#(he saw them kill his sister n is terrified)

[vanilladella]

my players psychologically tortured n bullied every townsperson they came across EXCEPT the women. the women they flirted w shamelessly

[pathologicalreid]

and it feels like home | s.r.

in which Spencer confesses his love to you at the oddest of places - your sister's wedding

margovember

who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: fluff content warnings: could be angst if you know what's coming next, jareau!reader, down bad!spencer, yearning, reader feels unlovable, spencer drinks champagne, reader does not drink, reader is shorter than spencer, reader wears a dress and heels word count: 1.93k a/n: and just like that, margovember is over (i have one more request for it technically but it's an episode rewrite so that'll take me longer to write). i was in need of some good yearning - this covers a request for their first kiss and for a fic with francesca by hozier levels of yearning.

You allowed yourself to be led away from the party. The past twenty-four hours had been amassed of you running around like a headless chicken, trying to put together your sister’s one-step-below shotgun wedding. Now that the party was in full swing, you willingly followed Spencer through the garden, a few remaining speeches going on in the background as the two of you rounded a corner, out of sight of party guests. “If I didn’t know you, I’d think you were leading me away from everyone to kill me,” you said offhandedly, adjusting the way your shawl fell over your shoulders.

Instead of looking up at Spencer, your eyes homed in on the way he was holding your hand as if he were about to lift it and press a kiss to your knuckles. Butterflies flurried in your stomach at the thought, but you quickly dewinged them, trying to focus on the issue at hand.

Something was wrong with Spencer; you could see it in the way he was shaking his hands. It looked like he was trying to get excess water off of them or if there was energy trying to exit via his fingertips. You were worried about him, sometimes he fidgeted when he was craving—though you’d only seen him in that state once before and you couldn’t ascertain what would have triggered him.

“I have to talk to you,” he repeated the same words that he’d told you when he first took your hand back at the gazebo. He had to be preparing to tell you something awful, you could tell from the way he wouldn’t meet your eyes when you finally glanced up at him. Deep brown irises flittered around, noticing each small detail that you and Dave had plotted out, but he never noticed you.

The blue dress that you had picked out to go well with the flowers and your hair was previously pinned to perfection but had since fallen out while you tried to sort out a last-minute issue with the caterers, but he didn’t seem to take mind of any of it. For better or for worse, you supposed. “What do you need, Spence?” You asked him, cocking your head and trying not to notice the twinkle in his eye when you called him ‘Spence.’ You promised yourself months ago that you’d stop waiting for someone who would never want you back.

You just couldn’t seem to get away from Spencer Reid.

It wasn’t that you saw yourself as undesirable, but a small part of yourself was under the impression that if he hadn’t made a move yet, it was never going to happen. He knew too much about you; he’d been the one to pick you up off of the floor when your last relationship fell apart. You wondered if he felt the same way, recalling the night you spent on his bathroom floor because you were terrified of finding a needle in his vein.

“Are you seeing anyone?” Spencer finally spoke, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking at you nervously. You eyed him curiously, the question faintly reminiscent of something a man would ask you if he were making small talk.

Foolishly, you had thought that you and Spencer had been well past small talk at this point, “No,” you answered, dragging out the vowel. “You already knew that, though,” You had talked to him about it last night when the subject of weddings came up, naturally.

He nodded in confirmation, “Right, yeah. Yes, I just needed to make sure before I started this conversation.” Spencer glanced over his shoulder as if he were being watched, or maybe he wanted to make sure no one saw the two of you in close vicinity.

You squinted at him, trying to get a feel for what he wanted to talk about without outwardly profiling him. “What conversation?” You asked, feeling like you were enveloped in a spiraling line of questioning—like you’d never get a straightforward answer.

“Do you remember this time last year? We’d just finished that sex trafficking case, and we were finishing paperwork late in the office, and you asked me if I’d ever been in love,” he said, panting like he was running a marathon. “I told you no, and at the time that was the truth. However, the circumstances have changed.”

Your stomach flipped, surging well past butterflies at this point as your face warmed—what was he trying to say?

He finally dropped your hand, resorting to placing each of his hands on your waist, stopping you from pulling away. Spencer felt impossibly close to you, even though the two of you had irrefutably been closer together, but not even an embrace would match up with the look he was giving you now. “I couldn’t let myself love you, not while you were in a relationship. It felt cruel to me, and it felt cruel to you because you had a boyfriend. It feels like we’ve already lived a lifetime together when we’ve never truly been together,” he told you, gently squeezing your waist as he spoke animatedly.

Instinctively, you took a step back from him, your breathing faltered slightly when you saw hurt flash in his eyes, “Why?” Your voice was no more than a breath, an appalled, exasperated breath. “Why here? Why now, Spence? We’re at my sister’s wedding,” you placed a hand on your chest “Please, can we talk about this tomorrow?”

Spencer was shaking his head before you’d even finished speaking, “No, it has to be now. I need to do this now,” desperation crept into his tone as he stepped forward, practically caging you against the siding of Rossi’s mansion.

You didn’t feel trapped, though, even with Spencer’s arms on either side of you, he was still Spencer. “Why now, Spence?” You peered up at him through your mascara-covered lashes. Maybe this was a consequence of his environment, surrounded by an evening that was sure to involve declarations of love, so he elected to make one of his own with you as a victim.

“Because I thought you were in that building,” he said exasperatedly, wide brown eyes watching you as if the answer had been completely obvious the entire time.

Realization dawned over you as you recalled the events from a few days ago: the bank robbery turned explosion that somehow ended in a marriage proposal. You chewed on the inside of your cheek as you eyed Spencer curiously, “You thought I’d gotten hurt.”

Spencer sighed, “I thought you were dead.” His eyes were trained on yours like there was nothing else in the world for him to look at, “For a moment, I lived my worst nightmare because I didn’t know if you were dead or alive, and I was stuck in Quantico with no way to reach you.”

Everything about the explosion was hazy, everyone was shouting for someone else, and you thought you’d imagined someone calling your name. You’d convinced yourself you were hearing things, some sort of after effect of the blast, but Spencer had been looking for you. “Spence,” you whispered, unable to gather the words you were so desperately searching for.

He shrugged helplessly, “I can’t go another day without telling you I love you.”

You felt like you were being stabbed in the chest repeatedly, unsure if you were on the verge of laughter or tears. “You never showed… I didn’t think—”

“You’re the only person I’ve ever met who I have a hard time reading, and I thought… I thought that if I waited for you someday, you’d realize that you love me too. I sat and I waited, and I helped you get over your ex and I am so grateful for you and your friendship, but it’s not enough for me,” he told you, no longer panting. This was Spencer completely levelheaded, emphatically declaring his love for you. “I need more of you and I can’t wait any longer.”

Eventually, the jig would be up. Someone would jump out from the bushes, and they’d let you know that you were indeed being Punk’d, but right now you were just looking into the eyes of someone who loved you. It would seem that no one else had ever truly loved you before, because the look Spencer was giving you could only be defined as love, yet it was unfamiliar to you. “You love me?” You asked, your voice no more than a whisper.

His Adam’s apple bobbed as he looked at you, “I love you in ways that no one has ever loved anyone before, I’m sure of it.”

“Okay,” you breathed, eyes studying his expression for any hint of regret.

“Would you allow me that?” He stepped away, dropping his arms at his side, “I know I cornered you tonight, and it’s perfectly fine if you don’t have an answer for me tonight, but I’d wait years for you if that’s what it took.”

You were shaking your head as you took the opportunity to step toward him, propping yourself up on your tiptoes and pressing your lips to his, the picture-perfect moment for the two of you. Perhaps you startled him at first because it took him a moment to wrap his arms around you, the muscles in his forearms flexing as he pulled your body flush with his.

His lips tasted like champagne, and the soft tinge of the alcohol on your mouth only served to intoxicate you further, even though you yourself didn’t drink from a flute.

The universe had a funny way of working in your favor, and this time, it had given you your first meeting with Spencer almost four years ago. You had nearly two years of friendship under your belt now, which is why it was so easy for you to pull away from him slightly, grinning against his lips as you whispered, “I love you too.”

Spencer kissed you again, moving one of his hands to gently cup your jaw, moving his velvet soft lips against yours with purpose and care. Your arms were thrown over his shoulders, elbows crossing at the nape of your neck to support you. You’d have to get used to the height difference, and you’re sure you will.

“Hey, Y/N,” Someone called out, and the two of you bolted away from each other like opposite charges, “I think it’s about time to cut the cake, your— Oh.”  

It seems the two of you did not move fast enough, for you were now faced with Emily and her knowing gaze. Your eyes flickered over to Spencer just briefly before you looked back at Emily, “Okay,” you responded to her, your voice hoarse, “I’ll let the caterers know.” You started your trudge to the backyard, picking up your feet so your heels wouldn’t dig into the grass. “Are you coming?” You turned and faced Spencer; a watercolor pink brushed across his cheeks.

“I’ll be right there,” he answered, giving you a soft, patented Spencer smile.

You looked nervously over at Emily, dreading the fact that this thing between you and Spencer was barely fledgling and the team was already going to be aware. “You know,” she started, and you braced yourself for the teasing, “London’s a pretty good place to keep a secret.”

Mouthing a thank you to her, the two of you stepped forward, turning around only when Spencer called out your name one last time, “Save me a dance?”

You laughed slightly at the dopey grin he bore on his face before nodding, “For you? Always.”  

[delulujuls]

so cold | house of the dragon

hi, if you haven't watched s02e02 of hotd yet and you don't want spoilers, then please don't scroll below. but feel free to hit a heart button if you wanna came back later and check on this one.

all rights to ideas used here belongs to george r.r. martin, hbo and warner bros, i just added a bit to them from myself. title is inspired by so cold by ben coaks. also, in this one reader is viserys' fifth child, older than helaena but younger than aemond, aegon and rhaenyra.

summary: targaryens started falling into madness forgetting that they are family and a strong family needs love, not war

warnings: death of a child, murder, explaining of a killing

pairing: sister!reader x rhaenyra targaryen x aegon targaryen (ft. daemon the troublemaker)

Young mother cradled child in her arms, rocking her gently to sleep. She lovingly pressed her daughter to her chest, softly humming under her breath. The girl slept, nestled against her mother, who couldn't bear to let her go. She feared that if her daughter left her embrace, something terrible might happen to her.

Someone will hurt her like they hurt her beloved boy.

"Your grace, you should rest," one of the maids whispered, preparing the queen's chamber for the night.

At one point, the young woman didn't hear her words, staring into the candle flame and lightly rocking her daughter in her arms. After a moment, she looked up at the servant and, realizing she had momentarily lost touch with reality, only sniffed and nodded. She carefully laid the girl in bed, covering her with a blanket. She gently sat next to her, hastily wiping herself her tear-streaked cheeks. Young queen placed a hand on her daughter's head, tenderly stroking it.

"Your grace," the maid began again, trying to encourage her to rest, but the she didn't let her finish "Stay with her until I return, alright?"

She asked, but it sounded more like a command. Y/N lifted her gaze to the maid, who nodded quickly. The young queen glanced at her daughter one last time, leaning down to give her a gentle kiss on the forehead. She adjusted the blanket on her one last time and then stood up. The maid immediately took her place. She didn't look at the sleeping girl, but at her mother, who quickly put on a cloak and hood over her nightgown.

"Where are you going, my lady?" the maid asked softly, nervously clutching her apron. She knew there were two guards outside the queen's chamber, and no other entrance to it. Yet, she was terrified of the responsibility the woman was placing on her, leaving her child in her care, after everything that happened not so long ago.

"I need some fresh air," she replied, wiping her wet cheeks again. Despite her whisper, her voice was firm. "I'll be back shortly. You're safe here."

The maid nodded and watched the young queen leave. She disappeared behind heavy doors guarded by two knights of the Royal Guard, who straightened up as soon as they saw her.

"Your grace," one greeted her, about to ask where she was going, noticing her attire suggested an outing. However, she cut him off. "I need some fresh air before sleep. Until I return, there's a maid inside with Jaehaera. Let no one inside, and if anyone asks, I'm asleep."

She announced, scanning their faces to ensure they understood her words. The knights nodded and bowed, because who were they to deny the queen leaving the castle, especially in her current state? Each of the three people Y/N informed of her departure assumed the young queen would take a short stroll around the castle or stop in one of the gardens to clean her mind before going to bed. However, Y/N was heading to the Dragonpit, not even thinking about going to sleep any time soon.

When she arrived, the dragons immediately sensed her presence. Feeling her sadness and grief, they murmured softly, with their gaze following her steps toward Vermithor. The old dragon knew where he would have to fly before she even appeared inside. He would fly to Dragonstone.

The cold, night wind swept tears from the young queen's cheeks as she sat on the back of the Bronze Fury. She realized she didn't actually know what to say when she will arrive to the castle. Would the guards even let her in? Would Rhaenyra want to talk? Maybe Daemon was nearby on Caraxes, wanting to attack her?

However, no one attacked her from the air, and when she landed, no one awaited her with an army. As she reached the castle gates, she removed her hood, letting her white hair fell over her shoulders.

"Your grace," the guards bowed, but they would have lied if they claimed her appearance didn't shock them.

"I want to talk to Rhaenyra," she announced, looking at their faces. Seeing her swollen eyes and wet cheeks, they didn't even dare ask if she was armed. Before them was a grieving mother who didn't want war. She wanted explanations.

When Rhaenyra was awakened and informed of her sister's visit, she quickly went to the main hall, barefoot and in her nightgown. She felt like she was still dreaming and her mind was playing tricks on her, but when she saw her sister accompanied by two guards, she realized the reality. Sisters looked at each other in silence, unsure of what to say and how to begin. Rhaenyra felt a lump in her throat when she saw in what state Y/N was. She felt like she was looking at her reflection from a few weeks ago when she herself mourned her son's death. Y/N's eyes welled with tears again. She hadn't seen Rhaenyra for so long.

"Nyra-," she began, but her voice broke. The older woman started towards her, but a guard stopped her with a hand gesture.

"Your grace, we don't know-," "She's my sister," she said firmly, glaring at him. She passed the young knight and approached the girl, whom she immediately hugged. As soon as she closed her in her arms, Y/N began to sob. Rhaenyra held her tightly, feeling her own tears burning beneath her eyelids.

"They killed my boy," she cried, clenching her fists on Rhaenyra's robe. "They killed my angel, who did nothing wrong. Why? Why did they kill one of the two most innocent people in this cursed castle?"

Rhaenyra had no answer to any of her questions. Even if she wanted to say something, she couldn't, being completely out of words. She hugged her sister, who trembled in her arms. Despite her heavy cloak and cape, she felt her body shaking.

Still embracing young queen, Rhaenyra led her to one of the couches where they sat together. She held her hands tightly as she tried to sort out what she wanted to say. Y/N had no idea what to say either, she just wanted to rid herself of all the pain no one in the castle cared about. No one wanted to listen to her, no one even wanted to hug and comfort her; everyone needed to be heard and comforted as well. Of all the people, Y/N could only come to Rhaenyra, who was now an enemy to all of King's Landing. However, for the young queen, she was not an enemy but a sister and a mother who had recently mourned the death of her child, too. No one could understand her better.

"They cut off his little head as if he were a worthless pig," she said bitterly, staring into the flame dancing in the fireplace. Rhaenyra saw that Y/N still had her dead son's body before her eyes, and she knew that the sight would stay with her for a long time. She would give anything to relieve her pain.

"I've never seen such a small coffin. And it was still too big for him," Rhaenyra quickly wiped her wet cheeks herself, but it didn't gave much help.

"Instead of treating his funeral properly and with respect," Y/N began, but her voice broke. "Otto ordered a procession. They dragged him through the entire city along paths he was not even able to walk in his lifetime."

Despite the sadness, grief, and sympathy, Rhaenyra began to feel anger. The Hightowers turned the death of a child into a spectacle to portray them as victims and her as a murderer. It wasn't even about deciding to condemn her even more; it was the fact that they used the tragic death of an innocent child for it.

"He said Alicent and I should take part in the procession so that people would sympathize more. She…she-," young queen began to sob, to which Rhaenyra hugged her tightly. "When I said I didn't want to, she declared it was my duty. It wasn't my duty, was it?"

"Of course not," she answered, stroking her head. Rhaenyra's tears soaked her sister's hair as she hugged her. "You didn't deserve this, Y/N. I'm so sorry."

The young queen cried in her arms, and Rhaenyra continued to hug her tightly. All she could do at the moment was provide her with a little comfort, which she was so eager for. Y/N herself had not been a child so long ago and now she had to deal with such suffering.

After a while, when the wave of despair passed, Y/N moved away from her sister and looked at her face, desperately seeking explanations.

"What actually happened, Nyra?"

"There was a mistake," a voice came from the corner before Rhaenyra was even able to open her mouth to speak. When Daemon came out of the shadows, Rhaenyra hugged her sister tighter and gave him a fierce look.

"You have no right to be here," she said sharply, but her voice trembled on the last spoken word.

"I have the right to explanations," he replied calmly, looking at her and then at his niece. The young queen looked at him in silence, finally wanting to know the truth. The pain could be devastating, but she knew that moving forward would require it.

"Why-," she began, biting her lip painfully. She didn't want to cry in front of him. "Why did they kill my little boy?"

"Aemond was supposed to die," he said, approaching. "Son for son."

Y/N shook her head in disbelief, snuggling into her sister. She couldn't look at her uncle.

"They didn't find Aemond, but they found you and your children-" "That's enough," Rhaenyra interrupted sharply. "Leave, now."

However, Daemon approached even closer, still looking at his niece. He knelt in front of her.

"There are no words to describe how sorry I am," he said quietly but firmly. "I'm so sorry Y/N, that you got caught up in this conflict. You and your children shouldn't be involved at all."

The young queen sniffled and looked at him tearfully. She felt a cold hand tighten around her throat, struggling to breathe because of what she heard.

"I'm sorry, Y/N," he repeated, this time looking her in the eye.

"How many more family members will I have to mourn for this madness to end?"

Rhaenyra kissed her temple and hugged her tightly. The three of them remained silent for an indefinite time. At one point, Y/N stood up, breaking free from her sister's embrace. She wiped her wet cheeks and took a deep breath.

"Aegon is angry and wants war," she began, looking around them. "But more than anger, it's grief that consumes him. He lost a child."

"We don't want war either," Rhaenyra assured, holding her hand. "The last thing I want is more death."

"I'll try to talk to him and appeal to his reason," she said, squeezing her sister's hand one last time. "I don't want any more death, too. This has to end."

She was about to leave, but Rhaenyra stood up and hugged her tightly one last time.

"I love you, bird," she whispered, holding her tightly. "I love you and I'm so sorry for all of this."

"I'm not your enemy," Y/N said softly, closing her eyes. "I'm your sister. And I too love you."

After a difficult farewell, the young queen returned to the castle. As she walked through the empty, silent corridors, she tried to be quieter than a mouse. However, as she passed Aegon's chambers, she heard sobbing. Her brother must have sent the guards away because there was no one at the entrance. The girl fought herself for a moment, but after a while she quietly entered the room. Aegon sat by the fireplace, leaning his elbows on his knees. He nervously rubbed his hands and his hair covered his face, but she could hear him crying.

Y/N still had her hand on the doorknob, unsure what to do or say. Since the news of their son's death, they has not spoken a word with each other.

"Aegon..." she began uncertainly, but he didn't react to her words at all. The girl left the door ajar and walked slowly to him, afraid of what she might expect from him.

"I just wanted to-" she didn't have the opportunity to finish, because he caught her around the waist and pulled her towards him, hugging her tightly. The young queen put one hand on his shoulder, the other stroking his head. She herself felt tears under her eyelids again.

"Why does this keep happening to us?" he asked, raising his head and looking at her from below. Aegon also desperately needed explanations that could help him digest the pain, but no one wanted to provide them to him. The girl touched his tear-stained cheek and wiped it off, shaking her head helplessly. She also didn't have an answer to the question that would haunt them for the next few weeks, months, maybe even years.

"I just wanted to be happy and have a loving family," he said, his voice breaking. "What did i do wrong?"

Y/N burst into tears again and sat on his lap, hugging him tightly. Aegon hugged her even tighter, ignoring her cloak and the smell of the night she brought with her into his chambers. At that moment, all he desperately needed was a little comfort and a silent assurance that everything would somehow work out.

She needed it, too.

Targaryens needed each other.

[cupidbedsy]

𝘀𝗮𝗳𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 | 𝘩𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴 ♔

➪ summary: after the first incident of her getting sick, her brothers are on high alert for when the time comes again. but what happens when they're all away and she gets sick when she's alone? | based on taylor swift's 'safe and sound'

➪ warnings: reader is sick, throwing up, blood, hospitals, swearing

➪ word count: 3.0k

➪ file type: song based fic

➪ sunny's notes: i have mixed feelings about this fic because... well if you know what happened with this you know what happened. i am extremely proud of it though especially because i wrote it in one night and the person who this is based off of absolutely loved it when i posted it the first time as well

© cupidbedsy (sunflower-lilac42) ; do not copy, repost, or translate my work and designs on any other website or here

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'I remember tears streaming down your face When I said I'll never let you go When all those shadows almost killed your light I remember you said don't leave me here along But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight'

She was five when she got severely sick the first time and she was terrified. She woke up feeling warm and cold at the same time, her throat was scratchy and dry, and her eyes were watery but she didn’t know if it was because she was scared or if it was just a reaction, and her energy was slim to nonexistent which was scared Ellen and Jim.

By now, their sons would’ve scooped the youngest child out of her bedroom and made their way downstairs to watch something on TV or just play with her. Yet, it was dead silent in the house. Ellen got up from the bed and peeked into each of her son’s rooms and was relieved to find that they were asleep still. 

She hoped the same for her daughter but when she walked into the room and saw her five-year-old in tears sitting on her bed, she rushed over.

“What’s wrong, honey?”

“Mommy!” She let out a loud cry alarming Jim and he came rushing in as well, not noticing the eldest Hughes child in tow. 

“Hey, sweetheart. I’m here, your brothers are still sleeping, let’s not wake them up. What’s wrong?”

“I don’t feel good.” She sniffled and quieted her voice.

Ellen picked her up and placed her daughter on her lap as she sat down, “Jim go get the-” 

Before she even finished, y/n leaned over and threw up, trying not to get it on Ellen, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, hon. Jim, go get the thermometer.”

Jim quickly walked out of the room, heading to the bathroom but got stopped as he ran into his son, “Quinn! Morning.”

“Dad, what’s wrong?”

“Your sister’s sick, it’s probably nothing.”

Quinn’s face went pale, “Is she okay? Does she have a fever? Is she throwing up?”

“Quinn! Calm down. I promise you, it’s probably just a little cold. You can go see her if you want, Mom is in there with her.”

Quinn walked into the room to see Ellen hugging y/n. He took one step and Ellen turned to him, “Hi, Quinn.”

“How is she?”

“It’s most likely just a cold. Y/n/n, look who’s here.” She directed her head to her son and pointed to him, “Quinny!”

She reached her arms out for him and Quinn gladly took her, placing her on his hip, “Hi baby bear.”

“I no feel good, Quinny.” Quinn nodded his head, “I know but we’re gonna make you feel better, okay?”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Jim walked back into the room, placing the thermometer under the girl’s tongue. Seconds later it beeped and Jim took it out of her mount, “40.6/104”

The parents sigh and start to walk out, “Quinn if you don’t mind can you get her ready quickly, we’re gonna need to go to the hospital.”

Quinn nodded his head and he walked over to his sister’s closet, “Whatcha wanna wear, sweetheart?” Y/n lazily pointed to her brown bear sweatshirt and snuggled her head back into her brother’s chest. Quinn got her ready and sat her on her bed so he could put her shoes on. 

“Quinny?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Are you going to leave me?”

“Of course, not y/n/n. I’m never going to let you go.”

Jack and Luke had both heard the rustling from outside their rooms and they both stepped out into the hallway, “What’s going on?”

Jack shrugged, “No clue, bro. I’m so tired.” The boy saw his sister’s door open and walked in there.

By now, Quinn was sitting on her bed and y/n was lying in his arms, “What’s going on?”

“She’s sick.” Jack and Luke immediately wake up at the news and rush over, spitting out questions left and right.

“She’s got a fever but that’s all I know right now. Mom and Dad are taking her to the hospital.”

“The hospital?!”

“I wanna go.” Luke protests just as their parents walk back into the room, fully dressed, “Oh, good morning you two.”

“Can we go with?”

“Guys, the three of you can’t come with.”

“Please, mommy.” Y/n’s little voice spoke up from her brother’s lap.

Ellen sighed, “Fine. But if you guys aren’t out there in five minutes, dressed, then we’re leaving without you.”

Ellen reached over and grabbed her daughter, the three of them heading out to the car to wait for their sons.

『••✎••』

In the hospital, Jim and Ellen were the only ones allowed to go back with her at least for now, and y/n let her voice be heard. She cried and cried until they relented and let one of them go back with the two. She reached for Quinn immediately and he nodded his head and followed behind his mom and sister, Jim staying with the other two. 

When they got home, the boys sat at the kitchen table as Jim tried to give y/n her medicine, “I don’t want to.”

“I know you don’t want to, honey, but you have to. Don’t you want to feel better?”

