#(just to avoid ruining the tumblr fandom experience for others with my 'negativity')

[help-me-find-a-name-please-lol]

fuck it I'm going to be controversial and just say it:

I'm glad the character of Aaron Hotchner was spared from the terrible fucking writing of late-season Criminal minds.

I did a #NoHotchNoWatch at the time (which was simply because the show held no interest for me otherwise - small exception Reid but only in relation to his dynamic with Hotch). Eventually decided to give the rest of the show a go since I got enough emotional distance from the loss of my perfect husband my favourite character and blah blah "violence" in the workplace is bad and maybe the show didn't deserve a boycott I guess ... (and it's now available as a brainless streaming choice).

So that means I am only just now discovering exactly how bad the writing got. And DAMN.

I mean I saw it going downhill (even more so from the usual "suspension of disbelief" element that is required) from about season 9, but I had No. Idea.

It's like the show hired all the writers that even Supernatural would have rejected!

So yeah "violence" in the workplace is bad but so is incompetence, and from personal experience I feel like sometimes the people left dealing with it deserve some kind of mental health compensation from the strain it takes. Except the cast members who apparently didn't care.

That is all.

[theroseyhues]

Tags, Why and how they are used.

(A Fandom PSA)

Alright, I have something to talk about. Tags. Tumblr tags are a way people can filter what they see. This means they can choose what to see and also what not to see. We all use them, and as social media users, we must properly tag things. I am sending this out to particularly the QSMP fandom since it is my current main fandom but this is the same across the site.

(This post was something I've been meaning to make since some of the issues with a certain former qsmp cc. That topic was incredibly triggering for many including myself and I was very discouraged by the lack of proper tagging over the situation. This is also a sort of guide for any new community members, especially with the new member set to arrive this Saturday and the fact that many qsmp admins are now on Tumblr and understandably may not want to see everything on here. I hope this will also serve as a reminder to anyone who sometimes forgets to properly tag. Please take care of yourselves and others as always <3)

What are tags and what are they used for? (the basics)

Tags are a feature on Tumblr and other forms of social media to distinguish between types of content. By many they are also used to hide certain triggering topics with tags such as "tw blood".

How can you block tags? Why?

blocking tags hides any posts labeled with that tag and you can block it by going to the main Tumblr settings and adding it to the "blocked tags list". You can block any topics you find triggering or that damage your experience on the platform. For example, I have certain blocked tags such as "Fandom crit", "NSFW", "/neg", and "Qsmp neg". I have blocked these tags and others for the simple reason that I find the posts labeled with these tags make me upset and can ruin my experience in the fandom or while watching content. Doing this is not avoiding a topic, it is not being "closed-minded", it is simply improving your mental health by choosing what you are exposed to.

The Issue.

Unfortunately, tags have to be added by the post creator to be blocked and so there becomes an issue when people do not properly label posts. Luckily this can be easily fixed if you as a poster simply always properly tag your posts. So please, tag your posts properly. Tag the trigger warnings, tag the tone indicators, tag at the very least the main topic. And please, never tag something as a different topic. The tags are here to help us be organized and stay safe, thank you.

Some tips!

Often people will use tags that are trending to spread their content. This is a bad idea and will most often just get them banned but to prevent seeing some of it I recommended blocking one of the common trending tags (one use don't follow). Also if you see something blatantly miss tagged feel free to block and or report the person (especially for anything nsfw as they often use this technique)

Conclusion

Please properly tag things, it helps everyone stay safe on this platform and irl. If you have topics you don't want to see please block them for your own mental health.

[gifsbysimplysonia]

@jillybean1217 and I are super amused that we made it to a fan account 😁

Personal waffling about fandom behind the cut

Both the bestie and I are in our 40s. She hasn't been chronically online like I have been since my 20s. So I have been dragged from bandom to fandom, pro wrestling to A7X to drag ... about being too old to be around.

I have never understood what it is people think happen to a person as they get older. Do the kids think that once we biologically hit a certain age that our hearts and personalities deactivate so we aren't supposed to enjoy fandom or our interests anymore?

Does this happen to men, too? I guess it does cuz my ex had an uncle who was single and into wrestling and collected action figures and his own family made fun of him. Sigh.

I'm older now, I've been through more, and on the off chance any fellow older fans see this (cuz I know we are a small sect here on Tumblr lol), please know you're valid. And if you want to be seen, you deserve to be seen AND celebrated! I wish that for you, as well as people to celebrate you and the things that make you happy.

I often wish online fandom was more encouraging and supportive; been in that boat for literally decades. But since I have yet to see that happen, I just curate my own experience to be that way as much as possible. Never be afraid to do that for yourself if you find that something that once brought you joy is no longer doing so. Don't let other negative people or opinions ruin what brings you joy...use MUTE, UNFOLLOW or BLOCK as you need to.

Life is TOO DAMN SHORT. I know it doesn't feel that way at all in your 20s, but it is so as you get older and things change, it's OK for your behavior to change and become as protective as it needs to be in order to continue to keep that thing which brings you joy joyful.

It's 3am so if none of this made sense? But I hope it did, to at least one person. Please don't let others' weird behavior ruin your own experience. The bestie has avoided that by not being involved in online fandom, and I've been so envious of her at various times. Since I wanna be online, though, I just have to be more diligent about my experience

If you're struggling in the fandom space, I hope that you give yourself permission to take action and to ensure that it's a joyful space for you.

[cupcraft]

Hello New Twitter Users coming to mcytblr: Here's some tips I have for some basic tumblr etiquette things to educate you. Other mutuals and users please reblog with additions and correct me on things (these are from my experience). I am very lazy and also not good at making well organized posts. (and if you're on IOS get that bug fix for the tag ban!).

1. Filter out tags you don't want to see. You curate your on experience on here. And if you still see it just block or don't follow the person. Some people don't tag things at all, and that's fine, some blogs like myself tag a shit ton, and that's also fine.

2. People liveblog on here. It may clutter your dash. If you don't like it, or don't want spoilers, again block the tag or don't follow livebloggers.

3. We don't trend "neg" on here. We tag neg, for tone indicators/people that block those tags. You might also find that some the things neg was trended over isn't usually discussed here unless it is serious incidents, or to discuss it respectfully (at least in my experience). Sometimes, you may see things critiquing twitter's response to situations.

