#(inflicting the abuse they experienced on other ppl. healing very nonlinearly. actively refusing and resisting help.

[cream-and-tea]

SORRY for doing even more pallasposting (<- not actually sorry) but a fun thing about planning for the rest of the gravespeaker trilogy is the realization that pallas actually gets much more bitchy as they start 2 heal. bc like. for most of the the first book they are doing Dissociation Station Level 9000 they are doing “brain fog is to light a term it’s like silent hill in here” they are doing ego death speedrun they are so disconnected from themself that they interpret literally every single emotion they feel as negative because the act of Feeling itself is so wildly uncomfortable that they react to it like a hypothermia victim being dunked into boiling water (<- dying). and all of that goes a long way towards making it hard to express their personality which—crucially—includes the fact that they r annoying. so fucking annoying. absolutely irritating. ungodly petty and spiteful. a hater to their CORE. pallas self actualizing and using everything they’ve learned and how they’ve grown to be a little bastard at a level previously unseen by man they don’t even NEED the horrifying bloodflesh magic anymore they can just enter every fight like “your coat is ugly your shoes are tacky your parents must have never loved you or else they would have taught you the meaning of fuck around and find out you fucked around cutting those bangs and now you’re gonna find out” and kill their opponents that way instead ❤️