#(had started watching the '23 anime back in '23 but got distracted (rough year);

[loregoddess]

if you had told me, say five-ish years ago before I had encountered these two stories, that there was an anime called Cowboy Bebop and a manga called Trigun, and that one was a space western and the other was a space noir story, and then told me the one with "cowboy" in the name was not the space western, I would have thrown something small and harmless at you

[dfroza]

A point of awakening

is a heart that opens up to receive spiritual truth

from Today’s reading in the Scriptures:

[Wake Up from Your Sleep]

Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.

Don’t allow love to turn into lust, setting off a downhill slide into sexual promiscuity, filthy practices, or bullying greed. Though some tongues just love the taste of gossip, those who follow Jesus have better uses for language than that. Don’t talk dirty or silly. That kind of talk doesn’t fit our style. Thanksgiving is our dialect.

You can be sure that using people or religion or things just for what you can get out of them—the usual variations on idolatry—will get you nowhere, and certainly nowhere near the kingdom of Christ, the kingdom of God.

Don’t let yourselves get taken in by religious smooth talk. God gets furious with people who are full of religious sales talk but want nothing to do with him. Don’t even hang around people like that.

You groped your way through that murk once, but no longer. You’re out in the open now. The bright light of Christ makes your way plain. So no more stumbling around. Get on with it! The good, the right, the true—these are the actions appropriate for daylight hours. Figure out what will please Christ, and then do it.

Don’t waste your time on useless work, mere busywork, the barren pursuits of darkness. Expose these things for the sham they are. It’s a scandal when people waste their lives on things they must do in the darkness where no one will see. Rip the cover off those frauds and see how attractive they look in the light of Christ.

Wake up from your sleep,

Climb out of your coffins;

Christ will show you the light!

So watch your step. Use your head. Make the most of every chance you get. These are desperate times!

Don’t live carelessly, unthinkingly. Make sure you understand what the Master wants.

Don’t drink too much wine. That cheapens your life. Drink the Spirit of God, huge draughts of him. Sing hymns instead of drinking songs! Sing songs from your heart to Christ. Sing praises over everything, any excuse for a song to God the Father in the name of our Master, Jesus Christ.

[Relationships]

Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.

Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.

No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.

The Letter of Ephesians, Chapter 5 (The Message)

[When You’re Between a Rock and a Hard Place]

But now, God’s Message,

the God who made you in the first place, Jacob,

the One who got you started, Israel:

“Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you.

I’ve called your name. You’re mine.

When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you.

When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down.

When you’re between a rock and a hard place,

it won’t be a dead end—

Because I am God, your personal God,

The Holy of Israel, your Savior.

I paid a huge price for you:

all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in!

That’s how much you mean to me!

That’s how much I love you!

I’d sell off the whole world to get you back,

trade the creation just for you.

“So don’t be afraid: I’m with you.

I’ll round up all your scattered children,

pull them in from east and west.

I’ll send orders north and south:

‘Send them back.

Return my sons from distant lands,

my daughters from faraway places.

I want them back, every last one who bears my name,

every man, woman, and child

Whom I created for my glory,

yes, personally formed and made each one.’”

Get the blind and deaf out here and ready—

the blind (though there’s nothing wrong with their eyes)

and the deaf (though there’s nothing wrong with their ears).

Then get the other nations out here and ready.

Let’s see what they have to say about this,

how they account for what’s happened.

Let them present their expert witnesses

and make their case;

let them try to convince us what they say is true.

“But you are my witnesses.” God’s Decree.

“You’re my handpicked servant

So that you’ll come to know and trust me,

understand both that I am and who I am.

Previous to me there was no such thing as a god,

nor will there be after me.

I, yes I, am God.

I’m the only Savior there is.

I spoke, I saved, I told you what existed

long before these upstart gods appeared on the scene.

And you know it, you’re my witnesses,

you’re the evidence.” God’s Decree.

“Yes, I am God.

