#(it's because of my interpretation of him but shh /light hearted) also i never knew about the scar thing that's interesting

[where-are-the-spooky-gays-2]

Forever head canoning orange and Janus can’t STAND each other

(Joan confirmed Janus’s pink eye bag is a scar and I think orange gave it to him)

They’re arguing in a parking lot like the two cats I saw earlier today

Live Footage of Jan and Orange whenever they see each other:

[arvinsescape]

Time and Space.

A/N: Another angsty one that won’t have a part two, i’ve left it down to readers interpretation as to what happens next. I enjoy writing more angsty fics and i enjoyed writing this. I hope you all enjoy! There is also some slight POV changes in this so if i missed any you/she’s that needed to be corrected i apologise.

Summary: Tom's been distant and it reaches its breaking point.

Warnings: Swearing, so much angst, mentions of mental health being affected.

W/C: 3K

If someone had told you a year ago that on your next birthday you’d be sat crying into your drink you’d have laughed at them but would they have been wrong? No. Here you were crying into your drink and violently sobbing while Tuwaine rubbed your back and tried to calm you down, it wasn’t working.

Harrison was furious with his best friend, he couldn’t be more angry if he tried. He’d promised her he was going to be here and where was he? Well if he’d pick up his fucking phone Harrison might have an answer for the sobbing girl. Tuwaine was utterly lost, he had no idea how to make her feel better.

You looked at your phone for what felt like the millionth time that night, nothing from him and it was 12.01am the day after your birthday. He hadn’t said happy birthday and he hadn’t seen you on your birthday, not spared you a thought in 24 hours. You knew something was wrong, something you couldn’t quite get a grip on, he’d become distant.

“Hey.” You said as you approached him, he was sat on his phone, he didn’t even look at you. “Do you wanna do something today?” You asked and he huffed quietly.

“Not today, love.” He’d answered and it felt cold, withdrawn. He still hadn’t looked at you.

“Okay, then I’m gonna go out for a bit.” You said and he hummed not looking away from his phone.

**

“I applied for a promotion today.” You said over dinner, he was yet to say anything to you.

“Nice.” He said. It sounded like he didn’t mean it. No further questions as if he wanted the conversation to be over.

“I’m kinda nervous for it.” You said hoping to keep the conversation going.

“You’ll do great.” He said as he got up and left the room.

**

He’d been nothing but distant over the last couple of weeks and last night he missed a dinner date, he apologised, although it seemed half arsed and didn’t give a reason. You knew he wasn’t cheating because Harrison had texted you to apologise that he kept Tom out, but Tom said nothing about it. You got up and couldn’t help the brim of tears in your eyes.

“You okay?” He asked as you sniffled.

“Yeah.” You mumbled as you sniffled again and rubbed your nose.

“Okay.” He said as he made his way out the door. You cried for the first time in those couple of weeks. You knew he wasn’t cheating so did he just not love you anymore? Were you an inconvenience? Your mind ran at a thousand miles an hour thinking over all the reasons he was being so cold.

It only got worse, one missed dinner date turned into three so you stopped organising them. He never had a reason for missing them and the last time he’d done it didn’t even pull and apology from him. You folded your arms over the table and stuffed your face into them as you cried harder and Tuwaine wondered how that was possible.

Tuwaine watched as she sobbed her heart out in the middle of a bar not caring if people were looking or not. He pulled her into his chest as she sobbed harder, the tears instantly wetting his shirt but he didn’t care, he was heartbroken for the girl in his arms. He looked at Harrison as Harrisons nostrils flared before he abruptly stood from the table and made his way outside.

“Hey, shh. Come on Y/N, it’s your birthday.” Tuwaine said to her and she didn’t respond, probably didn’t hear as her crying was so loud, he was almost in tears himself watching her break apart in his arms. She shouldn’t be in his arms, this should be Tom comforting her but fuck knows where he is.

Harrison pulled up Tom’s contact one last time before he decided that he was going to go over there and rip him a new one. He placed the phone to his ear as he ran his hands through his hair, surprisingly Tom picked up after the third ring.

“Hey mate.”

“Where the fuck are you?” Harrison growled down the phone.

“What do you mean?” Tom asked confused.

“Of course you forgot. You really are a piece of shit.” Harrison laughed sarcastically, his heart was well and truly broken for the girl inside.

“Forgot what? Are you gonna just keep insulting me or tell me what I’ve done?” Tom snapped and Harrisons nostrils flared as his anger bubbled further to the brim.

“Where’s Y/N?” He asked.

“I don’t know she wasn’t home when I got back.” Tom answered almost as if it meant nothing. No concern. No fucking anything. Harrisons anger completely boiled over.

“It’s her birthday you absolute fucking bell end. She’s sat in the middle of a pub crying because you couldn’t keep yet another promise. You really have outdone yourself.” Harrison said and he heard Tom curse at the other end of the phone.

“Shit, tell her I’ll be there in ten.” He said.

“Don’t fucking bother. You have done more than enough. I’m bringing her home soon and you better just fucking leave her be.” Harrison said.

“No disrespect mate but this is my relationship.” Tom snapped and Harrison laughed at that.

“Is it? Does she know you’re still together?” Harrison bit back, he was beyond angry.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Tom shouted back at him.

“If you don’t know what I mean by that Tom I’m not fucking trying.” Harrison snapped as he put the phone down. He stormed back into the pub, his anger having risen to a point of what he thought was no return until he saw Y/N again and all anger dissipated as he watched her cry into Tuwaine’s chest that should have been Tom’s.

You couldn’t control yourself as you cried, so many thoughts running through your head. You had to go home eventually but that meant back to Tom, maybe, if he was there. You would ask to stay at one of the boy’s house but their house was your house and it was far too late to call anyone else. Maybe you could get a hotel for the night, you didn’t want to speak to Tom tonight, not after this.

“Y/N? I’m gonna take you home okay? I’m gonna give you my room and I’ll sleep on the sofa.” You heard Harrison say as he crouched down next to you.

“But what if Tom’s there?” You sobbed back and he took your hands in his as you pulled away from Tuwaine.

“If you don’t want to speak to Tom tonight you don’t have to.” Harrison said and you nodded as you both stood. Tuwaine grabbed your things as Harrison guided you outside and flagged down a taxi. You managed to compose yourself a little as you sat in the taxi.

“I don’t think he loves me anymore.” You said and Harrison sighed. Harrison wasn’t sure he could answer this, Tom hadn’t said anything but he was sure acting like he didn’t.

“Let’s just get you home and we can talk about this tomorrow okay? You need some sleep.” Harrison said as he pulled you into his side. At some point the crying had taken a toll on you and you let the exhaustion pull you under and you let silent tears fall.

Harrison was aware she’d fallen asleep and a part of him was happy about it, she wouldn’t have to face him tonight. He was so angry that Tom hadn’t seen the heart break in her, she’d become distant herself, lost in her own thoughts more often. She wasn’t enthusiastic anymore and anyone with eyes could see she was slowly breaking so why hadn’t Tom?

Harrison paid the driver as he carefully moved her out of the taxi, carrying her bridal style up the driveway. He noticed the living room light on and he sighed, Tom was waiting. Tuwaine unlocked the door as he made his way upstairs and as Harrison kicked the door shut gently Tom came in.

“She okay?” Tom asked and his heart broke as he took in the state of her, she looked so tired, almost broken, she didn’t have that same peaceful look on her face that sleep normally brought.

“Don’t.” Harrison gritted out as he started to make his way upstairs.

“Harrison sh-“ Tom began to say and Harrison spun round to look at his face.

“Don’t you fucking dare wake her up. I’ll be back down shortly.” Harrison gritted out and Tom nodded as he watched his friend carry his girlfriend upstairs and into his room. She shouldn’t even be crying but here she is and Tom should be comforting her but here he is.

Tom sat on the living room sofa as his leg bounced waiting for his friend to reappear. He was aware he was in for an argument. He’d just been so stressed recently and he’d taken it out on her and he felt awful, he hadn’t noticed the change in her but seeing her tonight and she was only asleep made him realise how much he’d fucked up. Harrison entered the living room as he shut the door and Tom instantly shot up.

“What did you get her?” Harrison asked.

“What?” Tom asked with furrowed brows, he wasn’t sure where this was going.

“For her birthday?” Harrison clarified.

“I forgot.” Tom swallowed as he watched his friends nostrils flare.

“Fucking brilliant. Do you know what she said to me tonight?” Harrison said as he crossed his arms over his chest and Tom shook his head, he couldn’t find his voice.

“She said ‘I don’t think he loves me anymore’ and she fucking believed it.” Harrison said and Tom felt his heart shatter. He knew he’d been distant and he knew he wasn’t being fair to her but he never once thought she’d believe he didn’t love her.

“I do.” Tom said as he felt his tears, he had really fucked up.

“I couldn’t tell her that, Tom.” Harrison sighed as he felt his anger wash away all of a sudden, he was just left with a sadness in his chest over the situation. “I couldn’t stick up for you because you haven’t given me a reason to make her believe otherwise.” Tom’s tears slipped down his cheeks at that, had he really been so cold?

“I’ve just been so stressed, I didn’t mean to be that way.” Tom said and Harrison sighed again as he ran his hands over his face.

“But you were and you didn’t see what it was doing to her. Fuck, Tom we picked up on her changes weeks ago.” Harrison said and Tom nodded as he sniffled. He felt like he had a whole in his heart that was only going to be made bigger once he spoke to his girlfriend.

“I’ve really fucked up Haz, I need to speak to her.” Tom said as he cried.

“Not tonight Tom please, just let her sleep.” Harrison begged as he placed a reassuring hand on his friends shoulder and Tom nodded as he said goodnight and made his way upstairs, he was scared this was going to be the end, that she wouldn’t forgive him for this. He collapsed onto his bed tossing and turning, thinking about what the morning will bring until he eventually fell asleep.

You woke up and your head was pounding from the tears you’d shed last night. You felt awful and as you turned to the bedside table you saw that a packet of painkillers and a bottle of water had been left with a note.

For your head. Me, Tuwaine and Harrison have gone out for the day so you two can talk. I’m here if you need anything, Harry.

Harry hadn’t been able to make it last night for legitimate reasons and the boys must have filled him in this morning. As for Tom, you still had no idea why he couldn’t make it last night. You swallowed the painkillers and drank the bottle of water before making your way into the bathroom. You looked at yourself in the mirror after you finished brushing your teeth and you were shocked by the sight.

You had horrendous bags under your eyes and no life in them. You looked tired, completely drained of energy. You almost cried again at the sight of yourself but you were sure you legitimately couldn’t cry again, you felt numb after your breakdown last night.

You took a shower and let the water wash your tear stains away along with everything else. You felt ready to talk to Tom now, more prepared than last night, you were sure you had no more tears left for him. You loved him, god did you love him but this wasn’t working at the minute and you came to accept that when you were in the shower. His feelings had changed and there was nothing you could do about it, sometimes it happens and you had to accept that.

You realised that you’d have to go back into your shared bedroom in order to get changed and you mentally prepared yourself one last time before you opened the door and there he was sat on the edge of the bed. Your heart broke slightly at the sight of him, he looked tired, like he’d hardly slept. You silently got dressed as neither of you dare say a word until you heard Tom sigh.

“Y/N/N, I’m so sorry.” He said and his voice broke as tears made their way down his face.

“Why weren’t you there?” You asked, voice tired, devoid of all emotion. Tom sobbed before he answered, he knew this would break you heart, you on the other hand weren’t sure if you had any heart left to break.

“I forgot.” He said and shame laced his tone. He prepared himself for the shouting but it never came you only nodded. The lack of emotion from you was frightening Tom to no end.

“Do you still love me?” You asked, you needed to know. You watched as tears fell like a waterfall down his beautiful face. You were right in assuming you had no tears left because usually the sight of him crying would cause some of your own tears, but not right now.

“I do. I love you so much princess. I’m sorry, I’ve been so stressed lately and I took it out on you and I shouldn’t have.” He was still sat on the edge of the bed as he dropped his head into his hands and cried again. You stood still in your position across the room. Normally the nickname would fill you with happiness but right now it was hitting a brick wall. Your heart slightly lifted to hear he still loved you but you still needed space.

“Please can we talk about this? I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to. I really do love you and I mean that.” He said.

“That’s first time you’ve said those words in a while.” You spoke as you realised.

“What?” He furrowed his brows as he looked at you.

“I love you.” You replied, voice still void of emotion. You were speaking as if you were listing off a fact file.

“I’m sorry.” Tom shook his head as he sniffled loudly before burying his head in his hands again.

“I’m gonna go stay with a friend.” You said as you slowly started to pack a suitcase.

“What? No, baby, we can fix this. You don’t have to leave.” He panicked as he frantically looked at you. You sighed as you continued to pack.

“Tom, I’m tired and I’m drained. I need some time away.” You said honestly as you zipped up your case after having packed what you’d need for a while.

“Please, Y/N don’t leave me.” He pleaded with you as he stood. You sighed again, you’d been through this in your head, you needed time, both of you did.

