#(cups hands and yells into the abyss) shen qiao i love yooooooou

[hunxi-after-hours]

This isn’t coming from a place of slut shaming or me finding it problematic or anything, but I still find it out of character that Shen Qiao slept with Yan Wushi that night at the inn. I get that they had gone through a lot and that he realized his feelings at that point, but given how for 30 years, abstinence was a huge part of his life, I just feel like it would have taken a few times to get him to go all the way. I guess Yan Wushi is just that good? 😂

anon this ask is halfway to a shitpost and yet I have been thinking about this for like, the past week

so here's the thing for me about Shen Qiao: he is one of the most asexual goddamn characters I've ever read in fiction, and I love him for that

this is, of course, just my personal reading of the book, and you could make very solid cases for deeply-repressed Shen Qiao, or dignified gay Shen Qiao, or subtle disaster gay Shen Qiao, among a whole host of other interpretations, and that's not even getting into the fact that I think we could have a goddamn field day about the merits and pitfalls of applying Western labels/queer identities onto non-Western texts, but like. lowkey. Shen Qiao reads as one of the most ace characters I've ever come across in fiction, which is really fucking cool

(going under a cut because you know me :)

I remember, back in freshman year of college, having an illuminating conversation with my very lovely, very allosexual roommate where she announced "I need to go on the hunt!" and I was like "I'm sorry, what?" and she was like "on the hunt? for a relationship?" and I was like “I’m sorry what”

and for me, that kind of encapsulates a lot of my experience of being ace, which isn't so much of an experience as the lack of one. my roommate would actively take time out of her week to seek out relationships and sexual partners; meanwhile, I don't remotely share that need. in many ways, it feels like being ace frees me up to do a lot more other stuff in my free time, like read, or write, or translate, or generally be a nerd on the internet

so reading Shen Qiao, who is operating in a highly sexual world (from the worldbuilding to the politics to the interpersonal dynamics to the gender dynamics), who has to deal with sexual overtures from various characters and being sexualized by everyone he meets and generally fending off interested partners while he himself is disinclined towards sex, really struck a chord, let's say

(skdjskjshds not in an “I’m also super attractive and half the jianghu wants to sleep with me” kind of way, but in a “gosh the rest of the world spends a lot of time being preoccupied over this sex business, huh” kind of way)

and Shen Qiao's general ace-ness comes from more than just his abstinence, I think--look, Xie Lian from TGCF is in a similar boat of cultivation-motivated abstinence, but a stark difference between Xie Lian and Shen Qiao's narration (or perhaps, MXTX vs. Meng Xishi's writing? I'd have to read more to tell) is the fact that, well--Xie Lian thirsts. oh my god Xie Lian is so thirsty, and he probably doesn't even realize it, but from the moment San Lang appears on the page, there is so much ink devoted to Hua Cheng's long, slender calves, to the point where I buried my face in my hands while reading and was like "we GET IT, the man has NICE CALVES, can we move on" and Xie Lian would be like "yeah we can move on, let's talk about his hands" and I was like "oh my god"

meanwhile with Shen Qiao, he feels much more... detached? I mean, Meng Xishi's narration/writing style feels a little more removed than MXTX's (but also, MXTX's writing style is very immediate and colloquial and holy fuck chapter 190 of TGCF was an Experience), but the most Shen Qiao really comments on anyone's appearance in narration is just... "this person was very beautiful. also dangerous" and moves on. he doesn't particularly linger on anyone's physical features, to the point where I couldn't tell you what most of the characters actually look like, tall or short, curvy or stick-thin, heart-shaped face or almond-eyed--he just cursorily labels people with "hot" and then keeps on keeping on (probably coughing up blood, Shen Qiao is usually having a bad time of it)

abstinence feels like much more of a Thing for Xie Lian (in that he desires, and then suppresses his desires) than it does for Shen Qiao. maybe Shen Qiao's enlightened himself to the point where he can neatly stow away his desires and not even comment on them in his internal narration. or maybe Shen Qiao's super ace, and abstinence isn't really a big deal for him since he doesn't care that much about sex in the first place

and it's precisely this asexual interpretation of his character (Shen Qiao very much reads as sex-indifferent on the spectrum to me) that makes his first night with Yan Wushi Together-together make sense to me? because like...he doesn't particularly care for the act of sex either way; what Shen Qiao's really pursuing in this scene is his desire to communicate with Yan Wushi about, well, getting together properly. it's not like Shen Qiao doesn't have second thoughts during the whole process ("it's still early " "so what you're saying is, you'll be willing when it's dark?"), but like... I don't think the physical act of sex matters to him as much as what that sex signifies--a confirmation and literal consummation of their relationship to each other

even in all the additional fanwai where they are together-together and have been for years, we only ever see Yan Wushi initiating, and Shen Qiao exasperatedly putting up with Yan Wushi's general nonsense. Shen Qiao doesn't appear to really seek out sex, but also doesn't mind when Yan Wushi does (provided they're not in like, the middle of a serious conversation about political affairs sdflksdjfls sao lao Yan please). and regardless of whether Meng Xishi deliberately conceived of the yanshen relationship and Shen Qiao's identity in these words, I do think it's pretty cool that you can interpret the yanshen relationship as a perfectly healthy, loving, and mutually appreciative (if occasionally eyeroll-inducing) relationship between a stupidly powerful distinguished disaster bi (Yan Wushi) and a gently exasperated sex-indifferent asexual (Shen Qiao)

[hunxi-after-hours]

Hunxi, you’re doing the lord’s work for promoting in the Qian Qiu fandom!!! I’m not sure if you spoke about this before, but on a personal level, why do you love Qian Qiu so much?

I don't know if I'm so much promoting 《千秋》 as I am just generally losing my mind about it on a fairly regular basis, but people continue to indulge me while I do so, so I shan't complain I've been mulling over this question for quite a while now, trying to suss out exactly why I love 《千秋》 so much, and honestly, I think the answer is just... Shen Qiao except it's never "just" "Shen Qiao," but rather Shen Qiao and his journey, Shen Qiao and the world he moves through, Shen Qiao and the intersection of themes and questions that the author investigates through his adventures, his experiences, his lowest points, his greatest heights. again, his is a character that seems simple, even two-dimensional on the surface, but the more time I spend with the text, the more his understated complexity and quiet reflections become apparent

there's a moment fairly early on in the novel that's always really stuck with me -- Shen Qiao and Yan Wushi, while entering a city, pass by a family of refugees. Shen Qiao, in a moment of soft-heartedness, hands a 饼 to one of the children, only to have the father steal it and eat it all himself, then turn around and alternately wheedle and threaten Shen Qiao for more. though we are never actually concerned for Shen Qiao's safety, the confrontation is ugly, and afterwards, Yan Wushi naturally uses the moment as another 'human nature is inherently evil' teaching lesson:

待他走近，晏无师才道：“斗米恩，担米仇。这句话，你有没有听过？” When When [Shen Qiao] came close, Yan Wushi said, " 'A handful of rice may bring gratitude, but a bushel of rice will bring enmity.' Have you heard this saying before?" 沈峤叹道：“是我鲁莽了，受苦的人很多，凭我一己之力，不可能救得完。” Shen Qiao sighed. "I acted rashly. Many people are suffering, and with only my strength, I cannot save them all." 晏无师讥讽：“人家父亲都不顾孩子死活了，你却反倒帮人家顾着孩子，沈掌教果然有大爱之心，只可惜人性、欲壑难填，无法理解你的好意，若今日你不能自保，说不定现在已经沦为肉羹了。” Yan Wushi said, mockingly, "The father didn't even care about his children's survival, yet you did. Sect Leader Shen truly has great benevolence in his heart. It's just a pity that human nature is like a vast, unfillable abyss that cannot understand your good intentions. If you couldn't protect yourself today, you might already have become meat paste." 沈峤认真想了想：“若今日我不能自保，也就不会选择走这条路，宁可绕远一点，也会避开有流民的地方。人性趋利避害，我并非圣人，也不例外，只是看见有人受苦，心中不忍罢了。” Shen Qiao diligently thought about this. "If I couldn't protect myself, I wouldn't have chosen to take this road. I would have rather walked farther around to avoid a place with refugees. Human nature naturally pursues benefit and avoids harm. I'm no saintly sage, and I'm no different. It's just that I saw someone suffering, and couldn't bear it in my heart. That's all." 他择善固执，晏无师却相信人性本恶，两人从根源上就说不到一块去，晏无师固然可以在武力上置沈峤于死地，但哪怕是他扼住沈峤的脖子，也没法改变沈峤的想法。 He stubbornly chose goodness while Yan Wushi believed that human nature was inherently evil. From their basic premises, the two of them simply could not agree. Yan Wushi could of course use his martial ability to kill Shen Qiao, but even if he held Shen Qiao by the throat, he had no way of changing Shen Qiao's mind. (chapter 16)

this by no means the first or only time Shen Qiao interacts with refugees and beggars, people driven to the ends of their tolerance and survival, people fallen on hard times, on political crises, prey to the fickleness of fortune and the rising winds of war. and, when you look at these scenes scattered throughout the book, only a few instances of these interactions are really, truly plot-relevant

which is to say that a lot of these moments are, strictly speaking, unnecessary for the forward movement of the narrative

and this is so incredibly powerful to me, because -- my god. when was the last time a beggar was allowed to be just a beggar in a wuxia danmei novel, not a spy, or an informant, or an assassin, or a member of the 丐帮 Beggar Gang, but a beggar, with all the intersectional questions of class and caste and governance and morality? when were minor figures allowed to be just that -- minor figures, passerbys, not secretly a protagonist in disguise, or a cardboard cut-out of an extra, or purely symbolic in function, but you know, a regular chump going about their dull faux-historical peasant life? how many books have their protagonists declaring that they are doing this "for the 苍生 common people," yet never really show those people on the page, or give those people a voice? how often are the poor (in a wuxia novel, no less) allowed to be more than saintly sufferers or morally corrupt, and how often do we see a narrative where our protagonist is confronted with these questions of class and privilege repeatedly, instead of a one-time save-the-cat event that serves more to illustrate a character’s virtue than it comes to examining the actual societal issues at play? Shen Qiao's beliefs and morality are tested again and again and again throughout the novel -- in big ways, with Yan Wushi, but also in little ways, in these passing moments. Shen Qiao is the best of them all -- the kindest, most benevolent, most compassionate, most forgiving -- and even he chooses, on occasion, not to help, not to give everything of himself when demanded earlier in that scene, the man asks Shen Qiao for more food, and Shen Qiao refuses. I gave you one 饼, Shen Qiao says, I only have one other, and I need to keep that for myself. we might expect a protagonist as good, as benevolent, as compassionate, as merciful as Shen Qiao to immediately cave and give up everything he has to help ease someone else’s suffering, but he doesn't. Shen Qiao is the best of all of us, and his actions show us that generosity does not have to be unlimited to be valuable, that goodness is not necessarily measured by the extremity of self-sacrifice I'm not trying to say that 《千秋》 is an insightful commentary on historical class dynamics (it’s... not), or that it handles issues with exceptional sensitivity and nuance (jury’s out on this one). but it's little moments like these in the novel that make the world feel more real, its characters more firmly grounded. the Big Questions in 《千秋》 are concerned with morality and conduct, personal cultivation and social responsibility, what it means to be a good person in a world on fire, when you yourself have been deeply wronged by the world and the people/systems of power in it. and what I find incredibly compelling is the fact that Meng Xishi devotes ink and time to both the heightened, fictional, dramatically extreme variants of these questions as well as the minute, pedestrian, and uncomfortably real the world of 《千秋》 rejects the simple binary of good and evil; it also rejects a simplistic view of what constitutes good or evil. good is more than charity, or forgiveness, or self-sacrifice, or brandishing a sword in the name of the "common people." likewise, evil cannot be reduced to just selfishness, self-interest, sadistic cruelty, or ambition. "good' and "evil" are labels, tacked onto you by loose tongues and jianghu gossip; "good" and "evil" are excuses, indiscriminately weaponized by people furthering their own agendas; "good" and "evil" are performative, external, empty; flattery, slander, meaningless

sometimes you fight to the best of your ability but your body cannot withstand the stress, and you end up coughing up blood and fainting. that is okay. sometimes someone repays your kindness by stabbing you in the back. that is okay. sometimes you have resentful, vengeful thoughts about other people who have wronged you and consider acting upon them. that is okay. sometimes you try your best to save a sickly child, and fail. the child dies in your arms. that is okay. sometimes you find out that your best intentions in the past were in fact short-sighted and selfish. that is okay. sometimes you come face to face with your own privilege, of a happy childhood, of naturally endowed martial talent, of education and access and health and ability. that is okay. sometimes you do everything in your power to try and become friends with someone, only to have them sell you out in the most viciously vindictive manner possible. that is okay.

goodness in 《千秋》 is no guarantee of reward; kindness to others has no guarantee of repayment. especially in the first third of the novel, it often feels like no good deed goes unpunished as events continue to backfire in Shen Qiao’s face. through Shen Qiao and the absolute hell he gets put through in the first half of the novel, Meng Xishi hammers this home: it isn’t easy to be good. in fact, it can be profoundly unrewarding, exhausting, even laughably naive when it would be so easy to... abridge certain morals. take a shortcut. make an exception here. everyone is just trying to survive in a world on fire, and noble words about virtue and conduct pale in the face of desperation and need

I keep thinking of this exchange, from when Shen Qiao decides to go back to save Yan Wushi:

十五：“您将他当作朋友，他不应该也将您当作朋友吗？”

Shi Wu: “You treated him like a friend; shouldn’t he also treat you like a friend?”

沈峤笑了：“不对。这世上，有许多事情，即便付出了，也很可能根本不会有回报，你在付出的时候，要先明白这一点，否则受伤的只会是你自己。”

Shen Qiao smiled. “You’re wrong. In this world, there are many things that, when you’ve paid for it, you cannot expect any sort of return. When you pay for it, you have to understand this, or else the only one who will be hurt will be you.”

(chapter 52)

I think we get a lot of stories about the radical power of empathy and forgiveness, narratives where a character’s heart and sheer goodness become something of a superpower, absolutely critical to the resolution of the conflict and the closure of the story. and those stories are some of my favorites, especially when they recognize that forgiveness is more than just a saintly forbearance, but also a negotiation of your own emotion, a necessary step towards your own closure

but kindness or compassion or empathy or goodness aren’t single, one-time events. they’re continuous and exhausting, like trying to fill up an abyss with a toy shovel. they’re often unrewarding, or invisible, or misinterpreted, or just plain go awry. 《千秋》 gives us so many iterations where characters’ good intentions rebound in their faces, or result in misfortune, and the narrative pushes past this to show us the value in continuing to make these decisions in defiance of our past experiences

or, in other words: kindness and compassion have no guarantee of reward or repayment, but that doesn’t make them any less valuable, and honestly, as someone who grew up on fantasy and the intoxicating cocktail of heroism and morality and happy endings that it often promises, 《千秋》’s understated realism and complex take on the personal cost of goodness was a story I haven’t really seen told, and didn’t know I desperately needed

[hunxi-after-hours]

Do you think that one of the things that attracted YWS to SQ is also SQ’s quiet confidence? Throughout the story, I don’t think SQ ever doubts his own abilities or feels sorry for himself. He appears to simply accept his injuries and a and just…adjusts to accommodate them and moves onward. Where YWS is all arrogance and showy confidence (and with the firepower to actually back it up), SQ is more like “I really don’t want to fight you but I will wipe the floor with you if you persist”. They are flip sides of the same coin. I think despite what he tells SQ about not qualifying as a rival, YWS did respect SQ’s abilities and tenacity, because he repeatedly tests SQ and chooses to stalk-…ahem, spend time with him. YWS strikes me as someone who loses interest in people quickly, and wouldn’t waste his time on anyone whom he thought was anything less than worthy (scientific experiment or otherwise). I also have cursed thoughts about how Lao Yan hasn’t had sex in a decade when he first encounters this intriguingly resilient and pretty guy. Just sayin’…LMAO

ahaha the hilarious thing is that Yan Wushi explains to Shen Qiao multiple times why he likes him, but the problem is, The Betrayal happened so Shen Qiao is like "hilarious. okay Yan-zongzhu why are you REALLY here" until Yan Wushi is just like 说了你都不信 / I TOLD you and you don't believe me

off the top of my head, there's this moment time in chapter... 78? 79?

...晏无师笑道：“食色性也，人人如此，我的确喜欢你的容貌，却更爱你对我爱答不理的冷淡，这又有什么不好承认的？..."

Yan Wushi laughed and said, "Food and sex are human nature--all people are so. While I am quite fond of your appearance, I love your aloof coolness more. Why shouldn't I admit this?..."

there's definitely another time when Shen Qiao is like 贫道何德何能得到晏宗主如此青睐 / What great virtue or ability does this lowly Daoist have to earn sect leader Yan's favor? but like, in that particular brand of Shen Qiao Deadpan (TM) and Yan Wushi just smiles and goes 你既有德又有能 / On the contrary, you are in possession of both great virtue and ability and it's like okay, okay sir, we get it you're in love but very understandably, Shen Qiao does not get it then

so like, yes, Yan Wushi is rather taken with both Shen Qiao's capability and virtue, determination and persistence, but I think that, despite his occasional lines to the contrary, Yan Wushi is most intrigued by the fact that Shen Qiao is--okay hear me out--a worthy opponent from day one

like you said anon, I think Yan Wushi is absolutely the kind of person who would lose interest in other people quickly, which is precisely why Shen Qiao is so intriguing

he starts out as a science experiment, right? Yan Wushi is on a walk and happens across Shen Qiao's body and is like "oh free sect leader? I'll take him, and see if I can turn him evil and/or drive him mad," because in Yan Wushi's worldview, those are the only two possible roads that Shen Qiao can take after Shen Qiao has lost so much

and what does Shen Qiao immediately do? prove Yan Wushi wrong

Shen Qiao, even while amnesiac, is locked in constant battle with Yan Wushi, except this isn't a contest of martial skill--the two of them are engaged in an ideological battle. Yan Wushi believes in the inevitable corruptibility of human nature. Shen Qiao plans to prove him wrong simply by being himself. Yan Wushi plans to prove Shen Qiao wrong by doing his literal worst. Shen Qiao, when he hears news of the impending attempt on Yan Wushi's life, decides to go back and save him not just for the greater political picture, but also because he wants to prove Yan Wushi wrong. literally, Shen Qiao says:

“我没有你想的那么伟大，我只是希望能再见那个人一面，看一看他的脸上失望的样子，让他知道，我没有被种下魔心，我也没有被魔心控制，我还是我。”

"I'm not as noble as you think. I just want to see that person one more time, to see the disappointed expression on his face and let him know that the demonic core didn't take in my heart, that I have not been controlled by the demonic core, that I am still me."

(not to say that Shen Qiao was like "I'm gonna go save this man's life out of SPITE" but like. he kinda did say that)

what's one of the first things we learn about Yan Wushi? it's that he's obsessed with the battle, the fight, the contest. the improvement of oneself and the triumphing over the other. he'll take risks, break taboos, invent new paths of cultivation to climb higher in martial achievement. he's really goddamn competitive, so it should come as no surprise that when Shen Qiao continually defeats him on the level of the ideological simply by refusing to roll over and die, of course Yan Wushi is going to pay attention. when was the last time someone had the audacity to remain stubbornly undefeated like this out of sheer will?

I do think that the Ruoqiang arc in general, and specifically the fall-out from the ambush is an extremely important tipping point in Yan Wushi's character development. it's one thing for Shen Qiao to save Yan Wushi's life--a life for a life, they're pretty much even now--but Shen Qiao continues to go above and beyond in protecting Yan Wushi. Shen Qiao himself doesn't think much of it, just considers it the logical thing to do (救人救到底，送佛送到西), but this is Yan Wushi we're talking about. when was the last time someone took care of Yan Wushi, tended his wounds, defended him ferociously, fought to bring him to safety? Yan Wushi cannot deny that Shen Qiao has shown Yan Wushi--heck, not just Yan Wushi, but also Xie Ling, the weakest and least worthy form of Yan Wushi--an unutterable amount of kindness, tenderness, and care, that I'm willing to bet Yan Wushi hasn't seen in decades

tl;dr despite all of his protests to the contrary, Yan Wushi never stood a goddamn chance

[hunxi-after-hours]

GET ‘EM A-QIAO I’LL HOLD YOUR FLOWER

[hunxi-after-hours]

Shen Qiao roasting Yan Wushi, a collection

...Yan Wushi said: “Well-behaved people have their own weaknesses. What person on this world can be perfect and flawless?”

Shen Qiao nodded: “You’re right. If, that day, you hadn’t thought too highly of yourself and too little of others, you wouldn’t have fallen so far as to give your enemies an opportunity to seize.”

Shen Qiao couldn’t resist smiling: “So your weakness now is likely that your face is thicker than the rocks of Mt. Tai, isn’t it?”