#(not fully her fault - or anyone's except their dead bad dad if you really get into it - but it sounds funny when you phrase it like that)

[brionysea]

i think that was the first time i wrote a "giving the characters a Problem for the purpose of Sibling Bonding" fic where they actually came up with a solution by the end. dick grayson's older sibling skills are so powerful

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 292: You Say Jeans

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “well anyway here’s that Touya reveal I foreshadowed like a million years ago, viva la 2020.” Dabi was all “hello world, I’ve killed 30 people and today I’m going to explain to you all why” before he proceeded to explain ABSOLUTELY NOTHING but everyone was so distracted by his tale of child abuse and hero conspiracies that they didn’t much seem to notice. Can’t Ya See-Kun’s Shark Friend was all “IS THIS THE END OF HERO SOCIETY AS WE KNOW IT”, and Horikoshi was all “STAY TUNED”, and then Dabi set himself on fire and leaped off of Machia’s back like the chaotic evil, I-just-bleached-all-my-brain-cells weird little fire man he is, ready to burn everyone to crispy bits before they could even react properly to his whole big revenge speech. Fortunately he did not succeed on account of THE RETURN OF THE JING, THE JOAT, BEST FUCKING JEANIST, back from the dead by popular demand in what critics are calling “the best fucking comeback since Jesus himself.”

Today on BnHA: Best Jeanist snatches up Machia and the rest of the League with his fiber steel cables before you can say “more like BEAST JEANIST amirite.” Dabi gets all worked up and lights Hadou on fire which is a real JERK MOVE, and is all “THIS RIGHT HERE IS ALSO ENDEAVOR’S FAULT”, which, NOT SUPER CONVINCED ON THAT, BUT OKAY. Anyway so then he burns up all the cables holding him which is crazeballs btw, and then he and Shouto start fighting, and so basically the whole thing is a literal hot mess and we’ll see how that goes. Meanwhile Tomura wakes up and summons some Noumus, and poor Jeanist has to deal with those on top of the still-attempting-to-rampage Gigantomachia, and everyone else is all “we can’t help you on account of we’re all half dead”, and so it’s looking really bad. And then -- and I can’t stress enough how much I don’t even have the faintest idea how to segue into this next part -- the chapter ends with Mirio!?! just sort of POPPING UP OUT OF THE GROUND all, “SURPRISE, BITCH”, and it literally was so surprising that I am still just kind of speechless. WELL-PLAYED, I GUESS, lol wtf.

lol okay so the first page in the RHA scan is just the “three musketeers” movie promo image that we all already saw a few days ago. but it does confirm that (a) it is indeed a movie, and (b) that it’s set for a summer 2021 release! how exciting

okay so now back to our special Dabi edition of Making a Murderer

“ray of hope” oh hell yes. SAVE US MR. JEANIST

I guess he had a TV in his private hero jet or something?

gotta say, “dammit Dabi” does not even remotely sound like Authentic Best Jeanist Dialogue to me though. gonna need Caleb to see to this. well but what do you guys think? does Best Jeanist curse?? I personally feel like he’s one of those guys who NEVER EVER swears no matter what, except under the most hilariously trifling circumstances. like he’s eating an avocado one day and he accidentally stains the cuffs of his beloved jostume green and he’s all “FUCK”

btw how fucking rich is Best Jeanist though that he has his own fucking plane? the thought just suddenly occurred to me, you know? like even Endeavor, whose agency has its own on-site luxury apartment suites for all of his interns, still drives around in a dinky little car that Bakugou has declared to be too small. which, I guess we know why he felt that way now, seeing as the guy he previously interned with apparently gets around in Jeans Force One

anyway so back to the part where Jeanist shows up to save the day!! YEAH JEANIST WOOOOO

ILU JEANIST YOU REALLY ARE THE BEST!! HUGS AND KISSES!!!

lmao we just saw Gigantomachia take out like a hundred guys not ten chapters ago. and Best Jeanist shows up and takes him down in like two seconds. HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES LEAGUE OF VILLAINS. BET YOU’RE WISHING YOU’D TAKEN HIS QUIRK NOW, AFO. GET FUCKED YOU OLD SPUD

KACCHAN IS SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM AWW

SIDE NOTE, IIDA, YOU AND I ARE GONNA HAVE WORDS LATER ABOUT YOU ACTUALLY AGREEING TO PUT HIM BACK DOWN. YOU DO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS CHILD IS STILL DRIPPING BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE FROM HIS MULTIPLE STAB WOUNDS, RIGHT? WAY TO ASSERT YOUR AUTHORITY THERE. I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE CLASS PRESIDENT NOT THE CLASS CLOWN, COME ON NOW

LMAO DABI IS FRANTICALLY TRYING TO DO THE PLOT MATH

SHOULDA CHECKED MORE CLOSELY MY GOOD MARK. LOOKS LIKE YOU MISSED THE ��MADE IN CHINA” STICKER ON THE BOTTOM. YOU HAVE BEEN BAMBOOZLED. OR ACTUALLY, I GUESS THE MORE ACCURATE WORD HERE IS JAMBOOZLED, AHAHAHAHA. JEANS

HOLY SHIT DABI

I legit almost thought that was Tomura for a second. you two look so alike now with the white hair and the crazy eyes

meanwhile, Shouto is still crying and it’s a lot to take, you guys. lotta feels

ffff come on Jeanist you better do something awesome again here, the mood of the chapter is starting to slip now

YES, GOOD, THAT’LL WORK

WELL YOU TELL ME, SPINNER. I GUESS THAT MEANS BEST JEANIST IS OFFICIALLY THE STRONGEST CHARACTER IN THE SERIES NOW. SORRY I DON’T MAKE THE RULES

ffff now Spinner is trying to wake Tomura back up. nah, how’s about we not do that

OH MY GOD HADOU YESSSS

MY GIRL OUT HERE WITH THE “NO THANK YOU” BOUT TO CURBSTOMP THE BIG BAD WITH HER QUIRK KSFHLKLK WHO HERE HAD “HADOU SAVES THE DAY” ON YOUR WAR ARC BINGO CARDS, YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!!

HEY!!!!

fucking son of a... fffkfkff... someone please reassure me that fire isn’t Hadou’s weakness. someone. anyone. also could someone please dial an ambulance and send them to Horikoshi’s house. but not just yet. first I’m gonna need you to wait about fifteen minutes or so while I take care of some things

well all right then, Dabi. so you wanna go on then and explain to us all how this, too, is somehow Endeavor’s fault?

oh I see, you’ve decided that since he’s responsible for “creating” you, everyone you hurt and kill is in truth really being hurt and killed by him! well now, that sure is convenient as fuck I guess

(ETA: that’s a nice effect with the panel sides getting all warped by Dabi’s quirk though, just noticed that.)

amazing how quickly you used up that sympathy card my guy. Shouto please kick his ass, I’m fucking done lol, you can all sort out the rest in therapy later

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE DIAL BACK DEKU’S EMPATHY STATS JUST A LITTLE BIT, HOLY --

“TODOROKI-KUN IS HURT THE MOST”, HE SAYS, WITH HIS ARM BONES SHATTERED INTO LITTLE TOOTHPICK-SIZED PIECES. I MEAN, HE’S PROBABLY TALKING MORE ABOUT MENTAL ANGUISH GIVEN THE CONTEXT HERE, BUT STILL. THAT’S ENOUGH HEROICS FROM YOU ALREADY FOR ONE DAY

NOOO JEANIST

LOTS OF SMOKE IN THE AIR RIGHT ABOUT NOW AND MY BOY’S STILL DOWN A LUNG. GOD DAMMIT

“if the number one suffers a total loss here, this country will fall to pieces” well okay, real talk though, I think the “country falling to pieces” part is pretty much unavoidable at this juncture. you all are just gonna have to try your best to pick up those pieces after the fact and see what you can do with them. if I were you I’d be less worried about the number one’s reputation and more concerned with the half-dozen child soldier interns who are still on the field and very much at risk of being burned to death should you suffer that “total loss.” please try to keep it together here for them

OH FOR FUCK’S

I really thought RockLockRock was gonna come into play here. USE YOUR QUIRK TO LOCK THE ROPES IN PLACE YOU DIP!! if he seriously just sits there and does nothing when his quirk could be the deciding factor I am cancelling his useless ass cute kid or no cute kid shfkjdls

(ETA: is he even there?? did he and Manual just hightail it out of there?? “well good luck, children.”)

also, we’ll put this aside for now to perhaps speculate about later, but what’s with Tomura remembering his dad’s house yet again in that far right panel?? and being itchy again?? I still have yet to fully work out the psychological mechanisms at work as far as his itchiness goes, so I’ll admit this is intriguing to me. it seemed like it was connected to his decay quirk, but then why is it acting up again now. what is this lol

yuh oh

forgot about these guys. looks like these heroes aren’t having such a fun time

oh fucksticks

excuse me ma’am but I don’t like this. you do know that my kids are all there, right. all burnt and impaled and broken-boned and the like. well except for Iida. he’s fine still. BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN I FEEL LIKE WATCHING HIM GET TORN APART BY FOUR HIGH ENDS, WTF

HORIKOSHI YOU MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR TO GOD

god fucking... okay look. Horikoshi. you win, okay!? congratulations, you win, this is your show and we’re all just sitting here at your mercy. fine. go ahead and just kill off everyone ever, then!! what am I even gonna do about it. stop reading?? fuck

this whole thing really went from zero to fucked before I could even blink huh. I really thought this was gonna be a turning point chapter for the heroes. shows what I know I guess??

meanwhile this motherfucker is just SCREAMING

ngl, if I wasn’t currently terrified on account of things suddenly taking such a drastic turn for the worse, this would be the coolest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. Jeanist my man, I hype you up like it’s my job because you are the greatest fucking meme character in the history of time, but make no mistake, you are also highkey WORTH ALL THE HYPE AND THEN SOME

seriously, though. don’t fucking mind him you guys, he’s just standing here in the coolest pose of all time taking on Gigantomachia all alone with one fucking lung because the substance pumping through his veins is COLD-BLOODED LIQUID DENIM, and DENIM FEELS NO FEAR

Best Jeanist really needs to get his own theme song. -- oh my god I just finally thought of a title for this post. lmao and it’s the dumbest thing. omg

MEANWHILE THE TODOROKI BROS ARE OFF IN THEIR OWN DRAMATIC LITTLE FIRE WORLD

which one do you think is the Mario and which is the Luigi. well, but I mean, Dabi clearly thinks that he’s the Luigi though and that’s why he’s so mad. nobody wants to be Luigi. what a life

THAT’S IT, SHOUTO!! POINT OUT ALL OF HIS HYPOCRITICAL BULLSHIT, I WANT ANSWERS

JUST TO CLARIFY, IT’S THAT NATSU, NOT SOME OTHER NATSU!! SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF!!

OH, WELL IN THAT CASE

BUT OF COURSE. THAT WOULD MAKE IT ALL WORTHWHILE, holy shit. okay I’m just gonna go ahead and say it, Dabi is a piece of work. I really thought this arc would make him more sympathetic at long last, but it seems like it’s doing just the opposite?? this is like an anti-redemption arc. I don’t relish the thought of venturing into the fandom tags once I finish reading this lol

(ETA: well folks, I’ve done it. and actually it was pretty interesting because there are apparently like ten different things that people are mad about, and so it’s like. each post is a new adventure lmao.)

so Shouto is all “BRUH HAVE YOU COMPLETELY LOST IT” and Dabi is all “YES”, basically? like, he says he’s completely lost his feeling for anything. omg. but you were so sweet. how does that even happen

“finally I can kill you” okay for real what the heck is your damage bro?? can we not. I like Shouto just the way he is, un-killed

oh shit and now the Noumus are here

cue Bakugou diving in to save his mentor, STAB WOUNDS BE DAMNED!! actually it would make more sense for it to be Iida, but if Kacchan is really fixin’ to go full Shounen Dumbass here then he might as well go all out, y’know

-- unless of course, Deku decides to activate another quirk??

“last I checked, the main character of this series was still me” OH? WELL I SUPPOSE THAT IS TRUE, SO PRAY TELL, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT LEFT UP YOUR SLEEVE YOU SUICIDAL BRUSSELS SPROUT

fucking love how he’s all “HAHAHA WITH MY NEW QUIRKS I CAN STILL DO STUPID SHIT EVEN WITH MY ARMS AND LEGS GROUND TO A FINE POWDER” btw. what can I say. Deku gonna Deku

FMMFHDKUHK W H A T

HOLY SHIT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. WHAT THE WHAT. QUE THE FUCK

(ETA: okay look, all the love in the world to the brave scanlators who take time out of their lives to translate the leaks every week just so we can read the chapter a couple of days early like the addicts we are. that said, translating Mirio’s signature “POWER!!” -- which was already written in English in the original scan -- to “POG-CHAMP” is just a whole new level of wtfuckery from them lmao. is the Lida person back at it again?? amazing.)

MIRIO!?!?! SHOWS UP TO SAVE THE DAY?!?! POGS HIMSELF UP OUT THE GROUND TO BEAT THE NOUMUS LIKE IT AIN’T NO THING. JUST LIKE WE ALL PREDICTED!? I’M SORRY, DID YOU NOT SEE THAT COMING?? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOUR DAILY HOROSCOPE FROM ASTROLOGY DOT COM DIDN’T HAVE THAT ONE IN THE CARDS?? WAS IT NOT OBVIOUS?? TODOROKIS PLUS BEST JEANIST EQUALS MIRIO??

hot damn. Tintin really saw the writing on the wall with the impending Dabi Discourse and was all “NOT SO FAST” lmao. “HERE’S A BRAND NEW THING FOR YOU ALL TO DISCOURSE ABOUT” MIRIO YOU WILD CHILD. YOU GLORIOUS THUG

MEANWHILE LET’S NOT FORGET WHAT MIRIO HAVING HIS POWERS BACK ACTUALLY IMPLIES. HOLY SHIT. SUDDENLY WE CUT BACK TO ALL MIGHT’S OFFICE, ALL THE WAY BACK AT UA. ERI BRANDISHES HER TOKOYAMI-GIFTED BUSTER SWORD, A DETERMINED GLEAM IN HER EYE. “I HEARD YOU WERE TRYING TO HAVE A GIRL POWER ARC WITHOUT ME.” OH. MY. GOD

[pointy-hat-witch]

My gift for @smol-fatale for the @fyeahbnha secret santa event!! I had lots of fun writing it! Hope you enjoy it! I never wrote a ShinKami fic so I hope I did them justice! :)

Title: Hot Stuff Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia Word count: 7233 words Summary:  In which Shinsou’s Christmas Miracle happens in form of a broken stove and an electrician.

You can also read it on AO3! :)

Shinsou was, generally speaking, a loner by choice, mind you. He enjoyed his own company, living at his own pace. So, when Midoriya slowly but steadily made himself a presence in his life, he initially didn’t notice. And by the time he did, it was already too late.

Together with Uraraka, Midoriya’s almost-sorta-girlfriend(?), they moved into a three bed-room-apartment rather close to their uni. Every now and then, Shinsou asked himself how it ended up like that but whenever he thought about it, he reached to the conclusion that he didn’t really mind, after all. He found these friends, or rather they found him and now they’re his family.

Well, until moments like these.

Shinsou came home from one of his late lectures, and it was already dark outside which was no surprise for mid-december anyway. Because he was hungry, the lecture dragged on as it was and his last meal had been some time ago, he just wanted to fix himself a fast meal and watch a movie before passing out.

So, when he came home he first noticed the silence, the eerie silence. After around a year and half living with friends, he was fluent in reading the atmosphere, that was why he knew something was up. He was certain that Midoriya and Uraraka should be home already and that they hadn’t anything planned for tonight.

“Hello?” He patiently half-shouted into their apartment from their entry hall as he slipped out of his shoes. There was a shuffle in the kitchen and some muffled voices. Something was definitely amiss. Shinsou sighed.

Preparing himself mentally, he left his bag where it was, put on his slippers and slowly made his way toward the kitchen. He didn’t sneak up or anything but when he appeared in the door, both Uraraka and Midoriya jumped up as if he was Satan himself. They pressed their shoulders together, standing as rigid as humanly possible and their faces, hh god, Shinsou would have cracked at least a smile if his gut didn’t say something was awfully wrong.

“W-w-w-what’s up, Shinsou? Home already, huh? Kinda thought you would have come a little later, like you know, you could have gotten a coffee because it’s so late and you would have taken a bus later or even walked, so we didn’t really thought you would be-“ Midoriya continued babbling but Shinsou already zoned out, staring neutrally over to Uraraka.

And, oh, Uraraka. “Why on earth don’t you breathe?” Shinsou interrupted Midoriya as he slowly squinted at her round cheeks, her eyes almost bulging out.

“Baaaah!“ Uraraka pushed out all of her breath she held in and then took a deep breath afterward.

“Sorry, ahhh,” she whined, fanning herself, “I was getting so nauseous and just had to.”

“Why did you feel nauseous?” Shinsou’s voice cut through the air that was as thick as butter.

“Uhhhh,” Midoriya and Uraraka looked at each other in panic but after a couple of silent seconds exhaled defeatedly. Whatever it was, they couldn’t keep him in the dark forever. They each took a step to the side, moving away from each other to show him the disaster.

“What am I looking at, guys?” Shinsou asked, fully aware of what he was looking at. But he needed them to say it.

“We, uh,” Uraraka gesticulated wildly without saying anything, looking at every possible thing in the room except Shinsou and that. Shinsou’s gaze wandered over to Midoriya who’s shoulders were perched up, elbows close to his body while mumbling inconceivable into one of his hands.

“Guys.” Shinsou sighed. “Just, what happened?”

“We wanted to make dinner,” Uraraka whined, “for you, you know? Mondays are bad as they are and you have a full day of classes so we thought we could, uh, make you dinner.”

Midoriya nodded, his hair bobbing with the motion. “And we just got started, like prepping and we needed flour for the batter and it-“

“It just,” Uraraka threw her arms in the air, “the glass container just slipped through my fingers.”

“And fell on the stove.”

“And fell on the stove.”

“And fell on the stove.” Shinsou mumbled, nodding solemnly. Yeah, this was his chosen family. Smashing their ceramic stove plate with a glass of flour. He stared at the abomination. The cupboard right next to the stove was a little higher than usual, so Uraraka had probably stood on her toes to reach the glass and it must have bounced off her arm right in the middle of the stove plate, smashing it into pieces. Everywhere black shards. Leaving the stove irreparable.

“Did you get hurt?” Shinsou asked as he kneeled down to pick up some of the bigger pieces.

“No!” They both shook their heads.

“Then that’s all that matters.” Complaining about spilled milk wouldn’t do neither of them any good. He knew it was an accident, shit happens.

“We’re sorry, Shinsou.”

Shinsou blinked and looked up. Both Uraraka and Midoriya looked at the floor, Uraraka fighting off tears and Midoriya balling his hands into fists.

Yeah, those were his family. If he would have been still with his blood relatives they- no. Shinsou didn’t think about that anymore.

Shinsou shook his head, almost smiling fondly. “Don’t worry about it. You didn’t get hurt, so it doesn’t matter. We can just order food.”

Averting another disaster, as Uraraka and Midoriya looked like they wanted to jump on him to smother him with their affection, Shinsou got them to help him clean up the kitchen, before they ordered food, which his friends paid for, and watched a movie until he passed out.

He woke up the next morning with his blanket thrown over him and he indulged himself for another five minutes, snuggling into the heavy blanket. But, alas, even though he only had two classes in the afternoon, he had some homework from the day before, so he had to get up eventually. And the earlier the better.

When he got up, he noticed a small piece of paper on the couch table with his name neatly written on.

Curious, he picked it up and unfolded it.

 “Dear Shinsou,

we hope you slept well. You looked like you were dead at least.. Sorry again for the stove. Please call the landlord about it. He likes you.

Love,

Your besties!!”

 Shinsou couldn’t decide whom of them he wanted to strangle first. Letting out a silent groan, Shinsou let himself fall back onto the couch, staring up at the ceiling. Today was an even more low energy day than usual, so the thought about calling someone was already taking a toll on him.

They all knew, Aizawa wouldn’t yell at them or anything. He was the best landlord you could get, honestly. Not they often, say, smash their stove plate but if they needed anything done in their apartment he would get it done in a few days. Sometimes, he even just came over to talk and check in if they’re alright, studying and working and all that.

And Shinsou and he may or may not clicked right from the start. They both were low-tension, didn’t talk around the bush and didn’t need to tiptoe around each other. If he could choose, Shinsou kind of wanted to have him as a dad. But that was something he would ever say out loud.

Still, why he needed to call him was beyond him. 

He searched around for his phone blindly, not bothering looking away from the ceiling. When he finally found it, his finger scrolled through his contacts, their landlord a commonly called number. Shinsou sighed. He dialed.

“What did they do now?��� Aizawa’s voice was gruff, probably only just gotten out of bed himself, for what Shinsou felt a little guilty. They both didn’t like talking on the phone, but both his roommates and his spouse were notorious in getting them to do it.

“They broke the stove plate.” He cut right to the chase.

“They did what now?”

“Dropped a glass on it. Smashed it.”

“They smashed the-,” Aizawa mumbled in disbelief to himself.

“Do you have an electrician or a company you use for stuff like that? I can call them. And we pay, of course. Our fault.”

“Their fault,” Aizawa pointed out, “but yeah. I know someone. I’ll give them a call.”

They agreed that the electrician either comes until 1 pm or the next day in the evening and their call ended. As short as it was and for some may sound a little standoff-ish, Shinsou liked those calls the most. They weren’t as dreadful as those where he had to make small talk and offend the other person by not being the friendliest customer or something.

When he finally was done with that, he fixed himself a bowl of cereal and then sat down on his desk to get some work done before heading off to uni.

When the doorbell rang, Shinsou almost flinched, hunched over his notes about commonly known phobias. Geez. He rubbed his face as he stumbled over to the door, not thinking twice about making himself any more presentable. He, first of all, didn’t give a flying fuck about what an electrician would think about him, and secondly, it was a apartment with three students, what could anyone expect?

What he didn’t expect, was to look into the bright face of someone his age, grinning around a lollipop.

“Yo!” He almost shouted, as he pushed up his cap a little, grinning around his lollipop even wider.

“Hi.” Shinsou answered in the most monotonous voice he could muster but it didn’t deter the other to smile any less.

“I heard you have a broken stove.”

“Yeah.” He stepped aside, letting the guy inside. “First door to the right.”

“Gotcha!” He nodded, pulling his feet out of his shoes. “Oh, I’m Kaminari, by the way.”

“Uh-huh.” Shinsou wasn’t sure how to handle this ball of energy. Literally. When the electrician took his cap off, clipping it to his belt, his yellow hair showed a black streak in his fringe which resembled a flash of lighting. His steps had a little spring to them, his fingers kept tapping to some rhythm, his eyes darting around. And Shinsou only knew this guy for about ten seconds.

“Oh.” Kaminari said as he entered the kitchen. “Well, yeah, that is fucked. In my professional opinion, of course.” He threw his head back and laughed. He fucking laughed at his own joke. “How in god’s name did you do that, man?” Kaminari walked up to the smashed stove plate, without the glass shards mind you, looking at it in fascination.

“My roommates dropped a glass on it.” Shinsou crossed his arms lazily, leaning against the kitchen door frame. “What can you do about it?”

