#(for what you're missing amirite?)

[twstjam]

Unforeseen

HAHA it's not a Matcha fic if it isn't edited and posted at 2-3 AM amirite I don't know what this is I was just brainrotting about Malleyuu + Yuu and Sebek friendship + my take on post-NRC and this is what came out of it. I INITIALLY planned to only write the first and last parts but then my brain decided that it would be a good idea to come up with all the other shit in between and now this mess exists 👍 This also features a few theories and hcs based on Book 7 Chapter 4 lore, like how Malleus hatched and how Draconia babies are made. Summary: Sebek goes missing and with Malleus's first child with you on the way the prince is anxious about the affects of unexpected events on his family and the future.

----

There aren't many things that can scare a dragon.

But then correspondence from Sebek's party stops, and Malleus swears his blood freezes.

He's sure he wears out the floor with his pacing, blood humming with restless surges of magic and throat hot with the urge to release fire as he waits with patience that wears thinner by the hour. Silver stands in the doorway, the disapproving gaze he'd imagine on his father reflected exactly on the guard's face as he tells Malleus to go to bed.

Malleus would laugh at the irony if he didn't instead begin to worry about the emptiness he'd leave next to his spouse if he remains awake until dawn again. Well, not that you'd be entirely alone.

Your arms are encircled around a massive black egg, held close to your chest like you used to do with the monster cat curled up against it. Grim rumbles like a motorboat, the only sound that remains when Malleus enters the bedroom and all conversation is halted.

You sit up, not without keeping some part of you touching the egg in some way, eyes alight with hope. Malleus's heart sinks at the way your expression falls at the frown he wears.

Referring to you and Sebek as "close" would be an understatement. Since your first day at the castle, the both of you have practically been attached at the hip, falling back into the familiar roles of your years together as students at Night Raven College. Malleus would call it an imitation of Sebek's excessive devotion to him back in those years if it weren't more personal; the two of you are often whispering secrets or nonsense, laughing, bantering, and smiling with each other despite your roles as guard and master. It's nothing like how Malleus is guarded and he sometimes finds himself feeling the ugly curl of envy at the thought.

Malleus can't fault Sebek for keeping his distance. He knows that his role as the future king forms a boundary between them that cannot and should not be crossed, but that doesn't mean that Malleus is any less upset about it.

Sebek isn't with you now though, and neither is he with Malleus, nor Silver. Malleus remembers a time like yesterday (at least to him) when Sebek would sob upon being torn from Malleus's side, but he recalls that on the day of the guard's departure, he had been insistent. Dedicated, as always, to anything and everything that would keep his lord and friend safe. You'd hugged him goodbye and waved him off cheerily, grin wide as you shouted at him to "Don't forget the souvenirs!"

"I'm doing reconnaissance, not going on a vacation," Sebek had groaned when you'd told him the same thing prior, shooting Silver a glare when the other man had muttered under his breath, "Seven knows you need one." He had redirected it, tired and pleading at Malleus when the prince had laughed.

(Malleus tries to remember what it was like; laughing. When he had lamented this aloud, you had called him a Drama Queen, but that doesn't mean you're any less worn with worry even if you don't share his admittedly exaggerated sentiment.)

"We should just go look for 'im!" Grim grouches, disguising his own worry behind drained patience at everyone's trepidation. He's practically your other half, (and more in tune with your feelings than Malleus is, he'd begrudgingly admit.) so he's as tied to Sebek as you are.

""We"?" Malleus questions sharply at your nod of agreement.

"The longer we go without a word from him the less I think I can wait, Tsuno," you plead. Malleus looks down at you understandingly, but his eyes are sad as he places a careful hand on the egg nestled in your arms. Guilt crosses your face, but the determination remains in your eyes.

"Stay with the egg," you tell him with finality, but if anyone can fight you on this it's Malleus.

"I care for Sebek, truly." Malleus cuts you off when you open your mouth to argue that I didn't say you don't— "But I will not risk the chance of our child growing without either of us by their side."

It's something that he has a firm stance on and you know that you can't ever argue with it, even if you're not willing to give up the vision in your mind of both Silver and Sebek also being by their side when they hatch. You curl up around the egg further, resigned, even as you murmur, "What do we do, then?"

"We wait," Malleus says, apologetic as he gathers his child, the love of his life, and their cherished animal companion in his arms. He curls his tail around them protectively despite his family being in the safety of his arms and his nest. He can feel Grim vibrating with unrelenting purrs against his chest, the furry little beast squishing his face against the egg as he kneads little biscuits over its curved surface. You settle with your head against Malleus's chest, dissatisfied but resigned.

----

Malleus watches you shriek when you lay your eyes on Ace and Deuce right before you bowl them over to the floor in excitement and he knows he made the right call inviting them to the castle.

Few humans ever set foot on the castle floors, not many fae keen on just the idea of it, but Malleus is the future king and he can do whatever the Hell he wants and that includes letting your friends come over for a few days to cheer you up, traditions be damned.

With Ace and Deuce around, the castle is alive in a way it hasn't been in weeks. It's not just a product of their making but yours as well, the three of you along with Grim at your heels always up to something in the castle when you're all together. Malleus is more than happy to watch over the egg as you catch up with your friends, but that doesn't mean he's free from your attention any less.

"How much longer is it gonna take for it to hatch?" Ace says in both amazement and curiosity while Deuce tries to wrap his head around the concept of a magically conceived and hatched egg (It's not really that complicated. Malleus can't understand what might be so confusing about it.). They're both standing around the egg at a distance but still closer than anyone else you and Malleus have allowed in the unborn heir's presence.

(That is, if he doesn't count Silver and Sebek.)

"Like, half a year, or something like that." You tilt your head up at him for confirmation. "Right?"

"Indeed," Malleus crows proudly, hand smoothing over the egg's shell. Grim hops up onto Malleus's lap and rubs up against the egg, butting up into Malleus's palm when he raises it to pet him. You smile with excitement, lips pulled between your teeth as you hop in your seat across from them.

"I can't wait," you chirp, linking your arms with your friends' and bouncing them along with you. "You guys have to be there when it happens, so make sure you've got nothing going on."

"Oh, you bet," Ace laughs, eyes shining with mirroring eagerness.

"Are you kidding? Like we'd miss your kid being born! Uh.... hatched?" Deuce muses.

Malleus hums, pleased at their assent, hands cradling the egg's sides lovingly. Along with Ace and Deuce, you were also planning to invite your other old friends from NRC to witness the hatching, which Malleus had agreed to without missing a beat.

Though he hadn't even been a minute old, Malleus remembers his own hatching. He doesn't think he can ever forget it; the overbearing loneliness as he broke the shell and gazed into tearful red eyes. Despite the waves of love that had urged him to come out, the room had been so empty except for the fae that had coaxed him out of his eggshell.

Malleus doesn't wish for such an experience to ever be known to his children.

He knows the image you see in your head of your child's hatchday, can see you proudly presenting his heir to the eager eyes of your friends. He can see them all now, gathered around you with the privilege to lay eyes on the future ruler of Briar Valley before anyone else; Ace, Deuce, Jack, Epel, Ortho... and Sebek.

Malleus's fingers curl, claws lightly scraping against the shell of his child's egg.

Sebek will be there. He knows that you haven't given that up in your mind, and neither will he.

----

Malleus still remembers the day, a year or so ago, when the two of you had finally announced that an egg had been successfully conceived.

His grandmother was the first to come see it, of course. She had manifested, eyes wild and frantic, in a burst of green flames. She at least had had the decency to appear outside of his and your chambers instead of coming right in, but the moment Malleus opened the door to greet her she was brushing right past him.

It was the first time you and Malleus (and possibly anyone really) had seen Briar Queen Maleficia so emotional. You had awkwardly patted her back in an attempt to soothe her surging emotions, but it had instead gotten you pulled into a stifling hug that had you breathless. Malleus had watched with both amusement and tears in his eyes as his grandmother murmured "thank you"s to you over and over on repeat while you reached for him with your arms, silently begging for assistance.

After that, it was time to introduce the egg to the rest of his family.

Though it wasn't her egg, Maleficia had to be convinced to allow other people close to it, relenting with a pout. She remained in the room though, so when you had returned with Silver and Sebek in tow, her presence was the first thing that they registered. Sebek had gotten so caught up with stuttering formalities that he didn't even notice the egg for a full five minutes.

Everybody else in the room were already prepared for when he finally did, hands held over ears round and pointed alike as he screeched in surprise.

"An egg! You have an egg?!" he'd screamed in disbelief. You'd laughed as he grabbed you by the shoulders and shook you. "I'm not dreaming, am I?! Please tell me I'm not—!"

"You're not—!!!" you'd shouted, and the two of you had both shrieked with glee as Sebek picked you up and spun you around the air. He had chanted his congratulations while you vigorously repeated "Thank you!"s.

He had put you down awkwardly when he remembered again that Maleficia was in the room, clearing his throat and recollecting his composure while you continued to giggle. His joy was so infectious though that it even had Maleficia cracking a smile despite being in the face of some of her subjects.

"Do I not get a hug also?" Malleus had tried to be lighthearted but he couldn't help the pout on his face. Though he was reluctant and still alert to presence of the queen, Sebek had relented and given him the privilege. It wasn't anything like the hug he had given you, but it was meaningful and personal nonetheless. Silver had joined at Malleus's beckoning and the prince had held them both close, so many words of relief and gratitude going unspoken but communicated between the three of them nonetheless through one shared gesture.

Malleus had looked up at the quiet shuttering of a ghost camera and saw you show a polaroid to his grandmother with a proud grin.

"Could you perhaps make a duplicate of that for me?" she had mused.

----

Malleus is unsure if Ortho's surprise visit to the castle could be considered a pleasant one. Perhaps, if it were under different circumstances. Perhaps, if he had returned with Sebek and he wasn't practically painted with injuries.

Malleus was in the middle of his duties when he had found out. He had been discussing with the council the search itself for Sebek and his party when a member of the castle staff burst through the door and unceremoniously interrupted the meeting. They were quickly forgiven when they'd frantically informed him that Sir Zigvolt had finally returned.

Malleus had torn through the halls in a billow of black robes, legs carrying him thoughtlessly to his destination, eyes like green spotlights in the dimly-lit halls. The servants parted and made way for him wordlessly.

When he finally arrives, both you and Grim are already there, sitting by Sebek's bedside and on his lap respectively while Ortho hovers at his other side. Malleus is momentarily relieved that you'd been informed first, but then he sees the state Sebek is in and he's next to you in an instant.

Sebek's slit pupils dart to him for the briefest second before looking away with a grimace. He seems to sink further into the pillows cushioning his back at his sitting position, shame evident in his eyes and the way his lips are twisted in a way that morphs the cuts and bruises on his face.

"My liege—" he rasps, and the fire in Malleus's chest roars and pulls.

"Silence," he commands, a little too sharply and it aches how Sebek shrinks further into himself. Malleus sucks in a breath and forces himself to calm down. He sits down on the bed, holds out his hand, and speaks, softer this time, "Be still."

Sebek opens his mouth to retort but you shoot him a reprimanding look that has him going quiet again. Malleus notices how Sebek doesn't retreat from you and he feels that familiar pang of jealousy again.

Now is not the time for such trivial matters, boy. Your family is hurt. a voice chides him in his head. He holds his hand over Sebek's face, and though the halfling twitches slightly in discomfort, he closes his eyes to the warmth of Malleus's magic as his injuries begin to heal.

As Sebek relaxes, the tension easing further out of him as his pain fades away, Ortho begins to explain what had happened, how he had found Sebek, and why.

As it turns out, the treacherous group that Sebek's party was sent to observe was also being investigated by S.T.Y.X.. Sebek and his group had gotten ambsuhed and captured— At this, your hand tightens further around Sebek's much larger one. It draws Malleus's attention, and a low growl escapes him at the redness of iron burns peeking ever-so-slightly from beneath Sebek's sleeve.— and when Ortho had discovered this, he had gone in and rescued them as fast as he could. Sebek's injuries had been worse, apparently, and there was only so much Ortho could do with his built-in medical procedures in such a short amount of time.

The young humanoid seems to sag defeatedly at this, but you're quick to reassure him that "No, you did great. I mean it, Orr. Thank you."

Even Sebek had opened his eyes to shoot Ortho a reprimanding yet grateful look.

"I can confirm. I might not be here currently if it were not for your action, Ortho."

Ortho's eyes go wide at this and he scrubs at them with the heel of his palm as dribbles of liquid stain his cheeks.

"Y-You're going to activate my crying simulation again, Sebek!" he chokes out. He suddenly looks up, teary eyes meeting Malleus's, and Sebek looks like he wants to stop him from speaking but he's too late as Ortho blurts out, "I hope you are not disappointed in him, Malleus Draconia, though I don't think that you are! Regardless, you should know that Sebek was really cool, even though he was the one being rescued! He was suffering from severe iron burns and yet he stood up to the enemy captain anyway and bit his arm off when he tried to grab me! It was like he was the hero!"

An embarrassed blush spreads over Sebek's cheeks at Ortho's retelling, his flustered gaze suddenly finding interest in Grim's silky fur beneath his fingers. Despite his demeanor, his voice is as sure as ever as he says, "Well, of course I couldn't just stand there and let you be hurt after all the trouble you went through because of my blunder!"

At this statement, Malleus turns to him questioningly. "Sebek—"

"It was due to my shortcomings that we were captured, Lord Malleus," Sebek admits, shamefully and yet boldly as he looks up to finally meet his master's eyes. "It was my fault. The solution was so simple. If only I had...." Sebek's brow furrows in frustration, his fists clenching, the one holding your hand wrapping around your fingers fiercely. "If only I was—"

"Sebek," Malleus says, gently yet firmly, a mere mimicry of your reassuring tone, but it works to cut Sebek off before he begins his tangent. "That does not matter."

