#(glass is expected to live to 150)

[duck-in-the-universe]

I think it's funny when robots in fiction are just,,, super old and they outlive multiple generations of humans and are kinda treated as functionally immortal but irl tech is like "Your car is 20 years old???" or "I get a new smart phone every two years!"

Lemme see old ass bots who are mocked for being all ancient and outmoded and then when someone asks "How old are you??" it turns out they're like five.

[vanteguccir]

── ୨୧ !　𝗧𝗜𝗞𝗧𝗢𝗞 𝗧𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗦

　　　　　　　　　𝒄𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒐 x reader

SUMMARY: 4 times that Y/N and Chris made a couple's trend on tiktok.

WARNING: None.

REQUESTED?: Yes, by anon.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

　　　༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

Since the pandemic, tiktok has become one of the most used social media in the whole world, thousands of people download it every day and thousands more create content daily or, sometimes, just post a video that explodes in views, many of them starting a career with it, or creating a hobby from it.

And that's what happened in Y/N's life. She was still finishing high school when she posted her first video on the app, not expecting it to get more than 10 likes.

She was at the triplets' house, still in Boston, watching a movie with her boyfriend, when that same video exploded, reaching more than 300 thousand views and 150 thousand likes.

So, while Matt, Nick, and Chris were starting their careers on their new YouTube channel, Y/N was starting hers on TikTok.

Fans loved the fact that Chris's girlfriend had a TikTok account and posted regularly, after all, she lived with him in LA, which meant that the fandom had content of her and him together almost weekly.

Y/N was the typical influencer who participated in all the trends that interested her, from dancing or singing famous songs to recording herself cooking different recipes.

But the ones she loved most were the couple trends, and it was nothing that a few minutes of begging Chris to do them with her couldn't convince him.

Secretly, the boy loved making that mini videos for TikTok with Y/N; he adored showing that he was hers, how much he loved her, and how obsessed he was with her.

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

1.

Chris positioned Y/N's phone on top of his computer desk, the device resting on his laptop with the screen facing forward, the TikTok camera already open, and with the audio already selected.

The boy took his Prada wallet from the back pocket of his baggy jeans, leaving it ready in his hand, hiding it behind his back.

His blue eyes glanced briefly at Y/N, who was on his right side and out of the camera's frame, a smile on her face as she admired him, waiting for the recording to begin.

He extended his right arm, clicking the red button in the bottom center of the screen. The melody of the chorus of Cupid's Chokehold / Breakfast in America by Gym Glass Heroes began to play.

"Everywhere I go I keep her picture in my wallet like"

Chris removed his hand that was hidden behind his back, showing the black wallet and opening it, holding it on the left side so that the right side was exposed to the camera, the transparent plastic holding a small picture of Y/N. His face appeared on the right side of the screen, a sideways smile decorating his face.

The girl was lying on Chris's chest in the picture, probably in their bed, the room was dark and the camera's flash completely illuminated her face, a big smile adorned her features along with her closed eyes.

Chris brought his wallet closer to the phone's front camera, holding it there for a few seconds before lifting it slowly and lowering it quickly while moving slightly to the right side.

"Take a look at my girlfriend"

Y/N's figure appeared where the wallet was, wearing a pink set from Fresh Love, a soft smile on her face as her eyes focused on Chris, a passionate glow in them.

"She's the only one I got (ba-ba-da-da)"

Chris returned the smile, placing his wallet on the desk and pulling his girlfriend's body against his, filling her face and neck with kisses. Y/N, throwing her head back with her mouth open in silent laughter, was the last image the camera captured before the tiktok ended.

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

2.

Y/N docked her phone in the phone holder attached to the dashboard of the triplets' car, which she asked Matt to borrow the keys so she could go out to lunch with Chris.

She lowered the device's screen brightness, leaving it at minimum so that Chris wouldn't see the TikTok camera opened. Her eyes quickly went to her boyfriend next to her, seeing him scrolling through his own cell, probably looking for a nice restaurant for them to eat at, as Y/N had asked him to do.

She quickly clicked the red record button at the bottom of the screen, smiling briefly at it, an amused gleam in her eyes.

"There's this Osteria Mozza that looks cool. It's Italian, just how you like it." Chris commented, his eyes still focused on his own phone screen as he read the restaurant's reviews.

"Great, I feel like eating pasta." Y/N nodded quickly. "Let me just touch up my lip gloss real quick." She asked, turning her body sideways and reaching over to the seat where Nick normally sits, grabbing her purse.

She pulled it forward, slamming the side of it against the back of Chris' head, before placing it on her lap.

"Ouch, fuck! What was that for?" Chris's voice was high pitched due to the surprise of the impact, his cap almost falling off his head as his right hand left his phone and went to his hair, fixing the piece there while he looked exasperatedly at his girlfriend, his blue eyes wide.

The girl pressed her lips together as she tried to hold back her laughter, clearing her throat momentarily. She opened her purse and took out her Dior lip gloss.

"I'm sorry, baby. I didn't even notice. Are you okay?" Y/N glanced at him quickly, her brow furrowed in false concern.

"Yes, just be careful next time." Chris asked, removing his hand from his cap before turning his attention back to his phone.

Y/N closed the zipper after reapplying her lip gloss, anticipating her boyfriend's final reaction before turning her body again, raising her arm and taking the purse to the backseat, slamming it into Chris again, this time hitting his nose.

"Babe! What the fuck?" He frowned, turning abruptly to her as he brought his hand up to his nose, rubbing the area. "What the hell are you doing?"

A sound of laughter escaped Y/N's throat, her mouth falling open as a laugh escaped freely, her head falling back. Chris watched her as if she were crazy, the beginning of a smile appearing on his lips, his blue eyes running over her expressions.

"I'm sorry baby, it was for a tiktok. You're so funny." She said amidst laughter, pointing to her phone that was still recording them.

Chris rolled his eyes, a big smile taking over his features as his hand reached for the device. He widened his eyes at the camera playfully before clicking the red button again, stopping the recording.

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

3.

Y/N took advantage of the fact that Chris was still brushing his teeth in the bathroom of their bedroom to position her phone on the nightstand on her side of the bed, the front camera capturing an entire side of the room.

She pressed her lips into a thin line, trying to contain her laughter in anticipation as she grabbed her pillow and blanket from the bed, gathering them both under her arm.

"Chris, I'm going to sleep on the couch tonight." Y/N spoke out loud, intending for the boy to hear her.

And he did, lifting his head abruptly and turning his body completely towards her, his toothbrush in hand and toothpaste on his lips.

"What?" His voice was muffled by his full mouth, his eyes wide as he watched her in surprise.

"I'm going to sleep on the couch today." She repeated, looking directly at him this time, making sure her body wasn't in full view of the camera or cutting into Chris's image.

"What? Why?" Chris asked again, a thread of sadness crossing his blue eyes as his brow furrowed, his mind working hard to try to understand what he had done wrong. A pain took over Y/N's heart, wanting to give up on the idea right then and there.

"I'm going to sleep in the living room, on the couch." Y/N spoke one last time, turning around and walking towards the bedroom door, in order to open it, but her action was stopped by the brunette, who spat the paste in his mouth into the sink and dropped the brush, running towards the girl.

"Wait, you sleep on the bed, and I sleep on the floor above a blanket or something, and tomorrow morning, we'll talk about it. Just don't let me sleep alone." He asked in a desperate tone, taking her arm and pulling her close, wanting to hug her and apologize for whatever he had done, even without knowing what it was.

Y/N looked into Chris' eyes, her own wide in surprise. She didn't expect that.

"Oh my baby, no! It's a prank, just a tiktok trend." The girl explained quickly, pointing briefly to the phone still recording before pulling Chris into her arms, feeling her eyes filling with tears and her heart warming with love.

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

4.

"Nick, this is not that difficult. They only have two types: pink and purple, I want the pink one! Are you dumb?" Chris was talking loudly, his phone pressed on his ear as he was on a call with his brother, having asked Nick to buy a specific candy he knew Y/N liked on his quick trip to Target.

Y/N walked towards him with her own phone in hand already recording, the rear camera facing Chris, who was sitting on their bed with his back against the headboard, the blanket covering half of his body as the sound of a random series came out of the television.

The girl was only wearing small cycling black shorts and a Chris t-shirt that was huge on her body, covering her bra-free boobs.

She walked closer as she watched her boyfriend fight with his brother, a look of boredom in his eyes that quickly met hers, a small smile appearing on his face as he sent her a wink.

Y/N smiled back before stopping her steps, her free hand going to the hem of her - his - t-shirt and pulling it up a second later, exposing her boobs to Chris.

His blue eyes widened in a matter of seconds, his mouth opening into a perfect O. Nick's voice sounded shouting from the other side, demanding that Chris responded, but to his ears, everything seemed to have gone silent.

"Nick, buy anything, you name it. I need to take care of one thing right now, I mean, two." The brunette spoke weakly into his phone, lowering the device and clicking the red button to hang up the call without even looking at it, completely ignoring Nick's voice on the other end.

The girl let out a laugh, the image of Chris standing up abruptly and pulling Y/N against his body being the last thing captured on camera, before the tiktok ended.

[storiesbyrhi]

Witch!Reader x Bat/Vampire!Eddie Munson Series Masterlist The Grimoire The Timeline

Warnings: canon typical violence, horror genre typical violence/some infrequent gore, swearing, animal death, no beta, death in childbirth (mentioned, not described), abusive parents, suicide, spiders/bugs, grief/mourning; light smut; warnings updated each chapter.

Synopsis: No witch has stepped foot in Hawkins since 1845, but when Vecna opens the ground and poisons the town, a voice begins to call to you. Have you been brought back to this cursed place to heal the townspeople’s wounds, to save a hexed bat that always finds its way to you, or to redefine your history with a reunion 150 years in the making?

Chapter Summary: You are wide awake. 2340 words.

1986

Every day Eddie watched the jar. He watched how the moon water moved, alive and with a viscosity different from regular water. He watched the apple slices dry and the sprigs of lavender go stiff. He thought if he watched closely enough, he’d see the magic working, but he never caught a glimmer of craft.

When it was time, you let him plant the enchanted seed in the new coven neighbourhood. Your home would grow furthest out, close to the shade of the woods. A spell later, you were traveling back to Forest Hills to begin packing the trailer up.