“That sounds like your roommates are a blast!” He laughed again, pushing his lollipop around in his mouth. “Well, I am great at my job but that,” he pointed at the broken ceramic plate, “even I can’t fix that. Got to get you a new one.”

“Figured as much.” Shinsou groaned. “How long will that take?”

“Not that long,” Kaminari mused, pulling out a folding rule. “Oh, did you take out the fuse?”

“Huh?”

Kaminari laughed, again. “That answers it, hehe. Where is your fuse box?” Though Kaminari laughed again and again and kept a lazy smile on his lips, Shinsou never felt that he laughed at him, he just was … amused. And it kinda made it easier to talk to him.

“Over there,” Shinsou pointed back to the entrance hall, next to the small coat rack.

“Gotcha!” Kaminari hopped over to it, with one look flipped one of the like fifty switches, which Shinsou had only a very, very general idea for what they were, and danced back into the kitchen.

“Didn’t plan on getting fried by a smashed stove today!” He winked at Shinsou as he laid down his folding rule to measure the plate.

Shinsou was frozen on the spot. Did he just wink at him? Was he … no. He was just like that, that wasn’t anything weird, was it?

“Alrighty,” Kaminari mumbled around his lollipop, writing some numbers on his notepad that he pushed back into one of his numerous pockets. “It’s a standard stove plate, so nothing hard to get by. I would say tomorrow, the day after tomorrow the latest I can install the new one. Does one of the days work better for you?”

Shinsou blinked himself out of his own stupor, mentally going through his schedule. “I could do tomorrow evening or the evening after that.”

“Tomorrow it is then!” Kaminari smiled around his now almost vanished lollipop. “Uh, can I have your phone number? Just in case, it doesn’t work out for whatever reason, you know?”

“Sure.” Shinsou nodded, rattling off his number. Kaminari typed at his phone, throwing Shinsou a quick glance, clearing his throat.

“And, uh, I didn’t catch your name?”

There was a beat silence, before Shinsou answered slowly.

“Shinsou Hitoshi. Got it.” Kaminari smiled. His fingers fished out another lollipop, unwrapping it so fast Shinsou has never seen anyone do it before and popping it into his mouth. The other stick wandered into a small container with at least five other empty sticks. Uh, okay.

“Well then, Shinsou,” Kaminari said in his usual loud voice, Shinsou just figured out, “see you tomorrow!”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow.” Shinsou nodded as Kaminari slipped back into his shoes and then was out the door after a short wave.

Shinsou didn’t know how long he stood in the entrance hall after Kaminari left. It was kinda like a storm passing by and Shinsou had to process what just happened. Like, nothing bad happened, Kaminari did his job, was friendly, professional. But… but why did it feel like there so much more that happened?

Shinsou shook his head. It was just their wavelengths that were way off and it just was too much all of the sudden, Shinsou figured. Though, if Kaminari felt like so high tension and brimming with energy, why didn’t Shinsou feel drained in the least?

---

Since he only had morning classes, Shinsou spent the afternoon with his roommates. They brought some takeout with them on their way home, so they had some warm food at least. Shinsou was appreciative of them buying all the food, college students being notoriously broke as they were, though it didn’t come up yet, Shinsou planned to chip in with the repair costs, of course. They’re his closest friends after all.

Of course they did speak about the short visit of the electrician and in hindsight, Shinsou ought to know better, but he brought up the topic just to inform them. But he must have slipped in something of the sort that he felt weirdly calm around this energetic guy, because they both brought up sudden plans right after.

So, when 7 p.m. rolled around, he was all alone in the apartment again. And his heart was weirdly pounding in his chest. That was why he literally flinched when his phone rang on full blast. He forgot to put his volume back down after watching a cat video because who the fuck did call anybody these days?

The number was unknown and everything in him screamed to just not pick up. But then his finger was already sliding the “accept” button to the side.

“Shinsou speaking.” He pinched his nose, already berating himself for getting on the phone with a stranger.

“Ah! Hey, Shinsou! It’s Kaminari! The electrician? From yesterday. Because of the stove?” Kaminari’s voice was even louder through the phone, practically screaming in his ear and Shinsou had to hold his phone away before turning down the output volume.

“Yeah, Kaminari. I remember. What’s up?” Shinsou licked his lips, his mouth gone dry all of the sudden.

“I just wanted to check in, if I can come in around half an hour?” There was some traffic noise in the background, he probably just finished up his last customer.

“Yeah, half an hour. I’m here.”

“Perfect! Then I’m just gonna pick up your wonderful new stove plate and come right over!”

“Great.”

Kaminari chuckled and Shinsou’s skin prickled. It even sounded like he had yet another lollipop between his lips, clacking occasionally against his teeth.

“See you soon, Shinsou!” Kaminari hung up before Shinsou could even say anything. He let his phone fall out of his hand on the couch, pressing his hands against his face as he leaned back. What was going on with him? He … was looking forward to seeing Kaminari again? What in the ever loving fuck?

The next half hour went by agonizingly slowly since Shinsou looked at his phone every other minute, both to check the time but also, and he would never admit to it, maybe getting another call from the electrician.

When it (finally) rang at the door, Shinsou had to force himself not to run to the door. Purposefully slowly he opened the door to Kaminari leaning against the stove plate, properly secured in Styrofoam.

“Hey,” he grinned around his lollipop, “I chose the best stove for you!”

“Tha-“

“Out of a range of options!” Kaminari proceeded to put his hands up, motioning finger guns, while winking at Shinsou. And then snorted with laughter himself.

Shinsou didn’t know what did it for him. The absolute absurdity of the situation, the worst pun he ever heard, or Kaminari laughing at his own joke. Maybe all together. But he had to turn his head to the side and snort behind his hand.

“I saw that!” Kaminari yowled, high fiving himself. “Still got it!”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Shinsou asked in the least serious way possible.

“Come on! That was funny!” Kaminari grinned, pulling off his shoes as he more or less invited himself in. Well, Shinsou did step aside to let him in anyway.

“It wasn’t really.” He shook his head, hands pushed inside his pockets as he didn’t know what to do with them.

“But you laughed!” Kaminari exclaimed, carrying the stove plate that looked like it weighted nothing in his arms over to the kitchen.

“I laughed because it was stupid.”

“Whatever the reason, I made you laugh!” Kaminari threw a quick glance over his shoulder at him, before putting the stove plate down right in front of the destroyed one.

“You didn’t turn on the fuse again, did you?”

Shinsou shook his head. “Why would we? I think you were the first one to ever touch that box in this household to begin with.”

That made Kaminari throw his head back with laughter. Why, Shinsou didn’t know but it made him feel warm that something he said made Kaminari laugh so earnestly.

“Are your roommates ever home?” Kaminari opened the cupboard underneath the broken stove plate, getting his flashlight to look at the high-tension socket. “Or just to break your stuff?”

Shinsou could see Kaminari’s shoulders tremble as he suppressed his laughter. Taking a deep breath and exhaling silently through his mouth, Shinsou leaned against the doorframe.

“They had some plans. Suddenly,” he added under his breath, shaking his head. “We do lots of stove together, don’t worry. They’re great friends.”

Kaminari’s whole body shook, giggling silently. He pulled out a small screwdriver and undid the lid of the outlet.  There were a couple of silent seconds as Kaminari carefully pulled out the few wires, before coming up again.

“Wanna give me a hand?” He grinned, setting the flashlight to the side, still kneeling on the ground.

“And doing your job without getting paid?” Shinsou answered but stepped up next to the other regardless.

“Ha, you wish!” Kaminari pushed his lollipop around in his mouth, grinning widely. “Okay, just lift the plate when I push it up.”

“And I won’t get electrocuted for sure?”

“Alas, I’m too good at my job for this to happen. An unfortunate circumstance of being gorgeous and talented.” Kaminari shrugged, shaking his head with a mock devastated expression. Shinsou snorted against his better judgment and didn’t acknowledge the knowing grin from Kaminari.

The plate lifted up a few centimeters as Kaminari pushed it from below and Shinsou grabbed it around the edges, raising it up a little higher. It was, indeed, lighter than he thought.

“Great, thanks.” Kaminari stood up and took it off Shinsou’s hands, standing so close to him he could smell the strawberry scented lollipop through his lips. Kaminari put the broken plate flat on the ground, so as to not let any loose shards fall off. Shinsou stepped back to the side when Kaminari lifted up the other stove plate, put it into its designated place and was back on his knees within seconds. Talk about efficiency.

Another few hand movements and the wires were back in place, the lid was screwed back on the socket and Kaminari stood back up.

“Done and done. Just a last check.” He jogged out of the kitchen and Shinsou was surprised that he still knew where the fuse box was. He heard the switch being flipped and then Kaminari was jogging back in.

“Moment of truth.”

Kaminari turned one of the four knobs on the stove plate and with a silent electric vibration one of the four panels slowly turned red. Kaminari grinned self-satisfied and turned it off again.

“Perfect. Everything as it should be?”

“Yeah, uh, thanks.” Shinsou nodded, a little impressed. That wasn’t complicated in the least and didn’t take as much time as he thought. Probably a lot more expensive than expected, though.

“Great, then I just need you to,” Kaminari fumbled through his pockets to pull out some piece of paper, “sign these papers off. To accept the repair and that stuff.” Kaminari tapped on some boxes Shinsou had to tick and the line he had to sign on.

“Yeah, sure.” Shinsou accepted the pen Kaminari pulled out of another pocket. For a second Shinsou skimmed over the paper, just to be totally sure he wasn’t in some kind of high caliber scam or something but everything seemed to be in order, so he signed it.

“Then we’re done here.” Kaminari folded the paper back into his pocket and saluted Shinsou lazily. “My pleasure.”

“Uh, sure.” Shinsou’s thoughts came to a screeching stop as he realized that Kaminari was about to leave. Like, for good. And somehow it made him anxious. He didn’t want him to leave, instead he wants to hear more bad puns and his contagious laughter.

“Have a nice holiday!” Kaminari crunched the last bit of his lollipop and waved.

“Uh, yeah, thanks. You, too. Don’t get electrocuted by another smashed stove. Or something.” Shinsou pulled at one strand of his hair, unsure where to look.

“I’ll be careful!” Kaminari laughed, popping in another lollipop. “Well, then. See you, hot stove,” Kaminari winked and was out of the door. Leaving Shinsou staring at the closed door.

What the fuck?

---

It didn’t help at all, that Uraraka was literally rolling on the carpet in the living room and Midoriya’s shoulders shook while making a face as to no burst out laughing, when Shinsou told them about his second encounter with the electrician. He never regretted moving in with them more than in that moment.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Midoriya held a finger up before covering his mouth, mumbling something Shinsou didn’t quite get. Uraraka sat up, wiping away the tears that kept on rolling over her cheeks.

“So, what if,” Midoriya looked between them back and forth, “the lollipop was a metaphor all along?”

Uraraka shrieked and fell back down, holding her stomach from laughing so hard. And Shinsou stared outside the window, wishing he was somewhere else but here.

“But jokes aside,” Uraraka said from the floor, spread like a starfish, “you gonna text him or something? Like, you both pretty much find each other … likeable.” They both burst into a small fit of laughter.

Shinsou shook his head. “Why would I?” he sighed. “Sure, mayyyybe,” he fixed them both with a glare and they pressed their lips together, “we kinda sort of found each other tolerable, but,” he leaned back against the couch, crossing his arms, “he just did his job and maybe that’s just his way to talk to customers.”

“Whatever you say, hot stove,” Midoriya snorted.

And if Shinsou threw them both out with a hearty kick in the ass, he would pledge self-defense for his mentality.

---

It wasn’t that Shinsou not thought about maybe texting Kaminari after all since he had his number after he called him. But it didn’t feel right to text him on his work phone just because he felt like his social anxiety wasn’t as bad with his electrician than with everybody else. What kind of reason is that? And then he got flooded with assignments for almost all of his classes due before the Christmas holidays and it kind of slipped his mind.

On the morning of Christmas Eve, Shinsou said goodbye to Uraraka and Midoriya who both had promised their respective families to celebrate with them. They were home almost never already, that’s why they had these fixed days they just had to come home. And Shinsou felt warmed to the core, when they tried to get out of it to spend Christmas with him.

It was no secret that Shinsou would spend Christmas alone and he honestly didn’t mind. Christmas wasn’t a holiday he celebrated in the first place but just knowing everyone spent it with people they love sometimes can be pretty lonely. And spending these days with his blood rela- no, he didn’t even finish that thought. He rather felt like the loneliest person on earth than to spend Christmas with them.

So, he had to give his friends a crushing hug, reassuring them that he really didn’t mind, and he would text them as soon as something came up. It still didn’t make them stop crying, even when they were out the door and he waved at them until they were around the corner of the hallway.

His friends were the best.

The plan was to write a little bit on his paper about the impact of forced interaction because of holidays with family members and then watch a movie and order take out. Even if the stove was working again, it didn’t mean he had to use it.

When the doorbell rang at around noon, Shinsou looked up in confusion. He didn’t order anything yet, did he? He stumbled a few meters as his legs had fallen asleep sitting cross-legged for the past hours on the ground in front of the coffee table.

When he opened the door, it was his landlord Aizawa standing in front of him.

“Uh, hi?” Shinsou blinked, mentally going through anything that could have prompted his landlord to show up. They always paid in time, he wasn’t even remotely too loud to bother his neighbors, there was nothing leaking in the apartment…

“For you,” Aizawa held up a plastic bag, a food container shimmering through the almost transparent fabric. “Hizashi cooked a little too much. And we didn’t want it to get to waste.”

Shinsou looked at the bag and back at Aizawa’s tired face. He didn’t meet his eyes, staring at the floor.

“But your husb-,” Shinsou started but shut himself up. Aizawa’s eyebrow twitched up, but didn’t say anything as Shinsou took the plastic bag.

“Thank you, Aizawa.” Shinsou took a quick glance inside, but couldn’t make out anything specific.

“Merry Christmas, Shinsou,” Aizawa pulled up his scarf and nodded. “If you need anything, just give me a call.”

“Thanks, I will. And merry Christmas to you and Yamada, too.” Shinsou answered, raising his hand in a small wave. He looked after Aizawa’s back until he reached the staircase, where his landlord raised his hand one last time without looking back.

Shinsou went back inside and closed the door before leaning against it. He rubbed at his eye with the ball of his hand, squinting against the tear ducts that threaten to open up. Damn. he didn’t need to be around people to know he was loved so dearly.

But he for sure sent Uraraka and Midoriya a text message for snitching to their landlord that he’ll be home alone. But he also thanked them. And then send them a picture with the food container to make them jealous because they all knew what a great cook Aizawa’s husband was.

Taking a deep breath, willing his eyes to stay dry, Shinsou decided it was time for a break anyway. In the kitchen Shinsou turned on the rice cooker and then took a look at the food container. It was still a little warm and just smelled heavenly. Shinsou seemed to be in luck to get a taste of Yamada’s curry to which his growling stomach agreed.

He put the curry into a pot to reheat it, turned the stove on low heat and walked back to the living room to make some room to eat. It didn’t even take him five minutes when walked back into the kitchen, not even being able to wait twenty minutes, he tried to reason with himself if he even needed rice or could eat it crunchy and call it fried rice for a split second, as he stirred the curry.

Though … it didn’t smell any different, like it didn’t unfold its whole flavor when getting heated up. Shinsou dipped his finger into the curry to feel that it had cooled down even more. Blinking, he pushed the pot aside, hovering his hand over the stove plate to feel no heat at all. He turned the knob to the highest number, but the panel didn’t turn red at all, let alone get warm.

This just couldn’t be happening. Shinsou counted to ten inside his head, before turning the stove and the rice cooker off for good. His next action was to look up the landline of the company that had sent him the electrician that was “alas, too good at his job” and hoped they were still open.

Luck was on his side for that matter at least, since the call connected. The free-line signal went on for an alarming long time until someone picked up. A gruff voice answered, sounding like they had their fair share of annoying customers on Christmas Eve already. After getting through the greetings, Shinsou went right to the point. He didn’t brag about being the perfect customer, he was polite, for sure, but he didn’t suck up to them.

“The stove plate one of your electricians installed last week doesn’t work anymore.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he didn’t sound genuine at all, but Shinsou didn’t care. He just needed someone to fix it. “We have someone for emergencies on duty today. As soon as he is done with his current assignment, I’ll send him over. That okay?”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

“Great. Bye.” And he hung up.

Shinsou exhaled hard, nibbling at his lower lip. What now? Kicking his heels for between half an hour to five hours for someone to come? Working on his paper some more? Order some food already, maybe ruining his appetite?

After an hour he spent playing random games on his phone, upside down on the couch, the doorbell rang yet again this day. It didn’t make Shinsou any less anxious answering the door, though, even if he knew who it would be.

Kaminari stood at the door, cheeks slightly red, his chest rising and falling heavy, almost as if he hurried over here. Shinsou decided to ignore that for his own good.

“Yo!” Kaminari grinned, this time pulling out the lollipop and bowed slightly with his cap pulled off. “I’m terribly sorry about that mistake.”

“Uh,” Shinsou blinked. He didn’t expect such a sincere apology. “Don’t worry about it. I just wanna get something to eat, you know?”

“Yeah, totally!” Kaminari was back grinning at him and walked in as if it was already his own home. And Shinsou honestly didn’t mind. He even opened the fuse box to flip the switch for the high-tension outlet on his way as if it was the most natural thing to do.

“Your friends coming home for dinner, then?” Kaminari asked as he entered the kitchen, Shinsou slowly following him.

“Nah,” he tilted his head, one hand on his neck. “They spend Christmas with their family.”

“Huh?” Kaminari was already kneeling in front of the counter, looking over his shoulder like a lost puppy. “What about you? Does your family not meet up on Christmas Eve?”

Shinsou clenched his jaw, scratching his neck. “No.”

Even if he found Kaminari sympathetic and maybe even liked him a little bit, he still was a stranger and he didn’t need to tell him about any potential tragic backstory. And fortunately, Kaminari seemed to get the hint.

“Gotcha.” Kaminari pulled out his flashlight, leaning inside the cupboard. “I’m gonna spend Christmas Eve alone, too, you know? Though, some friends come over tomorrow evening.”

Shinsou blinked. “Uh-huh. So… what are you gonna do tonight?”

Kaminari had the audacity to lean back on his heels, looking over his shoulder with a smug grin. “What? You gonna ask me out on Christmas after meeting like three times? Shinsou,” he shook his head, “I’m on the clock, you know?”

Shinsou was speechless. Before he could even say anything, Kaminari leaned back under and this time opened up a small panel on the downside of the stove plate.

“Cat got your tongue?” Kaminari asked from inside, not sounding any less smug than before.

“Does your small talk always end up in something romantically and/or sexually implied?”

Kaminari looked, once again over his shoulder, pulling out his lollipop while smacking his lips lewdly. “I don’t know, does it?”

“Goddamnit.” Shinsou mumbled under his breath. Both done and frustratingly smitten with Kaminari. The offending electrician giggled before closing the panel and coming back to his feet again.

“The wire was a little loose, no big deal.” He said, back to his usual voice. “Should be no problems from here on out.”

“That’s what you said the last time.”

“Oh, did I?” Kaminari squinted at the ceiling as if to underline how hard he was thinking back to it. “Can’t remember.” He finally said, shaking his head.

“But now you really don’t have to worry about anything at all anymore.” He pushed his flashlight and screwdriver back into his pockets, unclipping his cap and putting it back on his head.

Shinsou nodded, scrunching up his face in annoyance or disappointed, he didn’t know either.

“Hey, Shinsou?” Kaminari asked around his lollipop as he put on his shoes.

“What?”

“My shift ends at around eight. Give or take half an hour depending on my last assignment.”

“And?” Shinsou raised both his eyebrows, playing nervously with the small hair at his neck.

“Well,” Kaminari chuckled but it was dry, not with its usual lightness, “I just… fuck.” He whispered to himself.

“What, Kaminari?” Shinsou pushed, his voice steadier than he would have thought with his heart pounding wildly in his chest.

“I just thought, you’re alone on Christmas Eve, I’m alone on Christmas Eve,” Kaminari rattled on, not looking back at him, “and I just, you know, I just thought it would be nice to spend it with someone. Who was funny. Or something. You know?”

Shinsou stepped a little closer, seeing that Kaminari’s neck turned bright red and Shinsou had to swallow hard around the lump in his throat. Fuck, indeed.

“You like Chinese food?”

“Huh?” Kaminari turned around half way this time, his cheeks still a little red.

“When you come over, bring Chinese Food. Or Indian. I’m not picky.” Shinsou mumbled, suddenly unsure of what to do or say, kicking at nothing. But he didn’t miss Kaminari’s eyes light up like a Christmas tree.

“Chinese sounds awesome!” Kaminari stood up, suddenly in a hurry. “I’m gonna call you when I’m on the way! See you later, Shinsou!” He shouted as he ran out the apartment, not even bothering to close the door.

The next few hours Shinsou tried to concentrate on writing his paper, failing miserably. He ate some of the curry from Yamada and Aizawa and it was as good as expected but Shinsou found himself looking more forward to the Chinese Takeout. Or the company with it. So, he only ate half of it and put the other half in the fridge for tomorrow.

He ended up looking at his phone every other minute, writing a sentence, then looking at it again. It goes without saying, but he didn’t get any real work done and he knew he had to revise everything he wrote on the last page.

The doorbell rang for the third time this day but Shinsou’s gut didn’t do its usual gymnastic exercises and before he knew, he was already in the entrance hall, opening up. Kaminari changed out of his work jumpsuit into his casual clothes. A thick coat with a dark purple scarf and hat buried him almost completely. His nose was a little red from the cold as he was overall dusted in light snow. But his smile was wide and seemed to melt the snow and cold away.

“Delivery!” It was almost unsettling that there was no lollipop in his mouth this time and Shinsou could actually see the wide grin, showing off immaculate white teeth.

“Come in.” Shinsou tried to sound as nonchalant as possible, only being betrayed by his trembling hands.

Kaminari stepped in, slipping out of his shoes without untying them, threw his coat with his scarf and hat over the wardrobe and just walked up to the living room. Shinsou followed close by, clenching and unclenching his hands to keep them from shaking.

“Wait a sec,” Shinsou pulled his laptop and books to the side, putting them under the coffee table for now. Kaminari put down the plastic bag with various containers.

“I hope I chose right,” he chuckled as he unpacked everything.

“I think you don’t have to worry about that.” Shinsou hummed as he stared at the various containers, kind of a little bit of everything. Fried rice, fried noodles, chicken, duck, wontons, fried vegetables, to name the usual suspects.

“I just wasn’t sure, you know, what you preferred,” Kaminari sounded genuinely worried, scratching his cheek as his eyes hopped from container to container. And that’s when Shinsou noticed how Kaminari’s hands were fidgeting around, pulling at a loose thread on his shirt, his foot tapping silently on the carpet, shifting his weight from one side to the other.

“Sit down,” Shinsou motioned on the ground. “Be right back.” Coming back from the kitchen, Shinsou put down two glasses and a bottle of soda on the table, before sitting down next to Kaminari, who put down his phone as he came back.

Shinsou turned around to pull down his weighted blanket, holding it up to Kaminari. “You want some?”

“Oh!” Kaminari’s face lit up. “Is that one of those weighted ones?!” Before Shinsou could even nod, Kaminari grabbed at it and weighted it with his hands.

“This feels so strange!” He giggled. Shinsou shook his head almost fondly, taking the blanket back from Kaminari’s hands and putting it over their shoulders.

