#(like I find it all a little crass and not in the ‘Taylor should step aside!’ kind of way)

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

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[wannabe-cartoonist-blog]

A kagakuro playlist but every song is a taylor swift song

this is the only thing i had enough brain power to make creatively right now rip. i've always associated a lot of t swift songs with knb (very obvious if you've seen my amvs/edits before) but randomly i decided to finally organize my thoughts a tiny bit while also challenging myself to pick only 1 song from each album. See the read more for a deeper dive.

Taylor Swift (Debut) - I'm Only Me When I'm With You

I'm only up when you're not down Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground It's like no matter what I do Well, you drive me crazy half the time The other half I'm only trying To let you know that what I feel is true And I'm only me when I'm with you

This was an album where it was a bit of a struggle to find a fitting one, but ooh i think i landed on the most suiting one, if i do say so myself.

Fearless - Jump Then Fall

I like the way you sound in the morning We're on the phone and without a warning I realize your laugh is the best sound I have ever heard I like the way I can't keep my focus I watch you talk you didn't notice I hear the words but all I can think is We should be together

Kuroko being so smitten/obsessed with Kagami just makes me feel things, okay? If you want an angsty/pining option, I think Untouchable also suites "Kuroko pining over Kagami" vibes.

Speak Now - Last Kiss

And I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day And something reminds you you wish you had stayed You can plan for a change in the weather and time But I never planned on you changing your mind

Unfortunately, I had to go with an angsty one here, as my heart was simply pulled in that direction too strongly to ignore. I've been on the "Last Kiss is kagakuro airport goodbye coded" train for a while now. It just gives kuroko living his nightmare as kagami "leaves him behind" like all the others in his life have, but he's happy for him. Especially the "I'll watch your life in pictures" line, Kuroko would 1000% keep up with Kagami's professional career like a man obsessed even though being apart breaks his heart all over again. I think Ours or Electric Touch or I Can See You could also fit them, if that heals your heart any. I Can See You would probably be my second, most fitting pick.

Red - Begin Again

And you throw your head back laughin' like a little kid I think it's strange that you think I'm funny 'cause he never did I've been spendin' the last eight months Thinkin' all love ever does is break and burn and end But on a Wеdnesday in a café, I watched it begin again

I do think aomine found kuroko funny but the theme of Kuroko comparing Kagami to his past relationships (especially aomine in particular) is a favorite angsty trope of mine. I like the thought that Kuroko finds Kagami so effortlessly charming in his earnestness, which surprises/flatters Kagami (and others) because he thinks of himself as awkward/crass. He doesn't realize how effortlessly kind he can be, another favorite trope of mine. also just change "in a cafe" to "in a majiburger" and boom. canon.

1989 - You Are In Love

Morning, his place, burnt toast, Sunday You keep his shirt, he keeps his word And for once, you lеt go of your fears and your ghosts One step, not much, but it said enough You kiss on sidewalks, you fight, then you talk One night, he wakes, strange look on his face Pauses, then says, "You're my best friend" And you knew what it was, he is in love

I don't have much to say on this one other than it's one of my favorite t swift songs and oh boy the line about spending time at his place, borrowing his clothes, letting go of your fears and ghosts, and "you're my best friend"? oh lord. this is it. it's my favorite (idealized) depiction of their love story. i really want to write domesticated fluff with them and if i ever do, expect heavy influence from this song lol.

Reputation - King of My Heart

And all at once, you are the one I have been waitin' for King of my heart, body and soul, woah And all at once, you're all I want, I'll never let you go King of my heart, body and soul, woah

Confession time, I don't love this album so it was hard to land on something that I both personally liked and also found fitting for them. But I think this is it. I love New Years Day, but I think this song is more fitting. The whole "fated partners" trope is another favorite of mine and these lines really sell it.

Lover - The Archer

I've been the archer, I've been the prey Who could ever leave me, darling But who could stay? (I see right through me, I see right through me) You could stay

I was going to go with Daylight, but decided I wanted an angsty-er one and it is such a very fitting song for Kuroko ughgh. I love the trope that he has some sort of fear of abandonment issues that he deeply suppresses (Kagami also does) so I felt swayed in this direction to pick it for the list. (Plus if you're following canon continuity and Kagami actually doesn't stay? Ouchie ouch).

folklore - invisible string

Time, mystical time Cutting me open, then healing me fine Were there clues I didn't see? And isn't it just so pretty to think All along there was some Invisible string Tying you to me?