4. There is no fame, no clout, no check mark. Yeah, i mean people are aware of the "big blogs" in the fandom to some extent, but they aren't really given big blog treatment as it's kind of weird. Any excitement you see is likely just because someone likes that blog they follow or is their mutual. Don't bring celebritism here...we don't like that. In fact most of the time you'll never know who is a "big blog" anyway. Someone can have banger posts that succeed and have 400 followers, someone can get small note posts and be a big blog.

5. Don't repost art. Reblog art. Reblog fanfiction (unless you do a rec list), reblog everything really. Likes don't do anything, and searchability is based on reblogs I believe.

6. Back to tags, learn about what tags are. I think it's the first 6 that contribute to searchability(? fact check me?). It's good to do tw tags, or crit/neg tags for people that block those things. Also people communicate in the tags, often reblogging the same post over and over with <- Prev [insert message] to communicate.

7. Ask etiquette: be polite. If you send hate what will happen is you'll either get roasted by op, or just blocked. It's not really worth it.

8. DM etiquette. Don't be weird, always check DNI lists first, again if you are weird you'll just really be blocked.

9. BACK TO TAGS THIS IS IMPORTANT! Do not DO NOT censor tags like do not say t0mm31nn1t to avoid saying tommyinnit. This actively is harmful. People BLOCK tags they don't want to see, and censoring it will actively ruin this process. Again, censoring does not help you if you're worried about trending.

10. Tumblr's search feature sucks. I'm sorry...

11. you may find some of our DSMP lore opinions are a lot different than general twitter's. Personally i've seen a lot of wildly different lore takes there than here. Just warning you all.

12. Don't get annoyed if your followers "spam like or reblog". It's quite normal, especially for those online and actively refreshing.

13. As much as we enjoy cc's learning about tumblr, we don't want cc's to treat it like twitter. We want it to stay chill and sort of reserved and private. Do not try to get all your cc's to come over here.

14. Tumblr is to build community not followers.

Please again add on, correct, send me straight to the plinko. I can't think of any more right now I am very tired.

[muthaz-rapapa]

I don't deal directly with fandom often because from experience, they always greatly disappoint more than not. And sadly, I always knew CCS would never be an exception to that, no matter how much I wished it was so I did my best to avoid it. Stay in my own lane, mind my own business.

But there are several things that I can't be complacent with keeping silent on anymore, especially when it comes to certain treatment towards other fans and even the authors themselves.

First of all, CCS and Clear Card are CLAMP's work, not anyone else's. It was their decision to write and illustrate the story they want to tell. As such, their biggest and foremost priority as authors is to themselves. To fulfill their own wish. To expand, convey and preserve the integrity of their message through the narrative they chose.

So whether one or a thousand fans wanted it or not, it's ultimately irrelevant to CLAMP.

They are in no way obligated to listen to anyone's demands on how to write and publish their works, least of all disconcerted readers who don't want to accept them in the first place. CLAMP isn't forcing you to read if you don't like it. They invite people to come enjoy the worlds they created but never have they dictated you should stay if you're not comfortable there.

It is childish for you to blame the author(s) for your own discontent. They are writers with their own ideas, not your mommies.

Secondly, CLAMP is a world-renowned mangaka group with an incredibly large and loyal following and 25+ years of continued success. Sales (and a few negative opinions) are at the bottom of their worries because their fame is established firmly enough to give them that security (so they can focus more on bringing interesting narratives) and there will surely always be someone out there who's eager to read their work.

That's the type of audience that writers truly cherish the most. The ones willing and capable of putting in the effort to understand them through the stories. And the more you invest your attention into it, the more wholly you appreciate and respect their work, the more it'll please the authors, letting them know they didn't publish their stories in vain.

CCS and Clear Card were made for those who connect and resonate deeply with its themes and central topics. They were written for those who believe in its messages. It is those readers who will mean infinitely more to CLAMP than some nobodies who only treat these titles as a superficial indulgences.

Lastly, I know how difficult it is to find decency on the internet which is why I never delude myself into expecting it. Considering that probably 80-90% of fandoms are toxic wastelands severely lacking in intelligence for various reasons, that was the right call.

Don't engage with people who are intent on misunderstanding you, who can't/refuse to set aside their prejudices to try and comprehend your perspective, who seek satisfaction in hurting you (intentionally or not) for your interests in a piece of fiction. If you can't find a safe space anywhere, make your own and cut off/block those who threaten that.

Also, let anyone who approaches you (whether it be on your tumblr blog, twitter account or w/e) know that just because they have an opinion, doesn't mean they're welcome to leave it on YOUR personal space if you never asked for them to share it.

If your blog/social account is used for the purpose of expressing love and appreciation for something and you are truly not harming anyone while doing so, then treat it as if it were your own home. If someone comes in with their head high up their own ass and tracking mud all over your floors, then KICK them out with zero remorse.

Don't be scared to protect and reinforce what's important to you... but also don't go courting hate elsewhere and ruining the experience for others either as some misguided crusade.

Don't be an utter asshole and keep your disgusting, dirty shit thoughts in your own goddamn toilet.

No one asked for them and we already have more than an unnecessary amount of those everywhere. Haters are not special and never will be. They and the negativity they bring ultimately do not matter to anything or anyone. Any time, every time, ALL the time. If you have to fucking smack them across the face to get that through, then DO IT.

And this doesn't go for just the CCS fandom but for other fandoms as well.

I am here to enjoy and have fun with what I love. I don't have to answer or cater to anyone I don't want to.