“Sorry, it’s a little small so we need to-“ – “No problem.” Kaminari interrupted him as he scooted closer, grinning from ear to ear. Shinsou swallowed. The blanket had a nice weight to it on his shoulders, grounding him a little and steading his pulse almost instantly. With a glance to the side, Shinsou saw Kaminari sitting with his eyes closed, slowly breathing through his nose.

“I really need to get one of those for myself,” he hummed, smiling up to Shinsou with his eyes only half open.

“It’s Christmas, after all,” Shinsou said lamely, looking away since Kaminari’s relaxed face did things to his heart he didn’t know was possible, “you just wish for it.”

“Mhm, from you?”  

“You wish.”

“Yeah, that’s the point.”

Shinsou snorted, shaking his head once again. He just couldn’t keep up with Kaminari.

They started to eat, trying everything before settling on some things just one of them liked and sharing other stuff. It was rather silent at first until Kaminari just started to talk about some of his customers, how just absolutely horrible some people can be. And some just unbelievable stupid. At one point he talked about a job where he had to replace a smashed stove for what Shinsou shoved him in the face.

Somehow over the course of their dinner, they scooted even closer, their arms almost touching constantly and Shinsou only ever realized that when Kaminari laughed at one of his anecdotes about Midoriya (he cracked a bowl with milk and cereal already inside and slurping it as fast as possible, so it didn’t spill) and he buried his face in Shinsou’s shoulder, his whole body shaking.  

He had to turn his face away, feeling the heat rising to his cheeks. When Kaminari lifted his face up again and didn’t say anything, Shinsou could practically feel his eyes on him, looking through him.

“Hey.” Kaminari’s voice was quiet in contrast to before.

“What.” Shinsou mumbled, not trusting his face to be a normal color again.

“What if I tell you,” he heard Kaminari swallow, “that your stove stopping to work wasn’t a mistake?”

Shinsou felt all his reservation leaving him with a heavy sigh. He turned back toward Kaminari who looked at him with wide eyes, an unsure smile on his lips.

“You win, Kaminari.” Shinsou watched as Kaminari’s eyes squinted at him, thinking about what he meant. So, Shinsou made it a little easier for him.

He raised both his hands to Kaminari’s face, cupping his cheeks and caressing them with his thumbs. Feeling the skin under his hands turn hot and red, and seeing Kaminari’s lips part in surprise, Shinsou was this close to just getting up and leaving his own apartment. This was taking years off of his life.

“I’m going to kiss you now. Any objections?” Shinsou half-whispered, not trusting his own voice.

Kaminari shook his head in between his hands and that was all he needed to know. Shinsou leaned in, guiding their lips together. Both their lips were greasy from the food, tasting like the last dish the other ate, and so unbelievably warm.

Kaminari let out a quiet sigh, leaning closer and Shinsou felt his hands starting to tremble again. But then Kaminari’s hands were on top of his own, squeezing them reassuringly to calm him down. And it helped. Shinsou let out his breath he didn’t realize he was holding in through his nose, holding the kiss for a couple of seconds longer before slowly breaking apart.

“I think I just short-circuited.” Kaminari mumbled, snorting at his own joke.

“You say that as if you don’t have any wires loose anyway.”

“Wow, that was bad,” he snorted again.

“But you laughed.”

“Because it was so bad!”

“Just shut up.”

“Make me.” Kaminari wiggled his eyebrows, trying to hold back a grin.

“And that wasn’t bad?”

“Shinsouuuu,” Kaminari whined mockingly, so naturally Shinsou let him suffer for a couple of seconds longer before he leaned back in again himself.

[punkscowardschampions]

Liam & Edie

Liam: [sends her some kind of coded thing where the answer equals 6 when she works it out so she knows he's not living his best life without her because they're both weird little nerds] Edie: I'm so insanely bored Edie: what lesson are you in and how many negative ⭐s is it Liam: german Liam: all the negatives Liam: [sends her a picture of his textbook with everyone's eyes stabbed out via pencil holes like miss you] Edie: awh, you wanna give me schadenfreude 😍🥴 Edie: that's generous Edie: I was just thinking that a Columbine would liven this place up Liam: write your list, I'll try & think of anyone I'd wanna keep off mine except for you Edie: but being the last ones standing is what we aim for Edie: and what I want right now Liam: anything else you want before I kick that plan off? Edie: don't need time to say any final farewells to any dickhead in this place Liam: you've got a steadier hand, I'll need you to carve no farewells onto the bullets Edie: more deserving use of my time than whatever I'm not being taught right now Edie: how's your aim though? Liam: -9 ⭐s for the lesson you're in Liam: but + it for my aim Edie: my fault for naively thinking Physics might be interesting when I picked it Edie: forgot we were catering for the braindead masses Edie: I believe it, no bullshit brag detected Liam: chemistry would've let you blow more things up Liam: & make 💊 Edie: 😤 I'm mad Edie: no amount of black holes are gonna make up for this Liam: we'll learn it online Edie: but I wanna blow things up with you now Edie: or not learn German vocab Liam: let's go blow up a 🚽 they have to let you out in case you're about to bleed or cry in front of everyone Edie: and am I? Liam: in front of me & whoever else is in there Liam: unless you wanna upload it after Edie: I do need to make the overreaction my fam had over the weekend worth the headache Edie: owed more trouble, like Liam: my dad was on one too, he's the only one not allowed to show up by his logic Liam: you want a bigger scale? every 🚽 in the building Liam: maybe school would have to shut Edie: Know that, my sister is the definition of one rule for her, another for the rest of us Edie: I reckon we could do 'em all without getting caught in the act Edie: more fun after the fact 📹 to claim it Liam: just need to get creative with our explosives, I won't have enough 🧨 to do every bathroom Liam: you in the labs or a standard classroom? Edie: labs Edie: she's scheduled a breakdown any moment now anyway, she's always pissing off to cry herself so I'll take my opportunity and cue as such Liam: 3 HNO3 + C6H7(OH)3O2  H2SO4 →  C6H7(ONO2)3O2 + 3 H2O Liam: only need nitric & sulphuric acid from you Edie: you're a hot evil genius, okay Liam: there's a story behind it but maybe I shouldn't give it to you Liam: keep that train of thought intact Edie: but I need it Edie: I can keep 'em both on track, trust me Liam: you need it? tell me about that first Edie: I love stories Edie: and I liked talking to you, a lot Edie: and I like it when you give me things Edie: so yeah, it's a need Liam: to make you happy then Liam: the year is 1846 and this german-swiss scientist was messing in his kitchen Liam: he spilled a mixture of those 2 acids I told you to get on his table & grabbed the first thing he had about to clean it up Liam: happened to be a cotton apron & he hung it on his oven door to dry after, super chill until it exploded Edie: that's perfect Edie: scientists really loved making shit happen on accident, just like all life Edie: 🧫🦠 Liam: I was an accident & look how that turned out Edie: Big same Liam: my sister too, different loser dad though Edie: yeah? Edie: we've got that in common too Liam: does seem to be pretty common Edie: happy little accidents Edie: or not so Liam: I don't wanna be like that Liam: the different girls bit at least Edie: people love repeating their parents mistakes and bullshit Edie: even when they railed on it for years Edie: I don't fucking get it Edie: make your own, at least Liam: maybe you'll think this is one but I gotta say it Liam: I don't care about claiming 🚽💥 I wanna claim you Liam: be with me Edie: You mean it Edie: no bullshit Liam: only if there's bullshit that comes with being official & exclusive all of that Edie: I think that's a really, really good idea Edie: not a mistake but even if it was, I still want it Liam: alright, it's yours, me & the gay 🖤 shit Edie: [sends him a 🥰 selfie] Liam: it's my background Edie: you were already mine Edie: [glitter moment shamelessly] Liam: took the longest shower & I'm still finding it 🗺❌ Edie: good thing you suit it Edie: we can try again though, after the literal shitstorm, a shower is a good idea Liam: yeah, wouldn't suit that Liam: german teacher can disagree as loud as she wants Edie: 😏 Edie: can keep their filth and their hands to themselves Liam: I respect that you only covered me in glitter so that those girls would think I was gay & do the same Edie: people gotta respect territory Edie: works until I perfect your tat Liam: I'll get on the school roof with a 📢 Edie: You're everything Liam: you can sample it when you write a song about me Edie: I will Edie: your friend is not getting a feature Liam: his loss Liam: I'll only gloat for a while Edie: you can go as hard as you want, I reckon Edie: you've earnt it, like Liam: I'll go as hard as you want Liam: you're my girl now Edie: I'm yours Liam: make your physics teacher cry for me then Liam: we've got shit to do Edie: 😄 Edie: done Edie: where are we meeting when I'm fully done and have secured the shit? Liam: [a location] Edie: 👍 Liam: 🔜 Edie: making people cry is a speciality of mine Liam: it won't work on me Edie: I don't want to make you cry Edie: ever Liam: good thing I can't ever, all that toxic masculinity Edie: not missing out on much Edie: even if Miss makes a proper performance out of it Edie: more fun ways to do that Liam: yeah there are Edie: 💣💥 Liam: don't have to hand you a 🧨 to cause 🎇🎆 Edie: you don't even know how true that is Edie: yet Liam: for now it's a guess Edie: I'll show you Liam: I just wanna feel something Liam: that's not only 💊🥤 Edie: I will make that happen Edie: you don't need to believe me, just wait Liam: I'm waiting Edie: you deserve to feel everything Liam: I've tried but it don't work out like that Edie: you can't? Edie: or only certain emotions Liam: there's no 💣💥 in me Edie: we can be dead inside together and make it happen to everyone else Edie: for now Edie: [show up] Liam: [just kiss her too hard because everything you do is a little bit too much boy, okay you're numb but there's too many emotions trapped under the surface that we're not addressing so] Edie: [thank god we're so overwhelmed ourselves that we can just roll with this and have it be the most extra thing] Liam: [this is why you two work] Edie: [just approaching this like you aren't her first honey not even 'cos we're fronting but feelings and trying to make you feel things] Liam: [realistically who have you ever slept with either boy unless you've gotten with one of Rio's friends casually prior to this or something like] Edie: [just out here doing the most from the jump, the fam must be like HELLO???] Liam: [shouldn't be here for it but I am] Edie: [we all are by all I mean us and them, no one else lol] Liam: [imagine how shook he'd be because didn't expect it to be like this] Edie: [awkward, like the levels you must pay attention to no one but Rio 'cos she isn't really conspicuous in how she be lol] Liam: [and if he did get with one of Rio's friends when he first started stalking her it clearly didn't work out so he's probably bracing himself for another failed attempt and then] Edie: [it makes logical sense, like tryna get in the friend group lowkey but none of her friends are really here for it[ Liam: [yeah and like in my head he started stalking Rio when his sister had just died so he wouldn't have been bringing his A game] Edie: [exactly dr phil] Liam: [but obviously nothing happened that she could clock as a red flag when she's thinking of suspects he was probably just really blah because numb] Edie: [yeah, and none of her friends are gonna chat shit on the boy who's sister just died really like it's to be expected] Liam: [it's a good cover like you said] Edie: [just sat here like it's so rude we're gonna kill Edie, as if it wasn't rude before] Liam: [I do feel so bad for him even though he literally fucks with Rio's entire life] Edie: [lol same, it's like if you could just stop doing that tah] Liam: [I think it's partly because we both know she ends up okay and living as happy a life as poss whereas he does not] Edie: [yeah, there's no hope and that's just sad, even if you were an absolute dick, like Ro, per example, still sad she dies for everyone else] Liam: [agreed] Edie: [and you aren't that insufferable boy which is just well] Liam: [nobody is, she's next level] Liam: [anyway also do your vandalism and have way more fun than you expected with that as well] Edie: [when it's just a moment for you immediately and you're all in] Liam: [do we wanna close the school or not let them destroy every bathroom in the place for various reasons lol?] Edie: [on the one hand, maybe get caught before you do every bathroom for that trouble mood, on the other, if you shamelessly upload it you'd get in more trouble for making the school look dumb and shit hmm, I think this time get caught and we'll let you be sneaky trouble causing nerds plenty of other times[ Liam: [I'm about that, we know you're both pretty distracted rn so] Edie: [it feels more legit for this instance, and we can separate you and they'd probably call Ali in for the drama of it] Liam: [you can work your way into the fam later boy you're trying to keep your gf highkey for now, I love the idea of both their mums getting called in and awkwardly meeting haha] Edie: [they'd lowkey want them to kick up a fuss and separate them for the school but Ali knows how well that works so it's like well soz you'll have to cope] Liam: [whereas his mum is the opposite, you know the sort never backs the kid and is just wholeheartedly like yes do whatever you think @ the school] Edie: [ahh the joys] Edie: [once that drama has unfurled and you're in your separate detention moments, sending him a pic from the school website of all the staff but she's digitally ❌d out all their eyes] Liam: I miss you too Edie: I hope so Liam: what else would I be doing? Edie: I don't know Edie: you are full of good ideas Liam: I was thinking about setting the fire alarm off Edie: an acceptable second to thinking about me constantly Edie: would hate to perish in a fire with all these cunts Liam: to be with you Liam: I'd get you before they made you line up in the playground for the head count Edie: then we can leave, like we planned Edie: they'll have let our mas fuck off by now Liam: 🗑🔥 Liam: boring if it wasn't for you Edie: you're like Edie: seeing a new colour Liam: maybe I should leave you there longer so you can work on your song about me Edie: don't though Edie: I know it sounds cliche but that's the only way I can explain how blindsided but transformed I feel from you Liam: you're the only person who's said it, don't think that's how cliches work Edie: I don't just say pretty things for the sake of it Edie: or anything Edie: I mean it, regardless of what it does or don't sound like Liam: I know you mean it Edie: if we both set one, it'll take them longer to get back inside Edie: hide and seek and we can finish what we started? Liam: you're on Edie: 3️⃣2️⃣1️⃣ Liam: 1️⃣ 2️⃣ 3️⃣ Edie: [ahh this poor school lol] Liam: [love that you get to be notorious though gal cos peeps gonna be talking about these antics for ages] Edie: [in this fam you have to make your own rep or life is really hard junie and grace, I said what I said] Liam: [tea though] Liam: [I'm trying to think of somewhere cool they could go and my first thought was like a junkyard vibe so they can destroy more things like life is strange and sex education unless you have any better ideas] Edie: [that's always a mood, also very akin to the barn which will clearly be your domain so] Liam: [yeah and somewhere she's probably been loads of times that she knows all the hiding places of so they don't need to be interrupted again] Edie: [live your best destructive lives] Liam: [when he would be and lowkey forget what he's meant to be doing here, such fun, not devastating me at all] Edie: [the theme of these painful two years lmao, I'm so glad you never find out babe truly] Liam: [though ngl I wish you could survive and we could see if y'all as a couple could survive that] Edie: [ahh when you can't do it all, so rude] Liam: [could've had it all rolling in the deep] Edie: [soz you've got to die my love] Liam: [soz you both have, his poor mother] Edie: [yeah that is no fun] Liam: [soz both your kids are dead babe but we need it for the plot] Edie: [some people have the worst luck truly]

[pandemicthestory]

8: masked

YOUTUBE SEARCH// how to make a pandemic mask with a bandana (to save a brain dead sister)

After hanging up with Madison, Emma pulls up a YouTube video on how to make a DIY mask out of a bandana and two rubber bands.

She hasn't been outside for almost three months now, except now and then stepping onto her front porch so she can remind herself what air smells like. Now, it's time to brave the storm--or rather, the toxic virus that has suffocated thousands.

"Where do you think you're going?" calls mom.

"And what the hell is that thing on your face? Looks like a diaper." her dad loves to make jokes at her expense to entertain her mother. Normally, she might tell him to piss off and maybe comment on his lack of a career or any good qualities in general. That would normally land her "quarantined" (ha) to her bedroom. They see it as punishment, but for Emma, solitude away from those assholes has always been a delight.

Sure, these sentiments come across as harsh. But Emma's anger towards her parents didn't come out of nowhere. If it was up to her, she'd have a wonderful relationship with them--hell, they might all be sitting on the couch together right now, watching The Sopranos and sharing a bowl of popcorn. But that's an alternate universe that she'll never live in.

Some parents don't have favorites. Emma's parents are not those parents.

Once upon a time, back when she and Isabel were the best of friends, the four members of their family felt close. A cohesive unit. It was so long ago now that Emma hardly remembers it...but the memories of taking bike rides through the park trails that ended with a picnic, and of ice skating in the winter before the reward of hot chocolate with mini marshmallows, those memories are still there. They loved to be outdoors together. It seems like they became trapped indoors long ago, long before this pandemic began.

If Emma could let go of those memories, she would. Maybe it's because they're so deeply ingrained in her mind, like shrapnel in a war wound, that the pain of her current reality is sharper than it has to be. Every time she feels her mom's disapproving stare or her dad's condescending laughter, in the back of her mind, she remembers the ice rink. It's the comparison between then and now that she can't seem to let go of.

When she and Isabel got a bit older, their dad got a better job. Well, one that paid him more money, but not one that made him happier. Still, everyone called it "better." They moved to a bigger house in a more relevant suburb and their mom started wearing fancier clothing. There were no bike trails nearby.

As Emma's dad was around less, Emma's mom had more anxiety. And she had nothing to do with it--at first. At some point, she started to compare and contrast her two daughters. Emma: older, more introverted, creative, distant. Isabel: outgoing, popular, bubbly, positive. Emma's mom always felt that she was responsible for Emma's trouble connecting with others, and in some ways, she was. It was a cycle. Emma's distance led her mom to fear her, which made her more distant.

Emma was very young when her mom decided that she had already slipped away. Her mom made up her mind that she wouldn't let the same happen to Isabel. She felt immense guilt for letting go of Emma, but their strained relationship was a constant reminder of her own inadequacies. With Isabel, it would be different. 

Emma was old enough and smart enough to understand the difference between the way her mom treated her and her little sister. It wasn't Isabel's fault, but Emma resented her nonetheless. So when Emma moved out of the butterfly room into her own space, she shut the door behind her. And thus, over time, the two sisters grew apart. 

With each lonely glass of wine, their mother grew apart from reality. Her mission to "save" Isabel was noble, but she didn't have the energy to fully commit. And Emma's father was in and out of the picture to the extent that she decided to let him go, to shut herself off from the disappointment and scorn, a coping mechanism that she had unintentionally learned from her mom.

Ultimately, money had not solved the problems of the Bradford family. However, that didn't mean that Emma wasn't going to stockpile a shitload of it. And run away from them forever.

"I'm just going for a walk around the block." Emma says through her DIY bandana mask.

"Well, stay 6 feet apart from anyone you might see out there. It's easy to catch this thing even from just breathing." Emma's mom commands. Showing authority is the one of the last ways she knows how to connect with her oldest daughter.

"Yeah, no shit." Emma says under her breath, leaving before they can chastise her.

Emma's mom watches her daughter leave. Her dad shakes his head.

"When this is all over, we'll have to do something about her. She's not well." His concern is questionably genuine. He's not a bad person, though his loyalty has wavered over the years. It's more so that he fell out of touch a long time ago and never returned.

Emma's mom continues to stare. She doesn't like that her daughter speaks to her like that. But what she likes even less is the feeling that overall, in her life, she's losing control.

"I don't know about waiting until this is all over. We might have to do something sooner than that."

Emma steps outside. April in the midwest is nasty. Apparently, before global warming gave the planet a death sentence, this month used to be spring. There were flowers, and grass, and other green stuff. So she'd been told. But now, everything is grey and wet. Just as well, since the outdoors are not so relevant anymore.

She sees a navy blue Toyota Prius rounding the corner onto her street. She grins, she can always count on Madison.

Emma runs down the street so that her parents won't see Emma's car in front of their house. If they make this quick, they can be back before her mom and dad question what could have happened. They'll believe she had only been on a walk.

As Emma gets into Mad's car, the feeling of closeness is overwhelming. The two friends fight the strong urge to hug.

"Oh my god, this is so weird. I can't believe you're here. That I'm seeing you. Oh god it's trippy." Madison rambles.

"I can't believe it. Not hugging you really sucks."

Madison jokingly backs away from her.

"I dunno if I wanna hug you with that mask...looks like a diaper on your face."

"Yeah and where's your mask? You're just jealous cuz you're gonna die, like an idiot." Emma buckles her seatbelt and turns up the radio. David Bowie is really setting the rebellious tone.

"Ok can you please tell me where we're going? Kinda need to know if I'm gonna drive us there." asks Madison.

"Ok get ready for it: we're going to Best Buy."

Madison looks at Emma like, "you pulled me out of my house in a fucking pandemic for this? I hate you."

"What the hell are you talking about, Em? First of all, WHAT. And second of all it's closed!! Duh!!"

"And we're gonna go anyway. Just trust me, ok?"

Madison rolls her eyes and turns the car around. This is not the heist she was expecting, but it will have to do.

Driving through town is freaky, to say the least. Everything is closed, there are no cars, and the fact that it's grey just really makes it the most depressing place one could be on a Friday.

"Everything's really closed, isn't it?" Emma asks, staring out the window at the ghost town. Madison shakes her head.

"And you think Best Buy is gonna be any different?"

Seemingly, it isn't. They pull up to Best Buy and the store is aggressively closed, its darkened windows matching every other depressing business in the strip mall. The expansive parking lot is empty...except for just one car.

"Huh, who do you think that is?" Madison asks, peering while pulling into a parking space. Emma holds her breath, really hoping Madison won't be pissed, but knowing she will be.

"Yeah, um, I know who that is. Because I asked him to come."

"God Emma, what did you do?"

It's then that a young man steps out of his car. Short, athletic build, cropped auburn hair...it's Gabriel. Zoe's senior boyfriend. What. The. Hell.

"Ummm, care to explain why GABE is here?" Madison hisses through clenched teeth, as they get out of the car.

"If I had told you beforehand, you wouldn't have driven me."

They approach Gabriel, who leans against his car, slightly confused. Emma attempts a handshake, as if this is a business conference. She immediately hates herself for her awkwardness. What is the appropriate greeting in a heist?

"Nice mask." He smirks.

"It's a diaper." Madison retorts. He laughs.

"So Emma, I didn't tell Zoe...but if I'm gonna lie to my girlfriend, you gotta give me a good explanation. I mean, you don't even like me."

"True." Madison says, as Emma nudges her in the ribs. Emma takes a deep breath.

"Thanks for meeting us Gabe. Like I said on the phone, I wouldn't have asked if it wasn't important, and I'm pretty sure this might be life or death. That sounds stupid but yeah. This is all very weird, and I can't really explain the full story because there's this thing with my sister, and there's a game that she played, and this guy online might be responsible for why she's currently a vegetable, although I'm pretty sure that's temporary, at least I fucking hope it is. Anyway does that make any sense at all?"

Madison and Gabriel stare at her looking completely lost. Emma regains her nerve. Get to the point.

"Gabe, I know you worked here two summers ago. Right?"

He nods.

"Do they have...an employee entrance of some kind? Like a door in the back? Any kind of warehouse opening?"

"There's an employee entrance in the back of the store." he says, cautiously. Again, Emma takes a breath.

"Well then, what I'm hoping...is that you still have a key, or a card, or whatever it takes to get inside."

Both Gabriel and Emma look shocked. Gabe speaks first.

"I um...I keep all my key cards. You never know what could happen." Now that he's catching on, his tone has grown more serious.

"That's what I was hoping you'd say. We need to get inside, Gabe. I need a certain piece of equipment."

Gabe nearly laughs.