It had been months since you’d moved in, therefore you had accumulated a lot of items.

“Do you need all of these?” Eddie asked, holding up one of five shoeboxes, all packed with feathers you had found. “And is this a normal amount of feathers to find? What is wrong with the birds in Hawkins?”

“Yes and no and a lot. I told you that if you are gonna help, you can’t question every single thing you pick up,”

“I’m doing no such thing,” he rebutted.

“Eddie, you told me to cull my jar collection,”

“I stand by it. There are too many. You can collect more,”

“I use them! Frequently! And I don’t just keep any jar. All the ones I have are, like, uniquely shaped or extra sturdy!” you whined. “Asking a witch to not collect jars is just…” You shook your head, not able to find the words to express the atrocity.

Eddie smiled at you softly. “Perhaps I am not the best helper,” he conceded. “Perhaps my time would be better spent doing something else,”

“Something else like use your vampire speed to clean the bathroom, or something else like turn into a bat and sleep?”

An hour later, Eddie was asleep in one of the boxes containing clothes, and you were wrapping more empty jars in bubble wrap.

…

A monument to witchcraft and love. That’s what Eddie thought when he saw the house. It had the glorious drama of Ev’s Victorian home and the softness of the other witches’ cottages. Expansive stained glass windows. Detailed architraves, the wood so dark it appeared black. Red brick. A single-story structure, but the dome of a conservatory was visible over the roof. It extended back into the woods, settling into the landscape as if it had always been there.

Eddie thought back to all the places he had lived in. The house his father’s rage felt the brunt of as much as he did. The farm he came into adulthood on. The colony caves. The cold and lonely hotel rooms. The trees above Forest Hills. He’d never had a home, apart from your arms, but there it was. Real and in front of him.

The sun was setting over the valley as Eddie stood before the house. You’d seen it early that day, doing your final checks before okaying the move. It was your magic the house grew from, so naturally you were less awestruck by it. The floorplan and aesthetic had been born in your mind. Still, it was a beautiful thing.

“Think it will do?” you asked Eddie, coming to stand beside him.

He couldn’t tear his eyes away from it. “It’s…” How many different words were there for ‘home,’ he wondered. What language could fully communicate the depth of emotion?

“Enchanted seeds create homes, not houses,” you told him as you walked towards the front door. “Come and see.”

Eddie followed, almost expecting something to happen as he crossed the front door threshold. Once inside, Eddie clenched his jaw. It was more perfect than he could have anticipated.

The furniture was plush and comfortable, an eclectic mix of antique pieces and modern amenities. Bookshelves stood tall and waiting, ready for the library to arrive. Potted ivy trailed up and around curtain railings and along the walls.

“You never got to see my place in the Catskills. A lot of the furniture comes from there. The rest comes from the seed… It’s the kind of magic that makes me wish we could study it, you know? I want to know the science of it. How does it work?”

“It seems to me that part of the power of magic is in the unknowing,” Eddie replied, as wise as any of the Witches Who Came Before.

“It does appear to be the case,” you agreed.

For a while, you let Eddie wander aimlessly through the house.

He marvelled at the bath, huge and round, like a pond and definitely big enough for two. A huge wardrobe door that opened into a secret library. The conservatory full of thriving plants, flowers, herbs, and other living things Eddie did not have a word for. Every window a different shape but never square. Strange detailing like cat shaped doorknobs and pink quartz basins.

Eventually, Eddie sat on the end of the huge bed, its four posts grand and its linen crisp. He looked over at you and held out his hands.

“Come.”

You walked to him, taking his hands, and standing between his legs. Eddie looked up at you with those sparkling brown eyes, the adoration radiating from him.

“It’s an irrational idea, this fear I have that I’m dreaming. That I am still cursed, haunting this town until the end of time. But a vampire cannot dream. The cursed cannot dream. But still…”

Gently, you let go of Eddie’s hands and leaned into him, snaking your fingers into his hair as he pressed himself into your body, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“You are wide awake. Alive… kind of… But definitely here. With me. In our home. Soon-to-be, with our friends. Our family. And just in time for Halloween.”

He purred a happy sound, nodding into you. “A witch’s favourite holiday?” he hazarded a guess.

“Hmm, not all of us. Most of the witches I’ve known tended to find more obscure holidays to worship at the altar of. New Years is a big one, too. Alas, I am but a cliché All Hallows witch,”

“With much respect, I see that,” Eddie said. You laughed, shrugged. He looked up at you again. “You did fall in love with a vampire, after all.”

…

Far away from the rest of the world, you and Eddie spent almost a week settling into the new house. Grimoires were catalogued into one of the three library rooms. Dandelion puffs were jarred and shelved. Every trinket found its home.

Eddie tested the rainbow light that flooded the rooms, discovering that in the magic there was safety. Sunlight that filtered through the windows did not burn him. He could be free and at ease.

You explained to Eddie the importance of representing the elements within the home. Earth in the plants, wooden carpentry, and the grounding crystals. Fire in the candles, ever-burning incense, and roaring fireplaces that only ever emitted the exact level of heat you wanted.  (“In summer, the flames burn cold,” you told Eddie and watched his smile grow.) Water in the mirrors, seashells, and small fountains found in the glasshouse room. Lastly, air in the wind chimes, feathers, and windows that could remain open without upsetting the temperature inside.

During the day, you began work on your garden, creating flower beds in the shape of pentagrams and sewing seeds. Borage for the butterflies and bees, primrose – I can’t live without you; angelica in case you need to break any future hexes; and yarrow, amaryllis, and polypodies.

One evening, just before sunset, you found Eddie rummaging through the apothecary pantry. As you entered the room, his manic smile told you he’d had an idea.

“What’s the story, morning glory?” you asked him, perching on a stool.

Eddie sunk to his knees and shrugged. “The fires are out… The Shire is no longer burning,”

“The Shire being… Hawkins?”

“Yes. And us. We’ve sailed to the Undying Lands,”

“You’re really making Tolkien your whole personality, huh?” you joked.

Eddie smiled up at you. “Until the next book… But what I’m saying is, now that we do not have a battle to prepare for. No conflict upon the horizon. What do we do with all of eternity?”

“Oh… My plan was to eat a lot of Meg’s cinnamon rolls… Try to get Steve Harrington to stop haunting Mel… Maybe work on a spell to make myself teeny tiny so I can ride around on you when you’re a bat…”

“Wait, seriously?”

You gave him a sly smile. “Maybe,”

“Well, I would love that… But, I was thinking a little more introspectively. Back to things we have thought about before. Like, why I am the way that I am… What that means…” He ran a finger along the leaves of the mimosa pudica plant beside him. The leaves felt his touch, curled inwards on themselves. It was one of Eddie’s favourites, the way it reacted to the world around it.

“Any new insights?” you asked softy.

“No… But… If I believe in you and in your magic and the way you make sense of the world… then I… I have to do something,”

“Do something?”

“We get back what we give, right?”

“Yeah,” you agreed. “It’s not always obvious or direct. Or timely. Or even equally fair… But, yeah… There is definitely something like the concept of karma at play. And even if there isn’t, living as if there is can only be a good thing,”

“Then I must show more grace… and gratitude… Even if I am a monster, maybe especially because I am… I can give goodness too.”

Without thinking, you slid off the stool and joined Eddie on the floor. “You already do. You don’t owe the world anything.”

Eddie smiled, first a small soft thing, almost sad, but then it twisted into something else. Ear-to-ear and full of teeth. “I owe it more than one life,”

“But if we count all the lives you have saved. Both by killing what plagued this town, and by preventing deaths at the hands of bad people-”

“Morality cannot be simple addition and subtraction. There is no math that can quantify goodness or righteousness. You know that,” Eddie cut in. He watched your face, saw the pensiveness blossom across it. “Don’t worry, my little witch, my plan is not as life-or-death as this all makes it seem… I just want to do something good for your friends,”

“Your friends,” you corrected quickly. “They’ll be your friends too. Your family. You’re part of this coven.”

Eddie reached out to cup your face in his hands. “Your coven is yours. But I will take the friendship. I have years of loneliness to make up for,”

“Then what-”

He cut you off again, this time with a kiss. You brought your hands up to his shoulders, draping your arms around his neck. Eddie pulled you into his lap and you curled into him like the leaves of the mimosa.

His mouth kissed and sucked at your neck between sentence fragments. “I’m-” kiss “going-” kiss “to plant-” lick “them-” kiss “flowers.” His punctuation a kiss that wanted to be a bite.

You were hardly listening to his words. His words and ideas and introspective musings could all wait.

Eddie laid you down on the floor, the smell of the oak still new. You arched your back and pulled him down by his collar.

“Bed,” you mumbled into his mouth.

“Why build a house if we’re not gonna use it,” he answered.

One hand splayed next to your head to keep him up, the other tickling its way under the hem of your skirt and up your thigh.

“Besides,” Eddie said. “Doesn’t feel like you can wait.” He was sliding your underwear off, throwing them across the room. He rested a hand on you, sliding an index finger through your slickness.

“I can’t,” you agreed, breathy and impatient. “Now. I want you now.”

Eddie didn’t have to be asked twice. With his pants still hanging from an ankle, he was fast to set up and slow on approach. You felt the tip of him follow the path made by his hand, gathering wetness, and shooting electricity through your body.

You melted into jelly beneath him, bliss written all over your face. Eddie loved you like this, pliable and prone to tears of ecstasy.

He held himself back, keeping his pace slow and steady. His vampire muscles screamed to go faster, to rail you into next week, but he liked pulling you apart. Liked how you unconsciously uttered strings of words like ‘full’ and ‘please’ and ‘can’t.’ Liked when you clawed at him to come closer, bit down on his shoulder.

“I love you,” he told you, mouth on your ear, tongue licking. “So. Fucking. Much.”

There was a seemingly endless amount of ways Eddie had learned could make you cum. Talking to you was a favourite for you both.

“You’re so perfect, so perfect… You feel so perfect… You’re so warm and soft and I… I want to eat you whole…”

Your response was in the pooling tears and the nodding and the slack jaw. The begging, “Please. Please.”

