#(hes so chonky i love him and just had to include a full shot)

[aroaceart]

@heropartnerweek Day 5 - Dreams

If Sorrel dreamed during her time flowerless (and let's be real, probably after that too), it'd be this.

(Sorrel and her teammates Nova and Astrid are from my fic Severed Link!)

Bonus below the cut: sleepy Nova!

What's he dreaming about?

[theyearoftheking]

Book Sixteen: The Talisman

If there were ever the time to lose yourself in a dense, chonky fantasy novel... this is the time. I don’t want to admit how many hours were spent cuddling with my dogs and reading The Talisman this week. It was my favorite way to escape the insanity of the world right now.

To be clear, I don’t believe social distancing, and the cancelling of the entire world is insane. I’m speaking more to the people with their bunkers full of toilet paper and canned pears; stocking up on ammo, preparing to fight their governments. Just... stop. Color some pictures with your kid. Rake your yards. Have a beer and play Scrabble with your spouse. Crack open a book. Live your damn life without fear of what could happen next week! 

Ok, rant over. But seriously, keep washing those hands and social distancing yourselves. 

This was my second read of The Talisman, and it remains one of my all-time favorite books. Not just Steve books, but book-books in general. Like with The Stand, I’m going to give the most abridged, bastardized review ever... because there’s just too much to cram into one post. And I’m not ambitious enough to stretch it into two.  

Jack Sawyer (fun fact, the names of two of my favorite humans... Jack was my Grandfather, and Sawyer is my daughter) finds himself chilling at The Alhambra Inn and Gardens in New Hampshire with his mother, Queen of the B movies, Lily Sawyer. They’re on the run from the incessantly ringing phone, and constant calls from “Uncle” Morgan Sloat, who was Jack’s dead dad’s business partner. Spoiler: Uncle Morgan is a bad man. 

A word about The Alhambra... what initially pulled me into this book was the fact the old, abandoned hotel, beach, boardwalk and amusement park reminded me SO MUCH of Old Orchard Beach, Maine. When Steve (and Pete. I call him Pete) are describing the horses on the carousel, and the rickety old boardwalk, “This is where the world ends, right?” 

All the nostalgic feels of summers spend in OOB on the beach. Reading these pages, I could almost feel the crunchy beach towels, smell clam strips and fried dough, taste the cocktails I smuggle into my not-at-all suspicious Yeti mug... ALL THE FEELS!! 

And now a word about Lily Sawyer. One of the most memorable details about Lily is her “elementary martini,” which I will now describe for anyone who might need a cocktail during these challenging times. I’m pretending to be a homeschooling mom, so I’m going to take a hard pass. But we have Facetime Cocktail Time with friends tonight, so I might have to have one then. 

“Ice in a glass. Olive on ice. Tanqueray gin over olive... Then, you take a bottle of vermouth- any brand- and hold it against the glass. Then you put the vermouth back on the shelf and bring the glass to me.” 

Lily is spending a lot of time in bed, avoiding the phone, and fighting some kind of illness, which leaves Jack to his own devices. One day while Jack is out exploring, he makes the acquaintance of one Speedy Parker, the maintenance man at the amusement park. Speedy refers to Jack as, “Travelin’ Jack” which is what Jack’s dad used to call him when he was younger. But it’s more than just a cute nickname, it refers to the fact Jack can travel between our world, and The Territories, a Game of Thrones-esque medieval world. Speedy explains Laura DeLoessian, the Queen of the Territories is dying, and only Jack can save her by rescuing The Talisman. Laura is Lily Sawyer’s doppelganger, and if Jack saves Laura, he can also save his sick mother. Jack’s reluctant, but knows he has no other choice. Speedy hands him a vial of mysterious traveling juice that allows Jack to travel between worlds, and he’s off.

The journey is a long one, and filled with some of the best characters ever, as well as some of the worst baddies. And all their Territories doppelgangers. I’m not going to lie, it’s a lot of people to keep track of. No shade if you need to develop a spreadsheet to keep track of everyone. The OCD freak in me immediately regrets NOT creating a spreadsheet... 

My hands-down favorite character (other than Jack Sawyer) is Wolf, a well, Wolf, that Jack meets in The Territories. When they are under attack from Morgan Sloat’s Territories Twin, Jack flips him and Wolf into our world. Wolf does not adjust well. He hates the way everything smells, he can’t be in a confined space, and oh! I forgot to mention... he’s also a werewolf. I’ll talk more about Wolf’s character arch later on when I get to Sunshine Gardener. 