"So what you're saying is you want to steal electronics from the warehouse? Do you know what would happen if we got caught?"

"Well yes, well, no...um, my uh...little sister..."

Emma's face is red now. She's now realizing that this was an incredibly stupid idea...how could she have thought of something so reckless, and actually suggested it out loud. She'd fully love to be anywhere but here, even squeezed between mom and pop on the couch.

Oddly, it's Julian's voice she hears echoing in her head--scorning her for letting these other people into a situation so personal. 

They don't know her. No one knows the real her, except him. He's yelling at her for jeopardizing their opportunity to run away together. For putting herself first. 

She gulps back tears. Is it Julian's voice, or her mom's? 

Madison's voice snaps her out of it.

"I say let's fuckin do it." she says.

Emma exhales. Gabriel looks at her intently.

"You sure?" he asks.

Emma looks at the dark, looming building in front of them. She learned at a very young age how to be brave.

"We gotta be quick."

[danetobelieve]

Baywatch || Blanche and Winston

With the amount of people telling her not to go back to the beach along with the amount of people she was telling not to even go near the beach, Blanche was pretty sure this wasn’t the greatest idea. Someone had to do it, though. Someone needed to get close enough to the chest. Blanche desperately wanted to know what was in it like everyone else, but she, thankfully, knew better. Just get the pictures, and then get the fuck out of there. Maybe fight a killer lobster or two. Blanche pulled up to the address Winston gave her, self-consciously patting her pocket with the mace Cece had graciously let her keep. First thing she did was put a nice sticker of, ironically, a crab on it when she got home so she wouldn’t mix it up with a can of actual mace. Her back seat had other makeshift weapons. Hairspray and one of those large candle lighters, a baseball bat, and a can of RAID. She glanced to the back seat, frowning. Maybe she over did it. She looked rolled down the window when she saw Winston approaching, leaning looking out the window. “I think this is where I’m supposed to call you a loser and make a mean girl’s reference.”

Honestly, moments ago Winston had been stood looking at what they had decided to call their survival pack. They were certain that they would need more then this. But they had ‘borrowed’ one of Ricky’s axes that they used to cut firewood and they had also grabbed a first aid kit, water, some food (just in case) and a few other essentials. This after everything that had happened to their house with Skylar and Ricky, well Winston wasn’t entirely sure that they were sane anymore. But Blanche was cool, in a way that not many people were and she was funny too. Winston didn’t want anything to happen to her and so they were going to go with her. Even if it meant lying to Remmy. Something that Winston felt immensely guilty about. This was a really bad idea. They hadn’t even bothered to tell Ricky what they were doing. “Probably, but it would’ve fallen on deaf ears because that is one film that I have never watched,” they chuckled nervously and then realised what they were doing and tried to make it sound natural except it probably just made it sound even more anxious then before, “we should probably get this over with.”

“That’s got to be a cardinal sin or something.” Not having seen Mean Girls wasn’t important. They were more nervous than she was, and that was saying something. Blanche wondered if she should call the whole thing off - probably - especially if Winston was anxious about it. But, in her heart of hearts, she knew she wasn’t going to do that because at the end of the day she knew she was just going to go anyway and if she went without Winston they were going to get mad at her and she didn’t want that. She liked Winston, and she wanted them to be her friend because… Well, she needed those, and also they were funny enough that almost dying in the middle of the woods via hedgehound (moose?) was a little less terrible. So that had to count for something, right? Blanche glanced over at them, glancing them over - “Is that - Is that an axe?” Blanche gapped. Red axe for red lobsters, she guessed. A giggle came out of her, mostly because she was trying to imagine Winston swinging that thing at a giant lobster - Karkinoid, really. Snickering, she shook her head. “Christ. Toss it in the back with the rest of my makeshift weapons. The good news is -” Blanche said, checking her blind spot before she pulled back out onto the road. “- that someone offered a ‘small finders fee’ for any parts of crab - er, Karkinoid we kill. So that’s cool. How’s your housemate?”

“Well if not seeing Mean Girls doesn’t send me to hell for my sins then I am sure Rick or Remmy will after they find out what I have agreed to here.” Winston was a person full of regrets as they reached over towards the back seat and deposited their axe there. “Uh, yes, it is an axe, Ricky had a whole tool shed off of his studio that is just fool of odd tools and this looked like it would be the best option,” they weren’t sure why Ricky had an actual fire axe but in a time of need like the one that they found themselves in, Winston wasn’t about to ask a bunch of questions about a good thing. “You really … came prepared.” Winston wondered if perhaps they really should invest in a gun. They weren’t sure that their morals would allow them to honestly. After watching their dad work at the WCPD for many years, they had become convinced that they weren’t the sort of thing that everyday people should just have access to. “Ricky?” they asked quietly, “Yeah he’s fine, a little banged up but he’ll do ok.” Winston was glad that the back porch was at the back of the house and not the front. They would hate for Blanche to see the mess that the karkinoids had made.

“How about this: You deal with Ricky, and I deal with Remmy once we’re back,” Blanche said. “Or, actually, send them both after me. This is my fault anyway,” she shrugged slightly. If the shoe fit, she would deal with both the wrath of Remmy and Ricky once it came down to it. Now, maybe her morality was slightly corrupted now that she also fully had a plan of killing one of the Karkinoids so she could show Regan - though, she wasn’t quite sure how that was going to work. Maybe if she just took it’s head or it’s giant claw or something… She didn’t get a chance to dwell on it though because there was something in Winston’s quiet tone that sobered her up a little. “Good,” Blanche said, glancing at them. Not good. People were getting hurt because of this. “Even better, there’s a clear forecast. I didn’t get hit with a single salmon or carp on my way here.” She made the turn off to get to the beach. “Alright, so, you know what the plan is right? No touching or trying to open the stupid thing. Just pictures of it.”

“Or we can just not tell them about any of this,” Winston replied, “we’re just getting in and out and nothing is going to go wrong so there won’t be anything to tell them.” Winston knew that they were kidding themselves. This was something so big that there was no way that they were going to be able to hide it from their friends. “I’ve got your back,” they said with a shrug, “you’re not forcing me to come.” They knew that they didn’t have to do this, the truth was that they really didn’t want to, but they wouldn’t let Blanche do this on their own. Helping people over come adversity was the name of the game, this was just different from forensics. But after everything that had happened at their own home the other night, Winston wasn’t sure that they could just sit back and let nothing happen. “This may be the first time that I’ve ever used fish as a descriptor for the weather and I have to be honest, if a large fish never misses me narrowly as I walk to work then it’ll be too soon.” They nodded calmly, pulling out their inhaler and taking a quick preventative breath of it before flashing Blanche a quick smile. “No touching, in and out.”

“Mmm, well you should know that I'm a notoriously bad liar,” Blanche grimaced, remembering all the bullshit with Regan. Her so called jenga tower of lies was only staying up with pieces of string, duct tape, and chewing gum. “If they ask, it’s not worth it to even try.” She glanced to them, feeling a little touched that they had her back. Was this what friendship was? Blanche was bad at that - gauging just what type of level she was on with people. “I have your back too,” Blanche said, truthfully. If anyone was going to get hurt on this mission impossible/investigative bullshit, it should be her and absolutely not Winston. “Ugh, you should have seen the size of the salmon that almost knocked me off my bike - and the bruise to prove it.” She glanced at them, grinning. “In, out, might mace a few lobsters here and there. Sounds like my ideal beach day, to be honest.” She made the last turn, and carefully pulled her car up where she had the last time with Remmy and Moose. Blanche undid her seatbelt. “Alright - pick your poison from our weapons cabin. I’m taking the mace -” she held up her acid mace. “Because this shit could probably melt through steel.”

“Me too,” Winston admitted, “I don’t know why but I always forget that I’ve told a lie to set up the lie I’m telling, and then after that my preceding lies begin to contradict each other and then I get confused and slip up.” They didn’t often try to lie because of it. “If they ask we come clean and I’ll hide with my parents until Ricky inevitably tells them what I did.” They laughed mutely at their own joke. It was reassuring to know that Blanche was there to help them should things go south. It was nice to know that there were other people who got this. Ricky had always known about this and it wasn’t exactly the same. “I saw a swordfish go straight through an awning and almost impale an old woman named Gertrude.” They raised an eyebrow at the idea of the upcoming activity. “Where did you get lobster mace from?” They paused for a moment longer before scratching behind their ears and fidgetting a bit. They could never sit still when something big was coming up. “I’ll take the axe then, I guess, unless there’s something better you think I should take instead?” This felt like the weirdest walking dead cosplay ever.

The good part about being cut off from her parents is no one could tell her to do anything anymore. What was Remmy going to do, call up her mom and tell her what she had done? That would result in a mad voicemail she wouldn’t even listen too because it wasn’t like she answered her mother’s calls anyway. She winced at their description of a woman named Gertrude almost turning into a shish kabob via swordfish. What was it, Regan said? Weather patterns her ass. “Um -” Blanche took her keys out of the ignition and stuffed them in her jacket pocket. “A friend. One of my friends that I can’t tell you about,” she added, and hopefully that would put an end to that. She did not want Cece to go all memory-wipe on her ass. Raising an eyebrow as she got out of the car. “You want the axe? I mean…” It wasn’t that she doubted they could use the axe to their advantage, it was just a little more close for comfort if they did get into some crabby trouble. “That should be fine. I want to take a chunk out of one of’em anyway.” She glanced down the rocks, to the beach, spotting the chest. Blanche pointed. “There she is. Stupid thing.”

Grabbing the axe, Winston paused for a second before scooping up the hair spray and some candlelighters too. Y’know. Just in case. Fire seemed to work fine, though Winston wasn’t sure that they really wanted a repeat display of the other night. They’d felt exhausted for hours afterwards before sleeping for 12 hours. “I’m hoping that we don’t even need this,” Winston replied, praying to whatever gods actually existed that there wasn’t about to be some vicious crustaceans that were going to make their lives a misery. Stepping away from the car, Winston made sure that they only had the absolutely necessary things with them. Phone, inhaler, axe, hair spray, candle lighters, y’know the essentials. “How do you want to do this?” Winston asked as they slowly crept towards the rocks that overlooked the beach, hoping to get a better view. For the moment everything seemed relatively clear, but there was a lot that they still couldn’t see. “You’ve got a plan right?”

Blanche relaxed half a bit when Winston grabbed the candlelighters and her can of hairspray. Shit was cheap, that could set anything on fire. She glanced out at the chest before glancing at them when they asked her what her plan was. Somehow, she didn’t think would would be helpful to tell them that she was just going to be like Nike and just do it. Just get down, rush to the chest, snap her photos, kill a lobster when the inevitably came to try and chop their limbs off…. She just needed to make it sound more formulaic than that. That would make Winston feel better. “Um.” Which all would have been fine and good if she could think of a better way to do it. “Well….” She squinted down at the sand and could itty bits of remains of lobster from the last time she’d been here. The acid, plus the other Karkinoid feasting on each other, there wasn’t much left. She patted her pockets. Mace in one, cell phone in the other. Shivering slightly,  “All that’s left is to just do it now. There’s a bathroom over that way on the beach where we can run and hide if it’s too much.” Blanche shrugged, before carefully sitting down on the edge and pushing herself off so she could carefully climb. “Careful, the rocks are slippery, it’s a miracle I didn’t break something the last time I flew down them at top speed.”

Pausing, Winston moved through the rocks as carefully as they possibly could. “Ok, just … just do it.” Winston felt their heart race. They felt blood surge around their body. They felt adrenaline roar. They could feel everything tense as they moved down towards the beach. A can of hair spray in one hand and a fire axe in the other. This was perhaps the bizarrest they had ever picture themselves. A nervous bead of sweat trickled down their left temple and rolled off their jawline. “Just do it. Just do it.” They weren’t sure why they were repeating that. Honestly it wasn’t making this much better. “Don’t worry, I won’t do anything else to my ankle unless I can absolutely see no other option.” They were joking of course. “There doesn’t seem like there’s anything around, let’s just get in and out.” They moved off from their hiding spot, slipping down the beach as silently as they could. Unaware of anything else there as of yet. They hoped that wasn’t just about to change. “How close do you want to get?” they asked Blanche, adjusting their glasses to sit more comfortably on their face.

“As god as my witness, if you hurt your ankle again, I will - “ Blanche was going to say kill you but that somehow didn’t seem appropriate. She dropped down onto the frozen sand and looked at them. “ - I’ll - don’t hurt your ankle again, I can’t pick you up and then I’ll have to call 9-1-1 and then the police and firemen are going to show up and it’s going to really not end well.” Or maybe she was getting ahead of herself and needed to chill out. Blanche’s palms were were starting to get sweaty, and she rubbed them on her thighs anxiously, glancing out at the chest. “I dunno, 10 feet, maybe? You think that’s too close? My iphone has a great camera and can zoom.” Maybe, after all this was over, she should invest in an actual camera. Funnily enough, it was going to be easier to get a gun rather than get a camera. “C’mon. Let’s get this over with - you’ll hear the clicking.” Blanche glanced at them, before patting them on the shoulder and strode forward. Cece had let her lead the way, and she did, so she was going to just… just do it again! Perfect.

“I promise that I will do everything that I possibly can to avoid injuring my ankle again, because I don’t want to be hobbling around on a busted leg when giant crustaceans called Karkinoids try and cut me in two.” Maybe Winston was being dramatic, but they didn’t feel like they were being dramatic. “At least we’ll probably have some signal here, after all, this is a beach right. Why wouldn’t you get signal at the beach?” Winston was almost too afraid to look at their phone at this point. They considered how close too close really was. Honestly, Winston thought that they were too close right now, but they weren’t about to chicken out in front of Blanche after they had been the one that had insisted that she couldn’t possibly go on her own. “I can deal with ten feet I think,” Winston replied after chewing their cheeks for a second, “let’s go,” they agreed as they set off again across the beach. They followed after Blanche, craning their neck for crabs or lobsters or anything with claws.

Blanche snorted. After this was over, she was going to have to tell Winston they were funny. Because they were - especially in the face of danger. That had to count for something. Maybe a merit badge for facing adversity. “We have signal, I looked before I jumped down here,” Blanche assured them. At least, she had signal. She wouldn’t know about their stupid andriod phone. They moved down the beach, inching closer and closer to the chest. Her heart was pounding hard in her ears, but she decided that she didn’t care. She wasn’t afraid of anything! If she wasn’t afraid of anything than some stupid lobster wasn’t going to prevent her from doing what she wanted. Fuck that! It was easier to go on a tangent in her head than it was to actually follow it. Surprisingly enough, they’d gotten pretty far before the fucking clicking started and she went rigid on the spot. Blanche cursed quietly, stuffing her hand in her pocket and pulling out her phone, shoving it to Winston. “Take the photos, I’ll spray the stupid things and see if it gets them to back off. They like to eat each other once one is dead,” Blanche said, quickly - she didn’t know if anything she said had come out clearly because she was talking very, very quickly. Low and behold, there were the crabs. Lobsters. Karkinoids. Whatevers. There was only a couple, thank god. But who knew where the others were. Blanche had her mace out and had it pointed in the right direction and sprayed. Better melt them now before they got too close. The unfortunately familiar smell of burning burning lobster filled her nose. “Don’t forget to focus the camera!” She called, eyes darting around the beach for more crustaceans.

“Ok, good, because although I’m not sure what a cop would do against a massive armoured crab, I do know that I’ll feel much better risking my life if there’s someone to yeet me out if you get my meaning.” Winston wondered how many cops had seen these things, why was it that none of these things were ever discussed? Why had they never realised how dangerous a place they were living in until now. If none of the last few weeks had happened, would they have continued living in denial indefinitely? As they crept closer and closer, they couldn’t help but keep their ears pricked. They could hear the clicking as they got close. They were about to complain that they were the one taking the photos when they realised that this meant that they weren’t going to have to be dealing with the crab things. Winston fumbled with their phone, pulling up the camera that they knew was supposed to be superior to an iPhone camera although at this moment it was taking way too long to focus. Sprinting closer, they tried to be quick, they didn’t want Blanche to get hurt because they were too slow. Their hand shaking, Winston tried to take a deep breath, before snapping several shots of the chest. “How many of these do you want?” they shouted Blanche’s way.

Ewwww. She’d been right in saying that they would eat each other because now that’s exactly what the other one was doing. Blanche wrinkled her nose, keeping careful watch as she turned her head to check on Winston briefly. “Take pictures of each side of the chest. And one from above, too! And don’t touch it!” Blanche didn’t think the warning to Winston was completely needed at all, but it never hurt. She crept closer to the crab that was still alive and clicking, before it’s head snapped up to look at her and she sprayed it in the face. Blanche realized she was certainly not fucking around. The thing twitched and wailed slightly before falling down dead. “Gross, gross, gross!” She mumbled, making a face before looking for more of its brethren that she could take out. Figuring Winston was done with the photos, she called out to them. “Alright, c’mere. Before the rest of the Krusty Krew get here. I need the axe, I want a claw.” she nudged one of them with her foot. Onces face had completely dissolved because of Cece’s acid, but the other one… It might work.

Winston sprung into action, circling around the chest taking photos from each side. They could thank their lucky stars that they were relatively tall and therefore easily able to lean over and take photos of the chest. It occurred to them in that very moment that they could’ve simply placed a camera on one of the drones that they had back at the house and done this with that. Apparently they were an idiot. Not allowing themselves to have time to regret their foolishness however, Winston dashed away from the chest a few moments after snapping their final photos. “I think I’ve got enough,” they said, slightly out of breath but surprised that their fitness had improved a little, maybe running for their life would actually have some long term benefits. As they arrived by Blanche’s side, they raised an eyebrow at her. “Are you joking?” they asked, knowing full well that she wasn’t. They gave her a look, before sighing and handing them the axe. “Fine, just hurry up before more of them find us.”

Blanche hoped they were right, but knew that she had to trust them. They definitely knew how to take photos on an iphone. Maybe she was just nervous. Blanche shook her worry off and shot them an equally withering look until they handed her the axe. “I need proof for Regan,” she said flatly. She did make it snappy, though. Deciding last moment that a claw was going to be too much of a bitch and a half to carry back (and heavy), Blanche went for the head. Or well, she stopped before she swung the axe, looking back at Winston. “... Don’t watch me chop off its head.” She mumbled, before waiting a moment, and swinging the axe. Gross. Gross. Gross. Her stomach churned, “ Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew.” Blanche shuddered slightly, before handing the axe back, before unzipping her jacket, shrugging it off, and collecting the now fallen head in it. Glad she had worn a sweater, she stood, looking up and down the beach. “Do you want to make a run for it back?” Blanche asked, flatly. “Before more of them decide to pop up and try to snap us in half?”

Winston had to admit that the last thing they expected was for all of this to go this well. Though they had been unfortunate enough as to run into Karkinoids, it seemed as if Blanche had been able to deal with them and as they handed their axe over, Winston had to admit there was a gentle sense of awe. “I don’t know who that is but if you need proof then this is probably a pretty sure fire way, although y’know, the denial can be strong. They were watching eagerly when Blanche protested, and with a groan of protest turned their back on the butchery that was taking place. Once Blanche was ready, they nodded. “Come on, let’s get out of here.” They set off towards the car, glad that this had gone so well. Things could be worse. 

“If she doesn’t believe me after me bringing her a giant Karkinoid head, I’m projectiling myself off the first cliff I see.” Blanche said, absolutely being dramatic. No one was dead, and they had a lobster head. Hah, Blanche thought, that rhymed. Pleased with the outcome of events, Blanche took off after Winston, trying not to slip and slide on the frozen sand. After all this was over and winter left, Blanche was going to spend a nice day on the beach, alone, and get a tan. No lobsters, no crabs, just one normal day in the fucking - was that more clicking? Blanche glanced over her shoulder. More crab,s but more interested in the caracusses of their fallen friends than them, for the moment. “Gogogo! Before they notice us and King Louis’ head!” Blanche hissed. They slid up to the rocks. “Do you need a boost?” Blanche asked, kindly, as Remmy had done the same for her and Cece the last time they were here. 

“Ah yes suicide, the only rational answer to irrational morons who refuse to see the truth.” Winston was sore, sweaty and out of breath. They had been far too close to lobsters for their liking and now they were in the presence of one of their heads. This day was truly turning out to be memorable. As more crabs arrived, Winston moved faster to the rocks and shook their head. “I think I’m tall enough to reach up on my own, I’ll boost you first and then you can help pull me up.” They didn’t give her anytime to argue, they weren’t about to start messing about with those lobsters again and they needed to get out of their quickly before the smell of one of the karkinoids dead brethren attracted some foes.

With no time to argue or say anything sarcastic - because she would have. Probably something giraffe related - Blanche let Winston help boost her up and once again scrambled to the safety of the small cliff. Dumping the head wrapped in her jacket onto the ground, she turned and reached a hand down to help them up. Once the both of them were safely away from where any Karkinoid could get them, Blanche let out a giant sigh of relief. “Holy shit -” She looked at Winston. “- That just worked! We did it! No one lost a limb! Or rolled an ankle!” Blanche pointed to their ankle, maybe a little too excited over the fact that neither of them died or got maimed. She bent, scooped up the lobster head and grabbed her keys to unlock her car and dump the head in the trunk. “Karkinoids my ass.”

[parkmin--seo]

+ Hey Dad!

Appa,

I was once told that if I wrote a letter to you, it would make me feel better because it’d be therapeutic or whatever, but I never got around to it because I was always worried it would make me feel silly… Which is absurd, because in thinking that, I was refusing to do yet another thing that people were telling me would help me heal. So… I guess this is my way of taking some small step in attempting to move on from it all… My way of trying to heal. I have no idea if it will work, because writing this letter won’t bring you back, but I’m willing to try anything and there’s so much that I wish I could say to you… So I’ll just write it here, even if I just burn the letter later.. At least I know I got to put it all on paper, let it out for even a minute. 

I’m sure if you were sitting across from me right now, the first thing you’d ask is how umma is doing… And I’m also aware that, wherever you are, if you’re watching over us… You can see how not okay she is. It isn’t your fault, appa. You didn’t choose to leave us. I know you would want nothing more than for her to be happy, but before I was born, you were her whole world and when you left… No, when you were killed, a part of her died that day, too. I’m worried that she won’t ever fully recover… 

I’m worried that I won’t ever recover.

The day I was told that you had been killed… I remember it like it was yesterday. Ms. Longwell was talking to us about The Holocaust, and she had just called on me to answer a question, when the Principal entered the room, escorted by a police officer. The second that Ms. Longwell’s gaze fell on me, I knew… I could see it in her eyes, that something was wrong, and this sick feeling settled in my gut and only worsened when I saw umma. She was as white as a sheet, the light had gone out in her eyes, and she looked like she’d just lost something she would never get back… And that was when they told me, that she really had lost something. That we both had. You were dead. Gone. Just like that…. I would never get to see you alive again.

I want to say that the first thing I did was cry, but… It was like I just shut down, the same way that mom did, except there was no one taking care of me. I shut out the whole world, pushed away the best friend that I had ever had and would ever have. I tried to cry, but the tears never came, no matter how hard I fought because I thought it would make me feel better… But I just felt nothing, that was until the day we learned that a man had been arrested for your murder, finally. That they’d caught the serial killer who had destroyed so many lives… And that man was Daniel.

