#(dw kids i'm back from getting the milk)
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Pause your scrolling right there. Take a second to check your posture, take a breath, and stretch a bit. Have you had any water lately? A snack? Let me take care of you if you need a hand.
Don’t be shy now cutie. Doctor’s orders!
#♡ lnds yvonne#♡ yvonne's diary#♡ musings to mend#(dw kids i'm back from getting the milk)#(i got some goodies to cook up for yall)
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IM FINALLY WRITING THE SPRINGDAD X READER THINGY RAHHHH!
But I do have a few questions, just for authenticity’s sake :} Some might of been answered already but I hope not-
How would Will react to being hugged from behind?
Is he a morning person?
Does he use pet names? If so, what are some examples?
Does he drive the kiddos to school, or do they ride the bus?
What would he make for breakfast?
How does he react to flirting? Specifically from someone he’s dating.
Does he take testosterone shots? And while I’m not writing smut, I am curious, does he have bottom surgery done? If not, would he ever get it?
Is Evan in preschool or does he stay home during the day?
How does he sleep? Shirtless, pajama shirt and pants, etc.
I might send more, but these are all I have off the top of my head :]
How would Will react to being hugged from behind?
I think he gets surprise hugs a lot from Mike and Evan (y'know when cubs try to surprise attack their parents and they just pretend to be scared of them? Like that) so he might feel amused at first. I'd say he'd have a very tranquil reaction to it. A small chuckle, then stop whatever he's doing to hug the person back.
Is he a morning person?
He's def a morning person! He is exhausted at the end of the day. He's also the kind of person to take naps after lunch whenever he can.
Does he use pet names? If so, what are some examples?
UM. He does use "love" and "dear", but he might as well say "Meu amor" for special occasions :D
Does he drive the kiddos to school, or do they ride the bus?
Bus! But sometimes Springdad and the children walk to school (I'm pretty sure they use bicycles, too). Pretty sure he knows how to drive, though.
What would he make for breakfast?
Springdad and the kids have a fairly common Brazilian breakfast that usually consists of fruits and French bread. Springdad is the only one in the family who loves coffee (Mike HATES it and opts for drinking milk with Nescau). They also eat pão de queijo and empadinhas, and if they're not rushing to start the day, Springdad makes them pancakes.
How does he react to flirting? Specifically from someone he’s dating.
I personally think he does feel flustered, but disguises it by flirting back. He doesn't exaggerate in flirting, though.
NOTE: Expect Springdad to be an affectionate partner. He doesn't express himself with words as much as he does with actions. I can imagine him placing his hand on his partner's shoulder or squeezing their hand to encourage them and make them feel less anxious during stressful situations. He'd also be the kind of person to wait for their partner to get out of the bus after work, especially during bad weather. He does many acts of service, and if his partner is feeling exhausted/sick, he will insist that they should rest while he takes care of the house chores. He enjoys just having someone's presence, even if they're not directly talking. Oh, and he will ask about their favorite dish!
Does he take testosterone shots? And while I’m not writing smut, I am curious, does he have bottom surgery done? If not, would he ever get it?
He takes testosterone shots!! It took a while for Springdad to save enough money for his bottom surgery, but he does have it at some point.
Is Evan in preschool or does he stay home during the day?
While Evan is still too young, Springdad has to take him to work. If he couldn't do that, he'd call a babysitter (usually Henry or Vanessa :] )
How does he sleep? Shirtless, pajama shirt and pants, etc.
During cold seasons? Yeah sure, he usually wears an old t-shirt. Warm season? Nah. He sleeps shirtless. No blanket. No socks on. AND if it's still hot, he will turn on the fan. (He keeps his pj pants on dw)
#putting him in an airfryer#no wait. the microwav#MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM#starbstalks
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a get to know you better meme
thanks for the tag @thestrangeillusion
do you make your bed?
Nope never, if something doesn't need to be tidied it will not be tidied, have left a bucket in the middle of my room for 9 months because of this.
what's your favourite number?
Don't have one
what is your job?
Currently just a student I kinda need to get a job but studying and working is a lot for me and acquiring a job is annoying and hard so uethggghhhh
If you could go back to school would you?
Um will I continue studying? Maybe....
can you parallel park?
No
a job you had that would surprise people?
None? Probably the most interesting way I have earned money is the only commission I've ever had, which was my mum commissioning me for her work (kindergarten) because they needed 30 little icon drawings that each kid has at like their bag hook and on their stuff to identify them, she didn't like the person who used to do it because they were weird about it for some reason and the designs were kinda cluttered and ugly so my mum was like my child can draw? Yes! and this way I can be really fussy and specific with it.
