kim-lecter

[toboldlymuppet]

newfound fave lil creachers

[hardlyinteresting]

Just some thoughts on Hotch and Foyet because they've been rattling around in my brain for a long time now

I've seen some jokes about the “sexual tension” between Hotch and Foyet. And I have seen jokes about Hotch being Foyet’s gay awakening, or being so hot that Foyet changed his target base.

I don't think these memes or jokes were made with malicious intent, but I do think they miss the point entirely.

George Foyet hates Aaron Hotchner. He's obsessed with him because Aaron doesn't give in to him. Aaron doesn't take the deal Foyet offers. He refuses to stop hunting The Reaper and in doing so he strips power away from Foyet.

The Reaper is a sadist. He kills for power and for pleasure. He intimidates and manipulates to inflict psychological harm and prolong suffering. Like Hotch says, Detective Shaunassy is very much a victim of The Reaper even if he never laid a hand on him.

Hotch is determined to catch The Reaper and it puts a target on his own back. The only way for The Reaper to regain the power he feels is slipping is to show Aaron what he can do. It's why he goes out of his way to change his kill tactic and take out the people on that bus. Hotch blames himself for their deaths (wrongfully so) and in that moment The Reaper wins, even if just briefly.

George Foyet steals Morgan’s credentials and leaves the bullet for him to show the power he has. And it does intimidate Morgan, but it also pisses him off. And it pisses Hotch off.

When Foyet attacks Hotch in his own home he stabs him. Multiple times. And he stabs him in the same places he stabbed himself. Every act is a display of power.

Foyet himself comments on the profile of stabbing as substitute for sexual penetration. He goes out of his way to make a comment about what it must mean if he's stabbing men now.

He tortures Hotch, and mocks him with his own profile. Hotch tells Emily later on that he passed out quickly, that he doesn't remember what happened, but we know that this isn't true. Aaron was awake. He remembers. And he's ashamed that he was violated and he hates that he knows the team knows what it means. He can lie and say he doesn't remember it, so that he doesn't have to talk about it, but the facts are still there.

But Foyet doesn't stab Hotch because he's sexually attracted to him. The same way that r*pe seldom has any correlation to actual sexual desire. It's about power, and power excitation.

George Foyet hates Aaron Hotchner and he's obsessive about it. They stand toe to toe as power equals and George needs to tip the scales. It reminds me in a lot of ways of the grave scene in Saltburn actually. And the intersection of obsession and hatred. And how intimacy is the most powerful way to destroy someone. Stabbing is personal. Stabbing is intimate. It's violating. And in Foyet’s case it's still a substitute for penetration, it's sexually motivated, but it has nothing to do with attraction and everything to do with power.

But Hotch isn't the first man he's stabbed. Foyet himself was. I also think that because of the power balance and subsequent imbalance between Hotch and Foyet, there's a lot to be said about Foyet envisioning Hotch as a different side to the same coin. It's very much the classic hero versus villain set up. Very Batman and the Joker. And I think there's a lot to be said for the fact that Foyet shows Hotch his own scars and intentionally recreates them.

Basically, despite there being no ill intent, and despite the fact that I do understand the intended joke/ humor in the memes and things, they leave a bitter taste in my mouth. Aaron Hotchner is Foyet's victim in so many ways, and it's far deeper than the surface physical harm and the oblivious psychological fall out like losing Haley, or fearing for Jack’s life.

[shinranposting]

are you aware of what will happen in the movie 26? according to the alleged kiss between Conan and Ai?

Hello Anon! I've been getting questions about the movie 26 for a while now, and now that there's more information, I'll answer. I don't watch DC movies, but I've been on twitter lately, and I've found out absolutely everything. I will make a long answer as it has been extremely controversial, and because I feel some points need to be clarified.

(From here, spoilers begin)

Yes, I am aware of the scene, and I know the spoilers are true. That kiss (actually CPR) does happen.

In this regard, first of all, I take this opportunity to say that nothing justifies the chaos and hatred that has been formed. As much as you love ShinRan, they are fictional characters in a fictional series and nothing justifies wishing Gosho Aoyama dead (I've seen memes of him in coffins!). It has been an unnecessary and childish drama.

On the other hand, I can understand the annoyance. I myself, as soon as I read the scene in detail, which is verified by many sources, felt uncomfortable, even more knowing that Gosho in interviews said that he had personally made this scene. Apparently the scene is: Conan loses consciousness in the ocean and Haibara does a CPR. On the way out, Haibara's inner voice says, "You don't know, but we kissed." They then run into Ran, and Haibara pretends to be unconscious so Ran can give her CPR to return the Conan's kiss. Totally unnecessary scene! So, I can understand the annoyance of some people, since, just now that they are an official couple, and after years without any content, they decide to make a movie with this fanservice, which, considering their couple status, it feel uncomfortable and out of place. Even so, you can feel upset/sad/disappointed, but generating such a level of hate and lack of control, that even the official DC account has had to issue an official statement, is absurd!

It is also important to understand that the movies are not canon and don't affect the plot at all. In fact, I don't even see them! Likewise, all the sources don't show anything romantic, and it is clear that the couple is Shinichi and Ran, and nothing else, so there is no implication in the canon. On the other hand, I also don't think that Gosho, as some now say, is now supporting CoAi for this scene, he simply wanted to play with the non-canon scenario making a shocking scene that he would never do in the manga, and he didn't think about the impact that would generate.

In any case, I think that, despite everything, something positive can be drawn from this. It's obvious that the Detective Conan staff knows the displeasure, so I wouldn't be surprised if there's a ShinRan case very soon, in an attempt to put out the fire xD

[pipitwrites]

Detective au + unexpected virgin

for the tropes mash-up meme, thank you for allowing me to write chalex sflkdjlkjlgj 💕💕💕

AND NOW FOR ABSOLUTELY SILLY LEVELS OF SELF INDULGENCE... alex is a #schooldetective in the vein of shinichi kudo from detective conan (but you know without the magical science deaging, also i'm putting him in college because i don't want to write a high school au at this time, that's just far too long ago in my past now LMAO). at college, he is using his detective skillz for longform investigative reporting in the school paper, covering topics like how the university has been trying to kill the grad students union from forming. he is on a fancy skiing trip/retreat with the rest of the editorial staff when a big storm hits and everyone at their weird, fancy ski lodge is essentially trapped inside, without cell/wireless service (note that the retreat is partially subsidized by staff photographer lando norris's wealthy connections).

alex is mostly fine with this turn of events as he's actually not very good at skiing, but charles, the arts editor who has his own gear, is very put out and antsy and sighing all over their room (alex absolutely does NOT have a lot of feelings about how charles had asked alex if he wanted to be roommates for this trip). so

suddenly the power goes out and there's a scream from the direction of the kitchen. when the lights flicker back on, the two the mysterious and kind of creepy lodge caretaker is dead, so now it's a locked room ski lodge murder mystery, and alex & charles have to find out who the murderer is !!! for justice and because as things stand now they were the closest to the scene of the crime (TM). anyway shenanigans, turns out the ski lodge they are in is, like, the clue mansion of ski lodges and there are all sorts of hidden trapdoors hidden behind dusty tapestries.

alex could probably work faster by himself but charles is also implicated and there is a murderer on the loose, so it's safer for them to stick together. this is what alex tells himself when they are carefully making their way down a dark, cobwebbed secret passageway and charles's hand clings tightly to his. also, charles actually knows art and he's the one who recognized the fragmented unicorn tapestries scattered throughout the building as a sign.

"i didn't know," alex says stupidly, the words spilling out. charles's hand begins to pull away and alex stumbles over his words, trying to fix things. "just... you could have anyone you wanted."

"yes, and it is you," charles explains, his grip tightening again. alex squeezes back.

anyway. thankfully this is NOT a story i am actually writing because my brain is no thots head empty on how to actually write a whole murder mystery. but obviously alex figures out who the true murderer is and the motive (probably something to do with contested ownership of the fancy creepy ski lodge/mountains), and they solve the case after some danger to life and limb. and then they kiss & become boyfriends. ❤️❤️❤️

[olivereactsaboutgarbage]

Higurashi When They Cry - Watanagashi Chapter 11

New year, new schedule. I realized "posting daily until doing so is unsustainable and then taking very long breaks" isn't actually faster than the slow and steady approach. Turtles were right all along, though I'm not sure how many of them were. That's why from now on my new schedule is going to be Two Posts A Week. Yes. Yes yes.