“I love you. I love you. I love you.” It was all it took. Your orgasm exploded moments before his. Eddie’s thrusting getting harder and faster for the few seconds he took to follow you. He had to grind his teeth together to stop himself from ripping into your neck.

You kept your eyes closed, not aware of your surroundings. When you felt Eddie’s arms slide beneath you, you smiled and hummed. He carried you to your new bed, cleaning your skin with a warm washcloth before curling himself in behind you.

With the last of your day’s energy, you tangled your fingers through his, falling asleep happily.

As Eddie listened to your breathing find its mellow night rhythm, he saw a vision of you in his mind. Hands full of flowers and foliage. A coven of audience. Glorious and beaming. 

End Note: I made a small Pinterest board with inspo for their house - click here to view.

I hope you are all as well as any of us can be at a time like this. I hope this story continues to provide comfort, escapism, and fuel for daydreams. xo Rhi

Fic Taglist:  @paranoidmunson  @idkidknemore @paprikaquinn @stardustworlds @loz-brooke @wyverntatty @vintagehellfire @dark-academia-slut @scarletwitchwhore @becks1002 @mrsdollardog @heyndrix @luceneraium @rosaline-black @devilinthepalemoonlite @goldencherriess @iamwhisperingstars @wiltedwonderland @blueywrites @breezybeesposts @jadehowlettthewolf @spikesvamp79 @foreveranexpatsposts @tortoiseshellspells @wingedpeachjudgegiant @stardustmunson @live-love-be-unique @fangirling-4-ever @reanimated-alice @b-irock @gh0stlybunnie @myown-worstenemy-2003 @woozzz @cyberxlust @hiscrimsonangel @buckysbarne @m00nlight101 @word-wytch @spicysix @briasnow-blog @goth-cowgirl-03 @moviefreak1205 @pastel-pillows

All Eddie Taglist: @solomons-finest-rum @ruinedbythehobbit @sweetpeapod @thorfemmes  @corrodedhawkins @grungegrrrl @lilzabob  @averagemisfit03 @ches-86 @ilovecupcakesandtea @onehotgreasymechanic @hazydespair @mel-the-fangirl @eddies-hid3out @siren-lungs @aheadfullofsteverogers @hiscrimsonangel @dashingdeb16 @cultish-corner

[valeskawhore]

“Y/n Dracula?”

PART TWO!!!!

Word(s): 1.3k

Character(s)/parings: Wednesday x Fem! Vampire! Reader! (GirlxGirl)

Series/show(?): series— 2/??

*~*~*~*~*

Dark, creepy, and dead silent. Those are the words I would use to describe Nevermore. The weatherman wasn’t kidding when he explained that there was barely any sun in Jericho, vermont. It was like autumn all year round.

Everything that caught my eye was like copy and paste. It’s like the town was under some spell or trance that caused them all to be depressed at the same time. Not one smile on our way here, no one stopped to wave or say hello like usual when they saw a fancy car drive by.

They glared, as if they were offended by newcomers.

A town with this small of a population— it was to be expected that they didn’t easily accept newcomers, the town had quite the interesting history of banning outcasts.

Alec tried making small conversation here and there but gave up halfway through when it finally sunk in his mind that I was making no attempts to answer him or even care about what he had to say.

I felt a guilt bubble in my stomach, he didn’t deserve my wrath but it was the only thing on my mind so I just did my best to ignore him without trying to lash out. It wouldn't help my situation anyways. Either way, I'm going to this ridiculous school and there's nothing I can do about it.

Two things caught my eye,

One was an old antique shop, and the other was a fairly busy cafe on the corner of a T-section. It had fairly good business, something they were selling must have been good enough if it was still up and running. Though, by the looks of it, we’ll see how long that’ll even last.

I like shity cafe music… Maybe that’ll be something to do when I finally get permission to go into town.

*~*~*~*

“Hmm, Nevermore doesn't usually accept newcomers this late into the semester.” Principal Weems adjusted her glasses, skimming through my paperwork. “You’d have to do some extra classes in order to catch up on credits.”

“I don’t mind the work, that won't be a problem.” I added in.

“Well… Miss Edith, given your 4.0 GPA, that doesn't surprise me. You haven't failed a grade, never missed a day of school, your IQ level is above a 150– which is more than intelligent enough. “ she smiled, setting the paperwork to the side and giving me her full attention. “Besides,” she smiled once more, “Who am i? To turn down the one and only– Count Dracula’s only living heir. I'm surprised he enrolled you as late as he did.”

I kept my posture straight, crossing one leg over the other. “He is something.”

She laughed, “I would expect nothing less from a Dracula.”

I let out a breath of relief, smiling slightly. Her blue eyes scanned my figure, looking me up and down as if judging me right then and there. If I wasn't as sharp as I was– I'd probably say something dark was swirling around in her eyes as she smiled at me. Something felt off about this woman, I just couldn't put my finger on it just yet.

Finally, she let out the question she’d been holding in,

“You are aware of how to control yourself around others, correct? Especially normies??” she asked, “Because as you and I both know sweetie, being dracula means you’re a lot more… Different from others.”

‘Ah… that’s what she wanted to ask.’

“What all can you do exactly? Miss y/n?”

I dropped my head, suddenly feeling ashamed. She’s right, I am different. And not because I am a half-blood but because, unlike other vampires who can take medication to control themselves– I was a problem.

I was stronger than others, faster, and I craved actual blood. I couldn’t be out in the sunlight for too long on actual days when the sun was finally out.

I could glamor people to get what I wanted but in-order for that to work, I needed to be superior to them in power. In my case, that wasn’t a problem. I haven’t met someone I couldn't glamor… yet.

Every second that passed by, I felt more and more like I was being judged. She expected an answer while staring at me so intently, I thought she was going to burn holes in my skull.

I finally gave her one,

“I.. have my own personal supplies on things I need. As for power, I can't be out in the sunlight without my ring for too long, but besides that– pretty much the same for other vampires. I'm able to keep human food down long enough for it to digest, but that still doesn't stop the urges.”

She stared for a long time, scanning my face for any traces to which I'd be lying.

After a few moments, she smiled, feeling satisfied with my lie. “That’s perfect, I trust you can manage your own supplies correct?”

I nodded.

*~*~*~*~*

“Welcome to Aurora Hall! We are so excited to finally have someone new joining us!” The young girl buzzed with excitement, damn-near shaking in her boots while she held the door open.

“I’m your new roommate! My name is Abigail but my friends call me Abi! We’re friends right!? Since we’re roommates!? That definitely automatically makes us—”

“Woahhhhh honeypie, I understand you are very excited– but let’s give Edith sometime to settle in, hm?” My dorm mother explained. Marylin? I believe her name was.

Very nice women.

I smiled nervously, not really knowing what else to do. Abigail was definitely someone I'd have trouble getting along with, I realize I might have to set boundaries if I'm going to make this work.

Shrugging everything off, I picked my suitcases up from the ground and gently carried them into the room.

It was huge. The room was already divided into two separate halves and it was already obvious which one was Abigails. She specializes in terrakinesis– she had a green thumb alright, abi could make anything grow.

Her side of the room was filled with green and black vines growing up the walls with flowers blooming around every corner. They spread everywhere around her side of the room. Abi also had dozens of small plants littered around her room, growing all types of flowers– And believe me when I say, Abigail absolutely adored flowers.

DVD players and radios stacked up on one side of the room, next to her bed. Almost working as a nightstand without the drawers. She had an electric guitar also, with a microphone setup with speakers.

Maybe this chick wasn't so bad afterall.

The other side of the room, my side– was as to be expected. A queen sized mattress with a large frame reaching the ceiling sat in the corner neatly.

Definitely compliments from my father– added with two wide dark burgundy dressers to match. Everything else was completely barren, waiting and ready for me to unpack.

I gave a small smile, turning back to my dorm mother when she called my name.

“Here,” She smiled at me, holding a flower pot out. “I try to match just the right flower to all of my girls. This one is a—”

I cut her off, “Wolfsbane. Which is highly dangerous.. Also more commonly associated with werewolves, witches……. and even—”

“That's right, Vampires…I found it fitting for the one and only heir to the Dracula legacy.” She smiled widely.

I stared at her, holding the flower.

After a moment, I smiled as widely as she did, my fangs releasing from the roof of my mouth. She was taken back by how quickly they ejected,

“Thank you,” I laughed, “How very stereotypical of you.”

Marylin struggled to smile, taking a few steps back before making her way to the doorway. “Well uh,” she coughed, raising her hand to her mouth nervously, “Let me know if I can do anything for you girls.” She excited the room quickly after, shutting the door with a loud click.

I Laughed almost immediately, retracting my fangs. A skill only a dracula ascendent could master. We could almost pass off as a normie if it wasn’t for the restricted sunlight, the pasty white skin, dark red rimmed eyes and the two sets of retractable fangs.

I began to unpack my suitcases, Abigail offered to assist but I shot her down and did my best to be polite about it. Having a ‘bright’ ‘innocent’ girl like herself put away packaged bags of blood among other things was too much of a headache to have to deal with. She understood, and offered to give me space and time to unload everything.

I thanked her, nodding my head. “I’ll be faster unpacking alone.'' I threw in, not wanting to sound like an asshole. “Give me a few minutes and I'll let you assist me in grabbing my uniform and schedule.”

Abigail almost jumped out of her skin at the opportunity. “Yes!!! iI would love it too! Of course, no problem– I'll be down the hallway when you're ready!”

As soon as she left the room, I sighed.

“Father…what have you gotten me into now..?”