I’ve always been God

and I always will be God.

No one can take anything from me.

I make; who can unmake it?”

[You Didn’t Even Do the Minimum]

God, your Redeemer,

The Holy of Israel, says:

“Just for you, I will march on Babylon.

I’ll turn the tables on the Babylonians.

Instead of whooping it up,

they’ll be wailing.

I am God, your Holy One,

Creator of Israel, your King.”

This is what God says,

the God who builds a road right through the ocean,

who carves a path through pounding waves,

The God who summons horses and chariots and armies—

they lie down and then can’t get up;

they’re snuffed out like so many candles:

“Forget about what’s happened;

don’t keep going over old history.

Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new.

It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?

There it is! I’m making a road through the desert,

rivers in the badlands.

Wild animals will say ‘Thank you!’

—the coyotes and the buzzards—

Because I provided water in the desert,

rivers through the sun-baked earth,

Drinking water for the people I chose,

the people I made especially for myself,

a people custom-made to praise me.

“But you didn’t pay a bit of attention to me, Jacob.

You so quickly tired of me, Israel.

You wouldn’t even bring sheep for offerings in worship.

You couldn’t be bothered with sacrifices.

It wasn’t that I asked that much from you.

I didn’t expect expensive presents.

But you didn’t even do the minimum—

so stingy with me, so closefisted.

Yet you haven’t been stingy with your sins.

You’ve been plenty generous with them—and I’m fed up.

“But I, yes I, am the one

who takes care of your sins—that’s what I do.

I don’t keep a list of your sins.

“So, make your case against me. Let’s have this out.

Make your arguments. Prove you’re in the right.

Your original ancestor started the sinning,

and everyone since has joined in.

That’s why I had to disqualify the Temple leaders,

repudiate Jacob and discredit Israel.”

The Scroll of Isaiah, Chapter 43 (The Message)

with 43 being the alphabetic number of the word “book”

and indeed, in the Scriptures we see the pure creation of marriage intertwined amongst its lines from the starting point of Genesis all the way through the book of Revelation in the joining Together as “One” body of a wife with her husband, which makes sexual purity only possible with a man and woman according to the revelation of the Spirit of our beautiful Creator

to close with inspiration from the ancient book of Proverbs from chapter 4:

[Healing Words]

Listen carefully, my dear child, to everything that I teach you,

and pay attention to all that I have to say.

Fill your thoughts with my words

until they penetrate deep into your spirit.

Then, as you unwrap my words,

they will impart true life and radiant health

into the very core of your being.

So above all, guard the affections of your heart,

for they affect all that you are.

Pay attention to the welfare of your innermost being,

for from there flows the wellspring of life.

Avoid dishonest speech and pretentious words.

Be free from using perverse words no matter what!

[Watch Where You’re Going]

Set your gaze on the path before you.

With fixed purpose, looking straight ahead,

ignore life’s distractions.

Watch where you’re going!

Stick to the path of truth,

and the road will be safe and smooth before you.

Don’t allow yourself to be sidetracked for even a moment

or take the detour that leads to darkness.

The Book of Proverbs, Chapter 4:20-27 (The Passion Translation)

“Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that’s where life starts.”

The Book of Proverbs, Chapter 4:23 (The Message)

my reading from the Scriptures for the 4th of july, day 14 of Summer and day 185 of the year:

will your beautiful mysterious heart awaken to its True nature in Light and in Love?