Once again, this is that favorite "fated partners" trope of mine (which is essentially canon, they call them the "fated light and shadow" i mean c'mon now).

evermore - willow

Life was a willow and it bent right to your wind Head on the pillow, I could feel you sneakin' in As if you were a mythical thing Like you were a trophy or a champion ring And there was one prize I'd cheat to win

Kuroko canonically (originally) becoming sort of singularly interested in Kagami to the point where he sort of thrusts their partnership upon him.....my boy said "I want that one" and went and got his man. icon.

Midnights - Mastermind

So I told you none of it was accidental And the first night that you saw me Nothing was gonna stop me I laid the groundwork, and then Saw a wide smirk on your face You knew the entire time You knew that I'm a mastermind And now you're mine Yeah, all you did was smile 'Cause I'm a mastermind

...This is obviously a continuation of the previous thought/headcanon (which is based off canon). This song conjures images of the post-inter high confession that I just made a video for recently; the scene where Kuroko confessed he schemed a bit for him and Kagami to be partners and Kagami knows and respects it (and reciprocates) i love that fact hehehe.

The Tortured Poets Department - Fresh Out The Slammer

Gray and blue and fights and tunnels Handcuffed to the spell I was under For just one hour of sunshine Years of labor, locks, and ceilings In the shade of how he was feeling But it's gonna be alright, I did my time Now, pretty baby, I'm runnin' back home to you Frеsh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to

I decided to further challenge myself by picking a song from both the main version of the album and the Anthology. I think this song encapsulates both Kuroko and Kagami's feelings about their previous relationships (kuroko with aomine/the gom and kagami with himuro).

TTPD: The Anthology - So High School

I feel like laughin' in the middle of practice Do that impression you did of your dad again I'm hearing voices like a madman And in a blink of a crinklin' eye I'm sinkin', our fingers entwined Cheeks pink in the twinklin' lights Tell me 'bout the first time you saw me

Not much to say here other than I made a whole, full length amv for this one. now i have approx 11 new amvs i want to make and also i want to make the aokuro alternative to this one because oh boy, if you thought this playlist was a little angsty, you're not ready for what i'm about to do to you with the aokuro one.

[lucefrs]

did  you  know  either  of  the  victims  :   amelia  taylor  or  cassie  snyder  ?  if  yes  ,   how  well  did  you  know  them ?  

i didn’t know amelia. i knew cass. all the amnesty kids did. we’d smoke together and joke about getting lung cancer together. i’d always bum one off her ‘cos i was always short. she never minded. you know most people are quiet when they smoke, me included. that’s why i usually like smoking alone, i get too tempted to talk if i’m with other people and then it ruins the whole flow of the smoke to burn ratio and people get annoyed with me for interrupting their smoke break with fun facts about john stamos. but i could smoke with her, she was chill. was good at not talking. 

how  have  your  sleeping  and  eating  patterns  been  ?  

well they’ve always been bad, so are you just asking if they’ve been worse ? yeah, i guess. like the food looked super unappetizing all of a sudden which was a bummer cos i was hungry. like during the lockdown. then after all i wanted was junk food, like proper junk food, not junk food made by a five star michelin chef. if the night’s gone right i’m usually ready to plonk right into bed and knock the fuck out, but i guess recently i’ll do the stare at the ceiling thing, thinking about life and death and stuff. that’s like, a normal response though right ? ew, please don’t write seeks validation on your notes, i know and i’m working on it.

do  you  find  yourself  thinking  about  the  event  even  when  you  don’t  want  to  ?  if  yes  ,   what  are  the  most  frequent  images ?  

well yeah, sometimes. in a super selfish way though. like, what if i had been me. what if i had been outside then instead. i keep thinking of cass in this super cinematic way. it’s dark outside, the pavement’s rain slicked and there’s neon lights for some reason. she looks hella hot, and she’s wearing a leather jacket so she’s like robert deniro taxi driver cool. obviously she wasn’t, i dunno what she was wearing probably something super cute and valentinesy. can you find that out for me ? make my intrusive images a little more accurate ?

do  you  avoid  thinking  or  talking  about  the  event ?

not really, ignoring an elephant in the room is like, animal abuse. maybe less so with the gallagher kids, they just don’t get it. and i don’t get them, even though i really want to. some of them are really nice. and dreamy. but i don’t not think of it, i want the grief over asap and the best way to do that is to feel all the shit. 

