#(but if im doing something wrong i would also love to hear (constructive) criticism)

[destiel-news-channel]

I want to thank you for using the may their memory be a blessing tag instead of rip or rest in peices

You may be a goy but you're a mensch to me

you are so very welcome! i am doing my best to be respectful and that includes using the appropriate expressions. and, if i may say so, even though i sincerely wish i didnt have to use it so much, i think it's a quite lovely and beautiful sentiment.

[yzzyhee]

heartbreak girl - sjy

PAIRING: best friend!sim jaeyun x yn (fem bodied)

WARNING: pet name (angel, baby) lmk if i missed anything, slight angst..? a lot of feelings involved, kinda mean heeseung??

WC: ~5k more or less

SYNOPSIS: jake has always been there for you through thick and thin — he was always there to take away your hurt, but when were you going to realise?

PLAYLIST: 5sos - heartbreak girl

A.N: hi everyone i just wanted to say quickly that it’s my first written fic, i have no idea what im doing tbf but i just really really liked the idea for a while and decided to give it a shot .. i truly accept any constructive criticism you might have idm this will probably be the first and last time i post something but ! do let me know what you guys think, it would mean a lot !!

ps. this one is dedicated to my wife @ja3yun seriously couldn’t have done it without ur advices so seriously tysm bb!!

I. “YOU CALL ME UP // IT’S LIKE A BROKEN RECORD // SAYING THAT YOUR HEART HURTS”

Jake sighs as his phone buzzes. Picking it up he sees your caller ID and for a split of a second he doesn’t want to pick up the call. As he glances at the phone he lets himself wonder what a different life would be like; if somehow in another life he could stop caring and ignore you.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath — that could never be a possibility. He’s sure that if that another life actually exists, the universe would somehow bring him together with you and all of this would eventually happen.

“Y/N?” he answers, trying to keep his voice steady.

“Jake…” you manag to say even though your friend can barely hear your voice. “He broke up with me.” you said as a sob escaped from you.

Jake feels like his own heart is shattering. Not for your and Heeseung’s relationship that was over for now but mostly for himself. He’d seen you go through this too many times, always falling for the wrong boys and always ending up heartbroken.

“It just hurts so bad, Jake..” you cry, your voice breaking.

As you continued crying and uttering words that made Jake’s heart drop at how you seem to hate yourself now, he feels like he could punch Heeseung if he were to see him now. Even though he has been there for you through many of your previous heartbreaks and also fights with Heeseung he never heard you cry so bad.

“Hey, Y/N.. Listen to me. Take deep breaths, stop crying, angel, please.” Jake says softly and it makes you stop crying over the phone for a bit.

“You’re more than just a pretty face, okay? Don’t listen to him. You’re smart, you’re kind and you’re wicked funny.. And I guarantee there’s a guy out there who will see what I see, okay?”

You take a sharp breath and nodd but quickly mutter a “Yes” as you realize he can’t see you through the phone.

“I just.. Why does this keep happening, Jake? Why are all the guys I end up with always such assholes?”

“It’s not you, angel. You’re really amazing, you know? Sometimes people like him… just don’t realize what they have right in front of them until it’s too late. He will definitely come crawling back to you in no time.” Jake says in a playful tone but his words held some truth — even through your fights Heeseung always came back.

You chuckle and it makes Jake smile. He hates seeing or hearing you cry, especially when it’s about your relationships and how you always deem yourself unworthy of love from anyone when it’s your boyfriends who just can’t appreciate you.

“Thank you, Jake. Thank you for being a friend. It’s so late right now..I’m sorry for bothering you.”

Jake chuckles as well. “You never bother me, angel.”

“I’ll call you tomorrow at 10.”

Then the phone call abruptly comes to an end and Jake sighs for the second time that night. He knows you won’t call, especially if Heeseung puts his ego aside and comes back to you tonight.

He takes the pillow from under his head and places it on top, muffling a scream as his own mind and especially you liked to play him in circles again and again.

II. HE TREATS YOU SO BAD AND I’M SO GOOD TO YOU, IT’S NOT FAIR

“Okay, enough.” Jake says as he looks away from you and Heeseung’s display of affection. “I’m seriously happy you got back together but I am still third-wheeling here…” he lies gritting his teeth.

To you it looks like he is actually happy for you and just annoyed by your public display of love with Heeseung but in reality? No, in reality he simply can’t stand seeing you act so in love with the boy when just three days ago he insulted you, called you mean words and broke it off. Just for him to come back to you, act all sad, say sorry and you forgive him just like that.

You push Heeseung slightly off you and lean closer to Jake to take his hand in yours, giving it a small squeeze. “I’m sorry, Heeseung just really wanted to come to the drive-in movie and I couldn’t say no..”

Heeseung drags you back into him and puts a hand over your shoulder while the other is sneaking between your thighs. You giggle and slap his hand away while muttering that “Jake is right here”. Jake quickly adverts his eyes, finding the movie on the playing suddenly interesting.

“Oh, it’s getting rather chilly…” you say after a few minutes and look longingly at your boyfriend, hoping for him to get the message and give you his jacket.

“I told you to bring a jacket, dummy.” Heeseung says, rolling his eyes but making no move of giving his jacket to his girlfriend. “How about you go get us some drinks, baby? Maybe if you move a bit you can get warm.”

Jake shakes his head at his words and scoffs. He takes off his jacket and puts it on your shoulders. “Here, Y/N.”

You smile gratefully at Jake, your eyes softening. “ Thank you, Jake. You’re the best.”

“Anytime,” Jake replies, his voice gentle. He glances at Heeseung, his expression hardening. “You should take better care of her, man.”

Heeseung shrugged, not even bothering to spare Jake a look. “She’s fine. She can handle herself.”

Jake clenches his jaw, resisting the urge to say something more. He hates how Heeseung keeps treating you, how he takes you for granted and never caring. He treats you so bad and he’s so good to you — it just wasn’t fair.

During the movie that Jake paid no attention to , he couldn’t help but compare himself to Heeseung. What does Heeseung have that he doesn’t? Is it the hair, the stupid leather jacket he always wears, the bambi eyes, the way he carries himself with such confidence or the way he seems to effortlessly attract attention wherever he goes?

Or maybe you just happen to like the way Heeseung makes you feel after all. The excitement of the chase, the push and pull, the high and low that came with every fight and every word in it, making it hurt but also giving you a rush feeling.

But he knows you. In the long run you don’t actually want all of that. As he steals a glance at the two of you, he feels like he could scream out right now that you could be with him now. He could offer you love, stability. He decides to push off that idea out of his mind as fast as it came. You are happy with Heeseung for now and that’s all that matters.

He feels a hand on his shoulder, a gentle touch that brings him back to the present. He looks up to see you, seeing your soft smile but when he looks into your eyes he sees sadness lingering behind them.

“Hey, we’re going to head out… Heeseung needs to meet up with some friends.” you say quietly to Jake, your voice barely above a whisper.

Jake frowns, feeling frustrated. “You can stay, can’t you? You love this movie!” he exclaims, his voice louder than he intends, hoping that Heeseung can hear the disappointment in his voice.

You purse your lips and shake your head. With a low voice you mutter an apology and start to take his jacket off to return it to him but he stops you.

“Keep it.” Jake tells you offering a smile that doesn’t quite reaches his eyes.

You nod, getting up quickly and follow Heeseung to leave the drive-in movie location. You take one look back to wave goodbye at Jake, seeing him standing there, his eyes locked on you.

Jake watches you leave, the weight of unspoken words heavy on his heart. He waves back, his smile fading as soon as you turn away.

He closes his eyes and looks up at the sky, the cool night air brushing against his skin. The stars twinkle above, indifferent to his inner turmoil. He takes a deep breath, the chilly air filling his lungs, and lets it out slowly, his breath visible in the night air.

In the silence of the drive-in, the sound of distant car engines and the murmur of people leaving fill the background, but Jake is lost in his thoughts. He thinks about all the moments he’s shared with you, the laughter, the tears, and the quiet times where just being near you was enough. He thinks about the way Heeseung treats you, and it makes his chest tighten with frustration and longing.

Jake opens his eyes, the stars still sparkling above, offering no answers, no solace. He knows he can’t keep this to himself much longer. The longer he waits, the more he sees you getting hurt, the more it eats away at him. But he can’t do it. He knows you need to know that someone out there loves you deeply but what if it his feelings would ruin everything for good? For now, all he can do is be there for you, as he always has been. He turns away from the screen, walking slowly to his car. As he gets in and starts the engine, he glances back at the empty space where you had been sitting, the memory of your sad smile etched in his mind.

III. SOMETIMES I’M SO CLOSE TO CONFESSION

Jake sits in his room, the soft glow of his desk lamp casting long shadows across the walls. His mind is a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions, his heart heavy with the weight of unspoken words. For weeks now, he’s been wrestling with the idea of confessing his feelings to you, his best friend and the person he cares about most in the world. But every time he tries to gather the courage to tell you how he feels, his fears and insecurities hold him back, trapping him in a cycle of doubt and self-pity.

“Hey, Jake, are you listening?” your voice takes him out of his thoughts. You get up from the bed and go sit on the desk chair next to him.

“No, sorry.” Jake smile sheepishly. “You were saying?” he attempts to play it off.

You roll your eyes. “I was talking about this new book coming up…” you trail off, talking about the upcoming release of your favourite author.

Jake can’t help but let himself watch you. He thinks about the way you smile, the way your soft giggle fills the room and makes his heart skip a beat and the way your eyes light up when you talk about something you’re passionate about just like now.

And as he listens to you talk, he can’t help but feel a sense of longing wash over him, a longing to tell you how he feels, to lay his heart bare and risk it all for the chance at something more.

“Y/N I-“ Jake suddenly interrupts you but his bravery doesn’t last long.

As the moment passes, the words stick in his throat, suffocating him with their weight. He wants to tell you, he really does, but the fear of rejection holds him back, paralyzing him with its grip.

“Yes? Did you want to say something?” you ask him and look up to him just to see him shake his head and motioning for you to continue talking about the book.

And so he sits there, silent and still, watching you with a mixture of adoration and regret, wishing he could find the courage to take the leap and tell you how he feels.

As you continue to talk, oblivious to the turmoil raging within him, Jake can’t help but wonder what it would feel like to hold you in his arms, to kiss you under the stars, to whisper words of love into your ear. But for now, all he can do is watch and wait, hoping that one day, he’ll find the strength to confess his feelings and take a chance on love.

“You will come with me, right?” you say to him suddenly. “To the book release? Heeseung doesn’t want to come, he thinks it’s silly..”

Jake's heart skips a beat at your words, his mind racing with a mixture of excitement and nervousness but also anger towards Heeseung — how could he think your passion, your hobby is something silly and telling you that to your face nonetheless? Jake keeps those thoughts of your boyfriend to himself. However the thought of spending time alone with you again, of being by your side as you indulge in something you love and hanging out just like old times, fills him with a sense of warmth and anticipation.

“Of course, Y/N,” he says, his voice soft.“I’d love to come with you.”

A smile spreads across your face, and Jake feels his heart swell with happiness at the sight. For a moment, everything else fades away, leaving just the two of you, lost in the moment together.

And as you talk excitedly about the upcoming event, Jake can't help but feel a sense of hope stir within him. Maybe this is his chance, his opportunity to finally confess his feelings and take a chance on love. And as he looks into your eyes, he knows that no matter what happens, he'll always be there for you, ready to support you and cherish every moment you share together.

IV. I’M RIGHT HERE, WHEN YOU GONNA REALISE // THAT I’M YOUR CURE?

“Heeseung, what’s gotten into you?” you ask, frustration clear in your tone as you watch him pace around your living room.

Heeseung stops and scoffs. “Are you serious?”

You fight the urge to roll your eyes. Ever since he tagged along to the the drive-in movie hang out between you and Jake and then found out you went with Jake to your book release event he started to act out. He rejects your ideas to go out on a date, he rejects initiating any kind of intimacy to you — even refusing to hold your hand, something he’s never done in your 6 months relationship.

You can’t help but feel confused and hurt by his sudden change in behaviour. He used to be so affectionate even if you had a fight and was always eager to show you off on dates and such but now he seems like a completely different person.

“Seriously, Heeseung. Talk to me, what’s going on?” you press, your voice tinged with worry.

Heeseung looks at you and steps closer. “You’re in love, baby.” he says while putting a strand of your hair behind your ear, smiling softly. “But not with me.”

“What?” you say, your mind racing as you try to process what he just said.

“I think you should give Jake a call.” Heeseung continues, his expression earnest though you can’t help but feel puzzled by his sudden insight. Heeseung chuckles. “C’mon, baby. Did you think I wouldn’t notice? How your eyes always light up when he’s around or how you always talk about him when he’s not and bring him up whenever there’s an opportunity? Or how you always compare what I do with what he does?”

You part your lips slightly, caught off guard by his observations. His words hit you like a bolt of lightning, sparking a flurry of emotions within you.

“But… I…” you stammer, struggling to find the words to express the tumultuous thoughts swirling in your mind.

Heeseung reaches out, gently cupping your face in his hands. “It’s okay, Y/N,” he says softly. “I understand. Hell, I’d fall in love with the guy too if he were to always drop everything and be at my beck and call. How did you not realise everything sooner? I swear, he has been so obvious the past weeks.” he chuckles. “Actually, did you know he had a presentation on the day you went with him to the book release? He talked with his professor to present it earlier so he could come with you.”

Heeseung’s words hit you like a sudden gust of winter wind, cutting through the air with their sharpness and leaving you feeling exposed and vulnerable. His observations about Jake’s actions leave you reeling, the realization sinking in like a heavy weight on your chest.

“I… I didn’t know,” you whisper, your voice barely above a whisper as you struggle to process the information. “I didn’t realize he was going out of his way for me…”

Heeseung’s hands drop from your face, his expression softening with understanding. “It’s okay, Y/N,” he says gently, his voice a comforting presence in the midst of the storm raging inside you. “Sometimes, it’s hard to see things clearly when you’re too close to them.”

You nod slowly, feeling a sense of guilt wash over you at the thought of all the times you may have overlooked Jake’s gestures of affection. How could you have been so blind to his feelings, so oblivious to the depth of his love for you?

Heeseung leans in closer and kisses your forehead. It’s a tender, lingering kiss, filled with a mixture of sadness and acceptance. He pulls back, looking into your eyes one last time with a strained smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. The weight of the moment hangs heavy between you, and you can feel the finality in his actions. He turns and walks towards the door.

You watch him leave, your heart aching as he steps out of your apartment. The door closes behind him with a soft click, and you stand there, feeling a profound sense of loss. Part of you wants to run after him, to call him back and somehow make everything right. But you know that some things can’t be fixed with a few words.

You move to the window and peer out, hoping to catch a glimpse of Heeseung, hoping he would turn back and give you one last look. But the street below is empty, and the cold night air feels like a reflection of the unresting feeling inside you.