I also remember the look on umma’s face that day, same as I remember what she looked like the day we were told that you’d been killed. There was so much anger and resentment and she looked so betrayed. I didn’t question what anyone was saying… I believed her, that he was the one who did it and so, I started hating him, too. And because I hated him and couldn’t take that anger out on him… I started hating Leo. The very best friend who I had shoved out of my life, I started to treat like a pariah and didn’t prevent any of our peers from doing the same.

I’m not proud of it, appa, but I was just a kid who had lost a parent and I wasn’t thinking of anything but my own pain. My own pain that I couldn’t let myself feel, so I built up this fantasy world… where you were still alive. I made up this story in my head that you were just on a case somewhere, or that you were undercover, and as the years passed, it turned into you being in the witness protection program, unable to contact your family but desperately missing us the same way that we missed you. 

And oh, did we miss you. I missed you, and the missing you got to be too much… It was after that, that umma decided to transfer me to Luxor. I thought I could start over here, and for a while, it did feel like a fresh start. I perfected this persona for myself, of this happy, sunshine girl who was made of titanium. I played the act so well that I even started to fool myself… until the day that I saw Leo again, and was forced to leave fantasy land behind and focus on the reality that I had been avoiding since I was ten years old. 

Remember when I said that I wasn’t proud of the way I treated Leo? I meant it… I still mean it. I know you wouldn’t be proud of me, for turning my back on someone so easily… Whatever Daniel did, it was never Leo’s fault and I know I can’t truly be angry with him for not believing that his dad could do something like that. If the shoe was on the other foot, I couldn’t think the worst of you, either, because you were the best dad. You always made time for us, for me, even though you were busy. You could have decided that your job was more important to you, but you never made me or umma feel like we were a burden. You loved us as much as, if not more, than we loved you. And that’s why I always thought it was so unfair… That someone so good, so undeserving of such a fate, could be ripped from the world so cruelly. 

I’m sorry I keep getting off subject, but… I just miss you so much, appa. Sometimes when I think about what happened to you, when Leo says all of those cruel things about how you died… I feel like I can’t breathe, like the truth is going to suffocate me. And that’s why I force myself to say all of those mean things back… Because I’m afraid of what I will do, or what will happen, if I don’t fake it. I just wish you were here, appa. I wish that you hadn’t taken a job as an agent, that you’d been, like… a doctor or a mechanic, or… I don’t know, anything less dangerous. 

Of course, I know that’s selfish. I know that you loved your job and that you were good at it. I know that you getting murdered wasn’t your fault, regardless of everything that Leo tries to fill my head with. You weren’t a bad man, or stupid, or wrong for doing what you loved, what you felt like you needed to do. You were my hero, appa. 

You’re still my hero. Always. 

I’m sorry if I’m letting you down. I don’t mean to. I just don’t know what else to do. 

Saranghaeyo, Appa — Minnie Mouse

[i-can-summon-yams]

Jasiper: A Review

Jason and Piper are comfortable together. Their relationship is something familiar to fall back on in the midst of chaos and a logical voice to talk things over with, a safe space to confess fears and regrets. They each understand the other in times of crisis because they’ve been there, trapped in that exact mental cage, they know what it’s like to have the world give you nothing and expect everything from you in return, they know the pressures of leadership and fame and the crippling fear of failure.

Their relationship is a way to bring “normal” with them as everything else gets shaken up, and a reminder that they’ve done at least one thing right.

Their relationship was each of their first act of rebellion against expectations- Jason dating a Greek, Piper refusing to break his heart, but it wasn’t just rebellion for rebellion’s sake. It was their first active step toward taking charge of their own fates and making life better for themselves. The fact that their were some selfish motives for dating on both of their parts just shows how healthy their relationship was, because they were both able to fight for their own needs from the start; they don’t need each other to survive, they are individuals who are cholsing to work through life together.

Jason and Piper’s relationship was doomed from the start, but it wasn’t their fault. They met in the most artificial way, with Piper having literal fake memories of their relationship; with Jason having no idea what he wanted or who he was, so how could he know what he wanted in a relationship; with Piper under the stress of having to betray her friends; and yet, they still fought tooth and nail to make it work out. They’re insanely honest with each other, which is more of a side-effect of how accepting they each are. Just look at how Jason reacted when Piper told him about her dreams and how she’d been planning on backstabbing them, look at how Jason is awkward but not afraid of telling Piper about Reyna and New Rome. They listen to each other in a way that noone’s listened to the other before, and it’s not for their own gain: they honestly want to get to know each other and gain their trust

And Jason and Piper trust each other so much. Piper lets him set her ankle in The Lost Hero (which is so vulnerable I don’t think you understand), Jason trusts Piper to treat his sword wound. True,they don’t really have a choice, but psychologically, you can’t force yourself to be that vulnerable around someone without justifying it to yourself, so the insane amounts of trust are there now, even if they weren’t before. The only time that we see them keep things from each other is Piper in the Mark of Athena and Jason in The Burning Maze, and both times it’s a prophecy that they will die. Telling each other things is like telling things to themselves, and they only refuse to say things that they also won’t even tell themselves yet, so it can’t even be called keeping secrets. Also, both of them eventually come to and tell the other, because they know that problems do become easier to tackle when they’re facing them together.

Jason and Piper give each other unbelievable amounts of strength. They are something to fight for, something to stay alive for because life can’t be that bad if it has the other in it. They are justification for the entire fight, a reason humans need to defeat Gaia and survive, proof that the world is worth saving, even when they don’t care about saving themselves.

Jason and Piper love each other so much, it scared them sometimes. Neither was really dependant on anyone before: Jason was at the top of the chain at Camp Jupiter, Piper floated around without any connection to a specific place or school, but suddenly it feels like they can’t live without the other. They fought to be together, they worked hard to be honest, trusting, loyal, kind, understanding, but they didn’t fight to be dependant. The nonstop ache in each of their hearts whenever they saw each other, the electricity when they kissed, the pure honesty of their conversations that shattered emotional walls, it all got to be too much sometimes. Being so far in love changes you, the way you think, you start to see the world around you as your love would, you trust your love more than yourself, emotions and logic tangle until you can’t tell them apart, and when you’re only fifteen (which they both were in The Lost Hero and The Mark of Athena), and your relationaship is rushed in a matter of months, and you don’t have a family to talk things through with, just a few friends who know even less than you, it can be terrifying.

At camp half blood, then on the Argo II, they didn’t have time to take a break. Their relationship was the only break they got. They were fifteen, but the fate if the entire world was on their shoulders. They didn’t literally hold up the sky, but they were being crushed nonetheless. Neither of them could afford to think of the consequences of their relationship, to disagree in small ways like a healthy couple should, because if their relationship fell apart at this point, they might not have anything left. So they stuck together, they talked strategy and training, they talked Gaea and monsters, they tried not to think about “an oath to keep with a final breathe” impending, about Percy and Annabeth in Tartarus, about the camps at war, about what would come after, about if there would be an after. They were so young and there was so much weight on their shoulders and they needed to stay sane and stay alive and stay fighting.

And then the war ended. And things were okay, sort of. The world kept turning, the camps made peace, Jason and Piper at least survived. Nevermind that Leo, their closest mutual friend was dead, and they’d have to throw away all their plans of life after war being spent with the three of them. (They had so many friends but still felt so incredibly alone). Nevermind that Piper lived so far from camp she’d have to choose between spending her time at Camp Half Blood, which was never home, with siblings she never really cared about, or going back to a father who did his best, but would have no idea what she had been through. Can you even get a therapist for this type of thing? Any mortal would think she’s crazy, but let me tell you, she needs some psychological help. Nevermind that Jason has never experienced normal life at all; his greatest wishes throughout the series were to be normal: worry about a driver’s liscense, have a home, all pretty standard teen things, and yet he didn’t get them yet.

So they move out to California: Piper with her dad and Jason at a boarding school, and things are sort of okay. But then communications are down, and these teens, living a hundred miles apart and trying to put their demigod pasts behind them and just have calm life for ONE SECOND, can’t talk. Phones don’t work, email doesn’t work, snail mail doesn’t work, and travel comes with a rediculously high chace of death. And these absolute lovesick idiots still manage to keep in touch somehow. There’s tension: of course there’s tension! The biggest cause of stress is a major lifestyle change and look what’s happening. The second biggest cause of stress is death of a loved one and look what happened. And these are both teenagers, now 16, with noone else to talk to about what was both the best and worst time of their lives.

Eventually their relationship stops working out. They started this as a way to stop following orders from the world, to follow their own dreams for the future, and dating isn’t helping with that anymore. They need a chance to be children, a chance to try new things, and constantly worrying about each other without being able to do anything about it isn’t going to let either of them move forward, past the Argo II, past hopes for Leo, past all of it.

So they break up. They break up and it sucks, and they don’t have anyone to talk to about who would fully understand, and Piper tells Mellie that Jason broke up with her because that’s easier to explain than the entire disaster this all is. They break up, and it’s also great, because it feels like chains that held them to the past are finally snapping, they’re free. Breaking up doesn’t mean they have to hate each other, it doesn’t mean they can’t talk, it just means there are no expectations left, maybe they can finally be free for a moment from all the responsiblity.

And it only lasts a moment, because soon they’re called to the burning maze and thrown back into the midst of things. And maybe Piper doesn’t admit it, but she likes this better, she likes the drama and the action and having something to do, because it’s way better than sitting bored with mortals who don’t even pretend to empathize as her home is taken away. And maybe Jason doesn’t admit it, but he hates this, hates being ripped away from the normal life he’s been trying so hard to build; he just wants to go back to his project and his classes. And maybe they talk about it, maybe they don’t, but the tensions between them is getting harder and harder to work through

And then Jason gets the prophecy: either he or Piper is going to die, and he can’t handle it, not really. When they finally talk about it, they have to admit to themselves how much they still love each other, how they can never escape their relationship entirely, except they have to, because they won’t get much longer together. They’re back in the midst of battle and all the comfort, all the honesty, all the safety and trust and LOVE is back in an instant, they were made for this, Piper was made for this and she doesn’t want to met go.

And then Jason is dead. Gone. Forever. He’s not coming back in anyway, they cannot be friends, lovers, allies, anything.

And Piper’s not okay, not at first. It’s pain that she hasn’t felt before, it’s worse than Leo, because at least she was on good terms with Leo, at least she knows Leo he had a plan, at least she didn’t have to go through the trauma of WATCHING Leo die. Plus, Leo’s death never felt permanent. But Jason, he’s gone, and she knows he’s gone, and she can feel his absence, and it hurts so so so much and she can’t handle it. She blames Apollo. She blames Caligula. She blames herself. She doesn’t blame Jason, because she can’t actually handle thinking about him for too long right now. She doesn’t want to exist in a world without him, she doesn’t want to keep fullfilling dumb quests for gods who don’t care.

Eventually, though, Piper is going to be okay. She has a home and a family in Oklahoma who might not know details, but they do offer support. She has Mellie and Hedge, who do know, who will listen if she just opens up. She has Leo back, that’s some comfort, and she knows theres a safehouse in Indiana waiting for her if she ever wants to live with her BFF. Camp Jupiter is still open, and they’d better have actual therapists, and if nothing else, she’d be safe and surrounded by friends. Then there’s camp half blood, which is a good home, and her siblings aren’t as bad as she remembered, and it has the drama and chaos she’s grown addicted to. And Thalia’s offer to join the Hunters still stands, if Piper ever wants to really embrace being different, being free from a specific place or even a specific time, floating like she was before except now she has actual friends.

Jason isn’t going to stop haunting her memories anytime soon, she’s not going to forget him, or even stop hurting anytime soon. But in the end, she does have friends, she does have more than one home, and most importantly, she has a future because of Jason’s sacrifice. Even if she doesn’t know what she’s going to do with it, she has a future, and that’s something. She’s not okay, but she can be, she will be, eventually. And if Jason did nothing else with his life, at least he let Piper have one.

[japanstopbrawler1992]

READ ME

ZERO TOLERANCE FOR RACIST CHASERS/GAY-FOR-STRAIGHT-CONSUMPTION/OOC TRANSPHOBIA/ANY RACISM WHATSOEVER UNLESS SHOWN AS BAD BY NARRATIVE AND CONFINED TO AGREED UPON PLOTTING

I set Savers in its airing year, so Masaru was born in '92. Can take place anytime after episode 49. However, there just won't be any explicit sexual content regardless of when the thread takes place. I also don't auto-ship: I'm here to walk a character through things, so ships will all be more slow-burn. Also, while Masaru's just pan, I'm actually asexual, so don't even expect me to present beyond a textbook understanding of sexual attraction

Masaru's kind of a jerk. My other two muses are generally at least kind unless the other person isn't, but Masaru's kind of abrasive and gleefully violent. If we're playing, I'll probably warn you beforehand, but Masaru may snap at your muse if your muse isn't a little kid. If your muse didn't deserve it, he'll probably apologise at some point, but yeah, this muse is even less like me than 02's Ken (Bleach's Ichigo is my muse most like me)

I'm on mobile. Period. I can't cut threads. I usually just tag "long post." Can't cut threads.

Seen JP ver only. Haven't seen any others, and I have no reason to bother--the original's in my native. Why would I bother with "orange juice bomb"?

Masaru is mixed race here. In a planned project that's a sister project to my Bleach project I already got a bit of stuff up for, Masaru's mum is Japanese and Russian, and related to Junpei of Frontier, and Masaru's dad was Japanese and Afghani. Masaru actually does speak Japanese, Russian, and Persian.

Masaru's also trans here. He never got puberty blockers, but he finally got testosterone at 13. So his voice changed at a pretty normal age. But he does need a binder and all that. (He loved that black tank top he wears after the memory wipe because it was just the right cut to cover the binder while showing off his arm muscles!) He does someday want kids, and Japanese law, like most US states or most places, requires sterilisation to recognise gender change. His papers also say a different first name. Of course, this probably came up with Satuma. Satuma and payroll at DATS probably know all about it. But being trans isn't *as* hard in Japan as the Anglophonic world. Especially thanks to Kamikawa Aya advocating on outlets like NHK radio since '95, which Masaru would be three then.

I toss the epilogue. Don't like the losing their digimon, and Masaru ditching his family he feels so responsible for and his dad he just got back?

Actually, in my project, ep 48 never happens. Suguru is dead, DATS remains, and Sayuri gets BanchouLeomon as her digimon partner.

Oh, another rule--poor spelling and grammar is acceptable if you are not a native speaker. It infuriates me to no end that I'm supposed to be an idiot for being fluent in three just because English is not my first, but native speakers get to run around spelling "bins" "ben's" and congratulating themselves for "kohnichuwa" but I get beaten/decried for actually knowing the language... And also, ,ZERO TOLERANCE for "garnish my human default English with exotic Japanese uwu" See "zero tolerance for chasers and racism"

Totally available to play in Japanese or Spanish, but you must be fluent.

Masaru lives in Tobechou, Yokohama. I went to the Chinatown in Yokohama once with my dad, but I lived in Koube. And we didn't leave Hanshin region all that much. My knowledge of much outside there being a Chinatown in the '80s (obviously still there, as it was the setting for the Savers movie) and big landmarks like Minatomirai is minimal. I also haven't been back to Japan period since '94. My relatives there are all deceased since the '90s, and flights alone are 1,000$, which, until recently, was definitely over a month of rent. Two for a studio, one plus a couple hundred for a 1 or 2LDK, depending. Might even have had 1.5 baths. By the time Savers was airing in Japan, I was able to keep up with Japanese news via now-gone Japanese-language broadcasts in California, as well as the Web, which is also how I saw Savers. But my knowledge of Japanese things may run the risk of being almost 30 years out of date. Or it might be completely current because I still read Asahi News, the most left-leaning paper I can find. Unsure if related to Hanshin region channel 6, but channel 6 was the best when I was there.

The Daimon family didn't move when Masaru came out, but he came out pretty young. It's just difficult to get trans care for minors. That being said, most peers don't know he's trans. They do know he's mixed, though. That being said, it's not like it's *only* him fighting racist bullies. It's only partially that. Like I said, I fully acknowledge he's pretty abrasive. So he's not completely blameless for all the fights. He could easily someday be the kind of parent who gets arrested for punching a rival dad. Violence is not a last resort for him. It's the best resort.

I do multi-para and don't use icons. But I'm not asking for an exact word count match. All I ask is give me stuff to go off of in replies and for Heaven's sake, do *not* format like House of Leaves when you play with me. Format button abuse looks like a visual panic attack, and is just too chaotic for me to read.

I may go spotty on replies with you. I'll still chat with you via the messenger thingy, and I don't play with people I've never spoken to, even if I've started the interaction, because I need to filter for my sanity, so I need to know the people I play with aren't gonna pull racism or something on me, but when my replies slow, it's because I work on-call at a shelter for seriously physically ill people, I'm also disabled myself, and I don't have the ability to put enough energy for the high-quality replies I strive to give in at the moment. I'm stalling because I want to give you my best. If I want to drop a thread, which is admittedly rare, I'll let you know. I won't leave you guessing.

Some h/cs just for fun

Masaru loves metal. The metal I know is 70s prog and 80s glam metal and stuff. I don't really like much music past about '94, and exactly two albums after 2000 (neither are metal)

Masaru has always had the same kind of attention span I have now even though I completely didn't when I was younger. He's running commentary if you watch an movie with him, his biggest problem with school is the whole sitting and passively listening to a lecture part, he thinks he doesn't like reading because others always talk about sitting there and reading for hours on end (if he's older, he may have realised it's OK to read for 20-minute bursts, something I eventually realised, too). He only really learns by doing. That being said, depending on age, he may not have had the chance to *realise* that yet.

He wouldn't become a sumo wrestler, but he totally watches it. Honestly, any fighting sport, and he's there.

He's very Japanese as far as religion. Sort of takes part and believes in a lot of them at the same time, but none are a overly influential part of his life. This is a thing.

Crossovers with any season preceding Savers are pretty easy with this blog considering my project. The project will eventually merge with the Bleach project, toi, so I also have a thing for that. Overall, I welcome crossovers with most animated media. Live action, I'll consider if you don't use icons with me (it ends up looking like Who Framed Roger Rabbit in my head) I don't do any real person stuff beyond, say, having Masaru listen to real bands or know of other public figures.

There is also a flexibility in playing Masaru in other countries. He could visit family in Russia or Afghanistan, he can be sent over from DATS to help with digimon appearances in countries allied with Japan (coughcontroloverjapanliketheuscough) or I totally ship him with Touma, so he could be in whatever that country is (obviously a Germanic nation in Western Europe)

He's definitely leftist, but his tactics aren't really common among the left. Typically, it's the fascists that will throw the first punch. Except Masaru will, as well. Unfortunately, this means he can take *away* from, say, antifa efforts to counter demo anti-Korean rioters.

He looks down on most weapon use, but probably none more so than guns and other weapons that remove the user from the target. To him, anyone who hides safely behind a weapon and makes the fight so one-sided is a coward. To this extent, he thinks war should be done away with and the leaders of the countries should duel instead of America just wiping out thousands of Japanese (WWII) or Afghani (during his lifetime) civilians (well, in that war, it was definitely not the Afghani government's fault, as that was a radical rebel sect powered initially by Regean, but it was most certainly civilian deaths en masse)

Masaru cannot meditate at all. He's also very reactive. To that extent, he's never really done well with martial arts. There's a lot less focus on self-discipline in boxing and wrestling than in Aikido or karate or what have you. He'd probably love the intensity of Krav Maga or CQC. I just don't know if Krav Maga has a self-discipline component. CQC almost certainly doesn't--it's American.

More when I think of it.

[doomdays-a]

━━ FULL NAME:   tracy  stewart

━━ SPECIES:     chimera  made  up  of  part  werewolf +   part  kanima

━ GUILTY PLEASURES:   eating  spiders,      paralyzing  people  for  fun  or  for  torture,       art,     conspiracy  theories,     horror  stories,     power

━ PHOBIAS:    autophobia,    ornithophobia,     paralipophobia

━ WHAT THEY WOULD BE FAMOUS / INFAMOUS FOR:      she  wouldn’t  be  famous  for  anything  on  her  own,       it  would  be  a  piggy  back  to  someone  else  because  she  is  a  follower,    not  a  leader.        

━ WHAT HAVE THEY / WOULD THEY HAVE GOTTEN ARRESTED FOR:   there  has  been  a  warrant  for  her  arrest  for  the  murder  of  her  father  &   her  therapist,     but  when  she  died,    she  was  able  to  escape  that  attention    (     now  mostly  hiding  out,     finding  it  easy  given  that  many  people  didn’t  know  her  before  her  death.    )  

━ CHARACTER MOST LIKELY TO MURDER THEM:    it  seems  obvious  to  say  theo  but  i  also  want  to  remind  everyone  that  killing  tracy  wasn’t  part  of  theo’s  agenda.      he   didn’t  make  it  his  goal  to kill  her.     he  didn’t  genuinely  care  for  her  as  a  person  or  believe  that  he  couldn’t  survive  without  her,     &    he  certainly  didn’t  care  for  her  romantically,      but  she  was  important  to  him  in  the  sense  that  she  was  a  loyal  beta   &    could  help  him  reach  his  goals     (   he  wanted  power,    that’s  what  mattered  to  him.     &     tracy  wanted  theo  to  have  power,      she  wouldn’t  stand  in  his  way  of  that  like  most  people  tried   ——   she  was  only  there  to  help   &    get  rid  of  anyone  who  might  stand  in  his  way.   )      he  saw  an  opportunity      &    took  it,     acting  out  of  impulse  when  he  believed  that  taking  her  power  right  then    &   there  could  be  a  key  to  his  success.        he  assumed  he  didn’t  need  her    &   had  to  do  it  for  his selfish  gain.     i  would  say  theo  is  most  likely  to  murder  her  only  in  a  situation  like  that,       because  he  did  want  a  pack  for  a  reason,    &    tracy  was  a  perfect  beta   for  him.        beyond  that,     tracy  provokes  many  people   without  thinking  about  it.        she  believes  that  she  is  POWERFUL   &   indestructible,     all  because  the newfound  confidence  that  she  never  had  before  makes  her  feel  invincible  to  everything   ——   but  that  often  gets  her  in  trouble.     she  provokes  many  people  who  are  STRONGER  than  her,     even  more  powerful,      just  because  she’s  way  in  over  her  head   ——-    so  it  wouldn’t  surprise  me  if  there  were  other  characters  who  would  at  least  try  to  kill   her.    

━ FAVORITE BOOK GENRE:   she’s  really  interested  in  mythology     &   trying  to  decipher  whether  or  not  it’s  real,     or  how  any  of  these  myths  might  fit  into  her  current  life.      she  was  very  interested  in  the  book  about  the  dread  doctors because  it  felt  very  real  to  her    (    because  it  was.   )      she  has  also  always  been  interested  in  horror,    often  reflected  in  her  art  as  she  likes  to  draw  out  the  characters.    

━ LEAST FAVORITE BOOK CLICHE:      it’s  not  so  much  cliches  that  she  hates,      as  much  as  general  topics.      romance  is  incredibly  BORING  to  her      (   something  she  was  never  interested  in  before  her  death    &    certainly  seemed  minuscule  when  she  came  back  to  life.    )         as  for  cliches,    though,      she  hates  the  cliche  of  the  quiet,     weird  girl becoming  popular.       she  resonates  with  characters  like  that,     &    it  makes  her  feel  uneasy  to  think  that  these  girls  actually  fall  into  a  life  of  popularity  because  that’s  not  what  she  wants.        she doesn’t  need a  lot  of  friends,      she  just  needs  a  few  people  whom  she  matters  to    &   can  provide  some  kind  of  purpose.      