Speaking of the weak, Keiichi and Rena. They're sleepy. Mion, meanwhile, isn't even present. Keiichi thinks Mion might not exist.

At school, everyone is taking the disappearance of some Toddlers very seriously. How strange. Unfortunately, for school to be normal, Mion would have to exist. It all sucks for everyone.

Keiichi and Rena try to have a Lunch Arc, but they flub it because of the writer's strike, so I'm not even going to dignify it with a detailed analysis.

Rena decides to shift gears and give Keiichi secondhand Women Exposition instead. Keiichi thinks the exposition sounds wrong and bad, and Rena agrees, so they decide to solidify the Watanagashi arc of Higurashi as one all about people using the wrong sinks out of an inflated sense of superiority.

the second half of this sentence is not what the first half of this sentence led me to expect

Rena reveals that the Toddlers had been in the middle of a culinary project which they left half-unfinished.

Dumb Fuck!

Seeing Rena activate Detective Mode is awesome though. She really IS like one of those young girls who can read the blue text. Now we just need Keiichi to kick his "guy whose text is often blue" quotient up a notch.

Rena says that Toddler 01 is so inferior to Toddler 02 that she even sucks more at garbage cans. Fascinating.

Wow! I'm learning so much from reading Higurashi!

Also wow, I just noticed, she is really killer at reading the blue text. Um, no pun intended I guess.

Rena reveals the final ace up her sleeve: The Toddlers didn't have any soy sauce.

i wish i lived in hinamizawa, i could get so much free soy sauce

and bread pudding, maybe

Rena does her Sherlock Holmesian monologue where she says it was all the malicious work of a soy sauce saboteur. "Who was the saboteur?" asks Keiichi. "lol idk anyways acab" says Rena, and leaves.

Keiichi also leaves, and he and Rena go to the same place, and it's a cop place. More specifically it's the location Ooishi happens to be in, which is Keiichi's house he sleeps at every day. Keiichi decides to plant some death flags and then make Rena leave.

what a fucking nightmare person

Ooishi reveals that the mayor had hemorrhoids. Wow, that reminds me of my favorite meme song!

Keiichi makes a deduction and then gets immediate amnesia. Classic Keiichi.

Keiichi is confused about where Shion's awesome mayor incident fits into the mayor's busy schedule. He's really confused and possibly about to explode.

Ooishi asks what the big deal was with the temple, and Keiichi is like "Um, literally nothing?" and then curses his own bad habit of revealing information. Yes, the bad habit which he has: revealing information.

Hmm I don't like that Ooishi keeps saying things like "Everyone who went in is being sacrificed, y'know?" and "I had no choice but to ask you, Keiichi, since you went in there, y'know?" Is there going to be a dramatic Shion death reveal?

Oh. The answer was yes, five seconds after I asked. By which I guess I just mean "Ah, Keiichi finally noticed."

Oh, the NEXT day? Like RIGHT after?

Ah, I guess all Keiichi's intimate phone conversations must not have happened then. That. Seems true. Yes.

Oh, that's an awesome trick. He could use that to acquire more piss.

Lol

Anyway I don't have the slightest inkling what's going on. THIS is the arc that's supposed to be easier to figure out than the Rena one? How messed up were the events of the Rena one, then?!

Keiichi screams so hard the scene transitions, and now he's waiting for the obligatory Shion section of this chapter.

Ah yes, the extremely real ladder incident.

Anyway, the obligatory Shion section of this chapter occurs.

Shion immediately learns that Keiichi is home alone.

Classic Keiichi.

Keiichi wants to ask Shion if the Toddlers are okay, but he gets scared that what she says will make him scared, so he asks Shion if the mayor is okay and she says "No," and he gets scared.

String music??? Is playing??? What is this, Umineko?

me when i'm listening to someone sobbing

You should probably have doubts my dude

These twerps really are two peas in a pod huh. That's scary.

Shion is scared of Keiichi again. Keiichi tells her to tell him a longer mayor story so he gets less confused and doesn't explode in the future.

Ah but Shion doesn't live in Hinamizawa. Are Shion and Mion Parent Trapping REALLY REALLY HARD with ultra commitment to the bit? That'd be extremely abnormal.

Unfortunately, Keiichi relatable moments. Um, minus the part where he's having a phone conversation with a crying person. That's categorically not a thing I do, for several reasons. Um, anyways.

Shion enters Comedy Mode and brings the obligatory Shion section of this chapter to a close.

Meanwhile, in Side Story Land...

Isn't that the backstory of that trans girl from that fighting game? I dunno, I don't play games from genres that SUCK.

Allegedly, Mion has a tattoo covering her entire back. Bah, modern media, always with the female characters whose backs are covered in tattoos. One day in the name of gender equality I'll do that to a male character. ...Actually, that might already exist and be called Yakuza. I dunno, I don't play games from series that SUCK.

It would be really fucked up if Ooishi was just completely lying his ass off about Shion having been gone for days, but actually she was just chillin' the entire time. I don't think that's what's happening but it would be fucked up. Ooishi's mahjong buddies seem to be his devout followers also, unless that's part of the rules. I dunno, I don't play games that SUCK.

[the-overanalyzer]

Eternally Yours - Batman Eternal #8

Second Bananas

In the pantheon of superhero supporting characters, some names are more recognizable than others. Vicki Vale, for instance, might never be Bruce's one true love, but she was still played by a big-name actress in a major motion picture. She's got a pretty well-defined character and a certain amount of mainstream cultural credibility.

Jason Bard, on the other hand, is mostly notable for how un-notable he's always been. He's been a supporting character on and off since the 60s, where he's usually Barbara Gordon's current or ex-boyfriend, but has occasionally starred in backups. Mostly he occupies the same tier on DC's detective roster as Tom Tresser does on the spy roster: when all the marquee players are spoken for, and you don't want to put in the effort of creating a new character, this guy will definitely be available, and the 5% of your readers who actually remembered he exists might just get a kick out of seeing him. He's exactly the kind of character the Glup Shitto meme was created to describe. Eternal might be the most page-time he's ever gotten in a single run since before Crisis on Infinite Earths, and the only other time I can recall seeing him in the last decade is as Artemis' new boyfriend in two scenes of Young Justice: Phantoms.

[eccebitch]

I was tagged by @spacecowboycunt. I'm not tagging anyone else bc I don't really pay attention to who my mutuals are on this thing,. If you want to do this, consider urself tagged.

last song: the last song I listened to was The Old Man's Back Again (Anthem For The Neo Stalinist Regime) by Scott Walker (not that Scott Walker).

Favorite color: poison green

currently watching: the first and only season of True Detective, and Percy Jackson and the Olympians. Two great tastes that... taste great.

Last Movie: I watched Kill Bill 1 yesterday and it was... fine. I'd never seen it before. I totally get why peple went insane for it back in the day, and I get why it spawned so many memes, but god the pacing is fucking dire. I'm not even talking about the achronistic structure, I just hate fight scenes that get that bloated.

spicy / Savory / Sweet: Umami.

Relationship Status: hahahaha.

Current Obsession: Slavery in Ancient Rome, and learning Latin in general; I had a dream about it.

Last Thing You Googled: All the different endings for Slay the Princess.

Thanks for playing.

[broke-on-books]

✌️ 🍿 🎶 for the scooby ask meme! :D

✌️ - Fave Side Character: uhhhhh this is hard actually because I'm going off of like 50 years of Scooby but easy shoutouts to Scrappy, Vincent, and Flim Flam (although for me they're not side characters, more just mains in different serieses) but for a true side character either Crystal, the amazing DETECTIVE CHOMPS 🐊🐊🐊, or the Boo Brothers from Scooby Doo and the Boo Brothers (the 3 stooges but ghosts <3)

🍿 - fave movie: Oh easiest question of all time. "Scooby-Doo Goes Hollywood" (1979) is a masterpiece of art actually and I love it so so much (its like literally my favorite movie of all time. I put it down as number one in my film class which like cringe but I really mean it soooo)

🎶 - fave song: Do you remember the WNSD episode with the twin Civil War ghosts? Anyways the song that plays during the water park chase scene there has stuck in my head sooooooo bad I love it. Actually a lot of the WNSD chase music is really up there for me. Also Terror Time is so great but was actually difficult to watch as a kid because that scene scared the bejesus out of me but the song was soooo good so I'd still watch in under the extras tab on dvd

[canariie]

For the writer ask meme; 23, 25, 45, and 46! I'm pretty curious ^^

From the questions for fic writers:

23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to?

