#(it just sounded better than 'typing them in my notes app and then transferring to powerpoint')

[misguidedandperplexed]

props to my brain for giving me an aziracrow fic idea in the last few seconds of my dream

[give-soup-please]

I had to write this in a Google Doc for fear of me doing something just to accidentally get rid of all of it, but anyways:

Hi, it’s me, May again. 

First thing’s first: I’m so sad that I missed the whole ‘submit stuff in the ask box for conversation’ thing - I’ve been so busy that I haven’t had time to do the things I normally do… But I suppose I could submit things whenever I want, huh? Eh, I don’t like bothering people (It’s a problem) so I usually wait to send things anyways. 

Anywhosies, first I must respond to your response to my response to your response to, er,…. and so on.

1. Don’t worry, I don’t plan on revealing myself just yet. Honestly, I think I’ll only do it when you ask, you might know who I am now but pfft it’s fine. I’ll be a secret as long as you wish me to be. Plus, being anonymous just adds that boost of confidence for me to say things that I may not say otherwise due to anxiety… haha, get it, may? AAnyways. I’m glad you think I’m intriguing… Honestly I would consider myself to be FAR far from that, but thank you nonetheless. I’ll be honest with you, I don’t proofread these AT ALL. Literally. I do skim over them just to make sure I’m coherent but … usually it’s just me slapping whatever words come to my mind onto a Google Doc and then transferring it over. I like this style of writing because it feels the most like me, like my brain, like my feelings. 

Also, no, you did not sound like a Disney Villain - I appreciate a good mystery as much as you do, I think, and I probably could have kept it even more of a secret if I had simply ignored Munchies or lied, but I would have felt awful doing either so I didn’t. Anyways, I’m glad you enjoy me being a strange mystery, here to grace your inbox with overly long messages on a sporadic basis. 

2. It’s honestly a tiny bit weird to me that people care so much about such trivial things. There are other things that I find to be so much more important than things like that, that I get a bit frustrated sometimes. I do have a habit of standing up for the things I personally believe in with a viciousness and intensity that would probably scare even the most staunch of opponents but that’s usually because it’s advocating for people to just live their lives happily so… I feel like they deserve a person like that in their corner. And why wouldn’t I stand up for the things I believe in so fiercely? 

3. I can’t remember when I last submitted this ask, but I’m sure you’re practically done or SO very close to being done with it. I know that, especially during things like that, it can be insanely hard to focus on taking care of yourself, especially if you have finals and such. But I think you will do, or have done a great job of it - you made it this far, haven’t you? I’m so glad that you have a support network of people for that type of stuff, not only do you deserve it but it’s just so much easier to do well for yourself when you know that, if you can’t, there’s others in place for you to help when you need it. 

Now that that is done, I wanted to mention all of the random stuff I slapped into my notes app:

4. I also do the cupcake thing! God I love it so much, it makes it so much easier to eat them (cleaner and stuff) and also like you said the distribution is much better. Cupcake sandwich for the win! I also, without fail, get comments on it every single time. Like, seriously, they act as if I reinvented the wheel…

Other food related things: 

- I love lemonheads! So much! I keep trying to find them at the store but they never have anything for them. Not even the small boxes anymore :( It makes me so sad because they also make really good “grounding” things for me sensory wise, like a shock to the system with something sour. Not sure if THAT made sense, but anyways. 

- I’m also picky about tootsie pops, but my favorites are the red and chocolate ones - I hate all of the other ones they just taste… bad to me. I can see why you wouldn’t like the chocolate ones though, especially if you’re picky about chocolate… they don’t really even taste like actual chocolate, kind of like watered down chocolate milk but different? 

- Side question: Have you ever had “homemade” hot cocoa?? Its SO good, genuinely, amazing…. Do you even like hot cocoa? 

- Are the rolls you like the sweet Hawaiian ones? Because GOD those are my favorite, I love them so much. 

5. Honestly I absolutely adore the ocean - I would want to spend my last moments there too. My favorite and best moments in life actually have taken place at the ocean - you know those moments that, while they’re happening everything feels so real and genuinely tangible, like you had never felt real before, but you do now? I’ve only had two of them and both were on the ocean… I am super sad that I’m moving away soon, I’ll be near a rather big lake, but not at all near the ocean. 

6. I love cats more than dogs for a variety of reasons - depending on the type of cat, of course, usually they are a lot less maintenance which is really important for me for health reasons. Dogs also typically have a lot more energy than cats (at least during the day) and I could never even hope to have the energy of a dog. And also cats just remind me of me, if I were an animal I would probably be a big ol skrungly black cat. 

7. While I know that the religion post is technically about Good Omens (Great taste, by the way) - I want to say that I absolutely understand that. I always get such strange feelings about it, even with media I like (i.e. Good Omens) along with those said undefinable emotions. Even if the experience was traumatic I feel like there are layers of beauty within it, of seeing people find hope where they previously thought there was none. Too much bigotry and discrimination in most religions for my taste (cough, why I’m Agnostic cough), so it gets tainted in a lot of emotions, but there’s always those lingering feelings there. 

You know the drill by now good sir, please eat, and treat yourself (especially today) Take care of you because I would ugly cry if you were gone (no, seriously, please)

~Your friend, May

howdy, may. no worries on not being around/available during that time period. we all have our own lives, and i never expect anyone to be available 24/7.

i appreciate that you're playing along and not revealing yourself just yet. makes things more fun.

2. i think you and i feel the same about this, and i'm a firm believer in free speech and all associated pleasures/risks that come with it. tumblr discourse is exhausting lmao...

3. my last day of school before summer break is june 15th. we are definitely in the home stretch now. i have one essay, one homework assignment, and one final left... just gotta stretch myself a bit longer.

4. the cupcake method i use is the only way to go tbh. try gas stations for lemonheads, that's the only place i've found them. you're right about tootsie pops and me being picky about chocolate flavors. i have had homemade hot cocoa, and it's one of my favorite winter drinks. i like both the sweet hawaiian rolls and the regular dinner kind. love is love, bread is bread./silly

5. yeah, the ocean is one of my favorite spots as well, and i've had that exact feeling you've described. i sympathise on the moving part, when i moved, it was to be further away from the ocean instead of closer. freaking sucked. but i found ways to cope. visit the lake, maybe. it's not the same, but water always helps.

6. if i was an animal, i'd probably be a crab or a seal.

7. yeah, i'm writing a good omens fic right now on the topic of religious trauma and the complicated emotions that result. it's been a blast to write, but as per my standard tradition, it's not going to start getting published until it's more than halfway done, which is how i run all my multi chapter stories. it involves very special things, like aziraphale being a queer guardian angel, and found family dynamics.

i'll take care of myself, i promise.

[god-of-dust]

For the Fic Writer Ask:

3, 9, 12, 13, 15 and 20 (sorry for asking so many, but I'm really excited for your answers!)

hey friend, thank you! and don’t worry about asking too many questions, i felt talkative :D

[deep fic writer asks]

3. what fic are you emotionally attached to?

in all honesty, a lot of the fics that i love the most will probably stay forever unfinished in my drafts. as for the fics i actually have finished and posted, i have a soft spot for unscripted, and the reason is that writing it has been fun. readers have praised the character development in it, but it’s something that just happened while i was busy being outrageously self-indulgent with a plot that, to me, was head-empty-just-smut. it reminds me that a story doesn’t have to be that deep to be enjoyable and worth telling.

9. what's your writing process like?

an important part of my process is that appreciation and community-driven deadlines are the main motivators that drive me to actually finish works, which is why shipping weeks are very useful indeed. most of my fics (if not all) are birthed through hyperfixation, which in my case means that i have to squeeze the creative juices on the page before the enthusiasm fades.

on the plot side of things, there are vibes at the wheel rather than a well-thought plan, which is why i usually don’t go for longer stories (though i want to learn to.) i imagine a scene, a concept or a collection of them, and then i string them together until they’re coherent.

thus, when i know that i have a story i want to tell and there’s an audience that makes me excited to sit down and get my fingers on the keyboard, i found out that having a daily word count goal and a timer is the best way for my brain to stop obsessing over every single word and produce instead a repetitive, absurd, unhinged stream of consciousness that i can nonetheless edit later. i put on some background music, open focuswriter with its handy word count options to set my daily goal, start the timer and then i type away until i’m done, even if nothing that comes out makes any lick of sense. all that first draft has to do is exist.

12. What’s your perfect environment to create/write?

for the timed sessions i enjoy sitting at the desk in my room where i usually work. when inspiration strikes me elsewhere i use one of those note-taking apps in my phone and then transfer it to my computer later if i feel like it.

mostly, i want to have time and space to relax and do my thing.

13. Do you take pride in your writing, or does it embarrass you? Why?

interesting question 👀 a bit of both, i think. i do like it at times, but when i go back and read my fics i also feel like my style is kind of immature and the story could have been told better.

15. How do you think your writing as improved over time?

i learned not to judge myself too much during the writing process, so i gained more inspired turn of phrases and emotional depth that i could never have reached if i kept obsessing over good form and not sounding like the ESL speaker that i am. my mother tongue bleeds through my words in many ways and that’s okay.

20. What’s the greatest gift you’ve gotten from your writing?

readers who care about the stories i tell and who leave comments to let me know that they appreciate what i do. it’s humbling and exciting in a way i can’t describe. in the past, it often felt shallow and shameful to think that i create not only for myself but also because i love the validation, but i realize now that it’s true: community is great. sharing my stuff with people who are excited about it is amazing. the more love my creative works receive, the more of them i want to put out in the world.

[starshine583]

New Girl on the Block (10)

(New update coming in and things are getting heated!!! I wonder how our lovely little group’s gonna handle it??)

Ch.1 / Ch.9 / Ch. 11

Chapter 10: Adrenaline Rush

Possible Schools:

Rosemary High

Skyline Academy

Angelwood Institute

Liberty High

Summerfield Academy

Clearwater Institute

A sigh passed through Adrien’s lips as he crossed out the last name on his list, matching it with the other failed attempts. He just didn’t understand. Why was it so hard to find Marinette’s school? All he needed to do was search for high schools in the area and ask the students at each school whether she attended or not. It seemed simple enough at the time, but now another week and a half has gone by, and he’s no closer to finding her than he was two weeks ago when he asked for her school name as Chat Noir. 

Adrien set his pencil down and rubbed a hand over his face. He could have sworn she said ‘Rosemary’ last time they talked, but that blonde guy insisted that there weren’t any new students there. Maybe he just hadn’t met her yet? No, that didn’t make any sense. School had already started by then. Adrien assumed the guy would notice if he suddenly had a new classmate. 

Ugh. If only he could visit her again.. Between patrol with his lady, akuma attacks, homework, and photoshoots, going out as Chat Noir to see Marinette was nearly impossible. He really needed to have a talk with Nathalie about getting more free time.

“Alya, Marinette is killing me!” 

Adrien glanced up from his paper- That’s right, he’s supposed to be working on his own school right now -just in time to see Lila wiping fake tears from her eyes as she walked into the classroom. Although they still had a good five or ten minutes before class started, she was the only who wasn’t currently seated at her desk, and judging by her greeting, Adrien was going to assume that she entered last on purpose.

“What!” Alya gasped, standing up from her desk to meet Lila halfway. “What did she do now?”

Lila sniffed and accepted the comforting hug that Alya offered. “She’s been sending me awful messages all week! Telling me she hates me and insulting me and that I should’ve just stayed in Italy where I belonged.”

Adrien shifted in his seat to hear the conversation better, a frown tugging at the corner of his lips. Another scheme to slander Marinette’s good name.. Why did Lila still feel the need to lie about her? The ravenette was gone, completely transferred to another school, too far to even breath about Lila’s fabrications. There was no reason to turn their classmates further against her. (if that was even possible at this point)

“She told you what?!” Alya blanched, pulling back to grab Lila’s shoulders. “I can’t believe her! wasn’t sabotaging the forms you needed to be class president enough? Why can’t she leave you alone!”

Adrien resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Now that lie had a reason to it. He knew first hand how thick those stacks of forms can be since he’s helped Marinette carry them a few times, and Lila was obviously too lazy or too unqualified (or both) to sift through all of that mess by herself. What Adrien didn’t understand about the lie, though, was why she had to drag Marinette into it. Again. Why not lie about feeling unwell? Or simply ask for time to adjust to the role that had practically been dumped onto her? Any of those excuses would not only have been easier to say, as they didn’t involve anyone but herself, but they probably would have been accepted just as wholly. So why? It was as though Marinette became a crutch for Lila, which he supposed made sense. Building onto a widely accepted lie would be much simpler than creating a million small lies, but it certainly came with a risk. For example, if Adrien were to, say, kick that crutch right out from under her, she would probably flounder around on the floor with no way to get back up again. 

This left Adrien with another important question: How was he going to do it? So far, his friends have been sticking to her like glue and taking in her words like they were given directly from the Bible. On top of that, Alya seems to have become Lila’s official guard dog. How was he supposed to work around that? Adrien couldn’t confront the brunette publicly, because Marinette was proof that that never ended well, and confronting Lila privately didn’t help either, because she would only blow him off again. No, he needed to focus on outing her to his classmates directly, but he also needed to be subtle about it. Which meant..

Which meant he’d have to beat her at her own game.

“That’s crazy!” Adrien piped up, plastering on a surprised and disgusted expression. “Can I see the texts?”

Lila and Alya turned to him, both equally shocked by his comment. He normally kept to himself during conversations about Marinette.

“Oh..” Lila blinked, gathering her thoughts. “I mean, of course! It’s just that.. they’re quite personal, you know.. She said some things that were close to home..”

“We completely understand.” Alya assured. 

“Completely,” Adrien agreed, “which is why I want to see how bad it is. Those texts can be considered harassment if you don’t feel safe.”

Alya frowned at him, but a spark arose in Lila’s eyes, one that was no doubt fueled by the thought of getting Marinette into trouble with the law. Adrien would never understand the hatred that Lila harbored for the ravenette, but he definitely knew how to use it to his advantage.

“Oh, I wouldn’t want her to get in trouble!” The brunette said with feigned concern. “But.. if you think it will help..”

She made a show of tentatively pulling out her phone and handing it to Adrien. He wasted no time snatching it from her hands and pulling up the texting app. If she was giving him the phone, she most likely had a series of fake texts to back up her story. (and they would be fake. Marinette was too nice to outwardly insult or bully others. Besides, she wouldn’t have the time even if she wanted to, what with her new school, homework, and fashion designs that she needed to tend to.)

Sure enough, he found messages upon messages of insults under the contact name “Marinette”. Things like “You’re only a model because of Gabriel’s pity and charity programs”, “You made our school’s reputation so pathetic that I had to leave”, and “They’ll find out soon that you’re too stupid to be a decent class rep.” were only the tip of the iceberg. Adrien noted the fact that there weren’t any comments about Lila’s looks specifically- she probably couldn’t think of any insults like that herself, since she was obviously so fashionable -but other than, the texts appeared to be authentic.

That is, except for the phone number.

Adrien slid further into his desk and pulled out his own phone to unlock it. A swift comparison between the two contacts proved not only that they had different phone numbers for Marinette, but that the phone number used for the harassing texts was actually the phone number that Adrien had for Lila. She must have texted herself, then deleted the doubles to make it look like a regular conversation between two people. Adrien had to hand it to her, it was a clever set-up. 

But not clever enough.

“Wow, this is awful.” Adrien declared, ensuring that both girls along with a few of their other classmates could hear him. “I’m going to text Marinette about this right now. Do you mind if I copy the number from your phone to text her, though? Some of my contacts got deleted a while back.”

Lila’s eyes widened, and panic briefly flickered across her features. 

“O-Oh, um- you really don’t have to do that-” She tried to say as she reached for her phone. 

Adrien pulled it back up with a smile. “Oh, but I want to! We can’t let Marinette get away with things like this.”

“Yeah, he’s right!” Alya eagerly agreed. “Let him talk to her. That should really pack a punch for Marinette.”

Although the comment was a bit odd, Adrien nodded along, because as long as Alya was on his side, this plan should work perfectly. 

“I’m typing in the number to call right now.” He announced, quickly punching in each digit. His only regret in that moment was that he couldn’t see Lila’s expression as he got closer to ‘accidentally’ outing her. However, the sheer panic in her voice was still enough to make his smile widen to a grin.

“No, you can’t!” She nearly shrieked, lunging over Adrien for her phone. If the class’ eyes weren’t on them before, they definitely were now. 

“Don’t worry, Lila.” Adrien said innocently as he pressed ‘call’ on the number. “I won’t tell her that you gave me her number.”

As expected, Lila’s phone immediately began to ring. He watched as the blood drained from her features, and she scrambled to turn off the device before it could finish the first ring. It was a decent move, in his opinion, but that didn’t stop the class from staring at her with a mix of surprise, suspicion, and curiosity.

“What was that?” Alya asked, leaning forward to help Lila get off of Adrien, “Was your phone ringing?”

“No, no! It was- uhm -” Lila let out a nervous, little laugh.  It’d been so long since she had to fight for her lies to stick that she must have forgotten how to lie on the spot. What a shame.

“That was just a small sound my phone makes when it turns off.” She blurted out. “I must have forgotten to charge it last night.”

Adrien pressed “end” on his call- because obviously he wasn’t going to get anywhere with Lila’s phone off -and glanced around the classroom to gauge their reactions. Those closest to the conversation were warily watching the scene unfold with furrowed eyebrows, doubt clear on their expressions. The farther ones, however, nodded along with what Lila was saying. They probably hadn’t heard most of the conversation beforehand and therefore had no reason to question her. 

“Oh,” Alya said, accepting the bullcrap answer as always, “that’s not good. Do you want to use my charger in case you need your phone later?”

Lila offered a sweet smile, stray bits of her confidence floating back to her due to Alya’s reassurance. “Ah, I’m fine. I wouldn’t want to trouble you or anythi-”

A soft rumbling shook the ground, causing the Italian girl to trail off. Adrien turned to the window, his breath catching in his throat as his thumb instinctively brushed over his ring. Was now really the best time?

In the distance, a cloud of dust was rising into the air. He’d seen enough- and done enough -to know that only the mass destruction of buildings could create such a cloud, and the mayor hadn’t informed them of any pre-planned constructions.

“Yes!” Alya cheered, leaping down the classroom steps. Leave it to her to be the only one excited about another akuma attack. “Finally!  It feels like we haven’t had an akuma in weeks!”

“Alya, wait!” Nino called after her. He always hated her little escapades. 

“Don’t worry,” Adrien said as he stood up, “I’ll take care of her.”