His hands draw downwards, brushing against yours before carefully wrapping around Sebek's wrists. Sebek inhales sharply at the sting of contact but eases again at the warmth of healing magic.

"What matters now is that everyone is safe. Is that you are safe. That you have returned to us."

He knows it's selfish. As prince, he knows it's unfair and unwise to be so forgiving of one of his guards' failures— A single wrong move could mean the downfall of the entire kingdom, after all— but Malleus finds that he doesn't care. He finds that, with Sebek back in the safety of the castle, with his family— All of his family— back in the safety of his arms, he doesn't care.

After weeks of worry and weariness and heavy thoughts of paranoia and doubt, Malleus for the first time feels a weight lift off his shoulders and it's like he can breathe again. He remembers again the feeling of relief.

Your hand that's not holding Sebek's reach for one of Malleus's. He accepts it gratefully, looking down to return your equally relieved smile, but when he meets your eyes, the expression on your face is not what he expects.

Instead of warmth, instead of anxiety flooding out of you and tears gathering in your eyes, your expression is cold and detached; eyes distant, lips pulled firmly into a thin line, and brows fighting to not draw down in what he knows would be the most fearsome glare he's ever seen in his years of living.

There aren't many things that can scare a dragon, but right now, as he watches you, the barely-restrained fury on your face  and the chilling desire for damnation in your eyes, Malleus feels the fire in his chest snuff out, retreating to make way for the real beast.

[doxypsychlean]

Aegon II Targaryen x reader who is manipulative and uses the motherly love he never got to get her own way. They both love each other but in a toxic yandere kinda way 😂

Wrapped around your finger

Yandere!Aegon ii Targaryen x Yandere!Reader

Headcanons|

Warnings: none? pls tell me if I've missed sth

Thou shan't repost/copy/ translate any of my work or I'll sneak into your home late at night and bite your nose off!

English isn't my first language. I don't proofread. I slap commas wherever I feel they're needed.

A/N: Aegon and Halaena aren't together in this one. It's also pretty sweet, despite their ?yandere? tendencies.

Oh, he really thinks he's that good.

Then you come around.

You, a lady of noble descent and a member of one of the greater houses in Westeros, are also one of his greatest rivals when it comes to having the worst reputation in all the realms.

At first, it's just harmless fun. Nothing too serious.

But then you become a witness to the way his family treats him.

You work your way into his heart and head. I mean, who in their right mind would miss out on the opportunity of being Queen of Westeros one day, amirite?

He bites the bait pretty quickly.

Aegon is obsessed with the way you shower him with affection and love.

He'd be spending most of his time in your arms, begging for you to tell him how much you love, how unfair his mother is to him.

Alicent hates you at first.

The hatred turns to admiration with time, seeing as you gain complete control over her son and mold him to your liking.

But there's more to what she's feeling towards you- fear. With the way things are going, all it would take is for you to snap your fingers and Aegon would kill them all. For you.

You never do, thank the Gods, and for that you have the Queen's utmost respect and gratitude.

She never lays a hand on him again. She doesn't have to, but she's also too scared to do it.

He still drinks, maybe not as much as he did before, but he no longer chases after the servant girls. As if you'd even allow it to happen.

The first time you realize what you feel for him might be actual love, is when you order for some noble lady to be "displaced" from the Red Keep. You didn't like the way she stared at him. Cue, girly losing her eyes for that one.

He was yours and the only way to get him away would be to pull him out of your cold fingers. And you had no intention of dying any time soon.

Aegon rarely goes out of the Red Keep anymore and when he does, you're always with him. The Prince has glued himself to you, whether you like it or not.

On the rare occasions of you two not being present in the castle, golden scales could be seen shimmering high above King's Landing. Sunfyre loves you, the golden beast could feel the strong bond between his rider and you.

Expect lots of expensive gifts- lavish dresses, the rarest perfumes from Essos, jewelry, books, horses, ginormous bouquets of your favorite flowers, commissioned portraits of you two, gold, sweets, etc.

You want it? You'll have it. Simple as that.

He'd never thought of himself as a jealous man, but the second he sees his brother talking to you and you laughing... All Seven Hells break loose.

Aegon turns into a sniveling, whining mess, hands wrapping around you as if his life depends on it.

All the while shooting daggers at Aemond behind your back, daring him to come closer so he could claw his remaining eye out.

Few soft words from you and he's melting.

You love him. He loves you. Everything is more than fine. He completely forgets about Aemond, who's slowly backing away from you two.

You get married not long after. Neither one of your families is brave enough to say a word against the union, seeing as ...

You absolutely never tried to hide it from the public.

You're all over eachother for the most of it.

Both men and women are dropping like flies around you, if they just as much as stared at either of you for a second too long.

Both yours and his family are equally scared and would rather keep away, than try and separate you.

Word spreads around quickly. You're with child.

Aegon's over the moon. You're his. He's yours. Completely.

The prove pops out not long after. Then another. And another.

He would 100% elbow the midwife in the face if she tries to keep him away from you while you're giving birth.

"My Prince, you cannot..."

"Out of my way, you old hag, my wife is in there!"

He was there while you were making them, he has every right to be there while you squeeze them out.

Definitely cries his ass off when he holds your firstborn.

His tunic is discarded quickly as he holds the small bundle close to his bare chest.

Then he wraps one hand around you, almost crushing your neck with how strong he's squeezing you.

Same thing goes down every single time- he storms in, kid comes out, he's bawling his eyes out at the sight.

You pick the dragon eggs for each and every one of them together.

Aegon's just as obsessed with your children, as he is with you.

Gods forbid someone makes one of his little bundles of joy cry...Heads will be flying in all directions, no matter who they belong to.

Not even the Stranger would be able to pull you apart.

Even in death, you'd find a way to be back together.

[heartfullofleeches]

girly girl creep yan who looks so adorable and cute with pink skirts and everything, but she's just got a huge and unethically-collected bone collection at home and jars full of questionable materials and if you talk to her for even more than 0.1 second you start to fear for your life.

alternately tomboy girl creep yan who's just. covered in mud and has sticks and leaves in her hair at all times. also very cute imo, probably loves bugs and raccoons and armadillos and seems more likely than girly girl creep yan to actually get rabies. what's more romantic than holding ur murderous gf's hand while she has to get those rabies shots amirite. anyways feel like this girl creep yan would be more likely to wear a studded collar you gift her and actually bark at people to warn them away before resorting to violence.

girly girl creep yan gives no warnings and goes straight to stabbing

Honestly my baby girl Callie/Calliope is the embodiment of girly girl creep Yan with a little sprinkle of tomboy. Her first post had her bashing in someone's face with a rusty hammer. That hammer has probably been her best friend since grade school. Vibed more with insects and stray animals that entered her backyard as a kid and collects the corpses of both to this day. Unironically calls herself your "precious puppy girl" and has a few collars with your name and number printed on the back. Growls at anyone who comes to close to you. She's leans more tomboy dress wise in the sense wearing a skirt in public will do years of mental damage because of old scars on her legs, but keeps a handful of dresses and skirts on her closet to change into when she knows you're around.

I miss my wife, Tails - and my wife's name is Callie.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

REWATCHING GO S1, LIVE PLAY-BY-PLAY OF DOOMSDAY WAHOO

HELLO MAGGOTS REWATCHING SEASON 1 BECAUSE THE FIRST TIME WAS A KIDNAPPING CHAOTIC MESS. EPISODE ONE HERE GOES. I DON'T REMEMBER A LOT OF DETAILS BUT YES.

Opening scene and Earth's got vibe-checked by God and I've been gaslit about the dinosaurs

GARDEN OF EDEEEEEN wow his first appearance and Aziraphale's already so prissy and flustered might fuck around and fall in love with him idk

I finally understand who these mf's are hi Hastur and Ligur you're not zombies after all

FOR FUCK'S SAKE SECOND SCENE CROWLEY'S BEEN IN AND SHE WALKED IN, SERVED HIPS HAIR AND CUNT, AND THEN MANAGED TO TALK HER AWAY INTO A PROBLEM

LIKE GENUINELY SHE COMES AND SASHAYS WITH HER HAIR AND SAYS TIMES ARE CHANGING AND HEAD OFFICE LOVES ME AND JUST INSTANTLY HASTUR AND LIGUR USE HER WORDS AGAINST HER

idk sister mary loquacious is kinda doing it for me rn with that satanic nun's habit and losergirl energy

third crowley scene and he's misplaced THE LITERALLY GODDAMNED ANTICHRIST because he made small talk with a bloke outside without checking for details

mmmmhm yes sister mary wink again your bitchless decisions are sexy y'know what i mean

Gabriel feels like his brain was eviscerated and replaced with one of those youtuber's paid course promos at the end of their how to change your life in 45 days: three simple mindset shifts video

so THIS IS WHY EVERYONE KEEPS SAYING PAVLOVIAN IN THIS FANDOM IT'S BECAUSE OF DUCKS of course it's because of ducks

mmmhm yes sure crepes French revolu--Crowley stop eye-fucking Aziraphale you're making everyone at the Ritz horny

Aziraphale don't moan into your food man you can't take these two anywhere

Crowley thanking the driver for slowing down is everything to me

And they're drunk hu-fucking-zzah good thing we'll have 11 year olds saving the world coz these fuckers sure ain't doing shit

OH MY GOD HE WAS TRYING TO SAY BOUILLABAISSE I JUST REALISED. I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST MAKING KISSY FACES AT AZIRAPHALE I'M NOT OK-

What Aziraphale was doing back was definitely kissy faces though that mfer wasn't even trying to say bouillabaisse when Crowley said what sounded suspiciously like baby

kissy kissy from lil miss prissy [i would have made such a great high school bully shame i had no inclinations that way]

SORRY WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK WAS THAT SOBERING UP EXCUSE ME THE FANFICS MADE IT SOUND LIKE IT WAS A CLICK AND THEY'RE SUDDENLY NORMAL WHY IS THE ALCOHOL REFILLING

oop nun down nun down

i want ya see a wile ya thwart amirite on a t-shirt

"actually i encourage humans to-" just say you're a lazy bitch azi we love you

love crowley fake-manipulating azi into helping like azi wants to be manipulated y'know so it's not technically his fault he was wiled over or whatever and they're both just such ENABLERS

not azi going SOFT at being godfathers with crowley

NOT BROTHER FRANCIS PLEASE NO FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SACRED AZI WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS PLEASE

WARLOCKKKKK I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

HNNNG MICHAEL SHEEN HAD TOO MUCH FUN WITH THIS

why is nanny ashtoreth so seductive with that of course dear is it just crowley's inherent disastergirl sex appeal

HALF PONYTAIL CROWLEY I AM A FUCKING SLUT FOR HALF PONYTAIL

GASLIGHTING HEAVEN AND HELL THAT'S MY BABYGIRLS

erIC THE DISPOSABLE DEMON I DIDN'T KNOW THEY COME IN S1 well not come i hope unless being eaten by a hellho--nope

ANGEL CROWLEY SAID ANGEL ANGEL ANGEL

CROWLEY TRYING TO BE SUBTLE ABOUT KILLING BEFORE GETTING ANNOYED

waiter crOWLEY OUTFIT I CANNOT BE NORMAL AFTER THE WEDDING DRESS DESIGNING ABOUT THIS COSTUME

FOOLS WRONG BOY YOU FOOLS IM DEAD

DOG IS UNIRONICALLY SO CUTE EVEN BEFORE IT GOES SMOL

gonna give my roxie a kissy brb she's my angel and all this dog talk makes me miss her (she's a few feet away under the bed)

i asked her for a kissy and she crawled out and gave me a kiss i love her

DOGGGGG ADAMMM

...roxie's crying to be taken downstairs it's nearly 2 am this is on me for waking her up i crowley'd myself fml

EYYYYY WELCOME TO THE END TIMES don't mind me I'll have to take roxie down yes I know maggots I'm crowley-coded I KNOW THAT I'M A BLOODY DISASTER BYEEEEEEEE

[t-lostinworlds]

"And you're really going to leave me alone to watch our kids?"

AND WHAT IF I SIMPLY PASSED AWAY. WHAT THE FUCK IM IN PAINNNNNN

LKASLKASLK but honestly, it just makes so much sense. they're like two sides of the same coin. If a whole high school can dub them "the king and queen" with no hesitation, you best believe those mischievous lil shits would call them "mom and dad" without missing a beat. only thing was, it alternates most of the time. sometimes it was steve who gets called the mom, and she gets called the dad, and vice versa. either way, they're both "the parents" of the group and it's been like that ever since.

Robin always jokingly called them an "old married couple" because of how much they argued with each other and that the youngsters were "their kids" with how much the group was always seen together in such a family dynamic.

It always annoyed the two of them so much because the thought of being together was repulsive since "who would want to be married to someone who only complains about everything" and "why would i want to put up with someone who thinks his way is the only way" and so on. Robin could only laugh at the way they can never look each other in the eye every time they're called a "couple" and the way Steve never fails to turn red every time. Idiots, amirite?

But it wasn't until they somehow ended up the only two people dropping the kids off at summer camp that Steve saw how fitting it was.

He was giving Dustin a rundown of any and all advice he could think of, from "make sure to follow the rules and keep safe", and "try and win as many games as you can but don't forget to have fun", and reminding him not to forget sunscreen and to keep an eye over the others, etc. Steve ended it with a good ol ruffling of Dustin's hair which the young boy groaned in annoyance,

"Thanks for driving us here, Dad."

It was joking yet loving all the same. Steve rolled his eyes but he couldn't wipe the smile off his face or the warm feeling he got in his chest.

