#(i can always redo if it's too vague)

[hard-core-super-star]

redo the prophecy [L.Calderu]

pairing: lilia calderu x vampire!reader

summary: when demons from your past start chasing you again, you end up with the one person you can always count on...even if being with you puts her in danger.

warnings: hurt/comfort; mentions of blood but nothing super graphic; neck kisses + bites; longing; allusions to sex but nothing explicit; exes who clearly don't want to be exes anymore; not proofread

wordcount: 2.7k

a/n: someone stop letting me start a new series when i'm in the middle of working on other ones 😅 i couldn't help it, my hand slipped and now i'm invested. believe it or not, there's actually worldbuilding this time! the vampire stuff works very similarly to First Kill but if you're not familiar/confused with any aspect, feel free to send me an ask, i'd love to talk about it! anyway, the next part will be smut with feelings so keep your eyes peeled for that. for now, hope you enjoy <3

* * * * * * *

The bright sign in the window clashes with the dark storm clouds moving overhead. The rain had soaked through your coat at some point but the cold barely bothered you at this point. The real issue was the searing pain in your side and the seemingly endless cars driving down every street your feet took you to.

Truly, it shouldn't have been surprising that the only place your mind could think of going would be here. Madame Calderu's.

Even in the pouring rain, the outside is stunning. The blinds are drawn just enough for you to see inside. To catch a glimpse of the candles and seemingly endless vintage books on old shelves.

Somehow, swallowing your pride is the most difficult part. You stand outside the door like a lost puppy for at least five minutes, mentally debating whether to actually come in or not.

You don't want to admit it but ultimately, your precarious situation won over whatever pretenses you had.

The door creaks as you push inside with a heavy sigh. You're not even fully inside when Lilia steps out from behind a curtain of colorful beads. The subtle furrow of her brows lets you know she hadn't been expecting you.

Good to know you could still surprise her.

"So, it seems Dracula has a heart after all," she says, stopping a few feet away from you, hand on her hip like a disappointed girlfriend.

The thought makes your heart clench but you ignore it. You roll your eyes, leaning against the door to hide your limping. "Shut up. You know how I feel about that guy."

She waves her hand dismissively but the soft look in her eyes betrays her. Her eyes have always spoken louder than any other part of her, those brown depths far too real to be contained. "What are you doing here?"

"What do you think?" You respond, vaguely gesturing to your injured side.

"You're being hunted again." It's not a question, she says it like she knows. Like she can somehow see exactly what kind of trouble you've wrapped yourself into this time. "But that still doesn't answer my question."

It takes all your strength to not roll your eyes at her. Instead, you push off the door and start walking deeper into the store, your eyes sweeping across all the different knick-knacks she has for sale.

"Don't act like you don't have runes stacked on runes inside this place."

Your light accusation makes her laugh, and the corners of your lips twitch up into a smile in response to the sweet sound.

"A woman can never be too cautious."

Your feet carry you over to the older woman despite your hesitations. Ironically, the blood loss is starting to get to you but that only makes your stomach hurt and your fangs ache.

"Maybe I should take a page out of your book," you complain as the room spins on its axis.

Lilia's hands hold you upright, the furrow in her brows making itself known once again. "Come on, you can hardly stand."

If the pain wasn't overwhelming your mind, you might have allowed yourself to sink into her touch. It had been years since you'd been this close to her. Countless nights spent thinking of her, wishing you could go back to her.

You never thought your reunion would be like this.

"Are you asking or telling me?"

Your joke doesn't land and it earns you a quick smack to the shoulder. "Insolent fool."

The familiarity of the action makes you smile and you suddenly can't tell if the weakness in your knees comes from being close to the witch or the blood loss. It's hard to tell and before you know it, she's sitting you down on the couch.

The comfort of the cushion calls to you, your eyes drooping closed before you can stop them.

That earns you another swat. "Don't you dare pass out on me."

"I'm already injured, Lilia, you don't have to keep hitting me."

She huffs as she rummages through her cabinets. "Yes, I do. I'm far too old to be stressing so much about you."

Even though you know where her complaints are truly coming from, you prefer not to think about it too much. Injuries first, complicated past and feelings later. "Ouch?"

Lilia doesn't reply and you busy yourself with removing your blood-soaked shirt. Whatever new weapons the Guild is using now are far too effective. You briefly miss the days of silver knives and crosses.

"So, are you going to tell me what happened to you?"

The question shouldn't be surprising considering the situation, and the danger, but it still makes you groan. The last thing you want to do is explain anything, much less how you almost died to a monster hunter. "Do I have to?"

She hums as she approaches you, a first-aid kit in her hands. "I guess not. But it would be nice to know if I'm on someone's watchlist."

You sit up and wince, which tells you everything you need to know about how the next few minutes will go. "You're always on the Guild's watchlist. You're what they call a wildcard."

Lilia approaches with far more softness than she should and settles beside you. This time, her eyebrows reveal to you how bad your injury looks. "I don't think they're the only ones who would say that. I'm a covenless witch."

"With a history of helping both vampires and humans," you point out as you shift closer, giving her access to your bleeding side. "They don't know who you're truly allied to."

Her eyes meet yours and for a second, you wonder if you're wrong. If she chose a side long before you found your way back to her. "They've been trying to recruit me, you know? Help them make better weapons and such."

A pained chuckle leaves you. "I don't think they need help with that."

She hums before putting on her glasses and preparing to disinfect the area. That seems to be the end of the conversation for the moment, so you busy yourself with taking deep breaths and not looking like a complete wuss by groaning in pain every few seconds.

Thankfully, there are tons of things to look out, lots of trinkets scattered everywhere and loose witchy decorations. The countless decks of tarot cards catch your attention as she gets to work patching you up.

It's easier said than done, especially when she starts poking around the hole the enchanted knife left behind. All she does is start disinfecting your skin and you already start squirming. You wait for her to scold you but she doesn't so the task of staying still lands squarely on you.

Somehow, you manage. Maybe part of it comes from having her hands on you again despite the situation. You should hate it but…you can't deny how good it is to be in her presence.

Almost as if reading your mind, her hands speed up. You can't really complain because it means you get through the painful part quickly (albeit with lots of groans and distracting, mumbled, curse words) and before you know it, she's bandaging your side.

"You're still a fool, you know that?" Lilia says, almost like an after-thought. "What mess did you get yourself into this time?"

"You don't want to know," you respond, trying to deflect again. "Just more of the usual. Hunters with a grudge and vampires who don't know better than to listen to my family's lies."

She sits back up, her eyes slowly trailing back up to yours. "Lies? So, you didn't betray them after failing your First Kill ceremony?"

"Oh, shut up." You huff. "That's the least of my worries right now."

The words make her eyebrows raise and for a moment, you remember better days spent trailing your fingers over every inch of her face, examining every contour and figuring out what made her react in what way.

You force yourself to sit up before you can get too carried away, your hand digging into your pant pocket and pulling out your trusty pill pouch. If the witch recognizes it, she doesn't say anything and you groan as you come up empty. "Fuck…I'm out of pills."

Lilia snorts. "You sound older than me, darling."

"That's low."

Even though you want to look at her, you force yourself to stare straight ahead, the ache in your stomach growing deeper. Clearly, the pain you thought was coming from your injury had another meaning all along.

Of course, using simple blood pills to replace your overwhelming thirst for human blood wasn't the best way of going about fixing your seemingly never-ending hunger but it was much better than the alternative. You hated drinking from humans, hated the animalistic side of you that wanted to hunt and drink and kill.

As you grumble to yourself over your unfortunate situation, Lilia finally seems to catch up to your words. "Hold on, why are you using pills again? Aren't they bad for you?"

"They're better than the alternative," you reply. "It's like I'm a fucking teenager again, can't control myself."

Judging by the sharp look the older woman sends you, she doesn't think the same. "So you're starving yourself? How is that any better, y/n?"

"I'm not starving myself, that's what the pills are for," you counter.

Lilia sighs and you somehow feel scolded just from the sound. "You never learn, do you?"

Her words could mean a handful of things so you merely shrug and pretend to care much less than you do about being here with her. About the way her scent, herbal and sweet like lavender and honey, fills your nose. The ache inside you that only she can fix.

You force yourself to rise to your feet, your vision swimming for a second as all your pain blends together. Coming here was a bad idea and you know it.

It's like you can't escape her or the flickers of memories that her eyes bring out of you. That sinking feeling you get when you remember why you can't be here. Why you left in the first place.

"y/n." You're not sure when she got up but she's behind you now. Warm hands encompass your waist. "Why are you in such a rush? Sit back down, we'll figure it out."

Her words do little to ease the guilt you've been carrying for what feels like centuries. "We can't. Lilia, I…I can't be here. You know it's not safe."

Her grip on you tightens and before you know it, she's turning you around, those same soft eyes staring through you. "I'm not going to let you walk out again."

Oh, how you wish it were that simple. That you didn't know the things you did. That you didn't carry the weight and guilt and shame you do.

"Don't give me that," you say. "Don't act like you don't know why I had to leave."

That seems to get her attention. You almost want to kick yourself for the way her face changes. It's like you can see her walls building themselves back up in real time. "I don't know what you're talking about."

You try to stop yourself from scoffing but you can't. The disbelief spilling from your lips without a full thought. "What did you see? The night before I left, what did you see?"

The way her eyebrows shoot up tells you everything you need to know.

"y/n, I-"

"Exactly."

You don't even want to hear what she has to say. Explanations that don't hold any meaning. Not when you had the same vision she did. Perks of being a Legacy and all that.

Or maybe it was your bond that was responsible for that.

Lilia studies you for a second, her grip on you not allowing much movement. Hell, even if you wanted to move, you wouldn't. Not with the way you're swaying.

"Listen," she starts. "We can play the blame game all night or you can let me finish helping you. Believe it or not, I'd rather not be responsible for your death."

The chuckle you let out is more bitter than anything else. "Don't you know it's already written that you will be?"

One of her hands moves up to cup your face, her touch far more tender than it has any right to be. You lean into the touch before you can stop yourself.

"Darling, I wouldn't have gotten to this age if I'd listened every time something told me I was going to die."

You sigh, knowing you won't be winning this fight. "You're such a piece of work, Lilia."

"Look who's talking. A vampire who hates blood? It's a wonder you're still here."

All she gets from you is a grumble.

Well, a grumble and two incredibly focused eyes zeroing in on her neck. It doesn't matter how hard you try to rein yourself in, the hunger makes your head spin, your thoughts spiraling until all that's left are the veins on the side of the witch's neck.

"My eyes are up here, you know?" She teases, her smirk all-knowing. "Why don't you stop making yourself suffer and just take what you need?"

It would be easier to lie or deflect with a joke but you're far too tired to keep fighting. Especially when the pull between you only grows stronger with every second you spend together.

"I don't want to lose control," you whisper as you move closer. "I can't hurt you again."

"You won't." Her words are so sure, you don't even dare question her. "I trust you."

Your hands shake as you hold her close, leaning down to nuzzle her neck. The feeling of her skin against your mouth makes your heart skip a beat and you barely manage to stop yourself from sinking your fangs into her.

You will but you want to savor having her in your arms before you do it.

Kisses get littered to the older woman's neck, your tongue trailing along the prominent vein you find as you allow her to fill all your senses. It's incredible how much you ache for her, how even your fangs start hurting from holding back.

"Do it, sweetheart," she murmurs, one hand cradling the back of your head and holding you against her. "Take what you need."

You can't hold back after that.

Instead, your mouth moves on its own and your fangs sink down into her vein. The sound of her gasp fills your ears but you pay it no mind. You can't think, you can't breathe, all you can do is take in gulps of her blood.

It's desperate and messy and reminds you of the many nights you spent buried like this somewhere else but more than anything, it's ecstacy.