Right after I take care of the akuma.

~~~~~~~~

The little hands of Felix’s black wrist watch ticked away well past 12:30, reminding him of his frustrating failure to set a timer for their lunch period. How could he have forgotten? The notion had to be ingrained into his muscle memory by now. Get up, go to school, burn through the first few classes, set a timer to not waste time, and go to lunch. How did it slip his mind?

“I can’t believe I didn’t ask this sooner,” Allegra remarked as they exited the café, “but what happened to your guys’ faces? I’m pretty sure they weren’t that red before.”

Felix glanced towards Claude and Marinette, the excuse to his forgetfulness finally returning. He’d been in the middle of setting the alarm when he saw their tomato-colored faces in front of the Chemistry lab. The sight must have been enough to throw away all thoughts of setting his alarm as he asked what happened. Nevertheless, Felix still had time to copy down some notes before his next class, and that would suit him just fine for today.

“Oh, man, how have I not told you yet?” Claude snorted. “It was hilarious!”

Marinette let out a light, yet playful scoff next to him. “Define ‘hilarious’.”

The group shared a small chuckle, and Claude jumped into the story of how they- well, how he spilled their chemicals in class. It surely couldn’t have been as interesting as the brunette let on, but Claude always loved to be dramatic. He made voices for Marinette’s comments- which she jokingly took offence towards due to the unrealistically high pitch -and flailed his arms about while explaining how he poured the chemicals into a bag and mixed them. Claude even made a point to throw out his arms while mimicking the sound of an explosion when he got to the part of the story where the chemicals overflowed.

One of those arms happened to smack Felix in the shoulder, which easily brought a glare out of the blonde. If Claude was this energetic now, there was no telling how bad he was going to be during Allegra’s sleepover. In fact, the whole group was probably going to go overboard. Something about sleepovers tended to bring out the most outgoing side of a person, which was why Felix loathed them. He had to sit there and listen to everyone snort and laugh and be loud the entire evening without the comfort that he might be able to leave within an hour or two. It was torture, simply put.

And yet, he decided to go. All for the ludicrous thought that he might be able to ask Marinette more questions about her relations to Agreste and her old school once- or if -the night provided them a moment of privacy. The motivation itself was outright foolish if he were honest with himself. Even if he did acquire a “decent moment” to bring up the subject, she would most likely be uncomfortable talking about it, and dragging a person through the past that they’re deliberately trying to run from isn’t pleasant for anyone involved. That’s why he’s refrained from asking about it again so far.

Felix needed to find some other way to sedate his curiosity towards her. He did.. But how else was he going to find out why an aspiring fashion designer would run from the supposed affections of a top designer’s son? Felix guessed that it might be something like sexual harassment or another, equally disgusting treachery, but then what about the chest of gifts? Where her affections for the model had been clear? What type of fallout must one have with another person to risk their entire dream career just to escape them?

Felix shook his head slightly to push the thoughts out of his mind. He wasn’t going to barrage Marinette with question after question just to stop his mind from constantly turning when it probably wouldn’t stop anyway. Marinette was Marinette. A classmate of his that was kind, clumsy yet capable, overly-generous, determined, weirdly strong for someone of her stature, and a mystery in more ways than one when it came to the life she lived. That was going to have to be enough for him.

“You should have seen it, Allegra.” Claude said with a grin, pulling Felix back to the present. He’d somewhat forgotten that the brunette was even talking.

“It was like the whole bag of Phenol Red just went-”

A large crash erupted to the left of them, followed by a strong gust of wind that pushed them all off of their feet. Felix hit the pavement with a grunt, and Marinette landed on top of him a second later, sucking the rest of the air from his lungs. Screams pierced the air, disorienting him further- why were they screaming? What made the crash? How did it create enough wind to knock them over? -but Marinette sat up immediately. She turned to the source of the crash, tense and ready, as though she already knew what they were dealing with, and Felix couldn’t be more confused. Why did she look like she was about to fight something? (And why did he feel like she would win?)

“Do not be afraid!” A voice yelled over the crowds, drawing Felix’s gaze to a woman standing a few yards away from them. She was dressed in dark and light blues, save for her white elbow-length cloak and her white skirt that appeared to be split into several different pieces of cloth. “I’ve come to help! Not just you, but the world!”

Felix’s eyes widened, an entirely new form of terror taking hold of his body. This wasn’t.. This couldn’t be an akuma, right? She looked different than the ones he’d seen on the news, more human. If it weren’t for her white and dark blue mask and the large fan in her hands that seemed to be controlling the wind, he would have thought that she was a normal civilian merely passing by. 

“Our planets have been spoiled by the bigger companies for too long!” The woman continued, even though people ran as she spoke. “It’s time we take matters into our own hands!”

His mind screamed at him to run, to hide, to move, but he couldn’t. His entire being was cemented to the spot in fear of what might happen next. What if this akuma was dangerous? What if her powers possessed people like that Pharaoh themed villain? Or completely killed them like Stoneheart or TimeTagger? Were they going to be her first victims? What if it-

A harsh tug interrupted his reeling thoughts, and suddenly, Felix was back on his feet and running. Running behind Marinette who was pulling them to safety. 

“Hurry up, we don’t have much time!” She quietly called over her shoulder. “Let’s hide behind the wooden fence while she’s distracted.”

Felix had enough sense to look ahead of them, where a small, wooden fence that held the cafe’s menu was placed. It wasn’t hard to notice under normal circumstances, but how did Marinette think of hiding there while the akuma was right behind them? How was she not paralyzed by the very idea of being caught?

“I’m going to destroy some stores around here, but only to get the heroes’ attention!” The akuma explained as the group scrambled passed the fence and pressed their backs against the wood. “Once I have the miraculous, I will restore everything to its rightful place, I promise!”

Felix tried to slow his rapid, shallow breaths as he sank further against the fence. She was going to destroy buildings? How many? Were they going to get hit with the debris? Where were the heroes that he’d heard so much about? Shouldn’t they be doing something about all of this?

“What do we do?” Claude whispered, panic clear in his tone as well. None of them had ever seen an akuma attack before. Well, none of them except Allan, but he’d been watching through a store window a safe distance away.

“Should we call the police?” Allegra nearly squeaked, tentatively reaching for her bag to pull out her phone. “They help with stuff like this too, right?”

“No need.” Marinette said. She was on the left side of Felix now, staying close to the edge of the fence and carefully peeking around it. “The police have akuma alerts on their phones to tell them when attacks happen. They're already on their way, I’m sure.”

Felix stared down at her with furrowed eyebrows, completely baffled by the lack of panic in her demeanor. This was the same girl who stumbled and stuttered to ask him for a pencil during class! Yet here she was, taking charge and giving orders and speaking perfectly. It was like she was a completely different person! How was that even possible? 

“Alright,” The ravenette spoke, turning back to them with a deathly serious gaze, “I’m going to run out and get her attention. While I’m doing that, you guys need to run as far away from here as you can and find a good basement to hide in until this is over.”

“What?” The group practically gasped in unison. She wanted to face the akuma alone?!

“Marinette, you’re not going anywhere!” Allegra insisted. “It’s not safe out there!”

“It’s less safe if we stay here.” She replied, moving to step out into the open.

Felix grabbed her wrist to yank her back. What was happening right now? 

“Are you insane?” He hissed unintentionally. “You can’t go out there! You’re going to get yourself killed!”

“Yeah, she’s not after us.” Allan agreed. “Only the buildings. Let’s just all run out of here together.”

Marinette glanced back at the group. “But there are still people in those buildings. I need to lure her to an empty street or at least stall until the heroes get here. If I don’t, people are definitely going to get hurt or worse.”

Felix’s grip on Marinette’s wrist tightened. He hadn’t thought about the crowds of people who were running inside for cover, but even so, what would she be able to do alone? The akuma was a powerful being, and they were merely civilians in the crossfire. What’s stopping it from crushing Marinette beneath its boot at the slightest whim? Who’s to say the akuma would even listen to Marinette if she did get its attention?

“We’re not letting you sacrifice yourself for an extra second of time.” He told her. “Like you said, the police are on their way, which means the heroes will be here soon too. Let them handle it.”

A strange mix of urgency and frustration flickered across her features, and she tugged against his grip. “Felix, please, we don’t have time to argue-”

“I think I’ll start with this darling café.” The akuma crooned. “That should get some attention.”

The café walls crumbling apart was Felix’s only warning before the gust of wind made it to their little hide-out. It splintered the wood within seconds, and the group went flying, once again, into the pavement. 

Felix groaned as he pushed himself to his knees. How many times were they going to get thrown around? At least Marinette didn’t land on him this time.

Marinette.

The realization that Marinette was no longer with him washed over Felix like a bucket of ice cold water, and his gaze snapped upwards. He started to yell for her, but it was too late. Marinette was already on her feet, somehow recovering faster than all of them, and running towards the akuma head on. He could only watch in abject horror as she called out to it.

“Hey, airhead!” She yelled. “Do you really think this is the smartest plan?”

The akuma rounded on Marinette in an instant, and Felix sucked in a breath. No, no, no, no, what was she doing?

“My name is ‘Whirlwind’, thank you very much,” The woman snapped, “and I think it’s a brilliant plan. Do you think you can do something better?”

“Of course.” Marinette replied, crossing her arms. “If you’re already destroying buildings, why not go and destroy the big companies that you’re after in the first place? It’d be much more productive, don’t you think?”

Felix furrowed his eyebrows. Didn’t she say that she wanted to avoid public places?

Whirlwind hummed. “Well, yes, but with all of the major hotels and tourist spots, it’s hard to tell which buildings to destroy, and I don’t have time to look.”

“I’ll show you where they are.” Marinette offered. “Think about it, destroying a big, company building is sure to attract more attention than taking down a little café, right?”

Whirlwind narrowed her eyes as she thought it over, and a part of Felix desperately hoped that she would decline Marinette’s suggestion. A bigger part of him prayed that the police or the heroes or somebody showed up to stop this before Marinette went too far.

“Alright.” Whirlwind smiled. “I’ll take you up on that. It’s nice to see someone else interested in saving the environment.”

With a flick of her fan, Whirlwind gathered a gust of wind around Marinette, causing the ravenette to rise into the air. She then gave herself a gust of wind, which caused her white skirt to start spinning around her. If Felix wasn’t going pale with dread over what might happen to his classmate, he would have found the unique fashion choice to be humorous, as it almost reminded him of a box fan. 

Allegra let out a horrified shriek, one that rattled Felix to his bones. This was really happening. Marinette was really being carried off by some maniac in a costume. What were they going to do? What could they do? Gosh, where were the heroes?

Felix grit his teeth and forced himself to his feet. He couldn’t just stand there and watch her be kidnapped or he’d never be able to look her in the eyes afterwards.

That’s right, he told himself. The heroes were going to win, and she was going to be just fine. 

Those thoughts didn’t stop him from sprinting after the akuma, though, even as the trio called after him to stop, even as the akuma rose higher into the air, out of his reach. Marinette couldn’t do this by herself, and although Felix’s presence probably wouldn’t make much of a difference either, he’d be darned if he didn’t try to help. 

“Don’t worry,” He huffed, comforting himself more than her as he darted through alleyways to keep up with them, “I’m right behind you.”

Tag list:  @artbyknigit @athena452 @nickristus-dreamer @throneoffirebreathingbitchqueen @arsaem @abrx2002 @neakco @pawsitivelymiraculous @too0bsessedformyowngood @nathleigh @lusicing @officiallydarkgeek @all-mights-asscheeks @tbehartoo @woe-is-me0 @raeuberprinzessin @lazuli-11 @miss-chaos27 @trippingovermyfeet @sadpotatoondrugs @ladybug-182 @jaggedheart11 @marinahrasauce @i-need-blog-ideas @thewheezingbubbledragon @crazylittlemunchkin @unabashedbookworm @moonystars14 @sunflowers-and-mooncakes @2confused-2doanything  @magnificentcrapposts  @moonnette @nickristus-dreamer @vixen-uchiha @casual-darkness @luxmorningstarr @jjmjjktth​ @kaithehero @itsme1598 @theymakeupfairies @xjaccyx

[mercy-burning]

I Felt A Burning (Songbird Chapter 3)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: As it turns out, distance makes the heart grow fonder. Reader finds herself missing Spencer while he’s away, so the two of them find unique ways to spend time with one another. Rating: 18+ Warnings: Smut (penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie, dirty talk, male and female masturbation, squirting), Language Word Count: 6.3k

SERIES MASTERLIST SERIES PLAYLIST (new songs added with the release of each new chapter)

NOTE: Sorry this is a little late.. This series is giving me a rough time at the moment, so I’ll probably need a little time to work out some of the kinks (pun intended?) but I’m still very excited to share the rest with you, because I do think it’s going to end up being one of my favorite things I’ve ever written!

So, this month I’m going to take some time to work on requests for my 1k celebration (More info on that here if you want to check it out and send in some requests), and once they’re all complete, I’ll come back to Songbird! It’s not technically on hold, but chapter updates will probably stay pretty spread out while I try to make each one the best they can be 🥰

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

***

"I've never seen him this attached to his phone, it's almost like he's a whole different person."

I don't think JJ realized I could hear her, and she probably thought I wasn't paying attention. To be fair, I wasn't paying that much attention. But I had to be cautious; As much as I loved texting with Y/N, I knew what my friends would do if they found out the nature of our conversations. Or that I was texting a woman outside of a professional setting... Or that I was texting a woman at all.

"I wonder who could have him that caught up," I heard Emily say.

Deciding to take matters into my own hands, I spoke up, keeping my eyes locked on my screen. "Her name is Sudoku. It's something to do to pass the time."

"Oh, so he is alive," Emily quipped, and everyone laughed. I even let out a little smile. "Why invest money in a smartphone when you don't even like the technology? I mean, you can buy puzzle books for like a dollar a piece, anyway..."

The first time Y/N texted me a... rather scandalous photo of herself, I'd ended up having to wait until I got home, transferring and downloading the file to my computer there because I couldn't get it on my phone. And then she called me and said that if we were going to do this properly I needed to be able to see the photos while I was away, otherwise there wouldn't be a point.

And the funny thing was, I didn't hesitate to purchase a smartphone immediately after we hung up.

I have to say, it was really handy. Sure, it was still taking some getting used to. And I much preferred my old phone, but getting to experience these rather adventurous text exchanges with her made it all worth it.

"Endless puzzles on the free app is much cheaper than buying a new book every few days. It's not bad," I finally said.

Just as Derek mentioned something about Penelope finally 'bringing me to the dark side', my phone buzzed in my hand and my heart buzzed in my chest.

The rest of the team talked amongst themselves, leaving me to 'my game' and I was glad to have a cover.

But when I opened the message and saw the photo Y/N sent me, I felt like the most obvious person in the world. Surely there was no way that no one else didn't know what I was looking at, right? Because I felt my face get hot, and something equally warm stirred in my lower stomach.

Shifting my bag over my lap just in case, I swallowed and examined the photo further.

The camera framed her body from the top of her mouth to her chest. She was completely bare, her bottom lip formed in a pout and saliva leaking out and down her chin. My eyes followed the trail down to her exposed breasts, where a round, red lollipop was covering her right nipple. I could barely see her piercing from behind it.

My phone buzzed again with another photo attachment, this time revealing a different angle. The lollipop was positioned right above her clit, just barely touching it, and looked like she was dripping wet. Immediately I wondered whether or not she'd touched herself with the lollipop, and if so, had she tasted herself on the candy? What did it taste like? Would she be willing to let me try when I landed and could finally see her again?

My phone buzzed a third time, and it almost scared me. This time it was just a text: I hope you appreciated those. It was far less sexy to take them than you'd probably think. Definitely more sticky, too. Gonna take a shower. Might send you some more, if you can handle it. —Stranger

I tried not to smile too hard, fully aware of my friends on the other side of the jet, and texted back as discreetly as I could: I always appreciate the effort. As for what I can handle, you'll come to find I'm full of surprises.

It didn't take long for a response to show up: Well, I'll just have to test that out when you come back to me, won't I, Doc?

My breath caught, and I don't think I'd ever wished for the plane to land faster than I did at that moment. I thought about asking when we were expected home, but figuring that might be a little more suspicious, I thought better of it and decided to wait it out.

I messaged her back: Text you when we land, and then pulled up the Sudoku puzzle app to keep myself busy until I could see her in person.

***

Maybe it was a little ridiculous dressing up for someone when they were just going to take it off of you almost immediately after walking through the door, but for one thing, I needed to wear something while I waited for him to get here.

And for another, it made me feel sexy, and in the end that's all I needed to know.

I wore a matching white lace bra and underwear set with high stockings. It was simple, but as I'd learned over the past month, Spencer really liked white on me. So I knew this was a good option, even if ultimately he didn't care what I wore (or didn't wear). To leave it a little surprise, I threw on a robe and read on the couch until he would text me.

But even as my book was open in my lap, my eyes didn't scan the pages. Instead I stared off into space, thinking about what a month it had been.

A whole month, and everything was going great. Not that I expected it to be awful or anything, but over time, even though Spencer and I had strictly been sleeping together without any strings, every time he was gone I felt like something was missing.

It confused the hell out of me.

And not because he wasn't worth missing—that actually wasn't the case. It was the fact that I was the one missing him at all that confused me. I mean, it was obvious from the beginning of our sexual relationship that I was willing to break a few rules of mine just to be around him, but... Feeling these things so soon? Missing his presence when he wasn't near me?

It was all so unfamiliar and completely different from any relationship I'd been in before, and a large part of me wanted to stop it all together. But really, I knew that was ridiculous, because nothing was wrong. He always respected my wishes, he made me feel good, and he was always kind and reassuring. He even bought a brand new fucking phone just so we could sext while he was away. It was obvious that he would have done a lot for me, and for the sake of keeping our arrangement steady... And from the little I did know about him, he seemed like the type of person who would be totally understanding about any issue I had, whether it was of a sexual nature or not.

Simply put, he was perfect.

So why did I not want to let him in? Why was it so fucking hard for me to believe that I could actually date him like a normal person and be okay?

Maybe I just needed to take things slow. I could do that, right?

Yeah. I totally could.

When he got here, the first matter of business, of course, would be to have sex with him. Because he'd been away for almost a week now, and the whole time we texted back and forth about all the things we wished we could do to each other. And his job was stressful, so whenever he came back he liked to relieve some of that stress, which I was more than willing to give him. No matter my conflicted feelings, our arrangement was so solid that I had no doubts about what would happen the second he walked through my door.

And then, when it was all over, he would leave. He always did, even if I sometimes asked him to stay until I fell asleep. But maybe tonight I could tell him to stay and fall asleep with me instead. That would be a good first step, right? I could explain how he must be exhausted from work and travelling, so he should just rest and I would be willing to let him sleep in bed beside me.

Yeah. That was a good plan.

Except, what would I do in the morning, then? Would everything be awkward? Would he get up before me and leave before I even woke up? And if that was the case, would he leave another note? Maybe he would still be asleep when I woke up, and then I could make him breakfast or something. Mayb—

My phone went off beside me, snapping me out of my excessive thinking. Thank God...

I read the text with a smile forming as soon as I saw his name at the top of the screen: Be at your place in 20 minutes.

After sending back a winking-face emoji, I set my phone on the table and put the book next to it. And then I took a deep breath and reminded myself to take it easy. Everything was going to be just fine.

Everything was going to be just fine.

I must have repeated it to myself over and over until he actually showed up, because it felt like only a minute had passed before a knock sounded at the door.

"It's me!" Spencer called out, and my heart raced.

Even as I strode over to the door, I couldn't seem to slow the fast pace of my heartbeat. And when I opened the door to see him with a brighter-than-the-sun smile, I thought it might completely burst out of my chest.

"Hey, Stranger," I whispered, stepping aside to let him in. As soon as the door closed, he leaned in to kiss my cheek, and I couldn't resist. I grabbed his face and pulled his lips to mine, kissing him deeply and with as much care as I could convey. He dropped his bag and melted into me completely, wrapping his arms around my lower back and pulling me closer to him. In turn I melted into him, sighing into his mouth.

I couldn't tell you how long we stayed like that, standing at the front door and making out like he'd just come back from war. It felt like it could have been forever, but however long it was, I couldn't have cared any more or less. It was perfect.

His hands slid down my back and splayed over the curve of my ass, making me laugh against his mouth. I felt him smile before he pulled away just a little, just enough to keep our noses touching.

"I missed you," he said simply, though with those three words alone it felt like it was complex and enduring enough to chip away at the walls I put up.

And strangely I didn't mind. When he was here, touching me, smiling at me, speaking to me, I felt... serene. It was like the stillest water you could imagine—no ripples, no waves... Just clear water, so still it was like a horizontal mirror.

"Missed you more," I drawled out, running my hands through his hair and rubbing my nose against his. "I even wore something special."

"You did?" he mused, running his hands back over my back and then around to the front of the robe I'd put on over my lingerie. He probably already noticed the stockings, unless he was just as blindsided as I'd been by the fact that we were finally together again that he didn't actually notice. But either way, his whole body went still when he pulled my robe away and took me in. I anchored myself to him by holding his hands, studying his face as it looked me up and down and grew stronger with desperation with every passing second.

"You like it?" I finally asked.

The mood almost completely shifted when he met my eyes. I could have sworn they grew darker.

"I like you," he breathed, right before he reached forward, grabbing my face with both his hands, and kissing me again. This time it was primal, every nerve in my body going numb at the way he practically consumed me. It was all hands and tongue and teeth and warmth.

I clutched onto his shirt, pulling his body closer to mine as I was desperate to be connected to him on every physical level. A gravelly moan slipped my mouth when he reached behind my head and lightly tugged at the roots of my hair, to which he tugged a little harder. I returned the favor, using my other hand to mirror the hair pulling he was performing on me, and he groaned almost as intensely as I did.

I didn't even know we were at the kitchen table until I was sitting on it, my legs instinctively wrapping around Spencer's waist and my arms doing the same to his neck. His tongue slipped into my mouth with ease, just like it had a million times before. And it was just as intoxicating.

He moved his hand to my back, sliding around the clasp of the bra before he paused and pulled away, studying my face. I wasn't sure what he was thinking, but with the way his hands slid over my body like they were merely exploring, I had a feeling it was going to work out in my favor.

"You got all dressed up just for me, I'd feel bad to make you take it off," he mused, finally letting his eyes roam the length of my body.

"Whatever are we going to do about that," I mused right back, biting my lip when he met my eyes again.