“Tom, I need some time away from you okay. I need time to think and to process the last seven weeks.” You said.

“What if you don’t come back?” He panicked as he made his way over to you, taking your face in both of his hands looking straight into your eyes. “I love you so much, please don’t leave me. We can talk about it.” Tom was pleading with you now and you felt your first tear fall as he swiftly swiped it away with his thumb.

“Tom I love you, I really do. But we need space and then we can talk okay?” You said.

“But what if you stop loving me?” Tom worried and you smiled as you placed your hands over his.

“A part of me will always love you and I mean that.”

“This feels like a goodbye.” Tom cried.

“It doesn’t have to be, but we need time and space right now. That’s what we need, when I’m ready to talk I’ll let you know.” You said through a sad smile. “I love you.” You said as you placed a sweet kiss to his lips which he instantly returned, his tears mixing with the kiss. You pulled away from him as you grabbed your case.

“I love you so much, please don’t forget that.” Tom said as you made you’re way out of the door.

“I won’t. I’ll call you when I’m ready to talk.” You softly smiled at him and he returned it as you shut the door and made your way to your car.

[tanyawritesstories]

Bliss Beneath Waves | Kit Fisto x Reader

Here is the fic based off this request. Sorry it took so long, anon 🥺 I loved the idea that this inspired! You can either think of it as before the Clone Wars or if they never happened, since it's peaceful and cute. 🥰 Also, I just started reading The Cestus Deception and have been simping extra hard over Kit recently 😍😍 enjoy!!

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: fluff, one NSFW scene, fingering, cuddling, adorable themes, more fluff, Kit is such a sweetheart and I love him

•••

The planet was gorgeous at night. It’s moon was closer to it than on Coruscant and provided more light, bathing everything in a soft blue glow. The surface of the planet was mostly water with islands of every size scattered about here and there. The only noise was that of the gentle waves lapping at the shore and songbirds whistling their lullabies for all to hear. It was so peaceful, even if you were sitting by yourself on a boulder at the edge of the water, not currently joined with your partner just yet.

You closed your eyes and breathed in the fresh air. Glee Anselm was one of the favorite planets you’d ever visited and it wasn’t just because the locals were nice and the scenery was beautiful. It held a special place in your heart. You smiled thinking of all the reasons why it did.

One of those reasons was currently walking towards the rocks where you were sitting. You could faintly hear the shuffling of the sand as it sunk under his boots, your smile widened. You knew he was looking at you. You heard what sounded like clothes rustling together before small grunts as he clambered onto your rock, sitting down beside you. “Evening, my love,” he greeted. You turned your head, still smiling, and was treated to the sight of Kit, looking just as happy as you. “How did your mission go?” You asked.

“It went great,” he said, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. “I didn’t expect it to go so well. The Senator even invited me to dinner afterwards, hence why I was so late. You remember meeting her, don’t you?” You nodded, resting your head on his chest. “I remember. I’m shocked you two are still good friends despite the idea that politicians and Jedi don’t mix.” He chuckled. “She and I have been friends for years, our political ideals and lifestyles don’t get in the way of that.”

You had initially been a bit jealous when you first met the Senator of Kit’s home planet. He seemed very fond of her, and her of him. Kit had sensed your emotions and explained that Senator Kadis and himself had been good friends when they were growing up. When he became a Jedi he took attachment very seriously and purposely forgot about her, but as he grew older and more comfortable with his life, his interpretations of the code had loosened and that had been when he met you. His relationship with you was stronger than anything and nothing could tear him away from you.

You both sat in silence for a few minutes until Kit noticed your attire. “Where did you get this dress?” He asked, thumbing the material. You had almost forgotten that you were wearing such a nice outfit. “I had a formal dinner meeting to attend, I came here right after,” you explained. “I don’t mean to sound dull, sweet thing, but your business dealings sound more boring than anything the Senate has to offer,” he commented. You laughed. “They are for the most part,” you agreed, “but I love investing in promising people and helping their ideas make it big.”

Kit smiled and returned his attention to your dress. It wasn’t anything too fancy. It had been a warm Coruscant summer day and you wanted something that would keep you from overheating. It was a light yellow flowy, strapless dress that came down to your knees. A white ribbon with a small bow acted as a belt around your middle, and also kept the chiffon fabric from getting out of control. “Where did you get it?” He inquired. “Just a small store I found, it was the cheapest formal looking thing I could find,” you answered. He hummed, “you look stunning in it.” You smiled, a small blush dusting your cheeks and ears. “Thank you, baby.”

Kit decided it was that time in the day to relax and promptly whisked off his shirt, leaving him in just a loose pair of knee-length, brown pants. “Would you like to join me for a swim, darling?” He asked, slipping off the boulder and into the water. “I’ll think about it,” you said. You swung your legs off the rock, letting your feet dip into the water as you watched Kit walk into deeper water and dive under. You hadn’t known much about Nautolans when you first met Kit four years ago. You remember how sheepish you felt after you got worried when he had been underwater for ten minutes without surfacing, only to have someone tell you that his species was mostly aquatic and had gills to breathe underwater.

Kit resurfaced near you and swam over, running his hands up and down your legs, coating them in a sheen of warm water. “Are you sure you don’t want to join me?” He wondered. “I’m fine right here, for now,” you replied. Kit planted a few kisses to your calf before smirking to himself and looking up at you with an innocent stare. “How much did you say you paid for this dress?” You looked down at him, curious as to why he was asking. “Not much, why?” Kit moved his hands farther up your legs. “Do you like it a lot?” You shrugged, “I mean it’s alright, it’s not my favorite thing I’ve ever purchased. Why are you-”

“So you wouldn’t mind if it got a little ruined, would you?” Kit asked with a devious smirk. You were confused until his grip on your legs tightened, by the time you realized what was happening, it was too late to stop it. “No, no, no, Kit!” You shouted in shock as he pulled on your legs, dragging you off the rock and into the water. He caught you in his arms before you completely submerged, laughing at the annoyed expression on your face. “What? You said it wasn’t your favorite,” he joked, his smile so big and genuine that you had a hard time finding it in you to be mad at him. At least the water was warm.

“You’re lucky I love you,” you joked along with. Your arms linked around the back of his neck bringing you closer together. Kit cupped your cheek and brought your lips to his. The kiss started slow, but it quickly escalated into heated passion and want. One of Kit’s hands wandered down to the hem of your dress, running his hand up your thigh and pushing the wet fabric up. You broke away with a small gasp. “Kit…” you breathed. “Shh, I know, we don’t have much time,” he said, “but I’ve finally got some alone time with my wife, there is no way I’m going to spend it without pleasuring you in some way..”

You whined and wrapped one of your legs around his waist, opening them just enough for Kit to rest his hand on your barely covered sex. “You’re warm down here,” he observed, sending you a lust filled glance. “Well, my husband did just promise to finger-fuck me within an inch of my life so I don’t know what you expect, you handsome devil,” you replied cheekily. Kit chuckled, the sound a low and enticing rumble. “Then finger-fuck you within an inch of your life I shall do,” he settled. In a few quick movements Kit pushed the offending fabric of your thong aside and ran two fingers firmly along your slit.

You gasped and gripped onto his shoulders, grinding down onto his long digits. Kit attached his lips to your neck and gently nibbled, he didn’t want to leave marks knowing where you both would be heading after this. He teased your entrance before sinking two fingers deep into your needy cunt. “Kit..” you moaned out, running your hands through his head tendrils softly. He groaned in response, working his way down to lick the skin of your collarbone. His fingers sped up, your slickness combined with the water meant little to no resistance for his fingers. Your breathing was shallow and you squealed when he hit your hidden pleasure point. He hummed, now nibbling on your earlobe. “You going to cum on my fingers, sweet one?” His thumb found your clit and he rubbed firm circles on it. You only nodded, not able to produce words.

His fingers were thrusting in and out at a blinding pace now, he curled his fingers up sharp and hard, sending you over the edge. You wailed as your orgasm washed over you, Kit removed his fingers when it got too much for you. He gently pulled your panties back in place and watched as you came down from bliss. You sighed happily, continuing to run your hands over and through his head tentacles, it helped you both relax. When Kit was calm he gave off a calming aura that you latched onto, bringing yourself into the same headspace. He nuzzled into your touch as one hand moved to his back and you pulled him in for a tight hug. You massaged his back, working out any tension in his muscles, the water providing an extra relaxing effect.

After a while of calming down and spending time loving in silence, you both decided it was time to get moving. You both exited the water and dried off the best you could, heading to a familiar side of town once you were both presentable. “I hope your mother won’t be angry that we’re fifteen minutes late,” you wondered aloud. You and Kit stopped at a simple, cozy looking house at the end of the road, where Kit began pushing in the code for the front door. “I’m sure she won’t mind, you know she loves the kids,” he assured.

The door opened and you both stepped inside, not seeing anyone at first. You weren’t standing for very long until you heard the thundering of footsteps coming your way, the two young boys rounded the corner, barreling towards you and Kit. “Aiden! Mika! We missed you,” Kit said, kneeling on the floor as his son ran to him at full speed. “Mommy, dada! You’re back!” They both shouted. Mika ran to you and you grabbed under his arms, lifting the youngster into your arms and balancing him on your hip. Aiden ran straight into his father’s arms and Kit scooped him up and spun him around. Kit’s mother rounded the corner shortly after with a smile on her face. “You two came back just in time, they were starting to get restless,” she said.

“Thank you again for watching them.” You said, planting a kiss to Mika’s forehead and smoothing your hands over his tiny head tentacles that were just starting to grow out. “Daddy, can we go home now, I’m getting tired,” Aiden voiced with a yawn. “Of course, little man,” Kit answered, “say goodbye to your grandmother now.” Both boys waved and said numerous goodbyes as you and Kit carried them out of the house. Your ship was parked a short distance away and by the time you reached it Mika had fallen asleep in your arms and Aiden could barely keep his eyes open. You got to the ship and set both boys down in their on-board bunks, kissing them goodnight before you and Kit joined each other in the cockpit.

You pecked a kiss to his cheek as he punched in the coordinates for Coruscant. “I love you, Kit,” you said. He smiled and planted a kiss on your cheek as well. “I love you too, darling. Now strap in, it’ll be awhile before we reach home.”

[bonjour-rainycity]

The Siren

Requested by @lifm06: Jasper x Reader where the reader is a siren and Jasper’s supernatural mate, but she doesn’t want to hurt Alice after seeing them kiss. So she runs away and a rogue vampire turns her and Jasper finds her collapsed on the floor during the process. After waking up, she gets hungry for real food and this confuses the Cullens and they find out she only half-transformed but still gets all the same cool powers and stuff.

A/n Hey there, thanks for the request! For the purposes of this story, I messed with canon. Alice and Jasper aren’t married — he’s new to the Cullen family (like within a year or two) and is currently dating Alice, seeing if they’re a good fit. Also, I’ve vaguely set this one at a university, hope that’s alright!

Pairing: Jasper X Female Reader

Disclaimer: I am not making any money from this nor do I own anything recognizable

Word count: 2418

Warnings: Mild descriptions of violence

“And aside from your book selections, no homework over the weekend.” The professor grins conspiratorially at the rejuvenated atmosphere in the classroom. “You’re welcome. Enjoy Homecoming.”

Gathering my items, I exit the classroom quickly, hoping to make it to my car before anyone can flag me down. It’s been a long, stressful day, and I want nothing more than to go home and relax in a wonderfully hot bath.

“Hey, Y/n!” A high-pitched voice chirps from below my ear and a cold, skinny arm wraps around my elbow.

“Alice,” I beam, unable to be annoyed at one of my favorite friends.

“You’re coming tonight, right?”

I grimace, quickly searching for an excuse.

She squints, frustration etching lines into her usually-smooth face. As I decide on and then discard various reasons for my absence at the Homecoming party tonight, staticky visions fly through her mind, just hazy enough to prevent her from interpreting them.

She doesn’t know I know she’s struggling to see my future. She doesn’t know I know she has visions, or that Edward can’t read my mind, or that she and her family are vampires.

She doesn’t know that I’m not human.

My supernatural attributes are even more subtle than vampire’s. I look and act and feel and die just like a human, but something is off. Something is different. When I argue with someone, they agree with me. When I ask for a lower price, it’s given. When I sing, people have no choice but to follow, even if I were leading them to their death.

My voice holds all my power.

Although Alice and I are both not human, I haven’t convinced myself to tell her that I’m a siren and that I know she’s a vampire. I would, really, if not for one terrible, awful, life-ruining fact.

I’m in love with her boyfriend.

From the minute Jasper walked into the lecture hall, I knew he was it. I felt the call of the heart, the soul, the sea, whatever, because I felt it all. I felt it so strongly, I thought I might collapse under the force of it.

And he walked past my seat like I was nothing to him.

Crushing as that was, after some research, I began to understand it better. I come from a long line of sirens, so I have the benefit of being aware of other supernatural beings. To the Cullens though, I must appear to be nothing more than a Shield -- capable of blocking their powers, but a human still. There’s no way for Jasper to know my feelings, because we operate on different wavelengths. And because vampires live forever, they can take their time forming connections — it’s not immediate like it is for sirens.