[esther-dot]

thimble deleted her tumblr because people were vague blogging about her? 🤬 who were those ppl i just want to talk 🔪

(prev post) I don’t know exactly what led her to deactivate, but I do know people did and it was upsetting. Makes me very sad we ruined what even D&D couldn’t. 💔

@ my other anon talking about this, I’m not comfortable posting your ask publicly, but if you want to DM me you can. All I’ll say here is that you have to decide not to care what other people think. Your partner/family/friends, they matter, but randos online, their opinion should mean nothing to you. If you like a ship, curate your fandom experience to indulge. If you hate a ship, filter and block to avoid. Do this within our corner of the fandom too. If a Jonsa is making you uncomfortable or you hate their takes, don’t engage with their content and if necessary, block them. In the Jonsa fandom there are fanon shippers (people who didn’t expect or want it to be canon), canon shippers (who never wanted it in the show but expect it in the books), and show shippers (who may never read the books but wanted it for the show), and every conceivable mishmash of the above. As a result, all of us have experienced people telling us we were wrong, and we either need to accept our different viewpoints and enjoy the commonalities, or just leave each other alone. We can’t control what the next person does, but we have tools we can use to make our fandom experience as pleasant as possible and we all should do so.

I am sorry you had a negative experience in the fandom, and I hope we all do better moving forward. 💗

[mc-lukanette]

I've seen people complain that salters 'ruined the reputation of lukanette', and turned it into nothing more than a spite ship, and I'd like to know what you think of this? Personally, I can't really say that I agree, but I also don't actively look for lukanette content unless it's from you, and since you're the biggest lukanette shipper I know, I thought you might perhaps know where this whole idea came from, or might have an opinion on it.

Firstly, aww, that’s so sweet that you go to me for your prime Lukanette content! Thank you!

As for the question itself, the way I look at it is like... good riddance?

That might not seem to make sense, but my basic point is that people who say that most likely didn’t ship Lukanette in the first place. It’s easy to bash the “sub-ship” of a show because the main one exists, so you’ll hear substandard arguments all the time like, “it’s not endgame so you shouldn’t ship it,” “you just don’t get the show,” and of course, “you just like Lukanette to spite the love square.”

Attacking the fans of something to attack a show/ship is the “easy” way out while simultaneously being the laziest. If those people want to let others dictate their opinion on a ship/show/whatever when the people who follow said thing have literally nothing to do with it in terms of how it plays in canon, that’s their problem and I’m personally glad not to have them around, y’know? Good and bad fans exist for basically everything, and allowing a side to change one’s opinion in that way isn’t the way to go.

I could easily list a bunch of examples of bad experiences I’ve seen Lukanette shippers have with love square shippers, but I don’t, and I don’t judge the love square based on my opinion of Lukanette (I also stay in my lane by not crosstagging but that’s a different topic altogether).

Yes, I don’t like the love square. Yes, I wish Lukanette were endgame instead. Yes, some of my fics will contain varying amounts of salt depending on my mood (though I keep it pretty sugary on mc-lukanette for the most part, and one of my No Context November posts even has Chat Noir being best buds with Ladybug and encouraging her relationship with Luka), and sometimes my ideas involve Adrien and Marinette breaking up in some way (whether it was on friendly terms or not is up in the air; depends on what I can get out of the idea).

All of those factors together does not mean that I ship Lukanette for the sake of spiting anyone or any ship. I just adore Lukanette and it’s obviously going to squeeze its way into whatever I write because why would I not put it into everything???

What I think happens is that people see Lukanette fics having salt about Adrien/the love square and then make a connection where there isn’t one, believing that Lukanette shippers only ship it because they’re salty about the love square.

That is flat-out not true. There are multiple Lukanette shippers who enjoy both Lukanette and the love square at the same time, then fell off of the love square when it stopped working for them.

There’s an inherent bias that comes from disliking something. Presuming these people who say “salters ruined Lukanette” never shipped it in the first place, they’d be more likely to see other people talk about how Lukanette shippers did x/y/z and then just roll their eyes like, “of course they did.” If they did ship it and then fell off, it was just a matter of influence they chose to participate in, because the one meant to curate their experience is them, and as this very lovely and polite anon points out (as they don’t know what the fuss is about with “salters ruining Lukanette” because they’re not seeing it), exposure to things one doesn’t like about a fandom won’t happen if precautionary measures are taken, and the way people absorb certain shows/ships happens to cause them to see content that gives the a particular viewpoint.

But one they see that content, it is their choice to let it seep in and change their opinion. I, for example, take measures myself (more because I want to avoid particular fics or people writing Luka in specific ways) and I basically never see anything I don’t like. On the off chance I do, it’s my fault because I didn’t take proper steps, but I’m also not going to use whatever I saw as a reason to generalize and say that everyone is like that. I just say it’s this-or-that person and I move on because I think it’s incredibly rude to see a few people (regardless of how “loud” they are and how much of a fuss they’re making) and go, “okay, it’s ruined for me.”

(Side note too that there are popular salt fics out there that happen to be Lukanette endgame, and those AUs typically have tags that can be blocked; I find it really weird that people get on the case of “salty” people - who are usually generalized for “not seeing the good in things” - for complaining/”ruining” something when they themselves are being salty at the salters).

Something I think people miss when equating Lukanette with salt is that the reason Lukanette is often endgame in salt fics is that Luka makes Marinette happy; he is her “light in the darkness,” as it were, and apologized the moment he thought he’d offended her. Salt fics touch on the fact that Marinette gets hammered a lot by the show, but Luka doesn’t have that negative effect on her, being so far removed from the overwhelming dumpster fire that gets thrown at Marinette that he can just be the source of comfort that she needs.

Calling Lukanette a “spite ship” is also laughable when Lukanette shippers that I’ve known/seen have perfectly understandable reasons for shipping it, and that’s not what a spite ship entails. Salters didn’t “turn” Lukanette into anything, and suggesting such things feels more like a false attack to scare those people into stopping whatever they’re doing just because the person “attacking” personally dislikes it.

I can write Lukanette whether I’m salting about Adrien or not, regardless of if he’s there, and any ship I give to Adrien is not to keep him away from Marinette; I ship ships because I think the characters making up that ship have a genuinely good connection.

Could there be a discussion of why whatever% of salt fics end in Lukanette endgame? Of course, and maybe it really does come down to the fact that Lukanette shippers happen to see the show in a different/more critical way and want to get their frustrations out by writing fanfiction that flips the treatment of Marinette on its head.

But... So what?

Fact of the matter is, Lukanette is a tiny minority of the fandom (if you go by AO3 statistics, there are like 1000 Lukanette fics - excluding the love square tag - and 20000 love square fics; if you go by the amount of people following the tags on Tumblr, Lukanette is a lot closer, but still), and I think it’s really silly to say it’s ruined because x amount of people (who definitely do not represent the entire Lukanette fandom; no one does) decided to make it endgame in a salt fic or said somewhere that they felt it was better than the love square.