Hmmmmm....I would like to write a version of "enemies to lovers" for Hitsuhina though I would probably twist it to "misunderstood people to lovers" haha (partly because I don't know if I could ever perceive them as true true enemies).

I also really want to write a slowburn!!! I think it takes a lot of skill and patience to restrain yourself from having two characters immediately get together (at least for me lol).

In one of my first long fics, which was a Bleach take on Cinderella with Toushiro as Cinderella and Momo as Prince Charming, it was a 'strangers to lover' situation. But since I was reinterpreting a fairy tale, I think I purposely moved things quickly? (tho I wrote the chapters too long as I said before lol)

25. What other websites or resources do you use most often when you write?

Ah, can't say that I really use any formal websites haha. But YouTube for listening to music and Google for finding synonyms for words I repeat too often lol

But! When I'm writing a new character I'm not familiar with, I try to read other writer's interpretations of them as well as re-read their moments in Bleach manga/watch clips of them on YouTube.

45. What’s something you’ve improved on since you started writing fic?

I answered this question here, but for a different response, I think I've learned how to detect what really makes a great story.

I am by no means an expert or a writing genius, however as I partake in other forms of media -- like reading other people's stories/ watching movies/ reading manga/ reading novels-- it's become more clear to me what makes a great story. Either having clear goals for characters, deliberate pacing, symbolism, believable language and motives, tight plots; this has all made me revisit older stories I Loved as a child and evaluate if I still enjoy them.

For example, in Card Captor Sakura (if it's not already obvious how much I enjoy this story through my multiple repeats of it or my profile picture haha), I think what was super compelling about the story was that yes it was about magic and magic girl adventures. But! At the heart of things it was about love and all its thematic nuances! Specifically with Syaoran, whose inital motives were in the self-interest were for getting stronger but then he is slowly broken down by Sakura's kindness and finds himself falling for her (in a very steady progression if you watch the anime!)

I think there are even scenes where there is no card captured in favour of Sakura helping her family/loved ones -- which I think strengthened the show over other magic girl ones.

46. Do you prefer writing on your phone or on a computer (or something else)? Do you think where you write affects the way you write?

I primarily write on my laptop. However, I do keep a little document on my phone of short snippets of ideas or prompts I want to explore for later-- partly because I don't have an idea more than a few words or key lines. However, when I scroll through it, I'm always surprised at what I write because sometimes I don't quite remember writing it haha (and also because it's usually such random sentence fragments)

Here's a snippet of the portion of the doc that had some concepts for i just called to say (and a bit of trepidation!)Not all of it makes it in or its in the wrong order so I'm not always married to what I write down here too. also not me cropping out the other parts of the screenshots because i have a feeling i'm going to write those fics eventually

Lately, I've gotten into the habit of writing dialogue on my phone if it suddenly comes to me and I am immediately enamored with the pacing and tone of it (before I forget it or if I don't have the chance to go to my computer).

[kevinsreviewcatalogue]

Review: Cocaine Bear (2023)

Cocaine Bear (2023)

Rated R for bloody violence and gore, drug content and language throughout

Score: 4 out of 5

<Originally posted at https://kevinsreviewcatalogue.blogspot.com/2023/02/review-cocaine-bear-2023.html>

...yup. There's really not a whole lot I can say about Cocaine Bear that isn't right there on the poster and in the very title. It's a film, based very loosely on a true story from the 1980s, about an American black bear that gets its nose into a big shipment of cocaine that was dropped in Chattahoochee-Oconee National Forest by drug traffickers, and proceeds to go on a drug-fueled rampage against everybody who sets foot in the forest. (In real life, the bear simply died of an overdose. Its taxidermied corpse is now on display in a mall in Lexington, Kentucky.) It's a movie that's more or less trying to do what Snakes on a Plane did, a comedic killer animal flick that was made to become an internet meme and plays out like Jaws if it were written by sketch comedy writers (which isn't far from the truth, as this film was directed by Elizabeth Banks and produced by Phil Lord and Chris Miller), and in my opinion, it pulls it off more successfully. The cast played their characters seriously enough that I actually cared about whether they lived or died, which made the film's drug humor, '80s references, and druggie bear antics that much funnier, and while I could never really call it scary, it still had some vicious kills to it and plenty of gore. The cast felt overstuffed early on with multiple subplots taking time away from each other and the bear, but once the bear started solving that problem in the way that a bear typically does, things moved along much more smoothly. It's a movie where everybody involved understood the assignment and delivered exactly the movie you'd expect, a simple, short, and sweet horror-comedy about a killer bear.

For a movie with a premise like this, it actually takes a bit of time before it really gets to the cocaine bear, instead spending the first act following various people who are about to get caught up in the bear's rampage: the criminals Daveed and Eddie who get dispatched by Eddie's drug lord father Syd White to retrieve the cocaine, the mother and nurse Sari who is searching for her daughter Dee Dee after she cut class with her friend Henry to explore the forest, the detective Bob from Knoxville, Tennessee who heads down to the forest after the drug smuggler's body lands up in his jurisdiction, a trio of local teen delinquents named the Duchamps who have stumbled upon the cocaine and want to take it and sell it for themselves, and the park ranger Liz who winds up dragged into everything that's happening in her forest. It's a surprisingly big cast for a movie like this, filled with recognizable faces, and if you ask me, it was perhaps a bit too big. The first act is jam-packed with subplots on top of subplots such that it doesn't really have much room to breathe, and I probably would have narrowed the focus of the film to just the two pools of characters who actually matter while treating the rest as cannon fodder. Character development matters, but it was clear from the start who existed purely to get killed off in creative fashion, and there's a reason why most body-count horror movies reserve the real subplots for the people who we're still gonna be following in the third act.

Which is why my enjoyment of the film was directly proportional to the number of people the bear had killed, as it not only provided scenes of a coked-up bear killing and eating people, it narrowed and sharpened the film's focus by removing extraneous characters. The bear was noticeably a CG creature effect, but given the outrageous tone the film was going for, I was able to forgive some of the spotty effects, especially when the practical effects work of things like hands and legs getting torn off and a man's guts getting ripped out and eaten was top-notch. Little of it was particularly scary outside a few moments, but this was a comedy more than it was a horror movie, and both the character beats and the more farcical humor, from things like Daveed's anger over his favorite jersey getting ruined and young Henry accidentally inhaling some airborne powder and showing signs throughout the film that he's high on cocaine (and, of course, the antics of the titular bear), kept me laughing throughout. It's simple humor, but it worked.

The cast, too, knocked it out of the park and made me care more about their characters than I normally would have. The thing was that, even amidst the antics going on around them, they were all playing it pretty straight -- Keri Russell and Brooklynn Prince played Sari and Dee Dee like they were in a serious thriller about a mother searching for her daughter, Alden Ehrenreich and O'Shea Jackson, Jr. (son of Ice Cube) played Eddie and Daveed like they were in a crime drama about a missing drug shipment, the late Ray Liotta (in his final film role) played Syd as a vile scumbag of a drug lord, and there was even a European hiker, Olaf, played by Kristofer Hivju who drops the "funny foreigner" shtick and starts acting legitimately horrified and heartbroken after his fiancé Elsa becomes the bear's first victim. The fact that the film took its characters seriously may have weighed it down in the first act when it was overstuffed with them, but as the film went on, it grounded the affairs and gave them real stakes that made me want to see these people get out alive (and outright cheer when Syd finally got what he had coming to him).

The Bottom Line

Cocaine Bear is exactly what it says on the tin, and it delivers exactly what it promises in a very fun package. To quote the tagline on the poster, get in line.