“Jacky.”

Jack’s head popped up from where he sat and looked at her, “Yeah?”

Y/n pointed to her medicine and then to Jack and glared, “You want Jack to give you your medicine?”

She nodded with purpose and Jim happily gave the medicine to his middle son, “All yours, Jack.”

Jack didn’t complain, it meant that she trusted him and he loved that feeling. Jack poured the liquid into the small cup to the correct fill line and put it near his sister’s mouth. She took it without a hassle and from the corner of his eyes he could see his father throw his hands up in defeat causing everyone to chuckle.

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

'Just close your eyes, the sun is going down You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound'

Later that night, y/n lay in bed by herself, looking at the wall. Her stomach hurt and she let out a barely audible whine. Luke, who happened to be walking by, heard it and peeked his head into the room, “You doing okay, baby bear?”

“No.”

Luke walked fully into the room and sat on his little sister’s bed, “What’s wrong?”

“Stomach. Will you stay with me?”

“Of course, I will.” Luke laid down next to her and she curled into him, “Thank you.”

Luke looked confused, “For what?”

“For making me feel safe. All three of you.”

Luke awed internally, trying not to let tears fall down his face, “No need to thank me for that.”

Five minutes passed and Jack and Quinn got down waiting for their brother, getting up to see where he was. When they saw him lying in y/n’s bed, they made their way over to them, “You guys okay?”

There was no answer as both of them had fallen asleep. Quinn told Jack to stay there as he walked out to grab some pillows and blankets and brought them back to him. The two made their makeshift beds on the ground and fell asleep not long after.

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

‘Don't you dare look out your window, darling, everything's on fire The war outside our door keeps raging on Hold onto this lullaby even when the music's gone, gone

Just close your eyes, the sun is going down You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound’

Ever since then, it was common that y/n had to go to the hospital. As the boys got older, they got more worried. They were busier, Quinn went to college and eventually, he and Jack made the NHL. Luke went off to college and this year he started his official rookie season with the Devils. 

However, it wasn’t as often that it happened when they were away, and if it did it wasn’t as bad as having to go to the hospital, just more or less the doctor’s office. They weren’t as worried about her when this happened, getting texts from either there or their parents and calling them to make sure she was okay.

This time was different. Ellen and Jim had run out to grab a few things for dinner and they left y/n at home alone, because she was 16 and was capable of being by herself. Yet, in hindsight, they probably shouldn't have. 

They had been gone for twenty minutes already and she thought they wouldn’t be much longer and she could hold on. But she couldn’t. Every couple of minutes it felt like she had a coughing attack, but this last one, blood came up with it. 

Wasting no time she dialed the first person that came up on her contacts, Luke. 

“Lukey.”

“Hey, y/n/n! What’s up?”

She was glad they didn’t have a game today, otherwise she’d be totally screwed. 

“Lukey, I’m scared.”

“You’re scared? Why? What’s wrong?” Luke stood up from his bed and made his way out of his room and towards Jack’s. 

He didn’t knock on the door before entering which left Jack to somewhat argue with him about knocking before entering, not that he was doing anything, but manners, you know? 

“It’s so bad. Really bad.”

“Well, where’s mom and dad? How bad are we talking?” Jack’s interest peaked at the mention of his parents and scrambled to sit next to his younger brother on his bed, motioning for him to put it on speaker. Luke pressed the button and pulled his phone away from his ear, waiting for the girl to talk. 

“They went out to grab-” She took a pause before coughing some more. Jack and Luke looked at each other worriedly, “Y/n?”

“Oh god. There’s more.”

“More what?” Jack inquired, nervousness settling at the bottom of his stomach, “More blood.”

The three were silent, y/n trying not to freak out and Jack and Luke trying not to freak her out. It was quiet for a couple of minutes before the oldest of the three-spoke up, “When are Mom and Dad going to be home?”

As soon as she went to say her answer the front door clicked and y/n rushed downstairs, “Dad! Mom!”

She threw her phone on the counter and Luke turned the volume all the way up in an effort to hear the conversation, “What? What’s wrong?”

“I threw up some blood.” 

“Oh my. Get in the car, I’ll meet you two there.” Jim rushed y/n to the car and Ellen ran around the house gathering a few things in case they were there for a while. 

Jack and Luke were freaking out, “Dad, what’s going on? Mom? Y/n?” Ellen spied her daughter’s phone on the counter and looked at it curiously seeing her son’s contact name on it, “Luke?”

“Mom, what is happening?”

“We’re taking her to the hospital. How long ago did she call you?”

“I don’t know like five minutes ago maybe?” Luke’s voice broke as he explained to his mom, Jack placing a hand on his back. 

“I want you to call, Quinn-”

“No!” Y/n interrupted her mom as she got into the passenger seat, “What do you mean no?”

“He has a game, please.”

“Honey, I think you are more important to him than the game. Let Luke and Jack call him.” Ellen’s voice was stern as Jim pulled out of the driveway.

“If you’re gonna call him, let me talk to him.”

Ellen, and the boys, went to protest but y/n’s face showed desperation, “Fine. We’ll call you two back when we have answers.”

“Don’t bother. We’re already packing.” 

As Ellen and y/n were squabbling, Jack ushered his younger brother to his room and told him to go back and he left his phone in his room. Jack pulled his suitcase out of his closet and was halfway finished packing when they acknowledged the two again.

“There’s no need-”

“You’re not winning this y/n/n. We’ll be there as soon as we can.”

Jack hung up and finished packing, meeting Luke and in ten minutes, they were on their way to the airport. 

Meanwhile, y/n had dialed Quinn’s contact, nervously chewing on her bottom lip. It was an hour before the game was supposed to start and she had no idea if he would actually answer or not, but to her luck, he did.

“Quinn.”

“Hey, y/n/n. What's up? Need help with some homework?”

“I’m going to the hospital.”

Quinn dropped his stick as he stood in the locker room, some of his teammates glancing at him worriedly, “What is it?”

“Same old, same old, but this-” Her sentence was interrupted by another coughing attack and Quinn could hear their mother telling her to take it easy in the background. 

“What do you mean it’s worse?” Quinn didn’t need her to finish the sentence for him to know what she meant.

Elias was standing next to him, a hand on his shoulder to ground him in case anything got out of hand, “I coughed up some blood.”

“You what?!” Quinn’s voice echoed through the clubhouse, “Quinn what’s wrong?”

The boy shushed his teammates, “Quinn, I’m probably fine-”

“If you’re coughing up blood you are not fine. Do Mom and Dad know? Do Jack and Luke?”

“Yes, Mom and Dad know, you idiot. Who do you think is taking me to the hospital? And yes the other two know, I already called them. I didn’t want to call you because you have a game.”

“I couldn’t care less about the game when my little sister calls and tells me she’s on the way to the hospital. Let me talk to coach, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Quinn, no-”

“Nope, la la la la. Blah blah blah. I’m coming. Give the phone to mom.”

“But-”

“No.”

Y/n reluctantly handed the phone to her mom but as she extended her hand, her arm dropped and the phone clattered to the ground. The only thing Quinn could hear was the faint yelling of his sister’s name from his mom. 

『••✎••』

Y/n was lying in the hospital bed when Jack and Luke watched the only show that was on this late at night, Family Feud. She was trying to answer but every time she went to speak she’d start coughing. The two ran in just as y/n’s previous coughing attack had subsided and she was now glaring at the TV because someone said a stupid answer.

“I said sex first, asshole. But no one wanted to listen to me.” 

“Glad to see you haven’t lost your sense of humor.”

“Jacky! Lu!” Y/n had a dopey smile on her face as she saw her brothers. They couldn’t tell if it was the drugs or if she was just being herself.

“Hey, baby bear. How you feeling?”

“Mom, can I swear?”

Jack laughed, “Aren’t you the one who just called someone an asshole?”

“Mom! Jack’s being mean.”

“Jack, stop torturing your sister and yes, y/n, you can swear.”

“I feel like shit.” Luke nodded, the only one who seemed to have sympathy for the girl right now, “What did the doctor say?”

“I don’t know, I wasn’t really listening.”

Ellen and Jim explained how it wasn’t a big thing and that she should be able to go home in a couple of hours or so. The two stayed with her until she was discharged and drove home with the three where Luke carried her upstairs to her room because she fell asleep on the way home. 

That’s where Quinn found them when he got there, Jack and Luke on either side of her in her bed as they watched the Game Show Network. One of the many stuffed animals that Quinn had gotten her wrapped in her arms against her chest. 

“Hey guys.”

“Quinn! You’re here.”

“Of course, I’m here. I couldn’t let those two take care of you.”

Jack and Luke feigned offense at the eldest child but Jack moved over so Quinn could sit where he previously was, knowing y/n always chose to be close to him when she was sick. 

“You doing okay?”

“Could be better, but I’m happy you’re here.”

“I’m never letting you go, none of us are.”

“Please don’t leave me.”

It was something the three had already talked about, they had already talked to their coaches and were scratched from their next couple of games because their sister needed him. 

Y/n spent the rest of the night surrounded by her brothers feeling safe and sound.

⬂ 𝗛𝘂𝗴𝗵𝗲𝘀 𝗕𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗧𝗮𝗴𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 ⬂

@zebraszegras | @ru-kru | @alwaysclassyeagle | @flowergirl1134 | @puckslxt | @ivy-34 | @kei943

© cupidbedsy (sunflower-lilac42) ; do not copy, repost, or translate my work and designs on any other website or here

[winchestersisterimaginessss]

My Sister’s Keeper

Dean went to hell and Sam left his little sister (16/17 yo) to fend for herself. Dean gets back and he is pissed with Sam and they have to find her. Fluff

Warnings- swearing, angst, fluff lol

A/N- I kind of changed the way Dean was brought back. Instead of going right to Bobby he found Sam first. Let me know if you think I should do a part 2?

“She’s a fucking kid Sam,” Dean let out an angry yell. He couldn’t believe that Sam had ditched their baby sister when she needed him the most. His heart ached as he thought about the times he reassured her that when he was in Hell she would always have Sam and that he would take care of her. He knew that she still wasn’t convinced and it made leaving so much harder, but he had no choice. After all, Dean had raised her and Sam had left them both multiple times. His heart panged when he thought about where she could be all alone. The look of horror on his face when he came to realization, “A young girl at that!” Dean grimaced. God forbid someone touched a hair on her head, they would be dead and Dean would make sure of it. He couldn’t imagine his baby sister alone and scared fending for herself. Sure she was tough, but she was just a kid and he knew her better than she knew herself. He knows that when she claims she’s okay after a hunt, its clear she isn’t as her body betrays her words and she trembles until he or Sam rub her back and let her know that she’s safe. It doesn’t take an idiot to notice the flash of panic on her face after a door slams or a loud noise is heard. Or when they have to calm her down during a panic attack or comfort her in the middle of the night during a nightmare. Or the way she clings to Sam or Dean’s shirt every night when she falls asleep. She was tougher than hell, but at the end of the day she’s just a kid who was forced to live this life. Dean looked at Sam and saw the look of regret that filled his face. “You better fucking find her Sam or I swear to God,” Dean trailed off grabbing his phone to call Bobby, putting it on speaker phone. The phone rang a few times until Bobby picked up, “Hello?” “Hey Bobby it’s Dean, have you heard from Y/N,” Dean asked as he shot a look at Sam. Bobby replied, “I talked to her last week and she said her and Sam were getting close finding you a way out,” Sam’s heart panged as he realized that she told Bobby he was with her so no one would worry about her. She never wanted to be a bother to anyone and he felt even worse knowing she was trying everything in her power to get Dean back while he ran off with a demon. Something that none the less probably cost her her soul. He should have been with her and he will never forgive himself for leaving. But he thought he was doing the right thing in the moment. Now looking back at it he wasn’t sure how he thought that because right now he was terrified at the thought of her being alone or worse, hurt. Sam’s emotions were interrupted by Bobby speaking again, “And I can see that it worked. Welcome back boy.” “Thanks Bobby, do you have an address of where she might be?” Dean replied. Bobby hummed “No, but I have a town.” Dean let out a sign of relief. He grabbed the keys and turned to Sam, “You better hope she’s safe Sam. Let’s go.”

They got into the car and Dean took off. They were about 3 hours out from the town that Bobby sent over. Luckily it was a pretty small town and there was one motel that they could pretty much pinpoint where she could be staying. The car ride was agonizingly quiet and Sam was forced to be stuck in his thoughts on how awful of a brother he’s been. He was too worried about killing Lilith while she was too busy trying to find a way to bring Dean back. He was fucking selfish and he should have been focused on his only living sibling left that was trying to bring back their other non living sibling. He decided to break the silence, “Dean I’m so fucking sorry, I screwed up man and I screwed up bad. I’ll never fucking forgive myself.” Dean scoffed, “Yeah you shouldn’t be able to forgive yourself Sam. She’s just a kid, I don’t understand how you could EVER leave her like that. She needed you the most and you left her. We don’t even know if she’s alive,” Dean gripped the steering wheel and pressed the gas harder thinking the worst possible scenario. He continued, “She found a way to bring me back and we know how that story ends Sam.” Sam filled to the brim with guilt, “I’ll fix everything, I promise Dean, I won’t let anything else happen to her.” The car went back to silence as both brothers continued to hope their baby sister was alright.

It was around 1am when they finally arrived at the motel. The engine roared as Dean turned the car off. They got out and hurried to the front desk. “Hi. how can I help you?” The man behind the desk asked. They both pulled out their FBI badges and stated who they were looking for. The guy pointed them to a room and they rushed to what they were hoping was Y/N’s room. She’s always been a light sleeper so when Dean started to pick the lock to her door, she immediately heard it. Her heart dropped and she grabbed her knife to give her a fighting chance against her intruders. She quickly glided across the motel room and put her back against the wall. It was pitch black, but she could make out two figures. One was much taller than the other, but they were both pretty big which made her gulp. There was no one way she could take on the both of them and she knew that. They picked the lock with ease and started to make their way into her room. They took a few steps in and that’s when Y/N charged at them. The taller one of the two immediately turned around and just before she could make contact with him, he grabbed her. She immediately dropped her knife as he pinned her wrist back and slammed her against the wall. She let out a yelp and braced her head for impact, but instead of feeling the hard wall against her head it was the palm of a hand. She was confused, but she still whimpered terrified. “Please,” she cried, “please don’t hurt me.” As she pleaded, the light to the motel room flicked on and she was finally able to make out the person in front of her. “Hey hey it’s alright,” it was Sam. “Sammy,” she whimpered. Still clearly dazed, confused, and frightened. Sam loosened his grip on his sister and wrapped his large arms around her small frame, “Yeah, hey shhhh bug I got you. I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.” She cried, flinging her arms around him and holding him tight like he could disappear at any moment. To be fair, he could disappear at any moment and he did. They stayed like that for a few moments before rage took over her. She pulled away, crying and started hitting him. “How could you Sam,” she cried. Slapping his chest and hitting him over and over again, “How could you fucking leave me. I-I needed you Sam. I needed you and you left me,” she sobbed. She was weak with exhaustion, but Sam let her hit him because he deserved every single blow even if it barely hurt him.

Dean stood back watching his little sister. He was taken aback by how fragile she looked. She definitely lost weight as she was much skinnier. He noticed dark heavy bags under her eyes like she had been crying every single day for months straight. He couldn’t take it anymore, his sister was clearly suffering and he wasn’t around to help her. In fact, no one was around to help her. He couldn’t watch her crumble any longer so he came up behind her and embraced her. He pinned her frailing arms down with his and held her in a tight hug from behind. She fought against him, crying when Dean calmly spoke, “Hey hey hey Y/N/N I’m going to need you to relax for me alright?” She stood frozen, “De?” “Yeah, I got you sweetheart, I got you. I’m so sorry,” He released his hold as she turned around and launched herself onto him. Dean wrapped his arms around her and she gripped onto Deans shirt for dear life. She whimpered, “De I was so scared.” Dean felt his heart drop even further, “I know kid, I know. Shhhh it’s okay, I’m here. I got you.” Dean tightened his grip on her and rested his clenched jaw on her head shooting Sam a look. Sam watched them both, feeling sick to his stomach. How could he have done this to his baby sister? This is no life for a kid. He knew that too and that’s why the pit in his stomach only grew bigger. A sob interrupted Sam’s thoughts as Y/N’s emotions began to escalate. He watched as she collapsed, falling into their older brothers arms. Dean quickly sunk to the floor with her as her breathing hitched. He could feel her heart hammering against her rib cage and knew he needed to get her out of her panicked state before she passed out. “Hey hey hey hey Y/N/N breathe for me sweetheart, breathe.” She felt her chest start to tighten which frightened her even more. Her breathing was erratic at this point and she dug her finger tips into deans arms. “Hey kid, you’re having a panic attack okay? It’s alright. I’ve got you. You’re safe okay?” She nodded still trembling, still gasping. He repositioned her so she was sitting in between his legs with her back pressed against him to feel the rise and fall of his chest. “I need you to breathe with me. Can you do that sweetheart?” Dean felt her nod and continued “Yeah? Okay. We’re going to breathe out for 10. Come on bug 10…9…8…7…” She matched Dean’s breath which ended up hitching on 7. Dean reached down to rub her arms, “Keep going kid. You got it. 3…2…1…” He walked her through breathing in and out a few more times until he felt satisfied enough to where he knew she wouldn’t pass out. He sighed in relief, wrapping his arms around her and resting his chin on her head, “That’s it sweetheart, I got you.” He could still feel her heart pounding though so he pulled her onto his lap like he did when she was a child and ran his fingers through her hair. “It’s alright, I’m here now and I’m not leaving. You’re safe with me kiddo. I’ve got you.”

She sat on the floor with Dean for what felt like hours while he comforted her. Eventually Sam made his way over unable to see his baby sister hurt any longer. He sat down and brushed her hair away from her face, “I’m so sorry bug. You have every right to be upset with me. I let you down and I caused you so much pain. I just thought I was doing the right thing for all of us. If I could go back in time, I would change it. I’m so incredibly sorry for everything, but I’m here now and I’m not leaving you ever.” Sam let a few tears escape his eyes. Y/N reached to grab his hand, “I forgive you Sammy. I’m sorry for hitting you.” Sam chuckled. His baby sister was too nice for her own sake. “I deserved it,” he said. She shot her head back up and looked between her two brothers. “How did you get out?” She asked, not knowing if she really wanted to know the answer. She was scared that a crossroads demon finally took Sam up on his offer for his soul. Her heart rate picked up again while she waited for her brothers to give her an answer. “I don’t know how I got out. I thought it was either you or Sam who figured it out, but Sam didn’t,” he trailed off looking at her with worried eyes. She blinked, “No it wasn’t me. I tried Dean, I tried so hard to save you. I- I tried. I’m so sorry. I-I couldn’t figure it out.” Dean’s face softened, “Hey sweetheart it’s okay. Thank you, but I wish it wasn’t put on you in the first place. I would have never wanted this for you. I’m so sorry.” He could tell she was filled with so much guilt when she shouldn’t be. It crushed him and he rubbed her arm, “I’m here now.” Y/N had so many questions, but all she knew was that she was back with her brothers and that’s all that mattered to her. She was exhausted and eventually let the darkness flow over her. “Get some rest kid, we’ll be here when you wake up,” she heard Dean say. She could finally sleep peacefully knowing she had both of her brother back.

[winchesterwild78]

On the Ninth Day of Christmas

Master List

Characters: Beau Arlen x Reader, Cassie, Jenny

Warnings: fluff, SMUT (not too heavy), angst, language

A/N: Day 9 of my holiday fics. I hope you enjoy this short series. I’m really excited about it. All work is my own, please don’t take it. Reblogs and likes are welcomed. 

I do not own the rights to the characters I use, these will not follow the story lines of the series the character appeared in. This is a work of fiction.

Written fast and edited fast, please overlook any errors. 

This one got a little long, sorry. 

Minors DNI 18+

Jenny Hoyt and I had been friends since elementary school. She was like a sister to me and we were with each other through all the ups and downs life threw at us. 

When Cody was killed I was there for her, offering comfort and support. I trust her with my life, and not just because she’s a cop. 

It was about two weeks until Christmas and Jenny wanted me to come by the Sheriff’s office this afternoon to grab some lunch and go shopping. 

Jenny told me about the new interim Sheriff, Beau Arlen. I could tell by the way she talked about him that she liked him, so I was curious what this Texas boy looked like and if he was going to take care of her heart. 

I arrived at the office a few minutes early, hoping to catch a glimpse of him. I sat in Jenny’s office scrolling on my phone when I heard a knock on the door. 

“Hey Hoyt, you got a second?” I looked up and saw the lightest green eyes I’d ever seen. My breath hitched. 

“Oh sorry, I didn't realize there was someone in here.” He said as he offered a soft smile. I stood, eyes still locked on his, “It’s okay. I was just waiting for Jenny. I’m Y/N.” I extended my hand. He took it and shook my hand, “I’m Sheriff Beau Arlen, nice to meet you, darlin’.” His voice dripped with a southern drawl. My breathing quickened and I didn’t want to let go. 

“So, Y/N, how do you know Hoyt?” He asked as we let go. “Oh she’s like a sister to me. We’ve been friends since elementary school.” He nodded and smiled. 

A silence fell between us. Jenny stepped in the office breaking the silence, “Y/N! You’re here. Hey Beau, I see you’ve met Y/N.” He smiled, tipped his hat and said yes. 

“You about ready to go, Y/N? Oh, Beau, did you need something?” “Nothing that can’t wait. I’ll catch up with you later. It was nice to meet you Y/N.” He touched my arm. “Yeah, it was nice to meet you too, Beau.” 

About an hour later Jenny and I were shopping and my mind kept drifting back to Beau. I couldn’t help it. I was so lost in thought I didn’t hear Jenny when she asked my opinion on a gift. “Hey, Earth to Y/N.” “Oh, sorry. What did you say?” “Are you okay Y/N? You seem distracted.” I bit my lip. How could I admit I found her boss attractive, and I knew she liked him. I couldn’t do that to her. 

“Yeah, just inside my head about some things.” “Are some of those things a certain green eyed, bow legged Sheriff?” I spin my head around, “What? No, of course not. Besides, I know you like him.” 

Jenny stepped closer and touched my arm, “Oh honey, he’s good looking, but I don’t like him like that. Besides, I saw how he looked at you, he’s smitten.” I smiled. My heart fluttered in my chest. 

“If you want to pursue him I would support it, and he better not break your heart or I’ll kick his ass.” I laughed, “We’ll see. What can you tell me about him?” “Let’s grab some lunch and I’ll tell you all about him.” I nodded, we paid for our purchases and went to the diner to grab some lunch. 

We sat down and ordered our lunch. The diner filled with the lunch rush and the sound of holiday music filled the air. “So Beau moved here to be our interim Sheriff. His ex-wife Carla and their daughter, Emily moved here, so he moved to be closer to them. He loves his daughter and is amazing with her. He’s kind, and an amazing friend.” I nodded taking in everything she said. He seemed too good to be true. 

“So how is his relationship with his ex-wife?” I was terrified of the answer, because I’d dated people with ex’s before and they weren’t completely over them. 

“They get along. He doesn’t talk about her much, I just know they divorced and she’s remarried to a guy he doesn’t like.” I nodded and bit my lip. 

Jenny’s phone rang and I could tell it was work. When she hung up she apologized and said she had to get back. We got our food to go and she drove us to the Sheriff’s office. 

We stood in the parking lot saying our goodbyes when I looked up and saw Beau approaching. I offered him a soft smile. “Hey Hoyt, sorry to pull you back in, but I needed backup. Y/N, I’m sorry I had to take her away from you. I promise I’ll make it up to you.” He stepped closer and my breath hitched. 

“Oh, it’s okay. We were pretty much done anyway. Y’all be careful. Jenny, call me later.” We exchanged a hug and her and Beau climbed in her truck and pulled out. 

A few hours later I got a text from Jenny.

Jenny: Hey, I hope you don’t mind but I gave Beau your number. He insisted on making it up to you for him crashing our afternoon. 

Me: It’s fine. Please tell him he really doesn’t need to. 

Jenny: I did, but he’s stubborn. Sounds like someone else I know. 😂

Me: Funny. I can think of someone just as stubborn.

Jenny: True, but you are more stubborn. 

Me: Fine. But seriously, I don’t want to overstep with him.

Jenny: Girl, if he asks you out, jump on that. He’s not been on any dates since he’s been here.

Me: Okay, if you’re sure.

Jenny: Yes! But when y’all get married I better be the maid of honor.

I laughed out loud.

Me: Deal! Love you!

Jenny: Love you too!

I sat on my couch reading a book when there was a soft knock on my door. I looked at the time and it was about 7pm. I looked through the peephole and my breath caught in my throat. It was Beau. I took a steady breath, bit my lower lip and opened the door.

Our eyes met and he smiled. I instantly got weak in the knees. “Beau?” He grinned, “Hey, sweetheart. I hope you don’t mind me stopping by.” “Oh, no, come on in.” I stepped to the side and let him in.

He walked into the living room and looked around. “Nice place you’ve got here.” “Thank you.” He held up a bag, “I hope you don’t mind. I asked Hoyt what your favorite food was and I brought it over as a peace offering.” 