━ TALENTS AND / OR POWERS:       talented  in  art    (    with  a  style  leaning  towards  the  darker  side.    )     includes  drawing,    painting,    sculpture,     etc.        powers  include  the  ability  to  paralyze  someone,     grow claws    &     fangs,     cover  her  body  in  scales,    produce  venom,       accelerated  healing,      super  strength  /  speed,        heightened  senses,      can  climb  on  walls  /   ceilings,       etc.       most  werewolf    &   kanima  powers  except  she  cannot  fully  shift  to  either     &     does  not  have  the  ability  to  heal  others.

━ WHY SOMEONE MIGHT LOVE THEM:     she’s  loyal    (   to  a  fault,    sometimes.    )       she  doesn’t  care  about  many  people,      &    it  takes  a  lot  to  get  her  to  care,     but  once  she  does,     she  will  never  let  you  down     &    do  everything  she  can  to  show  you  that.        you  can  count  on  her,      you  can trust  her   ——-    but  ONLY  if  you  hold  an  importance  in  her  life.    

━ WHY SOMEONE MIGHT HATE THEM:     she’s  loyal.       even  when  she  has  every  reason  not  to  trust  someone,       she won’t  change her  perspective  on  them  if  they’re  important  to  her.      this  is  especially  trust  in  my  main  verse,      set  after  theo  has  attempted  to  kill  her     &   take  her  power.       because  theo  is  the  only  person  she  has  ever  truly  felt  a  connection  to  given  their  alpha   /   beta   +    master   /   kanima  relationship,      it’s  very  difficult  to  change  her  stance  on  him.     people  will  try  to  save  her,     warn  her  that  it’s  a  bad  idea  to  keep  following  him,     &     even  show  her  exactly  what  he  has  done  to  give  her  reason  not  to  trust  him   ——-   but  that  won’t  matter.      she  feels  guilty  for  not  giving  up her  powers  to  him    &    believes  she  should  have  died  instead  of  him.       she’s  stubborn  in  that  sense   &   won’t  see  another  character’s  views  even  when  they  have  proof     &    reason  not  to  trust  him.       this  would  apply  to  anyone  who  has  real  power  over  tracy.    

━ HOW THEY CHANGE:   tracy  has  a  wide  range  of  character  development   (    not  necessarily  the  GOOD  kind   )      &   it’s  a  little  hectic  to  write  sometimes.      i  have  four  main  canon  verses,    &     she’s  VERY  different  within  each  of  them,      which  honestly  makes  it  a  little  difficult  to  throws  things  at  people  randomly  rather  than  plotting  beforehand.      i’ll  discuss  tracy  before  her  death,      during  her  time  in  the  pack,    &   post  theo.        before  being  affected  by  the  supernatural,       she  was  a  shy,     quiet,     passive  girl  without  many  friends.         she  wasn’t  really  important  to  anyone     (     not  even  her  family     )       &    she  didn’t  have  any  connections  to  anyone.       she  was  just  getting  by  without  anyone.        then,     she  kills  her  dad     &   her  therapist     but  she  thinks  she’s  DREAMING.          more  people  notice  her  now     &     they’re  trying  to  save  her.       she  has more  attention  on  her  than  she’s  ever  had     &     that  makes  it  even  more  scary.        she  doesn’t  know  what’s  happening  to  her  but  she  keeps   trying  to  pretend  it’s  NOT  HAPPENING  because  that  makes  it  easier  to  process.        her  transition  is  really  interesting  to  me  because  it  is  so  dramatic  once  she  gets  through  it.        after  her  death     &   when  theo  brings  her  back  to  life,       she  becomes  an  entirely  different  person.       she  is  finally  able  to  shed  the  life  of  the  quiet  girl    &   become  something  so  much  more  than  what  she  was.         &     she  has  people  who  matter  to  her  now,       &     she’s  determined  to  do  whatever  theo  needs  her  to  do  because  he  offers  her  a  real  purpose  now.        her  change  is  a  complete  180;      she’s  darker,      she  has  more  confidence,      &    she’s  ruthless.         she’s  no  longer  passive,     but  she’s  violent    &   blunt.        to  save  myself  from  rambling  i’ll  link  to THIS  HEADCANON  POST.        in  my  canon  divergent  main  verse      (    in  which  i  find  reasoning  for  tracy  to  be  alive  now     )         she  survived  theo’s  attack,       but  she  doesn’t  change  much  from  when  he  was  alive.       she  still   feels in  debt  to  him  for  bringing  her  to  life     &    for  creating  a  monster  out  of  her;       she  still  sees  him  as  her  alpha   &   her  master,       &   he’s  the  reason  she  deserves  to  survive  at  all.       she  feels  guilty  that  he  died     &     she  survived  when  she  believes  that  she  should  have given  her  power  up  to  him      &    thinks  that  would  have  saved  him.       she’s  even  more  BITTER  towards  the  mccall  pack  because  she  blames  them      (    but  not  before  she  blames  herself.    )        she’s  still  loyal  to  a  man  who  doesn’t  deserve it.

━ WHY YOU LOVE THEM:    i’m  going  to  try  not  to  ramble,      but  i’ve  been  roleplaying  for  7+   years  now,      &     no  character  has  reached  my  love  for  tracy.        i’ve  never  taken  so  much  time  to  develop  someone,     especially  someone  with  such little  screen time as  her.      but  that’s  why  she’s  interesting  to  me,       she  isn’t  on  screen  much,     but  when  she  is,     there  is  so  much  to  look  into about  her  character.       the  first  time  i  watched  s5,     i  couldn’t  stand  tracy,     simply  because  i  thought  she  was  a  character  they  just  brought  on  to  kill  off    (    &   she  was    )      but  i  didn’t  think  there  was  any  substance  to  her.      it wasn’t  until  the  scene  theo  killed  her that  i  started  to  really  think  about  her  character    &   who  she  really  was.        her  mind  is  so  interesting  to  me.      she  was  dead  for  a  month    &    came  back  to  an  entirely  NEW  world  for  her   ——-    she  was  no  longer  a  quiet  girl  in  the  shadows;      she  was  a powerful  creature who  could  hurt  someone  with  just  a  touch  of  her  fingers.      &   she  took  advantage  of  that,     embracing  her  new  life    &    becoming  what  she     (    thought  she   )     was  supposed  to  be.      i  find  that  transition  so incredibly  interesting   &   i  can’t  ever  get  over  it.       she  was  once  a  passive  girl  who  liked  to  pretend  that  the  bad  things  weren’t  happening,      ignoring  her  problems  in  hopes  that  they  would  just  go  away   &   she  would  be  fine.      &  now,     she’s  the  one  creating  the  problems,     causing  destruction,     embracing  a  lifestyle  that  she  once  feared.       there  is  something  deucalion  says  to  her  that  is  so  important  to  me    &   really  gives  insight  on  tracy’s  character.        “   it’s  the  truly  powerless  who  are  all  too  eager  to  demonstrate  their  newfound  strength.    “        before   this,       she  was  powerful,      she  couldn’t  hurt  anyone,      &    she  couldn’t  even  stand  up  for  herself.         now,      she  had  power,     but  she  often  wasted  her  potential,     only  using  her  power  at  the  order  of  her  alpha.      but  she  was  COCKY,     often  overestimating  herself.     she  thinks  she  can  get  through  anyone    (    attacking  parrish,     trying  to  get  lydia  on  her  own,     going  against  scott,     etc.   )      but   more  often  than not,     she  FAILS,     all  because  she’s  too  convinced  that  she  is  in   indestructible.        i  love  that.     i  love  how  much  she  relies  on  being  in  a  pack,      i  love  how  much  faith  she  puts  in  theo,    &     i  love  how  loyal  she  is  to  someone  who doesn’t  genuinely  care about  her  the  way  she  cares  for  him,      all   because  i  find  it  so  INTERESTING.       the  dynamic   between  her   &    theo  is  very  important,     it  shows  a  lot  about  their  characters  individually.      she  is  so  fiercely  loyal that  she  is  barely  a  person  on  her  own,     &    i  think  getting  into  her  mindset  has  been  the  most  fun     &   challenging  for  me,     out  of  any  character  i  have  written.       she  is  someone  i  love  talking  about    &    discussing   &    constantly  coming  up  with new  headcanons  because  i  know  that  she  is  a  very  overlooked  character  (   once  by  me  too   )       &    people  don’t  care  to  take  the  time  to  get  to  know  her,       but  she’s  so  important  to  me????       &    yes,     i  am  sad  that  she  is  dead,      but  honestly,     her  storyline  was  perfect  in  my  eyes.     dying  at  the  hands  of  someone  who  was  that  important  to  her  really  establishes  more  of  her  character      &    i  think  it  was  a  good  way  to  end  her  storyline.     &   i’ll  be  honest,     i  can’t  picture  her  in  the  current   timeline.     i don’t  believe  she  would  ever  like  or  trust  scott’s  pack  after  everything,     especially  without  theo there.     i  think  she  would  just  cause  more  destruction  that  isn’t  connected  to  the  storyline    &   it  would  be  messy.       i  love  tracy  more  than  any  character,    truly,     but  i’m  willing  to  admit   that  she  doesn’t  really  have  a  place  there   &    fitting  her  in  would  probably  ruin  her  development       (    &    redemption  or  any  attempts  to SAVE  HER from  what  she  had  become  would  be  boring  to  me.       especially  because  i  don’t  think  she  would  give  in.     )        why  do  i  always  ramble,     why  can’t  i  just  say  why  i  love  her  in  simple  words?      anyway  i  love  tracy.

[mutantsrisingrpg]

Congratulations, DEL! You’ve been accepted as IO.

Del, I didn’t want to stop reading your app, and honestly? I’m a little mad that it had to end. But that makes me all the more excited to see you continue Cain’s journey on the dash! When it came to Cain’s bio, I really felt that you nailed the dichotomy between healing and hurting that was central to his skeleton. I especially loved the way he saw his abilities as curse-like at first, and how he’s been able to separate what his hands can do versus what they want to do. If Cain punched me, I’d thank him.

Welcome to Mutants Rising! Please read the checklist and submit your account within 24 hours.

Out of Character Information: 

NAME/ALIAS: Del.

PRONOUNS: they/them

AGE: 24

TIMEZONE & ACTIVITY LEVEL: HST. Tbh about a 7...maybe a 6. I'm in classes and a full time internship so I can be a bit slow but I always try to keep my activity up as best as I can!

In Character Information:

DESIRED ROLE: CAIN

GENDER/PRONOUNS: he/him

DETAILS & ANALYSIS: 

So when I was reading some tips for Cain I accidentally misread it as “fists born to heal” and I really ran with that idea for a hot minute and a half. 

For me, Cain is like a baseball bat to the face. He's blunt and brutal and effective. He isn't interested in politics or the nuanced exchange of power and intrigue that weave through the city like a web. He's a simple man. He has simple desires. He wants to hit stuff that pisses him off. He wants to protect the people he cares about. Thats the entire reason he sticks with the Jem Family, because being a mutant fucking sucks and that's society's fault, so fuck society. 

I really want a Cain who is very straightforward. If some people are...layered ...like onions, then Cain is the type of person who’s more like a rock. Try to peel back his layers and you will accomplish only two things: 1) fucking up your hands real bad, and 2) realizing that there’s nothing underneath. With Cain, what you see is what you get. And what you get is a man who is perpetually angry and probably wants to fight you.

He is aggressive and he is angry at both a micro and a macro level and he is willing to shake the city down the bedrock if that’s what it will take to beat some sense into people. He’s not interested in maintaining peace or compliance as tensions in the city rise higher and higher. He doesn’t want to hurt people who don’t deserve to be hurt but he’s willing to do what he needs to do (though I think it’ll be interesting as conflicts and events arise to explore how willing Cain actually is to make sacrifices and see collateral damage happen). Cain wants to see the world change and he doesn’t mind if it burns a little first. I fully believe that he’ll be a big mover and shaker and shit instigator. 

BIOGRAPHY:

The anger is with him all along.

It's a cyclical kind of story. His father’s father meets some poor woman, makes a baby with her, and leaves. Over two decades later his father does the same thing. This time he clears out their joint bank account before he disappears. 

Cain hates his grandfather and his father. He hates that part of them is part of him, buried in his blood and his bones. They ruin his life and neither of them stick around to see it happen. The older he gets the more of his father he will see in the mirror, and the angrier he will become. 

His ma is a good woman. She is a good mother. She doesn’t deserve to be married to his deadbeat, chickenshit father. 

Cain adores her. She does her best. She doesn't complain when his father leaves, she doesn't even resent him for being such a shitty husband. When it becomes clear that his time out on the road is the type of time out on the road that never ends, she just sighs a deep, sad sigh from the middle of her chest. Cain will always remember that sigh, the way it sounds. It is like a reverse Pandora's box' all the hope emptying out of her at once and leaving only the bad shit behind.

She has a kid to raise and she does it without complaint. She works herself to the bone to keep him warm and keep him fed. She cleans for a living. The work is hard and the pay is shit. The hours are long.  Cain spends a lot of nights waiting for her to come home. She comes back sore and tired and aching. Sometimes she is barely able to stand. Cain learns how to help as quickly as he can. Maybe this is where the healing starts; him and his mother, his hands running over her back, knuckles digging into the knots of tight, angry, wrong, and digging into them until they slowly break apart. 

All of the cards are stacked against him as a kid. for most of his childhood he is a shrimp with no father. He is a dirt poor. His mother works all of the time. He's not that smart and he's not that friendly. He is at the very bottom of a very long social  food chain. He gets into fights often and he is destined to lose most of them. A lot of his time is spent getting hit. He uses up the rest crying, hot angry tears in his room, alone. He makes few friends. As soon as he's old enough to fake fourteen, and even a little before that, he works. He rides newspaper routes and scrubs dishes and fixes cars and mows lawns and does anything anybody tells him to as long as it will get him paid.

There's no magical thirteenth year for Cain. He never goes away for summer and comes back gigantic. Growing up is a slow, laborious process that ticks by in centimeters and inches. There's a time where he's small and scrawny and always picking fights and always losing them. Then he starts losing them less. Eventually he isn't losing any at all. His bullies start to look small and scrawny themselves and they start to leave him alone unless there's enough of them that they think they can all gang up on him at once, but after awhile even those fights are ones that Cain can win. 

That’s about when he starts to get paid to fight. This time he gets to fight in a ring. He’ll never get his chance at becoming a boxer or some MMA jackass but he’ll come pretty close. There’s no star power in Cain. He’s an angry, ragged son of a bitch. He’s got the charisma of a fly. People don’t like him much on principal. No one is ever glad to see him win a fight except maybe his mother. But you don’t have to be well liked to win, and Cain does win. He wins a lot. Eventually people start to show up to watch him fight.

That’s how he finds his father again.

Chicago is a big city. It's the kind of place where you can meet someone and never see them again for a decade, maybe two if you didn't get out much.

He’s just finished a fight in some seedy arena on the west side of town. He’s won in a single, brutal knock out and some people are excited about that but most people are pissed off that there wasn’t more of a show. Cain’s ignoring whatever the fuck people are yelling at him and Cain is just tryign to leave so he can peel of his dumbass shorts in the bathroom and go home.

And there’s a man in the crowd in front of him. He’s staring at him. Cain stares back.

He is older than Cain remembers, and he is shabbier. There’s a beer gut where there wasn’t one before and his arms are thinner. His face is lined with wrinkles and his teeth are yellow. A few are missing. If Cain were anyone else he might not recognize him

But a boy always knows his father and a man always remembers someone he hates.

This is what he remembers in that moment as his hands curl up into fists. He is a kid. He is watching his mama make some calls. She’s asking around to see if anyone has seen his father. He knows what she knows but refuses to admit. No one has seen him. No one has heard from him in days. He is gone and he is not coming back. 

Eventually she dials that bank. Cain isn’t really sure what she’s talking about but he knows that it’s not good. His mother’s face goes pale and her lips go tight and thin and she nods along to whatever the man on the other line is saying even though it’s clear she’s not listening to him anymore.

She says her goodbyes in a tight, polite voice. It only shakes a little at the very end. Then she hangs up and she sighs that sigh. It’s going to stay with him all his life. His father leaving doesn’t destroy his mother. It just hollows her out. That’s worse in Cain’s opinion. 

He is only 12. But even 12 year olds can want to kill people. He swears that if he ever sees his daddy again, he’s going to beat him dead. 

In 15 years the anger is still there, pure and white hot. It will always be there. It will always be waiting. 

He jumps out of the ring in one easy lunge and then he’s on top of his dad. He’s punching him in the face. The man spits blood and broken teeth. Cain is hitting him again and again and again and again. His hands feel hot, unnaturally so, like something other than his own blood is heating them up from the inside. Beneath him his father bleeds and spits out more teeth and groans and still Cain beats him. No amount of beating will ever be enough for him and he knows this. He knows he’s going to murder his father on this floor and he knows it will make his mother cry. He hates that these things are going to happen and he accepts them anyway. This is what needs to be done. This is what his father deserves. 

He grips his father’s head in his hot, hot hands and he spits in his face. 

It takes six guys to drag Cain off of his father. There aren’t enough inside the bar to do it. He knocks three out when they try. But eventually the police show up and there are enough of them. Cain is a big guy and he’s strong and he’s tough but even big strong, tough guys don’t do well when they get tazed. 

They drag him outside and they shove him into a cop car and the last thing Cain sees of his father is a man, covered in blood, pulling himself off the floor with shaking arms. 

He disappears before anyone has a chance to ask if he wants to press charges. Cain isn’t surprised.

Three aggravated assault and battery charges are enough to put him away for a long time, though. The sentencing is actually lighter than what he expects. Weirdly enough, despite the bloody crime scene and Cain’s size and all the witnesses who were sure they saw Cain beating his father to death, there’s no serious injuries to speak of. He hears down the legal grapevine that his father walked away that night, and that the guys who tried to pull him off didn’t even need trips to the hospital. Cain had bloodied their noses but somehow neither of them were broken. Miraculously, his public defender tells him. They all claim that they’re feeling better than ever.

Cain sits and listens to him. There’s a tick in his jaw that won’t go away, an angry jump of muscle as he grinds his teeth.

His mother does cry when he’s sentenced. He’s not happy to see that. 

When he’s back in his cell, alone, he drives his fist into the wall hard enough to split the skin of his knuckles

His hands feel hot. His knuckles hurt but they stop hurting very quickly. When Cain turns them over to see, he watches his skin knit slowly back together, closing over the open wound until it looks as if there were never a wound there at all. Cain stares. He swallows. He hits the wall again, hard, in the same place. He watches blood drip from his hand and then he watches the dripping stop. The same thing happens again. 

Oh, he thinks to himself. Oh fuck. 

Prison is a lot like being a kid again, except his mother isn’t there to comfort him when he gets into fights or when he crawls into his bed to bleed. Everyone wants to get a piece of the new guy, especially since half the time somebody gets into a fight with Cain, none of their injuries ever really seem to take. Cain puts his hands on them. He lays them out and he holds them down and he hits them again and again and again and  they hurt and they bleed and they get back up afterwards feeling fine.

He hates his powers at first. He wants to be able to beat the shit out of people the same way he has for years but the moment to hands get hot it's over. Nothing he does is really going to hurt his opponent. Sometimes they leave the fights looking better than when they came in.

 It doesn't take long for his prison mates to learn what he is. It doesn't take much longer for the warden to get wind of it too. 

And that is how Cain Douglas finds himself moved from Cook Corrections to Hornsbury Prison for mutants. 

If Cook Corrections was prison then Hornsbury is something below it, something sub-prison where men and women aren't allowed to feel even the slightest bit human. It's the type of place that’s not even trying to pretend it's here to fix you. It's here to break you and it wants you to know it's here to break you, all that guards, all the wardens, and most of the prisoners all want you to know you're here to be broken. 

He's roughed up by a couple guards in the first week. Thanks to his power not much of what they do to him manages to stick, but not much of what he does to them manages to stick either.

After that they just throw him in the hole for insubordination. It's cold in that dark, empty concrete room. It smells of the piss and fear sweat of the last guy they had in there. 

He spends a lot of time in that hole. He will never admit it to anyone. But sometimes he is afraid he will die in there, all alone.

He gets out eventually. Maybe it is for good behavior. Maybe it’s because people realize that Cain can win fights but he can never end them. His hands are harmless and by extension, so is he. 

There’s no job waiting for him when he gets out. He’s just spent five years in prison. Two of them were in Hornsbury. Everyone in his part of town knows about what he did to his father and worse, they know that he’s a mutant.

The first night Cain spends back in his home, someone sets fire to his mother’s front lawn. 

He packs up and leaves the next day. He loves his mother. This will always be true. But he won’t stick around her if it puts her at risk. 

And then there’s really nowhere for him to go but the Jem Family. He’s heard of them, before prison, but he never cared about it before becoming a mutant. He doesn’t care much about it when he first arrives either. It could have been any gang as they gave him a warm place to sleep and some food to eat. Cain isn’t picky. Unfortunately the Jem Family and Damien have a way of creeping under his skin. They’re good people. They care about people, about mutants. And they care about Cain, which more than he can say for just about everyone else in Chicago except for his mother. They give him food to eat and a place to sleep and pay him money he can send to his mother every month. 

They help him learn how to control his powers. They give him back a part of himself he thought was lost forever. Thanks to the Jem Family, he gets to decide what, when and who he’s healing. He also gets to decide what and when and who he’s hurting and honestly, he’s a little more thankful for that than the former. He starts to be happy that his power is what it is. He gets to help people that he cares about. He starts to care about helping people at all.

It was easy not to care about mutants when he wasn’t one. It was easy to ignore the way they were treated. 

But that’s not something Cain has the luxury of doing anymore. He sees how much people hate them. How afraid they are. He’s seen it in the scorch marks on his mother’s lawn, and in Hornsbury. He sees it now more than ever as everyone in the city starts to pick a side. It pisses him the fuck off. 

This city has needed the shit kicked out of it for a long fucking time and with the gan’s finally uniting, now is as good a time as any to land the first blow. 

EXPANDED CONNECTIONS: 

DANA RAMONE,

HE IS JEALOUS. He’s learned to appreciate his power but that by no means means that Cain like, likes being a healer. He’d much rather have something crazy and violent and powerful to use and he would definitely be kinda salty at Dana depending on their attitude towards their power. I also think it’d be neat to explore (mun willing of course) how he feels about her lack of control because he’s struggled with that before. If there’s a warmer relationship between them I can totally see Cain maybe trying to work them with them on control because he knows what it’s like to always feel a little bit incompetent in your own body. 

But y’know. If they don't’ talk that’s fine by him b-baka.

JACKSON RAEMERS, 

What Cain feels about Jackson is very similar to what an older sibling feels for an annoying younger sibling. He doesn’t want them seriously injured or hurt. He cares about them deep down. But if Cain went a whole week without seeing Jackson it would be the best week of his fucking life. I think Cain would be big on just shaming them for bing such a klutz and if they come in for really superficial injuries may just make them go deal with it themselves.  

LUKE ESPINOSA,

So I read on Luke’s own relationship description that they’d probably totally destroy Cain if they were allowed to use their powers on him. I want Cain to be like, very , very aware of that and totally pissed off by it. He’s not sure what makes him more angry, knowing that Luke thinks he could beat the shit out of him or knowing that it's true. He doesn't like losing. He never has. And he doesn’t like knowing that the only reason he wins against Luke is because Luke is giving him a huge handicap by not using his powers. It makes his blood boil and that definitely comes out in the way he fights with him and just deals with him in general. I’d love it if these two just sniped at each other all the time and def got into all sorts of dumb, non-competitions outside the ring to try and prove who’s the best without bringing powers into it. I’m talking some anime rivalry type shit. 