[invidiia]

you said i could do it so here i am 😇

i was thinking about this the other day—what if verlaines darling started learning french in secret while they were held captive? like they wanted to understand him better so they just found their old phone that they thought that verlaine discarded and they just downloaded an app to learn french😭

anyways that’s all LMAODH

français en secret - yan!paul verlaine x reader

❐ - yandere!verlaine (bsd) x reader

note ; HII I LOVE THIS REQUEST?! ALSO THANK YOU GUYS FOR 150+ FOLLOWERS ILY ALL!! i do not know french, so if anyone would correct me anything i put in this, i would absolutely appreciate it!! EDIT: CREDIT TO @eroqista FOR HE,PING ME WITH THE FRENCH PART BEAUSE WBFKEF

prompt ; after being stuck with the man for who knows how long, verlaine's darling began to learn french in secret.

warnings ; kidnapping, yandere/obsessive themes, gender neutral!reader,

it took a good while to find your old phone. you thought verlaine threw almost everything of yours out!

the screen was slightly damaged, a few cracks adorning the glass, but it was still slightly usable. verlaine had left the house again, after throwing you into the basement for whatever reason. perhaps he forgot about the boxes with your old belongings in them, boxes that he had been meaning to burn.

but the boxes weren't burned to ashes, and instead, they sat in the basement while dust collected. in another box was an old pen that had surprisingly not dried out, and a notebook.

you rarely saw verlaine visibly angry - but you could always tell when he was, after months of living with him, you learned to know his emotions. he semi-trusted you, but not enough to tell you exactly how he feels, other than that he loved you.

one thing you noticed more than often when verlaine was upset was that he would speak french - his native language. he would either be upset, talking to a colleague or friend, or just to himself, but you understood none of it.

maybe a good way to understand him more would be to understand what he was saying. that, or you could also try to escape with your new understanding of his words. maybe he would say over the phone how long he would be gone, and how far he was going, so you could create a window of time for your escape.

or you could simply learn the language and surprise him after getting good enough, and tell him the sweetest things exactly how he doesn't expect it.

It wasn't perfect.

Only three-four months of nonstop learning whenever you had time alone couldn't get you close to perfect. Even the basics weren't easy; it was very difficult. And it wasn't like you were hiding your learning well, either. Verlaine knew you spent an awful lot of time in the basement, so he often came down to check on you, but he'd just see you curled up in the corner with a notebook in hand, and when he looked at the paper, it was just cutesy drawings of flowers and bees and everything cute you could think of.

You had time to put the phone away and hide it since you could hear the door open, since you still weren't technically allowed to have that phone, even if you were just using it to learn another language.

(now, imagine the reader purposely trying to get put in the basement because they don't want to break their daily streak and get hunted by the duolingo bird. do your french lessons, Y/N.)

It took time, but eventually you were able to understand and make basic conversation.. which also meant you could listen in on phone calls he made while speaking in French only.

This could go two ways depending on your actions.

"You started learning French?" Verlaine looked almost impatient, looking at you while he waiting for an answer. You hadn't thought this through. How were you planning to explain to him exactly how? "I picked up on some of yours." You replied innocently, looking back down at your feet to alleviate the stress of the highly likely possibility that he doesn't believe your lie. "You just magically understood French from listening? What, did I leave a dictionary down there?" Verlaine stood up from his chair, sauntering behind you with a small smile on his face while you nodded. He wasn't smiling softly. "Good job." He placed a hand on your shoulder and turned to leave the room. It was that easy? He believed you like that?

But you should have known he didn't actually believe you. Verlaine was no idiot, it shouldn't be a surprise when you were waken up in the morning in the basement, with all of the boxes containing your old belongings gone.

The basement door was locked tightly, and the basement was now entirely empty. There was a note on the door, and attached with a paper clip, was one photo. There the boxes were - set ablaze and sat in front of a camera. The note read,

"J'ai trouvé ton téléphone, chéri. Tu vois les photos ? J'ai mis le feu aux boîtes. Ton vieux téléphone est dans l'une d'elles. Vraiment, bon travail, d'apprendre le français et de me le cacher. Tu aurais pu demander, j'aime passer du temps avec toi. Je te dirais bien "bonne chance pour la prochaine fois", mais je ne pense pas qu'il y aura une prochaine fois. Je t'aime."

[lavareview]

x - x - x

MODEL: MK1 ASTRO LAMP

Brand: Crestworth

Introduced: 1964

Discontinued: 1965

Base and cap colors: brass

Wax colors: red, yellow, orange, green

Fluid colors: pink, yellow, clear, green, blue

Size: height 16 1/2“, base 5 1/4”

The Astro Lamp MK1 model was one of the very first lava lamps commercialized, sold by Crestworth (later renamed Mathmos) – only preceeded by the very first Astro Lamp, unofficially referred to as the MK0, which is rare enough to render information and pictures quite hard to dig up. I wanted to start off these reviews with as early a lamp as I could, so the MK1 seemed the best pick.

The Astro model has known many iterations since its 1963 introduction, and a modern Astro model is still sold today by Mathmos. However, for the purposes of cataloguing and reviewing, I will consider each generation of the Astro as a separate model, while acknowledging that the differences between generations may be so specific as to appear nonexistent (and I’m not good enough at recognizing them myself to be sure which generation I’m looking at!).

The Astro MK1 is the platonic ideal of the lava lamp; it’s probably more or less what you picture when you think of the words “lava lamp”, and I expect it always will be.

It features the traditional hourglass-shaped base, though in these early models the base is actually made up of two parts: two copper-colored cones which slide into one another, with the top cone containing the light bulb, and the power cable under it running through the bottom cone (see patent diagram below). In later lava lamps, the base would become a single piece.

The Astro is topped by a matching copper cap, which is notably shorter than what is seen in later lava lamp models. As with other lava lamps, the cap serves to hide the unsightly closure at the top of the glass globe.

Though the original Astro Lamp only offered a copper base/cap, it did come in a variety of wax and fluid colors.

A number of early Astro Lamps and other models of the same era can be found second-hand, usually selling for $150 to $300. The modern Astro Lamp, sold by Mathmos, retails for $130.

It was pretty difficult to figure out how much the Astro Lamp originally cost - I consulted ads and catalogs in both English and French as well as searched lava lamp websites and forums and found no mention of its price anywhere. I did find early on a catalog that listed under the Astro "£7-19-6", but was dumbfounded: what did the different numbers mean? Was it suggested price, highest retail price and lowest? Was it different international prices? It took me a while to figure out that the answer was much simpler (UK readers probably would've seen it immediately): before 1971, British prices were written in pounds, shillings and pence. The original Astro Lamp therefore sold for 7 pounds, 19 shillings and 6 pence, or £7.98 in decimal.

MY REVIEW:

How to review the Astro? It’s the first of its kind (excepting Donald Dunnet’s prototypes), so it would seem unfair to compare it to later lamps. At the same time, the Astro is so ubiquitous that it eclipses all competition in the collective imagination of the lava lamp. From Mathmos and Lava Lite’s popular models to the cheap, off-brand lava lamps you may find online or sold in supermarkets, the shape of the Astro remains ever-present – the details of size, make, proportions and colors may change, but the soul of the original Astro lives on in them nonetheless. I may have my opinions on it – but ultimately, in the minds of generations, the Astro will always be a ten out of ten.

SILHOUETTE: 10/10

As a result of the above, I find it impossible to give the Astro less than a perfect score on its silhouette. In another world, another timeline, where the Astro is of a different shape, so too would the entire world of lava lamps be changed in its image. It’s not my favorite silhouette – I’m not sure it’s even in my top three – but it is the silhouette.

DETAILS: 8/10

Here’s where I find some room for nitpicking. There’s a reason modern reimaginings of the Astro, official or off-brand, aren’t identical to the original. The two-part base is a major minus: the two separate cones make for an impractical and less portable object. I also find the shorter, stout cap less pleasant to the eye than its taller successors. Still, there’s little to pick apart here: the Astro is a simple, sleek, effective design. Though it is iconic to the 60s and 70s, I find its silhouette to be timeless.

COLORWAYS: 9/10

Modern lava lamp models come with such a variety of colorways that, in comparison, the Astro’s single base/cap color, its five fluid colors, and four wax colors seem limited. Still, these options are enough to create a number of pleasant colorways. Advertisement for the Astro describes it as “perfect anywhere” and “designed to suit any mood, any decor”. I’m tempted to agree: though I appreciate the breadth of color choices now available, the Astro’s offerings are quite satisfying. It helps that most of my favorite colors are included.

POWER: 10/10

What more can I say on the topic of the Astro’s longevity and icon status? This isn’t just a powerful lava lamp, it’s the powerful lava lamp. It only remains at a ten out of ten because I’m opposed to grading higher than the scale.

MY FINAL LAVA SCORE: 9.25/10

Is my information wrong? Did I miss a detail? Do you have a better picture of this model? Is there another model you’d like me to look into? Please send me an ask or submit relevant pictures!

[theoxgrant]

(  archie renaux,  cis man,  he/him,  muse  30  )  was  that  THEODORE ‘THEO’GRANT i  saw  heading  towards  the  water?  you  know  the  TWENTY-FIVE  year  old  from  MOONLIGHT BEACH?  can  you  believe  they've  only  lived  in  manoa  bay  for  HIS ENTIRE LIFE,  it  seems  like  so  much  longer.  last  i  checked  they  were  known  around  town  as  the THE PARADOX because  of  their  tendency  to  be  ADAPTIVE  and  ENIGMATIC,  but  what  else  did  you  expect  from  a LIBRA who  reminds  you  of  A GLASS OF WINE PAIRED WITH A SALAD, A CLASSIC NAVY SUIT WITH COLOURFUL SOCKS, HAVING MULTIPLE INTERESTS AT ONCE BUT BARELY COMMITTING TO ONE AND SNEAKING INTO PLACES WHEN THE REST OF THE WORLD IS ASLEEP   …  since  hayden's  disappearance  they  have  been  happily  working  as  a LAWYER  at HIS DAD’S FIRM,  but  that's  all  about  to  change  because  the  eye  HAS set  their  sights  on  exposing  all  of  their  lies,  as  well  as  [REDACTED].  i  really  hope  they  don't  incriminate  themself.

trigger(s): parental neglect

Stats:

Name: Theodore Nikhil Grant

Nickname: Theo

Age: 26

Birthday: September 23, 1997  (☼ libra,  ☽ cancer,  ↗ virgo )

Gender/Pronouns: cis man; he/him

Sexuality: Doesn't do labels

Hometown: Manoa Bay, Hawaii

Occupation: Lawyer (Primary)

Faceclaim: Archie Renaux

Full Bio will be on his page soon ... hopefully.

Background:

Theodore Nikhil Grant was born on September 23, 1997 to Yasmeen and Calvin Grant. His mother is the daughter of a business tycoon, think Michael Bloomberg type. His father's family has run the same firm for 2 generations now with Theo expected to be the next to take over, not that he thinks he has the focus for it.

