#(like dude are you not also just some sideline reporter? no need to act like you're better than aditi. BUT WHATEVER)

[cementcornfield]

Some of Tee and Ja'Marr's thoughts on the Tee Situation

Tee said to me 'right now I get to play with one of the, if not the, best quarterbacks in the game, I get to play with one of, if not the, best wide receivers in the game, that opens up so much more for me.' And then he said 'this offense is designed for so many different players to be spotlighted, the way that I am used in this offense so plays to my strengths.' And then he said to me, 'can you guarantee I can have that exact situation anywhere else?'

....

So do I think he's taking a home discount? No. But I do think that he is very very smart, he sees the whole picture out there...

....

It's very easy to compare this situation to what Ja'Marr had at LSU with Joe Burrow and Justin Jefferson. And Ja'Marr has said Tee is very different than Justin Jefferson. That every single minute with Justin Jefferson was a competition. That everything was who makes the more dynamic catch, who has more catches in practice, who runs faster? Everything was that way. Ja'Marr had to speak up and demand the ball a lot at LSU, because so was Justin. Ja'Marr told me that he doesn't have to do that in Cincinnati because Tee, and this is a quote from Ja'Marr, is one of the most unselfish humans you'll ever meet.

[erimeows]

Oh owo

What about a reader who's techno organic and joins the tfa bots? But unlike Sari they were made that way? Maybe a government experiment gone wrong or Powells up to something. The bots are pretty protective of the techno organic. However during a fight they get exposed to save their freinds??? The cons are taking an interest like excuse them

w h a t 👀 👀 👀

Hi! Glad to write this one, it seems fun. I'm gonna go ahead and make it Autobots Reacting To A Techno-Organic Reader and add the part about the Decepticons trying to recruit them in some of it, assume that the reader has become techno-organic in whichever/whatever way you’d like. Also assuming this request was meant to be romantic, so I'm going to write it kind of that way, if that's alright. Hope you enjoy!

Optimus Prime: Dude... He’s overly cautious with you. Doesn’t want you to use your powers until you fully understand them, doesn’t want you in the eye of the public, doesn’t want the Decepticons to know you exist, but it’s out of some weird combination of guilt and love that he has over you. He’s fallen in love with you from the very start, but he feels guilty that you’re always brought into his conflict with the Decepticons and even targeted by them, and sometimes that comes off in the wrong way. There’s conflicts all the time between the two of you, because while you argue that you’re an adult who’s fully capable of handling your own safety, he argues that he’s just trying to protect you and that for both of your sakes, you need to heed his advice. I imagine one of these arguments gets so heated that he just comes out of the box and admits to you that he’s not doing it only out of obligation, but out of the intense love he feels for you. 

Ratchet: He’s definitely more mature than the others about it. He worries about you, but knows that you’re a capable adult, and that you aren’t his property to protect and lock down, but a beautiful, thinking, strong techno-organic who he simply wants to see happy. So, his form of protectiveness is mostly just tagging along when you go places and helping you when you either ask for it or clearly need it, but those things don’t happen very often. He’s happy supporting and loving you from the sidelines.

Bulkhead: You revealed that you were techno-organic to the Autobots as soon as you met and that you’d grown up that way after some sort of failed experiment that you didn’t want to get into the traumatic details of, but Bulkhead felt like he understood you pretty well. Both of you were large and scary compared to others of your species, often feared without others getting to know you first because of your power, judged without question, so he felt like he got you to a certain extent. He becomes noticeably protective of you after you start trying to join their battles with the Decepticons against Optimus’s orders, telling you that it’s not your responsibility to get involved in their conflict. You end up confessing afterwards that you love him and appreciate how kind he’s been to you, and that any battle of his is a battle of yours, and he can’t help but feel the same way. 

Bumblebee: Bumblebee is both irresponsible and obsessed with you from the very start, which is a horrible combo. He was interested in you before he found out you were techno-organic, before you even technically joined their team, but for some reason, when you revealed your powers to the Autobot team to protect him from Blitzwing in the middle of a battle, he was told by Optimus to protect you- which made sense, of course. Decepticons were closing in on them and both the Elite Guard and the Decepticons wanted to take you for their own causes, and with Bumblebee being the closest to you and the best at getting out of conflicts fast, it was his job. He doesn’t take it as seriously as he probably should and uses it as an excuse to spend time with you, but you don’t seem to mind, enjoying the time watching movies and playing videogames and teaching him your hobbies/skills. 

Prowl: Prowl finds techno-organics quite fascinating; you’re soft skin and (h/l) (h/c) hair and (e/c) with metal on your body in your transformed mode. You’re very alive and soft and delicate, but strong and durable and tough at the same time. He admires your beauty, your intelligence, your abilities, and doesn’t mind you assisting him and his team in combat like some of the others would, but he finds that he frequently has to help you assist in warding off attempts from Decepticons like Starscream, Lugnut, Blitzwing, and even Swindle to convince you to join them and help their cause with your powers. He doesn’t mind that either, enjoys the bonding that comes with battling by your side, even. The two of you sneak off a lot and go on camping trips together.

Ultra Magnus: The main reason you interact with him is that since unlike Sari, you’re an adult, and he wants to get to the bottom of how Cybertronian technology got into human hands to make techno-organics like yourself and Sari. So, with you and your team’s permission, he has the best scientists in the Elite Guard come to earth to do studies and research on you. He’s typically around supervising, and you and him become close, to say the least. He didn’t think he’d have much in common with you since you’re a young adult human and he’s an older Cybertronian, but you two have a lot of the same struggles; alienated by those you’re around for the power you hold, a lack of close relationships, unsure of how to handle all of your responsibility and the pressure to perform that comes with both of your positions. It’s difficult, and though he doesn’t divulge much, he finds it therapeutic to talk to you when no one else is around and finds himself harboring feelings for you after a while. 