His lips twitched into a smirk for a brief second before he moved his hands to unbuckle his pants. "I guess you'll just have to keep them on while I fuck her right here on the table."

I couldn't help the excited whimper that came out of my mouth as I leaned back on my hands and waited for him to get situated. My hand drifted to my panties, sliding them aside and dipping my middle finger through my pussy. "Did you like the pictures I sent you?"

I knew his answer was yes, but I wanted to get him more excited, and it seemed to do the trick—I could have sworn I saw his hands move faster, finally pushing his pants down as he took a step closer to me.

"Y/N, I have an eidetic memory, which basically means that I remember everything I see. Those pictures? They've been burned into my brain since I saw them, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about how badly I wanted to be with you again."

Each and every word fell heavy with this burning desire that set my whole body aflame. Added to the way he looked at me with the same intensity, it was practically the perfect formula for my destruction. And the fact that he could just vividly remember everything I sent him? Every picture, every time he saw me in the flesh—desperate for him... God, it was all so fucking exciting. And that was putting it lightly, because no words could ever have been beautiful or poetic enough to describe the way this man made me feel.

It all must have been written all over my features, because Spencer stared down at me and hummed amusedly His hands reached out to spread my legs by my knees, his touch sending shivers all throughout my body.

I reached out to grip his dick, slowly stroking it as I bit my lip and blinked up at him. "You have no idea how much I missed you this week," I got out, barely above a whisper.

"Oh, I think I do," he answered, right before he stepped forward and slid my panties aside. We both moved together then, me leaning forward to meet him as he brought his hips forward and ran his dick slowly along the opening of my pussy. He slapped it gently over my clit a few times, making me whimper out again which in turn made him smile a little. "How bad do you want it, pretty girl?"

"I want it bad," I answered simply, my voice low and on the verge of begging.

He seemed happy with that answer, a low hum coming from his throat in approval as he ran the tip of his dick through me again. And when he pushed it in just slightly, I wiggled under him in anticipation."

"Eager, are we?" he mused, stilling and bringing his thumb to gently circle my clit.

I threw my head back with an exasperated sigh that I only slightly truly meant in earnest. "Hell yeah, I'm eager. You promised to fuck me on the table, so when are you gonna deliver?"

Without another word, he slammed forward into me, and I gasped out, already falling apart at the burning I felt throughout my whole body.

"You're gonna regret being impatient, you know," Spencer grumbled, though the way I knew I had him practically wrapped around my finger told me that his threat was nothing more than a string of words that would fray and unravel into nothing once I got a tug on it.

And tug on it I did. Because he may have been the one currently obliterating me on my kitchen table, but the second I started talking, I knew he'd be just as ruined—maybe even a little more, though at the very least it would be an even playing field.

So I clenched around him as he continued fucking me at a brutal pace, spreading my legs wider and moaning out maybe a little too dramatically. "Oh, you've missed this tight little cunt, haven't you, baby boy?"

His arms wrapped around my legs and he scooted me closer, giving him a deeper angle inside me as a strangled moan rolled past his lips and his eyes almost rolled back. "Fuck, Y/N, I..."

As the words struggled to come out, I laughed, puffing my chest out and tilting my head to the side. "That's right... That's fuckin' right..."

It really didn't take long for either of us to reach orgasm, between our banter and the sheer force at which he drove into me while I clenched around him every so often, matching his rhythm perfectly despite how staggered everything was becoming with every passing second.

"Fuck, Spence, that's it," I breathed, reaching a hand out to graze his stomach with my fingertips. "I'm gonna cum..."

"Me, t— shit..."

Feeling him spill over inside me as I came around him reminded me just how much I missed having him with me, because no matter how good I made myself feel with a vibrator while he was away, nothing ever compared to that feeling; How full he made me feel, how tingly I felt when he moaned out my name, how warm his hands were as they gripped my skin to keep himself steady as he just fucking gave it all to me until there was nothing left... It was all so intense that I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to recover.

Which was why, even after he pulled out of me, I laid back on the table completely, letting my legs dangle off. My eyes closed as I tried to catch my breath and eventually I let out a breathy laugh.

"Fuck, man, maybe we should spend time apart more often, because that was..."

The weight of what I'd said didn't even really hit me until his phone started to ring, and I remembered my plan, that spending time apart was actually what I didn't want and I was supposed to tell him to stay...

I sat up and watched as he grabbed his phone from the pocket of his pants, which were on the floor. He pulled them up with him as he stood up again, murmuring a quick 'sorry' to me before taking the call.

I could see his ants were struggling to stay up, so I reached out and grabbed him by the belt loop, pulling him to me and buttoning his pants up for him as he spoke.

"Yeah, Hotch?" he said, smiling down at me because of what I was doing. I smiled right back with a wink, fixing up and straightening out his pants before I saw his smile falter.

A ball of disappointment started to roll in the pit of my stomach as I heard Spencer say, "Oh..." rather sadly. If I had to take a guess, he was probably being called into work again so soon, and once again I would be left alone.

"O—Okay, I'll be right in," he said, confirming my suspicions. Once he said goodbye, He put his phone back in his pocket and smiled at me apologetically. "Sorry I have to leave so soon, I was hoping to spend at least a little more time together before I left."

And I was kind of hoping I'd ask you to stay... "Oh, it's okay... I guess... absence makes the heart grow fonder?"

We both laughed a little, though it was clear the mood was still a bit dismal. So to lighten it I sat up a bit straighter and smirked, spreading my legs a little and feeling his cum slowly drip out. "Well, why don't you take a picture or two? Something to remember me by?"

I could tell he appreciated the playfulness I put forth, but he didn't take his phone out. "That's the thing about having an eidetic memory, I won't need a picture. Anytime I want, I can just remember you like this. Plus, I won't risk anyone else seeing anything."

I scoffed with a smile. "Please... I would hope you aren't looking at the pictures I send you in a room full of your colleagues."

"I don't. But I do work with a bunch of profilers, all of whom would just love to tease me until the end of time if they ever discovered what I was doing with you in my free time."

I was going to say something, but he cut me off, stepping forward and bringing his hand down to brush against the inside of my thigh. "But, if it'll make you feel better... I can give you something to remember me by..."

"What's that?" I breathed out, looking up at him as his hand travelled to my pussy.

He dipped his middle finger inside of me and felt around, leaning forward until his lips were barely brushing mine. My whole body seemed like it was going to crumble down at any given second, when he spoke quietly. "A taste."

"Of... what?"

He brought his finger out of me and brought it to my lips, and I took it in without even thinking. I groaned around him as he spoke again, his gaze unwavering and downright life-ruining. "Us. This is what we taste like together... A perfect harmony. Don't you think?"

I wanted to tell him that he wouldn't know because he hadn't actually tasted it himself, but the whole thing was so fucking hot that I didn't even bother arguing. I just sat there, whining around his finger as he all but stared into my soul.

His finger slipped out of my mouth and ran along my chin as he tilted it up. "I want you to clean yourself up just like that. You can send me a picture when you're done so I can see, yeah?"

"And... What if I don't?"

Spencer smiled knowingly, taking one more swipe of his finger through me before bringing it to his own lips, sucking it clean like anyone would have with food, and stepping back from me completely. "You will."

He left, and I could have sworn I felt my soul leave my body.

***

I'm not sure where that came from, exactly. But Y/N had brought out this other side of me that was almost jarring as much as it was sexy. She was everything seductive and enticing that the world had to offer, and it fueled me in a way I couldn't explain. In fact, I was almost positive she wouldn't send any pictures, because what the hell kind of request was that? I certainly never would have thought of it before, but she gave me all these filthy thoughts and ideas that I never would have been able to dream up otherwise.

Which, precisely, is why I was second-guessing everything. I focused on what work we had to do, of course, but once we were settled in on the jet and on our way to the next city, I brought out my phone to text her.

But I wasn't sure what I would say. I'd have to find a way to apologize, of course, in case my request had been too weird, and that I definitely should have asked her if she was okay with me telling her what to do like that. I knew about dominant and submissive dynamics in sex of course, but that's not the type of relationship we had. And, to be completely honest, if anyone was going to be the dominant role in that dynamic, it most definitely would have been her. While I could be confident and somewhat in control when we had sex, and while sometimes she took on a rather submissive approach to our sessions and I found myself deeply turned on by that, I was not confident in my dominant side. I never could take full control like that, and with some of the things I've seen and experienced from Y/N, that role was definitely better suited for her than me.

But in the end it all came down to us trying new things. Or... rather, me trying new things. I figured she was way more experienced than me from the beginning, and that still remained true, though by the reaction I've had from her a few times, especially after tonight, it seemed I'd shaken her up a bit.

Whether that was a good thing or not would be dependent on how this conversation went.

I turned on my phone to see that I had three photos and one video attachment. My heartbeat picked up immediately, and I quickly shut it off to compose myself, already having a feeling of what might be there.

About a minute later, I got up to use the bathroom while everyone was catching up on some sleep. This was a bit of a longer flight than we were used to, so it kind of worked in my favor. But just to be safe, I snuck in the earbuds that came with the phone as well.

Once the door was shut, I leaned back against it and plugged in the earbuds, simultaneously trying to navigate through the phone to get to my messages. And once I was situated, I put the earbuds in and looked at the pictures first.

The first one could only be described as a 'before' photo, showcasing her pussy exactly how I left it, and that alone was enough to start a stirring in stomach. I examined the picture intently, feeling myself grow harder in my pants, and I knew this was dangerous. But somehow that made it all the more exciting. It was a good thing I decided to stay in the bathroom.

The second photo showed Y/N's middle and pointer fingers spreading herself wide, everything exposed and glistening. I looked at that one longer, but the third one took me out and made me slump my head against the door with a soft groan. She was pouting slightly, her bottom lip dripping with what was obviously the cum I'd left her with. I didn't even want to watch the video, because I knew once I did I'd be a goner. I didn't even know exactly what it would be, but it didn't matter, because no matter what Y/N did she would tear down every defense I had. Everything I thought I knew, my ability to think straight, all of it would be gone with one word—Hell, one look.

I managed to take a deep breath before opening the video and adjusting the volume. And knowing it was probably going to do some damage to me, I stood in front of the toilet, making sure the door was locked before taking my dick out of my pants and slowly starting to stroke it.

Through the screen, I saw that Y/N had repositioned the camera so that I had a full-body view of her on her kitchen table. I wasn't sure how she was able to keep her phone propped up or where it was, but as she started to move, I didn't really care one way or the other.

"I've already sent you some pictures, which I hope you looked at first, but I figured this would be... better proof," she was saying, her legs spreading wide so I had a perfect view of everything. She brought her hand down to circle her clit a few times, and the longer she went on, the louder and more obscene the sounds were.

"Fuck," I breathed as quietly as I could, taking everything in as my hand worked my dick a little faster. I could have watched her do just that forever.

But she went the next step, plunging two fingers inside herself and pumping them in and out slowly. Every once in a while she removed her hand and cleaned off her fingers, looking into the camera and burning a hole straight through me as she moaned.

"You're right," she said, scooping up more of our mess and spreading it around. "We do taste perfect. I think I'm gonna savor it for a while... Take my time."

Her fingers were torturously slow, and even though she taunted, I knew it was killing her, because it was written all over her face—her whole body, really. As her face contorted and her body seemed to shake, I wanted to tell her through the phone that she could go faster, that she didn't have to make it this hard, but I couldn't. All I could do was watch, and listen as she fingered herself and all of it was burning me up from the inside out.

By the time two minutes had passed, it looked like my cum was gone, but she was still going, determined to bring herself to release another time. Her fingers moved fast and hard, the glorious wet sounds combining symphonically with her moans and whimpers. As I could see her getting close, it was like I was there with her, feeling myself get there as well. I knew it wouldn't be long now, though I wished we could have done this forever. And if I was being honest with myself, I was probably going to do this more than once as long as we were still seeing each other.

What happened next surprised me, because... well, simply put, I wasn't expecting it. And I don't think she was either, because the pure blissful shock that plastered over her features as she tensed and squirted almost sent me into cardiac arrest.

I came then, trying desperately to keep quiet as I took in the image of Y/N coming undone right with me.

I was catching my breath when she sighed out with a smile and a laugh. She looked exhausted, but completely blissful and serene all the same as she spoke. "Fuck, I didn't expect that... But next time it happens, I want you here with me. Got it, Stranger?"

Although she couldn't hear me, I responded with a light, yet truly sincere, "Yes, Ma'am."

***

The studio had been empty for hours, and nothing ever made me happier. Truthfully, it was always my favorite part of the work day, when I went in early, when the sun was still below the horizon and almost everyone was still asleep. That was when I felt most creative, and after about two hours of messing around on the piano and acoustic guitar, I was still going strong.

Maybe I had Spencer to blame for that. For a week now he'd been gone, extremely busy with work, and I didn't get to see him in person, but we sent texts and pictures and videos all the time. Just last night we even video-chatted for a good three hours before he inevitably had to return to his job. And while I missed him, if anything I think the distance was good. Because while we spent time communicating, I was also able to focus on work and myself, and I didn't constantly have to worry about things moving too fast. Things couldn't move fast if there wasn't any physical contact, right?

I mean, sure, At this point I was practically craving his touch and his presence, but I knew that once we did get to see each other again, it would be practically electric. There was so much we'd talked about over the phone that we would probably have enough to keep us busy until he got called away again. And then the cycle would repeat.

But maybe that was wishful thinking. I liked this system, even if we hadn't really been at it for long. All I knew, though, was that it was currently working, and I was feeling incredible about my life in its current state.

I wished it could have stayed that way forever.

By the time Jules walked in, I'd written about two songs and was currently working on a third. The studio was littered with sticky-notes and notebook paper from all the ideas I had, and she shrugged off her thin jacket with a laugh. "How many songs has it been today?"

I set the guitar down and went to pick up some of the notes, organizing them haphazardly. "Two. Working on a third."

"Damn, Y/N, you've been on a roll this week. Hell, all month. So... Who's the inspiration?"

Shoving some of the notes into a folder, I raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Jules sat down at the large coffee table in the middle of the room and spread out, shaking her head slightly to the side to removed the auburn bangs from her eyes. "I'm a musician, too, Y/N, I know when inspiration strikes, and I especially know when it's because of a certain someone. So... Who are they?"

I hesitated saying anything, but Jules was right, and there was no way I'd be able to convince her nothing in particular was happening. So, I tried to keep it as vague as possible. "Oh, uh, this guy I met at a bar at open mic night."

She whistled as I took a seat across from her. "Damn... The sex must be pretty good if you're cranking out songs like an industrial machine."

I felt heat rise to my cheeks, but I nodded all the same. "Well, you'd be right. It's, uh... it's going pretty well."

"I'll say, you're practically glowing. Good for you, babe."

I could tell she wanted to say more, ask tons of questions (more specifically, when's the wedding?), but she knew me enough to refrain. She knew how I did with relationships, and she knew just how private I was. On multiple occasions she'd ask me why I was a musician if I didn't like sharing my personal life with people, but I'd always retorted with a simple truth: You didn't have to show anything to anyone if you didn't want to. There were thousands of different things to write about, and the beauty of storytelling was that you could create whatever you wanted, no matter how true it was to you.

As the day went on, and more of the writers for our friend's new album came in to work, I was pulled out of the 'relationship' headspace and plunged into work.

Honestly, I was relieved. Not because I didn't like thinking about Spencer, but the exact opposite.

That feeling wasn't something I was used to, and I wanted it to go away. At least while I was working, so I could focus on one thing at a time. I didn't let people in, and I didn't want to let them in if I could help it, and I certainly didn't like when things moved too fast, which they always seemed to do. And this time was no different, only now I think it was me who was starting to feel things too early.

It was searing. It was slowly starting to consume me, burning me from the inside out, and I didn't know what to do.

So I did the only think I did know how to do, and that was ignore it, replacing it with music, the one true comfort I'd ever known. I drowned myself in the cool ocean of work, merely hoping it would be enough to quell the frantic, petrifying, and rapidly growing wildfire that would surely be my downfall. And for a while it seemed like it was working.

And yet, somehow, by the time I left the studio, there was a dull ache in my chest that left me confused and scared.

Suddenly I was glad for that night we'd been interrupted before I asked him to stay, and that I never got the chance to follow through. I don't know what I would have done then. Because if that feeling, when he inevitably agreed and stayed the night, was anything like how I was feeling now, then it probably would have been a lot worse.

All the same, I came to the realization that no matter what I did or didn't do, he would always be there, taking up some amount of space in my being that refused to let go.

Whether I liked or not.

***

“I knew it when you looked my way That I’d be begging you to stay. I couldn’t say it to myself.

I felt a burning in the way I held on when you pulled away. I couldn’t say it to myself.

—Maggie Rogers, Say It

SERIES TAGLIST: @meowiemari @secretsilockaway​

Tags not working: @bluesunrise02 @teenwolfgirl90 

[drxwsyni]

Denied︱Yandere Shindo Yo x f!Reader

Prompt: “I can’t wait any longer.”

Trope: Jealous!Character x Friend!Character

a/n: This is my submission for the weekly nsfw prompt from the @bnhabookclub! I’m feeling really self-conscious about posting this so I hope it turned out okay. I don’t have any content for this character so I figured this might be a good start. Please read the warnings and only continue if you’re comfortable with them. This is set in a college/university au, quirks still exist and everyone is 18+.

5.8k words

Warnings: dubcon/noncon, swearing, some degradation at the end, yandere behaviour

_____

He was just another guy in your department at first.

Lingering in the study hall, making small talk with other students before lectures. You saw him a lot, but nothing ever moved past brief glances.

Your friends were the ones who introduced you to him. Whether you should be grateful or not was beyond you at this point.

It was late, you had a night class and were packing your laptop into your backpack at the end of a lecture. A Friday night usually didn’t mean much for you. Just as you were at the moment, your plans would usually lean towards the monotonous side. The comfort of your dorm room played a large part in those plans―but not tonight.

Those who chose to grace you with their presence time and time again, while you wouldn’t always consider them your friends, were set on dragging you out with them for drinks. You didn’t necessarily mind it, but the pushiness wasn’t completely appreciated. Especially when it came in the form of a couple not so restrained individuals.

Every friend group has their flirts, yours being no exception. Only now there was a new addition.

Shindo Yo.

He made his presence very clear. Transferring into your class right before the deadline for availability, he quickly wormed his way into your life. It was a matter of keeping himself in all the right places where he knew you would be.

Like with the peers you chose to hang around with, of course.

It was sickeningly quick, the way Yo grew comfortable in your presence. The whole night was spent trying to weasel your way from his side. It was a task that proved to be much harder than it should’ve.

You’d shove off the arm draped over your shoulders, or move away from his frame leaning against yours at a bar table. He just met you, yet he was already so goddamn clingy. As far as you were concerned, it only proved what kind of person he was. Someone who got too comfortable too quickly―absolutely no awareness for someone's boundaries.

As much as you hoped he’d leave you alone after that painfully tiring night out, he didn’t. Yo sat down in the seat beside you the next class you two had together.

A cheeky, “This seat taken?” Of course it wasn’t―you always got to class early so there was never anyone occupying the surrounding area for a while. Which meant he had time to chat your ear off until the prof showed up.

“Don’t think I got your number last Friday.” You knew he was looking at you with that shit eating grin. There was no way you’d give him the time of day to look though.

“You didn’t.” You pretended to read a page in your textbook in an attempt to silently convey how much you’d rather not to speak to him.

“That’s right, I didn’t.” He paused, presumably waiting for something else from you. And when you didn’t speak, he did. “I think it only makes sense I did get it though.”

You spared him a side glance, noting his jovial attitude, “And why is that?” Sounding a little snarky wasn’t your intention, but the excessive amount of affection he’d shown deemed it permissible.

He gave a half-hearted chuckle, “We’re in the same class, we hang with the same people. And now,” he put his laptop and water bottle on the table in front of the two of you, “we sit together. Don’t you think it’s only natural that we exchanged numbers?”

He acted so casual, his tone so friendly that it was hard to deny him. And in an act of reflex, you didn’t. “I guess not...but we could just―”

“Here. Make a new contact for yourself.” Yo extended his unlocked phone towards you, and with a reluctant hand you took it. The contacts app was already open, so you started to type in your information.

“Not gonna give me your phone too?” You looked up at the man who was waiting expectedly, eyeing the device that was resting on your textbook before looking back at you.

“Oh, uh...yeah, sorry.” Mildly embarrassed, you handed him your phone as you spoke, not before unlocking it and opening the same app. His fingers brushed yours as he took it from you, and for a moment you wondered if the contact was just as intentional as all the other times he insisted on touching you last Friday.

The two of you sat in silence as you finished filling out the contact form.

He returned your device, you doing the same. You mentally rolled your eyes upon seeing the heart emoticons Yo placed next to his name.

“Now that that’s out of the way, why don’t we start hanging out more? From what I’ve seen you don’t exactly make a point in talking to anyone. You could use the company.”

Was that supposed to sound friendly?

“Ah, I don’t know. I’m pretty busy with school and―”

“Oh, c’mon. I’m sure you can find some free time. If it’s parties you’re not big on we can just study together.”

You looked at him, slightly offended at the interruption but also confused at the offer of studying. He seemed like the kind of guy to just wing it through all his classes. Going out for more drinks certainly wasn’t on your to do list and it was something you presumed he was more inclined to suggest. But studying―that was something you could do. “I guess...if you’re okay with that. I’ve got some free time after this class, it’s alright if you’re too busy though.”

“No, I’m good too. Why don’t you send me your schedule so I know when you’re free.”

It was a harmless suggestion. Convenient even―he wouldn’t have to pester you over when it was a good time to study. But something about that smile of his didn’t sit right. It was more like a grin―suggestive in a way.

It made you uneasy.

You took out your phone, “I’ve got a lot of classes so I’m not sure we’ll be able to see each other very often.” Opening his contact, you attached the image of your schedule to the text and sent it. A second later and his phone buzzed atop the table.