do  you  avoid  going  places  or  being  in  situations  that  remind  you  of  the  event ?  if  yes  ,   what  are  these  places  ?  

no, i mean, i feel pretty safe here if that’s what you mean. i’m not like triggered by anything ‘cos nothing happened to me. except being kept here against my will, if anything my room reminds me that my door can self-lock if it so chooses to and that scares me more than a wandering murderer. i know, i should get my priorities sorted but that’s like fucked up, don’t you think ? 

do  you  have  nightmares  about   the  event  ?   if  yes  ,   please  describe  these  nightmares  to  the  best  of  your  ability  .  

nope, i had a dream about cass though. very mundane, very wholesome, didn’t know my heart was capable of such tenderness. oof, now that’s a line. i should be like the mamma mia guy in fleabag who writes down all the deep things he says. i don’t really get nightmares, which is wild since i’ve had some fucking awful trips. the last nightmare i had was my mam screaming so loud at me i woke up sweating. thought i was gonna have a heart attack i could literally feel it going off against my chest. called her immediately to tell her about it and she got a real hoot outta it. 

do  you  feel  easily  startled  or  anxious  ?  give  examples  .  

not really, i get a bit nervy sometimes. fidgety and shit, like. just gotta be constantly stimulated, gimme that good good sensory overload you know ? anxiety found dead in miami, i get more manic i guess. boom ! kachow ! aries teas.

do  you  worry  about  being  harmed  or  feel  “on guard” ?  give  examples  .  

nope, should i be ? like i genuinely don’t know how panicked i should be, maybe i’m still in denial. that’s one of the five steps right. five steps ? what is this, alcoholics anonymous ? i meant five stages. like i said, i feel less safe inside these walls, and i probably shouldn’t say this, but i’m like the least valuable member on the amnesty club. i mean jaysus, i joined on a fucking whim, no one wants to harm me, like i barely even know what the fuck is up. 

do  you  feel  detached  or  “numb”  ?  how  so  ?  

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. uhhhhhhhhhhh. maybe so !

do  you  feel  shame  or  guilt  about  the  event  or  about  problems  related  to  the  event ?  what  do  you  think  is  causing  this  same  or  guilt ?  

what do i have to be guilty about ? i’ve never done anything wrong in my life. if you’re talking survivor’s guilt ... well, no. shit, i don’t wish it were me at all. i guess, it like, and this sounds super freaking crass, but it doesn’t feel like it’s any of my business. of course i feel every ounce of grief from her death, but all the shit surrounding it, it’s just, like, these circumstances that don’t even feel like a thing. a bad trip, but it’ll be over soon enough. and we’ll all move on with our lives. get decent jobs. have kids. make lacklustre love to our partners and stick it out until the kids are out of high school to get a divorce. 

do  you  find  that  you  act  irritable  or  angry  ?  in  what  ways  ?  

yeah, but i have a right to be angry. every georgetown kid here does. like we’re getting next to no information about what the hell is going on, and it’s really fucking patronizing if you’re asking me. so yeah, i’m irritated with this place, ugh, and it’s like, you’re not even gonna do anything about it but tell me how i can cope with that. bit fucked, don’tcha think ? 

do  you  act  oppositional  ,  act  out  sexually  ,  or  abuse  alcohol  or  drugs ?

well ya, but i did that before any of this happened, and it’s not like a problem, it’s just my vibe. but i can’t say i’ve got it under control, even though i really do have it under control cos that’s just addict talk. so really, it’s just a catch 22. am i using that right ? i haven’t seen the movie.

[deborahdeshoftim5779]

Questions for HSM III (Part IX)

Caption: “My life is over.”

This is cruelty, folks. I just can’t look at the above picture without shaking my head. This is how Troy looks for the vast majority of this movie, which I now realize is the primary reason I found it so insufferably dull on the first watch. He’d lost his vibe, his spark, his zest for life. And this is the face of a student who is in a beautiful, romantic relationship, so the script says?! For real?!