While Theo and his family used to live in Lanikai Cove, his parents decided to move to a family owned property in Moonlight Beach, a decision that Theo wasn't totally onboard with because he loved the private access to Lanikai Beach.

He became accustomed to Moonlight Beach and has learned to just go to the beach during off peak hours, usually he'll find some surfers there but no one else is really there to bug him. Plus, he actually enjoys the Boardwalk, as touristy as that can be.

Theo wasn't the most conventional kid and a few of his quirks led to him being bullied, a series of events that make him still feel a bit inferior.

As he got older, he started working out and he grew into his features, making him more conventionally attractive and less likely to get picked on. It does also help when you go from a measly 5'3 and 70 lbs to 6'1 and 150 lbs.

He contemplated getting into writing as it was something he spent years hyper-focused on but couldn't exactly go against the family legacy. He writes on the side when he finds himself inspired and his dad's firm often asks him to write the briefs because of the way he puts them together.

He wasn't necessarily close with either of his parents but it wasn't like they were mean to him or anything, just didn't always notice him, despite him being their only child.

This didn't make Theo unhappy, he just felt indifferent. It made it easier for him to fly under the surface and do his own thing, he almost hated it when he got older because that's when his parents began to fully pay attention to him.

His parents travelled a lot for work, high profile cases always took his dad to the mainland and his mother's work involved frequent travel across the world, where she could be gone for a few months at a time. Effectively, he was raised by nannies or neighbours. The occasional relative would take him in for a bit, mainly out of pity but also out of some twisted sense of obligation.

He tried to put everything into perspective as he got older. His parents jobs and their constant travel made it possible for Theo to have access to all the best things while also having more freedom than most kids his age. Being bullied really just gave him a thicker skin as he got older and pushed him to work on himself. One might think this is neglecting his own feelings but not Theo, no, he believes this is a logical way of thinking.

Prior to Hayden's disappearance, he would say that they had a decent relationship. Maybe not always super close but close enough for Theo to feel comfortable having long conversations with.

Personality:

Theo's mind is always working - he's very curious and when his interest is peaked, very little can pull his attention.

He keeps his cards close to his chest. The last time he was so vulnerable and open to a deep conversation, the person went missing and it just makes Theo feel like if he were to open up to someone or have a deep conversation, they could be gone the next minute.

He can be very high energy, which at times means he can't sit still but there are moments where he can go days without wanting to move a muscle and just be super relaxed.

It's hard to see who Theo really is because to some degree, he is somehow both the versions of himself that the people in Manoa Bay know him as, which is what really makes people both love and misunderstand him.

He craves the answers to everything and it's difficult when he doesn't get them. He can't do unexplained events, it drives him a bit mad.

Headcanons:

His curious nature makes him the type to spend hours on end reading Wikipedia pages and he'll jump from one topic to another if it intrigues him while reading the initial page. He also donates to Wikipedia because he doesn't want to lose it.

He'll try and sneak onto the Lanikai Beach as often as possible but he's definitely been caught on a few occasions, his family ties are what keep him out of trouble.

He volunteers at an immigration center (offers legal advice) and an animal shelter a few times a week, usually under the radar to avoid pissing off his parents.

He's ironically a really good swimmer despite sometimes having two left feet.

He's definitely faked an accent to impress someone before (English probably).

He really does wear nice suits with the most strange patterned socks or ties (if he's in office and not in a courtroom).

He keeps a journal - the only place he'll be at his most vulnerable. He never really spoke to a therapist after Hayden, he just wrote it out.

Probably some other weird stuff.

Listen, my brain stopped working but this is a rough idea of Theo. Feel free to swing my way and we can definitely plot. Looking forward to writing with all of you!

[porkcracker]

Au-dventcalendar

"Advent Advent mein Soulmate brennt"

A Transformers Soulmate Adventcalendar

Day 14

Ship: Ultra Magnus x Swerve

AUs: Agestop

One stops aging the moment they meet their soulmate, usually a lack of change that gets noticed quickly. However, in the craziness of their quest neither of them had noticed at first. After the Lost Light disbanded the search now starts.

No one had noticed at first. Not even they themselves. It was only after they had returned to Cybertron and the Lost Light had been dismantled that Ultra Magnus noticed the change—or rather, noticed no change. At first, he hadn't really realized what it meant, but as he brought it up with Ratchet, he suddenly was faced with the knowledge that he had met his soulmate and had no clue who it was.

For several vorns, Ultras Magnus debated with himself about whether he should go search for them or not before coming to the decision to search. Deep inside his soul, he could not deny a slight yearning for someone to share his life with. Once he had decided to search, he began to look for possible candidates.

The first requirement was that they had to have been a member of the Lost Light at some point, which already reduced his list of possible bots to a potential list of 200 bots. The next requirement was that they had survived the quest, which reduces the list to around 150 bots, if not less. The last category were bots who had already found their soulmates or were in relationships. This took a bit of research, but the result made it worth it. From a start list of over 200 bots, there are now around 78 left. Looking at the list of candidates, he prepared himself for more in-person research.

After the Lost Light had been dismantled, Swerve had started a new bar in a semi-popular spot, and while he wasn't particularly successful, it was enough to allow him to live in a little apartment over the bar. To his disappointment, he no longer had contact with most of the once-members of the Lost Light, the other minibots and their conjuxes being the only ones, as well as Whirl and Rung. He wished he would have contact with some others still as well, but alas, he could understand that they just had more important things to do. And for some, he just didn't have the guts to contact them.

Really, the only person that counted towards the latter was Ultra Magnus. Swerve simply assumed the mech had more important things to do and a busy schedule. That, combined with the fact the mech had always seemed to dislike him, or at least the amount of noise and chaos following him, made him wary of contacting the other mech. Ignoring all that, he didn't have his contact anyways.

This, of course, led to a very big shock at the start of the night cycle. Swerve was polishing a glass as he heard the door open and automatically started his standard greeting. "Welcome to Swerves; what can I do- Ultra Magnus, sir? I didn't expect to see you here. How are you? What can I do for you? It's been a while; I really didn't expect to see you in my bar. You never really liked my bar on the Lost Light, so you know. Sorry, I'm rambling again; I didn't get out of the habit and probably never will. I'll stop now." Swerve could feel the energon rush into his faceplate the longer he talked, or rather rambled on.

Ultra Magnus hadn't expected Swerve to have changed much since their departure, but to see him so completely and utterly the same was somehow quite comforting. Then he mentally stopped and ran the thought through his head again. Swerve was indeed exactly like he had been at the start of the quest, but not only personality-wise but appearance-wise. The list, holding only three names not crossed off at this point, sat heavy in his subspace as the realization formed in his processor. "Good evening, Swerve; it is nice to see you're still yourself. I'm actually looking for something very important, and I thought you may be able to help me," he replied as he stepped up towards the bar, stopping in front of it.

Looking at Swerve closer, he noticed the faint blush on the minibot's faceplate, and previously pushed-down and forgotten feelings reared their heads again. The urge to pick the cute minibot up or just cuddle him hit the bigger mech for the first time in a long time again. "Oooh, of course I'll help with whatever I can. What are you looking for? Is it something bar-related?" The questions pulled him from his thoughts and returned his attention to Swerve.

"It isn't. I was actually looking for my soulmate. The blunt statement seemed to throw Swerve off a little, but Ultra Magnus could see his processor at work and the moment Swerve came to the same conclusion as he had. The blue tint of his cheeks darkened, and he opened and closed his mouth several times before pointing at himself and asking faintly, "Me?"

"If you would be willing, I'd like to take you out sometimes."

[satocidal]

Loved it? Oh, God, you have no idea how much I loved it!

Like, it was softer than I expected and I adored it (I guess I'm too used to my old usual angst coming from my own fingers lmao) and I adored how it felt so realistic honestly like I could totally see Suguru liking someone bold and lively and seemingly almost opposite of himself! (after all, he is Satoru's best friend, lol(

As for Haunting Adeline, it's good (got to like page 150 or so out of almost 600) but I adore so much the tension and how Zade is both a manipulator but deeply obsessive with Addie, ngl

(Can one tell I'm deeply into Alpha/Omega? No? Should I make it clear with a long, detailed description?😅)

I will have to read that Cult!Geto. A lil bit mean, yummy 😋 (especially if he's mean with his d and hand wrapped around my throat—)

As for my friend, she's amazing, but going through a lot lately. Family stress + a relative being unhealthy + first year of Uni knocking+ mental illness is never a nice combo so I do get her but it's like the fifth day and i don't worried as fuck

Did I miss something? 🤔

Oh! The 13 and 15 year difference between us is not that bad considering they're rlly good kids and I love them dearly, ngl. But it does get exhausting. Especially considering I was in a very stressful situation myself not too long ago and still live in it a little (Uni sucks the will from my soul sometimes). Their love does make it worth tho (and the free food and coffee lmao)

Also, it's kinda payment in my mind for how much my sis is helping me rn even tho she'd never hold it over my head (I need new glasses. And while I had the money to spend on said glasses, I had 0 for food and cigs and she's helping me on this one)

But yes, I agree Hacker!Suguru is just ughh. Like, a lil (maybe more) obsessed, absolutely the type to give you the chills, surely could and has killed some really nasty dudes such as traffickers…yeah

Never getting over Suguru being big and strong and intimidating even tho he's such a kind soul, genuinely. I love him dearly (he looks very hot wiping someone else's blood from his skin, sorry not sorry)

~🦊

I love how long this is— and tbh, i knew what I was writing wasn’t like, what you exactly asked for but I was sort of using that idea in a Satoru fic and 😭 yes. Because angst in fact is>>>> and tbh why I see him going for someone like that is because it probably makes him learn a lot, like shows perspectives yk?

Personally I’m not into yandere or omega/alpha dynamics but the maybe I’ve just not delved into the right stuff — altho I think I won’t be into it, I feel like I should try reading on it more to get a good idea on it. As in, it helps writing but be my guest and explain as much as you’d like lmao

I won’t spoil much and it’s not any particular plot lmao I just initially wanted to write smut but then idk and it’s like cult geto and you’re a non-sorcerer but at the same time he’s sort of in love with you (classic and obviously). I don’t expect much interaction on it with people and I’m so afraid because many people (like yk the bigger and more popular fandom writers) have already done this idea so it is overdone slightly? But I just wanted a go at it.