You can feel her trembling against you, her form growing weaker as you drink. The thought lingers in your mind but you can't stop yet. Not until the pain in your stomach disappears.

"y/n," Lilia whispers, the hand in your hair tightening. "I'm going to, ah- need you to stop soon."

The words register in your brain but even then, you don't pay them much mind. You're not sure if she's simply that sweet or if her magic lingers even in her blood. All you know is you can't get enough of her.

At least, until the fingers in your hair start pulling and your fear of hurting her maximizes.

As much as you hate to admit it, she was right. You could never hurt her. Even the monster inside of you can agree to that.

You force yourself to pull away from her neck, your fangs retracting as the bite mark closes. You've never been able to figure out if it's her magic or yours that causes it but it doesn't matter.

Once you lean back, your arms wrap around her waist, holding her up as your strength returns and hers dwindles. You move her back toward the couch without a word, lying down before easing her on top of you.

"Was this your plan all along?" You question as you get comfortable beneath her.

"I think it was yours," she quips with a breathless laugh.

"Yeah, that sounds about right."

Slowly, as if no time has passed at all, your bodies mold together. Your arms remain wrapped around her waist as she tucks her face into your neck.

For all the flaws that come with your vampirism, at least you clean up quick. Then again, she's so drained, you doubt she'd care if you had her blood dripping onto her.

"You should get some rest," you whisper. "We'll talk tomorrow?"

All she does is hum and you already know her eyes must be drooping. Stubborn as ever, though, she fights against it. "I suppose. Unless you're planning on running again?"

"No." The word slips out easily. Not quite a promise but still heavy. "Not yet, anyway. I'll figure something out."

"We'll figure it out," she corrects you.

"We sure will," you mumble even though you're not completely convinced.

Even now, with her tucked against you, your body thrums, urging you to move, to keep running before you're hunted again. It's not like running ever brought anything good, though.

At least here, in the comfort of Lilia's weird little shop, you can be together.

If only for the night.

[chaos-interwoven]

aftg floor plans

not that anyone asked but the way my brain works means that any time i read anything, i am piecing together every room, every house, and every space. i need to create an image in my head so i can see the characters in it and see how they interact with the space. except it’s always vague and sometimes a throw-away line places a window or a wall where i didn’t think it was and i have to redo the entire space in my head…… it’s a struggle but after so many times rereading aftg, i have a pretty solid idea

this is just a long way of saying i have decided to take what’s in my head and make it into reality and i have made floor plans for aftg lol

so far, i have done the foxes’ dorm (both how i think the entire floor is laid out and each of their three rooms), wymack’s apartment, and abby’s house. i plan on doing the cali places later, don’t even worry

of course tumblr is corrupting the quality but in my head there are five rooms to each side of the hall and the stairs are right next to the monsters' room. that stray white box is an elevator supposedly.... i had no idea how or where the elevator should be so i just kinda threw it there, don't laugh. and we know the soccer kids live on their floor so they have the rooms across the hall

i placed everything based on descriptions gathered from the first four books (thank you jean for telling us they do in fact have stoves even if they are just two burners). i gave kevin's desk an extra monitor to watch games on lol and andrew has to be by a window to smoke out of it. also, the beds are bunked. i know this looks big but it was hard to get the spacing right..........

for the girls, i mirrored the monsters' room because i know that piping tends to make apartments laid out so kitchens or bathrooms are back to back with your neighbors. they also get a fancy extra chair and a bigger tv bc allison is rich and you can't tell me their room wouldn't have the nicest furniture. i feel like dan would have the bottom bunk, renee the top, and allison the lone lofted bed but that's just me lol

we know matt and neil shoved their three desks by the windows and in my head, matt and neil's bunk is on the left while seth's lofted bed is on the right. and matt and neil have their dressers underneath seth's bed and his is by the window

this was actually interesting because we know that the front door is out of sight from the doorway of the study and that there are windows in the living room so i put in this turn to the hall. again, the space looks huge here but that's mainly because i didn't want to have to shrink and rearrange all the walls over and over again

abby's was the hardest by far. i went back and scoured the books for more information about her house because i was struggling and have struggled with it since my first read through. we know that there is a doorway to the kitchen (so i couldn't give her the open floor plan i wanted) and that the bedroom jean stayed in was just down the hall from the bathroom. i ended up giving abby her own master bath just because i felt like it but i have no idea if that is canon. and the hall bath seemed too large so i put in a laundry room randomly but whatever. we also know she has a two car driveway so i made the shape of the house a little funky. and in my head, during summer break aaron and nicky stay in one bedroom and andrew and kevin are in the other one. i put kandrew in the bedroom down the hall because it is farther from the front door and andrew would like that imo. that is also the bedroom jean is in after renee takes him from evermore. and of course she needed a huge dining room table to fit everyone

ANYWAY, if you made it this far i am surprised and thank you for entertaining this. i can also share all the passages i used to piece together these floor plans cause they are all bookmarked but that felt like too much to include here and i doubt anyone cares. feel free to debate wall placements in the comments, i would love to talk to you about it as you can probably tell

and if literally anyone is interested, i can and will make these in the sims and then they will be real cute and colorful floor plans. i will probably do it anyway for my own enjoyment but whether i post them is up in the air

pt. 2 pt. 3 (cali)

[aesethewitch]

Divination Troubleshooting

One of the more difficult aspects of divination, I think, is working out what to do when things don’t work the way they’re supposed to. When you’ve done everything technically right, there’s a chance you still won’t get answers that you can interpret, that make sense, or that are correct. If you have an occasional problem with divination, that’s totally normal — nothing will work 100% of the time. But when it happens consistently, it might be time to do a little troubleshooting.

This post is far from a complete list of possible problems. I’ve spent many years trying (and failing at) different forms of divination, so these are things I’ve personally run into and the things I consider when troubleshooting.

The basic format of this post is the form of problem, a short description of what the problem looks like, possible causes for the problem, and multiple suggested solutions for each cause. These recommendations are fairly general and non-exhaustive. You may find that you need to employ multiple solutions before the problem resolves, and you may find that none of these proposed solutions solve the issue you’re having. Some listed problems are specific to a particular tool, but most are applicable to more than one type.

Sometimes, determining the cause of your issue can be difficult. It can take a good amount of discernment to figure out, so don’t feel discouraged if you can’t fix the problem on the first try!

Unclear Answers

You’ve drawn your cards, cast your charms, selected your runes, and… it makes no sense, or maybe the answers you receive are too vague to be useful.

Cause: Lack of practice or familiarity with the tool Solutions:

Perform practice readings with the tool

Study the guidebook, if you have one, to determine whether there are additional meanings to glean

Look up potential alternate meanings to the individual cards/runes, or consider another perspective (Three of Swords not always meaning heartbreak, for example)

Ask for a second opinion by taking a picture of the reading and sending it to like-minded practitioners who would be willing to help you interpret

Request a reading from a more seasoned diviner to confirm the information you’re able to glean from your own reading (if you do this, I would suggest letting them know that you’re seeking clarity from a divination you did for yourself)

Cause: No thoughts, head empty (brain fog, sudden blanking, fatigue, etc.) Solutions:

Set it aside and come back to it later with fresh eyes

Do grounding or energizing exercises before redoing the divination

Take care of your mundane needs (drink water, eat something, sleep, take medicines, go outside/get fresh air, etc.) and then return to it

Ask for a second opinion

Write down what you can understand and return to it later to check your interpretation and/or reinterpret it

Cause: The question was poorly worded, or you’re asking the wrong question Solutions:

Reword the question

Ask a different question related to the situation

Consider whether the answer given is to another question or another facet of the situation

Ask the tool, spirits, deities, etc. what you should be focusing on, if not the question you’re asking

Ask follow-up questions to clarify specifics

Cause: The tool isn’t suited to the question you’re asking Solutions:

Try a different tool

Reword the question to suit the tool better

Request a reading from someone else (if you only use one type of tool)

Cause: Stagnant energy is lingering on or around the tool Solutions:

Cleanse the tool and any containers you keep the tool in

Reshuffle, shake, etc. thoroughly before attempting to divine again

Allow the tool to “rest” so it can “cool off” and lose some of the stuck-on energy

Cause: Missing context or information Solutions:

Write down what you can understand for now and come back in a few days/weeks to see if it makes more sense

Walk away and come back to it in an hour to see if new details come to mind

Work on phrasing your questions to account for information you don’t actively know

Cause: One single card is standing out, not meshing with the rest of the reading Solutions:

Let the querent know it’s a confusing card, explain what it typically means, and allow them to offer clarification or possible meanings to it

Decide ahead of time what you will do with cards like this and what they could possibly mean, so that when they come up, you can seamlessly deal with them

Disregard the rogue card entirely

Allow the card to stand on its own, almost like a separate reading within the existing reading; redraw for the position if doing a spread

Consider alternative or unorthodox meanings to the card, especially if it’s in an odd position in a spread:

The card may be referring to another question or situation; if so, set it aside and consider doing a separate divination with that card as a focus

The card may indicate a particular person; determine who it may be and what their impact is on the overall situation

The card may be a message from a spirit, related or unrelated to the situation; set it aside and consider doing a separate divination to see the full message

The card may indicate an unexpected element, upheaval, discomfort, or mismatched priorities; the interpretation largely depends on the card and position

Wrong Answers

You thought you had it, but the divination ended up being completely wrong. One time is normal, but consistently very wrong divinations are less so.

Cause: Lack of practice or familiarity with the tool Solutions:

Perform practice readings, either with actual questions, hypothetical scenarios, or no prompt at all to work on weaving meanings together and identifying messages/symbolism

Ask others if you can practice your divination with them to get more practical experience

Study the guidebook (if there is one) or other guides and articles on the tool to determine whether you missed a meaning, theme, or detail that would have made the reading more accurate

Study how you asked the question, performed the divination, and interpreted the output to see what may have gone wrong, if anything

Cause: The tool you’re using isn’t suited to you Solutions:

Try a different type of tool

If using tarot or oracle cards, try a deck with different imagery

If using tarot, try a deck based on a different system (Thoth vs. Rider-Waite-Smith, for example)

Cause: You’ve asked the same question too many times in a short period, and now the readings are so muddied nothing is accurate Solutions:

Take a break from divining on the question or topic

Consider the answers you’ve already gotten and determine which is the likeliest to be true (or untrue)

Ask a different question

Cause: Misleading or incorrect phrasing and information from the querent Solutions:

Clarify the situation with the querent

Before beginning the divination, let the querent know that they need to be honest with you or results may not be correct

Rephrase the question or prompt to be more honest about the situation

Cause: Blockages or disruption between you and the divination target Solutions:

Ask the querent to temporarily allow you through their protections

Cast a spell to break through the barrier/blockage before trying the divination again (note that if the barrier is a purposeful protection against prying eyes, there may be consequences to busting through)

Request spirit assistance with breaking through the blockage

Ground yourself and clear away any blockages or reluctance within yourself to see and understand the truth

Accept that the target person doesn’t want you divining about them

Cause: The question was poorly worded for the tool you’re using Solutions:

Try a different tool better suited to the type of question you’re asking (pendulums for yes/no, magpie oracle for general life readings, tarot for advice, etc.)

Reword the question to suit the tool

Practice asking better divination questions overall (proper wording, understanding the tool’s capabilities, etc.)

Conflicting Answers

When you do separate readings on the same topic and get different answers, it can be confusing! Which one do you believe? Which will actually come true?