On The Dumping (Part II) and Chad Danforth

1- So when we left off, Gabriella had ruined Troy’s plans in one fell swoop by deciding that she wouldn’t show up for prom, the musical or graduation. Just to give you some context, please remember that this is nearing the end of the school year. It’s a time of excitement, nostalgia and anticipation. Everyone else will be looking forward to prom... EXCEPT Troy, who is now once again dejected, lonely and withdrawn. As if he hasn’t enough on his plate, what with the musical tanking and almost everyone blaming him, the Wildcats showing no sympathy or interest in either his feelings or his future, his dad being unable to allow him a say in his own education, his indecision about where he might go after graduating-- now he has no date for prom. At the END of the school year, folks. And this is ALL because Gabriella doesn’t have the common decency to keep her promises. Her tears here are thoroughly irrelevant, whether genuine or contrived. The question of why she was smiling beforehand remains unanswered. I like to keep swearing in my posts to a minimum, but at this point, I was so DONE with her behaviour for the millionth time that I couldn’t help myself. So she hangs up, pretends that she’s just made a difficult decision (I maintain that her “explanation” was pulled out of thin air) and then we’re back to Troy’s devastated, disappointed and miserable face. As if this poor kid hasn’t been punished enough. 

In a movie series designed to convince us that Gabriella’s goodness was next to that of Jesus, why was this plot line included? What good does it serve the overall message, the plot, the character arcs, the impressionable viewing audience or Troy himself to see this live massacre?

2- "That’s lousy man. Really is.”

When I was doing my minute-by-minute commentary, I was initially annoyed with Chad’s behaviour in this scene, and then realized much later that he did actually redeem himself. First of all, he shows some GENUINE sympathy-- hallelujah!-- towards Troy. This shows that despite Chad’s many faults, this friendship is REAL and pretty damn resilient. I mean, Troy forgave him for that cruel webcam stunt in HSM I, which was a MASSIVE betrayal of trust. I’ve seen friendships ended for much less. Troy apologized TO Chad in HSM II by accepting the false claim that he had been a jerk whilst never mentioning how Chad had yelled at him in front of everyone else on the flimsiest provocation, and said nothing when Chad laughed at him for getting a scholarship opportunity. By contrast, Chad gets credit for apologizing in HSM I, but from then on, it’s like he’s never heard of the word. He cut Troy down to pea size in HSM II, and then agreed that Troy had been a jerk, mocked him endlessly (”Let’s see if Tiger Woods still has a jump shot!”), made numerous false accusations against Troy, like accusing Troy of not thinking him good enough (”If I was as good as you?” Of course, Troy had praised Chad’s teamwork in front of Mr Evans and his guests not long before), and took no notice of how Troy had given up on a massive opportunity to get back into his good books. Whilst Chad’s behaviour improved in HSM III, he still has been insensitive throughout as I have already explained. The fact that they are still best friends, like brothers, is incredible. Like I said, I am a huge fan of their friendship, but it’s flawed as hell. As always, very little of this is Troy’s fault, apart from the fact that he so often enables Chad’s unjust behaviour. So, Chad is sympathetic here. 

I notice that Troy doesn’t even repeat Gabriella’s “explanation” for not coming back. Why is this? Is it because he knows it’s as stupid as it sounds? (I wish!) I mean, how would he say it? “Gabriella’s not coming back because she misses everyone.” 

More importantly, why doesn’t Chad ask for an explanation as to why Gabriella isn’t coming back? He has just presumably accompanied Troy to the clothes store so they can buy the suits for prom. His best buddy was obviously excited, on the way. His best buddy was excited to show off the suit to his mother (cute scene, by the way). His best buddy was excited to speak to Gabriella, and then HE, Chad, saw the smile gradually slip from Troy’s face and melt into sadness and disappointment. And we’re supposed to believe that he isn’t curious as to the reason?

3- “Everybody knows that you don’t bring the girl with you after high school!”

Really starting to wonder how Chad managed to find a girlfriend. If not for the chemistry and sweetness of Chaylor, he’d be a bachelor for life. And how on earth is this classically insensitive comment going to make Troy feel better-- Oh wait. It was intended to pour salt in Troy’s wounds. What have I said about Chad being on another wavelength? I think he’s in another universe. Folks, this is the first time that Chad has attempted to reach out to Troy, which is saying a lot, since we are over halfway through the movie. But believe it or not, I actually do believe that was intending, in his own brash manner, to raise Troy’s spirits. Tell him to man up and get over it. Yes, he’s using crass and unhelpful language, but in the long run, isn’t this better than allowing Troy to wallow in misery ad infinitum? You have to be cruel to be kind. And to be fair to Chad, he is right about the nature of high school romances. They ARE transient and fleeting, aren’t they? Isn’t he just telling an uncomfortable truth, to spare his friend the pain? Don’t like the means, but they do justify the end. 