I looked confused, “A peace offering, what for?” “For taking Hoyt this afternoon.” I smirked, “Beau, I told you it was fine. You needed her back at work. I understand.” 

“Well, still I wanted to bring you something to eat.” “Thank you, you can put it here.” I motioned to the kitchen counter. Beau started to take out the containers and I smiled as I smelled my favorite meal from the chinese restaurant. 

I grabbed some plates and silverware, “Can I offer you anything to drink? I have water, soda, beer and wine.” “Beer sounds great, thank you.” 

I walked to the refrigerator and grabbed him a beer and me a bottle of water. As I turned around I noticed he looked away quickly. Was he checking  me out? My cheeks flushed red. 

We sat on the couch and ate while a Christmas movie played on tv. Neither one of us was really paying attention. “Thanks again for this, Beau. It’s really hitting the spot.” He nodded, “Yeah, it is pretty good. Glad you like it.” He smiled. 

“So, Y/N, tell me about yourself. Married, Boyfriend, Girlfriend, kids?” “No to all of the above.” I laughed. “There isn’t much to tell. I’m single, I’ve been that way for a few years now. I was engaged, it didn’t work out. He decided a week before the wedding he was still in love with his ex. I found out when I found them in our bed together. Jenny is like a sister to me, and annoys me just like one. Tell me about yourself, Beau.” 

“Well, I’m new here. My ex, Carla is here and so is my daughter, Emily. We share custody, and she’s got me wrapped around her finger. Em definitely keeps me in check too. She’s got a fire in her that I pray won’t go away.” 

He sighed and smiled. I noticed how his eyes filled with love when he talked about his daughter. I couldn’t help it but I touched his hand, “She sounds amazing, Beau. I hope I get to meet her one day.” 

The rest of the night we talked, stolen glances and light touches were exchanged. Every time his calloused fingers brushed against my skin it sent a shiver through me. 

Beau noticed the time, it was after midnight, “Oh Y/N, I’m so sorry. It’s late. I should let you get some sleep.” My heart sank a little. I really didn’t want him to leave. 

“Okay, yeah it is kinda late. I’m sure you have to get up early yourself.” He nodded, “Yeah, but I…” He cut himself off. His eyes flicked to mine and then down to my lips. 

I licked them and pulled my bottom lip in between my teeth. My hair had fallen into my face. Beau lifted his hand and tucked the stray piece of hair behind my ear. His thumb brushed against my cheek.

“You’re so beautiful, Y/N.” I leaned into his touch. He stepped closer, and I moved closer. The distance between us is getting smaller. My chest rising and falling faster and my heart beating so loudly I could hear it in my ears.

We were leaning into each other, our lips mere inches apart. “Can I kiss you, sweetheart?” His voice whispered. “Yes” my voice is barely audible. His lips pressed softly to mine. The kiss was soft and tender. Not rushed and not hard. 

The world around us seemed to disappear. His hands softly slid up my neck and into my hair as he deepened the kiss. We pulled apart as the need for air became too much. I blushed and he smirked. 

My lips were on fire. I’d never felt a kiss like that before. I could kiss him all day long. “Wow.” Was all he said at first. I smiled, “Yeah, wow.” 

“Well now I don’t want to leave.” He said with a grin. “I know what you mean, but we can see each other tomorrow if you want.” 

He touched my face, “I’d like that very much.” “Me too.” Beau pulled me into his arms and hugged me, placing a soft kiss on the side of my head. “Good night, Y/N.” “Good night, Beau.”

The next few weeks Beau and I saw each other as often as we could. Our relationship was getting stronger. I’d met Emily, and she was just as sweet as Beau had described. I even met Carla. I was nervous, but she was nice and accepting of our relationship.

It was Christmas Eve night and Beau was coming over so we could exchange our gifts and spend some time together. He was spending Christmas with Emily and I felt like I should let them have their time together. Beau was appreciative. 

When Beau got to my house he was greeted with a candle lit dinner and a home cooked meal. I had gotten off work early, so I wanted to surprise him. After dinner and dessert, we settled on the couch. 

I was so excited to give him his present. “So Beau, are you ready for your gift?” I bit my lip, I was so nervous. He smiled and nodded.

I handed him a small box. He opened it and looked confused. “What’s this?” “It’s a key for you. I want you to feel like this is home too.” He smiled, “I love it, Y/N.” “There’s something else I wanted to give you, but I wasn’t sure how to wrap it.”

“Okay, want me to close my eyes?” He smirked. I nodded. He closed his eyes and I got his present ready. I took a deep breath, “Okay, open your eyes.”

When he opened his eyes I was standing in front of him in a sheer red nightgown that had white fur around the top and bottom. It looked almost like a Santa suit. His eyes went wide, “Damn sweetheart, look at you. C’mere.” He pulled me close to him and down on his lap.

I straddled his lap as he started to kiss me up and down. His hands running on my body. My thighs were on either side of him and I grinded down onto his strained erection. Pulling a moan from his lips. 

I started kissing him and things were heating up. He had a full on erection and my panties were soaked. His hands pulled my hips down onto him. I moaned as my sensitive clit came in contact with his bulge.

Our lips still connected to each other and our hands explored each other’s bodies. “Are you sure, darlin’?” “Yes, Beau. I want you.” “Let’s take this to the bedroom.” He purred. 

I stood and helped him up, he grabbed my waist and pulled me back in flush to his body, his lips landing on mine again. 

Hand in hand we went to the bedroom. Beau removed his clothes and I watched in awe. This man was stunning and his body was perfect. My thighs clenched together and I felt myself get wetter. 

I laid back to the pillows on the bed and Beau climbed between my legs. His fingers hooked my panties and pulled them down. He kissed up my thighs and I squirmed. 

Beau’s mouth ghosted my dripping wet core and I moaned. I felt him smirk as he used his skilled tongue and fingers to make me cum, three times. By the time he was finished my legs were like jello and I felt amazing. 

He removed his boxers, put on a condom and asked again if I was sure. I nodded and told him I was. 

As he pushed in, my walls clenched. His long, thick length stretched me in ways I’d never felt and damn did I want more. As he bottomed out we both moaned. He stilled before he continued. 

Each thrust, each touch sent electricity through my body. His name falling from my lips like a prayer. I wrapped my legs around his waist and moved my body, “Oh Beau, you feel so good. Don’t stop.” My hands on his strong shoulders helping ground me in the moment. 

Beau’s hips snapping into mine, he kissed my lips and moaned. “Oh Carla, you feel incredible.” 

My eyes shot open and my legs fell. “What?!” I tried to wiggle out from under him. “Oh shit! I’m so sorry, Y/N. I have no idea why I said that. Fuck! I didn’t mean it, I swear I wasn’t thinking about her.” 

I grabbed the blanket as he moved off of me. Tears stung my eyes. “Beau, I think you should leave.” 

“Y/N, baby, please. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I called her name out.” I shook my head, “I do. Beau please go.” The tears started to fall as I pulled the blanket around me like a secure hug.

Beau got off the bed, let out a deep sigh and ran his fingers through his hair. 

I turned my back to him, I couldn’t look at him. My heart was broken. Another man I gave my heart to and he was still stuck on his ex. A lump formed in my throat. I had fallen in love with Beau, and of course he would break my heart. 

Beau got dressed, stopped at the bedroom door and said, “I’m so sorry, darlin’. I love you.” 

I let out an audible sob. The first time he says I love you and it’s right after he breaks my fucking heart. As soon as I heard the front door I let out all the tears I had been holding back. 

Hours later the tears had stopped. Mostly because I didn’t have any left. My eyes and head hurt, and my heart was broken. Exhaustion finally took over my body and I drifted off to a restless sleep. 

Beau arrived home completely defeated and angry at himself. He had no idea why he called Carla’s name out. He wasn’t thinking about her and he was in love with me. 

He sent Hoyt a text. 

Beau: Hey when you get this can you call me. I fucked up and I don’t know how to fix it. 

Hoyt: give me a minute 

A few minutes later his phone rang. “Hoyt I fucked up bad. She’s never going to forgive me.” “Calm down Arlen, what happened?” Jenny asked as she tried to get him to calm down. 

“We were having a great time and one thing led to another. It was amazing and in the middle of it I called out Carla’s name. I swear I wasn’t thinking about her. I don’t know why I did it. She made me leave and wouldn’t look at me. I don’t know how to fix this.” 

“Damn, Beau. I’m not sure if you can fix this. She went through this with her ex fiancée and found him in bed with his ex right before the wedding. You need to give her some time. I’ll talk to her and see what I can do. She’s going to need some space tonight.” 

Beau let out a frustrated sigh. He was so angry at himself. He couldn’t believe he did that to you and the look in your eyes haunted his mind. 

“Thanks Jenny. Please let me know what I can do to make this right.” 

They exchanged their goodbyes and hung up. 

Jenny sent me a text. 

Jenny: Hey sweetie. He called me and told me what happened. When you’re ready I’m here. I love you. 

I was asleep when the message came in so I didn’t see it right away. 

Christmas morning came and I pulled the blanket over my head. I really couldn’t face anyone today. 

I grabbed my phone and my heart kinda sank when I didn’t see a text from Beau. Of course I really shouldn’t expect one. I saw the message from Jenny. I can’t face her either. So I sent her a text. 

Me: Yeah. I’m not ready to talk. I love you too, Merry Christmas. 

Jenny: Merry Christmas, sweetie. I understand. Will I see you later? 

Me: I don’t know. Honestly right now I’m probably going to say no.

Jenny: I understand sweetie. For what it’s worth he’s really upset about it. He called me last night and told me how he fucked up. 

Me: He really did. Jenny I’m falling for him and in the middle of sex he called me his ex’s name. Then told me he loved me before he left. How do I process that?

Jenny: He told you he loved you? 

Me: yes, before he left. 

Jenny: Oh honey. We will figure it out. I’m not going to push, but you should come over for a little bit today. 

Me: I promise I’ll think about it. Right now I want to be alone. 

Beau got up and looked at his phone. His finger was hovering over my name. He wanted to send me a message but didn’t know what to do. Emily had sent him a message and told her she was excited about today. Beau knew he was going to have to fake happiness for her sake. 

He was happy he got to spend time with her, but his mind kept replaying last night. His heart ached. He was in love and he just fucked it up. 

Jenny: Hey Beau. I’m not sure what to tell you except she said you told her you loved her. She said she loves you too. Reach out to her and just lay it all out there. I’d suggest a text and see if she’s willing to talk on the phone. If not then figure it out. Make her listen. She can be stubborn especially when she’s been hurt. 

Beau: Okay. Thanks Hoyt. I’ll try. 

Beau took a deep breath and let it out. Then he sent a text. 

Y/N: Hey. I know I’m the last person you want to hear from, but I just want to talk. If you don’t want to talk on the phone I’m okay with texting. I’m leaving it up to you. I know I fucked this up and you have every right to be pissed. I just want you to talk to me. 

I looked at the text that came in. My heart cracked more. I know he was in pain, but he called her name out when he was with me. I don’t know what to do. Did I want to hear his voice or just make him text me? 

I ran my fingers through my hair. “Fuck!” I let out a long sigh. 

My finger hovered over his name. I pushed it and the line started ringing. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” he said when he answered the phone. “Hey Beau.” 

“Thank you for calling me. I can’t believe you did, but I’m so happy. Baby I don’t know where to begin.” 

“Beau, are you still in love with Carla?” “No, absolutely not. I’m in love with you. I’ll always care about her because she’s Emily’s mother, but I’m not in love with her. She’s the last woman I had been with before you. Maybe it was a habit, but I swear I wasn’t thinking about her at all. I don’t have an excuse for it, but I swear if you give me another chance to be in your life I’ll never do that again.”

“Beau, you really hurt me. You broke my heart. It brought back all that pain from my ex. He swore he loved me, we were about to get married and I caught him in bed with the ex he said he didn’t care about. I can’t, no I won’t go through that again. I deserve better than to be a second choice.” 

“I swear, Y/N you’re not nor will you ever be a second choice to me. I’d choose you over and over again. I love you.” 

Tears started to fall. I was terrified to let him in again, but I loved him. “Baby, please don’t cry. I’m so sorry.” I could hear his voice crack. I know he was on the verge of crying too. 

“Beau, I don’t know what to say. Let’s talk about it more tomorrow. I don’t want you to be late to see Em. She deserves your undivided attention. I love you, Beau.” 

“Oh sweetheart, I love you. Maybe I can come by later, if you want me to and we can talk.” “I’d love that Beau. Please give Emily my love and tell her Merry Christmas for me.” “I will, and thank you for at least talking to me. I’ll come by later.” “Okay, Beau.”

We hung up and I felt a little better. I jumped in the shower and when I got out I heard a knock on the front door. I grabbed my robe and put it on. I wasn’t expecting anyone, but I suspected it was Jenny coming to drag me to her house. 

I looked through the peephole and gasped. Opening the door standing with flowers in hand was Beau. “Merry Christmas, darlin’.” He handed me a beautiful bouquet. 

I smiled and stepped to the side letting him in. “Beau, what are you doing here? You’re going to be late seeing Emily.” “No, I was there and she asked where you were. I told her we got into a disagreement and she told me not to come back until I fixed us because she loved you so much.” 

I smiled, “I love her too. She’s such a sweetheart.” “I told her it was all my fault and she read me the riot act. Carla even got in on it and told me not to come back without you. I hope you don’t mind, but I shared with Carla what happened. She called me a dumbass and told me to fix it.”

I gasped softly, “Beau. I know you’re not my ex, and you didn’t do it on purpose. I love you so much. I’m sorry I made you leave.” I threw my arms around him. 

He pulled me tight and placed a soft kiss on my lips, “God I love you. I promise I’ll never hurt you again.” 

“You better not, Beau Arlen. Because I’m not the only one who would kick your butt.” We both chuckled. 

“Now, about Christmas dinner. If I show back up to Carla’s without you she’s going to kill me. Please come with me. They both want you there, I want you there.”

“Okay, I’ll go as long as you promise me something.” “Anything, sweetheart.” “When we leave we come back here and reopen your Christmas present.” “Are you sure, Y/N?” 

I stepped closer, lips ghosting his, “Yes”. Then I kissed him. He pulled me into the kiss deeper and the kiss turned passionate. We finally pulled away, “Merry Christmas, Beau.” “Merry Christmas, Y/N.”

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[specterllaw]

Mommy or Ma'am? - Mike Ross x Reader / Older Brother Harvey

Summary: After a hospital scare, Mike is put on babysitting duty, which quickly turns into a fun morning for you both

Warnings: SMUT, Switch! reader Switch! Mike

Harvey knew getting Jessica to hire you was a bad idea, he thought he could fully trust you though. You were twenty two it was your first real job, even it was just making copies for everybody in the office when needed.

I was going smoothly for awhile until Monday Morning rolled around, Y/n was on edge because not only did she have tests coming up but she also had sports, work, and helping her older brother Harvey keep his penthouse and office clean and neat. She felt like she was losing it, so whenever she was woken up at 6AM to go to the office she wanted to start crying, she hadn't even been to bed really, only falling asleep twenty minutes before Harvey even woke her up.

You were stuck in the copier room, taking stacks of papers from different associates, and partners and just coping them over and over again. It was working smoothly until you dozed off coping papers and mixed up the order of them, now realizing you messed up very important documents your breathing started to shallow. You heart rate was speeding up and you started to feel dizzy and hot, holding onto the table next to the copier tightly you heard somebody's rushed footsteps approach you all before your eye sight went black. "Woah woah woah" Mike said taking in your unusual state holding you up quickly as your body went limp "Louis! Rachel!" He yelled trying to shake you lightly "C'mon Y/n, wake up" He whispered nervously, not knowing what was going on with you, as he saw Louis walking up to the door he took a breath of relief "Stay here with her, I'm gonna call an ambulance and go get Harvey" Mike said urgently, gently laying you on the ground, using his suit jacket as a cushion under your head, waiting until Louis knelt next to you to try and wake you before rushing through the firm "Donna! call 911! now" He said checking Harvey's office only to see it empty "Mike! Calm down what's going on?" Donna asked worried standing up and resting a hand on his chest "I walked in to get copies from y/n and as soon as I walked in, she fell to the ground- where's Harvey?" He asked quickly before rushing to Jessica's office seeing Harvey sitting in front of her desk. "What do you need, Ross? We're having a very important-" Mike cut Jessica off quickly, and rudely. "Y/n passed out, I don't what happened" He whispered, Harvey looked at Jessica and then Mike "Damnit" he huffed standing up quickly rushing to the copier room right as paramedics were coming up from the elevator and rushing to the same room as him.

Whenever you woke up seeing your room empty made your heart hurt, not even Mike showed up to check on you? What even happened? Right before you could decide on what happened you hear the door latch and in rushes Mike and Harvey fighting on who gets in the room first. "Y/n" Harvey sighed sitting on the side on your bed "Don't ever do whatever you did again" He demanded, thinking he was talking about you messing up the copies and files you started to tear up "I-I'm sorry" You whimpered, terrified you might get fired for all of this "For what? I mean..Whenever you feel worked up..come find me..I understand more than you know, y/n/n" he whispered running a hand over your hair to smooth it out "I get panic attacks too...instead of...blacking out..I puke"He whispered, you studied his face, that explained all the mornings before his trials he'd get sick. "Same goes for you then..come find me" You whispered to him grabbing his hand squeezing it "So what happened?" You added on tilting your head "Exhaustion, y/n" Harvey said sternly "Which means, you're taking the next two days off, to rest, recharge" He said turning his head as Mike coughed awkwardly. "Okay kid, I'll let you speak, but I swear if you try anything with my sister I will kill you" Harvey stated seriously and confidently "Okay okay" Mike grumbled raising his hands up in the air before taking Harvey's seat, Harvey taking a step out into the hallway to call Jessica.

"Mr. Ross" You mumbled, you still felt a little sleepy from whatever they gave you but you were desperate to wake up "Ms. Specter" He quipped back running his hands down his pants legs. "You okay, Mike?" You asked softly sitting up to rest a hand on his shoulder "Y/n..I like you" He whispered "More than a friend, more than a co-worker, and I wanna like you as my girlfriend..but I don't want your brother to kill you" Mike added on resting a hand on yours "How long have you felt like this Mike?" You whispered using your other hand to cup his cheek "Weeks.....You're just..so kind and sassy, and the way you give Harvey shit is just...the proud look you have on your face after you make him speechless is adorable" He rambled "I would have you make copies of random words I had typed up just to see you..that's what I was on my way to do whenever I came into the copier room and found you leaning on the table about to fall.." Mike rambled even farther before you giggled and kissed him deeply

"Can you not shut the hell up Mike?" You mumbled against his lips as he resting a hand on yours, jumping away whenever he heard the door open "Excuse me!" Harvey yelled looking at you both "Care to explain yourselves, children?" He asked crossing his arms like a mother.

You were surprised to see Harvey agree to let Mike stay over, he claimed it was just to 'help you sleep, like you claimed' but you felt like he preferred you not to be home. As you walked into your room you smiled as Mike who was already ready for bed, striped to nothing but his boxers, truth was you and Mike had slept together, a couple of times, you both had agreed it was strictly friends with benefits until just yesterday at the hospital. "Ready for me to help you sleep?" Mike quoted playfully "Yes sir" You giggled climbing onto the bed, straddling Mike's lap as you looked down at him "Ah ah, Princess needs to rest, let me do all the work, baby" he whispered before using his hips and body force to flip you two over to where he was hovering over you.

"Look. At. Me" Mike demanded, you were on your third orgasm now, Harvey was long gone at work now and Mike was spending the day inside of with you, specifically taking turns making each other cum, but now Mike had taken it into his own hands to make you forget your own name, and you were 10000% okay with that. You felt Mike's hand grab your chin forcefully having you look up "I said look at me." He growled as he kept grinding his hips, his dick still buried six and a half inches deep inside of you, you moaned loudly leaning your head further back into the pillows, biting your lip as you made eye contact with Mike, whining and moaning loudly again. You couldn't help it, between his shiny lips from going down on you, to the messy ass hair from you pulling on it, or making the sex drunk look with the lazy smirk as his face as he fucked you into oblivion. "F-Fuck Mike!" You whimpered as he spit forcefully down where his cock entered inside of you before rubbing your clit with two fingers. You couldn't take it, you wanted to scream but you knew your brother would get a noise complaint and he'd know what you two were doing, home alone.

"My slut can take it" Mike whispered in your ear as he wrapped a hand around your throat, squeezing tightly as he started to thrust his hips alot faster than he previously was "Fuck fuck fuck Mike!" You screamed trying to close your legs but Mike just held them back open, continuing the sweet abuse on your clit, you could feel yourself getting close to the breaking point of cumming again and you knew Mike didn't care. You gasped loudly arching your back as he started fucking you alot faster, the hand around your throat tightening and it just added to your pleasure. "Cum, slut" Mike growled, not letting his hips falter its pace as he watched you cum, the way your face scrunched up, or the way your pussy squeezed around his cock as tight as possible, or maybe it was the fact you were screaming his name while leaving scratch marks all down his back but whatever it was, he wanted to remember it forever. You started to whimper, his cock moving inside of you beginning to become way too much for you to handle "Hold on baby..Use your words, you know what to say to stop, Daddy's so close though" Mike panted as he kept fucking you, his little whimpers were enough to get you wet yet again, but this time it sparked an idea. Once Mike started to pull out you glared at him, giving him a look that says 'you'll regret that' "Keep fucking me, baby" You whispered grabbing his boxer waist band that was tugged down below his cock, using it to pull him back closer, and his cock back deeper inside of you "Keep fucking mommy" You moaned arching your back, Mike whined before rolling onto his back pulling you ontop of him "Fuck keep talking please, you're so fucking hot" He moaned grinding his hips up "So Mike Ross is also a bottom?" You gasped playfully before holding his hips down "In that case, hips down, slut" You demanded before starting to grind and bounce your hips slowly on his lap, moving his cock in and out of you at a slow pace, making Mike try and sit up quickly, once he realized that wasn't happening he attempted to try and speed up your pace by thrusting his hips up but you just grabbed his hair and tugged it back, using the opportunity to leave hickeys down his neck. "F-Fuck Ma'am" Mike whined sitting up holding you close to him before taking one of your nipples in his mouth, swiping his tongue over it along with gently nipping at it, all making you increase the speed you were going. Mike was a whining wiggling mess, desperate to fuck you again and get his pleasure, he hadn't been a bottom since high school when he fucked the popular girl so this was extremely extremely hot for him.

"You wanna fuck me, baby?" You whispered in his ear dragging your nails down his back "Yes. yes yes yes Mommy, ma'am, yes, whatever you want me to call you just please let me fuck you, I wanna make you cum again" He whined trying to move his hips up against you as you lifted your hips up so it was just the tip inside of you. "Then take whats yours, Mike.." You whispered before kissing him deeply, he flipped you again, fucking you alot more erratic and harder, slamming into your pussy like it was the last time he'd ever fuck anybody. "Fuck!" You both shouted, yours more of a moan while Mike's was a full whine. You gasped feeling him cum inside of you, something you weren't expecting considering he had a condom, you couldn't think too much about it as you felt that familiar knot in your stomach snap as you came for the fifth or sixth time that morning.

As Mike pulled out you watched him stare down in horror and shock "Y/n..The condom broke.." He mumbled looking towards you as you were laying down trying to catch your breath.

[winterlynightlystories]

Bad day.

Tw; Mentions of murder, grief and spoilers I guess. Mentioned top!male!reader

Please do not copy or steal my work.