For the first time after a break-up, you don’t call Jake. You take the night to yourself, the silence of your apartment enveloping you like a cold winter's night. Your mind is a whirlwind of confusion and heartache, the echoes of Heeseung's words lingering like a biting chill.

As you sit alone, wrapped in a blanket on the couch, your thoughts turn to Jake. The realisation that he might have deeper feelings for you sends a shiver down your spine. You’ve always seen him as your rock, your dependable best friend, but now, faced with the possibility that his feelings might run deeper, you feel an icy grip of uncertainty and fear tighten around your heart.

You think about all the moments you’ve shared with Jake, the late-night conversations, the inside jokes, the way he’s always been there for you. How could you have been so blind to his feelings? The thought of potentially hurting him, of disrupting the comfortable dynamic you’ve always shared, fills you with a sense of dread. It’s like stepping out into the harsh winter wind, unsure if you’ll be able to find your way back to the warmth and safety you’ve known.

You wrap the blanket tighter around yourself, seeking comfort in its embrace, but your mind continues to spiral. What if you don’t feel the same way? What if your feelings for Jake are merely a reflection of your gratitude and dependence on his unwavering support? The thought of leading him on, of giving him false hope, sends a pang of guilt through you. The guilt eats at you for not noticing sooner, for being so wrapped up in your own relationships and dramas that you missed the quiet, steady love that Jake might have been offering all along. It’s a chilling thought, realizing how much you might have overlooked in your pursuit of fleeting romances with others.

Your heart and mind feel like a frozen landscape, barren and cold, with no clear path forward. You can’t deny the flutter of something more when you think of Jake, but it’s buried under layers of confusion and fear. You’ve been through so much heartache, and the idea of risking your most cherished friendship for a chance at something more feels like walking on thin ice, fragile and treacherous.

The night wears on, and the cold, empty silence of your apartment presses down on you. You long for the warmth of Jake’s presence, his soothing voice and reassuring words, but you know you can’t run to him this time. You need to sort through your feelings, to understand what’s real and what’s born out of loneliness and a desire for comfort.

As the hours pass, you come to a bittersweet realization. You need to protect Jake from potential heartbreak, to shield him from the uncertainty that’s freezing your heart. You care for him too much to risk his happiness on your unresolved feelings. And so, for the first time, you decide to face this winter storm on your own, hoping that in the process, you’ll find clarity and the strength to either embrace or gently let go of what could be.

Tomorrow, you’ll see him, and maybe the warmth of his smile will melt some of the ice around your heart. But tonight, you wrap yourself tighter in your blanket and let the winter winds of your emotions rage on, knowing that some answers can only be found in the stillness of the cold.

You don’t see him tomorrow. Instead, you chose to run from him, from his feelings and your own. The weight of your confusion and fear makes you retreat further into yourself, wrapping the cold, comforting solitude around you like a protective cloak. You bury yourself in college work, books and anything that can keep your mind occupied. Yet, in the quiet moments — those still, silent spaces between the busyness — your thoughts inevitably drift back to Jake.

The look in Jake’s eyes when he’s with you haunts you. It’s a look filled with warmth and unspoken words. A look that now seems so painfully clear in hindsight. It’s as if he’s always been there, offering you a love as constant and reassuring as the summer sun, yet you were too caught up in the fleeting, cold winter winds of other relationships to notice.

Jake’s feelings for you feel like a warm summer day. They’re gentle and persistent, bringing light and comfort into your life without demanding anything in return. His love is the kind that warms you from the inside out, melting away the icy barriers you’ve built around your heart. But now, the fear of stepping into that warmth, of risking the friendship you hold so dear, keeps you trapped in a winter of your own making.

Meanwhile, Jake is left adrift, confused and hurt by your sudden withdrawal. He tries to seek you out, to understand why you’re avoiding him, but every attempt is met with distance. He feels like he’s chasing shadows, reaching out for something that slips further away with each passing day. He even tried to talk with Heeseung, hoping that the man knows something of why you’re acting this way towards him but much like you, Heeseung avoided him.

As the days turn into a week, the winter storm within you begins to show signs of weakening. The relentless busyness that you’ve thrown yourself into can’t keep the feelings at bay forever. In those quiet moments, when you’re alone with your thoughts, you start to feel the warmth of Jake’s love seeping through the cracks in your icy defenses.

You remember the way he looked at you, the gentle, unspoken promises in his eyes. The realization that you’ve been running from something so genuine, so pure, starts to thaw the fear and confusion that have held you captive. The warmth of Jake’s love begins to melt the ice around your heart, and you start to see things more clearly.

You know you can’t avoid him forever. The thought of hurting Jake, of causing him pain with your indecision, is unbearable. You decide that it’s time to face your feelings, to confront the truth that you’ve been so afraid of. You owe it to Jake, and to yourself, to be honest about what’s in your heart.

With a deep breath, you pick up your phone and send him a message, asking to meet. The anticipation of seeing him again fills you with a mix of dread and hope. You know the conversation ahead will be difficult, but it’s the only way to move forward.

As you wait for his response, you feel a sense of clarity. The journey ahead might be uncertain, but you’re ready to step into the light, to embrace the summer warmth that Jake’s love promises. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll find that the path you’re most afraid of is the one that leads you to the happiness you’ve been searching for.

“Ofcourse. When and where?”

His response is immediate, no hesitation, no hint of the confusion and hurt you know he must be feeling. The simplicity of his words, the readiness to meet despite everything, brings a small, bittersweet smile to your face. You suggest a quiet café near campus, a place you both know well, and set a time for the next afternoon.

The next day, as you make your way to the café, your mind is a whirlwind of emotions. The warmth of the spring sun on your face feels like a promise, a gentle reassurance that everything might just be okay. You take a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves, and step inside.

Jake is already there, sitting at a corner table. The sight of him sends a rush of emotions through you — relief, nervousness and a profound sense of familiarity. He looks up as you approach, and his puppy like smile is like a beacon of warmth cutting through your lingering uncertainty.

“Hey,” he says softly, standing up to greet you.

“Hey,” you reply, your voice a little shaky. You both sit down, and for a moment, there’s an awkward silence. Jake’s eyes search your face, and you can see the questions and concern in them.

“I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you,” you start, your voice barely above a whisper. “I just needed some time to think.”

Jake nods, his expression understanding but guarded. “I’ve been worried about you,” he admits. “I didn’t know what was going on, and I… I missed you.”

His words hit you like a gentle breeze, warm and reassuring, but also filled with a depth of emotion that makes your heart ache. “I missed you too,” you confess. “I needed to figure out some things… about us, about my feelings.”

Jake’s eyes widen slightly, a flicker of hope and fear crossing his face. “Us?Your feelings?” he echoes, his voice tense with anticipation.

You take a deep breath, gathering your courage. “Jake, you’ve always been there for me. You’ve been my rock, my best friend, and… I’ve realized that maybe, I’ve been blind to something that’s been right in front of me all along.”

His eyes are locked onto yours, and you can see the hope growing, the warmth in his gaze like the sun breaking through the clouds after a cold cold winter day. “What do you mean?” he asks softly.

“I mean…” you struggle to find the right words, the right way to express the tumult of emotions inside you. “I think I’ve been so caught up in my own fears and insecurities that I didn’t see what was right in front of me. You’ve always been there, and I’ve come to realize that… that I care about you, Jake. More than just as a friend.”

There, it’s out. You think as you let the words out of your mouth. The words hang in the air between you, a confession that feels both terrifying and liberating. Jake’s expression softens, a mixture of relief and overwhelming emotion flooding his face.

“I’ve cared about you for a long time.. I’m surprised you didn’t notice sooner,” he admits, his voice shaking slightly. “I didn’t know how to tell you without risking what we have. But hearing you say that… it means everything to me.”

You reach across the table, taking his hand in yours. The simple touch feels like a lifeline, grounding you in this moment of vulnerability and honesty. “I’m scared, Jake,” you confess. “I’m scared of losing what we have, but I’m more scared of never knowing what we could be.”

Jake squeezes your hand, his grip warm and reassuring. “We’ll figure it out together,” he promises. “We’ve always been there for each other, and that won’t change. I want to be with you, Y/N. Not just as your friend, but as someone who loves you.”

His words are like the first true warmth of summer, melting away the last of your fears. You smile, a genuine, hopeful smile, and nod. “I want that too, Jake. I want to see where this goes, with you.”

As you sit there, hand in hand, you feel the ice around your heart finally melt away, replaced by the warmth and promise of a new beginning. The journey ahead might be uncertain, but with Jake by your side, you know you’ll face it together, one step at a time.

[excalibur-gone-missing]

Hello, hope this message finds you well!!!

My birthday is tomorrow and I was wondering if I could request something for Wonwoo or Jeonghan,,, something that starts as angst and ends as fluff maybe? I've been feeling so shitty lately, sigh.

But also!!! I totally understand if you don't accept this req hehe

Have a good day/night ahead ❤️

P.S. if you accept anons, can I be 🦷 ?

Paring: wonwoo x fem!reader, jeonghan x fem!reader

Requested: yes

Genre: fluff, angst

Warning(s): cheating, a bit of violence

Summary: wonwoo cheats and jeonghan swoops in to save the day

Word count: 1.0k

Other works

Beta reader: none (its not proof read)

disclaimer: this is not the exact representation of the subjects in real life. I just use them for my inspiration.

a/n: I request each and every one of you to comment on this fic don't be a silent reader it helps me as an author to understand my readers and i would love to communicate with all of you. Constructive criticism is always welcomed by me so do talk about this fic or send me an ask.

[permanent taglist] [only for those interested, don’t fill the form otherwise]

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a/n 2: hey! happy birthday!! or advanced birthday! I wanted to post a proper fic, but as its your birthday, i didnt want to make you wait. so a drabble for i shall provide :)

plus i hope you feel better soon. im rooting for you!!!!!!

btw yes i accept anons, and i would love to talk with all of you! ✨✨✨✨

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Wonwoo is a busy man. I mean of course he is. The stelar kid of the family, the only child to get a medical degree and also the one to have a fiancé at the age of thirty-one ready to get married and start his own family.

The man was just the epitome of brilliance and was always diligent and hardworking. He was filled with back up plans and made more back up plans for those said back up plans. He was so into creating the perfect life for himself, he even made sure that he has another lady in store to be on the safe side because what if this one leaves him?

Now this is where you come to play. Unbeknownst to you the doctor you had been dating for the better half of two years, has already made plans for his happily ever after with another. What is more hilarious is the one said lover of his is none other than your distant cousin.

Being a woman with normal job that requires working for normal hours in the office, you accepted the fact that you would never understand the intensive hours these doctors work. Yes there were times when he was not called on his pager but his phone and was asked to immediately go to the hospital. Yes there were times when you had gone to the hospital to surprise him only to know that he was not there. And yes he specifically told you he wanted to keep the relationship private as all his coworkers are too nosy for their good.

Should you have figured out that the one guy you were madly in love with was already set to become the husband of other?

Yes

But did you?

Absolutely not!

Maybe that is why he kept you around, you were easy to lie to or were you just a good lay?

You would never know. Funnily enough you wouldn’t have know about the woman either if she wouldn’t have come to your house after your genius of a lover forgot to turn of his location during his nightly escapades with you.

The lady came storming into the house looked around in search of the man who had wronged her all while screaming at the top of her lungs at trying to make her presence known.

You would have never felt the hurt you felt that day if Wonwoo knew how to be a loyal man to his fiancé. You would have never have to hear the words, “this is the bitch you were fucking behind my back all this time,” from that lady. While she slapped you like she hated you and took jabs at your pride.

She made you question your integrity, your life and all your actions. Was it your fault that the man who said sweet ‘I love you’s to you every night was also telling them to his beloved fiancé. Maybe it was.

But the deed was done your self-respect was destroyed. Now you would always look at the mirror and realize that it was you who was the other woman. It was you who took the beautiful fantasy of one home away from another.

You left Wonwoo that day. He never tried to call. You were never important to him anyway. He left you broken, questioning your values, your life, and your actions.

This hurt more than any breakup you had been through because it was when you realized how naïve you were, how it was easy to lie to you. It made you feel like shit and there was no going back.

You stopped visiting your family, and meeting too scared to see those disappointed looks on their faces. What if you stumbled upon her when there was a function, she would hate you and you were too scared to face anyone let alone yourself.

She got married to him anyway. It was just a small hiccup in their relationship, while it did indeed destroyed you, they were happy. It is all that mattered to them. And although you would give them the credit for moving on with their lives, you couldn’t say the same for yourself.

It was then you had met Jeonghan, the man was funny and jovial, a bit of a prankster. He was exactly what you needed to escape life. He was the breath of fresh air you needed. He anchored you to reality and let to feel the happiness of life.

The friendship you both had built, had come shattering down one day when you got to realize he was friends with none other than the man you threw you down the shameful spiral of self-hatred.

That week you reused to talk to the man, at all. He suddenly made your skin crawl. For if he were friends with a man as despicable as Wonwoo after all his deeds, how much of a monster could he actually be. You didn’t want to stick around to get to know that.

Exactly a week after that Jeonghan was standing at your door. And was ready to make you talk no matter what. And talk you did that day. You shouted at the man for a whole hour to make sure he understood you would never be the other woman again. You were fooled once but you refused to be fooled twice.

After your shouting spree, he had held you to calm you down and told you he didn’t know what had Wonwoo done. He apologized profusely for the hurt his friend caused you while relentlessly promising to never betray you.

That day he asked you for a chance and just asked you to trust him for this once and let him in your life. He promised he would make sure you never you feel any less than what you should. He promised that you were enough for him and would spend his whole life proving it to you.

Surprisingly enough he did. He never left you once after that, never let you question your worth. Now after almost thirty years. You are happy with the man. You have lived a life were you enjoyed every bit of it. Jeonghan made sure you did. With your three kids happy and settled, you both went to live in the countryside seeking the peace that comes with it. You are happy and you are sure you would trade the whole world for this happiness. But good for you, you don’t need to.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

a/n 3: i hope you liked this !!

[catintheruemorgue]

annoying things they do

summary: small things these guys do that just grinds your gears a bit.

characters: oda, dazai, kunikida, twain, akutagawa, atsushi, mori, poe, ranpo, fittzgerald, steinbeck, chuuya, yosano, gin, kouyou, higuchi, alcott and lucy

these are all based off things i do or have inconvenienced my life lmfao i’ll probs do a part two with everyone i missed this just got wayyy to long lol next im posting being friends with double black 

Oda:

If you're wearing shorts and have bruises he will poke them when you're resting your legs on him. He’s silent about it too and if you yell at him he pretends to act like he doesn't know what you're talking about.

Will smack your sunburn but this one is actually an accident. He just wanted to pat you on the back because you're amazing.

Will space out when you talk too long, sometimes certain objects are just so… mesmerizing

Dazai:

Loves to jumpscare you the only exception is if it was a trigger. In that case he will just call your name and whip something at you for you to catch at random.