[akhaste]

[starwrighter]

Just a random thought that I turned into a prompt.

I've seen a few posts where Danny can shapeshift but usually he's shapeshifting into animals like crows and cats. For this prompt, hear me out... He shapeshifts into a person. Shocking concept I know! But he doesn't shapeshift into any person he shapeshifts into one of the Batfam, specifically he shapeshifts into Dick. Specifically Dick because he's the one I think is least likely to immediately try to murder Danny for being a clone or write it off as a hallucination from sleep deprivation.(*cough*Tim *cough*)

He doesn't shapeshift into Dick because he knows who he is. Danny has no clue who Gotham's vigilantes or the Wayne's are, Amity park was very isolated even before the portal opened. Danny shapeshifted because he was hungry and walking into a restaurant with his own appearance made people act hostile or pitying towards him. He's been called all types of names from Mutant to Troq and has since learned it was easier to shapeshift to get food then to deal with that.

Danny only shapeshifted into Dick because he was one of the first people he saw while walking around Gotham. In Danny's mind he just shapeshifted into a random person he saw on the street the day before. He's just in it to get fast food, he doesn't think anything of it. Though, he is a little taken aback when the cashier casually calls him a dick, but maybe this dude is a regular that's on friendly terms with the staff. Danny got his greasy food and all is well, that is untill he lock eyes with the real Dick who looks confused but not surprised.

The two of them lock eyes and it's like the spiderman meme for a few second until Dick, in a brilliant moment of intelligence decides to give chase... In public.

Danny's not willing to give up his fast food so easily. He is 100% willing to go through a cartoonishly long chase scene for his over salted fries. So it's just Dick chasing Danny with both of them doing circus level acrobatics.

It would just be Dick chasing Danny at full speed like "This is identity theft!"

And Danny snapping back with "Fuck you! Let me enjoy my lunch in peace Dick!"

He doesn't know Dicks name he's just calling him a dick, but this solidifies it in Dicks mind that he is a clone. So when Dick finally runs Danny into a dead end he demands to know who created him. Danny's confused as hell cause the suspiciously acrobatic civilian is calling him clone and demanding to know who made him. Not wanting to deal with being called a clone he responds to Dick's question.

"Uh... my parents created me dude. I'm just a shapeshifter I don't know what to tell you," after saying that he shapeshifts back a shovels a handful of fries into his mouth.

Dick is utterly baffled when his not clone turns into a small fanged child that looks to be about Damian's age when they were first introduced. He's just staring awkwardly as this kid wolfs down food like he hasn't seen a decent meal in months. The entire time Danny's stuffing his face Dick's have a mental debate on whether or not he should take Danny home to Bruce or not. If he doesn't, the severely malnourished child doesn't get a proper meal but if he does bring the kid back he has to admit that he chased a suspected clone in public and ignored the fact the gear he had on him detected the shapeshifters heartbeat in his stomach before he shapeshifted back into his true form. (My personal headcannon that Danny cannot change where his heartbeat would beno matter how big or small he is)

Dick ends up bribing Danny with food to come back with him.

(Sorry if this was bad I wrote this at three am. Also smart bby Danny is my heart and soul!)

[sollucets]

twcposting advanced special: back half of book 2

mason, it’s very cute of you to acknowledge this and i love masonivy friendship, but like, why were you surprised. ivy is 500000000% team nate in like every possible situation at this point they are fully on the nate train and with ivy this usually means protective violence, so like, (ed: i Meant this rest in rip sanja)

ohhhh. gah that conversation with n and a is super cute what the fuck. “i don’t want your gratitude i want you to be happy” i am actually so much more endeared to a from this route?? this is so sweet. ;u;

sigh. in the most resigned tone possible, n thinks boomer memes are funny. they do don’t they. somewhere in my soul i know it. they have a reasonable chuckle over newspaper comics about people who are obsessed with their phones

n’s route has a Eye Contact thing sure, but i think now that its specific quirk is actually a Hand Thing, isn’t it. wrapping their hand on that first patrol, warming up their hands on the walk, the finger kiss, holding hands all the time, snapping them out of the mirror trance by holding hands... yeah its a hand thing. i gotta think that with ivynate, with the height difference (it’s fully 10 inches, nearly a foot) their hands have gotta be real different sizes too.... ah. tender

seeing the combat scene on this route confirms my earlier suspicions about Hot Sparring Scene, so i’m gonna have to go through this way on the m route.... like. i actively HAVE to. if m doesn’t pin them to the floor and kiss them what is even the point

heehee. i love the “taking advantage of someone’s romantic distraction during sparring” thing....... yes. yes that is where it’s at. that said the height difference makes that description of them back hugging him very funny their nose is going to be like in the middle of his back

m being a little shit to n on this route is So Fuckign Funny compared to n --> m. m is like a Selective Dumbass

im really delighted by ivymason friendship actually. they’re kind of similar, honestly? ivy is a lot nicer, mind, not that that’s a high bar, but they hit back when pushed. i like seeing mason being nice without all the extra romance baggage. it’s cute.

i really liked their nighttime talk except how i couldn’t control the detective going “hey nate have you killed anyone” because..... like..... why would you do that,,,,,, LMAO. also the silly little moisturizer joke i want him to wear a facemask and cucumbers.

“the way that man looks at you could inspire a thousand love poems” oh hell. also i’m fairly certain i’ve Seen sonnets about this lol

i like elidor please don’t let him be evil. he’s the first character i’ve gotten to hug

can’t help but think there’s a missing opportunity after the maalused break all the glass in the living room for injury take care. wouldnt you have glass shards embedded in your hands. fucked up

ivymason do the cannonball special!!!! what a delight. again mason is unreasonably taller than ivy so this definitely works

yeah i mean i hate to fail the mission but there’s fully no world where ivy doesn’t choose their li lmao. it will Never happen

it’s kind of cute a being protective over them against falk. like i understand it’s probably just what happens whether you’re friends or not but a and ivy did not get along for a long time so it’s kinda fun to see them wearing a down

i got the treaty this time! even though sanja died! wild. not sure how i managed that one when i failed with her alive last time. game works in mysterious ways i guess?

that said uh rereading that ambush.... goddammit elidor’s definitely sus, isn’t he. like we know the agency has a leak, specifically about their blood tests, and he took care of them after that.... dammit. :( oh well. at least ivy’s complete and utter trust of him will make for drama should it be true

HELL YEAH FERRIS WHEEL KISS

in conclusion: yes i think i was right to put ivy here. yes nate Does have some ... some edgy shit going on, re: fortune teller and that mysterious “oooh can i tell them everything” thing but i think it needs more emotional damage and that’s exactly what they’re for lmao. it’s... a little less canon i think? or i need to play it a little different. but still godtier i like it. anyway this was nice. had fun. tired now we sleep

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb part 6.1

🎶 Back on the bullshit I never got off🎶

Is this another unnecessary story arc?? With three sections??

Yes.

Wushanju Crew Chat

Wang Meng: You know, I’m someone who appreciates consistency in my day. My life is pleasant, very few issues indeed if you ignore the big ones. And yet. Yet here we are. With unresolved messes at the end of a day.

Wang Pangzi: SOMETHIN YOU NEED TO SAY MARY POPPINS

Wang Meng: We need to talk about Huo Daofu and the glittery bead curtain.

Wang Pangzi: MY FAVE TEEN WIZARD SERIES

Wu Xie: did you turn on that suggested word thingy lol

What glittery bead curtain

Wang Meng: I closed the shop at 6:00pm this evening on the dot. I locked all of the doors in and out of the shop very carefully, especially in light of recent events. The hall leading to the back office was empty. I filed the day’s paperwork, updated and sent emails, and then spent an extra hour organizing receipts and dusting. When I came back out, there were glittery iridescent bead curtains over the front entrance to the shop.

What could this mean?

Wu Xie: uh that you need to spend less time at work?