So I resolved to be patient. Over the course of months, Jasper and I developed a close friendship, teetering on the edge of something more. It was thrilling, wonderful, and painful all at once.

And then, four months ago, my best friend Alice confided in me that she and Jasper had gotten together.

It had nearly broken me. And while I love Alice like a sister and would never interfere with her happiness, I also don’t want to put myself in a position where I might see her and Jasper together.

Hence my hesitance to attend the party tonight.

“I really do have a lot of homework—”

“Y/n please, half the school will be there,” she whines, tugging on my arm impatiently.

That’s true…half the school will be there…I can have a fun night and never have to see her and Jasper together. So without much more of a fight, I agree.

{***}

The party is loud and wild and messy and fun. I dance with friends and strangers alike, celebrating the success of our football team and the new school year. The gathering is much too big to be held indoors, so we dance in the moonlight, in a large clearing not too far into the forest. I’m never alone — someone always seeks me out. It’s an unintended side-effect of being a siren, one that, even after many years, I still don’t feel accustomed to.

One of my acquaintances, Cleo, pulls me to the side for another drink, and towards the entrance of the clearing, I see them.

Jasper, the one I am meant to be with, holds my best friend Alice tightly against him, kissing her fiercely.

Pain pierces deep in my stomach and I drop my cup, fighting back tears.

“I—I have to go.”

Cleo calls after me, but I’m already gone, running through the sea of people in the opposite direction, into the woods.

{***}

The moon is much higher in the sky when I finally stop running. Panting, I sink to the ground, not sure if I’m gasping from exertion or my sobs. When I go to wipe my eyes, I notice the blood on my arms. I must’ve run through brambles or thorn bushes, but I have no real memory of it.

The only thing I can remember is seeing my love with someone else.

“Why are you crying?”

I whip my head up, expecting to have been alone.

A few yards in front of me stands a man possessing the type of beauty only afforded to the supernatural.

And his eyes shine bright red.

Oh no.

“N-nothing,” I stutter, fear momentarily pushing the emotional pain to the side. “I was just taking a break from a party, but I should be getting back now.”

“Yes,” he murmurs, taking slow steps forward. “The revelry can be heard for miles — I will admit that I have been waiting for one to isolate themselves. The woods are dark and dangerous and when you mix in alcohol well…disappearances can be better-explained.”

I swallow at his menacing words, pushing myself up to my feet.

Before I can make any further movement, the man comes behind me, holding me in a vice-like grip. “Fear not, young one,” he purrs, stroking his nose along my neck. “I shall be quick.”

Resolve settles within me, and I remember who I am. I am a siren, and my voice is my power!

“You will not kill me,” I declare in the sweetest, most enchanting voice possible.

I feel him physically weaken at my words, but I waited too long to speak.

His teeth are already sinking into my skin.

White-hot pain, more horrible than anything I’ve ever experienced, rips through my body and, with a shriek of agony, I fall to the ground.

The vampire looks upon me with a mixture of regret and pity. “I will not kill you,” he murmurs, still caught under the force of my words.

And with that, he flees, disappearing into the night.

I don’t know how long I writhe on the ground, begging, screaming for someone to help me, to make the pain stop.

But it only spreads.

After what seems like an eternity, the pain covers my entire body, and my vision goes black.

{***}

“Y/n?”

Though the pain, an angelic voice floats to my ears.

I try to respond, to reach towards it, but all I can manage is a scream.

“Oh my God,” the angel breathes, horror apparent in his voice.

Is he in pain too?! Has the fire reached my beloved?!

I begin to panic, trying to claw through the pain to get to him.

“Shh, shh, it’s alright,” the voice soothes, pulling me into an embrace that feels like home.

He’s silent for a moment, cradling my head in his hand, and then he speaks again.

“This is the first time I’ve been able to feel what you feel…” His voice sounds breathy, dazed, and I try to open my eyes, without success.

As much as I want to stay here with him, to be cognizant of his touch, his voice, the pain is too strong, and I sink into its clutches once more.

{***}

When the pain finally recedes from my body, I open new eyes.

The world around me has changed too, it seems. Everything is sharper, clearer, louder, more intense.

And when I look down and see Jasper holding my hand, I realize that my feelings for him have intensified, too. Somehow, I love him even more than I previously thought possible.

He nods, gripping my hand tighter. “I feel it too.”

“Y/n.” A soft voice to my right requests my attention, and I reluctantly turn my gaze from my beloved’s topaz eyes to greet those of Dr. Carlisle Cullen. He offers me a hesitant smile, clearly trying to make himself seem non-threatening. “I’m glad to see you awake and out of pain. How are you feeling?”

I shrug, at a loss for how to describe it all. I still feel like me, yes, but I feel….more. I feel the input of heightened senses and the resilient nature of my new body. “Different,” I decide, knowing that word will have to do it for now. “Where am I?”

“At our home,” a voice answers from behind me, and I jump off the bed, having previously been unaware of this third guest.

Edward Cullen stands there, hands raised in the universal show of surrender. “I’m sorry, I should’ve made my presence known. You can relax now, no harm will come to you here.”

It’s then that I notice that, in the mere span of half a second, I have thrown myself from the bed and into a defensive position, baring my teeth.

It’s Edward, I remind myself. You know him, he’s nice. Calm down.

I force myself to relax. 

An intrigued look crosses his face. “I’d never been able to read your mind before today. I guess that’s an effect of the transformation.”

Transformation…meaning…

“I’m a vampire,” I realize, hands flying to my too-smooth skin.

“Yes,” Jasper breathes, placing a light hand on my arm. “I found you in the woods a few days ago, I’m sorry…I couldn’t stop it.”

He turns to face me then, regret plain in his features. I shake my head, wanting badly to stop his sadness. “No, it’s okay, I…well the pain wasn’t ideal, but that’s done now. I do wonder how this will fit with my other abilities, though…”

Carlisle furrows a curious eyebrow. “Your other abilities?”

“You’re a siren,” Edward gasps, pulling the thought from my head. “Or at least, you were…we’ll have to get Alice, see if she can see anything of your future. That might help us figure some things out.”

Alice. I glance to Jasper at my side, then quickly look away. I shouldn’t be this close to him. “Where is Alice?” Surely she would want to be here, as my best friend?

Edward shakes his head slowly, looking conflicted. “She wanted to be here, but she needed some time to herself. She—” he clears his throat, looking to Jasper for help.

Jasper squeezes my hand in his, prompting me to look at him. “When you changed, so did my future. It shifted and, well, didn’t include her in the way it might’ve before.”

Oh.

Oh!

Oh wow, I feel awful.

“Don’t,” Edward and Jasper protest at the same time.

“She’ll be alright,” Carlisle confirms, offering me an encouraging smile. “She has a world of other possibilities open to her, and she knows it. She’ll be back in a few weeks at most. And until then, we need to teach you how to be a vampire.”

I smile weakly, a twinge of discomfort in my stomach making itself known. “Can it wait until after dinner? I feel like I haven’t eaten in days.”

“Of course,” Carlisle nods, indicating to the nearby window. “If you follow us to the forest, we will teach you how to hunt.”

“Um—” I hesitate. “Won’t that take a while? I can smell the meat in the fridge now, could we just make that and go hunting tomorrow?”

I’m met with three sets of hopelessly confused eyes.

“You…want human food?” Jasper tilts his head, uncomprehending.

I stare at him, equally questioning. “Yes? Oh—” Realization hits me. “I should want blood, shouldn’t I?”

“Yes,” Carlisle nods, studying me closely. “You say you are a siren? Perhaps that stopped the full transformation from taking effect somehow.”

Worry pools within me. Am I not a proper vampire?

Edward shakes his head, knowing my thoughts. “No, you seem to be like us on the surface — you just don’t have the desire for blood. We should explore more in-depth though. For example, what of your lifespan? Will it be indefinite, or limited to the constraints of a human or a siren? Are you as strong as us, or are you holding on to human traits that make you weaker?”

Jasper senses my rising anxiety and places a hand on my shoulder. “There is certainly a lot to discuss, but we should do it after you eat.”

We go downstairs and Esme, one of the kindest people I’ve ever met, welcomes me with open arms and does her best to prepare the food she has on hand. I help a little, having been mortal the most recently.

After dinner, I meet the rest of the family, and they all join us outside for tests of my new abilities.

{***}

Nearly two days later, we’ve determined that I am a vampire.

Just not all the way.

It seems the siren in me stopped the full transformation from taking place, and I occupy a sort of half-state.

I am fast and strong, though not as much as my full-vampire counterparts. My senses are better than a human’s and almost as good as a vampire’s. My skin is just as hard and cold as a vampire’s. My eyes are currently red, though Carlisle thinks they will turn back to my usual color once my human blood fades from my system, providing I abstain from blood of any sort.

Perhaps the most interesting, is that my voice, already strong before my transformation, has only grown in power. I can bring Emmett—one of the strongest vampires we know of—to the ground with just a few words. It’s all very interesting.

The only matter we have yet to resolve is my life-span.

None of us know how long I will live.

My emotions tell Jasper where my thoughts lie. “We’ll figure it out,” he mutters, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

I sigh, leaning back against his chest and enjoying his embrace. Because whatever time I have with him, I intend to soak it up for all it’s worth.

A/n Thanks for reading! If you have a moment, check out my masterlist :)

[7wanderingpaws]

Simply, your (14)

Pairing: Baekhyun x reader

Genre: family AU, hapkido teacher AU, PhD AU

Word count:  7K

Warnings: language

A/N:  Wow. This one was a small rollercoaster. Please let me know what you thought! I have been staring at my screen for too long today, sorry for any mistakes. ^^

tags:  @milky-baek @itsbaekhyunsbutt @luvhtears @shesdreaminginoverdose @cynthbee @jummyjammy @junmyeonnoona @littleflowercrown13 @sebootyforlife​ (if you want to be tagged/untagged please let me know!)

MASTERLIST

1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . 12 . 13

Everything felt like a dream. A very painful, unrealistic, maybe even bizarre dream that pulled you into an abyss of deep sleep. Levitating between reality and dream, you weren’t sure if the pain in your body was also something your mind brilliantly produced, but it was a small emergency bell, nonetheless. A bell that was supposed to tell you that everything that happened in the past 24 hours was very much real.

When you were brought back to consciousness, a mop of hair was what welcomed you, the owner’s forehead pressed to the mattress while his hands were cradling yours, sitting on a chair next to your bed. Was he sleeping? He seemed uncomfortable, you thought.

Looking up at the ceiling of the room, you started to feel all the discomfort your body was quickly catching up to. The tiredness as if you got run over by a truck instead of quality rest. Your head was a bit light, and the pain, especially between your legs, was slowly growing in intensity, starting with gentle throbbing.

When you finally understood why you were in the hospital, your eyes widened and looked around the room in hopes to see some small carrier that would have three babies. But there were none.

You moved around a little more before Baekhyun snapped his head up, his eyes on alert as he saw you looking at him with big, but tired eyes.

“Honey,” he whispered and stood up, leaning over you. “You’re up.” He cradled your face and you closed your eyes for a second before opening them.

“Wh-where are our babies?” you asked in a whisper as well, not trusting your voice just yet. “Why aren’t they here? How long have I been out?”

“Shh,” he let out gently, combing your hair out of your face. “The doctor told us they have to be in incubation for the time being. Don’t you remember?”

You felt tears in your eyes because the only real thing you remembered was pushing out a human. And then another one. And another one. Everything after that seemed to be a blur. “I want to see them.”

He looked worried at your words and he sat back down, your face missing the heat of his palms. “First let’s have some water, hm?” he said, giving you a small smile as he reached for the cup that was on the small table next to your bed. He helped you gulp down half of it before the nurse appeared from the corridor with a kind smile. You recognized her as the same one that declared you were ready to go to labor.

“Oh, our young triplet family,” she said in a cheerful voice which was weirdly soothing to you. If she acted like that it meant there were no problems. “I see the mother is up. I am going to check your pulse, alright?” Both you and Baekhyun nodded and she asked in between: “When did you wake up?”

“Not long ago,” answered Baekhyun. “Not even five minutes ago.”

She nodded and once the machine around your arm beeped, she looked up at you, frowning. “Aren't you feeling dizzy?”

You sighed and nodded. “Just a bit.”

“Your blood pressure is  a bit low now, for a change,” answered the nurse with an amusement, but you knew it was to lighten up your mood. You couldn’t even bother replying to that, only one thought consuming your mind: “Can I see my babies?”

Nurse looked down at you and she took a deep breath. “It’s better for you to lie down a little longer, miss, your va-“

“I want to see them now, though,” you interrupted with a weak voice and Baekhyun squeezed your hand as if asking for your attention.

“It’s better to listen to the nurse,” he advised quietly.

“You need to rest just a little longer, miss. I promise I will take you to them later-“

You had tears in your eyes again. “You took them away from me without me having a single proper glance at them,” you said, your voice raising in volume with each word. “I want to see them now. I feel good enough to see them.”