And when he went looking for you so he could annoy you and say that it was time to go and to hurry your slow ass up, he caught you in the middle of saying goodbye with El.

"Bye, mom, drive back home safe," the young girl had giggled. You laughed with her, but he had never seen you smile so bright and so proud as you gave her one last hug.

Steve couldn't explain why his heart felt funny and warm and fuzzy all of a sudden.

Then the two of you were arguing over who gets control of the radio the minute he pulled back onto the road, from the whole "my car my rules" to "shotgun privileges" and kept arguing the whole way back to Hawkins over the smallest things you both could think of.

But you and him being mom and dad to the kids? The thought never left Steve since.

🏆 Competitively Stupid

[tachimichishrine]

<ok guys so hear me out. this is the second time i've posted this on tumblr (originally posted on my main— which isn't a fic blog btw) AND i have it somewhere on my other platforms that i havent touched in ages... im just tryin to organize myself so pls dont remind me..... womp womps apologetically,, anywho, it's canon that jouno was a crime executive before joining the hunting dogs sooooo !!!!!! >

"sweet and sour"

◝≞▣≞◜ crime executive!jouno saigiku x gn!reader

warnings: except for a bit of guns + cursing and ooc jouno,, none! this is all fluff :) i didn't write this in lowercase??? crazy amirite

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"Jouno Sai... Saigay? I was certain there was gay in there somewhere... Anyways! Hi!! It's a pleasure to meet you!!"

The mispronounced man in question glared at the individual who was giggling happily, strolling around in the office like they owned the place, shooting a, "Hey, Fernando, did you get a new haircut?", "Lookin' good in that suit, Ichika!", and, "Oh my god! Where did you get those shoes, I swear I saw the exact same ones at that store down the street, the uh... what's it called? Y'know what I'm talking about, don't'cha?" to his fellow executives like they've been friends for years on end.

The room had always been tense, from what he recalled. When people entered, they expected to get shot by the boss, or be given a task so difficult to complete that they would ultimately get shot. In short, a meeting with the renowned organization that Jouno Saigiku worked for was a death sentence for his subordinates, even more so for rival organizations.

Yet, this person had been bouncing around the walls like a child in a candy store, waving around the knife at their fingertips like a ten thousand yen bill and showing off the gun strapped to their thigh and waist with the same bubbly confidence of a new outfit they'd just bought the previous day.

'They're going to get themselves killed in no time,' he laughed to himself, waiting for the one in charge to enter the room.

For now, he was responsible for managing the building and their potential customer (from another criminal organization. It made him wonder how on earth someone like them could possibly be working in the same sadistic field as he did) until their meeting began. He'd never met this person in particular before, and wished he would've never had to. However, business was business, and he would need to accommodate them well enough to prevent a war between the two groups to break out.

"[l/n], was it?" he smirked, a strained playful smile that was barely hanging above the devilish one he had underneath. "It's Jouno Saigiku, and I'd recommend that you refrain from making yourself too comfortable in here. You are, as you know, on our turf, which means that-"

"Bla, bla, bla! you're so formal!" they scoffed with a wave of their hands, bouncing off of the velvet couch and strolling up to the executive, glaring at him with a particular expression that he couldn't see. "I'm actually rather touched that you knew my name! [l/n] [y/n], I'm your connect with [criminal organization name ~ [c /o/n]] so don't be a meanie!"

..."Don't be a meanie? "

As if by miracle, the boss entered right when they were about to get close enough to his straightened-out figure, almost army-like in posture, to tap his nose with their fingertip as one does with children. In his field of work, only people of utmost trust managed to meet directly with the person on the top, so he considered that perhaps they were prevalent in some other field that didn't have to do with relationships and appearance. Now, all he had to do was wait for his boss to get infuriated at their attitude and demand that he dispose of them and he'd be able to drag them out back and peel off their skin...

"[l/n], dear! It's been a while, has it not?"

This keeps getting better and better.

"Kantoku!" they beamed out, running over to the old man and avidly shaking his hand. "Oh, I've missed you so! Things have changed around here, didn't they? You never told me you promoted a new executive!"

With a playful eyeroll, Kantoku - the man in charge of his crime syndicate - gestured to the couch and began to converse, almost casually. What baffled him, perhaps the most of all, was that every regular beat of their heart was steady, this wasn't a feigned façade nor overcompensation for fear. This person was truly, genuinely an idiot.

"Pst, Jouno," the woman executive standing beside him nudged his shoulder, "the boss is here so we're free to go. Plus, that asshole who stole from us isn't talking, so we might need your help."

With that, he left behind both the room and the lingering feeling of confusion regarding [l/n] [y/n].

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Jouno Saigiku did not have a very complex job.

In fact, his daily tasks mostly consisted of torture and punishment, with the occasionally laying off (which undoubtedly meant death. There was quite a bit of death around him, a certain fading scent that permeated throughout any room he'd visit. This was not a literal physical scent, for that would obstruct his sight and handicap his senses, but nonetheless he found himself rather pleased when he felt warm blood splatter across his soft cheeks.)

Today was nothing different; supposedly, someone from [c /o/n] had blundered and fled right into their territory. Given the amical relationships between the two groups, it was their job to retrieve and return the fugitive, annihilate them if they do not cooperate and it becomes necessary.

At the moment, he found himself seated in a vehicle, driving to the last location that this person was last seen, being described as "[s/c] skinned and [e/c] eyed", all attributes which couldn't possibly make any difference to him, due to his lack of vision. When he asked for a name of this person, he was shocked to learn that it was the same energetical and bubbly individual who vaguely crossed his radar a few weeks back.

"Oi, oi, Jouno slow down, we don't wanna pass 'em 'cause you're drivin' too fast, 'ight?" his coworker for this mission reprimanded. "Just 'cause you can do that fancy hearin' thing ain't mean my eyes ain't good, 'ight?"

Jouno thus pressed his foot with more force against the gas pedal, speeding up the car only because he didn't quite like the tone of this person.

"Hm?" he asked innocently. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you very well, what did you say?"

"I said slow down you-"

They cut themselves off, not allowing for a response since their silence indicated that they had learnt something new.

"Woah, yeah, they're right over there!" they exclaimed, tapping a point on the window so that Jouno could hear the faint sound and distinguish which direction their target was. "Pull over, I'll tie 'em up and toss 'em in the back."

The white-haired man paused momentarily, thin brows imitating each other as they angled upwards in confusion.

"What do you mean? That's not them."

"For a blind bitch, ya really think yer all that, don't'cha? I can literally see them right now, they're standing outside the fuckin' car so pull over and lemme mug 'em."

His lips had pressed into a line, contemplating the situation. The reason he wasn't allowed to go on his own was because they were extremely picky about identifying the right culprit, yet Jouno cared little for his escort of sorts. He'd encountered [l/n] before, and what marked his memory the most, asides from their childlike behavior, was how their heart hadn't betrayed a thing on the outside attitude, despite being blatantly threatened. This person, the one that his temporary partner had suggested was their target, was in fact sweating buckets and had such an erratic heartbeat he might've believed them to be having tachycardia. On top of this, their breathing was not the same, from what he gauged, they couldn't possibly be the right height, build and walking pattern. People on the run obviously become more more jittery when faced with escaping an impossible situation, but this conflicted his knowledge in too many ways to be true.

"I believe," he suggested calmly with a grin appearing, still refusing to unlock the doors or pull over, therefore driving past the individual, "that [l/n] might not be as gullible as we first presumed, and that this person is a decoy set up to distract us."

And so, Jouno found himself pleasantly challenged by the least likely person.

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As the sun bled out into the sky during its descent from the zenith to the crepuscule, Jouno had finally managed to shed his gravely irritating partner and complete his task alone.

That idiot - really, that's all he could call them - decided to ignore his words and kidnap the scapegoat. Of course, this person sobbed and repeatedly told them that they're not the right person, that there's been a mistake, but no one believed their words. Inevitably, they were tortured for a few hours and deemed unnecessary. Jouno shot them, then headed back to search for the real culprit.

"Now, where could they be?" he hummed, almost amusedly, to himself. "Most people tend to lay low when running from important and dangerous organizations, but something tells me..."

He was rather lucky, in a sense, that someone had spotted the fugitive near a bar. However, this was over 5 hours ago. People on the run tend to be smart enough to scatter from location to location, but he supposed he shouldn't be overestimating other people's intelligence.

The door creaked with a lowly groan, as did the floor when he applied weight onto it via his heavy tread. Upon first impressions, the bar was nearly empty.

Then, he heard a voice call out.

"SAIGAY!! Ahh, it's been a while, hasn't it?! Come, come! Can I order you anything? You look like a bourbon man, are you into bourbon? Unless... fine wine? Oh dear, don't keep me guessing, come, sit!"

Immediately, as soon as they called out his name and announced themselves with such ardor, he knew he had the right person.

"No thank you," he smiled. "I can't drink, I'm currently at work."

"Are you? Aw, you don't mean you're here to kill me?" they replied, voice dipping down to a pouty grumble as they neared the end of the sentence. "I'm tired of people trying to kill me, it's no fun."

Idling at the entrance, Jouno didn't quite motion to sit next to them, nor did he seek to keep close in case of sudden evacuation. From what he had heard, this person was without ability, so they didn't pose much danger. Nevertheless, he was a cautious man, and had known that false information could potentially be fatal in certain circumstances, especially when the target is acting so laid back.

"You stole half a million yen from one of the most dangerous organizations around, I don't particularly think you'd've expected it to be fun."

Met with muttering, he would've asked them to speak up had he not heard the nearly incomprehensible, "but I didn't steal anything" from their lips.

"You didn't?" he said aloud. "Then where do you suppose the money had gone?"

A pause insinuated, and he pondered repeating his question in a more forceful way when they answered. "Woah, you've got great hearing! I wish I were like that, half the time people talk to me and all I hear is 'bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bl-'"

Jouno pulled out his firearm and pointed it directly at them.

"Enough games. Cooperate and I'll only make it hurt a lot."

"Gee, mister, did someone piss in your cheerios? I'll come, I'll come, just give me a second! I want to finish my drink."

On the table, however, there wasn't a single glass.

Upon having Jouno point this detail out (for while he could not see, he could still visualize objects in space with his other senses), they paused briefly. "So either you're blind but scarily good at it, or you can see through that crazy squinting of yours."

"I don't appreciate you stalling," he hummed, cocking the gun. "Do you think I won't shoot?"

"No, no, it's clear you would!" giggled the individual. "But, oh, do tell me more about yourself. Being threatened is so much more pleasant when-"

He shot them once.

He shot them twice.

Both bullets landed in non-lethal locations, such as their right shoulder and calf, which was enough to get his message across without rushing his punishment for their actions.

"That hurt!" they frowned, clutching at the opening from which blood was rushing out. "Owwie! You really don't like talking with people, do you, Saigay?"

"Saigiku," he corrected with a hiss. "Do you ever stop talking? I could very well kill you right now."

"Well, I sure hope you don't!"

This just made him want to shoot them even more.

He listened eagerly as they let out a few hisses and groans, then a soft squelch and the clattering of a metal against the marble countertop. He guessed that they were taking out the bullet from their calf, since the one in their shoulder had effectively shattered into hundreds of shards, and would require special medical attention immediately if they wished to live for a few more years. Then again, he knew that they probably wouldn't live past tomorrow, so it wasn't his concern.

Letting out a soft gasp while they tore off part of their attire in order to wrap their injured limb, they still seemed to be laughing. "Thanks."

"For the gunshot wound?" the white-haired male tried to clarify. He didn't take them to be such an open masochist.

Yet, his question only spurred a flurry of coughing and chuckles. "Of course not! I meant, thank you for not attacking me further. Really thought you'd kill me here and now, but you're letting me treat my wounds without interference. Is it because you have orders not to kill me?" Adding with a terribly comedic bite of their lip, they said, "Or have you been seduced by my charm?"

Once he made it perfectly clear that he'd shoot again, they backed off on the teasing remarks and requested that he help them up. "To walk," they'd clarified. "I can't walk, y'know. How do you plan on getting me back to your base?"

"I'll drag you by your hair if I need to," he replied.

(He had to hijack a car because there was no way he'd drag a body across the city, especially not a body as talkative as this one.)

"So you're telling me," they pondered while blindfolded and cuffed in the back of the vehicle, "that you're blind, yet you have highlights? They're pretty, I'll give you that, but why did you colour it? Midlife crisis? Doesn't sound right to me, plus you can't even see the colour so why on earth would you do it? Are you responding to me? I can't hear anything with this blindfold over my ears. Aren't blindfolds supposed to obstruct your vision, not your hearing? Man, but maybe I can hear perfectly fine and it's all your fault because you're not answering me. C'mon, Saigay, humor me!"

Of course, he had no intentions of humoring them.

"You're lucky I didn't gag you," he said. "Or cut off your tongue. In fact, knocking you unconscious would've been a splendid idea."

"But you didn't!" the ex-criminal beamed. "Besides, I'm going to get beat up enough once you deliver me back to [c /o/n]. If you ask them to let you watch and/or participate, they won't say no, I think. Pops isn't too strict when it comes to those things."

"Pops?"

"Y'know, the head of [c /o/n]. He's my dad's close friend and the brother in law of your boss."

That explained a lot of things, starting with this seemingly innocent person's involvement with such dark themes. Yet, there was still something Jouno needed to know.

"And you betrayed your own family friend?" asked the blind man, quickly approaching the location of the building in which he was given rendezvous for the drop-off of the traitor.

"Ahh, connections don't mean shit," they scoffed, waving around their tied hands as if to emphasize their point. "But I didn't betray them. I'd have to be an idiot.... No, not an idiot, whatever is worse than an idiot in order to steal money from a man who would've given me the cash if I asked him for it. So, no. I didn't steal anything. That's why I didn't run; I'm not guilty of anything, running would make it look like I am."