Everyone loves an evil character, and The Talisman has no shortage of them. My favorite Talisman baddies included Smokey Updike and Sunshine Gardener, 

Smokey owns Updike’s Oatley Tap, and hires Jack to come and work for him. Jack is on the move across the country, and needs some cash in his pocket for food and shoes... because he’s been wearing them out an alarming rate. Walking across the country will do that to you. But the fact Smokey would hire a CHILD to haul beer kegs, and mop up vomit in bathrooms pretty much tells you what kind of winner he really is. To add to his charm, he has Jack sleep on a concrete floor, slaps him around, and deducts room and board from the meager amount he pays him every week. And he threatens Jack with calling the cops and reporting him as a runaway if he tries to leave. Jack can’t have that happen. His evil Uncle Morgan knows he’s flipping between worlds, and doesn’t want Jack to get The Talisman, so he’s in pursuit of his quasi-nephew. Sooo basically Smokey’s got Jack as an indentured servant. He’s charming. One night, Jack can’t take the vomit coated floors anymore, and takes off into the night, with the help of Speedy’s traveling juice. Adios, Oatley! 

Sunshine Gardener... there’s a villain who makes Smokey look like someone’s cuddly uncle. Sunshine is a televangelist who also runs Sunlight Home for wayward boys. Sunshine has a sweet deal going: local cops pick up runaway boys, and the judge sentences them to a stay at Sunlight Home. They get paid under the table for adding to the flock, and Sunshine gets to write it off on his taxes every year. Or something like that. He’s obsessed with Jack, and swears they’ve met before (they have. In The Territories. But Jack isn’t about to tell him that). He (and his little band of assholes) proceed to torture Jack, and try to get the truth out of him. Jack resists. Eventually, he and Wolf are caught in the bathrooms, trying to flip over to The Territories. They put Wolf in a coffin-like box in the backyard, where he eventually transforms into a werewolf and kills (almost) everyone in a bloody rage, before he’s shot. I’m not ashamed to admit I cried as Wolf died in Jack’s arms, telling him, “I...kept...my...herd...safe...” 

Yep, I’m bawling all over again. The concept of keeping the herd safe is so important right now. I want to kill these asshole kids on spring break, wanting to live their best life ever. Stop it, you entitled little bitches! Help to keep your herd safe! Social distancing won’t kill you! As my little family is tucked in with a refrigerator and freezer full of food, board games and books on the shelves, and a full wine cellar, all I can think about is keeping my herd safe. Ain’t nothing bringing me out of my house! Except my asshole beagle, who needs two walks a day, to prevent her from eating my dresser. 

Ultimately, Jack outsmarts his Uncle Morgan, gets The Talisman, this glowing ball of light from The Black Hotel; all the baddies get theirs, and Jack heals both his mother and Laura. And they all live happily ever after. Well, until Black House. But that’s a long ways off. 

The entire book is brilliant, and exactly the escape I needed. Steve and Pete are a lethal combination; they successfully weave together horror and fantasy, making you feel Jack’s struggle as if it were your own. You can tell they’re both students of the great Ray Bradbury, they write about the echos between worlds, which mirrored A Sound of Thunder. “...it suggested that just by being over here he could be doing something terrible in the other world. Starting World War III? No, probably not. He hadn’t assassinated any kings lately, young or old. But how much had it taken to set up the echo?” 

Also, their author photo cracks me up. It looks like an IBM promotional shot from the 1980′s or something. 

There were no Wisconsin references, but the book was one, big, underlying Dark Tower reference. There was talk of trains (Blaine, y’all!). Jake and his friend Richard refer to each other as chums (lobstrosities... shudder!). A building named Rainbird Towers collapses (collapsing towers. Duh). I can’t wait to get to the other books in the series. 

Total Wisconsin Mentions: 14

Total Dark Tower References: 10

Book Grade: A+

Rebecca’s Definitive Ranking of Stephen King Books

The Talisman: A+

Different Seasons: A+

The Shining: A-

The Stand: A-

The Dead Zone: B+

‘Salem’s Lot: B+

Carrie: B+

Creepshow: B+

Cycle of the Werewolf: B-

Danse Macabre: B-

The Gunslinger: C+

Pet Sematary: C+

Firestarter: C+

Cujo: C-

Nightshift: C-

Christine: D

Next up is Skeleton Crew. We all know how I feel about short stories, but it might be a nice palate cleanser after the denseness (is that a word? Spellcheck didn’t flag it, so we’re going to go with YES) that was The Talisman. 

Long Days & Pleasant Nights, Rebecca