(dw she paid me quite well)
do you think aliens are real?
In the sense of any life existing outside of earth? yes 100% would be weird if there isn't. In the sense of complex or intelligent life? probably. In the sense of there are human equivalent creatures that have achieved space travel and are equally or more technologically advanced than us, unlikely but possible. Just thinking about how much time life has existed without humans and how long humans have existed before any ideas of space exploration and the very specific technologies and discoveries that were necessary for space exploration I wouldn't be surprised if we are the only ones. Also just like how incredibly difficult space travel beyond our solar system is I think it's unlikely we will truly know or make contact.
can you drive a manual car?
No :) do not care to learn. fuck cars and driving is boring i only learn to drive because its kinda necessary where i live :( get me good public transport government please
what's your guilty pleasure?
im guilty about alot things like drinking milk, eating too much sugar, spending too much money, doing literally anything i will find a way to feel guilty about it but thats just my general state of being since i was a child and i mostly ignore it or work around it.
I guess in the more traditional sense of things i like that are embarrassing and i wouldnt want people to know, it would be reading fucked up smut. Particularly my fondness for incest ships? Don't know why I suspect it is the codependency. but yeah umm...
Tattoos?
Not yet but I wanna get a spider (not decided which) on my back soon.
favourite colour?
Peach
favourite type of music?
Um I mostly listen to kpop because uh autism? idk, but I genuinely like a lot of music. Some of my favourite music is like objectively awful and difficult to listen to, I think I often like music that is complex and has lots of things.
Some of my favourite artists trying to include multiple genres I like:
Mamamoo
Stray Kids
Taemin
F.T. island
Jeff Satur
S3rl
Enaria
Chopin (I'm learning one of his preludes atm it's v pretty)
Vivaldi
BabyBeard
GHOST (vocaloid producer)
also gregorian chants slap (not christian, vocal harmonies just make me feral)
do you like puzzles?
Yes! I just recently was like y'know what I haven't done in years but suddenly really need to do:
But also just generally like I LOVE maths and figuring out things and patterns and stuff so fun.
any phobias?
Nope
favourite childhood sport?
Um not that into sport, I guess I wanted to play netball when I was like 8 (but that might've just been because that's the thing you do) but I missed the trial periods 2 years in a row but kinda glad I didn't I know multiple people with permanent injuries from playing netball as a kid/teen and my joints are not the most functional in the first place. Do still enjoy playing casually every now and then.
do you talk to yourself?
Yes my favourite hobby, I have the best conversations with myself, will stay up for hours just talking to myself. Also great for preparing for real conversations. I love it when a topic I fully thought about and talked to myself comes up in conversation and it's like fuck yeah gonna ace this one.
what movie(s) do you adore?
Hmmm not the biggest fan of movie as a story format but uh have seen how to train your dragon at least 20 times and I need to watch it again sometime soon, been craving that animal/human enemies to deep emotional connection best buds.
coffee or tea?
Love coffee, but over half of my daily water consumption is through tea (usually multiple kinds)
Would be less alive without tea also its just like so diverse, green tea!black tea! rooibos! masala chai! rosehip! liquorice! peppermint..... camomile! and so much more with sugar! with milk! with honey! or lemon! hot! cold! literally my favourite, shoutout to whoever invented plant in water. Also soup different kind of plant in water but still absolutely banging humans peaked at plant in water best things invented.
and caffeine doesn't affect me like at all? so i only drink these things for taste.
first thing you wanted to be growing up?