Cause: You’ve asked the same question too many times Solutions:

 Take a break from divining on the topic or question

Consider the answers you’ve already gotten and determine which is the likeliest to be true (or untrue)

Ask something else, either relating to the situation or not

Cause: Circumstances have changed radically since you last divined on the situation Solutions:

Divine on what’s changed and how it’s caused the shift

If the change is undesirable, ask how you can get back on track to the future you want

Compare the readings to see if you can determine the links between them

Cause: The future is mutable, and there are separate, very different possibilities branching out around the situation Solutions:

Divine about the causes of each outcome already gathered to see what’s causing the vast difference in readings

If there are many people involved, do smaller, more specific divinations to determine their impact on the future

Accept that you may not get to know the future perfectly

Ask instead how you can attain the future you actually want, rather than what may happen

Always Exhausted Afterwards

After doing divination, you feel absolutely drained of energy. Whether that’s physical, emotional, or spiritual energy, when it happens often, it can be discouraging and make you want to never do divination again!

Cause: Your energy is depleting naturally Solutions:

Do smaller divinations

Only perform one divination in a single sitting, rather than attempting several back to back

Request assistance from spirits to boost your own energy or borrow theirs for the reading

Eat a nourishing meal beforehand and have a snack afterwards

Cause: The querent, tool, spirits, etc., involved are draining your energy Solutions:

Bolster your area’s protections with a focus on keeping your energy to yourself

Wear something like a veil or other protective clothing, jewelry, or accessories during the divination to prevent the drain

Do a grounding exercise beforehand to center your focus and keep your energy to yourself

Pause the divination if you start feeling yourself draining to refresh and protect your energy

If working with spirits which are draining you as part of a deal (whether spoken or unspoken), make a physical offering instead of an energetic one

Practice energy work to learn how to better contain your energy so that it isn’t as free for the taking

Cause: You didn’t have the energy to begin with, but divined anyways Solutions:

Request a reading from a trusted source

Seek ways to boost your energy before beginning

Take care of your mundane needs before performing divination (eat something, drink water, take a nap, get some fresh air)

Spirits Aren’t Coming Through or Assisting

You’ve invited spirits to the table, but it doesn’t seem like they’ve got a hand in the divination results you’re getting.

Cause: You haven’t made an offering equivalent in value to what you’re asking for Solutions:

Set out an offering before starting if you haven’t already

Determine what the spirits might want other that what you’ve already offered

Offer something more personalized to the particular spirit

Make a sacrifice, rather than a simple offering (give up the last cookie, lay a piece of meaningful jewelry on their altar, etc.)

Cause: The spirits think you aren’t ready to know the answers you’re looking for Solutions:

Seek answers from another source

Wait a while and try again later

Ask a different question

Cause: The spirits you’re trying to contact aren’t immediately available/answering Solutions:

Call on the spirits before you start divining and let them know what you’re doing and why

Perform the divination at their sacred space, if possible

If working in an animist sense, “wake up” or “activate” your deck’s spirit in some way before beginning (knocking, speaking to it, etc.)

Cause: Another spirit is interrupting Solutions:

Ask the intruding spirit to back off (for now or forever, that’s up to you)

Perform a banishing if the spirit is unwelcome and will not leave when asked

Find out what the interrupting spirit wants and either decline or fulfill their request

End the divination and come back to it later on

Pendulum Won’t Swing Consistently

The pendulum swings willy-nilly with little to no rhyme or reason, providing no clear answers.

Cause: The cord, chain, string, or other material isn’t long enough Solutions:

Replace it with a longer cord, chain, string, etc.

Use a different pendulum

Create your own pendulum using a length of string (or twine, etc.) and a crystal, stone, pendant, coin, or other relatively heavy item

Cause: The pendulum itself isn’t heavy enough, or it’s an uneven shape Solutions:

Replace the pendulum with a pointed stone, crystal, or piece of glass Thread other, heavier beads, charms, crystals, stones, etc., onto the pendulum’s cord/chain

Cause: Your source for answers isn’t working with you Solutions:

If working based on your own intuition, do a grounding exercise and try again

If working with spirits, make an offering or see whether the spirits are present before trying again

Cause: There’s a breeze making it swing Solutions:

Wait until the wind dies down

Move indoors to try again

Close windows, turn off fans, and turn off air conditioners in the immediate area

Cause: The energy in your area is causing interference Solutions:

Perform a cleansing of the area to clear out excess energy

Banish any rogue spirits hanging around who are messing with the pendulum on purpose

Perform a ritual to calm the energy around you, like soothing a storm or lulling the wind to sleep for the duration of your divination

Keep Dropping Cards

Dropping your whole deck of cards may be an issue with grip strength, clumsiness, or joint bendiness… or, it may be a sign of an underlying issue or message.

Cause: The deck is too large or cumbersome to hold and shuffle easily Solutions:

Try another, smaller deck of tarot cards

Try a deck with standard card shapes (round or very large cards are personally super hard to shuffle neatly)

Ignore jumping or dropped cards, and only take cards you consciously draw

Cause: The shuffle itself is difficult Solutions:

Try another method of shuffling

Practice shuffling with regular playing cards, then with the deck you want to be using (this makes a fun fidget while watching shows)

If all shuffling is difficult, spread out the cards on a flat surface and mix them together before putting them back into a pile and drawing accordingly

Cause: The spirit(s) you’re communicating with don’t want to provide answers right now Solutions:

Provide an offering or payment for services rendered (especially if you haven’t in a while)

Take a break and try again later

Investigate the root cause of their reluctance and plan accordingly

Never Feels “Right” to Stop Shuffling or to Pull a Card

You’re shuffling. And shuffling. And… shuffling. You’re waiting for a sign to stop and pull cards, and it just never comes.

Cause: Your brain and/or intuitive thinking is exhausted Solutions:

Take a break from divination and other magical practices

Do a grounding exercise to reconnect with your intuitive thoughts and try again

Replenish your energy by eating something, drinking water, having a nap, and otherwise taking care of your mundane needs before trying again

Cause: You aren’t meant to know the answer to the question you’ve asked Solutions:

Ask a different, related question to see if you can get answers

Try again in a few days

Try a different divination tool (different tools can provide different answers with varying levels of detail)

Failing troubleshooting, accept that you can’t know everything that’s ahead and simply plan accordingly (magically and mundanely)

Cause: Blockage between you and the target of the question Solutions:

Cast a spell to break through the barrier/blockage before trying the divination again (note that if the barrier is a purposeful protection against prying eyes, there may be consequences to busting through)

Determine whether there are missing details about the situation that may help break through

Request spirit intervention to get around the blockage

Ground yourself and clear away any blockages or reluctance within yourself to see and understand the truth

Accept that the target person doesn’t want you to divine about them

If the reading is about a situation, a spell of “true seeing” or clarity may help

Cause: The querent isn’t being fully honest about their question (misleading phrasing, leaving out information that would impact the reading) Solutions:

Clarify the situation with the querent

If divining for yourself, consider all facets of the situation and question before rewording it more clearly and honestly

Talk or journal about the situation before beginning to get as much information as possible

Cause: The spirits you rely on for divination have declined to provide answers Solutions:

Ask why they aren’t answering

Try again later

Try another divination tool

Use another source for answers, such as the universe on the whole or your own deeper intuitive self

Reword the question to be more specific or general, depending

Cause: Something about the cards or shuffle themselves isn’t right Solutions:

Try another shuffle/pull method (spread out cards and pull at random, create piles and take the top of each, etc.)

Try a different deck of cards

Try another type of divination tool

Give the deck a cleanse

Look for a way to “wake up” or “activate” the cards

Too Many Jumpers

Even if you read tarot like I do with all jumpers, having a ton of cards leap out at once can be daunting — and even annoying, if it keeps happening consistently.

Cause: Your deck is too large for your hands, or it’s an odd shape (circular, non-standard number of cards, above-average card size, thick card stock) Solutions:

Try a deck with fewer cards or a more standard shape and paper weight

Create your own deck of cards that fits more securely in your hands

Try a digital deck of cards

Disregard jumping cards completely and only accept cards you’re pulling on purpose

Cause: More possibilities or details about the situation need to be brought to light than expected Solutions:

Try another spread to accommodate the jumpers

Ditch the spread altogether and read the cards as they fall instead

Treat the jumping cards as amendments or extra information about the card whose position you’re drawing for (for example, if drawing for a “Self” position and you get two jumpers before pulling your card in your usual fashion, the two jumpers modify the Official Card)

Cause: Spirits are interfering with the reading Solutions:

Cleanse the area or banish the offending spirits if they’re not ones you’ve welcomed into the space

Request that they chill the heck out and not throw any (or as many) jumping cards

Make an offering to quell their mischief

Pay attention to why they’re acting this way; if you’re not sure, ask for their reasons

Applicable to Now, Not Later

Your reading describes your situation as it is right now with perfect clarity, but it doesn’t reveal anything new or give insights into the future.

Cause: Your current talent lies in revealing the present Solutions:

Practice with readings explicitly about the immediate future

Practice targeting a specific moment in the future, such as a particular future month’s events

Fine-tune your questions to specifically request information you don’t know

Employ spirits or deities to expand your abilities to encompass the future

Try another tool or supplement your reading with another tool

Cause: The question or prompt is too open or general Solutions:

Ask a more specific, carefully worded question

Ask what you mean, rather than a general question around the situation (“What do I need to know about my relationship with X?” vs. “What do I need to know about my love life?”)

Cause: There will be little to no change in the timeframe you’re asking about Solutions:

Expand the range of time you’re asking about

Choose a time further in the future (next year instead of next month, for example)

Make an active choice to change the future if you’re dissatisfied with things as they appear to be now

Can’t Get into the “Right Headspace” for Divination

You’ve sat down and have your tools ready, but you just can’t get into the zone.

Cause: Your environment is distracting Solutions:

Move to a quieter location where you can focus more

Perform a grounding exercise to shut out distractions and focus on your divination

Wear headphones and play music that will help you focus (I suggest unobtrusive music without lyrics, so that it doesn’t impact your interpretations; personally, I use crackly fireside sounds over lo-fi beats)

Cause: Your environment isn’t inspiring you to get into the right headspace Solutions:

Create a space specifically for performing divination, whether permanent or temporary

Curate an aesthetic for your divination space with candles, crystals, plants, divination cloths, and other things that are meaningful to you

Go for a walk in a place that does inspire you and perform a divination there, if possible (cemeteries, parks, museums, rivers, etc.); if not possible to do divination there, absorb as much of the inspiring energy as you can and carry it back to your divination location

Cause: You don’t have the energy for it right now Solutions:

Focus on replenishing your energy with food, water, sleep, and other self-care tasks before divining

Request assistance from spirits to boost or borrow energy

Request a divination from someone else

Cause: You just aren’t in the mood for it Solutions:

Create a ritual that will help you get into your desired headspace for divination (putting on specific accessories, preparing your space, calling on spirits, etc.)

Request a divination from someone else

Walk away and come back to it when you feel more motivated

Scroll through others’ divination posts, watch a video, or listen to a podcast to get inspired to do your own divination

Conclusion

Again, there are countless possible issues and even further countless possible solutions to those issues. In general, walking away for a while, having a rest, practicing asking questions, and becoming more familiar with your tool over time will be the best tools in your belt. And if you can’t find a solution on your own, there’s no shame in crowdsourcing ideas for fixes! Ask your friends, your favorite witchy blogger, your Discord servermates, make a public post for others to comment on, or otherwise reach out. The best ideas often come from conversation.

Feel free to drop questions in the reblogs, replies, or my ask box if you’d like to ask me in particular about your divination troubles! I’m always happy to help out where I can. And if I’ve got no clue, one of my followers or mutuals might have a thought to share!

If you enjoyed this post or my other work, consider tossing a couple dollars in my tip jar! (And check out my commissions for custom spellwork and tarot readings!) Everything goes toward keeping me and my partner afloat on our bills, so it’s very much appreciated!

[weirdsht]

Disillusioned 12 . Henituse

a/n: eating a lot of shellfish for my anemia made me feel better but everyone around me says I'm still pale asf T-T also ngl I don't the way I wrote this chapter but I'm too sick to redo it sorry huhu

tags: very vague hints of abuse near before the end

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read pinned)

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Days pass and it’s now mid-November. To others, it just signifies the start of winter. Signifies the extreme cold that’s about to come. 