Sano “Mikey” Manjirou/gang!member!Male!Reader

Summary; Mikey’s dark impulse almost comes out. Luckily for everyone, you are there to calm the beast.

~~~~~~

You sat behind Manjiro, watching the meeting over his shoulder. It was going nowhere. Your boyfriend and his captains were stuck in an endless cycle of yes, no, maybe. And Manjiro’s patience was running lower by the second. You could see it by how tensed his shoulders were and quiet he was.

Everyone could see how displeased Mikey was. Over his shoulder, you had a good sight on their expression; they were terrified. With good reason. Mikey could kill a man in a heartbeat if he wanted, with no warning or sign. Just like he could beat the poor fucker to a bloody mess for the littlest thing.

Apparently, Manjiro use to be different. Calmer, more in control of his Dark Impulse. Before the death of his sister, best friend and so many more. The last straw has been when a named Takemichi had left. You ignored why, Manjiro refused to speak about it. But sometimes, you would wake up to him calling for his friend while tears would roll down his cheeks.

You never said anything, thinking Mikey would talk when ready. The only thing you could do was offer your shoulder and cuddle him. Or fuck him until he forgot everything, but you.

Licking your lips, your gaze turned toward Mikey's neck. You could still see the love bite you left there last night surrounding his tattoo. You wished you could simply get up and give him more while giving his shoulders a good massage. Maybe get him to sit on your lap so you could kiss them instead. You knew he loved it when you two took a bath before going to bed.

You were kicked out of your fantasy when his whole demeanour switched. You saw all his muscles tensing in a second as he raised his head higher. The whole aura changed in the room, feeling as if the temperature dropped below freezing. Not literally, of course. But you did get chills running through your whole body.

You weren't the only one noticing the change. All the captains fell silent, all their colour draining off their faces and fear filled their eyes. What had been said, you ignored it, but one thing was sure; it has turned Mikey’s Dark Impulse on. And like a ticking bomb, it could explode at any second.

Sighing, you got up. All eyes, except Mikey’s, turned on you. Half we're hopeful, the rest scared for your well-being.

You walked behind Mikey and rested your hands on his shoulders. You felt them instantly relax under the contact. Bending over his right side, you kissed his temple.

- “Easy Mikey. You have good, competent captains, so don't go around blasting their brains on the walls okay?” you said, lips still pressed against his skin.

- “You weren't listening right, Y/n?” he asked, voice empty.

- “Sorry Mikey. I spaced out before the gorgeous view I had.” you smiled, knowing he might be blushing. “Might have been making plans for tonight too, for us. So please, no shooting, no beating. I know it's frustrating, but it won't change anything.” you added and Mikey said nothing, but you felt him relax completely. “Let’s take a pause, just an hour or two. Let the boys get some food and air, might help. What do you think?”

For only answer, Manjiro dismissed everyone with a simple waving of his hand. Without a word, they all left the room almost running. Chuckling, you grabbed a chair and sat by Manjiro’s side. His eyes were empty and dark, but there was no sign of his Dark Impulse. Taking his hand in your, you rubbed small circles on his skin.

- “Something is wrong, I can see it. What's going on love?” you asked, and when no answer came you asked another one; “What can I do?”

Mikey turned his eyes on you. For a second you thought he would remain quiet, but no.

- “Could you hold me? I'll like to listen to your heart.”

You simply opened your arms wildly, inviting him to do just that. You wrapped them around his little frame once Mikey was comfortable on your lap. Resting your chin on the top of his head, you closed your eyes.

- “You know I am here if you need to talk. Whatever is on your mind or heart, I will listen.” you said softly.

- “Just a bad day. Angry just...” he sighed and hid his face against your chest. “Today is Emma... It's...” you heard his voice crack and hugged him closer.

- “Hush, it's alright. Mikey, if you need to cry, then cry. Let it go, love, you have the right to. I'm sorry, I didn't know.”

Mikey gave no answer, but you felt his shoulders shake as he cried silently in your arms. You rarely saw your boyfriend cry. Sometimes after a nightmare, or coming out of his Dark Impulse after killing someone.

You also felt like an idiot.

You should have seen the signs.

When the Captains returned, they said nothing seeing their President sitting on your lap, your head resting on his shoulder as he played with your hair. And if Mikey’s hair looked wild or if he had a new set of love bites on his neck, and if you too had your share of them just now showing, they said nothing.

The tension had left the room, it was easier to breathe and focus. For the next hours, you listened to them deciding if they should start a war against a rival gang, and so on.

And for the rest of the meeting, Mikey’s Dark Impulse never made another appearance.

[newkatzkafe2023]

Okay just saw friends, family and enemies, meeting Queen Kong, now they HAVE to meet female Godzilla and Godzilla Jr. XD

(emojis don't work for this platform.)

I CHALLENGE ANYONE WHO READS THIS POST, TO TAG AND REBLOG AS MANY OF YOUR FRIENDS AS YOU CAN!!!!!!!

#Scary wife Privileges😈

(Lmk Wukong) Ohhhhhhhhhh man everyone in megaspolis can see you the Legendary godzilla. Your husband begged for months for you and godji jr to meet his friends and we finally agreed. After all godzilla jr kids Needs friends his age, so later you got to pigsy's restaurant. And everybody was either amazed or terrified, Tang was the first to notice and well...😨

Tang: P-Pigsy I-I t-think godzilla is outside your r-restaurant😨😨😨😨

Pigsy: Very funny Tang😒😒😒

Sandy:(Upon seeing you) Oh dear....😥

Wukong: Hey, you guys I want you meet my wife Y/n or goddesszilla and my son JR!!!!🥰🥰

Then the others showed up, Mk was spazzing out in a good way as he ran around you in extreme excitement. Then Mei was over here, taking selfies with goji Jr and playing with the filers with him. And Redson called his parents about the possible danger. As he hid under a table in Pigsy's restaurant.

With their Enemies 🐂🕷🌬☠️🦁🐘🕊

the spider gang did not want any of that radiation smoke🕷🕷🕷

and neither did DBK and PIF🐂🌬

Jin and Yin were fanboying all over the place🩶🤎

The Mayor knew what was good for him and stayed back and far away along with Lady bone demon☠️💀

Nezha Wasn't sure if he should report this to heaven or not

And Lastly Azure and Peng were outraged because what else has Wukong hid from them. Meanwhile Yellowtusk Did everything in his power were not to piss us off.

As for Macaque he's muttering his Prayers as he literally digs his own grave😈🤣😰

(MR Wukong) Terror Pure unadulterated Terror, your husband finally decided to tell his master about you and Jr, Any well it really could have gone better. The ground shook the camp as they see Wukong and Fruity come back with a big body and soon an even bigger body. The pilgrims were pale as snow when they saw you and Jr.

Wukong: I wanted to tell you, that I'm married now and this is my wife Y/n and my other son godzilla Jr🤗

We stared down at the pilgrims, as the monk wasted no time passing out because the monkey king is Married to GODDESSZILLA!!! pigsy pissed himself and sandy actively ran away screaming. Meanwhile fruity and goji Jr because the fastest best friends😊🥰

(NR Wukong) Ohhhhhhhhhh man this is gonna be lit🤩🤩🤩🤩. Everyone was so stoked to meet godzilla, and Wukong Sorta found himself bragging about you and his Jr. Li was at a serious lost about what to do with this information, but Jr was quick to win him over with his surprisingly social nature.

Li:(getting Lick by Jr) haha awww your so cute🥰😊

Godzilla Jr:(purrs)

Su and the others had many questions for you which you Took the time to patiently answer to the best of your while Wukong cuddle and purred into you.

Meanwhile

Ao bing: Dad is that goddesszilla???😯😲🫨

Ao Guang: Whatever you do do not make eye contact😨😰😱

(HIB Wukong) Luier and Silly girl already loved you when you made their father happy. They also became fast friends and Siblings with Godzilla Jr. Goji Jr was quick to become very protective over his younger smaller brother and Sister. But overall the 3 were loving play mates, and Silly girl had started calling you mama at the end of the visit as Luier would sit by you asking questions. Which put another painful blush on his face as he watched the whole interaction. You also Might be wondering why pigsy didn't bother to flirt with you......????

Because both of you can definitely kill him😬

(Netflix Wukong) the dragon king Screamed like a little girl when he saw you at Lin's house. While Lin herself, she could even begin to comprehend what's going on here. Wukong had bought you and Goji Jr to meet his friends and so far Goji Jr loved Lin as he went and licked her face. Making Lin laugh at the tickles, meanwhile dragon king was down for the count as you stared down at him with a glare. Dragon king remained on his best behavior while you were there Because his life literally depended on it.

FEEL FREE TO REBLOG

[bohbee]

Genshin Characters when you have a nightmare.

Part 1

Part 2

I don't know when the others will come cause I am tiredd

Characters: Al-Haitham, Cyno, Tighnari, Wanderer, Childe, Ayato, Thoma

Warnings: blood [Al-Haitham, Thoma], strangulation [Childe], death [Al-Haitham, Childe, Cyno, Tighnari, Thoma], Dottore [Childe]

Notes: this was pretty sweet and its not proofread 💀

Masterlist

Al-Haitham

Purple flames incinerated everything around you, Sumeru city was destroyed. A large robot with maniacal laughter crushed bodies and buildings, and your eyes saw what it was holding, making your blood drain. Aether and Nahida.... their bodies bloodied and limp. "No, please wake up, guys." Tears pricked the corners of your eyes as the world started to shake, his crushing steps coming closer and closer.

"(y/n)"

Your ears faintly picked up on the quiet whispering, your light.... your savior. As if on cue, you shot up from your bed, Al-Haithams body slightly hovering over yours. Your terrified eyes met his calm ones, his hand carefully rubbed your shoulder reassuringly. "I'm here," he said softly. He placed your head on his chest and rubbed circles in your back.

"They defeated the false God. There's nothing to worry about." He hummed softly, the vibrations of his chest calming you down.

Your eyelids got Droopy, and you let sleep overwhelm your brain, Al-Haithams strong hold making you feel safe and secure.

Ayato

It wasn't often for you to have nightmares, so when Ayato had walked into his bedroom only to find his beloved crying and shaking in their sleep, he kind of panicked. He was used to taking care of his sisters nightmares as a kid. However, this was a completely different story.

He swiftly knelt on your side of the bed and rubbed your cheek softly. He quietly said your name to slowly wake you. His soft lips pepper kissed your face, causing you to jolt awake.

He quickly embraced you, whispering sweet nothings in your ear. "My love, do you wish to speak about it?" He asked softly. You shook your head, causing his to nod, "Alright then, let's get some rest, okay?" He got in the bed and spooned your body. "I'll always be here to save you from those off-putting thoughts"

Childe (Ajax, Tartaglia)

It was dark. The only thing you could see was Childe restraint to a chair. Dottores shoes clicked on the floor behind you, "You see relationships leave room for vulnerability, Tartaglia." The blue-haired male said. Childes eyes widened as he started to thrash around in the chair. "There's no room for vulnerability in the fatui, you know that." The doctors hands grasped your neck tightly, panic searing through your chest as your oxygen slowly cut off.

Childes grunts and screams of agony slowly turned into ringing as your body thrusted forward, trying to breathe. However, Dottores hands never let go. Your vision got spotty before quickly turning to black.

"(Y/N)"

Your name was yelled, startling you from your awful slumber. Childes panicked eyes scanned your body, "archons finally your up." His strong, scarred arms pulled your shaking body tightly in his grasp. "They won't touch you, I'll kill every one of them if they try." His tone was dark but heavily reassuring. You nodded, not being able to trust your own voice.

He softly rocked your body and sang a quiet melody from his hometown. Assisting you back to rest.

Cyno

Dating Cyno meant that he would be gone for many weeks. He was supposed to come back three days ago, but he didn't. You asked everyone you could, but nothing was heard. And so you just had to wait. Each night he was gone, you had a nauseating nightmare of something tragic happening to him. This night wasn't different....

Tignnari rushed you to Gandharva Ville, telling you that something had gone wrong. Your heart raced as you rushed through the clinic, only to see your beloved lying on the table. His body was peaceful, his cheeks slightly sunken in, and you grabbed his hand, trying to shake him up. However, his fingers were ice cold "no no no Cy, please!" You whimpered, shaking his body harder. "Don't leave me here, cy..." You cried harder, praying to every Archon to bring him back.

~Cynos POV~

I sighed heavily as I finally entered my home, I had to prolong my expedition thanks to the sand storm that had hit. Silently, I took off my hat and walked to my bedroom, happily ready to see my spouse.

As I opened the door, my eyes landed on their shaking body. "Cy please" they whimpered, I rushed over to them, "Hey, hey. Wake up love, I'm here" he softly woke his beloved up and wiped their tears.

~(y/n) pov~

"Cy!" You exclaimed and jumped on him, bringing his body down onto yours. He let out a deep chuckle. "Where were you!" You asked, tears of relief streaming down your face.

"I got caught up in a sand storm..... I guess you could say I was Duned..... get it cause doomed and dune-" you cut him off by kissing his lips "never ever do that again, or I will sand you straight to the after life" you joked to him, he shivered slightly but smiled at your now happy demeanor. "You won't have to worry about me leafing you"

Tighnari

You and Nari had set up camp while you were exploring a new part of the woods. Nari decided to stay up first watch, so you laid down and closed your eyes...

It was everywhere, the withering zones had taken your home... your people. You looked at Gandharva Ville only to find the bodies of the ones you called family. Many researchers, watchers, and adventures laid on the ground. However, two of them had specifically caught your eye. The green-haired girl and the male with large ears laid limp on the ground, as if they were peacefully resting. Your throat erupted in a crackled sob as you tried to wrap your head around what was happening.

But a strong smell woke you up from your horrid imagination. Your eyes went wide, and you were met with gorgeous brown and green ones. He removed the herbs from under your nose "hey" he said quietly, his tail sort of hugging your waist. "You were whimpering. Why don't you grab the blanket and lay on my lap while I watch?" He offered. You shook your head and joined him outside. His delicate fingers drew intricate drawings on your back as you closed your eyes.

Thoma

Aether jumped up and grabbed the vision from Raiden. The two of them continued to fight. Thoma still restrained by the guards you watched in fear as your fiance went to go assist his blonde friend. However, in a swift motion, the guards' spear entered his abdomen.

Red painted the floor underneath his body, and you yelled his name as you tumbled to his body. His hand reaching out to you before falling limp.

You gasped, now fully awake from your traumatic dream. You turn to your fiancé who was now looking at you with confused eyes. "Hey, what's going on, my love?" He asked. You pounced on him, hugging his chest tightly, gaining a quiet humph from his chest.

"Please don't leave me," you said as tears dripped from your eyes, his heart panged against his chest. "I would never, ever. I promise to you." He softly kissed your forehead and hugged you close. "Don't let those bad memories flood your brain, I'm here and I'm not leaving."

Wanderer (kuni)

You and Kuni had dated for about 50 years before he turned into the 'wanderer', he was an awful person. But, he always had a spot for you, and so you stayed. So watching the man you love trample to the ground, only to come back again and not know who he was.... in simple terms destroyed you.

Yes he gained his memories back, but it still traumatized you to see that happen....

"Who are you?" The wanderer asked, his head tilting a bit to the side. "Kuni. Don't joke like that." You went to go grab his hand but he pulled away, your heart cracking slightly "I'm not joking..." your heart dropped. 'No' you thought to yourself 'this can't actually be happening'.

Your body shot up, catching the attention of the puppet who was at his desk. He turned around and looked at your body, shaking and crying. Though he didn't understand what was going on, he knew that you were in a place of vulnerability.

"Doll? What happened?" he said sternly, "the same nightmare." Your mumble was weak as you hugged yourself tightly. He sighed and walked over to you, getting into the bed. You hugged his chest tightly, as if he wasn't gonna be there the next day. "I am still your same Kuni, just with a small upgrade." He said softly, slowly rubbing your back. It wasn't often that he would be this affectionate. But he had felt guilty for causing you such turmoil. "Go on back to sleep. I'll be right here when you wake up." He said, his words reassuring you. "Promise?" He smiled and nodded "Duh"

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

I think this was good.

[xdarkestdesirex]

Calamity - Hide x f.Reader

Volume Three

Calamity (n.) a great misfortune or disaster

You think you're just like every other 18-year-old girl: just starting college, living alone, and working at a cute cafe, except you aren't because you're a ghoul. Trying your best to blend into a world that isn't your own, and then you meet him. Hide. He's unlike anyone you've ever met, and you slowly fall for him. But will it ever work between the two of you? He's human, and you're not.

This writing contains highly sensitive topics like violence, gore, mental illness, talk of suicide, death, smut, and other mature themes. Reader discretion is advised.

word count 10864

prev

“...I’ll make you understand. Because I’m the only one who can!”

-Tokyo Ghoul Volume 3 #025 Epiphany by Sui Ishida

TW: GORE

——————————

Hide brought me to Anteiku but left only a short time after cause he was initially on his way to a meeting for the festival. Koma was the one at the bar today, and when he saw that I was injured, he quickly wrapped my arm around his shoulder and supported my weight as we went upstairs. The former Devil Ape laid me on my bed and promptly left to get supplies. When he returned, he had a package of meat for me to eat and some bandages for my wound. I gratefully accepted the meat and devoured the whole package while he tended to the gash on my back. 

“Thank you, Koma. You didn’t have to do this for me.” I looked over at him, seeing his face scrunched down in concentration. 

“You’re welcome, kid, but if you don’t mind me asking, how did this happen?” The pompadour man looked at me with concern.

A sigh escaped my lips as I wondered if I should tell him what happened or play stupid. I don’t want Touka to get in trouble; she’s already mad enough at me. I wonder if the plum-haired girl has returned or is still searching for revenge. “Koma,” I look at the male, “Have you seen Touka?” 

Koma’s head cocked sideways as he stared at me with curiosity, “She’s in her room.” 

“Perfect,” I drag my body off the bed, heading out into the hall and towards Touka’s room. The wound on my back was still somewhat deep, but after eating, my regenerative abilities started to kick in, and I could feel the skin slowly heal itself from the inside. As I stood before Touka’s door, an anxious tingle ruptured through my body, and I took a deep, shaky breath to calm my nerves. The plum-haired girl might hate me after what I did, and the thought of having the girl I see as my little sister not wanting anything to do with me makes me terrified. But I had to do what I did. My fingers wrapped around the doorknob, and I twisted it before pushing the door open.

“Touka?” My voice came out softly as I called out to her. I peeked around the door, looking into the younger girl’s room, and saw Touka huddled on her bed. A deep sigh left my lips as I pushed the door open more and made my way in front of the angsty female. 

“I know you hate me right now, but I couldn’t let you do something you would regret.” My (e/c) eyes drifted over Toukas body; her back was leaned against the wall, and her knees were drawn up to her chest. Touka had her amethyst-colored eyes buried into her arms that rested on her knees. I just wanted to reach out and pull her into a hug, but I knew her boundaries; I would be crossing them if I did that. The plum-haired girl just sat on her bed with no movement, no sound, and it broke my heart more than if she were to yell at me. Touka lifted her head, and as she looked into my eyes, all I could see was the rage that encompassed her. 

“How dare you stop me.” Touka spat out, “Hinami deserves someone to stand up for her! For Ryoko!”

I stare back into the young girl’s eyes and try to get her to see the seriousness in my eyes. “They wouldn’t want you to do that for them. Hinami needs someone to be with her, to love her, and to help her as she grieves. The last thing she needs is you getting in trouble, injured, or worse—killed. All because you were trying to ‘stand up’ for her. And you know going out and killing someone is the last thing Ryoko would want you to do.” 

“Whatever… Just leave.” Touka sighed out. I knew there wasn’t more I could say to change her mind, so I did as she asked and left her room. After some time, I knew Touka would be okay, and she’d come to me when she was ready. 

I went underground instead of returning to my room, knowing Yomo would be doing his daily training. The one thing I always admired about my guardian is that he never misses a training day. Yomo strives to be one of the strongest and is determined to protect those around him. Not only did he take care of me, but he also took care of Touka and Ayato for a while. When Hikari, Yomo’s sister, passed away, it was hard on him, and then when Arata, Touka, and Ayato’s dad got killed by the CCG, Yomo took them in as well. But those two ended up going on their own at some point. 

As I entered the underground, I walked toward Yomo and leaned against one of the pillars. I crossed my arms and watched the silver-haired man as he practiced. His movements were fluid and sharp, and you could see his pure strength oozing off his body. My eyes watched Yomo intensely for a few minutes before he finally paused. The silver-haired man walked toward me, picked up his water bottle, and chugged over half of it in a few seconds.

“What are you doing down here?” Yomo asked. His chest heaves up and down as his body calms down from the high of training.

“I want to get stronger,” I say while throwing a towel at Yomo. The older man caught the towel and started wiping the sweat off his face. “Will you train with me again?”

——————————

A week has passed, and I’ve spent every night underground with Yomo. He’s started by brushing up on my old skills, and I guess I’m more out of shape than I thought. I used to be able to land decent hits on Renji, but now I can’t even touch him. He’s gotten stronger over the years, and I’ve let myself weaken. At the end of our training session tonight, I fell to the ground and spread my limbs. My chest heaves up and down as I catch my breath from our intense battle. I have scratches littering all over my skin, but they’re nowhere as deep as I know Yomo could do. He’s been holding back on me, and I’m still sucking. But I did land a hit on him tonight, and I feel pretty proud of myself.

“You did good tonight, kiddo.” The silver-haired man says as he gulps down water from his bottle. I lift my arm into the air and give him a thumbs-up. A deep chuckle escapes my guardian’s mouth, and he walks toward me and leans over my tired body. “We’ll take a break from training during the weekend, and then when next week comes, I’ll teach you some new skills.”

I sit up from the ground, grab my water bottle, and take a few chugs. “Thank god, I thought you were going to torture me without any breaks.” I softly chuckle.

As we collected all our things and headed back up to the cafe, my phone dinged, and I smiled as I saw who the message was from. Hide asked if I still wanted him to come with me to the CCG ward tomorrow to leave my statement about what happened. We haven’t had time to hang out outside of school since he asked me to be his girlfriend, and I was excited to spend tomorrow with him. A dorky smile was plastered on my face as I texted the blonde boy back, and I was oblivious to the dark silver eyes glaring back at me. The sound of a deep ‘ahem’ drew my attention to Yomo. I looked up at him, the bright smile still adorning my face.

“You texting that one boy?” Renji says, crossing his arms over his chest. His grey brows knitted into a frown as he stared down at the phone in my hands. A deep blush creeps up on my cheeks. I haven’t talked to Yomo about Hide and I dating. I’ve been a bit nervous and embarrassed to tell him. What if he got upset? I know he’s very protective of me, and I don’t want him to be mad at me. I also don’t know how to talk about my feelings to him, especially about a boy. A deep sigh leaves my lips, and I glance at the ground.

“Renji, I have something I need to tell you.” My voice comes out quietly.

“You’re pregnant already!?” Renji’s face scrunches into a frown.

My jaw drops to the floor at the words that leave the man who’s like my father. I was shocked and stared at the more prominent man gripping his fist and marching past me. “That’s it. I’m killing him.” I’ve never seen Renji look so mad. The look in his eyes was so scary that even I felt terrified.

I grab Renji’s shoulder and hold him back, “No, no!” I shake my head, “We haven’t– I’ve never–” I didn’t even know what to say. I was so embarrassed to talk about my sex life, more like lack of it, to the man who’s practically my dad. “He’s my boyfriend!” I yell out in a panic. Renji suddenly calms down and looks down at me with his monotonous face. His face might have returned to his usual stoic self, but I can tell he’s relieved.

“Oh, good.” Renji nods his head slightly. “He seems like a good kid.” My face contorted as I looked at the silver-haired man. How can he go from wanting to kill Hide to saying he seems like a good kid? “Just promise me you’ll wait until marriage to have kids.”

My hands shoot up to cover my face, and I groan, “Renji! Please stop…” I run my hands through my hair, “Even if we ever get to that point, we couldn’t have kids together. He’s human, and I’m a ghoul. It wouldn’t work.” 

“That’s a relief.” The silver-haired man said. 

I playfully smacked his shoulder and shook my head. “Promise me you’ll tell me if he ever hurts you.” Renji grips down on my shoulders and stares deeply into my eyes. My heart swells knowing how much this man cares for me. I would give anything to have this moment with my actual father, but to have Renji here means the world to me. 

“I promise.”

Yomo pulls me into a tight hug, and I wrap my arms around him.

“God, I never knew seeing you grow up would make me emotional.” He grabs my face and squishes my cheeks. Then, the silver-haired male leans down and kisses my head. “I love you, kiddo.” 

My eyes gloss over with tears as I look up at him. I can see the emotion in his eyes. It looked like he was on the verge of crying, and I couldn’t help the way my bottom lip juts out. “I love you too… Dad.” The tears start falling down my cheeks. I’ve never called Yomo my dad before, but for some reason, it just felt right. I explained to Renji long ago that he was like a father to me, but I don’t think I could call him dad. Renji has been nothing but understanding towards me. If he wanted me to call him dad, he never voiced it or pushed me because of my boundaries. 

“You…” Renji’s voice cracks as he speaks, and a tear rolls down his cheek. This is the first time I’ve ever seen him cry. “You just called me dad.” 

“I- I did.” I smile softly and wipe the tears away from my face. “You are my father.”

He pulls me back into another tight hug. “I think I can die happy now,“ he chuckles. “When I started caring for you, I always thought it would be weird for you to call me dad, so it wasn’t hard for me to accept that you only used my name. As time passed, I grew to care more about you as a daughter, and I’ve secretly been dying to hear you call me that.” 

My heart squeezed in my chest, and I couldn’t do anything but cry more as Renji confessed how he felt deep down. I always knew he loved and cared for me, but I never knew he felt that way. I thought he was content with me just using his name. Knowing that he’s longed to be called my father for a while makes this even more emotional. I don’t even know where I would be without him. Renji deserves to be called by the actual title he is. Calling the silver-haired man my dad doesn’t mean I’m replacing my actual father who passed away. This man, standing before me and holding me, is my father. 