“Perfect. Would you look at that, our schedules are actually pretty similar.” Yo was scanning the timetable, meanwhile you weren’t feeling so pleased hearing that you might have to be around him more than you could handle.

He looked like he was going to say something else, but just as he opened his mouth to speak the professor walked into the room. You hadn’t even realized it, but amidst your conversation with Yo the majority of the students had filed in.

It looked like the instructor was still getting ready for the lecture, booting up the terminal at the front of the room to display a powerpoint.

“You mind if I borrow a pencil? Forgot some stuff in my dorm.” He was back to looking at you with that smile of his. Maybe it really was just a friendly gesture, nothing more.

You were probably overthinking things.

“Yeah, gimme a sec―” Rooting through your pencil case, you managed to locate a spare utensil for the man. Offering it to him with a quiet “Here,” Yo took it from your hand.

“Thanks cutie.”

The professor started up the powerpoint. All attention shifted to the front of the room, meanwhile yours remained on the nonchalant behaviour of the man sitting next to you.

_____

The lecture was over before you knew it. Note taking and trying not to fall asleep were the main battles to be had, aside from trying to distract yourself from Yo.

Was he closer than he was before the professor started speaking?

“Hey, earth to (y/n).”

You looked up at his soft brown eyes, “What? Oh, sorry―zoned out a little.” Awkwardly, you stuffed your notes and laptop into your bag.

Yo laughed a little at your state, “Yeah, I can tell.” He began doing the same before continuing, “So, where did you wanna study. I know of a nice little place in the library on this side of campus. Or maybe if you’re hungry we can go to that new cafe that opened up down the street…”

Right, you promised him you’d study.

Somehow in your muddled thoughts the declaration got lost on you, but naturally such a thing would never happen to Yo. He was much too persistent for that.

The library was secluded. Not a good idea.

“The cafe should be fine. Is there anything in particular you want to go over?” All your belongings were effectively shoved into your bag. You stood up, retrieving the light jacket that was hanging off the back of your chair.

Yo began doing the same, picking up a discarded sweater. “Hmm, I think I just wanna go over the basics. But I’d be more than happy to help you out with anything.” He was pulling on the article of clothing, pushing the chair in with his leg. “I’ve actually got pretty good grades in this class. Think you need a tutor?”

His tone was almost teasing, but you paid no mind. “I think I’m good. Why don’t we just focus on the material from today’s lecture. Not quite sure I retained most of it to be honest.”

“Cool, you can borrow my notes if you missed anything.”

He was already walking in the direction of the door before you could respond, his backpack lazily slung over his shoulder.

You wouldn’t lie to yourself. Studying with someone was better than being alone. It’s just...Yo was very eager. You’d known him for less than a week, and he was already acting like you were lifetime friends. Actually, it felt like it was a little more than that.

But you’d keep it as friends. Besides, you weren’t about to abandon the people you had long-term committed relationships with for fresh meat.

Following him out of the room, you tried to maintain a safe distance between the two of you. Both physically and in conversation―it was safer that way.

_____

It would appear that Yo really was as intelligent as he claimed. You missed more than you thought from the lecture, and the man didn’t hesitate for a second when it came to diligently explaining the content.

Surprisingly, the time you spent with him was enjoyable. Perhaps you judged him too soon. There were no complaints on his end as you went over the material. A back and forth that should be painstakingly tedious was nothing but the sort.

You just studied. Disregarding a few flirtatious comments here and there, he was mostly respectable. And when the time came to go your separate ways, you did so with a hint of reluctance. However, that too was quickly disregardable.

The relaxing atmosphere of your dorm was much preferable.

It wasn’t the last time Yo asked to study with you. Surely enough, when the opportunity presented itself, he had one thing in mind. Always a one sided initiation, he would send you a quick text, asking if you were free.

You were always free, and when it came to something as harmless as studying there wasn’t anything to hold you back from holing up in a cafe with Yo after class.

But that wasn’t enough for him.

Too much distance, you presumed. It wasn’t something you minded―you preferred it that way. But Yo was a man committed to closeness. And he wanted to be close to you.

He came to your dorm room unannounced, passing it off as checking up on you. And if you weren’t doing anything you would be soon, him always insisting that an impromptu study session was in need.

You had no clue how he found your dorm room.

Yo was nice to you. Patient, understanding―a little touchy, but still. He was nice. It made it easy to overlook his less than ideal traits.

The traits that had him slowly integrating himself into your everyday life. Or at least trying to.

He suggested doing something that didn’t involve hovering over textbooks and drowning in the scent of freshly brewed coffee. Going out for dinner, seeing that new movie that just came out, going to a live music performance at the bar.

You denied him at each turn. It wasn’t that you didn’t like Yo. It was just that you had your suspicions about him. The relationship you two held was still newly formed. Maybe a month had gone by at the most, and during that time you were trying to get a better idea of the kind of person he was.

The person he didn’t let everyone see.

There was no way he was so effortlessly kind and helpful. He was a good friend, someone to study with. But there was concern to be held when it came to the prospect of who he really was. If there was a different personality underneath the layers of sweet sentiments and innocence, you needed to be aware of them.

He was a man to be kept at a distance at the moment, for your own sake.

Your other friends didn’t warrant the same treatment. You’d known them since graduating high school for the most part. Maybe a few of them were newer acquaintances, but they still had at least a year under their belt.

Another month went by, and you were still on the same level of friendship. Study buddies, with the occasional bout of small talk here and there.

But he was pushing you. The disconnect was getting to him. The visits to your dorm didn’t stop, and he started suggesting other, less public spots to go over the course content.

He brought up going to the library once again.

“They’ve got these private rooms we can rent so it’s easier to study. Doesn’t that sound better?”

You trusted Yo, but only to an extent. Not the way you trusted your other friends. And he saw that.

Two more months and not much had changed. Exams were rolling around and you needed to focus more than ever. But a little fun couldn’t hurt.

A few times here and there you were once again dragged out to social events. Parties, bar hopping―shameless behaviour.

Except it wasn’t―not to Yo.

He tagged along, like he would with any other excursion you went on. Like the first night you went out with him he was as clingy as ever. And just like before you kept pushing him off. Maybe not as much, but enough for there to be a difference. A difference between the way you treated him and the way you let all your other friends get close to you. That’s what was shameless―his complete disregard for your boundaries.

After one night of repeated resistance he got worse. The insisting attitude was amplified. He sat closer to you, and you did your best to subtly inch away. Sometimes you let him have his fun, but mostly you wanted to maintain that space that kept you safe. If he did turn out to be someone that wasn’t the man you’d been studying with for almost four months, you needed to have a way out. Being in public with him did the trick.

The two of you were burning the midnight oil―luckily the cafe on campus was open until the current ungodly hours of the night. Yo was as helpful as ever, going over the seemingly endless notes and lecture powerpoints as many times as you needed. You tried to help him, but he was too smart for his own good, or at least that’s how he acted.

And yet, his normal beaming personality―always a little too kind to feel genuine―just seemed a little...off.

You couldn't quite place where the feeling came from.

“Ahh, well I don’t know about you but I’m ready to pack it in,” he sighed with a stretch. The two of you were huddled around a small table, nearly completely covered in papers, textbooks, wayward sticky notes―you name it.

It was late, neither of you were really tired, but the idea of going over the same thing you’d been reading for the past three hours wasn’t appealing.

You agreed, “Yeah, I’m good with that. Thanks for helping me tonight, probably would’ve procrastinated otherwise.” It was the truth, you were a glutton for punishment, and avoiding the necessary was something you were prone to do.

“No problem, cutie. You know I don’t mind. I get a lot out of it too after all.”

You shook your head, lightly laughing at his claim. “Like you need it, your marks are practically perfect.”

Both of you were lazily moving your things into your respective bags while he responded. “It’s not just the studying, I get to spend time with you.”

You glanced up at him with an inquisitive look before disregarding the notion. “Yeah, okay. Well lemme know if you wanna cram a bit more before the exam. You know by now I’ve got nothing better to do.” Slinging your bag over your shoulder, you grabbed the empty mug and placed it with the other dirty cups at the counter.

Yo did the same, “Actually, would you mind stopping by my dorm really quick. For once there’s actually something I don’t get about the lessons. Maybe you could help?”

He was giving you the innocent smile, waiting for a response. “You mean like...right now?”

He nodded, “Yeah, it’ll only take a sec. Left the notes there by accident.”

It seemed harmless enough, and if it would be brief then surely you could spare the time to assist him.

You followed Yo out of the cafe, letting him lead you to the residence building he was staying in on campus. It wasn’t a long walk, and you were thankful given that you wanted to spend as little time as possible completing this final task of the night.

The journey up the elevator and to his room was done in silence, you taking in the familiar surroundings as your own dorm building was made to look almost identical. Eventually you arrived at his door, him unlocking it and letting you enter first.

He had one of the single room dorms, fit with a separate washroom and kitchen area.

“It’s just in my bedroom.” He moved past another door, and you remained trailing his path. “I’ve got it here somewhere...Here it is!”

He held out some papers being kept together by a staple in the corner. You took it, venturing further into the room as you scanned the documents.

“Ah, Yo...isn’t this stuff we’ve already gone over?”

You heard the door to his bedroom shut behind you, prompting you to turn in his direction. Yo still had his hand on the doorknob, a pensive look mixed with almost a brief moment of conflict. But that quickly faded.

“Y’know, I’ve been trying to figure out how I was gonna go about this for a while. I just...I can’t wait any longer. And honestly, I’m surprised you even came up here.” He laughed off the notion, eyes coming to rest on your form.

You put the papers down on the windowsill. “What are you talking about?”

He was looking at you with almost apathetic eyes, contrasting the slight smile that was just a little too off. “What, you think I haven’t noticed the way you’ve been treating me?”

“I’m not sure I’m following, Yo...”

“You keep pushing me away. Time and time again…” He took a step forward, “You don’t do that with anyone else. Why is that?”

He was blocking the only exit to the room. You eyed the door, a pang of anxiety washing over you. “I don’t know what you’re talking about...Can we just go over the work―”

“Shut up. You know what I’m talking about.” He spoke slowly, drawing closer to you as he continued, “Your little friends don’t get the same treatment. You don’t mind getting close with them, do you?”

He was backing you further into the room, each stride he took forward being responded with a step behind from you. “What makes them so special, huh?”

Another step.

“They have something I don’t?”

Another step.

“I bet they’ve got you wrapped around their finger.”

Another step. His methodical and drawn out rant didn’t cease.

“And they’re probably fucking telling you to stay away from me, aren’t they?”

You hit the desk behind you, leaning back to put a desperate few more centimeters between the two of you. It left you at a loss for words, seeing this completely new side of him. Something threatening.

Yo was barely even a foot away, voice dangerously low. “Oh, sweetheart.” In an unexpected movement, he cupped your face with both hands, staring directly into your pleading eyes. “You don’t have to listen to them anymore.”

A little too gently in contrast to his demanding attitude, Yo pressed his lips against yours. You grabbed his forearms, attempting to pry him off. He only responded by deepening the kiss, pressing you further into the desk behind you. Unable to comprehend his actions, you stood there frozen.

He didn’t stop, one of his hands weaving its way into your hair, a leg pushing itself in between yours. Seemingly unsatisfied with your lack of reciprocation, he gave your locks a harsh tug. The brief pain made you gasp, and he took the opportunity to push his tongue past your parted lips. If you knew any better you might’ve just bit down on the offending intrusion, but something told you it would only bring bad news.

Yo held you against him until you were frantically pushing against his chest. The lack of oxygen must’ve been mutual, as soon he pulled away.

But he wasn’t quite done yet.

Moving past your lips, Yo began leaving a trail of light kisses―along your jawline, descending to the soft, supple flesh of your neck. The hand that once remained cupping your face had moved, opting to wrap around your waist to prevent you from squirming out of his grasp.

“Y-Yo, I don’t think―”

He bit down harshly on the junction between your neck and your collarbone, stopping your train of thought and earning a small yelp. A little gentler, he sucked on the spot before detaching from it, moving to place new marks on a few other areas.

The whole time you were at odds with yourself.

This was wrong. He was just a friend. It’s all you wanted him to be.

And yet, the nagging voice in the back of your head grew more and more distant with each passing second.

Yo paused his ministrations, “You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to do this. You’re such a fucking tease, you know.”

In a swift movement he gripped your hips and lifted you into his arms, forcing you to wrap your legs around him for support.

“What are you doing? I think we should just―”

“Just what? It’s your fault I’m like this.” He was moving towards his bed, and upon reaching it laid you down at the foot of it. Not wasting a moment, he climbed over your form, nestling himself in between your legs. He leaned down to capture your lips with his once again. One hand next to your head was used to steady himself while the other moved to undo the buttons of your blouse.

Finally catching on to his actions, your own hands flew to the one fumbling with your top. You managed to break the kiss, a little breathless as you spoke, “Stop it Yo, please.”

He took both of your hands, using only one of his to pin them above you. Without the obstacle he resumed his attack on the other side of your neck, ignoring your pleading, now preferring to simply rip at the shirt. You heard a few buttons hit the ground as they flew from the fabric.

Sitting up slightly, Yo fixed his gaze on your now exposed chest. “So...fucking beautiful.” It came out in a breathy sigh, like the sight eased every tension in his body all at once.

He was getting impatient. His head dipped back down to your exposed chest, alternating between gently nipping at the skin and latching onto one spot for a few moments before moving on. His now free hand trailed down the side of your waist, inching lower and lower down your body.

It was a pitiful attempt―trying to pull your hands out of his grasp. Yo was much stronger than you once perceived, another thing to prove just how much you didn’t know about him. Your quiet pleas fell upon deaf ears, him paying no mind to your protests in favour of reaching some self satisfying goal.

The wandering hand slipped beneath the hem of your skirt, and you could feel his fingers brush against the seat of your panties. He momentarily pressed his fingers into the plush and covered skin. That didn’t seem to be enough for him though, as in a swift motion he pushed the fabric aside, a digit slipping between your folds. He massaged teasingly small circles repeatedly, making you unconsciously buck your hips in hopes of gaining more friction. After a few moments his fingers delved lower, gathering some of your slick in between them.

Yo smiled dangerously against your skin at the realization, “You’re fucking enjoying this, aren’t you?” His hot breath fanned against you as he chuckled. “Good, it’ll be easier for the both of us if you stopped acting like you didn’t want me.”

You whimpered at his crude words, turning your head to the side in shame. He was right, the heat you felt pooling from his actions wasn’t intended, at least not from you, but it was there nonetheless.

“C’mon, don’t get all shy now.” Without warning he pushed a single finger into your burning core, earning a shocked gasp from you. His thumb remained circling your clit as he pumped agonizingly slowly in and out of you. He added another digit soon after, the slight stretch making your face scrunch up in a small wince.

Assuming he’d gotten bored with leaving marks all over your chest, Yo moved up again to press his lips back into yours.

His fingers curled expertly inside you, reaching that soft, spongy area that sent your mind reeling. You were slowly falling apart around him. And in a moment when you were trying to come back to your senses, Yo activated his quirk, sending ripples of low vibrations through your core.

You jolted from the unexpected sensation before you felt your body reacting sickeningly quick to its effects. He didn’t cease his attack for a second, muffling the moans you tried desperately to hold back while greedily working his mouth against yours. Leaving no area unexplored, you could only let him consume you further as your body succumbed to his ministrations.

Yo’s actions grew more intense, his fingers moving faster in an almost brutal pace while he let his quirk grow in intensity every time he hit that sensitive spot, targeting it with each thrust. You felt the coil in your lower abdomen start to tighten as he slowly worked you towards release.

He broke the kiss, leaving you panting in his wake. “Fuck, I can feel you getting close.” Yo accentuated his claim with a few harsh pumps, somehow going deeper than before. You arched your back at the sensation, earning a pleased look to creep across his face.

“P-please, Yo. I w-wanna―”

“What? You wanna cum, is that it?” He lowered his head back to your neck, pressing light kisses into it before ghosting his lips against the shell of your ear. “I don’t know if I should let you. Been such a bitch to me these past few months, you think you deserve it?”

As if to prove his point, Yo halted his movements, retracting the effects of his quirk. You squirmed beneath him, whimpering at the loss of stimulation.

“I should make you beg for it. How does that sound?” Tantalizingly slowly, he began lazily pushing his fingers back into your heat, dragging them against your sensitive walls while removing them just as steadily. He repeated the action, smirking down at the sight of you writhing against his touch―or the lack of it.

“Yeah, I think that’s what you deserve. Go on, beg for―”

Before he could finish his demand, a few loud knocks could be heard at the door of his dorm room.

“Yo! You in there buddy!?” The voice of a man you didn’t recognize bellowed out from the other side of the door. Your body froze at the sound.

The last thing you wanted was someone finding you in this position. The thought made your blood run cold, and you looked up at Yo to see if he was having the same idea.

From the look on his face, he definitely wasn’t.

Yo ripped the hand away that was pinning your wrists down to the bed, instead clamping it firmly across your mouth. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, grasping at his grip on your face.

“Yeah, what’s up man!”

As soon as he spoke an intense bout of vibrations crashed through your core. He returned to thrusting in and out of your sopping heat, not relenting even as you thrashed against his hold.

It was too much―his quirk now more powerful than ever. He continued to rub tight circles into your clit with almost the same level of vibrations, maybe a little less intense than the ones he was sending through you with his other fingers.

The man outside his dorm spoke again. “I was just wondering if you had the notes from last class. Me and a few guys need them right now.”

Yo spoke without breaking eye contact with you, relishing in the way you tried to control the little noises as a result of his relentless movements. The glint in his eyes that you once saw was gone, now replaced with an empty darkness.

This was the Yo who was being kept from the public. The person you did your best to avoid for so long.

“I do actually, I’m in the middle of something―why don’t I stop by your place in a few minutes?”

You tried to close your legs, or somehow move away as you were pushed towards release faster with every passing second. Yo only pressed your head back into the mattress with more force, acting more as a warning than a way to keep you in place.

“Okay, sounds good man. Hey―are you with someone right now?”

His methods were wreaking havoc on your body. The fear of being caught and the intensity of his actions sent you over the edge. As if sensing you were done for, Yo let out a final wave of forceful vibrations, sending you crashing hard into an orgasm. Your eyes shut tightly as you rode out the blinding sensation, body seizing up completely.

You didn’t know how long it lasted for, but by the time you finally came down from your high it seemed the investigative man on the other side of the door was gone.

Yo removed his fingers, holding them up to his face in awe. Through your tear stained vision you could catch the glistening of your slick, stringing as he pulled his fingers apart. You watched in disgust as he continued to lap at the substance, sucking his own digits clean with a sinfully low moan resonating from his throat in the process.

Focusing anywhere but at him was a better option, but he wouldn’t have that. As you tried to turn your head again with eyes trying to distract themselves on something that wasn’t the man towering above you, the hand over your mouth moved to clamp around your jaw.

“Fucking look at me.” Yo turned your head back harshly at the demand, and your eyes met his. The threatening tone in his voice was one you’d never heard before.

“I’m gonna go give my buddy what he needs, and you’re gonna stay here until I’m done.”

He waited a few seconds, gauging your initial reaction. Finally, Yo released his hold, climbing off the bed and letting you curl into yourself in defence.

“If you’re gone when I get back, I’ll tell everyone just how much of a little slut you are. And we both know they’ll believe me, I’m way more likeable than you’ll ever be, princess.”

A pitiful sob wracked your body, soon turning into steady convulsions from crying. “I-I’m not...m’not a s-slut.”

He grabbed a notebook that was sitting on his bookshelf before walking to the side of the bed where you were trying to move towards in an attempt to leave. He crouched down next you you, petting down the hair on your head in an almost loving manner, “Oh I know that, but your friends don’t. They might let you tag along with them but I know they don’t really like you. Not how they like me.”

At his point you were sobbing into your hands, trying to rub away at the hot tears streaming down your face. “D-don’t―please don’t tell them that.”

Yo swiped a thumb across your cheek, doing little to rid them of your tears. “I won’t, you just be a good girl and nothing bad will happen, okay?” He gave your face a few reassuring pats before retracting his hand.

You were a mess―clothes disheveled and hair turned unruly.

He was bluffing. He had to have been.

“Don’t move, I’ll be back as soon as possible!” Yo was exiting the room, giving your crumpled form a final once over before leaving, notes in tow without letting you get out another word of protest. The door shut with a thud, and you could hear the signature click of a lock falling into place.

You could leave. You should leave.

And you wanted to, but his words kept repeating in your head. If he wasn’t bluffing then you weren’t too sure if your friends would take your side. It wasn’t just your friends either. Your family would find out, your school even.

Yo was a well liked man. A trusted man. You trusted him.

He was so good at what he did. Hiding his true intentions under that far too positive and easy going attitude. It made it easy to disregard him, and look at what happened when you did.

You denied him the satisfaction of such a closeness for so long, not even knowing what it was doing to him. Realistically, it shouldn’t have done anything. Any sane person would’ve taken the hint long ago to leave well enough alone.

But the absence of light in his eyes, the condescending attitude―all of it was evidence to show that he was everything but sane.

He’d be back soon.

And you stayed where you were.

[raichijin]

 ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ ukiyo; the floating world.  chapter 2. 

━━━━━ 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐁 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓.

preface; took me exactly a week to write. possibly the most uneventful, but important in setting up the rest of the story. enjoy ! (also, my first writing post on this account ! awesome.)

word count; 1.6k .

pretty. a pretty boy; with eyes the color of almonds and hair the same shade of rich oaky brown as a morning cup of coffee.

his smile is sweet like creamer, & the way his eyes crinkle at the corners when he closes them is cute, too.

a new relationship, perhaps?

you’re so in awe that when you notice his face fall and he’s pulling his hand away, you realize it’s been 15 seconds and you’ve been standing for approximately 30, just staring.

wow, that’s awkward.

“... are you okay?” he asks you again, slower this time.

“i — yeah! totally. i just— i guess i’m just lost?” you look around for anything that could trigger a memory, or even something that looks remotely familiar.

 there’s nothing. “yeah, that must be it...ʲᵘˢᵗ ˡᵒˢᵗ.” he tilts his head at you, then smiles a little thinner, with only his lips and no teeth before gesturing towards the classroom door, other hand digging into his pants pocket.

