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sixteenthshen · 4 years ago

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post-finale stuff

Possible spoilers. Beware

Last night, I happened to check the scriptwriter's Weibo and saw that she had liked this fan's post. It's the only non-work related Weibo post that she had liked, so of course, I went to read it.

The fact that this is the only fan post she's given her approval to must mean that it is on point and she agrees with the characterisation. I thought it's pretty good, so I've gone ahead to translate it here. I own 0 rights to this. I just thought it's a good perspective that may help others like me who struggled with the ending.

I think I've mostly made my peace with it now, and to sum it up:

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all that they are.

A-Xu never once blamed Lao Wen for how things turned out because he understood that. And he’s clearly a better person than I am (lol).

Let me be clear about my stand - the real victim of how the drama unfolded in the last six episodes is WKX. When we feel our hearts ache for ZZS, it's because the show let down WKX (the character). If your heart is only hurting for WKX during episodes 33-34, you should try to ship WKX with someone else, ok? If you think the last six episodes were great and that WKX was very romantic (and only romantic), then I honestly don't know what to say.

I ship wenzhou. That means I like both Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu. I want them to love each other, be good to each other and live happily ever after. And I want them not to be OOC.

The rest behind the cut. Spoilers for the whole drama.

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First, the source. Here is a link to that Weibo post, by 爱吐槽的栗小姐. I will delete this if requested by the OP - because this is really in a grey area imo. But I think the intention of a public post is for it to be shared? (especially something like this, which argues a point)

Secondly, the poster does try to be fair in her post, but as the problem here is WKX's ruined characterisation, ZZS's character is analysed primarily concerning this issue only. There's quite a bit left to ZZS's character and backstory that isn't relevant. I believe that's why the post doesn't elaborate on it, or so I hope.

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Ever since WKX faked his death, I received three to four waves of fellow sister fans' mournful wails: "Lao Wen actually faked his death; does he have a heart?" "They were supposed to be of the same heart and treat each other with honesty. How did they regress?" "What happened to their innate soulmate-ness?" "Why does A-Xu always say to face things together, yet Lao Wen always keeps his plans from him?" "A-Xu loves Lao Wen, yet Lao Wen only loves himself"…….

Wait. What have you guys misunderstood about the meaning of soulmates?

Soulmates are about values, but a person's behaviour… that's methodology FFS!

(Do they no longer teach this in political affairs class in high school anymore?)

Wenzhou, these soulmates, are incomparably compatible and mesh well in terms of values. According to the scriptwriter, the entire jianghu wants and tries to get the pieces of Glazed Armour, save the two of them. Not only do they not care for the peerless martial arts, immense power, nor the massive wealth that the Glazed Armour represents, they don't even care for the power they hold in their hands –Ghost Valley and the Window of Heaven. Both of them willing to give it up without a second thought.

Before they met each other, they were so tired of (ZZS) and so angry at (WKX) this earthly world that they didn't even want to live on anymore.

After they met each other, they gradually began to feel the warmth in this world again. How nice it would be if they could live in seclusion, hand in hand and just bask in the sun.

In this world, where everyone else is fighting for power or wealth, they are true soulmates. To intelligent people like them, whether or not they're honest about their identities or secrets is merely a matter of formality. They had already determined their attraction to the other's soul early on and have never doubted it.

There may be some here who would criticise loudly at this point, "Then can't you be more considerate for your soulmate (the actual phrased used is "spiritual companion")? A-Xu has said many times, let's face everything together, I'll bet that you will be honest with me. If you really love him, then why can't you care for his feelings?"

----- You guys, you've never been married.

If two souls meeting can naturally resolve all behavioural conflicts and disagreements, then the theory of "breaking in" * would not exist.

Let us take a look at what kind of a person WKX and ZZS each are.

Wen Kexing, he's a lone wolf.

After his parents' death and his entering the Ghost Valley, his smooth sailing life suddenly fell off a cliff. Ever since then, the only person he could rely on was himself. That deep-seated hatred is carved into his bones, yet he can't speak of it to anyone else. He isn't the same type of person as the rest of the ghosts in the Ghost Valley; he isn't the same type of person as A-Xiang, who he raised. If we talk about the world and everyone who lives in it, he doesn't have any fetters or feels any (positive) emotions.

His supposed craziness is a form of indifference. He's indifferent to others' lives, nor his own, because he just doesn't care. (T/N: I think he does care for his own life, but only for revenge, after that, he's indifferent. Indifferent isn't suicidal. I don't know why some fans seem to be confusing the two. Although he didn't plan to, if he somehow manages to stay alive after getting his revenge, WKX will continue to live on, even if it's only to keep A-Xiang happy because he is indifferent.)

Growing up like this, being solitary became his style. He's used to doing everything alone, used to making his own decisions, used to digesting all his emotions himself.

Every time he argues with A-Xu, he digests his emotions himself. The next day, he faces A-Xu with a smile again.

This is how he loves, to take it upon himself to face danger, difficulty and pain alone. It's how he had supported A-Xiang all these years in the Ghost Valley and what he's used to.

While Zhou Zishu, he's a lead horse (of a herd). **

Since a very young age, he's taught to take responsibility. He's used to bearing everything on his shoulders, be it the responsibility of his family or the responsibility for the Four Seasons Manor, even the responsibility for saving commoners from disasters.

Unlike the lone wolf, the lead horse is ultimately a social animal.

Regardless of his identity as the Manor Lord of the Four Seasons Manor or the Leader of the Window of Heaven, he's always the one to lead the herd and rarely fights alone. So, A-Xu not only has leadership ability but more than that, he also knows how to be tolerant and accepting of the differences of his team members. You can see the various ways he managed to influence Lao Wen along the road; he's firm when he needs to be and soft the other times. It's absolutely textbook in managing your lover workplace management.

Zhou Zishu believes in communication whenever there's a problem, that they should be open and honest. So, teamwork is what he's used to.

Does it mean that when a horse and lone wolf fall in love, that there won't be a breaking in period?

Obviously not.

I guess this is where some may say again, "isn't this part of a character's arc/development? The two of them quarrel time and time again. Did WKX not grow at all from it?"

Of course, after meeting each other, they both grew and saved each other.

When he first left Window of Heaven, A-Xu was lonely with regret. Unlike the lone wolf who's used to doing everything alone, a lead horse without the last of his herd has no way to bear the bone-deep loneliness and merciless self-recrimination.

ZZS wandered around this world aimlessly until Lao Wen started pestering him, until he picked up Zhang Chengling, right up until he felt he hadn't singlehandedly destroyed the Four Seasons Manor. This lead horse finally regained a goal in life. He gained a partner and a lover. Lao Wen sticks to him, Chengling relies on him, and the abandoned Four Seasons Manor became like-new in his hands. He finally reconciles with himself.

When he first came out of the valley, Lao Wen carried a rage strong enough to burn the world down. But when he met A-Xu, he also met the beauty of the world.

When the Four Sages of Anji died, WKX understood how he caused innocent suffering. When Gao Chong walked to his death knowingly, he understood that although some may desire power, they could still be righteous and upstanding people. When he learned of everything Long Que sacrificed to protect his family***, he finally relaxed his guard.

There were so many types of good people and things that he saw along this journey that he hadn't seen in the Ghost Valley. When A-Xu told him he was a good person as they basked in the sun, he genuinely wanted to return to the human (vs ghost) realm and be a good man.

Along their journey, A-Xu made up for the morals and values that WKX lost in the Ghost Valley and showed him a new world outlook. He appeased Lao Wen's anger, tempered his extremism. The process wasn't easy, but not that difficult either, because, in the end, Lao Wen is kind at heart.

But in the end, being a lone wolf is how he survived and succeeded in a place like the Ghost Valley. When A-Xu was so heavily injured and needed a lot of rest (for Wu Xi) to save his life, Lao Wen suddenly recalled his enemies and how such an excellent opportunity to take revenge just fell into his lap. Everything was in place, and all he needed to do was hide it from A-Xu; he could leave for a short while and have it settled quickly. Upon returning, he could then live happily ever after with his wife. To a crazy lone wolf, why would he not take a gamble?

What he couldn't predict was the news would've been leaked (to A-Xu), and he didn't know that by doing so, he would've forever lost his love.

Both of them were using their own methods to love the other person. Zhou Zishu is more forgiving and accepting because being forgiving is in his blood. While what WKX learned in his years in the Ghost Valley is -- love needs to be protected, like how he has A-Xiang, who he considers a sister, call himself master (to protect her).

Only when faced with painful consequences can a person's deep-rooted habits and approach to things change. So I don't think faking his death ruined the characterisation of Wen Kexing, but I regret that the last two episodes did not have a scene to show us Lao Wen's heartbreak when he learns the truth.

Until I know what it feels like to have lost you, I will only love you in my own way.

T/N:

*I can't think of the correct phrase for this as I don't read all that much about relationships >< please let me know if you know of it. Here, I'm referring to the process of wearing something new (like shoes) that will hurt at the start until it becomes soft and comfortable.

** I did some side-reading, and omg, A-Xu is TOTALLY the lead mare. Although he's not the stallion and weak/dying for most of the show, he's the head of their little family, and he expects "to be obeyed", aka, I'm not going to learn how to cook. Call me for dinner. Kthxbye.

From Rutgers' website: A herd of wild horses consists of one or two stallions, a group of mares, and their foals. The leader of the herd is usually an older mare (the "alpha mare"), even though one stallion owns the herd. She maintains her dominant role even though she may be physically weaker than the others. The older mare has had more experiences, more close encounters, and survived more threats than any other horse in the herd. The requirement of the lead horse is not strength or size; if this were so, then humans could never dominate a horse. Dominance is established not only through aggression but also through attitudes that let the other horses know she expects to be obeyed.

***I think this is important here because WKX wasn't crying for his loss. I think a big part of him was realising not everyone in the world was callous and turned their backs on his parents, that he could've gone his whole life without ever discovering what sacrifices some people have made. Good people suffer quietly and in silence. It's a big moment to realise he was wrong about many things that he had let hatred blind himself to the world. Because although he was sad about the Four Sages and somewhat shocked by Gao Chong's death, he hadn't truly faced up to his actions until now.

(screenshot of the scriptwriter liking the above post)

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To add:

I'm not sure how many of you read my "opinion" posts, but I've been struggling to find a way to accept the last six episodes of Word of Honor. I first tried looking at open forum postings, comments, and Tumblr posts. None of it worked because it was just arguing and emotions and no one made points good enough for me to accept things.

So I gave up and went back to reading Chinese sites. I found many posts discussing the plot. Some I liked, some I didn't, but none satisfied my need for a reasonable explanation. I felt they had biases (both ways), or else it lacked logic. After a time, I realised that I should be looking for WKX-stans (or pro-WKX fans) because they would be more motivated to explain his side, but also because well-written posts by wenzhou-fans & ZZS-stans made me super sad.

I'm sorry, but those who keep trying to explain why the ending was good completely missed that episodes 32-34 are the real problem to those who don't like it and only focused on 36. I can understand if people don't think those episodes are a problem, but no one could provide an articulate and sensible reason. There are just too few well-reasoned plot-focused posts in English (sorry). I've seen too many examples of WKX-fans arguing with people who are upset about the ending, backed by nothing more than "look how much WKX suffers, woe is him. And how romantic is this????" *dies*

Lastly, if you spot anything inaccurate, let me know & I will correct it.