“Well, I guess I’ll just have to call you dad from now on.” 

——————————

Today’s the day that I’ll be going to the CCG’s 20th ward. After the incident in which Touka tried to attack one of the investigators. Amon, a ghoul investigator, reached out to me and set up a meeting for me to leave a proper statement. Usually, things like this would happen right after an incident, but because of the circumstances and Hide whisking me away, it took Amon some time to set all this up. I stood in front of my mirror and looked over my outfit. I’m wearing light denim jeans, an oversized band tee, and a pair of sneakers. It wasn’t anything crazy or overly impressive. If I was going into the Dove’s lair, I wanted to be comfortable, and being comfortable would help me relax. Or at least I hope it will.

I make my way out of the cafe and meet up with Hide on the sidewalk. He smiles brightly at me as I walk closer, and I hand him a to-go cup of coffee. 

“I made your favorite,” I say. 

It still amazes me that this man is my boyfriend. Like what?! I know it’s only been a week, but I still feel I don’t deserve him. Hide is too kind and caring to be with me. I mean, I’m a ghoul, and deep down, I feel terrible that I can’t fully open up to him. I wish I could rant about my nerves about entering the CCG building, and how terrified I am that everyone in there might know I’m a ghoul. 

Hide takes the paper cup from me, takes a big gulp, and sighs with a smile. “I have the best girlfriend, don’t I?” The blonde boy grabs my hand with his free one and interlocks our fingers together.

I smile softly, lift my cup to my lips, and quickly sip the bitterness. It’s strange how Hide always says the right thing at the right time. It was almost like he knew I was thinking badly about myself. Hide leans down and kisses my cheek softly, causing an instant warmth to flood my face. Having Hide show me affection like this will take some time to get used to, but I wouldn’t change any of this. 

“Thank you for coming along with me,” I say as we walk toward the CCG building. 

Hide squeezes my hand reassuringly, “I can only imagine that walking into a building full of ghoul investigators can be intimidating. There’s no way I’d let you face that alone.” The blonde stops in his tracks and turns to look at me with a serious face. “I also want to make sure that big scary guy doesn’t try to accuse you of anything.” 

A small laugh erupts from my chest, and I shake my head softly, “He is kind of scary, isn’t he?” 

If I had to face Amon alone, I’m sure all he would have to do was look at me, and I would crack. Not really. I’m used to being looked at with that kind of face, but I feel like he would be able to sense my nerves and put two and two together. 

As we approach the doors to the CCG building, I squeeze Hide’s hand tightly and take a big breath. Here goes nothing. We walk through the huge glass doors and head straight to the front desk. We tell the lady why we are there, and she tells us to sit in the waiting area. 

“Oh, I know this is kind of a weird moment to give this to you,” Hide reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a box, “But I made this necklace for you.” The blonde boy hands me the box. “I was going to give it to you later, but I can’t wait any longer.” Hide looks toward the ground and scratches the back of his neck.

I twirl the box around in my hands and slowly open it to reveal a sleek chain with the letter ‘H’ dangling on it. The necklace wasn’t anything crazy or fancy, but I loved it nonetheless. I pulled the necklace out of the box, a giant smile etched on my face, and I grazed my finger over the letter. 

“I love it!” I turned around so my back faced Hide, and I held the chain around my neck. “Will you put it on for me?” 

Hide’s soft fingers brush across the back of my neck as he grabs the ends of the necklace. He clasps each end together, and the ‘H’ falls perfectly between my collarbones. 

“My initial looks good on you.” Hide leans into his chair and grins as he takes in my appearance with the necklace on. 

“(L/n) (Y/n).” A deep voice draws Hide and me out of our moment. My head whips around to see a large male, Amon, and a small, frail-looking older man with white shoulder-length hair. The old male looks me over, and his stare sends a shiver down my spine. For some reason, I feel like he already knows I’m a ghoul. I stand from my seat and bow to the two investigators. 

“This is Senior Investigator Mado.” Amon gestures to the frail-looking man, “He’s going to sit in during the interview.” 

I do my best not to look phased in front of the senior investigator, but the older man’s beady eyes pierced right through me. It felt like he had me trapped where I was and that I couldn’t move. My breath caught in my throat, and my chest started to tighten. Fuck. No. Now is not the time for a damn panic attack. Pins and needles began to prick through my body, and if I didn’t calm myself down, I knew I would start shaking. A hand gently rested on my shoulder, and I quickly whipped my head around. My (e/c) eyes looked straight into olive ones. Hide flashed his beautiful smile to me, and suddenly, everything felt okay. I give a weak smile back at the blonde boy. His touch and beaming smile ground me back to reality. I have to hold myself together while I’m in here.

I look back at the investigators, “I hope you don’t mind that my boyfriend joins me?” 

Mado’s eyes move toward Hide, and he looks the bright boy up and down. Hide wasn’t phased at all by the frail man’s intensive gaze. He kept his hand on my shoulder and gave the older man a closed-eyed smile. Mado ticks at Hide’s reaction. I do my best to suppress a laugh at the interaction.

“We don’t mind.” Mado smiles at us sinisterly. 

The two investigators lead us toward the RC scan gate. I had hoped they would take us into a room that didn’t require going through one of those. First, Amon passes through, and nothing happens as he does. Next, it’s Mado, and as he gets through, he turns around, glaring at Hide and me. The blonde boy holds my hand as he walks through, dragging me behind him. I almost planted my feet on the ground to stop him, but there was no escaping. If I don’t go through, they’ll know I’m a ghoul; if I do, they’ll know I’m a ghoul. It’s a lose-lose situation here. 

“Hide, I—” I whisper in fear, trying to convince Hide to let me go, but Hide drags me through the RC scan gate. And nothing happens. I look back at the gate, gawking at it, but quickly regain myself. Looking over at Mado, I smirk at him smugly. Yeah, that’s right, you look like a fool thinking I was a ghoul. Even though I am a ghoul, he doesn’t need to know that. As we walk to one of the meeting rooms in the CCG building, I look back at the RC scan gate. A weird feeling rushes through me. Why would the CCG have a faulty RC scan gate? You’d think they would make sure their gates worked properly. 

Amon led us into a small room with a square table in the middle and four chairs surrounding it. The walls were painted a cream color that bordered on an ugly yellow. On one wall was a large window that overlooked the 20th-ward. The sun shone brightly through the window, illuminating everything inside the small room. We each took a seat in one of the chairs. Hide slid his chair closer to mine, where his knee almost brushed against mine as he bounced his leg up and down. Amon pulled out a notebook from the inside of his coat, put it on the table, then pulled out a pen and clicked it. The buff man looked at his superior for confirmation, and Mado nodded for Amon to begin. 

The dark-haired male cleared his throat and started talking. “I’ll start asking basic questions about you, and then we’ll move on to the real statement.” Amon’s deep voice commanded the room’s attention.

“Okay,” I nodded and waited for him to ask me questions. 

“First off, please state your name,” The pen in Amon’s hand already started writing on the notepad in front of him.

“(L/n) (Y/n).” 

“And how old are you, (L/n)?” 

“I’m eighteen.” 

Amon asks me a few other questions about myself and writes them all down. Hide went still, no longer bouncing his leg, as the dark-haired dove began asking me questions. The blonde's olive eyes watched Amon closely while listening to the investigator's words. I could tell Hide was ready to enter the conversation if it drifted beyond me leaving my statement. 

“Can you explain what you were doing before the ghoul appeared?” Amon asked. The dark-haired male set his pen down and looked right at me with a stern expression. It’s uncanny how Amon and Renji give off similar vibes. If only they weren’t from two different worlds, I would’ve loved to have them meet each other. 

“I was out taking a walk that day to clear my head,” I was trying to keep an eye on my friend, “Things have been stressful for me lately with uni, and I was deep in thought over my school work.” One of my best friends got killed by one of you guys, and my other best friend wants revenge. “I heard someone talking ahead of me, and as I looked up to see where the voice was coming from, I saw this figure flying toward them in the sky.” Touka was about to kill this man. 

 “Without thinking, I jumped in front of Kusaba. I hope I remembered his name properly,” Amon nodded at me and gestured for me to continue, “I jumped in front of him and pushed him out of the way.” I shrugged my shoulders like it wasn’t a big deal. I just did what any average citizen would do, right? 

“So, you just moved on your own?” Amon raised an eyebrow at me.

“Yes, it was like I didn’t have control over my movements.”

The dark-haired male leaned back in his chair and slowly looked me up and down. His gaze was intense, and I could feel my cheeks redden in embarrassment. I glanced at Hide, wondering if he had caught how Amon looked at me. And how Hide was glaring at the other male answered my question. 

“That was very brave of you, (L/n).” The dark-haired dove praises me, “But also very stupid.” Amon then berates me.

Sitting beside Amon, Mado chuckles softly. My mouth gaped open as I went to protest that what I did wasn’t stupid, but I quickly shut my mouth. What I did would be very stupid for a human, especially a human who isn’t a ghoul investigator. If I wasn’t a ghoul and, most importantly, if I weren’t someone Touka cared about, then she would’ve gone through with her attack and killed me no matter what. 

“Have you ever encountered a ghoul before?” Mado asks. The frail-looking man leans forward onto the table and rests his chin on his hands as he looks at me.

“No, like I told Amon, it was my first time encountering one.” I shuddered softly at the thought of a ghoul, playing on the fact that I'd never seen one before. “And I have a mark to remember the encounter for the rest of my life.” I touch my back as I think about the gash Touka created on my back. The wound is fully healed now, and there isn’t any evidence that it ever happened. But my statement did what I wanted it to. Kind of. Amon looked at me like he was sorry I got hurt, but Mado stared at me like he wasn’t entirely convinced about what I was saying. 

“You’re a fortunate girl that the ghoul stopped its attack,” One of Mado’s eyes squints while the other stays wide open, and he cocks his head sideways as he speaks to me, “I wonder why…” 

“My last question is if you looked at the ghoul well? I know they hide their identity, but maybe you caught some identifying feature?” Amon cuts Mado off. 

“No, I’m sorry. I only saw that the ghoul wore a black, ankle-length coat and a rabbit mask.” I say what I know they already know about the ghoul that attacked, “Unfortunately, my back was toward them most of the time, so I didn’t see anything else.” 

“That’s okay,” Amon finishes scribbling on his notepad. “Well, that’s all we needed from you. Thank you for talking with us.” The tall male stands up from his chair and motions toward the door, “I’ll walk the both of you out.” 

Hide and I follow closely behind Amon as he walks us down the hallway of the CCG’s office. I ignored how the inside of the building looked on my way to the interview since I was so nervous. So this time, as we’re walking back toward the public lobby, I let my eyes wander around. The inside of the building looks a lot less creepy than I thought it would. As a kid, I imagined the place where doves worked would look like something out of a horror movie, with ghoul parts hanging around as trophies and murder weapons with blood dripping down them. I guess their quinque is their trophy, along with their murder weapon. 

As we round the hall, we bump into two other ghoul investigators who stop Amon. I hear them asking him about going out to eat, but I’m not paying too much attention to their conversation. An arm wraps around my waist, stealing my attention, and I smile at Hide as he pulls me closer to his side. But the blonde boy isn’t looking at me. Hide looks straightforward, so I drift to where he’s looking and see Kusaba and Nakajima. Ah, I know, he’s jealous cause Kusaba asked for my number. I chuckle softly and raise my hand to poke the blonde boy on his cheek. Hide looks down at me and grabs my hand. He stares into my eyes and touches my hand, kissing my knuckles softly. I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks at the contact, but our moment was interrupted by someone calling out my name.

“(Y/n)!” Kusaba yells while waving his hand frantically at me, “We’re going out to lunch, and you should join us! I owe you for saving my life!” The brunette with glasses says excitedly. “And your boyfriend can come too!” 

I look at Hide with a questioning gaze. Whatever the blonde answered with would be my answer as well. Hide wrapped his arm around my shoulder and flashed Kusaba a bright smile.

“If you’re paying, man, we’d love to!” Hide glanced down at me with a smirk. 

My eyes widened as I looked up at the blonde male. I wasn’t expecting him to agree to this. Now I have to pretend to eat in front of these people. I internally groan, but how Kusaba looks at us makes me feel a bit better. 

“Of course! Let’s go!” Kusaba and Nakajima look happy to have the extra company for their lunch outing, but Amon doesn’t seem as thrilled to have the person he just questioned crash his lunchtime. 

I glare back at the blonde male for agreeing to go with them for lunch. Why did Hide say yes?! I thought he was going to say we had plans, but it seems like he wants to torture me for some reason. I trudge behind the group of men while Hide holds my hand and pulls me along. The three ghoul investigators trail further ahead of us, deep in conversation. As we exited the building, my shoulder accidentally bumped into another person entering the CCG. I look up to apologize to the person I hit for not paying attention, but my voice catches in my throat when I see a pair of plum-colored eyes. Touka? The young girl scoffs as she pushes past me and into the building. Then my eyes land on a dark-haired male, Kaneki, and he quietly apologizes before rushing inside. 

“Hey, that looked kind of like-” I elbow Hide in the side before he can continue talking. I’m not sure what those two are doing here, but I couldn’t let Hide finish what he was going to say. Touka and Kankei dressed in a way that did not allow them to be recognized. If Hide says their real names and the doves we’re with hear him, they might get suspicious of what’s happening or who Hide and I are. 

We entered a small restaurant, and the chef behind the counter greeted us with a joyful smile as we took our seats. I sat next to Kusaba, and Hide sat on my other side. Nakajima was next to Kusaba, and Amon was next to Hide. Nobody but me sees how weird of a group this is—a ghoul out for lunch with three doves and my boyfriend, who’s a human. All my life, I’ve tried my hardest to stay away from ghoul investigators and for them not to know who I am. Now, I’m hanging out with three of them, and they know my identity. God, I’m so fucking stupid. If any of this falls through, I’m dead. Maybe I should just go into hiding after this? Disappear for a while? What if I bring attention to my friends and family? I would never forgive myself if something happened to them because of me.

“(Y/n)!” A hand waves in front of my face, and I turn to my left to look at the male with glasses.

“Oh, sorry, I was lost in thought.” I chuckle softly to brush it off, “What were you saying?” 

“I was just asking if you knew what you would order. It’s on me, so you can get whatever you want!” Kusaba seems like a nice guy, and seeing him sitting here with his friends makes me happy. It makes me feel like I didn’t screw things up by saving his life. It also makes me feel weird that I’m thinking a dove is a nice guy. 

I looked at the menu on the wall before us and reviewed my options. None of them sounded good to me; honestly, the thought of eating a whole meal makes me sick. I bit my lip, thinking about which option I could stomach best. 

“(Y/n) and I will share a meal.” Hide looks at me with a look that makes my heart stop for a moment. His eyes show such understanding that it scares me. There’s no way he knows I’m a ghoul. “She doesn’t usually eat a lot, and I’m always stuck eating her leftovers.” The blonde boy laughs as he explains my eating habits to the other men, even though we have never shared a meal. “So whenever we go out, I just order a bit extra, and we share.” 

The three doves listen closely to Hide as if he’s letting them in on a secret when in a relationship with someone, and the look on Kusaba's face is almost comical. Everyone orders their food, and we talk about random things until our food is in front of us. I grab a pair of chopsticks and pick at the food between Hide and me. It’s been so long since I’ve had to eat in front of others that it made me nervous, but Hide makes the whole thing fun and playful. He picks up some food with his chopsticks and holds it to me. 

A teasing smirk plastered on his face as he brought the chopsticks closer to me, and I leaned forward and wrapped my mouth around them. My eyes were locked onto Hide’s olive ones as I slowly bit the food off his chopsticks, completely forgetting that there were people around us until my eyes drifted to the side and my (e/c) eyes met a pair of teal ones. Amon cleared his throat and turned back to his food with a blush on his face. Great. Someone kill me now. Why did I suddenly feel like making a show of taking a bite off Hide’s chopsticks? My face turns bright red, and I lean back into my seat. A deep chuckle erupts from Hide’s chest as he sees my embarrassed reaction. The blonde boy leans forward, and his breath blows on my ear as he whispers.

“Wasn’t expecting you to do something like that in front of others.” Hide’s voice was low and held a teasing tone to it. He enjoyed seeing me embarrassed like this in front of others. I groan out, lean on the table, and hide my face in my arms. I needed a moment to myself before I could show my face again. 

The rest of the time goes by well, and I avoid any other embarrassing moments. I realize that when Amon and I look at each other, his cheeks get a little pink, and he quickly looks away. We finish our meals, and I get away with eating only a little bit, thanks to Hide. And just like Kusaba said earlier, he ended up paying for everyone's meals, which left Nakajima’s jaw hanging on the floor. Every time they go out for food, Kusaba makes Nakajima pay for his meal, and this is the first time Nakajima has seen Kusaba pay. And the man with glasses isn’t just paying for his meal; he’s paying for everyone's meal. Hide and I say thanks and bid farewell to the three doves as we leave the restaurant. I feel like I can breathe properly for the first time all day. Hide intertwines his fingers with mine as we walk back to Anteiku. We stop outside of the steps that lead up to the cafe door. The blonde male brushes his fingers under my jaw and holds my chin, lifting my face toward his. Hide leans down, his lips just a breath over mine, and my eyes flutter close at the proximity. 

Our lips intertwine, and my senses overfill with how sweet his lips taste. It's almost too sweet. I can feel my kakugan take over my eyes as my body reacts to the taste of Hide on my tongue. I didn’t eat much human food earlier, but enough to weaken me, causing my body to want to regenerate. My ghoul instincts are taking over, and I’m beginning to frighten myself. I can feel Hide about to pull away, but if he sees my eyes, he’ll know what I am. I wrap my arms around the dirty blonde’s neck and pull him closer to me, deepening the kiss. I’m unsure how this will help me recover my kakugan, but doing this is all I can think of right now. 

“Ugh, disgusting.” A familiar voice rings through my ears, and I quickly let go of the blonde male and turn toward my plum-haired friend.

“Touka!” I yell at her. My kakugan is still consuming my orbs, and Touka’s eyes widen as she looks at me. I quickly grab the girl's arm, keeping my face hidden from Hide, and drag her up the stairs into Anteiku. 

“Uh, what just happened?” Kaneki’s quiet voice rips through the air. 

Hide just stands on the sidewalk in a daze with a confused look, “I’m not sure… Maybe girl stuff?”

*

(Y/n)! What’s going on?! Why are your eyes like that?” The plum-haired girl gripped my shoulders as we entered a private area in Anteiku. 

“Hide and I went out to eat, and when he kissed me, my kakugan just took over my eyes.” I wince at the thought of putting Hide in a dangerous situation. That kiss could have turned ugly if I hadn’t controlled myself. 

“This is why we shouldn’t be mixing ourselves with humans!” Touka spat at me, “What if he saw your eyes!?” 

“He didn’t!” I yell back at the younger girl. Even though I’m older than her, she treats me like I’m a child and she’s an adult. 

“How can you be sure?” Touka crossed her arms over her chest, and her eyes narrowed into a deep glare.

I lean back against the wall and rake my fingers through my hair. My chest rises and falls with a deep sigh. “Do you think that situation would’ve gone the way it did if he saw?” God, my voice sounded so pathetic when I spoke. My eyes focus on the ground, not wanting Touka to see how my eyes glaze over with sadness. Ultimately, she’ll probably be right about everything, but until then, I just want to be happy. 

“Right, sorry.” The plum-haired girl walks toward me and rests her back against the wall beside me. “So, what were you doing at the CCG?”

“I had to leave a statement about what happened.” I clenched my fingers and slowly released them, “It was really strange.” I lifted my head to look at Touka. “I had to walk through the RC scan gate, and I thought that was it. That I was going to die, but when I stepped through it, nothing happened.” 

The plum-haired girl stared at me, thinking about what I said. “That is strange…” We stand together in a comfortable silence. After I interfered with Touka and Kusaba, I thought she’d hate me forever, but here we are, and Touka isn’t ripping my head off. 

“I went to the CCG to leave a false tip about Hinami, hoping it’ll lead the doves far away from her.” Touka closed her eyes and stayed like that momentarily before pushing off the wall. “Thanks, I guess, for stopping me.” Was the last thing the plum-haired girl said before walking to her room. 

——————————

It’s been another long day working at Anteiku, and I muster a bright smile for our last customers as they walk out the door. I quickly ran to the door, flipped the open sign to close, and locked the door. The bitter smell of coffee beans wafts through the air due to the amount of beans we brewed today. I’m sure the smell has seeped into my clothes and hair. Coffee is probably integrating into my scent at this point. I’ll have to ask Hide if he smells it on me next time I’m with him. 

I walk to the back room of the cafe and grab a bottle of disinfectant and a clean rag. Slowly, I start spraying down all the tables and cleaning them off, and once the tables are clean, I do the same with the chairs. At the end of each night, we flip the chairs upside down and set them on top of the tables, and it would just be gross if I didn’t disinfect the chairs before doing that. I mean, just think about it: the part of the chair where people sit lying on a table where you eat and drink without disinfecting it? Disgusting. Once the tables and chairs are adequately cleaned and disinfected, I set the chairs on top of the tables. Then, I return to the other room and prepare the mop. Before the mop head touched the ground, Kaneki shouted at me.

“Hinami is missing!” 

My head whips around, and the mop falls from my hands, creating a ‘thud’ sound as it hits the ground. “What!?” I rush over to Kaneki. The dark-haired male’s face is frighteningly pale, and his chest heaves up and down. 

“She’s not in her room, and we can’t find her elsewhere!” 

I rest my hands on Kaneki’s shoulders and meet the boy’s dark eyes. “Where’s T–” A body dashes by me, and I follow right after it without thinking. I didn’t need to see who it was to know it was Touka. 

We dashed through the city, not caring about anything around us, as we looked for Hinami. It doesn’t take long for us to lose Kaneki since he’s not as fast as us. Touka is a faster ghoul than me, but I can still keep up with her. Maybe if this had happened a few weeks ago, I would have fallen behind, but my stamina has grown thanks to my training with Renji. 

The further we go, the more potent a particular smell gets, and I wrinkle my nose in disgust. It smells like a dead ghoul. A dead ghoul that smells similar to…

“Hinami!” Touka and I yell in unison as we look at one another. Our pace picks up, and we quickly find ourselves under a bridge. Hinami sits on river rocks, up against the bridge, with her head buried into her knees. My heart breaks at the sight of the little girl. She’s been suffering, and I’ve barely done anything to help her. We approach the little brunette, and Touka speaks softly, saying it’s time for us to go home. 

“N-no…” Hinami’s voice cracks as she speaks. The young girl lifts her head slightly. Dark circles ring around the poor girl’s eyes, and she looks so… hopeless. “It doesn’t matter where I go. I’m going to get killed anyway.” Hinami sniffles and rests her cheek on something that looks like… Wait, is that a hand she’s holding? 

“That newspaper, it said a ghoul targeted a ghoul investigator.” The petite brunette looked at Touka. Hinamis eyes were dull and lifeless—something I didn’t want to witness from this sweet girl. “You tried to kill him? Didn’t you?” My eyes drifted toward Touka, and the plum-haired girl was looking at the ground, teeth mashed together and hands clenched into fists at her side. 

“They probably think I did it…” Touka tried to step forward and protest but grabbed the teenager’s arm and shook my head. What Hinami says is hard to listen to, but she needs to get her feelings out. “Those people who killed my mom are coming for me…” 

Touka rips her arm out of my grip and stands directly in front of Hinami, but she pauses when she notices what Hinami is holding. “Hina, what is that?” 

“It’s mom’s…” Hinami chokes on a sob, and I quickly go to the little girl’s side. Kneeling, so I’m at her height. I wrap my arms around her and pull the little girl to my side. My hand caresses her hair, and I whisper soft words to try and help her relax. 

“Why did this happen?” Tears start falling down the little girl’s cheeks, and I squeeze her closer to me. Tears threatened to spill from my own eyes. “Aren’t ghouls allowed to live!?” Hinami cries out. Fuck! Why can’t this world be fair? Do young ghouls have to suffer like this? To lose parents? I’m not one to see red, but at this moment, seeing Hinami so broken, all I want to do is hurt those who have hurt her. 

Touka explained how she went to the CCG and spoke with them, saying that they didn’t know much about Hinami and that the only people who knew what she looked like were those who saw her. The plum-haired girl kneeled on the rocks beside us and joined in on our makeshift hug. 

“We’ll protect you, Hinami,” Touka whispers out. 

A soft smile grows on my face, and I nod, agreeing, “We won’t let anything happen to you.”

The little girl sniffles and looks between us, “You promise?”

Holding out my pinky finger, I say, “I pinky promise.” 

Touka then brings her pinky finger next to mine, “Pinky promise.” 

Hinami smiles brightly and lifts her pinky finger, and the three of us intertwine our pinkies in a promise. We won’t ever let harm come to this sweet girl. 

After our heartwarming moment, Touka stands up to call Kaneki and tell him we have found Hinami. I stay by the little brunette’s side, and she wraps her hand around mine. I squeeze Hinami’s hand and smile sweetly at her. Once we return home, I’ll spend more time with her and ensure she is healing properly. 

Touka’s voice goes quiet, and the sound of a man speaking makes the hairs on my neck stand. “Ah, it’s good to see you again, Fueguchi’s daughter and…” I turn around to see the frail-looking man standing at the end of the bridge. “Oh?” His unstable eyes look into mine, and I feel my body sifting like a board. Quickly, I step in front of Hinami, not wanting him to see the little girl or get close to her. 