Idk the first but I know at some stage I wanted to be an author or a marine biologist (why is this so common who put it in our heads? Actually maybe David Attenborough....) probably the first was an animal or something
egh its rambly and may not make sense but whatever, also revealing any information about myself on the internet scares me even though literally nobody could do anything with this information like guys pls dont dox me through knowing my mum is a kindergarten teacher
tagging @gaylittlepieceofsh1t @mousydentist @mr-bazongos @wildelydawn @thestarscanalwayslookatus @fiddlepickdouglas @ae-azile and any one who wants to, no pressure tho <333
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racism rant part 23456786543245
the double standards are through the fucking ROOF. it actually makes me want to fucking strangle someone. if i get called 'racist, and anti white' for saying that white ppl cannot experience racism and get held back when i have another lesson????? then a pasty ass dude call me, the n word (im fucking brown anyway) IN FRONT OF A TEACHER?? AND NOT FACE ANY CONSEQUENCES??? and if i report them?? i'm 'mistaken' and hes 'just uneducated'??? number one. educate them?? number 2. thats unfair???? these incidents happened when i was 14 btw. but do u know what is even more painful?? when ppl 100% know what they are doing, what theyre saing and the meanings of theyre actions and consequences. im talking about higher ups, teachers, slt members, shopkeepers, all that. it makes me so fuckING MADDDD. im in a class with one of my friends. she has a pretty noticeable indian accent bc she yk. moved here from india less than 2 yrs ago?? but her english is perfectly understandable. yet this bitch (ofc middle aged cishet white man) decides to pretend he has no clue what shes saying. anD PROCEEDS TO MOCK HER??? the audacity he has. hes also called me the saddest and most awkward person ever for waiting for him to fimish his converstaion. which ok yeah i am, however if alex (white kid) waits for him to finish his convo before asking something. hes polite and well behaved and praised like crazy. its not much but its very worthy of a fucking boot in the face. and if i report him?? im disrespectful. ofc i am. its jus banta inni. cant u take a joke? NOT IF ITS FUCKING RACIST I CANRT. oh yeah dont even count the number of times ive been called paki. another huge thing, im sure poc would relate to (specifically 1st gen immigrants) is being underestimated like fucking CRAZYYY dont even lieeee. when i was in primary, i was rlly good at readinf so like everytime i had a sub or wtvr yeah theyd always b like omg ur english is so good!! no shit i was born here. ur accent is rlly welsh omg i thought itd be different!! no shit i was born here. do you understand what that means?? yeah dw. my personal fave is one where ur doin sumt wrong or zoned out like ill give u an example. the local co op makes a queue for the skl kids since its right by our skl and i was waitin once bc i had to get milk n eggs on my way home innit then. i had a major migraine so i was zonin out all day and i happened to zone out while second in the q. then i was allowed in then for abt 30 secs i dint realize, then atp someone nugded be from behind so. i went in. then the security guard asked me if spoke english??? even tho id spoken to him on previous days bc im a rlly regular visitor???? anyway long story short, id been called a 'fuckin immigrant' but yeah. i'm just mad bc how can ppl who we are supposed to trust treat us like that and thing thats ok????? yeah its nutn new k bye
#sorry my friend told me a teacher was mocking her accent again 😀😀#tw racism#its also been mb 4 months since my last racism rant#personal#also. dont try to understand this. very poorly written
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Aight fellas, I'm doing a list of canon descriptions of dw characters for future reference, might do a second part with more minor characters
SPOILER ALERT OBV
STRANGER
-THE JOURNAL : "Somehow I'm wearing a coat, so I must've changed my clothes on my way here. I don't recognize myself anymore. I can barely hold this pencil. Has my body changed?"
-DOCTOR : "I see you haven't regained your speech. You need to find another doctor."
-SNAIL : "Your face... What happened to you?
The snail's jaw falls so low, it almost detaches itself from the rest of the body.
You scared me... You barely resemble a human... You should cover yourself..."
SNAIL : "You're so ugly, I feel like puking... You barely resemble a human being..."
THE CRIPPLE : "You, lad. You've got your hands and legs. Strong arms. I beg you!"
MAMA ELEPHANT : "Can't you speak? Did someone take away your voice?"
MAMA ELEPHANT : "Your gob looks like that because of this fiendish air, do you know? I bet you can't speak, because you didn't keep your mouth shut when walking through the woods."
MAMA ELEPHANT : "(...) I know you want something, you leper demon."
MUSHROOM GRANNY : "(...) But you're young and strong."
CHICKEN LADY : "Whaddaya need, poor soul? Hungry, eh? I'd give ya some stew, but what good will it do?"
(I think in polish version it was closer to 'how will you eat it' although I can't be sure)
MIRROR : "You are one ugly bastard. I guess you got what you deserved."
MUSICIAN : "This is our doctor, yes? He is just as brave and good as you are!"
MUSICIAN : "You're not af-fraid of anything!"
WOLFMAN : "Even from afar I can smell your putrid stench. Be glad I don't have an appetite for carcasses, Meat"
WOLFMAN : (after the church dream sequence) "Meat, what's with the big eyes? Hehe... Scared?"
WOLFMAN : (when you nod to a question if you're making a joke of him) "You're a brave piece of meat... and what's more important, one with a sense of humor.
WOLFMAN : "Are you pretending to be human, or are you just cracking jokes?"
WOLFMAN : "You look tired, Meat. Busy night?"
WOLFMAN : "Have fun, Meat... Just remember to hide that disaster of a face or it's no dancing for you"
WOLFMAN : (when you spare the sow) "My heart sings with joy when I see such selfless kindness. Tell me the truth, Meat. It was you, wasn't it?"
vvvvv
TRADER
-A man, roughly my size, is standing before me.