Wang Pangzi: LOOKS LIKE WE GOT ONE FOR THE DETECTIVES. THE MYSTERY OF THE BEDAZZLED THRESHOLD COMMENCES

Wu Xie: I think we can be relatively secure in thinking a glittery bead curtain isn’t a hostile threat

Wang Pangzi: SAYS YOU

I REMEMBER YE OLDE EXPLORATION TIMES HOW FAST THINGS GOT FURIOUS

BEANBAG CHAIRS SET AFLAME AND LEFT ON DOORSTEPS AS A WARNING

GLITTERBOMBS FOR DAYS

PANIC AT THE DISCO

Wang Meng: Ugh, forget it. I should have just taken them down, regardless of who they belong to.

Zhang Qiling: They are not mine.

Wang Pangzi: A BOLD STATEMENT COMING FROM OUR PRIME SUSPECT

SOMEONE QUICK GO DRAW CHALK AROUND THE DOORWAY TO MARK THE SCENE OF THE CRIME

Wang Meng: Do we know anyone who *would* sneak in and put those up? For whatever reason, legal or not? Even as a joke?

Wang Pangzi: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING WHETHER WE KNOW ANYONE WHO IS CHAOTIC, AN OUTLAW, A PRANKSTER AND/OR SNEAKS INTO PLACES

BECAUSE THAT WOULD MEAN OUR SUSPECT LIST IS LITERALLY EVERYONE WE KNOW EXCEPT FOR YOU.

Wu Xie: okay let’s think about this; for starters, I didn’t break into my own shop

Wang Meng: You would be in danger of doing some work in the process, that’s true.

Wang Pangzi: LOL

Wu Xie: ANYWAY let’s keep going. For example, Xiao Ge would only break in somewhere for a good reason. Xiao Ge, did you do this?

Zhang Qiling: No.

Wu Xie: okay who’s next

Wang Pangzi: YOU REALLY MISSED YOUR CALLING IN INTERROGATION TIANZHEN

REALLY PUT THE SCREWS TO HIM

IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE;)

Zhang Qiling: How can we be certain *you* didn’t do it?

Wang Meng: Admittedly that was my guess, too.

Wang Pangzi: WOW I SEE HOW IT IS

BLAME PANGZI AS USUAL

ANYWAY HOW DOES HUO DAOFU FIT INTO THIS

Wu Xie: Oh yeah him! Oops I got distracted

Wang Pangzi: UR ENTIRE HISTORY IN A NUTSHELL

Wu Xie: Ugh fuck off

Wang Meng what abt Huo Daofu??

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wu Xie: oh sorry xiaoge I didn’t realize you wouldn’t have spent much time around him last year

He and I go way back

Zhang Qiling: Way back where?

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: I CANNOT BELIEVE HE IS BUYING YOUR INNOCENT ACT

IF YOU EVER TURN TO EVIL WE ARE FUCKED

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO HUO DAOFU IS

YOU WERE EXTREMELY POLITE AND BORDERLINE FRIENDLY TOWARDS HIM

Zhang Qiling: I wanted him to feel welcome. I wanted to be sure he understands he has a place here. A specific place.

Wang Pangzi: FOR A SILENT GUY YOU ARE A MASTER AT SUBTLE POWER PLAYS IM ALL TINGLY

LMAO THE IDEA OF WU XIE LEAVING YOU FOR HUO DAOFU IS HILARIOUS AND ALSO NOPE

Zhang Qiling: Rationally, I understand that.

Main Chat

Wang Meng: Huo Daofu is coming for the weekend—didn’t Wu Xie tell you? Wu Xie asked me to check in a week ahead so we could start getting ready for his arrival

Wu Xie: oh yeah I did do that

Wang Meng: Fortunately I know you and so I already went ahead and took care of everything.

Re: the trip

He made a deal with Wu Xie’s doctor that he would do periodic checkups on him here at Wushanju

Bc Wu Xie hates being in the hospital

And frankly the hospital hates him too

Wang Pangzi: FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT LOL

I FORGOT HUO DAOFU WAS DOING THAT

A VERY CHIVALROUS GESTURE

WOULDNT YOU SAY

XIOAGE

Zhang Qiling: Is it safe for him to be here with a criminal loose on the premises?

Wu Xie: Right, back to the curtain! Let’s focus on the curtain, hmm?

Wang Pangzi: I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS WEEKEND.

ALSO WE CAN RULE OUT XIAO BAI FOR THE CURTAIN SHE JUST SENT A SELFIE FROM NORWAY COVERED IN GREEN SLIME WITH ZERO CONTEXT, UR PROTEGE INDEED

Wu Xie: okay but who else would do something so oddly charming yet illegal and—wait.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: hey, Glasses hasn’t been in touch lately right?

Li Cu: uh nope

Unless u count the outdated memes

Why, is money or Xie Yuchen missing

Or is this curtain related, I saw Wang Meng’s tweet

Wu Xie: haha no nothing to worry about really

(I mean maybe? but who knows)

Wang Meng is probably just getting a little paranoid in his old age

Li Cu: better than getting reckless and stupid as hell in ur old age

Wu Xie: …hey:(

Unknown Number: Li Cu, we discussed this.

Wu Xie: ????????

Li Cu: *sigh* fine, reckless and stupid as heck

Unknown Number: …close enough.

Wu Xie: EXCUSE who is that

Madame, Sir, Non-Binary Tree Spirit, etc—whomst the fuck

Are you

Li Cu is underage FYI

So Im staying on this chat

Li Cu: okay first of all, it’s not like that

Second of all I’m literally not underage I s2g

u threw the embarrassing surprise bday party, okay so u should remember

And C, that’s my counselor and I invited her. She wanted to meet u and I knew u wouldn’t agree to a visit so I added her to our chat

we have been discussing u

Wu Xie: Oh wow!!!!!!!

What a surprise:)

hi so nice to meet you:)

Main Chat:

Wu Xie: RED FUCKING ALERT

FUCK THE CURTAIN FUCK THE VISIT

IVE BEEN TRICKED INTO FAMILY THERAPY BY A SMUG TEENAGER WHO TEXTS UNKNOWN NUMBERS

Wang Meng: I assume that means something to someone here?

Not my problem? Good.

Wang Pangzi: AHAHAHA GOD I LOVE LI CU

HES LIKE ADORABLE KARMA FOR ALL THE SHIT YOUVE PUT ME THROUGH

IM RAISING HIS ALLOWANCE

Wu Xie: wait i give him an allowance

has he been collecting on two allowances??

Zhang Qiling: Three. I knew about both of yours.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: so uh may I ask your name?

Unknown Number: you can call me Ms. Lee.

Now, if you’re comfortable talking in this format, why don’t you tell me how things have been going?

Wu Xie: oh everything is normal and fine and safe as usual, why do you ask:)

Li Cu: I heard about ur necklace thing. nice of you to NOT mention it.

another dangerous adventure. again. prick.

Ur lucky your cool boyfriend cares about you so much or you’d have already died like ten years ago

Wu Xie: lol try twenty years ago

Li Cu: That isn’t funny.

Unknown Number: …What?

Wu Xie: shit ur right, okay that was a bit glib, my apologies.

…I use humor as a coping mechanism?

Unknown Number: and Li Cu, how do you feel about that?

Li Cu: he doesn’t even know what that phrase means

He doesn’t cope, like ever

In fact

It’s kind of why we met

Which is a funny story in retrospect tbh

Wu Xie: haha what are you talking about sweetie hahaha need I remind you of certain anecdotes that could idk send me to jail maybe lmao

Unknown Number: …You know, perhaps an in-person meeting might be more effective?

Wu Xie: haha such a nice idea but why

Main Chat

Wu Xie: If I go to jail, I’ll have to create alliances for protection, right, that’s how it works on tv

Who do we know who spends time in jail

Other than Hei Yangjing, he’s only ever there for like 12 hours and i suspect he just gets himself arrested bc he enjoys the breaking out process

Also how’s the curtain case coming along

Zhang Qiling: Has someone threatened you?

Wu Xie: well not yet but soon I’m sure

Wang Pangzi: WHERE WAS THIS PARANOIA WHEN WE GOT TAKEN TO THE TEA HOUSE HUH

Snake Eyes Minus Your Fucking Therapist Chat

Li Cu: okay how tf did u pull off spy and undercover shit

u are sus as hell

Wu Xie: damn son is it pick on Wu Xie night

I missed the flyers or I would’ve invited my uncles

Also re: the curtain it’s been mostly solved

Li Cu: I’m not your son, idiot.