That’s good for you for sure because I personally could never💀 I just really don’t at all like kids and I do hope things get better for you soon.

And I just saw this feel like this hacker guy and this girl (idk what movie’s edit it was but istg that’s my inspo now) though I do apologise because it may take me a day or two (a week?) to deliver because I got this test coming up. And suguru who can manhandle you>>> wait though- suguru wiping your blood (just as an idea sorry if you’re not into that!)

[made0ftime0u0]

I think this is a really important thing to talk about - i posted this in the comments but im also gonna write it here

Im a CNA i do this for a living.

If you are sitting down and have not just exerted yourself, the average human range is 120/80 to 90/60. Anything within those two values is considered an average blood pressure.

Taking one’s blood pressure is a finicky thing, where even having your legs crossed matters. If you’re lying down, expect it to be lower on that range, if you just took a run, it’s gonna be higher. But your resting BP Should return back within that average.

If you’re nervous about your BP, abnormal values are considered worse the further away they are from those norms. a value like 125/80 isnt really too strange. Once you get to your systolic (the top number) going into the range of 140, 150, it begins to become an issue.

You want to look to make sure your resting diastolic (bottom number) doesn’t go over 110, and doesn’t go below 50.

If your resting BP is slightly outside of those average ranges (120/80 - 90/60) and you feel fine, thats fine. If you don’t feel good: dizzy, shortness of breath, tightness in your chest, ect - drink a tall glass of water and talk to a Doctor.

TL;DR: average sitting, resting BP range is 120/10 to 90/60. Having a number slightly out of this range is probably fine, but if you do, keep an eye out for other symptoms.

[drshawnkeller]

Why Healthy Living Is Key to Longevity and Happiness: Expert Tips Inside

Living a long and fulfilling life is a universal desire, and the path to achieving it lies in healthy living. Scientific studies and expert insights continually emphasize the link between a healthy lifestyle and increased longevity and happiness. In this article, we will explore how prioritizing health can enhance life expectancy and well-being while providing actionable tips to incorporate into your daily routine.

Understanding the Connection Between Health and Longevity

The connection between health and longevity is grounded in science. Researchers have found that factors such as balanced nutrition, regular physical activity, and stress management significantly impact how long and how well we live. Chronic illnesses like heart disease, diabetes, and hypertension are often preventable through healthy living choices.

Nutrition plays a particularly crucial role in longevity. Diets rich in fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains provide essential nutrients that protect against age-related illnesses. For instance, the Mediterranean diet, known for its emphasis on fresh produce and healthy fats, has been linked to reduced mortality rates and a lower risk of chronic diseases.

Experts also highlight the role of regular physical activity. Exercise improves cardiovascular health, strengthens muscles and bones, and enhances mental health. Combined with a nutritious diet, physical activity creates a powerful synergy for a long and vibrant life.

Building a Strong Foundation: Nutrition and Hydration

Good nutrition is fundamental to healthy living. A balanced diet provides the body with the fuel it needs to function optimally. Prioritizing whole foods over processed options reduces the risk of obesity and chronic illnesses. Incorporating antioxidant-rich foods, such as berries, nuts, and leafy greens, can help combat oxidative stress, a factor associated with aging.

Hydration is equally important. Water regulates body temperature, supports digestion, and maintains cellular health. Experts recommend drinking at least eight glasses of water daily, but individual needs may vary based on activity level and climate. Staying hydrated also improves energy levels and supports cognitive function, contributing to a happier and more productive life.

For those looking to optimize their nutrition, consulting a registered dietitian can provide personalized guidance tailored to unique dietary needs and health goals.

The Role of Mental Health in Achieving Happiness and Longevity

Mental health is a critical yet often overlooked aspect of healthy living. Chronic stress, anxiety, and depression not only affect emotional well-being but also contribute to physical health problems such as weakened immunity and cardiovascular issues.

Mindfulness and meditation are powerful tools for managing stress and promoting mental clarity. Studies have shown that regular meditation can reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression while improving focus and emotional resilience. Incorporating practices such as yoga, journaling, or spending time in nature can also support mental health.

Social connections play a pivotal role in mental well-being. Building and maintaining solid relationships with family and friends fosters a sense of belonging and purpose, which is crucial for happiness. Engaging in community activities or volunteering can further enhance social bonds and reduce feelings of isolation.

Physical Activity: The Pillar of a Healthy Lifestyle

Exercise is a cornerstone of healthy living. Its benefits extend beyond physical health; it also boosts mood, enhances cognitive function, and increases energy levels. Experts recommend at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic activity, such as brisk walking or cycling, each week, along with muscle-strengthening exercises.

Finding an activity you enjoy is vital to maintaining a consistent routine. Whether it’s dancing, hiking, swimming, or practicing yoga, the goal is to stay active and have fun while doing it. Incorporating variety into your fitness routine not only prevents boredom but also ensures that different muscle groups are targeted.

For those with busy schedules, even short bouts of activity, such as taking the stairs or doing quick home workouts, can make a difference. Remember, consistency is more important than intensity when it comes to reaping the long-term benefits of exercise.

Practical Tips for a Balanced, Healthy Life

Incorporating healthy habits into daily life doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Start by setting achievable goals and gradually building on them. Here are some expert tips to help you get started:

Meal Prep for Success: Preparing meals in advance ensures you have healthy options readily available, reducing the temptation to opt for less nutritious convenience foods.

Prioritize Sleep: Aim for 7-9 hours of quality sleep each night to support physical recovery and mental health.

Practice Gratitude: Taking time each day to reflect on things you’re grateful for can shift your mindset toward positivity and reduce stress.

Limit Screen Time: Too much screen time, especially before bed, can disrupt sleep and contribute to sedentary behavior. Set boundaries to create a healthier balance.

Schedule Regular Check-Ups: Preventative healthcare, such as routine physical exams and screenings, helps detect potential health issues early, increasing the chances of effective treatment.

By incorporating these simple yet impactful practices, you can create a lifestyle that supports both longevity and happiness.

Healthy living is more than just a trend; it is the foundation of a long, happy, and fulfilling life. By prioritizing nutrition, physical activity, mental well-being, and preventive care, you can unlock the key to improved longevity and overall happiness. Start small, stay consistent, and remember that every positive change you make contributes to a healthier future. With expert tips and a commitment to wellness, you can embrace a vibrant life filled with energy, purpose, and joy.

[credenceresearchdotblog]

The Wearable Technology Market is expected to grow significantly from USD 128,075 million in 2024 to USD 328,611.56 million by 2032, at a CAGR of 12.50%. Wearable technology has evolved from a niche trend into a mainstream consumer market, revolutionizing the way people interact with technology in their daily lives. Whether it's smartwatches, fitness trackers, or augmented reality glasses, wearable devices have become integral to health, communication, and entertainment. The wearable technology market is experiencing rapid growth, fueled by advancements in sensors, battery life, connectivity, and artificial intelligence (AI).

Browse the full report at https://www.credenceresearch.com/report/wearable-technology-market

Market Overview

As of 2023, the global wearable technology market was valued at over **$60 billion**, with projections estimating the market could reach **$150 billion by 2028**, growing at a compound annual growth rate (CAGR) of over 16%. The market encompasses a range of products including smartwatches, fitness bands, smart glasses, healthcare monitors, and even smart clothing. These devices are used for a variety of applications, including fitness tracking, healthcare monitoring, communication, and virtual assistance.

Key Drivers of Growth

Several factors are contributing to the robust growth of wearable technology:

1. Increased Health Awareness: With the growing emphasis on fitness and wellness, consumers are more inclined to use wearable devices for tracking their physical activity, heart rate, sleep patterns, and even blood oxygen levels. Devices like the Apple Watch, Fitbit, and Garmin are designed to monitor various health metrics and help users maintain a healthy lifestyle. This trend has accelerated since the COVID-19 pandemic, as more people sought tools to monitor their health and well-being.

2. Technological Advancements: Wearable technology has benefited immensely from innovations in hardware and software. The integration of AI, improved sensors, and enhanced connectivity (such as 5G) has allowed for more accurate and sophisticated tracking. For example, wearables can now detect arrhythmias, track menstrual cycles, and even assist in managing chronic conditions such as diabetes through glucose monitors.

3. Rising Popularity of IoT (Internet of Things): The proliferation of IoT devices has paved the way for wearable technology to become more interconnected. Many wearable devices can now sync seamlessly with smartphones, home appliances, and even automobiles, providing a holistic digital experience. Smartwatches, for instance, can control home lighting, track location, and make payments, making them a critical part of the connected ecosystem.

4. Shifting Work Culture: The rise of remote work and the need for digital collaboration have also pushed the demand for wearables. Devices like augmented reality (AR) glasses and smart headphones allow professionals to work efficiently from remote locations, giving them access to virtual workspaces and interactive tools.

Segmentation of the Market

The wearable technology market can be broadly categorized based on product types, applications, and regions.

1. Product Types: - Smartwatches: The most popular category, driven by the success of the Apple Watch and Samsung Galaxy Watch. These devices not only tell time but also serve as mini-smartphones, tracking health, managing calls, and displaying notifications. - Fitness Trackers: Companies like Fitbit and Xiaomi dominate this space, offering products focused on tracking physical activities, calorie consumption, and sleep quality. - Healthcare Devices: Wearables designed for medical purposes, such as continuous glucose monitors, are gaining traction in the healthcare sector. - Smart Clothing and AR/VR Devices: Although these are still emerging categories, products like Google Glass and smart jackets from Levi’s and Google have shown potential for future growth.

2. Applications: - Fitness and Health Monitoring: Wearables have been widely adopted for personal health management, especially for heart rate monitoring, sleep tracking, and exercise. - Medical Devices: Wearables like ECG monitors, glucose monitors, and hearing aids are becoming critical in healthcare, especially for chronic disease management. - Gaming and Entertainment: AR and VR headsets are gaining popularity, providing immersive experiences in gaming, virtual reality training, and entertainment. - Lifestyle and Communication: Smartwatches and smart glasses enable users to interact with digital content in new ways, from notifications and social media updates to GPS navigation.

