literlaly the nicest thing ever thank u i owe u my life

77. Favorite insult? Do they insult people often?

omg norah is one of the sweetest people esp to her friends (and a big fan of The Affectionate Use Of Bitch) but if she needs to insult people her go-to is asshole. she doesn’t use it very often but she has minor road rage (and she’s kind of a crazy driver sdlkfjs) so if she’s driving somewhere it gets whipped out

70. Which TV Trope(s) best describes them?

ooo i had to look up the tropes for this bc i don’t know them well but this is cool!!!

i would say for bern:

call to agriculture: “a badass/heroic character retires as a farmer” (not really a farmer but he’s constantly like what if i just…..lived in the woods)

‘thou shalt not kill’ pacifist: “this character recognizes that sometimes violence is necessary. he will try to avoid lethal violence, but if the need is great enough, he will directly kill. he won’t like it, and will almost always have some sort of emotional backlash from it” 

(bern is constantly torn between trying to escape from society and structures but being held there by his strong moral values/need to stand up for people/love for his family and friends)

56. What Hogwarts House would they be in?

this question is surprisingly hard and im dying about it constnatly but here’s everyone i know

gryffindor: bern, allison, angelina

ravenclaw: ellen (?)

hufflepuff: norah, elena

slytherin: susie, leon, henry, tilly (?)

and i REALLY don’t know where graham goes he gives me so much trouble but i love him

[justherefortaylorswift]

there’s glitter on the floor after the party...

Taylor,

*About 9 days ago, on May 22nd, 2018, I had just arrived home from your Seattle show at CenturyLink Field. It was 4am and I couldn’t sleep. I had so much on my mind and was still on a high from your show. So, in the early hours of the morning, after my friends had long gone to bed, I began to write. I’ve revised my original note quite a bit since then. I’ve also had the opportunity to do some additional reflecting since tour, and I have some thoughts. So, I guess this is the end-result of a mash-up of 4AM overly-emotional rambling, combined with well thought-out, fully coherent, mature writing. I feel like I really over-explained this. I could have been a lot less-awkward in setting this up. Let's just get into it:

[SO. I just got home from your Seattle show. It's 4 am and I can't sleep. This was my 6th tour, and I made what seems like an infinite amount of unforgettable memories with a group of incredible people I call my ‘Swiftie Fam” (the name needs work...). There's Cecil (my long-time, Canadian Swiftie friend, you’ll see him in earlier posts), Wanda (Cecil’s wife), Kaeden (7. Cecil & Wanda’s son. Major Swiftie. His first concert!), and finally the beautiful Maile (a recent addition to the fam, and now a life-long friend!).  It’s hard to explain in words, but we all have developed a connection that’s special and unique because of what we experienced together. I couldn’t have asked for a better group of people to stand by my side tonight. We danced, laughed, and cried together… I don’t think I’ve ever felt more understood. These people ‘get’ me.

Not surprisingly, I screamed every single lyric at the top of my lungs and subsequently lost my voice almost IMMEDATIELY. With that in mind, I suppose a more accurate description would be: I wasn’t so much singing, as I was gasping for the remainder of the show. I literally danced with until I was out of breath. I cried (ok, SOBBED) all of my make-up off (a Long Live/NYD mash-up… are you kidding me?! I FEEL ATTACKED). 

By the end of the night, I resembled a pathetic, overly-emotional, glittery, drowned rat.

and I was living my absolute best life.

Also, I was REALLY proud of our outfits this time around! I think we did a decent job of recreating your Direct TV commercial, with my rainbow two-piece, and Cecil’s interpretation of Olivia Benson dressed as a Caticorn (I can’t say I ever thought I’d use that in a sentence). It consisted of around 8-10 hours total of gluing, painting, and hand-sewing, leading up to the show. Everything turned out awesome, way better than expected. Totally worth the man hours! Wanda hand-made matching these adorable matching t-shirts for her and little Kaden (Big Rep & Little Rep), and Maile constructed a beautiful MASTERPIECE from the mountain LYWMMD outfit- it was freakin’ incredible and HOT!