Wu Xie: …oh. Sorry, sorry, you’re right, bad choice of words, haha

Forget i said anything

Delete this chat even

Li Cu: shit I meant

Legally, biologically, I meant—

shit

…I turn into an asshole as a coping mechanism?

Wu Xie: oh that’s all okay! I have to go do something else now let me know if you need anything okay kid thanks!

Li Cu: goddamn it calm down who’s the kid here

lemme organize my thoughts so I can articulate my emotions fuckin healthily or w/e

Ugh maybe for like one afternoon we could go to Ms. Lee together? She knows how to word stuff

Wu Xie: uh…okay.

Li Cu: Anyway you don’t need to worry abt jail

As if you would survive prison for one day you’d piss off half the place in like an hour or less

I gave Ms. Lee the heavily edited version of the desert highway to hell roadtrip and i discussed it more in terms of like “nightmarish but still wouldn’t take any of it back”

Well maybe the sand

that shit was everywhere

Wu Xie: oh kiddo. It’s fine, really…You don’t have to explain yourself to me.

Li Cu: no, no it’s just

I do technically have a dad

who is an asshole. Being a son doesn’t really mean shit to me bc it sucked.

So you need to stop backing down just cuz ur guilty abt stuff. I’m really really glad ur not my dad in a good way. Do u get what I mean there

Where’s the mafia widower I followed into hell, huh

Wu Xie: Ur a good kid, despite my influence. I’m really glad you have someone to talk to after everything I…after everything. Wow this talking through feelings thing is kind of weird but nice ur right

Jfc no wonder it took me and xiaoge so long to—you know what, we won’t get into that

Li Cu: ew tmi

Also re: this week’s recent necklace fuckery

I moved my stuff here, I live here now

So you can’t die anymore

Or else…Idk I don’t have a threat planned

anyways abt the curtain

Wu Xie: oh my god, kid…kid you have no idea

I am in tears.

Li Cu: see this is why I can’t be nice to you I can sense the hallmark channel from here

Ugh don’t be sad in ur room that’s dumb

Go hug Pangzi or something

Maybe delete this chat

Or the curtain thing

Focus on the curtain thing

Just stfu and go away

Wu Xie: <3 screenshotting this <3

Li Cu: I take back everything I said. This is why Xiao Ge sleeps on the roof. I hope the ghosts of the Wangs put up that curtain to strangle you somehow. Go die in a stupid way, it’ll suit you.

Wu Xie: lol don’t worry I’m not gonna embarrass you with it or anything

Main Chat

Wu Xie: omg guys look how cute my kid is *sending screenshot*

Wang Pangzi: I MEAN

HE IS WISHING YOU DEATH

BUT SURE

CUTE I GUESS

Wu Xie: no but read the whole thing:):):)

Zhang Qiling: It is indeed very hard to remain angry with you. And you are welcome to join me on the roof.

Wang Pangzi: UH NOPE

NOT WHENI HAD TO BLEACH THE COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN

DONT TRAUMATIZE THE EARLY BIRDS THEYRE ALREADY FREAKED OUT BY U YA HOODIE CRYPTID

Wu Xie: ok true but babe ur like a sexy cryptid

Wang Meng: so, are we just accepting that there is a glittery curtain of unknown origin, and Huo Daofu is going to have to see it while he’s waiting for you at Wushanju bc you’re going to family therapy?

Wu Xie: right

Wang Pangzi: SHOULDA TAKEN EARLY RETIREMENT HUH

Wang Meng: I’m going to go dust something.

Unnamed Chat:

Unknown number: so the curtain…

Unknown number 2: yep, not my best work but I kinda panicked last minute u know

Unknown number: what is in the water at Wushanju that makes everyone dumb and attractive

Unknown number 2: relax they’ll figure it out

[maxwell-grant]

Sherlock Holmes for the Listing meme?

favorite thing about them

I have some pretty mixed feelings on Holmes where I never quite got into the character as much as I could or may have liked to, but at the same time, he's been a part of my life for as long as I can remember (I grew up legitimately thinking he was a real person and only discovered otherwise in my early teens, and Conan Doyle may have been the first big-name author I remember reading).

I guess if I had to narrow down something more personal, the idea of Holmes as this really smart, incredibly knowledged person, who nevertheless could be insensitive, awkward, lonely, disinterested in relationships or social occasions, and still be a well-respected hero with strong friendships and a noble purpose, might have been more important for me to read about back then than I gave it credit for at the time.

A lot of people are very attached to the idea that Holmes is autistic or "coded" as autistic, and I have some misgivings towards that idea (mainly because often times it seems to me like "coded" is just a replacement word for stereotype), but in retrospect, it kinda was important for me to read about a character who was a little more like, well, like me basically, than the usual adventure hero. I guess it's kinda why I distinctly remember being sad upon learning that Holmes wasn't a real person, even though by that point I really should have known better.

And to an extent I think that's also part of why Sherlock managed to effectively sustain the kind of popularity he had, that he felt "real" to begin with. That he appealed to audiences worldwide in ways even they didn't quite understand at the time. He was not the most published character worldwide, possibly not even the most popular one in his time, but he was modern and vivid to an extent that's allowed him to outlast the Nick Carters and Sexton Blakes and Nat Pinkertons of his time, and become not just THE touchstone of 19th century detective fiction, but also a popular and modern character today. Holmes appeals a lot to people who can't quite see themselves as an outgoing action hero, but who can use their intelligence and reasoning to improve conditions for others, and I definitely think he owes at least some of his iconic popularity to that thoughtfulness.

least favorite thing about them

Definitely when adaptations have him be rude or belittling or dismissive to Watson, that's easily the fastest way to get me to dislike a Sherlock adaptation, and sadly that's been a trend even in the earliest days of Sherlock adaptations or fanfic (which, back in the day, were basically the same thing). I'm also really not a fan of the more asshole takes on Sherlock that comically exaggerate how rude and insensitive he is, or takes that just make him a crimefighting Sheldon Cooper, and-

Actually I'm just gonna say BBC's Sherlock and call it a day.

favorite line

My dear fellow," said Sherlock Holmes as we sat on either side of the fire in his lodgings at Baker Street, "life is infinitely stranger than anything which the mind of man could invent. We would not dare to conceive the things which are really mere commonplaces of existence. If we could fly out of that window hand in hand, hover over this great city, gently remove the roofs, and peep in at the queer things which are going on, the strange coincidences, the plannings, the cross-purposes, the wonderful chains of events, working through generation, and leading to the most outre results, it would make all fiction with its conventionalities and foreseen conclusions most stale and unprofitable.

brOTP

Well, duh. I'm also fond of the idea of him and Arsene Lupin having a more-friendly sort of rivalry, even if they can't quite be on the same side and I still ultimately prefer that Lupin takes the win (or at least the spiritual victory). And of course I have my pet headcanons about him and The Shadow being acquaintances.

OTP

None in particular. I like the popular headcanon that Holmes is asexual, and this doesn't exactly mean he can't have an amorous or sexual relationship with anyone, but generally I don't think of Holmes in those terms.

nOTP

Irene Adler. I think it kinda goes without saying too.

random headcanon

I'd like to play around with the idea of Sherlock often trying to find healthier outlets for his boredom and attention span, that aren't crime-solving or cocaine (largely thanks to Watson bugging him), that he spends an adventure trying to get the hang of while doing his thing, and may or may not turn out to be revelant

Like he's discussing crime scene details with Lestrade while balancing a broom on his foot El Chavo-style, and he remarks that, yes, of course this is research, the robber may have disguised himself as a janitor in order to sneak past police headquarters, and without fingerprints, he needs to try and measure the size and weight of the man by gauging the available brooms at the police station they could have used.

Lestrade doesn't question anything Sherlock does anymore, and Watson is trying very hard to keep a straight face because he knows it's not true, Holmes has been at this for over a week now at home, but it's been a slow week and he'll encourage anything if it keeps Holmes off the cocaine (can't make promises on nicotine though, but, baby steps).

unpopular opinion

I guess the closest I'd have to one would be that I actually prefer Holmes as more of a side character rather than an active protagonist and that I don't think the premise of "Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century" is the most idiotic thing ever and I am very willing to give the show a chance when I watch it.