Jouno was interiorly perplexed. So they've got a decent brain behind all of that buttery personality, after all. But, there was just something about them that didn't fit with the narrative, something he couldn't wrap his head around.

"Why wait for me to tie you up?" he finally suggested aloud, hearing his own words formed allowing him to make more sense of his confusion. "Why not just waltz into the building? This makes you look both stupid and guilty."

A laugh burst from the backseat, the kind of laugh that makes you want to join in despite not fully understanding the reason behind it. It was however cut short, due to a sharp inhale of pain then a few curses murmured at their injuries.

"Maybe I am an idiot. Maybe I wanted to get caught. Who knows? Maybe this was all part of my master plan to lure you near Negishi Station so that I could use my all-powerful ability."

He spent a few seconds registering that last bit. Lure him out to Negishi so they could...

"BOOM!"

With a jolt, he nearly crashed the car; luckily, in time Jouno had realized that this was just a sound effect from the hostage, and not a real crash caused by an ability. They were, in fact, right next to Negishi, which made the whole thing a huge coincidence, but other than that, nothing occurred. They were still in the car, unharmed and untouched by any ability that he could detect.

Meanwhile, [l/n] was laughing their ass off.

"BWAHAHAH, you actually fell for it!!" they managed between heaving breaths and uncontrollable laughter. "I knew that since you were blind you would be sensitive to loud noises but that worked so much better than I thought it would, you should've seen your face! You were all like," then they proceeded to make a plethora of faces he couldn't see, but that he knew were all mocking him.

[l/n] continued, "By the way, just because I haven't used it doesn't mean I don't have an ability. So watch out for your ass, pretty boy, or else I might just... BAM!"

He did not flinch this time, but he found himself rather frustrated with his previous reaction. People, normal people, never teased him this way. He'd have thought [l/n] would be a bit less friendly around him after sustaining the injuries, but so far, that appeared only to drive them towards a playful alternative to revenge on par with a snowball fight between two children.

"I'll tell you what," concluded the hysterical individual attempting to calm themselves down, "let's do this again, same time tomorrow? Muah, it was lovely meeting you Saigay!!"

Before he could protest or question this, they waved around their somehow uncuffed hands, reached for the handle of the car door, pushed it open and leaped out.

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He found himself standing at the entrance of the bar the very next day.

It was beyond frustrating to pick up the pieces of yesterday's aftermath; based on his recollection and the most probable situation, [l/n] likely used the loud noises not only to ruffle and distract him, but to cover up for the sound of the click of their handcuffs being taken off, courtesy of a pin they had picked the lock with. On top of this, their haphazardous mention of Negishi station was just a way of situating themselves in space (since they had been blindfolded) so they could think of the safest escape route.

He quite frankly did not expect to be outsmarted by someone who can't even remember his name right. Yet, the fact remained that he was strolling up to the entrance of the same place as he'd previously apprehended them at, same hour of the day. He rather hated the sunset; nothing felt right for him. Not the consistent buzzing of the cicadas during the day nor the melodic trilling of the crickets; dusk never held a sustainable aura, and for this reason he'd grown to loathe it, despite being told repeatedly that the setting sun was beautiful.

Rushing curtly inside the building, the bells connected to the door jingled, and, almost on cue, a loud cheer roused him from his lucid trance.

"Saigay!! Over here, over here! Can't say I expected you to show up, but I'm pleasantly surprised!" gleamed [l/n] upon his arrival.

"It's Saigiku," he repeated for an umpteenth time, "and I'm here to turn you in."

They shook their head. "I'd have hoped you'd realized that I don't take to being kidnapped. But I do appreciate the perseverance, so I'll make a deal; have a drink with me, then I'll cooperate for an entire 5 minutes without trying to escape."

"...You truly are an odd person," said he, despite taking a seat by their side and waiting. He didn't know what trick they had up their sleeve (rather, their cast. Turns out, they'd gone to a private medical professional in order to have it looked at. He smiled when he noticed this; a sure sign that victory was much more likely tonight.)

"I'll take that as a compliment!" [l/n] laughed heartily, then called for the waiter. "One [favorite drink] for me, and he'll have a cup of whiskey. The good type, y'know what I mean, darling?"

The waiter raised a brow at the nickname and odd hint, but took the order anyways and began preparation. Meanwhile, Jouno sat, trying to protest that he did not want anything to drink, but was quickly cut off by his temporary enemy's much louder affirmations that he did indeed want some.

"You don't look like the type to be trying out sobriety," they hummed, "but I know if I let you chose for yourself, you wouldn't get anything. You'd be all," (and here their voice deepened and became gruff in an attempt to make it clear that they were looking to mock him,) "'I'm here to kill you! I'm a mass murderer so fear me!!' Am I right or am I right?"

Before he could respond, the fingers on their uninjured hand began to flick his dangling earring, on the right side of his face.

"You have an earring," they pointed out, almost stupidly. "Why don't you have one on the other side?"

He wasn't going to respond to any of this. In fact, he was toying with the knife in his pocket, gauging the right moment to strike with such an unpredictable opponent.

"Because I don't," he said dully. The waiter came, their glasses clinking with the ice inside as it toyed around in the liquid, gently being placed onto the counter.

"Fair enough," they smiled. "Okay sooooooo, wha'd'ya wanna talk 'bout? Gimme anything, I hate silence."

That made two of them.

"What is your ability?" he said rather bluntly, with a soft hum. He was in an optimal position to strike, only a few centimeters away, but he thought better than to attack without knowing such an important piece of information. Besides, with the way the conversation was going, they seemed to be eager to tell him the truth, for whatever reason, so he wouldn't lose anything to try.

After taking a long sip from their drink, they paused. "Nothing, I don't have one. You?"

The cautious man pressed further. "I find it hard to believe you haven't an ability in such a dangerous environment."

With a chuckle, they took another gulp from the glass. Then, turning to him with a relaxed heartbeat, they said very calmly and slowly, "I don't believe in needless deceit. Unlike you, Mr. Hide-my-knife-in-my-pocket-that-I'm-going-to-stab-you-with, I don't play dirty. So, when I say that I don't have an ability, don't be so surprised, yeah? The majority of people don't. I supposed when you're gifted, you don't quite try to sympathize with those unlike you."

So, they're aware of the weapon, yet made no move to dodge? Perhaps he's overthinking this, after all there are many people who seem invincible just because one doesn't act based on rational decisions, but based on their feelings. He should know, he spends most of his free time toying with said emotions and tearing them apart.

In one swift movement, he let his knife slide back down his pocket and removed both hands from the shadows.

"You sound genuine," he said, almost to himself.

"Well, I sure hope so," they laughed, despite nothing particularly funny being said. "I am being genuine, after all. You'll be able to bring me in and tie me up properly in a little while, so I'm going to enjoy the now while I still can, that's my philosophy!"

"Your philosophy is to drink something before you get kidnapped instead of trying to escape?" he repeated, incredulous. Perhaps their drink was laced with something, some kind of drug that drags your mood to a high. Even if he smelled no trace of anything other than [favorite drink], he concluded that this was the only reasonable explanation to this indecipherable human being.

Doubling over with a violent wheeze, they were (yet again) laughing at his words. They babbled a few words between gasps for breath, such as, "Didn't know you had a sense of humour!" and "Please, I can't breathe!" like he'd been a world renowned comedian. He almost felt the urge to clarify that he was attempting to degrade them, to criticize them and point out their stupidity, but one does not simply explain themselves when insulting another. Typically, their words transmitted the message well enough, but this was far from a typical recipient.

Finally recovering, they put on a mock angry face and waved around their finger. "You fiend, take it easy, I'm injured! At this rate, you'll make me pop my lungs out, ahah! Is that your master plan? To incapacitate me verbally? Bravo, I didn't expect that!"

"I wasn't..." he said, trailing off as he was thoroughly perplexed. What does one say in his situation? At this rate, his biggest concern was their oddities, not their capture.

On second thought, he nearly forgot that he was here to capture them.

"That's the beauty of it," they exclaimed, waving around their drink and spilling a considerable amount on his shirt accidentally with the grand gesture. "Unintentional torture! Wow, you must be even better than what I've heard about you, Saigay."

Not even bothering to correct them, he said, "And what exactly have you heard of me?"

"One, that you're very attractive. Two, you're ruthless when it comes to sadism. Three, you have exceptional intellect and four, you can hear heartbeats. Is that last one true? Wouldn't that make you a living polygraph?"

He was, but also wasn't, listening. The first thing they'd mentioned was his attractiveness, likely physical, but what an odd thing to point out, that is! Fighting down the odd feeling blooming in his chest with success, he finally mustered a response; an affirmation.

"That must be your ability," they pondered. "Isn't it? You'd be too strong if you had something else on top of this."

With a grin, Jouno explained, "It is not."

A melodramatic gasp could be heard echoing throughout the mostly empty room. "It isn't?? Gah, I must've been astronomically lucky to have escaped you last time!"

He'd've agreed had he not been promptly cut off by a rush of guesses regarding his ability. Most were way off, a select few absurd, and the entirety of them wrong. He felt his face contort into that of a confused expression when they suggested that he might be able to listen to people through walls, drawing an example by explaining that he might, and here the words were engraved into his mind, "listen in on people while they went to the bathroom, thus deducing whether their digestion was going well." Somehow, this had become a conversation in which they recounted the vivid tale of their daunting task of finding a bathroom once when they'd been in a 'foreign environment' - also known as the downtown region of the neighboring city during a negotiation.

All done and said, they'd contented themselves with a fairly one sided discussion, and he sipped down the Japanese whiskey he'd been handed. Upon noticing this, [l/n] stuck out both of their wrists as best as they could, pressed near one another as if pleading.

"Well, a deal's a deal! Take me away, Saigay! Ah! That rhymes! Maybe I should become a poet!" they giggled.

Jouno considered this for a long time, the topic that was on his mind ever since his arrival. The previous day, he'd told his boss that [l/n] couldn't be found, and that he must've made a mistake when saying that the doppelganger was a fake. This, of course, was untrue, but it also gave him leeway in case he found himself up against a formidable opponent. All of this meant that, if he did not turn [l/n] in to [c /o/n], he himself would not lose anything.

It wasn't sympathy, he told himself, that led him to get up and walk away as they left their arms extended. No, it was just an avoidance of unnecessary effort. If he walked away now, he would save himself the hassle of detaining them, all the while giving this person a second chance. Who knows, perhaps they'd be useful to him in the future.

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Jouno had not expected to be called by the lower ranking members of his organization early in the morning. What he had expected was to go to his office; not being told that there was a "package" waiting for him at the base.

He hadn't a clue what this package was. His first instinct was that it was a weapon of sorts, a bomb, anything that did damage. Although, it could very well also be a traitor who had been tied up and sent to him as a peace offering. The more he thought about it, the happier he was as he approached the location in which he was expected.

"J-Jouno-sama!" exclaimed one of the nervous underlings - a kid, really - holding a...

...A dog?

It barked at him, growling and struggling in the grasp of the two kids tasked with holding it down.

"What is this, a prank?" Jouno hissed, ready to make them pay before he even got the entire story.

One of them audibly gulped as their blood drained from their face, while the other stuttered an explanation. "N-No! We f-found this dog attached w-with a leash right in front of the building, and there was this attached to its collar," they said as they handed the executive a wrinkled piece of paper which, upon further inspection, turned out to hold an uncanny resemblance to a napkin from a nearby fast food place.

On it, there were an assortment of dots which were ink being pressed hard onto the fabric. Braille, he concluded. This person seemed not only to have specifically destined this to him, but desired to keep the contents for him only, rather than have someone read it for him.

On it, he managed to decipher the following:

'Dear Saigay,        Thanks for not trying to kill me!! I'm certain you're just a big softie heheh.         The doc told me I shouldn't be moving around too much after those wounds you gifted me, so now I'm kinda on house arrest lolol. Either way, I'd've loved to thank you personally but can't so I got you a present, its name is undecided yet BUTTTTTT they're a bitch just like you so I called them saigay jr. for the time being ♡ plus I figured you never had a guide dog, right?? So here you go!  XD

p.s. you never told me what kind of drink you liked. was I right about the whiskey? pls tell me!! i'll recover properly then find you, so you better have an answer by then >:( p.p.s. heheh peepee s p.p.p.s. you still haven't told me why your hair is dyed p.p.p.p.s. SAIGAY JR HAS YOUR MISSING EARRING BTW!!'

What on earth-

He certainly was no longer angry at this weird dog, but at the owner.

What made it worse was that the two kids had finally gotten over their fear of him and started calming down the dog (which he was not going to called Saigay Jr., much less Saigiku Jr.), noticing the earring; it was only a clip on that was obviously made up of cardboard clippings and poorly colored insides, as well as engravings that he could physically feel and recognize, but the resemblance to his own was noticeable. He wondered if this was an insult from [l/n] disguised as a present, but decided that there were too many exclamation marks for this to be anything resembling a threat. Not to mention the "XD".

Now, he had to figure out the dog. It's too much noise and too much effort, besides he doesn't like dogs all that much. He supposed he'll just have to snatch off that wretched earring and dispose of it before anyone makes the link and this haunts him, then kick it out. Surely it'll wander back off to its home or whatever. None of what followed would be his concern.

"Jouno s-sama, what should we do with the dog?" uneasily asked the kid. He shook his head, snatched the makeshift earring in one fell swoop and crumbled it into a ball in his hand.

"Take it outside, it isn't mine and I don't care about it. This was just a prank from someone I know."

With this, Saigay Jr. was released back onto the street, the collar still coated with braille dots that spell out its name.

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Once work was done, he decided to go for a walk, for some fresh air. However, Jouno was not expecting to hear panting coming from his side.