When you're driving he likes to reach over and honk your horn. It's almost caused so many roadside fistfights.

If he sees a dog in public he will bark and growl at it.

Kunikida:

Won’t let you on the bed without socks on. You could be sick as a dog and he’ll still enforce this rule.

Cleaning is hard because he has a hard time throwing things away. You'll spend extra time as he holds two identical pens, trying to decide which one he wants to keep. He’s learned to plan certain days in his schedule for cleaning now.

Won't let you turn up the music in the car and will keep it at a level that's so low it's annoying.

Twain:

Walks around the house shirtless but then complains about how cold it is.

Blasts his music so loud when he wakes up in the morning and it's always early 2000’s hits. It's not rare for you to have Pocketful of Sunshine by Natasha Bedingfield stuck in your head by 9 am.

Always has to climb something, this stems from his adventurous side. It's not really that annoying but when you’re in a crowded area and he runs off to go climb the tall statue, screaming at you to take a photo… Yes it is. Especially when children try and follow him and you're stuck receiving glares from the parents.

Akutagawa:

Will not let you throw any food products out. He tells you it's a perfectly good meal (even if it's not) and that he will eat it tomorrow. It’s sad because you know this stems from childhood but it’s still annoying.

Reuses the same gross, musty ziplock baggies. You keep buying new ones but he doesn't get it lol.  

Will tell you if your breath smells, hair is messy, outfit is ugly. He does not see an issue with this and it's nice knowing someone has your back but he doesn't have to be so rude about it..

Atsushi:

If he drinks he's one of those drinkers who will not let you take it from him. Keeps an iron grip on the cup. He finishes it no matter how drunk and always throws up. Thankfully he rarely drinks.

He stops to help everyone, literally even if they just look like they need help. You've been late to so many things.

Will eat anything. Once you made steak and somehow forgot about it. It was hard as a brick yet he still almost broke his teeth eating it. You think you saw some tears as he told you it was delicious.

Mori:

Listens to people's conversations in public and isn't afraid to comment, loudly, about it. You know it's loud because they either stop talking or try and confront you guys.

Comes up to stops fast and brakes so hard you feel like he does it on purpose.

Sometimes if he and Elise get into a “disagreement” he’ll try and rope you in to take his side and you always do, knowing it would probably give him more satisfaction if you chose to side with her.

Poe:

Asks for constructive criticism but will then argue with you about why you're wrong.

Always humming a song he heard Twain singing and then it gets stuck in your head too.

Will deny stupid things like why your favorite mug is in the trash or why he just let out rather loud scream in the bathroom. You know he's lying because he looks away and makes sure his bangs are covering his eyes.

Ranpo:

Will call you out on any lie even if you don't mean to lie you just forgot about some of the details.

Don't take him grocery shopping if you have a set amount you want to spend. He won't even sneak, he will just say he wants something and throw it in the cart.

Such a backseat driver even though he can't drive.

Fitzgerald:

Likes to act like he's still in his twenties and will somehow get the two of you invited to college parties where he will attempt to do a kegger in front of everyone. You end up being the one to hold him up and he always ends with a, “LETS FUCKING GO!”

Likes to ask for the senior discount even though he's not that old, he just likes to hear the women validate that he's not old.

It’s scary how he used to buy without looking and now will scream if the price on a price tag is too high.

Steinbeck:

Always looking at the grass for wheat to chew on. It's so cheesy when you walk into the city and he's got it sticking out of his mouth.

He gets weirdly intimate with nature and you feel like you're third wheeling.

Has the mentality that he has to provide for you because he is the man. He gets so shocked when he finds out you still want to work.

Chuuya:

Has a hard time making decisions you could ask him what he wants for dinner and his mind will just break.

Gets way too pissed at movies and will actually get up and walk away. Once you were kicked out of the theater because he wouldn't stop yelling at the screen. Another time he walked out you waited a whole ten minutes before you realized he wasn't coming back.

Sometimes activates his ability at night and it's so scary waking up to him floating halfway across the room.

WOMAN TIME!!!!!!!!!!

Yosano:

Will glare at you so intensely if you say something she disagrees with.

Always tries to rope you into drinking with her even if you’ve said no the past ten nights.

Will describe wounds or injuries in such detail and just won’t stop, almost like she’s trying to fuck with you, but she’s not.

Gin:

Claims to be nothing like her big brother but then will go on to make the same facial expressions and do some of the same mannerisms as him.

Will spend hours trying things on just to put it all back, leave the store and change her mind when you’re almost home. Then she’ll have you run back with her to buy it all.

Is used to sneaking around so scares you a lot. Also on the topic of being silent sometimes she just won’t respond, thinking you can just read her vibes / mind.

Kouyou:

Will judge what you eat, especially fast food but will try and steal a fry in private when you're not looking.

Will say things like, “Well that's just the way the world works.” If someone tries to share their baggage with her. You understand she’s had a pretty rough life but it's caused you to almost spit out your drink multiple times.

At functions forgets about you for about an hour while she mingles with everyone else, you could tap on her shoulder and she'll dismiss you like you're a subordinate. Until you clear your throat again you'll see the slight blush as she apologizes.

Higuchi:

She has no sense of privacy. If she hears a crash or loud noise she will bust down the door. It’s sweet but not when the noises are usually from you knocking all the shampoo bottles down again.

Horrible road rage actually puts you on edge to be in the car with her. She doesn't even have to be driving.

Likes to act like she's a professional at everything and people usually believe it because of her suit. It's so nerve wracking when she giggles when they walk away with false information.

Alcott:

Will agree to everything you suggest but you can only tell when she doesn’t want to do it when you’re currently doing it.

Yet she’s not afraid to grumble about how annoying it is when someone bumps into you and doesn’t apologize. It’s sweet but you’re left dealing with the situation if the person is aggressive enough to say something.

Always corrects your spelling or if you say something like “I could care less.”

Lucy:

Will fish for compliments in a very obvious way like, “Wow. Wish someone would call me pretty..” and then just stare right at you.

Kicks you so violently in her sleep but won't let go of you so you cant get away.

Constantly stealing from restaurants. You're banned from a couple restaurants because she got caught trying to steal a cup or salt shaker.

[fungifaggot]

Please Take Me Home...

A/n: Back again with an annual post wahoo. Anyway, I hope yall are doing okay and staying safe. (Heads up I didn’t edit this well)

!Feel free to send constructive criticism!

Summary: Peter is drunk and alone and he wants to go home. Little did he know, asking you for a ride home would be one of the best decisions he ever made.

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: Swearing, underaged drinking, sad peter, Ion kno.

The music was loud and the air was warm. The house was full of nearly one hundred sweaty bodies colliding into one another, yet somehow Peter managed to still feel alone.

Deep breaths he told himself

Yet with every passing gasp for air the sensation of suffocating only grew stronger. He wanted to get out of there, and he wanted to get out now.

For the past hour he had been on a search for Ned and Mj,  and as much as it pained him to do so, he was coming to terms with the fact that they had left him, and therefore so did his ride. (Not that they'd ever do that, but let's just assume they thought he had already left or something)

Good god did he wish that he had never been talked into coming, and god did he wish that he wasn’t still there.

Yet no matter how hard he wished or how tight he shut his eyes, every time they opened he was still there. Surrounded. Not only by people, but with booze, loud music, and the disgusting warmth that was radiating off the flesh of every sweaty intoxicated teenager.

At that very moment everything was wrong. His head was throbbing, rhythmic pounding clouding any coherent thought he had, and surely the loud bass wasn’t helping

Peter knew that you also had attended the party, but subconsciously he had been trying his best to avoid you in any way possible.

You see, it wasn't because he disliked you or anything. In fact, it was quite the opposite.

You and Peter got along great. The bond between You, Mj, Ned, and Peter was unbreakable and he loved spending time with you, but despite your friendly personality, Peter was appalled at the idea of talking to you. He couldn’t help it. Any time he was around you, he reeked of insecurity. Feeling as though he wasn’t good enough. You weren’t popular per say, but the way you held yourself in such a laid back yet confident manner had somehow managed to leave a great impression with just about everyone. And it was that fact about you that made Peter doubt himself. He’d tell himself that he was much too boring or too ‘lame’ to be around you. And although he knew you’d never think that about him yourself, he’d instantaneously tense up and get painfully awkward the second you walked into the room, and that alone that made him fear your presence.

(It also didn't really help that he had the worst crush on you.. Like seriously the worst. As in staying up till 2:00 am stalking your social media type of bad.)

Despite Peter's dread, he was beginning to realize that he wasn't exactly given a choice. There was no one else in the house even remotely worth talking to except you. And with that in mind Peter began his second search of the night.

It only took him about two solid minutes to give up, in which he resorted to just tapping someone on the shoulder and asking.

“HEY! DO YOU KNOW WHERE (Y/N) IS?” He shouted, unable to hear his own voice over the sound of the blaring music.

“OH YEAH! HE’S UPSTAIRS IN THE ROOM TO THE LEFT...I THINK” Was the slurred response he received.

“OH UHH OKAY. THANK YOU” Peter replied.

“YEAH ANYTIME MAN” he heard behind him as he beelined to the staircase.

Inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth he reminded himself as he made his way up the stairs, trying to build up courage with every step he passed.

He took one last deep breath, attempting to calm the violent shaking occurring within his hands. He formed them into a fist and brought one up to the door, sending a knock that would echo throughout the hallway.

“Come in~” he heard from behind the door, giving him permission to enter.

As soon as the door creaked open, he was met face to face with a thick cloud of smoke. He stepped inside, taking in a deep breath, flooding his nose with the stench of marijuana before almost immediately making eye contact with you. 

“Peteyyyy” You sang out, halting the conversation you were previously having

,but before Peter had the chance to respond, his voice hitched in the back of his throat and an overwhelming feeling of warmth tremored throughout his body. He knew something bad was about to happen. He knew he was going to puke...

“Uhhh, s-sorry. Wrong room.” He muttered out, making a 180 degree turn before bolting out the door. His palms began to sweat and his mouth salivated heavily. He tried to breathe and suppress the violent urge to puke, but knew that there was no hope. He ran to the closest bathroom, not bothering to knock as he bursted through the door slamming it shut behind him. He made his way to the (thankfully already open) toilet and emptied out his stomach. He continued to gag, and eventually made himself comfortable on the bathroom floor when he felt he was finished. He flushed the contents down and rested his cheek on the toilet seat only to then perk his head up when he heard a light knock on the bathroom door.

“Hey Petey, you doin’ okay in there?”

“Y-yeah im okay! Just a little...tired that's all!” He rushed out, internally smacking himself in the face. “Just a little tired”? What the fuck Peter.

He heard the door open and rushed into a sitting position, trying to appear as normal.

You sauntered in, closing the toilet lid and taking a seat on it.

“You doin’ okay?” You repeated.

“Yeah, i’m just fine. Y’know.. like I said.” He responded, flashing you a forced smile.

You rolled your eyes at him and gave his hair a gentle pet.

“You sure? You seem... off.” you uttered, handing him a bottle of water.

Peter sighed accepting your offer, moving his eyes down to his feet.

“I just don’t really want to be here right now.” he said before taking a swig.

“Shit...I’m sorry.” you sighed out.

“There anything I could do to help?”

Peter brought his sorrow filled eyes back up to yours,

“I-is there any way you could take me home?”

“Fuck. Baby you know I would if I could, but I’m uh... not exactly sober right now.” You responded, guilt lacing your words, as you began to regret your decisions.

“Baby”. He knew it was a word that you’d throw around to any of your close friends, but he couldn't suppress the warm feeling that burned throughout his body when it rolled off your tongue.

Peter let out a shy chuckle continuing to sip from the bottle and replied

“Yeah, tell me about it.”

“Looks like neither of us are driving.” You said with a deep chuckle.

“Where’s Ned and Mj? I bet they’d help.” You asked after a few seconds of silence.

“Gone.”

“Oh...” Was all you could find yourself responding with.

You stood up from where you sat, extending your hand out to Peter.

“Lets get outta here. Even if it's just for a bit.” You said with a slanted smile.

You helped him up slowly, placing your free hand on his lower back, directing him towards the door.

Peter waited at the top of the stairs while you notified your friends of your departure.

As soon as you returned you took a hold of his hand and guided him down the stairs and out the door. A small gust of wind met your face as the door shut behind you. The sweat gathered on the back of Peter's neck began to fade and the throbbing in his head lessened. Not completely, but enough for it to be bearable.

“Feels good to be out of there huh?” You said almost as if you had read his mind, compelling him to nod in agreement.

The two of you began to walk in a random direction, hands still together. Peter's mind racing a million miles a minute.

“Where did Ned and Mj go?”

“Is (Y/n) annoyed that he has to spend time with me?”

“Oh god, my hands are sweating aren't they…”

“What... you nervous or somethin?” You giggled, raising your connected hands into the air and squishing  them together to emphasize the fact that they were sticky.

If it weren’t for the fact that it was nearly 1:00 in the morning and there were no cars out, Peter swore he would’ve jumped in front of one without hesitation.

“Oh um, i’m sorry...” He muttered, embarrassment flooding his system, so much to the point it  nearly put the boy in tears.

“Awe, c’mon I'm just kidding around” you said, rolling your eyes.

“Oh ha-haaa” Peter replied sarcastically, sending you a childish pout.

You bumped your hip into his as a friendly gesture, causing him to stumble a bit.

“It’s...cute.”

“Cute.” He muttered, moreso to himself than you.

The two of you continued to walk, not even sure where it was you planned on going. The silence grew thicker with every passing second, but Peter was much too caught up in his own thoughts to even notice. You released his grip, bringing him back to reality, and went to dig around your pocket.

“Aha-” you brought your hand back up, displaying a pair of airpods (or any bluetooth ones idrc)

“You want it?” You asked, wiggling your phone in the air.

“O-oh! Sure!” he said, snatching it and placing it in his ear.

You put on (S/n). (‘Song name’, I humbly recommend ‘One Last Time by Summer Salt’) Peter's nerves settled as the rhythm of the song blared through his ears, drowning out his pesky thoughts.

You grabbed his hand again and started to swing it to the beat. Peter stared at you in awe as you swayed your head from side to side, meandering a bit as you walked. Eventually you swung your arm around Peter's shoulder, forcing him to move with you. If it weren't for the alcohol he probably would have laughed it off and nudged you, but instead he immitated your actions and began to sway overdramatically. That continued until you came to an abrupt stop and pointed. Peter followed you gaze, finding himself staring at a park.

You looked at him for a long second before bolting off towards the park without warning.

“Hey!” Peter yelped out, out eventually following your lead.

You ran and clumsily dove into a swing set, pushing yourself up off the ground, in a ‘superman’ pose before you came back down, dragging your hands and feet through the wood chips. You swung back and forth a few times before Peter came up and pushed your back so you rose up  once again.