I think maybe my real unpopular opinion as a Sherlock fan is that I don't think Arthur Conan Doyle was unjustified in his hatred of Sherlock's popularity, considering that he was dealing with an aggressive fandom long before people had an idea on how to deal with that sort of thing, and he could not have possibly predicted the sheer influence his character was going to have on fiction as a whole.

Also, he was right about some of the things he believed in. Yes, that includes the fairies. No, it doesn't make him any less gullible for having fallen for that trick.

song i associate with them

None in particular so instead I'm going to present the theme from The Great Mouse Detective, which I'm sure goes without saying is the best adaptation of Sherlock Holmes alongside those starred by Jeremy Brett, and DEFINITELY has the best version of Moriarty by a country mile.

favorite picture of them

For the moment I'm going to say this illustration by Jess Miriam. I love it's usage of shadow, it's background, the light coming off the pipe and the smoke encircling Holmes, and I love the scene it depicts from "The Man With The Twisted Lip", where Holmes at once seems to perform an act of utmost kindness but is, in reality, solving the mystery through a most unorthodox and yet ingenious method, all with the smallest of gestures. Definitely speaks a lot to what I most like about Sherlock Holmes

[elindae-writes]

Ok, this is all about your headcanons. Is Starscream the oldest/youngest/middle member of his trine? Did he get his trine before or after losing Skyfire? During his time in the Decepticons? How did he meet his trinemates? Was there a cool ceremony? Just tell me everything about Seekers! (Without major spoilers, of course.)

He’s the youngest and he trined Skywarp and Thundercracker after he lost Skyfire and also after he first met Megatron. So they were officially in a trine before they joined the Decepticons. He convinced them to join the ‘Cons and without spoiling too much now bitterly regrets roping them into joining Megatron.

The scenes in which he meets the boys and trines them are going to appear later on, maybe during the Orion Pax arc, so I don’t want to spoil those, but I will gladly indulge your request for cool Seeker facts.

Seekers think in three dimensions and not two due to them being flyers and always having to ascend/descend. This is part of the reason they are so claustrophobic, it’s because they are highly attuned to sensing what’s above them at all times and are therefore hyperaware of when the ceiling is too low.

In Seekercant the word for “grounder” is just “taxi-er” because whenever airplanes are about to take off they taxi around first, so Seekers basically just see grounders as wingless bots who taxi everywhere without taking off.

Seekers are unusual in that they see their alt-modes as their true natural forms and think of their bipedal root-modes as their actual alternate modes. This is weird even by flyer standards.

Seekers used to go on giant migrations. I haven’t entirely thought this out because I’m not sure where they’d actually migrate to--maybe they’d just all instinctively fly up and around Vos without leaving the city, or maybe they’d go off and visit ancient older nesting sites built by ancient Seekers. Either way I just like the imagery of thousands of Seekers blackening the skies with their numbers and then the sad image of Starscream trying to complete a grand Seeker migration all by himself because there is no one else left. But someone still needs to follow the ancient winds, so it’s gotta be him.

Starscream is tiny by Seeker standards and Dreadwing and Skyquake are actually more average-sized. It’s also my headcanon his RID frame used to be his old frame, so when Megs downsized him he got fussy about it because he genuinely felt like a bit of his Seeker heritage got taken away.

There were a bunch of different towers in Vos and they all had their own slightly different cultures. Seekers from one tower would whistle and chirp in Seekercant in slightly different tones than Seekers from another tower, like the way whales from different pods have their own unique dialects. Starscream’s fellow Seekers from his tower were infamous for speaking real fancy-like, I don’t know why but I just picture them as speaking in weirdly complex, vague, and mystical ways like the elves from the Lord of the Rings. Despite there being hundreds of different dialects each Seeker is capable of instinctively recognizing the dialect you’re speaking and can just tell what tower you’re from. There was also a Seeker equivalent of Australia somewhere in Vos and it was completely full of weird and intense Cybertronian animals, it was just like that one weird tower where all of the odd little drones and robots ended up. I just like the idea of Vosian Australian memes.

Starscream was from a really high-ranking family, aka the equivalent of Seeker nobility, and was maybe in line to become or at the very least is closely related to the Winglord. That’s why it was such a scandal when he got the heck out of Dodge and decided to abandon his proud noble military family so that he could go blow stuff up in a lab in Iacon.

Shuttles have their own culture, but are weirdly symbiotic with Seekers. I just like the imagery of throngs of tiny Seekers who wandered around their towers with the occasional giant shuttle just lumbering through. Shuttles adopted Seekers and vice versa. Seekers were extremely touchy about whoever adopts baby Seekerlings and shuttles were the only non-Seekers who were allowed to adopt them. When Starscream moved out of Vos and got himself a roommate in Iacon his family was like “who?? who is dwelling with you, I refuse to allow you to have a non-Seeker roommate, we’d much rather have you dwell alone then dirty yourself by living with an Iaconian--”

And then Starscream just sent over a picture of Skyfire and then his family just said  “we will make an exception for him because he looks very polite”

Seekers were infamous across Cybertronian for being--I’m not sure if this is the right word--cryptids? They hate using doors, so if you’re a grounder and your Seeker buddy is bopping by for a visit you’ll just hear a soft tap tap tap by your window and you’dlllook over and see your winged friend waiting for you to open it up and maybe you’d shout something along the lines of “THE DOOR WORKS FINE”

And then your Seeker friend would just flare his wings and get all offended and it would be a whole thing--

Seekers very rarely make non-Seeker friends, but when they do they tend to make friendships for life. That is not foreshadowing, no, not at all. Non-fliers back on Cybertron would even leave their windows unlocked for their Seeker friends--even though the door would work just fine.

Another weird thing about Seekers is that they hate it when people actually see them entering or exiting a room. You’ll just turn around and a Seeker will be there, and then suddenly they won’t be, hence their cryptic reputation around Cybertron. They are infamous for being overdramatic and theatrical, but they just think of everybody else as being underdramatic.

They have no concept of personal space when in bipedal mode. When flying they normally have to fly wide apart in order to avoid collisions (military trines or just trines that are really in-synch are the exception, they normally flew only a few inches apart) so when in bipedal mode they make up for the lack of physical contact during flying by skooching up real close to each other when back on the ground. Seekers are very very good at forming neat and orderly lines. They have a tendency to sandwich confused and surprised grounders who are shocked to have their personal space so suddenly taken up by a bunch of pairs of wings.

Back when Vos was intact there was a big debate going on as to the proper way to teach your Seekerling to fly. There were two schools of thought:

Send your Seekerling to a school with safety nets and attentive instructors and teach the Seekerlings to just hover, then ascend three feet off the ground, then five feet, and then so on.

Or just chuck your Seekerling out of a tower 10,000 feet in the air while shouting “fLAP” and then just hoping for the best. That was how Starscream was taught. It’s also how he taught Eradicons to fly. He’d have them walk up to the edge, he’d go behind and just give them a good kick, and then shout “THIS IS THE VOSIAN WAY”

And then they’d return to the deck of the Nemesis, cold and shaking, and ask “why?”

And then Starscream would whisper back even more gently “it’s  t r a d i t i o n”

Whenever Seekerlings were really really tiny, as in only a few weeks or months old, the adult Seekers would transform, then also have their Seekerling transform into a very smol plane, and then they would secure the Seekerling to their back before taking flight. It’s like when that Boeing jet carried space shuttle Endeavour around, but much cuter. Seekers carried their newsparks around on their backs between their wings and their wings would widen in order to create more room. You can actually tell if a Seeker has tended to newsparks by just looking at their back. Starscream babysitted a lot, so he has this modification. I just like the idea of Seekers walking around like possums with like six Seekerlings on their back, they gotta make room, it’s the only way I could think of to accomodate all the kiddos

Seekerlings are like newborn horses. They can get up and run--or in their case, transform and fly--right after being sparked. The moment their systems go online they then immediately fly off and crash somewhere. Seekerling caretakers had it rough.