[juleswritesthis]

The following are just my thoughts on certain fandom behavior. Something that’s been bothering me for a while that I want to document...

Sometimes fandoms (or a certain large/loud group within the fandom) confuse the heck out of me.

The writers of the show are telling us this is how it is, these are the characters they are creating. But then fans are like nope it has to be this way instead, the characters have to be this way and if not then we are going to obnoxiosuly complain and bully anyone that has to do with the show (whether it’s the writers, actors, crew members or even reporters writing articles based on the interviews). Really?

Everyone is free to ship whatever with whomever but at the end of the day, the writers write the show & thus determine the choices the characters make, not the fandom. It’s the writers creation, their vision not the fandom. That’s what fanfic is for.

I know it’s usually certain parts of fandom but man it makes it difficult to enjoy the entire experience of a show beyond the 40 min story. I find myself forced to avoid any BTS or even cast interviews, to shield myself from the vitriol of one group.

Right now this is a response to one particular show but man is this type of fandom response prevalent in other shows too. I get being disappointed in plots, character choices, or specific storylines (or lack of storylines). But constant loud protest, bullying and negative responses, because you want something to happen that the writers have made clear won’t, just sours the entire experience for everyone involved. I wish people would realize that and do better.

(This is separate than critiquing a story or plot or just quality of the show. But if your biggest complaint is a ship you want to happen is not happening and your response is to fill Twitter, tumblr or whatever social medium with angry responses then that becomes a big problem for everyone involved and ruins the experience for all).

[toukatan]

Hey Benita, I wanted to say I admire how positive and happy you always are on here. It makes fandom such a fun place to be and such a feel good experience. If you don’t mind me asking, how do you avoid ship wars and character hate that brings the mood down bc that always ruins the experience for me

hiya anonie! awee anonie this means so much to me. no honestly it really does and i hope you know how much i appreciate and adore you. i’m glad this little community and i are able to make your stay within the fandom enjoyable and fun, its how we all should feel when adoring a series together ☺️💗

ah as for wars and character hate— well for me it’s not that i avoid it, it’s just i don’t really care too much for it? it’s hard to explain like how i go about spoiler free when all that chaos was going on but yeah it’s just how i am when it comes to fandom things— i enjoy the series as is and just go about my day. it’s hard to explain but i hope you get what i mean. it’s just how my mind is even in real life with particular situations i’m a calm and collected person (unless something exciting happens and im wilding whdjhwjs) so it’s just how i am

i’ve given others a hand on this and guess you could avoid seeing these things by simply scrolling past posts and such, avoid certain platforms, not going through tags and not reading into negativity especially when you’re in a rather good mood. if you do like discussing series things with others i think one on one conversations are best and then slowly open up to others for opinions and such mhm or with safe spaces!

i’d happily talk to anonie personally if you’d like though tumblr sometimes is broken but i’d be more than happy to help you out!

[itsallavengers]

I'd appreciate it if you and your followers could stop bullying people who don't like tony stark. We just have a different opinion than you and we just talk to each other about it, but you guys tend you hijack the posts to insult us and it's not really a nice thing to do. So if you could leave us alone, we can go on about our business and they'll be no more arguments. Thank you! 😊😊

This is without doubt the funniest ask I’ve ever received, are you for real? Hate whatever character you fucking like, I don’t care. I’ll avoid you, yeah, I’ll probably shade your community when I’m feeling salty- but I have no reason to interact with you, and 90% of the fandom doesn’t either. Yeah there are some hotshots who will try argue with you- and you know what, I wouldn’t blame them. I fully understand that if I write a negative post about a character, that people who love said character are going to be hurt by it and want to argue my points. I’m up for that. And I try to keep any of my negativity to a minimum, because I am aware of how demoralising it is to see your favourite character dragged through the dirt. So when you have an entire community of people, of blogs, all dedicated to posting and spreading hatred for that character? Who seem to want to have a negative impact on the fandom, who want to cause drama, who write nasty comments in reblogs of harmlessly positive posts just because they think they’re Cool And Woke?? It just ruins everyone’s experience. It’s not just Tony either. it’s hate blogs in general (although Tony does have by far the most deciated anti-fans lol). Why do it? Why be rude, and mean, and bring other people down? I hold my tongue when I disagree with posts, because I’m a decent person. I know that I may have a bias. I know that these people put a lot of their happiness into characters, and I have no desire to ruin that or spoil it. But you and your little squad of annoyingly persistent antis, seem to not share that sentiment. Don’t you dare call us the bullys and the ones who are hijacking posts/ not being nice. You’ve been at this shit for years. About a year ago I found that one of my fics had been screenshotted, reposted on tumblr and publicly laughed at because it was pro-tony. They called it shit, they called me useless, they called me a terrible writer- they said all sorts of horrible things. Their other anti-tony followers sent me anons telling me to delete all my works, that I deserved the hate because I was a Tony Stan. For me, who was quite heavily depressed at the time and using writing as a major coping mechanism, it made me feel absolutely gutted. 

So don’t fucking call me the nasty one. I’m fucking defensive and I’m fucking angry, and when people try and pull shit like that, I don’t take it lying down. 

[iamanartichoke]

All the wank over the past couple of days has made me realize that a lot of us, here on Tumblr, could probably use a refresher in what constitutes a logical fallacy, if we are going to engage in discussion, discourse, or basic conversation with another human being. So, here are some of the most prevalent fallacies I’ve seen circulating these past couple of days, along with helpful examples. 

** Please note that I am providing these examples without subjective commentary about either side of the Ragnarok argument. Do with these what you will. 

1. Ad Hominem: Literally against the man. This is a fallacy which occurs when you attack your opponent’s person rather than their argument. This seems to be a favorite among many people on tumblr. 

Example of an Ad Hominem fallacy in action:  

Person 1: I don’t think Taika Waititi did Loki justice in Thor Ragnarok.  Person 2: You are a moron and you should feel bad. 