Sentinel Prime: Sentinel assumes you’re just any regular human until he sees you absolutely clobber the Headmaster in your newly transformed, techno-organic body to get his body back for him after you and Optimus find his head on the city streets of Detroit. He didn’t know you possessed that kind of power and realized there was a reason for that lack of knowledge when Optimus immediately started scolding you for using your powers. After that, you were on the news since some reporter caught camera footage of you in your robotic form, and Decepticons started trying to lure you out of the base and talk to you/talk you into joining them. If Sentinel was being honest, he’d been wary of you at first for being organic, but after you stepped up to get his body back for him with Optimus despite him having been so rude to you, his opinion changed, and he quickly started developing feelings. So, he volunteered himself to help guard you from the Decepticons and train you to fully utilize your abilities, even if you were fully capable. Throughout the weeks of him being by your side, he softens up around you a lot, learning to laugh and joke and even be vulnerable with you until it hits him- oh, dear, he’s smitten with you. Definitely the most protective out of all of the Autobots and doesn’t like you being out of his sight, loves spending time with you even though he won’t admit it, etc. 

Jazz: He thinks you’re neat! As a bot who loves earth and earth culture, he’s fascinated by you, someone who’s both human and Cybertronian by the looks of it; you’re beautiful, intelligent, strong, and have an array of powers that you don’t bother hiding from anyone. However, that makes you a prime target for the Decepticons, who try to either eliminate you or recruit you whenever you have encounters, so Jazz is put in charge of keeping you safe and away from Autobot/Decepticon encounters while he’s on earth. You’re upset by it at first, upset that you can’t help your friends and need to be protected, but Jazz tries to ease the brunt of the emotional wound by keeping you company instead of acting only as a guard. The two of you share earth music, talk into the late hours of the night, and go exploring your favorite spots despite everyone telling you to stay at the base (it’s fine as long as he’s protecting you, right?). He falls for you pretty quick, admiring your strength and sense of adventure, and he has no problem singing his praises to you.

[ialreadyreadthatfanfic]

So I saw the new Star Wars movie

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT PEOPLE

First off: I went to a marathon of the whole sequel trilogy with my friends, and I’m glad that I did, because I forgot A LOT.

Mostly how many good memes there were born out of those films.

The Force Awakens evoked pretty much the same feeling it did during the first watching: it’s a good, enjoyable beginning, with a lot of hooks, not a lot of risks, a bit too much resemblance to the original trilogy, but on the whole a promising start.

The Last Jedi, on the other hand. I forgot how effectively this movie killed my interest in Star Wars for a long, long while. The plot is a mess. Most of the characters are unlikeable, because the idiot balls they’re holding are too big to get past them. Main offenders are: Poe, Hondo, Finn and Rose. The unfortunate Casino subplot, which is tiring. The fact that whoever wrote Rose’s character arc (or rather didn’t bother to write it) did the actress massive disservice, because the way Rose “saves” Finn at the last minute is, frankly, rage inducing and makes her character devoid of any shred of consistency. I have a lot of other complaints about this movie, but the storylines not making sense are a common theme, so let’s not rehash the familiar arguments.

Now, onto the main event.

The Rise of the Skywalker was… mostly okay.

For me personally, it would be hard to match the disappointment of TLJ, so this worked to lift the sequel ROTS up. I went in pretty much unspoiled, actually! I heard the “oh they plan to bring Palpatine back” thing back when the first teaser/trailer was released. But after that nothing more.

Number one: Leia.

It’s such a shame that Carrie Fisher didn’t get to act in this movie. There are several scenes with Leia mentoring Rey, but it is obvious the filmmakers went as far as they could with the footage they had available, but could go no further. Some scenes with Luke and Han (Han especially) are obviously done with Mark and Harrison standing in for Carrie.

Number two: Palpatine and the theme of Rey’s legacy.

This is where the lack of overall plan for the sequel trilogy, and subsequent lack of proper foreshadowing in TFA and TLJ hurts the most, probably. So Rey is revealed to be Palpatine’s granddaughter. Her parents chose to abandon her for her own safety and were killed when they refused to give up her location. Okay, that’s interesting backstory. Sadly, after the WHO ARE REY PARENTS… PERHAPS SOMEONE WE KNOW and the OMG PLOT TWIST SHE’S NO ONE AND HE PARENTS DIDN’T CARE FOR HER AT ALL, the third plot twist gets me merely to roll my eyes and sigh heavily. I wish dearly there was more time to develop this storyline. It’s wasn’t ENTIRELY bad, but the whole thing has this feel of “uhhh people were really pissed off after the last one… what can we do to fix it?? Oh shit we kinda killed Snoke too and there is Big Bad Villain missing bc we want to redeem Kylo… you know what?? Palpatine was the big bad in prequels AND in the original… let’s have a dramatic reveal how it was him all along. It will nicely bring the story back full circle, you know” and so they did just that.

Nr two subsection A: the whole Sith legacy/Final Order thing was interesting, but again: too little time to develop it. It should have been tied into First Order and Snoke in previous movies… and the less said about Deus Ex Machina Sith Fleet in which every ship has a planet-killing weapon on board the better. Just don’t thing about it too much PLEASE.

Conclusion: Snoke was Palpatine’s test tube baby experiment? That actually explains a lot…

Number three: redemption of Ben Solo.

Honestly, this one? Is actually a net positive for me! I had so little patience for Kylo Ren as a villain that redemption storyline actually made me like Ben Solo in the last part of the movie (AT LAST). And while two first movies had me uninterested in Reylo to the point of irritation at its prevalence, the last movie actually made me ship it a little! Maybe I’m a sucker for redemption. Maybe I don’t have patience for characters who themselves have no idea why are they doing what are they doing and they kinda maybe might not want to do it but continue to do it because it’s easier than giving it up aaand you get the picture how I saw Kylo Ren. And how glad I’m that Ben Solo at the end got to move past this stage of his character.

Also, the Reylo Force Skype was strong in this one. And how!