[mceproductions]

November 2018 Blurbs

11/1/18 In Novembers Gusty Gale...The one baby song that sticks with me is that line from Chicken Soup with Rice... The fact that I know that and can sing falsetto really sets a tone. Rice Lake run today as Scholarships needed answering somehow the fact that i can only qualify for one and yet still can deal with classwork is a mystery. Eli in 2 Weeks and hoping Basketball at the Vikings Stadium at months end. Mom said shed go with on Saturday to St. Paul but in case not contingency is the Queen Movie. Stinks about Nutcracker being lousy Grinch remake for Christmas Movie it is. 11/2/18  Patti and the Bravada im trying to buy. Something tells me thats got to answer itself very soon. Ellen wasn't going to St. Paul either so contingency may now be in place. Work at least had benefits being sorted out. Also Lego Harry Potter man that game was fun, glad for the port, now they just need to port other lego games. 11/3/18 Bravada is now mine thanks to mom. More crucially Queen Movie was luckilly in town, at theater that is now only open weekends. Confusing yes, just hoping this isn't premant closing like Bruce. Movie was near perfect as Rami Malek Crushed It, a term I almost never use. Andrew fried microwave after 18 years. It was overdue but man it stinks that its gone. ReLife Anime...If episode 17 had me tearing up, the other 15 1/2 should be just as interesting. Unlike that other show A Sister Is All You Need, a premsise about slice of life, authors and drinking that wears dull quick. 11/4/18 So begins a short week, mainly due to assurance needed for initial plans. Just wish they could have called me in for one more day, i have assurance but still could have used it. Pete Davidson is really hurting based on this weeks SNL no matter his mindset and well wishes, he's hurting. Packers more so...and Ricks final Walking Dead, what a cop out...So glad I'm done with the show, no matter how interesting teenage Judith looks. One more detail, just when I thought 2018 had used up all its anime...Rapping Zombies on a Show that really should be used by the ZombieLand Sequel coming out next year, they can spit licks. 11/5/18 Remember Remember...An annual watching of V For Vendetta and its poigancy highlights today. Bravada is now officially mine just have to get it al registred and isured without it breaking my bank. Also never trust pictures for all purchases on Ebay, miffed on that count. Very long day tomorrow, even work may be overshadowed by this, could have used this 2 years ago on that fateful night. 11/6/18 The Blue Wave of election day. Unlike 2 years ago when that blowhard of president peeved off the country, this made me glad i was working. Plenty of distractions. But Walker is gone from Wisconsin and the Blue Wave crested at the house. Not the complete washover those wanting Trump gone hoped for but still great. 11/7/18 Those 2 dopes i call younger brothers...Somehow they dont get it. Only thing they do get, is how awesome Red Dead Redemption is and how i wish to high heaven it came out for the Switch. 11/8/18 This time of year when the cold comes out, the stuff you like to do seems impractical. I have a vehicle that I cant use until i get it titled, and a nephew coming in 1 week who may not even see me a bunch. Lone thing giving me some solace, the black Friday Ads popped up today. So many possibilities. 11/9/18 Winter has shown in full force, proof being, those 2 dopes stuck here. Me having to suffer through it until I head to work. Holding off on Grinch until next week, possibly seeing it with Mom and Eli. 11/10/18 RWBY Continues to astound. Salems storied history with Oz, wholly molly. Christmas season always seems to bring out the best when it comes to treats. Lately my favorite seems to be those nougats. Fresh and gooey all in one sweet package. Badgers sure do stink. That guy getting revenge on Pete Davidson especially the Ariana Ringtone that was worth it to see during SNL, Liev Schriber sure is not funny though. 11/11/18 Vets, heroes who give thier daily lives to defend all that we hold dear and sacred. Also fitting its the centiniel of said remeberence. New guy on Cap 2 Tristan, I'm really liking, seems to hold his own quite well. 4 days until Eli comes looking forward to it. 11/12/18 Why does family make the easy things so difficult, once again those 2 dopes. Store had Black Friday stuff being assembled today. Be glad to use debit card tomorrow when i get bulk of my funds back. Last few days have been rough. 11/13/18 GameFlip, an app ive been using to buy mainly Amazon cards is really having it both ways with me. Great to find digital codes for almost nada, but this one guy who i bought a card from on Sunday has been really screwey. Really miffed on that front. Said digital codes allows me to rewatch The Meg during work lunch. 11/14/18 Final Project for class has me creating a full training seminar. Stinks knowing that I have to do it on too broad a subject issue. Mobility in the workplace, having to do with wheelchairs and other devices. Wow city this is hard. Christmas box has been dug out, begining decorating tomorrow before Eli shows up. Hunters at play this weekend. Also glad store discount expands to food for rest of year. 11/15/18 Dad is 60 feels weird to say that. Well Eli, a little bit intimidated by me, but we have a week to fix it. Got A debt collection thing from WITC On the same day i finaly knocked off tuition. I know i wanted to not have autopay on tuition but this is ridiculously overkill. Likley watching Fantastic Beasts Saturday when we get back from Rice Lake, glad like the Queen movie this is in town. 11/16/18 Nora and Eli, weird combo that sends him into his Grandmas arms. Glad thats occuring while im not at home. At least my and Erics Grandma got to see him, just not sure how much longer that will be a possibility. One week to Black Friday and the trucks for delivery have tripled. The sales will be worth it but the work on the other hand, wish that just came faster. 