For Cale’s group and the Whale Tribe, it signifies the start of battle. Signifies that they must now obliterate Arm’s First Battle Brigade.

Where does _____ fit in all of this?

Besides Cale, that’s where.

After their talk, the healer became practically glued to Cale with the man saying all kinds of reasons to take them everywhere.

In this particular case, his excuse is that they need to have a healer in case of an emergency.

Hannah snorted at the blatant excuse curated by the young master.

What makes it funnier for her is how after insisting they need a healer, Cale just went ahead and gave everyone potions after the battle.

“Why are you giving me a potion? I thought that little healer of yours didn’t have purification powers, I’m sure they can heal me.”

Cale frowns as if it’s a sin to even mention _____.

“_____ is still at the ship. I can’t have them out of commission so early so make do with the potions.”

“Human you’re lying again! I definitely heard you say on the way here that kind _____ shouldn’t see such a messy sight!”

As Raon spoke in his mind Hannah also burst out laughing.

This made the redhead turn around to leave. His frown etching deeper into his face as the two unknowingly gang up on him.

Everything goes smoothly. 

Of course it does, Cale’s planning is always top-notch.

They managed to win against Arm’s First Brigade. They managed to take the remaining ships, Cale also managed to get permission from his father to let the Tiger Tribe stay in Harris Village.

But Cale is still not happy.

This is because he has to go to the empire. A place where the Sun God’s church influence is strong. The one place he can’t take _____ to.

It’s dangerous if someone, like a priest, discovers who they are. It’s still too early to let _____ back out into the world. Too early for them to fight their battles.

So when Count Deruth asked Cale if _____ could stay at the Henituse castle he allowed it. He may not be sure why his father is asking for the healer but he knows nothing bad would happen. It would also be a good opportunity for _____ to socialize more. Cale has noticed them trying to initiate conversations so meeting new people would probably be good practice.

What doesn’t know is that Hans had a hand in making this invitation come true.

Needless to say, the influence wasn’t direct. It’s just that every report the butler made included the healer which made Cale’s parent’s curious. It was also obvious that Hans thinks the two have chemistry so the Count and Countess wanted to take a look.

The whole family is aware that _____ is alive and in hiding. Aside from them a minimal amount of very trusted servants have also been informed. These servants are the most loyal to the family and in turn have been chosen to directly serve _____ during their stay.

Basen, in particular, has heard his parents talk about _____. He has heard them speculate about whether or not the healer will get together with his brother. And so when he met them he had full intentions of checking whether or not they are worthy of his brother.

Meanwhile Lily was none the wiser. All she knows is that the pretty healer must hide their face because bad people are out to get them. That and their abilities are amazing, she still remembers that refreshing feeling she felt when _____ healed her before.

With different intentions, the siblings went to greet the healer after their parents did.

Lily instantly got along with _____. Meanwhile, Basen and his parents nodded in approval..?

Approval of what? _____ doesn’t know. They’re just glad that everyone is kind.

The entire Henituse family, including Cale before he left, told _____ to just roll and play around. Treat their stay at the castle as a vacation. 

Give _____ some credit because they tried really hard to follow their words.

However, they only lasted 3 hours before they were on their way to get permission to assist the knights' training.

Good thing Cale saw this coming so he informed Count Deruth in advance how _____ has a strong sense of responsibility.

The Count approved of them healing the knights but not replenishing their energy. _____ understands as they know stamina and endurance are important virtues to being a knight.

Another thing that Count Deruth noticed is how the healer seemed interested in administrative paperwork. Coincidentally, it was also how everyone found out that they’re a fast reader and learner.

“Healer-nim[1] are you interested in administrative work?”

The Count asked the next day while they were all eating breakfast.

“A little bit, but more than that I just noticed that the documents here look different from where I came from.”

Excuse me what now? How could they immediately tell that there was a difference when they only saw the document for half a minute and they weren’t even that close to it?

“You managed to read all of it?”

“Ah, I’m sorry was I not supposed to? I only read the first page because the rest was covered…”

Basen who couldn’t help but ask reassured _____ that those are public documents so it was fine to read them.

“...That’s so weird. In my previous place, they hid things like that. The ledger here is also different…”

Now that got Deruth’s full attention.

“How so?”

“Back when living with the Perduellios, I saw their ledgers a few times. Unlike here, the ledger there seems to have lapses in entry, but they aren’t very noticeable. Then they have two sets of ledger? I’m not sure why though maybe the people there aren’t as skilled as Basen so they need a trial ledger…”

That…

That’s definitely a textbook case of either fraud, tax evasion, or embezzlement. Or possibly all three. 

Not that _____ would know because they never received proper education.

Speaking of their education…

“Healer-nim may I ask how did you learn to read and write?”

Countess Violan asked politely.

“I learned by accident. My room was where they used to put books that were for donation. They didn’t renovate it fast enough so I managed to check out those books. Then after a few days, I accidentally memorized the alphabet.”

This…

Doesn’t this mean they have a genius on their hands?

They let the topic go and switched to more lighthearted ones, like whether Cale is treating them well, as breakfast progresses. However, the Count and Countess didn’t forget about what they talked about.

That afternoon the Count sent sample administrative documents as well as beginner books to _____’s room. He also told the healer to come to him or Basen if they had questions or wanted to learn more.

Meanwhile, Countess Violan took it upon herself to teach the healer noble etiquette. With _____’s permission of course.

And that’s how _____’s stay in the Henituse Castle became an impromptu how-to noble 101 lessons.

_____ isn’t sure how this happened but they're just happy to be a part of whatever’s happening.

Aside from learning and healing _____ also plays with Lily whenever the young girl has free time. More often than not Lily would spend her downtime looking for the healer and asking them to do more light tricks. To which _____ is more than happy to do so.

So their schedule is as follows:

In the morning they would eat breakfast with the whole family.

After breakfast, they would either learn etiquette from Countess Violan or read the books Count Deruth gave them.

Then after lunch, they would either help heal the training knights or play with Lily.

It’s vastly different from how _____ spends their day with Cale but it still felt fulfilling.

However, the healer still felt more comfortable at the super rock villa.

This was because their movement was pretty restrained in the castle, unlike in the underground villa where they could wear whatever and go wherever they wanted. They can only roam around inside the castle and they can rarely let their guard down.

But it’s still fun.

_____ likes the new experience it brings. They like the new things this family is teaching them.

Plus it’s not like they were isolated because they could still talk to the servants assigned to them.

“Young master-nim, you've already perfected tea etiquette? That’s amazing!”

The healer's cheeks are dusted a soft pink hue at the maid’s compliments.

“Ah please refer to me by my name or just healer, I’m not a young master…”

“Nonsense! Young master _____ is a young master!”

_____ feels like they had the same conversation somewhere else before…

“However, was young master-nim born with the gift of learning fast?”

Lily, who was on her way to play with _____ overheard the conversation.

“Hmmm, I guess to some extent? Even before I was adopted people have told me I pick up things fast. But I’m not sure if those were empty words because my adoptive family still deemed my learning speed slow.”

The maid styling _____’s hair made a noise of protest.

“There’s no way that’s the case! I bet they were just jealous that young master-nim is a genius!”

“Huh? Me a genius? Ah no, no. There’s no way. When I was a kid I was punished because I can’t learn things in one go… I think someone like Lily-nim is a genius, not me.”

The maids and servants attending _____ began protesting about how both Lily and _____ are geniuses.

Lily then decided that she had eavesdropped enough and finally knocked on the door.

“Ah young master Lily, please wait a moment young master _____ is almost done getting ready.”

That evening, as Violan tucked Lily in, the girl spilt what she overhead to her mother.

In turn, Countess Violan told Count Deruth.

Then Count Deruth told Cale after he got back from looting- investigating the empire.

“Huuu, they just keep adding more sins to their list.”

Count Deruth did not comment as he heard the angriest sigh leave his son’s lips.

“As we talked about before I’ll let you handle the Perduellio family. Just talk to me if you need anything and I’ll make it happen.”

“Thank you.”

The two talked a bit more before they both left the Count’s office. As they turn into a corner they see _____ playing with Basen and Lily.

“Cale! You’re back! I heard what happened at the empire, did everything work out fine?”

Ho? So Hans was telling the truth when he said Cale and ____ have been on a casual first-name basis since a month ago.

Another thing that Deruth noticed was how his son’s face relaxed at the mere sight of the healer. It was as if he was never angry in the first place.

Deruth Henituse approves.

Cale and _____ hadn’t even gotten together yet, much less have asked for his approval.

Nonetheless, Deruth Henituse approves.

[1] I'm honestly not very knowledgeable about kr name honorifics, I only grew up learning the fil and jp ones so I'm unsure of this one like... I feel like Deruth's status is too high for him to address reader with nim but it also feels awkward if I don't put an honorific at the end... send help

[chdarling]

Snape slipping Lily the Felix potion OH MY GOD. I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING. BRILLIANT!!!!

I was absolutely floored. The foreshadowing is amazing. The last chapter got me thinking. I'm curious how much outlining have you done for TLE? Do you outline every chapter or just vague overarching themes? You may have answered this before, and if so, I'm sorry! I'm just more or less curious about your writing process since your work is so good.

I just wanted to send you all the good vibes and fairy dust. Thank you for sharing this story. I hope you're doing well and resting when you can. Burn out sucks.

Hi! Thank you!! And sorry I’m responding to this like months after you sent it!

I do a LOT of outlining. As a matter of fact, plotting is one of my favorite parts of writing. I just love taking two random, completely unrelated scenes that occurred to me separately and then trying to figure out how to get from point A to point B.

For the case of the Felix, I always knew there would be an attack on Hogsmeade at the end of TLE2, but I didn’t have a lot of the details worked out. It wasn’t until much later in the plotting process that I was working on a scene that I was 100% writing for the jily tension (their first potions class together) and I decided to go the Felix Felicis lesson route, mostly because coming up with new potions is hard and I figured Slughorn seems like a dude who loved his little traditions. It wasn’t until I got to the end of that scene that I realized I didn’t want Lily to win the potion because it would add too many variables, but SOMEONE had to win it….and then 💥bam flash pow 💥 I gave the Felix to Snape and suddenly alllllll these other plots went spiraling out of control hahaha.

So I guess I would summarize my process as:

1. Hoard snippets and scenes in my notes app for a long time

2. Put them all in a semi chronological timeline

3. Let the imagination go wild as I try to make it make sense

I also redo my plots more times than I can count. Things are always moving about because sometimes a scene will logically make sense at x point in the timeline, but then when I get to writing the actual scene, emotionally and narratively it doesn’t work.

But that’s part of the fun!!! Yay problem solving lol

Anyway! That was rambly and a bit inarticulate, but thanks for the ask and thanks for the kind words ❤️

[llamagoddessofficial]

A commission with Nightmare, Cross and a wonderful OC, for the lovely @sansarae (who for some reason Tumblr won't let me properly @ >:/)

I hope the wait wasn't too annoying- thank you for your patience, I really appreciate it!

---

“Oh. Hello again.” You smiled at the monster before you, with a touch more genuineness than your usual go-to customer service grin. “What can I get for you?”

... The skeleton looked up. His eyelights were a sharp, startling red, bloody and intense in a manner that didn’t seem to fit his otherwise pleasantly monochromatic clothing at all. At your comment, his sockets slightly narrowed.

“You... remember me?” he said, slowly.

Your smile immediately twitched with nervousness. What? You couldn’t pick up on his tone. He was staring at you with an unreadable, near-blank expression. Did you say something wrong? What had you done?

“Of... of course I do,” you replied, voice nearly quivering as your usual awkwardness took over. Why did that give him pause? Did you offend him?

...