Example of what you can say to avoid this fallacy: 

Person 1: I don’t think Taika Waititi did Loki justice in Thor Ragnarok.  Person 2: I can see why you think that, but if you look at it from this point of view, it’s actually in Loki’s character to do A, B, or C. 

2. Slippery Slope. This is a type of reasoning which oversimplifies the idea that every action has a consequence and follows it to the absolute worst possible conclusion or outcome that could occur. 

Example of a Slippery Slope fallacy in action:  

Person 1: If you don’t like hearing XYZ about Thor Ragnarok, you should just block people who post it.  Person 2: If I block people who post XYZ about Thor Ragnarok, it’s like I’m saying it’s okay for them to have XYZ opinion, and that I condone it, and it’s chasing me off of my own tumblr and my own posts, and it’s like saying I don’t have freedom of speech or choice and I don’t have a right to not see things on my tumblr that will make me feel bad and my tumblr experience will be ruined and I’ll look bad to my friends and the world will end. 

Example of what you can say to avoid this fallacy: 

Person 1: If you don’t like hearing XYZ about Thor Ragnarok, you should just block people who post it.  Person 2: Oh, that’s a good idea, thanks. 

3. Circular Argument: This occurs when a person is just repeating their same argument over and over again. Kind of self-explanatory. 

Example of a Circular Argument fallacy in action:

Person 1: Tom Hiddleston said Taika Waititi told him that he wasn’t going to change Loki, therefore all Ragnarok dissenters’ arguments are invalid.  Person 2: What Tom actually said was XYZ. Person 1: Okay, but Tom Hiddleston said Taika Waititi told him that he wasn’t going to change Loki, are you really going to ignore the words from Tom’s own mouth?  Person 2: Look at Loki’s behavior in this instance from Ragnarok vs. this other instance from The Dark World. Here’s how they’re different.  Person 1: Whatever, Tom Hiddleston said Taika Waititi told him ... 

Example of what you can say to avoid this fallacy: 

Person 1: Tom Hiddleston said Taika Waititi told him that he wasn’t going to change Loki, therefore all Ragnarok dissenters’ arguments are invalid. Person 2: What Tom actually said was XYZ. Person 1: Okay, well, I can see how that context might change things, but I still think that Loki was in-character and that his arc makes sense.  Person 2: That’s fair, I just disagree with you.  Person 1: That’s fair. 

4. Hasty Generalization: This is when a blanket statement or judgment is passed on a person’s argument without adequate evidence to support it. 

Example of a Hasty Generalization fallacy in action:

Person 1: All Loki stans hate Thor Ragnarok.  Person 2: All Loki stans hate Taika Waititi.  Person 3: All Loki stans just want to bang Tom Hiddleston. 

Example of what you can say to avoid this fallacy: 

I don’t have any. Don’t generalize. 

5. Appeal to Hypocrisy: This fallacy means that instead of focusing on the argument, a dissenter will instead distract the point to their opponent’s actions to help prove their point. 

Person 1: You commented on my post with a different opinion, now I’m going to tell all my friends to harass and report you. Person 2: Hey, that’s bullying and it’s not cool. People can express different opinions.  Person 1: Well, look at you coming on my post to threaten me and bully me! I’m just posting my own different opinion, which you said I could do! 

Bonus: Hate Speech. “Hate speech is speech that offends, threatens, or insults groups, based on race, color, religion, national origin, sexual orientation, disability, or other traits.” (via the American Bar Association) (emphasis mine) 

Example of hate speech in action:

Person 1: Taika Waititi is just a [insert slur here] who did a shitty job with Thor Ragnarok.

Example of what you can say to avoid being the kind of person who uses hate speech:

Person 1: Taika Waititi shit on previous Thor canon when he decided to make Ragnarok a comedy. 

** This one seems to need a bit of explanation. The difference between hate speech and criticism here is that One attacks Taika’s person, which has nothing to do with his job as a director, while the other attacks his actions. It is negative, but it is not hate speech. 

Just a note that labeling anything even slightly negative or critical as “hate speech” just makes the term meaningless and detracts from instances of real hate speech, which undermines those who are oppressed and discriminated against due to their race, religion, sexual orientation, whatever. 

I hope this guide will prove helpful to your future fandom endeavors. 

[thehollowprince]

Hey, it’s the “coding” anon here and honestly that answer to my question was excellent and the exact reason I come to your blog. I would absolutely love to hear you go on about the fetishization of m/m relationships!

This has been sitting in my inbox for over a week, and I want to apologize. I'm sorry for taking so long to get to this one, but I'm overworked at the moment. I've been pulling 60+ hour work weeks, by myself and I haven't had off since the first of December, so I'm a little tired. But I'm here and I'm ready to murder this bitch of a subject.

For starters, and for context, in case anyone who sees this doesn't follow my blog or, if you do and don't really pay attention, I am a gay man, so a lot of this comes from my own personal experience.

Now, onward my fandom soldiers.

M|M Fetishization & Objectification

I've only been super active within fandom spaces for the last couple of years. Before that, I just scrolled through Tumblr and reblogged gifsets and fluffy headcanons and whatnot, but even then I noticed a trend in fandoms that made me uncomfortable. That trend was the overabundance of gay men (chatacters) in fandom works, especially when there either weren't any gay men in that show or book or whatever.

I'm not at all saying we need less of that. I want and need more gay characters in the things I watch and read. That's actually one of the criteria I look for before I start a new show, or a book series or comics. I want to see myself represented in the media I consume, even if it is only this one tiny piece of who I am. But the problem for me arose when I saw all these fan works and headcanons and gifsets and thesis length metas about gay or bi male characters that were neither of those things in their original source material.

The biggest examples of this occured in fairly popular shows that I loved at one point, but do to a combination of bad writing and then the horrible fandom, drove me to actively dislike and avoid them. And that's always a sad thing, when you end up losing the love you had for something because others just won't let you enjoy it as it is.

Those two examples are Teen Wolf and Supernatural.

For years I watched people go on and on and on and on about Stiles Stilinski and Dean Winchester and how they were bisexual and so on and so forth.

There's nothing wrong with headcanoning a character as gay or bisexual, especially when those characters are severely lacking on screen and on paper. The problem arose when the fandom at large started to ignore the ACTUAL gay or bisexual characters that are in these shows and focus solely on their headcanons as the only representation in the show.