Regional Insights

North America and Europe currently dominate the wearable technology market, accounting for a significant share of global sales. The presence of major players such as Apple, Google, and Fitbit, along with advanced technological infrastructure, has driven the growth in these regions. However, Asia-Pacific is emerging as a fast-growing market due to increasing consumer interest and a rapidly growing middle-class population, especially in countries like China, India, and Japan.

Challenges and Future Trends

Despite the tremendous growth, the wearable technology market faces several challenges:

- Data Privacy Concerns: As wearables collect sensitive health data, users are increasingly worried about how their data is stored, shared, and used by companies. - Battery Life Limitations: Many wearables still face issues with short battery life, which limits their functionality, especially for advanced health monitoring devices. - High Costs: Premium wearables like the Apple Watch or Google Glass can be prohibitively expensive, which may slow adoption in some regions.

Looking ahead, the market is expected to see continued innovation, with new products focusing on mental health monitoring, advanced medical diagnostics, and smart clothing**. As AI continues to advance, wearables will become more personalized and intelligent, providing deeper insights and making real-time decisions based on user data.

Key Player Analysis:

Apple Inc.

Fitbit (a Google company)

Garmin Ltd.

Samsung Electronics Co. Ltd.

Huawei Technologies Co. Ltd.

Xiaomi Corporation

Sony Corporation

Fossil Group, Inc.

Suunto (part of Amer Sports)

Polar Electro Oy

Segmentations:

By Product Type

Wrist Wear

Eye Wear

Foot Wear

Neck Wear

Body Wear

Head Wear

By Technology

Computing Technology

Display Technology

Networking Technology

Positioning Technology

Sensor Technology

By Application

Fitness and Wellness

Healthcare

Infotainment

Defence

Enterprise and Industrial

Others

By Region

North America

U.S.

Canada

Mexico

Europe

Germany

France

U.K.

Italy

Spain

Rest of Europe

Asia Pacific

China

Japan

India

South Korea

South-east Asia

Rest of Asia Pacific

Latin America

Brazil

Argentina

Rest of Latin America

Middle East & Africa

GCC Countries

South Africa

Rest of the Middle East and Africa

Browse the full report at https://www.credenceresearch.com/report/wearable-technology-market

About Us:

Credence Research is committed to employee well-being and productivity. Following the COVID-19 pandemic, we have implemented a permanent work-from-home policy for all employees.

Contact:

Credence Research

Please contact us at +91 6232 49 3207

Email: sales@credenceresearch.com

Website: www.credenceresearch.com

[evolvecolving]

Mexico Digital Nomad Visa - Temporary Residence Permit

A very popular digital nomad hotspot, Mexico has decided to take advantage of the opportunities provided by the increase in remote workers by offering a temporary residence permit, which effectively doubles as a Mexican digital nomad visa.

This digital nomad visa / temporary residence permit allows digital nomads to stay in Mexico for one to four years.

Tourist Visa vs Temporary Residence Permit for Mexico

Many people from all around the world can come to visit Mexico on a tourist visa for up to six months. This will not allow you to set up a Mexican bank account, but the longer-term temporary residence visa will.

Tourist visas can be issued for up to 180 days, and it is not unusual for people to leave Mexico and re-enter, being issued with a further 180 days on arrival at the Mexican border control. This can be helpful if you are still trying to decide whether to make a longer-term move to Mexico and want to explore some of the different cities and areas there.

One of the perks of the temporary residence or digital nomad visa is that after you have stayed in Mexico for four years, you will qualify to apply for permanent residence, so you are able to make the switch to living in Mexico permanently, if this is what you desire.

If you stay in Mexico for more than 183 days in any calendar year, you may be considered to be a “tax resident” in Mexico and be expected to pay tax on your worldwide income to the Mexican government.

Mexico has tax treaties with many countries so if you can prove that you are already a tax resident of another country, you may be exempt from “double taxation”. You should explore this with a tax lawyer or accountant, and it is not something to be taken lightly. No part of this blog post constitutes financial advice.

Qualifying for a Temporary Residence Permit

It is important to know that you must be outside Mexico when you apply for a temporary residence permit. You can make an appointment in advance at your local Mexican Consulate or Embassy. There are some documents that you are required to provide at the interview, so please be sure to take these with you when you attend.The documents are listed below:

A valid passport or other travel document with at least six months left to run on it.

The visa application form, completed in English or Spanish, with a “wet” signature on it.

Proof of income can take the form of bank statements and pay slips from your employer. You must prove income of $3,700 — $4,000 per month after tax or savings of up to $75,000 for over six months.

This is to ensure that you have enough money so that you are not tempted to try to take on work that a Mexican citizen can do while you are there.

You will also need a passport-sized photo taken against a white background while not wearing glasses. This is to allow for the creation of your temporary residence permit.

How Long Does it Take and How Much Does it Cost?

It can take at least a few weeks after the interview for your application to be processed. Mexican bureaucracy moves slowly and this is something that you should be prepared for.

The application itself costs $40, and once you reach Mexico, you will have to pay a further $150-$350, depending on the length of visa issued.

You will have to pay the fee each year that you wish to renew the card.

What Makes Mexico so Attractive to Nomads?

Several factors make Mexico a top-tier digital nomad destination. One is the low cost of living compared to the US, the UK, and many parts of Europe. Apartments in many destinations in Mexico still cost $300- $500 per month, which is attractive to those who want to live relatively inexpensively. Many remote workers have relatively low incomes and being able to live in a place that is inexpensive for them can offer a quality of life that is simply unavailable in their home country.

The temperate climate in Mexico is another great selling point for digital nomads and remote workers. Being able to escape the colder weather back home is often what inspires people to become digital nomads in the first place.

According to the popular statistics aggregation website Statista, Internet speeds in Mexico are still lower than the worldwide average. In many towns and cities in Mexico, there is ample high-speed internet for even the most intensive uses by remote workers.

Home to over 30 UNESCO World Heritage sites, Mexico offers a plethora of interesting sites for people who are interested in history and ancient civilisations. There are both Aztec and Mayan ruins here, and there is more than enough to make it a tempting visit for a history buff, with the famed Chichén Itzá being only a short distance from the digital nomad hotspot of Tulum.

Digital Nomad Hotspots in Mexico

There are many places in Mexico which are popular with digital nomads and this is because of a combination of factors including the temperate year-round weather and the comparatively low cost of living.

Mexico City

One of the cultural gems, Mexico City attracts many digital nomads because of its vibrant lifestyle. However, there are some dangerous parts of the city that should be avoided by tourists and nomads.

Playa del Carmen

This is a beach lover’s paradise and is generally kept reasonably safe as it is a tourist and expat hotspot. “Playa”, as it is often simply referred to, is a real hub for the international nomad community.

Tulum

This is one for those who love nature and history, with the ancient ruins of the Mayan civilization right on your doorstep. Tulum is a grat place to tick off a few bucket list items for many people and is a fantastic place to live for a while.

Original Source: https://evolvecoliving.io/blog/mexico-digital-nomad-visa-temporary-residence-permit/

[asfsfguyhjh]

Sliding Door Repair Cost: What You Need to Know

Factors Influencing Sliding Door Repair Costs

Type of Damage: The nature and extent of the damage significantly affect repair costs. Minor issues like misaligned tracks or small cracks in the glass are generally less expensive to fix than major problems such as broken locks, shattered glass, or damaged frames.

Material of the Door: Sliding doors come in various materials, including aluminum, wood, vinyl, and fiberglass. The cost of repairing these doors can vary depending on the material. For example, wood doors might be more expensive to repair due to the need for specialized carpentry skills, while vinyl doors might be cheaper.

Type of Repair Needed: Common sliding door repairs include track alignment, roller replacement, glass replacement, and frame repair. Each type of repair has its own associated costs. For instance, replacing the glass panel in a sliding door is typically more costly than fixing a misaligned track.

Labor Costs: The cost of labor can vary depending on your location and the complexity of the repair. In urban areas or regions with a higher cost of living, labor charges can be significantly higher than in rural areas.

Availability of Parts: Sometimes, the availability of specific parts needed for the repair can influence the overall cost. Rare or custom parts may be more expensive and harder to find, sliding door repair cost potentially increasing repair costs.

Typical Price Range for Sliding Door Repairs

While the exact cost of sliding door repairs can vary, here is a general overview of what you might expect to pay:

Minor Repairs: Simple fixes such as track alignment or roller replacement can cost anywhere from $50 to $150.

Moderate Repairs: Repairs that involve replacing parts such as locks or handles can range from $100 to $250.

Major Repairs: Significant repairs like glass replacement or frame repair can cost between $250 and $600 or more, depending on the extent of the damage and the materials involved.

Tips for Managing Sliding Door Repair Costs

Regular Maintenance: Preventive maintenance can go a long way in minimizing repair costs. Regularly cleaning the tracks, lubricating moving parts, Sliding Door Repair Miami and inspecting for any signs of wear can help keep your sliding doors in good condition.

DIY Repairs: For minor issues, consider performing the repairs yourself. Many online resources and tutorials can guide you through basic fixes, potentially saving you money on labor costs.

Get Multiple Quotes: Before committing to a repair service, obtain quotes from several professionals. This allows you to compare prices and choose the best option for your budget.

Consider Replacement: In some cases, replacing the sliding door might be more cost-effective than repeatedly repairing an old, worn-out door. Evaluate the overall condition of the door and consider replacement if the repair costs are too high.

Check for Warranties: If your sliding door is still under warranty, check to see if the repair costs can be covered. Many manufacturers offer warranties that cover certain types of damage.

[blakesleys-1]

How Much Does a Sun Porch Cost? Breaking Down the Expenses for Your Ideal Sunroom

A sun porch, also known as a sunroom, is a popular home addition that offers a comfortable space to enjoy natural light and outdoor views while being protected from the elements. Whether you envision a cozy retreat for reading, a space for entertaining guests, or a bright home office, understanding the costs involved in adding a sun porch is crucial for effective budgeting. This article explores the various factors influencing sun porch costs and provides a detailed breakdown of potential expenses.

Factors Influencing Sun Porch Costs

The cost of adding a sun porch can vary widely based on several factors:

Size and Design: The larger and more complex the design, the higher the cost. A basic sun porch might range from 100 to 200 square feet, while more luxurious spaces can exceed 400 square feet.