Saigay Jr. barked at him, happily wagging their tail and bouncing on their paws.

"What is wrong with you," he swore under his breath, then made his tone much vocal. "Go away! I don't want you here!"

None of this, obviously, got across to the dog, who was still following him closely.

"I said go away!" he yelled, a bit louder but also significantly harsher. "Stupid bitch."

It somehow reacted differently, barking much more avidly and skipping over to him with apparent excitement.

At this rate, he'd never get rid of the dog. He contemplated calling the pound and having someone take them in, but knew that this was likely an unnecessary step to take. Regardless, he'd have to get rid of it soon. All this barking is going to make him dizzy soon.

The sounds subsided as it transitioned from growling to a soft whine, choosing to lay down. It was then that he noticed a certain odor that he hadn't paid attention to before.

...Blood?

He almost could've sworn the dog was injured.

Jouno decided that it was not his concern and left it there, on the street, alone.

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The dog was certainly a stubborn little thing, as it was there when he came to work the next day.

He took out his gun, shot it in the air (loud noises hurt him a lot, but he knew the same applied to the animal) and hummed contently as it scurried off out of fear, out of his life.

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Saigay Jr. came back the very next day.

"Oh, will you fuck off already?" he groaned, taking out his gun yet again to fire a warning shot. Of course, he wasn't going to actually kill the beast, but he was reaching a point where he was very well considering it.

He stopped himself as he heard it whine, then lower itself to the ground, almost bowing to him in a human fashion.

"I'm not keeping you. [l/n] should've just left you in the dump where they found you," he said, realizing that he was talking to a literal dog.

He reached his hand out with a sigh, and began to pet it. This clearly made the dog calm down significantly, as it was finally getting recognition from the one it believed to be its owner, and so it didn't noticed as he curled his fingers around the leash, detached the ends of the collar then used it to attach the canine to a post.

As soon as it realized its situation, it began to growl, barking aggressively at him, then pouting and almost seeming like it was about to cry. Jouno didn't care, however, as he took out his burner phone and dialed animal patrol.

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Somehow, by some un-abiding law of the universe, Saigay Jr. was there, sitting happily, waiting for him outside of the building in which he operated.

Its leg and arm seemed to be getting better, he could tell, which made it likely that it wouldn't stop coming back to annoy him.

"It's like a miniature [l/n]," he laughed to himself.

Over time, he'd almost began to enjoy his daily encounters with the animal. He found it almost enjoyable to pet and ruffle its soft fur, eliciting the pleasant reaction of a calm dog.

Today, he decided, he would stop pushing it away. It's Houdini, this mynx, a Houdini who refused to disappear and could get out of any trap he laid for it.

"First off," he crouched down, stroking its ear, "ground rules. You are not my dog. I'm doing this to see if it'll get rid of you once you get bored with me. Got it?"

Ears drooping, Saigay Jr. seemed to be saying, "aww, but I wanted to be your dog!", to which Jouno replied with a look that said, "Don't make me get up and leave."

"Second rule, keep your piss and shit away from me, I'm not touching or smelling any of that. Third, you do as I tell you to. Understood?"

He wasn't expecting the dog to nod, but would've liked seeing it react other than burrowing its head further into the palm of his hand. Reluctantly, Jouno didn't resist, and sat there entertaining its need for physical touch for a few moments before springing to his feet.

"I'm going home. You are not allowed in my house," he warned, turning around.

Saigay Jr. followed him home anyways.

Somehow, as the day turned into night, he found himself helpless when it comes to resistance against this dog. It was thankfully very unproblematic, not making much of a mess when they arrived to the apartment which he lived in (it wasn't his, evidently. The criminal organization he worked for simply scared off all the tenants and let their members live there, unofficially.) He gestured to a corner for it to stay while he settled down, and stuck there for as long as he told it to.

As he took care of his own affairs, the time to rest finally came, and the dog didn't appear to have any plans to depart from its new best friend.

"Leave," he repeated forcefully, pointing to the door left ajar for it to crawl outside. "I said leave."

The message seemed to be getting across, as Saigay Jr. finally began to trek towards the entrance.

Then, it used its snout to shut the door, returning promptly and sitting down in front of him, waiting for some kind of reward.

"I'd really wish you'd die right now," he threw a hand on his face, tilting it upwards to display his frustration. "Fine. Let's play this the hard way."

He walked outside his apartment, knowing that the dog would follow, and shut the door behind them both. With a smirk, he activated his ability, disintegrating into the smallest specks and re-entering the room while sifting through the openings on the side of the door.

This way, he was back inside while the animal was whining from the outside, scratching occasionally to ask him to let them back in.

"Absolutely not," he laughed proudly, tossing himself into bed, trying to will himself to fall asleep before he'd begin to feel guilt about leaving the diligent and loyal gift from [l/n] outside.

A click, a creak and a shuffle later, and he heard a very clear panting noise.

Saigay Jr. had somehow managed to get inside.

"Fuck, you know what? I don't care anymore," groaned the tired man. "I give up. You win."

As he let himself doze off, the dog had crawled up onto the bed and softly laid its head on his chest, breathing steadily.

Jouno wouldn't admit that the sound and feeling was a nice change to his norm.

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At this point, Jouno had practically adopted Saigay Jr.

He didn't hear anything from [l/n], which he found odd since it had been over 6 months since he'd last seen them. He knew that he shouldn't be thinking about them; he'd only known the peculiar individual for a grand total of about 3 encounters, one of which he hadn't even interacted with them and the other two being attempted kidnapping and murder. The white-haired man knew that the only reason their image stuck in his head was due to this dog, this constant reminder of them, on top of their boisterous personality that he could've swore made him look at people like him (who had little to no personality, all business and no fun, as they might've said) differently.

The dog was a weird new addition to his life as well. He'd never seen it eat nor require to be walked. In fact, their relationship had gotten to the point where he was becoming more and more eager to be in its company; he woke up with Saigay Jr. (whose name he couldn't bring himself to change nor get out of his head), the both of them walked to his work, and then when he was done with his daily torturing, the loyal animal was waiting for him at the door of his apartment. He occasionally let it sleep in his bed, but mostly it found a small corner on the couch where both of them seemed content. It was a particularly odd situation; Jouno did not like pets. In fact, he didn't like people, so why would he expose himself to this small, fluffy thing for daily companionship? He didn't know, but found that there was no need to question a mutually beneficial situation.

Today, however, something odd had happened.

Saigay Jr. was not waiting in front of his door when he got back, covered in the heavy smell of blood for today's session was especially... artistic.

"Junior?" he found himself calling out, a name he never had the need to say out loud due to their chemistry. Yet, there seemed to be no movement nearby.

Weird, he thought, but there's no need to make a big deal out of this. The animal probably had to attend to its animal business, or whatever. Maybe the meeting that they always attend while he's at work was running late, he humored himself.

A few hours later, and nothing happened, no one showed up scratching at his front door or barking at it. He'd told himself that he was going to keep going on with his day as if nothing happened, but sleep was difficult to find because of the nagging feeling that something wasn't right.

It was then that he heard a knock at his door.

Not a scratch, but a knock.

He grabbed the firearm from the drawer next to his bed, and greeted the guest with a smile as he unlocked the door cautiously.

"Saigay!!"

He couldn't believe it; [l/n] was standing at his door.

"Sorry, sorry, I know this is sudden but at least be glad you were wearing pants when I knocked on the door," they spoke casually, letting themselves into his apartment and spreading themselves on the couch like they'd been living there for a while, in a particularly odd way that eerily resembled that of his dog, "but I was running late since my dad was telling me that I should come clean about this whole thing and bla bla, y'know that old man wisdom? You seem like you know what old geezers think. Anyways, Dad was givin' me the lecture and whatnot, so I told him that since I was mostly recovered, I might as well come and say hi without barking."

"Without... barking?"

He squinted his eyes even further as he tried to make sense of this.

"So you didn't gift me a dog, you..."

"Were the dog? Yup! The name's actually Soseki [y/n], and I've been a spy at [c /o/n] for about a year or two, can't remember too well since my time was cut short by a certain injury some pretty asshole gave me. Annoying, ain't it? I hate getting shot at. Being a dog is so much easier."

"You lied," he said, trying not to panic from the fact that he had been sharing his life for quite some time with another person in disguise, "when you said you didn't have an ability."

"Of course! Isn't that what everyone does? People lie tons, like when you told 'Saigay Jr.' that you didn't have a ticklish spot, only for me to find out that you have sensitive ears and chest. Very ticklish, especially when you think no one is watching."

He felt the blood rushing to his face while he swallowed dryly. What else had he done accidentally in all that time? He couldn't possibly have kept track of everything.

"Aw, he blushes," they laughed, tapping his nose before he could recover. "Relax, I'm not out to get you. I thought you were interesting and cute when you kidnapped me, so I thought I'd put you to the test for a bit while I recovered from my injuries. Okay, not so much a test, per se, but I wanted to hang out with you. I had a feeling you were lonely, and I was right!"

Heartbroken wasn't the right word to describe how he felt; what was running through his mind was a hellish mixture of embarrassment and fear of vulnerability. It's the sensation one feels when one is deceived and looks back on it, wondering how they could've been so foolish. He should've known, he kept telling himself.

"I get that you probably feel humiliated. Dad says that most people do, so I've just gotta smile and remind them that I've got a terrible memory," they laughed, reading his mind. "Maybe once you get over it you'll come to realize that I wasn't lying about wanting your friendship."

With a timid smile, nothing like what their usual bubbly personality would typically make, they bowed gently to him, seemed to consider leaning in to hug him, then decided that this all would be too much at once.

[y/n] left, hesitantly adding, "Same place... tomorrow?"

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Why had Jouno showed up at the bar where they had originally been introduced, all those months ago, when he'd been so foolishly deceived?

Perhaps it was as he kept repeating in his head, that he was there to pick up the pieces of his torn dignity. Or maybe it was to finally kill them and receive the reward on their head.

Or was it to accept their offer?

He reassured himself that he couldn't possibly, that people were terrible and he couldn't let himself get soft with this one or else he'd become mushy and weak. He wasn't sure what terrified him so much about that idea, but he didn't even consider it as an option.

As always, the bells jingled as he entered, but there was no shout of his mispronounced name.

Nevertheless, he took a seat at the counter, ordering the whiskey not because he wanted some, but because he subconsciously attributed it to this location and time, despite not having an overwhelming number of memories here. He supposed that certain memories can be short but impact you more than you could ever fathom.

Even while he waited, he'd began to feel the pit of his stomach drop, like he had a cavity in his chest in place of a soul. Jouno hadn't realized up until now how accustomed he'd grown to a persistent joyful presence in his life, be it [y/n] under human or canine form.

The waiter returned, placing his order against the counter, and murmuring in a melodic voice, "I didn't expect you to come."

He didn't have to glance upwards to know it was [y/n], and so kept his gaze downcast.

"I'd say I'm sorry but I don't quite see anything to apologize for," they said, taking a sip out of his drink, lips lingering at the rim of the glass. "I had a lot of fun in the past few months, haven't you? My approach might've been a bit cruel, but think of it as Karma for shooting me, twice. This way, we're even! Wha'd'ya say? We good?"

Jouno's mouth betrayed him as he snatched the cup from them, chugged it all down at once, then said, "yeah, why not?"

Immediately, their heart rate sped up from excitement, and they leapt across the counter to trap him in a bear hug. Trying to resist but knowing there was no point, he eventually melted into their embrace.

Pulling away, they giddily babbled, "Okay, so now that you've forgiven me, I feel like it's a great time to mention that I've seen you strip multiple times and I would've told you that it was weird to change your clothes in front of a dog but I didn't know how to tell you or look away without acting weird so I just went with it and I feel like maybe I should compliment your stellar abs while I'm rambling like this but complimenting you will probably not do much good so how about I just offer you another drink and we forget this whole thing?"

Jouno cursed under his breath, nearly chuckling but not quite, realizing that they were right. "Fuck, what else did I do?"

"Well, I've got to tell you that your snoring is adorable, but you roll a lot in your sleep and that, mister, is something we need to take care of."

For the first time since he could remember, Jouno laughed a genuine laugh, not laced with malice or sugarcoated, as he listened to [y/n] vividly recounting their numerous embarrassing tales of him, only to be teased back for their dog habits like the panting and tail wagging. He'd've thought that the drinks were making him loose, but [y/n] had actually told the waiter to give them both multiple shots of apple juice.

As the night progressed, Jouno slowly found out that he'd opened himself up a lot more than he was comfortable admitting. Yet, this made him both want to retreat and lock [y/n] out of his life and invite them into his daily rituals, to never let them go. On the other hand, [y/n] had always found him to be a wonderful person, and only became further entranced as they watched him operate on a daily basis.

Somehow, Sweet fell in love with Sour, and Sour fell in love with Sweet.

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Another set of months later, Jouno returned from a particular mission given to him in the middle of the night, exhausted, ready to do nothing expect collapse onto the bed and sleep.

He was practically dragging his feet as he approached the door of his apartment, inserted the keys lazily and opened it. As always, his partner called out for him.

"Sai!" they said, skipping up to the door and noticing his beat up expression. "Damn, what did they force you to do this time?"

He shook his head before burying it into the crook of their neck and letting his hands dangle by their side. "The guy I had to interrogate was an opera singer, lungs of fucking steel." Strands of his hair were brushing by their skin, and his lips were murmuring against the warmth. "He wouldn't stop screaming my ears off, even with the gag."

Unable to contain their laughter, they poorly comforted him with a rub on the back while shaking from giggles. "My poor baby, today hasn't been your day, has it?"

Almost like handling an infant, they snuck their arms under his own and half-carried him to the bedroom. Getting in with him and tenderly placing a kiss on his cheek, [y/n] traced out random features on his face with their fingertip, hoping to soothe his body with touch.