“Sweetheart, you can't walk yet,” said Baekhyun with a gentle, but resolute voice which you knew you shouldn't go against. He was running his thumb over the skin of your hand soothingly, momentarily bringing you to present and out of your little tantrum. Just momentarily, though.

“Babe, I am just fine!”

Baekhyun seemed troubled and looked up at the nurse for what you could only interpret as help.

And she did help. “Your vagina is stitched up and still healing after the surgery. You cannot walk right now.”

You gritted your teeth, angry tears spilling from the sides of your eyes. So that was the uncomfortable pain you felt down there.

“Until when,” you breathed weakly.

Baekhyun reached out his hand and ran the back of his index finger over the moisture.

“In the  morning.”

“What time is it now?”

“It’s 1am,” she said, giving you a pressed smile. “I understand it’s difficult and that you really want to see the little ones, but rest just a little bit longer and we will take you there.”

“Then how do I pee?”

“You can do it in bed,” informed the nurse as if it were good news  and pointed to a bag attached to the side of the bed you couldn’t see properly. “You are connected to this bag that will take everything you need to let out.”

Her words really hurt in a way, despite them being purely informative. How embarrassing that was. How frustrating every single thing was. You couldn’t see your babies, you couldn’t even walk and now you couldn’t even go to the toilet like a normal human.

“Can you do something with my dizziness?” you replied instead, turning your face slightly away from Baekhyun and the nurse, their gazes too heavy for you to bear. “Just something to stop it.”

“I will connect you to the IV drip,” she replied right away and you heard her write down something on the papers she was clutching to her chest now before moving to your side of the bed. “And I will come back in the morning.”

She quickly did as she said, taking your hand gently and plucking yet another injection in there, your hand and inside of your elbow now severely bruised.

Once she was out the doors, it was only the soft commotion coming from the corridors as nurses and some patients were roaming around.

You became extremely aware of Baekhyun’s touch on your hand and a couple of more tears rolled out of your eyes.

“Baby,” you heard him call silently, pleadingly.

You pressed your lips into a thin line and by now your tears were unstoppable. Humiliation and pain, all of it too much to bear and everything for him to witness.

“Oh, sweetheart, it’s okay,” he cooed when he saw your trembling chin and wet cheek. He was quick to stand up and lean over you to have a good look at your face. He took a gentle hold of it, making you look at him with worry. Despite you feeling and probably looking like death, he wasn’t far away, either. His face seemed a bit fallen, circles under his eyes more prominent and his hair was disheveled. He could still set your heart in a frenzy, though. “It’s alright, I’m here.”

“I can’t stand you seeing me like this,” you whispered quickly before a sob would beat you to it. “I really can’t, Baekhyun,” you said and turned your head away even though he was still holding you.

“No, sweetheart, don’t do this,” he let out. “It’s all only natural.”

You turned your head back to look at him. “It’s humiliating,” you spat a bit stronger than intended. “And I can’t even see the three small humans I struggled to bring to this world. I just-“ you squeezed your eyes shut and let out a sob as a series of crying sprees overtook you, finally all the emotions and pain catching up to you, bringing you to your lowest of low. “I am fucking stitched up down there!”

Baekhyun was looking at you sadly and like someone very troubled, for he had no idea how to console you or make the pain go away.

Of course, you were aware of it. You knew he was helpless, powerless and just overall clueless about everything that you were going through in that moment. Yet, he was the one who was receiving your punches, your frustrations that you couldn’t keep at bay. He was there to support you only for you to push him away.

“I know,” he said, whispering your name gently as he caressed your flushed cheek, hating to see you cry so heartbreakingly, and in response, his own eyes glistened with tears, “and I’m so sorry that I don’t know what you are feeling right now, but please know that I understand and I am here for you. I’m here and I’m not leaving and I don’t care how you look or what you do. This is how it is, so please don’t think like that. I love you,” he said urgently, his eyes searching for yours.

You met his, though you could barely make out any features of his because he was blurry. Likewise Baekhyun only saw your blood-shot orbs full of moisture as tears kept falling from them continuously.

Finally, after more sobbing, you longingly reached out to Baekhyun, hugging him to you and he quickly complied, hushing you gently as he hid his face in your neck and murmured words of comfort. His scent was lingering and it was the only thing that could ground you enough to calm your ragged breathing and bring you some peace to your troubled whirlwind of emotions.

“I’m scared of everything,” you admitted finally. “I’m scared. I don't want to be here, Baekhyun. I want to go back home and hide.”

“Soon, my love, soon. Let's hold on just a little bit longer. We can do this. You can do this.”

Let's. A powerful word. Baekhyun used it a lot, you took note. We. Us. Our. Let’s. Everything he said included you and him. Him and you.  It was never just one, it was either both or none. And right now, when you couldn't stand anything, he was there to remind you he was with you. It was not just you.

“I promise soon enough we will be home, in safety, just like you want it now. With our babies, as well,” he kept murmuring, his breath hot on your ear, the depth of his voice pulling you in like a lullaby.

You closed your eyes, imagining your tiny apartment with three off-springs in it that were made from pure love between you and Baekhyun.

You swallowed when Baekhyun went quiet, eventually deciding to just lie down next to you on the bed. You gratefully shimmied to the side, though you hissed in pain that shot up from between your legs. “Fuck, that hurts,” you groaned quietly, hiding your face in Baekhyun’s shoulder.

“Careful.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“Baekhyun,” you whispered and he hummed in reply, making himself more comfortable. “Have you… seen them?”

He was silent for a moment before humming again. “I have, sweetheart.”

You bit your lip, fighting back the tears again. “How were they?”

“Beautiful,” he was fast to whisper back and he reached out to turn off the light on the table next to your bed, engulfing the room in darkness, the only light coming from the open doors of the room. “Fragile, but absolutely beautiful.”

Tears, once again, rolled down your cheeks and fell on Baekhyun's shirt as you silently cried and he hugged you even closer, letting you cry yourself to another deep slumber.

-

It wasn't easy to stand up, as you quickly learned later that day when the nurse came in the morning, just as promised. You felt like you were going to rip apart from sharp pain down there and your veins showed on your forehead as you fought the pain away, though to no avail.

“Can't you give her something to numb it?” asked Baekhyun in concern as he held your hand when you were standing frozen, breathing heavily before mustering up the courage to make another few steps.

“We are already giving her painkillers,” answered the nurse and squeezed your hand to show you support.

“I want to see my kids,” you said decidedly, “so I will walk to them right now, even if it means I will split open.”

Baekhyun didn't seem so convinced and he would have opposed it, but it had been almost two days and you still couldn't see them.

After a long, terrible way to the incubation, you were finally met with a wide glass that enabled you to look into the room full of small incubators that were a temporary and safe home for the new-born babies. Three of those were occupied by yours and you cried the entire time until you stood above one of them, your only son inside. His eyes were closed as he was sleeping peacefully, not making a single noise. His small hands were curled up into tiny fists and you grabbed Baekhyun's hand for support, squeezing it. He was right beside you, his eyes huge as he observed the tiny body of your son.

“You were right,” you said quietly, shakily. “Beautiful. Each of them.” And so, so fragile.

Baekhyun pressed his lips to your temple, keeping them there as he murmured. “Must be after you.”

You snorted, but didn't tear your gaze away from your baby for a single second.

You did the same to your two daughters, their pink skin reminding you how fresh and raw it still was. How incredibly fragile and weak they were. How they needed technology now more than you, for you couldn’t help them despite being their mother.

“They will be out very soon,” came a quiet voice. You looked up and saw a NICU doctor smiling at you and Baekhyun in a manner that could only be called understanding.

You nodded, not knowing what to say; or more like you wanted to have your little peace with them without interruption.

“You actually came in time,” she continued as she stepped to one of your daughters' incubators and opened it. “Unfortunately, you can’t hold them just yet but you can see how they change positions.”

You and Baekhyun looked at each other before following the doctor's hand movement. She carefully took the baby's body and turned it, making the tiny body lie on its belly.

You frowned, horrified. “Wh-why are you doing that? Isn't that going to suffocate her?”

The doctor adjusted the legs, tucking the knees towards the belly, hands next to the face. She then straightened up and closed the incubator. “These positions are the closest to how the babies would be if they are still inside your belly. They help in the growth of the baby's body.”

You were so surprised at that news that you and Baekhyun slowly walked up to your daughter’s incubator, watching her tiny body curled up, her gentle body strikingly soft.

The doctor gave you another kind smile. “Have you thought about the names yet?”

Baekhyun looked down at you, though quite surprisingly, you haven't discussed it. You didn't know their gender throughout pregnancy and after birth you were trying to recover from the small surgery and mental breakdown after mental breakdown. “Not yet,” he replied, squeezing your waist to hold you up when he noticed your tired posture. “Maybe we will go back to the room now and have a little discussion, hm?” he said, the last sentence more to you than to the doctor.

“I don’t want to leave them just yet,” you mumbled, looking up at Baekhyun with pleading eyes.

The doctor slowly worked on the other babies, while Baekhyun whispered: “You are getting tired, honey. You still need to think about your own health. How will you take care of the little ones if you don't have enough energy?”

Contemplating his words, you concluded that he was correct. But emotionally, you felt guilty for not being there for your children.

“C'mon,” he said, nudging you gently, “let's have a rest. They are better here now, sleeping anyway.”

You nodded, though it was difficult to do so.

-

“So Juna, the eldest? And Junhee, second? Jun, our little boy?” you whispered excitedly into Baekhyun's ear as the both of you were lying on the bed again, giggling to each other at various names, discussing meanings behind them.

“I think it's perfect,” he smiled, kissing your temple.

Baekhyun was keen on calling his son Jun and the names for your daughters came pretty naturally, as if it was meant to be like that.

Just before you could say something, the nurse came in rather quickly, her eyes frantic. It made you tense up immediately, Baekhyun following the lead. “Miss.”

You were already sitting up, ignoring the pain in between your legs. “What happened? Something with the babies?”

Panic overtook you almost right away until Baekhyun reached for you to stop moving, forcing you to let the nurse tell you what the problem was.

“The babies are alright, but there are some reporters asking about you.”

“Excuse me?”

“Sorry, I suppose you don't know, but you made it to the news. As you know, you gave birth to triplets naturally which is very rare these days,” she rushed to explain with a bright smile aimed at you.

Your jaw fell, going into a huge shock, not even registering Baekhyun's hand running up and down your back soothingly. He didn't seem that shocked though. He must have already known.

“They want an interview - of course, none of your personal information has been released. We, as a hospital, cannot share that kind of information, but it is up to you whether you want to talk to them or not. After all, you did something fantastic.”

You couldn't catch Baekhyun's wide, and very proud smile as he watched your awed profile.

“I don't want to talk to them, thank you,” you decided, the idea not sitting well with you. “I just- I am not interested.” You held your chest. “You got me scared. I thought something was wrong with the babies.”

“I'm so sorry.” The nurse really was apologetic. “I will communicate your decision to the PR.” She hesitated for a moment before asking kindly: “Have you perhaps decided on the names of the babies, yet?”

Baekhyun nodded happily.

-

The entire week had been a huge blur. At some point you told Baekhyun to go home, rest up, shower, change clothes and to try to have some peace but he only did it when you promised him you wouldn’t move too much.

By the end of the week you could go to the toilet but only with the help of nurse, who had to help you pee, which turned out to be a very painful experience. You would have been humiliated under normal circumstances but after giving birth and them seeing literally everything, you couldn't care less. She was very supportive of you, though, and the only thing that kept you going were the days that would bring you closer to going home together with your little ones.

Baekhyun’s friends as well as Sukyeong and Chen came to visit and you were thankful for a close connection with the outside world, the hospital room already giving you slight depression. They showed you the short news that were about you, titled as “a young woman in Seoul gives natural birth to triplets”. It made you feel proud.

Sukyeong and Chanyeol both promised to come on the day of your release to help with the move smoothly. Chanyeol had a car and Sukyeong wanted to be there for emotional support for you. Thankfulness was an understanding.

Everyone was so patient with you and your little outbursts of frustration and small emotional rollercoasters. Every time you went to NICU, your heart would die a little bit, seeing your babies in such a weak state ripping your chest apart in pain. Realizing these emotions had to be newfound motherly instincts made you cry just a little harder because- you were a mother; someone responsible for their well-being, responsible for their health and happiness.

That was why, on the final day in the hospital, you fought back your tears very hard, the sight of the doctors taking out your tiny children tattooed in your memory permanently.

Baekhyun’s best friend, Chanyeol, and you’re best friend Sukyeong, we’re both outside watching you through the big window. It was a bit comical; Chanyeol the tall man whose eyes were huge already as they were, yet they doubled in size from being emotional while Sukyeong was a little energetic ball next to him, smiling brightly, her eyes getting almost lost.

“Jun, being the last baby, still didn’t open his eyes,” explained the doctor, bringing you back to the present,  as she took him out and walked towards you and Baekhyun where you were sitting just close by on the couches they had there. “But maybe when he feels his parents…” she trailed off, sending you a soft smile.