Materials: The choice of materials for the frame, windows, flooring, and roofing significantly impacts the cost. Common materials include aluminum, wood, and vinyl, each with different price points and maintenance requirements.

Type of Sun Porch: There are various types of sun porches, such as three-season rooms, which are used in spring, summer, and fall, and four-season rooms, designed for year-round use with better insulation and heating/cooling options.

Location and Local Costs: Regional labor rates and material costs can vary. Building permits and local zoning regulations might also affect the overall expense.

Additional Features: Custom features like skylights, heating, cooling systems, and custom-built furniture add to the overall cost. Electrical work for lighting and outlets also needs to be considered.

Detailed Cost Breakdown

Basic Construction Costs:

Foundation: A simple concrete slab foundation might cost between $1,000 and $5,000, depending on size and soil conditions.

Framing and Insulation: Expect to pay $15 to $30 per square foot for framing and basic insulation.

Windows and Doors: High-quality, energy-efficient windows can range from $150 to $1,000 each, with a typical sun porch needing several.

Interior Finishes:

Flooring: Options like tile, hardwood, or laminate flooring range from $3 to $15 per square foot.

Walls and Ceiling: Drywall installation costs around $1.50 to $3 per square foot, with additional costs for painting or special finishes.

Utilities:

Electrical: Basic electrical work, including lighting and outlets, can range from $50 to $100 per hour for an electrician, with total costs depending on the complexity.

Heating/Cooling: Installing HVAC systems or portable units can add $500 to $5,000, depending on the system's sophistication.

Furniture and Décor:

Basic Furnishings: A modest budget might include $500 to $2,000 for furniture such as seating, tables, and décor.

High-End Furnishings: Custom or luxury furniture can significantly increase costs, with some homeowners spending $5,000 or more on interior design.

Average Total Costs

A modest, basic sun porch might start around $10,000 to $20,000, while a more elaborate, four-season room with high-end finishes can easily exceed $50,000. The national average cost for a mid-range sun porch is typically between $20,000 and $40,000.

Conclusion

Adding a sun porch to your home can provide a delightful, versatile space that enhances your living experience and boosts your property value. By understanding the various factors that influence the cost and planning accordingly, you can create a sun porch that fits both your vision and your budget. Whether you opt for a simple three-season room or a luxurious four-season retreat, careful consideration of the design, materials, and additional features will help ensure a successful project.

For More Info:-

sun porch cost

glass exterior sliding doors

[icarusthelunarguard]

This Week’s Horrible-Scopes

It’s time for this week’s Horrible-Scopes! So for those of you that know your Astrological Signs, cool! If not, just pick one, roll a D12, or just make it up as you go along. It really doesn’t matter. Better yet! Check out “Heart of the Game, Fredonia” and see if they can sell you those D12’s with the symbols on them. Tell them “Shujin Tribble” sentcha. And “Hail, Hail, Fredonia!” Home of the Blue Devil!

Next Month is the Solar Eclipse which will cross North America in spectacular fashion from Mazatlan, Sinaloa, Mexico, to Bonavista, Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada. This time out, we’re sending you to various locations to watch it happen! And since there are 20 on this list to choose from, there’s, as always, the chance for a Natural One and a Natural 20. Let’s see who comes out on top.   

Aries 

We’re shuffling you off to Buffalo, New York! The 2nd largest city in New York with a metropolitan population of 1.1 million and more eateries than you can EVER hope to check out. The center line passes right through downtown, so expect all activity to come to a screeching halt in mid-afternoon. So This Week… Check with the Buffalo Museum of Science’s Eclipse Viewing Party. It’ll likely be free with free viewing glasses! 

Taurus 

Racing your way 8 hours to the Southwest we’re dropping you off in Indianapolis, Indiana! Downtown Indianapolis is a metropolis served by four interstate highways, plus a highway ring around the perimeter; likely being one of the most sought-after destinations with plentiful lodging, excellent cuisine, and many attractions for travelers. Since there is an airport right in the middle of the path, consider flying in and arriving at 2pm Local to enjoy the event! So This Week… FREE THE INDIANAPOLIS FIVE-HUNDRED!

Gemini  

Another two and-a-half hour drive Southwest brings us to the lovely city of Vincennes, Indiana. Smaller, yes, with some 16,000 residents, you’ll be right along U.S. Highway 50 (east-west) and U.S. Highway 150 (north-south). You’ll be right in the centerline of the eclipse, so this’ll be a great spot without the hustle and bustle of a big city to contend with. So This Week… Yes, they all know that there’s Interstate 69 right near them too. Don’t make That Joke. They’ve heard it all their lives growing up there. Don’t be a tool.  

Cancer Moon-Child 

You might want to take a flight instead of driving 16 hours to get to Kerrville, Texas this time. One of the largest “small towns” in Texas at 24,00 residents, this spot will be a FAR better view than San Antonio AND give you an extra minute of darkness to enjoy! So This Week… the Sun will be at 67.5° inclination in the sky for you. SO CLOSE to making That Joke again, but… well… We all know how your luck runs, right?  

Leo 

We’re FINALLY headed on a Northeasterly drive about four hours, bringing us to Hillsboro, Texas. This spot’s got it all: it’s outside of Dallas with easy access to Interstate 35 where I-35E and I-35W meet. And, yet again, right on the totality line to maximize your nighttime experience. So This Week… get your car checked out so you can experience driving on the highway from day to night to day again across the length of an episode of “The Brady Bunch”.

Virgo 

Again Northeast, but 10 hours by car or 4 by plane, we’re airlifting you to Cape Girardeau, Missouri! The largest city in southeastern Missouri that will experience totality with its 80,000 residents. Since it lies on the bank of the Mississippi River and is easily accessible from Interstate 55, consider booking passage on a fishing boat for the experience! So This Week… Remember that there’s a Long John Silvers and a KFC in the vicinity, 600 meters apart from each other. If you ever wanted to experience them both in one day, now’s your chance!    

Libra

Wow, Libra! Overcompensating much? Another Northeasterly drive for you, and almost TWENTY HOURS LATER bring us to Sherbrooke, Quebec, Canada! If you’re already Canadian and don’t want to cross the border into the U.S. (and let’s be clear, we don’t blame you), you can opt for Sherbrooke, which is only a 161 km drive from Montréal. And for the Non-Canadians out there, the fact that it ISN’T Montréal is a selling point to the rest of Canadians. With a metro population of nearly a quarter million, Sherbrooke offers plenty of lodging and other amenities, plus a quick 16 km drive south will bring you to the center line and 5 additional seconds of totality. So This Week… Remember that the French you learned in High School isn’t going to help you there. Just be content to have to understand French-Accented Attitude-Dripping English.

Scorpio 

You’re really killing us here, Scorpio. You got the only Nat-20, but your ‘Scope was already written out. So you get this one instead! Last week’s Horrible-Scope for you about Warm Nuts made quite the stir for all the wrong reasons, so we’re setting the record straight. There is no one proper pronunciation for the word “Pecan”. The most accepted version of "pih-KAHN" originated from the Algonquin term “pacane” used in the mid-1700s. From there, pronunciation trends really seem to vary between rural and urban communities, not North and South ones. So This Week… If anyone wants to fight you on this truth, remind them that the Algonquin word means, “all nuts requiring a stone to crack” and that they can take a stone to their own and shut up.

Sagittarius 

Libra? We take it back about the Overcompensation comment because Sagittarius has you beat. With a Southwesterly drive of THIRTY-THREE HOURS we’re ALMOST back where we started in Texas at a place called, Radar Base, Texas. Lying right on the U.S & Mexican border, this isn’t a military base but instead a small town of several hundred residents. What’s its special draw? It offers the greatest possible amount of totality without leaving the U.S. So This Week… Check the local weather history to see if it’ll be a clear day for you before you head out. And stop competing with Libra! 

Capricorn 

Ok, what IS it with you second-halfers getting into a pissing match with each other? Driving Northeast again for Twenty.. Six… Hours… You’re arriving at Erie, Pennsylvania. The only large city in Pennsylvania to be graced by the Moon’s umbra with its 100,000 residents, which sits on the shore of the Great Lake that bears its name. With Pittsburgh a quick 130 miles to the south via Interstate 79, you can expect a lot of competition for viewing locations. So This Week… Stop Saying “The STATE of Pennsylvania”! It’s the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania! Get it RIGHT!

Aquarius 

Another 16 hour drive Southwest brings us to Russellville, Arkansas and its population near 30,000 folks. They’ve got enough resources to host a moderate influx of visitors for the eclipse, but they'd really appreciate it if you headed for nearby Mount Nebo for the actual viewing; It’s a flat-topped mountain that rises 410 meters above the surrounding valley and gives a GORGEOUS view of the skies! So This Week… Re-watch “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” and learn to play the Five-Note Sequence on a synthesizer. It’ll freak EVERYONE out and you can NOT miss this opportunity!

Pisces  

Driving up Northeast one last time for seventeen hours, we come to, what’s going to be considered the Nat-20’s of Nat-20’s on this list… Niagara Falls! Take your choice of the New York or Ontario sides, the surrounding area is, basically, a tourist trap where Superman first exposed himself to Lois Lane in 1981. You’ve got only two really excellent choices for this viewing: First, the fabled Maid of the Mist Boat Tours! It’ll likely still be a little chilly, but the view is always spectacular! Make sure your belongings are in waterproof containers - and that includes children. The other is the outlook called Terrapin Point, where the Sun will hang halfway up in the southwest — directly over the Falls! Science buffs who observe or photograph the eclipse here will want to visit the Nikola Tesla Statue within Queen Victoria Park on the Canadian side of Niagara Falls, half a kilometer north of Terrapin Point. So This Week… if you’re coming up, get in touch with us! Maybe Icarus can drive past to say “Hello!”

And THOSE are your Horrible-Scopes for this week! Remember if you liked what you got, we’re obviously not working hard enough at these. BUT! If you want a better or nastier one for your own sign or someone else’s, all you need to do to bribe me is just Let Me Know - or check out the Ko-Fi page ( https://ko-fi.com/icarusthelunarguard )! These will be posted online at the end of each week via Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, Discord, and BLUESKY.