#(no im not saying charlie has a capricorn personality- she's got goat hooves and horns and uses a TRIDENT)
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a-dauntless-daffodil · 7 months ago
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inspired by @alastcrs's chaggie comic, a sequel of sorts XD
Vaggie: "Sweetie, tell me you didn't give Sir Pentious dating advice."
Charlie: "No? I didn't?"
Vaggie: "Then babe what did you do?"
Charlie: "I just showed you off a little~"
Vaggie: (groaning) "The picture thing? The, have you seen my girlfriend joke? Again?"
Charlie: "Yep! Why?"
Vaggie: "We have to go save Pentious from Cherri Bomb."
Charlie: "Why would we need to- oh no. Oh, noooo-"
Vaggie: "Oh fucking yes."
-elsewhere and in danger-
Sir Pentious: (at random sinner) "Have you sssseen Miss Cherri Bomb~? Ssshe-"
Cherri Bomb: "DUDE WHATE THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?"
Sir Pentious: "-ah, I am, apprecsssiating you-?"
Cherri Bomb: "BY HELPING THE BOUNTRY HUNTERS FIND ME???"
Sir Pentious: "What- no! No I only, I wassss merely-"
Cherri Bomb: "THAT'S MY WANTED POSTER, DICK HEAD!"
Sir Pentious: "Well. Ah. Yesss."
Cherri Bomb: "GIVE IT HERE SO I CAN BURN IT"
Sir Pentious: (clutching wanted poster to chest) "Pleassse Cherri, noooo! It issssss, the only quality photo of you that I possessss-!"
Cherri Bomb: "Then just ASK me for another one like a normal person! Or stalk me like a normal creep! ANYTHING THAT DOESN'T END WITH WITH ME STUFFED AND MOUNTED ON SOME OVERLORD'S FUCKING WALL!!! Like, fuck- do you KNOW how much important shit I've blown up???"
Sir Pentious: "Oh yessss! You are very accomplissshed!" (beaming) "The weaponsss casssche last from year was essspecssially beautiful! All thossse, ssssecondary explosionssss...~"
Cherri Bomb: "YOU'RE gonna be a secondary explosion if you don't hand that poster over Right Now."
Sir Pentious: "Erm, before I do ssso... might I humbly requessst a replasscement photo of-"
Cherri Bomb: "No." (lights fuse) "Let go or go sky high with it."
Sir Pentious: "AH-!"
Charlie: (running) "Pen!" (skids to stop and grabs vaggie) "Holy shit that's a bomb- PEN JUST LET IT GO!!!"
Vaggie: "Pentious drop and take cover! It's not worth it!"
Sir Pentious: "But- sssshe ISSS worth-"
Cherri Bomb: "Bye bitch." (tosses bomb) (Runs)
Sir Pentious: "Ah, ssh-"
KABLOOMY
Vaggie: "...."
Charlie: "......"
Vaggie: "...we're gonna add self-worth sessions and healthy relationship boundary workshops to the hotel activities list, yeah?"
Charlie: "Oh yes. Definitely."
(splat) (splatter) (Splotch)
Charlie: "After, um, after Pen's collected himself a bit."
Vaggie: "Yeah... Maybe hold back on the 'i love my girlfriend' jokes around him too?"
Charlie: "....I'll." (pained grimace) "Try."
Vaggie: "All I ask, babe." (smooches her cheek) "C'mon. Let's gather up our snake man and head home."
Charlie: (sighs) "It would've worked if he'd just had a better picture-"
Vaggie: "Charlie."
Charlie: "They're cute together! He's all over her- it's adorable!"
Vaggie: "He's all over the street right now."
Charlie: "She used one of her better bombs on him this time." (picks up an arm and part of pentious's tail) "That has to mean something, right??"
Vaggie: "More work for us."
Charlie: "Hmm~ I bet you they kiss before the next extermination~"
Vaggie: "Sweetie." (grabs other arm and the torso) "If they kiss before one of them DIES I'll count it as your win."
Charlie: "No other time limit?"
Vaggie: "None."
Charlie: "And the prize if I win...?"
Vaggie: "Extra kisses. And I'll join your Cherri x Pentious group chat."
Charlie: "DEAL!"
Vaggie & Charlie: (shake pentious's hands over it)
-one kiss and death later-
>user (SpearOfSappho) has joined group BOMBSIRWAY FOREVR!!!
SpearOfSappho: hey
cute'n'cuddlycapricorn: ;-;
SpearOfSappho: charlie im so sorry
SpearOfSappho: would the extra kisses help?
cute'n'cuddlycapricorn: ! THEY KISSED AND NO ONE EVEN TOOK ANY PICS OF IT!!!!
SpearOfSappho: oh
cute'n'cuddlycapricorn: ANGEL x DEMON EMEMIES TO FRIENDS TO LOVERS SLOW BURN STAR CROSSED ROMANCE 100k LETS FUCKING GOOOOO!!!!!!!!
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