11/17/18 Stags day, the first day of hunting season a little less crowded around the area. Went with mom and Eli to see Grinch but showing ended up being sold out. Eli for being 4 is just a near ball of energy, even if we never gave him sugar Wish he could calm down, mom somehow seemed chill with it, might have to take her advice on this issue. Cute when he has to be, bullet like mom put it on all other fronts. As for Fantastic Beasts, it seemed overstuffed for its own good a two hour episode like youd see on Netflix or somewhere else. Though Depp did win me over as Grindlewald. 11/18/18 Eli was better today, and we managed to actually get some stuff done. He ended up being major help with placing ornaments on my tree. Work however was a mess, misinformation abound. Thursday outside better not be a bigger mess. Oh wait its the Black Friday sale yeah it will be. 11/19/18 The thanksgiving week is always wacky, Monday somehow is wackiest. Eli went with Mom to meet Rafe while I mainly spent it finishing decorating the room. Green Light Strand isnt working will have to replace it. Cayedn surprsingly got a deer and Eric is really helpful on that front. Work meanwhile was nuts, this time however, with Split Pants. May have to get new ones before Thursday Night. Glad this week a lot of stuff on Itunes and Amazon is on sale. Will likely take big advantage of this. Andy possibly thew wrench in plans, hopeful that i dont have to cancel. 11/20/18 Lone day off this week has me stopping at WITC to finish work i have assigned since i have no class tomorrow. Had to pick up pants as my others split. Will hold off on game or blu ray until thursday night after work. Mom and Skillet cookies glad she makes them but could wonder what else around here might break as stove is going. Our turkey is set for tomorrow as Eric and compay leave before parade on thursday. Hopin to get Eli once more to do craft project, want to surprise mom on that count. 11/21/18 The day before, aka the busiest travel day of the year. Made rudolph feet with Eli, a lot bigger than i pictured him to be. Had to wear split pants as replacements didn't fit. Turkey was good, unexpectedly tried Moms squash that was really tasty for some odd reason. Back outside for carts tomorrow, first time since the summer and i get thrown to the wolves on the big one. Colder than usual i will admit. 11/22/18 Eli seemed sad to leave us, but at least i got him the ornament he made ready before he did. Another thanksgiving the parade in full glory. Lions crappy game, Cowboys decent game, and Wal-Marts annual 6pm sale. Cole really needed to be slapped. He must think im dumber than i look. Best part is always the low price movies and tv shows. Annual pickups of Flash, Arrow and Big Bang Theory. Handmaids Tale DVD counts too this time along with Jumanji and a film i personally wanted to see but heard crap about, Assassins Creed. Not looking forward to the rain tomorrow. 11/23/18 Quieter than usual actual Black Friday. Couple that with Rain that washed away snow, pretty off day all around. 11/24/18 Plans for Basketball with Andy and Carynn are officially scrapped, could remedy that in another surprise way. Something about today that just felt so much more off than usual. Lingered at Library, lingered at Store, even lingered at McDonalds stuff i would not normally do on a day like this. Ralph Breaks the Internet I'll hold off on for now. Really still want to see Grinch. Badgers finally lost the Ax after 15 years, really makes you think. 11/25/18 Finally got Wolfenstien 2 downloaded for Switch, will look forward to play something else besides Zelda for a bit Smash Bros awaits in the wings. Christmas gifts are starting to take abit of idea form. UCF continues to climb, will need upsets by Texas and Northwestern to have a shot at Playoff but without QB is risky. 11/26/18 Mom threw out her back, not sure if it was from picking up Eli but she seemed more out of sorts than usual. Other replacement for Cap 2 joined, liking him so far. Small issue with Chyenne who was on phone for nealry 15 minutes in the middle of the aisle, and nobody said a peep. If it was me, would have been fired. Privelege indeed. Guy at McDonalds may be homeless, was tempted to report him but with all the white calling blacks for doing normal stuff no way id risk it. 11/27/18 This day always seems to be the quietest when it comes to stuff coming out, almost nothing. One movie I wanted to get for Eli when he was here finally showed up. Wrapped up DVD's as gifts for Eric and them. 15% extra coming Thursday. Not sure what itll be used for. 11/28/18 Rare Wednesday I had store duties as well as class. Got extra 15% card for the even 25%. Glad ill be able to use it this time. Unlike what I originally had intended for The 30th. Could use some more snow around here. 11/29/18 25% discount thankfully goes 2 days so held off on that. Visited WITC the Christmas decorations are great as usual. Visited Menards but the so called enchanted forest seemed lacking. At least I was able to get bulbs and another set of blue lights. Sold ticket, hopeful Andy can get in tomorrow and enjoy himself. 11/30/18 Contigency Plan #2: Animated Grinch, OK Cumberbatch was excellent and Pharell ups Anthony Hopkins but the movie was just simply Ok. 25% got used well for Moms clients and Connor and Amber. Andy and Carynn got in and enjoyed themselves. Also got thier save the date and details on the  Weddding. Looks like a fun 4 day trip next May. Last Part of Year begins, lets see if this can finish strong. Never  figured at start that id be blogging this but just goes to so. 334 Days down 31 to Go.