#word of honor #word of honor meta #wenzhou #opinion #i think this counts as meta #if you think the drama did WKX justice #and that he can do no wrong #in the last 6 episodes #....#......#srsly #you can't claim to ship wenzhou #& think the last 6 eps are perfect

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script-nef · 4 years ago

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I come for the interaction and the food | Miya Osamu

Category: crack, fluff

2k words; pseudo-reddit thread of Onigiri Miya

The owner of Onigiri Miya

Yo dudes. So my friend was raving about the onigiri shop for ages, and she was so damn relentless that I gave in. And I like onigiri in the first place, especially negitoro, so I went (is this TMI?). Anyway I was like???? So damn shook when I went in because the owner is like???? Damn??? He's so hot and I am simping for him, and the female population in the shop was as well like hearts were flying out of their eyes. I'm going to go there every day and ugh I know it’s cheesy and cliché but I hope he notices me or something like that DON’T JUDGE I’M LONELY OKAY??

Comments [Anon]: I KNOW RIGHT LIKE EVERYONE IS IN LOVE WITH HIM AND HIS ONIGIRI UGH FOOD FOR THE EYES AS WELL AS THE STOMACH

[Anon]: Y’all are simping for a real person and I just have to say: LMAO ME TOO UGH HE’S JUST REALLY HOT AND PATIENT AND HIS VOICE IS SO NICE

[Anon]: YASSS HE REALLY IS AND HE ALWAYS COMES UP WITH NEW MENUS AND LETS SOME OF US TRY SAMPLES BUT IT’S ALWAYS. AMAZING. HE’S AN ONIGIRI GOD, I TELL YOU.

→ Continue thread

[Anon]: Um, OP? I don't know how to tell you this but… He has a girlfriend… like a really cute girlfriend who he’s been dating for years now.

[Anon]: Say what?

[Anon]: Hey what. What. I didn’t know this. I’ve been visiting his shop for like 3 months and I didn’t know this. What.

[OP]: Oh. Great. My romance has died even before it started. ;^;

[Anon]: Well you can join us obsessing over their relationship! She visits a lot and they’re cute all the damn time so frequent customers made a small online group to share episodes.

→ Continue thread

I just saw Hime and wow, damn

So I went to OM today—because wow it’s so delicious please open a second shop MyaSamu—and my eyes were blessed because WHO DID I SEE?? YEP, IT WAS HIME.

Like y’all know how he calls her Hime as a nickname, which is so [censored] cute, and SHE LIVES UP TO THE NAME. There’s like, a graceful aura around her and it’s sort of blinding? As soon as you see her, it’s like “Ah, yep. That’s her. No one else can be called Hime other than her.”

AND SHE GOT SO FLUSTERED WHEN I CALLED HER HIME BY ACCIDENT!! It just literally slipped out because I’m a [censored] idiot like that and she turned so red! And started hitting MyaSamu out of embarrassment! But her hits didn’t even look that painful and he was smiling so happily. My eyes were blessed that day.

Comments [Anon]: Oh my god you’re so lucky, I want to see him smile… I mean, he does, but apparently he smiles differently when he’s with Hime and I know that if I see that, my day will instantly become better.

[Anon]: Oh dude, you are not wrong. He somehow becomes more radiant. Just. How?

[Anon]: Imagine being that cute and beautiful together. What a power couple.

[Anon]: You know what happened once? I was really down while I was eating there because I got a bad grade, and she came over to talk to me!! Because apparently I looked way too sad and she was worried about me! UGH I’M FALLING FOR YOU HOW ARE YOU THIS KIND?! ARE YOU AN ACTUAL ANGEL?

[Anon]: This just confirmed, Hime was never human. She is the epitome of angelic grace here to save us and MyaSamu is so blessed for being with her.

Y’all are weird as [censored], why do you do this [censored]

Why are you guys obsessing over real people like that? I would be creeped out if I knew anyone does this, you guys are invading their privacy. Get a life and stop being so damn disturbing.

Comments [Anon]: ??? He knows about this. He literally checks up on this site a couple of times per week. He explicitly said to many customers “Thanks for liking me and my girlfriend so much. You guys are funny.” The [censored] are you on?

[Anon]: I asked Hime once before and she said it’s fine as well unless we’re stalking them or some [censored] like that. And we don’t. We’re just exchanging stories on our interactions with them inside the shop and how cute they are. He said it actually helps with his revenues and sales.

[Anon]: Literally. They’re just really cute. Like you look at them and boom, you have diabetes, no exceptions.

[Anon]: I think he said like half of his new customers came after seeing this thread, so back off

Ignore that person, GUESS WHO I SAW

Y’all might be thinking Hime, and yes, I did see her as well. BUT I ALSO SAW ATSUMU! He was hanging with Hime and teasing her so much. Then MyaSamu got annoyed and they nearly brawled there lmao perfect representation of siblings.

Hime tried to stop them and when they kept on fighting, she slapped them both on the back and shouted for them to cool it. MyaSamu I guessed since they’re going out, but she tamed Atsumu. Atsumu. My heart thumped because she was so awesome. Like, you’re cool, kind, sweet, amazingly pretty and on top of that, badass as well? Lady, you should be designated as a national treasure.

Comments [Anon]: Bruh. I live super close to OM. I go there practically every week. I’ve filled out the coupon like, 5 times. I’ve never met Hime once. AND YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT YOU SAW HIME AS WELL AS ATSUMU???? WHY HAVE THE GODS FORSAKEN ME??

[Anon]: How cool was she? I can’t imagine Atsumu folding to anyone that’s not his parents.

[Anon]: I feel like he would be rude to his own parents tho lol

[Anon]: True true

[OP]: She was like, the epitome of cool. Based on the sound of the slap I would have been rolling on the floor while crying in pain but they kind of seem used to it or something? She just glowered at them and they immediately shut up. I wonder if she was like that when they started dating as well.

[Anon]: I find it funny that everyone is focusing on Hime while Miya Atsumu, division 1 volleyball player and one of the members of Japan’s national team, is right there.

[Anon]: Atsumu pales in comparison to Hime. This is a fact.

[Samu]: True

[Anon]: ??? The [censored]? Are my eyes working? Is that… actually Osamu? As in like, the Osamu that we’re talking about? Like the owner of OM?

[Samu]: Yes

[Anon]: Okay then bye I’m never coming here ever again. Goodbye y’all and watch me die haha [censored]

Friend of Samu and “Hime”

I can’t really believe this actually exists but it’s really funny and kinda cringey to see everyone fawn over Osamu and “Hime” like this. I've been their friend since high school and let me give you a fact: “Hime”’s nickname during her time in school was Janus like the two faced God. Because she’s really nice all the time but once she gets angry, it’s over for everyone. Everyone.

So what do y’all do here, just share stories?

Comments [Anon]: Holy [censored] what. What. CAN YOU TELL US ABOUT THEM?? WHAT WERE THEY LIKE IN SCHOOL? WERE THEY STILL CUTE AND SWEET LIKE THE BEST BRAND OF CHOCOLATE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD????

[Anon]: YEAH LIKE WHITE CHOCOLATE

[Anon]: I’m sorry, but if you think white “chocolate” is good then please keep that [censored] to yourself because that [censored] embarrassing.

[Anon]: White chocolate is good!

[Anon]: You’re an embarrassment to humankind.

→ Continue thread

[Anon]: As the person on the above thread has said, could you share little stories of how they were like in school? If they’re fine with it?

[OP]: Hmm… well I’ll ask first.

I got the permission

Hm, I don’t really know what to say about their relationship though. I was friends with them for a long while but it wasn’t really surprising when they started dating. Osamu’s liked her for years. I heard they were childhood friends and were stuck at the hip with Atsumu as well, but she was closer to Osamu. Though that’s kind of a given, what with Atsumu’s [censored] personality.

She was one of the school council members and really popular as well. Always eager to help people, has a smile on her face and a complete disaster. She’s so damn clumsy and uncoordinated that I once saw her trip on air. On air. How. She’s terrible at cooking as well, like apocalyptic level. She somehow managed to burn rice in home economics class even with three other people keeping an eye on her. It was actually pretty impressive.

Anyway, Osamu was absolutely smitten with her and everyone with eyes or common sense could see it. Except for… you guessed it, her. He would literally be tripping over himself to help her and we were all like “boy, please be more subtle you are killing us”. Especially Atsumu since he had to deal with that even at home because they’re neighbours. I once took a photo of him making the most disgusted and annoyed face, but it got deleted when I changed my phone. An international loss.

Where was I going with this? Oh right, how they went out. I gotta go to sleep so I’ll post that later.

Comments [Anon]: ???? YOU’RE GOING TO LEAVE US HANGING LIKE THAT??? HOW ARE YOU SO CRUEL THIS ISN’T FAIR I CAN’T GO TO SLEEP BECAUSE I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

[Anon]: EXCUSE ME ARE YOU SKILLED IN TORTURE BECAUSE I AM LITERALLY DYING YOU CAN’T JUST BOUNCE AFTER TELLING US THAT. COME BACK!!!!

[Anon]: Dudes I have a good idea. Let’s spam them with comments.

[Anon]: Oh ho, smart, smart.

[Anon]: Dude

Damn you guys are persistent

Chill, I need my sleep as well.

Alright, this was a while ago so some facts might be inaccurate. Also she forbade anyone from commenting on it during school. It’s fine now though, and thankfully I was sitting next to them when it happened.

So Osamu always brings bentos and makes hers as well. He used to make them for Atsumu as well (unwillingly but had to since he complained about it so much) but stopped after like, the second time because they got into a fight. I think the reason was that Atsumu was whining too much about how he doesn’t like some of the side-dishes and Osamu snapped. That was a fun day.

We were eating in the classroom and enjoying our lunch when she blurted out something like “Osamu, you’re so good at cooking! You’d be a great chef. Your wife would want to let you cook for the entire time you’re together!” Which was fine because everyone knows he’s good at cooking. I think that’s what you guys call a gap moe or something, I dunno.

And Osamu just stared at her. You know what moment when you just feel something bad is going to happen? Like that chill in your back? Yeah, it was that. I sensed that from Osamu. Atsumu probably got it as well because our eyes locked and the red alarm of “STOP HIM” flashed in front of both our eyes.

But before we could interrupt, Osamu just smiled and said “I can cook for you like that if you want.” And I [censored] you not, everyone went quiet. We were staring at him like “??? Did you just propose before even asking her out on a date?” And her face, oh god I didn’t know her face could be that red or that her eyes could be so big. She was literally frozen while trying to eat like the rest of us watching them.

When she stayed frozen, it was like there was an error message saying “[Name].exe has stopped working. What the [censored] did you do.” above her head. Osamu eventually moved and dragged her out of the classroom. And they didn’t come back until the bell rang for the next class.

I don’t know what happened during the talk, but I guess he finally confessed because they were holding hands when they came back.

Anyway, yeah. That’s the story of how they went out. I have to sleep again so bye.

Comments [Anon]: WHAT THE [censored]

#osamu x reader #osamu imagine #miya osamu x reader #miya osamu imagine #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu!! imagine #haikyuu one shot #haikyuu!! one shot #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#osamu #miya osamu #SNS format #crack #fluff #female reader

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unimpressedperson · 6 years ago

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ishin-denshin

(I found that picture in @seoulicons . Thank you for posting that)

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Warnings: I mentioned Expensive Girl and sex, so yeah, nothing here is pure. Also, there are mentions of self-harm, so please, if it’s triggering tell me and I’ll change it :) Your mental health should always come first :)

Pairing: Min Yoongi x @emerson-moonchild, Min Yoongi x Reader

Word Counting: 6.2k

Synopsis: Min Yoongi and Emerson had a profound connection, so deep and supernatural that not even themselves understood it. However, nothing is pure bliss and flowers, when everything seems wrong and the connecting fades with time, then their love shall be proven with no otherwise.

A/N: Hey Em!! It’s finally here! I finished your oneshot + poem. Yes!! I mentioned The Chaos Club and paired them with BTS, but tried not to focus on them. Even though it finished with over SIX THOUSAND WORDS, I had to stop myself and not include random and unnecessary stuff, like interactions between characters without the starring roles presence (Yoongi and Emerson). Oh, before I continue, I changed the band’s name, it’s shitty, but I even wrote one verse of ‘Clarividencia’ (the BTL song mentioned). Hope it’s good! You deserve the best Em, or should I begin calling you ‘cutie pie’? Lol Sorry for my bad grammar and hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing :)

- x - x - x -

Min Yoongi took a long sip on his coffee, dark and, ironically, sugar-free. He enjoyed small ironies and always drank from them, maybe it worked as fuel to his personality. Despite from the cute face and artistic name, Yoongi enjoyed how people were amazed about the personality flashed: rebel, serious, sarcastic, a human with a stone cold heart pumping blood and rage to his organs.

Well, that's how outsiders saw him, reality was insanely different. Emerson knew it, she dig down so deep in Yoongi's emotions, finding a butter heart with so much love stored. Whilst drinking tea from a ridiculously adorned cup, she analyzed his soft expressions and occasional wrinkling nose whenever the bitterness hit his taste buds.

– Tea is just leaf juice, you know, right? - Yoongi asked, not glaring straight at Emerson.

– So what? It's delicious. - Emerson answered, taking a long and loud sip from the salmon and cream coloured cup, raising her pinky. - Coffee is just juice from beans. Water is juice from ice cubes.

– You are so british sometimes. - The man said and turned to look at Emerson, grinning slightly at her cuteness and rosy cheeks.

– Well, my identity backs you up on that. I'm british, living in London, drinking tea in a british coffee shop, listening to british news on television, presented by a british journalist, graduated in a british university, working for a british television broadcast channel. You are the foreigner here, love. - She said serious, but smiling, fingers stuck around the cup, steam warming her face.

– I know. Everything is so british. Even our songs are getting british. - Yoongi said and finished his cup of coffee with a short sip. - Yesterday Taehyung sang with british accent, even the verses in korean. We were surprised and Namjoon almost collapsed cuz one of the words sounded like 'yadong', which is porn in korean.

– I'm surprised one of your songs never mentioned 'yadong', since it's a rock band with pretty explicit musics. - She giggled remembering the first time Yoongi allowed her to listen 'Expensive Girl', their first song that exploded in SoundCloud, and as soon as Bangtan Lads made a career outside Korea, the track was deleted, only officially existing in personal files from every member.

– Don't you throw 'Expensive Girl' at me, it was Jin and Namjoon's idea to release it. - Yoongi said and raised one of his eyebrows slightly.

They were sitting on a table close to the window, sun shining bright outside, breaking through the typical whitish smoke accumulated all over London's atmosphere. The cafè was one of those overrated places, charging abusive prices for a cup of plain coffee, walls painted in a very dirty shade of cream, matching the fancy cups (the owner would never admit it, but Emerson knew they were bought in Walmart, part of a special edition paying homage to Duke William and Duchess Kate wedding), wooden floor well polished, and secondhand machines.

– Why do we insist in coming here anyways? There is nothing special or marvelously tasty, and the prices are salty, even for my rich ass. - Yoongi said, listening the annoying creek sound from the old, and possibly thriftshopped, brown chair.

– Because it's small, quiet and mainly because your fans won't flash boobs outside the window, since they would never imagine rockstar Min Yoongi having a coffee with his girlfriend in a place like that. - Emerson said, staring the street along with Yoongi.

– Yeah, that day we went to Starbucks was insane. Who would imagine someone is actually willing to lift the blouse and get arrested in exchange of an autograph? - Yoongi said and chuckled.

– That day was intense and weird. Her boobs were beautiful, though. Round and symmetrical. Your face tattooed on the nipples also looked good. - Emerson said and smirked in a dorky way, leading Yoongi to chuckle even louder. - Who would ever guess that your nose has the exact shape of a nipple? The fan was a genius, we got to admit.

Yoongi left all the weight from his upper body heavy on the chair back, staring at the ceiling and inhaling deeply, exhaling and repeating. He swallowed a puddle of spit pooling on his tongue and looked back at Emerson, finishing her tea with a short sip and folding back the napkin.

– Fame is so good sometimes. Don't take me wrong, I love making music, being rich and travelling around the globe, but the occasional harassment bothers a lot. - Yoongi said tapping his fingers on the table.

Emerson reached his arm and caressed lightly the skin covered with a sweatshirt. Yoongi inclined to the side, laying his head on table, feeling his girlfriend's fingers petting his black hair. Sometimes words weren't required, silence had a lot to say, loud, actions could hold even more significance.

– I love you, cutie pie. - Yoongi mumbled, cheeks squeezed against the wood, but words still bright and clear.

– I love you too, Yoongles. - Emerson replied, still feeling his smooth wires against her skin. Soft touches coming from both sides.

Whoever saw Min Yoongi up spitting on a microphone, saying raw words about political struggles, sex, mental health, life and a few songs based on stories, possibly thought of him as a rough person. No one would ever imagine his soft side, everyone always glanced over and focused on Suga, not Yoongi. The opposition between personality shown and stage name enchanted and intrigued.

Yoongi only allowed a few people to witness his actual personality.

Opening up and letting someone unknown in his personal space, oh it always represented a problem to Yoongi. A lonely soul that hardly had friends, only close to a few people. Bangtan Lads represented friendship and family.

Namjoon, Hoseok, Jungkook, Seokjin, Jimin and Taehyung flew from Korea to England with him after achieving worldwide success, for the sake of their fame moving to a place rather connected to alternative rock sounded as a clever change. Seven korean boys, carrying a bag with worn-out clothes, instruments and golden discs. Simplicity and luxe. Millions of fans, artists and new faces, yet Yoongi only felt truly comfortable around his bandmates.

After a few months living in England, conceding daily interviews and working like horses in new musics, Yoongi decided to try and join a dating app. Hoseok met a few women through Tinder, but happily found Taylor, friends with benefits at first, but a few months later his girlfriend. Witnessing one of the lads glad in a relationship inspired Yoongi, he even paid for Tinder Gold, regretting immensely after two dates and realizing sex could be good, but lacked connections. He needed to connect with that person, deeply to a point where her heartbeat felt like music.

Lonely and slowly giving up, Yoongi felt his heart flutter when Emerson appeared like a butterfly on his eventful yet boring life. Emerson emerged from a calm life working as music critic for Rolling Stones, to the love of Yoongi’s life and his main inspiration.

Everything began when Emerson went to work and received the task of interviewing a korean band. Apparently someone was sick and everyone else had more important stuff to do. She accepted and decided to use the original agenda, adding a few questions and studying every member.

Those who believe would say it was love at first sight, a connection between souls. Not even a word flew across the room, but Yoongi felt butterflies on his stomach and heart beating faster. For a single moment, he even considered the idea of end having a heart attack, because in years no one ever made him feel like that. Emerson lost words and suddenly, there were only Emerson and Yoongi in a room, not the whole Bangtan Lads.

That same day they had dinner together. Chatted, danced and traded cellphone numbers. Instead of going back to his place, Emerson took him to her home and they watched a movie.

For the first time in a almost a whole year living in England, Min Yoongi felt a connection.

- x - x - x -

– I swear that Zeus’s nutsack is the best position ever. - Namjoon said and threw the notebook in Jungkook’s direction, watching him grab it and read all lyrics written down.

– And why should we sing about that? - Seokjin asked raising one eyebrow, expression deadly serious, grabbing his can of Coca-Cola and sipping from the white straw. - I love doggy style, but would never write a whole goddamn song about it.

– I agree with Jin, the world doesn’t need to know what you and Bárbara are up to. I never wanted to know. - Taehyung said and nodded in Jin’s direction, whilst curling a lock of brown hair on his fingertip. - Honestly, I think you need vacations, your ideas are getting cornier, hornier and grossier.

– Let the man live, you guys! - Hoseok said and took the notebook off Jungkook’s hand, being punched in return. - I don’t even know how the fuck is Zeus’s Nutsack, but if our smartpants wants to write about his experience, allow him to do so. - He gazed down at the lyrics on his hands and chuckled. - Sorry Joon, but this time I’m with Tae and Jin, I won’t sing it.

– Please guys! We are an alternative rock band who has three songs about sex, we need something to bring sexy back during the concerts or fans will feel bored. It’s been two tours since Jimin showed his abs during ‘Clarividencia’ for the last time. People are commenting on Twitter. - Namjoon said and pouted.

– Let’s vote. It’s a democracy, isn’t it? - Yoongi asked, emerging from his big and fluff chair and bending down, his upper body supported by the elbows firmly planted on his skinny thighs. - I vote to burn that shit and never mention it again.

Everyone in the studio laughed, except for Namjoon, he shrunk on his spot and turned the page, sketching and randomly drawing circles, looking for inspiration in something other than intercourse. Yoongi watched everyone leave the studio and sat beside him.

– Remember when we first recorded a full-length album and korean managers wanted us to become a pop? They saw potential in every single one of us, but wanted a profitable artist. - Yoongi laid his head on Namjoon's shoulder. - Thankfully we took our content and moved to an indie recording studio. Can you possibly imagine us as Bangtan Sonyeondan? BTS not BTL? We discussed the idea, and the first sketch of success wasn't the right one. Maybe that song is like BTS, a bit more of thought and time may turn it into BTL.

– Are you saying that I should focus less on the movements itself? The song is pretty explicit, so should I use better metaphors? - Namjoon asked, still not looking at Yoongi, but the older man saw a sparkle run through his eyes, like a lightbulb shining with new ideas flowing through his synapses.

– We can work on it later, right now I want to prepare a surprise to Emerson. Can you believe we've been together for 5 years already?

– Yeah, half a decade. - Namjoon said, sighing deeply. - What do you have in mind?

– I'm gonna propose. - Yoongi smiled, a gummy grin with feelings running off the edge. - I've been planning it for two years now. When we completed our third anniversary, Emerson wrote a post on her personal Tumblr about our relationship, mentioning a few situations and funny moments from day to day. That same day I wanted to make a song, but it's easy, within hours I could finish a masterpiece and the effort would be almost none, so I decided to step up my game a little and began writing a book. Poems about her, our partnership, my feelings, everything.

– It's really thoughtful of you, Yoongs. - Namjoon wrote a few random lines on his notebook and turned to look at his friend. - And some folks still dare to claim you are not a romantic guy.

In fact, not even Yoongi saw himself as someone surfing on romance, usually writing about politics and books. Focusing in feelings and matters related to relationship never appealed. He became responsible for most tracks talking about issues of immigrating from Korea to England, emphasizing that fame changed how they saw him, but xenephobia still existed. Bangtan Lads received a Grammy Nomination for ‘Golden Borders’, a whole album shoving in people’s ears how shittily they treated immigrants, but still wished from heart to live in USA.

