#(guy whos unable to stop thinking about oneiros fearing vyrn & lyria cuz one could make her disappear and the other could control her)

[toestalucia]

“  i wanna get better.  ” @wayfaringastral

meme.

It's words they hadn't considered, lost in the never-ending spiral of situations out of their control, the pieces of words and actions remaining sprawled across the table. Rosetta and Io had said he acted strange in Agastia when they stayed behind to fight Fenrir, and it was in that same city he first denied their request. A moment like looking in a mirror, perhaps a bit distorted, but the expression he had been wearing had been uncomfortably close to their own. (Why wouldn't it? When their hearts had lost its meaning.)

And then a memory that wasn't theirs emerged, and any thoughts about his grief was shelved.

They aren't surprised. They should be. This wasn't the kind of conversation they had ever had (but neither was any other). How many times now had he helped them out? Whether intentionally or not (watching the Grandsleuth made them wonder about the path their father had travelled, she looked more happy in the sky than locked to some harbor). Getting better — from the grief? Or from the past. He should be better, they should be better, everything was alright now. The night sky was glimmering, stars from a distant place gently offering warmth across a backdrop that wasn't broken anymore. Should they aim for it next? The moon or the stars—whichever would make people laugh in disbelief.

"You should visit sometime", it flows naturally, as if they were talking about tea and not matters of the heart. Since everything was alright and returning to normal, the bond between them should also return to its uncertain, wavering form. Not a friend, but not quite a foe, a presence they weren't able to name.

If they hadn't put their existence in his hands.

If they weren't realizing that whenever someone left their sight the memories of that day crashed through their mind. Their heart uneasy even in the comfort of the Grandcypher, knowing that Io and Rosetta were making dinner with Lyria and Vyrn. And yet. And yet.

"I can't say everyone will be positive", Phoebe had been rather distraught upon sensing Astrals nearby, and as much as it pained them to see, they also knew she trusted them when they said Loki and Mikaboshi wouldn't do her any harm. "But they won't turn you away", for good and for worse, a group of people insistent on feeling the pain and joy of others, and Gran loved them so very dearly for it. A pause follows, hesitant on how to continue, on how to speak of matters such as this without the ever compassionate Lyria by their side.

"...If you hadn't helped us, then we'd still be...no, maybe I would have already..." the what-if's haunting their dreams following in a jumbled mess, trailing off while they take a moment to try again. "...Thank you. For helping us out again", this mask I wear can't be removed. Did that still ring true, when he spoke like this? "Lyria is better at this than I am, but...I think we've been through enough that we don't have to be on different sides anymore. We don't have to see eye-to-eye, and you don't have to tell me what's happening, but I don't want to be suspicious of you and your crew next time we meet. You gave me the chance to save the people I love. I want to trust you, Loki", for the first time they shift their gaze to look at him, as steadfast and determined as always, leaving someone behind had never been something they could do. "If there's anything I—we—can do for you, then we'll do it. That's why...if you want to talk about things, you know where to find us."