“then i can show you around!” he hastily offers, giving you his arm before you even know his name, and the scary possibility that the ‘you’ in this world might’ve had a more notable presence starts sounding like a reality when your name falls effortlessly from his bubblegum pink lips, a cutesy ‘chan’ accompanying it.

“ah, you know me?” 

& while his nose crinkles in a way that’s not cute nor pretty, his smile remains steadfast until he turns away. “well, who doesn’t? our school doesn’t get exchange students too often. especially not ones as handsome as yourself~.” there’s that lilt again. as if he’s trying to make you fall in love with his voice alone, and you might’ve (you are).

“oh! uh, thank you, but-” you both step into the hallway, and the image of a highschool is imprinting itself in your brain. the uniform, the students, teachers, each class room and their individual signs, the kanji that somehow makes sense, and the sudden realization that everything around you is being spoken in spitfire japanese.

you’re speaking it, too.

“i don’t think i know you. what’s your name?”

the cute guy blanches, and suddenly everything seems more interesting to him.

his fingernails, a sudden itch on his nose, and random (read: fawning) passerby.

“um — i’m oikawa! the captain of the volleyball team?” oikawa phrases it like a question, as if you know him; and if he was expecting that flexing that kind of achievement would give him some kind of leeway, he couldn’t be more mistaken.

but for politeness sake, you can pretend to be interested, especially if it means he’d divulge more information about the school.

‘seijoh’ was the name, right? you could probably search it up later. you pat your pockets for the outline of a cell phone, and then realize it might still be in your bag — 

fuck, you still haven’t responded. you need to get better with your reaction time.

“oh! that’s cool.” said in a way that does a decent enough job of feigning interest, because his lips quirk back up. “class ended, right? are you gonna go to practice right now?”

“well...” he pretends to ponder the question. “that’s the plan! we should get going, before iwa-chan gets mad at me.”

iwa-chan? 

we?

“i — i mean, i would, but i don’t wanna be a bother —” but he’s already taking your hand and pulling you down the hall and out a door, quickly explaining some things you see that catch your eye along the way. before you know it, he’s guiding you towards a different building entirely, where the entrance is crowded by … students? some boys, some girls, some not even wearing the school’s uniform.

and they’re definitely not in any volleyball uniforms, or in anything in relation to sports. so what could they possibly be here for?

a high pitched squeal very quickly answers your question.

“look! he’s here!” the gaggle of students nearly trample you with how fast they surround oikawa, too busy ogling the captain to pay you much mind. you would’ve gotten swept away in the commotion if not for oikawa’s tightened grip around your wrist.

he tries (and fails) to calm down the small crowd huddled around him, but it makes enough noise that it starts to attract the attention from the players inside the gym. some look jealous, unsurprised, and one, standing out amongst the rest. with his lips pulled back into a sneer, sweat dripping down the side of his face, and —

“SHITTYKAWA!” the noise outside quiets down to a few whispers and just as quickly the crowd came in, they clear out, as the nameless begins to approach.

he carries himself high and fast and even if he comes up to a little under oikawa height wise, whoever he is, he clearly has mr. volleyball captain at least bashful.

… didn’t he mention someone who’d get pissy if he was late to practice?

“is that —” 

“iwa-chaaaaaan!” oikawa waves his hands absently as a means to placate his friend's temper, and he lets go of you in the process, providing you an ample opportunity to slip back into school, but your feet feel stuck to the floor and you can’t bring yourself to look away from the scene unfolding. this iwa-chan talks to oikawa like he’s his mother. stern with sharp features and a look that could actually kill.

oikawa really fucked up, huh? well, he might’ve not even gotten told if you didn’t pop out of the damn closet though. but it’s too late to apologize, because oikawa’s pointing at you, says something about you being the reason he got held up, and iwa-chan is directing that hard stare at you.

you could melt. if oikawa was pretty, then iwa-chan was handsome. a new love interest perhaps? he seemed hot enough to be one. where oikawa’s smile felt accommodating, iwa-chan’s sneer morphing into an expression of indifference and then slight charm feels more real, and is, in turn, more endearing.

“and you’re the new student? you’re the reason why he’s late?” you nod sharply, and explain how you fell out of the closet… and how oikawa helped you up. he flicks oikawa’s forehead just then, and you laugh, worsened by the kicked puppy expression scribbled all over the captain’s face.

“you’re laughing at this? iwa-chan! cut it out — you’re already rubbing off on them!”

“trashykawa! what the hell were you trying to do with the transfer?” he tugs on his ear like a disappointed parent, but shoots you an apologetic smile.

“i’m sorry you had to deal with him.” oh, you beautiful human, you do not have to be sorry for anything — “i can take him from here — just tell me if this dumbass bothers you again.”

“i wasn’t bothering them i —” iwa-chan glares daggers into him and he concedes, letting himself get dragged into the gym building, his teammates laughing at him, and leaving you behind. they all trail inside before the gym doors close, and suddenly, this area feels pointless.

was this the end of the day? 

you go back into the school, backpack slung anxiously over your shoulder. how were you supposed to find the bedroom to save your game if you didn’t even know where your house was? did you miss a cutscene? did you do something wrong?

a distinct buzzing from your backpack halts your train of thought.

you dig through your pack to find your phone, a rectangular brick with a few stickers on it, opening to your fingerprint and showing you text message notifications from one ushiwaka-san.

the third named character you’ve met in a day. 

ushiwaka-san: have you reached home yet?

huh. is he your parent? guardian? you don’t know any kid who’d put their fathers name so informally.

you: uh, not quite, no 

you: how do i get back? i kind of like

you: forgot

you: my bad dad

ushiwaka-san is … typing !

ushiwaka-san: dad?

ushiwaka-san: what do you mean?

ushiwaka-san is … typing !

ushiwaka-san: whatever.

ushiwaka-san: give me a moment.

you cringe at how badly you misread that, but he eventually sends you the address and instructions on how to get to, where you hope is, home, and with a few pointers from some straggler students, you’re off.

the sun is kissing the hills by the time you’ve reached your destination. your legs are burning from the walk, and you feel like you could collapse on the doorstep if you didn’t know your bed was behind it, decidedly more comfortable than the concrete. 

you find some keys in the side pocket of your bag and unlock the door to the house. it looks pretty enough on the inside, but you’re too tired to appreciate the graphics. you just want to save the game and be done with this.

forty dollars for a walking simulator? no wonder your friend didn’t like it. you have to duck into a few rooms before one reminds you of the one they showed you when the game booted up originally. you flop on the bed before you get the sudden urge to look at your phone again.

a notes app has popped up.

you can write your discoveries after a scenario here. useful for remembering important things, like dates, likes and dislikes, etc.

you can access this when not in a scene, occasionally in-between or during class, or when you’re in your room for the night.

it feels like someones projecting their thoughts into your brain, and it kind of hurts, but you keep it in mind for the next time. you can’t even bother to get out of your uniform before it’s like your eyes are shutting themselves, no matter how much you try to force them back open.

the day is ending, and it’s time to save your progress.

you black out.

the void cradles you. a feeling akin to falling asleep yet wide awake, you settle here until the confirmation of a saved game rings vaguely through your head.

then, just as suddenly,

you’re up.

passing the baton to you kat! @letshaikyuu.

𝔱 𝔞 𝔤 𝔩 𝔦 𝔰 𝔱 ;  @kingkageyamathegreat, @sayakaaaaaa, @tobubekida-yo @chigigami, @sugacookiies, @macaronnv, @cadekagi

[chipotle]

Panic's Nova text editor (a review)

Review: Panic’s Nova text editor

Panic, the long-established makers of Mac utility software, seems fully aware that introducing a new, commercial code editor in 2020 is a quixotic proposition. Is there enough of an advantage to a native editor over both old school cross-platform editors like Emacs and explosively popular new editors like Visual Studio Code to persuade people to switch?

I’m an unusual case as far as text editor users go: my primary job is technical writing, and the last three jobs that I’ve worked at have a “docs as code” approach, where we write documentation in Markdown and manage it under version control just like source code. The editor that works best for me in tech writing is the venerable BBEdit. When it comes to editing code, though, BBEdit lags behind. My suspicion is that BBEdit’s lack of an integrated package manager has hurt it here. Also, BBEdit’s language modules don’t support extending one another, making it effectively impossible to do full highlighting for a templating language like JSX or Jinja.

When I was a web programmer, I was one of many who moved to TextMate, and used it for everything for a while. When the Godot-like wait for TextMate 2.0 became unbearable, I wandered the text editing wilderness, eventually splitting my loyalties between BBEdit, Sublime Text, and more recently VS Code. At this point, I suspect nothing will pull me away from BBEdit for technical writing, but for programming I’m open to persuasion.

So: meet Nova.

I’ve been using Nova off and on in beta for months. I’ve reported some bugs, although I may mention a couple here that I didn’t catch until after 1.0’s release. And, I’m going to compare it to the GUI editors that I’ve been using recently: BBEdit, Sublime Text, and VS Code.

Nova is a pretty editor, as far as such things go, and with files of relatively reasonable size it’s fast. With stupid huge files its performance drops noticeably, though. This isn’t just the ridiculous 109MB, nearly 450,000-line SQL file I threw at it once, it’s also with a merely 2MB, 50,000-line SQL file, and Nova’s offer to turn off syntax highlighting in both files didn’t help it much. This may sound like a silly test, but in my day job I’m occasionally stuck editing an 80,000-line JSON file by hand (don’t ask). This is something BBEdit and VS Code can do without complaint. Panic wrote their own text editing engine for Nova, which is brave, but it needs more tuning for pathological cases like these. They may not come up often, but almost every programmer has one stupid huge file to deal with.

Nova has an integrated terminal and an integrated SSH client, and even an integrated file transfer system based on Panic’s Transmit. In fact, if you have Transmit and use Panic Sync, it knows all of those servers out of the box. Nova has a task workflow system for automating building and running. You can associated servers, tasks, and more with individual projects; Nova’s project settings are considerably more comprehensive than I’ve seen in other editors. You can even set up remote tasks. Nova has a serviceable Git client built in, too. Like VS Code, Nova uses JavaScript for its extension API, and it has built-in Language Server Protocol support—it’s a superbly solid foundation.

Beyond that, some smaller features have become table stakes for modern GUI editors, and Nova handles them with aplomb. “Open Quickly” can jump to any file in the open project, as well as search by symbols or just symbols in currently open files; it has a command palette; you can comprehensively edit keybindings. It has multiple cursor support for those of us who like that, and a “mini map” view for those of you who like that, although know that you are wrong. Nova’s selection features include “Select all in scope” and “Select all between brackets,” a command I often use in BBEdit and miss dearly in Code. (Both Nova and BBEdit select between brackets and braces, although BBEdit also selects between parentheses.) This effectively becomes “Select between tags” in HTML, a nice touch. There are a few other commands like “Select all in function” and “Select all in scope” that I didn’t have any luck in making work at all; a little more documentation would be nice.

That’s worth an aside. Panic has created a “library” of tech note-style articles about Nova sorted by publication date rather than an actual manual, and it’s not always easy to find the information you want in it. I know this is just what a technical writer would say, but I’d dearly like to see a human-organized table of contents starting with the editor basics and moving to advanced topics like version control, server publishing and extension authoring.

The Zen of Language Servers

A lot of Visual Studio Code’s smarts depend on the implementation of a “language server” behind the scenes: language servers offer almost spookily intelligent completion. For instance, take this PHP snippet:

if ($allowed) { $response = new Response(405); $response->

If you have the Intelephense PHP language server plugin, Code understands that $response is an instance of Response and, after you type the > above, offers completions of method names from the Response class.

Right now, Nova’s mostly limited to the language servers Panic provides, and they’re… not always so smart. In that snippet above, Nova starts by offering completions of, apparently, everything in the open project, starting with the variables. If I type “s,” it narrows things down to methods that begin with “s,” but it’s all methods that start with “s” rather than just the methods from Response. The “Jump to Definition” command shows a similar lack of context; if I highlight a method name that’s defined in multiple places, Nova shows me a popup menu and prompts me to choose which one to jump to, rather than introspecting the code to make that decision itself.

But, this is a solvable problem: there’s (I think) no reason someone couldn’t write an Inteliphense plugin for Nova. If Nova’s ecosystem takes off, it could be pretty formidable pretty quickly.

Walk like a Mac

Even so, LSP support isn’t Panic’s biggest selling point. Unlike Sublime Text or VS Code, Nova isn’t cross-platform: it’s a Mac-only program written to core platform APIs. Is that still a huge draw in 2020? (Is it instead a drawback?)

You can definitely see a difference between Nova and BBEdit on one side and Sublime and Code on the other in terms of resource usage. With the two Ruby files shown in the screenshot above loaded, I get:

VS Code: 355 MB, 6 processes

Sublime Text: 338 MB, 2 processes

Nova: 101 MB, 2 processes

BBEdit: 97 MB, 1 process

Code is an Electron-based program, although Microsoft famously puts a lot of effort into making it not feel like the black hole a lot of Electron-based apps are. Sublime uses its own proprietary cross-platform framework. In fairness, while us nerds like to harp on research usage a lot, if your computer’s got 16G or more of RAM in it, this probably isn’t a big deal.

You notice Nova’s essential Mac-ness in other ways. Its preference pane is, like BBEdit’s, an actual preference pane, instead of opening in another tab like Code or just opening a JSON file in a new tab (!) like Sublime. And while all editors better have first-class keyboard support—and Nova does—a good Mac editor should have first-class mouse support, too, and it does. You notice that in the drag-and-drop support for creating new tabs and splits. Nova’s sidebar is also highly customizable, possibly more so than any editor I’ve regularly used. (Yes, Emacs fans, I know you can write all of Nova in Lisp if you want. When one of you does that, please get back to me.)

Unlike BBEdit, though, Nova doesn’t have a Mac-like title bar, or a Mac-like outline view of the project files, or Mac-like tabs. (Well, BBEdit doesn’t have tabs at all, which turns out to be a great UI decision once you have a dozen or more files open, but never mind.) This isn’t necessarily bad; people often say BBEdit “looks old,” and it’s hard not to suspect that what people mean by that—whether or not they know it—is that it looks like the long-established Mac program it is. Nova is relying less on “we have a Mac UI and the other guys don’t” than on “we have Panic’s designers and the other guys don’t.” Make no mistake, having Panic’s designers counts for a lot.

What may be more disappointing to old school Mac nerds is AppleScript support: none whatsoever. It doesn’t even have a vestigial script dictionary. Again, this may not be something most people care much about; personally, I hate having to write AppleScript. But I love being able to write AppleScript. BBEdit’s extensive scriptability is one of its hidden strengths. Nova’s Node-based JavaScript engine is probably more powerful for its own extensions and certainly more accessible to anyone under the age of 50, but it may be hard to call it from external programs.

So is it worth it?

That probably depends on where you’re coming from.

If you loved—or still use—Panic’s older editor, Coda, this is a no-brainer upgrade. If you used Espresso, a Coda-ish editor that always seemed to be on the verge of greatness without ever reaching it, Nova may also be a no-brainer for you.

If you’re a fan of Sublime Text, BBEdit, TextMate, or another editor that doesn’t have native Language Server Protocol support, you should definitely try Nova. Sublime and TextMate have more plugins (especially Sublime), but many extensions seem to be languishing (especially TextMate). BBEdit never had a great extension ecosystem to start with. All of these editors have strengths Nova doesn’t, but the reverse is also true, and Nova may catch up.

If you’re an Emacs or Vim power user, we both know you’re just reading this out of academic interest and you’re not going to switch. C’mon.

If you use Visual Studio Code, though, it’s way tougher to make the case for Nova. Code has a vastly larger extension library. It has the best support for LSP of any editor out there (LSP was developed for Code). Despite being Electron-based, it’s pretty high-performance. Code doesn’t have an integrated SSH or FTP client, but it does have an integrated terminal and task runner and Git client. If you don’t object to using an editor that isn’t a “perfect fit” with the Mac UI, Code is very, very good… and it’s free.

I don’t object to Nova’s pricing model—$99 up front including a year of updates, $49 for future years of updates—but I can’t help but wonder if Panic should have gone with super aggressive introductory pricing. Also, I saw more than a few suggestions on Hacker News about how there should be a Code-to-Nova extension translator; I’m not sure automatic conversion would be practical, but a guide on manual conversion seems like an excellent idea.

For my day job of technical writing, I’m going to stick to BBEdit. (One day I’ll write up an article about why I think it’s the best “documentation as code” editor on the market.) For programming and web editing, when I was working on both a Ruby and a PHP project—the former a Rails learning exercise, the latter an obstinate “I am going to write a modern PHP app without using a framework” exercise—I kept trying Nova’s betas and then switching back to Code for Inteliphense and, I swear to God, MacVim for Tim Pope’s amazing rails.vim plugin. I suspect Nova could duplicate both of those, but I’m not sure I want to be the one to do it. (Also, while Panic has decent reference documentation for writing extensions, I’d like to see a few simple end-to-end walkthroughs for those of us who look at a huge list of reference topics and don’t know where to start.)

But Nova isn’t just pretty, it’s powerful, and has a lot of promise. The editors I’ve been comparing it to have been around since 2015 for VS Code, 2008 for Sublime Text, and 1992 (!) for BBEdit; it’s not reasonable to expect Nova to blow past them in every respect right out of the starting gate. Even so, they are Nova’s competition. Catching up fast is an essential requirement.

So: yes, I’ve bought Nova, and I’m rooting for Panic here. I’ll come back in a year and report if I’m willing to stay on the update train.

[purplesurveys]

568

Have you ever had a really bad haircut? I haven’t had any truly awful ones. The only time I felt ‘meh’ about a haircut was when I went to the salon on my own and told the hairdresser what I wanted myself. I was never good at that kind of stuff, and always prefer being with someone so they can tell me if I’m headed somewhere good or otherwise. Did you ever order any clothes from the Alloy catalogue? I’ve never heard of that. What brand, color, and type is your favorite eyeliner? I’ve only ever used eyeliner at one point in my life and I’ve forgotten every detail about it. It was black, though. Do you wear eyeliner? I used to. I wanted to look nice post-breakup, so I learned how to do makeup to feel good about myself. Was there ever a time in your life when you couldn't cry? I guess when I have HAD to cry in the past, as in for a skit, I couldn’t. But I can be triggered and cry very easily otherwise.

What's your favorite type of yogurt? I hate yogurt, I hate everything that’s sour (except for sour tapes, but even those I can only handle at a certain level of sourness haha). What posters did you have on your wall as a teenager? Wrestling. My mom took them down for no reason eventually, even though I loved having them up on my wall. What are your favorite type of calendars? I mean I don’t obsess over calendars enough to have a favorite type? so a digital one on my phone and laptop is fine with me. I do sometimes wish I was rich enough just to be able to spend on those novelty calendars with Audrey Hepburn photos and Monet paintings in every month, though. Do you have a full-length mirror? I used to but it got transferred to my sister’s room. I don’t mind it though; I don’t use mirrors all that much. When was the last time you bought stamps? Elementary school, probably. Do you have any overdue library books right now? HAH, yes I do actually. It was a book I needed to do a Powerpoint on, and I completely forgot that its due date was on the 4th. The fee is like ₱2/day so I’ll have to pay around ₱8 to ₱10 by next week, depending on when I’ll feel like returning the book. How often do you do laundry? I don’t; my mom prefers to do it herself. Do you have a piggy bank? Maybe as a kid, but I never took it seriously because I didn’t sit well with the fact that I couldn’t see the money I’ve been saving. I’ve stuck with a good old wallet ever since, just so I can know my progress. Do you remember your locker combinations from high school? I don’t, actually. I wonder what numbers I used to secure my locks :o What's your favorite DIY crafts youtube channel? Aren’t a lot of those misleading and downright fake? Could you spend hours on pinterest? I’ve never spent more than five minutes at one time on that website/app. Do you own plaid pants? Nah, it’s not really my style. Have you ever had to wear a school uniform? I had to wear my school’s uniform for 14 straight years. All I ever wore Monday through Friday for that span of time. What was your high school's mascot? We don’t have a mascot; we just have school colors. What were your high school's team colors? Gold, white, blue. Who were your best friends in high school? Angela, Gabie, Athenna, and Sofie. Others I was close with were Chelsea, Kaira, and Fern. Who was your first boyfriend or girlfriend? Gab. Have you ever been to Chicago? Nope but it’s a dream. If yes, what do you like best about it? The FOOD, the culture, the museums. Have you ever stayed in a hostel? Nope, never been. Would you rather sleep on the top bunk or bottom bunk? Bottom. I wouldn’t like sleeping somewhere that felt unnatural, and lying down way high from the floor is definitely one of those things. Do you love camping? I’ve never tried, so I don’t know. Would you rather sleep in a tent or under the stars? Lie under the stars for as long as I can, then pass out in a tent. What insects are you afraid of? Cockroaches. Have you ever had a secret admirer that left you notes? I haven’t. Are you close with your cousins? I have a good relationship with most of my cousins, mom’s side; but I’m especially close with my eldest cousin, who I essentially view as my older brother. I’m so-so with cousins on my dad’s side - we were very close as kids, but they moved further to the south and I never really get to see them anymore, so we grew more shy as the years passed.  Are you close to any aunts or uncles? I love my mom’s cousins; they’re all younger than her and they’re mostly late Gen X-ers so they’re more hip and cool hahaha. I wouldn’t say we’re close but they are definitely much easier to talk to than other older relatives. Are you close to your grandparents? I seldom get to see my paternal grandparents because they live with the ^ same cousins I’ve since grown quite distant from, so I wouldn’t say I’m close to them but of course I love them all the same. I was very close with my maternal grandfather when he was still alive as I always knew what to do to make him laugh; and I am also crazy for my maternal grandmother, although in the last few years she’s been all about Jesus so sometimes it gets a little draining hearing about how I should always pray and that “God can answer all [my] problems.” Still love her loads, though. Who betrayed your trust? A friend did, many years ago. Who was your first best friend (apart from a sibling)? Bold of you to assume a sibling was my first best friend, because you’re wrong lol. I’d consider this girl we calle Kaye the first one; we were class number buddies in Kinder 1 (I was 4, she was 5) so we got close quickly. She changed schools by Grade 1 and I haven’t talked to her since, but I still remember her fondly. What was your favorite thing to do at sleepovers when you were younger? I was never allowed at sleepovers when I was a kid. What kind of popcorn is your favorite? Sweet-flavored ones. I could never take dry-ass plain/salted popcorn. It has to be something like salted caramel or parmesan. Does your town have a big fountain in it? If we do have one, I’ve never seen it. But I’m pretty sure we don’t. What is your town known for? For being on a mountain and being ridiculously hard to get to because 1) of its winding, accident-prone roads, and 2) IT’S ON A MOUNTAIN. I live in the area of Antipolo just before you start to go up, so I don’t get offended much by the complaints of everyone else; but I’m in solidarity nonetheless with the ~mountain-dwellers~ just because I used to go to school in upper Antipolo. Do you currently live in the city you grew up in? I mostly grew up in Antipolo, so yes I still live here. I did live in Manila in my early childhood but that time was much shorter than the time I’ve spent in my current city. What's one way in which you're behind the times? I hate Minecraft and I hate Fortnite even more. What's one way in which you're still a child? I love coloring books :) What's one way in which you're old? I have a bad back. Do you feel old or young? Or do you feel both at different times? Definitely feel a bit of both, depending on my mood. The perfect example could be that I can be annoyed seeing younger kids make so much noise, but the next day I can be exactly like those kids making a bunch of noise with my friends. How old are you? I am 21. Do you know what you want to do for your next birthday? No, not yet. Quite early to think about at this point, really. If yes, what is it? A private dinner would already sound perfect. What is the last new thing you discovered that was really good? Vaping. I mean don’t try it if you haven’t already, but yeah. What would be the best surprise you could receive right now? Tbh if my mom came home carrying a box of Yellow Cab pizza. AKA something that would NEVER happen; she snobs Yellow Cab cos she thinks they’re too expensive for pizza. Do you usually forgive when someone hurts your or try to get revenge? I get my revenge, subtly. Were there any subjects in school that were really easy for you? Our subject Language, which was mandatory back in elementary school, was literally basic English grammar. Not everyone in my former school spoke fluent English so a lot of them weren’t all that good at the subject; but for people like me who had a solid grasp of English and read a lot to begin with, the class was basically a breather from the other more difficult classes. If so, what? ^ I already told ya all about it. Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? Skipping grades isn’t a thing in my former school which is honestly a good thing for me cos it would have bred a lot of competition. But students would have to repeat a level if their grades showed that they had to; I wasn’t one of them. What time of day were you born? 9:11 in the evening. What is the best hairstyle you've ever had? I loved my layered hair like 10 years ago. It was probably the only time I did something to my hair that wasn’t just a trim, so I enjoyed that experience. I also liked cutting my hair way, way too short last year; it was a bold move but I liked how it look, as did everyone else. Do you think you look better with dyed hair or natural hair? I’ve never tried dyeing my hair so I wouldn’t know. Do you think your look better with curly hair or straight hair? Curly, I think. Do you have bangs? I have baby bangs but they’re just stubborn hair standing around my head lmao but no I don’t have actual bangs. Do you think you look better with bangs or without? I haven’t tried getting bangs as an adult. I did look cute with them as a toddler though :( Do you think you look better with long hair or short? Long. What's your favorite rock band? Paramore, if they still count. Who's your favorite country singer? None. Do you ever listen to Celtic music? No. Do you listen to Hillsong? No. Did you try the unicorn frappuccino, and if yes, were you a fan? No I never tried it. Have you ever won a contest? I won a school quiz bee and an essay writing contest before, but I wouldn’t call the latter legitimate. It was just a writing contest about wrestling held by a local TV station and the three best entries got to win WWE t-shirts haha. Have you ever wanted to be a model, actress, singer, or dancer? I wanted to be a model when I was like 12. No fucking clue what was going through my head at the time. When you look at your baby pictures, do you recognize yourself? Sure. Has your hair color changed since you were a toddler? Nope. Do you wear matching socks? Yes. How many drawers does your dresser have? Three. Do you own an American flag shirt? No thanks. Do you own a British flag shirt? I don’t. The Union Jack got overused by 2011 Tumblr, honestly. Do you have a seashell collection? I don’t. Aren’t we prohibited from getting those from beaches? That’s the case in the Philippines, anyway. Do you have a rock collection? I do not. Do you decorate for Halloween? We didn’t decorate the house but I celebrated it with friends this year. What is your favorite thing to do in the pool? Float around and relax. Flamingos or pineapples? ??? Flamingos, I guess? Cacti or seashells? Seashells. Maple tree or palm tree? Palm tree. Dreamcatcher or wind chimes? Dreamcatchers! Have you ever taken a picture at the perfect moment? I probably have at few points. Do you have a crush right now? Yes. What color was your first car? My first and current car is white. Was your first car used or new? I’m actually not sure. It was my dad who purchased it. Do you have a car now? Yep. What color(s) eyeshadow do you wear the most? I never wear any.

[hot-mysticc-mess-blog]

Hey! If it is not too much, can I request MC getting robbed at gun point and calling the RFA + minor trio afterwards distraught? Thank you, I really enjoy reading your stuff! You're an excellent writer!! 💕

Thank you so much!! I’m super glad people seem to enjoy my writing. I hope you like this. 

RFA+Minor Trio React to MC calling them distraught after being robbed at gun point

My Masterlist

Yoosung

Yoosung does not answer phone calls from numbers he does not know

When you get to borrow the phone at a nearby convenience store, Yoosung sends it straight to voicemail.

He listens to it immediately after, worrying as soon as he hears how distraught you sound. Is your grandmother sick? Did you lose your house keys? Did you fail a test?

He calls back immediately the moment the words “robbed” fall out of your mouth.

You were getting ready to dial the police when Yoosung called back.

“MC! MC, that’s you right!? You got robbed! Are you okay!? Have you called the police!?”

Has you on speakerphone while frantically typing in the group chat trying to get a hold of the rest of the RFA

He needed an adult.

Yeah sure, he was an adult. But he needed another one. A better adult. An adultier adult.

“MC! I’ll come get you! Or- Or I’ll have Seven, or Jumin come get you since they have cars! Where are you?”

The manager who has taken pity on you is kind enough to get on the line and volunteer the address.

Yoosung puts it in the chatroom ‘EMERGENCY!!!’ ‘MC GOT ROBBED!’ ‘THIS IS WHERE THEY ARE! PLEASE COME GET THEM!’

He is reluctant to get off the phone, but you need to report the incident to the police and he needs to try and call the others to make sure they were on their way.

Jaehee shows up first with several body guards in Jumin’s stead. The rest of the RFA arrive one after the other shortly after the police. The store manager guides everyone back to the staff room so they are out of the way.

Yoosung completely ignores that you are mid-conversation with the police when he comes in. The manager opens the staff room door for him and he glomps you in an airway-crushing hug.

He waits by your side the entire time until the police and the rest of the RFA have all gone home. Jumin loans out Driver Kim to bring you and Yoosung back to your place.

He stays the night to make sure you feel safe, and comes with you to get a new phone and ID the next afternoon.

Zen

Zen rarely answers his phone when he’s at rehearsal, or while he is driving, which means when he has a production happening, he is often unreachable

The phone rings, and rings, and rings…and then you get sent to voicemail.

It sucks, of course it does, but it does convince you to call the police sooner.

The police give you a ride down to the station to take your statement, much to the relief of both you and the teenage store employees from whom you borrowed the phone.

You use the station phone to try calling Zen again, and leave another voicemail letting him know where you are and asking him to come pick you up.

Zen comes back to his phone as soon as rehearsal stops for a quick break. He expects your usual cute ‘I love you’ voicemails, or you asking him to pick up something from the store on the way back, not the sound of you crying on recording while you try to explain someone held a gun to your head earlier that afternoon.

BURSTS into the police station, though thankfully the staff are more affected by his looks than his intensity. They make him sit in the waiting room while you finish up speaking with an officer. He bounces his leg up and down anxiously the entire time.

You told him you were okay on his answering machine, but no one could be okay after that.

You walk out of the door, and Zen swoops you up into his arms, lifting you off the ground.

“I’m so sorry babe, I should have been here sooner. I was in the middle of rehearsal and the director made us do six takes for one scene. Are you okay? Did they hurt you?” Hands. All. Over. You. It’s (mostly) appropriate, but the look in his eyes is genuinely remorseful.

“What were you thinking going out by yourself?”

Uh, that I needed food in the fridge? Oh, right.

“Just let me know next time, okay? We can go together after rehearsals. I couldn’t forgive myself if anything happened to you.”

He takes you back to his apartment, insisting that you shouldn’t stay alone after something so traumatic.

Asks if you want tea, if you want to watch  one of his musicals, if you need anything, if you’re up for eating. It’s question after question asked in a soft cooing voice.

He makes sure you get to sleep, tucking you into bed and snuggling close to you, but he stays awake, unable to sleep. What if you’d been shot and not just robbed?

The rest of the RFA finds out via a 3am chat conversation Zen has with himself.

He piles on the concealer and surprises you the next morning with chocolates and pepper spray

Jaehee (this one decided not to follow the prompt entirely)

Your work uniform is ruined, your phone was stolen along with the rest of your valuables

Walking back to coffee shop is the easiest and safest option. You were just out to pick up lunch for you and Jaehee.

You come in disheveled and distraught without your key to the back entrance and head straight for the back room so you disturb the customers as little as possible.

An employee mentions it to Jaehee and she heads to the supply room to check on you. “MC, is everything alright?”

You don’t answer, can’t answer without crying. After another knock is met with silence, she whips out her key chain to unlock the door, only to find you curled up in the middle of the storage area.

“MC!? What happened?” She shuts the door quietly behind her and squats down in front of you, looking at you with gentle, concerned eyes. This woman loves you so much.

As you stutter out the words her eyes widen and she wraps one arm around you to try and comfort you a little. It must have been horribly traumatic. She lets you cry on her shoulder and waits until you settle down a little more before speaking.

“That must have been very scary. You did a great job and I’m so glad you’re okay, but we really should call the police and let them know. It’s best to conduct incident interviews as soon as possible after a crime has taken place.”

She has the police come in the back entrance and holds your hand while they ask questions about what happened.

Once your initial interview is completed, Jaehee has one of the baristas close the shop that night so she can stay at home with you.

She runs you a nice bath and the two of you cuddle up on the couch and watch one of Zen’s funnier musicals.

Jaehee takes care of changing the locks, getting you new keys and a phone, informing the RFA, scheduling you a doctor’s appointment just to be safe, and even offers to come with you to get new identification.

Jumin

Technically, you called Jaehee.

Just getting to a phone was an adventure in itself.

You stumble, shaking, into a nearby store and ask to use the phone only to realize you have no idea what Jumin’s number is. Curse you modern contact-saving technology

You have to ask if an employee can google the C&R corporate number and stutter your way through a couple of transfers before someone is finally willing to let you talk to Jaehee.

“MC? MC, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Jaehee had to go get Jumin from a meeting, but a frantic motion of her hand and mouthing the name ‘MC’ got him moving faster than she had ever seen.

“Driver Kim will come get you right away and take you home. I will meet you there. Assistant Kang will contact the police for you, and let Seven know what has happened so he can take proper precautions.”

That’s right. If they have your phone, they have access to the RFA app.

He takes the helicopter back to the apartment, just to make sure he is there when you arrive.

He takes notes on everything that was taken from you when you tell the police and has it all replaced by the end of the day.

Once the police leave he spends the rest of the evening spoiling you. He has you take a hot bath, feeds you whatever you want (though he insists you have a hot beverage to settle your nerves), offers you a massage, reads you an extra-long story before bed, and even suggests having a guard come watch you sleep if it would make you feel safer

You say he could just hold you instead

He has extra security guards around for the next few days and is reluctant to go into work until Seven has finished his own investigation and can assure Jumin the robbers were just robbers with no ulterior motives.

Saeyoung/707

You are shaking hard and struggling to talk when Saeyong picks up. Next to no one knows his number, so he always answers.

“Who is this?” He asks.

“T-they had a gun-and–” You let out a small sob, unable to explain and keep it together. Hell, you barely know where you are.

“MC?” Super serious agent mode: on. “MC, I’m coming to get you just give me a few minutes.”

He holds the phone between his ear and his shoulder while he types, figuring out where you are so he can come get you. Had you been kidnapped? Had the agency found out about you? He had been so careful about that. He was waiting to officially marry you just so the agency wouldn’t be able to easily find out about you…and they had already taken you? “Take a deep breath,” he’s not sure if he says that for you or for him, “is anyone with or around you?”

Your breaths are shakey, but you try to follow his instructions and answer his questions

He pulls your location (did he put a GPS tracking device in all of your shoes just in case of this very situation? Yes. Might that seem a little extreme? Maybe. Does he care? Right now? No.) and finds out you’re at…a grocery store?

That’s when he realized that you hadn’t been kidnapped. A hostage situation, then? A look at the CCTV footage finds you in the corner of the customer service kiosk, purse missing but otherwise looking uninjured. No hostages, just shoppers.

He lets out a sigh of relief. Whatever happened, you’re safe and that’s all that matters to him. He can deal with anything else. “I’m leaving the house to come get you right now, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

Breaks. All. The. Traffic. Laws

You’re finally able to explain things a little more as he drives over, and he listens carefully. He confirms he is listening with small noises from time to time, sounding calm and even upbeat, but the rage slowly grows.

You could have lost your life today and it wasn’t even something he dragged you into. It wasn’t something he could have planned on or expected. The two of you were both trouble magnets, made for each other in the worst possible way.

He rushes into the store, looking like a madman, and makes a beeline straight for you to pull you into a tight hug.

“It’s okay, MC. Everything’s alright.” Shifts his weight between each of his legs, rocking you awkwardly in the middle of the market until you calm down.

He takes you straight home, and actually listens for once when you complain about his unsafe driving, slowing down and following all the traffic laws like a proper soccer mom.

For the rest of the night he is extra indulgent. Anything you want, you get.

Gets into a fight with Saeran about you needing control for the remote tonight, even though you said nothing about the TV at all.

He wraps you up like a blanket burrito and cracks jokes until you feel like you can go to bed.

Saeyoung offers an anonymous tip about a crime to the police…conveniently followed by video footage ripped from nearby security cameras.

Saeran

You’ve never once called him distraught. Forlorn? Disappointed? Nervous? Maybe. Distraught? Sounding like you were about to break into a thousand pieces?  That is his job.

You handled almost everything he had ever thrown at you with impressive grace and poise.

You ask if Saeyoung could come get you now. When you have to ask someone where you are, he is immediately suspicious. Something definitely happened, something bad enough to have you ready to cry in a place you don’t know.

“What happened? Did someone hurt you?”

You start crying as you try to explain what happened.

“I’ll kill them.” He growled, fidgeting with his free hand to try and release some of his tension.“Saeyoung, get in the car now! We need to go pick up MC!”

He has no idea how to settle you down right now. You always hold him and stroke his hair, but he can’t do that over the phone and he’s not good with words the way you are.

He promises to make them pay in between bickering with Saeyoung about going faster

You are wrapped in a twin hug as soon as they show up. Saeran clings to you desperately, while Saeyoung squeezes you both tightly.

“I’ll squish all the sadness right out of you,” Saeyoung jokes. Saeran scoffs in disapproval at how ridiculous it sounds.

Both of you sit in the backseat on the way back, Saeran’s arms wrapped around your waist while he leans on your chest.

You two spend the rest of the evening snuggled on the couch with him while he strokes your hair and tries to spoon-feed you ice cream. He is awkward about it, fumbling and unsure, but he really tries.

Saeyoung takes care of the logistical things, ensuring you have a new phone connected to the RFA app and disconnecting the old one.

Saeran does not kill them, but he does make them pay. He destroys their credit, drains their bank account, releases every secret they thought they could keep. Then, he tips off the police about their illegal firearms and proudly presents you their arrest records.

It has nothing to do with what they did, he had done far worse for probably worse reasons, but who they did it to. Nobody was going to hurt the best thing that ever happened to him and walk away unscathed.

If you ever have nightmares about it, he is always right there to assure you it’s only a dream.

V/ Jihyun

If he can, he will always answer his phone, even if he does not know  the number (and he is impossibly nice, even to the fourth telemarketer of the day)

“MC, it’s okay. I’ll come get you right away.”

“Take deep breaths, in through your nose…out through your mouth. Good, now do it again. In…and out…” He walks you through breathing exercises until you’re calm enough to tell him where you are.

He stays on the phone with you the entire time, describing exactly where he is and how soon he should be there. “Can you tell me about things in the store? What do you see? Good. Can you smell anything? That’s sounds great. How does the phone feel in your hand?”

Thank you Rika’s mental instability

He keeps you calm on the phone, but once he makes it inside he starts looking for you and pulls you into a tight hug to help calm you down

Guides you to a secluded spot and rubs your back gently. “It’s alright, you can cry it all out now.”

Waits patiently for you to settle down and then takes you down to the police station to file a report

Offers you his phone so you can talk to the rest of the RFA if you want to.

Jihyun is very gentle and soothing for the rest of the night. Asks if you need anything, but mostly just makes sure he is by your side for you to hold onto if you need him.

Makes sure you have a blanket and are warm the rest of the night

puts you into bed early

He contacts Seven to have him take care of any security breaches and get a new phone set up for you.

Vanderwood

He’s not your first call, and that’s per his own request: “If anything ever happens to you, call agent 707 first. He’ll get you help faster.”

You call Seven, and the moment he hears how distraught you are he immediately starts typing, keys clicking loudly in the background as he shouts for Vanderwood.

It’s seconds later when Vanderwood snatches the phone from Seven’s hands.

“MC? MC, what happened?” He only tolerates a few seconds of incoherent blubbering before he interrupts again. “You need to stop crying. I can’t understand you when you’re crying. Where are you?”

More incoherent blubbering. He puts his hand over the receiver to muffle the sound but they can still here him yell “Seven! Where the hell are they?! I need a location!”

“Are you safe?”

“I sent the coordinates to your phone. I have her on the security camera,” barks Seven in the background, more serious than MC is used to hearing them. Keys jingle on the other line, presumably Vanderwood borrowing Seven’s car.

“I’m leaving to come get you. I’ll call you when I’m in the car.” The call disconnects, but a new call from an unknown number shows up on the screen a few minutes later.

“MC?” He stays on the line the entire ride there, voice calm and smooth as he asks questions about what happened and assures them he will be there soon.

A car suddenly swerves into a nearby parking space. Vanderwood steps, all business except for the glint of concern in his eyes.

“Come on, let’s get you off the street.” His voice lacks it’s usual bite. He puts one hand on you shoulder and guides you to the car, buckling you in before he slips into the driver’s seat.

He takes you back to his apartment, locking the door before stopping you in the doorway, one hand on either arm to keep you in place.

Vanderwood carefully looks you over for any injuries, meticulous but gentle.

“Sit on the couch.” He wraps an old crocheted blanket he keeps draped over the couch (one an eighty-year-old grandmother might keep around) around your shoulders before disappearing down the hall.

Comes back a few minutes later with a steaming mug of tea, and turns on some strange reality show before sitting down beside you and casually putting an arm around you shoulders.

You give him a confused look which he dismisses with a hand wave. “You’re going to settle down, and then we’re going to talk about what happened.”

[evanthenerd83]

Blood And Ink: The Other Notes

It’s been a while since I last posted an update and the situation hasn’t improved. You guys and girls and ghouls should know why. Even if you just recently found this blog, you’ve probably seen the posts, the photos, and the glitched out text.

It isn’t exactly subtle in its goal. It hasn’t tried to hide from you all. It knows that you’re reading this and won’t stop drawing attention to itself until I do what it wants.

And I’ll get to that later.

So, here I am.

I didn’t use my laptop for a week after reading the second note. I kept it behind the bookshelf, unplugged and turned off. It wasn’t because of the note itself, though. I understood what it meant and while it was definitely unnerving, it didn’t really bother me that much. Something about my stories has inoculated me against real life oddities. Write enough stories featuring the paranormal and you get used to weirdness.

My autism might have helped, too. I tend to adapt easily to a schedule, especially at school, and I will ignore any difference present in the environment.

Of course, I might just be speculating. Or exaggerating. Or lying. I know how ridiculous that sounds, but I don’t have a better explanation.

Anyway, it wasn’t the note that unnerved me, but the fact that something had used my laptop without me knowing. That it knew me. My hobby. That it could communicate with me. And that it could leave me notes.

There was also the subject of whether it would leave me another one or not. I had no clue.

What could it do?

Could there be another note waiting for me?

I would stare at the bookshelf and the spine of my laptop. A part of me itched to turn it on while another was screaming at me to take a hammer to it. But I couldn’t really destroy it. Not without getting into trouble at least. My reluctance to satisfy my curiosity grew with each passing day.

I eventually started to make excuses. I had to work. I had to study for the EOCT in Economics. There were too many things I had to do. The week passed by fairly quickly though.

Finally, the break came around and I had no excuse.

The Thing started to move here. When I posted an update explaining how I had been taking a break from writing due to school, several letters were emboldened. They spelled something out. The word “lies”.

I didn’t know how to react to its assertion and decided to ignore it. But someone sent me an anon message. I got the notification on my phone.

“Are you okay?”

Once again, I brushed it off. I lied and said that I was fine.

In fact, I posted a selfie saying so.

A couple of minutes passed before I got another notification. Another anon message.

“What’s with the sickly photo?”

I opened the Tumblr app and came face to face with myself. A selfie that had been distorted to the point where I could make out each and every pimple in crystal clear detail. Shadow clouded. Gray. And underneath it were the words, “IM FiNE Im FIne iM fINe IM FINE IM FINE IM FINE IM FINE”, accompanied by a few tags.

“I’m fine”.

“Nothing to worry about”.

“Don’t worry about me”.

“Don’t you trust me?”

The Thing was taunting me. It knew that I was lying to you guys and wanted me to be ashamed. And its attempts were working. I felt sick to my stomach.

I was raised in a Christian household and I’ve always been told to tell the truth, lest I’d be damned to Hell. It worked for a while. But as you should already know, I lied about the weird text posts. And I kept on lying.

Another notification. Another anon message asking me about my health, this time a lot more reactionary. Some social justice warrior called me a heartless and disgusting person and threatened to report me to Staff. I assumed that someone who had suffered from depression had read one of my more graphic stories and been offended. I checked my blog.

But when I saw the post, I felt my heart drop into my lower intestine. The Thing hadn’t posted a picture. It had posted some text. I braced myself for what I could only assume was a demand.

It was worse than that.

“i did it. i opened my skin for the first time and it was excruciating. but it was also fun. pulling out my Bones and severing veins and siLencing my screaming nerves. this must be hOw he feels. this is wrOng though. i shoulDn’t be hurting myself for such An occasioN, no matter how exciting. but i’m just so happy. he’s starteD wrItiNg again.”

I wanted to scream after I read it. I wanted to die. The Thing was glorifying self harm and had decided to post its musings onto Tumblr, of all places. And it had done so on my blog.

My confusion turned into panic as I scrambled to throw out a decent apology. I brushed it off as a joke. A terrible, terrible joke. I knew that was another lie, but I had to do something to not be crucified by the hoards of SJWs who were knocking on my front door. It worked and nobody even noticed the tasteless portrayal of such a sensitive subject. I was relieved. For the moment.

I went into the post’s available options. I meant to select the delete option, but the screen flickered and I accidentally reblogged it. I had to issue another apology.

The Thing wasn’t done yet. It took me a while to notice them, but there were words in bold that were hidden in my apologies. The first contained “check the” and the second held “laptop”. Put those together and you get: “Check the laptop”.

Check the laptop.

My laptop.

It wanted me to check my laptop. I glanced at my bookshelf and shuddered when I saw the silver spine poking out of the darkness, just where I had left it. The rational part of my mind was in a screaming match with my curiosity. This could’ve been a trick. Another ploy to get my attention. But at the same time, it could’ve been a honest request.