You couldn’t make sense of his face. He was just staring at you, like that; did he really look accusatory, or were you just seeing things because you were scared? Your lip wobbled- idiot. This is what you get for attempting anything more than you were comfortable with, anything more than customer service politeness. This exact scenario was why you found people so exhausting... why you were so introverted. 

“I mean,” you rushed for proverbial cover. “I work at a cafe. It’s my job to remember people, y’know?”

His face didn’t shift. His voice was monotone.

“... I see.”

...

... Well. That was that, then. You felt sick. 

“Erm... so what can I get for you?”

Why was he surprised, anyway? How could you not remember him? He had stumbled into the building, a few days ago, a little before closing. It had just been you left in the cafe. He had looked a mess, as if he’d just escaped a natural disaster- dressed in torn clothing, he approached the counter with faraway empty eyelights and the expression of a man who had seen far too much to care anymore. With a calm voice, he asked for ‘anything that would make him feel awake’.

You’d been too stunned (and intimidated) to try conversation. You had served him a large black coffee, which he’d taken, leaving behind a generous tip. He had seated himself in the far corner of the cafe with his back to a wall... and he drank the whole thing in silence, staring nowhere but at the table.

... Then he left without a word.

You’d had a lot of strange customers come through, in your time behind the counter. That was just part of running a business. You still vaguely remembered the best of them... the woman who had insisted you redo her coffee because the one you’d given her was ‘looking at her’, the man who had been otherwise friendly but always smelled so strongly of cinnamon it almost made you feel sick, the guy who yelled at you for making his strawberry milkshake too pink. 

But him? The skeleton? You didn’t know why, but out of everyone, it was him who stuck the most firmly in your mind.

... Eventually, he spoke. You didn’t know if he genuinely looked upset or if you were just so embarrassed by his reaction that you were seeing unpleasantness and irritation in his every move.

“... I’ll get a chamomile tea. Please.”

At least he was polite. Tea- nothing at all like his last order. “Sure. Your name?”

... He hadn’t given it last time. Understandably, considering he had been the only person in the entire cafe. But you had other customers this time and ‘skeleton’ probably wouldn’t go down well when you called it out.

He looked at you.

...

“... Cross.” He said, softly. 

You smiled at him. “Thank you, Cross. Cash or card?”

Saying his name seemed to have a weird effect on him. A strange look passed over his face, shaking his silent suspicious air for a second.

... He finally blinked. 

“... Cash.”

“Gold or dollars?”

“G.”

The register beeped. 

“That’s 12G, please.”

... He handed you the money.

...

His mouth opened, then closed again. You waited politely. But... he said nothing. He just quietly took his tea, and made his way to the same far table he’d sat at earlier.

Though he sat in silence, it didn't escape your notice that every now and then, you'd catch him looking your way.

... You opted to just keep yourself busy with your work. Though you had to admit- for some reason, when the thought of 'What an odd guy' passed through your mind...

... It wasn't entirely negative.

///---///

'Cross' came nearly every day.

You were surprised how much of your thoughts revolved around this stranger. He occupied your mind, as you set our equipment, wiping cups and plates... I wonder how he’s doing.

He was very punctual. You liked that. He rarely arrived outside of certain hourly windows, and there was always a pattern to his arrivals. On a good day, he would come in the early morning- depending on the crowds he may even be one of the very first people into the cafe. He'd seem aware, and like he wanted to say something to you... he'd order a tea, and through your shift you'd constantly be glancing up and catching him (sheepishly?) looking at you.

... On a bad day, though... he’d come late. Like the first time you saw him. His eyelights would be distant, his tone brittle, words clipped, someone checked out of their own body. He would just stare at his table like something was playing out in front of his view. Those were the days when he would order a large coffee. 

... Today looked like it was shaping out to be one of his ‘bad’ days. It was almost four when he came into the cafe, the last of your usual patrons already shuffling out the door.

Quickly, you started up the coffee machine, and made him his coffee. He had only been standing at the counter for a few moments, when you turned around and placed the drink in front of him.

...

He blinked. His eyelights fractionally widened, growing a little brighter.

“... You knew my order?”

Despite his softer tone, not wanting a repeat of last time, with his strange reaction to you recalling his name... you just nodded.

Another pause, as he just stared at the coffee.

“Nobody else remembers anything about me.”

... Huh. That was a pretty heavy sentence. You tried to keep your tone light, in comparison.

“... Well,” you tapped the coffee lid, “it definitely helps that you only order the same two things. Right?”

...

... His gaze flickered up to you. 

... He finally actually smiled at you. His shoulders gently bobbed, like he was briefly restraining a chuckle- the smile looked nice on him, it was handsome and suited his features. And though it quickly fell away to his usual not-quite-a-frown, you were startled by how different he had looked for that brief moment... how pleasant, how warm. Like there was a happier person lurking just beneath the surface.

“Heh... yeah. I guess so.” 

His phalanges tapped on the top of the coffee. Over top of where yours had been, moments ago.

Your customer service voice was slowly slipping away. His proximity was... nice. “Do you need anything else?”

"I like your braids."

"... Thank you." One of your hands immediately came up to fiddle with the hair. Was the warmth in your cheeks showing on your face? You really hoped not. "It's easier to work when it's out of the way."

"I wouldn't know."

...

Both of you broke into quiet laughter. Yours, a warm giggle, his a low rusty chuckle.

“... What’s your name?” He asked.

You usually hated when customers asked for your name, pushing the boundary of customer and server. But... not this time, not at all. You couldn't have been happier. “Rin.”

“... Do you mind if I just... sit here?” He motioned to the seat nearest to the counter.

You nearly beamed. 

“Sure. Go ahead.”

... You thought you saw something flicker across his cheekbones. Some kind of colour. But it was gone again, as soon as it appeared; perhaps just a trick of the light. Or your eyes finally showing the strain of so many hours of work. Either way, he took his coffee, and settled into the chair at the table right beside the counter.

... It was silent again, in the cafe. But it was a much different silence. You, wiping down the machines and packing away for the day... Cross, taking his time with his drink.

It really felt, to you, like he just needed to sit near to someone.

... You could live with that person being you.

///---///

Cross was good at keeping his cool. After what he’d been through, what he’d done... his nerves of steel had been forged under unimaginable pressure. He didn’t like that it had become genuinely hard for anything to shake him anymore; it was endless proof of his sins, living in his chest and smothering the person he had once been.

That was why, when Nightmare’s terrifying eye turned to him and pinned him under all of its icy power and rage, cold blue flickering against the castle’s glassy obsidian walls... he didn’t flinch.

“you.” Nightmare’s voice, despite having a light intonation, was not happy. “a word.”

... Cross didn’t react to Killer’s cruel snickering. He didn’t even look the other skeletons’ way- he knew Killer would be grinning like a cat, Axe would be cleaning his weapon with his characteristic disinterest, and Dust would be silently enjoying the beginnings of what may eventually become a slow, painful downfall for Cross.  

These people were not his friends. They were deeply unpleasant coworkers, at best.

... Cross followed Nightmare, as his ‘employer’ moved into a separate room. The door closed behind them, cutting off Killer’s laughter. 

Blue candlelight warped and flashed in the dark.

...

A tentacle lashed out, faster than Cross could react, grabbing him by the neck and slamming him into the wall. He let out a startled gasp as the appendage held him there, tightly, the pressure increasing until it felt like his spine was inches away from fracturing.

Nightmare’s glare pierced straight into Cross’ Soul. 

“you think i’m an idiot?”

Cross couldn’t reply, the pressure on his spine too great. But he reckoned Nightmare wasn’t looking for a response.  

“you’re getting soft. you’re hesitating.” Nightmare’s head cocked. “did you think i wouldn’t notice?” 

Nightmare’s grip fractionally increased, and he clearly spent a few seconds savouring watching Cross struggle in vain. The twitch in his smile, the bend to his claws, he looked to be taking out as much rage as he could in those short moments. 

But apparently, he wasn’t yet willing to kill- despite clearly desiring to press until the spine shattered, Nightmare instead clenched his jaw and let go. 

Cross nearly collapsed onto his knees. The quick display of Nightmare’s overwhelming power had staggered him. But he still managed to catch himself, at the last moment, and remain standing.

Perhaps it would’ve been better to fall. The silent defiance in that move seemed to aggravate Nightmare even more.

“you aren’t subtle.” Nightmare hissed. “you move through the multiverse with the grace of a dog in wet concrete. i know you like to slink off to other places. what are you doing? crawling away to go build a new family?”

Cross kept his line of sight down. Nightmare had the powers of a God, but he had the temper of a petulant child, and in these kinds of moods the smallest slips from his minions could push him into a fit of violent rage that sent all of them scurrying for cover. 

“No.” Cross responded, as simply as possible, voice strained from the attack to his neck. Now wasn’t the time for flowery words; Nightmare still wasn’t looking for a real reply.

A cruel snicker. “trying to escape? settle down somewhere i can’t find you?”

Your face flickered in Cross’ mind’s eye.

Not right now.

“No.”

“... i like to think you have forgotten i taste lies. because i resent the thought that one of my underlings is so stupid as to know that, but still lie to me.”

Cross steeled himself. “I have nothing to hide.”

“not even that little human woman?”

...

... It took all of his mental control. Every ounce. Another skeleton would’ve cried aloud, perhaps, or frozen as the terror spread through them. Someone they cared about had been noticed by Nightmare... singled out, almost by name.

... You had no idea how much you meant to Cross. No idea that you were often the only thing that could soothe his disturbed Soul when it all felt too much. Your warmth, your kind eyes, how you remembered little details about him... and said his name so gently. 

Hearing someone say his name with kindness had been like, for just a moment, being home again.

You didn't know how protective he was of you. What he’d do to keep you safe. And he couldn’t, at any cost, allow Nightmare to think you were someone to him.

He kept his gaze on the glassy black floor. He kept his emotions still.

... He had stifled truly monumental loss and terror, before. This was nothing new.

"... She's a barista." Cross said.

"so that's it?” an incredulous scoff. “you're hopping multiverses to go drink coffee at the same shitty coffee shop in the middle of nowhere?"

"Yes, sir."

"you could go anywhere for your coffee. you could go to italy. indonesia. brazil. anywhere at all- and you go there?"

"Yes." Because you’re there.

...

... Nightmare seemed to be quietly fuming. Though whether it was because he couldn't pin any particular 'crime' onto Cross, or because his snobbery with coffee was coming through, he had no idea.

They both knew that Cross was too valuable of a pawn to die for no solid reason.

... Eventually, Nightmare's rage eased enough for him to speak again. 

"i don’t care what games you play in your free time, worm.” His voice was significantly lower. “but you know what will happen, if you don’t do your fucking job. hesitate again, and i certainly won't."

“... It won’t happen again.” Cross replied, not yet allowing himself to feel relief.

The cyan eye flashed. “it won’t happen again, what.”

“... It won’t happen again, sir.” 

...

"fine. you may go."

Cross rose to his feet, but kept his eyelights down. He exited the room as swiftly as he could, without appearing desperate to leave.

Don’t feel yet.

Killer was there, of course, waiting just outside the door. Grin as smug and cruel as ever.

"oh, so you're still alive?" The murderer crooned. "for how long, though...?"

Cross gave Killer a witheringly unimpressed look. He had no need to engage in one of his games- he just needed to get as far away from Nightmare as possible, so he could allow himself to process the fears that were itching at the corners of his Soul, threatening to give everything he was hiding away.

He wordlessly walked past Killer. As always, the only thing that seemed to make Killer's constant grin drop was Cross refusing to engage.

///---///

Moving between universes was second nature, by this point in Nightmare’s existence. So much so that he wasn’t at all exaggerating when he said he could see how Cross had moved from one place to the other. The fabric between realities looked disturbed and jagged, in the wake of someone moving clumsily; a rippled pond surface, traces of the offender’s Soul saturating the threads.