You were already holding Juna, the eldest, and you wanted Baekhyun to take Jun, his only son. The doctor handed the tiny body to Baekhyun who cradled him to his chest with great care. Jun let out soft baby noises and Baekhyun proceeded to talk to him while the doctor tended to your middle one, Junhee.

“Hey there, little pal,” you heard a soft whisper. Seeing Juna was fast asleep on your chest, you leaned your head on Baekhyun's shoulder and watched Jun’s peaceful face. “Daddy’s got you now. You’re safe with me, buddy.”

You breathed out a soft laugh through your nose, nuzzling Baekhyun’s shoulder just when you saw two huge pairs of black eyes looking at you rather sleepily.

“Oh my god, he opened his eyes,” you whispered, watching in awe as Jun was blinking slowly, taking in the world with his eyes. His eyes focused on you before moving his eyes upwards, towards the sound of his father’s voice.

“Is little Jun seeing everything for the first time?” cooed Baekhyun gently though he couldn’t see the scene, baby’s head being tucked under his chin.

Tears welled up in your eyes and your heart broke just a little bit again. Jun was the most fragile out of the three babies. Being the last one to come out and the one who was squished far back in your tummy with his two sisters in your belly, he was deprived of the vital nutritions your body was supposed to provide him while in the womb the most. Seeing him look around with curiosity and reacting to Baekhyun’s voice - it made you emotional.

You held Juna close to you as Jun looked back to you again. Maybe you were just seeing things too early on, but he seemed to have Baekhyun’s eyes; big, soft, down-turned and delicate. 

“Hi there, little one,” you let out, pressing your lips together to keep your cries in. “Welcome.”

Baekhyun looked at you with the softest smile he ever gave you. He took notice of your tear-stained cheeks but he couldn’t comment, for his own were slowly burning up in his eyes. You looked so beautiful with tiny Juna in your arms as she slept peacefully while you were gazing at your son in his arms. Despite looking exhausted, he became breathless just a little bit. Pregnancy made you thousand times more beautiful, the pregnancy glow made you shine and bubbly and attractive and incredibly desirable. Now, after giving birth, he saw you in a completely different light - as a mother of his children, and he might have fallen in love with you all over again.

Baekhyun maneuvered Jun around carefully until he was lying in his arms and he could see his eyes. Jun looked back at his father, still blinking slowly, sleepily as he curiously took in Baekhyun’s smiling features.

“Well, hello there, big eyes,” he whispered lovingly. “Are you enjoying the view?”

You giggled quietly and sighed in content.

“I think he likes you very much, honey,” you commented, watching Jun’s stare fixed on your boyfriend.

Baekhyun cooed lovingly, completely and utterly sweeped off his feet at the sight of his son looking back at him.

Just then, the doctor approached with Junhee. You gladly opened your other arm for the third baby to join you. Junhee was awake and already taking her surroundings in.

You smiled when your eyes met, the baby silently watching you. Just like Baekhyun, you cooed though a bit quieter not to disturb sleeping Juna. Junhee’ s eyes scrunched up ever so slightly in the tiniest of smiles, though for you it felt like she had a full on grin plastered on her face. Your chest was about to combust with emotions while you noticed the doctors and nurses watching you with smiling faces.

“Is it okay if we take a picture of you? So we can hang it up here to prove that everything is possible,” asked the doctor who handed you the babies.

You and Baekhyun exchanged silent glances and nodded. You might have made history today.

The picture came out beautiful. Baekhyun leaned in to kiss your temple just when the flash blinded you.

-

When you arrived at your apartment, it was crazy silent, and smelled like home. Everything was clean and put in place which made you turn to Baekhyun with a grateful smile for you knew it was him cleaning up the apartment whenever he left the hospital to go home.

Once Sukyeong and Chanyeol left, you went to the bedroom to found it being rearranged.

The mattress you and Baekhyun usually slept on was pushed to the wall and under the window surrounded by pillows. It would have to do for the babies until you could afford to buy a more proper place for them to sleep. You and Baekhyun agreed you'd sleep on the floor on the mat right next to the bed. 

Deciding you wanted to shower and to put yourself together as much as you could with your tiredness and achiness, you placed the babies in the mattress over the length so all of them would fit. They were all sleeping anyway, so you didn’t feel too guilty for letting them be for now.

“I’ll watch out for them, you go and shower,” murmured Baekhyun as he roamed in the bag that was with you in the hospital. You nodded, already taking off your shirt that was now hanging off of you as you lost a bit of the baby bump. “Will you be alright? You want me to help?”

You turned back to him but shook your head with a smile. “I’ll be fine. You watch the babies.”

“Honey, wait,” called softly Baekhyun and stood up, walking towards your awaiting figure. Once stood in front of you, he smiled and cradled your face. “Welcome home,” he whispered before kissing you on your lips softly.

You returned the kiss that made you smile as you hugged him to you. “Thank you, Baekhyun. For everything,” you mumbled against his mouth.

-

“They are sleeping so peacefully,” whispered Baekhyun lovingly as he raised his head slightly, looking at the mattress that once used to be his and yours but now three sleeping babies were preoccupying the space. Your three babies.

You hummed, not turning around to check, because you couldn't take off your eyes of Baekhyun. His eyes were sparkling, his cheeks puffy in a gracious smile as his lip was trapped between his teeth. His hand was resting on your hip, and he gave you a couple of caresses before lowering himself back into lying position on the mattress, facing you with a smile.

“What?” he whispered again, noticing your dreamy eyes.

You shook your head lightly. “Nothing. I just love you.”

Baekhyun's smile widened, but also softened. He slid the hand that was resting on your hip over your curves and arm until he reached your cheek that he cradled gently. “And I love you,” he murmured. “I love you so much, my hero.”

You smiled at the nickname he gave you, making your eyes teary.

Beakhyun brought his face closer to yours until you felt his breath fanning your lips. “I love you,” he repeated lovingly and breathed a silent kiss on your lips. Not moving away too much, he suddenly whispered, staring into your eyes: “Marry me.”

You gasped as silently as you could, your head unconsciously moving away. “Baekh-”

Just then his hand disappeared from your face and before you knew it, he was playing with your fingers, and you felt something cold being slid on the fourth finger on your left hand. He kept looking at your shocked face. “Marry me, my hero.” Once he made sure the ring was safely on your finger, he brought your hand up to his mouth, pressing a kiss to your palm, then to the ringed finger. “After everything that I put you through with pregnancy-”

“It was both of us-”

“But I put you through it unexpectedly, and I thought I would lose you because of it. What you just did last week is something incredible, my love,” he murmured urgently, searching your eyes. “So grant me the pleasure to finally become your husband I wanted to be for a long time now.”

Happy tears glistened in your eyes as you were looking into Baekhyun's expecting ones. So the moment had finally come. He proposed. After everything you've been through for years and now the past 8 months and the past week... He still wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, he still loved you and he still wanted to be yours. 

Tears rolled down the bridge of your nose and you nodded eagerly. “Yes, Baekhyun,” you whispered quickly before you would choke on a sob. “Thousand times yes,” you mumbled and were already leaning in for a kiss while you noticed his eyes also glistening, but smiling happily nonetheless. He let out a quiet, but happy chuckle as he awaited for you to come close enough and he finally kissed you, intertwining his hand with yours. The one with the ring on it.

You prolonged the kiss, having missed this kind of contact with him, and you tried to kiss him as quietly as possible, the idea of all three babies up and loud scary enough to make you behave.

Before you knew it, Baekhyun wrapped his arm around your waist and brought you on his chest while he laid back on his back, your lips still connected, both of you smiling like fools.

You separated with a quiet smooch and you excitedly brought the left hand close to your face and admired the beautiful ring, the small diamonds catching faraway light even the darkness of the room. It bore certain heaviness around it, giving it a meaning; meaning that you belonged to him.

“You like it, sweetheart?” asked Baekhyun silently as he massaged your neck slowly, then twirled your hair around his finger. 

You grinned to yourself, affection and love spreading endless warmth in your heart. Turning your head, Baekhyun’s lips stretched wide at the sight of your smile. “I love it. It’s perfect.”

“I’m glad you think so.”

“You’re perfect,” you sighed and lifted yourself up to hide your face in the crook of his neck. “You’re everything and more.”

He slipped his arms around your figure and hugged you tightly. “You’re talking about yourself right?”

You both laughed quietly as you enjoyed the silence, while keeping an eye on three sleeping babies next to you.

It really couldn’t get any better than that, you thought.

-

Managing three babies was... difficult. Waking up at ungodly hours was something both of you were strongly prepared for mentally until it actually started to happen and until you realized you had two breasts but three mouths to feed. As much as you tried to take care of the little ones with love and care, you were exhausted to the utmost limit and your breasts and back were hurting, let alone your neck wouldn’t cooperate with keeping your head up despite the daylight outside.

“Honey,” murmured Baekhyun one night, shaking your shoulder gently as you dozed off while feeding the last one, sitting against the wall. “I’ve got an idea.”

You couldn’t even create a coherent sentence, instead you just followed your fiancé to bed where two already fed kids were sleeping quietly.

“Just lie down on your side and put him next to you,” he navigated and helped you do so with gentle hands while making sure the baby was secured in your arms.

Once you lied down, almost immediately you were pulled harshly into the dreamland and you only vaguely could feel Baekhyun placing the baby close to your breast while holding his head up so he wouldn’t choke.

He pressed a kiss to your temple, nosing your cheek as he sighed tiredly and looked at Jun, who was now feeding. “You little rascals,” he murmured lovingly and took a glimpse at your almost unconscious figure.

It hurt him seeing you like this, yet he couldn’t stop the feeling of pride swelling in his heart. You were fighting every day without a break and you still found time to tend to him, too. All of these facts just made him realize how a woman was important in a household. She was everyone’s anchor.

And he wanted to make sure he was yours.

Once Jun was well fed, he let the baby keep sleeping while he shook you awake yet again and helped you back to your own small place next to the mattress.

“Thank you,” you murmured, your voice hoarse with sleep as you lied down. “I love you,” you made sure to say before letting him pull you close and finally, finally getting some very much needed sleep.

“Love you, too.”

-

“Oh, Sukyeonga,” you smiled when you opened the door, your good friend waiting on the other side with a huge and excited grin.

“Come here, mama!” she wailed and engulfed you in a huge hug that knocked the wind out of your lungs. “My beautiful friend with three!”

You chuckled and let go of her as you invited her in. “Beautiful, more like a zombie. I’m numb inside.”

She sighed as she took off her shoes and tiptoed after you with a bag dangling off her wrist. “Being a mother suits you,” she said gently, observing your features. “This is for you. A little present for two princesses and a prince.”

Taking the bag from her you saw little overall dresses in various colours and you smiled gratefully. “Thank you. This is a huge help.”

She waved her hand and peeked inside the bedroom where the babies were sleeping. “Don’t mention it. They grow very fast so the sizes are a bit bigger.” She turned back to you and both of you sat down at the small table on the floor, your already prepared tea well bred by now. You quickly poured her and yourself a small cup.

Without realizing, you felt your eyes burn with tears. “I just- it’s just hard to maintain a good life while so many threats are breathing down our necks, you know?” you said with a restricted throat and Sukyeong was fast next to you, rubbing your back in small circles. “Baekhyun is doing his best but he is literally about to end his doctoral studies and it’s very difficult for him to also lead the university’s team and whatnot.”

“Ah, dear, I know it’s difficult for the both of you. You’re still breastfeeding, right?”

You nodded, wiping your cheeks. “Yes, but I don’t know for how long I can do that,” you admitted with a stuffy nose. “When I’m finally done with the last baby, I can start over again with feeding the first… Either way, I’d love to get a job and help Baek out with meeting the deadlines but how can I-“ you choked on a sob and Sukyeong brought you to her, giving you a huge reassuring hug. “Shh. It’ll be alright. I know it’s hard. But until now the both of you have gotten through everything stronger than before. I’m sure this will also turn into your favor. You just gotta believe.”

You cried just a bit harder because your mental health was unstable and tiredness was eating you away. “Baekhyun pro-proposed,” you hiccuped on your sobs and you heard Sukyeong’s gasp as she leaned away from the hug, a look of disbelief evident on her face. “What? He proposed? For marriage?” You nodded and she sighed, a satisfied smile stretching her lips. “Finally.”

“Huh?”

“We’ve been in touch a lot,” she admitted, “he was asking for my suggestions to know if you would like the ring or not. He spent a lot of time on it. Which reminds me- show me!”

But you didn’t have to move as she grabbed your left hand and brought the hand up to her face, her gaze scrutinizing the choice of your fiancé. “That’s so pretty. We all agreed on this one. I’m glad he is a man who listens well”

“Huh?”

She giggled at your antics and let go of you to take a sip of her tea. “He asked Chanyeol and some other of his close friends, and me and Chen. We all knew but then when he planned to propose, you went into labor unexpectedly so I’m glad he was finally able to get a peace of mind. He was scared you know?”

Feeling your tears dry up on your cheeks, you quickly ran your hands over them. “Scared? Of what? Rejection?”

She nodded with a knowing smile.