There was something a bit different about this tour for a couple of reasons:

[The production.] I don’t think I’ve experienced such sensory-overload in my LIFE. The whole time it was like a constant stream of frantic, internal dialogue with a lot of run-on sentences, like, “WHAT IS HAPPENING SHE’S GIVING US CHOREO OMG YAAASSS WERK HONEY IF A MAN TALKS SHIT WE DON'T OWE HIM A DAMN THING OH MY GOD ITS RAINING CONFETTI I MUST COLLECT IT I HOPE THESE MULTI-COLORED FLASHING LIGHTS DON’T GIVE ME AN EPILEPTIC ATTACK WHERE THE F-CK DID THESE GIGANTIC SNAKES COME FROM THERE ARE LITERALLY STAGES EVERYWHERE I’M OVERWHELMED OH SHIT SHES PULLING A SPEAK NOW BY WALKING THROUGH THE CROWD WHAT'S GOING ON OH GOD F-CKING FIREWORKS THESE VOCALS ARE LIT THO I'M SWEATING I’M DEFINITELY GONNA NEED THERAPY AFTER THIS NEW YEARS DAY/LONG LIVE MASH UP IS THAT A FOUNTAIN WHATS HAPPENING OH GOD IT’S REAL WATER AND SHE’S IN THE FOUNTAIN I’M HAVING A 2008 SHOULD’VE SAID NO ACM AWARDS FLASHBACK MOMENT HOLY SH-T MORE F-CKING FIREWORKS SO MUCH PYRO IS THIS EVEN LEGAL” I’ve gotta say, you have BEST band (Paul, Amos and Mike..OGS), vocalists (Eliott and Kamilah…the TALENT), and all the dancers. Every single person on that stage was on FIRE, and their talent, passion, and individual personalities made the night sparkle.

[The fans.] I freaking adore this fan culture. I’ve never met a Swiftie who wasn’t ridiculously friendly, welcoming, and super relatable. The vibe was so positive. I’ve never smiled, waved and taken pictures with so many random strangers in my life. It felt as if we were literally in a different world that day. It felt like home.

[YOU!.]  We need to talk about this major GLO UP you’ve got going on, honey. You exude SO much confidence and you're just pure sunshine. When I think about the way you’ve carried yourself these past couple of years through all of the BS drama, I can’t help but feel damn proud. You’ve successfully converted pain into art, into music. Real music, that’s poignant, raw, and just BAD ASS. Your lyrics continue to foster a special connection you maintain with the audience...a connection that often times breathes life into brokenness.

I felt like the luckiest girl in the entire world tonight. 

This may have been my best concert experience ever, which is actually pretty ironic because:

Unlike Red, I wasn’t in the Pit

I didn’t have VIP seating, like 1989

You weren’t close enough for any potential high fives, waves, or eye contact like I experienced at Speak Now at B-Stage

We were not chosen for Rep Room (or T-Party, Club Red, or Loft 89)

…But, it was OK. It was way more than OK. It was truly a dream.

Listen: Something I've always deeply admired about you is that you make it a priority to maintain a personal relationship with the fans.  It’s clear you want to meet as many of us as possible, and you make a conscious effort to do so. You get to know us as individuals and you CARE, and that means everything us and makes such an impact. I mean, you invite us into your HOME for crying out loud, you walk through massive crowds and give high-fives, you lurk our Instagrams and Tumblrs and interact on social media, and you always make a notable effort to meet as many of us as possible at tour.

However, this can sometimes turn into a bit of a "Catch 22" situation for people. The downside, is that it’s honestly SUPER easy to fall into the “trap” of being consumed with the possibility of meeting you after your shows. Due to the fact that the “selection” process is both intentional, yet also random. To be transparent, it's quite difficult to not obsess with the idea of ‘trying’ to get chosen. I witness this behavior so often, in others and in myself just as much, if not more. Selfishly, I often feel not only jealous, but UPSET when I see photos/read experiences of other fans meeting you. I sometimes feel like the only one who hasn’t yet gotten the opportunity.  It can quickly turn into a mind-game if you're not careful, which has the potential to become toxic if we allow the idea of meeting you to rule supreme over what it's actually about...which is the MUSIC. And, this amazing show you put on for us night after night. And somewhat understandably so, I've witnessed the obsession with being chosen to meet you become a main focus point for a lot of us (including myself a bit!). It's pretty stressful, and can easily dampen or cheapen the concert experience, if you're not careful. As dramatic as this probably sounds, Tumblr (and social media) can be brutal within this fandom, and dare I say ‘cut-throat’ at times. It's easy to get upset watching (what seems like) literally EVERYONE get that opportunity, except you. 