It wasn’t difficult to track down where his subordinate had been going. And who he’d been going to.

...

... You turned over, in your bed. There was a soft kind of pain written across your face, something happening within your dream. pathetic. Nightmare tilted his head, as he observed... even if you had been awake, he was indistinguishable from the shadows at the foot of your bed.

Cross' scent was all over you- embarrassing, mushy soft feelings that the 'soldier' clearly couldn't help, they had spilled out of his Soul and stained all over you like a foul hotel blanket under a blacklight. Nightmare almost couldn't stand to be near it.

And yet. Under it all- in your chest, he could see a glittering, jewel-like purple Soul.

Nightmare’s gaze zeroed in. she’s a perseverance mage.

... His smile curled. A little more interesting. Did Cross know? Did you know? There was a significant degree of power, flowing through those veins, magic just waiting to be harnessed. Even Nightmare couldn’t deny it was pretty to observe- he was always partial to royal purple.

... You made a sound, in your sleep. A crease formed between your brows.

...

Well. He was curious, now. And he hadn’t tormented a human in a long time.

He slipped, completely undetected by your Soul and mind, into your dream. Before he began to terrify you it was probably a good idea to observe your thoughts, get a sense of any treachery Cross may have committed... any details his underling may have spilled, that could justify erasing another human pest from the multiverse.

... A myriad of pleasant tastes. Melancholy, loss, a hint of misplaced and directionless anger. Overall, a delicate combination of flavours, but sweet nonetheless.

He could see the dream’s scene, emerging before him. how delightful.

... Dreams were, by no means, easy places to be. Though Nightmare was powerful he was also an interloper and there was a real danger that a strong human Soul like yours could cast him out. The dreams of mages were often like rocking boats on a great ocean- until he took the reins, the residual waves made him feel sick, tossed about. It was important to get his bearings.

The backdrop was a sea of blurry images, nearly-forgotten places melting together in your mind. A park, a bedroom, a dark street. And... there was two of you.

...

... No. He could smell the emotions rolling off of you, as you stared at this mirror image of yourself. The mirror image... she wore different clothes. Frilly and sweet ones. The adult features of her face were exaggerated, imagined- unlike your messily self-braided locks, her hair was sweetly ringlet curled, as if done lovingly by another's skilled hands.

And her eyes, though so similar to yours, were someone else’s eyes.

Melancholy. Regret. Anger. 

... 

Nightmare suddenly... felt his chest tighten.

that's... her sister.

a twin.

... His thoughts were getting quieter and quieter. Static, faintly ringing in his skull... he couldn't taste the emotions anymore.

“... I wonder if you would’ve cared.” You said, quietly, to the blank and silent sister before you. “I guess I’ll never know.”

The reflection didn't smile.

His brother's face flickered in his mind's eye.

...

Nightmare drew in a sharp breath- suddenly staggered, he immediately withdrew from the dream. He moved back from the bed like a live snake was laying within it. 

He gripped his shirt. His chest... it was so heavy. Why did it feel so heavy? He took another step away.

i didn't think anyone could comprehend how i felt.

let alone...

... He didn't like how, when he looked at you, for a moment he didn't immediately see prey.

Just a sleeping person.

...

In an instant, he was back in his room. Back in his castle, where he was safe, and alone.

...

Nightmare let out a slow, dark breath. And though he hadn't yet fully re-centred himself, his grin regardless began to return.

As much as he was aggravated by Cross... he almost had to thank him.

His ‘soldier’ had bought such a fascinating creature to his full attention, after all.

[rookfang]

*claps my hands together* So—

I've been sort of vaguely talking about rewriting Laika's backstory for a week or so, but I figured I would write out a step by step of what I want to do & how that will affect this blog.

ONE: As I've stated before, I am writing out the Mercar adoption plotline. This is for a myriad of reasons, but mostly because I was never satisfied with it, and I had shoehorned it in in the first place. It's always kind of detracted from my Intended Laika Experience. As much as I love the character development work I put in there, it was never cohesive.

TWO: I am also editing bits and pieces of Laika's leaving the Threads plotline - just to make it a more active plotline as opposed to a passive one. This shouldn't change much for anybody. Currently, the about document has no backstory listed, but a few supplementary headcanons are linked for any new people who happen to stumble in.

THREE: As such, I will not be dropping plotted relationships. Mostly because they shouldn't be all too affected! We can always go over stuff in DMs if something comes up, and I do think a few threads will be retconned out, but nothing too drastic.

FOUR: I also have no plans to drop any replies I owe. I've yet to reach the critical mass where it's unmanageable, and I think I have a solid, concrete plan to get the ball rolling. That said, school is also getting busy, so all of this shall come at a snails pace.

FIVE: I wanted to say how absolutely grateful I am to y'all. This blog ( and everyone who has written with me ) has allowed me to explore Dragon Age in a way I haven't before. I love reading all your writings, I love seeing how we all interpret the text and how we can expand and play around in this space. I've been having the time of my life with you.

Thank you if you've read this far. Under the cut is going to be my like... personal guide for how I'm going to handle the rewrite.

THE PLAN: - Firstly, I am putting -100% pressure on myself to write replies. If I have the time and inspiration, I will, but combined with rewriting and some other projects, plus preparing for a month abroad in May/June, I have my plate stacked full. - I will spend at least 30 minutes each day working on the bio doc rewrite, barring any Insane Circumstances. - One thing I would like to do in the Bio Rewrite Phase is at least reply to asks, but I am not making that a guarantee. - I am also working on a full fanfiction, but that's very much a 'simmering in the background' kind of project. - Once the bio doc redo is completely, I'll transition that "at least 30 minutes each day writing" rule onto my replies. No obligation to finish writing anything, but at least enough to get ideas on the page. - Of course, during all of this, I'll be available in DMs / Discord for my mutuals. Talking about writing, for me, helps me actually write, so I always love stopping to chat.

and if you really got this far : a secret cat picture

[leggerefiore]

Nsfw hcs for Maxie and Archie, if you haven’t done them before? 👉👈

I actually already did Archie a while ago... but I might redo a few of my older posts at some point.

cw: 18+ content, afab reader

☀️Maxie General NSFW HCs🌋

🪨 The Great Maxie would never admit it aloud, but he truly has not had that many sexual encounters. Whether he has even had one before you is truly up in there because he gets far too flustered talking about it. There is little understanding of his previous proclivities, needless to say. Rather, his skills are quite a bit lacking, too, and he feels embarrassed further if you comment on them. He does have a vague understanding of everything, at least. There is a nervousness present in the air, however.

🪨 Maxie does like sex, despite his apparent jittery nature towards it. When he gets himself so wound up with stress and worries about his team and plans and whatever else, taking a moment to just let out some pent-up feelings in bed calms him down. Pleasure rushes through his veins as his disappears into you. Whatever stress was plaguing all his thoughts simply vanish when your hands tug at his red strands. Nothing exists in those moments, but the two of you – gone is the strict Magma Boss. Instead, lies a flustered Maxie who can only groan from the feeling of your bodies connected.

🪨 The places you can usually find the man open for sex are nothing overly odd from him. Obviously, your home is preferred as he simply feels as though he can let go of whatever pretences that bind him. Though, he is not above admitting his office has been a common theme for you both. Having you against his desk or pinning him to his couch is something that he lets himself simply enjoy. Taunting moments of you hidden under his desk as he tries to work. It is all to no avail, but he will not lie and say that being in his office gives him more of a sense of authority than he feels at home. The riskiest option he ever did was probably in Fiery Path during an expedition or on Mt Chimney while camping with you. Those times always strangely make him feel so agitated – in both a good and bad way. Something about the heat in the air mixed in with the heat of your bodies makes his heart race.

🪨 Quite inexperienced at giving head and relatively disinterest in doing it at first due to how intimidating the thought seems. He would never admit that the reason was that, but once he becomes more confident in his sexual relationship with you, he comes to be pretty into it. His technique still might be lacking… yet, he still is a perfectionist so he dutifully throws himself into finding out whatever pleases you and relishes in the pride of actually making moan and clutch his hair to pull him deeper in. As for receiving, he is quite weak. His face almost becomes a similar shade of colour to his hair as your tongue licks a stripe up his cock. Loud moans and cries come from him as you take the head into your mouth. He certainly will not ever stop you if you want to give him head.

🪨 Maxie can be a switch, but he leans towards bottoming. He… just is not very dominant most of the time. Most of the time in his office, he tries to keep some control. You may be pressed against his desk as he ruts into you from behind, back against your own as the frame of the surface digs into your body. His groans and breaths tickle your neck. Something in him wants to remind you he is the Magma Leader. But… He also obviously is not opposed to letting you take over. Many times you will have the redhead under you while pressing your hands into his chest for traction and bouncing on his cock. He is completely under your orders in these situations. You can even get him to agree to certain other activities, even.

🪨 Kinks… Well, he almost certainly has a power play kink. Except, it reverses between who is in charge depending on his mood. He would never admit how much he enjoys getting ordered around a bit by you. Though, it might make him feel an urge to prove himself and suddenly take charge. He also has a slight leaning towards seeing you dressed in Magma uniforms. The sight of you with his emblem on you makes his mind race with various thoughts. Especially when you opt to clearly tease him in it. He is truthfully not overly kinky, but he is willing to try a few things with his partner. (Introducing him to bondage may just awake something in him…)

🪨 Maxie's libido does skew towards the lower side. He is not some horn dog... Not like that Archie. But he does still have a sex drive that rears his head and makes him want to share intimate moments with you. Even if they occur at inopportune moments… He grumbles horribly if you are unavailable and has to get himself off. Though, a session later makes up for his whining. Seducing him is as simple as leaning over in front of him. He is effortless to arouse, despite how rarely it happens on its own. He might even break for a moment if you wear some knitted lingerie. Quickies can happen, but his preference leans towards taking time to do everything right.

🪨 His dirty talk will likely make you laugh more than anything. Maxie is trying his best, but he simply has a certain manner of speaking that is… not exactly sexy. A “hrmph” before compliment might make you burst out laughing. Granted, his pleasured sounds do make up his lacking ability in that department. He is vocal in bed, at least. Some might say it is difficult to shut him up. A geological reference may even get tossed in. “You… You are hotter than the average temperature of Mt. Chimney,” he manages to get out while buried to the hilt onside you. You must forgive his efforts.

🪨 He hates a reoccurring fantasy he has involving you and Archie. The Magma Leader swears that he does not want anything to do with that ocean obsessed wannabe pirate, yet the idea of a threesome involving him makes his heart race. You wedged between him and the pirate – (or the much more ignored scenario of him between you and the pirate) – makes his face somehow pale then flush red. He hates that this occupies his mind at all. Maxie keeps this to himself and hopes it never comes out.

🪨 His “no 's” are quite plain. Choking makes him feel ill not matter who is doing what, calling him daddy might make him spiral into a panic attack over his age, public sex just not blend with his worries over his image, and he is not one for degrading you. He feels open to most other things.

🪨 Aftercare from him can vary on a few things. First of all, he will draw a hot bath to clean up and unwind after most sessions, and he does not mind you joining him. Cuddling is also much appreciated (especially after a more intense one). He might need a moment to collect himself – he just feels temporarily consumed. You may have to comfort him a little, too, but he will awkwardly try to return the favour.

[edenfenixblogs]

Your work in audiovisual description is invaluable to us BVI people, thank you 🤗🤗🤗

I'm actually pretty interested in what a typical day of work looks like in the profession, so would you be willing to share? Do you have existing guidelines or are you mostly left alone to figure out what information gets described and what doesn't?

No pressure of course, only answer if you're comfortable!

Hello!!!!! I’m so glad that you value my work.

There are so many guidelines and I help write and maintain and evolve them.

There’s a reason that newer stuff is less awkward than older stuff and it’s because we try to evolve what we do over time. Occasionally we will get a chance to redo 20-year old description, which is so nice. Because we end up changing almost everything.