“Excuse you!” You laughed out flailing your legs in attempt to get him off of you, before ‘gracefully’ sliding off so that you stumbled for a second before ending up on your ass.

“You look like a dumbass” Peter said with a bright smile, kicking some wood chips at you.

You stood up, brushing your self off while looking him in the eyes

“and you love it” you said with a wink.

“Shut up” He said, lightly shoving your chest and turning away to hide his blush.

After that the two of you messed around, sliding down slides, and fucking around on the monkey bars until you eventually ended up laying down in a grass field looking up at the stars.

The two of you talked about everything. College, work, the party, Peters ‘internship’, everything.

“Why don’t we talk more?” you sighed out as you sat back up.

“I don’t know...” Peter lied, whilst clumsily rolling over to rest his head on your thigh.

“Well. We should.” You stated, moving so that you were looking down into his eyes. You stayed in the position for what felt like forever, enjoying the gentle wind, as you analyzed Peters features. 

You pulled out your phone, breaking the silence after reading the time

2:30 am 

“You wanna head back?” You asked, ruffling Peter's hair.

“Back where exactly?”

“My place?”

“Sure” Peter yawned.

You turned your music back up once you were both standing, hands interlocking once again as you started your adventure for the second time that night.

Once you returned to the house, you saw that the lights were still on and the music was very much still blaring. 

You opened the car door on Peters side before walking around and getting in yourself.

As the two of you got seated Peter handed you your head phone back and let his body relax.

You reached into the back and pulled up a soft blanket, handing it to Peter. 

You turned the radio on, keeping the volume low as you gave yourself some time to completely sober up. You turned to Peter so you could continue the conversation from earlier, only to be met with a sleeping boy.

Drool dribbled from his lips and slight snores emitted from him. His hair was a mess and boy did he not look comfortable, but you thought it was sweet nonetheless.

You pulled your phone out and snapped a picture of him.

You were definitely gonna show him that in the morning

After about another 30 minutes of simply relaxing, you turned the key and drove off.

Peter mumbled in his sleep as you nudged him for what was probably the hundredth time, only waking up when you smacked him in the back of the head. You led him to the apartment door and unlocked it, kicking your shoes off to the side as soon as you entered. 

Once you reached your room, you swung the door open, signaling for him to enter before you.

“Such a gentleman” Peter said in a groggy voice, before making himself comfortable and plopping onto your bed. He nearly fell back asleep until he was abruptly hit by a flock of clothes.

“There ya go- figured you’d want em’ since we're covered in dirt.” You chuckled

“Oh yeah...and this” tossing him a brand new toothbrush.

You tore your shirt off and chucked it into a random corner, grabbing some clean sweatpants as you made your way to the bathroom.

You turned around at the door, noticing that Peter had been staring at you

“I’ll be right back”

After brushing your teeth and changing, you came back out. Peter taking your previous position in the bathroom.

In the meantime you got comfortable, rearranging the pillows so that they were equally distributed.

Peter eventually came back out dressed in your clothes, looking almost as if he were drowning in your hoodie. If you could have snapped a picture right then and there, you would have, but simply seeing him like that was enough for you.

You lifted up the blanket signalling for him to join you, and he did so after turning off all the lights.

You both laid next to each other in the dark for a bit before you heard Peter turn to face you.

You turned your head just so that you could just make out his general figure. Despite it being dark, you could see that Peter was looking up at you with his puppy like eyes.

“Could you uhm... could you maybe hold me?” He stammered out.

You smiled softly, not that he could see it, and wrapped an arm around his chest, pulling him into you, and allowing himself to burrow in and get as warm as possible.

“Of course Peter” you whispered into his hair

“Of course...”

___________

Tags:

@marvelgbtposts @eliotsbambimargo @ethanharli @baldsaitama @malereaderinsert @malereader-inserts @myfeetkeepdancing @malereaderimagines @dis-boi-be-a-gay-peter @jerod-writes @katsukispicycaramel @luv-hqs @sinfulcries

(literally let me know asap if my tags are annoying you LMAO)

[say-writes-sometimes]

"So maybe I am jealous"

Nathan Young x Reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: nothing really but slight language, heavy kissing

a/n: This is just Nathan getting jealous when you go to the bar, he starts getting a little possessive

This is my first Nathan Fic so yeah, constructive criticism is definitely wanted 💛

As you were cleaning the windows of the community center you were not oblivious to the glances Nathan threw at you. This had been going on for a while now and you were desperately waiting for him to finally make a move. He was usually too cocky for his own good, but when you actually wanted him to be honest and upfront he kept his pretty lips sealed.

You thought your hints were quite obvious, the way you laughed at his bad jokes and smiled at his disgusting antics. Nathan didn't seem to pick up on all of this though.

Wiping down the soapy window, you spied a young man walking through the community center looking around rather lost. You walked past Nathan, sparing him a lingering gaze he didn't notice and stalked through the double doors into the community center.

-"hey, I saw you wandering around in there multiple times, uhm anyway can I help you find your way?"

-"yeah that would be nice. This place is like a labyrinth and I keep on walking the same halls over and over again"

-"oh, believe me I know. Where can I guide you... ?", you asked noticing you didn't know his name yet and letting your sentence drifting off into nothingness.

- "I'm sorry, it's Ken, I am looking for Sally, do you happen to know her?"

-" I'm [y/n]. I know Sally, she must be wandering around here somewhere doing whatever she does all day long, but I can show you to her office if you like?"

-"Thank you [y/n], you are my saviour!"

You chuckled lightly at his comment and started to lead him to Sally's office, still smiling softly to yourself. Ken was a good looking young fella, there was no denying that. Easy conversation flowed between the two of you as you passed the window the other five were currently cleaning. You could feel their gazes on you as you passed. Nathan's eyes followed you far longer down the halls than you would have expected.

-"What is she doing there with that twat?", Nathan exclaimed rather irritated.

-"What do ya think, dickhead, she's talking to him", Kelly stated matter-of-factly while rolling her eyes at Nathan. His thoughts kept bothering him. He didn't know why he was so irritated by you hanging around with another guy, it's not like there was something going on between them, was there?

You arrived Infront of the office doors and saw Sally sitting inside talking animately on the phone.

-"I should get going before she sees me. I don't want to get any more work put on my shoulders today. See yah around sometime?", you said hurriedly, really not wanting Sally to catch you there when you had work to finish.

-"wait!", Ken called out to you as you turned around, "would you like to go out for a drink tonight?", he finished, his cheeks starting to glow in soft hues of red. His smile stayed on, though, and turned quite cheeky. He was up for mischief and you most definitely knew it. He actually had the balls to ask you out, unlike the guy you set your eyes on. Getting your mind of Nathan for a night won't hurt right?

-"yes I would like that"

-"I will meet you here at seven then [y/n]?"

You agreed before bidding your goodbyes and hurrying back to the windows, smiling goofily.

"Mind telling us who the guy was [y/n]?", Alisha asked smirking, nudging a very grumpy looking Nathan.

"Uhm, that was Ken, wanted to talk to Sally I guess", you answered, unsure where this conversation would lead.

"he looks like he could give you right a good time, you know?", Alisha added, evil smirk broadening, splitting her face.

Nathan grumbled a quiet "I'm done" under his breath while turning to leave.

"I might find out t'night, we're going out for a couple pints at the bar later", you answered not knowing whether or not you wanted Nathan to hear about your plan. The question answered itself as soon as you finished when Nathan twirled back around, eyebrows pulled together and exclaimed: "Oh really? Have fun shaggin' the bastard then tonight". You noticed the sarcastic tone in his voice and for a split second you thought you heard a pinch of pain in his voice, but the thought disappeared as soon as Nathan stomped away.

"What's the matter with 'im?", Kelly wondered out loud. The answer was unknown to you all, Kelly probably hearing your thoughts trying to put the pieces together.

Later in the locker room you took your time, hoping to get a moment alone with Nathan but he seemed to be too much in a hurry to get away from you. He did not look back, he didn't even say goodbye to anyone that day. You tried to shrug it of as well as you could while changing out of your orange jumpsuit.

At seven sharp you reached the Community Center and saw Ken already waiting for you, looking at his watch absentmindedly. As you reached him you couldn't help but smile. He was dressed in Jeans and a dress shirt. You looked out of place dressed in your usual jeans and sweatshirt.

-"You look lovely tonight [y/n]", Ken beamed at you.

-"Thank you, you don't look too shabby yourself there", you answered, slightly blushing at his words.

You walked to the bar close to each other but not quite touching. Smalltalk flooded the cool evening air and you welcomed the comfortable heat inside the bar he chose, as you stepped over the threshold.

He was the definition of a gentleman all throughout the date. Polite, charming. But something put you off, it seemed forced and not genuine. Nonetheless you enjoyed yourself and you had a good time.

He walked you home that night, confidently grasping your hand, his grip was tight and not comforting at all, but you brushed it off. When the two of you arrived at your doorstep you lingered for a few moments.

-"so this is it. That's me right here."

The moment you said that Ken leaned down and his face closed in on yours. Shocked and overwhelmed by his sudden action you turned your head away. His lips brushing your cheeks instead. He pulled away, "when will I see you again?", he sighed.

-"soon", was the only thing you muttered as you turned and opened your door, slipping inside and leaning against the closed door, letting out the breath you held.

_

As you walked to Community Service early the next morning you thought back to the little date you had the night prior. Even though it brought a slight smile to your face and a glow to your skin, it also made you shiver slightly.

-

Last night after the community service Nathan left the locker room as fast as he could. He didn't want to talk to [y/n] then, he doesn't want to now either. In his tiny mind you chose that bastard over him. So that night he sat alone on the balcony, letting his legs tumble down swinging them lightly. He had pizza that night, but the knot in his stomach didn't let him finish it. He himself couldn't tell what was wrong. A scowl decorated his usually carefree face.

"Ken? What's that for a Barbie doll shit name?", he mumbled to himself. But there is no way he could be jealous of that wanker.

Nathan looked into the mirror. He had it all, face, body hell his hair should be enough to sweep [y/n] of her feet.

_

He was back to his cocky self when you entered the locker room, slight spring in your step and a gentle smile tugging at your lips.

"Hey there, how are you today?", you greeted him, trying to sound casual.

"Amazing, why wouldn't I be ? How was your date with Barbie?", he bit back.

"Is somebody jealous?", you teased wondering where this new found confidence came from.

"Why would I be jealous of him? I mean have you seen him? Have yah seen me? ", Nathan replied hastily, you could see his tough exterior faltering slightly.

"Nathan, I think you are", you were getting more and more sure of yourself, some might even say you were getting cocky.

"So yeah maybe I am jealous but what does that matter anyway now? You got that dickhead with ya now", he didn't even try to hide his sarcastic tone.

"Who told you that, I am nobody's property", you told Nathan as you stepped closer to him, "I think you're cute when you're jealous, Nathan".

"I am not cute [y/n], do you want me to proof that to yah?", Nathan , now smirking, closed the distance between the two of you. You backed up against the cold metall of the locker with a thud. His green eyes bored steadily into yours, occasionally flicking to your slightly parted lips. You were at a loss for words at his sudden boldness, but you weren't complaining. This was what you were waiting for all along. As your thoughts tumbled around your mind, Nathan leaned in an captured your lips with his. Slowly at first but the kiss grew heated fast.

Your heart rate exhilarated, and both of your breaths grew heavier. You pulled away to get a gasp of air into your lungs. One of Nathan's hands rested next to your head and the other softly at your hips. Your foreheads leaned against eachother as you caught your breaths.

"You don't know how long I've been wanting to do that and way more to you", Nathan breathed out. "Yeah, me neither", you contered, chest still heaving heavily. Without any more words you leaned back in, continuing where you left off. Tounges battling for dominance exploring each others mouths thoroughly. Nathan's narrow hips started to grind against yours, eclicting a soft moan from you, harmonizing with his low grunt. You totally lost yourself in him when the sound of the heavy locker room door destroyed the atmosphere.

"Oh .. my god... That is disgusting", Kelly exclaimed, "what do you think you're doing in 'ere?"

"I was just showing [y/n] there that I am not cute, and was about to give her a demonstration of the beast that is now awake", Nathan said while biting his lip and suggestively winking in your direction. You blushed, the taste of him still lingering in your mouth, leaving you wanting more. To be continued, you hoped.

[henrycavell]

homecoming

summary: Syverson has been medically discharged from the army after a suicide attempt. He’d been able to hide his deteriorating mental health for years from the men around him, but now he has to face it head on. Hopefully not alone. 

word count: 1,426

pairing: Syverson x OFC 

*I plan on intentionally not describing the girl much, so that when you’re reading you can think of her however you’d like to!

warnings: smut later on, there will be cursing and mentions of depression, anxiety, there will be suicide attempts and self harm though i am not sure how detailed i will go into that! if things get really detailed, i will make sure to put warnings on those specific chapters.

a/n: I am not looking for constructive criticism on this. It’s been a very long time since I’ve written any fan-fiction, though I’ve been roleplaying nonstop for the last few years, I feel a little nervous posting something that’s entirely just mine. So right now, I’m not looking for any criticism, suggestions, etc. <3 If you enjoy reading though, please like/reblog! 

Also, I’m adding everyone in a tag that replied to my text post about wanting to read my stories... so if you’d prefer to be removed, just let me know! If you’d like to be added, also let me know! <3 

Taglist: @littlefreya​ @mary-ann84​ @wondersofdreaming​ @forthebrokenheartedthings​ @geralt-of-baevia​ @asylummara​ @dearlybelovedluke​ @promptandpros​ @mansaaay​ @daddys-littlewhitegirl​ @vacant-writings​  @kaatelyyynn​(i’m sorry if i missed anyone, i only tagged anyone who replied to my text post!!) oh & @80scavill​ i’m tagging you because you said you wanted to proofread, but i am just so nervous that im just posting! bahaha

PART 1 | PART 2

Being medically discharged from the military wasn’t something Syverson wanted to talk about, he sure as hell didn’t want to go into detail. He’d barely been able to admit to himself that his depression and anxiety had become so overwhelming that he could barely function. When his men had started noticing, some questioning his well-being and if he was stable enough to be in his position, he thought that had been the most embarrassing thing. He’d been wrong. The most embarrassing and shameful thing had been his suicide attempt, which ultimately led to his discharge.

The last thing he wanted to do was talk about it, so he didn’t. It was bad enough that he had to think about it constantly. Every time he closed his eyes Sy was brought back to that moment. Blood all over his bunk, smeared along the wall and staining his sheets. As hard as he had tried to convince his peers and superiors that it wasn’t a suicide attempt and rather just an unfortunate mistake, they wouldn’t believe him. And after a full psych evaluation, all hope of saving his career had vanished. Shipped home before he could even argue.