EXTRA: PINTEREST! NATCH! https://www.pinterest.com/bellydeli/mootants/he-hits-stuff/

[truthbeetoldmedia]

The 100 6x05 "The Gospel of Josephine" Review

Y’all breathing okay? I think there were a few times when I held my breath this episode and boy howdy! I’m glad The 100 can still give me those moments. Now let’s dive right in to the episode:

Bonjour Josephine!

Last week we got a tiny bite of Josephine. Tonight we got the whole "gâteau opéra”, emphasis on “opera”, for the story of the Primes seems to be a long and bloody Shakespearean affair on an alien moon. Jaux!Clarke (see what I did there?) has barely fired up her silicone memories before she dispatches poor Kaylee with a cheese knife. Apparently Kaylee assisted, or at least didn’t prevent, Josephine’s last host body’s “death”, and she’s been on ice for six years waiting for a new host to be born and grow up. (Which we learn later is because they need a fully developed over-21 adult brain to host an adult’s memory chip, as they overload and kill child hosts. Glad we don’t have to see how they know that.)

Apparently Russell and Simone “jumped line” to bring back Josephine so I’m assuming it’s setup like an organ donor list, except people wait actual decades to talk to their loved ones again. The price of eternal life, eh? Also I can bet there will be some VERY unhappy Primes once they find out Russell and Simone cut line to get their daughter back amongst the living. Josephine seems to be hardened by her long life, and thinks very pragmatically and cold. She has successfully “other-ed” everyone except her loved ones...which is not comforting but also, I can’t help but think the gang would be very happy to have old Clarke back when they get a taste of real cold indifference from Jaux!Clarke.

Her “parents” give her time to adjust and we see Jaux!Clarke painting while dancing to French rap — a sentence I never thought I’d type for a sci-fi show review. She’s of course been given a task: find out how many nightbloods, aka hosts, our Space Popsicles have (since we really can’t call our gang the 100 or the delinquents anymore I’ve decided to call them this, fight me) to keep the Primes from becoming extinct. How hard can it possibly be to pretend to be Clarke right? All I thought was give Bellamy Blake and Jordan Green 10 minutes alone with her and she will figure that out real quick. (Also I was SO pleased to discover I was correct with guessing those two!)  

Space Popsicle™️ Fam finds skeletons in the closet!

Jaux!Clarke meets up with Bellamy, Jordan, Gaia and the rest of the SpacePops™️ Fam and starts acting weird immediately. (Subtle at first but someone forgot to check if she knew Trig ha!) She dodges her first bullet and finds Abby to try and find out how many nightbloods might be on the main ship, only to hear herself called a monster and have Abby compare her book to the Eugenics books of our time. I enjoyed seeing her squirm at Abby’s assessment of her book, though Abby doesn’t have a lot of room to judge...

When Abby questions why her left-handed daughter is writing with her right hand, Jaux!Clarke needs to find a reason to exit stage left and she sees Bellamy and Murphy looking for Jordan and follows them. They find Jordan in the spooky science closet full of skeletons (subtle the Primes are not) and Bellamy is of course in full Dad mode™️, asking Jordan what the heck he’s doing. Jordan delivers quite possibly my favorite line of the season, thus far:   

“What you would’ve done, The you before Praimfaya, anyway. Heart over head. That was always my favorite Bellamy.”

Monty and Harper's son, ladies and gentlemen!! Y’all I nearly jumped to my feet and clapped! Because that Bellamy is also my favorite Bellamy! And this whole season is a little odd feeling to me because Bellamy already feels like he’s been body snatched. Let’s hope this wonderful line delivered with perfection by the fabulous Shannon Kook is a sign we will get some old “I say, screw fear. I’m telling my own damn story” Bellamy Blake back this year! (Can I get an amen!)

Back to the science skeleton closet:

Jaux!Clarke Tries and fails to lure team SpacePops™️ out but Jordan and Gaia keep digging around and they end up watching the first “successful” upload of Josephine by Gabriel and her now very old looking father (og body) Russell. We also learned it took 25 years for them to develop and perfect the AI tech and lord knows how many corpses to get there.

We don’t know yet but I have a feeling we can guess the “old man” is Gabriel and “the Children of Gabriel” are followers against the “Primes ways” and are a result of him regretting playing God to get Josephine back and exiling himself once Josephine and fam got a little to unhinged about “hosts” and “nightblood”, leading others to follow his example. After Jaux!Clarke calls Murphy “John” and says a few other strange things, Bellamy asks to speak to her alone and, I’m just saying, if you watch this scene you see that Bellamy already KNoWS this isn’t “normal” Clarke. He isn’t sure what’s wrong yet, but he knows enough to test her and he can tell she can’t really understand what he’s saying in Trig! So he pulls a signature “Bellamy” move and yanks her back by the throat and starts asking questions because he’s now officially in panic mode —

BUT alas! She had a syringe of that lovely paralytic on hand just in case and the last thing we see in this scene is the horrible realization in Bellamy’s eyes as he lies helplessly paralyzed on the ground: there is a cold stranger behind his best friend’s beautiful blue eyes...and he cannot process his fear and loss fast enough. Welcome back heart over head Bellamy, we’ve missed you!!

Cut to Jaux!Clarke finding Murphy in the bar and revealing her true identity and confessing “Clarke is dead. My parents killed her” (listen I don’t buy it kids) and offering our favorite morally questionable cockroach something he might not be able to pass up: eternal life. Given his recent brush with death and sudden fear of hell….oh boy! It’s gonna take him a minute to realize he should help his friends, I just hope he realizes that before he’s made a full deal with the devil.

Diyoza and the Brat

This pair is a surprising team up, but if I have to suffer through Octavia’s “redemption” they couldn’t have picked a better reward than my favorite Season 5 addition (besides sweet Shaw! I’m still bitter about that guys) DIYOZA! Sassy, amazing fighter, the universe’s longest known pregnant lady. I could watch an entire show about her. (Also Ivana Milicevic is a dream in this role.) She’s the gift that keeps on giving, cool as a cucumber while stuck in space quicksand as Octavia is about to go under because she cannot be still for one second. Probably because if Octavia’s quiet she’ll think and with that comes dark thoughts: how she failed as a leader, how she was willing to abuse, torture and maybe even kill her brother, how her brother, the one person who she thought would always love her through her greatest faults, finally couldn’t take anymore and rejected her. She doesn’t have anything left to lose. Rock bottom meet Octavia Blake, Octavia Blake meet rock bottom.

Now I know I sound harsh but after Season 4 I was beyond seeing her as anything but a villain. I know she is on her way to redemption, but I’m glad they are giving her the long way through the dirt and mud, letting her soak in the cage of her own making a while. And giving us the wonderful Diyoza to lighten the mood. I am all for unsuspecting road trip buddies in shows (Arya and the Hound anyone?) but unfortunately so far all Octavia’s done is try to murder people, throw tantrums, and sulk. Oh well, at least Diyoza is getting in some practice for when she finally gets to have her 200-year-old baby! Really though bless her heart, she deserves some kind of sainthood for this.

Mount Weather + City of Light + Commander worship, shaken not stirred

I actually dig the intersecting of all the “bad guy” storylines into one big villain origin story wearing Clarke’s face. If nothing else it’s a poetic rehash of all the previous seasons, but refreshing enough to not seem stale...for the most part. I grow tired of the Flame/commander story and miss the more simple “teens surviving the unknown my learning to depend and care for each other” story of the first few seasons. BUT considering Season 5’s underwhelming last half, if there is one thing I can say about Season 6 of The 100...it’s not boring! And for a show that sometimes paces the plot too fast I was actually okay with that this time around! I did not want it to take three episodes for our fave family of 150 year old space popsicles to discover Clarke is “dead”. Also I am so glad it was the magic duo of Bellamy and Jordan that made the realization first.

Final thoughts

Eliza Taylor has grown so much as an actress over the seasons! She looks like she had so much fun playing Jaux!Clarke and she gave her such a different “spirit” than our usual worried and sometimes snarky but mostly serious Clarke Griffin. Just the way her eyes dance lets you know it’s not “real Clarke”.

I neglected to mention the importance of Jordan knowing “Delilah” before her change to Priya VII, so his spidey senses also go off around Clarke because he knows what a person who just got body snatched acts like! When he took “Delilah” the flowers I was like my poor son.

This episode was great because the focus was tighter and had fewer characters to keep up with! (Listen I love ensemble casts but they have not given Raven a strong independent storyline since Season 4, and I love Emori but she doesn’t really have a lot to do at the moment either, as for Echo...why she was made a main character when Harper was right there all those seasons? I’ll never know.) All that to say, I like when they break up the cast a bit and just focus on a few at a time to really get that interpersonal development between characters. That used to be the bread and butter of this show. Don’t get me wrong, I still love The 100 and find it unique and fun and twisty and exhilarating and at times beautifully heartbreaking.

(Episodes 1x05, 1x07, 1x13, 2x15, 2x16, 4x13 and 5x13 are perfect examples of this.)

But I do yearn for those slower, deeper days of, say, a boy and a girl grappling with the moral quandary of torturing a stranger tied up in the cockpit of a crashed spaceship to save a dying friend. Sometimes bigger and shiner isn’t always better. But no matter how this season goes, The 100 is still one of my favorite TV shows ever, and deserves a spot up there with a lot of other great sci-fi dramas of the past two decades.

As of now all I need to know is: where the heck is Bellamy Blake and is he okay?!

Gina’s episode rating: 🐝🐝🐝🐝

The 100 airs Tuesdays at 9/8c on the CW.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Grace

Janis: [Let us say that some boys on the bus were going hard with being dicks because duh, shit always goes down on the bus] Janis: 3 of those lads have sent me dick pics Janis: say the word, like Grace: only 3? 💔 Janis: What can I say? Janis: Not got the pull I used to, obvs Grace: yeah same Janis: Yeah Janis: well, there's comfort in knowing you're always one #scandal away from being old news at this school, yeah Grace: mhmm I'm like so comforted rn Janis: Not my forte Janis: I'll work on getting the remaining 2 dicks Janis: revenge porn, I could do Grace: 🤞💜🙏 Janis: I hope the rest of the insults you've heard today have been more creative than that poor showing at least Grace: Duh of course they haven't 🙄 Janis: Gutting Janis: should've paid more attention in English, lads Grace: [sends her some of the quality content] Grace: that'll be easier when I'm not there to be like TOTALLY distracting obvs Janis: 😑 Janis: How dry Janis: 💀 or 👻 Grace: I mean like catch them at 20 still trying to pass Grace: much as I wanna kms Janis: True that Janis: only here past junior cert to get more fingering experience Grace: ugh Janis: I know Janis: romance is dead Janis: is there anything I can actually do though? Grace: get that as a matching tattoo with barista boy? no 👌👌 Grace: idk cos idk what I can even do soooo Grace: my life is just over Janis: I'll float the idea Janis: might be a bit mainstream Janis: yeah but is that such a bad thing Janis: was pretty tragic, right? Grace: can you not Janis: I'm not taking the piss Janis: I'm being real Grace: & I'm not in the mood for a life revamp atm Grace: or your advice Janis: I'm not trying to be a guru either Grace: well you don't know what you're talking about so that's a relief Janis: Alright Janis: not said I do either Janis: sorry I don't, if I knew how to avoid scandals, I could sell that shit for a high price Grace: just stop Grace: I could care less that I'm #cancelled Grace: it's not even Janis: Go on then Janis: I know you aren't upset over that idiot Grace: Duh Grace: he's the WORST but I knew that already Janis: and give a shit about everyone talking shit, apparently Janis: so, what is it? Grace: it's real if I say it Janis: Is that why you're not saying anything Janis: I know it doesn't stop the talk but some people might listen Janis: what don't you want to make real? Grace: I don't want people to listen, I literally don't want anyone to know Grace: I don't even wanna know, I wish I didn't Janis: Grace Janis: what are you talking about? Grace: I'm literally the worst person, I didn't wanna have his baby & now god has like cursed me forever Janis: Babe, God is NOT a subscriber Janis: tell me Grace: if you make me 😂 I will 😭 Janis: That would make things feel more normal Janis: but I'll calm my comedy genius Janis: you haven't grown another head and I don't think our animal have been slaughtered Grace: thanks babes Grace: but I'd rather have another head than this Janis: More to contour, I get it Janis: Kinda Janis: so it must be bad Grace: Yeah Grace: like I said, my life is over Grace: it's not even started & it's done Janis: Did you want the baby Janis: I know you said not HIS but like Janis: it'd be understandable to be in two minds, even after making a decision about it Grace: not now but I didn't know that'd mean not ever Janis: What? Grace: it's not just that I wasn't pregnant this time Grace: I can't be Janis: Ever? Janis: The Doctor told you? Grace: Ever Grace: the doctor said I'm going through the fucking menopause, like is nan even?! Janis: the menopause Janis: is that even possible Janis: fuck Grace: I don't think the doctor is allowed to drop fake news on me Grace: like maybe there's another storytime coming Janis: When did you find this out? Grace: I went to the doctors right after I delivered my fake news to him Janis: Jesus, Grace Janis: How are you in School Janis: why? Grace: I told you, I don't want this to be happening Grace: I'm freaking out, the symptoms are crazy Janis: Is it just pure bad luck Janis: it can't be like..reversed Grace: there's like no way to undo it Janis: Shit Janis: I'm sorry Janis: that is huge Grace: yeah me too Grace: the pity party this fam would throw would be huge Grace: along with the guestlist of all their accidental babies Janis: and we have enough birthdays with all those accidental kids so Janis: Obviously, no need to explain why you're keeping it to yourself Grace: I can't do this Grace: be this Janis: I don't think you have a choice Janis: well, you don't Grace: is it my fault though? all the binging I used to do Grace: Ro got to have a kid Janis: Of course it ain't your fault Janis: this shit is unfair and random Grace: Yeah Janis: and it'll always be shit and unfair Janis: but you can still live your life, just different to how you've imagined Grace: I don't wanna live this life Janis: There's not an alternative Janis: but I can guarantee it's not gonna be as bad as you feel right now Grace: I was just starting to get my shit together, for god's sake Janis: I know Janis: but you still have the rest together Grace: HE'S the last boy that's ever gonna come near me, that alone makes me wanna die Janis: that's bollocks Janis: you've not got the plague Janis: socially, right now Janis: but who gives a fuck, yeah, the lads 'round here are not the be all in any way Grace: I literally live here Grace: what else am I gonna do go online and find boys who are into 👵? Janis: Boys that don't go to our school, would be a start Janis: ones that aren't likely to be fans of that prick, shouldn't be hard Janis: you're not going for 12 year olds, like Grace: I said don't make me 😂 Janis: It can't hurt Janis: except literally, maybe Grace: I've gotta get used to all the fucking aches and pains anyway ugh Janis: Any excuse for a spa day, you Grace: I'll lose your invite, don't even worry Janis: 💔😏 Janis: you should though Janis: do something that doesn't make you feel like 👵 Grace: casual infertility party Janis: not exactly what I was thinking but Janis: interesting take on the baby shower epidemic Janis: I'd come Grace: oh god don't, Rio's gonna have another one soon Janis: It'll be nice to not have to snatch it back from an OTT gay this time Janis: more chill Grace: unless I snatch it cos I go fully mental Janis: I'd recommend a less baby crazy target Grace: maybe I'll start pushing all the 🐈s around in a pram like oh hey this is my new vibe Janis: if you want your face clawed off Janis: they're pretty unsympathetic little bastards Grace: I literally didn't wanna be in this fam before what am I meant to do now?! ugh Janis: As much as it would be a laugh to ask Ri to surrogate again Janis: let's think of something a little less drastic for the time being Grace: like? Janis: like Janis: you can't disown us all, it'd take to long Janis: but you could not be around for a while Grace: 👌👌 except I have nowhere to go Grace: not trying to have a Q&A with my friends about this Janis: You're so lucky I'm the twin with brains Grace: rude Janis: what about going to see Ava for a hot sec Janis: she's not the barrage-you-with-questions type Grace: it's lowkey very unlikely her mum & dad would want me there though Janis: yeah but it's as unlikely they'll be about enough to notice you that hard Janis: everyone knows you're going through it right now, even if they don't actually know what IT really is Grace: okay yeah Grace: mum does, she'd let me go Janis: exactly, who actually gives a shit if you miss a week or so of school Janis: Ava could still go if she so desperately needs, you just need to chill Janis: away from here Grace: not me, school was the worst even before this Janis: One thing we can agree on Grace: don't like tell anyone, okay? Janis: No shit Janis: 'course I won't Grace: Even your boyfriend who you're so 💖😍😘 for & have no secrets from Janis: Even though you're being purposefully antagonizing rn Janis: I won't tell no one Grace: thanks Janis: It ain't even an ask Janis: so don't mention it Grace: 👌💜 Janis: I'll hook it up with her, no stress Grace: I'll handle mum Janis: and your packing Grace: at least I don't have to serve a look as hard when there's only 1 person there I'm avoiding as opposed to like ALL of Dublin Janis: safe to say you can give the #ootds a break too Janis: strictly loungewear, like Grace: mhmmm Janis: bit rude to avoid Ava though Janis: do I need to tell her you're getting in the guestroom and not coming out, like? Grace: oh please, I would never Janis: Who are you avoiding then? Grace: just a boy Janis: unlike you Grace: excuse you Janis: You'd have your exes all back 'round like a family reunion Janis: who's this boy, did you shit in his bed, what's the story Grace: 😱😱😱 Grace: I WOULD NOT Janis: 👌👌 you love a repeat Grace: I'm a hoe reformed 😇🙏 Janis: so that's why you're avoiding Janis: get a wimple, join a convent Grace: literally can't 💍 anyone but god now anyway so Grace: obvs that's what he wanted when he cursed me Janis: #whenbaeisposessive 😍 Janis: and don't talk shit, you don't have to promise you'll have your firstborn within the year when you get married, like Janis: not necessary Grace: whatever we're so off topic rn Janis: the topic of you shitting in some London lad's bed, 'cos you did not deny it Janis: let's get back on that Grace: OMG no! Grace: I'm 👵 not 🤢💀🤒😓💀 Grace: he's just a hookup, no drama Janis: just gonna run for cover if you 👀 him Janis: standard Janis: probably not lurking about her gaff unless you've really one-upped everyone and fucked your uncle 🤢 Grace: EW! Grace: I'm not even gonna 👀 him cos he's her bfs brother but like I didn't know that so Janis: that's funny Janis: soz Janis: 😂 when the incestuousness of it all happens without you even trying Grace: 🙄🙄 Janis: okay 🤐 Janis: but deffo avoid him Grace: duh Grace: the state of me & my life rn Janis: more like the state of that whole situation Janis: getting involved in that is not anyone's idea of relaxing Grace: obvs but that's not anything to do with him Grace: just like none of this #scandal involves you Janis: Think people know better than to imply it was a threesome, yeah Grace: Gross! & you know what I mean, babes Janis: yeah, it's beyond #obvs you don't wanna avoid this boy mhmm Grace: like that matters, he's not gonna hit me up & same Janis: well okay Janis: arranging that goes beyond sisterly duties into pimp territory so Janis: focus on what you're actually gonna do whilst you're there then Grace: 😭😭💀💀😭 then yeah? Grace: 👌💜 Janis: you could do that here Janis: at least go somewhere instagrammable to die Grace: well duh Grace: final livestream for the haters Janis: 🙄😏 Janis: wonder if anyone's killed themselves on stream yet Janis: must've Grace: obvs Grace: but I literally couldn't even if it was original content cos they'd all think it was about him & I'm sooo 💔💔💔 Janis: No one wants that as their legacy Grace: exactly Janis: even if the race to #1 most subscribed when he gets #cancelled would be just riveting Grace: he won't even though his fans are just Janis: sweaty virgins Janis: yeah, figures Grace: 😂 Grace: I'd tell him to hit them with a Q&A but like he's got no answers Grace: literally should've known I wasn't pregnant Janis: thank fuck you ain't Janis: this time anyway Janis: obvs the whole thing is a little more complex but Christ Janis: having to parent with that Janis: and knowing your child was the product of a really shit shag Janis: 💔 Grace: IKR Grace: at least he doesn't know he could blame the menopause for how shit it was Janis: I highly doubt he knows what the menopause is Janis: nevermind the concept of it coming early Janis: though that shouldn't be that unfamiliar Grace: who knew it could come this early though Grace: not his defence squad but like wtf Janis: I hadn't heard of it before, really Janis: like I knew people like Ro and Mia and co can stop getting their period and it might not come back, even if you sort yourself Janis: it's shit luck Grace: yeah Janis: Did you not get your period Janis: on whatever contraception you're on Grace: loads of people don't on the implant so I wasn't freaking out Janis: yeah Janis: s'what I thought Janis: you don't think, I mean that's not why, is it Grace: I'd hope someone would have floated that as a side effect before I got it put in but it's not like I can ask my former squad if they're also going through it Grace: they might've moved on by now anyways it only lasts 3 years Grace: hence my 👶 panic Janis: I don't think even doctors and scientists know what it does to our bodies Janis: we're still guineapigs for all this shit Janis: I know loads of people get fucked up from all the hormones they add to your body, and the ones they take away Janis: again, just bad luck it happened to be permanent, I guess Janis: fun times Grace: at least I won't have to do any of that shit any more Janis: that's true Janis: it's not like there aren't any perks Janis: or that the losses can't be filled with other potentials in the future, when you actually wanna think about all that shit Grace: unless I go bald then I will kms obvs Janis: If you go bald, you can just go for it and superglue a wig on Grace: find me one that doesn't make me look like a weird cartoon character & sure Janis: no 💗 or 💙 Janis: got it Grace: ty 💜 Janis: failing that, you could make Ri transplant you some of hers Janis: like so you won't give me a baby, okay Grace: 😂😂 coming at her with ✂ Grace: I love that you didn't volunteer yourself bitch Grace: 💇 or 👶 tbh Janis: Full horror movie moment that Janis: selfish to a fault me Janis: and final girl, so you can pry 'em off my cold dead head or outta my cold dead womb Grace: my 📽🎞😱 moment is that this is gonna change my skin type to dry so it'll take me at least a full week to find replacements for all my makeup faves Janis: yeah, but think about how hard your spots should disappear Janis: get yourself a decent moisturizer and you won't even need to bother barely Grace: !!! Grace: I didn't even think of that OMG Janis: mhmm 👵 don't get acne Grace: 🙏🙏 Janis: and you can try a new facial over there, yeah Grace: as long as Ava isn't like no thanks bitch Janis: won't give her an option tbh Grace: 📽🎞😱 Janis: 😏 you know I'm scary bitch Grace: oh please Janis: 👊 Grace: 😘

[nezothecat]

Chapter 1

''Delicious~'' Naell couldn't resist saying it over the course of his recovery. Sebastian had these cloudy eyes upon seeing his young master Naell, enjoying his food. He couldn't help but notice how his young master's attitude became better, after getting beaten.

Naell Beryldot used to be a jolly cheerful kid. But when his mother died due to a terrorist attack in a Noble summit, Naell's attitude towards everything became sour.

Upon seeing a teary-eyed Sebastian, Naell misunderstood his butler's reaction as fear.