On the OTHER hand...

4- “Look, Gabriella is already one step ahead. As usual.”

And herein lies the hypocrisy. This basically nullifies any somewhat helpful advice he gave Troy not two seconds ago. In HSM I, Chad considered Gabriella to be “an elevated IQ temptress girl” who was detracting the Hoops Dude from his true calling as basketball superstar and perpetual Wildcat. Then he decided to be supportive of Troy and Gabriella’s relationship. Ever since then, he has thoroughly bought into the legend of Troyella; he not only approves of Gabriella, but has never criticized anything she’s done regardless of the devastating effect it had on Troy. When Gabriella dumped Troy in the middle of the summer (sorry, not over that one), Chad was indifferent, as he was already giving Troy the silent treatment. (”Chad won’t talk to me”). His best friend had just been dumped, and he didn’t at least try to bury the hatchet and reach out. Gabriella could not be wrong. He’s said nothing when Gabriella left Troy for California, instead choosing to excoriate Troy behind his back for messing up repeatedly in rehearsals for a musical that HE, Chad, was initially unwilling to join! Gabriella could not be wrong. Later, when Gabriella makes her appearance at the musical, she gets cheers from Chad in the sidewings and a hug. Even now, he never asked for an explanation as to why Gabriella wasn’t coming back; instead, he treats it like one of life’s misfortunes. “That’s lousy man...” instead of “Why isn’t she coming back?”

Of course, I don’t need to expand upon the nonsense of extolling Gabriella’s cruel behaviour as being “one step ahead”. 

What on earth did Chad think he was accomplishing here? Is he Troy’s best friend, or Gabriella’s best friend? 

5- “’Kay, Taylor’s heading to Yale.”

Of course, Chad would never have had to beg Taylor to embrace her future and lucrative opportunities. Taylor is mature and forward-thinking and doesn’t believe that a relationship should get in the way of personal achievements, which is why she urges Gabriella to attend Stanford. (The latter simply whines because me, me, me). This is another example of the healthy relationship between Taylor and Chad. Like I said, they don’t mess each other around. They have a silent understanding between each other, and they stick to it. They understand that they can’t live in a fantasy world of perfect relationships, unlike a certain Troy Bolton, and so they accept the future as it comes. Notice that Taylor did not bail on Chad with regards to prom; the scene where she said “I’d be honoured!” was far sweeter and more meaningful than Gabriella’s “in every language”, which as we know, turned out to be a lie. Despite the contrived set-up of Chaylor, they DO care about each other and they do value each other’s presence. During HSM II, when either or both of them were upset, they silently turned to each other for comfort (after Mr. Fulton dared to make them work for pay, after Chad came into the kitchen angry because Troy wanted Swiss, after they got banned from the Talent Show). When either Troy or Gabriella was upset, there was no communication, period-- silent or otherwise. Troy was left to flounder on his own, Gabriella quit in a righteous huff. There’s no way that Taylor would bail on Chad for no good reason, and there’s no way that Chad would do the same vice-versa. 

However, the above dialogue implies that Chad and Taylor would break up, which leaves me stuttering and speechless. Of all the canonical characters, they would be the MOST likely to last longest, due to their maturity, respect, genuine affection for each other and natural closeness. HOW could the screenwriters not see this? Distance relationships can work if there is enough will. Says who that Chad and Taylor would not have had the will? What crime would Taylor have to commit in order to justify this horrible plot-line? Despite Taylor’s faults, she is NOT like Gabriella when it comes to her relationship, which she actually takes seriously, despite her competitiveness towards Chad. I’m furious and quite frankly disgusted that the healthy relationship gets shunted aside, whilst the unhealthy one is sold as healthy. Why?

6- Troy tries-- again-- to tell Chad that he doesn’t see his life as a ball game. Chad, of course, ignores this. However, Chad does redeem himself somewhat with the following line: “You’re gonna go to the prom with us. You’re gonna be with all your friends, you’re gonna have a great time.”

