#(but honestly wikipedia PALES in comparison to enthusiastic tumblr users.)

[sea-glass-and-fire]

I've never seen Succession but here's my impression of it from dash osmosis:

it's about a rich old man (named logan I think?) and his three adult children who want to inherit his business when he dies.

The family was estranged but at the beginning the dad's health declined and the adult children came back to try to get the inheritance.

Everyone HATES each other so much. They're all the WORST.

The children are named Shivan (also called shiv) (she doesn't spell it Siobhan so I have no idea how to spell it), tom, and...wait, i think logan is actually one of the children. Is the father named Dan or something?

everyone is very cringefail, except Shiv, who is a girlboss (but also kind of a girlfailure.)

There's also a cousin greg, who's the MOST cringefail. He's really a mess.

WAIT hold on I'm pretty sure he has a Thing(TM) with Shiv's husband, and I'm also pretty sure that people think that Greg and Tom are gonna fuck. so Tom is definitely not Shiv's brother.

I'm gonna be honest I know that the patriarch (...Dave? It's definitely not Dave, right?) has a daughter and two sons but I'll be fucked if I can produce any of their names besides Shiv..

The plot revolves around the family doing Rich People Business Things while being cringefail losers. Presumably at the end one of the adult children of ROY HIS NAME IS ROY I KNEW I WOULD REMEMBER!! will be chosen to inherit the business.

Is Cousin Greg in the running to inherit? Or does he just hang around to provide secondhand embarrassment and sexual tension with Shiv's husband?

Was he like...a business major? Because he really doesn't seem like he's adding that much professionally. But also it doesn't seem all that likely that Roy would choose this absolute drip of a man over his three actual children.

One of the Roy's sons (Logan or The Other One) committed vehicular manslaughter at one point and Roy Made It Go Away with like. expensive lawyers or bribing the judge or whatever rich people do. This did not take the son out of the running to inherit, so apparently everyone else really just sucks at being a human.

I DO get the sense that Shiv should be the one to take over and the only reason her brothers are even being considered is because Roy is sexist.

This whole shitshow just keeps rolling from conference room to conference room, getting in the way of actual work with their bizarre interpersonal drama.

I would therefore like to present my pitch for a spinoff: the head of HR who has to put out their fires finally snaps and turns to a life of crime like joker.

And that's Succession!! I'm definitely fuzzy on some of the details like the names, but I'm actually pretty confident about most of the rest of it.