You scoffed in disbelief. “I would never reject him, what was he thinking? Like he could get rid of me after making me pregnant with three kids.”

Sukyeong chuckled. “I just think,” she shrugged thoughtfully, “that he really respects you and doesn’t take you for granted. He loves you so much. He is a tough guy for sure, I wouldn't want him to kick my butt, but if there is anyone or anything that scares him, it’s you.”

You shook your head though her words were making you emotional yet again. Just then your phone beeped with an incoming message from him. You quickly leaned over the phone. 

is everything okay with the four of you? ❤️ 

did Sukyeong arrive?

“See?” Sukyeong nudged you. “It’s difficult for me not to swoon over him.”

You laughed and typed up a quick reply. You couldn’t even get jealous over her words; you might have just found yourself swooning over your fiancée as well.

Just when you were about to retort something, somebody knocked on the door. Quickly standing and rushing to grab the door, you swung it open, curious as to who could it be- except it was no one. You looked around, waiting for a few more heartbeats as if expecting someone to pop up out of nowhere but the corridor was so silent you shrugged, deciding to just close the door when your gaze fell on the floor. There was a white envelope with your name on top of it, written in an elegant font.

Frowning slightly, you crouched down, taking the letter and turning it over in your hands a few times before going back inside. Not understanding why the person didn’t leave it downstairs in the post boxes, you decided to open it right away just when Sukyeong skipped over to you, also curious at the weird delivery.

“Who is it from?”

“I have no clue and there is no name there,” you replied, deep in thought before opening the envelope.

There was only one thin paper inside, though the text on it was heavy. You skimmed it quickly over but Sukyeong was faster in understanding what the paper was about.

“What the-”

And then you gasped loudly, complete and utter shock overtaking you when you also realized what you were holding in your hand.

“Is this a freaking lotto ticket?” you asked, your hand now shaking.

“Fuck,” Sukyeong let out, covering her mouth, her eyes huge in pure shock. “One billion won?”

The paper you were holding slowly descended to the floor, your poor heart too much in shock to keep it in your grip.

The lotto ticket was on your name.

The money was yours.

You were a millionaire.

----

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[otdderamin]

Transcript: Yasha struggles against her chains - Critical Role C2 Ep60 3:27:02

In light ep C2 Ep069, this seems like a good scene to bring back. There's a lot of set-up here to what happened.

Scenes runs:

1. A Dream from the Stormlord 3:27:02 to 3:32:26

2. Yasha, Nott, Jester, and Caduceus talk it out 3:32:26 to 3:41:09

3. Yasha Confronts the Stormlord 3:41:09 to 3:54:13

  1. A Dream from the Stormlord

3:27:02 Matt: "Yasha."

Ashley, touching different parts of her face: "Huuu! Immediately red." She hides in her hood.

Matt: "In your exhaustion, the darkness comes comfortably as a night's rest, and an evening's respite. And though you don't awaken, you can feel the thunder. You can feel it roll and vibrate through your body. With each impact, there's a flash of light behind your eyes, like a heartbeat of a dull blue glow."

3:27:43 Matt makes three low rumbling thunder sounds and then a louder, sharper one. "A deafening blast of thunder shakes your eyes awake, and you are soaked, standing on the precipice of a mountain. You can see the heavy clouds before you with slight little breaches between where moonlight and stars are briefly visible before they are consumed once more by the storm." Matt makes two more thunder noises mimicking lightening striking. "Arcs of lightening shoot across the Xhorhas sky. You're cold, shivering, your hair matted over your face, you're eyes barely peeking through.

3:28:34 Matt mimics another lightning strike and thunder. "Through another arc you think you see an arm through the clouds. And it's gone." Mimicked thunder. "Another flash of light, and you see what looks like a humanoid form reaching from the storm towards you. Your instinct is to turn and run, but you watch as the head kind of turns. Another flash of light and it's gone. You sense a presence behind you. What do you do?"

3:29:27 Ashley: "I turn around and walk towards it."

3:29:31 Matt: "You turn around from the space where you're standing, and the opposite side of this mountain range is just bodies. Corpses littered and stretched out before you. Dozens and dozens of them. You can't see their faces, you just see folded arms and legs, wounds. And there, standing behind you is a shaded figure." Thunder. "The flash of light behind you emanates and briefly frames the face you see. A familiar male figure. his curved horns back from the front. His wings folded over his shoulders. His sly, grinning yellow eyes peering at you. And just looks, shakes his head, and walks away."

Ashley: "Do I recognize any of the bodies? Anything on the bodies? Is anything about it familiar to me?"

Matt: "You go towards the bodies?"

Ashley: "Yeah."

Matt: "Make a wisdom saving throw."

[After the dice is cocked 3 times, Ashley rolls a 15.]

3:31:12 Matt: "15. This figure that is familiar to you, but you don't know why or where, causes something in your heart to freeze, and you feel the fear kind of welling up in your throat, this heavy lump that's making it hard to swallow. And you try and take a step, and you have to force yourself to move. And you take another step, and you go towards one of the bodies and turn it over, and it's Mollymauk."

Shocked gasps.

3:31:51 Matt: "And you go look to the left and there's Jester. And you look past that, and you see Caleb. And you start to look around and every body is somebody who's crossed your path, somebody you've let in. You glance up and that figure just keeps walking away shaking his head." He tuts three times. Thunder. "You wake up, as the heavy thunder rolls through the hall."

Ashley: "Oh fuck."

2. Yasha, Nott, Jester, and Caduceus talk it out

3:32:26 Matt: "Nott, you kind of shake awake a little bit."

Nott: "Hn! What are you doing? You okay?"

Ashley: "Is anyone else awake?"

Nott: "Are you okay?"

Taliesin: "I am quietly awake."

Matt: "Jester's awake technically, too."

Nott: "What happened? Where are you? What's going on? What'd you do?"

Jester: "Are you okay?"

0:32:44 Yasha: "Uh, I had a… I had a very bad dream."

Nott: "Do you want some liquor?"

Jester: "Do you want to talk about it?"

Yasha: "No."

Jester: "Do you want a massage?"

Nott: "They're very hard."

Yasha, sounding distressed: "Uh, I think I'm okay."

3:33:08 Nott: "Is it a dream you've had before? Is it like one of Fjord's dreams that keep coming?"

0:33:16 Yasha: "I do keep having… dreams, but sometimes they feel like… they're very real or familiar. And I don't know if… They make me very scared."

Jester: "Is it about somebody you knew?"

Yasha: "Yes. Yes."

3:33:51 Nott: "Well, do you think it's something- sometimes dreams can be like a premonition, something in your future or could be something in your past. Did it feel like a past or a future?"

3:34:01 Yasha: "Well sometimes, they're both, but this one felt like… this was definitely not in the past, and I'm hoping that it's not in the future."

Jester: "Tell us about it. What happened?"

Nott: "We're good listeners. And also, you've woken us up."

Jester, softly giggling: "I was already awake. Don't worry about it."

3:34:30 Yasha, after a long pause: "I think I've done something very bad."

Jester: "What do you mean?"

Yasha: "I think I've done something very bad and I don't remember."

Nott: "You don't remember?"

Yasha: "Well…"

3:34:46 Jester: "Is this about when you left your- when you left your village?"

Yasha: "I don't know." She sighs. "I don't know. I'm very confused."

0:34:56 Caduceus, sleepily with his eyes closed: "What does the lord require of thee?"

Jester, poking him: "Are you asleep?"

Caduceus: "No."

Jester: "Oh."

3:35:08 Caduceus: "It's raining and there's lightening and thunder. Someone's trying to send you a message."

Yasha: "It's not a very positive message."

3:35:18 Caduceus: "That all depends on interpretations. What does the lord require of thee? Thunder and lightning. That's how I'd talk to you if I was a Stormlord."

Jester: "Is this storm just for you, Yasha?"

Yasha: "I don't think so, but if it is, I saw a…"

Jester, grinning: "Just say it. What was it?"

Nott: "Whatever it was, I'm sure it's fine."

Jester: "We can handle it."

3:35:57 Yasha: "I saw a lot of… dead bodies, and I saw… Mollymauk, and a lot of other people that I've known."

Jester: "That's very sad, Yasha."

Nott: "That's super fucked up."

Jester: "Maybe it's because we just fought a bunch of undead things, you know? Maybe you're just trying to process it."

Yasha: "It could be. It could be. It might be something that's just…"

Nott: "Do you think it could be that maybe you're doing something right or wrong or-?

Yasha: "I don't know. I think that's- that's- I…"

Nott: "Was it a warning? Was it a punishment?"

Yasha: "I feel like every time I have it it's very scary and I… It feels like I've caused something."

Jester: "Do you ever talk to the Stormlord and say like, 'Hey, what are you trying to tell me?'"

Nott: "Jester talks to her god all the time, yeah."

Jester: "Yeah."

Yasha: "No. I could try. I never really have."

Jester: "Yeah, give it a go."

3:37:05 Yasha: "But I have- I think… you both have very different relationships with your gods, and it feels much more personal, and I feel that with me it's- I've… I'm not scared of a lot of things but I'm a little bit scared of him."

Jester: "Really?"

Yasha: "But maybe that's just 'cause-"

Jester: "But you worship him?"

3:37:33 Yasha: "Well… I think he just… He pulled be out of something and saved my life so I feel like I owe him that."

Jester: "Well he seems to be paying a lot of attention to you."

Yasha, taking a nervous deep breath: "Yeah. I think I should maybe try to have some conversations-"

Nott: "Yeah, next time you have a dream, maybe you should, like, plan what you're going to say now, so you know."

Yasha: "Okay. Yeah."

0:38:02 Nott: "Like, what's your opening? You've got to have a strong opener."

Jester: "Yeah."

Yasha: "Ah…"

Nott: "'What do you want with me!'"

Yasha: "Okay."

Jester, yelling: '" Why are you being so creepy!? Just be nice, okay?"

Caduceus, making a lowering gesture: "Shh. Too loud, too loud, too loud."

0:38:16 Jester, quietly: "No I'm just kidding, I'm just… What if, Yasha, what if we- it's raining right now, it's stormy, what if we go outside and we, like, yell up at the sky right now, and you know, you can just like let it out and say like, 'Why are you trying to be creepy?'"

Nott: "He might hear you. He might hear you if he's part of the storm or something."

Yasha: "Yeah, yeah."

Jester: "Just say, 'Be nice to me! I just want to, you know…"

Nott, loudly: "Respect me!"

Jester: "Yeah. 'I'm here for you!'"

Yasha: "'Respect me! Witness me!'"

Nott & Jester: "Yeah."

Yasha: "'Why are you doing this to me?'"

Nott & Jester: "Yeah."

Yasha: "Yeah, well, okay, I'll think about it. If you guys want to sleep, I can take a watch, or, you know."

Nott: "Are you going to go out and stare- and scream at the sky?"

Jester: "If you do it, we'll just go with you just to be safe."

Nott: "Just to watch."

Yasha: "Yeah? Okay. Yeah, should we go?"

Jester: "Okay, yeah."

Nott: "Sure." Nott taps Jester's arm and leans in, "I think we just told her to go scream at the sky."

Jester: "It's going to be really cool."

Caduceus: "I'll say, actually, it's a pretty good idea. Although, I will say that I tend to have better luck finding what I need to know if I'm somewhere quiet and alone. As much as I appreciate company."

Jester: "Awe."

Nott: "Yeah, but you're the- you're like a garden god. She's the storm god, right?"

Jester: "What if what she needs is more people screaming!"

3:39:36 Yasha: "What if we just all start screaming?"

Jester: "Like, screaming like thunder."

Nott: "Yeah! Yeah!"

Yasha: "Yeah. We could try it."

Jester: "Yeah. And then we'll run back inside really fast because there could be things around that could attack us."

Yasha: "Sure. I don't know how this works, I am learning."

Nott: "Try it!"

Yasha: "I am definitely learning from this."

Nott: "Try it!"

0:39:49 Laura: "We just step right outside the door right down here."

Matt: "Okay."

Liam: "Caleb's cat creepily watches them go."

Caduceus: "Oh dear."

Matt: "So, you…?"

Ashley: "Is it still storming outside."

Matt, as the background track thunders: "Oh yeah. Very much so."

Sam and Laura: "Oh!"

Sam: "Oh, there are storm sound effects happening."

Jester: "Ooo, Yasha, it's really stormy!"

3:40:09 Yasha: "Okay, I'm gonna step forward just a little bit and… you know, just so it doesn't scare him off if you're all here."

Nott, patting Jester's hand: "Can you do something to, like, help her? Give her bravery or something? Can't you do- oh, you're out of spells, aren't you?"

Yasha: "Okay, I think-"

Jester: "I've got a first level left. I'm going to just Bless you.

Yasha: "Okay."

Jester: "I'm just going to cast Bless on you."

Yasha: "Okay, okay."

Jester, squeakily: "Just go and get- 'cause it's useful."

Yasha: "Okay."

Liam, quietly: "Just a happy little Bless. Just a happy little bless right here."

3:40:37 Yasha: "Um, I'll step out, just so I still see them, but far enough away where I feel like I have some privacy."