I can barely make out his disturbingly familiar features through the matte visor of his helmet...
The massive helmet is covered with an old sack and seems to be an integral part of the unnaturally pale body.
-The man reaches out to me with his black hand. It's covered in charcoal... There's something written on his worn, woolen glove.
-Visibly struggling, the man drops the sack from his back and bends in half, as if out of breath. He shakes the dust off his clothes, then rolls up the sleeve of his, seemingly too small, jacket.
-The old sack covering his body slides down, revealing his chest, covered in horrid growths. It is fused with a porous helmet, pulsating to the rhythm of his breath.
vvvvv
WOLFMAN
THE JOURNAL: "If I'm not delusional, the man whom I met... had the head of a wolf."
FIRST ENCOUNTER: The figure hides its face under the hood. It smells of wet soil and fur.
WOLFMAN: "(...)I barely believe my beautiful eyes... (...) The Wolf smiles, revealing a row of sharp teeth.
AT BARN RUINS: The Wolf makes a quick leap and, bouncing against me with his swollen belly, he puts his paws on my shoulders. He ostentatiously licks his face. (...)
-I notice fresh bloodstains on his fur and feel streaks of his saliva dripping onto my coat.
-The Wolf takes two steps back. I can only see a row of filthy, sharp teeth underneath his hood.
-The Wolf squeezes my arms and starts licking my face. Once from the left side, once from the right side. (...) His breath stinks of rot.
WOLFMAN: "Thanks to you I feel fulfilled! I got my girl, my sweet little lady back."
-Suddenly the Wolf sends me back with a powerful push and reaches into his coat pocket.
WOLFMAN: "(...) and then nothing wil keep you from getting the fuck out of my part of the woods! Do you get me, Meat? You will pack your bags, dive into that stinking hole of yours and dissa-fucking-pear!"
-Finally he snorts, his thick, yellow spit landing on the photo.
-The Wolf grabs the box and starts sniffing it from every angle. I could swear I've heard his tail moving under his coat.
WOLFMAN: "And what am I supposed to do with it? Bite it until it opens? Your brain must be rotting if you think I will break my fangs for this shit."
WOLFMAN: "An electronic game, eh? About a wolf stealing chicken eggs... hehehe. Good one!I've a soft spot for games, how about you?"
-As I produce the key, the Wolf's pupils widen with excitement.
WOLFMAN: (about villagers) "Those selfish, deceitful wretches! They think they're superior, because they have human gobs. They treat us like lepers! But you know what? Fuck them. We're buddies, aren't we? And them? They deserve to be punished, Meat..."
-The Wolf pierces me with his look and grins. A string of saliva lands on his hole-riddled jacket.
-The Wolf puts his paw on me. I can feel his claws puncturing my skin.
WOLFMAN: (about piotrek) "Meat! Fucking hell, seen that? Hahaha! Seen that? Hahaha! Off he flew, didn't he? OFF HE FUCKED!!! Hahahaha!"
WOLFMAN: "If you wish to spend some more quality time basking in the striking, yet natural beauty of my features before you head off to the Silent Forest, you will find me in my camp in the Dry Meadow."
vvvvv
DOCTOR
THE JOURNAL: "What I do know is that the insane fucker took my key. My only chance to get out of the woods. He also tore out all the pages from my journal."
THE JOURNAL: "The doctor has escaped. So be it. He would only be a hindrance anyway."
CHICKEN LADY: "My sisters! Where did ya find it? It's all that godless quack's fault - devil brought him! All he did was prescribe this and that, scribble this no-good drivel! To hell with them papers!"
-I can feel the doctor's cold hand grab me by the jaw, (...)
-He removes his dirty glasses with a trembling hand and freezes.
DOCTOR: "First they begged for help, now I need to hide from them! I'm just an ordinary doctor! How the fuck was I supposed to help them?! How?!"
-With shaking hands, he reaches for the cigarrete butt between his yellow teeth.
DOCTOR: "I used to come here to treat people. I pulled out kids' milk teeth, delivered babies... (...) Last time I came here was three or four years ago. Then the trees blocked the path."
-The Doctor is visibly pleased with himself and his theory. His hands are no longer trembling. He produces a hand-rolled cigarette and lights it.
DOCTOR: "(...) I have no idea where it leads. I'm a shitty diver. (...)"
-The Doctor stares right into my eyes. Mud drips from his face. He hasn't blinked in over a minute.
- (...)His glasses are so dirty, I barely see the eyes hiding underneath.
-A chunk of mud falls down on his exposed tongue. He chews it slowly and swallows with satisfaction.