That said, I had a wake-up call/mini-epiphany recently, which manifested while driving home from your show at Midnight on May 22nd with my friends, feeling so amazing and so grateful for what I just experienced…but also a little guilty because I feel like I’ve spent way too much time worrying about the possibility of meeting at you when you come to Seattle, how to get the attention of Taylor Nation, where to find Mama Swift, getting that guitar pick from Papa Swift, and this time was no different. Granted, my intentions are 100% pure and it’s only because you’ve meant so freakin much to me for so many years, and it's almost as if my life won’t be complete until I finally get to tell you in person. That said, there is certainty a valuable lesson to be learned here. I am confident that you and I will come face-to-face one day (hopefully with my Swifie fam!). The stars will align at the exactly the right time, and I will have my moment with you, and it will be SO worth the wait. You can't "force" stuff like this, you know? The privilege of meeting you is almost ‘sacred’ in a sense. At least in my opinion. Anyway, my point is: I refuse to a continue to attempt to “create fate” by attempting to "earn" my worthiness in fandom. It’s not productive, it's not healthy, and it’s not cute.

Alright, this is getting out of hand. I need to wrap this up. 🤣 I’m not sure whether or not you’ve seen any of my throwback photo-posts I posted the week leading up to the show. They definitely explain a lot more about me, and my history being a fan. Either way, I must reiterate how grateful I am to have you in my life, and that support you 100% and will always be here. The amount of hope, joy and comfort you've given me over the past 10+ years is insurmountable, and I'll never be able to repay you for that. And I mean that in the most sincere way. Not a lot of things make me as happy as you make me (especially lately). This experience was the ‘boost’ I needed, I think. And like I said, the relationship I have with my friends/Swiftie Fam is invaluable, and I look forward to making memories with them at your shows in the future. You’ve brought the most random group of people together and created a bond that’s unique, unconditional and unbreakable, and I think that’s so cool.

This was A LOT longer than I originally intended it to be. This escalated quickly. Haha. Thanks for listening. 💗

Don’t read the last page…]