[wtfeveniscollege]

My Favorite Sister

                                                                                                   feb. 16th, 2017

 Heyy Babe!  It’s your birthday you’re getting so old!  You’re not wrinkly yet so don’t worry too much about it.  I’ve been writing a lot lately and I’ve really been enjoying it. I’m much better at explaining my feelings in writing than in speaking.  Of course there are a million and one other things I could be doing, know like school work or finding a job to pay my terrifying college tuition but it’s okay.  So here it goes, this is going to be one of the things I continuously add to because I always think of more important things to say.  You are so important to me and I want it to be perfect.

I think a sister is someone that you can look up to.  And as you both grow older, they become a best friend. The love between sisters is so indescribable.  People without these connections don’t understand it, when I talk about you people ask me how I know you.  They think were just friends.  I wish I could come up with some other way to explain to you how much you mean to me. I love you more than any quote could ever describe.  But I hope this letter will show you a little too.

 So you’re 23!  I think a lot about time and how scary it is that we are all growing up.  You are 23 now and Jack is 26!  I’m not even calling Jack Bubba anymore, that makes me very uncomfortable but we all have to move on sometime.  I think you may always be Sissy; it just feels right.  I went 700 miles away to college, Jack moved out of the house and bought his own.  And a dog! Like what!?  You’re going to school and we are all just continuing our lives as if age isn’t the most horrifying thing in the world.