My curiosity won in the end and I reluctantly pulled it out. Dust had settled around its screen and the battery was dangerously low, about twenty percent. I didn’t plug it up though. Didn’t really care.

It worked fine enough.

A familiar feeling raised its ugly head as I opened Notepad. It had been weeks since I read the notes, but I could still remember how uncomfortable they made me feel. The Thing knew a lot about me. It knew things that were meant to be private. It must have been stalking me.

There was a new file folder in Notepad. There wasn’t a title and it didn’t appear to be that big. Just a couple of gigabytes. I opened the file, coming face to face with six documents. Two of those documents were the first notes I had read. I scrolled down to check if the first notes had been deleted or just simply transferred or copied, but I couldn’t find the originals.

The third document was titled “I’m Sorry”. From the information displayed, it was created a day after I had hidden my laptop. My fear almost won the argument. All of the shock and confusion from earlier returned as a fire. But it was already too late for self preservation. I opened it.

“You’ve been gone for quite a while now, Evan. Is everything okay?

I’m sorry for making you upset. I shouldn’t have pushed you so far. You needed some time to get back into the groove. You weren’t ready. Hiatuses can be hard. I can respect that.

But you can’t just leave me alone.

Not like that.

You didn’t even respond.

Just understand.

I need you.”

The fourth was titled “Why”. It had been created a week ago. A very short note.

“Was it something I said? Why would you keep me like this?”

The fifth was titled “Remember Me”. Created six hours earlier.

“Did you forget about me?

Hm?

I’m sure you didn’t. You couldn’t have.

But I can’t shake the feeling.

Maybe I need to jog your memory.”

It was obvious what it meant. It had posted about self-harm in order to get my attention. All its other attempts had failed and it knew enough about Tumblr to fire a warning shot. And that strategy had worked.

I had denied its authenticity and accidentally reblogged it. Reacted to it. Surely, that was what it wanted from me.

But there was still one more note.

The sixth note was titled “Everything”. Created an hour before I had decided to check on my laptop.

“I hate you.

I've tried everything. Everything.

It doesn’t matter how many notes I write. You still haven’t realized how much it hurts.

You probably think that you can just stop and I’d no longer exist. Well too bad. I’m not going anywhere.

So what will it take to get you to write again?”

To write again.

I swallowed some spit. As soon as I read those words, everything clicked. Made sense.

It didn’t just want my attention. It didn’t just want me to respond to its constant inquiries and notes. It wanted me to write again. It was waiting for me to come up with another story or poem. All this time, after everything it had put me through for the last month, it wanted that?

I exited out of the document and closed the file folder. My head started to hurt.

I created a new document, stared at it, and typed a single word. A question.

“Why?”

[lovelifelivewise]

Starling Bank Review: Can It help you budget better?

Table of Contents Before we dive in on what makes Starling Bank a top banking proposition, let's look at where Starling Bank started and what it has on offer that might be of interest to you!  If you are just after an honest opinion on Starling's usefulness to budget, go to the Table Of  Contents above and select points 9 - 12 on the list where I share how I use it and my experience as a user.

What Is Starling Bank?

Starling Bank is a  fully-licensed bank, founded in 2014 by industry-leading banker Anne Boden, who saw how technology was evolving and how it could serve customers in a way that traditional banks were not able to do. They have since raised £323 million in backing and were voted Best British Bank three years running. All of Starling’s accounts are protected up to £85,000 by the Financial Services Compensation Scheme. To open an account go here.

How many customers does Starling have?

According to their website, in 2019, Starling passed one million customer accounts with £1 billion in deposits.

Who owns Starling Bank?

Starling Bank is an independent, privately-owned company and is not part of any other bank (Starlingbank.com). It is 24% owned by Anne Boden, employees and ex-employees and an employee benefits trust set up for employees. Other investors are: Harry McPike, a global private investor with a focus on technology and financial sector opportunities. He is represented on the board by two investor directors: Lázaro Campos, a fintech investor and entrepreneur and former CEO of SWIFT, and Marcus Traill, a senior investment management professional and director of QuantRes, a global proprietary quantitative trading firm. Merian Global Investors, a leading public investor in the UK.

Starling Bank Account Types

Starling Current Accounts Starling Bank offers four different types of bank accounts to satisfy everybody's needs, see below for details on each account type. Personal Current Account Applying is really easy and you can ask them to text you the app. To verify your identity, they ask that you take a picture (selfie) and send to them for verification together with a passport or driving license picture. Joint Current Account Perfect account for couples or friends that share financial commitments. You both need to have a current account and can apply via the app. Euro Current Account A great option if you have family in an EU country and transfer money regularly in euros, you can hold, send and receive euros for free with a Starling euro account. Teen Account You can easily apply via the app, just need a passport ID. Starling Business Accounts Business Account For limited companies and other business registered businesses.  Sole trader Account For self employed or even if you just have a side hustle. Keep your finances in check with this account. Euro Account For business transactions in euros.

Opening a Starling Account

Opening an account is very easy. You can download the app to your phone and apply via the app. You can also go to Starling's website and ask them to send you the app. If you have friends that already bank with Starling, ask them to refer you.

Starling Bank Top features

No monthly or joining fees Card controls: you can freeze your card and can block transaction types so you are better protected Instant notifications: get a notification each time a payment enters or leaves your account Round Up: round up your transactions and put the change into savings 24/7 UK customer support: need something? customer service is available 24/7 via the app, phone or email

Starling Bank Additional Features

In addition to the above features, Starling Bank offers other features that may come in handy when managing your finances. Personal overdraft: this overdraft is easy to apply for and comes with variable interest starting at 15% EAR . You can manage your limits directly from the app. Split the bill: you can split bills easily with Settle Up. In just a few clicks all is sorted via the app. Digital Wallet: connect your card to Apple Pay and Google Pay to Samsung Pay, Fitbit Pay or Garmin Pay. Set Goals: this is a fun way to save money. You can set your goals and monitor your progress towards reaching them, all from a very visual app. Pay in cheques from your phone: you can deposit cheques under £500, just need a picture for ID confirmation.

Starling Banking Fees

As we said above, there are no charges for opening an account and monthly maintenance is also free, card delivery is free too. Personal Overdraft Personal overdrafts come with a variable EAR starting at 15% Personal Loan Fees If you have an overdraft with your current account, the loan interest will be lower than overdraft interest. Business Overdraft RATE (% EAR VARIABLE) starts at 5% for business overdrafts. Business Loan Fees Loans up to £25,000 have a representative rate of 7% APR (fixed). ATM Fees Starling  does not charge at ATM in the UK or abroad. Money Transfer Fees No charges apply for transfers within the UK. International transfers have a £0.3-5.5 fee.  currency exchange fees Starling also applies a 0.4% currency exchange fee to each transaction.

My personal experience with Starling Bank

I have held a personal account with Starling bank for over 2 years now and made it my main account after 6 months. Here I will detail what I like and what I like less about this account based on my experience so far.

What I like Notifications: I have notifications in both like and like less because there are two sides to them. I like that each time I make a purchase, I'm notified instantly. Most often I have not yet left the shop. Setting goals: this is one of my favorite features because you can set yourself challenges and track how you are doing. Reports: I like this a great deal better than having each notification. At the end of the day you can see in one screen what went out and what came in and it shows in a very visual way, clear and easy to digest. Round Up: this is useful if you like to save money and look for inventive ways of doing it. By rounding your payments to the nearest pound you save little by little and when you realize, there is a little fund there waiting for you. What I like Less Notifications: why are notifications both in like and like less? Yes they are informative but they are annoying too! I'm pretty sure you can turn them off, I haven't tried. I would much rather receive a reminder to check a daily report. These are preferences rather than really important things. Budgeting limitations: although you can set saving goals, there is no options allowing you to set targets per category so you can monitor your spend against your targets. Transaction fees: I have family abroad and as such being able to send money to my family is one of the things I look for and Starling's fees although not high, they add up when you transfer money often. When compared with Pingit, the app I normally use for payments, Pingit comes on top with no fees and better exchange rates in Euro transactions.

Can Starling Bank help you budget better?

There are several parts to a successful budget and you can do it in many ways and although Starling Bank does not have a tool specifically to help you with budgeting, it has some features that can help in improving your budgeting and the way you do it. So the answer to the above is not a resounding Yes because there is no one tool dedicated to budgeting but I'll exemplify below the steps I take to make it work for me and how I budget with it's help.

How you can make starling work with your budget

know your spending The first and most important part of any budgeting exercise is knowing where your money is going! This is so important I can say it until I go BLUE! If you want to learn more about the basics of budgeting you can read the posts below that explain in detail and show you how to plan. How can starling help? In the spending tab of the app you have the choice to see all your spending in two different ways by category and by merchant. You can use this information in different ways. I use it to see where most of my money goes in terms of the categories: transports, shopping, bills & services, eating out, groceries... I also use the merchants view to see where I can make cuts! For example, overall spending £70 eating out a month might not sound too bad but if those £70 were spent in coffee, that might sound a lot different. Starling gives you the information you need to make informed decisions but you don't have a tool to implement them neatly in the app! You can get my monthly planner here and use the notes section to write down what you are expecting to spend and what the actual spent was on those categories. This will easily show you savings and extra spending in each category and help you in planning goals to achieve the following month. Set saving goals You can set different saving goals directly on the Starling app and have the option to round up payments and save towards those different goals. This is a simple way to do it. You can also set other more specific goals based on what I described above Let's say that you want to bring down the coffee spend to £50 a month rather than £70. I would set that as a monthly goal on my budget planner and would use the app to track spending and savings made.

In Conclusion

With so many different options for online banking and the major banking players almost catching up with the new arrivals, it's easy to forget what to look for and judge how we can make banks work harder for us! I personally feel that a Starling Current Account can help you greatly with saving better and gaining a greater understanding of where your money is going every month. I hope this review helps you make savvy financial choices and consider what is important to you, to how You manage your finances and the goals you have in place. My free budget planner can help you keeping all your notes neat in one place, get it here.   You can read more about saving money below:  How To Start Saving Money Today  5 Simple Ways To Save Money Each Month! Let me know in the comments below ways you use to improve your budgeting and experiences (good and not so good) you have with banking providers!

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[skyfishcosplay]

A beginner’s guide to choosing and working with fabrics for cosplay

Choosing the right kind of fabric and treating it right when sewing can greatly improve the finished look of your cosplay. Here are a few tips on how to decide what fabrics to buy and how to treat and work with it when making your cosplay.

Deciding what fabric to pick

So you have picked a character and decided to make the cosplay yourself and are now ready to buy fabric for it.

The first thing you need to do is to find a couple of good reference picture of your character from different angles and see how many different fabrics you will need.

The next step is to try to decide what kind of fabric you will need, this step can be really tricky if you don't have any previous experience with fabrics.

A good way to start figuring it out is to think about what qualities you want the fabric to have. Is the character wearing a formfit catsuit? Then the fabric should be stretchy like a four-way stretch spandex or a lycra. Is the character wearing a corset? Then the fabric should be stiff and a bit thicker. Is the character wearing a light and airy skirt? etc etc Write up the qualities you want the different fabrics in your cosplay to have and start doing some research.

Look at what kind of fabrics other people used in a similar garment or what recommendations the sewing patterns of the similar clothes say.

Another tip is to think what kind of person your character is. Is it a princess? Then maybe the fabric she would wear would be a bit more expensive looking and not just a simple cotton. Is it a hobbit? Then maybe the fabric should be natural and not synthetic.

Difference between Synthetic and Natural fabrics:

There is a lot of different kind of fabrics but they all fall under two main types; Synthetic and natural fabrics.

Natural fabrics are made from either the fibers of plants or animals (wool, hair etc). Examples are: Cotton, linen, silk, wool etc.

Synthetic fabrics are made from fibers made in scientific way and are produced from chemicals. Examples are: Polyester, Nylon, Spandex, acrylic etc.

Blend fabrics is as it sounds a mix of the both fibers to create a textile that has properties from both fibers.

Buying fabrics in store vs online:

If you have access to a fabric store that sells more than just curtain fabrics then it's a great opportunity to get to know how different fabrics feels and works. Don't be afraid to take help of the employees of the store and ask what kind of fabric would work for the garment. Bring a photo of your character so you can check how the color looks and if you already have a piece of your cosplay ready and you need a fabric in a similar color take a sample with you so you can check so it match.

I highly recommend bringing a camera (or your phone) to the store and take photos of the fabric you are thinking of buying. Most fabric looks different with a flash and can get really shiny or change color. Since you probably want photos of your finished cosplay it is important to check so the fabric looks good both on and off camera.

This is for example photos of the same fabric taken in different lights:

If you don't have a fabric store close to you or could not find the fabric you were looking for, buying fabrics online is a great second option. Buying fabrics online can be hard since you don't have the opportunity to touch it, feel it and see how it flows, it can also be hard to see the exact color of it. I therefore recommend that you order some fabric samples of the fabric you are interested in before buying several yards of it. Fabric samples are often not very expensive and it is a great way to get to see how it looks and feel before deciding.

A tip is to save the fabric samples or cut out a piece of your fabric and write on a note what kind of fabric it is and where you bought it and then save it in a folder. This makes it really easy to later when you are going to make another cosplay to just check the folder and see if any of those fabrics would work for that cosplay.

Be aware of shiny and cheap looking fabrics!

Some shiny fabrics will look extra shiny when photographed and shiny fabrics have a tendency to look cheap and not so nice. Make sure to photograph the fabric before buying it to avoid this.

Some fabrics wrinkle very easily and it is not fun to get a lot of wrinkles on your skirt as soon as you sit down. A tip is to wrinkle a small piece of the fabric and see how much it wrinkles.

Don't be afraid to use the "wrong" side of the fabric.

Most fabric have two sides that look different, one right side and one wrong side. Most of the time you will most likely use the right side of the fabric but don't forget to check the backside of the fabric. I like to use the wrong side of fabrics when the right side is for example too shiny. This way you will end up having a lot more option when choosing fabrics.

For my Sophie Hatter cosplay I used the wrong side of a micro satin and it worked fine:

So you decided on a fabric and are now going to buy it, but how much do you need?

This is a tricky question, some fabrics are expensive so you don't want to buy too much of it but if you buy too little you need to buy more later. When I started out I was really scared to order too little and ended up with a lot more than what I needed (I still have several yards left today), I have since then learned how much I will need.

A good way to think about it is to look at sewing patterns for similar garments of the one you will make. How much fabric does it recommend you use? Are you going to make a circle skirt? Use a calculator like this one to: http://byhandlondon.com/pages/circle-skirt-app to calculate how much you will need.

Remember to take a bit more of what you think you will need, since you want to include the seam allowance and it is easy to make mistakes.

A good way to see how much fabric you will need is to make a mock up. Sewing the garment you plan on making first in a super cheap material. I like to use really cheap bed sheets for this. By making the garment in a cheap material you will be able to see how much fabric you need but also practise to make it so you don't make as many errors and mistakes once you make it in the real fabric.

If you end up ordering too much it is not the whole world, you will be able to use it for other cosplays in the future.

You bought the fabric, what is the next step?

Once you have the fabric it is a few things you need to do before starting sewing.

It can be a good idea to pre-wash your fabric.

The fabric can shrink and change color a bit when you wash it and it is therefore a good idea to pre-wash it then you are planning on making something that is going to be washed again later when it is sewn. You don't want to make a cosplay just to wash it after the convention and end up  with something you're not able to wear again because it shrunk in the wash. Different fabrics works different and you need to look up how you should wash it and in what heat. Also remember to check how to dry the fabric afterwards, some fabrics can for example stretch out when hanged or the washing line can leave marks on the fabric and be hard to get away.

You don't need to wash all fabrics but a good thumb rule is that if you are planning on washing the piece at some point later, pre-wash the fabric.

Choosing the right thread and needle.

When choosing thread for your fabric it is two things you need to think about; What kind of thread do you need and what is a good color match for it. There is some different kind of threads and a good way to think about it is that if your fabric is synthetic you will need a synthetic thread such as polyester thread, if your fabric is natural you will need a natural thread like cotton thread. If you for example use a synthetic thread to a natural fabric the textile can rip because the thread is stronger than the fabric. I recommend to look up different properties for different thread before buying or ask in your store what would work best.

When choosing the color of the thread for the fabric it can sometimes be hard to find a exact match. I would when recommend to buy a darker shade of color rather than a lighter, it will look better. Bring a fabric sample of your fabric to the store so you can see so the color of the thread match the fabric before you buy it.

It can be a good idea to choose the right sewing machine needle to your fabric before you start sewing. Needles comes in different thicknesses and the thicker your fabric is the higher needle size you want. There is a few special needles like needles for sewing in stretch fabric, leather and microtex. Having the right needle for your fabric will make sewing a lot easier and I recommend getting the appropriate needle for the fabric you are working with.

Dyeing or adding a pattern to your fabric.

If you did not find the right fabric color for your character it can be a good idea to just dye the fabric yourself. When dyeing a fabric it is important to first pre-wash the fabric. It is also important to remember that it is much harder to dye synthetic fabric than natural. Make therefore sure what kind of fabric you are using and look up tutorials for how to color your fabrics. Remember that it also is important that if you are dyeing a natural fiber fabric that the thread also is natural and not synthetic so you don't end up with a dyed fabric with a different colored thread.

Finding the exact pattern your character have on their clothing can be really tough and it can therefore be a good idea to try making the pattern yourself. Fabric paint works great for this. Lay your fabric flat and draw out your pattern with a pen and then fill it in with the paint. Heat transfer vinyl works really well for some designs as well. There is a lot of tutorials about this, so look them up for inspiration.

Sewing patterns are a great help when sewing clothing and getting to know how clothes are constructed.

I highly recommend buying a pattern similar to what you are going to make, it will make the whole sewing process much easier! With the sewing pattern you will get big sheets of paper with the pattern pieces in different sizes and a step by step instruction on how to put it together. On the back of the pattern you will find a size chart so you can find out which size works for you, there will also be recomendations on what kind of fabric works for the clothing and how much fabric you will most likely need.

Making a pattern from scratch is a lot harder than it seems and you need some experience on how patterns work before you try making one yourself. If none of the sewing patterns fits your character design spot on you can always buy a similar pattern and then alter it.

Some people like to cut out their size out of the sewing pattern directly from the paper sheet it comes in but I recommend getting a roll of sewing pattern paper. It is a thin see through paper that you can lay over the sewing pattern and then trace with a pen the pattern to the sewing pattern paper. By doing this and cutting out the pattern from the sewing pattern paper instead of the sewing pattern directly you will be able to use it again in the future even if your size changes or lending out the pattern to a friend.

When you finally place the pattern pieces on the fabric don't forget to add a seam allowance! This is a small extra measurement you add around the pattern so you don't sew the garment too small. Some patterns already include seam allowance so make sure to read the instructions before drawing it out.

A tip is to try out the sewing pattern by first making a mock-up with a cheaper fabric. This way you will see if the size fit you and if you need to alter the design a bit without wasting your more expansive fabric.

The importance of grain lines and what it is.

To put it simply grain lines exist in all woven fabrics and are the orientation of the threads in the textile. Depending on which direction you cut out a pattern piece from the fabric the chosen grain will affect how the fabric hangs, stretches and sometimes looks. Depending what kind of fabric you are using this can be very important. If you are using a fabric like for example velvet or twills it is really important how you cut out your fabric. If you lay your hand to the fabric and stroke it in different directions you can feel how different it feels. If you cut out the pattern pieces in different orientations and then sew it together the grain lines will be different and when the light hits the garment it will appear as if it has different colors. Make sure when working with these kinds of fabrics that the pattern pieces are all cut out along the same grain lines.

In some woven fabrics however this is not that noticeable. Study your fabric before cutting out the pieces and see if you need to cut them out along the grain line or not. Non-woven fabrics do not have grains like for example leather, felt or interfacing.

Remember to zigzag.

Some fabrics fray, a lot, when you cut in them and to prevent the fraying from ruining your seams it is a good idea to use a zigzag stitch around the edges of the pieces before sewing them together. I have seen a lot of new people getting into cosplay make the mistake of not zigzaging the edges and end up with a ripped seam when the fraying eats away the fabric. Zigzaging takes a bit longer and you need a bit more thread but is really worth it in the end, no one likes when their cosplay breaks.

Ironing is really important!

I can't stress this enough! Ironing is one of the most important things you need to do when working with your fabric. Iron your fabric before drawing out your pattern on it, iron down the seams while you are sewing you cosplay together and iron everything once you are done. This will make such a difference in the final result. Your cosplay will look a lot better just by ironing it. If the cosplay get wrinkled in the transport to the convention it can also be a good idea to iron it again before putting it on.

OBS! Think about what kind of fabric you are using! Always iron on a test piece when working with a new fabric. If the fabric is synthetic it will melt in high temperature so it is really important to make sure you use the appropriate temperature. Wool can also be affected by high temperature so make some research before ironing. When ironing sensitive fabrics it can be a good idea to use a second piece of cotton fabric inbetween the iron and the fabric to prevent the sensitive fabric to take any damage.