Matt: "Okay. So, you step beyond the exterior of the fortress. There's the courtyard and this little niche in the mountain range. The other side of the mountains kind of- as a descending V for your view before you actually head out into the mountain pass looking out over all of Xhorhas. So, you'd have to walk quite a few hundred feet to get out even into the mountain pass. You go that way?"

Yasha: "Yes."

3. Yasha Confronts the Stormlord

3:41:09 Matt: "Okay. You walk out there, cold rain drenching you in an eerily familiar way. Kind of causes you to feel a little bit of a crawling nervousness in your belly as you now begin to sensory recall-"

Ashley: "Like I am now."

Matt: "--the sensory recall of the dream you'd just woken up from. You feel the cold rain water soaking into all of your outfit and the back. You step out onto the mountain pass, you glance over your shoulder, and you can just barely see the silhouettes of Jester and Nott in the doorway."

Laura: "You see our," Jester and Nott give double thumbs up signs. Nott waves her on.

Yasha gives a thumbs up back.

3:42:00 Matt: "You go ahead and look, turn around, and you can now see, barely, the open northward barbed fields of this side of Xhorhas. The feint edges of the Vermaloch forest below you, the Wildwood. You can just in the distance see faint sparkles of light that represent Rosohna, Ghor Dranas, the capital of the Kryn Dynasty. And every few moments, arcs of lightning that spiral across the sky, through the clouds. Some down into- and tend to be focused towards the barbed fields to the north. What do you do?"

3:42:57 Yasha: "Hello? I don't quite know how to do this, but I'm trying to learn. I feel, and I know that you are trying to communicate with me, but I'm very confused. I don't know what these dreams mean, and I'm feeling scared. But I… I want to be an instrument for you. And you quite literally saved me and I want to do what I can and do whatever work that needs to be done. Are you there? I don't know if this is the right thing that I'm doing. I feel like I'm talking to nothing; are you there?"

3:44:21 Matt: "You stand there for a moment and see the flashes of light."

3:44:31 Yasha: "I think I'm… I think I'm most scared 'cause I did something… I feel like I did something bad, and I don't remember what it is. But I think I'm most nervous about what is to come, and if I will continue hurting people. and maybe that's what you've come to help me with."

Matt: "There's no response."

3:45:23 Yasha: "Well…  I will continue to follow. I will look for sings because I think that's what you're supposed to do. I know Jester draws things, draws dicks on things, `but that doesn't feel right." She sighs.

Ashley: "I kind of doodle a dick on the ground."

Laughter.

3:46:04 Yasha: "That might be something different. I think I'll sit out here tonight. Just in case you come back."

Matt: "And you stay out here?"

Ashley: "I'm gonna stay outside."

Matt: "Okay. Do you guys…?"

Nott: "She coming back?"

Jester shrugs and makes an "I don't know" sound.

Matt: "You watch Yasha kind of just sit down and lay against the side of the mountain."

Jester: "Maybe we should sleep, you know, near.

Nott: "Okay."

Jester: "Just in case something happens."

Nott: "Mmhm. Okay."

Jester: "Yeah."

Sam: "Find a little nook to- this sucks."

Laura: "Yeah underneath some leaves to try to keep dry."

Sam and Laura snuggle up together.

3:46:54 Matt: "Eventually you guys come to find. Thankfully- because the two of you can keep each other warm you manage to find some sleep." Turning to Yasha, "As do you. You're used to the rugged uncomfortable spaces of Xhorhas and living in the Theo Moorlands is not a comfortable place in comparison to where you've been with these people. But sleep comes to you.

3:47:15 Matt: "And in that sleep your wrists get cold. But not the rest of your body, just the wrists. And you try and move your body position, and you kind of glance down and you see irons on your wrists. You look and you have your withered wings draped over each of your shoulders. and you look forward and all you see is the storm, just roiling clouds. And with the next flash of light, you see the clouds part into two pale glowing eyes open before you."

3:48:17 Yasha: "You're there. Please… Please talk to me."

3:48:28 Matt: "You see no mouth, but with the next roll of thunder you hear beneath it this brimming, bassy voice, familiar from some of the visions in the past you've experienced. It says,"

3:48:43 Kord: "You are still shackled, child."

3:48:51 Yasha: "I know. Some reasons I know why, but other reasons I do not. Have I done something terrible?"

3:49:14 Kord: "We've all done terrible things."

3:49:22 Yasha: "These visions that you're giving me… where I see my friends, I don't know what that means."

3:49:41 Kord: "You have done terrible things. And you are capable of doing terrible things. Your strength is still not wholly your own. You are still shackled, child. Fight against them. Don't let the iron be your strength."

Yasha: "How do I fight against it?"

Kord: "Struggle. Push."

Yasha: "Okay."

Kord: "Struggle. Push."

Ashley: "I look down, and I try to start pulling it apart."

Matt: "You're pulling and pulling at those chains. Make a strength saving throw."

[Yasha rolls a 22.]

3:51:17 Matt: "The chains grow taught. Still freezing against your wrists. You pull and you pull, and you can hear the squeaking of iron tensing." He mimics metal squealing.

3:51:32 Ashley: "I start screaming and pulling as much as I can."

Matt: "You pull, and you yell into the storm, the rain smashing into your face, filling your mouth. You scream and you tense in anger as the storm rolls, the lightning flashing heavier, the eyes growing brighter."

Kord: "Struggle. Find what gives you your power. Where do you find your strength?"

3:52:09 Yasha: "I continue to think of… I think of Jester, and I think of Beau, and I think of Fjord, and Mollymauk, and Caduceus, and Nott, and Caleb, and Zuala, and I just keep pulling and screaming."

Matt: "Roll a strength saving throw with advantage."

[Yasha rolls a 22.]

3:52:46 Matt: "The previous weakening of the binds causes the links to pull and stretch and the metal itself begins to wain and twist. You can see your withered wings begin to feather."

Shocked happiness from the table.

Matt: "You pull and the binds to do break, and the feathers dissipate, and in that moment of sorrow and failure, the voice goes,"

Kord: "You grow stronger still. the shackles remain, but they weaken. You know your strength, use it, and struggle."

Matt: "The storm begins to pull away, the sound of the thunder dissipates, and you fall back into a night's rest."

3:54:13

 p>If you enjoy my work, consider supporting me through ko-fi, Patreon, or my shop. I'm severely disabled and it all helps justify my time spent on this project. Learn more about how and why to support me, including links.

[staliasjeronica]

Unspoken Truths - Jeronica AU Chapter Twenty

Title: Unspoken Truths

Ship: Jeronica

Warnings: Gun violence, almost-shooting, Hiram Lodge related

Chapter Twenty

The girls were anxious-although they had sent the files to Cheryl, and they had a flash drive full of incriminating files, their sneaky descent back to the ground floor, and out of the building had been smooth. Too smooth.

The truck was still there, thankfully, but it wasn't running. Toni grabbed a hold of Veronica's arm, taking a step back. "Where are the boys?"

Veronica's heart thumped loudly, so loud she took the fearful look Toni gave her as her hearing her heartbeat. "If my father hurts them, I-"

"Don't worry, mija," Hiram Lodge stepped out from the shadows the trees provided, holding both Sweet Pea and Fangs by the backs of their jackets. Their mouths were taped shut, and their ankles and wrists were bound with rope. "these lowlives are okay... for now. I can have the cops called onto them for trespassing, and that'll be the last you hear from them."

Veronica placed herself between Toni and her father, partly as a way to show her father she wasn't backing down, and partly because she could secretly pass the flash drive to Toni. "Really? Well, sure, you could do that, but I don't think the police would find it normal for them to be bound and gagged, don't you? Let them go, daddy, this is between us."

"Give me the flash drive, Veronica," Hiram demanded, holding his arm out. She crossed her arms pointedly, and he knew he was going to have to push her to her limit-way past it, actually, as he retracted his hand and pulled out a gun, then placed it to Fangs' head. "I'm sure the kid who survived a gunshot won't survive this one."

Fangs' eyes widened as they filled with frightful tears. "Veronica, don't. My life for the Serpents."

"Shut up," Hiram snarled, pushing the end of the gun into Fangs' head. "Ronnie, don't listen to him. Give me the flash drive, and your little boyfriends won't end up with bullets in their heads."

Veronica gulped down the bile that rose in her throat. She snarled, "you're a monster, daddy. You need to be stopped... but not at the lives of a sweet boy who doesn't deserve the shit he has to go through." She dropped to her knees, almost as if it were a way to show her father that she was giving in to him. "Toni, give me the flash drive."

"He's going to shoot him anyways," Toni defiantly took a step back, almost as if she were daring Veronica's father to pull the trigger-but she would never wish that upon Fangs. "All we are to him are poor South Side teenagers. One less on the streets wouldn't matter to your father. Once we hand him the flash drive, he's going to kill them, anyways."

"But we don't know that for sure-"

"Don't give him the flash drive, it's all we have to take him down," Fangs cried, clearly bluffing, although Veronica applauded him for doing so when his life was quite literally hanging on the pull of a finger.

"Just give me the damn drive, Veronica!" Hiram snarled. "Do it now, or I will blow his brains out."

Veronica sniffled, turning around to Toni. "If you care for Fangs, you'll give me the flash drive right now."

Toni looked away, tears cascading down her cheeks. "We're so close to being free, Veronica. We'll never get another chance like this..."

"And Fangs survived being framed for Midge's murder, a gunshot to the stomach, and the shitty lifestyle of the South Side, and he's going to go out because of my dastardly father?" Veronica whispered, shaking her head in refusal. "No. I won't let that happen. I won't let him take away somebody else's life."

Toni let in a shaky breath and handed Veronica the flash drive. She shakily took it, and faced her father with a locked jaw. "I hate you."

Hiram smiled in victory, then sighed as he laughed lightly. "Pinkie's right. Why would I let these teenagers go back to living like little rats?" The cock of the gun brought out a fearful gasp from Toni and Veronica's lips, and hearing the gunshot go off earned a sob from them as well. However, instead of a body falling to the floor, it was the clattering fo a gun.

The girls turned around and found Hermione with a gun pointed towards her husband, a scowl on her features. She had shot him in the leg, which he clutched painfully. He quickly grabbed a hold of the grip, but Jughead walked into the scene with a small laugh, crushing his fingers under his boots. "Must suck to be betrayed by your own family. Us Jones', the Serpents... we would never."

"Well, clearly Toni would, but that's not my business, is it?" Betty humphed, crossing her arms as the small group eyed Toni.

"He wouldn't shoot Fangs until he got the flash drive. If we made him believe this was truly all we had, keeping Fangs alive is all that would get him what he wanted," Toni rolled her eyes at them all, "I love Fangs, why would I want him dead over a flash drive that has the same files as what Cheryl has?"

"Your rule is over, Hiram," Hermione bent down with a sinister smirk playing on her lips. She grabbed a fist full of his hair and made him look at her, "you'll rot in jail, I'll make sure of it. And you're never going to touch Veronica and I, or any of the Serpents, ever again." Throwing his head back down, she stood back up. "I called the police after I helped Betty and Jughead go, so they should be here in a minute."

Veronica mimicked her mother and bent down to face her father. He looked up, his face paling as the pain overtook his senses. "The Lodge name will no longer be associated with your criminal activities. Mom and I are going to move on, and fix the mold you created in Riverdale. Oh, and a compensation to Fangs' family is going to be paid for the traumatic shit you put him through."

The police sirens in the distance slowly grew louder as they echoed around the town.

Jughead wrapped his arms around Veronica's waist with a cocky smile, grinning wildly at her. "And now we can finally go back to our lives. We can figure out what we're going to be, we can rebuild the Serpents into what they should be with Toni, Sweet Pea, and Fangs... and we can just be teenagers."

Veronica placed a tiny kiss on his lips. "I can't wait to get my life back on track... but maybe first we should, you know, help Fangs and Sweet Pea out of the tape."

"Shit, right," Jughead sucked in his lips as he whipped out his pocket knife and ignored their playful glares as he cut them out of the tape that bound them. "Sorry, guys."

"You're lucky that we're just happy to be alive," Fangs murmured while him and Sweet Pea embraced, and he dug his head into his chest. "I love you, Pea."

"I love you, too, Fogarty. Try not to die, okay?" Sweet Pea chuckled lightly, "if somebody pulls a gun on you again, I'm going to do something you'll hate."

"Well, it's not my fault people hate me enough to pull guns on me," Fangs huffed. "But please don't get your stupid ass arrested, okay? Veronica would kill me."

Veronica took a couple of steps forward to ruffle their hair with a light smile, "oh, shut up, boys... I'm glad you're okay."

"You too," Sweet Pea nodded, then he wiggled his eyebrows towards Jughead. "Now go figure out your relationship with Jughead."

"Speaking of, Betty!" Veronica turned so quickly, the blonde jumped in fright. "I wanted to thank you for creating a distraction. If you hadn't had stepped in at that moment, we would have been caught."

Betty bit down on her bottom lip and glanced down at the floor, "well, you said I needed to find a way to insert myself into the plan like I always do. Why not be reckless with Jughead one last time before I take a breath and ask my mom to place me in therapy?"