I still remember us when we were little at the shore house all playing whiffleball and riding horses together at Artemis Farms.  I remember your basketball games and sitting at horse shows playing pretend with Alexa in the Hummer because we weren’t old enough to show. But you were.  And I remember always looking up to you, I wanted to be everything that my big sister was.  You were my favorite person in the world.  Yeah, of course we fought like crazy and-I swore to god-I hated you most days. But when you were nice to me or let me hang out with you and your friends in your room, I felt like the coolest kid ever.  I remember your dark eyeliner-MySpace phase with your side bangs and low cut shirts. I went through that phase too except I didn’t know how to use makeup, especially eyeliner and I was never as pretty as you.  Ever. I still think you are so beautiful, today people ask me all the time if we are twins and that seriously means so much to me.  It’s fucking awesome that I get to look like my big sister.  I remember wanting so badly to be closer in age to Jack like you were.  I wanted Jack and his friends to treat me the way they treated you, they treated you like a person and loved having you around.  They took you out to parties and truck things I was so jealous I never got that really until this past year.  I am so grateful for it though because I’ve seen how it has shaped you and how it’s going to shape me.  

           Something I love most about our family is that most of us aren’t blood.  They are friends that spend more time in our garage than they do at home.  I am forever grateful that you and Jack gave that to me.  I have so many brothers I look up to and love so much.  I love everything that you have introduced me to.  When we get to ride together it means the world to me, it may not always be the most exhilarating thing but I’m with my sister, enjoying nature and spending time with some beautiful animals.  Horses, are another thing I would not have if it wasn’t for you.  I want to do more trail rides, I love being out in the woods exploring with you, it’s always an adventure and something we remember forever.  I want to explore new places and ride on the beach and oh my god- I can’t wait to start barrel racing again.  I know I’m not good but I love it so much and I love being on Rio I think it’s so much fun for him to get to use his sharp turns.  I can’t wait to run in fun shows with games like pole bending and baton passing and I can’t wait to go to your races for the weekend and help out with Chloe. I love spending hot nights in the small, sweaty trailer.  I know how hard you work at everything and that’s a quality I want to have too.  You’re up every day to feed the horses and clean stalls and you’re out at night to spend time and to feed them again, there is no break or vacation with these animals.  You ride almost every day or every other day and you are so dedicated to the sport. You love the animals so much and I get so much enjoyment out of seeing that too.  I love watching you and Chloe fuck shit up at every show, race, and everything else you participate in, you might not always be first, but people remember you.  

Something else that I always wished I was, was badass.  You are a badass bitch Sissy, you really are.  People don’t mess with you and you don’t take shit from anyone.  That’s so admirable.  And it’s not at all because you think you’re better than anyone.  You are just so good at what you do, it comes so naturally.  I consider you the best rider I’ve ever seen. I know I’ve not seen much but you rode English and taught yourself Western and then you taught me.  You were a better a trainer than Aimee ever was.  So many of my friends used to tell me it must be so cool having a sister and it really is.  I am forever appreciative that Mommy had you first.  I think it’s so special to be able to have a sister and a brother to look up to as huge influences in life.  I’m telling you, I would not be being doing the things I’m doing today if it wasn’t for the way I grew up with siblings.  The horses made me love agriculture and animals, Jack and his friends, trucks and riding created my love of the outdoors.  