Some extra tips:

Buying fabrics and sewing patterns secondhand - Second hand stores are great for finding fabrics, sewing patterns and details to a good cheap price. Buying skirts, curtains and bags are perfect to scavenge for parts to use for cosplay.

Look up tutorials - Tutorials are great and there is tons of them. Do some googling and see what you can find. A good place to start: http://cosplaytutorial.com/list.php

Alter clothing - If you are just starting out sewing and don't really know what you are doing it can be a good idea to start with altering clothing instead of sewing everything from scratch. Buy a base garment and then alter details and add what you need. This is a great introduction to sewing and does not cost and take as much time as making everything from scratch.

Interfacing - Interfacing is perfect if you need to make parts of your fabric more stiff like for example the collar. Interfacing is a piece of fabric that you can iron on to the backside of your fabric piece.

Lining - Lining is a inner layer of fabric and is really good you use in for example jackets were you will be able to see the inside and the lining hides the seams, interfacing etc.

Weathering - If you want your cosplay to look worn, bloody or dirty weathering is the way to go. There are a lot of different ways to do it so search around and pick your favorite method.

~Bubblefish

[jncera]

So I'm a senior in high school and I'm really excited to be moving away from the constant negativity and toxicity of my parents when I get to college next year, but I'm really nervous to be living any where other than home. Do you have any advice?

Hey there! congrats! that’s super exciting and i know must feel like such a huge relief. an amazing new chapter of your life is about to begin!

I made a post about living alone/apartment life way back when here. Also have a post about what to bring to a dorm if you’re staying in one here (and if you have any more questions regarding dorm life, feel free to hit me up!!)

As for other tips about living away from home that the 1st linked post didn’t mention:

At College:

If you can, it helps to have a part-time job, especially one on campus as your employer will be more understanding of your student status, and will offer flexible schedules.

Learn all the safety services your college has (on-campus police, safe rides at night, text message alerts, emergency call stations, etc). Have that campus police number in your Favorites/somewhere easy to dial. They know the campus buildings better than the local police, so call them first if you’re on campus. 

If you want to go to parties with alcohol, go with trustworthy friends, and watch each other’s backs/drinks. If shit’s going down, even if you’re not involved, leave before the police shows up.

Before buying any textbooks, email the professor and ask just how much required work will come from it. Sometimes they’re just there for “your reference”, so you don’t need to buy it if you don’t want to. I also used bigwords.com to find the cheapest textbooks online (it basically does the work of comparing between sites for you). Renting is also a good option because honestly, how many times have we actually gone back to an old textbook years later? Everything’s always being constantly updated anyway. 

And, if you’re gonna throw a party at your place, inform your neighbors. Tell them to call you before they call the police if things are too rowdy, and respect their wishes. 

Finances:

Create a budget. There are plenty of online websites/apps to help or offer advice. Someone from your bank can also help you (they can also help you with all other financial stuff like what credit card is best for you (i also have some tips here for that)). If you already have a sense of personal finance, an Excel sheet works too!

Set up automatic payment for any bills. This can be done online through the company’s (electric, water, internet, etc) website, and directly links them to your bank account so that every month, they’ll automatically transfer the bill’s amount. It really helps prevent late fees/your power being shut off, etc. One less thing to think about during college! Just keep an eye on the numbers.

Before I buy anything, I always think: do I need it? do I want it? and can I really afford it? I mean, the treat yo self mantra is awesome and all, but so is not going broke. In college I did this whole “i can’t buy anything that’s not necessary” every other month (with a friend too, for accountability) and it really helped with my budgeting and self-discipline. 

Make a shopping list and stick to it. I use the Notes app on my phone and am constantly updating it until I go to the store. 

Safety:

Download the Uber app. Comes in handy if you’re at a party and want to leave early/don’t want to get in a car with someone drunk/etc. If I’m riding by myself I always screenshot my driver + route and send to a friend and tell them hey if you don’t hear from me in __ minutes, call the police.

If you have a car, learn about the maintenance so you a) stay safe on the road and b) can have an educated say on what’s being done when you car does go to the shop.

Don’t leave anything valuable in your car unattended. I know this is such common sense, but my family had our car broken into once and my purse got stolen.. all because I was too lazy to carry it into the restaurant 20 ft away. Some people may even break in for loose change if they see an opportunity. But if you must leave something valuable in your car, hide it before you reach your destination. Sounds super paranoid, but people may be watching.

And as soon as you get into your car, lock the doors. 

If your phone comes with an Emergency Contact/Health info page (accessible without unlocking), I highly advise to fill it out. There should also be room for you to put your blood type and list any allergies, current medications, etc. 

At Home:

Do all your chores religiously until they become habit, because the best thing about habits is that you never have to really think about doing them. Just like brushing your teeth, yeah? So if you hate doing dishes (like me), always do them after every meal until it just.. becomes something you just do without thinking. There: hate for doing dishes gone!

If you don’t know how to fix/do something, youtube tutorials are a godsend. 

Regularly get the mail, even if you’re not expecting anything. Ads/junk mail still come through, and if your postal service can’t fit anything in your mailbox, they may hold the rest of your mail in the post office, which could interfere with any important mail you may receive later. That being said, remember to change your address on any mailing lists every time you move, and set up a mail forwarding service with the post office (I think they do it for like.. 4 weeks or something?). If you’re going to be gone for a long period of time, you can also set up Mail Hold. 

And one last word (well, second to last): living on your own is amazing, but it’s also filled with learning curves. Everyone can give us advice all day long, but at the end of the day, sometimes we just gotta learn some things for ourselves. So it’s ok to make mistakes the first time round. I’ve burned food. Shattered glass pots. Set off the fire alarm. Clogged the sink with too many potato peels. Had something ridiculous and expensive happen to my car’s engine. Turned in my taxes late and got fined. Life happens, and we learn and adapt and grow. Honestly that’s what it means to be an Adult Who Knows Things--it’s because we’ve fucked up enough times and are old enough to have accumulated Knowledge and Experience. You’re gonna be ok, ok? :)

And.. last word. From one kid of toxic parents to another: life got.. so much better once i moved out and became independent. breathe. you’ve survived. and it’s all uphill from now on. your parents may still be a part of your life, and who knows, maybe in time they’ll realize their mistakes and try to make amends--like mine--but you just gotta remember... it’s all up to you now. it’s your life, all yours. and life’s gonna be so great for you

[pogueman]

David Pogue T-Mobile digits review

T-Mobile digits frees your phone number from your phone

T-Mobile, man. That company (TMUS) is just determined to mess with the traditional cellphone-carrier model.

This is the company that eliminated the two-year contract. That lets you stream all the music and video you want, without counting it against your data allotment. That eliminated international roaming charges.

And now, the company wants to give you another phone number.

It’s called T-Mobile Digits, a new service, currently in free beta testing for T-Mobile customers. The central idea is that Digits breaks the one-to-one bond between your phone number and your phone.

In so doing, Digits introduces all kinds of new flexibility—and complexity—into your digital life. They fall into one of two categories, which I’ll call “One to many” or “Many to one.”

When you sign up for the program, you can choose one of those categories, or both of them. (Told you this was going to involve some complexity!)

One to many

When you sign up for this option, your one T-Mobile number rings all your phones—even phones from Verizon (VZ), Sprint (S), or AT&T (T), and even WiFi-only devices like tablets! The idea is that you can now take and make calls, and send or receive messages, from whichever phone you have with you.

(If you’re hoping to include a non-smartphone in your arsenal, T-Mobile will send you an SIM card for it. Which means you’ll have to replace the phone’s existing SIM card. Which means it will have only one phone number. Which means you won’t be able to use the “many to one” feature described below. Did I mention that this all gets a little complex?)

When someone dials your one T-Mobile number, all of your associated gadgets ring at once. When you pick up one to answer it (or decline it), all the other devices stop ringing.

All your phones ring simultaneously—even non-T-Mobile ones.

So why is this useful? Well, if you race out of the house and forget your phone, no problem! You can borrow a phone, or you can use the Digits website. You can still get your calls and texts.

Or maybe you want to take a cheap ratty old feature phone with you running or rowing, instead of carrying your precious $700 smartphone. No sweat; now that ratty old feature phone can get (and send) your calls and texts.

Heck, you could now treat cellphones like multiple extensions of a landline. You can keep one phone up by your bed, and another downstairs; pick up whichever one is handiest when someone calls or texts.

What’s cool is that you can access your calls, texts, and voicemail from any device. From a watch. From a WiFi tablet. From any computer, tablet, or phone in the world, via the Digits website.

Suddenly, any browser on earth is a cellphone you can use.

Many to one

The other Digits option is the reverse: That is, you can also get a second phone number for your one phone. You can give out Phone Number A to your personal contacts, and reserve Phone Number B for business use.

When people call your one phone, you’ll see on the screen whether they’ve called Number A or Number B, so you’ll know which voice to use when you answer it. (You wouldn’t want to pick up and say, “Hey there, sugar lips” when it’s your boss, now, would you?)

And what about placing a call? How do you choose which “line” to use?

Here’s where things start getting complicated. If you have a recent Samsung model (Galaxy S6 or S7 family, or Note 5), the dialer app includes a handy pop-up button that lets you choose the outgoing line.

Recent Samsung phones have multiple-line options built right in.

If you have any other phone, you have to use the T-Mobile Digits app to place your calls and send your texts. It, too, offers a pop-up switch that lets you choose the line.

On non-Samsung phones, the Digits app asks which number you want to use for dialing.

How is this not Google Voice?

Now. If you think all this sounds like Google Voice, you’re right. Google (GOOG, GOOGL) Voice also gives you a virtual number that also rings all your phones at once. And also lets you place calls from that virtual number from any device. And Google Voice is free, which T-Mobile Digits won’t be after the beta period. (T-Mobile hasn’t said what the monthly cost will be.)

Google Voice also offers a bunch of other cool features. You can specify which phones ring at which hours of the day (“Don’t ring this phone after 6 p.m.”, for example). You can record a different voicemail greeting for each caller in your Address Book. You can transfer a call from one phone to another in mid-call. You get written transcriptions of your voicemail, which is not always perfect but is always useful. (This feature seems to be available in the Digits app, but I couldn’t figure out how to turn it on.)

T-Mobile argues that Digits is better than Google Voice. For starters, you can keep using your existing T-Mo phone number. (Of course, you can always port your existing phone number to Google Voice, too.)

Moreover, you get “high-definition voice” (the enhanced audio quality available when you’re calling another T-Mo customer) using Digits. It’s a “real, carrier-grade call,” a rep told me; it’s not being routed through some Google computer.

On the other hand, just last week, Google Voice received its first big upgrade in five years, along with a promise from Google that its chronic neglect of Voice is over. (Funny about that timing, eh? Five years without a peep—then T-Mobile unveils Digits, and BOOM!)

The iPhone conundrum

It’s pretty cool that your one T-Mobile number can somehow ring non-T-Mobile phones.

If you have an iPhone, however, there’s a footnote concerning iMessages. (That’s Apple’s (AAPL) proprietary enhanced texting service, filled with additional features: no length limit; a “the other person is currently typing” indicator; “message read” indicators; synchronized texts across all your Apple products; easy file transfers; and so on.)

Most reviewers are reporting that you have to give up iMessages entirely—turn it off—in order to use Digits. Indeed, that’s what I said in my video, above.

The answer is actually more nuanced. Your iMessages still work—it’s just that they won’t show up on your other Digits devices. If you go for a run with your cruddy 2007 Samsung, you’ll miss any text messages people send to your iPhone, and messages you send from Messages on that iPhone won’t appear on any of your other Digits devices.

You have to turn off iMessages only if you want all your incoming text messages to appear in the Digits app, on all your devices.

Told you this was complicated.

The impossibility of a conclusion

So how do you review T-Mobile digits? It’s really tough, because we don’t yet know what it will cost.

And, of course, everybody’s different. Your life may be complicated enough that you’d welcome the Digits decoupling of phone number and phone. Or you may crave simplicity and wonder why anyone would want or need the Digits kind of flexibility.

For now, here’s what we can say: There are some small bugs; for example, if you reject an incoming call, it goes into your phone’s regular voicemail app—but if you let it ring through to voicemail, it goes to the Digits app’s voicemail. And, of course, that iPhone iMessages business is a drag.

Still, even in its free beta-test period, Digits does what it says it will do. If you’re a T-Mo customer who faces the Digits use cases (you want two lines; you want multiple phones with the same number), you’ll be pleased.

If you’re anyone else, there’s always Google Voice.

David Pogue, tech columnist for Yahoo Finance, welcomes non-toxic comments in the Comments below. On the Web, he’s davidpogue.com. On Twitter, he’s @pogue. On email, he’s poguester@yahoo.com. You can read all his articles here, or you can sign up to get his columns by email. 

[josephlrushing]

Nine Months with Samsung Galaxy Note 10: My 12 Favorite Things

We recently recounted our six-month experiences with the Google Pixel 4/4XL, and if you took even a brief at my sections, you would see that ‘disappointed’ doesn’t begin to describe my take. My problems had very little to do with Android, as I have had another device that more than met my needs over the same period, so I wanted to highlight some of the coolest features of the Samsung Galaxy Note 10 Plus (or 10+, I tend to use them interchangeably).

As reviews from release noted, this phone delivers: from gorgeous screen to great speed and multitasking to excellent cameras to massive battery life, the Note 10+ promised a great deal. But so often those early reviews fail to capture the reality of long-term use. Now nine months later, I wanted to step through why I would rate this device as one of the best I have ever owned.

I wrote about the announcement and release of the Note 10 phones, but never got into my impressions. One thing I have always loved about the folks at Gear Diary is that while we all love the cool new toys, there is also the element of ‘let’s wait until it gets boring and see if we STILL like it’! I feel that came through in the Pixel group-review with the excellent variety of opinions, and it is what I am trying to bring to this list of favorite things about the Note 10 Plus. Every day I grab it out of my bag and drop it on my desk and just pick it up for any number of reasons throughout the day, no longer thinking ‘oh this is cool’ – until now. So let’s get right to it.

1. Screen – I have been thrilled about how Samsung has packed larger and more vibrant screens into pretty much the same frame since the Note 8. The Note 9 was great, and yet the Note 10+ is enough of an upgrade that I had no qualms about upgrading just a year later. The 6.8″ OLED panel dominates the entire device in an incredibly efficient way that makes every bit of glass something of value. The screen is very bright and crisp regardless of whether you change settings to maximize performance or battery life or balance both. It is without question the most gorgeous screen I have ever used.

2. Edge Panels – the Edge display seems to be divisive, but among Note fans such as myself, it is adored. The Samsung Edge pioneered using curved glass combined with a touchscreen at the edge of the device to give you a couple of millimeters to add ‘handles’ to pull out feature menus. At first, it was finicky and slow, but now these are fast, flexible, and they allow you to layer multiple feature menus. I have mine set up with three menus – one for quick-access apps, another for system utilities, and the last for a compass and level.

3. Cameras – if you had asked me to name the weak spot of previous Note devices, it would have been the cameras. They have always been good – just never competitive. With the Note 9 we got a good rear camera set, but the front camera was weak and got distorted very easily. Now we have a camera set that is competitive with the best from Apple, Google, and others on both the front and rear. The wide-angle camera will naturally distort the edges of an image unless correction is used – and the correction for wide-angle, portrait mode, and low light situations all work well. And while I wouldn’t say the Note 10 Plus offers the best current smartphone camera, neither did I ever see a reason to use either the Pixel 4 or iPhone 11 Pro instead.

4. DeX / PC Link – for years we had to connect our phones to our computers in order to transfer information such as images or music. Now our phones are so powerful that the screen is the limiting factor. Samsung’s DeX offers a USB-C conduit that runs apps on your phone and uses your computer display to view things. This can allow you to do simple things like typing text messages on your computer keyboard, or get better access to smartphone-only apps. At first, I thought it was a gimmick (especially on the Galaxy Tab 4 and 6), but now it is something I use almost every day!

5. S-Pen – in my opinion, there is no need for the Note without the S-Pen at this point. There are plenty of large screen, large battery phones with expandable storage, and while the Note always gets the latest and greatest new hardware, it is still the S-Pen that sets it apart. Over the last couple of years, we’ve seen the S-Pen go from a simple stylus to a paired controller to an active part of the device. You get sensitive positional recognition, button presses for control, and now air gestures for even more control. And while the utility of each of these features varies, the core stylus functionality has been refined and improved with each iteration and remains a key differentiating factor.

6. Performance – anyone who has ever built their own computer can tell you there is more to performance than just the CPU, and that is certainly true with smartphones as well. Not to keep picking on the Pixel 4, but it uses the same Snapdragon 855 SoC as the Note 10+ and putting them side-by-side you’d think the Pixel used a mid-range 7-series Snapdragon! Samsung has always had great strength in putting together excellent hardware (that used to be hampered with lousy software), and the Note 10+ continues that with stellar performance that blows away the already top-performing Note 9. I am sure the generous 12GB of RAM helps in terms of giving apps and the system extra breathing room, but before that could matter the company would have to get the fundamentals right – and they did. Months later, the Note 10+ still feels just as fresh as when it was brand new.

7. Battery Life – rounding out what I call the ‘Four Horsemen of the Note series’ aside from display, S-pen and performance, we have battery life. The Note 10+ has given me two-day battery life since I got it, which in practice meant that I seldom end the day with less than 50% power remaining. Even on days when I use the Note 10+ constantly from before dawn until late at night, I have never managed to get the phone under 30% battery in a single day.

8. Sound (Dolby Atmos) – paired up with stunning visuals and performance, the Note 10+ has a great audio system whether you are using headphones or listening through the stereo speakers. In the past, I found the Note series to have mediocre sound, but the Note 10+ has both hardware and software that deliver great sound for music, video, and games. The size of the body provides a resonant quality, and while the phone volume is loud it never loses clarity. The Note 10+ includes a Dolby Atmos software sound enhancement system which lets you customize the response. And suddenly the audio in the Note series is at least as good as any other flagship device.

9. Handwriting to Text – one of my all-time favorite gadgets was the Apple Newton MessagePad 2000, and I fell in love with its ability to deal with my sloppy penmanship. It might seem like a small thing, but as someone who uses the S-Pen every day, I love the ability to quickly jot down notes and then choose later if it is something I need to transcribe or just leave it as written text. Once you have transcribed your notes, they are traditional digital text that you can use the same way as any other text on your device.

10. Super-fast 45W charging – I have two wireless chargers – one at home and at work. Each is hooked to a high capacity charger, so I can easily unplug the wireless charger and get the Note 10+ charged up very quickly. Of course, because of the mammoth battery that is something I have only ever done a few times, but it is a great option to have.

11. Size & Weight – to put it into context, the Galaxy Note 10 Plus is roughly the same size as the Google Pixel 4XL in terms of dimensions and weight, but the screen is a half-inch larger on the Note 10+ due to lack of bezels and better space utilization. The Note series is the original ‘phablet’ and as such it is bound to be large, but now we are seeing it offer a huge screen, big battery, lots of cameras and S-Pen … all in a competitively sized package.

12. Expandable Storage – not long ago, SD card support was an iOS vs. Android differentiation. Now many Android phones (such as the Pixel and various Huawei devices) exclude expandable storage support – and while this is less of an issue as we move to more streaming and cloud support, the ability to have files on your SD card for access remains very useful in a number of settings. Since I use my Note 10+ for a variety of work functions, I have appreciated the quick access to encrypted files directly on my phone.

13. Customization – one of the key advantages of Android, in general, is the broad customization available in terms of launchers, defaults, and pretty much everything else. Samsung expands upon this in nearly every way. The notification menu has been tweaked for better quick access control, the S-pen control shortcuts all over the screen, side panels, customization and quick access in settings menus and so many more – whenever I want to do something I fend there are at least two or three ways to do it, each of which is more or less efficient depending on what I am currently doing, and often what you are doing is tunneling into the main settings controls through an app-specific setting. Contrast this with iOS where you need to access every setting through the settings app regardless of your current action.

In terms of negatives, things that typically come up are slower updates, the fingerprint reader, and the lack of a headphone jack. In terms of major OS updates, Samsung has definitely improved, with my Note 10+ getting the update by the end of 2019. But that is still nearly three months after the launch of the Pixel 4, and while Samsung’s own OneUI updates bridged the gap considerably, there is obviously further to go. In terms of the monthly updates, Samsung has been amazing – my Note 10+ has gotten updated before the Pixel 4 at least half the time over recent months (including the May update!), so I have no complaints there.

My fingerprints have always been an ‘easy read’, and I have never struggled with any reader (except the Note 8 where I constantly put my finger on the camera lens!), but I have still been impressed with the Note 10+ in-display reader. At first, it seemed a bit slow, but over the months it has become nearly instantaneous at recognizing me and unlocking the phone. As for the headphone jack, this was the subject of many heated debates when the Note 10+ was announced. On a phone as large as the Note it seems like a headphone jack would fit easily, but given the increase in the battery capacity took additional space, for me it was an easy trade. Then again, given that none of my current phones (Note 10+, Pixel 4, iPhone 11Pro) have headphone jacks, I have already adjusted to using either USB-C/Lightning cabled or Bluetooth earbuds.

I am not typically someone who uses a phone for more than 6 months – I’m more someone who will put a relatively new smartphone into pure ‘backup device’ mode while waiting for the ‘next great thing’ — to have a device still totally captivate me after nine months of daily use is unprecedented. But the Samsung Galaxy Note 10+ ticks so many key boxes for me – performance, multitasking, screen, optimized size, S-pen, and so on – that I have never found myself itching for a change. Sure I have used other phones – the Pixel is just inferior in every way so was easily put into ‘for reference use only’ mode; the iPhone fits into my personal life, although it lacks many of the professional tools I rely on every day. But since launch day 2019, the Note 10+ has been in my pocket, on my desk, hooked to my laptop, and otherwise my constant companion.

from Joseph Rushing https://geardiary.com/2020/05/13/nine-months-with-samsung-galaxy-note-10-my-12-favorite-things/