"Oh, my God, really?" Veronica cooed, "that's so great, Betty! I'm glad you're finally taking steps to get better."

And, surprisingly, Veronica wrapped her arms around Betty's waist, "whoa, you're hugging me. This sure brings me back to when you first came to Riverdale and we were best friends. I... miss that."

Veronica laughed lightly, "yeah, me too. I hate constantly fighting you... so what do you say we go out for something to eat later and catch up a bit?"

"I thought we were going to-"

"Jughead, that can wait until tomorrow," Veronica interrupted with a stern look as she stepped away from her hug with Betty. "But, Jughead, I'm done pretending I don't have feelings for you, okay? I want to try us. But I also want to make sure I'm not going to be poisoned or something."

Betty scoffed, "as if I'd poison you over Jughead."

Veronica eyed the cops as they pulled into the parking lot, then she glanced at Betty with a gentle smile. "Good, because chicks before dicks."

"Hey, I'm not a dick!"

"Shh, the cops are here. Time for the final end of the plan," Veronica snickered as Jughead gaped at her in the corner of her eye. "To watch my father go to jail, for good, and I can relax for what might be the first time in my life.”

And that is the end of Unspoken Truths! I know it ended horribly, but I might add on another little chapter of something cute for later in life, or something. I don't know, but I kind of wanted to leave it up for interpretation for you. Thank you so much for reading this, and here's to our hope that Jeronica will become canon!

[hellaintthatbad]

Bungou Stray Dogs Atsushi x Dazai

Dazai ran through the rain, the dark silhouettes of containers passed his eyes but he didn’t pay attention to them. He ran through the rain in the search of something, no someone, way more important than any of these containers could have been. And he was followed by another shadow, a man in a hat, scarf and suit, long red hair wet and stuck to his face, being too busy holding onto his hat than to push it away. Dazai’s brown hair however laid back, his speed and the howling wind of the port blew it away.

“Atsushi!”

Dazai’s desperate shout didn’t go far, the wind was too strong, the splatter of raindrops against metal too loud. His voice was raspy from already screaming for the boy for hours.

Dazai was in a bar with Chuuya as he got the call and never stopped since. Kyouka’s voice has trembled as she reported of Atsushi’s getaway. Her body has trembled too, probably, taking from the amount of times she let the phone fall down during the call, she was in no good state. Luckily she called Dazai first on not the police.

The bar had been on the other side of town but the man didn’t care about taking a car, the traffic would have just held them back. And he knew enough shortcuts to come to the port quite fast.

“Atsushi! Come out!”

The silence following his shout was cruel. It ripped his chest in half, churned his stomach and made his knees weak.

Then something new was to hear against the rain.

Something familiar.

Screams.

Screams of men in utter fear of pain and death.

Dazai has caused such screams himself before, of course he had, but they still hurt him. They hurt him because he knew the one causing them wasn’t doing so intentionally.

They rounded a few more corners and the man covered in bandages felt a mighty aura being created behind him.

“No, not this. He isn’t supposed to die. Chuuya, let me take care. Call a cab or whatever, just stay away from him for all our sakes!”

Chuuya just huffed and took the next turn to the right which led to a payphone. Dazai however just nodded to him and kept running straight towards the screams.

Even his bones were wet as the brown-haired got to the place of action. The big, black and white tiger stood above a shredded body, his claws lingered in the air, ready to tear again. Another man leaned over a woman, a useless try to protect her, she was already bled out. A lean figure, unable to identity due to the darkness, pressed their body into a corner to hide.

“Atsushi!”

Dazai halted behind the tiger in safe, yet intrusive distance.  The beast slowly turned his head. The cold, blue eyes fixated on him, scanned him, searching for movements of attacking. Then, careful not to leave any part of his body exposed, it turned and stood over his prey.

The tiger bared his teeth and got ready to jump at Dazai, its tail puffed up and the back hair stood up. Dazai also got ready, not to attack, but to dodge and still touch the animal. Who, being aggressive and disturbed while eating, interpreted this falsely and jumped at Dazai.

The next movements of both were so fast, the human could barely recognize them. Blink, and where a tiger and a man collided laid said man with a grey-haired boy in his arms, the boy still slightly conscious. Tears were falling down his face, he moved his hand to swipe them away but was too weak and it fell back to the ground.

“What did I do? Did I hurt anyone?”

The boy’s words came out raspy and broken, sobs shook his body slightly, his whole image was one of miserable.

“Sshhhh. Atsushi, it’s okay. They’re okay. You just scared them a bit. It’s okay, you’re okay now. I’m here.”

A woman’s sob dismantled his lie, a word ‘monster’ was able to identity and the panic in Atsushi’s eyes grew.

“Dazai, don’t let me turn. Please, don’t let me. I don’t wanna hurt more! I can’t hurt more! Please!”

His agitated state just let his body become more exhausted and unconsciousness neared.

“Don’t let me. Don’t let me go… Please, just hold me, don’t let me go… Hold me…”

             The next thing Atsushi sees is the light ceiling of the Agency’s infirmary, a blanket tugged up to his chin, his right hand warmer than the rest of him.  He turns his head to see Dazai sleeping in the chair next to his bed, holding his hand tightly. The younger squeezes the linked hand and causes the other to stir awake.

“Hey sleepyhead, you better? Akiko was already getting her hopes up.”

“Yeah, I’m okay. How long was I asleep?”

“Just a few hours. Are you hungry?”

“Not really, just still tir..”

The door interrupted him. Junichirou walked in, not even bothering to knock.

“Dazai, the Boss wants to talk to you. Don’t know why, seems important though. Oh, hey Atsushi, you better?”

“Yeah, he is, tell Fukuzawa I’m coming. Atsushi, are you okay with being alone for a few minutes? Try to sleep some more, your body is still exhausted. I’m coming back as fast as possible.”

The boy only nodded and Dazai left the room, wrinkling his forehead in concern.

“You know, he was here all the time while you slept, holding your hand and even refused to go and eat something. You must’ve scared the shit out of these people if he was so worried. I’ve never seen him staying here this long.”

Without even waiting for a response, Junichirou also left the room, so Atsushi just laid down again and thought about his words, falling back asleep without any struggle.

In his dream, he was yet again at the port and hovered above those people, but this time Dazai didn’t come to help him. He saw himself rip apart the bodies of innocent and didn’t have a say in it, he couldn’t control his body. The tiger fed on the flesh and when he was finished, he didn’t stop. He ran further towards the city, towards humans to kill. The first people he encountered were two guards and he killed both without even blinking.

The beast became stronger the more people it ate and by the time they reached the Agency, Atsushi was barely able to even think. His paws sprinted up the stairs and he barged into the bureau, instantly killing Naomi with the door. Next was Junichirou, he attacked as Naomi landed on the ground. He too was dead before he knew it. Ranpo hovered underneath hiss table, but his rapid breath gave him away and soon blood flood from his neck. Kunikida tried to summon a gun, but the tiger ripped his notebook apart and tore apart his chest.

Atsushi mentally vomited as his body took a bite on his friend.

Then a heartbeat was at the door, the striped monster turned around and Dazai entered their sight. The boy’s heart made an unusual jump, but instantly stopped when he saw the other’s face, the look of disgust more prominent than anything else.

“How could I think that you were a plus for the Armed Detectives? You’re nothing but a monster. I should’ve let Chuuya kill you, or better kill you back at the warehouse. They were right to hunt you. At last, you’re nothing but a disgusting beast within a more disgusting boy. You killed all my friends! You belong in a zoo!”

Atsushi was crying by then, but the tiger bad other plans. He jumped at the brown-haired, claws tripping with blood. The man got out a knife and shoved it into the tiger’s chest. As the form shrank, the disgust only grew.

             Atsushi woke up with a broken scream, his arms had turned into paws and claws tried to rip apart everything that was within reach. Junichirou and Naomi were covered in scratches as Dazai entered and rushed over to them, laying a hand on the boy’s leg as soon as possible.

He fell unconscious for a second, however opened his eyes after only a few shallow breaths. His eyes were back to their usual yellow and purple, the warm colors stood in contrast to the ice blue pupils the tiger gave him. Though they widened as he noticed the bleeding scratches on his friends.

“I’m so sorry! Honestly. I didn’t want to hurt you. It was a mistake. I’m so sorry!”

Dazai interrupted his rambling by laying a hand on his shoulder. Sobs escaped the kid, his hands trembled before he closed them into fists.

“Guys, let your wounds get stitched up. I’m taking care of him.”

The siblings left them at that and Dazai sat down, closed his arms around the younger and pulled him against his chest. Atsushi was full-on crying now and clenched onto his trench coat.

“I’m so sorry! I even hurt my friends, I couldn’t even control him this much, it’s useless! All I’m doing for you guys is cause problems! I should go, I should keep a safe distance, go away, leave Japan! I can’t even sleep without you there! You have a life too! And I’m just holding you back with my problems!”

“Hey… Shh…”

His voice let Dazai’s body vibrate against Atsushi’s head and calmed him down so much that he could take a few normal breaths before looking up.

“I don’t think you’re a burden to any of us. You are our friend. We all had our problems while training. It’s okay to struggle. It’s human to struggle. And I don’t mind taking care of you. I will help you. We all will. And don’t think for a moment that we would let you go, you are a part of our Agency! Your problems are our problems. Especially mine, I dragged you here. So stopped whining, get better and start training.”

“But what if I hurt someone again? This dream I had, it felt so real! I killed so many people, I killed our friends! And it didn’t stop until you killed me!”

At this, Dazai flinched heavily.

“Atsushi, you do understand that I could never kill you, right? You mean too much to me that I could ever do that?”

“How can you be so sure? The tiger could always attack you, hurt you so bad…”

Dazai didn’t let him finish this thought. He pressed their lips together, his eyes were shut, a hand laid on a pale cheek, the other shoved into gray hair. Two hands clenched harder at his trench coat. As they parted, he opened his eyes and looked into multicolored ones. Breath hit his lips. He smirked.

“See why I couldn’t let go? Why I won’t let the tiger go wild again?”

Atsushi only nodded. Then, he backed away and patted on the now free part of the bed. And blushed heavily.

At this image, the older only chuckled, pulled off his shoes and settled down.

As his head hit the pillow, lips met his own.

“Thank you.”

These were the boy’s last words for a few hours. He slept tightly, cuddled into his chest. And as the man wrapped his arms around him, he considered for the first time in a long while taking off the bandages just so that he could fully feel the heat radiating from the slender figure.

<Some extra bc I can>

A few days have passed and Atsushi and Dazai didn’t do much ‘couply’ stuff, except for holding hands when Atsushi was nervous or sitting closer when they were at the café. Dazai picked up on Atsushi because he didn’t want to be so affectionate and make others uncomfortable. The older was annoyed by it.

So, as one morning the grayhead came into the agency and stood next to him, he, unnoticed by Kunikida who he was talking to, slid a hand into the younger’s back pocket and squeezed his butt. Atsushi squealed and blushed so much he looked like a tomato.

“Are you okay?”

Kunikida looked down at the boy, an eyebrow rose questioning.

“Yeah, yeah, just remembered something I need to do, excuse me!”

With that he stormed to his desk, sat down and rummaged through a drawer.

Kunikida turned back to Dazai, not further caring about the strange behavior of a strange boy.

             Dazai kept on teasing Atsushi, one time he leaned on his shoulder while he was working on some papers, arms hanging down and grazing his butt. He even laid a hand on his lap and drew circles on the clothed leg, coming dangerously close to a certain area.

             Two days and a lot of teasing later it was especially warm and Dazai tried drowning in the river (at least that’s what he told everyone as he stepped into the Agency dripping wet). He shrugged off his coat and got rid of his vest before pulling off his tie, ‘accidentally ‘ using too much power and it landed behind Atsushi, who was sitting on his desk talking to Junichirou.

Innocent looking, the brown-haired went over to them and leaned onto his love interest. Who let out a surprised yelp and leaned back but frowned as Dazai smirked and held up the accessory. Then his eyes flashed up, he grabbed his collar and shoved the man into the wall.

Without missing a beat he kissed his boyfriend with more passion then he himself would’ve expected. Dazai moaned into the kiss as Atsushi pushed his leg between his own, lips moving  in synch. For mere seconds they parted, breathing heavily and staring into love-glazed orbs before hands move into gray hair and pulling them back together. Their second kiss lasted longer; it wasn’t as messy and rushed as the first one.

They were yet again interrupted by Kunikida’s throat clearing. Atsushi moves back, turns around and mumbles a quiet “Sorry” before sitting down at his desk.

Dazai however put on his remarkably smirk, ruffled the boy’s hair and ask elegantly “What is it, Kunikida?”

“Well, how much you may have enjoyed your little ‘moment’, we still need to plan this through, and if you want to kiss him again, we better do this good. The Port Mafia is involved, and I don’t need to remind you of what happened last time, do I?”

Dazai sighed, pecked his still blushing boyfriend and got back to work, though his smirk had turned into a happy smile. For once, suicide was completely out of question.