"You smell terribly by the way," they said sarcastically in a deep sultry voice. "Do I kick you out to sleep on the couch or are you gonna take a shower? I can smell the blood on you, darling."

Half-asleep already, he slurred a, "Tomorrow...", followed by, "It's not my fault you've got the nose of a dog."

"You aren't any better," [y/n] teased, rolling over on top of him and kissing his sensitive lips with the delicacy of a flower blooming in spring snow.

"Just... let me sleep," he groaned, waving them away like a fly, only to have his hand caught by their own.

"Mnn, fine," murmured the [h/c] haired individual, gazing at him softly with heavy eyelids, as mesmerized with him as always. "Want something fluffy to snuggle into?"

"No, stay the way you are."

With another kiss that lasted a bit longer and in which Jouno participated weakly, [y/n] rolled back and cradled his head, bringing it onto their chest.

"'Night, [y/n]," he managed to say, shifting himself so that he was curled up against their figure. After a brief pause, he shuffled himself again under the covers, resting his head on their body. With their chest steadily rising and falling in sync with their consistent breathing, he found that he slept so much better.

They smiled gently.

"Goodnight, Saigiku."

[princeoferror]

Urbosa's Self Care Day

This is as adult as my content gets icl lol, I'll be so embarrassed if I do anything more eeee

I love Urbosa a lot so this piece is a bit of a treat for myself. I wanted birth of Venus vibes :3c

Commission info | Buy a Print! | portfolio | Twitter | insta | Discord server

Progress pics below if you're interested!

Sketch:

When I was sketching this the queerness in me possessed me and I got this, it's also slightly inspired by that bath scene with Nadia from the Arcana if anyone's played that

Line art:

Line art does it's basic job of highlighting the main shapes for the focal point

Flats:

The colouring on this piece is pushed towards an orange direction (so the blue water can compliment that). This gives a sunset vibe because we all know what happens when the sun sets amirite?- sleeping!

Finished render:

So far this is the piece I'm happiest with for the outcome. Maybe I'm biased cuz it's my wife but also because the softness of the background looks really nice, the wet skin look was done well even with this more limited shading style, and I love how her sheer robe turned out.

Lemme know what you think of this one, if you wanna help out reblogging would do wonders. I also do commissions if you wanna message me about that

My next post is for Four Swords of Vaati and Zelda so follow so you don't miss it!

Oki bieee

[episims]

Sara "Woah. This place is so much nicer than when Cloud lived here."

Irida "Tch... I'm sorry. I've forgotten to make my bed again."

Sara "Eh, what kind of person even makes them? It's healthier to air the mattress."

Sara "Hey, that map! I always wondered what's it about."

Irida "Oh. It shows the evolution of ocean temperatures at the military's measurement stations... at some point in history. Hmh. It must sound weird to you, but I find it pretty."

Sara "Nah, I get it. Really makes you think how huge the ocean is, right? At least that's what I thought when I looked at it as a kid."

Irida "It's huge, indeed. And yet, so distant."

Sara "Aw, I should've realized. You miss it...?"

Irida *hums* "I do, some. But more than the ocean, I miss those who live there. It helps that I've made friends here, too."

Sara "Um, yeah, about that... I know I said we should think the not-just-friends option through. That's the mature thing to do, right?"

Irida "I'm in no hurry. I won't rush anything you're uncomfortable with."

Sara "See? You're the nicest person I know. And you're so damn pretty, too. So I was just thinking that if you ever want to, uh, totally casually, kiss me, or something... I'm not uncomfortable with that-"

Sara "—man. You really do handle your teeth well."

Irida "Tch, sorry. Too eager?"

Sara "No no no, I like eager!! I wouldn't think it was too eager even if we, like. Made out on your bed...?"

Irida "Are you sure? I won't lie; the teeth are tricky, sometimes."

Sara "Then we should totally practice the technique, amirite??"

[thyfleshc0nsumed]

sex confession:

I haven't been able to orgasm since bottom surgery and it's making me feel a nonzero amount of regret over the whole thing...

like I know I'm so fortunate to have gotten that done it's just like. I wanna come!!!! I miss that feeling so much.

but like what can ya do amirite?

That sounds super duper difficult and complex emotionally! I hope you're able to find some pleasure with it soon

[lovearne]

Village

Ghost (Simon riley) x reader (platonic)

Non gendered trans reader

No use of y/n, no mention of sex or gender

All of my fics and my whole page is 18+ only, if you are a child leave. I deserve a safe space to express myself, all blogs under 18 or no age will be blocked. Let me enjoy my experience safely on the internet, thank you.

I needed to get how I currently feel out. I know a lot of trans and non-cis people can relate. So I wrote this to be viewed by anybody who isn't cis. I do user the term transgender so please be aware of that if you don't identify as trans.

This fic is very loosely inspired by my resonation with 'the village by wrabble' there are some lyrics used as dialog.

Warnings: transphobia, Christian typical trans and homophobia, reader is suicidal, reader self harms, mostly Ghosts pov.

Word count: 1.3k

He was worried.

He was very rarely worried. Hardly hardly ever worried.

But he finds himself worried sick over you.

He'd watched for years as a friend as you'd gotten more and more tense. You'd started with bright eyes and a light soul. He'd found it irritating. He found you obnoxious. He hated obviously happy and bouncy people.

But after a particularly long break, coming back from his leave time, he'd seen you going into the mess hall for breakfast. You were still in the government issued pyjamas.

He found that strange.

It didn't take him long to see that your eyes had died a little. He'd clocked it instantly. The way you carried yourself as if you were surviving out of necessity instead of enjoyment.

You'd stopped the quirky nature you had. Your heart was obviously not behind anything anymore.

This also made you better in the field.

This made you harder, it seemed.

He didn't care.

At least he didn't want to.

He wanted to be able to say that you didn't worry him. But you were starting to.

That irritated him.

The last time he'd worried he'd gotten his people killed.

It wasn't until years later, and multiple leave periods where you'd stay at base the whole time that he was officially worried.

You'd lost all of it. All need for self preservation. All want to keep going.

The last mission the two of you endured you'd gambled the hardest with your life than he'd ever seen before. Well, besides that in himself.

You'd gladly throw away your whole life, just for the pain to go away.

It also didn't take much for him to notice things.

Self inflicted wounds.

He knew what those looked like.

He knew what those felt like.

He knew to some semblance what hell you'd put yourself through.

Although he didn't want to, he decided he'd needed to speak to you.

He spent the walk to your barrack going over the symptoms he'd seen you outwardly show, and some he'd seen through your mask.

The sharp knock his knuckles made on your door shook him. There was something he was missing.

"Lieutenant Ghost," you'd started,voice a little slurred, indulging in a little contraband on your off hours. "How may I help you sir?" Your voice was quickly slipping between professional and slurred.

"Have you been drinking?" You nodded.

"As much as I can." He nodded. "I know you have to write me up for it. Go ahead."

"No, instead of that, you're gonna talk to me." You rolled your eyes.

"Fuck," you sighed. "fine. Want some scotch?" He answered you and you let him into your room.

The two of you sat there, occasional sips from you with your alcohol and the steady sound of the tap that leaked just enough to lull you to sleep at night.

"So, Lt. Why not just ask me." He sat a little straighter to look at you. You nod. "Go on." You pause. "I'm curious as to why you'd even come here."

"I've noticed a change in you since you started." You nod.

"Yeah, war. Amirite?" You try to joke, bitterly.

"Not quite." You shoot your eyebrows up.

"Well, then what do you think?" He sighs, trying to remain a caring superior.

"I think that if I searched your garbage trail, I'd find bottles of empty alcohol." You nod. "I think that if I went to the general, he'd throw you home with 'dishonourable discharge' slapped on your file." You nod again.

"So that's what this is. An intervention?" You chuckle with dry humour.

"I didn't know about the drinking until you opened the door." His head shook. "But addiction isn't surprising. I just know it's not the only thing going on." He breathes. "I'm not pressuring you, I'm just trying to help you."

"So you walk in here wanting answers?" He nods. "OK, ask your questions." He tilts his head, eyes narrowing. "I've already been disowned. Worst that can happen is you transfer me." Oh. That's why you hadn't left base.

"OK. The first leave after you started. You came home early." You laughed again. This time in displeasure.

"Yep, yep I did." Your eyes had sunken.

"Why?"

"Being disowned and thrown out will do that." He nodded. "Next question."

"Why did you do that?"

"Hmm?"

"Why did you take my place the last mission?" You shrugged.

"Didn't want you to die, I guess."

"Or you wanted to." Oh. You pushed a breath through your nose.

"Yeah, that's been a constant thought since puberty." He nods.

"Why don't you wear the cross?"

"What?" He leans his head forward.

"That cross necklace you had. Johnny has one like it." You laughed amused.

"Stopped believing in a puritan hypercult." He huffed at that.

"Why?" You looked at him.

"Why not? They are just a bunch of prices using the fact that people are afraid of death to push hatred into the world. I can't be loyal to a God that shuns people for things they can't help. Or a religion that stripped people of rights and culture. I couldn't do it anymore." He nods.

"So, why does he shun you?" You shake your head.

"Why does he shun you?" You retort.

"I kill people that probably don't deserve it. I leave a trail of bodies of coworkers and innocents behind me. I'm… fucked up. Twisted, you may call it." You emphasise with him.

"Heavens operated anyways."

"Your turn." He said. You gulp.

"I'm not," you start.

"Take your time. I'm here to help."

"I'm not who you see." He nods.

"OK." You close your eyes.

"It's like wearing a costume. And I hate wearing it, but no matter what I do, I can't get it off, I can't change it, I can't take away the parts I like and put on the parts I do like. It's like I'm constantly screaming, wanting out." He nods again. "I'm transgender." He nods again.

"There is nothing wrong with you." He returns. You nod.

"My parents think so, my ex religion thinks so, strangers think so. They'd rather me die than be trans." Then it clicked.

"It's one page in the Bible. One page."

"Christians aren't so smart, Lt. They pick and choose which pages to listen to." You laugh, butter again.

"One page in the Bible isn't worth a life." You close your eyes. "There's nothing wrong with you, there's something wrong with them."

"Why does it feel that way then? Why do they do that? Why do they-"

"Did you know in the wild birds will kill birds who are too colourful or not colourful enough?" You shake your head. "Society hates different. They want to stomp it down and ruin it. But you can't let that happen." You shake your head again.

"Some days it's harder." He nods.

"I know. Healing isn't a straight line." You nod. He puts his hand comfortingly on your shoulder.

"Now, anything you need for your transition if you choose to do so, I will ensure you have access to. And anything you need for yourself I will also organise. But first. You need to go to rehab. I will not allow you to be an alcoholic and drink your days away."

"That's a little hypocritical Lieutenant.

He laughs. And your eyes brighten.

Months later, your eyes and attitude are continuing to lighten.

He finds himself less worried with each passing day.

You're one life he's saved that he will always hold close in his heart. You were now his found family. You were as much his kid as you were his sibling. And he'd treat you as such.

Until the day he died.

And you couldn't ask for a better brother.

[apocalypticavolition]

Let's (re)Read The Great Hunt! Chapter 37: What Might Be

Everyone has that moment that they've looked back on and wonder, "What if I'd done it differently?" Sometimes we can move on, put what-ifs to rest, but sometimes that question will haunt us for the rest of our lives. Don't let this post be that moment. Don't let future you think to themself, an hour from now, "What if I just hadn't spoiled the whole Wheel of Time series for myself by reading this post? What if I'd enjoyed the books by reading them without spoilers?" Don't click "Keep reading" unless you already know all the spoilers and thus will not forever be wondering.

(And yet... perhaps if you do not choose to spoil yourself, years from now you will look back on this moment and wonder what might have happened if you had.)

This chapter has a Portal Stone icon because we're doing one of the best chapters in the whole damn series.

“We stood it upright,” Alar said, “when we found it many years ago, but we did not move it. It . . . seemed to . . . resist being moved.”

Probably the Stones are all entangled in some sort of higher dimensional quantum process, on one part just to be able to function at all and on another to ensure that no one warps off to an alternate world where it turns out that the Stone was tossed into a volcanic caldera a few years back and thus they instantly die. I wonder if there's wiggle room to allow stuff like Stones falling in one world but not another, or if they're all so tied up that reorienting it in one world caused it to be fixed in all of the others too.

Forgive us for our lack of ceremony in leaving you, but the Wheel waits for no woman.

Since I've given Jordan a bit of guff here and there for enforcing his own gender beliefs on the settings, point here for having Verin use "woman" as the default term. Hashtag HER-story, amirite?

Ingtar’s back stiffened. “I hold back at nothing. Take us to Toman Head or take us to Shayol Ghul. If the Horn of Valere lies at the end, I will follow you.”

Really you might argue that this here was the real moment of redemption for Ingtar and that all the rest is just the formality of seeing it through.

I have never used a Stone; that is why your use is more recent than mine.

"Bitch I'm just covering so no one has to know you're the Dragon Reborn. Do the plot thing already!"

Also I kinda feel that Verin is really stretching the oaths she's pretending to have here.

What would I not give to talk with this girl of yours? Or better, to put my hands on her book. It is generally thought that no copy of Mirrors of the Wheel survived the Breaking whole. Serafelle always tells me there are more books that we believe lost than I could credit waiting to be found.

Honestly, even though rumors are so rarely right in this world, I think popular opinion is correct and none survive. I also find it pretty doubtful that there's that many lost books left to be recovered at this point: three and a half thousand years is a long-ass time, too long for most forms of writing to survive.

Apparently, not every Stone connects to every world, and the Aes Sedai of the Age of Legends believed that there were possible worlds no Stones at all touched.