Using ‘Golden Borders’ as the soundtrack, Emerson made researches and released a documentary about immigrants, showing the ridiculous racism and highlighting double-standards in how right-wing parties treated foreigners victims of war and those just running from economic crisis, but still wealthy. She also reported how politicians like Donald Trump vertiginously changed the meaning of “immigrants”, not differing someone legal from the illegals.

Yoongi was possibly the proudest boyfriend ever accompaining his significant other during the premiere of ‘Invisible: The Truth on Immigrating’. Emerson invited a few famous people who immigrated from their home-countries, along with “common” folks.

Maybe he wasn’t the most romantic boyfriend ever, but still knew how to encourage Emerson. During their relationship, Yoongi convinced her of writing two books, one script for a movie, produce two documentaries and demand her own column on Rolling Stones site. Whilst she inspired and gave ideas to two albums which earned them four Grammy Awards, abetted him into trying something solo, and produce for different artists aside from BTL.

Even though both of them worked massively with media, Emerson and Yoongi never thought about conceding interviews as a couple. Daily invitations for appearances in shows together popped up on their e-mails, but without discussing it they already knew the answer: No.

When asked the reason, Emerson and Yoongi agreed to keep their personal life, well, private. They already shared a few cute moments on Instagram and Tumblr. Why would someone want to dig more into the relationship? Snooping isn't good.

- x - x - x -

– In conclusion. Communism wasn't planned for over populated countries, or planets. - Jade said and chopped in two the turkey sandwich she was holding, taking a bite from one half of it.

Emerson shrugged her shoulders and nodded, agreeing with Jade. Accompanied by Shmailah and Zariah, they were waiting for the reunion with some other journalists from Rolling Stones. The weekly meeting for coming up with ideas to articles, reportages and new ideas for photoshoots to use in scheduled interviews, was about to happen, but only a few professionals were already there.

Usually, the boss bought some goodies to complement and cheer every meeting, but that day in question had food and sandwiches provided by a new diner across the street. They were lolling on burgers, sandwiches and chips, also milkshakes and cherry fizzy drinks.

– My article about nigerian culinary is going smooth. - Zariah said and took a sip from the vanilla milkshake in front of her. - That restaurant I contacted to ask for primary informations, the old lady sent me fried yams. I’m totally sending her a Christmas card and gift, and candy canes for her grandchildren.

– Great! It's so nice when someone values our work and spoils us with small, yet adorable gifts. - Emerson said and dipped one chip in the ketchup sauce. She was sitting curled up, knees touching her chest, not very excited. - By the way, mine about Bollywood is almost done, but I need some new informations. Can you help me, Shims?

– It's not right to assume I know a lot about Bollywood, only based on my bangladeshi heritage… But yes I’m a fucking Bollywood nerd and would love to help. - Shmailah grinned perversely, caressing Emerson's cheek with love, noticing that she seemed a little down lately. - What's up, Em? You don't seem very happy, not even surrounded by your best friends and a whole lot of free junk food.

The parallel conversation between Zariah and Jade quit, suddenly all three pairs of eyes were gazing at Emerson, who felt her cheeks getting warmer. She took another chip and started talking, whilst shaking the potato around, like a wand, before taking a bite and continuing.

– I don't think Yoongi loves me anymore. - She sniffed, swallowing the growing knot in her throat with chips. - We've been together for five years now, but in the last few months he's been a little distant. I know, I know, Yoongi sometimes loses himself inside his own brain, but not distant like that. Far, you know? We used to be so connected, now that connection seems a little faded.

– Oh Emerson. I don't see that happening, ever. - Jade said, bending over the table to grab her fries-less hand. - Yoongi seems so passionate about you. Whenever we go out in group, he only has eyes for you. Like, when Yoongi notices you barely had the opportunity to speak, he always tries to bring you into the conversation. Jimin already witnessed your boyfriend getting distracted and spend several minutes staring at his lockscreen, which is you.

– Totally agree with Jade. Not even dead Yoongi would stop loving you, he would probably find his way back into our spiritual plan only to make sure you are aware of his love. - Shmailah said, watching a shy tear run down Emerson's rosy cheek

– It's so complicated. In the past two months he spent days without showing up at our place, and not caring to tell where he is. Whenever he is around though, the office's chair receives most attention, since Yoongi locks himself there and if I try to get in, he scouts me outside saying it's something related to work. - Emerson tried to swallow the knot again, but now not even milkshake worked, and she sobbed. - Why couldn't I see if it is about work? When he was recording and producing his solo mixtape, I slept on the studio's couch for four days straight, trying to support him. I'd never do anything to ruin whatever he has been working on. We had coffee today at a cafè, but the experience felt so shallow. Small, verging insignificant, talk.

– I’m so sorry to hear that, baby. What if he’s been working in something for you? Like a gift and doesn’t want you to see and spoil the surprise? - Jade asked, raising one eyebrow. - You shouldn’t conclude always the worse, sometimes it is just something you can’t put immediately put together. Consider it and give time to time.

The conversation silenced in the moment everyone else invited to the meeting showed up. Seven other journalists gathered, including the boss, whose appeared holding another tray full of cookies and cupcakes.

– For what it seems like, that diner also has bakery goodies. - Jackie, also know as The Boss, said pushing the tray up on table. - I love so fucking much my job. Whoever don’t can totally stand up and leave, more cupcakes and chips for me, há!

- x - x - x -

Emerson had no time to think about her situation with Yoongi during the afternoon. Work consumed every disposable piece of brain cell, fulfulling a whole week of articles for her column and completing one reportage about self-made millionaires.

However, after leaving the building and heading home, the empty apartment made her shatter out and cry, sobbing and feeling a sudden urge to destroy something. Not only a random object like a glass cup, but something stiffier and harder to fix, like herself. In years working, dating Yoongi and being friends with so many great people, she never felt that need again, honestly, considering the idea of hurting her own body sounded weirdly appealing, after so much improvement, going back felt like a failure.

Maybe the past years left her brain so occupied with every new information, that negative thoughts had no actual space, a little tab in the corner that was muted by Yoongi’s voice. Now, without his presence and strong connection, Emerson silenced all other tabs, only listening to the one where haters were loud, depression and self-harm spoke freely.

Years of self-improvement faded within a pinch, a thin drop of blood coming from her thigh stained the beige pants, and Emerson left the small, yet painful, piece of skin go from between her long nails.

Weak and sobbing, she reunited all forces and stood up from the front door, walking slowly in bedroom’s direction, wishing only to lay down, curl up inbetween the duvets and sleep, ignoring any bad temptations, observing them disappear along with conscience.

Old monsters, some she saw as teenage ghosts, showed up. Emerson felt stupid for harming herself over such a small reason. Independent woman, smart, successful, amazing close friends, and yet the major breakdown in years was happening because of a man. What kind of mean joke could that be?

She wished so hard to pull herself together again, living happily and not getting to precipitated conclusions over small situations. That's it, maybe she was only overreacting. What if she is not? What if the connection between them is, indeed, fading? What if? What? What?

What was their mistake?

What was her mistake?

Was there a mistake?

Cruel trick her own brain was playing. Blackjack with sanity. Poker with happiness. What did she had to bet? Of course, Emerson conquered a lot in years, how much of that could she lose? Golden Globe? Literature prizes? All had her name embedded in wood. Friendships? Weekly night-outs proved that their bond didn't change within years. Why then only Yoongi seemed to slip through her fingers? The only thing she would miss the most, fading like smoke on the water.

Sometimes, the smartest, strongest, toughest people can go through menaces with delight and peace. Though, their inner monsters exist, and can seem small for whoever witnesses from outside, but a spider is a huge matter to a fly. Struggles and fears, perspective changes them.

Judging someone's feelings and fright isn't up to us.

- x - x - x -

That night Yoongi meant to crash down at the studio, but Namjoon showed up close to midnight, accompanied by his girlfriend, a small and chubby woman with wild brown hair, and also followed by Jimin and Jade, Jin and DiLayla. Their Instagram revealed that everyone had dinner, sponsored by a fancy restaurant trading food for audience.

– Why is everyone here grating me with the grace of your presence? Is there a party happening in my studio and I'm not invited? - Yoongi asked sarcastically, saving the new poem written before anyone could ruin it.

– Cut it out, Yoongi. - Jade said taking her thick beige coat off, leaving it on the black couch. - Don't you think you've been spending way too much time working? Stuck in your office or studio?

Her tone seemed mysterious, as if she meant something more than what was actually voiced. Yoongi felt intrigued watching everyone getting comfortable. Were they intervening?

– What is that? An intervention? I don't do drugs. - Yoongi joked, only him laughing, everyone else seemed morosed.

– See Yoongs, we were having dinner and suddenly Emerson became a subject of discussion. - Jin spoke trying to look chill, but very tense. - Jade mentioned that Emerson has been feeling a bit… Ignored lately. Bárbara and DiLayla agreed...

– Let me speak, love. - DiLayla touched Jin's shoulder and stood up. - Emerson mentioned to us that you’ve been working way too much, even at home, and she thinks you don't love her anymore. Basically, she feels like your connection is slowly vanishing.

– Namjoon told us what you've been planning for proposing to her, and honestly, I will take note and use a few of your ideas someday. - Jimin gave a side grin to Jade, watching how she blushed and continued. - But maybe, just maybe, you focused so much on something to her, that kind of forgot her? Not literally, we know you love Emerson with every beat of your heart, your maeum [마음, something like feelings], but you know, you can't starve a man before feeding him…

– What? Emerson is feeling neglected? - Yoongi asked, chocked and feeling his heart breaking.

Yoongi turned the chair around when tears verged to fall, not wanting to face his friends whilst crying. Jin, Jimin and Namjoon only saw him emotionally shattered in two situations. Feeling raw and vulnerable always made him uncomfortable, mainly being stared by people he had no intimacy, like his friends’s girlfriends, they were cool, but not close enough to watch him with guards down.

The young man hated this aspect of him. He despised how inadvertently his mind let things pass without noticing, facts around that could vastly affect his life, personal or professional. Having Emerson always picking up on him about unhealthy habits made it easier to don't die after spending three days living off hard liquor and olives, and overworking.

He wasn't someone mindless, or easily distracted, but Emerson helped him to focus in more than one thing at once, like working, but still resting enough, or channeling the best from every situation. Hiding something from her, avoided the warnings. Without realizing, Yoongi evicted his girlfriend from working aspects of him.

Maybe Jimin was right. He focused so much in doing something for Emerson, that he forgot to live with Emerson.

Goddamn it, Yoongi!

Namjoon looked around and politely asked everyone to leave the studio for a moment. He pulled a chair and sat beside Yoongi, caressing his trembling shoulder.

– I don't think I ever saw you crying over something so simple to solve. - Namjoon whispered, still petting his friend's shoulder. - You know nothing is lost and what to do is actually easy. The solution may ruin a huge surprise, but it is going to soothe a small injure caused by itself.

– What if Emerson has been considering to break up? Oh fuck, Joon! What if I ruined it all? - Yoongi used his sleeves to dry off his tears. - What if everything is so lost that not even all poems I wrote could fix it?

– See, a few weeks ago me and Barbs were talking about couples that gathered together along the past years. - Namjoon said and stopped caressing Yoongi's shoulder. - First, Hoseok and Taylor, then you and Emerson, Jade and Jimin, Di and Jin, me and her, Zariah and Jungkook, and Shims with Tae. I think we created an equilibrium in universe. Everyone is such a great and right match that if at some point one these couples break up, a new Big Bang would happen, cuz the mutual decision could ruin the universal balance.