There’s not too much I can say about it all, because I’m bound by a million Non Disclosure Agreements, but I have worked in captioning and now [vague job title redacted] in Audio/Video Description and it always breaks my heart when people think we leave things out on purpose or don’t care. Usually, discrepancies have to do with making sure the material we put out is equally accessible to all BVI or Deaf folk (depending on department) and a lot of that is based in studies of how many words a human can take in per second, on average.

We try so hard and aren’t usually allowed to put our names on our work and all we want is to tell you how seriously we take it and how much we care.

Beyond that, I can’t say anything. Not even the company I work for or my actual job title.

Also, I really appreciate you not pressuring me to continue description work on my blog. I really do apologize, because I know it can make my posts inconvenient, but I just can’t feel like I’m still at work when I blog. I do really apologize with total sincerity. And I’m so grateful to you for being kind. I try to always reblog the versions of my posts that people add description to. I want you to have access to everything. I just can’t be in charge of all of it all the time. Does that make sense? Aside from that, I don’t want my style to somehow get deciphered by someone who identifies me and then I get sued for breaking my NDA.

I’m so so so grateful you appreciate the work we do. 🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵😭🩵🩵

[neoyorzapoteca]

Fear is the thing? The result? Your work resists the idea of suffering. Does suffering ever have something to do with sculpture?

No, because it is too vague. How can art save someone from suffering, from insanity? You have to ask a doctor. I can not answer that because I have never been there. I carry my psychoanalysis within the work. Every day I work out all that bothers me. All my complaints. This way there’s always a component of anger in beauty.

Paulo, let me write in your book.

[She writes in red pen:] I do I undo I redo

[Underneath she draws a large circle with the phrase ‘the pregnant O’.]

That is the beauty of the drawing. Drawing opens our eyes and the eyes lead to our soul. What comes out is not at all what one has planned. The only remedy against disorder is work. Work puts an order in disorder and control over chaos. I do, I undo, I redo. I am what I am doing. Art exhausts me. Yet I work every day of my life.

(via "I Don’t Need an Interview to Clarify My Thoughts": An Interview with Louise Bourgeois | Art for Sale | Artspace)

[communistkenobi]

would you be at all willing to talk about your experience of undergrad vs grad school? personally i struggled quite a bit in undergrad but am still always tempted to go back, and i think maybe the narrowed focus of grad school would be a little easier to handle, but i'm not sure if that would actually be the case... & perhaps your experience was something else completely and maybe this is too vague also lol, but i'm very curious about how you felt they were different!

yeah totally! My experience is doing graduate degrees (writing a thesis) in the faculty of social science in Canadian universities, so everything I’m about to say comes from that specific context. Definitely not universal lol

in my experience grad school is a lot more customised than undergrad. You still have required courses, non-course degree milestones (usually you’re required to present your work at conferences, which can get expensive and isn’t always covered by your department, as well as produce summaries of work you’ve done, research proposals, scholarship applications, etc), and standardised expectations, but you have a lot more choice in the courses you take and what topics you focus on. One university I was at was very relaxed about deadlines in grad school (I easily got extensions from profs without needing doctors notes or official accommodations, i was given the ability to redo assignments, etc), and the other was the ecact opposite (treated me like a idiot for needing extra time with work). If you’re doing a thesis project, a lot of your degree is independent work that you do in your own time - this was a huge struggle for me at the end of my masters, and I had to do “martial law” with my graduate friends at the very end, which basically meant us instituting a highly regimented schedule together made up of work sessions and breaks where we would each meet up and work on finishing our thesis (1 hour of work then 15 min break, rince and repeat, do this for four or five sessions a day every day). You are on a time crunch as you only receive funding for so many years, if you get offered funding at all.

your supervisor has a lot of control and influence over you - they are meant to guide you through the research process, develop your project, give you feedback, provide you with appropriate literature, double check your work, and help you get grants / funding. If you get a bad one it can legitimately ruin your life. I have had hilariously bad luck with supervisors (I’ve had to switch supervisors twice due to discrimination and breaches of provincial human rights law - which is not the norm to my understanding lol).

it depends on why you want to go to grad school and what you plan to do after. I want to stay in academia so that’s where most of my advice comes from. Tenure-track positions are incredibly difficult to secure and if you’re serious about staying in the academy you should be publishing your research while you’re still in graduate school, and treat every term paper as a draft of something you’re going to publish. I also have backup jobs I know I can apply for outside of academia if I don’t get any academic offers.

it’s relatively common for students to join a two or four year grad program but take way more time than that to finish. Usually if you get any funding packages, they only cover the official allotted years (in my experience, two for a master’s, four for PhD), meaning that if you need extra time, you could be finishing your degree with no funding and no guaranteed employment. If your supervisor is cool/connected they might have money they can swing your way, but it’s a tenuous and scary way to live if you have no other source of income.

funding usually comes from 1) grants your department gives you (they will tell you if they’re giving you money on your acceptance letter), 2) teaching assistant positions (I was/am required to be a TA, which usually involves grading undergraduate work, running labs, or leading teaching sessions/“tutorials”) and 3) federal scholarships that you are required to apply for. You need to write applications for these scholarships, usually including a research proposal, a CV/resume, a transcript of your grades, and recently, they’ve added a requirement for a diversity statement explaining any minority statuses you have and how that affects your education. TA work has an uneven workload from week to week, and usually most of the work is towards the end of the term when you’re grading final essays/exams, which creates crunch periods where you’re both working on your own coursework and grading undergrad work.

again a lot of this might not apply to your particular discipline or university or country. Usually universities list a lot of this info on their website, which can help you figure out what’s required of you. Grad school is structured like a full time job and it doesn’t pay very well even if you are funded. I lived with my parents for most of my master’s which gave me the financial stability to complete it. It’s not easy and it takes up most of your waking time, and it can leave you in a financially precarious position with a lot of debt. It’s definitely not something I would recommend for fun unless you have a lot of money and time to burn

[r0ll-of-the-dice]

When Planning, Two Minds are Better than One

Writing type: One-shot

Pairing(s): Charlemagne x Hakunon

Word count: 926

Author's note: As there are two Charlemagnes in this fic, I'll be differentiating them like this to avoid confusion:

Charlie - 1st/2nd Ascension

Charles - 3rd Ascension

Now that that's out of the way, hope you enjoy the short fic and Happy (late) Valentine's Day! :D

An earthy aroma wafts throughout the room, a quiet sipping breaking the silence. The mug makes a light clink against the table's surface, and he gives the young man sitting opposite a level stare.

How they sat reflected the other's personality more than their own. He himself was known to be uptight, yet he leaned back against the cushions. On the other hand, the usually upbeat one sat upright with his arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed.

Neither had spoken above a whisper since they arranged their seating. While he preferred it this way, his counterpart would surely be of a different opinion. His younger self was always eager for a new adventure, that he recalls. 

Besides, they were here for a reason. If that man won't initiate, then he'll simply do it instead.

"Will we be spending the rest of our time like this?" he speaks up. "We have something urgent to address, no?"

Charlie jumps. There's an impatience underlying Charles' calm that he picks up on. He knows better than to test it.

"Ah, right… sorry about that." Charlie says, rubbing the back of his neck. He clears his throat.

"So. Valentine's Day is tomorrow. What should we give Nonny?"

'Hm?'

Once again, the room goes quiet. Charles' eyes suddenly snap to the calendar on the farthest wall. He reads the small, blurry lettering. February 13.

'It's that close? Was it not the 10th today…?' he thinks to himself. No wonder his other self was so worried—they only had today to do something.

When he directs his stare back ahead of him, he notices the rather strained smile the other man has. 

'Was he relying on me to be prepared?' Letting out a huff, his ruby eyes narrow at him. Neither of them had a clue what to do, that much was glaringly obvious now.

"I know she wouldn't mind chocolates, but it feels too plain!" Charlie groans, putting his head in his hands. "What are we gonna do? I don't wanna disappoint her…"

Charles was stumped. The question "Why are you overcomplicating this?" doesn't leave his lips. He knew he felt the same way as his counterpart. It wouldn't do to give her something so common, no, it wasn't befitting of her. They didn't have any particular talent in baking either—hell, the most they knew was how to bake bread or perhaps mini cupcakes—so there weren't many options open to them. 

He tugs at his mind for an answer, desperate to find anything, when a vague memory appears at the forefront. A long hallway of stairs leading upwards, armoured boots thumping against every other step. He can barely make out the voice that echoes throughout the spacious area. Were they talking to him?

"Are you ____? __ ___ want _ _____ roll cake?"

Not a second longer can he dwell on the memory before it fades away. He pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to quell the rising frustration. 

'What was that? Did that happen on SE.RA.PH?' 

The more Charles concentrates, the clearer that voice becomes. It sounded feminine and extremely familiar, as if he's well-acquainted with them. Could it have been Hakunon? 

An idea hits him. Even he's grasping at straws, this was better than nothing.

"How about… making a cake roll for her?" he suggests, his voice lacking its confidence. "We could ask one of the chefs for help."

Charlie puts a hand to his chin and silently thinks it over. Then, his face lights up.

"That's it!" he grins. "We only have a few hours left, so let's get started on it now!"

Valentine's Day finally arrives. Both versions of Charlemagne spent the day before in Chaldea's kitchens, redoing any failed attempt at baking a roll cake with Martha's help. They could only hope their former Master would be satisfied with how their last two turned out. 

Spotting her entering the cafeteria, Charlie cheerfully calls out her name.

"Nonny! Over here!"

She perks up and makes her way to where he and Charles are standing, evading the people excitedly rushing to the Fujimaru siblings. Once she reaches them, they each hold out a mesh bag in their colours to her; a light blue with silver highlights for Charlie, and a maroon with golden highlights for Charles.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Haku." Charles says. "We didn't know what flavour you liked the most, but hopefully you enjoy it all the same."

Inside the bags, she could see the slices of roll cake were different. What Charlie had was presumably chocolate, while Charles' had vanilla. With surprise decorating her features, she takes the bags into one of her hands.

"Thank you. I actually had something for you two, but you beat me to the punch." she smiles, her free hand reaching into her jacket. She pulls out a small tin box wrapped with a tidy brown bow.

The two men glance at each other before Charles accepts it and opens the lid. Their eyes widen at the sight of biscuits, shaped like Joyeuse with two variations in frosting designs for their respective swords, filling the tin to the brim.

"Wha—there's so much! How long did this take you?!" Charlie exclaims.

Her response is a simple finger to her lips, her grin growing smug.

"It's a secret."

And so the day goes off without a hitch. There wasn't anything they had to worry about; she would have accepted any gift from them. But from how she seemed to savour every crumb, it's clear she treasured this specific gift.

End note: I know the dialogue about the roll cake was in the first ending of Extella Link and not the true ending, but let's just say he has memories of all the endings. If the memories of Servants in FGO can be inconsistent, then I should be allowed this even just once <3

[sunny-speaks]

Househusband Harper Headcanons

Hello, hello !! I am going to be redoing some blog design stuff when I WORK UP THE MOTIVATION-- so if the blog name changes, y’all know why!!

Anyway, I've been deep diving for Harper crumbs to accurately write him as one does. (gotta get everything lore accurate, would not be able to live with a too OOC in any of my fictional literature./hj)

AND I KNOW HE WOULD RATHER HAVE YOU BE THE AT-HOME PERSON AND WHATNOT while he works but hear me out… He would be such a good househusband, alright? AUHG- Everything's under the cut, lol.

also Harper is from @campwillowpeak !! I can remove the tag btw, if you don't wanna be tagged in further works ;-;

So maybe the two of you had been married for years. Doesn’t make Harper feel any less happy when you introduce him to people as your husband or when he sees the ring on your hand that he bought for you before you leave the house, it always leaves him with a tingly feeling.