Among others, any timeline where a Portal Stone was never constructed would by definition remain off of the network. I wonder how they decide what Stones connect to what, though. Was it perhaps based on what ifs related to the nearby areas? What other worlds were missing?

With one finger she outlined a rectangle containing eight carvings that were much alike, a circle and an arrow, but in half the arrow was contained inside the circle, while in the others the point pierced the circle through. The arrows pointed left, right, up and down, and surrounding each circle was a different line of what Rand was sure was script, though in no language he knew, all curving lines that suddenly became jagged hooks, then flowed on again.

I expect that these worlds have extremely non-Euclidean geometries at play, based on how they were used to make the Ways. Likely the arrow has something to do with a physical force, probably gravity.

As my father would have said, it’s time to roll the dice.

Headcanon: Mat is Verin's dad reborn.

“I am Rand al’Thor,” he growled. “I am not the Dragon Reborn. I won’t be a false Dragon.” “You are what you are. Will you choose, or will you stand here until your friend dies?”

As I've said before, the one thing Rand's not allowed to do is stand still: every time he does the pressure only mounts until he has to act. Verin at least offers the kindness of spelling it out for him.

The flame consumed fear and passion and was gone almost before he thought to form it. Gone, leaving only emptiness, and shining saidin, sickening, tantalizing, stomach-turning, seductive. He . . . reached for it . . . and it filled him, made him alive. He did not move a muscle, but he felt as if he were quivering with the rush of the One Power into him.

After all this time, I still can't decide if being a channeler would be really awesome or really awful.

“Father!” Rand screamed. Clawing his belt knife from its sheath, he threw himself over the table to help his father, and screamed again as the first sword ran through his chest.

Though of course the Mirror Worlds take from the Many Worlds Theory, we must remember that they're not actually the same. The Many Worlds Theory is a way of resolving one of the fundamental mysteries of quantum mechanics. When not observed, particles don't have discrete locations but probabilites of being here, there, or even over there. These odds are called a "waveform". When observed, the waveform collapses and the particle is only in one of those places. The thing scientists don't get yet is the mechanic of that collapse nor the reason. Many Worlds Theory says "The collapse is an illusion. All of those possibilities exist somewhere but since we can only exist in one place we can only ever observe one possibility. All worlds continue on, none with more value or reality than any other except in that those who exist in only one must favor where they are."

This is not what the Mirror Worlds are. The Pattern of Ages is a specific framework which dictates one reality (T'A'R) reigns supreme above all the others, and that among these the closest reflection (the Prime Reality) is inherently more valid than the increasingly distorted copies.

In Many Worlds theory, one can discuss the relative probabilties of different timelines. One location for a particle might have had a 2/3rds chance of being the real one while the other two were each only a sixth. Amid the Mirror Worlds, there's no such thing. T'A'R and the Prime reality each have a 100% chance of being true and all other worlds have a 0% chance of happening.

That said, the Wheel does seem to think some Mirror Worlds are more plausible than others, and I think Rand's journey is - at least at first - moving in order of descending plausibility. Him dying immediately when the story began is a very "likely" outcome - to some degree more likely than other potential deaths later in the timeline just because in each of those scenarios Rand had a little more experience to keep him going.

There was a year when neither merchants nor peddlers came, and when they returned the next they brought word that Artur Hawkwing’s armies had come back, or their descendants, at least.

It's bizarrely heartening to think that even the Seanchan invasion will completely miss that the Two Rivers exists.

Also note that this world - where Rand is never found by Fain or Moiraine and never leaves as a result - seems next most likely amid the categories.

Egwene grew frightened when the moods were on him, for strange things sometimes happened when he was at his bleakest—lightning storms she had not heard listening to the wind, wildfires in the forest—but she loved him and cared for him and kept him sane, though some muttered that Rand al’Thor was crazy and dangerous.

I wonder what happened to this Egwene that she accepts the Two Rivers life without complaint while Rand is forever ranting about how life should be. I also do think that the haters should remember that this is the "no inciting incident" default Egwene: a caring person who stays with Rand until the end. The pair grow apart because of outside forces, not because Egwene is fundamentally flawed as a person.

Women came, too, shouldering what weapons they could find, marching alongside the men. Some laughed, saying that they had the strange feeling they had done this before.

This is both nice foreshadowing for how the Two Rivers folk will respond to the real Shadowspawn invasion and another hint of the old blood amid the people. It would not be surprising at all if many of them were truly the last of Manetheren reborn.

Tam tried to console Rand when Egwene took sick and died just a week before their wedding.

The nextmost implausible sort of world: no inciting incident and Rand survives his channeling sickness but Egwene does not. Being a slightly mainer character than she is, it tracks that this is more plausible than a world where he dies young while she stays on track to be Wisdom.

Elayne did not look at him, of course; she married a Tairen prince, though she did not seem happy in it.

I'd be upset too in this position. What a strange world this is, that a gal who should be the first Aes Sedai queen in centuries should end up married to anyone from Tear. What the fuck is going on at the White Tower to lead to this? I would guess that the reason Moiraine didn't find Rand is that Siuan isn't Amyrlin and that whoever is in charge instead has run the place into the ground.

Also, assuming "prince" means "son of a High Lord or Lady", if not "High Lord" directly, I wonder which horrible family Elayne is stuck with.

He knew he was mad, and did not care. A wasting sickness came on him, and he did not care about that, either, and neither did anyone else, for word had come that Artur Hawkwing’s armies had returned to reclaim the land.

1. It seems that this Rand is doomed to never be able to complete his character development without the actual plot happening.

2. What's delayed the Seanchan by years if not a decade? How far back does this timeline's divergence have to be to account for all of this?

Many of the people of Caemlyn had fled already, and many counseled the army to retreat further, but Elayne was Queen, now, and vowed she would not leave Caemlyn. She would not look at his ruined face, scarred by his sickness, but he could not leave her, and so what was left of the Queen’s Guards prepared to defend the Queen while her people ran.

I expect that this was foreshadowing Caemlyn's importance in the Last Battle, an importance that Sanderson didn't fully follow up on. Even in this life, Rand finds himself head of an army by Elayne's side leading a desperate last stand.

I have won again, Lews Therin. Flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker.

There's some great details in the paragraph that precedes this bit, much too much to analyze. It says a great deal about the central nature of Rand to the Pattern that he can have so many bizarre outcomes: I expect no one else in the party had anywhere near so much variety in their lives.

We also get confirmation that Rand is Aiel, which is nice, though it's sad that the closest thing to a reference Aviendha gets in this procession is "women he had never seen before".

Of course, Rand's lovers aren't the important part here. Elayne and Min get mentioned but it is Egwene who receives a similar multi-faceted fate. So often she is a central figure in his life; she can't help but be his opposite even when their lives have gone horribly off-script.

And of course, our iconic line. The Dark One wins again and again, but like I already said: none of these worlds have even a 0.00000000000000000000000000000001 percent chance of happening. None of these victories matter in the slightest.

“Does it surprise you that your life might go differently if you made different choices, or different things happened to you? Though I never thought I—Well. The important thing is, we are here. Though not as we hoped.”

I desperately wish I had the slightest idea what Verin had seen in her procession. Were there worlds where she avoided the Black Ajah altogether, or worlds where she happily threw in with them? Maybe a world where she poisoned Cadsuane, or one where she was in Moiraine's place and threw Lanfear through the twisted red door?

You should not have tried to bring us directly here. I don’t know what went wrong—I don’t suppose I ever will—but from the trees, I would say it is well into late autumn.

Presumably it's the nature of those arrow worlds. I've joked about the Ways being akin to the inside of a black hole and suggested that they had strange geometry and I expect this is proof. They did come instantly but it also took four months by another spacetime's reckoning.

“Rand, I’d never tell anyone about—about you. I wouldn’t betray you. You have to believe that!”

It's true! Mat doesn't do that in this reality and none of the other ones count. But I do think he was tempted at points. Not enough to go through with it (and he had no real opportunity to do so), but still. Now though, that door is permanently closed.

The curly-haired youth dropped his hands from his face with a sigh. Red marks scored his forehead and cheeks where his nails had dug in. His yellow eyes hid his thoughts.

Wolf boy here probably had one hell of a time in the pack. Or perhaps he just got out of that weird timeline where he mistakes Laila for a Trolloc.

Rand backed away when she reached for him. “Don’t be foolish,” she told him. “I don’t want your help,” he said quietly. “Or any Aes Sedai help.” Her lips twitched. “As you wish.”

1. I expect that nearly everyone has now forgotten a good deal of the experience thanks to Verin's help, which ironically helps Rand even though he doesn't want it.

2. Verin must really chafe at the sheer ingratitude of this, considering just how much she's doing for the dumb boy.

3. That's the end of our chapter folks! Next time: Remember Egwene? She still exists!

[david-talks-sw]

Kinda embarrassing that people demonize the jedi (yknow, the ultimate good guys) by falling for in universe propaganda...like how do you miss the point by that much?

Y'know... that's not even the weirdest thing to me. I already shared my thoughts about why some fans might just be biased against the Jedi from the get-go and how the Prequels not being centered on the Jedi may have contributed to that bias.

But I've seen the argument be made on Instagram that

"Bail Organa kidnapped Leia".

And like... y'know, I'm sure he and the Naberries never signed any legal documents... but is this really the hill to die on?

Bail is arguably THE most morally pure character in all of Star Wars and you're gonna burn him on this technicality? Really?! "Sure, he's hiding a girl who isn't his own from space Satan, but he didn't fill out the proper forms so fuck him"?

What's next?

Luke is guilty of animal cruelty for mutilating a Wampa without a hunting license and a license to carry a lightsaber?

Leia should be jailed because she choked Jabba but NOT in self-defense?

Wait, I got it. Chewie owes his son years of child support for being an absentee father.

But let's look past this franchise. How about Marvel:

You could argue "Spider-Man is a friggin' bully, he's always berating his opponents, making jokes at their expense, and most of them usually break out and cause more death and damage simply to take revenge, and if we wanna get technical, that's all on his head."

"Falcon is morally reprehensible for killing these guys in a foreign country, without a badge or any sort of legality. He should serve multiple life sentences."

"Captain America is some kind of war criminal for stabbing this dude in the back, even though he clearly gave up and just wanted to live."

Disney: "Mufasa is a tyrant who specifically discriminates against and hunts down a poorer class/species because *gasp* they're hungry and don't meet his standards of civilization. What an asshole, amirite?"

Naruto: "Itachi Uchiha is an ego-driven psycho who murdered his whole clan, (a clan who had been slandered and discriminated against by a fascist government, and literally segregated to one single neighborhood) then inflicted MASSIVE psychological and emotional damage on his brother, aged 11, who went on to waste his teen years on a fruitless quest for revenge because Itachi was too much of a coward to finish the job."

Dragon Ball: "The Z warriors are responsible for every earthling suffering from an onslaught of PTSD (because you can't tell me that everybody being slaughtered by [insert villain here], seeing heaven, settling into heaven and waking up in a crater alongside everybody you saw die before you, over and over for decades, won't leave a mark)."

Hell, you could argue "the Powerpuff Girls are child soldiers."

These are all very uncharitable views, stated in very bad faith.

And we know this because the narrative never portrays these points as problems. So we're not meant to see these characters this way.

You know why? Because it's fiction.

In the specific case of Star Wars, it's a fairy tale in space, it's mythology reinvented. The more detailed real-world logic you apply to it, the further away you get from the point.

It's meant to make you feel emotions and ponder on themes, first and foremost.

If you're wondering about how many taxes Han Solo needs to pay every year and to how many planetary governments, then either the film isn't doing its job right, or you're missing the point.

Hell, it's not just "missing" the point in some of these cases, it's seeing it and fucking Tokyo Drifting around the point until it becomes a speck in your rear-view mirror.

[silmforrookies]

Chapter I. Ainulindalë, or The Gang Creates a World

The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. (©Douglas Adams)

Alright, so if anyone asks, blame it all on Eru.

("With all my due respect, Noldo," you may ask, "are you already making me learn names? In this economy?" Yes. Yes I do. This is Silmarillion, prepare to suffer.)

Anyways, back to the start. You see, in the beginning there was Eru Ilúvatar, aka "The One", aka "Dad Of The Millenia", also known as "God", and in the beginning, there was absolutely nothing. Zero. Nill. Nada. Only the Void.

Eru's been chilling in the Void for absurd amounts of time, unknown and unbothered, untill the loneliness became so dull he said, "you know what? Maybe kids are the flowers of life". And so, Eru created the Ainur, and now he was chilling in the Void with thousands and thousands of eldritch abominations who all had a weird obsession with music.

The kids, of course, started making friends, organizing in groups and trying out various music styles, but, since no music styles were yet created, they... didn't really know what to do with themselves? So they lingered in the Void, all confused and figuring themselves out, sometimes trying to sing, sometimes listening to others sing, and sometimes just cuddling with Eru because Eru was big and strong and steady in this scary world of everdeveloping musical styles and tastes.

Oh yeah. Eru.

You see, Eru knew how to sing. And after the initial amusement over his kids' behaviour and slowly developing social skills passed, he gathered them together and said,

"To hell with sheet scores!" Eru proclaimed. "To hell with music theory! My children, by dearests, my beloveds, improvisation is the way to go! Listen and do like me!"

(The Silmarillion, Eru Ilúvatar, probably)

And so Ilúvatar sang, and since he was a God and also Allpowerful, that was the most beautiful song ever created; and it was so breathtaking, and its ending was so perfect, that the Ainur fell silent - until Eru told them to start singing, to weave their own Melodies around his grand and flawless Theme. Diversity-in-unity, amirite.

And the Ainur sang.