His first few days home had been the hardest, the only little shimmer lighting up his life at the moment being Aika. Sy had been able to bring her home with him and the loyal companion hadn’t left his side for even a second. Seemingly knowing something was wrong with him. But even with his dog giving him all the love and affection she could muster, he still barely left his bed. Tangled up in the sheets, dozing off and on out of sleep except for the very few times that he forced himself up to use the bathroom. Sy hadn’t eaten in what he thought to be at least four days, except for nibbling on a saltine cracker here and there between forcing down some orange juice or shots of whiskey.

Syverson wasn’t proud of the way he was keeping himself, but he didn’t know what to do. He’d been working and serving his country since he graduated high school. Being home with nothing but free time on his hands and a heavy rain cloud hanging over his shoulders, the days were beginning to all blur together. He’d been particularly dreading this morning, however, because he knew the VA was sending over some help, someone to help make sure that he was getting along okay, to make sure he didn’t need anything.

Aika put her paws up on the bed and leaned her head in, grabbing the blanket with her teeth and ripping it off Syverson, pulling it all the way down into the floor. “Okay, okay, I get it, I’m getting up,” Sy groaned, running his hands down his face before pulling himself up, swinging his legs off the side of the bed. A shower sounded nice, but before he could really think about whether he had the energy to or not, Syverson was already hearing a knock from downstairs. Craning his head around to look at the alarm clock by his bed, his face fell, realizing it was already well after noon. He thought he had more time...

ꕥ ꕥ ꕥ

Penelope wasn’t anything more than just a volunteer, a girl in her early twenties that liked to keep herself busy, so for the last few months on the weekends, she’d been donating her time to helping the VA. They’d send her to random retired or discharged veteran’s homes to help with their household chores, or to do their grocery shopping. Sometimes, a lot of them were just lonely and wanted someone to talk to. That was Penelope’s job, to just spend a few hours doing whatever they needed that was within her capability. This seemed to be a special case, though. It was different than all the others. Penelope hadn’t been given very much information on this person, other than their name and a very vague reason as to why they had been discharged. “Don’t ask about what happened,” she’d been warned, told to just leave it to be.

Tapping her knuckles against the door once more, Penelope peered in through the glass pane into the home, seeing that all the lights were off. Stepping back on the porch, Penelope looked out into the drive, seeing a rusted pickup truck and thinking to herself that Syverson had to be home. Just as she turned back around to knock a third time, her fist already raised in the air, she came face to face with the captain.

“Heard ya the first time,” he grunted, before turning in the door way and disappearing back down the hall. Penelope had only gotten a quick glance at him. His hair was short but was starting to grow out, his beard had looked a little unkempt and it seemed he had just rolled out of bed. Letting her hand drop back down by her waist, she froze on the porch, a little taken aback by his greeting. If she could call it that.

Stepping up into the home, Penelope closed the door behind her, just as a large german shepherd came running up to her. Aika panted, her tongue sticking out as she barked excitedly, nudging herself against Penelope’s legs as if telling her to follow the captain into the kitchen. If Aika could speak, she would have told the younger girl that it had been almost a month since the captain had spoken to anyone in person. “Hey there,” Penelope cooed, reaching down to scratch Aika behind her ears before tightening her grip on her purse and heading farther into the home.

“My names Penelope,” she called, just a second before stepping into the kitchen and seeing the man pouring himself a mug of coffee. There was a bit of sunlight coming through the kitchen window, brightening up the dim space just a touch. Most of the sun rays were washing over the man’s back as he fixed his coffee just the way he liked it. The veteran was large, his biceps reminding her of tree trunks, though he did seem to be getting a little soft around the edges. Penelope stood silent for a moment, waiting to see if she’d get anything from the man, but he remained silent, even when he turned around, bringing his mug up to his lips. Syverson didn’t even look at her, instead, snapping his fingers to get Aika to come to his side. His gaze was kept down, fixed on his dog. “I’ll be visiting every weekend, uhm, for as long as you’d like me to.”

“Didn’t want ya’ to begin with, don’t need no help.” The man still didn’t look up as he spoke, instead, his attention still focused on Aika, the dog seemingly being the only thing to bring him comfort.

Penelope was definitely caught off guard. She’d met some rude veterans during her time volunteering, and while this man’s words could’ve definitely been taken that way, Penelope could almost hear the loneliness in his voice. All she’d been told about him was that he’d been battling mental health issues, discharged because of depression, though she hadn’t been given anymore information than that. Letting her shoulders sag, she took a step further into the kitchen, moving towards the fridge as she looked around his kitchen. “I believe you, you look capable.” Penelope tried putting herself in his shoes, a strong man who had climbed through the ranks, spent his whole life serving his country, only to be forced home. To be told he wasn’t fit to serve anymore, that he needed help doing simple tasks. So she tried spinning the narrative as she opened the fridge, a frown making it’s way on to her face as she peered into the empty box. “Think of it as... I’m here to do the things you don’t want to. And it looks like someone doesn’t like grocery shopping,” she tried to tease, “I’ll make a list and-“

Syverson’s footsteps were heavy as he walked away, leaving the kitchen with his cup of coffee without one final word. Watching him disappear down the hall, Penelope heard heavy thuds on the stairs as he headed back up to his room. Letting the door on the fridge shut, Penelope muttered to herself under her breath, “okay...” It seemed like every weekend her job only became harder, she met veterans that were more and more reserved and closed off. But she had no intention of giving up just yet on Syverson.

[dorkzrul]

When I met my Date on Another Date

Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson and the Olympians. (This applies for all chapters)

~~~

Chapter 1

She had been waiting for almost an hour now. “Ma’am, are you sure you don’t want to order?”, asked the impatient waitress. “Yes i’m sure. I think i’ll wait just a little longer.”, Annabeth responded. “Suit yourself, but I really don’t think he’s coming!” How dare that waitress. She had a good mind to call the manager and report her waitress for being rude to a customer. She sighed, it was useless. And besides, she was probably right. Lately, she had seen Luke getting more and more distant and had suspected that something was up, but when she asked him he only got mad and accused her of not trusting him. That's when she definitely knew something was up because due to her past, trust had always been a rather fragile subject with her. Everyone in her family who she had trusted had left her and Luke had promised that he’d never leave her. He was the first person she’d trusted since the accident, when her mom died. The Luke she knew would never have said something like that to her. But she had never thought that it had been bad enough for him to miss their anniversary dinner! Had he forgotten?

She was just about to get up and leave when someone sat down in the seat across from her. “Sorry, i'm late. Traffic was terrible today.”, he announced loudly, gaining the attention of several people around, as well as that rude waitress. “Um, who ar-” “Just go with it”, he whispered, cutting her off, “I don't know who you’re waiting for, but whoever stood you up is a jerk”. She was about to retort that he knew absolutely nothing but kept her mouth shut. Instead, she turned to glare at him and was momentarily stunned. The man was probably around her age, with tousled, jet-black hair, beautiful sea-green eyes and tan skin. He was wearing a dark green shirt and balck trousers and looked simply heavenly. She forced herself to look away, just as he whispered, “Wanna get out of here?” She nodded, Luke definitely wasn’t coming and what was the harm in going out with a cute stranger she just met. Wait, WHAT?! What was happening to her. Firstly, she HAD a boyfriend, she couldn’t think other guys were cute! Plus, he was a complete stranger! He could be a serial killer for all she knew, she wasn’t going to go with him! “Um, sorry. I can’t”, she told him. He shrugged, “Suit yourself”, just thought you’d want to get away from all the people looking at us weird. I could drop you to your car and then you’ll be done for the night. She felt her face redden. Of course he didn’t want to go somewhere with her, he just wanted to get away. In fact, someone like him probably had a girlfriend, maybe an adorable redhead with freckles all over her face and green eyes like him. Maybe she was British and said his name in a cute little accent, she felt sick at the thought. Wait, what was she thinking? She didn’t care! She had a boyfriend of her own, one who loved her very much… though clearly not enough to remember their anniversary.

“Yeah, sure”, she quickly responded before her thoughts could get any worse. They walked outside, an awkward silence between them. “Oh um I came here by cab. I didn’t bring my car”, she quietly said, breaking the silence. “I could call a cab for you, or I could drop you off in my car if you like”, said the stranger. She had to stop calling him stranger! He had helped her out of such an awkward situation and she didn’t even know his name! “Im Annabeth, by the way. Thanks for helping me out there”, she stuck her hand out for him to shake. “Percy, and no problem”, he said, shaking her hand with a crooked grin on that face. Oh the things that smile did to her… STOP IT! She mentally chided herself. Then she realised she was still holding his hand and quickly let go, blushing. “Um, you don’t need to go to that trouble of dropping me”, she said. “Oh it's no trouble! I live on 3rd street, I could drop you along the way if you live that way” He literally just gave his address to a stranger, what was wrong with this guy, she thought. What if she had been some sort of crazy stalker? But it would be a great help if he could drop her off and she lived there too. So she found herself doing the unthinkable, giving her address to a stranger, hopping into their car and driving to her apartment where she lived. “Oh, I live along 3rd street too” “Great, i’ll drop you then”, he gave her another grin and she felt her knees weaken.

They climbed into his car, a dark blue Lamborghini Huracán. He was rich! It was approximately a twenty minute drive there. He turned onto the street and an awkward silence filled the car. “So, Annabeth, were you meeting your boyfriend at the restaurant back there today?” He was just a stranger, yet somehow she felt like she could trust him and had the urge to tell him everything. It was okay, she reasoned with herself, he was just a stranger that she would probably never see again after today and thus it didn't matter if she said anything or not. “Yes, yes i was supposed to see my boyfriend. It’s our one year anniversary.” “Oh”, he raised an eyebrow, “He missed your anniversary?” “I’m sure there’s a valid reason!” she said defensively. “Never said there wasn’t. But he shouldn’t have stood you up like that. If he couldn’t make it he should have told you.” She sighed “You’re right” He looked surprised. “Damn right I am!” They laughed loudly. That was just what she had needed after such a night! “This may come out wrong but I’m honestly kinda glad he stood you up” “What?!?!” “If he hadn’t, I would never have met you. You seem like a cool person” “Oh...thanks”, she mumbled, blushing. “Hey, wanna go out for coffee sometime?” He asked, it seemed like he was nervous. “Not like a date, just as friends.”, he quickly added. She giggled (What was wrong with her? She never giggled!), he looked cute all flustered like that. “Sure. I would love to!” He grinned, “Great! Here’s my number.” He dictated it as she put it into her phone and saved it as Percy (Restaurant Guy). “Text me”, he said, still grinning hugely. She nodded, blushing.

He dropped her off at her building with a quick wave and she noticed that he lived just two buildings down. She entered her flat, thinking of all that had just happened. Luke had stood her up, a stranger had come to save her, she’d gotten into his car and had him drop her (hence giving away her address), she’d told him all about her and Luke and she’d saved his number in his phone and had promised to text him (and she was going to make good on the promise). Yep, something had definitely come over her. As soon as she had taken off her shoes, she plopped onto the couch and called Luke. But her call went straight to voicemail. She decided that they should talk in person about this and simply left a message asking him to come over whenever he could. Then, she texted Percy.

Annabeth Chase: Hey, this is Annabeth!

He responded within a couple of minutes.

Percy Jackson: Hey :)

Annabeth Chase: So...

Percy Jackson: So… tomorrow?

Annabeth Chase: Tomorrow? What?

Percy Jackson: R coffee d8, Chase! Forgotten already? :p

Annabeth Chase: Of course not! I just didn’t think it would be this soon!

Percy Jackson: Is tom not good 4 u?

Annabeth Chase: I am free tomorrow, but…

Percy Jackson: If ur free then lets do it! If not then mayb some other time…

She was glad he wasn’t pushing to come tomorrow or to tell him why she couldn’t make it. Luke would have done that… He always got upset if she couldn’t make it and always wanted to know where she was. She didn’t mind too much because there shouldn’t be any secrets between them, but the way he said it made it seem like he didn’t trust her.

Annabeth Chase: How about the day after? I’m with Luke tomorrow.

Percy Jackson: Sure! Grt so uk that lil cafe called “Cafe Coffee”? Lets meet there tomorrow at 4? K?

Annabeth Chase: Sure!

Percy Jackson: Its a date!

She stared at her phone, wondering if she should correct him. On one hand, she was pretty sure by “date” he only meant one between friends (gosh, she barely knew him for an hour and they were friends now?!), but if she didn’t correct him it might seem, just a tiny bit, like it was a date. What if Luke saw the text? But on the other, she couldn’t ignore the slight thrill that went down her spine when she read those three words. “Its a date!”

NO! What was she thinking?! She was a taken woman! She loved Luke and would never cheat on him! They loved each other very much and would never cheat on each other! Right? She couldn’t deny the fact that it had crossed her mind recently that Luke was cheating. She had instantly dismissed the idea but now that she actually thought about it, all the signs were there. He wasn’t responding to her calls or texts, he had gotten furious when he saw her scrolling through his phone (she had only been looking for a picture she’d taken on his phone, why had he gotten so mad? Did he have something to hide?) and he stood her up on their Anniversary (without a phone call or a text message to say that he was busy or to wish her. Had he forgotten? Or did he just not care?). Was he cheating on her? He probably wasn't; she was just being paranoid now. She put her phone down and lay down on the bed, eventually falling asleep with these thoughts pushed to the back of her head.

~~~

Hi! I’m Dorkzrul n I hope u enjoyed this fic (My first chapter fic)!!! I’d love to hear any feedback and/or constructive criticism and thank you so much for taking the time to read this!!! The next chapter will probably be out in a week. I don’t have a tag list cus I don’t think that many people will even read this but even if one person wants to be tagged, just let me know 😊

Also available on Wattpad and FanFiction.Net.

<3<3<3

Tagging: @rhian-not-ryan

[gatheringbones]

may I ask a writing question...i experience fairly extreme highs and lows; one day im in love w what im doing, the next the spark is gone, doubt creeps in, I bore myself, etc. do u have any ways of preventing a crash, or limiting its duration? i always keep writing thru them, even if i switch projects, because i know as far as “determination vs inspiration” goes, one is more reliable than the other. (1)

maybe u don’t experience this, or maybe this is just inevitable, but when im in love w what im doing, i feel like i have to drop everything else because i know what might follow the high. i wonder if u have ideas on attaining a more steady writing vibe. would love to hear your thoughts if you feel like sharing! you contain many wisdoms🖤 (2)

I think that the attitude of continuous sustained growth is unrealistic, frankly, I think that there’s always going to be cycles of growth and decay and rain and drought and that “decay and drought” are necessary periods built straight into the writing process that are beneficial to both you and your work. 

drought means digging reservoirs and building aquifers and studying the water table; decay means compost and compost needs to be aired and turned. entering into a state of the process when you feel like your drive forward has petered out means that you’ve entered a critical period of reflection and improvement; it means kindly and constructively sitting with the work you’ve already done and finding jumping-off points or missed connections inside of it that fill you with excitement.

it also means that, like composting, sometimes you need to fix the ph balance of the soil by bringing something new into it; by focusing on your research and improving your store of language. It’s why we’re so lucky to be in a period of time where everyone under the sun is sharing as much art and philosophy and radical ideas as they possibly can (especially when we’re all doing that to comfort and inspire each other as we work creatively to fix an incredibly broken world). If you feel like your imagination’s run out, raise the ceiling of it; add more chicken manure, more eggshells, more coffee grounds, grow and develop your imagination with as many different sources as you can and let it all cook down into the growth medium you’ll need to feed your writing. I don’t know how the hell I thought I was going to write about liberatory queer identities and challenging power structures without consuming as much real-world language about what those identities and challenges look like— actually, I do know, it felt and read as stunted, because it was stunted. I needed to combine my writing with activities that fed my writing and fed my writer’s brain at the same time, to pack it full of all the connections and systemic language I would need in order to construct a sequence of events and motifs that would result in the story I wanted to tell. 

taking a break, reading/reflecting, responding to your reading/reflection, and building that response into your work is a necessary cycle of growth and decay; it’s useful. There’s absolutely nothing intrinsically wrong about undergoing a “crash”. 