“(L/n) and Yamaguhi.” Mado’s eyes widen at the sight of us. “I knew Yamaguchi, or should I say, The Rabbit, was hiding something, but I wasn’t expecting to see you here.” The older man throws his head back and laughs. “This is quite the circumstance.” Mado’s face contorts into disgust. “It makes me sick. A monster, of all things, wishing for a peaceful life!“ He yells out.

The white-haired man gripped his briefcase close to his side, and I could see his finger push down on a button next to the handle. I grab Hinami in my arms and jump back, feet sliding on the rocks as I dodge Mado’s attack. I grit my teeth together and feel my eyes change into kakugan. No matter what happens, I’ll protect Hinami and help Touka!

“Did you enjoy my gift?” the white-haired man smirks sinisterly. “I figured you missed your mom and left you her hand.” An evil laugh erupts from Mado’s lips. “You fell right for it!” 

Mado lungs for another attack, but Touka jumps out, stopping his quinque from getting close to us. The older male scuffs and praises Touka for how she fights, declaring that she could be as strong as The Owl if she weren’t going to die today. I watch closely as Touka charges at the ghoul investigator. Touka’s sight focuses on her target. Mado reaches behind himself and pulls out another briefcase. Before he can press the button, I jump forward and pull Touka out of the way.

Large butterfly-like wings spread out from the case. My face drops as I notice why this quinque looks so familiar. It’s Ryoko’s kagune. I turn back to look at Hinami, and she’s covering her face with her hands, screaming at the sight of her mother's kagune getting used. Touka and I charge at Mado. I don’t care what I said before. I’m killing this bastard. The dove swings his quinque, knocking me to the ground, but he ends up penetrating Touka’s abdomen. The plum-haired girl gets pinned to one of the pillars holding up the bridge above us.

“Touka!” I call out her name as I push myself out of the water I landed in. My clothes were soaked, but I couldn’t feel the coldness as it seeped into my bones. My body was numb with rage, and the only thing I could feel was my thirst for blood. My surroundings blur as I rush at Mado, my kagune ready to strike, and as I get close, I slash down his back. The older man laughs out in pain. This sick fuck. Laughing after I just injured him. He swings Hinami’s dad’s kagune at me, landing a hit on my shoulder. It punctures right through me, and then he quickly pulls it back. Blood sputters up my mouth, but I refuse to give him the satisfaction of seeing me spit it out. So I swallow it down. 

As I move to make another hit at Mado, something flies past my head, barely brushing against my cheek. I watch in shock as Mado’s hand slides off of his wrist and falls into the water below us. Blood squirts out from his wound, and he stares bug-eyed at his missing hand. Turning to look behind me, I see Hinami crying, and her kagune is protruding from her back. This is the first time I’ve seen Hinami’s kagune, and I’m sure it’s her first time using it. If this were under different circumstances, I would tell her how beautiful she looks and that she’s so lucky to have her father and mother’s kagune—a piece of each person she’s missing.

“My mom…” The poor brunette sniffles as she rubs at her eyes, “My dad…” I slowly start to move to the side, feeling like the little girl is going to explode any second, and I don’t want to get caught in the crossfire.

“DON’T DO THE SAME THING YOU DID TO THEM!” Hinami yelled. And just like I expected, her kagune went wild and started lashing out toward Mado. As she thrashed out, the young brunette wasn’t paying attention to her attacks. Her kagune whipped around Mado, threatening to hit him, and all the older man did was cry out in excitement for wanting the young girl's kagune. He was acting like a kid in a candy shop, and seeing him sickened me. One of Hinami’s attacks finally hit Mado, slicing his lower leg right off his body. Even with this severe injury, that crazy old man persisted in collecting Hinami’s kagune.

“Finish him!” Touka yells out to Hinami. My eyes dart over to the plum-haired girl in shock. How could she ask that of Hinami? She’s just a little kid. Hinami shouldn’t carry the burden of killing anyone.

The brunette girl falls to her knees in the river and cries. “Revenge doesn’t matter to me. I’m just sad.” Hinami’s kagune shrinks up into her back. “I miss my mom and dad so much. I just want to be with them again. It’s so lonely by myself.”  

“Oh, Hina…” I understand how she feels. She’s not much older than I was when my parents got killed. Going through something like this, especially at such a young age, is so hard. No ghoul or human should ever experience this pain. This whole encounter shows just how messed up this world is. Us ghouls deserve happy lives, too. 

The sound of something dragging through the water caught my attention, and I saw Mado reaching to grab his quinque.

“Oh, give it a…” His voice echoes off the walls of the bridge. Touka is on the move to end Mado, but something inside me screams to do it first. So I beat Touka to it. I slice Mado’s neck. His blood gushes out onto my face. My body just stands there frozen as I watch him clutch his throat. Gargling noises are all he’s able to make as he falls onto his knees, and then his whole body falls over into the river. The entire scene played out in slow motion before me. I just killed him. I haven’t killed in years. A vile taste pushes its way up my throat, and I lean the other way to throw up. 

“(Y/n)! I could’ve done it!” Touka looks at me with concern. 

I wipe my mouth to clear away any vomit, but I just end up spreading Mado’s blood on my face. “You shouldn’t need to.” My voice comes out softly. “I’m the oldest.” I try to steady my breath. “I’ll protect the both of you.” I flash Touka and Hinami a caring smile. Neither of them should carry this kind of burden. I know Touka struggles with these things, even if she’s killed multiple people before. That’s why I couldn’t let her kill Kusaba and why I stepped in to kill Mado. Even if it kills me on the inside to do it, I’ll do anything for those I love.

“Hey! You guys okay?” Kaneki yells out to us as he runs under the bridge, but my eyes skip past him to Renji. 

“Dad…” Suddenly, seeing Renji, I felt I could finally release all my emotions, but I bit my lip as the tears threatened to spill. His silver eyes widen at the sight of me covered in blood. His instinct is to grab and pull me into his embrace, but he stops after taking a step forward. I watch him closely as his nose moves in the air.

“Someone’s headed this way. We have to go.” We all collectively nod our heads.

Renji bends down in front of HInami, offering her his back, and she gladly climbs on. We start making our way in the direction of the cafe. Everyone is quiet, and you can only hear nature’s lullaby. I walk next to Renji, who holds his hand out to me, and I quickly interlace our fingers together. If I weren’t so drained of emotions, my heart would be swelling at the gesture, but even happy feelings feel too much right now.  

After walking in silence, Hinami quietly asked, “Is it okay for me to live?” 

“I think what Ryoko was trying to tell you that day was to live.” Kaneki’s sweet voice answered back.

The little girl nods in agreement and chokes back a sob as she buries her face in Renji’s back. I glance back at Kaneki, who’s pestering Touka to see if she’s okay and needs help. The interaction is cute as the plum-haired girl denies his help but gives in anyway when he wraps her arm around his shoulder. I bet they’re going to end up together at some point. Kaneki is good for Touka; he’s good for everyone. Being half human and half-ghoul, he sees things differently from us. With Kaneki by our side, I’m sure he’ll open our eyes to new perspectives.

Once we make it to Anteiku, I go into the meat fridge, grab a wrapped piece of meat, and head to my room. This wound in my shoulder needs to heal, and the only way to help it heal faster is to eat. I sit down on the floor of my room and undo the package. I don’t even bother to eat nicely. I just pick up the meat with my fingers and start eating it. When I finish, I strip myself of my clothes and throw them in the trash. There’s no salvaging them with all the blood and rips on them. I make my way to my bathroom and turn on the hot water. Once it reaches my desired temperature, I step inside and let the hot water seep into my skin. The water runs red for a few minutes before it finally changes to clear. I washed my hair and skin about four times to ensure I got all the dirt and blood off myself. The wound on my shoulder is still visible, but it’s not as bad as it originally was.

I get out of the shower, dry my body, and wrap my hair in a microfiber towel. I then slip on some sweatpants and an oversized shirt. Once cleaned and dressed, I leave my room and go down the hall to Renji’s room. My knuckles tap softly against the wooden door, and the silver-haired man's voice pierces through, saying to come in. I push the door open and see Renji lying on his bed. My feet shuffle against the ground as I approach his bed, climb over his blanket, slide up next to Renji, and lay my head on his chest. He wraps his arms around me and holds me close.

“I killed him.” My voice is barely above a whisper as I speak.

Renji’s lips press to the top of my head, and his hand rubs up and down my back. “It’s okay, kiddo. You were just protecting those around you.” 

“I- I don’t like doing it, but I will if I have to.” I bury my face into Renji’s chest as the hot, salty tears stream down my face. We lay there in his bed as he held me and let me release all my emotions. Suddenly, my phone went off, and I would have ignored it if it hadn’t been for the ringtone. I grabbed my phone from my pocket and hit the green button.

“Hide?” My voice is hoarse as I speak due to all my crying.

“Hey, I just got done talking to Kaneki. He says you had a rough night. Are you okay? Do you need me to come and get you?” Hide’s voice is frantic on the other end of the line, and I can hear him rustling around in his apartment. He is undoubtedly getting ready to come pick me up no matter what I say. I look up at Renji, who’s still holding me against his chest, a smile blooming as I look at the man I now call Dad. As much as I would love to see Hide after everything, I just want to spend time with Renji. The way Renji looks at me tells me he knows what I’m thinking, but he shakes his head and mouths ‘go.’ I look at the silver-haired male with a bit of confusion. But I’m a good kid, and I know there’s a reason Renji is telling me to go and not stay here with him.

“I’m feeling a bit better, but yeah, could you come get me?” I answer the blonde back.

“I’m already out the door! I’ll be there in 20!” 

I hang up the phone, sit up on the bed, and look at Renji. “Why did you tell me to go?”

“There comes a time in a father’s life where it isn’t his job to comfort his daughter anymore. Let him be there for you, even if you can’t fully tell him what’s wrong.” Renji sits up next to me and leans over to place another kiss on my forehead. 

“Who knew the scary Yomo Renji could be so sappy.” I laugh and throw my arms around Renji’s neck for one last hug. “I love you, dad.” 

“I love you too, (Y/n).” 

I leave Renji’s room and head back into mine to slip some sneakers onto my feet. I wasn’t going to bother with putting myself together to see Hide. I slowly went downstairs, waiting in the dark cafe until the blonde texted me, saying he arrived. Once I leave the cafe door, Hide rushes up the steps next to me and pulls me into his chest. I wrap my arms around his waist and breathe in his scent. My body instantly relaxes, and I melt into Hide’s hold. 

“What happened?” The blonde’s olive eyes search mine to make sure I’m okay.

“A lot…” I squeeze my arms around Hide, “I don’t want to talk about it if that’s okay. I just want to be with you.”

Hide pulls back from our hug, and his soft, slender fingers grip my chin and lift my face toward his. “I’m always here for you, (Y/n).” He releases me from his hug but laces his fingers through mine. “When we get to my apartment, I’ll make us a hot cup of coffee, and we’ll snuggle on the couch while watching a movie.” The blonde smiles at me, and I feel my heart warm up. “You could even stay the night if you want to?” 

A soft pinkness blooms on both of our cheeks from his question. It wouldn’t be the first time, but it would be the first time it was deliberate. “I would like that.” 

We made it to Hide’s apartment, and I removed my shoes at his door and followed the blonde boy into the kitchen. I took a seat at the dining room table and watched Hide as he grabbed a bag of coffee grounds and began brewing us some coffee. The bitter scent mixed with the overwhelming smell of Hide sets my senses at ease. I thought I was feeling better, but being here with Hide proves I’m only starting to feel better now. Hide walks toward me as the coffee is brewing into the pot and stops once he’s in front of me. A goofy look spreads on his face, and I look up at the dirty blonde with my eyebrows scrunched together. 

“What are you–?” Hide then leans down, cupping the sides of my face in his hands, and starts peppering kisses everywhere. I close my eyes and lose myself in the feeling of his lips as he doesn’t miss an inch of skin on my face. Hide’s kisses slow down as they reach my jaw, making each one linger as he moves his lips closer to mine. Finally, his lips meet mine in a sweet, intoxicating kiss. My fingers find their place in his hair, and I tug at his locks as our kiss deepens. But as quickly as it starts to pick up, he slows it down and pecks my lips one last time before pulling away. 

Hide turns back into the kitchen and grabs two mugs, pouring the bitter hot liquid into each. The blonde then opens the door to his fridge, pulls out a creamer bottle, and pours it into one of the cups. Hide hands me the cup of black coffee, and I raise the mug to my lips, blow on the hot beverage, and then take a small sip. I can feel it heating my insides; the sensation is pleasant. We enter the living room and settle on the couch together. Hide lies across the sofa, and I crawl on top of him and snuggle into his chest. He puts on some comedy movies, and I do my best to pay attention, but the sound of Hide’s heartbeat and his body heat drifts me to sleep. It isn’t long before I fall asleep on Hide.

——————————

AN: I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG

First, let's talk about that moment between the reader and Yomo... HAD ME CRYING. I debated removing it and saving that for a later scene, but it felt right when I read this back. 

Second, there is a reason why Hide gave the reader that necklace when he did, and why he said yes to lunch with the three doves. Comment below with your guesses on why! You'll get the answer in later chapters!

Third, ahaha... Amon thinks the reader is an attractive, strong, independent woman. That's why he has his moment of looking the reader up and down after the reader explains how she moved on her own. Nothing will happen there besides Amon's attraction (this is a Hide fic!), but  Amon won't be able to forget how you ate off those chopsticks. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Fourth, I originally planned to have the reader fight alongside Kaneki during his first fight against Amon, but I was STRUGGLING with this. The storyline didn't flow, and I needed something that sounded good to me. I was like, "Wait, the reader should fight with Touka!" I also really liked the idea of having Mado know that the reader was a ghoul before he died, so I went with that!

I have so much planned for volume four, and I'm excited to write down these ideas that have been swimming around in my head! Volume four is the one chapter I've been looking forward to writing since I started this story! So, I hope everyone sticks around for it! 

Thank you for reading my story! I hope you've enjoyed it so far!

[ashleyh713fanfics]

Dazai X Odasaku!Sister "Timeless" P1

Hello! I've been writing for awhile but this is the first time writing bsd. I gave Oda's sister a name but I'll do a version with y/n if that's more your speed. Synopsis: After Odasaku's death Dazai searches for a way to fulfill his last request but doesn't know where to start. That is until he meets Odasaku's mysterious little sister. Warnings: Usual bsd warnings. Murder, talks of death and suicide, Dazai being a sociopath. Part 1/3

Osamu Dazai was not a good man. 

In fact, it would be absurd to even call him an average man. No, it seemed the fifteen year old boy knew just what kind of evil laid in every single cell of his body. It had always been that way, corrupting him for his entire life and there was no stopping it. 

So the mafia executive had just accepted it, falling in line as the youngest person to ever command a fleet with absolutely no mercy. That’s just the way things were, and there was no changing them. Although, it wasn’t like the boy wanted change either. 

The chaos, the destruction, the death, it was all he had known. 

Hearing his newest victim's scream seemingly brought him out of his own philosophical thought though, causing the boy to lower his eyes and focus back in on the chained man in front of him. 

Quite honestly, he had forgotten what the guy was being captured and tortured for but Dazai hardly cared, knowing his orders were only to silence him permanently. 

Blood began to pour down the victim's face then, watching as the teenage boy reached for the gun on his belt only for the guy to start to scream and shout in his face. “Think about what you're doing, boy! If you kill me you’re going to regret it.” 

Dazai only turned his head though, a crazed look in his eye as he cocked the ammunition. “You should have thought about that before double crossing the port mafia.” 

Taking a step forward, the boy then pointed the barrel towards the man only for his anger to turn into pure fear, his cries turning into silence as he fully looked in the eyes of his executioner. 

And what he saw was absolutely nothing, just a soulless boy with no remorse for his actions in the slightest. “Your eyes hold no feeling, Someday that will be your downfall, someday you will regret the blood you spill so easily.” 

For a moment, the bandaged boy paused, curiosity taking up his features as he spoke through the darkness. “And why is that?” 

The prisoner then pulled against his chains, lunging for the kid to no avail as his face contorted in insanity in order for him to reply. “Because one day, there won't be a stranger on the other side of that gun. What will you do then?”

Before he could finish, Dazai’s finger pulled the trigger, piercing the enemy five times straight as his lips curled into a bloodthirsty and terrifying smile. 

And in his head, the boy replied to his outrages question as the blood began to soak his feet silently. The same thing I always do, because I don't see anyone but strangers. 

The man's lifeless body slumped against the chains a moment later as Dazai let off ten more shots into his cold dead muscles as he twitched at the impact. The move was inhumane and psychotic but that was always Dazai’s way of doing things. 

He didn’t become a port mafia executive without spilling blood after all. 

After a moment, the barrel of his gun clicked him back to reality, all the bullets emptied in order for the boy to simply put the weapon back onto his belt and leave the room in silence.  

He felt no remorse for the stranger, or for the brutal way he had ended his life. He never did. Everything had become such second nature to him over time. 

Well, there was one person that knew him better than the rest. He was the person that he trusted over all else, almost like a family he never had. The words were still heavy on his mind even now.

Oda Sakunosuke

And whether Dazai liked it or not, he knew that Odasaku was the only one that kept him from going over the deep end into insanity. He kept the fifteen year old boy together and kept him human. 

But now he was dead, so there was no one left to hold back the darkness. 

So instead Dazai allowed it to fully swallow him whole. 

Just then, his phone began to ring inside his pocket before the boy finally put his gun away and answered the call with a low murmur. “Mori, what do I owe the pleasure?” 

HIs boss’s voice was immediate, echoing through the darkness. “Ah Dazai, how’s my favorite executive doing? What’s the report?” 

Staring at the unmoving body, Dazai then sighed to himself before turning away from the sight in order to scrape some of his blood off his shoes. “The target has been eliminated just like you asked.” 

Mori only hummed at that, satisfied with the report. “Very good. Just as expected from the famous demon prodigy. I thought you could use a job after everything that’s happened. You know, to clear your mind from Odasaku’s tragic death last week.” 

At the sound of Oda’s name, the boy couldn’t help but tighten his hold on the phone as unwanted memories flooded into him without permission. 

Because try as he may, Dazai couldn’t help but continue to hear his dear friend's words in the back of his head. Oda told him to become a good man but that was easier said than done. And though he wanted to fulfill his last wish, the boy had no idea what the mere concept of good was. 

For you see, his blood was port mafia black through and through whether he liked it or not. It wasn’t a light switch he could flick in his mind. No, Dazai knew that he had been permanently tainted since he was a child, and there was no reversing that. 

He was no longer a fifteen year old kid but rather the demon prodigy. 

And demons couldn’t be cleansed into angels. They just couldn’t. 

But because of that, the boy felt a gnawing guilt at the bottom of his stomach at all times of the day. It’s like it was punishing him for ignoring his old friend's request. But quite honestly, he knew he deserved it.

Oda was wrong after all, he couldn’t become a good person. 

He didn’t even know what good was.

Dazai then felt his mind snap back into place just as he heard Mori finish one of his usual rambles as the boy narrowed his eyes. The boss totally brought up Odasaku because he knew it would garner a reaction from him. 

But he wasn’t going to allow that. No, he was too prideful to show his flaws.

Because of that, the boy then forced a smile to his lips before speaking plainly. “Is there anything else you need from me, boss?” 

The title came out slightly demeaning, Dazai using the term boss with a twinge of mocking vigor to get under his skin. The boy loved to do that, walking the fine line between respect and disrespect. 

“Not partially. I just wanted to see how you were doing. He was your friend after all.” Mori’s sharp dark laugher filled up the space as the boy physically flinched at the world friend. 

But once again, Dazai refused to give him satisfaction, the boy simply smiling to myself before turning his head to the side in reply. “I’m great. Thanks.”

Then Dazai simply hung up the phone, the empty space echoing with a long dial tone as he dropped his bandaged arm down to his side as the sunken dead look in his eyes stared at the empty walls for what seemed like forever. 

He wanted to see how he was doing?

Of course he wasn’t doing okay.

--------

Dazai had tried to go back to his room at the port mafia but the longer the night got, the more his tired anxious eyes refused to shut. And when they did, he saw Odasaku’s life slip from his fingers, just like it had a week ago. 

The boy cursed Mori for bringing up such fragile memories so casually, his body tossing and turning with a groan before finally giving up in order to wander the night streets aimlessly as the cold winter air hit his face. 

Although he said that though, the boy quickly found himself wandering into a very familiar place, his hands reaching into his pocket in order to pull out a small silver key and push it into the lock. 

The door swung open sadly, allowing the kid to step inside before finally feeling the weight of reality crash down all around him. This was Oda’s place, the apartment where Dazai had found himself many times over the years whenever the mafia felt a little too suffocating. 

It was also the place they would go sometimes after having a few too many drinks at  Bar Lupin.

Glancing over to the empty living room he pictured a memory of the past as he imagined the ghostly silhouettes of himself, Ango and Oda as they drank around the table and laughed as the men showed him some new card game. 

And as cold as Dazai’s heart was now, he missed those times. Why did he take such a thing for granted? Why didn’t he cherish those nights more? He could never get them back no matter how hard he tried. 

In fact, the boy had come here tonight in search of something familiar, for something that reminded him of that safe comforting feeling he always had with his old friends. But now, it was cold and empty, just like how the boy felt on the inside. 

He couldn’t find Odasaku’s presence anywhere, not even in this place. 

Sighing to himself, the boy then walked over to the liquor cabinet in the corner before taking out two glasses and filling them up with whiskey. 

Then Dazai lowered his eyes before placing one of the drinks on the table where Oda used to sit before moving over to the other side with a sigh. 

Staring at the empty, cruel space across from him, the boy then took a sip of his whiskey as an unwanted wave of emotion coursed through his throat. “Odasaku..” 

Suddenly, the entrance to his friend’s apartment started to jiggle and move, like someone was on the other side, as Dazai felt his defenses awaken immediately.

 It sounded like someone was trying to break in. But who? Oda told him the only people that knew this place were him and Ango. 

Quickly taking out his gun, the boy then narrowed his eyes before slipping out of slight just as the door flew open a moment later. Whoever was trying to steal from his old friend was going to pay for sure. 

Dazai then listened carefully as a pair of shoes moved across the wooden floors, the movement halting as the stranger seemingly stopped to stare at the two strange whiskey glasses on the table. 

He couldn’t see very much from the angle he was in, only that the stranger was wearing a large black hoodie, the fabric covering up the entirety of their frame and hiding their identity completely. 

They then leaned down to touch one of the glasses as the boy quickly cocked his gun in order to place the barrel of his gun onto the back of their temple as the stranger froze. 

And when he spoke, it was lethally calm. “Who are you? What are you doing here?”

The stranger was quiet as he watched their hands reach towards their jacket pocket only for the Dazai to assume it was a gun and take action. No, he wasn’t an idiot. Like this guy could pull a fast one on him. 

Because of that, Dazai’s face immediately hardened before reaching forward in order to grab the intruder's arm, his fingers wrapping around the surprisingly slim surface before kicking their legs out from under them as they fell backwards onto the ground. 

The boy hardly noticed them give a small squeak of surprise at the move. 

Pushing the barrel of the gun towards the stranger, the boy added slowly. “You have one chance. Tell me why you’re here.” 

The person underneath him tried to squirm but Dazai didn’t let them free, tightening his hold on the trigger before narrowing his eyes. If they didn’t want to tell them who they were then he could just examine the corpse later. 

Yet that’s when they heard the intruder speak, soft and quiet, barely above a whisper. And call him crazy but they sounded feminine. “I’m looking for someone.” 

Not understanding, he dug deeper. “Who?” 

The girl was quiet then, her voice trailing away only for his gun to push even deeper to her temple in warning. No, he wouldn’t allow her to stay silent after dishonoring his old friend's old place. 

A moment later she spoke again, except this time the boy was in no way prepared for her answer. “My big brother.” 

And try as he may, the demon prodigy paused at that, his hand frozen on the gun as he couldn’t help but turn his head to the side. What the hell was she talking about? Why would her big brother be at Oda’s old place? 

Although that’s when a crazy possibility popped into his head before the boy brushed it away immediately. No, that was ridiculous. There was no way.

Scoffing at the idea, Dazai frowned. “Your what?”

The stranger then seemingly sighed to herself before lifting her hand up as his defenses slammed back up in case she tried to try something funny. “He stopped answering my letters a week ago so I thought something might have happened to him. I hopped the first flight I could get and followed the return address on his envelopes.”

Then he watched her reach into her pocket only for his hand to push it back with a lot of anxiety. He didn’t trust this girl, she could’ve been lying, screwing him over. “Nice try but I wouldn’t try anything if I were you. I’m not in the best mood right now.”

Stopping immediately, the intruder’s hand grew tense and rigid against his fingers and for a moment the boy thought she was going to fight back or use some unknown ability on him. 

Not that it would matter though considering his ability canceled out everyone else’s. She didn’t stand a chance, especially while he was holding her. No, Dazai would win. It was a guarantee. 

Yet it seemed like the girl wasn’t as dumb as he once anticipated, her hand unmoving as she allowed the boy to hold her captive. “Then grab it yourself and see I’m not lying.” 

Grab it himself? No, why would he do that? That would just give her the opportunity to stab him or inject him with some kind of poison or something.