So you can see my indecision with regards to Chad in this scene. Is he being encouraging in a difficult way, or is he being a hypocrite in a pretty damn easy way? I can’t figure him out. But this is some solid, excellent advice to Troy that compliments his earlier comments about not bringing the girl after high school, crass as that comment was. Once again, he’s offering Troy a way out of lying in bed, staring into the nothingness and looking like a lost cause. As I have mentioned in another post, Troy was one of, if not the most popular kid in school, and despite the insolent ingratitude of the Wildcats, he did have some genuine friends. The viewer will recall the scene where Troy is walking through the corridors at East High hi-fiving/joking around with his buds-- we don’t know any of these characters, but they appear to be well-known to him. In HSM I, we see a brief hint of his other friendships: he shakes hands with members of the Drama Club (who were probably seen as losers by other students, if Chad’s disdain towards other social groups is to be believed), the Science Club members let him sit up on the roof and the Gardening Club members could be relied upon to provide flowers for Chad. 

Why didn’t we get to see some of Troy’s non Wildcat friends, whom I honestly believe would be better friends to him than his team-mates? Why couldn’t he be seen hanging out with other people, and not just the same folks who saddled him with unreasonable expectations and then heaped opprobrium on his head for being a flawed human being? I think Troy’s friendships with these various other clubs is very significant. Remember in HSM I, Troy doesn’t seem even remotely interested when Chad is expounding upon the rules of Social Interaction at East High, just because Troy dared to take an interest in things other than basketball. Up until it was convenient for the plot, Troy’s basketball buddies didn’t even know he had a secret hideout, thanks to the Science Club. I think these nerd clubs would have been viewed with disdain by the alleged cool kids, so Troy, Wildcat superstar, East High’s Primo Boy and All-Round Nice Guy refusing to see any such distinction is massively significant and I think those kids would really appreciate him for that. Would it have been nice to see some of Troy’s other interests and time spent with these people? I mean, it appears that Troy has an interest in science and botany (or is that my headcanon speaking?), which explains his his some of his nerdiness/dorkiness and the model airplanes in his treehouse. Why couldn’t we see THIS side of Troy?

But back to the point about his canonical friends, Kelsi and Ryan, the only two people who have supported him wholeheartedly throughout, did not deserve to be left behind just because of Gabriella. Why did the script never show us THEIR feelings about this? Because I honestly believe that even Kelsi would have been at the very least disappointed with Gabriella. (Or I hope so, anyway). 

More importantly, WHY oh WHY didn’t Troy take Chad’s advice?

Chad leaves, thinking he has gotten some sense into Troy. He gives Troy an affectionate slap on the head. Troy’s head droops because he’s lost all life and lustre at this point. We think that Troy will, however, attend his prom. 

And how wrong we are.

TO BE CONTINUED.

[siwwhq-blog]

SAMPLE APPLICATION

Below is a sample application submitted by Admin Alexis for Slacker.

OOC:

Name, Pronouns, and Timezone: Alexis, she/her, EST

Age: 26 years

Activity level. Please explain: 7/10 due to work. I will try to be on at least once a day to try and get responses in. I'll at least check in to read over things :D 

Triggers: n/A

How did you find us? If you remember tell us the tag or page: n/A

Anything else: n/A

Character Basics:

   What skeleton are you applying for?: Slacker

   Character full name: Jackson Cole Taylor

   Character age: 23

   Faceclaim: Calum Hood

   Second Choice Faceclaim: Patty Walters

   Gender & Pronouns: cis male & he/him

   What year is your character in, and what degree are they pursuing? Jackson has been at SIWW for three years and he’s pursuing his Bachelor’s/four year degree.

   Any changes to the skeletons: n/A

Expansion:

Biography:

There's only the odd sensory memories before the age of six: the feel of dead, yellowed grass under his feet, the smell of whiskey burning his nostrils, the "kraa-kraa" calls of crows.

Jack's earliest tangible memory is of the stars. Nights spent craning his neck and staring intensely at the black velvet sky peaking out behind the billowy clouds otherwise blanketing the earth. Hoping for a glimpse of a shooting star and calling his older sister a liar whenever she claimed one for herself. Now all that remains of his early childhood is her coyly smug face and the intricate patterns cigarette smoke weaved in the air as they sat atop their trailer on the back of his eyelids as he sleeps.

A lot of families lived in that trailer park when they first moved in - Jackson  got on well with the dirty-faced kids, some young, some older, kicking pinecones around and fighting over the cheap, plastic kiddie pools in the heat of the Colorado summer.