Love you, T

Crystal

@taylorswift

@taylornation

@ceunit

@maileswiftie

[photos]:  1) The whole crew: Cecil, Wanda, Kaeden, Maile and myself at our seats. 2) Kaeden the night before the show. SO EXCITED!! 3) Testing out the Caticorn onesie w/ Cecil 4) Cecil and myself FULLY DECKED and ready to go. 5) Wanda and Kaeden: Big Rep & Lil’ Rep! 6) the girls! Maile, Wanda and Me pre-show 7) Us at the end of the show! And yes, that’s me in the middle..in disbelief, exhausted, sweaty, and a physical and emotional wreck (see also: ‘drowned rat’ description above). 8) All of us after the show literally in a hotel lobby (and glitter on the floor after the party!), waiting for traffic to die down before we headed home.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Can we talk? Jimmy: Meant to be my line I thought Jimmy: In your text you said Janis: I know, my bad Janis: Can you be ready to talk now, I guess Jimmy: Depends what you wanna say Janis: Okay, shit Janis: not thought that far ahead Janis: sorry, obviously Jimmy: Alright Janis: It ain't though Janis: it wasn't Jimmy: It's words Jimmy: Same as what I did Jimmy: Not enough and too much, like Jimmy: Nowt more than can be said probably Janis: Nah, that's not true Janis: it's not just words Janis: but I don't know where to begin with showing you I'm sorry, tell me and I will Jimmy: I can't tell you anything else Jimmy: That's what fucked it all up Janis: No, that was me Janis: I did that Janis: it wasn't what you said, that's not what's wrong here Jimmy: What then? Jimmy: You fancied a run Janis: I was just scared Janis: but that's not your fault Janis: and it's fucked you got caught in that mess Jimmy: You think I wasn't scared to finally say it out loud? Jimmy: I'm always scared Janis: I know Janis: just less scared on this one Janis: not much of a victory but Jimmy: Don't remember accepting that challenge as well Jimmy: You think you know, but you don't, you can't get it or you wouldn't have disappeared on me like that Janis: No, I know I don't Janis: I can't explain why I did it Janis: I knew it'd hurt but I thought it'd save more in the long run but I still regretted it, straight away, whilst I was doing it Jimmy: That's not your choice to make Jimmy: I put myself out there for you 'cause it hurt more being fake Jimmy: I love you if you do or not and that's for me to deal with Janis: I do Janis: I know I fucked up, on every level I could Janis: it was on me for reckoning I could punish myself and you wouldn't be hurt too Jimmy: I know Jimmy: I don't need to hear it to be told. Not that much of a dickhead Jimmy: But if you can't trust me it doesn't fucking matter Janis: I do trust you, have for ages Janis: It's me I've got the issue with Jimmy: Not when you were scared Jimmy: You could've just told me I freaked you out Janis: I thought that'd be worse Janis: at the time Janis: obviously looking back, like Jimmy: We've talked about heavier stuff Janis: but all I wanted to say, meant to say Janis: was it back Janis: but then I couldn't so what else could I? Jimmy: I didn't say it to get it back Jimmy: I just wanted you to know before you left Jimmy: 'Cause I've wanted to say it for ages, and didn't. Couldn't Janis: I know but Janis: fuck, it just made me feel like i was back at the begining again, square 1 Janis: 'cos who can't just fucking say three words, jesus Jimmy: Me. Plenty of times Jimmy: Didn't have to take me with you to square 1 with you, like Janis: I'm stupid Janis: and a dick Janis: long and short of it Jimmy: Same Janis: No you're not Janis: you're surprisingly normal all things considered Jimmy: Alright, but so are you for someone with 10 siblings who lives in trackies Janis: You still reckon Janis: really Jimmy: Can't turn it off Jimmy: I've tried, mate, I really have Janis: oh Janis: you want to Jimmy: If you're gonna fuck off again then Janis: thought about it, won't lie Janis: but i got some pretty resounding nahs and solid advice otherwise so Jimmy: Too late for me to add one? Janis: not to diss the others but Janis: only one that really matters, like Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: Stay about Janis: Done Janis: anything else? Jimmy: Depends where you are Janis: Dunno if Grace's pity socials fooled you, but my social life isn't all that wild rn Janis: my bedroom's never been so familiar, like Jimmy: Come and find me and I'll know it's not just words, won't I Janis: serious? Janis: alright Janis: i look how i feel and that's fair warning Janis: give you a chance to do the runner though Jimmy: Funny Jimmy: Unless you went to a piss poor Spanish surgeon you still look like you Jimmy: that's all I'm bothered about Janis: I didn't go that ham with the ✂ Janis: tempting as it is to distance myself from the bitch #idontknowher Jimmy: Good Jimmy: It's more tempting for me to never let you leave #whichsoundedlesscreepyinmyhead Janis: 😂 Janis: it's cool, i like it Janis: and i don't want to Jimmy: I don't want to have to miss you like that again Janis: I can't promise you that you won't have to ever again Janis: and it's just words, yeah? Janis: but watch me show up every day, hold me to it Jimmy: I will Jimmy: Twix too Janis: 'course Janis: know she misses me Jimmy: Unbearably Jimmy: Been getting on the table for the good acoustics to howl Jimmy: Tempted to join her but don't have the lungs Jimmy: #antismokingad Janis: awh Janis: poor baby Jimmy: 💔's a bitch. I told her Jimmy: Didn't wanna listen Janis: I can imagine the side-eye Janis: I'd let her know it was my bad but don't wanna break it anew, like Jimmy: Yeah, quality it was Jimmy: She'll probably just run. Lot of that going about Janis: Ow but fair Janis: get her on that short leash like Jimmy: You and her both Jimmy: 😂 Janis: Steady 😏 Jimmy: Sorry Jimmy: But like, not Janis: I missed you Jimmy: One time it probably shouldn't be a competition, but fuck it, I missed you more Jimmy: 😏 Janis: Nah Jimmy: You reckon you can beat me when you haven't yet? Janis: You reckon Imma play SO nice that you can just have it? Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: Still me, babe Janis: said you wanted that Jimmy: Not THAT mad about it Janis: Good Janis: wouldn't be you if you weren't a LITTLE bit still Jimmy: 😎 Janis: if you're rocking yours i get to wear mine Jimmy: I'll take as many layers off you as you want Janis: damn Janis: okay Jimmy: Just words again like but Janis: awkward Janis: don't wanna have to tell everyone ur a cocktease but Jimmy: Come here to me then Jimmy: I'm at work but I suddenly feel the need to go home sick Janis: okay Janis: i'll keep enough distance that it's not any more obvious to poor old manager mark Janis: the glass front ain't hiding no thang Jimmy: I couldn't care less now Jimmy: I've gone too long without getting to see you Janis: I feel it Janis: can go back to the barn, make up for lost time Jimmy: Good thing I'm so well practiced at not being spotted 'cause yeah Janis: Well Janis: give you chance to work on it, mate Jimmy: Challenge accepted Jimmy: I'll show you 💪🏆 Janis: Just me tho Janis: that's the challenge 😘 Jimmy: Done Janis: been walking and talking Janis: there in five Jimmy: Good Jimmy: Been enough waiting Janis: all your nan fans gonna have to wait Janis: soz brenda 🤷 Jimmy: She'll be fuming Janis: you've handled worse Jimmy: Yep Jimmy: Practiced at dealing with the fans now too Janis: good Janis: 'cos i'm #1, naturally Jimmy: 💕