I think since we have grown up and become more mature, we have grown closer. I am so grateful for the fact that my sister is my best friend and that we talk and text every day.  A lot of people don’t have that; Amanda has an older sister but they don’t talk.  I couldn’t imagine that.  We talk about things now that we never have and that is something I think we both have been missing.  You have so much strength, I think you and Jack took it all and I got none of it in my genes honestly.  You have been and will be going through one of the hardest things in your life right now. I can’t even fathom how your hold yourself together, you are so strong and brave even though you face every day with the pain of loss.  And I will never understand why Sissy, no one deserves what happened to Morgan.  I would not wish this on anyone, your pain is incomprehensible.  Morgan was the love of your life, and you were so happy and so was he.  So young and had so much ahead of the two of you together and I am forever so incredibly sorry that this has happened.  There is no explanation and no fucking reason why. I don’t want to make this letter a sad one.  I bring up Morgan because he was and is a huge part of your life.  He was everything you deserved in a man.  He gave you what you needed, he endlessly made you laugh, loved your dogs so much, bought you Dunkin, took you on adventures, and most of all he loved you more than anything in the world.  As a sister, I was so happy you were finally happy like you deserved.  At the time I did not really appreciate this but I see it now, and I know you guys loved more than anyone I have ever seen.  You guys really knew love.  Throughout life you will come across a lot of men that you could fall in love with, and I think you will.  You deserve to be happy and have a good life filled with love and your own family if that’s what you want.  Morgan knows you deserve the world, and since he can no longer give it to you, he wants you to find someone who can.  

I’ve been searching for the perfect birthday gift.  I have been struggling to find the right thing because it needs to be perfect.  What do you give to the sister who has been there for you in your rough times when she has her own stuff going on?  You are my best friend and you have been there for me every day like no one else ever has.  It’s crazy to think that the distance has brought us closer together. And every day I think about how much I miss you and how excited I am to see you next break. I love Clemson.  I love it so much, I have been given the opportunity of a life time and I can’t even explain how grateful I am.  Mommy and Daddy want us to have the best and that’s why Clemson was even an option.  With that being said, as much as I wanted to come home and stay, I will take this opportunity.  And you have been the one to support me all the way through it, you have made it easier to get here.  It means the world when you visit, I had the time of my life partying and exploring with you.  I cannot wait for the summer when we hang out all the time and do all the normal stuff you’ve been doing without me.  I have so many plans for when I’m home for three months.  I think even Jack is excited.  

I have been going on and on and I’m sorry.  I know I always write so much but I don’t want to leave anything out.  What I’ve been trying to get at is that I would die for you Sissy, I would do anything for you to be happy.  I love you more than anything and I have thought a lot about that.  I ask myself who else would I die for, even kill for?  You and maybe Jack.  If it was a good day, one of those days when he’s really nice to me.  I have had a lot of “best friends”.  Friend Jack, Emma, Maggie, Francesca, Mandie.  But they all come and go and come back again and we lose touch then we see each other.  But you have always stayed by my side.  I feel like I have wasted my whole life not being this close to you.  I guess distance does make the heart grow fonder. But I wish we were this close before I went away.  

My crazy doctor (Kevin) here at Clemson tells me that when I feel anxious I need to distract myself.  Like when I try and go to the dining hall and there’s too many people that I feel like I need to leave, I should listen to music or something.  I have been feeling anxious like this a lot recently.  I guess just since coming to school here.  But anyway, I asked him if it would be okay to talk on the phone, because I thought about how comforting it might be to talk to you and get food and not worry about what other people think.  A lot of the time when I call you I am at the dining hall. Kevin told me this tactic is okay for a little while but I soon have to try some new things to tackle my anxiety otherwise I will never get over it.  I can’t get used to you being free to talk every time I go to the dining hall, it’s not reasonable.  But talking to you was the first thing I thought of when he said I needed to be distracted. I think that’s what sisters are for. They are your first line of defense, they are there are no matter what and I hope I am that to you too.  A lifelong friend to do anything and everything with, to hold you when you’re sad.  To be there for you through the good times and the bad.  Someone to call when you’re drunk at a party crying over a stupid boy, someone to text when you’re in self-destruct mode.  Someone that you can’t thank enough and someone you can’t even begin to thank your mother for.  

Most importantly, I want you to know that I love you so so much.  I can’t even tell you.  When I call mommy and ask about you she knows that she has created the greatest bond.  She never had a sister so she doesn’t know the exact kind of love but she sees it. She knows we have that love.  And I wouldn’t trade it for the world.  And as we both grow up and move on and move out, just know I’ll always be here, I’ll always be your rock Sissy.  I love you lots.