Number four: Finn and the Stormtroopers deserters.

Again, this should have been in TLJ. They should have taken this whole storyline about Finn meeting other deserters from First Order out of sequel ROTS and replaced the goddamn casino thing with it in TLJ. Sadly, they only thought of putting it in the script once the fanbase got pissed off about lack of Finn’s character development/his BACKWARDS character development in TLJ.

Consequently, Rose was sidelined. On one hand, it’s a shame. On the other, I’m a bit relieved; after the mess they made of her arc in TLJ, there was no salvaging it. It’s better to let the actress have a few scenes to note that she didn’t just disappear from the plot, but don’t try to aggressively resurrect her plot and make an even bigger mess.

The unintentionally hilarious thing about this point: Finn suddenly comes across as such Casanova. Here’s Rose! Here’s Stormtrooper deserter lady! (sorry, I forgot her name). Here’s a sly hint that he might have feelings for Rey!! Pick a girl, for god’s sake!!!

Nr four subsection A: Poe also got an old flame lady Who Happens To Help Our Heroes. Just so you know that he’s definitely into ladies, you know, just a heterosexual dude… The relationship in the movie is handled actually pretty well – they’re old flames and while Poe wants to rekindle the relationship, the lady is ultimately like “nope” and the Poe does “aw” face and moves on, so pretty classy overall. Just in the context of Finnpoe and great chemistry they had in the first movie? This is such a shame.

Number five: Poe in charge and the Resistance thing.

Poe’s storyline in The Last Jedi totally ruined this for me, sorry. I couldn’t even get all that invested.

Also, it feels at times like the movie wants to have Poe taking up Leia’s legacy, Rey taking up Leia’s legacy, Ben taking up his mother’s legacy and you know what? Leia’s legacy is big. There’s definitely enough to go around! TOO BAD THERE’S NOT ENOUGH TIME IN THE MOVIE TO SHOW ALL THIS PROPERLY YOU KNOW GOD I WISH THERE WAS MORE ABOUT LEIA’S JEDI TRAINING

Number six: the ending.

Rey and Ben fighting together – I was actually finally sold on Reylo at this point. Their fight together in TLJ against Snoke’s guards was pretty cool (one of few good things in THAT movie), and here their shared fight against Palpatine/Knights of Ren (?) was also great.

Palpatine shooting the force lighting into the sky to disable the whole Rebel fleet and friends apparently got someone in the cinema to go “seriously?!” out loud, as my friends report. Enough said.

Rey dying and Ben trying to bring her back to life: this part actually got me really excited. For a moment there I thought that Ben would fail, and the force ghost Anakin would show up to Deliver Some Hard Earned Wisdom About Bringing People Back To Life And How You Can’t Do It and this would be a very satisfying ending to the whole “Ben/Kylo tries to be Just Like Grandpa Vader” storyline. Well, that didn’t happen.

The fact that Ben brough Rey back, then kissed her passionately, and then IMMEDIATELY KEELED OVER DEAD got the whole theatre laughing (me included). Again, enough said.

The “Galaxy Shows Up To Help Out BC The Resistance Asked Twice And They Felt Bad After Ignoring The First Call”: I got it. You want your feel good moment here. Look how happy ending is when the people of galaxy unite together, aww. Sadly, when you think about it for a two seconds more, this is such a bullshit and disservice to Leia, because the implication is that they didn’t pick up when LEIA was calling, but decided to help after all when LANDO asked… What??? Go fuck yourselves.

The ending-ending was ok. Rey, Finn and Poe hugged (aww!). Two ladies kissing in that 0.5 sec long shot are all Disney needs to show how open-minded they are*. That one kiss with Ben was apparently enough to marry Rey into the family, she’s a Skywalker now. Leia and Luke look approvingly on as they force ghost along, that’s nice.

At least people who wanted Rey to have a double blade got what they wanted in the end.

 *So it’s actually genuinely good that scenes like these ARE put into cashcow franchises like Star Wars, but I’m hesitant to give Disney too much credit. Knowing them, they’ll just shove one blink-and-miss-it scene in all their movie and claim that’s comprehensive proof of their supportive approach to alternate lifestyles.

[voidendron]

I'd like to hear more about the mirror AU, if you're so inclined!

Gladly! :D

It’s a really weird AU to write because of just how opposite the Egos are in it, and I bet that makes it even weirder to read, but it’s a universe I have a lot of fun with! it was also created to be 100% self-indulgent because I’m a sucker for these kinds of AUs

I’ve already mentioned this (probably a few times oops ^^” ) but the big-bads are Chase, the King, Henrik, and Bing, with Chase and King probably being the most dangerous.

I’ll put it under a read more because oof. It got a lot longer than I anticipated but I love this AU so I should’ve expected it ^^”

I was just going off the top of my head, so I may have missed a few

I explain Chase more here

The King has an ability that isn’t quite mind control, but the others aren’t really sure what else to call it. It allows him to take control of his victim’s body, but they can still think freely, and if their will is strong enough they may also be able to speak. The Host is now immune to the ability due to losing his eyes. (he has the same ability in other universes, but can only use it on animals) King took over Ego Incorporated’s city and calls it his kingdom.

Bing and Google kind of swap roles, with Bing now being the one hellbent on destroying mankind. They’re both super tech-savvy, but Bing’s better at getting around Google’s firewalls and making files corrupt than Google is at protecting them. Google was more laid back, but tightened up a lot after Bing destroyed the Upgrades. Since there’s no actual laws/authorities in the Figmental Plane, Google’s been working to pinpoint the weaknesses of Bing and the others in an attempt to help his comrades take them out for good.