After all, now you’re his. And doesn’t that sound just lovely?

Harper’s got that side job of his to keep the both of you financially stable, as long as you don’t ask too many questions about it.

He doesn’t understand why you need to go work, when the two of you could be comfortable at home from his profits.

Especially when he has more than enough to keep you happy with him!

But if that’s what his partner wants, who is he to deny you?

He’s always anxious to let you leave the house, you’re so magnificent, what if on your way home, some creep tries to hit on you?

He knows you wouldn’t cheat on him and that you can defend yourself, but… but wouldn’t it be safer to just be at home with you?

Or worse, what if one of your coworkers, god forbid your boss, tried to… coerce you into something!

He knows you always wear your wedding ring, and he made sure that it was shiny enough to show people how much he loved you. (Material objects could never dare to show anyone how much he loved you. He loves you sooo much and he knows you love him too !)

But there are a lot of ignorant people out there! 

If you let him, Harper's be more than glad to mark you up, stake his claim so your peers know exactly who you’re married to.

“Cara miaaa,” Your husband looked up at you with wide, pleading, unfaltering eyes, “You said your coworkers were giving you trouble, right?” He’d practiced saying it without violently cursing out your coworkers. You wouldn’t like it if he was mean about them… Even if it was true.

“Unfortunately, yeah. They can’t take a hint, even with this.” You gestured to your wedding ring. “I don’t get how it’s so hard for them to understand I’m a faithful spouse…”

And with that, Harper set his plan into action. “Y’know… we could do something a bit more drastic, if you wish, dear?”

Your eyes glinted with a hint of mischief. “And what would that be, Harp?” You had a vague idea what he was hinting at, but you wanted to hear him say it.

“Mm, just showing them how much I looove you… and maybe biting you.” He muttered the last part to himself, a light flush making its way to his face. He had not prepared too much on how to convince you.

“You mind giving me a little preview?” You sat yourself down on the couch and beckoned him towards you with a finger.

“Not at all, cara mia.”

But there are some pros to being alone when you’re gone!

Harper being your dutiful househusband means he can and will do anything and everything for you !

(And indulge himself in certain activities while you’re gone)

He also has complete control over everything you sleep in, you eat, you wear.

So if you notice some odd stains on your clothes or weird tastes in your food, he doesn’t know what you’re talking about ! Do you not like the food he spent so much time preparing? Or the laundry he did to take a load off your back ?

It’s not his fault he gets so lonely when you’re gone ! It’s just because he misses you so much !

You should just quit your job, you know? It’s so dangerous ! That boss of yours was targeted by an arsonist ! (Because he had the nerve to try and touch you.) Gosh, what if you were next ?! (Harper would never do that to you though… <3)

You should just listen to your husband, he’s so worried for you ! Won’t you pleaaase hear him out?

[sunsetno4]

I spent most of yesterday just redoing and playing around with Jayne and Lulu’s main saves, and it was a blast~

While Jayne already had the crown for my most unwell and messiest Sidestep, it has gotten so so much worse. :’)! He’s always had the most detached relationship with his puppet, and I was debating if it would get better with this ran. Jayne likes dolls and puppets after all, but nay. Puppet dating Ortega just makes Jayne actively want to push them in front of a bus. Jealous? Never. Nope.

This isn’t helped by the fact they share a name either, I’m sure. Jayne, stop playing yourself, I beg you.

I’ve also never seen the cracked existential crisis on the roof scene before, and getting it with Jayne was a just a Treat! Loved it! Absolute in the gutters and he just keeps digging himself deeper because, like, what else can he do. :’)

And I’ve absolutely been craving to draw Lulu’s armor too, mainly because I keep picturing it like a bulky and vaguely insect-y xenomorph and my brain just wants to see more for that. c:

Ortega is like ‘Lulu can’t be Heartbreak. Heartbreak is terrifying. Lulu once cried because Wei killed a bug in front of them and didn’t talk to him for four months after. Lulu isn’t terrifying. It’s Lulu.’

Meanwhile, Lulu is breaking minds and breaking necks to their heart’s content~ 🥰

[fulloflambing]

just yap about my most recent work (how i made it, the alternate plots or endings), and my future posts :D

writing that story took soooo much brain juice from me i feel like my brain has become a wringed sponge. im honestly rlly proud i managed to finish it😭

ive had writing experience before here on tumblr but i never rlly put alot of effort into it and it often made me feel bad about how i finished my stories. i always just thought about a vague plot, typed away, and posted it. some people enjoyed it n i was grateful for that but whenever id reread my own stories it would make me criticize myself and make me unmotivated to write, which eventually made me delete my old writeblr.

but ever since i've come back, and especially with 'heaven can wait', i rlly took my time to rewrite things i didnt find fitting. ive stopped writing just to post, but writing to actually enjoy and better my skills. im honestly proud of myself for taking the time to do that because i am, truthfully, a very impatient person n i hate redoing things. actually, i rewrote the story by like the 3.5k word mark TWICE and made sure i was truly happy with it. the plot was actually supposed to go two ways!:

kinich would find reader in their home, and they could comfort eachother real quick in the house before kinich escorted them to the survival shelter. kinich would then make a promise to reader to come back alive and boom boom fighting wham he comes back to them and boom emotional reunion!

^ i changed my mind halfway while writing this because i wanted the story to have more depth and to make it more about reader and kinich both experiencing grief and negative emotions more. this plotline was just too lovey dovey and chill for my liking.

2. kinich reunites with the reader in the end by finding her dead asleep in the tribe's infirmary.

^ i didnt like this ending because i felt like it would've been a boring climax to the heavy emotions of reader as she was separated from kinich thinking he was dead. does that make sense? like it felt like a boring way to end off y/n's part after building up all these negative thoughts swirling in their mind just for her not to even see kinich come back from war to have those negative thoughts be swooped away from her in a romantic light. it was cute tho, kinich would've been whispering 'im home' as he admired reader as they recovered but i didnt want a calm ending for the story. i wanted a passionate, emotional reunion type :) like very 'light after the storm'-esque type of ending!

some parts of the story i dont like but i feel like is the part i could do for the story was how mavuika defeated the abyss? i CANT WRITE ACTION FOR SHYT!!!! so it took so much deleting and rewriting and paraphrasing it actually got me a headache just to write that small section 😭😭

on a more exciting note, the next thingy ill write is probably for kinich's birthday! im very torn about what ill write and when ill write it because i have exams right after kinichs bday so i dont think ill have time to write for it.

but after i figure out and post a birthday special for kinich, i'll be writing a more angsty, heartbroken-y story kind of related to 'heaven can wait' but if things went wrong. its really not an alternate ending, more of like "if it ended this way, this would've happened." its been a plot thats been marinating in my head for awhile and i think you guys will rlly like it! its gonna be angst with comfort but still sad ending hihi sorry.

i have alot of canon fanfic ideas that i wna write as soon as possible but i feel like i should switch it up and write some modern!au fics. and maybe with other characters (my other favs! capitano, xiao, thoma, etc.). i also feel like i have to prepare a 100 follower special soon but i have nooo idea what to do for it huhu THANK U BTW GUYS FOR 81 FOLLOWERS AAA IM SO TOUCHED

in short, i have a lot and i mean srsly alot of kinich ideas rn but my schedule is gonna be cramped this week. but after ill be free again! my problem is i just dont know what to write first 😔💔

anyway, maybe ill do a poll or something :) ILL SEE WHAT I CAN DO!!

if you've read this far, thank u sm and i appreciate it >< ill do my best to write as much as i can.

[nukenai]

So I love chatting with vendors at cons, especially TFCon. They're always Cool Dudes in their 40s/50s who have been collecting Transformers since the dawn of time and they like meeting fellow weirdos, especially younger people. Especially absolute freaks like me who run up dressed like Rodimus while wearing booty shorts.

I was at this one booth and I was looking for a specific figure so I asked if he thought he had it - he said maybe, so I started to look. I shuffled through my purse and vaguely held up my Drift figure, and said "it's for him", like haha joke. (Looking for Jetstorm)

He instantly made a confused face and said, "I don't recognize that Drift". And I said oh, he's the regular American deluxe release, I just repainted him. He asked very politely if he could see him. GOD HERE WE GO

I've had lots of people go "Wow that's really cool! Great job!" about my repaints and custom stuff and I appreciate the comments so much. I don't have much confidence in anything I do, but I am very passionate about when I do custom stuff to toys or Gunpla.

THIS MAN. He was legitimately stunned. He told me my Drift repaint was amazing, and the detail work was incredible. I very shyly thanked him and said I customized my little Fixit, too, and he went NUTS WHEN HE HELD HIM. Then he literally CALLED HIS FRIEND OVER and said "Hey man, come here! You have to see this Fixit she painted!"

The three dudes at the table were legitimately gawking at my, I thought "pretty good, but took a lot of time because I'm obsessed so there's A Lot" repaints. Fixit in particular he was VERY impressed by, because I had filled in the indent in his chest. To be fair that was a nightmare but like omg? And he REALLY loved that I added the blue details to the wheels, and was impressed by my straight lines. I mentioned I totally disassembled Drift, painted the pieces individually, and put him back together, and the guy looked like I'd just shot him LMFAO. HE'S A VERY SIMPLE FIGURE IT'S NOT SUPER DIFFICULT...

So then he asked me the most insane question I've ever been asked in my life:

"Do you have a business card? Do you do this professionally, like as a paid job?"

UHHHHH EXCUSE ME SIR I JUST ADDED DETAILS TO MY ORANGE HUSBANDS AND MADE ONE OF THEM THE CORRECT(TM) ORANGE... HELLO...??????????

So I told him no. He asked if I had a website where I posted them, or social media. I mentioned how I started using my Instagram for that stuff but got lazy and forgot and I just share reels all day. The guy insisted I take HIS business card, in case I was ever looking for parts, or things to customize... He really wanted a place to go see more of my work, and I was very sorry to tell him that I am not actually someone who really knows what I'm doing... but I didn't totally deflect the compliments. I was so unbelievably thankful and told him that no one had EVER reacted this way to my work before. (even saying "my work" is bizarre like it's just a thing I do... it's not My Thing...)

He joked about wanting me to paint some of his minis, LOL, and I said a lot of my friends do that but that's kinda beyond my scope. I started when I was disappointed with a lack of details in some of my figures, like my TMNT 2012 Metalhead, but then I was like. I can add some black on his shell. I can fix him up... and it kinda spiraled. My second significant custom was turning my Stegosaurus Chase figure show-accurate. You can tell it's an early one bc it's ROUGH and I almost wanna get another one to redo and compare...

Buuuut anyways. He was legitimately having customers look at my stuff and one guy wanted to show his wife. I was deeply confused but extremely flattered.

Then a 20 year old kid I had talked to about RiD earlier found a Drift I didn't have (the one that fucking launches his children across the room), and I laughed and said I'd take it. Table guy said "For you it's half price, 5 bucks!"

Then he gave me a Rodimus Robot Heroes for free. And one of those old blind bag figures of Drift for a dollar.

This was one of like 20 amazing interactions I had just in the dealer room. I wound up buying THREE NEW DRIFT FIGURES because I am EXTREMELY NORMAL AND COOL ABOUT HIM

I mentioned this in an earlier post but it got to the point where I rounded a corner and a random fucking guy ran over to me, brandishing a Drift figure, and called out "ARE YOU THE PERSON LOOKING FOR RID DRIFT?" and I was like OH MY GOD?? I HAVE THAT ONE BUT THANK YOU??? WHAT??? and he was like OKAY I HAD TO MAKE SURE! and ran away and I never saw him again. I have no idea who that guy was. He was not working a table he was shopping.

But I am The Rodimus Woman Looking For RiD Drift, For Some Reason now, I guess.

What a fucking con

it's 2am goodnight