 Yet the alternative of having her retrieve whatever it is she was trying some him was equally dangerous. No, he couldn’t allow her that kind of freedom. 

Because of that the boy narrowed his eyes before hastily reaching his hand out in order to shove it inside the girl’s small pocket on the front side of her drawstring sweatshirt only to pull out a folded envelope just like she had described. 

Lifting up the white paper to his face, the boy then recognized the very same address they were at right now, Oda’s address, the one that no one was supposed to know except him and Ango. It was suspicious and strange but she also seemed to be telling the truth. 

Just then, Dazai’s face started to grow insanely pale, shaking away the thought before crumbling the empty envelope in his fingers with a scared mutter. “What is your name?”

Her response was immediate, causing the fifteen year old boy’s eyes to widen and his world to come crashing down around him. “Asagao Oda.”

Suddenly, it felt hard to breathe, to think as the boy’s lips slipped out a breathy gasp in reply. No, it couldn’t be. She was fucking with him. There was no way, there was no way he wouldn’t have known about that. Oda was his best friend and he never mentioned this. 

Shaking his head in denial, Dazai’s hand began to shake on his gun, his teeth gritting together as he shoved the barrel further into her hidden temple. “Now I know you’re lying. How about you try again?”

The stranger could see this also though, her body moving once again in order to prop herself up onto her elbows and put her hands out in some kind of defense. “I know it’s probably hard to believe but I am..I’m....

Yet the moment Dazai saw movement, his crazed eyes snapped down to the girl before reaching forward in order to grasp onto the top of her hood with a furious shout.” Bullshit, who are you?!” 

How dare she deceive him by telling such crazy lies. She would pay for that, for soiling Oda’s honor. He just had to know who she really was first. 

Pulling the black fabric down a moment later, Dazai’s gun wasted no time, slamming the barrel into her chest as the girl fell off balance and back onto the floor with a breathy gasp. Now to see who this witch really was. 

Yet the moment he adjusted his eyes, Dazai found the very same deep crimson hair he knew for years, pouring down around the sides of the hooded jacket as he stared down at her deep blue cavendish eyes that he had looked into so many times before. 

Oh my god, she was a spitting image of his old friend, Odasaku. 

But how could that be? 

He watched her groan at the sudden force, her eyes squinting behind a pair of large round glasses that took up the majority of her face before opening them again and looking at the gun pointed at her chest. 

And though she was so close to death, the girl didn’t dare move, her eyes locking back to the boy’s before Dazai felt his voice break with utter shock.

In that moment, for a split second, the boy didn’t feel like a mafia executive but rather just a confused fifteen year old boy, his voice incredibly small.  “It can't be..Odasaku had a little sister..?”

Because if this was true, why didn’t Odasaku mention her, why didn’t he tell him about her? He thought they were friends. But was that wrong? What else did he hold back from the boy? 

Yet the moment Oda’s name slipped from his lips, the girl's eyes widened before lifting her hands up to his black jacket in order to utterly ignore the gun that was pressed to her chest. “Wait, you know my brother? Where is he? Please tell me..” 

She sounded desperate, the action causing Dazai’s finger to float above the trigger before those horrible memories of his best friend's death flashed through him once more. If she really was his sister, then he knew she’d never find him. 

Because of that, the boy told the truth, his voice dull and cruel. “He’s dead.” 

And then he waited, he waited for the girl to cry, to scream, to plead with him for something that was already determined and carried out. That’s what the normal response would be, that’s what everyone else did when someone died. 

Well, not Dazai but literally everyone else. 

Instead, the girl who claimed to be Odasaku’s sister only stayed silent, fingers not moving from his jacket in order for her to close her eyes with something that Dazai read as disappointment before she muttered sadly. “Oh, I see. I hoped that wasn’t the case.” 

Pausing for a moment, Asagao then added softly. “How did he go?” 

Flashes of that day began to play in his head once more before the boy decided to give her the truth, knowing it wouldn’t matter either way. “He was murdered. I saw it myself.” 

Once again, the large rimmed glasses girl only remained silent, like she was thinking something to herself before Asagao replied back sadly. “That must have been very hard on you. I’m sorry..” 

And for a moment, Dazai paused. Why was she saying that? Wasn’t she Odasaku’s sister? Surely she sould’ve been the one more broken up about this information. It was like she didn’t even care. 

No, that wasn’t right. It was more complex than that. She looked sad enough, but it seemed like she couldn’t make some kind of connection in her brain. In fact, the strange girl showed more emotion towards a total stranger than herself. How strange. 

Because of that, the boy turned his head in curiosity. “Why do you say that?” 

Asagao only smiled though, the tips of her mouth not quite reaching her eyes as she glanced over to the two glasses of whiskey next to them. “Because if I know one thing, it’s that anyone that pours a drink for the dead truly valued their life.”

Sighing to herself, the girl then looked back to the gun that was holding her hostage before nodding. “Either way, thank you for telling me, and for being there with him in his last moments. I’m grateful to you for that. At least now I know he was truly loved by someone.”  

Grateful? Now that was a new one. Usually his enemies weren’t grateful for the torture they received. And Dazai would be lying if he said he wasn't fascinated by the different and strange response. 

So much so, a sadistic smile spread across his face without meaning to. “Should you really be thanking me when I have a gun pressed to your chest?” 

The girl then paused before glancing back down towards the gun in order to lift her fingers up and press the barrel further into her chest with a sad smile that Dazai couldn’t decipher. 

And when she spoke, it brimmed with so much honest passion. “Now that I found out how much you treasured my brother, I wouldn’t mind dying if it’s you that pulls the trigger. Then maybe I could finally feel close to him..” 

Pausing slightly at her honest declaration, the boy processed her words with interest and confusion. No one had ever said that to him before. No one had wanted him to be their executioner before. How strange

And it was no secret that Dazai didn’t think much about life, calling it meaningless and pointless. Hell, he had tried to die hundreds of times in order to finally painlessly drift away from such mediocrity. 

But staring at the girl that somehow wore his best friend's face, he couldn’t help but be intrigued by her. She didn’t seem scared of death like others. Her face wore a sense of peace and calm he had never seen before from a victim of his. 

 No, that’s not right. She was scared of death, of course she was, but somehow this stranger found comfort in him pulling the trigger. And for a moment he wanted to ask why, to figure out the methods and inner workings of the girl who claimed to be Odasaku’s sister. 

Yet the moment his fingers graced the trigger once more, the door next to them seemingly slammed open in order for another voice to enter the space.

And this time, they sounded stressed. “What do you think you’re doing?!” 

Then all at once, both Dazai and Asagao turned in unison only to find a very familiar frazzled man staring back at them, the girl speaking first. “A-Ango?” 

Ango only narrowed his eyes though, the man gazing at the very strange and suggestive position the two were in before shaking his head in disbelief. Dazai was practically straddling the poor girl right now with his thighs and without context things did look slightly odd. 

If the gun wasn’t there the man surely would’ve thought something else was going on. 

Dazai didn’t seem to care about that though, his head turning in confusion at the strange girl. Wait, she just said his old friend's name. That meant.. “You know him?” 

Asa didn’t have time to reply though, Ango quickly pointed to the red haired female before speaking with exasperation. “You..what are you doing here?” 

The man then gave Dazai a look, causing the boy to sigh and finally let his captive go in order to put the gun back in his hollister. Ango didn’t seem on edge by her which meant that she wasn’t a threat, currently..

Feeling her lips curve up into a goofy smile, Asa then simply leaped from the floor in order to race towards Ango with her arms open wide as she beamed. “Ango! What a surprise, I guess this our first time meeting. How awkward, am I right? Ha ha ha. Small world. That’s crazy, really.” 

The man only sighed though, already expecting her moves before placing a hand on her face and pushing her back lightly in order to stop the assault. “I knew you’d come here. Good thing I had the government track your movements just in case. Looks like I got here just in time.” 

Frowning at the rejection, Asa then pouted her lips before rubbing the spot where his hand was just moments prior. “Well that’s a little invasive..”

Ango didn’t feel as carefree though, the man immediately putting a hand to his temple in the sign of a headache. “Obviously it was needed. Did you not listen to your brother’s instructions? He said for you to stay out of Yokohama, to not go looking for him. Or did you forget that?” 

Dazai then watched the girl pause before dropping her hand in order to awkwardly laugh in a fake cutesy manner. “I may have chosen to admit that part from my memory. Oops?”

Shrugging her shoulders in reply, Ango only shook his head, obviously over her antics. “Oops? That’s all you have to say? Seriously Asagao, what would Oda say..?”

Yet at the sound of Oda’s name, Dazai felt his head perk up. Even Ango was mentioning Oda and her together. That could only mean one thing. The things she was claiming were true, weren’t they? 

Not wanting to believe it, the boy called out. “Ango, was she telling the truth? Is she really..”

Although before he could finish, Ango simply put a hand up, not wanting to deal with such a revelation for some reason. “Dazai, please..” 

The way he was shutting him down was strange, almost like the man didn’t want Dazai to put together the facts that Odasaku had a little sister and that she was standing before them. But why? Why was Ango, a traitor, allowed to know and not him? 

Something was off about all of this. 

Just then, his thoughts got interrupted as Asa gasped loudly, her eyes turning towards the boy in excited disbelief. “Wait, Dazai? As in Osamu Dazai? No way, for real?!” 

And before he could process it, the girl was up in his face, her blue eyes piercing his through her circular frames in order to look at him like some sort of rare museum artwork she had just found. 

Speaking happily, the girl beamed. “Oh wow. I can’t believe it, brother wrote about you in his letters. I feel like I already know you…” 

She then reached her fingers out to touch him, causing the boy to counter only for Ango to do so for him, his voice firm. “Asagao!” 

Then Odasaku’s sister’s face lit up with some kind of realization before taking a step back with a sort of bashful smile. “Ah, right. Personal space. Sorry, my bad. I got excited. I just wanted to take a good look at you. I guess most people would think that’s rude though. My bad. You probably think I’m some sort of freak now. Ah, well that’s nothing new really. 

Putting her hands up in defense, Asa then backtracked. Well she tried, but Dazai could still see the giddy glee in her face, almost like she was trying to suppress it. “I'm just really happy to meet you, that’s all. I just know we can be good friends. Oh! I know, what if..” 

Ango only stopped her again though, almost like he was afraid of what she was going to say next. “Asagao…” 

Turning her head, the girl hummed in confusion, obviously not seeing anything wrong. “Hmm?” 

The government official only frowned though, his hands moving up to hover over her mouth with an exhausted sigh. “Stop talking.” 

Asa didn’t seem offended though, her brow turning down in understanding before nodding with an apologetic smile. “Right, sorry. Overdoing it. Got it.” 

Shaking his head in exasperation, the government official then turned away from her before pointing to the very curious mafioso that was watching. “Dazai, I need to see you outside. And you..” 

Asa pointed to herself at that, turning her head innocently. “Me?”

Nodding once, the man continued roughly. “Yes you. You better not move a muscle cause when I come back I’m sending you right back home.” 

Dazai then watched her lips open with pure shock in order for her voice to come out in a whine of protest. “Whaaa? Come on Ango. That’s not fair. I just..”

Ango only cut her off though, his tone serious. “It’s not up for debate. Your brother is gone and I promised him that you would never get involved in this. I’m not going against his wishes and neither will you. Now pack your bags and get ready. We leave tonight.” 

Then before she could protest, the man pushed Dazai out of the small apartment door, the boy looking back at the strange new girl only to watch her eyes flash to his in some sort of unexplainable longing before the door covered the sight. 

And call him crazy but it looked like she didn’t want him to go. 

How strange, he had never seen that kind of response from someone before. Usually they were glad to be rid of the demon, of the boy that had plagued their life. If anything, Asa should’ve been thankful that the guy that had threatened her just moments ago was leaving. 

But somehow she wasn’t, and that intrigued him a lethally dangerous amount. 

-------------

The cold crisp air hit him immediately, the feeling soaking into his bones and yet Dazai couldn’t focus on anything but the closed door just inches from his face. So much so, his fucked up mind started to run in all different directions without permission. 

And he’d be lying to say he wasn’t desperate to know what was going on behind Odasaku’s sister's eyes. He wanted to pick at her brain, to pry it open and see for himself the strange puzzle he had just discovered. 

He had a lot of toys but she was something different. It made him want to play around with her more often, to see what other interesting and amusing expressions she could make besides the ones tonight. 

Feeling his gaze focus more sadistically in thought, the boy suddenly took out his thoughts by his ex friend’s voice, a sense of warning in his tone. “Dazai, don’t even think about it.” 

The mafioso then closed his eyes before finally letting go of the thought in order to turn towards Ango innocently. “Whatever do you mean?” 

He only glared though, already knowing the naive tone was an act. “Don’t start. I know you better than anyone. You’re thinking about going back in there and manipulating Oda’s sister for something, aren’t you?” 

He wasn’t wrong. The boy had wanted something from her, but it was only to figure out more about her. Did that include messing around and being a little underhanded? Well, how else would he do it? That was his signature. 

Yet at the sound of Oda’s name, Dazai paused. No, he could decide all that later. Right now he needed answers. “Ango, what’s going on? Odasaku never said anything about having a little sister. How do you know her? Why didn’t he tell me?”

The information felt like a sting, coursing up the boy’s entire throat. He thought Odasaku and him were best friends. He thought they were close, that they knew everything about each other. But now it was obvious that he was keeping secrets this entire time. 

But why, what was the reason? 

Ango only sighed though, his fingers moving to his glasses in order to push them up. “It’s a long story, Dazai. I’ve actually never met her before. Oda simply put me on the phone once when he was drunk. None of that matters though. You need to forget you’ve ever seen her. No one is supposed to know she exists . She wasn’t ever even supposed to be in Yokohama.” 

Pausing, the boy frowned. “Why?” 

His old friend then shook his head in order to speak sadly. “Because Oda knew about the kind of people in his life, he knew what they could do to her. That's why he sent her away, so she could be safe. And regardless of what happened between us I still will fulfill his wish. He was my best friend.” 

At the sound of his explanation, Dazai couldn’t help but scoff. Best friend? Yeah right, he didn’t have the right to say such a thing anymore. Not after what happened. “Says the man that betrayed us and the port mafia.” 

He then watched Ango flitch in order to dip his head in shame. Dazai still hadn’t forgiven him for the betrayal after all. This government official snuck into the port mafia as a spy and he was just supposed to trust everything he said? 

No, those bonds were already broken. 

Ango then paused before finally speaking again, his fingers balling into a tight fist of emotion. “I don’t expect you to forgive me, Dazai. But those nights at Bar Lupin meant something to me. You both meant something to me. That’s why I’m here in the first place. She needs to stay out of this.” 

Although that’s when his eyes flicked up in order to lock eyes with the young executive. “And that means she also needs to stay away from you.” 

He looked so serious, so odd that Dazai couldn’t help twist his lips into a cruel tight lipped smile. The way Ango was glaring at him, it looked like he was viewing the boy as evil incarnate. 

And though he wasn’t wrong, the boy remained silent. What a scary expression. 

Noticing his silence, Ango continued. “You asked why Oda never mentioned her to you. It’s because destruction and corruption follows you everywhere, Dazai. He knew how black your soul is and what you could do to her if given the chance. The demon prodigy has no place out of the darkness, and I'm sure you know that also.”

Dazai then felt his lips fall open with understanding, a low pain in his chest as he was hit with the reality. Was that really why Odasaku never mentioned his sister, because he was scared of his best friend destroying her? 

Ango mentioned him sending her away in order to be out of reach of the dangerous people. Did that include him also? Was Odasaku scared of the boy, of his twisted personality that much? Dazai didn’t know, and that scared him. 

But then again, it made sense. 

He was a demon, that fact was very well known. 

Perhaps Odasaku was right. If he did get his hands on Asagao then she would surely become tainted and destroyed like everyone else in his life. He was a poison, and his best friend was just trying to keep his little sister from ingesting it. 

Feeling a hand on his shoulder, the boy then looked up from his unraveling thoughts in order to find Ango’s serious and unwavering stare. “ So I’m telling this now, Dazai. Walk away. Don’t get involved.” 

Then the man simply let his hand fall before putting his hand on the doorknob with a sad mutter under his breath. “Let the last piece of Odasaku be untainted, for you and me both.” 

Just like that, Ango was gone, leaving Dazai alone in the darkness as it swallowed him whole once more, the familiar black covering his entire silhouette. 

And for once, Osamu Dazai didn’t argue with his ex-friends command. 

Almost like he knew that he was right, that Odasaku’s sister shouldn’t ever go near him.  

----------

Ango felt the bright lights hit his eyes as he made his way into the small apartment in order to squint and walk around the living room with a heavy weighted sigh of exhaustion. This night was far too stressful. Ah well, at least it is over now. 

Yet the moment he entered the space, the man was only met with silence, causing his ears to ring with fear. “Asagao?” 

Frowning, Ango then moved over to the small table in the corner only to find a tiny yellow sticky note on the surface as the black colored ink mocked him all at once.  

Ango,  If you wanna bring me back then you gotta catch me first >:D

Crumbling the paper between his fingers, the man then looked up only to find that the fifth story window was open, the sharp breeze stunning him into silence. No, it couldn’t be. 

She was gone. 

“Asagao!” 

-----

Part 2:

Part 3:

(Just an intro to the three part short story I have.)

[lumineary-arts]

Saw you ask about ppls AUs uh

Most of mine, admittingly, don't have designs yet. At least not drawn ones. Oops!!

But I can like?? Still ramble ig?

I also have a swap AU! I haven't posted a lot ab it, but it's called Solver Shift.

In it I put Sam in Cyns place. So the DDs have pink accents (wasn't comfortable using Doll and making them red, despite barely drawing DD armbands anyways - personally at least)

Some places I'm still unsure about, like idk whether Khan and Nori should be direct swaps with Ron & Tessa or should be put in Tessas parents position. If I go the latter idk who to put in Tessas place lol.

Ron and Tessa weren't actually ever romantically involved. They were just best friends, and were like "well we live together, we both kinda wanna know what having kids is like. So let's raise one together"; insert Nuke (N) being built. Tess survived a few years into his life, they built Cyn and then yada yada you know the story - dead mom

If it wasn't obvious by Ns name, the rail gun gets replaced by explosives. Thank Cyn for that, it was her idea. (They both take canonverse Uzi her engineering skills, but Cyn takes the more unhinged aspect of the personality.) - Nuke was like "we gotta do something about the DDs but idk what!" And Cyn, sparkly eyed and all, was like "Let's blow them up!"

I need to figure out some episode stand ins seeing as Cyn is younger but still sticks to N like glue. Beau takes Dolls place, they'd be Similar in age to Cyn (aka I gotta give them a body design F)

Oh also, as for befriending the DDs -- whilst Ep1 would run similar to canon; after that Thad/T would bond faster with the siblings than Uzi/Z bc they keep their canonverse personalities mostly!! So that's a reverse. Also T wouldnt want to kill the Prom unlike V, he just genuinely wants to make friends 😭

Don't ask me why Beau is at the prom, being younger and all. Might just make it an all years general prom rather than just the graduating class.

Next AU yay

Blood & Bats is a Vampire/Human AU! DDS and Solver Drones are vampires, you get the gyst!

N & Cyn are bio siblings, got separated bc of a divorce. Eventually both were separately taken away for shitty parenting, one of which caused Cyn to get vampirism one way or another. She also has DID/OSDD1 in this AU, the Solver conciousness isn't an evil entity here, just s Persecutor under the definition of "Misguided Protector who hurts as a form of protection" -- they're basically just a terrified vampire kid who thinks they're a danger and thinks isolation is the only way to keep their lived ones safe.

At some point the Elliots adopt N, later Cyn too. They also have previously adopted V and J. As time goes on, the alphabet trio one by one get turned by Cyn/Solver but they catch her after that so Tessa never is turned.

Uzi is basically a half vampire. Her mom was one, her dad wasn't. I don't remember the details atm, but I assume I've posted them somewhere in the tag on my account, but iirc Khan killed Nori in a moment of shock and survival instinct when finding out. Uzi doesn't know this. She finds out later after being turned herself (on accident!) - either through N or Cyn. Might do N to draw a parallel to the miscommunication between ep 2 and 3. Bc yeah Uzi would assume it's on purpose and he broke a promise.

Once they fix things, she finds out about her dad killing her mom and she runs away from home, terrified he might kill her too -- she crashes at the siblings place OR Thads place. I'm not sure yet. Both have pros and cons.

Khan cant easily access the manor, needs to be at an event for it. But the parents would want Uzi OUT asap. On Thads end; Teacher (Thad and Lizzy are either step or half siblings idk yet) and Ron (uncle, moved in after his sister died to help with the kids!) Would not let Khan take Uzi home sending as they see her terrified. They don't know what happened. But Khan has easier access bc he's friends with Teacher and obviously Lizzy is there which Uzi isn't thrilled about.

That's as far as I can remember the storyline -- there would still be parallels to some episodes! Ep 4 would still happen! Just some would survive! Rebecca would be found by one of the alphabet trio and turned to save her life. She's wheelchair bound after that. Sam survives but everyone thinks he got too high and doesn't believe him when he talks rambling about Uzis vampire form (Becca keeps it secret bc like if she says something it by extension endangers the other vampires in the school which now includes herself)

Intertwined/Inteetwinjng Codes (Me when I keep going back and forth between both titles) is a next gen AU thing. It started off as a joke,,, oh well

Kids.

These little shits are twins, they started this whole rabbithole. They would boot up sometime after Ep 4.

Later on their parents would want to program another kid & adopt one. Invert Annika and Zagi, except unexpected thing happened and they now have two babies to upload. Insert Raven.

Annika is currently undergoing redesign, ignore how basic she looks compared to her siblings lol.

As for the last 2 kids -- they didn't WANT any more, but when being sent to another colony they run into this toddler with a baby, who are being attacked by other DDs so they step in. Whilst they argue with N, Uzi gets the kids to safety. They were gonna keep the kids at their place for that night but Olicia did NOT want to sleep in the same place as a DD & a ton of half DDs -- so Thad gets called at 3am 😭 hes the cool uncle to their kids so yk

Next day it turns out adoption wing is full, so the siblings get passed around Thad, Uzis dad and Nuzi a ton (their own colony got killed so they cant go back there) until Ray gets attached to Nuzi, and you shouldn't separate a baby from its bonded adults. Seeing as he already lost the code related parents, they didn't want to risk further hurting his programming. So the siblings were basically accidentally adopted by Nuzi, despite Olivia not being happy about it at first. But she didn't want to separate from Ray.

That's mostly that. Theres not too much lore tbh. Just a silly half joke AU.

Also I have 6 siblings IRL so I tend to like give my ship kids many siblings 😭 so ignore that fact lol, just projecting

Then theres like 3 more Cyn centric AUs.

2 are pretty small.

DD!Cyn AU that has no name yet is just the AS uploaded a copy of Cyn/the Base Drones conciousness into a DD body and kept her with the trio. That'll lead to major Identity crisis once Cyn realizes technically she's a clone and her memories aren't *hers*. Aside from that: Cyn and J constantly have beef bc of J abusing N, Cyn tries to get her to stop but just faces verbal abuse herself in return :(

Shes also pretty distrusting of Uzi at first bc like!! Nobody except Cyn ever spent time with N!! That's a Drone getting close to her big brother which possibly could hurt him in the long run if she turns out to be like the other teammates!! (She eventually warms up to her)

Then there is Trapped/Hivemind AU. Literally just Cyn trapped in the hivemind, unable to reach her body for control. She can HEAR the other Solver Drones and the DDs, as they're all part of the hivemind. But she can't communicate with them. No matter how hard she tries.

Especially when she hears N she will call out to him but not get a response

So shes probably on the brink of losing it

Then there is "Dormant" Absolute Solver

Originally it was gonna be "The AS lost interest in Cyn as a host" and ig it still kind of is correct-? I need to go back and forth between certain aspects lol

But long story short, Cyn now got a separate body from the AS, doesn't know it killed Tessa & comes to C9 with J & "Tessa". The AS just brought her as a tool to manipulate N with, but she doesn't know that. Cyn joins the group from ep 6 onwards. Yay more PTSD for the child I guess :)

I havent written out ep 6 yet but I think she'd be with N & "Tessa" for that part.

Ep 7 she ends up on the side of the rocks with Uzi, and walks at a distance after being told to basically F off bc Uzi doesn't trust her now but Cyn is scared to be alone. Uzi notices Cyn isn't okay tho.

(Varian tangled reference yay)

Might I add that seeing Uzis wings and tail in ep 6 would have majorly triggered Cyns PTSD but shes unaware of why she feels so scared. So seeing Uzis tail the whole time definitely adds onto the stress =)

During the fight Uzi would reach out to Cyn through the hivemind, both girls calling out to N through Cyns body. The AS doesn't like that and forcefully shuts Cyn down. It has admin rights over her after all.

By the time Cyn wakes up, the AS is grabbing her to blackmail N after just having eaten Doll. Talking about how he wouldnt want to hurt his baby sister (hes aiming his laser cannon at the AS for context). Then it gets bored, drops Cyn and the regular program ensures. Except Cyn took Tessas gun and shoots herself free from the tentacles and runs to the pit after seeing Nuzi be pulled in. Whilst shes there trying to figure out how to get them back up (seeing as she cant use her Solver on them, or at least not Uzi. The show us so unclear if it works on DDs or not) the scene goes on.