He went to school, and it was probably the most decent one in the district. It was the same building all the wealthy families sent their children, Jackson just so happened to have his address still listed at his godfather's house so he could stay there. But, when Jack wasn't in school he was running through the streets, wasting hours at the skate park, or stealing cheap beer out of the trailers around him. The neighbors never locked their doors so it only served them right.

The air, when it wasn't heavy with liquor or cigarettes, always smelled of crisp wilderness air and pine trees. That was Jack's favorite part about where he lived. His least favorite part was, of course, the lack of ambition most of the other residents demonstrated. Plenty of them enjoyed just sitting outside in their lawn chairs smoking cigarettes and gossiping with one another. Although Jack got on well with a lot of the kids, he couldn't help but feel like he was in the wrong place. He did little to remedy that, what with lack of direction and knowledge on how to pursue something better.

His grades barely suffered until he hit his sophomore year. His sister was an assistant manager at a grocery store trying to make ends meet. She worked her tail off throughout her schooling career just to be forced out with little to nothing to show for it, and Jackson couldn't help but feel defeated before he even entered the rat race to a successful future. So he stopped trying, stopping showing up.

There was something about the two different extremes of people he was around that had him feeling out of place. He fell somewhere in the middle, considering stepping out of his comfort zone but lacking the means and knowledge to do so. The endless feeling of floating did little to comfort him, and it had him seeking his own source of it- that of which included skipping class, attending parties, and basically doing all he could to not fit either the mold of the snobby elitist or ambitionless troublemakers. He almost always fell into the latter despite his attempts to do otherwise.

After Jackson failed his second attempt at sophomore year, his sister had grown tired of his behavior. She sat him down and gave him a stern talking to. Although initially met with his stubbornness, Jack took to heart what she had to say, and he redirected the path he ran astray from with the promise of at least graduating. It was all he could be sure of, anyway, as he studied and made his way through comp classes and rose his GPA from it's nearly unsalvagable score.

It was shortly after his birthday in his third try at sophomore year Jack had a brief experience with magic. After dark, running through the back streets, and it was only convenient he and his friends had just left a party. Like most things in life, it started off great. They were flying, adrenaline and smug, playful pride the source of their fuel, leaving a group of jocks they'd pissed off in the dust. But it was on the busier main street that he bailed– he slipped on the asphalt to tumble onto his side with a bit of a surprised yelp and an ‘oof’ as he hit the ground, the wind knocked out of him. He was met with headlights and a blaring horn, and just as he, with bleary eyes, looked up in a panic he was suddenly on the sidewalk on the other side of the street.

The friends with him were too fogged in their minds to realize that their friend was a wizard, and that it was a blip of teleportation that managed to work in that moment. They thought they just missed him making his way to a different part of the street. Jack never told anyone- not them, not his sister, not a single soul. Not until he was contacted and given a tutor, courtesy of SIWW, to help him manage his abilities. It was one incident with no tell tale of when it'd happen again.

A year and a half later, Jackson walked for graduation with no plan for his future. That didn't matter to him, though, as he shook the principal's hand, took his diploma and waved to his sister in the crowd. He'd never seen her so proud of him. After Jack learned very quickly that without a plan in action he had no real direction to go. He applied at numerous places and ignored any college spam letters he received in the mail. 

Despite the earnest efforts of his guidance counselor, Jack never picked up an application before signing for his cap and gown. He had no intention to, but he found his disappointment in his struggle to get a footing in adult life. Already two years behind due to his own irresponsible decisions he barely paid any mind to anyone who tried to reach out to him. Until his sister grabbed an envelope and slid it across the table to him at breakfast.

Ah, right, magic.

He had that tutor, and he never forgot about what he possessed. With no knowledge beyond the management he was taught behind him it was like going in blind, but his sister smiled and encouraged him to take the invitation. He had an opportunity tailored just for him at his hands, and Jackson hesitantly accepted. For his entired life he knew nothing beyond his trailer park and the pine trees of Colorado or the too-white smiles of the upscale families beyond it. He never left his town, and it was nerve-wracking and exhilirating all at the same time to even consider it.

Jackson worked for the rest of the summer to save up money for supplies, and with some financial aid from both the school and his sister, he stepped foot into SIWW the following fall semester. He didn't have a real plan in action, but finally he felt like he could make something of himself.

Personality:

Stone-faced and oftentimes too silent, most people who aren’t in Jack’s immediate life would say it’s hard to get a word out of the boy. But, if you are to get him talking about something he likes, he will light up and speak passionately. He doesn’t go out of his way to seek friendship, but he isn’t closed off to the idea of it. Should he speak he can come off as borderline arrogant and rather crass lacking the politeness and manners expected by unprovoked strangers in the general public. He isn’t one looking for a fight as he often will think of himself above picking one with measly little ol’ you, but don’t put him passed lashing out if it is required for his own defense. His words are more a weapon than his fists, so don’t physically threaten him and you’re in the clear.

Jack's never been a cowardly man. He's always tried to take everything life has thrown at him like a champ, and he doesn't back down easily. Whether it was standing up against bullies or authority figures (he hardly sees the difference between the two words) or hurtling himself from rooftops and scaling the sides of ruined buildings, he's always had no fear keeping him from doing it. He handles most things in life passionately, be it a hobby or a person, he takes to it like a love affair.

Although he often carries a subtle smile on his face due to his consistence of contentment, he isn't one to fake a smile of any sort so no one has to worry about him wearing any masks. He does not try to lie, and the expressed downtrodden feelings aren't made noticeable for sympathy, he just doesn't feel the need to be secretive any time he feels gloomy about anything. This, however, can make him difficult to deal with especially if someone else's emotional needs are in more dire need than his own. He has a terrible habit of being unreceptive to those when he is on an emotional low.

Despite brawls in middle school and through out high school, and even a few altercations on the streets, Jack pays no mind to any of the consequences of his words or actions. He follows the typical mantra of “It is what it is” when regarding poor situations and unfavorable outcomes, be it his own or others’. He was a bit more mischievious as a youngster when the law couldn’t touch him. With age came the common sense of avoiding dangerous behaviors, but don’t put recklessness below him. He still can be impulsive in his actions and it’s mostly to stir up the monotony of his own routine life.

Jack has found that cracking snide remarks and maintaining a somewhat dark-humored persona has helped him through any remotely tough times. Although it can grate on others' patience, Jack tries not to let his age dictate his ability to let loose at times and shirk his responsibilities. He's a college kid with a high school senior's mentality. He is trusting to a fault, but if crossed he can bear a grudge and carry it to the grave, and he will let you know you are not on his good side. Jack is also prone to throwing himself pity parties in times of personal distress and negative thoughts, drinking himself into a stupor with whatever liquor stash he can get his hands on.

Headcanons:

1. Jackson is guilty for sometimes living beyond his means. He spends more than he should at the risk of having  nothing to spend the next week. He was lucky to receive a student credit card with a very small limit, but whenever it's paid off he is quick to add to his debt again. Part of it is not wanting to hold off on the luxurious things in life (expensive coffees or name brand clothes), but most of his careless spending probably derives from when he had to pretend he wasn't lower class throughout his middle and high school career. 2. Through his elementary and middle school years, Jack practiced soccer. He became pretty decent at it. Not necessarily MVP or team captain level, but he was first string. It was when his attendance in high school started dropping he was at risk for losing his spot on the team. But it wasn't that he was booted, it was that the expenses were too much so he ultimately had to drop on his own. 3. He had an altercation, per se, with some rowdy individuals over money and maybe a bit of paraphernalia, that ended up in a scuffle that left him with a bloodied nose and a posterior knee dislocation. For the most part he’s recovered, but if struck there or if accidentally twisted it locks up or pops out of place. It hurts and he has to go and get medical attention to pop it back if it dislocates again, but otherwise, if the rough contact doesn’t knock it out of place it gets stiff and he limps for a bit. 4. Jack isn’t much into drugs so much as he is into drinking. Thankfully it’s not an everyday thing, but there’s likely a bottle of booze and a few cans of beer tucked under his bed. Jim Beam may be his favorite, but when his finances don’t allow it any bottom shelf liquor will do. He also had a poor habit of walking into the unlocked trailer's around the park and stealing cheap beer out of their mini fridges. 5. For unexplainable reasons Jack fears thunder and lightning. He doesn’t have any memory for when this fear started, it’s just always been there. If there’s so much as a hint of thunder in the distance he pops his headphones in and plays music at high volumes and finds sanctuary in his closet or under his blankets where he will wait the storm out. This isn’t something he really tells anyone.

Anything Else: Noooo, I'll be in the talk tag. Look out for various forms of Slacker inspiration.