To start with Teen Wolf, we had, in the first season, an openly gay character that everybody in the school loved, that being Danny Mahealani. This character was introduced as gay from the very start, but oddly enough, there is almost no large fandom meta or fics or anything about him. In fact, a lot of his traits and qualities ended up transferred to Stiles, such as his intelligence and overall popularity. Hell, even Danny's attraction to Derek was stolen and transferred to him. These aren't things that Stiles is overall known for in the actual canon. He's clumsy and socially awkward and on the outskirts of the school like Scott (the main character) and has been obsessed (to the point of being considered a stalker) with one girl since elementary school, but somehow, in fandom, Stiles is suddenly the genius polyglot queer with severe depression who has a crush on the broody muscular werewolf who just wants somebody to love him.

Fandom created this portrayal of the character that didn't exist anywhere in the fandom except for his appearance. The reason I saw behind this was twofold. 1: fangirls (fandom is mostly female) want to see two "hot" guys kiss and get it on because they get off to it, much in the same way that straight men get off to lesbian porn. 2: Stiles (or any of these headcanoned characters) becomes a sort of self insert.

What I mean by that second one is that women and girls find a male character that's not "too masculine", usually kind of gangly or skinny, somewhat on the effeminate side. Someone that they can project their ideas and insecurities and so forth onto so that they can that pursue that relationship with the hunky manly man that they want to bang.

You may be asking yourself, "Why don't they just use one of the female characters as a self insert?" and I'm here to tell you that I have neither the time nor the experience to go into detail about internalized misogyny and how effects the way women do almost everything, even watching and interpreting their media.

But the reason they chose the male character is that, years ago, during the dark days of FF.net there was a lot of self insert OCs that infiltrated almost every level of fanfiction. Which caused the fandom gatekeepers to rear out of their hibernation and just shame anyone who tried to introduce an Original Character to this already beautiful world and ruin it with their lusts. Thus the OCs slowly disappeared and identifying with the male sidekick was born. And this is generally where we get the whole "my smol gay son!" bullshit. (side note: please keep in mind that 75% of shows are male characters and their problems, which is another cause for female fans to identify solely with men.)

So, for years, I watched Danny, and then his boyfriend Ethan, being shoved aside in fandom spaces so that the fans could focus Sterek (Stiles and Derek) despite the fact that both characters were stared to be heterosexual and that, on screen, they expressed nothing but mutual dislike for one another, if not outright hatred. This got so bad that Sterek, the crack ship whose members had no romantic or sexual interactions whatsoever, managed to beat (by a very large margin) actual gay ships from both this show and others in a fan poll. It got even worse when the character of Danny was written off the show (with no explanation) and we were introduced to the character of Mason.

Mason Hewitt was everything that fandom!Stiles was. He was smart and funny and openly gay and crushing on a hot werewolf. He even did the research that the fandom loved to attribute to Stiles, literally everything that the fandom had Stiles doing in fanon, but somehow the love for him (Mason) wasn't that big of a note in the fandom. I mean, Mason was even a major plot point of season five and the pack's mission to stop the Beast, but i heard nothing but cricket chirps from the fandom.

You'd think that after Stiles was written out of the show for the last season that maybe Mason will get some love now, right?

Wrong!

I didn't think it was possible to get any worse, but the fandom proved me wrong. Because instead of focusing all their pent up energy on Mason and his boyfriend, Corey, who had a number of cute moments in that final season, these fans focused on another crack ship that had no basis anywhere except in their fantasies. That ship being Thiam, which is based, once again, around two characters who actively dislike, if not outright hate, each other and even physically assault one another. But no, that apparently is a display of affection by someone who is emotionally stunted and just needs love to blossom and be his true self.

You notice how often the fetishization of homosexuality (even if only imagined) intersects with woobification?

You'll notice, if you look at Danny and Mason, that they're both POC, with Danny being brown (Hawai'ian) and Mason being black. Now, as I've said before on this blog multiple times, I am the Whittest White Man to ever White, so I don't have any qualifications to talk about fandom racism, so I'm just going to leave that little nugget there for you to think about and interpret how you will.

Moving on to Supernatural...

Before we start with this one, understand that I have not watched this show outside of an episode here and there since season eight, because I realized that no, this show wasn't going to get any better, so if any of this is contradictory to what has happened over the past six seasons (god, this show needs to die!) I do apologize.

Dean Winchester... I never really liked this character, especially as the show went on and I started to actively dislike and then, hate him. So it was annoying not being able to go into any aspect of the Supernatural fandom without coming across a post about Dean and his issues or his Bi sexiness or how his brother was mean to him.

Also, people, understand that this wasn't a new revelation for me. My dislike for Dean and the fandom's obsession with making him bisexual just so they could hook him up with Cas wasn't an overnight decision. I was there...

I was there at the Beginning, when this show first aired, when the ONLY constant characters on this show were Sam and Dean. I endured the hellfire that was Wincest and its infection of almost the entire fandom. Like, that right there, that was one of the most extreme cases of m|m fetishization I've ever seen, because the fandom needed to get off to two guys being together so badly that they turned to actual brothers for want of any other male character.

That's why Destiel immediately became so popular, because here was another guy that we saw with semi regularity that wasn't rated to the Winchesters, obviously they were meant to ship them.

Now, you may be asking yourself, "I thought this bitch was going to talk about gay fetishization, not his dislike for one character?" to which I'll just say I very easily go off tangent. But all of that is relevant because, come one of these later seasons, there was a scene where Dean was at a bar and the (male) bartender hit on him, and he didn't react negatively or homophobic.

Oh, my God, I watched my dash and the tags explode in post after post, meta after meta, about how Bi Dean was canon confirmed! Now he and Cas will HAVE to be together, because its canon that Dean likes guys. and Cas is an angel, who doesn't follow human sexual limitations, and... blah, blah, blah.

Cut to a few years later, and we're introduced to a character named Max Banes, a witch and hunter, who is openly gay and flirts with Sam in his first appearance. Where were all of his metas and fanfics and headcanons? Granted, he only appeared in two episodes, but I have watched people in this and other fandoms build mountains our of molehills, going on and on about how two male characters weren't actually straight and how they were destined to be together because the once wore similar style shirts a couple of seasons apart, or because of a carnation in a jacket pocket that signified love via the Victorian flower code (or something like that), or how the wallpaper of that room they shared a scene in was a subtle clue to their true desire for each other, etc.