“I'm not being far-fetched, I swear in the name of Stephen Hawking. - Namjoon spoke and made a cross in his chest. - Sometimes a long-term relationship can go through challenges. Two different people sharing a life of experience cannot live without occasional fights, bickering or arguing. We are human, even the most rational ones can be stubborn. All you have to do is insist. Although, it seems like Emerson loves you as much as you love her, so the only struggle here is distance.”

– You are right, but I’m still feeling like a sucker. - Yoongi snuffled, cleaning the coryza from his runny nose. - But as Emerson already told me, I should learn from my mistakes, then use it on an inspirational song, making my fans wander on what actually gave me the idea to it. - He grinned passionately and turned his cellphone screen on, staring at the lockscreen: a stunning picture of Emerson in Japan, smiling, using a flower crown and surrounded by cherry blossoms. - I love her so much.

Next thing processed by cameras around the building was a very hurry Yoongi grabbing his stuff, leaving a group of friends behind. A determined face, quick steps and then driving fast through the parking lot, tyres screaming like Robert Plant in the beginning of ‘Immigration Song’.

- x - x - x -

Emerson woke up in a startle after hearing the front door banging loudly. Still sleepy, she had no energy to stand up and check what was happening. Sleep whilst crying is exhausting, you wake up psychologically weary. After a few minutes and heavy steps, she heard someone calling her name, more specifically, Yoongi calling chanting her name.

She stood up, bringing one of the duvets along, and walked to the room, where Yoongi was crouched down, sitting on his calfs, typing something on the laptop he settled on the coffee table. When the man side glanced Emerson, he got up on his feet and hugged her, feeling his heart shatter with the small, yet present, dot of blood staining her beige pants.

– I’m so sorry. Forgive me, please… - Yoongi whispered, trying not to cry again, not before actually accomplishing his new goal for the night. Also, his mind was worried about the blood on her leg. - Did you hurt yourself, baby? Oh fuck, did you?

– Why? What did you do? - Emerson questioned feeling his arms around her, resisting before letting the duvet down and hugging him back. - I pinched myself a little too hard, but I swear it wasn't serious. Sorry...

– I was distant and absent from your life, and now you are convinced I don’t love you anymore. - He swallowed the knot on his throat, still trying not to cry. - It’s so dumb, because the only thing I love more than you is my music, but you are the inspiration for my work, so you are my music… And I made you hurt yourself.

– No, please Yoongles, it was a small relapse. Not worth of a fuzz. It won't happen again. - She felt his uneven heart beat against her ear, touching his chest. - Who told you that? Who told you how I was feeling? - Her arms quit hugging him, a tension running through both bodies.

– I don’t know, today I was finishing a project for you in my studio and Namjoon, Jin and Jimin showed up, they were accompained by their girlfriends. They told me how you were feeling and made me realize how far I’ve been, and how cold I acted earlier. - He seemed uncomfortable revealing his sources of information, but the truth would end up appearing anyways.

– Wait a second… - Emerson dried the single tear left running down her cheek and stared Yoongi. - Have you been working in something for me? Like, a surprise? A gift?

Yoongi shrugged his shoulders and nodded. His mind was hazy and the urge to just kneel and propose to Emerson without previous background was slowly taking over his guts. He couldn’t predict her reaction, since every brain cell were occupied on finding the right words. Fortunately, the woman grinned shyly and blushed, gazing down on the laptop.

They sat down in front of the open laptop, his arms around her shoulders. Yoongi sighed and pressed the ‘enter’ key, watching Power Point opening and a clear book cover appeared, mint coloured like his hair.

The book Yoongi worked for two years was almost ready. Whilst looking for good names and aesthetics a japanese word loomed from his pre-teenage memories: ishin-denshin (以心伝心) and his book title fitted like a glove. A compilation of poems and the last one, in Yoongi’s humble oppinion, the most majestic one was named after the piece itself. He planned on proposing whilst reading to Emerson.

– You asked me nothing, but I feel the need to explain what’s in front of you. - Yoongi cleared his throat, watching Emerson’s eyes scanning the screen. - My gift for our fifth anniversary was a book. I’ve been planning it for two years now, and in the last two or three months I reached the final details, which were cover and last poem. I never allowed you to see it, because I wanted it to be a surprise. I guess old habits never die, because during the time spent working on that book, I isolated myself from you and gave a wrong impression. Sorry.

– It's so beautiful, even though I don't even know what the title means. - Emerson said and sobbed, smiling through tears. - If the whole book is in japanese, then it would be good if you taught me how to read.

– Oh, cutie pie. I love you so much. - Yoongi snorted and kissed the top of Emerson's head, whose felt so loved, more than she felt in months. - It's, indeed, in japanese. Ishin-denshin, it's a kind of interpersonal communication, unspoken, but the understanding is still mutual. Something like, heart transmits what mind thinks. That word was a trend back in my pre-teenage years, never thought I would use it.

Emerson turned to look Yoongi. His eyes were watering, but no tears falling. She smiled, happily and kissed him. In months, they kissed plenty of times, but none of them had the same meaning as this one. It wasn't sexy or teasingly, if we are going to be honest, the kiss was salty with tears and, well, coryza. Emerson and Yoongi were slowly reconnecting.

The kiss stopped when their lungs claimed for air. After a few smooches, they got back to stare the screen.

– I love you so much, Yoongles. - Emerson felt a magnetic force making her back look for support on his chest, diminishing the space between them. - I know it's dumb, but I firmly believe we are soulmates, there is a supernatural connection between us, and considering the idea of losing you… it made me so desperate and sad. I know I would keep living, but my soul would never feel completed again.

– I know baby, I feel the same way, but instead of voicing my feelings, why don't you read a few poems I wrote? -Yoongi leaned and wrapped one of his arms around her shoulders again, smiling passionately whilst seeing skinny knees touching the chest, covered by a fluff light pink sweatshirt with ‘Treat People With Kindness’ written in a plain white font. He remembered the day they bought the piece of clothing after a Harry Styles concert in London. What a fun night, hanging around with him after the event. As Yoongi said earlier, being famous has its perks.

Emerson felt immersed in deep feelings, some of them not even voiced during their relationship. Yoongi wrote small poems about every aspect of her: from her cute moles, to how he loved petting her hair before sleeping, or how her voice was sweet like honey and face cute as a mochi. Everything, he wrote inspired by moments they shared, like the trip to Japan during spring, or New Year’s Eve in China. The first time Emerson tried kim chi and how her nose puckered when the spicy taste finally hit her taste buds. When she first attended to Bangtan Lads concert and fanchanted along with ARMYs, taking a few of them to backstage. Travelling to Brazil and messaging Bárbara instead of using Google Translator.

They lived so many precious moments together. Yoongi made sure over 100 of them became art through emotional poems.

The last one, named ‘Ishin-denshin’. She took a deep breathe, still sobbing with happy tears running down her face. The silence only broken by occasional snorts and chuckles. However, Yoongi was getting more tense, staring at her eyes.

Ishin-denshin

Once upon a time in the far land of England

A woman gave birth to love impersonated in flesh, blood and gold

No one knew how important she was and how lucky they were

Until chaos from Korea arrived and trapped her in maeum.

Connections can cross the border of space and time

Voices and signs

Touches and sights

You and me, hands holding tight.

Love is a matter of ishi-denshin

Ability to communicate from mind to heart

Open up on a gaze

Not a sound to be heard from mouth.

Thankfully chaos and peace mingle and complete each other

Yin and Yang united by their differences

Perfecting what was already sculpted with dust and water

Remodeling and always improving, resulting in brand new peculiarities.

Love and connections are the result of fighting

Nothing good comes easy

Nothing easy is good

Once you find balance, universe rewards you with love.

Continents separated us for most part of our days on earth

Wandering uneven, looking for the half that best fit our soul

Happily odds were and allowed what resulted in balance

Only imagining myself without you, even my brain in plain conscience feels afoul.

Don’t you dare saying you are not good enough

Cutie pie, you are unique like flakes of snow

Every drop has its own shape

Unique, you never see two looking the same.

My heartbeat is in sync with yours

Slow like when we sleep

Or when we kiss after a long period apart, tumbling in ribcage, rhythm vigorous

I thank everyday for finding my soulmate in a sweetheart like you.

Stay for as long as you want

I feel lucky only by having in my life as a constant

Luckily it won’t change much

When I finally make you a Min like me, everything mine will be ours.

When Emerson finished reading ‘Ishin-denshin’, Yoongi didn’t quite gave her time to think broader and stood up, pulling the woman together. Standing side by side, he kneeled in front of Emerson and proclaimed, among tears and sobs, holding one hand whilst looking for something in his back pocket.

– Emerson, after all those words you’ve read, would you give me the honour of becoming my Mrs.Min?

– The only possible answer is yes.

- x - x - x -

P:S I purple you <3

38 notes · View notes

ais-n · 7 years ago

Note

Ais, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for what you went through. You have no idea what your words meant to me, personally. Thank you for your kindness, for always being kind to me. I wish I had known. There were several times I had typed out messages to you, wanting to reach out, but just as I was about to hit send I deleted them. I was so afraid you would think I was just trying to start shit, or you would attack me. I’m so sorry. I hope you’re doing well. -Noah

Noah, I lost all your old contact info and I think I might be able to find you on GR maybe(?), but in all honesty the idea of going through the thread where I heard you maybe commented is way too emotionally exhausting so I haven’t been able to go look. Honestly, I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to or want to. It’s probably not a healthy choice for me, mentally or emotionally. So I really debated whether I should reply publicly on this or not because I don’t want to put you in a weird position since you already had to be so public in your confession on twitter. I feel like an asshole doing anything that puts you in a weird position because you’re awesome and also I just don’t want anyone to be put in a weird position. But I also have no idea if I’m just worrying over nothing - which is probably the case since usually I’m more worried about things than other people are, except for other worrywarts like me lol

So anyway, that was a long way of saying if I should delete this public reply, seriously just let me know. And then if you want you can send me a message for how to contact you directly, or you don’t have to because you’ll have seen this. It’s up to you. I’m assuming maybe it’s okay to reply publicly because you posted anonymously so I can’t reply privately, but you included your name so I know who you are which you’d probably know would mean I’d want to reply? Again, if you want me to delete this, seriously no problem, just tell me :)

I don’t want to rehash things that we both already talked about in what we posted publicly but I seriously am very sorry I didn’t know and I seriously really wish I had known, and I’m so upset that you were hurt because you are a wonderful person and I want you to be happy and healthy and thriving. I really hope you can get there, if you aren’t there already. You 100% deserve it, dude.

But as for the rest, the only thing I will yell at you about is apologizing to me about anything. What the hell, man? You don’t need to be sorry about anything! Knock it off! There’s literally nothing for you to be sorry about for me so don’t feel sad or bad or anything. The stuff I talked about in that longer story happened like… I can’t even do math right now, but whatever it was, 8-10 years ago or something? And then residual stuff that, yeah, did continue but whatever. Life is life. It’s all about finding meaning in things that happen. And I was lucky in that it’s not like Sonny was evil to me 24/7 or anything, I had a good friend in him (them?) sometimes, but other times things sucked and that’s just how things are when things are out of your control because other humans are involved. That’s when I figure we all just do the best we can to keep ourselves happy while minimizing our negative impact on others. If you ask me, even with everything I talked about I still came out on top because the people who read ICoS are fucking amazing, and I wouldn’t trade them for the world. That includes you.