I'm not sure yet who Cyn will stick with, probably N bc I've more ideas. BUT also I'm waiting for episode 8 to decide that for sure. Same with the ending. I got multiple bad ending ideas and also a good ending :) ep 8 will determine which one will be canon :)

Oh yeah Cyn lol -- both new and old ref bc of the oil canister I didn't draw in the new one yet. She still has it as you can see by the oil tubes!

Also the Good!Ending DAS!N would run a Daycare post canon. IC!N also runs one. I just like having N work with kids.

Most of these (I think all except DD & Trappsd Cyn) are tagged on my account probably with some more info

Idk if the tags will show up tho bc they don't always for me when searching for them :(

My pinned post has the tags listed I think

I think that was all of them hm (istg if I forgot one 💀)

OKAY THIS ONE'S SUPER IN DEPTH I'M HEAVILY INTRIGUED. MULTIPLE AU'S DUDE!! I LOVE IT, KEEP EM COMING. Loving the ideas behind the swap AU. Putting Sam in Cyn's place is unique, I hadn't heard anyone do that before!! Also the thing about using pink is fair, I did use red but I didn't keep that in mind! A vampire AU's extremely fitting for Murder Drones, being a substitute for the Solver/Disassembly model. Since ep. 4 is my favorite, I love the fact it'd still play out here. Also I must say I REALLY like the next gen AU designs??? I actually kinda wish we saw more next gen stuff, or maybe I'm just not looking in the right places. Either way I very specifically love Rexim and Raven's designs, I think the color choices are really speaking to me. ALSO ALL THE CYN FANS ARE GONNA BE EATING UP THE CYN-CENTRIC AU'S. But it seems like the poor girl could never catch a break. WONDERFUL WORK ALL AROUND!!

[chmpgneprblem]

SNOWFALL OF HEARTS ; CORIOLANUS SNOW

pairing: coriolanus snow x tribute!oc part: four summar: coriolanus is torn between his harsh pursuit of victory and the growing warmth in his heart for erykah, his tribute from district nine warnings: ooc coriolanus, slight angst that turns into fluff a/n: i've been so busy with school, so so sorry for not updating sooner!! previous parts: one, two, three word count: 1.8k join taglist!!

Debris flew around in the air as Erykah fell to the ground. Bombs continued to go off. Bright orange and yellow filled the air as one after another went off, getting closer and closer to her. She could barely see due to the dust. She felt around the ground, trying to bring herself to her feet. But the continuous bombs restrained her.

She panicked as she felt a hand on her back. She turned her head to see a distressed Coriolanus. He took her hand attempting to bring them to their feet.

They both finally got to their knees, a dark gray cloud of smoke blew past them making Erykah cough. She stood up, directing her attention to the roof of the arena. She gripped Coriolanus’ hand attempting to pull him out of the way. He didn’t seem to notice the gesture, too engrossed in the bombs.

One now went off by the middle of the ceiling, causing it to collapse in the middle. Erykah finally snapped him out of his daze, running with him out of the way of the wreckage. He didn’t run fast enough, a burning pillar fell across his back.

Erykah didn’t notice his absence, only stopping her running when she heard his faint voice yell out for her. She ran over to him and saw him writhing, attempting to free his body.

Gunshots and explosions rang out around the arena. Two peacekeepers were attempting to catch one of the other male tributes. More time to help Coriolanus. She groaned as she lifted the pillar off of his burning body, using all of her strength to free him. Her hands received cuts as she pulled harder. He rolled over, his body finally free.

“Thank you.” Coriolanus told her breathlessly, reaching out for her.

Erykah tried to respond, but a peacekeeper came up from behind her, pulling her body away from his. She thrashed around in his arms, eyes never leaving Coriolanus’.

And then he was gone in the dusty haze.

Coriolanus woke up in the hospital dazed. He blinked slowly, trying to wake himself. “Coryo,” His cousin, Tigris, whispered to him with a bittersweet smile. He was glad she was there, he needed company. “Erykah, is she okay? Is she safe?” He asked in a panicked, hoarse voice. 

“She’s okay, she’s alive Coryo.” Tigris reassured him, gripping his hand in hers. “And the rest of them?” He asked slightly worried about their well beings, but also hoping Erykah didn’t have much competition left. “Four tributes were killed, everyone’s terrified.” Tigris informed him in a hushed voice.

“Marcus got out. He’s the only one.” Sejanus, who Coriolanus hadn’t noticed was there, cut in. “Peacekeepers are hunting him in the streets… but at least he has a better chance out there than he would tomorrow.” He told Coriolanus somberly.

That couldn’t be right… “Tomorrow? They’re not still going on with the games are they?” He asked, distressed at the idea of Erykah in the arena. He remembered the last thing she said to him. “I don’t know if I’m going to make it”

“Erykah… she could’ve run. But she saved me.” He could never repay her for what she had done for him. No, he would. He would get her out of that arena and back to her family, back to her little sister, back to district nine.

The sound of cheers coming from the TV snapped him out of his anxious thoughts. Coriolanus heard the voice of Lucky Flickerman as he struggled to get out of the hospital bed, groaning slightly as he brought himself to his feet.

“Erykah Thorpe! Get out here you songbird!” Lucky yelled cheerfully and waved for her to get up on stage.

She held a light brown guitar in her hands, as her eyes scanned the crowd. “I wrote this song about a boy back in district nine, and I hope he hears it.”

3 a.m. and I'm still awake, I'll bet you're just fine. Fast asleep in your city that's better than mine…

She was an amazing singer. The song she sang accentuated her slight accent. Coriolanus’ eyes darted to the corner of the TV screen, she had already gotten fifty donations. Already doing better than some of the other tributes.

And the girl in your bed has a fine pedigree. And I'll bet your friends tell you she's better than me.

She gave an annoyed scoff and smirked at the camera while she continued to play. What had this guy done to her? Maybe it was nosy, but Coriolanus needed to know who he was. He wished he was able to talk some sense into whoever he may be, make him realize what he had lost.

Well, I tried to fit in with your upper-crust circles. Yeah, they let me sit in, back when we were in love.

This had confirmed his belief that Erykah was glaring at the mayor’s son during the reaping. He assumed that the song was about him as well. Coriolanus was brought back to the day of the reaping. Her giving the boy a sarcastic bow with a smirk on her face. Whatever he had done, the look of disgust Erykah had given him showed that he had wronged her.

But now that we're done and it's over. I bet you couldn't believe it when you realized I'm harder to forget than I was to leave. And I bet you think about me.

Despite the angry expression she wore on her face, her voice stayed steady. But Coriolanus could tell that she was trying her hardest to keep her composure. Her voice growled slightly, her grip on the guitar got tighter. 

I don't have to be your shrink to know that you'll never be happy. And I bet you think about me.

She finished the song, tilting her head with a sneer and looking directly into the camera. Cheers echoed in the background as Erykah stared at the camera, jaw clenched.

“Look at that! Record high for the evening. People in the Capitol are definitely watching, I sure hope that boy is too!” Lucky announced happily. As he spoke Erykah scanned the crowd with a smile.

Coriolanus felt guilty for not being there to watch her, though he wasn’t positive any of the other mentors showed up. He would see her before she went to the arena, he planned on it.

For the first time since she’d arrived at the Capitol, Erykah slept peacefully. She was awoken from that by the voice of someone familiar, Coriolanus. She rubbed her eyes as she heard his whispers, “Erykah. Erykah.”

She brought herself to her feet to run over to the gate. “Thank god, you’re alive.” Erykah whispered more to herself than to him. She observed him. His eyes were drowsy and dark, he had bandages across his entire chest, and despite his condition, he still came to see her.

Coriolanus took her hand through the bars before continuing to talk. “Those bombs, they’ve changed everything. There's a hole in the floors, it leads down to some tunnels. You can hide down there.” Erykah nodded, taking every word he said. 

“When the bell rings, ignore all the weapons in the middle, and you run as fast as you can for the tunnels.” He stressed to her, gripping her hand slightly to get the point across. “Find a place to hide and stay down there until it's safe to come out.”

“Thank you… for you taking care of me.” Erykah said to him teary-eyed. Something seemed to register in Coriolanus’ head as he heard her words. 

“I’m not done taking care of you. I can’t let you die. You saved me, Erykah.” He talked to her as if there were hearts in his eyes. 

Erykah teared up at his words, she wasn’t ready to die either, but she knew many of the other tributes were far stronger than her. She was weak, she couldn’t hunt them like they would her. She didn’t stand a chance against them. But the idea of Coriolanus protecting her, even if it was from outside the arena, gave her a bit of hope.

Tears fell down her cheeks. “I’m sorry. During the nights here I just… the thoughts of what’s happening back at home… it just-” Her words were barely audible as she talked in a quavering voice.

“It’s okay, Erykah.” Coriolanus whispered reassurances to her while he wiped her tears with a handkerchief. She looked up at him with sad eyes. 

“I’m going to get you out of there. I promise. Out of there and back home.” He spoke breathlessly as he reassured not only Erykah but himself as well.

Erykah couldn’t help but think to herself, I don’t want to go back to my normal life. Despite the terror of staying in the Capitol’s zoo, every day was brightened by being able to see Coriolanus. Going back to district nine would mean she wouldn’t see him anymore.

“What if I don’t want to, Corio? What if I said I don’t mind pushing through every day if it means being able to see you?” Erykah’s lip quivered as she confessed to him. Her gaze lowered to her feet, afraid of seeing the horrified look on Coriolanus’ face. But when she felt his shaky hand take hers, she looked up to see him teary-eyed.

“Erykah I don’t want to lose you.” He confessed sadly, before bringing his head to the gates to rest his forehead against hers. She followed after him looking into his eyes with a sad smile.

Coriolanus was so absorbed in the moment he had almost forgotten about what he brought her. “I have something I need to give you.” He said, sadly breaking the contact between the two. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a beautiful silver compact with a rose engraved in the center. 

“Corio thank you but… what’s this for?” She was grateful but couldn’t help but wonder what the motive behind it was. “What’s in there, don’t touch it. Don't even breathe it in because it’s deadly.” Coriolanus told her, surely. Erykah nodded, immediately understanding him.

“We’re going to win this together.” He said before giving her one last thing, an old ring which looked like a family heirloom. “If you ever lose hope, just remember me. I’ll be waiting for you till the end, Erykah.” He squeezed her hand that held the ring.

“Thank you Corio, for everything you’ve done for me. I don’t know how I could repay you.”

“Your survival is enough of an reward.”

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[trancylovecraft]

HELLLO !!

i saw you did yan! paswg stuff on your blog (unless you don’t anymore idrk)

i saw wondering if you could do a drabble/headcannons on brief?

(make sure to take breaks!! and not to overwork yourself :D)

(PASWG) YANDERE! BRIEF ROCK x READER: Need (Drabble)

RECEIPT ✂- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

BARISTA'S NOTE: dw i still do paswg! and thank u so much!! hope u enjoy! FANDOM: Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt

Thank you for ordering!

Come again soon!

"D-Do you need another drink? I can go get one for you!"

"No, I'm fine, Thanks."

"What about napkins..? I'll go get some!"

[F/N] didn't really know how it happened, Not really remembering a specific beginning point for when Brief came into her life. She knew it was in a bang, Quick and sudden, But that was about it.

Ever since that unspecified point in time, He had followed her around like an unclaimed puppy. Always trailing behind her, Lurking around either by her side or around corners.

She could tell where he was by the red of his hair, Unmistakable from within a crowd. [F/N] knew that he followed her around, Knew that he swam after her like a duckling to a mother swan.

It irked her at points too, Especially when he kept asking over and over if she needed something. Did she need more food? Did she want to borrow his jacket? She honestly just needed him to go away.

But [F/N] didn't have the heart to tell him that.

[F/N] watched him scamper away from the cafeteria table she sat at, Her friends chatter like crows cawing together on a wire as they all watched him go. Something demeaning, Something they didn't even hide when he was around.

He never seemed to care though, Always keeping a stable face. And she never had the guts to tell them to stop.

Its not like she could anyways, The amount of friends she had seemed to be dwindling by the day and [F/N] just couldn't afford to let anymore go, Not unless she wanted to be alone that is.

One calling off sick, Another switching schools and ghosting [F/N] on her socials. It was strange, But she supposed all good friend groups must come to and end, That's how it usually worked for her anyways..

Brief pranced back over to the table, A generous amount of paper napkins placed down onto the side of her food tray. A lovestruck smile on his face that [F/N] just didn't seem to catch.

The first time he had taken one of her friends out had been a complete act of mania, Something he had done out of uncontrollable anger.

It was unlike him! Truly! Even after he had bludgeoned her skull in and kicked her body about, He had been terrified of himself and what he had done.

But just like bathing in hot water, It got easier overtime.

The second was planned, Well at least Brief knew that he wanted to kill her. And after the mess he had forced to clean up through his own bubbling tears, He knew he had to be a bit more careful.

Some part of him knew it was wrong, Knew that what he was doing was horrible and irrational to do. But he shoved that part of him away, The end goal to enticing to let be.

[F/N]. She was perfect.

Her hair, Her eyes, Her skin, Her clothing. The way she rolled her eyes when she heard he friends say something stupid, The way she walked home from school saying hello to everyone she passed.

She was just so.. Amazing. How could he not follow her around?

She was an angel incarnate, Not like the Anarchy Sisters, But a real, Proper Angel.

So Brief let it go, Let it all be shoved aside in favour of his own desires. He didn't mind the blood and the guts, The bruises and the bodies.

Not if it meant he got her in the end.

[winchesterwild78]

Broken pt 3

Master List

Characters: Jensen x Reader (wife)

Warnings: a little angst, funeral, fluff

A/N:  Idea given to me by @cheekygirl2309. This one is a little different than what I usually write. It has angst, lots of angst to start, and infertility issues. It's going to be a short series.

Minors DNI 18+

The next few days were a blur. Jensen took a leave of absence from work to be by my side as I navigated my loss. 

He did his best to keep me from slipping into a deep depression. 

I laid on our bed, exhausted but couldn’t sleep. My heart was broken. The last few weeks have really felt like a test to my soul and I wasn’t sure how much more I could take. 

“Sweetheart, I made you some breakfast.” I rolled over and looked at him. He was smiling but I could see the pain in his eyes. 

“I’m not very hungry.” I started to turn away and he let out a frustrated sigh. 

“Y/N, baby you have to eat. You need your strength. Come on, just a few bites.” 

“I said NO! I’m not hungry.” 

Jensen’s eyes went wide and he took a step back. He set the tray down and turned to leave. 

“Jens, I’m sorry.” I sobbed. He crawled into the bed with me and pulled me close. I cried. My fingers gripped his shirt. 

“I just don’t know how to move on. Jens my daddy is gone. How do I get through this?” 

Jensen held me tight, hand rubbing the back of my head, “It’s okay baby. I’m not an expert but this isn’t something you get through, it’s something you just learn to live with by taking it one day at a time. I’ll be there for you and by your side every step of the way. I promise.” 

I held on to him tighter than I had. I was terrified I was going to lose him too. I wanted to be left alone, but I wanted him by my side. I’ve lost people in my life before, but this loss, the loss of my father was profound. 

It felt like a hole has been left in my soul and nothing will ever fill it up. 

“Baby, please eat. I’m worried about you. We have to leave tomorrow for the funeral and I need you to have your strength.”

I nodded. I knew I needed to eat. My mom and sister were going to need me to help and I would be no good to them in a hospital. I knew my dad wouldn’t want me to grieve my life away either. He’d want me to grieve and move on. I slowly sat up. 

Jensen sat up and grabbed the tray and handed it to me. 

I started with the toast, then ate some bacon, then the eggs. Before I knew it I had eaten the whole plate. Jensen smiled. “Don’t look so smug.” I softly chuckled. 

He threw his hands up in defeat, “I didn’t say a word. Thank you for eating, baby.” I nodded, he leaned over and kissed my lips. 

After I ate I felt a little better. Jensen took the plate in the kitchen and I got some clean clothes to take a shower. 

I walked in the bathroom and turned on the water. Turning and looking in the mirror I saw how drained I looked. 

I jumped in the shower and let the hot water run down and around my body. Like a warm hug it enveloped me. 

There was a knock at the door. A slight smile tugging at my lips. “Hey baby, do you need anything?” I heard Jensen’s voice through the sound of the water.

“No, I’m okay baby, unless you want to wash my back.” Jensen smirked. He didn’t want to take advantage of me, but he missed me too. 

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, baby. As much as I want to, I think I should let you shower alone. I’ll be waiting for you.”

I let out a shaky breath. I was so torn. I wanted to be with him, but I understood why he said no. It still didn’t make it hurt any less. 

I finished in the shower and grabbed the towel. As I stepped into the bedroom I saw Jensen down the hall. A sly smile spread on my lips. 

“Jensen, can you come here please.” “Yeah, babe. Just one second.” I heard Jensen walking down the hallway and waited for him to come into the room. 

“Yes baby…” He stopped in his tracks when he saw me. I looked at him, and dropped my towel. 

“Damn, sweetheart. You’re killing me.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “You’re making it hard to say no.” 

I stepped closer, “Then don’t.” I kissed his lips softly. His fingers delicately run up my body. 

“Are you sure about this baby? I don’t want you to feel like you have to do this.” 

I kissed his lips, cutting him off. “Yes, Jensen. I want this, I want you. I need you.” 

Jensen laid me back on the bed and hovered over my body. He looked down at me, eyes full of questions, and so much love and a little pain. He cared about my father too. We both hit the jackpot with in-laws, so it was like he lost a father too. 

“Are you sure, baby?” He asked one last time. I nodded, “Yes”. 

He captured my lips in a need filled kiss, his hands on my body and his lips trailing down my neck. 

Jensen was gentle with me. Every minute we were in the bed his focus was on me, satisfying me. When he finished we both felt lighter, and closer than we had in a few days. 

Jensen cleaned us both up and pulled me into his arms. I placed my head on his chest and rested my hand there too. “Thank you, Jens. That was incredible.” 

He kissed my head, “Yes it was, baby. It had been too long.” 

We laid in each other’s arms for a while before getting up and starting to pack. 

The pain of losing my father was still there, still very raw, but Jensen was my calm. I knew he would do what he could to help me work through this. I knew he’d be by my side the whole time. 

The next morning Jensen and I boarded the plane to head to my mother’s. Abby was meeting us at the airport and we were staying at her house. 

We were going to stay with mom, but her house was already full with other family members, and Abby offered us her guestroom. 

The flight home was uneventful. A few people recognized him, but I guess seeing me they figured now was not the time to talk to him. There was however a little girl who recognized him and came running up to him. Her mother called her name and tried to get her to stop. 

“Hi!” She squealed. Jensen smiled down at her as her mother came running up. “Mary, I told you to leave him alone. He doesn’t want to be bothered.” 

Jensen offered her a soft smile, “It’s alright, so, your name is Mary?” She nodded, her big blue eyes sparkled and her blond hair falling in her face. “Mommy named me after your mommy.” Jensen chuckled, “Is that right?” 

“I am so sorry, she saw you on the plane and it took everything I could to keep her in her seat.” 

“It’s okay, really. So Mary, tell me something. Have you watched the show with your mommy?” She shook her head no, “Mommy said I had to be bigger, but I saw you on TV and when I was a baby you held me.” 

Jensen looked confused and then at her mother, “I went to a convention when she was a baby. We took a photo together and you held her in the picture.” 

Jensen thought back, “Wait, this isn’t Mary, born on my birthday Mary?” Her mother smiled and shook her head yes. “Oh my goodness. I remember.” Jensen smiled at me and told me all about the convention and how she was crying right before the photo op, but when he took her she stopped. She was also born on his birthday. 

The mother looked at me and saw how sad I looked. She offered a soft smile, “Mary honey, come on. Let’s let Jensen and Mrs. Ackles get to their destination.” “But mommy…” The little girl protested. 

I looked at Jensen and then at the little girl. He was always so incredible with children. I bent down to her, “Hey Mary, how about I take a picture of you and Jensen?”

Her big eyes went wide and she smiled, “Yes please.” Jensen smiled at me and he scooped her up in his arms. Her little arms around his neck and the biggest smile on her face.

I snapped the picture and motioned for her mom to get in one too. “Are you sure?” She asked. “Absolutely. His fans mean everything to him.” 

She nodded and stood on one side of Jensen and Mary still had a grip on his neck. I took the picture, the mom thanked us again and Mary kept her grip on him. 

She wouldn’t let go of him and she kept telling him he had to come to her birthday party. “Jensen, I am so sorry. All she’s said she wanted for her birthday is to see you again. I was going to take her to a convention, but I just read you had to cancel the next convention.”

My heart sank, my father’s death was the reason he had to cancel. I looked at Jensen and saw the regret in his face, “I’m sorry. He doesn’t like to cancel convention appearances. He had to because my father just passed.” 

The mother took my hand, “Oh honey, I’m so sorry. I understand. Please know we are thinking about you.” I nodded. “Thank you, I appreciate it. Why don’t you tell me where the party is going to be and I’ll see what we can figure out.” 

The mother looked stunned, “Are you sure?” “Of course. I can’t make any promises, but we will try.” She gave me the information, we said our goodbyes and headed out. 

Jensen held my hand and squeezed, “Are you okay baby?” “Yeah, just thinking about how wonderful you are and how we need to figure out how to get you to that little girl’s birthday party.” 

The next few days were a whirlwind. Today was the day of my father’s funeral and I stood at the full-length mirror and stared at myself in the black dress Jensen bought for me. 

Jensen walked up behind me and snaked his arms around my waist, placing a kiss on the side of my head. “You look beautiful, baby. Are you ready?” 

I took a shaky breath in, “As I’m going to be. Will you stand up there with me today? I don’t know if I can deliver this without you by my side.” 

Jensen turned me to face him, “Sweetheart, I’ll be by your side every step of the way, today and forever. If you can’t get through it, then I’ll take over. You’ve got this baby.” He placed a soft kiss on my lips. 

Jensen held my hand as we walked into the funeral home and I walked towards the casket, where my father was lying. I stopped walking when I got about halfway. 

Jensen gave my hand a light squeeze, “We don’t have to go up there baby.” I looked at him and tears filled my eyes, “I have to, Jensen. I have to say goodbye.” He nodded and placed his hand on the small of my back. 

My steps felt heavier as I walked. Each step felt like I was walking with concrete boots. 

My breathing was shaky, as I made it to the coffin. I looked down at my father. The man who held my hand as I learned to walk, the man who helped patch me up when I fell off my bike, the man who taught me how to give a mean right hook. He looked so peaceful, like he was in a deep sleep. 

I touched his hand. The warmth from his touch is now long gone. “I love you daddy. I’ll be okay. I have Jensen, and he’s been great through all this. He actually got my stubborn ass to eat something. You were right, daddy. He’s a really good man, and he loves me so much. When you get to where you’re going, give grandma a hug for me, and if it’s not too much to ask can you maybe put in a good word for us. We want to give you a grandbaby. I love you so much, daddy. Good bye.”

I placed a kiss on his forehead as the tears began to fall. Jensen held me and kissed my head. “It’s okay baby. I’m here.” 

The funeral started and I was next up to speak. With my paper in hand I walked to the podium with Jensen by my side. He leaned over and kissed my head, “You’ve got this baby.” 

I took a deep breath and started to read from the paper. Recalling story after story of my father and his love for his family and friends. As I read through the paper my chest began to tighten. I could feel the panic rising in my chest and I couldn’t get through the rest of it. Tears fell fast and heavy. Jensen held me, grabbed the paper and started reading the rest of it. 

By the time he finished I could barely stand. Jensen helped me to my seat. The rest of the funeral was a blur. People came by my mother, my sister and I offering their condolences. Jensen stood by my side the whole time. 

His presence grounded me. 

“Y/N, I’ll see you and Jensen at the luncheon.” My sister said. I looked at her and then at Jensen, he knew I couldn’t do it. My breathing became faster and erratic.

“Hey Abby, I think Y/N and I are gonna head out for a few days.” She nodded. I looked over at Jensen confused, he squeezed my hand.

I hugged mom goodbye and told Abby we’d lock up after grabbing our stuff.

Getting in the car Jensen held my hand. “Jens, thank you for helping me. I don’t know how I would have gotten through that without you.”

“You don’t have to thank me. It’s my job to protect you and help you. Now, you and I are getting away from everything for a little bit. You need a quiet place to clear your head.”

“Where are you taking me?” “We’re flying to the cabin in Colorado. It’s quiet, and you will have me at your beck and call for as long as you need.” 

“Jensen, what about work?” “My leave is open ended. I can end it whenever I want. Right now I’m not leaving you in this alone.” 

Jensen placed a soft kiss on my lips, “Come on baby, let’s get going.”

A few hours later we were pulling up to the cabin. It was lightly snowing. It was beautiful, perfect, and peaceful.

Walking into the cabin, Jensen carried our bags to the bedroom and then brought in some firewood. He started a fire as I made some coffee. 

Sitting on the couch side by side we had a blanket draped over our legs. Watching the fire and sipping our coffee, the room was quiet and peaceful. 

Jensen looked over at me, “Are you okay baby?” I smiled softly, “Yeah, I am now. This is just what I needed. Thank you, Jens.” 

“Sweetheart, you’re going to get through this. The pain won’t be this bad forever. It won’t go away, it will just get a little easier every day. I promise baby.” 

I stood and straddled his lap. His hands rested on my hips as I kissed his lips. “Jens, I love you so much. Let’s go to bed.” 

He lifted me up and carried me to the bed. Laying me down he stepped back and looked at me, “God you’re so beautiful. I am the luckiest man alive.” 

I smiled and blushed, “I’m the lucky one, Jensen.” 

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