And I'm not exaggerating there, those are actual examples I've seen in fandoms over the years.

But back to Max, why is it that he was left along the wayside, despite fitting most of the criteria that fandoms love in their m|m ships while Dean had entire thesis level posts about that time he shared a glance with Castiel or he let a bartender hit on him and not get upset?

And its not just these two shows, not by a long shot. If you were to go into literally any fandom of a certain size or bigger, you will come across fans putting two straight characters together because of "the chemistry" they have. Even if those characters are confirmed to be straight - especially if those characters are confirmed to be straight. Because when these loud fans don't get their crack ship that they rub one out to, they scream queerbaiting and homophobia and oppression, harassing the actors and producers and directors and writers.

Here are some others that just pop to the front of my mind...

Asher Millstone from How To Get Away With Murder (saw him shipped with Connor a lot, despite Connor's actual boyfriend)

Sherlock Holmes and John Watson from BBC's Sherlock

Tony Stark from Marvel comics (all because of one panel where he said "ladies and gents" when he announced he was off the market

Literally any male character in the MCU, which is his we get the things like Stucky and Stony that permeate the fandom on almost every level (and some leeway is given here because of the MCU's lack of wueer characters)

Klaus Mikaelson and Stefan Salvatore from The Vampire Diaries/The Originals (honestly, I was surprised that people in the TVD fandom weren't immediately all over Josh and Lucas, because they're literally everything that fans want and use in their headcanon gays)

Kol Mikaelson and Jeremg Gilbert, also from TVD

Elia and Filippo from Skam Italia (despite there being, once again, actual gay characters on this show. Hell, the entire second season was dedicated to a character coming out of the closet and being with a guy)

Etc.

I could go on and on but then this post would seem infinite.

Closing thoughts, please keep in mind that I am just one guy and that my opinions don't represent everyone in fandom spaces. But also bear in mind, that my frustrations are well founded and valid from my own experiences in the fandom.

My sexuality and the fact that I'm attracted to men is not a toy for a bunch of sexually repressed fangirls who think two guys being together is hot.

[him-e]

Ok Claudia tell me how D&D's SW might be okay because I already quit after 4 seasons of GoT and I don't think I'm strong enough to do this again. I only came back to tumblr to just enjoy fandom and not focus on negativity and here is this blast from the past being thrown in my face again. But you make some valid points in your tags so please elaborate

Ok so

unpopular opinion I don’t think the d’s are that bad;

I’m actually curious to see how they handle this because the format is SO different from GoT (or I would be curious if I weren’t so scared of the discourse);

game of thrones is a really specific beast to deal with because it requires to juggle with an incredibly complex and rich book canon that is very deliberately made to defy the limits of what’s actually possible to depict in a mainstream visual medium + time and budget constraints + the guidelines of a network whose trademark has always been “we have more edgy sex than any other tv”

asoiaf also has a SHITTON of problematic content to begin with. Like. People want to pretend otherwise, but the sexual violence, the racist and whitecentric narratives, the ableism, the pervasive misogyny, the dead ladies: the d’s never invented any of this, and though in some cases they made it worse, it’s all stuff that is heavily featured IN the source material and not always in a *deconstructed way*;

the star wars franchise isn’t like that;

it’s a pg-13 fantasy space opera which means automatically no rape and no unnecessary boob display (also, like, it’s fucking disney);

it has no (canon) source material so there’s actually nothing they can “betray”;

NO CHARACTERS THEY CAN “GET WRONG” or “RUIN”;

unlimited budget, presumably;

kathleen kennedy & lucasfilm proved they’re not here to fuck around, they can and WILL fire directors mercilessly if they so much as breathe in the wrong direction;

if their ego gets in the way, they’re fucked;

lucasfilm is always going to have the final say on the casting and overall direction of the story;

I also think they (lucasfilm) are invested in telling rich and diverse female narratives given how they’re handling the sequel trilogy;

their firing Colin Trevorrow for IX (who isn’t a stranger to troubling sexist handling of his female characters) is a sign of that;

objectively, GoT was a formative experience in dealing with complex worldbuilding and long term overarching plots, and proved the d’s are gonna stick to their original vision despite external pressures and fandom backlash, which… isn’t a bad thing? at all? especially considering the entitled fan reaction to tlj;

at the end of the day, these films aren’t going to be part of the main trilogies, i.e. the heart of star wars. You can choose to watch them or avoid them entirely, and your star wars experience won’t be compromised. It’s ok to cherry pick only parts of canon, especially when canon is so vast and varied and not every part of it is fundamental to enjoy or understand the main story; you don’t have to like everything;

have faith!

[goldentelepath]

🙄 ; What are your biggest pet peeves when it comes to tumblr?

[x]

If I remember correctly, I have said before said that my most favorite things about the website was the people.

So then, what would be my least favorite thing about this website though?

Whelp... also, the people…

I some of my most vivid experiences with troubled people have been on this site. It’s not just one group or particular types of people either– its multiple ones. Its really easy for people to fall into this big black hole of negativity here. One where people can be unforgiving, have little to almost no self awareness, self-control,, out for blood, and just--- outright terrible.

If someone on this website decides they don’t like you and they are vindictive, they can ruin your time and experience here.

In the four years I have been here, I’ve learned its crucial not to let going out take a backseat to Tumblr; Whether it is the RP community, fandoms, ect. By no means do I mean you should completely avoid the site, heck-- keep having fun doing your own thing with your friends and sharing your work.

What I would say though, is be careful about emotionally investing  yourself here. If you rely solely on Tumblr as your coping mechanisms and become completely tied to a blog or certain people that when something does happen--  it can feel catastrophe.

I speak from observations of others (including acquaintances, friends and close friends) as well as my own personal experience.

[remedy7411]

How do you feel about shipping and how did you get into it? I personally am not a shipper because of past experiences but I do enjoy multiple ships and I do have the ones that I really really like but I am trying to broaden my horizons

Anon I am sorry it has taken me so long to answer this. I’ve tried a couple of times and just deleted the answer without finishing it because it wasn’t right. 