(I ended up talking too much so I’m putting the rest behind a cut so I don’t bog up anyone’s feed. click here if it doesn’t let you click read more.)

I totally get what you mean, though. There are so many unsent messages or posts or pretty much anything I’ve done over the years – some I wanted to send directly to people but others are just general topics I wanted to talk about but felt I couldn’t for various reasons and etc etc etc The internet is both a great and terrible place for that, because it lets you think and edit as much as you’d like before you post something, but that can also run the risk of constant self-silencing for people who are sensitive to the idea of how their words might affect others, for good or for bad, whether those fears are realistic or completely illogical.

And like, frankly dude, you had no idea who to trust. I mean, I don’t blame anyone at all who didn’t directly reach out to me. They probably saw my name attached to his and were like, “Well who knows if she acts one way in this setting and totally differently elsewhere? I feel like that’s now been my experience with him so she may be the same.” That would be utterly devastating to feel like you’re being attacked from multiple directions, especially in a place you thought of previously as a safe space. Quite honestly, given the way I deal with things, if I were in your shoes I probably would’ve done (and not done) exactly the same things you did or didn’t do, because that would have felt like the safest way to protect my heart. If you ask me, you did what was best for you, and that’s why I’ll yell at you only for giving me any apologies now because that’s the last thing you need to do or even worry about at all.

It’s not like even I know how I would have reacted back then, anyway. I mean, I wouldn’t have attacked you lol I know that much at least. And I imagine I would have believed you weren’t lying because I never knew you to lie. But I really believed he existed as his own human being, so I might have thought everything was some sort of extreme miscommunication or been really confused by it all because he always had an answer any time I tried asking him something, and I usually didn’t know enough of the context to be able to form my own opinion. At that time, I definitely didn’t have all the information I have now, nor all the time in between that let me settle into my validating some of my own emotional reactions to some things I used to dismiss as overreacting, if that makes sense. People like to think they’d do the perfect thing if only this or that had happened in the past but for all I know, in my attempt to make everyone happy, I may have made you feel worse by not responding the way you needed. So I think it’s good you did what was best for you, and if for some bizarre reason you have any residual guilt or sadness or regret or negativity in any way now thinking back on things: Don’t.

I’m just glad if my words now helped you at all, because you (and the others on the tag) were the main reason I felt like I had to say anything more in depth in the first place. I never planned to bring any of that up that I talked about but it didn’t seem right not doing so after I read what you wrote.

I was just really worried I’d be an accidental asshole to you in the process by bringing any of it up at all. I worried over whether I should retweet your confession, for example, and say I believed you – because by that point it had been weeks and I didn’t want to bring it back into the forefront of things after you’d had a bit of time to (sort of) let things die down, but at the same time, would you rather if I did retweet it and help further verify your words from my perspective? Which was the better way to go which would be least likely to hurt you further? Or which way might be more helpful? I was worried about making the wrong choice so I figured it was better not to retweet in case you didn’t want me to, because you can’t really un-retweet something, you know? But then I worried about if that somehow seemed like I was being silent on an important topic. And back and forth and back and forth in my mind, like always.

This is why I can be so slow to respond sometimes, because I want to be as respectful and thoughtful as I know how to be, and since I can have a sassy mouth and impatient disposition with a short temper on some topics which rile me up, like people I like or care about being hurt, I know it’s best for me to calm my fucking farm for a second first and just chill and take a moment to really think about what I’m thinking, why I’m thinking it, and how I can best add to a situation rather than fucking things up by muddying the waters with unnecessary “help” that only makes it worse.

Now I’m just rambling.

I just wanted to tell you I think you’re awesome, and I am wishing you all the very brightest blessings in the world, and I really hope you’re taking care of yourself and you continue to do so into the future. I’m doing well, all things considered, and I hope you are too.

I’m really glad you reached out because I’ve been wanting to send you a message but I was dreading trying to go through that huge thread– plus, I didn’t want to impose and wanted to give you whatever time you needed. So it was all slowing me down with finding a way to reach out to you directly. But since you sent this message, you made it so much easier for me! So thank you! But also sorry you had to be the one who reached out first. I hope you didn’t think I stopped caring after I posted that long ass thing. That couldn’t be further from the truth.

Love yourself, my friend! You’re a lovely person so you’d be crazy not to :)

Oh and hey, for old time’s sake – here are some more photos I’ve taken of nature in the years since I last posted ones for you:

literal double rainbow omgggg

can’t remember if that was a sunset or sunrise but either way I loved the colors. Another view:

Also this, which I find fascinating in the way it so starkly shifts from pale yellow to periwinkle at the break of the clouds:

Also, I could only get a blurry photo but check out how dramatic the clouds were one time:

Let’s end it on a happy note with some fluffy clouds and a pic of what looks like it might have been a super concentrated summer shower under one set of clouds in the distance:

Like that last photo, I hope you can step out beneath the shadow of any cloud that’s weighing you down, so you can experience all the others that are happily floating through their lives just wanting to be seen and loved and have no plans of darkening your day for even a moment. Even in the midst of a storm, somewhere else the sky is clear and the sun will burn away anything that tries to pull you down. This world is big enough to always have another chance, a better circumstance, a clearer day, if only we give it time and, sometimes, distance.

…yeah, that analogy did not work at all. Let’s just pretend it did, shall we? ;)

#ask ais #about me #honestly still haven't figured out how to tag this whole topic #so i default to the basic ones #i still somehow managed to end this on a cheesy note ffs #sorry noah #hope that wasn't too annoying #i got too excited when i pulled out my old photos and could nerd out with you again on them lol #Anonymous

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janiedean · 8 years ago

Note

Do you believe in the statement "Islam is a religion of peace"? I think it's a ridiculous statement and I'm sick of people repeating it over and over. Saying it doesn't make it true. I have NOTHING against Muslims as people but the Koran is no better than the Bible when it comes to violence and pretending otherwise is just ridiculous to me. I came across a gifset the other day of a Muslim woman insisting that Islam is "the most feminist religion of all" and it just doesn't make sense to me.

man you’re talking to an atheist so obviously my answer is biased, and I read the bible but not the koran (I read bits not all of it) so my opinion is what it is, but:

given that I think that the bush jr policy of demonizing islam post sept 11th was the dumbest shit he could have done and I’m happily blaming that for 90% of the mess we’re in today and that I don’t think islam is inherently more violent than christianity given that as you said violence in holy books is about that same level

and given that a lot of the koran has been (purposefully or not) misquoted to justify terrorism/fight against terrorism

and given that 90% of the parts of the sharia law we find more abhorrent (ie the ones condemning lgbt+ people, allowing child brides and so on) aren’t actually in the koran but are holy because some interpreters who were also holy men declared them so so a lot of it is - as with christianity - stuff added by the organized part of the religion (like, there isn’t ONE line in the bible openly condemning abortion unless you don’t interpret the sermon of the mount in a specific way but honestly, but according to the catholic church and christianity in its worst incarnations abortion is A SIIIINNNN)

I also think that everyone automatically tries to delete the worst parts of the religion they believe in and the likes and at the same time it’s really hard to question things you were taught since the day you were born. and going like yES BUT THIS LINE IN THE BOOK SAYS THIS doesn’t mean anything because another says the contrary ten pages after and a lot of religious ppl in general haven’t even read either the koran (see: a lot of isis recruits) or the bible (see: most people who tell me that if I read it I’ll convert, then I tell them I did and if they remember the dismembered concubine from the book of kings and they fall from the clouds. aha) and they tend to stick to the parts that are *safer*. ie for christianity everyone moderate says it’s all about the best parts of the gospel (and no one ever remembers my two favorite bits ie when jesus told people who *went around talking in his stead* that he didn’t know them from adam and when he said to one of the two thieves crucified next to him that he had a place in heaven with him hahahahhahahahaha) and never about the worst parts of them or of the old testament (for one, did you know that with the plagues of egypt the pharaoh refused to let moses go because god directly influenced him because he wanted to show how much more powerful he was in comparison to the pharaoh’s false gods, because the poor guy actually would have let moses leave after the sixth plague? YEAH I DIDN’T UNTIL I READ IT EITHER) same as a lot of moderate muslims focus on the best parts of the koran like the peace message and so on and ignore the worst.

now, personally I think that religious books are written in such a way that you can find anything and its contrary inside them. the bible is BOTH old and new testament but even if you decide that the old doesn’t matter because you only follow jesus’s teachings, okay, paul in some of his letters says exactly the contrary of what jesus meant but paul’s letters are in the NT and no one’s taking them out yet. st. augustine is one of the church’s Fathers with the capital F but he came up with predestination (which is a thing that is absolutely not in the NT) and the catholic church ignores it because it eventually rejected that vision. and so on. it’s not surprising that moderate muslims see their religion as a religion of peace and the jihadists use it to fuel terrorism because both interpretations have their valid points. if you’re moderate and want to say muslim religion is peaceful you have your quotes, if you’re not you have others. and so on. so like, I personally think that since to me it’s all about stuff that doesn’t exist it’s all very ridiculous and I honestly can’t conceive killing themselves in the name of someone whose existence you cannot prove never mind that it’s basically the same God just with a different name and a different theological interpretation so like, wtf guys. I don’t think any religion is inherently peaceful or warmongering, I think people make of it what they want and that you need it separated from the state in any case because if that doesn’t happen it’s always going to coincide with someone’s political interests and fanatics will breed more easily.

re the feminism, I have issues in that sense and maybe a clearer opinion tho that might be that there’s things I cannot chalk to cultural relativism to justify, but like: it’s true that in theory islam is not... well, anti-women at its core because let’s all remember that in the middle ages muslim women on paper were better off than europeans unless my high school books lied about that, but it’s true that a lot of the **sharia** law mentioned above is NOT fucking feminist - whatever you mean with it - and I’m honestly... I mean, I get cultural relativism, but like let’s just take the veil. in theory if it’s an imposition it’s not even valid because you have to choose to wear it and it’s all good, but do people choose to wear it in countries like idk taliban afghanistan? do people have a choice about it when it’s not just the veil but covering your whole damned body and you can’t touch someone else’s hand without your husband’s permission? and saying that it’s also valid for men makes me lol because I haven’t seen men under a burqa yet. like everyone has the rights to choose what they wear or not, but when it’s de-humanizing like that (bc burqas are de-humanizing to me sorry) and it’s people who have been taught since they were born that they have to wear it... is that a choice? and like, yeaaah in saudi arabia eight year old girls can marry people thrice their age and if I have a vagina I can’t drive a car, but that’s feminist? like where I teach, one morning each week it’s just women and only women can teach because some don’t/won’t come if men are attending as well and won’t be taught by male teachers. and like... I understand they do it because otherwise they don’t come, but I feel really iffy about accommodating a thing that to me is out of this freaking universe, especially because you get veiled women coming to regular class without a problem. shit like that imo is just backwards and the fact that it happened here fifty years ago as well means that while I won’t judge muslim countries too harshly on that sense... well, we moved past it and we have equality on paper, shouldn’t they have it too? (admittedly I don’t think attaching ideologies to any religion is a good idea because what the hell does FEMINIST RELIGION even mean, catholics are crazy when it comes to worshipping mary so they’re also feminists?? and religion are used to prop up other ideologies every other day so like.... I’m iffy on that period) so on that topic I honestly can’t agree but because I don’t agree that religions are inherently any -ism.

tldr: I think everyone picks and chooses when it comes to religions so saying that it’s THIS OR THAT is ridiculous (christianity from the westboro baptists is not catholicism to say one and they have the same holy book) and that you need to separate them from politics before doing any kind of this discourse. I also don’t agree with this policy of ‘since bush jr policy was BASHING ON ISLAM FOR EVERYTHING’ now we have to do the contrary and ‘EXCUSE ISLAM FOR EVERYTHING’ because it doesn’t help - you have to condemn the bad apples of the bunch and not alienate the good ones, and that means also criticizing where it’s due.

I mean, ffs, it was on the news here the other day but some girl in bologna who came from a muslim family who didn’t want to wear the veil was forcefully shaved by her mother (like shaved all her hair) and she told her teachers saying she didn’t want to live with them anymore because they were pushing the veil and the religion on her and she didn’t want that, and now she’s with the social services. she’s fourteen. that’s feminist? I don’t... really think so. and the fact that I’m atheist and I don’t get it from the pov of a religious person doesn’t mean that I can’t say it’s fucked up when it’s fucked up.

#religion for ts #like I'm all for people finding their balance and ignore the least progressive stuff in their holy books #but like let's not justify the whole bunch of information pls #because some is fucked up and always will be #anyway pls don't throw rotten tomatoes at me you asked I replied xD #obv not you but i just came from a fairly exhausting fb discussion on the atheism topic #and tbh i'm too exhausted to go into that shit #Anonymous #ask post

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tpaigeme · 6 years ago

Video

youtube

just photos w original music

Dear Democratic Party.

I have a confession to make. The other day I slipped up and prayed.

Should I make a video confessing to my sin? In front of CNN? And the nation? And promise to never do it again? Should I resign in disgrace? An embarrassed look on my face?

I am guilty of party line violation caught in the act..of prayer and supplication to God.

Only you can save us oh great Democratic Party hacks —- the Saviors and Messiahs of our souls and our nation.

I will meditate on you on a daily basis. Upon my little yoga mat I cross my legs and repeat the phrases, “cross my heart hope to die”, forgive me for I

have sinned. How can I make amends?

Shame on me! what kind of proper Luciferian prays, “our Father who art in heaven? Hallowed be thy name? Thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven? Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us? And lead us not into temptation but, (and here’s the kicker), “deliver us from evil.”

Oops I said it again, “deliver us from evil.”

I guess that’s it for me and the Democratic Party. Think of the perks I will lose. But, the Lord I do happily choose, renouncing Satan. Only God can save our nation.

If they had taken one tinth of that energy and focused it half as much to saving mountains and streams...the land, as they do to an idea that is so wispy and unclear, “it depends on what is is”...we would still have mountains in WV.

They destroyed your LAND people!! You were comfortable on your couch watching CNN. Your heart went out to a phenomenon a passing fancy the flavor of the month. Were the mountains too white for you? They were raping your mother “to keep the lights on” by destroying the fundamental physical composition of America...Dirt. And ripping it out from under you in front of your televised eyes.

But what threw you into overdrive, What woke you up and ripped the golden pacifier from your mouth ... wasn’t the destruction of the land, the beautiful forests streams and woodlands, it was your own private ultra specific war ... and you exploded! Over a freckle on a sub atomic particle’s ass! An undefinable utopian fantasy that defied sensory perception to all but the most mindful of and vexed by the anonymity of human existence, the absence of cuddling, by your mommy and daddy who refused to adequately fuss over you who didn’t feel inspired to recognize the 6 year old genius wunderkind goddesses of the universe. That’s right. you have waged war for 30 years for your right to rule in your happy little universe. Correct utopian fantasy must be not just worshipped and adored but done so correctly.

That’s what got you going, spinning sideways out of control ike a top that had run out of petro. Like a drunken Mexican on the streets of Arrested Development.

That’s right. Stop ignoring me or I become a raving mindful lunatic on a yoga mat with a bottle of spring water by my side.

****

Because....you’re sane and they’re not.

For the first time in my life I feel like I am the voice of reason and sanity and moderation . Lol. That should give you an indication of how crazy they are. Theyve out crazied T Paige. It’s a great time a great day a great time for all the unhinged, unglued mentally unstable nut jobs to come out of the woodwork. They have a platform! The worm has turned. For years 50 years at least detente was a good thing! Now the Sore Loser in Chief, Hillary Clinton and her chieftains are outraged, they need someone to blame for their loss, to save face. Why not Russia! ??? So they dig themselves in deeper and deeper. Little do they know it’s their own grave.

How does it feel James to be the sanest voice in the room? Kind a cool ain’t it? God works in mysterious ways his wonders to perform!

Trumps approval rating for July is higher than RR Jimmy Carter and tied w Bill Clinton.

The massive mainstream kgb style propaganda media, crooks, elite, and Facebook are, simply put, on the wrong side, behind the curve. Congrats James. Pat yourself on the back. Well deserved.

It’s very simple really. It’s all about practicality. If your ideas are so impractical as to beggar description, If you get inflamed and emotionally overwrought with other people’s responses negative impressions of your “solution”, step out of the echo chamber and into the light of reason. It is time for you to question. Ask a simple question: what is this shit? Or just do nothing. The pressure to conform should be balanced by reason.

old tyme rockin gospel blues to make your drive more 'interesting' without taking your eyes off the road. or not. the visual is quite interesting too. I may have stumbled on inter-dimensional photography...see if you can find the creatuers that inhabits these one of a kind photographs by t. paige.

Aug 24 and 25

Here is Jim- al X. Zones telling his side of the story. Oops sorry not available. It’s been deleted since last night when I watched it. It’s been removed from my YouTube history.

Go ahead try it. Remember the Dixie chicks? How they were banned? This is no different. Madonna says she wants to s*** Moamar khadaffi and f*** the guy in the Vanilla H *** but no repercussions. Sorry Virgin Mary but Hillary blew him first.

It’s coming. Chinese style censorship. I’m w the ACLU on this one folks. Unpopular opinions should not be banned any more than the library should ban Catcher in the Rye. Say goodbye to another freedom as we approach The NannyState. Men have lost their cojones.

Notice: You cannot NOT care. You must care. For this thing right here. Not caring for this thing is not allowed. You must care about women, minorities, etc because we say so. We don’t care but we’re hypocrites. That’s the difference. We’re all sociopaths. So that’s just how it works because...WE HAVE MORE MONEY AND we are IMPORTANT. You, not so much. So you see it’s not really hypocrisy.

ALSO, you are not allowed to care about your self you selfish Nazi racist bastard.

https://youtu.be/PtfAl6I4SM0

This might get me into trouble.

I posted Pray For our Country and got some anti trumpies comments. They said I’ll pray for that man in the WH. Like he’s the only problem is the only one that we needs to pray about.

It’s starting to really piss me off. Give them an inch and they’ll take a mile.

Is there another reason to pray? Is it because bombs are being dropped? Is it because Obama decided we no longer have to declare war to drop bombs on people? Just pick a country. That we can bomb people anywhere anytime we want?

Or is it because someone offended you? Did it offend you when a convicted pedophile got a standing ovation from most of Hollywood including Meryl Streep at the Academy Awards? Or that madonna said she wanted to blow the White House up? ( remember the Dixie Chicks! )

Or that Hillary Clinton got a child trafficer off the hook? When she kidnapped 30 children in Haiti? Or that this woman now is working for Amber alert? Under a different name? Is it because Muslim grooming gangs in England kept young girls around for sexual purposes for decades? Is it because refugees from starving Africa are storming the beaches of Spain? And roaming the streets of Italy with hatchets and machetes? Is it because there are approximately 1000 no go zones throughout Europe? Where the police do not dare go near? Is it because there are towns in England that have been Muslimized, the churches and the pubs shut down. Is it because the plan under Hillary was to do the same here?

Is it because the real problem here is hypocrisy and fuzzy think. Right and wrong no longer matter and is no longer discernible or desired by MSM brainwashed people. Just don’t offend me ... my delicate feelings are all that matters... none of the above matters. But if you go off script, say something that offends me... ohmy! look out! I am on the warpath and I am marching on Washington!

The problem here is, “you awake?” is no longer the punch line of a joke about redneck foreplay.

I’m trying to add it all up. I think I’m making progress:

What happened was nothing compared to what happens later. A descent.

But initially what happened? Each group made their point. Peacefully. Nothing happened. The fact that this had a good outcome, the three opposing groups had their say each in their moment and no one got hurt.

What happens a bit later, media types begin shaming....Your group is to blame. Blame blame blame.

CNN set it up and dutifully the chorus chimed in. On cue just as we have come to expect.

There is something about creating impossible standards for people that sets them up for control. It’s a means of control and repression common among very manipulative types. (Sociopaths)

The real hurt came later. The attacks began. Now it’s a serious thing we are talking about.

Maligning to a certain extent one group or another.

Perhaps there is something to be gained from all of this. Certainly each group has something to say a point to make.

We see what is unreasonable, counterproductive. To some extent in it’s virulence, and unnecessary.

State your point, without bashing the rest of the world. Behave yourself online. Don’t make stupid comments. Don’t make hurtful comments. Don’t attack. Don’t vilify. Because that’s not what happened in the first place.

Through this lens ljust look at what happened. The boys do the school cheer. The blacks made their points however crude. The Native Americans intervene ostensibly prayerfully to create harmony. Good deal. The smirking white boy, an underage teen, was praying all the time for a peaceful resolution. An end to the confusion. Admirable.

And guess what, prayers were answered.

Let’s be thankful for that.

Let these antagonistic voices reflect on their own motives, meanspiritedness, within their own souls and consciousness. Is what I am doing ugly, one sided and unfair? “I went off without hearing the whole story. And it devolved into a diatribe. For that I apologize. I got it wrong.”

Later the Native Americans went to a church. During mass. They were not allowed to go in for fear that they would disrupt the services.

What if someone had come out and said you’re welcome to come in if you are quiet and respectful. Or you can wait and we will have a representative out here to listen to what you have to say.

Can you imagine ... Native Americans and Catholics outside on the steps harmoniously joining together in prayer?

Both sides believe in praying do they not?

Each side attaches solemnity to the act of praying. Then what is to prevent them from praying together?

That moment has passed but another moment is possible. We have had time to reflect, to process and come to a meeting of the minds.

The Pueblo Indians have a legend that some mysterious personage visited the tribe and told them of things to come.

Thanks for listening.

Rainbows 🌈 and unicorns 🦄 4ever. P.

https://youtu.be/RH8pseoLmC8

Hey John, I’ve seen some of your Facebook posts that come in my feed checked out your page. I knew your dad.

Just remember the words to the prayer, is my best unsolicited advice. It touches us all and everything better than anything and believe me I’ve searched my whole life. It’s a condensation and distillation of things that are spiritually meaningful to all of us. Best of all they are not my words or anybody else’s of similar human consciousness. We know they come from a higher place and beyond ourselves and they lift us up to that level. That’s my experience which I’m trying to share in this song. People share lots of things on fb, right?

I believe you are musically gifted ... I heard from your dad and others. I don’t know if we’ve actually met but I remember there was some good buzz when you were younger.

I’m trying to spread the word and various people come up, in my consciousness, individuals who for one reason or another I really want to share it with.

So I just wanted to share this with you.

And hope you have a good day. Hang in there John.

https://youtu.be/RH8pseoLmC8

****

There’s no reason to think that by the boys not being where they were supposed to be that there was ill intent on their part ... just wandering off.

Apparently these days just about anything no matter how innocent, like wandering off makes you a bad guy. That is very wrong in my opinion. Having white skin makes me a bad guy. It’s called identity politics, but it’s more like a circular firing squad.

And it’s orchestrated by the truly guilty, the fraction of 1% that control our minds. This control is exercised mainly through the Democratic Party these days but in times past it was the Republicans.

Neoliberals have emerged in the same way that neocons emerged and like a parasite have taken over the brain and diverted it 180° opposite from it’s original purpose and identity.

How can you get the majority of peaceful people to go to war without a pearl harbor or a Gulf of Tonkin or an assassination or a 911. Can you actually create a Civil War over an issue? They can. And they work on it day and night. Rust never sleeps.

They have all of the tools and resources. Political power, the media, money.

When Mao was losing power he used his wife to destroy a culture. I see the Clinton’s and their backers doing basically the same thing. Any means necessary to retain power. Even if it takes down the whole country in process. It doesn’t matter who you sleep with. Change the laws change the religion change the family destroy the family blame the culture, blame this one and that one, it’s all justified.

But never blame those w the big $, the ones that have no allegiance but to power and who fund your group. Through their corrupt shell game, foundation/money laundering operation.

I guess what they want more than anything else at this point is civil war. They’ve taken civil disobedience and added violence to the mix and perverted Martin Luther King Jr’s. message or dismissed it.

But most Americans still believe it. Most Americans don’t believe in what the neo liberals are pushing. They have seen what the neocons did to this country. And they are not buying this divisive “movement” to further divide us, either.

It’s been around for quite some time, three decades at least. It’s never been about uniting us. It’s never been about us. And that’s what Bernie tried to do and did! Unite us. And look what happened to him.

The DNC has been exposed and yet they keep on going in the same direction. They are still leading the charge off this cliff. Male against female, black against white etc. And these people the majority of them are good people and couldn’t care less. So they’ve come for the children.

Look how CNN twisted what happened and turned on these boys. Got the whole nation up in arms against them. Now they get death threats and have been docsed.

Can you imagine CNN calling high school kids “school shooters?” But that’s the side CNN took. Against kids. These are foul, evil people at CNN. They are supposed to be journalists and they are preaching hatred against kids.

Back to the wandering off bit. If there was a group of native Americans demonstrating or protesting or just doing something interesting wouldn’t you want to watch? Maybe you might wander off too, to see what was going on? That was the whole wish and desire of the Native Americans. They wanted that attention. So why were the boys at fault for wanting to check it out? It was interesting. How did they know what would happen next?

But it’s so easy in this culture to pin the blame on the innocent. And even feel good about it because you are taking up for the “poor oppressed minority.” But not the poor, oppressed white families faltering in this climate less and less which Bernie recognized. Austerity.

It’s not good judgment, or just, to do that but that’s what happens again and again.

This time it happened to a group of teenage Catholic boys. Who I think behaved admirably.

Who targeted them? The minorities that everyone is so quick to embrace even if they are in the wrong. Even if they are railroading an innocent person or persons. Or a whole country.

I will embrace them too when they realize I’m not the enemy. I pray for them because I have more in common with them than what divides us if they only knew that we have a common enemy. As long as we are divided the problems will become worse. Our enemies would fall in a nanosecond if we all united.

It’s CNN’s job to make sure we don’t. That’s their real mission, and their real job. Not reporting the news. That’s what they get paid for. Hit pieces against kids. Not reporting the news. Not reporting what actually happened.

No, this time they came after our kids. They’ve been after them for quite some time. Along with mom and dad. But Mom and Dad are hopefully both fully awake by now and can see what’s going on.

It’s a whole new ball game when they come for your kids.

***

If they had taken one tinth of that energy and focused it half as much to saving mountains and streams...the land, God’s creation, over which we were to be “responsible stewards” not irresponsible psychopaths...as they do to an idea that is so wispy and unclear, “it depends on what is is”...we would still have mountains in WV.

But no, Hell no. They destroyed your LAND people!!

You were comfortable on your couch watching CNN. Your heart went out to a phenomenon a passing fancy the flavor of the month. Were the mountains too white for you? They were raping your mother “to keep the lights on” by destroying the fundamental composition of America...Dirt. And ripping it out from under you in front of your televised eyes.

But what threw you into overdrive, What woke you up and ripped the golden pacifier from your mouth ... wasn’t the destruction of the land, the beautiful forests streams and woodlands. No, hell no.

it was your own private ultra specific war ... and you exploded! Over a freckle on a sub atomic particle’s ass! An undefinable utopian fantasy that defied sensory perception to all but the most mindful of and vexed by the anonymity of human existence, the absence of cuddling, by your mommy and daddy who refused to adequately fuss over you who didn’t feel inspired to recognize the 6 year old genius wunderkind goddesses of the universe. In your laziness and intellectual dishonesty, you have elevated the smallest vexation and irritation to an Absolute. Your own little fiefdom where you sit, pompous and pussy-hatted on your throne and rule with an iron fist and a divine pussy hat with a clear mandate: Maintain by illogic ucharade-save the Wispies!

That’s right. you have waged war for 30 years for your right to rule in your happy little universe utopian fantasy where you are, not just worshipped and adored but correctly, perfectly.

That’s what got you going? Spinning like a top that had run out of gas wobbling like a drunken Mexican?

That’s right. “Stop ignoring me or I become a raving mindful lunatic on a yoga mat with a bottle of spring water by my side.”

And I am infinitely mindful of your every infinitesimally small screwup and transgression.

Damn right.

Who knows? What you’re on about. Only you.

But it’s got you going you up off your ass out in the street raving like a fucking lunatic.

Have at it, motherfucker, have at it. We’ve already had our way with your mother so have at it!

****

I wouldn’t say this if it wasn’t important.

Granted there are a lot of people upset about the election. It’s apparent that the democratic party though, has gone too far w their rhetoric. All this about Civil War, impeachment, and every other extreme Kathy Griffin type of nastiness, isn’t that what it is? You tell me? What is it?

Trump’s approval numbers for July according to Gallup, are higher than LBJ, Ronald Reagan and Jimmy Carter and the same as Clinton. Depressing isn’t it? But keep swimming. Keep up the good fight. But be careful about unintended consequences.

There are people that actually voted for Trump. It’s not a crime. They were exercising their rights. Now you want to bash them. I understand. I’ve lived through Nixon and Bush and LBJ. Mistakes were clearly made and lives were sacrificed. At this point we have not reached that level of atrocity. Perhaps we should all remember sticks and stones may break my bones.

There is good evidence that LBJ had Kennedy killed. He was in on it. Lone gunman ... I don’t think so. The Warren report was fraud a massive fabrication.

I’m saying this so that you can see and acknowledge that there is a Behind the scenes network. They carried off that coup . And they carried off 911. They got Americans to believe a lie. Aided and abetted by the mainstream media.

Do you want to know the truth? You’re not going to get it by being outraged at everything that the mainstream media reports as fact. There is a truth community it is neither Republican nor Democrat. It is both.

I don’t know why Trump won. But Hillary was part of the reason. Number one the way she treated Bernie...Number two Hillary herself. This whole thing of winning at all costs doubling down, Russian collusion, you need to investigate how that all started. It was a campaign hatched on day one. Opposition research that went too far just like everything that Hillary does.

You have to recognize that even when you protest the other side has a right to their point of you. You have to try to meet in the middle. I was an activist for 20 years before all this happened. One of the things that most of us realized was you can’t let anger take over your life. You can be angry but use it in a constructive way! Our model was Gandhi civil disobedience discourse.

Also you need to look at George Soros from the other side. What they really want is a police state. They want to stifle dissent. Which is ironic. You can’t have it both ways. You can’t call people racist who simply disagree on the way to proceed. The kind of solution on immigration etc. I don’t care if you have the pope on your side calling people out as racists for wanting to enforce immigration laws that already exist that have existed for years in every country. Why would such a radical agenda as open borders be promoted? Is that not a dangerous idea? Just open the borders to everyone? It would be nice if we lived in that kind of world. But there are bad guys and we don’t live in that kind of world.

There is so much wrong with the liberal agenda right now. It is diametrically opposed to historical liberalism. You hurt your cause w some of the tactics that are used to promote your cause.

You need to break away from all of that because number one where is it coming from? Consider the source. The mainstream media which is controlled by the CIA. It is heavily regulated by the CIA. If you would do your research you would find out that Gloria Steinem worked with the CIA. So did Nancy Pelosi. Gloria Steinem by her own account in an interview went into great detail about those days. They funded Ms. magazine. Do you think that she was the only one? Do you think that practice has stopped?

Go to Ted talks on YouTube and watch the video of the reporter who defected from the mainstream media and is now a whistleblower. It is amazing how devious they are and have become.

Sheryl Atkinson

https://youtu.be/-bYAQ-ZZtEU

Also look up Maria Kennedy Shriver on Krista Tippet’s “On Being” talk show on NPR. She talks about some of the mistakes that folks on the left have made. She talks about her faith. It’s a very good interview. She has written a book.

Sorry for any typos, and lack of syntax. I’m typing with my thumb on my phone. 😗

It’s interesting how Hillary and her supporters. And many politicians. Oh hell the worm turns. Which is exactly what Hillary Clinton is, a worm. For at least half a century detente has been seen as a good thing by most politicians and Americans. But now, when it is advantageous to the Democrats to save face, they set up a new boogie man. Guess who it is Russia!Traditionally, it has been the Democrats who were prone to not take a hard line on Russia. But now and at election time sadly we’re supposed to pay Russians! It’s our patriotic duty to hate Russians ... and lovee the cia!!! WTF. But Hillary says... oh is it Hillary? Oh yes it is. It’s Hillary. Hillary says, and of course she is very objective here. She just lost the election but no matter. She can still remain objective about all of this. She wouldn’t be blaming the Russians to excuse her own failure would she? That would just be too coincidental too convenient. Take her word for it. You’re w her. The embattled and bitter Hillary Clinton. Thats a ship I definitely don’t want to go down with. I never was on that bandwagon. And I am not now.

From the Hills and valleys mountains rivers and streams...A place called Appahchia (pronounced AppaLATCHia)

https://youtu.be/P0725bnDyJ0

*********

Electronic voting in the US is a huge problem.

#1. Both parties have hacked voting computers. The DNC is famous or infamous for Voter fraud.

#2. They bus people to several locations to vote. Remember the irregularities in Arizona during the primary? These people kNo there is a pot of gold at the end of anrainbow. Do you think a little thing like fraud is going to stop them?

#3. Diebold has been kicked out of Europe.

https://columbusfreepress.com/article/diebold-indicted-its-spectre-still-haunts-ohio-elections

https://youtu.be/NFpLKc6S_-o

https://youtu.be/jH30e7YIKeQ

https://youtu.be/BNZTJeu9ddw

https://youtu.be/u4FPuLNjvAc. Fox

https://youtu.be/MoGeDGHmwJU

https://youtu.be/OvF213popIA. Flipped

https://youtu.be/_IAJ5fAm3Cs. Investigators

https://youtu.be/ibK4de85IKw. Calling Hillary Cunton

https://youtu.be/mEp0kUzmLns. 56 Diebold machines

https://youtu.be/VNzrJWIX5Fw

https://youtu.be/cy1IlAXeV30

Ron Paul.

https://youtu.be/Cx5YyiyWOH4

Princeton Diebold Study

https://youtu.be/hDc8PVCvfKs

Steallary Clinton