Henrik and Edward are both black market dealers who use their “patients” as the goods, carefully dissecting them to sell their organs for ridiculous prices. Henrik is more hands-on, with his go-to weapon being a meat cleaver. Edward relies more on poisons/hallucinogens. They absolutely hate each other and have tried to kill each other on more than one occasion. Hen works directly with Chase, and was the main man in corrupting Jackieboy to their side with torture and brainwashing, with Bing and Chase working more on the sidelines for that one. As such, Jackie is loyal only to Henrik. Henrik also has two kids--twins named Elias and Emil. Chase had ordered Hen to kill them and their mother (afraid they’d hold him back), and Wilford saved them in the nick of time, though wasn’t there in time to save their mom.

Host and Anti act as active parts of their creators’ respective fandoms, pretending to be theorists in a vain attempt to get the fans to see things from the right angle and help them. They don’t want the fans to know they’re real--for their own safety--but are also desperate for their help. Anti’s also an editor, creating gifs/moodboards/whatever he can of the good Septics/Ipliers to get them as much attention as they can. Host is strictly a “theorist,” and when not trying to get the fans’ help, he’s often leading patrols of two or three to check around the Hideaway for dangers. Host lost his eyes when the King tool control of him and forced him to stab them out with a pen; King had discovered Host had been saving his victims and. Really didn’t take kindly to it-

Bim and Jameson are spies. It’s a loose term for Bim, who purposefully tries to get the attention of the baddies to lure them in so that he can gather more information on them. Wilford usually has to teleport in for a quick save before whoever Bim lured can kill/capture him. JJ is a true spy. With him, I took the whole “he’s a spy/puppet of Anti” headcanon some people have and switched it around. Here, Chase thinks he has control over Jameson. Nah. JJ’s playing you like a fiddle, dude, and collecting all the juicy info while he’s at it. 

Dark is the oldest, and was created when Mark had no idea wtf he was doing. The problem is that, unlike Main Dark who was developed over time, Mark wasn’t able to work more on Mirror Dark’s development because it was around that time that King came around and tried to fuckin kill their creator (because “wait??? you guys are REAL????”) Now, Dark is a coward who has no idea how to use their powers and freakin accidentally teleports when startled. Now that Elias and Emil are in the Hideaway, the group’s found Dark is really good at caring for them, though, and Dark was the first one of the bunch the twins even remotely trusted.

Speaking of twins, the Jim Twins are politicians (or, as close as the Figmental Plane gets to politicians). Because what’s the opposite of reporters who share everything they find out? That’s right. The’re split up between Incorporated and Central’s cities and try to cover everything up. Don’t let Anti and Host reach out to the fans, don’t let other Guardians and their cities know what’s going on here in case the baddies decide to expand their reach, tell Bing when Google gets something he shouldn’t, stay on the King and Chase’s good sides. The Mirror Twins are total suck ups.

With the absence of doctors for the heroes of the AU, Jacques took it upon themself to put down their art and start studying. Unlike Main Jacques, Mirror is really good under pressure; they have steady hands, they learn fast, who better for the job when Google’s too busy for it? They’re always worried about the others and are the first to greet them when they arrive back to the Hideaway after patrols or fights to check them over for injuries, all while Muse follows protectively at their heel. They still miss their art, but they know the group desperately needs a doctor and hopes when it’s all over, they can get back to what they love.

Wilford acts as the heroes’ leader. He’s calm and collected, and will be the at the front of the line when the group’s doing something dangerous, and the last to return to the Hideaway after ensuring the others made it first. Many of the plans they have are ones he came up with with Google’s help; Google acts as a second-in-command type of figure. Host and Dark are his best friends and he’s always hesitant to let either of them leave the Hideaway on their own because of it. He’s also aware of the other versions of himself scattered through different universes. He’s not sure what to make of it and keeps it to himself.

Marvin is strictly neutral and finds amusement in watching the games of cat and mouse that the others play. He resides within Ego Central, and is the only one the building permits inside. None of the others even know what it looks like inside. He has a massive room full of screens where he can watch the other Septics, and sometimes if things are particularly boring he might...ah. Stir the pot a little, so to say, to piss someone off and get a fight started. He’s also aware of the other versions of himself scattered through different universes which...probably isn’t a good thing. He keeps quiet about it, though is curious if cross-universe travel is possible.

Jackie was actually created as a superhero. When Sean realized how out of hand Mark’s evil Egos were getting, he offered to lend a hand and created Jackie to help out. Everything was good for quite a while. Jackie was friends with the other heroes, chatted a lot with Dark, Anti, and Host. Then Chase was created, not by Sean, but by the fans. Then Henrik, accidentally so, when their creator was playing Surgeon Simulator. With Bing’s help, Chase subdued Jackie and took him to Henrik. From there, he was tortured and brainwashed until he couldn’t even remember his own name and was made into nothing more than Henrik’s attack dog.

Not sure how Eric, Illinois, Yancy, and Magnum should play into the AU yet

It’s one of those types of AUs where it seems hopeless for the heroes. Every time they gain a step forward, the villains leap over them to shove them two steps back.

[kokotaro]

Hey! May I request aizawa’s male s/o meeting 1-A with Aizawa blackmail ?

you sure can! i’ll keep the blackmailing simple! enjoy

word count: 1469 (sorry if it’s short! i’m sleepy bc it’s like 2 am lmao)

“Ah-” Aizawa Shota, was completely caught.

There he stood in front of his entire first year class in the middle of the field. They were preparing for a physical exam to check each students progress, however, a certain someone decided to make a surprise visit. For what reason, the teacher had no idea, but he assumed it was important. A cough was heard from one of the students in the somewhat small crowd in front of them and Aizawa shot them a look that said, ‘make another noise and you’re all dead.’ to which everyone shut up immediately. There weren’t snickers, giggles, or hushed chatter amongst them anymore.

“What brings you here?” He asked. His boyfriend produced an envelope in between his index and middle finger. As the man held up the slim piece of paper, a smirk came to his lips and a look of dread and horror sculpted into Aizawa’s features. He heard someone snort then ‘Dude shut up!’