-The Doctor puts the muddy hand into his mouth, grimaces and pulls out a yellow tooth. He puts it into the pocket of his torn trousers. The tooth falls through a hole. He does not notice this...
-Slowly he bends down and grabs a thick branch from the ground. He starts biting the bark off of it. He swallows the bark with an effort, but also great satisfaction. He places the stick among other ones sticking out of his mud-covered head.
WOLFMAN: "Well, well. I know this quack. A nonentity, a third-rate witch doctor. Useless fucking clunker... But he still managed to screw you over with that key. Eh, comrade?"
MUSICIAN: "This is our doctor, yes? He is just as brave and good as you are! He helped me. He is helping all of us! He gave me this beautiful mask, so I could be healed of my afllictions. Maybe you could have one too..."
vvvvv
vvvvv
MUSICIAN
THE JOURNAL: "I met a boy in the village. He told me that the "Chicken Lady" keeps the "Pretty Lady" locked in her house. The boy really wants to see her, but the old woman won't allow it."
THE JOURNAL: "I decided to give the key to Chicken Lady's room to the little boy. He thanked me and asked me to bring him his mom's violin (it's hidden behind the wardrobe). He's afraid to go himself, as his parents are supposedly angry with him."
THE JOURNAL: "The boy sure was happy to see the new violin. (...)The kid also told me I should visit him in his parent's home someday."
CHICKEN LADY: (after musician's death) "Maybe it's just that me ears are getting worse, but it's been a while since I've heard that monster outside me windows..."
CHICKEN LADY: "Holy Mother, this creep again! May the devil take him and his blasted violin!"
MUSICIAN: "The Pretty Lady? S-she's... the most beautiful lady in the w-world! I w-watch her through the cracks in the window. S-she ch-changes when I watch her... g-gets more beautiful. I p-play for her... I want her to be h-happy..."
MUSICIAN: "I fished out the Pretty Lady's w-wreath from the river! (...)Oh yes, I will become the Pretty L-lady's husband! We w-will walk hand in hand, s-sir. I will play for her, mister s-sir."
-A skinny little hand emerges from beneath the tractor and grabs me by the ankle.
MUSICIAN: "They will not l-listen to me, they w-won't hear how sad I am, sir..."
-One of the strings securing his mask falls off, together with his ear. The boy reattaches it as if nothing happened.
MUSICIAN: "My m-mom has this beautiful violin! I would ask her to b-borrow it to me, but she's too angry with me... Could you p-please c-convince her to b-borrow it to me? I'll g-give you a card with drawings for her. To apologize."
-The boy turns the game in his hand for a while, but he can't find a way to reach the buttons with his overgrown fingers. The game slips out of his hand and drops to the ground. The wannabe musician freezes.
MUSICIAN: "(...) maybe you could take a wee piece of... m-meat for me? I've never eaten a pig and I've h-heard it's very tasty! W-would you take s-some for me?"
-The boy sniffles and rubs the mask with his deformed hand.
-From beneath the mask you can hear a horribly distorted, resounding voice... of a child?
-The figure tries to turn its head, but its enormous neck makes this task impossible to complete.
MUSICIAN: "P-please let me stay. P-please, don't chase me off. I've got nowhere to... go. The villagers don't a-a-allow me to live in the camp. I p-p-promise I won't p-play anymore! I'll be quiet. You can c-cover me with something, if you don't w-want to look at m-me..."
MUSICIAN: (after gifting you a rat) "(...) I mean, she jumped on my hand and s-started nibbling on my f-finger! I quickly clasped my h-hand and b-bit through its neck!"
-The corners of the boy's mouth turn up in a grotesque smile, exposing rows of overgrown teeth, which even his mask couldn't hide.
-The boy clumsily grabs the ball in his hand. He carefully hides it under his legs, so that it doesn't roll away.
MUSICIAN: "S-sorry! I didn't want to! T-this thing is coming out of m-my body. I... I tried to stop it, but I don't think I can... N-now the whole room is covered with... this. I didn't want to make a mess, I s-swear! Please, don't t-throw me a-away!"
-The boy leans over the violin lying next to his overgrown left hand. He plucks one of the strings with his right hand, clumsily trying to keep the rhythm.
MUSICIAN: "Recently, I've grown quite a bit. My mom always used to say that I need to be b-big and s-strong... to help her out in the field..."
The boy tries to hug his frail knees with the disproportionately massive torso.
"But I... I don't want to be big anymore. It's v-very hard being big. You need to be so... so strong! To even walk.Now my v-violin is... too s-small for me!"
vvvvv
vvvvv
#darkwood protagonist#darkwood wolfman#darkwood trader#darkwood stranger#darkwood#darkwood musician#darkwood doctor
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