[weeb-writings]

alisa teaching lev incorrect russian phrases

a certain groupchat im in with so many beautiful people has brought this idea to my attention. most definitely something i canon abt the two siblings now, i totally see it. 

special thanks to: @sarido275​ for this idea!! i love this so much and i hope this meets your expectations- 

warnings: swearing, a fight btwn siblings, also this is relatively long for a hc so brace yourself

genre: crack, fluff, angst? if you squint-

synopsis: lev’s (gorgeoues, beautiful, pretty, amazing, cute) sister, alisa, teaches lev russian phrases... except its all backwards...  

i used a couple websites: a b 

a/n: im writing a longer oneshot (haechan x reader) so this is something ive been working on, on the side. i hope you like whatever the frick frack this is-  

if you have any requests, shoot them in my dms or ask box! if you have any constructive criticism, let me know what i can fix and how! thank you uwu

*breathes* okay, this is straight up crack, like 

i literally see this happening btwn the two siblings, where lev’s sister alisa ends up teaching lev russian phrases with the incorrect translations 

she’s such a sweetie pie i dont see her intentionally teaching lev the incorrect translations for stuff- so yes,

with the power of google and tumblr i present to you: lev walking around like an idiot :) (i love him v much tho and hes baby all the way) 

okay lets start with the “basics” 

first off is хуй (pronounced: hooy), and it means dick 

omg i what am i writing 

okay so like, yaku probably does something nice for alisa (meaning he puts lev in check bc lev is stoopid)

and alisa decides to thank him like “you have such a big hooy yaku~~” 

and everyone on nekomas vbc team looks at the two siblings like ????? what did she just say 

and lev looks at her and she goes “hooy means heart!!” 

omfg not only lev, but all of nekoma is using this word now and its so bad bc they all say it so confidently whose gonna tell them- 

and like, whenever someone does anything remotely nice lev will tell them that they “have such a big hooy” and that they are so kind and that he appreciates them 

which ultimately, this term rubs off on karasuno and fukorodani (specifically hinata and bokuto) 

quite literally a term that spreads like wildfire and they all use it so mindlessly eye- 

okay, next term: Трахни тебя (pronounced: poshyol ty), and it means: fuck you (omg i hate writing swears bc lev is involved and he is BABY I CANNOT-) 

okay but alisa and lev are most likely parting ways early in the morning, and he is going to a summer week camp for vb practice (w the boys ayyy) omg i hate myself so much 

but like, she probably wants to say something along the lines of “i love you” but she ends up saying fuck you (dw, i checked and its the aggresive kind, no not the kinky aggresive just straight up like a screw you) pls i hate that im making this more awkward by the second 

okay but like, hes probably leaving in the morning and shes like “poshyol ty” and he kind turns back, confused look on his face 

and hes like “whats that mean????” and shes like, with a bright smile, “it means I LOVE YOU” and he repeats it a few times

and this poor bby uses this ALL the mcfreaking time now

yaku is abt to kick him? “pls stop poshyol ty” 

kuroo wants to give him shit for sucking at blocking? “im sorry but dont forget poshyol ty” 

omg KENMA WHEN HES MAD “kenma im so sorry youre the best pls poshyol ty” 

so it probably circulates around the team, and by now all of the nekoma vbc are using this on one another ALL the time

again, its something picked up by other teams 

i.e: bokuto to akaashi, hinata to kags, and it even reaches oikawa, who uses it on iwa, satori to ushijima (bye these r ships) 

but finally, poor alisa thought that by saying Отыебис от меныа (pronounced: otyebis ot menya) she was saying “your presence is nice” but in reality she was saying “get the fuck away from me” 

omg pls this is so terrible someone tell her-

but like anyways, when she says it so him, its when hes upset bc the whole team is upset at him bc he almost made the team lose

aka putting them at risk for his shitty blocking skills

and hes like “no one likes me, no one wants to be around me” 

and alisa is like: “hey, otyebis ot menya, and if its from me, they even appreciate you too :)”

and he asks her to explain the meaning to him and shes like “it means i appreciate your presence” 

and so he cheers up, and goes to practice the next day

and he apologises to everyone and then goes, “as much as i suck otyebis ot menya” 

like ????? and everyone appreciates it!! like >.< omg i hate this 

but in general, another phrase that spreads like wildfire!! 

at this point, everyone thinks hes a sweetheart (and dumbass) whos using loving terms with his team and friends!!

now, onto the “swear words” 

which, in reality, are words/phrases with positive meanings :( 

ah i really hope someone tells everyone wassup w these terms

but, lets start w this beautiful term: Я верю в тебя (pronounced: ya veryu v tebya)

this means: i believe in you (and reader, i believe in you, you can do anything you put your mind as long as it doesnt harm you or anyone)

but anyways, this is probably a term that slips out during a fight btwn the two siblings

is it weird that i cant imagine them fighting often, or at all- 

okay anyways, back to the hc

theyre probably fighting about how lev left his dirty laundry in the br after the shower, or how he left his dishes on the dining table and how he isnt necessarily cleaning up after himself

and shes tired of it, so she starts yelling at him

and shes like “oh my god! youre so useless! veryu v tebya” 

and he kinda stops saying anything back and stares at her c o n f u s e d

and shes like ?? whatre you looking so lost for

and hes like, what does that mean

and shes like, it means that you arent capable of anything. 

so this poor boy thinks that the term “i believe in you” now means “you arent capable of anything” 

when kenma, kuroo, and yaku treat him a little meaner on a bad day, he’ll be sure to mumble it under his breathe

when he blocks hinata’s spike, hes sure to yell it out proudly, and everyone kinda is like ???? 

and so he explains what it means, and 

hinata isnt phased by the fact that lev just called him incapable bc poor bby got to learn another russian phrase 

and then kenma puts two and two together and realizes what levs been calling him

*insert a mad kenma* 

*insert a mad kuroo*

*insert a mad yaku* 

okay but srsly the whole nekoma vbc starts using this term to clown lev when he messes up!!

in reality, everyones the clown bc theyre using the wrong term altogether

another term lev would learn from alisa, would be Мой милый ангел (pronounced: moy miliy angel) 

and what alisa thinks it means is : you are not an angel/youre a fallen angel/youre the devil 

bc like some languages dont have a term for something, so they use another term and then the word not in front of it, so alisa assumes thats what it is 

so she just assumes this word is something to call someone a devil or basically imply theyre a bad person 

this term slips out from alisa, when someone says a comment about lev during a game, 

ooooo lets say the nekoma vs. nohebi game to make it to nationals 

and someone says something along the lines of lev being a terrible blocker

from across the court

and out of nowhere 

alisa is like “hes better than you! moy miliy angel” 

poor bby thought she was defending her brother

okay she was but still- 

you know what i mean 

but anyways, everyone looks at her 

and she just shrugs it off bc she doesnt owe anyone an explanation

but after the game, yaku’s younger sister brings it up in front of them

and she explains to everyone that it means a devil 

and theyre all like ?? 

alisa saying something mean- this is new

but in her defense it was bc she was standing up for her brother

as she should- 

but on a real note, lev adopts this term to roast people during plays and makes them confused hehehe their faces r funny bc they get so lost and bam nekoma scores

a term that kageyama adopts

he expands his vocab when hes mad at hinata from boke, to boke and moy miliy angel 

tanaka probably uses this term on people who piss him off

imagine him saying it w his buddha face LMAO

but lastly, a term that lev would learn from alisa is Радость моя

this term is pronounced as radost moya

it means “my joy” 

so, when alisa is stressing over something (maybe hw, maybe over the fact that lev keeps making a fool of himself in front of yakus sister) 

she’s like muttering under her breath, 

“this is gonna be the death of me, ugh why is this radost moya“ 

like LMAO she thinks this term means terrible, or my bad luck

no sweetie its the opposite

its just so funny, lev hears her and she explains the term

so he begins to use it all the time

and i mean ALL THE TIME

when he cant block? radost moya. when someone reminds him that he isnt the ace? radost moya. 

so, when bokuto is in emo mode, lev is like radost moya, its just bl (ha if your mind went to boy-) bad luck

and bokuto is immediately out of his emo mode bc he is LEARNING a new term from his fave russian teacher uwu

but again, a term that spreads like wild fire

this is what kags calls hinata, iwa to oikawa, and semi to shirabu

overall, alisa teaching lev incorrect russian phrases, is lev teaching the whole of anyone who plays volleyball ever incorrect russian phrases

these humans look like straight up clowns 

i CaNnOt emphasize how dumb they look- 

basically just becomes a crack fest

bonus (kinda-): 

lev, kenma, kuroo, tsuki, kags, akaashi, bokuto, yams, and yaku all went to the fish market one day

they all witness kuroo, bokuto, lev and hinata do something stupid with their shared one brain cell

so, naturally, the others flame them in russian

and someone nearby is like 

“aww its so sweet you believe them,, your friendship is so cute“

queue the whole crew (ugh i hate that term but its better than squad) turning to look towards lev 

and BAM they all start asking this random person for translations on stuff

they all look so shocked and mad and sad

*insert a mad kenma*

*insert tsuki mocking everyone*

just funNy stuff hahahaha

okay imma head out bc wtf did i just write-

[new-endings]

Do you have any advice for a first time writer? I’ve never made a fic before but I plan on writing one when I have the time. I know you’re a great writer so I thought I’d ask! Thanks and have a good day :)

Hi and of course, I’d be happy to help! Also /)///(\  (❁´◡`❁) I’m so very honored that you like my writing 💕 

I don’t think there’s really a wrong way to write (grammar and spelling aside), but here are some of my beliefs and my own advice! 

I think when it comes down to writing, especially for fanfiction, it’s important to remember that it’s a labor of love and you should write what you love and enjoy! If you’re not having fun while doing it and aren’t writing what you want, then why do it? 

You took the time and energy to create something that’s uniquely yours. It doesn’t matter if it’s any other AU that is considered “popular” among your fandom, this take is uniquely your own. And take pride in your work!

that’s not to say steal from other writers that’s plagiarism and i trust you know already not to do that but because this is the internet, i feel like this caveat has to be made

Also, I do encourage you to tag properly. In many fandoms, there are just too many fics to go through and tagging really helps the reader in finding your work! It also prevents people who may not be into the type of work you’re making from reading it and causing issues down the line.   

So have fun, and again I’m so glad to hear that you want to write! There’s never too many ideas, never too many stories c: Once it’s done, please link me! I’d be more than happy to read~

this is rly long im sry but here’s more

aight here’s some things that I do that personally helps me when I’m writing:

0. FEEL FREE TO DISREGARD ANY OF THE BELOW. Honestly, the way I write may not jive with you and that’s totally fine. This is just what I do. You’ll find your own rhythm or discover it along the way, but these are just some suggestions. 

1. Free write. 

-It sounds like you’re busy and might not have time throughout the day to just sit down and write for hours on end and if this is the case, sometimes just putting something down on paper/typing it up is small progress that gradually builds. It’s okay if it looks disjointed or a bit wonky at first-- you can smooth things over later. 

2. conversely, Write your rough drafts as a story skeleton. I’m a particular sorta creature, so if you have the time, I can recommend

It kinda looks like a play. Example: dead dove do not eat btw 

-C locks the door- 

C  "What are you going to tell the police, angel? That a billionaire is obsessively in love with you, a Soho bookseller, “ -A flinches as C approaches closer- “And kidnapped you all the way to his country villa and forged a completely new life for you?" 

-commotion outside from the storm-

A, pouting as he’s backing up against the wall "...well, you don't have to put it that way."

it can read fine just the way I wrote it lol but the point is-- having the scene already laid out in front of you helps with building the rest of the story and makes filling in details a lot smoother.

I also recommend using this method if you’d like your dialogue to run smoother.

3. Read things out loud. 

-It really helps. especially with dialogue. Think “is this something C/A/an actual human being would say in this manner?” it also helps with sentence structures. If you can read your paragraphs out loud without getting lost or winded, then the reader can too. 

4. Don’t make chunky paragraphs. 

-I need to take this advice lol Our eyes get tired as we read big blocks of letters strung together. Make them digestible. If you’re enjoying the spacing and it looks good to your eyes, chances are, they’re good for the reader too. 

5. Don’t apologize for being a first-time fic writer or antagonize your own writing especially in the summary.

-I see this a lot where the writer says “sorry if summary sucks” or “Sorry, first time writing!” and I think it sends a bad message to the reader. It tells the reader that you’re not confident in your writing skills. If you’re not confident, then the reader isn’t confident in your abilities. 

6. Don’t be afraid to share it! 

-Tumblr, ao3, Wattpad, you name it. Be proud of your work! I can honestly say that I love my own writing and that’s the primary drive to why I write in the first place-- I have an idea that no one else is gonna write for me (because I can’t afford commissions no siree), so if what I got is what I got, then I’m gonna make it good for myself. 

And I’m my own worst critic. If I like it, then I think it’s def gonna be good enough to share with other people so we can enjoy the same thing! 

7. It’s not worth getting upset over feedback.

-Whether it’s getting criticism or if there aren’t a lot of notes, comments, or kudos, it’s okay. Every writer has been there. 

-For negative feedback, remember that unless this person is harassing you or just putting down the fic without anything constructive at all, delete it and move on with your day. If they had no ill intent behind it, it may be worth considering their comment, but in the end, the choice is yours. 

-If there’s not enough feedback, then remind yourself of the reason why you made this fic: was it to gain traction as a writer? To polish your writing skills that you will eventually use to make your own original works or make more fics? If so, then go back to step 6. Promote it, share it, tell your friends and followers about it and there’s absolutely no shame in that. 

-And if you wrote primarily for the fun of it, because this was an idea in your head that you wanted to see, then that’s okay. You made a work you’re proud of and if you’re happy with that work, then don’t let this be a numbers game that will make you sad or upset. Your work is good enough when you’re happy with it; you only need to please yourself for it to have been a success.