“One more peep and you’re all running laps for the rest of the day.” He snapped. His boyfriend guffawed. “I can’t believe you really are this mean to the poor kids!” He laughed so hard he had to wrap an arm around his midsection and his fingers clutched around the paper. The teacher tried to calm down his significant other as a slight blush began to blossom onto his cheeks because he knew exactly what he was going to say and he would be damned if he was just going to let himself be exposed right in front of his students.

“Oh, you are such a hard ass, Shota.” The male pretended to wipe a tear from his eye. Aizawa became too distracted to calm down the giggles and chirps that rose from the teens once again. His hands were full.

“Anyways! I brought this report you forgot at home and since I couldn’t reach you in the classroom, I just came out here.” He hummed while neatly straightening out the envelope after accidentally crushing it in his fight of laughter. “There’s some really important and even sweet stuff in here, I’m assuming. I don’t even get this kind of treatment back at home.” He pouted. A choked back laugh caught his attention and he turned to be facing towards class 1-A, his hands landing on his hips that made the paper get held right out of Aizawa’s reach. When he tried to move closer to grab it his boyfriend would move away swiftly and keep it on the opposite side of the pro hero. “So this is the famous class you speak fondly of.”

“Woah woah woah- hold on, rewind, did you say fondly? As in actually feeling affectionate and loving towards someone else?” A student piped up. He had blonde hair with a black streak in it.

“Yup. What’s your name?”

“Kaminari Denki.”

“Ah, the electricity quirk.”

“So that means-!”

Uh oh. Bad news for the teacher.

“He does talk about us!” A frenzy began.

“Don’t you dare-” Shota warned. He knew what was coming but his boyfriend blatantly chose to ignore him. 

His eyes scanned over each face and a warm smile spread across his features. Aizawa rushed forward to cover his mouth with an embarrassed expression. The couple stared at each other momentarily and the hero could feel a smirk forming on his boyfriend’s lips which definitely worried him and oh my god no why is he getting closer to the kids. Aizawa was too flustered by the whole ordeal to even react properly and he found himself being lifted from the floor, staying in midair. Shit. It was rare, but, sometimes he did get caught off guard and he was given the upper hand to use his quirk. The quirk itself was simple air manipulation but it was a hell of a thing when he needed it to be.

“Let’s see here. You must be Ochako!” His hand shaped as if he were holding a doll and moved whenever Aizawa would squirm. The man made sure to lift him high enough that if he erased his quirk, he’d most likely be hurt when he fell back down to the floor.

“Y-Yes!” The girl squeaked out. “How did you guess?” She asked.

“You have bright eyes, warm smile, slightly round face and a hair color that reminds him of maple syrup. The little pads on your fingers activate your quirk, Zero Gravity. He thinks highly of you.” He chuckled at the blush that popped up on her fair cheeks and the spitting laughter that came immediately afterwards. Seems like the whole class got a kick out of it too. “Shut-!!” Aizawa tried to tell him to shut up but he couldn’t finish.

His eyes landed on a more timid looking young man who was directly next to Ochako, yet didn’t necessarily make himself stand out. “Ooooh, you’re Izuku, huh?” He asked and the boy jumped, nodding quickly as his body stiffened up. His free hand landed on his shoulder. “He talks a lot about you too. Told me that he tried to scare you on the first day by saying something about your potential.” He shook his head, obviously exasperated. “Sorry about that, kiddo. But! Your quirk is amazing! Don’t be scared of what may come, just live in the moment and let it happen.”

Aizawa could be heard in the background. “I can’t believe you!” 

The students all seemed to want to have their names guessed and he was more than happy to oblige.

But first, he had to set Aizawa down. Holding him in the air for so long was starting to hurt his arm. The teacher rushed up to him and grabbed him by his shoulders. “I will give you literally anything if you just stop embarrassing me!” He knew there was going to be heavy teasing after this from the small bits his boyfriend gave alone! He shuddered imagining what it would be like if he actually kept going.

“Anything?” His brow sneakily slid up and he smirked again.

“Anything.” He repeated. “Just. Stop it.” He muttered.

“Awww, I don’t need anything from you… Well, maybe, but that’s not my point right now!” The gentleman stated. He squished Aizawa’s cheeks and pecked his lips. “I’ll tell you what I want later.” He hummed then glanced to the students. “Can I still guess their names though?”

As if on cue, every student (excluding Katsuki, Shouto, and Fumikage) yelled out their own plea to get Aizawa to cave in and agree. There weren’t necessarily clear ones being thrown at him but there were enough to make him give in a bit too quickly in the end. There’s been a lot happening already for the one day, and he needed it to be over soon. Not that he didn’t love his boyfriend or anything, same for the students, but both at once was a struggle to manage all at once. Especially when he didn’t act the same way towards his partner as he did with his pupils. That would be just weird.

“..Fine.” Shota sighed. An eruption of cheers followed and he didn’t even find the energy to be annoyed with the ordeal anymore. But he knew as soon as his boyfriend left, those students would have hell to pay.

There was about fifteen to twenty more minutes spent on name guessing, matching the quirk to the student, advice, and easygoing conversations. It was an enjoyable day to say the least and when it was time to go he was surprised with practically everyone asking if he really had to leave or if he could stick around for a little bit longer. He wanted to, very much so! But he also knew that they had other priorities they needed to get through (such as their well overdue physical exam) and he somehow convinced them to do their work and left them with a quick ‘Do your best!’ before moving off to the sidelines.

It wasn’t much longer until Shota strolled up to him once the kids were warming up on their own for ten minutes and he stood by his side to wrap an arm around his waist. He returned the gesture and rest his head on his shoulder lightly.

“They’re a great group, Shota.” He breathed.

“They’re going to be a hell of a lot worse now that you ratted me out.” He muttered in return.

“Oops?” He chuckled.

“Yeah, oops.” Aizawa couldn’t help but laugh in return. He pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

“Y’know. This will probably only make you all grow closer in the long run.” He added and the teacher nodded once in agreement.

“Thanks.. I guess.” His tone was playful and he pinched his side.

“You’re very welcome.” He laughed, and pinched him back.

[noddytheornithopod]

Okay, here’s my full thoughts on the Phineas and Ferb effect, SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT:

My feelings are growing increasingly mixed. I want to make it clear that I DID enjoy the episode despite the language barrier, and it’s likely many issues I have could be fixed when we get English subtitles, but given how a lot of stuff was handled, I’m not sure how much is gonna be fixed. I mean, many people who watched the Russian dub of AYA didn’t change opinions at all when the English version finally came out. Time for specifics:

- Okay I know what you’re all wondering: how did I feel about Isabella’s appearance? My feelings are like the episode overall, mixed. When I saw her and the Fireside Girls show up to rescue the others I was pretty happy, and seeing her turned into a Pistachion now turned against Phineas and Ferb was quite terrifying. But then... I started to think. I don’t really have an issue with the fact her role was absurdly small (apparently Bradley has more lines lol), I mean based on the promos I was expecting it to be so. My issue was more how poorly integrated into the story she was.

Like, I can see an early version of the episode with her being with Buford and Baljeet (you know, what I thought was the most logical way to go :V), but then they wrote themselves into a corner with Phineas, Ferb, Milo and co being captured and someone needed to get them out. Ergo, Isabella was then written to go guerilla with the Fireside Girls (which does make sense at least) and then show up to untie them and drop off the Milo mech.

Like I said, in-universe this is all perfectly logical. My issue is how Isabella was basically just there to be a plot device, not only that but what is basically a deus ex machina to free the others. She did her plot things, and then all she was there for was to be transformed and brainwashed into a pistachion minion. And then after she becomes herself again, she doesn’t show up with the other friends at the end, which I find pretty weird. Like, okay, Isabella didn’t get to meet the MML characters properly so I can see the reasoning I guess, but it still felt odd that now things were normal she wasn’t hanging out with them? I guess Fireside Girl duties call for a report on the nut people invasion or something lol. Or the rift between her and Phineas is already beginning, cue Act Your Age music.

- SPEAKING OF DEUS EX MACHINAS... I don’t know if they set this up in any dialogue, but I kinda doubt it. But anyway... Professor Time. Besides some things I’ll get to in a bit, the way he resolved everything was my least favourite thing about the ep. Like, he literally just shows up at the end, picks up Orton and takes him back to 1965 to kill Derek. And like... if he was going to do that anyway, does this mean if nobody did anything and Orton just needed to be sent back to his time, everything was basically pointless? Like, I REALLY hope there’s dialogue clarifying this, because if Professor Time just shows up and goes and kills Derek with Orton anyway, it basically renders the episode pointless, which is pretty unfortunate.

This isn’t something I thought about at first, but it’s also pretty weird that we have such major information about Doofenshmirtz being dropped here after his show? Others have better articulated thoughts on this than I do, but it’s pretty odd. I think it was described to me like it was instead about this persona Doofenshmirtz has invented for himself instead of Doof himself.

- Probably the main thing I was initially disappointed with at first was Candace. At first everything seemed fine. I’ve seen some concern over whether she was in character, but so far everything seemed fine to me. Well, until she was captured. Then she was suddenly gone in the final act, only there to be tied up and turned into a pistachion. Like, the scenes with Candace and Milo seem great already, but then suddenly she’s not important. She’s basically THE main character of PnF, and she’s a complete non-presence in the final act. I forget if she even had any lines there. And like Isabella, she doesn’t show up with the others at the end, except with her it makes sense for her to since she got to know the others.

Seriously, she appears and is in the plot, but then suddenly she doesn’t even matter. It’s so messily written. I’ve been discussing her with other people too and they also find it odd that she didn’t really have much agency in the plot, which is probably because we’re used to her being a protagonist, she’s always there with her own strong plot or character arc for the episode while here she’s merely a supporting character. This isn’t her story, sure, but she doesn’t exactly get to do much here in terms of actual plot contribution even if she did suggest weaponsing Murphy’s Law. I also looked at reactions where she didn’t feel too in-character, and while I disagree with the idea overall, I do see that because she’s now a supporting character her defining traits aren’t really there? As a result, the lack of character focus means we don’t get to explore much of how she feels about this, which I guess people find off because she’s such a strong character who always has some major reactions to things. I felt like her pessimism towards Milo made sense, and I mean overall I didn’t think Candace was OOC, but I think it’s more that she was just given such a minor role compared to what she’s used to that she didn’t get much time to shine beyond the Milo interactions.

Also... her introduction was eh. I did like the shadow gag and I get she was focused on her phone and stuff, but it felt pretty random for her to just show up unassuming of anything going on (I mean, everything is fucking decaying around her lol). Also... Ducky Momo Go. It was such a serious “HOW DO YOU DO FELLOW KIDS?” moment.

- Say, speaking of “HOW DO YOU DO FELLOW KIDS?”... Baljeet dabbing. I have no words. BALJEET FUCKING DABBING. WHAT EVEN WAS THAT?

- Baljeet and Buford are... interesting. Baljeet was probably one of the better handled character in my eyes actually. Like, he wasn’t too big, but it made sense for a character like him. He had memorable moments interacting with Zack and Melissa (and... THAT), and he actually contributed to the plot by helping figure out how to do the whole Milo mech thing. I definitely want to hear his dialogue for sure. Buford on the other hand was completely pointless narrative wise. He was just there because we gotta have all the main Phineas and Ferb characters so we can have our big reunion and then make him an evil brainwashed nut dude in the climax.

- Alongside Candace the other PnF character I feel really got screwed over was Perry. Again, he shows up and is great (even if I was surprised how short his time with Milo was) and is there doing stuff, but then suddenly he’s sideline to the point of basically not even existing. When they go to the island, I forget if he’s even there. Doof could’ve used his company I feel. :V And again in the final act, he’s only there briefly and then is irrelevant once Phineas sees him. Like, he just shows up, beat up some pistachions, Phineas sees him and then he and Diogee disappear from the episode. We really could’ve used your help against Derek and his machine, Perry. :V And yeah, Diogee is similar. He just is there for a bit and disappears from the episode.

- The Island of Lost Dakotas reveal is something I’m going to have to wait on. The stuff we saw seemed good enough, but I’m definitely going to need the English dialogue to make a true judgement. I’ll say this though: I’m not sure if this was the right place to have this reveal. We didn’t get much time exploring Cavendish’s reaction before they got the Dakotas as their army to fight the pistachions, I feel like Cavendish discovering the island is something that deserves its own episode focused on it. In general Cavendish and Dakota were good though.

- Phineas and Ferb were mostly fine I feel. I did see some saying Ferb’s role felt minor, but I felt like he was at least there enough (and to be fair being the quiet one he’s also had this situation before, like in AT2D). That English clip where he says “nutjobbers” just feels off to me though. Like, besides Baljeet, they were actually there doing stuff and had a presence in the story. Milo worked as well I think overall, given he’s the protagonist and such. I did like what we saw of their interactions, and of course the idea of using positive PnF energy to weaponise Milo’s negative energy was really cool.

- Zack and Melissa are kind of a Buford and Baljeet situation. Melissa was there enough to warrant her presence and she was doing stuff, but Zack didn’t really have much of a presence. It wasn’t as bad as Buford, but he didn’t really have anything to do. Where Melissa and of course Zack fail though is the final act - they’re the other main characters alongside Milo in Milo Murphy’s Law, and like Candace their presence was barely there. They didn’t really do anything relevant in the final act after being freed except joining the brainwashed nut people horde. They at least were there at the end, but still I’m not exactly satisfied with their roles in the episode.

- All of the other characters were fine even if they were minor I guess. Minor characters are gonna be minor, lol.

- Most of the gags I caught despite the language barrier were funny. As said, I still enjoyed the episode even if I found its handling of the characters quite botched.

- The music department was good, I can’t wait to hear both Baljeet’s version of Chop Away at my Heart and the Orton and Doof duet. I liked the scoring too, some themes I did recognise from earlier PnF and MML material but some stuff seemed new, I’m not sure if I heard the rock score during the pistachion battle before (around when pnf and milo get the mech and derek is turning their friends into pistachions).

- Animation was fine, I guess? Some stuff looked a bit off but it might have just been lighting or a low budget. I think some of the closer details may be off but I’m not here to nitpick, I didn’t find anything super distracting.

- I think the issues with the characters and plotting are down to one big factor: it’s a crossover trying to cram too much into 44 minutes, that and also meant to resolve story arcs from Season 1 of Milo Murphy’s Law. They wanted to do this big special where all of the PnF and MML characters get to play off each other, but we unfortunately didn’t seem to get much of that (though maybe English dialogue will remedy that). Instead of actually getting to compare and contrast the characters and themes of the show, they had to focus on the plot to resolve the pistachion storyline (a plot solved by a deus ex machina no less). As a result, we get something that’s more plot driven than character driven, which is not what a crossover should be.

Also, this only really confirms my fears about Milo Murphy’s Law being stuck in Phineas and Ferb’s shadow. After seeing something that was this messily written despite being enjoyable, I definitely think Milo Murphy’s Law crossed over with Phineas and Ferb too soon. I don’t feel like they absolutely needed Phineas and Ferb in this storyline, not when they didn’t really get to explore the themes and characters of the respective shows. It’s like they were pushed to have the crossover too early despite always intending to have both shows in the same universe, and thus we get something where the PnF characters are here simply because they have to be instead of it feeling more natural.

Simple things that I think would’ve made it work better? If they had to do the pistachion storyline, give us less characters. It feels so all over the place and imbalanced. I would’ve been fine with just Phineas, Ferb and Candace in the A-plot to be honest. Less awkward spreading out thinly and more time devoted to the central characters of each show. But to be honest... I feel like a crossover shouldn’t have been plot driven like this. The characters here had to resolve a complex plot instead of getting most of their time to be themselves. They could still have some event to generate conflict of course, but it should be something where the characters interacting gets focus and they drive the story instead of it being something where they have to serve a plot first and all of that comes second.

Also I think it should be acknowledged: like Act Your Age (which I feel has shockingly similar parallels to this situation), I think hype backlash is certainly a possibility in how I feel. Like I’m not gonna lie, I am disappointed. Still though, even if it’s a factor, the fact that I’m able to pinpoint the issues I have so easily instead of it just being a vague emotional reaction is a shame.

[flauntpage]

Todd Bowles' Smoldering Seat and Other NFL Coaches in Trouble

Welcome to the NFL Underground Mailbag. Ask Chris Harris your question about the NFL, general sports or cultural minutiae at HeyHarris@HarrisFootball.com. Follow him @HarrisFootball.

Rachel H.: My boyfriend says Todd Bowles is on the hottest seat of any NFL coach this year. I say no way because how can the seat be hot when everybody expects you to go 0-16. Who's right? Which coach has the hottest seat this year?

At the risk of alienating one of the few women who've asked a question for this column—come on! I know you're out there!—I have to agree that Bowles' seat qualifies as "hot." There's a difference between Hue Jackson with the Browns (one terrible season into a rebuild) and Bowles with the Jets (two seasons in, with the rebuild just starting). Jackson doesn't have the stink of a big decline on him, so his front office probably can't use him as a scapegoat without exposing their own necks. Come December, when Jets GM Mike Maccagnan is staring at 1-11, he can (a) tie himself to Bowles and get fired right along with him, or (b) sacrifice Bowles and buy himself an extra season or two.

That said, I agree with Rachel: it feels intellectually dishonest to say Bowles' seat is hottest. It'd be like giving Matt Damon a Razzie for Great Wall. I mean, what else did you expect?

My ascending list of the NFL coaches in the deepest doo-doo for 2017 goes like this:

When your seat is on fire, maybe. Photo by Aaron Doster-USA TODAY Sports

5. Marvin Lewis, Bengals. Last season, after five consecutive playoff appearances, the Bengals went 6-9-1. And remember: Marv has never won a playoff game. That's not why his seat is hot, though. The main reason owner/GM/concessionaire/laundryman Mike Brown never axed Lewis in the past was $$$—the Bengals are the league's most notoriously skinflint organization—but now Lewis is entering the final year of his contract.

4. Bowles. Poor Todd Bowles.

3. Doug Marrone, Jaguars. "Of course Doug Marrone was our first choice!" said nobody ever. The Jags have defensive talent and just drafted Bo Jackson, er, Leonard Fournette, so if they suck, Marrone will get the Chip Kelly treatment. Then cue new organizational czar Tom Coughlin's glorious return to the sidelines, which I will resist cheering because Jacksonville doesn't produce cold enough weather to freeze Coughlin's face.

2. Chuck Pagano, Colts. Former GM Ryan Grigson rightly gets eviscerated for bumbling through Andrew Luck's first five seasons, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't Grigson who called this play.

1. John Fox, Bears. Nice of GM Ryan Pace to fill Fox in on his trade up to get Mitch Trubisky a full two hours before the draft! Not exactly in the loop there, Foxy! Fox is a lifer whose facial expression perpetually reads, "I wish I could get these guys to tackle more and listen to the hippety-hop music less." Like Maccagnan, Pace will need a fall guy after a Year 2 Hindenburg.

Taylor H.: How long until Jeff Fisher gets another job and ruins another franchise?

Speaking of lifers! Did you know that 2017 will be just the second season in 37 years that Fisher won't be affiliated with an NFL franchise? (He took 2011 off after the Titans axed him.) He's the panacea of clubby, quotable mediocrity, avoiding the harsh media glare for years by being friendly with reporters and ensconcing himself deep in the halls of power. He's the NFL equivalent of Mitch McConnell.

The mustache seeks a home. Photo by Greg M. Cooper-USA TODAY Sports

Which means of course he'll be back soon! You don't have to squint to see Marvin Lewis going 6-10 this year, Mike Brown finally pulling the plug, and the Bengals' excited interest in Josh McDaniels and Jim Harbaugh slowly transmogrifying into nauseated acceptance of Jeff Fisher's team-friendly new contract. Just imagine that mustache soaked in Skyline chili.

Tore B.: Soccer players act hurt. Football players pretend they're not hurt. Does winning justify faking?

When it comes to soccer, I bemoan the immolation acts of Euroweenies, yet if I inspect my psyche for a reason, I have to admit it comes down to complicated feelings about masculinity and a fascistic fetish for rules. I dare you to come up with a more quintessentially American combo! Somewhere deep in my Neanderthal brain, "being tough" and "playing fair" gets all crisscrossed with "being a man"—plus, look at those soccer hairdos—and before I know it, Ronaldo is flopping all over the place and I'm sashaying across my living room emitting high-pitched "ooh-la-las!"

Of course, soccer players are just gaming their system. They're lying to win. How is that different than Tom Brady telling falsehoods about his concussions? Or Richard Sherman mysteriously being left off injury reports? Or Matt Moore staggering back out under center after Bud Dupree used his jaw for target practice? Sure, these might appeal to my Neanderthal brain's ideas about what a "real man" is, but they're the same: lying in effort to win. (Well, and also let's be honest: there's tons of faking in the NFL, too!)

At base, if the question is "Does winning justify faking?" then the answer is hell, yeah! Two words: Manu. Ginobili.

When you faked a little but the wins were worth it. Photo by Soobum Im-USA TODAY Sports

Larry W.: You're known not to be a LeGarrette Blount fan. Other than Blount, what truly "bad" running back had the best career?

I should preface my remarks by saying: any running back who ever played a single down in the NFL is a good athlete. Yes, yes, hate-tweeters, I'm aware that Player X is a better athlete than I! And no, I don't live in my parents' basement (anymore)!

I'm not giving you some revisionist take like, "Emmitt Smith was secretly terrible!" That said, let's slag some guys!

My criteria for "badness" comes down to: (1) you actually sucked; (2) I saw you suck during a time when I was paying pretty close attention, i.e., not when I was 7; (3) other people tried to tell me you were good, primarily because of stats, but I still knew you sucked. My criteria for "best career" comes down to: you somehow stayed in the league a long time without them putting your sucky self in the toilet. I've got three candidates. Here we go:

Bronze: T.J. Duckett (7 seasons, 717 rush attempts). He was Blount before Blount was Blount: just a big lumbering doof who had four seasons of eight TDs or more, so fantasy football players were convinced of his awesomeness. But all he could do was mash forward. He had the lateral quickness of yarn.

Silver: Darren McFadden (9 seasons, 1,301 rush attempts). We live in a world where Darren McFadden has made $48 million, also known as $1.45 million per touchdown. He was a No. 4 overall draft pick, he was feted year after year in Oakland as the next big thing, and he's somehow still on an NFL roster despite leveraging Marshall Faulk's skill set into Julius Jones's productivity.

Gold: Marion Barber (7 seasons, 1,156 rush attempts). I had to endure many rebukes when I told people Marion the Barbarian was the walking-around embodiment of "Just Another Guy." He scored 14 TDs in his second season—on just 135 carries!—and the world became convinced that Barber was Eddie George.

He wasn't.

Give the dude credit for 59 career scrimmage touchdowns, which puts him in the top 25 of all RBs since the turn of the century. And then remember the game he handed to the Broncos by mysteriously stopping the clock in regulation then fumbling in overtime.

Alex O.: Do you expect someone to rise up from the pool of RBs in Baltimore, or should Ravens fans just wait and covfefe?

Covfefe. Always covfefe.

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