Seekers had potlucks. Their systems require very fine and refined energon, so they are very good at tasting subtle flavors. In other words, Vos was home to the Cybertronian version of professional chefs. Their energon was famous for being gourmet and it would be served in fine-dining restaurants throughout the rest of Cybertron. But back in Vos they’d just casually serve each other what was essentially gourmet energon during potlucks like it was no big deal. Like imagine going to the neighbor’s potluck and they’re all eating caviar.

Seekers instinctively cluster around each other in multiples of three. Three’s a very a lucky number in their culture and they had a base-six counting system.

Trinebonds are mostly just full of a very intense and platonic brother love, but there were some trines in which you’d have two Seekers adopt a more parental role towards the third, and in some other trines there would be more romance involved, but for the most part they were just bros through and through.

When a Seeker dies the other two feel an agonizing pain, but will eventually re-trine with a new third in an attempt to feel whole again. Seekers who lose both trinemates will tend to have a full-on mental breakdown and will get so stressed that their spark will actually begin to flare erratically, which unfortunately prevents them from re-trining. Seekers who lost both trinemates and yet who managed to pull through the pain and trine again were treated with great respect.

Trined Seekers are capable of sensing what kind of vague mood their two buddies are feeling at any given time. They can detect when their trinemates are in root-mode or alt-mode or when they’re healthy or sick. Seekers will lose the ability to sense their trinebonds when there’s too much distance between them or whenever their trinemates go into a deep coma-like stasis that slows their spark down.

All of the Seekers in a tower would be almost always all distantly related. The Seekers who lived beneath you were your distant cousins on one side of your family and the Seekers who lived above you were your even more distant cousins but like 53 times removed, but still family and therefore still invited to the family potluck!! They’re all like hobbits in that they are obsessed with genealogy and will gladly talk about it for hours on end. Seekers will greet each other by explaining their genealogy. This really confuses grounders.

Some random grounder: “Oh, hi, how are you?”

Starscream, probably: “I AM STARSCREAM SON OF STARFLIGHT SON OF SKYECHO SON OF AIRHALO SON OF SWIFTWING--”

The poor grounder: *softly* “What the fuck”

If you don’t interrupt the Seeker then they will just keep recounting their genealogy on the assumption that you are actually intrigued. This can go for hours. Seekers are mortified when they learn that grounders do not know the names, personalities, likes, dislikes, and favorite childhood snacks of their distant great-great-great-great-great grandfathers.

Orphaned Seekers who didn’t know their genealogy had multiple options: get adopted, then just list off the adopted family’s bloodline, or if they didn’t get adopted then they’d just list off the names of Vos’s mythological heroes and figures, or maybe even just claim Primus as their ancestor (which isn’t even wrong.) This is kind of like how people in ancient times claimed to be descended from gods. The human equivalent of this would be some dude walking up to you and saying “I am Bob, son of Zeus!”

Some Seeker towers had certain naming conventions. Like you’d have one tower full of Seekers who are all named after cloud formations, and another tower full of Seekers named after noises, like “whistle” or “blast,” and you guessed it--maybe even “scream.”

To be honest I’m not sure if I want Starscream to be a very common or very rare name. Vos was made up of ancient warring clans that all united under the first Winglord (he/she took Vos under their “wing” hence the title) and maybe they could’ve been named Starscream? In most human societies everybody and their neighbor always would want to name their kiddos after the current ruler, but in Vos maybe it was very rare and very bold of Seekers to name their child after the current ruler because it would be seen as an attempt to snatch up that ruler’s glory. So to name your Seekerling Starscream would be the Vosian equivalent of naming your son Gaius Julius Caesar. He’s an intense bot so it makes sense that he’d also have a very intense name.

But then again I also like the idea of the Autobots just thinking of Starscream’s name as being weird and rich and odd and  e x o t i c  but then finding out it’s the Vosian equivalent of John Smith and that there were eight Starscreams on any block at any given time.

Maybe Seekers would change their name whenever they have a big event happen to them, like a trining for example. I think a culture obsessed around airflow would be fine with people changing aspects of their identity like that because then you’re being like the wind, flowing and changing with the same wind that carries you. It’s also my headcanon that this is why Seekers change their frames a lot more. Your frame isn’t you, it contains you, and if you change then it would be really weird not to change the way you look too. 

Despite being really lax about some things Seekers can be very very strict and traditional about other things, such as etiquette. If you’re meeting a new Seeker for the first time and you rotate your wings 70 degrees clockwise that means “may the skies of the holy 70th tower of Vos bless you” but if you rotate your wings anti-clockwise it means “I curse your grandfather!” And then Starscream would just gasp in horror and then shout “DO NOT BESMIRCH THE MEMORY OF SKYECHO”

Some Seeker names were common--like, too common. There were a few thousand Skyechoes, Windblasts, and Driftwings who drifted around at any given moment. This made role-call in school very painful. Some caretakers would try to be edgy about it. “Oh, my son isn’t named Driftwing, he’s named Dreadwing!”

Seekers cremated their dead but in the most intense way possible. They took their dead up and just let them burn up in the atmosphere so that they can become one with the sky. This resulted in some pretty spectacular meteor showers.

Same random grounder: “What a beautiful shooting star!”

Starscream, casually: “Oh, that’s my grandpa, SKYECHO SON OF AIRHALO SON OF SWIFTWING--”

Same unfortunate grounder: “wHAT--”

Seekers make noises all the time and are very rarely silent. They hum when content, beep when excited, chirp when riled up, rumble when confused, trill when happy, and so on. Starscream used to be a chatterbox but was forced to repress his chitterings because Megatron would always tell him to shut up. He’s going to trill more and more throughout Unburied, especially around Optimus.

Seeker towers were infamous for their weird architecture. They weren’t designed to ever be wandered around in while in your bipedal mode. No staircases, period. Just extremely tall ceilings and arches with curved corridors everybody flew through with lots of balconies you could land on. There were lots of holes in the wall that they could fly through that led to actual rooms where they would transform and be bipedal (berthrooms, washracks, etc) but then after they slept/ate/partied they were just like “that was fun guys, gotta go” and then just flung themselves out of a hole in the wall over a 1,000 foot drop and then just transformed in midair and flew off. Grounders couldn’t visit the towers due to there being no grounder-friendly infrastructure. Special buildings had to be built near the ground to help accommodate visiting grounders, but you only ever really saw these kinds of grounder-friendly accommodations in towers meant to receive diplomats.

They had bathhouses in their towers, like the ancient Romans but with robots instead of old dudes in togas. Just giant birdbaths basically. Just lots and lots of splashing and chittering.

Seekers preen themselves, their circuitry is delicate and even the slightest of contaminants can cause big problems. That’s why they have such sharp talons---for getting in the small spots. And for stabbing people. That’s a nice bonus, too. They preen each other all the time. There were some regions on their wings that could be preened by anybody, but some other parts of the wings that could only be preened by close friends such as trinemates. So the outer planes of the wing could be preened by just a general buddy, but the actual area where they connect to the back? That’s trinemate-only territory right there. It’s not a sexual thing, just a cultural taboo they had.

When Dreadwing makes his grand debut I think I might have a scene in which him and Starscream are preening each other while angrily bickering, not because they actually like each other, but just because they’re the only Seekers around and Starscream’s had a rock stuck in his wing seam and slag it, Dreadwing is the only bot who knows how to get it out--so it’d just be angry bird bickering and arguing preen time.

“You killed my brother!”

Starscream would then flutter angrily and say something like, “NO, BUMBLEBEE DID, STOP BLAMING ME--please get that rock out of my wing seam k thX--IT WAS THE SCOUT’S FAULT!”

And then Dreadwing would just be like, “Skyquake is dead, and it’s all YOUR FAULT--I also have a rather unfortunate rock located in my wing seam, can you remove that--and it’s because of your cowardice I am now brotherless!”

Seeker talons were actually retractable. Some Seekers would have their talons out literally all the time though, these were Seekers who were high-ranking in the military or who were just on some quest of personal revenge. After the war began they modified their talons to just always be sharp because you don’t want to accidentally retract them when in battle.

I am only just now realizing that this got kind of long, huh. I hope this wasn’t too much!! I might post more Seeker headcanons in the future.