Hope this helps~  

[bat-lings]

I love everyone in the batfam no matter how problematic, but the Rhato 25 discourse bothered me. As a Bruce fan I didn't like the complete crucifixion of his character by the Jason diehards. Personally I feel Bruce was justified (the brutality felt like a publicity stunt for shock value, which I didn't like), but seeing these same fans (that hate Bruce for daring to hurt their fav) then celebrate when Jason did the exact same thing to Damian in the teen titans annual. It's so hypocritical.

Oh, Anon, I fear you inadvertently put the finger on the exact thing I despise about current storylines. I agree in that they’re taking the shock value too far and that every character suffers for it.

Frankly, I have more of a problem with what the fans are served than with how they reacted to it.

Fair warning, I’m gonna get very critical with the writing of the two events Anon mentioned. I’d be extra interested to hear about those events from the perspective of someone who actually enjoyed them, but it’s not worth your good mood if reading a post basically trashing said storylines upsets you.

I’ll respectfully disagree about Bruce’s behavior towards Jason. It was excessively brutal and nothing justified it. The scene can be summed up to shock value, to the point it would need to be entirely rewritten to exonerate Bruce. Jason relapsed into lethal force for understandable reasons. Even if we consider nothing excuses Jason; even in an alternative scenario where he’d have shot the Penguin out of the blue, Bruce’s behavior would be plain wrong.

Bruce went after him, assaulted him, and kept on beating him while Jason wasn’t defending himself.

Let’s forget this was Jason for a second. This is not the kind of violence Bruce should resort to against any criminal. I don’t just mean that hey, this isn’t ideal morally speaking, I mean that Bruce Wayne, as a character, as the man who was always written to believe in redemption/rehabilitation, as the man who willed never to use lethal or even unnecessary force, can’t do this and pretend to be remotely what Bruce’s character is supposed to represent. I hate it every time Bruce is written to use that kind of empty violence, preboot or reboot. Miller went down that road too and it never fulfilled my idea of entertainment.

Then you add on the fact that Jason’s his son, and it makes it all so much worse. Bruce legit puts the blame on Jason, not only during the confrontation (“I told you if you left me it’d be your choice”), but also in a later issue when Lobdell serves us a disastrous attempt at a reconciliation scene. “I love you but you deserved a kick in the ass.” Like, I don’t think Lobdell could’ve portrayed a more abusive father-figure if he wanted to.

As a comparison, have similar confrontations between Bruce and Dick in preboot.

[Batman (1940) #600]

So here there’s an actual fight. Dick is actively participating rather than being used as Bruce’s punching-ball. Power-wise, they’re equals.

You want a true equivalent to the scene between Jason and Bruce, where Dick suffers from a power-imbalance + Bruce being toxic?

[New Titans (1988) #55]

Note how it doesn’t go further than a punch because it’s bad enough that way and doesn’t need to escalate further to drive the narrative home. There’s no “I love you but you deserved a punch” bullshit later on either.

Even in Teen Titans: Year One where Bruce was particularly terrible (too much imo), he’s brainwashed when he hits Dick and nothing in the story/framing exonerates Bruce for his global behavior.

Those confrontations had a place in their narratives other than shock value. Bruce’s descent after Jason’s death, his mental state in Murderer/Fugitive. They illustrate how fucked up Bruce is at a specific moment due to specific events and context. They’re not casually dismissed afterwards by a hug and a dubious line. And again, they don’t require Bruce to beat Dick half to death to drive their point home.

By the way, this is reconciliation.

[Batman (1940) #605]

This is a component of the circle of abuse.

[Red Hood and the Outlaws (2016) #27]

“I love you. If only you weren’t so stubborn, you wouldn’t deserve an occasional kick in the ass. Like when I inflicted you severe physical trauma. But I love you anyway. Aaah, the woes of father-son relationships!”

There was no narrative reason for Bruce to take it that far with Jason in rhato. It’s just physically more violent and emotionally less impactful, because it’s so damn cheap and because it tries to pass abuse for a normal familial dissension that can be cured with a hug. I can’t get emotionally engaged with that kind of writing.

It’s a reboot, it’s entitled to change characters, but it’s simply not a Bruce I recognize nor one whose existence I’m particularly eager to acknowledge.

As for the Jason-Damian confrontation…

I don’t care that Jason didn’t want to fight and tried so hard to de-escalate the situation until Damian pulled out that mystery drama-box. I don’t care that Damian’s a trained fighter. Frankly, I don’t care about the specifics. At the end of the day, an adult beat the shit out of a child. A child who was framed in earlier appearances to be his little brother. A writer/editorial team/whoever the hell made the conscious choice to put those characters in the specific situation where an adult would beat the shit of a child family member.

You know, for all that I hate TT#29 for its cheap violence (and Jason’s less than ideal portrayal), it at least had the decency to oppose two characters of roughly the same age. And in this continuity, Jason was revived to be a villain. I may not like it but it’s expected that he acts villainous towards the fam, or Tim here. Plus Tim and Jason were never ever portrayed as brothers in post-crisis. They’re strangers. Them beating each other simply doesn’t have the same significance.

Have another preboot parallel where neither perpetrators are villains.

[Red Robin #14]

Here the writer puts Tim in a situation where he has to defend himself against a ten-year-old. There’s a punch, and then the violence stops. That’s it. Much like the preboot Dick-Bruce confrontations, it doesn’t need to be taken further. The story delivers its point without any ten-year-old getting beaten senseless by an older ally.

Seriously, how does this…

[Batman (2016) #16]

…exist in the same continuity as this?

[Teen Titans Annual 1 (2019)]

How is this a good way to portray familial dissensions/confrontations of any kind?

You’re the writer. You decide if the 20 something is gonna throw hands with the 13 year old. You decide how the father figure reacts to the son’s actions. You decide how far each confrontation goes. You decide whether two characters that were explicitly portrayed as brothers are gonna bleed each other out. You decide whether the father figure is abusive. You decide what happens, how it happens, how it’s resolved, and how every element is framed.

Physical violence is just another narrative tool that should be used to construct a story. You can’t just throw it in, dial it up to 11, and hope it’ll make your scene impactful. It just proves you don’t know how to write a vivid scene without relying on cheap tricks.

Anon, I get your frustration, I don’t like what’s done of Bruce either. I made a post about his parental failures in preboot ( bat-lings.tumblr .com/post/180901354160/do-you-think-bruce-was-a-bad-father-im-starting); none of them ever reached rhato’s caricatural empty brutality. Bruce is less and less well received by fans as he’s sometimes instrumentalized in sequences that don’t fit his character. It’s not fair on him.

But I can’t seem to disconnect with what we are given long enough to worry about how we react to it. And to be fair I’ve seen as many posts hating on Jason’s recent actions than hating on Bruce’s.

Tbh bad writing/ooc-ness aside there’s little anyone can say to exonerate either character here. The fans are reacting vividly because they’re faced with a story that has little else to sell other than vivid brutality. We all go “gasp!”, pick sides, and that’s it. It’s hard to breed interesting discussion among fans with that configuration.

The good news is, each of those characters have seen better days, and not everything in reboot is as bad as the above sequences. Also we have fanfictions :D

[rosedaewaters]

Marry You - Gwilym Lee x Reader

Synopsis: Love of his life - just ask him one question!

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: Just an insecure gwil aghh   ----   can be read as gender-neutral!reader i think!

A/N: heY THERE it’s cel! sorry for being absent! we’ve been busy tbh and just hadn’t been in the mood to write - val is writing something currently and im figuring out what else to do? so if you have suggestions, plEASE send them through our ask! i hope you enjoy! i also enjoy constructive criticism - please tell me ways i can improve!

I was nervous, to say the least. Gwil and I had discussed it before, the thought of him proposing. He said he wouldn’t mind if I proposed either - it just shows that I’d want to stay with him for the rest of my life, visa versa. I’d planned to propose soon - I’d even got him a simple silver band to wear wherever he liked.

But, Gwil had been acting strange lately, sort of distancing himself from me, not wanting to cuddle me while we’re trying to sleep - even though he knows I need to cuddle something while I try to sleep, otherwise it’s a shocking sleep for me. It’s strange, he’s always been a cuddly person - latching into me whenever possible.

I’m quite concerned, he hasn’t done this since we began dating. He’d hide himself from me, to try to not get attached to me, so I didn’t know his darkest secrets. He didn’t do very well at doing that, since one night when I stayed at his, he told me almost everything about him because, and I quote ‘You looked way too cute in your pyjamas and I couldn’t stop myself from talking, it was like you slipped me a truth serum.’

He’s bad at keeping things to himself.

But he’d gotten better at hiding things from me since he wasn’t expressing himself with me lately.

Nonetheless, he’s going to spill what’s wrong inside his pretty little head of his, one way or another.

-

I’d found him sitting on the couch in the lounge-room, head in his hands, leaning on the arm of the couch.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” I ask, sliding next to him, placing a loving hand on his shoulder. He looks up at me, pain in his eyes, dread and the love once deep in them seemed to be lost. “Love, you can talk to me, you remember that, right?”

“You love me, right?”

“Of course. Why would you think otherwise?” I look at him with a frown, listening intently to his answer.

“I don’t know, I just think you could do way better than me. I’m insecure about my abilities to be a good boyfriend, for some reason, I see so many different depictions of boyfriends on the telly or in real life, and I don’t compare. I’m barely home, I don’t do much around the house because I’m sleeping, I don’t-” I cut him off by placing my lips on his, grabbing his face in my hands, putting as much love and soul I can put into a kiss. I pull away, him chasing my lips in the progress, he opens his eyes with a small pout and a whine.

“I love you so much. I would never be able to do better than you, because no one can deal with my fucked-up-ness. You’re kind, sweet, lovely to me. You love me in many ways, in ways that I can’t love myself. You love all of me. I love all of you. You’re barely home because you’re working, doing something you love - acting, need I remind you?” I begin to play with the hair atop his head, the brown wavy hair that I also love so much.

“You played Brian May in one of the biggest movies of last year, you did an amazing Australian romantic comedy, one that premiered at Sundance and all around Australia, which I loved, by the way, sweetheart, I loved seeing your fluffy hair and scruffy beard. You’ve been doing so much more projects lately, I can’t count them all!” I pause to see the sad smile on his face. I place my hand on his cheek, bringing him to look at me. “You should never doubt your abilities to be a good boyfriend. You try your hardest, and that’s all I could ask for, from you, my Love.”

I see the glint of happiness in his eyes - one that I’ve needed lately. This might be the only candid time I will be able to do this. I won’t need to set up anything extravagant or plan anything - just me, him, and one question.

“Hold on, babe.” I press a chaste kiss to his lips and run to our room. He lets out a small whine as I hear him thump back into the couch.

I run into our shared bedroom, rummaging around my underwear drawer, trying to find the small black box. I find it with an almost silent ‘ah-hah’, opening to check the ring was still in there.

A simple gold band, nothing fancy, just something to signify my love for this man in my home. Our home.

I didn’t hear Gwilym come to our room, I didn’t hear the footsteps I normally would hear, but with my heart almost pounding out of my chest, I couldn’t even hear my own thoughts.

I smile at the ring, closing the box and then my drawer. I spin around on the tips of my toes and see Gwil standing there with a goofy smile. I gasp and hide the box behind my back, but knowing him, he’d understand what it is in a heartbeat.

“What you got there, Love?” He begins to walk towards me, I begin to walk backward until I hit the drawers.

“Uh-” I push out a nervous laugh. I didn’t bother getting down on one knee, didn’t want to seem shorter than I already am. Gwil was always towering over me, no matter what shoes I wear, this was just another one of those situations.

I stand on my tippy toes, wrapping one arm around his neck, pulling him down to press another kiss to his lips. I slide my hand down his neck and onto his jaw, pulling away slightly, to utter those few words. The few words that might change my life forever.

“Gwilym Lee, will you marry me?” I pull away and open the box once again, but this time it’s facing him. He lets out a chuckle, grabbing the box from my hands.

“Isn’t this my job?” he gestures to the box, lifting the ring out. “To ask this life-changing question? To ask you to spend the rest of your life with me?”

“You told me once that you were okay with either asking. It’s someone asking you to marry them because they love you. I love you enough to ask you to marry me, because I’m confident you love me enough to want to marry me, too.” I give him a confident smile, but that smile turned into a nervous one as soon as I heard how cocky it sounded.

“Well, at least I hope you love me enough to want to marry me, because I love you enough to want to marry you, so I just want this to be a mutual agreem-” I’m cut off by Gwil’s lips on mine again, I let out a giggle as I pushed myself more into him.

He pulls away, throwing the box onto the drawers, his ring still between his thumb and index. He hands it to me as he mutters one word.

“Yes.”

“Yes? Yes - meaning you love me? Or yes - meaning you’ll marry me?” I ask, hope extremely evident in my voice. He nods, laughing.

“Yes to both, you idiot.” I push the golden band onto his ring finger, letting out a small squeal as I jump into his grasp. He holds me to his body, his hands on my thighs and my arms around his neck.

“Oh my god, we’re engaged, we’re getting married,” I speak in disbelief. We lock eyes with each other.

“You’re my fianceé,” Gwil muttered onto my lips. “And I’m yours.” He presses multiple kisses to my lips, walking us over to the bed. He lets me go and I land - almost - gracefully, I forgot to let my arms go, so he got pulled down too, on the messy bed from the night before. “Wait here.”

He runs out of the bedroom, leaving me flustered and in the mood for anything tonight. I lean on the backs of my arms, pushing myself up so I can still see him walk through the door. He walks back in, a little black box, in his hand. I let out a loud cackle, falling back onto the bed.

“There is no way you were planning on proposing too.” I push my hands onto my face, shaking my head vigorously. He crawls over the top of me, with the ring in his hand and a smile on his face.

“I’ll marry you, only if you’ll marry me too.” Love shines through his eyes like the sun on a 35℃ degree day, who was I to say no to this man? I nod with tears in my eyes, he pushes the ring onto my finger.

“Oh my god, I love you so much.” I push my lips onto his for the umpteenth time tonight. His kiss moves to my cheek, down my jaw to the spot behind my ear. I grab at his neck, again and again, pulling him down more.

“I love you so much as well. Always have.”

[gg-astrology]

Have you done the Cancer sun—Taurus moon combo? I couldn’t find it, sorry for bothering :/

Hey there! 💕 Nah don��t worry! 💕 It’s because I haven’t done it yet that’s why! 💕

[Below Cut: Cancer Sun - Taurus Moon 🧚‍♂️]

embodies?? so much serenity?? 

Reading in ur bed/comfy spaces....music from ur window... 

V chill vibe?? So comfy???

Wise eyes and like....a lil awkward but endearingly so? Honest and wants to get to know u, understanding and wouldn’t fault u for stuttering/mucking up,,, if its an honest mistake from emotions, they take the time to take deep breath-- and understand u

there’s just something very calming about this placement, because their moodiness is reduced by Taurus to a kinda earthy, sensual manner

Sensual person, touches, tactile things-- comfort and security

Likes to stay home probably, bundled up in a blankie. Cuddling something/someone. Likes their own space/groups of friends-- habit and comfort, traditions and pleasure-seeking together (like a big dinner w/ friends or a potluck)

An Eater and probably a Person Who Wants to Bake/Cook for Others

Enjoys the sensation of food, the look, the concept, the whole experience

Wants to share their joys/happiness with food ...so they make it into a ‘tradition’ to so with friends/people they love/care about

Habit and tradition y know? A lil down time, a me-time, getting back on track with themselves is important to have a ‘routine’ for

Not picky, but also picky? Has Strong Thoughts and Opinions on what they want to eat, when and where (specific location-- not just ANY ramen but THIS ramen bc of the EXPERIENCE)

Mayhaps Hangry is a Valid Emotion after all

Would probably smoother you if you’re good friends, there’s just something so inherently nurturing about this placement

Wants to care, look after and skinship (through telepathy -- jus their eyes, want to smother u w/ their eyes/let them intensions through without so many words)

Impactful words --Hits hard with little phases-- quality over quantity after all

Even to inanimate objects.. there’s Love and Affection given to them too (books, dolls, whatever it is they cling onto/cherish) 

Can be kinda possessive over things/people...like u want this? it comes with a price (belonging to them) and letting them take care of u/it 

All jokes aside, Cancer/Taurus are such a sensual person-- they’s incredibly shrewd and intuitive to others, able to connect and sympathize-- understand them with a wisdom that’s very them (Taurus is kinda an old soul and Cancer are also very perceptive of others)

The kind of person who doesn’t say much, but will Know if you’re sad and will offer you their solidarity presence ( ‘im here for you’) and affection (physically) if you benefit from it.

‘one hug can have a thousand words behind it’ -- supportive and encouraging, cares for u deeply

If someone hurts the people they love, or did them dirty/wrong-- Cancer/Taurus are one of the first to take it personally and get super furious about it (personal offense) 

And no this anger doesn’t die down, even when they’ve calmed. They still hold grudges/sus of the others -- this person is marked for life (they keep tallies) 

They’re introspective in a way-- but Taurus doesn’t like to think about their own downfalls/bad habits unless they can do something about it 

Keeps to the material world, but as a very sensitive and sensual person-- these people take on impressions of the world around them and use that to fuel their creative/imaginative process

The kind of person who’s one feet is firmly planted in reality, while the other allows themselves to be creative/expansive and world builds around them

Underneath all that softness and nurturing, that stability. Cancer/Taurus can have a rather fiery and stubborn core. They don’t like to get mad, but if they must then they must.

There’s always a hint of a subliminal message if you cross them, like ‘dont do this’ or ‘don’t do that’ -- it comes with the territory of reading each other’s faces. 

Cancer/Taurus are tenacious, and that goes for their work/pursuit and advice. While they’re the type to look out for you, they get exasperated if you don’t take their words seriously or follow it to a T. 

Although they are thoughtful, protective and secure/assured in themselves. They can have a hard time seeing letting themselves be vulnerable or letting others take care of them. 

These people are the one who insists on their personal security, and that means keeping themselves contained. Even with their emotions, rarely do they acknowledge ‘uglier’ emotions such as jealousy, envy or pride that they have. 

Even when you point it out to them, or tell them so they can deal/work and identify it themselves. If Cancer/Taurus aren’t prepared to hear it-- they are shocked and become guarded, naturally defensive they close their ears and don’t listen to anyone else’s good will or advice for them

Taurus as a sign of Venus and Cancer as a sign of the Moon makes these people naturally sensitive to criticism, particularly ‘shutting their emotions’ down as to not get hurt. They approach personal criticism with objectivity instead of constructively using it to help themselves. 

Criticism are only valid if the Cancer/Taurus are prepared to hear it, or knows a way to work/deal with it through pragmatism. If not-- then it’s useless. Falls on deaf ears. 

It’s practically so hard to get them to listen to you so most people leave them to deal with it themselves-- looking on worriedly as they routinely make a subconscious bad habit of not looking after their own well-being-- and ignoring the productive way to get better because of their own-- focused ignorance. 

Breaking a habit/routine that gives them ‘personal security’--- even if it’s bad, but it gives them emotional gratification/safety for the time being. This is hard for the Cancer/Taurus to break and see for themselves. But this is the lesson they’ll have to bring, in order to fully realize how they can reflect and use their own flexibility fully instead.

I hope this is helpful! 💕💕💕 

[inevitably-johnlocked]

I'm a bit embarrassed to ask this. Have you ever read a fic that, stylistically, it's beautiful, linguistically it's tight, and it's obvious the author poured their whole self into constructing the plot, crafting the world, and nailing down the characterizations, but... You just don't get it? Like, perhaps there's some insight you're missing, and it's almost there, you think maybe you're close to getting what the author is trying to portray, but you just can't make the connection necessary?

(Embarrassed nonny continued) You even reread to make sure you didn’t skip anything, but it’s like it just seems that something missing? Or that you’re the one missing something vital? So you go to the comments to see if anyone else is confused, but all you see are lovely, supportive compliments about how beautiful the story is (and it is), or how heartwrenching it is (usually so). But you seem to be the only one not getting it?

(Embarrassed nonny cont. again) Is it destructive to let the author know that I think a story is beautiful in it’s telling, but that I don’t quite understand it? I don’t want to offend the author, who has clearly worked very hard, and I appreciate them so much. But, I want to understand the story they’re telling, even if I’m the only one not getting it. If that even makes any sense. P.S.- thanks for always taking time to listen to fandom woes and fielding requests. You’re a champion! ❤

Hi Nonny!

First of all, there’s nothing for you to be embarrassed about! Stories are partly about authorial intent, and partly about reader interpretation; no two people will interpret a story the same, and no author SHOULD expect a reader to interpret their story exactly as the author intended. SHERLOCK is a perfect example of this (the writers SAY they meant it to be one thing and literally the ENTIRE FANDOM is divided on what’s actually being shown on screen), or if you want to be more classical, the works of Shakespeare as well.

In fact, Shakespeare is a perfect example of your problem: I love Shakespeare: it’s beautifully written, it sounds lovely to the ear, and it invokes imagery based on how someone interprets it. But I sure as heck have NO idea what I read until someone explained it to me, or how I SHOULD have interpreted it (which, is oxymoronic to my point, I know…). Only after I hear how someone else interpreted the work, I can then RE-READ a work and begin to understand what was meant by it, and then develop my own interpretations. 

I’ve read a few fics by a couple authors in this fandom where I LOVED their writing, but I had NO idea what was happening until I re-read the fics… it’s a reading comprehension thing with me, I’m sure (my brain tends to move a bit quicker than I can read and talk, and in turn it also tends to wander when my eyes aren’t going fast enough, LOL), but a lot of times, if I just read a fic a second time I can then grasp the words my brain omitted the first time and then really enjoy and love the fic. I hate that about me, but that’s how my brain works… Perhaps it may be the same with your brain? If a fic is well written and you enjoyed it but just had some comprehension issues, perhaps a second read-through will help you as it has done with me :)

So, now to answer your question: if after reading a fic, and you don’t understand it, is it okay to ask the authorial intent of the story? Unfortunately, there is no yes-or-no answer to this question, Lovely, as every author is different. Personally – and this is just for me speaking, and what I would do or what I would not mind if I were the author – I think it’s alright, so long as you are respectful to them! Dig around their user pages and you can often find ways to interact with the author outside of their fics, or information about whether or not they want to read criticism etc. on their stories. If an author doesn’t want any interaction, they’ll be very clear about it, but most authors have ways to get in touch with them, so to ME that’s a saying “hey, if you have any questions, here’s how to get a hold of me!”. 

If they have a Tumblr with asks turned on, you can even do it like you have done for me here; write exactly what you mentioned, just tweak a few things: Mention how much you love their prose and their storytelling, and you can really feel how much love they put into the story. You found it interesting, though you’re unclear on a few parts. Ask them kindly how they intended for an audience to read it. Many creators appreciate honesty when talking about their works, so just be honest and say that you didn’t understand something and wouldn’t mind a bit of clarification about something. They can’t fault you for not understanding something, and if they do, well… I find that rather ableist, in my opinion: That’s like telling someone with dyslexia to just stop mixing up letters, or someone who’s native language isn’t English to just learn one of the most complex languages in the world with so many structure rules that make no sense half the time…. *shrugs* It’s harsh of me to say, I am sorry about that, writers, but reading comprehension doesn’t come easily for everyone.

ANYWAY, back to my point: An author, so long as you are respectful (and maybe peppering in some compliments and praise never hurts either… a lot of us creative-types have praise kinks) and don’t throw a backhanded compliment (like don’t say: “Your work is so amazing! Though I think you should make it easier for people to understand it, your words are too complex”), they will be more than happy to write out their intent for the story. Let them know it’s YOU who’s not understanding (so, “I have trouble understanding this part” as opposed to “you should make this work easier to read for everyone”… make the onus on YOU). DON’T be demanding (like, don’t say something that can be interpreted as “it’s YOUR responsibility to cater to MY need to understand”), and be patient for a reply.

You can see why this isn’t an easy yes-or-no answer, LOL. 

Essentially, kindness begets kindness, and respect begets respect. And –  this isn’t an attack on you personally with regards to this ask, because I know my audience are adorably shy beans – it might be a show of good faith and intentions to stay off anon when you ask your question; it shows the author that you aren’t being malicious, just simply a smol bean who loves stories and want to learn more about theirs. BUT, it IS okay to stay on-anon if you are shy / worried about not the author but other people interpreting it the wrong way, just make sure you tailor your question to the author in a respectful way that it comes across as respect. Perhaps something like this:

Hi, [author]! I really love your story, [story title]! It’s well-written and I can really tell how much you love this story and how much soul you put into it. I just had a question for you with regards to [name concern here]. [state question here]. I have trouble sometimes with [reading comprehension, English/language, dyslexia, etc.], and I would love to know what your ideas and thought process was for [character, plot point, situation, etc.]. Understanding what the author intended really helps me enjoy the stories even more than I already did, and your thoughts would be really helpful for when I re-read your story! Thank you so much for your time, and thank you for blessing us with this beautiful story!

Or something like that, LOL. And if you genuinely aren’t a native-language speaker, let them know that it’s not your first language so you’re just honestly not grasping a colloquialism that’s common in English but not in, say, German. It’s more common than you think! I’ve had people ask me in private before about a phrase I’ve written or about how they should interpret a meta of mine; I’ve never taken insult upon it, and in fact I love helping people understand my work so that they can enjoy other peoples’ content in the future. 

As an additional thought I just had, I think a good example of fandom-understanding-authors is, actually, the @johnlockficclub; every couple months or so we read new stories, and then at the end of the story, we ask authors our questions about their intent of the stories, and in turn the author gets an interesting (I hope) insight into how various people interpreted their stories. Even during the live-chats leading up to the author q-and-a, we all see how we each interpreted certain sections of the chapters we read that week, and see various viewpoints we never considered. So I think that is a wonderful way to see authorial intent vs. reader interpretation, and as far as I know, all the authors we’ve “interviewed” loved just getting that kind of feedback for their stories. You should join in on at least the author interviews just to see how they go and give you some ideas on how an author will take feedback. It’s so fascinating to me!

Just a fun little anecdote that oftentimes, it is a positive experience for an author because most of them love to talk about their stories – their stories are their children, and they care deeply for them, because it’s a part of them, and it’s an expression of their love. They WANT you to understand and enjoy their work. It’s a cyclical thing: if you understand their children so you can love them too, then they will love their fanbase and will want to continue to write since they received feedback that was validating to them that they produce work that people enjoy and want to know more about. 

Finally, I’d love for some authors to weigh in on their thoughts about this; would you be offended if someone loved your story but would want your clarification on some things, or want to know how you intended for the audience to perceive it? Please let us know!

Sorry this answer was so long, but I hope it helps!

P.S. Aww, you’re far too kind, Nonny! me. XD

[poetic-beats]

Criticism?

If you want to give me helpful feedback I am ALL EARS. Because that is why i post on a forum and have been for way before i made this blog like 2 years ago.

I LOVE to hear constructive thoughts on how to improve.

However I really do not get people who seemingly have seen little of my work. Especially since alot of my original posts to this blog were not what i considered ‘poetry’ in its most traditional sense a lot were in quote format and more like short prose...or those 6-10 word stories/poems.

Some were more statements and diary style entries hence the excerpts from a book i’ll never write tag.

Others maybe could be considered very very short poems but i guess it was not what i consider to be poetry poetry.

The stuff on the forum is the stuff i post more frequently now on here. 

Its not about length as such but also layout structure rhyme or no rhyme free flow etc.

Just all of it. 

And unfortunately the forum bugs out and stops counting after 500 poems on the main page but i know i have done quite a bit more than that because the no. has been stuck at 500 for months now.

If i go into categories i have posted my poems in less than 10% will be under the love category and within that are sad love poems.

So the comment i received today on a positive poem about love and support from  a partner during tough times being the same as every other piece of work i always write has baffled me.

I am making a deal out of it i guess by making this post and not just ignoring and moving on bcause i guess im wondering now is that how i am viewed am i just generic and spouting the same stuff over and over again? Are you my followers/readers tired of my poems?

Is there any feedback I can receive anon or not? Is there any other topics you would like to see me write about?

And also I kinda feel like when youve amassed over 500 poems around mostly niche topics like mental health specifically bipolar depression anxiety and BPD for the most part that there is gonna be similarities in the words i write. because i mean how many ways can you really talk about such a thing that makes it totally unique from your past works or even other peoples works on that subject matter.

Then we get into the philosophical debate of is anything ever truly original and unique anymore?

I dont know...And also honestly yes i want to improve my writing YES i want to write things that others find solace or happiness in or they can relate too. or that makes people FEEL something strongly etc.

But the only reason i ever started writing was for ME..a coping mechanism to handle my undiagnosed at the time mental illnesses and once i got diagnosed nothing changed. In fact by that point i had fallen in love with written word. 

I then focused on really improving and honing my poetry through advice on the forum i am a part of.

I want to write good poetry but first and foremost i do ultimately write for myself and to help me cope with stress in my life. So many nights recently ive wanted to die and self harm and instead ive sat at my laptop and just written poetry instead and its the thread that keeps me hanging on to life. 

It is my failsafe when all else is going wrong i have my voice through poetry to rely on. I dont know why but I just can’t say what i want to express about how I am depressed through voice or letter unless it in poetic form. I just find something about poetry itself as an easier vessel to express my emotions than any other form of writing! 

Anyways so YES please message me with other topics you would like me to write about and please if you have ANY helpful advice dont be afraid to message me anon or not just so long as you keep it civil dont outright trash me and just suggest how i could improve in a non confrontational manner we’ll be good!