''...The food is delicious, so you don't need to get scared or anything. I don't think I'll raise my hand to anyone ever again, Elder.''

Sebastian couldn't help but smile upon seeing how he was reflecting, and becoming who he once was.

'I still can't get used to how everyone here is afraid and at the same time cares a lot for someone like Naell. He really was a bad guy.'

"I just hope you can recover soon enough, Young master."

Naell actually was fine now, but knowing it was his middle school graduation, he decided to pretend that he was still in recovery. The school he went to was not that big, but it was still unique since not every state had one. Due to Naell's father, Fharom Beryldot's decision, the school was established for all his people.

Following the novel, Naell also did not go to his graduation, though his reason behind it was not explained by the author.

'I guess he was either embarrassed or the author simply did not think it was necessary.'

Schools in that world not only teach academic subjects but also seek students who have the talent for martial arts and magic. Not all states offer schooling for non-noble children, that was why most commoners, who as a kid shows talent for martial arts or magic, are adopted into the capital to be trained as a knight or a mage.

There were exceptions; one of which was the Baron school of Beryldot. Students get taught until middle school, leading to them applying to become an adventurer. This allows the students to have the means to support themselves when they pursue their education in the capital.

'Maybe that is why, even if he has a trash son, Fha... I mean my dad is still loved in his estate.' Naell's thoughts were absorbing him, but what he heard snapped him back into reality.

"Young master, I have a message from your father, Baron Fharom."

Naell got nervous since they hadn't spoken after the duel. Fharom did visit his chamber while he was sleeping, but he did not wake him up.

'I guess Fha--- my dad will scold me now.'

Sebastian then continued relaying his message. His perfect posture and green warm eyes never left his gentle smile.

''Your father would like to have lunch with you."

*gulp*

Naell nodded nervously. He knew t'was time, to face reality.

Usually, after lunch, Naell would end up reading books available in his room. He meant to go to the library, but he patiently waited, until he could.

'Not much has differed, from how it was mentioned in the novel.'

From what he read, MARTIAL ARTS involved the usage of either a weapon such as a sword or the martial artist's fists. They would even be capable of using AURA, something which resembled ki in Japan. As for MAGIC, it was divided into basic elements including light and dark.

One fault of Naell, considering his lack of talent in the sword, was that he never did try other weapons.

'As for magic, I need to research more if I can use it. I remember magic is hereditary or... Something that hasn't been done here.'

Naell knew his father from the novel. He was once a renowned swordsman, but he could no longer fight due to an injury he sustained.

'As for my mother, I never did ask anyone, just the simple knowledge of what I've read in the novel, Arts and Magic. She's dead.'

Naell prepared early. He was still nervous since it would be his first time having a conversation with his father, after the duel.

Naell wore a simple white polo shirt with black pants. Glancing in the mirror, he realized he still couldn't get used to it.

Naell's hair now had a richer black than his original body. His eyes were dark brown, which closely resembled almonds, and his face was sculpted well.

'My hair is quite long for a guy, though considering razors don't exist here, maybe this hair isn't actually that long.'

He stared at himself some more.

'And what pale complexion. If I didn't already know I was human, I might have considered myself a vampire already. I guess it would make sense. I was once a villain.'

'I do not know the standard of height and weight here but I'm guessing I'm average for both.'

His build was definitely not frail, but it did seem average. He recalled that it was far from the somewhat muscular build Andrew was described to have in the book.

'No wonder I lost in a duel of strength.'

If it weren't for his nasty attitude, the old Naell would surely be popular due to his appearance that emits both elegance and grace.

As Naell was walking towards the dining hall, he heard murmurs of concern and gladness.

''Thank Aurora, Young master is fine.''

Naell was touched upon hearing them still, they flinched when they caught his gaze. It was clear that even though they were afraid of him, they still wanted him to recover.

'I will in return be a good young master, considering I don't need to be bad anymore for the sake of the story.'

One of their servants stood at the door to the dining room, before opening it for Naell.

There he saw his father sitting at the far end of the dining table. It was quite large but simple. Sitting with him was his step-mother and his sister.

'I guess Naell's face comes from his mother. His.. My dad's fierce brown eyes and black hair matches well with his distinct Asian features.'

Baron Fharom was still fit even with the injury he got. His ability to walk was fine, as he had a cane to support him. He wore a simple white kimono. Their family emblem was perfectly wrapped around his left arm.

Sebastian was standing beside Naell's father with the waiters serving the food.

Naell couldn't hide his surprise as he had forgotten he had a stepmother and a sister.

'Right, her name is Lilia. She kinda looks like a hollywood star with her blond kempt hair and blue eyes.'

Lilia's pink pale skin works well with her white dress that wasn't overly decorated.

Next to her was Naell's step-sister, Lily, who was only 7 yrs old. She resembled her mom with her blond hair, but she had noticeably brown eyes from Baron Fharom's side. She wore a blue light dress complimenting her pinkish skin.

The Beryldot household tended to focus their money on their estate. That was why their clothes and even their house was just simple.

'I don't blame them if they didn't go and see me when I was bedridden, considering I've even hit girls when I was mad. I'm pretty sure I was a real pain in the butt.'

Little did Naell know, both his mother and his sister went to see how he was doing, all when he was unconscious on multiple occasions.

They all watched Naell as he slowly approached the table and was caught by surprise, with what he did after that.

Naell was really nervous and had been contemplating what kind of apology he should do. Not only did the old Naell humiliate himself, but he did also shame their family.

Naell paused dramatically before the table. Recalling all the medieval movies, he had watched back on Earth.

'I know it was not really me who has done all this, but because as of now I am he, I might as well take responsibility.'

He then quickly bowed and kneeled in front of them and said,

       ''Father, Mother, I bring not just shame to myself, but also to our family. I beg for your forgiveness.''

.

.

.

The long silence filled the room. The awkward performance had a jaw-dropping impact.

Naell heard a number of gasps, but he couldn't tell who was who.

Naell did hear his stepmother, Lilia, mumble with her teary voice cracking,

''...Mother?''

Lilia was then hugged by her daughter, Lily who immediately stood up to comfort her.

'I guess we really were on bad terms.'

Naell did not know how his father, Baron Fharom got to where he was without his cane, but he felt his father's trembling hands on his shoulder. His father's also teary voice was cracking.

''It is also my fault for failing to raise you well. Forgive me, my son--- I do not know how I can face Alicia after all of this.''

Looking closely, Naell saw the dark circles under his father's eyes. He could not bring himself to look upon his father's eyes any longer.

'I've taken this responsibility too lightly. I didn't know how deeply troubled they were because of me. Admittedly, I feel guilty for taking their son's place away, but I also do not have the courage to tell them the truth.'

''There is nothing to forgive Father. My sin is mine alone.'' Naell could only muster enough courage to say those words, as breaking down with all the guilt he was feeling was not an option.

''You are forgiven, but you must never forget your sins.''

Naell nodded and supported him as he was staggering without his cane. Fortunately, Sebastian was also there to help.

'It was really awkward at first considering what happened. But as a human being, we can only move on and scream later when we remember all those embarrassing things we have done, huhuhu.'

''Naell, is your body okay now?'' Lilia had such a gentle voice that you could easily know she was concerned about her son.

''I've fully recovered Mom.'' Naell replied and saw her smile when he said the word, Mom.

The lunch was really delicious but it was a little embarrassing for Naell. Every time he smiled upon eating the food, he'd hear some of them gasping, even his own family.

[florencemeivey]

We Face Our Enemy Together (Chapter Two of Somewhere Down the Line)

Shepard learned through Garrus that all of her former crew and friends, with the exception of EDI, had survived the final clash with the Reapers. All those who had been with her as crew during the battle were still on the Normandy, which was docked as near to her hospital as it could be. 

“Once you woke up, they got the word out somehow to the rest of our friends.” Garrus explained to Shepard as she leaned against him. He was helping her to her wheelchair. She had just finished her first physical therapy session, and the results looked promising. Now, she had been allowed to see her crew, so long as they came to the hospital.

“I suspect Liara, once again,” Garrus continued, shaking his head. “Those connections of hers as the Shadow Broker, I guess.”

“Mmhm,” Shepard replied distractedly. She was staring into space, and Garrus took immediate notice. He leaned down and rested his fingers lightly on Shepard’s cheek.

“Worried about Joker?” He asked, though he already knew the answer. Shepard nodded. “I still think you shouldn’t tell him,” Garrus said gently. “What good will it do now, except open old wounds?”

“Sometimes wounds need to be reopened to fully heal,” Shepard said grimly. “Joker’s my friend, and EDI was too. He deserves to know the truth.”

“Okay, it’s your call Shepard.” A pause, and then, “When did you plan on telling him?”

“When I can get him alone,” Shepard replied, her eyes set with the fierce determination that Garrus had learned long ago meant that she would not be dissuaded. He squeezed her shoulder in solidarity and comfort, and wheeled her away to go see their friends.

Liara was the first to notice the couple walk in. “Shepard!” She gasped, jumping up from the chair she had been perched upon. The rest of the crew stood then, crying out Shepard’s name in delight.

Shepard, despite her nervousness about what she had to tell Joker, felt a sense of joy and relief wash over her. She had lived to see her friends again, and they had lived to see her. She looked around at all of their smiling faces and felt a fierce, familial sort of love. These were the people who had followed her to hell and back. This was her family; the Normandy family.

Then came the reunions. Liara, Tali, Steve, James, and Samantha stormed Shepard, and wrapped her in a group hug. For a long moment Shepard was lost among a tangle of arms and laughing, smiling faces.

The others who were less inclined to give out hugs nonetheless offered their own greetings. Grunt and Wrex grabbed Shepard’s arm, as gently as they could, and extolled her strength. Wrex told her she had the biggest quad of them all. 

Javik loudly told anyone who would listen that in his cycle, people didn’t come back from the dead twice. 

Kaidan gave her a salute that would have been the picture of military propriety, if it hadn’t been for the wide grin on his face. 

Miranda touched Shepard’s shoulder and remarked with a hint of pride at how well her cybernetics had held up, and that Shepard was tough to kill.

Jacob gave Shepard a warm handshake and excitedly told her about his new baby, a baby girl that he had managed to convince Brynn not to name Shepard.

Samara gave Shepard a little bow and told her she was glad that the universe had decided it was not done with her.

Jack, who felt that she could not rightly punch Shepard, instead punched Garrus and crowed that Shepard was one tough bitch. 

Kasumi appeared out of thin air and cheerfully announced that she was glad Shepard was back among the living before cloaking herself once more. 

Zaeed told Shepard she was “a goddamn focking legend.”

Finally, it was time for her to face Joker. She turned to him, where he had hung back in the group. A fresh feeling of guilt hit her like a sucker punch when she saw just how depressed he looked. He didn’t look at all like the, well, “Joker” she remembered.

“Hey, Shepard,” He said when she turned to him. “Glad you’re back up, too bad we don’t have anymore Reapers to throw you at.” He paused, and Shepard saw him try to put on fresh bravado. “EDI would have been here, but uh...she didn’t make it.” He hung his head, and the room became quiet. Awkwardly so, pregnant with tension.

“Er, yeah...I’m sorry Joker.” Thinking that now was as good a time as any, she added, “Why don’t we take a walk? Garrus, everyone, we won’t take too long.”

Garrus gave her one last pitying look, and released his hold on her wheelchair. Shepard wheeled herself away, Joker following along with a puzzled expression. 

“What’s that about?” James murmured, looking after them.

“They have a lot to talk about,” Garrus replied. “And I guess while she explains to him, I should explain to all of you as well.”

So he did.

“What’re we doing out here, Shepard? We’re missing the party.” Joker asked, once Shepard had stopped in the hospital courtyard. This was probably the only thing she liked about the hospital; in this courtyard, flowers and trees grew where they didn’t elsewhere. A bench stood alone under a tree that had survived the Reapers, and Shepard wheeled over there. She was quiet until Joker sat down. 

“I wanted to talk to you, Joker. Alone.”

“I mean, it’s not much of a party, but still. Talking to me has got to be a lot lamer.” Joker responded, a ghost of his old humor in his voice before quickly becoming extinguished. 

“It’s about EDI,” Shepard went on, looking at her lap.

“Oh man, not you too,” Joker groaned. “Look, Shepard, I appreciate the thought but really? I don’t need your condolences.” He shook his head. “Everyone keeps saying how sorry they are for me. But it’s not true, is it? Not entirely. Because behind that sorry they’re all just relieved it wasn’t their partner or their family.” His voice broke, and he looked away, before continuing softly. “It wasn’t just EDI, you know? I got the news when we landed. My dad and sister are dead too.”

Shepard felt like the air had been knocked out of her. Her stomach in knots, she began without thinking. “Joker, I’m so so-” She caught herself, remembering what he had just said. Gently, she laid her hand on Joker’s arm. For a long moment they sat there quietly, Shepard hoping her touch offered Joker at least some small comfort. Before she had to add to his grief. 

“Joker...I don’t know how to tell you this.” Shepard finally began. She made herself look at him head-on. It was the least he deserved. “EDI’s death...it’s my fault.”

Joker looked back at Shepard, then looked quickly away. His voice came out robotic, rehearsed. “It’s not your fault. Who could have known that destroying the Reapers would mean the end of all synthetic life? You did what you had to do, what we set out to do.”

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you though, Joker.” Shepard replied, slowly. She took a deep breath. “I...learned beforehand that synthetic life would be wiped out. It was the condition of destroying the Reapers. And Joker, you deserve to know,”  her words came out in a rush now. “I had a choice...three of them. The two others involved controlling the Reapers or synthesizing synthetic and organic life. They both involved giving up my life and a whole lot of unknowns. In the end...I chose destruction.” She hung her head. “EDI was my friend, Joker, and so are you. I stand by my decision, but I’m sorry I had to make it. I’m so sorry.”

Joker was silent for a long time. Shepard knew better than to fill the silence with more talk. Instead she sat quietly, and watched the storm erupt on his face.

“No you’re not.” He finally said, his voice a low rumble. He shot a look of pure anger and hate at Shepard, and she felt her heart sink. “You’re not my friend, and you weren’t EDI’s.” He got up and in Shepard’s face. “I can’t believe I followed someone so selfish! You never cared for EDI like I did, none of you did! She was just a tool for you! But she meant something, Shepard! Her life meant something!”

He took his SR-2 cap off and threw it at Shepard’s feet. “I’m done,” he announced in a growl, and stalked off as much as his Vrolik’s disease would allow. “Find yourself a new pilot, Shepard. And a new friend.” He called over his shoulder, leaving Shepard behind and feeling like the most awful person in the galaxy.

Later that night, after all her friends had left, Shepherd cried her frustration, guilt, and grief out into Garrus’ shoulder. He held her and stroked her hair, knowing better than to tell her it was alright, or that everything was going to end up okay, because that wasn’t what she needed.

 Right now, she just needed an anchor to prevent her from floating away, and he would be that for her. 

She sobbed for a long while. Not just about what had happened with Joker, but over what had happened these past nearly four years. She had lost so much, and sacrificed so much. Ashley, Mordin, Thane, Legion, and EDI were all gone, in part because of her decisions. Her mistakes.

“I should have died,” Shepard whispered into Garrus’ shoulder, so quiet he almost didn’t hear her. “I should have done so many things differently. It should have been me.”

Garrus pulled away from Shepard, his hands firmly grasping her shoulder as he looked into her eyes. “Don’t ever say that,” He told her fiercely. “Shepard, you saved the world. You did all you could, gave all you had.” He shook his head. “We all knew the risks, we all made our choices. We can’t take them back now. And, Shepard,” he swallowed hard, and looked away. “I’m glad you made the decision you did. No option was perfect, but at least with this one, you live.” He touched her cheek. “Hearing we had beat the Reapers was a relief, sure. But it wasn’t until I heard you were alive that I felt truly hopeful again. You living is something I want to celebrate everyday until my last...so don’t ever say you wish it had been your life on the line.” He kissed Shepard tenderly.

She sniffled and pulled at Garrus until he was laying in her narrow hospital bed too. She lay against his chest, and he held her tight.

“That’s part of what makes me feel so guilty.” She murmured. “I’m happy I lived too. Happy that I can see a future with you.”

Garrus’ heart swelled. He kissed the top of Shepard’s head. “Get some sleep, Shepard. You have a long day of physical therapy tomorrow.” 

As she drifted fretfully into the peaceful embrace of sleep, Garrus held Shepard against him, his mind working and thinking late into the night. There was something he needed to ask James, or Kaidan, or Steve, one of the human men as soon as he was able. He squeezed Shepard, and fell asleep with the image of her nestled into the crook of his arm emblazoned in his mind.

[albasdragons]

Mistakes

"I said don't worry about it! It's none of your business! Why don't you get off my ass!"

"Why don't you grow up?! You can't keep going on like this, Sasha it isn't safe!"

The shouting match between the siblings was loud enough to wake everyone in the manor. Sadly, it was not the first time such an event had happened, and in the middle of the night too. From their bedroom, Orla and Tiberius II could clearly hear their children, now both young adults who should definitely know better. Both parents were getting sick of what was becoming a habit every tenday or so, beginning several months prior. Both had decided initially to intervene only when absolutely necessary, with the exception of the usual talking-to the next day when both were calm, to remind one that he was not his sister's boss, and to remind the other one that she could stand to practice a bit more self-discipline. But the volume of tonight's shouting was their cue to intervene immediately. Tiberius rolled his eyes and rolled out of bed, slipping his feet into his slippers and standing up with a sigh groaning about not being able to sleep or something. Orla adjusted her robe and followed.

As the couple walked down the couple hallways between their and their childrens' rooms, they almost wished they'd stayed in bed. There stood their 22 year old, still in his City Watch uniform, still dirty which told them he'd just ended his shift, and it had been a busy one. The young Tiberius Greymoore III had his father's name and looks, but was entirely different in temperament. Whereas the elder Tiberius valued adventure and spontaneity, his son thrived in routine. Another thing they had in common was that they rarely lost their composure. When the younger Tiberius- Ty- did, it was most likely his sister's fault. Sasha Greymoore, just 2 years his junior, was good at pressing buttons generally speaking, but more so those of her big brother, and sometimes without even trying. Their parents thought maybe it was because they were so close growing up, and Tiberius was very protective. Also because Sasha did what Sasha wanted, and not many could tell her otherwise. Tiberius was the opposite. He was a rule follower, and he did not tolerate mistakes well. Oftentimes, Tiberius, the elder, would have to sit down with his son to explain that it was not his responsibility to tell his sisters what to do, that he needed to let them get in trouble and make mistakes. And there stood their youngest daughter too, Lillianne Marguerite, watching the scene unfold from her bedroom at the end of the hall, her doorway only partially open, just enough so she could see. The elder Tiberius glanced her way and offered his daughter a reassuring smile, which she returned albeit not appearing so reassured.

"Kids, come on," the elder Tiberius tried to plead, but if either of his children heard they didn't show it.

"Oh my god, are you still talking?!"

"This is my house too, I am allowed to voice my opinions! You can't still be out at this hour, it's nearly 4 in the morning! You have no idea what's happening in the city lately!"

"I was just down the block! I was going to spend the night, but I decided to come home, because you asked me not to stay out all night anymore, remember!? You know, I don't have to listen to you! I don't have to do as you say, you don't make the rules! You're not dad! Stop acting like you are!"

"As if that would change anything! You don't listen to Father, you don't listen to anyone but yourself! You don't live alone, your decisions affect all of us,"

Sasha began to walk away toward her bedroom, when the young man added, "They always have, or have you forgotten?"

"That's enough," the elder male's interruption was firm, and authoritative enough to get the attention of both his children, and he had to if he didn't want things to get uglier. Unfortunately, with those few words, his son had stepped into dangerous territory. Tiberius stepped in between his son and his daughter, setting a hand on her shoulders to urge her to go on and sleep it off. But it was too late, he knew, as Sasha slowly turned back around to face her brother again, her face began to contort into an expression of rage he didn't often see.

Tiberius III understood immediately what he had just done, but it was done.

"I think we all should be going to bed--" Orla began, shooting her son a look that said he better stop talking now.

"Is that your go-to argument? Are you ever going to not pull that out every time you want to remind me that you're better?! I was a child! I thought I was making the best choice! Do you think you would have done better?! You really are incredibly stuck up! You think you're better than everyone! Captain Golden Boy Can Do No Wrong?!"

"Sasha, please stop now," Orla spoke up, and though their mother usually commanded more obedience simply by her demeanor, this time it only sparked the fires more.

"Why didn't you say that to him? You are always on his side! Why don't you ever take my side, just once?" Tiberius was doing his best to hold on to his daughter now, short of embracing her, but now the shouting had turned to crying. She leaned on her dad then, trying to calm herself and stop crying.

"She's been taking your side for five years now," Tiberius said, and this time both parents shot him a look of warning.

Sasha tried to wriggle out of her father's arms, "You know what's SO hilarious!? I've regretted that every single day! I wish I'd done something else! I should have taken him and left the house! I should have ran away with him, so you would never find us! Then at least I wouldn't have had to deal with you!"

"Right, and then I, mother, or father would have found you both dead in an alley in the Dock Ward somewhere? Where would you have gone? And if that's what you want, you need to be better, because the way you are headed you will never be a good enough mother for him."

"Tiberius!" both parents exclaimed angrily, both equally shocked at their son's words. This was unlike him, he was never vindictive, and would never purposely hurt either his sisters or their parents with his words, but they couldn't deny the gravity of what he had just done.

Sasha couldn't believe what she had heard either. She felt the anger, rage, bubbling up inside her, along with the feeling like she needed to scream, like she needed to vomit too. She began to feel like the ground was moving beneath her. She saw flashes of light for a second, began to feel short of breath. And there was a heavy pain suddenly that started at the top of her head and spread down throughout her entire body, as though something large had been set atop her head and she was being pushed down.

Sasha then felt like she had lost her senses and something else was in charge of her body, and all of her rage, sadness, and pain was focused on her brother, who now looked at her with a pitiful expression and was saying something she couldn't hear. He took a step toward her, and Sasha did not know where the words came from, but she spoke words that were foreign and at the same time felt familiar, and she moved her arms and hands in a certain way but had no idea why or how she knew. She set her hands together, and a blob of something formed in the space between her hands, and she couldn't say if she wanted to or not, but she hurled that blob of something toward the object of her rage, and saw her brother then screaming in pain and raising his hands to his face in anguish. She saw both their parents rush to Tiberius, and things were in slow motion for a moment. Sasha stood there in the hallway, watching her brother huddle down and her parents speaking fast, about potions and clerics or something.

And right around that time was when she heard another cry, one coming from a much younger child, from behind her. Sasha turned around to find the five year old boy that looked so much like her, standing there at the end of the hall, looking at her, having just seen what she had done.

"Edan..." her voice was soft now, as she took a step toward the boy, before her mother rushed between them, lifted the boy into her arms, held him almost protectively, and carried him away. Sasha felt frozen then, she watched her mother turn the corner and disappear for a while.

She still didn't fully realize what she had just done, but when she turned to look at her brother to see him still holding the left side of his face, and she could hear a faint sizzling sound, a smell she couldn't place, she knew it was bad. Their father, and now her younger sister and the housemaid also stood around the young man, helping him. She took a step toward them, but their dad looked at her with wide eyes, in fear, awe, or both. He looked like he was about to speak but didn't say anything and turned his attention to the young man sitting on the floor. Sasha lowered her head, began to back away and slowly turned around, more than willing to disappear into her bedroom, and wanting to never come out again.