How do I feel about shipping? 

Some people take their love of fictional relationships way too far. It is supposed to be fun but a lot people feel that they can make moral judgements on people because of their love of fictional relationships and that that should stop. Talking about the negativities of shipping and shipping culture is important because shipping culture is obsessed with romantic relationships and that as much as tumblr likes to say that mainstream entertainment never lets people be friends, fandom does something really similar when it comes to shipping. And that it is pretty much impossible to create a culture where the focus isn’t romantic because we value romance more than any other kind of relationship. I think that people would get a lot farther if they focused on two things, creating the kind of content that they prefer in fandom. You don’t like pedo ships or incest ships or abuse ships. GOOD. but also talk about kind of relationships that you want to see. Share your headcanons about brothers being brothers (Th*rki which I really hate because I would be happy if L*ki was locked in a dark hole in the ground and left there. People talk about him being redeemable/redeemed but I have yet to see it.) or mentor relationships. Be loud, be proud. and block the people that turn everything into romance. show that things other than romance matter. It’s something that I am trying to do with any of my Sam/Steve headcanons because they are brothers to me, and their friendship is fucking important, but doesn’t need the fucking to important (sorry for the crass language.) 

How did I get into shipping? 

I started reading fanfic as a 12/13 year old... way to young would not recommend starting to read fanfic at that age. Luckily I found fanfic through fanfic.net and was able to avoid a lot of the more mature content. But until I was about 19/20 I didn’t care about fandom outside of fic. I didn’t interact with any communities (I didn’t want to, tbqh), I didn’t make my own fic, i tried to look at deviantart but found it wasn’t for me. All I did in fandom was read and read and read some more. I jumped around fandoms at the drop of hat because I would get bored of character a and character b and need something new to read. I didn’t even care that much about canon. Hell, most of my canon knowledge came from my bff at the time because she did watch hours of whatever series I was reading. So shipping has always been apart of my fandom experience because it was so focused on fanfiction. And shipping is the main force driving fanfiction. 

How to broaden your horizons. First you need to figure out what you like/don’t like in a ship. This is my list... 

Pretty people: i want the characters that I am imagining to look pretty. So if the ship is based off of a TV/movie, I need the characters to be pretty. If it is based off of a book then it doesn’t matter. Honestly this isn’t really something that I have to worry that much because I have a decent enough imagination that I can see characters played by people I don’t find pretty incredibly pretty. I ship a lot of canon things because pretty, but I can’t stand most onscreen kisses. A bad onscreen kiss can ruin a couple for me (T’challa/N*kia were great until they kissed and it was just like slamming mouths together and just no. Sorry no. so no headcanons about them.) 

I can’t stand unbalanced relationships. I know a lot of people ship St*ggy. I hate the relationship because I don’t feel like they were set up as equals. More of he was always in awe of her and put her on a pedestal. Can’t stand that. I want good, healthy relationships and too me a good relationship has both characters viewing each other as equals not mentor/mentee. This is actually a major reason that a lot of ships don’t appeal to me... I want to feel like the characters would equally support each other not that one character is always being forced to give to other one, and not able to be weak around them. 

I don’t normally do enemies-to-lovers, as much as I love sarcasm and snark, I need to feel the fondness that the characters feel for each other underneath the snark. There is a line between fun snark/sarcasm and mean snark/sarcasm. Same with pettiness, I love it. I love characters who are comfortable enough with their partner that they don’t have to be on there best behavior. However, I need to feel that it is out of comfort/trust not meanness. 

Abusive relationships are a huge no for me. Before I said that I could stand for a character to put another character on a pedestal, I also can’t stand to see one character emotionally or physically torment their partner. I want my ships to be supportive of each other, us against the world with each other and if they aren’t then I dump the ship, pretty quickly. 

I’m really not into huge age differences (not just things that a lot of people hate like underage) but like if the characters are more than ten years apart, I have to really be convinced of the ship. 

I like heroes. I like people that try to do the right thing (even if the right thing may not be the legal thing) and struggle with it because of the difficulty in doing what is right over what is easy/expected. I like to see them find someone that they love, who loves them for their optimism and for the way that their optimism inspires others. So I always fall for the characters on impossible quests and the people that love them throughout the quest. The people that balance out the hero. (all of my favorites fit this model...I’m very predictable in what I like) 

And it took me forever to accept this but you can love a ship and not see them as romantic AT ALL. That you can create content and want mention of the ship in fic, as well as fic just about the ship without expecting/wanting it to be romantic at all. 

Basically figure out what you are looking for from your fandom experience and surround yourself with people that want similar things. Figure out what you want for your fictional faves and then look for ships that give you that (both from canon and from fanfic. i don’t ship canon-verse St*cky at all. But fandom has created a relationship that will always have a special place in my heart because of the fact that the fic created for it, gave me the relationship I desired.)    

[novak-fan]

Westworld is great, but the fandom does disappoint me. We get two strong female leads, and what does the fandom do? Pit them against each other. I have noticed this esp. towards Dolores, where it's 'D* this, D* that', but the same criticisms are not applied to Maeve? It saddens me that for all the talk of sisterhood on this hellsite, instead of supporting two women, it's all about who is the biggest bitch of the block. They are not even against each other in canon. Why do you think this is??

It’s just tumblr being tumblr tbh. Or fandom being fandom. I try to avoid most of fandom in general actually, so I had no idea this was happening :(  which I’m disappointed but not surprised. When it comes to female characters it’s a thing that always always happens so it was just a matter of time here I guess, sadly. That so called sisterhood  just matters for certain things and it’s conveniently ignored for others.

It’s funny though, when “Hello lovelies” happened, I was fangirling so hard! xD and then I was sad. But well, a rivalry was the farthest thing on my mind, idek with people that fixate on that. I just want the show to be about the girls all the time lol

Just try to ignore all that negativity, follow people that enjoy the show for what it is, follow drama-free blogs, block people, blacklist tags, all of it… otherwise, the fandom will ruin the experience for you and that would be a shame. It almost happened to me with S/upergirl and it isn’t worth it. Honestly fck those people.