It was a great, mighty Song, consisted of many motives and of many Singers. The Ainur sang, pouring their very souls into it, rising their voices and mending them into a wonderful Harmony, brought together with Eru's Theme; and it was so beautiful it filled the Void, and the Void was no more - and it is said that never again did the Ainur create something compared in greatness to this.

And then, Melkor happened. If anyone asks, blame it all on Melkor. You see, Melkor decided that Eru's Theme wasn't enough. That maybe, just maybe, Eru missed something that Melkor can find and weave into his Melody. Melkor's an artist, it's his vision! He can claim artistic liberties and wander a bit off, right? Just so his Music is a tiny little bit louder. Just so he's heard above the others. Just so he makes sure Iluvatar knows Melkor disagrees with him on certain points.

And so, Melkor created a Discord, that was gradually growing louder and louder. That, of course, brought a certain confusion between the Ainur, and some of them stopped singing entirely. Others, though, said "yo, this guy SLAPS" and joined Melkor on the discord.

And what about Eru? Well, Eru's all for artistic liberties! But, come on, Melkor isn't Eru's only child. Melkor is one of thousands! And currently half of them are either Very Confused or going absolute badongas with the Discord. So Eru, as the good father he is, rises from his throne and sings a new Melody, gently correcting Melkor's, erm, "artistic liberties" and asking him to play nice and get along with his countless siblings. Melkor, of course, responds to this with chaos and outrage of an eldest child who never truly got the meaning of being the "eldest", and starts telling Eru that no, actually you're in the wrong, old man, and I will do what I want. At this point Eru thinks he should've invented discipline before inventing music and sings a new Melody, now with a stern look on his face.

Unfortunately, the Discord grew into something that could be hardly called "music" anymore, just banging and screaming and smashing of endlessly repeating sounds, and Melkor doesn't plan to stop anytime soon! So Eru, who by this time is absolutely pissed, grabs the Music and ceases it with one last perfect-wonderful-youknowthedrill accord. Everything falls silent, and the Ainur look at each other, wondering what in the everloving Void just happened.

"Great are the Ainur," said Eru, "and Melkor is the greatest of them! Now listen here, you little shits, I feel some of you didn't get the drill..."

(The Silmarillion, Eru Ilúvatar, probably)

So anyways, Eru has two rules:

He is the source of the Music, allknowing, allpowerful, allforseeing etc and no matter how hard certain individuals try, they won't be able to create anything outside his Vision™

Everyone who tries to break the first rule Will experience the Narrative and Will become an instrument for Eru's perfect plan

And, while Melkor was busy unlocking new emotions called "Embarassment" and "Anger", Eru showed the Ainur the world they created - Arda, and also introduced them to Eruhini - Children of Ilúvatar (Elves and Men), showed them the potential for creation and committed some other minor propaganda with intention to get the Ainur interested in developing and fleshing out the world - because, in reality, it wasn't yet created and was but a vision. So. Yeah.

Some of the Ainur were intrigued. They went into Arda and committed themselves to it, shaping the world for the Children of Ilúvatar. One of them - also the greatest of them - was Melkor.

Here's what you need to know about Melkor's motivation:

Unfortunately, other Ainur weren't fans of Melkor getting Unlimited Power™ and having him as their King, so Melkor splitted from them - first peacefully, to do his own thing on the other end of Arda, but then, envying other Ainur's achievents, started causing problems on purpose - aka destroying things, leveling mountains to the ground, draining out the oceans, creating volcanoes and indulging in other vandalic activities. And so it was for Eru-knows-how-long: Melkor destroys, Ainur create; Melkor trashes the place, Ainur clean it out; Melkor behaves like a brat, Ainur grit their teeth and deal with the mess.

Of course, with Melkor getting in the way of other Ainur's creative process, the world couldn't be shaped in the way Ainur wanted or the way they intended it in their own Song; but slowly, Arda was becoming more and more beautiful - more and more ready for the children of Iluvatar.

Well, that was it for the Ainulindalë! Next up is Valaquenta, aka "wow, that's a lot of names"...

[oraculate]

whops im a little late sorry but here i (dove, s/h, certified hag) am and more importantly, here's ko lijae, your local fuckin weirdo. surprise surprise though, she's not just a pill popping drunk, she's also impulsive to a fault, an adrenaline junkie with a death wish, and an obsessive nightmare. she's giving oracle at delphi, or she would be if you romanticized it, but it's kind of hard to romanticize someone who very clearly does not have their life even close to together and is letting that show in a way that distinctly bucks social norms. but hey, who has time for social norms when you're touched by the gods, amirite? i'm more than thrilled to be here, haven't written in a hot minute so be gentle, but her pages are here: profile / bio / connections and there's a little bit more under the cut, msg for discord!

i'm not sure what to put that isn't already on the pages so here's a little mindless rambling for you in case something resonates.

ko lijae has premonitions, visions, etc.

her family is historically shamanic and has been for centuries, passed down from woman to woman as is oft the case.

now, granted, they're lowkey scammers so at least in very recent memory "real" visions and so forth are not a thing.

not to mention traditionally in muism shamans are more focused on connection to the spirit world/those who have passed so she's not exactly on brand religiously....

so needless to say the thought process in the ko household was 'yikes'.

and if it had been truly just an expression of mental health concerns she'd have been fucked because if there's one thing the ko family does not believe in its talk therapy or mood stabilizers etc.

as a kid she found a certain idea of solace in the idea that she was probably just experiencing sinbyeong or 'shamanic sickness' (recognized as a culture bound syndrome in the DMCA) that many soon-to-be shamans go through before they are fully initiated, often that are accompanied by reported auditory and visual hallucinations.

at this point in her life she's not sure she buys into the shaman thing fully, she's come to acknowledge her grandmother as a fake, but she also grapples with the idea that there's definitely something going on with her and it's certainly not purely based on mental unrest (though she's more than happy to admit there's a deal of that going on at this point) so a part of her at least wants to attribute it to something somewhat explainable, and figures it must have some kind of genetic component that could be related to how her family ended up shamans in the first place.

in the evolutionary game of fight or flight lijae has chosen a resounding: both. she'll fight you and she'll run from herself.

a lot of that running is done via chemicals of whatever type she can get her hands on, resulting in a chain smoking habit and alcoholism.

she has an exceptionally devil may care attitude, sharp tongue (mostly at her own expense) and a deep and feral loyalty to the few people who stick by her.

honestly she gives feral cat energy, like she might gnaw her paw off if she got caught in a trap and god help you if you corner her, but if you hang around patiently enough maybe eventually she'll come around. but she's got fleas and half an ear is missing and there's scars all around her muzzle so is it worth the time? maybe not.

anyway if you've got any sort of ideas about how this weirdo might be able to round out a plot for you either with or without the inclusion of her '''''gifts''''' i'm all ears!

[kkotda]

KOIIIII can we hear more about koizume :3 your first kiss, your favorite way to spend time together, what your guys’ ideal date is <3

ofc you don’t have to answer this if you don’t want to!! :))

MOTHE WHAT IF I CRY (gonna yap about koizume and make it everyone's problem >:D)

okay so i thought long and hard on this and as much as i want to say that our 'first kiss' was me pecking him on the cheek all nervous and stuff, i am frothing at the idea of our 'first kiss' being him kissing me on the cheek but close to my mouth.... like.... it's not rushed or anything, it's slow and purposeful. he knows what he's doing (sort of) and he looks at me with flushed cheeks and >////< I WANT TO DRAW THIS BUT I CAN'T AT MY CURRENT SKILL LEVEL AAAAHHHHH

biting my fist as i type this but the way i have it in my head is like we're sitting next to each other (in koizume au, i'm imagining our 3rd year at nekoma, and we're sitting outside the gym together after practice has ended) and talking about our plans for the future. our hands brush against each other and i turn to look at him to find that he's already been looking at me, his eyes seem clear yet clouded and i open my mouth to ask him what's wrong because he looks like he's holding himself back from nothing when i feel his lips graze my skin and i blink

there's a soft blush on his cheeks and he's like 'sorry, was that okay?' and his voice is hushed and alksfjasdfkajdfl

ofc like i am now, koi is panicking but in a good way and in the best way she can, she manages to say 'i think you missed' (ignore how i went from 1st to 3rd person...)

and he laughs like 'you're right' and he leans in, hovering above me for a couple beats (gotta let the moment marinate amirite), before letting his lips kiss mine and alkfjasdflaksdjfaslfjsdklasldfj head in hands HEAD IN HANDS

(pulls away again to tuck some of my hair behind my ear and then kisses me aga- GUNSHOTS)

OKAYYYYYY FAVORITE WAY TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER:

ofc we play games together (sdv, hoyoverse, etc) but that's super obvious and lowkey basic when it comes to him (he is THE gamer bf <33333 i love him) but i also wanna say like cafe hopping or something?? taking walks definitely (we are both outside people BUT NOT OUTDOORS)

and then and then ideal date :D

i think an at home date is our go to (cooking dinner together, picking out a movie, cuddling, etc etc) but also i think he likes to take me out to nice dinners (and show me off-)

very cliche but anything that is not physically tedious but can be done together :3

[gamerbearmira]

MAMABUELA SNIPPET WAHAHAHA 🥸

WHAT IS UPPPPPP

So since I've been missing this au, and a number of others, here's a snippet <33

It's Pepa and Bruno mistaking Mirabel for Julieta again. Lovely amirite 😀

Lea get it

----

It was scary how similar Mirabel was to Julieta. Really scary. Especially when she was in the kitchen. Ever since she got her Mamá's gift 4 years prior, she had only been even more like Julieta in terms of likeness. She was always humming whenever she cooked, just like Julieta. She moved the same, cooked the same foods, she even passed out food the same. Heck, she even developed the same habit Julieta had; whenever she couldn't sleep, she put on her apron, went downstairs and just cooked food for the next day until she felt tired enough to sleep.

And tonight had been one of those nights. She wasn't particularly tired, so she had gotten up in the middle of the night, still in her nightgown, and went downstairs to the kitchen. It was pretty dark, even with a candle, so sewing or embroidery probably wasn't the best option. Especially with her poor eyesight and butterfingers. Casita helped her around, making sure to keep the house quiet, to not wake anyone, especially not Dolores or any of the grandparents.

As Mirabel turned the arepas, she failed to notice two people walk into the kitchen. Both Pepa and Julieta had come downstairs, not for any particular reason. Pepa was coming to get water and Bruno had just happened to run into her coming out of his room to do...whatever it was he did, though he was likely getting food. Both heard soft singing coming from the kitchen as went to investigate to aww who in the world would be up at this hour.

They were surprised to see Julieta Mirabel in the kitchen. She was swaying slightly as she placed more dough onto the hot stone. The fire illuminated the room, making it warm, though it was still pretty dark, since there weren't any other fires lit, aside from the burning wood and the two candle next to the girl on the counter.

Maybe it was because they were still tired or because there wasn't a lot of light in the room. Maybe it was the humming or the (still painful) memory of their passed-on sister. Or maybe it was simply because Mirabel was just that much like Julieta. But Mirabel looked pretty exactly like Julieta. Her back was facing the two remaining siblings, and from that angle, she looked just like her mother. The only difference was that Mirabel was about 2 or 3 inches shorter, and her apron was a bit different. But other than that? She was basically a carbon copy.

"Julieta?" Pepa asked absently, a cloud hovering over her head, threatening to rain. Mirabel seemed to finally realize that she wasn't alone, jumping a bit. Wiping her hands on her apron, she removed her glasses, cleaning them while turning to try and see who was before.

"Hm?" Mirabel hummed, looking behind her.

Pepa and Bruno swore she was Julieta. Swore that she was standing in front of them, just at 9 years old rather than 44. Without her glasses on, she was her mother. Literally. And it hurt to see her like that. And in their sleepy deception, they ran over to Mirabel, Pepa grabbing her shoulders and turning her around completely, Mirabel looking surprised.

"Y-You're back?" Pepa asked, eyes wide, though the girl could sew the fatigue. Mirabel blinked, then gave a sad head shake. Pepa blinked once, then again as Mirabel placed her glasses back on her face. Pepa's face turned a bit red and tears well up in her eyes as she turned, letting Mirabel go, her cloud starting to rain. Bruno was vigorously rubbing his eyes; he wouldn't lie, he mistook the small 9-year-old for his long-gone oldest sister.

Mirabel turned, grabbing two of the finished arepas, and holding them out. Pepa and Bruno looked back and saw the girl holding the food out. "For you," she said holding them out. Both took the arepas and stared at it. Bruno's eyes watered, and he hugged the girl, and she simply placed a hand on her tio's back. Pepa quickly joined, and all three dropped to the floor, the two adults clutching Mirabel. Holding her as if she would disappear if they didn't.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry Mira..." Pepa cried, and Mirabel smiled softly. She knew Pepa was referring to mistaking her for Julieta, but she would pretend it was because of the rain that was soaking the three.

"I don't mind," she said quietly, and both only hug her tighter for that. She really was her mother's clone.

----

I LOB THEM SO MUCH WHAT ヽ(#`Д´)ﾉ┌┛〃

No but. Fr. I feel so bad for them 😭 All of them, but specifically Bruno and Pepa (and Alma). They were closest, and seeing Mirabel everyday??? Who looks amd acta like Juliet a??? Sobbing screaming crying seething

Not but fr fr. Hope y'all like this <33 this is one of possibly many snippets but. I might not post them all here. I've been thinking of making a one shot book on AO3/, I mean I do have one on Wattpad

Fun fact another idea before this one was Alma angst lol. It was the night of the crash, after everyone had gone to bed. Alma was supposed to finally realize that Agustín and most importantly Juliet a weren't coming back. That she was really gone. That fact was gonna set in and she was just gonna break down while hold lil Mirabel <///3

Here was the art lmao: