#(by the way i don't actually mind whatever genre it falls under -- or indeed as it more does really -- all the genres it falls under

[seelestia]

— ❝𝐎𝐇 𝐌𝐘 𝐆𝐎𝐒𝐇, 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐌𝐘 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍!❞

SUMMARY. "oh my gosh, you're literally my dream person!" here's a list of red flags for you, honey. (inspired by a tiktok trend! the one with the soundboard, iykyk.)

CHARACTERS. wanderer, alhaitham, albedo, childe + GN!reader.

GENRE. full-on crack, some fluff, not-so serious and light-hearted character slander.

CW. has heavy refs to albedo's story / 2.3 event and wanderer's story, brief mentions of blood in childe's part (not detailed/graphic), one brief mention of kissing in wanderer's part, light cussing and terrible humor. + read the alt text on the headers for extra captions, hehe!

THOUGHTS. this is my most unserious work yet and for that, i apologize if this gets too unhinged or inaccurate at some point LMAOOO. red flags are fine, red is my fav color anyway (it's actually light purple) <33 can you guess who's the favorite here 🧍‍♂️

✰ masterlist.

[ WANDERER ]

❝Dream person, huh? That's oddly fitting because the day you win me over is only gonna happen in your dreams too.❞

Has some abandonment and mother issues. ...Yeah. These issues may result in emotional walls as strong and firm as the Great Wall of China but when you break through them, he's never ever gonna let you go (unfortunately). I'd tell you to start running but this silly guy can float and zoom in the air, so best of luck.

You'll only hear crickets if you fall asleep on his chest. On the very rare occasions where he allows you to, that is. If you're into that romantic "falling asleep on your lover's chest while listening to their heartbeat" stuff, you're not getting it with Wanderer here. But if you listen hard enough, maybe you'll get to hear termites or something because he's canonically made out of white wood. (I'm joking, I love him too.)

Terrible with feelings. He'd rather jump off a cliff than start talking about his feelings. ...Okay, fine. Harboring humane emotions is an annoyingly blurry line that he has vowed to stop caring about after regaining his memories. It doesn't mean he doesn't cringe at himself every now and then, though — knowing that he has talked about his feelings to someone else (only you and Nahida) keeps him up at night, as embarrassing as it is to admit. ("Hey, do you remember that one time when you told me—" "I don't.")

May prioritize his pride over you sometimes. Let's take a rainy day as an example. It's pouring cats and dogs which means that the risk of catching a cold is high as ever... thus, as the rain begins to soak you, you turn to your companion (whose clothes are saved by the hat on his head) with puppy eyes. His reply comes in the same speed as a lightning strike; "No," he says. Beg and cry if you want, he is not letting you under his hat because it's "not a damn parasol". Fine, maybe he just doesn't care about your well-being and that's totally fine (sarcastic) — but the very next second, as he grabs your wrist and starts dashing to a nearby inn with you in tow — you can't help but let a small smile slip. Maybe he does care? Pride just gets in the way sometimes.

Might accidentally suffocate you when you two kiss because how the heck is he supposed to remember that humans need to breathe when your lips are just so soft for no reason? Ugh, humans and their ridiculous needs (derogatory but he still loves you simp).

Has a long list of crimes and felonies that we don't talk about. Ah, yes, the courtesy of being a previous Fatui Harbinger, indeed. Irminsul may have forgotten about this list, but the Wiki sure as heck hasn't.

[ ALHAITHAM ]

❝So, you consider me someone who fits your type? I see. Unfortunately, knowing whether or not I fit into another person's ideals doesn't have much value to me.❞

Books > people. Is that really a flaw? He doesn't think it is. Books are a source of knowledge and aren't they supplements that enrich the minds of those who read them? Not to mention, there is no need to cater to whatever social standards with inanimate objects unlike when you're around people. ...But apparently, Kaveh told him that this mindset "makes him look like an absolute loner with no social skills and no friends whatsoever" to which he'd usually bite back with an "at least, I have a stable housing." TLDR: books are Alhaitham's closest friends and that's a little sad (he doesn't care about other people's opinions, though).

Unreachable when his soundproof headphones are on. Shush, he is in his official (but not-so-official) 'Do Not Disturb' mode. Sorry in advance, he may or may not accidentally ignore you when his soundproof headphones are on. If you want to have a few words with him, either be patient and wait or make sure they're of absolute importance lest you risk being given the deadliest, emptiest stare ever known to mankind. If looks could kill, you would've keeled on the spot. Instant unintentional (??) homicide, so true of him.

Awkward with small talks. Alhaitham is good at talking about topics that really matter and he very much prefers it that way too. But that's the thing; when the discussion of that particular subject ends, that's it. He often dodges the silence in a 'cool' way, though; either by taking an early leave or bringing out a book if the situation there still needs him present. (In his defense, if no one wants to start and carry the conversation, then isn't it a bit hypocritical to count on him to do that too?)

Physical affection stupefies him (it'll take time). Alhaitham doesn't hate it, no, but something about it just doesn't align much with his sense of familiarity. He usually keeps his distance; even with new acquaintances, shaking hands has never been his thing and it's been a long time since Alhaitham has had someone he feels comfortable enough to receive physical affection from or to give some of it to (his grandmother was the last, maybe). By all means, this isn't meant to be a sob story — it's just brought up to explain that physical affection is a thing he's not familiar with, so it'll take some time to get used to. Good luck to those with physical touch as a preferred love language (me), this feeble scholar who may turn into a stiff log when you hug him is in your capable hands!

[ ALBEDO ]

❝Is that a compliment of some kind? I must say it's certainly not one I hear very often, thus I feel inclined to appreciate it all the more. Thank you.❞

Has a lab located in Dragonspine. Yes, this is a red flag because look me in the eyes and tell me you would realistically travel up that death trap of a mountain every single time just to spend time with him. He comes down from the mountain at least twice or thrice a month, so you'll still get to see his pretty face regardless, just not as frequently — so, it's either you exchange letters every week or you go trekking up Dragonspine to see him yourself. (There is a better place to die on than that wretched mountain, but I digress.)

His mother caused world destruction and he has a twin brother that is out for blood (Imposterbedo). ...Seriously, what the heck is going on in this family? We need to keep an eye on them like they're fascinating wild animals on National Geographic, for real. If you don't mind crazy in-laws that might commit felonies against you (also looking intently at Alice as I say this, by the way), then you're all good to go! Aha, just watch your back and be safe out there, comrade.

Babysitting Klee comes as a 2-in-1. If you're good with kids, great! If you're not, good luck! You know what they all say; a child's curiosity is only limited by the skies (and a guardian's supervision), so be prepared for when Klee starts tugging you around to go fish blasting or exploring with her. Being with Albedo means you get to see her a lot and she's such an adorable ball of sunshine! But the way she innocently hands you a little bomb like it's a slice of Fisherman's Toast and not a weapon is certainly something to remember, huh? (At this point, this is basically an extra to my previous point about questionable in-laws.)

Eats spiders (not often, but has eaten them and that's concerning). Granted this only applies to a specific type of large spiders that can be found at the roots of Petrified Trees in Domains (in the words of the Chief Alchemist himself), but there will definitely be a time where he goes: "Are you hungry? If I remember correctly, there are still some smoked spiders left from the other day. Fortunately, the temperature here in Dragonspine aids in the preservation method—" Spiders can be cute to some and a nightmare to some, but the fact that he has a whole recipe for it really makes you want to know the how and most importantly, the why. Does he sprinkle parsley on them or some stuff like that, ayo? (at least, if you ever get stuck in a domain one unlucky day, this recipe might help you survive? thanks??)

[ CHILDE ]

❝Oh? I've never been called a dream person before. ...Heh, that sounds new, I like the sound of that!❞

Thinks combat and battles are a better substitute for oxygen. Okay, that may be somewhat of an exaggeration — but it isn't an understatement to say that the thought of challenge rushes the blood into Tartaglia's veins. Not one for the secretive schemes most Harbingers do, this man would even go charging ahead if that guarantees he'll encounter a good fight. Like seriously, if he and a fellow Harbinger are heading to a place where there is a good opponent, you bet Childe is about to speed there first. You could say he is speeding towards uncertain death, essentially.

Might have come home with blood on his cheek once or twice. And what's worse is that this guy probably doesn't even realize it's there. Sorry, he was just too caught up in the moment to properly notice any leftover 'trophies' from his previous fights... Aha, don't worry about it! ("I'm home!" Tartaglia cheers loudly as he, quite literally, throws open the front door to your shared home — only to be greeted by that dumbfounded look on face. "Please tell me that's just juice on your cheek," you frown. He scratches the side of his neck awkwardly, "Uhh. Things didn't go particularly well when I was collecting debts.")

A warrior in the streets, also a malewife who can make you treats. Why does he have that double side for, huh? For other people to swoon over and fall for? No way someone can be a househusband and a good fighter simultaneously. What do you mean he can cook and clean then beat up anyone who threatened you the next? And you're saying he is genuine about it too? I say deception, deception, deception! Sue this fellow for fraud this instant. (This might actually be a green flag in disguise, but you didn't hear that from me.)

No good with saving money. He's stinky rich and most of it might be from the Fatui. You have to wonder whether each Mora he gives goes on the Fatui's tab or something like that... You don't find the idea of owing something to the Fatui fun, but it's so ironic how you're more worried about this than the Eleventh Harbinger is. Welp, at least, you don't have to worry incessantly about saving money now...? ("There's that thing you said you wanted to buy the other day, right? Here you go, honey!" "Tartaglia, why is this Mora pouch heavier than a toddler—")

Has a long list of crimes and felonies that we don't talk about #2. You could definitely argue that Childe might have the least mind-boggling list of crimes amongst the Harbingers all, though. (And does he slay for that? Who knows.)

─ ⊹ ⊱ ・・・・・・☆・・・・・・・⊰ ⊹ ─

© SEELESTIA, mar 2023. do not repost, plagiarize, translate nor claim as your own.

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[variousqueerthings]

watching MASH and having the niggling feeling it might be a tragedy masking ever less as a comedy as the story progresses lads

[parkkjiminssi]

Our song.

one shot.

pairing: Jungkook x Reader

genre: fluff

warnings: can too much fluff be considered a warning?

a/n: this was inspired by Taylor Swift’s song, Our Song. I heard it on my friend’s car and once I got home I immediately went to my music app and started playing it, because omg such a throwback! Then after that, well here I am lol. I hope you all enjoy this one shot. Please don’t be afraid to talk to me or send in requests, I love it when you do 💕

Your hair was flying everywhere as you rode shotgun on your boyfriend’s truck. The two of you were on the way back to drop you off home after your date at the car cinema, your hand intertwined with his. With your free hand you reached over and lowered the radio.

“Something wrong? You’ve been awfully quiet since we left the movies, babe.” Jungkook asked, sneaking a quick look at you.

“Well... you remember how the couple in the movie had their song?” You asked pulling a strand of hair behind your ear. Jungkook nodded not taking his eyes off the road.

“I was wondering, how come we don’t have a song?” You finally asked nervously, tightening your grip around his hand.

His bunny smile started appearing on his face. “Baby, you want a song just for us?”

“Well, no it’s not that. I’m just wondering.”

Jungkook brought your hand to his lips and kissed it adoringly. “I’m sure we’ll know when we’ve found our song.”

After a couple of minutes, you finally reached your house. Jungkook turned off his truck before getting off and running over to your side to open the door for you. He walked behind you quietly as you made your way to your front door.

“Thank you for today, Jungkook. I love spending time with you.” You said turning around with a smile plastered on your face.

Jungkook walked up to you and enveloped you in a hug. “And I love you, Y/N. Thank you for being my girlfriend.”

Your cheeks started burning and you were so glad that it was nighttime, otherwise he would’ve been able to see your blush. He slowly started to let go to let you go inside, but before you entered you planted a peck on his lips.

“Call me when you get home.” You called to him as you opened the door.

“Will do, but if you’re sleepy please don’t hesitate on going to sleep.” He replied as he walked backwards to his truck, waving at you.

“I love you!” You exclaimed.

“I love you too, Y/N!” He called back, his truck door closing, his engine starting and your screen door slamming shut.

You looked at the ceiling as you laid on your bed. Today you were supposed to go out on a picnic with Jungkook but the rain had completly ruined your plans. The night had fallen upon already, only signaling that the day had been wasted.

Your phone chimed. It was your boyfriend.

You frowned at your screen but decided to ignore it, thinking that maybe Jungkook had fallen asleep or something. You locked your phone and placed it right next to you.

Twenty minutes had passed and you were starting to feel sleepy yourself. Your eyes had started to slowly close when a tapping on your window startled you.

“What? Don’t tell me the rain turned into hail.” You said as you stood from your bed and headed over to take a look through your window. What met you on the other side as you opened your blinds completely took you by surprise.

There, outside of your window was a completly soaked Jungkook with a basket on his hand.

“Baby, open the window. I’m going to catch a cold if I stay out here.” He teased with a smirk.

Your quickly opened the window, taking the basket from his hand and allowing him to come into your room. You ran to your restroom looking for towels and then to your brother’s room looking for dry clothes that could fit Jungkook.

“What were you thinking? You could get sick, babe.” You asked while you helped him dry his hair after he had changed into his borrowed clothes.

“I just figured that we shouldn’t let the rain ruin our plans. So I decided that our picnic day shall still happen even if it’s already a bit past midnight and inside.” Jungkook reached over for the basket that he had arrived with, and started pulling out food that had somehow survived the water.

You couldn’t help but smile and consider yourself the luckiest girl in the world.

“What did I ever do to deserve you?” You whispered to yourself.

“What was that?” He asked, still focused on getting everything out of the basket.

You planted a kiss on his head before continuing to dry his hair. “Oh, nothing.”

“Babe? Babe, can you hear me?” You slowly whispered.

“Yes, I can hear you just fine love.” Jungkook replies on the other side of the line. “Are you sure you’re okay with this? Your mom might get mad if she finds out we’re on the phone this late.”

“It’s okay. Wait wait, I think she’s coming.” You quickly hid your phone under the pillow and pretended to be asleep. Your mom slowly opened the door to your room and peeked inside, checking to see if you were indeed asleep. Once she was satisfied, she closed the door and retired her room.

You waited a couple of minutes to make sure she was truly gone before reaching for your phone.

“Jungkook, babe are you still there?” You whispered.

“Yes, I’m still here baby.”

A slight breeze of air brushed against your skin as you sat on the boat being rowed by your boyfriend. You had had the worst day possible and you honestly didn’t feel like doing anything, but somehow Jungkook had managed to convince you to go out with him. He kept on saying he had something to show you.

“Where are we going?” You asked while looking at your surroundings. You had never been here before.

“The other day I was out with the boys and I found this awesome place right by the river. I thought to myself: I have to show this to Y/N!” He answered as he stopped rowing. “We’re here.”

He slowly got off the boat and tied it down to the deck, to make sure it wasn’t going anywhere. Jungkook walked over to you and helped you off.

“Now close your eyes.”

“What?”

“I said close your eyes.” He said as he grabbed on to our hands and placed them over your eyes. “No peeking or you’ll ruin the surprise.”

“Fine but please hold my hand. I’m scared I might trip or something.” You extended one hand for him to take.

Jungkook smiled before taking it. “Babe, when have I let you down?”

After what seemed an eternity walking, maybe because you were walking so slow and cautiously, you finally arrived at this secret place Jungkook had mentioned.

“Okay, at the count of three open your eyes.” He said, letting go of you.

“Jungkook, you’re not trying to prank me right?”

“One...” He started counting.

“Because if you’re trying to get back at me for stealing one of your white shirts, I’m sorry.”

“So it was you!” He exclaimed but decided to let it pass. “Two...”

“You have too many white shirts, I didn’t think taking one would make a difference.” You continued explaining, hoping that it would save you from whatever Jungkook had in store for you.

“One! Open your eyes now, Y/N!”

You slowly opened your eyes, bracing yourself for what was coming but much to your surprise nothing fell on top of you or jumped out of anywhere. Instead, you were met with a huge tree. There was a blanket tied around it and as it met the ground, it flared out. Keeping it in place was a couple of rocks, creating some sort of tent.

Jungkook noticed your dumbfounded expression and just rolled his eyes. “Y/N, I can’t believe you actually thought I was going to prank you.” He took your hand and led you towards the tent.

Inside there were blankets and pillows spread around the floor to provide cushion, kind of like a bed. Snacks were laying against one of the makeshift walls and Jungkook’s guitar next to the other.

“Why did you bring your guitar?” You asked a bit confused. “You haven’t played it in forever.”

“Well,” He started saying as he reached for the instrument. “remember how a while ago you asked that how come we don’t have a song? I actually have been practicing and made one.”

“W-what? Wait, what?”

Jungkook only snickered. His fingers started strumming through the strings of his guitar creating a beautiful melody. He started singing. His voice so sweet and angelic. It never crossed your mind that he sang, Jungkook was just so good. But then again, he was good at everything he did.

“Our song is a slamming screen door, sneaking out late and tapping on your window.” He looked over at you and gave you a cheeky wink. “When we're on the phone and you talk real slow, 'cause it's late and your mama don't know.”

Tears started streaming down your face. Happy tears. Tears full of love for the boy that was sitting across from you.

“Our song is the way you laugh. The first date man I didn't kiss her when I should have.” Jungkook stopped playing his guitar and reached over to wipe away your tears, while continuing to sing without the instrument. “And when I got home, before I said amen, asking God if He could play it again.”

He pulled you closer to him, his lips meeting with yours. You returned the kiss with the same intensity as him, a bit wet due to your still flowing tears.

“I love you, Y/N. I think the reason why it took us so long to find a song was because we were meant to create our own.” Jungkook whispered, caressing the side of your face.

You mirrored his actions as a smile spread across your features. “I love you, Jungkook. I love you so much, thank you for everything.”

Jungkook pulled you along with him to lay down on your makeshift bed. “Take a look at this.”

He pulled onto one of the walls of the tent, making it fall down. Above you, a sky full of stars spreading for miles and miles.

“Hey, love.” You called to him while laying on his chest.

“Hmm?” He answered, his voice sounding sleepy.

“Would you mind adding this to our song?”

“You got it, beautiful!”

Masterlist