#(but also yes swearing is fine my most frequently used word is literally ''fuck'' so youre all good)

[ruinous-confessions]

We are concerned with the amount of different alternative universes we've read about/created/seen, so, question; you aren't from the 'main dimension'—in a sense...?—correct? We read some stuff on the blog, and it seems like you're different. Most definitely, anyways.

This isn't really a confession, but we've seen some asks already answered on the blog that aren't confessions, so we supposed that we'd ask this.

:D

Why the h3ll<censored if ya don't enjoy cursing>did we turn British while typing & reading this?...

Yes, this dimension is... quite a bit different from the "main one" as you call it. Quite a few things are different though I couldn't exactly say what as I don't keep up with other dimensions much.

[in-love-with-darth-vader]

Star Wars as if it were like the Office! (Also i need a title, so if anyone has any ideas for that or any suggestions in general, let me know.

Also, sorry if this sucks. I don’t write very often nor have I ever written a screenplay type of thing before. I honestly just did this for fun!

PART 1

“Anakin, what are you doing?”

“I’m standing on the edge of this balcony.”

“Yes, I can see that. Why are you standing on the edge of that balcony?”

*pan to the chaos of Coruscant below; ships speeding in traffic, huge buildings, and an insanely long drop. Obi-Wan is standing behind Anakin on the part of the balcony that’s made to be stood on; Anakin is on the edge of the railing*

“Uh, well, some of the clones said there was no way that I could jump and land in one of the ships flying through the city, and I told them I definitely could, so here I am.”

*Obi-Wan looks to the camera in annoyance and disbelief; camera pans down to Anakin’s end point where Fives, Echo, and Jesse wave up to his position*

“Absolutely not. Get down from there right this instant!”

“Sorry, Master!”

*he jumps, and he is flying through the air for about two seconds when he suddenly freezes. Obi-Wan is looking down at him as he holds him mid air with the Force, slowly raising him back up to eye level*

“Anakin, you are twenty years old. Could you maybe start acting like it?”

*he drops him onto the floor; Anakin gets up and sulkingly follows Obi-Wan out of the room*

*this would be where the theme song and title card would go*

In the background: “yeah, so Obi-Wan refused to let me jump, so I had to come back here. Sorry you all waited for nothing”

*Obi-Wan turns to the camera*

So, does Anakin do this sort of thing frequently?

“Oh, yes. He doesn’t seem to care about safety or his own well-being. That’s the third time this month I’ve had to stop the Balcony Jump. And clearly I’m the only one who thinks these are bad ideas, so I’m always the one who has to step in. I swear I already have a few grey hairs from having to stop Anakin from doing something stupid so often.”

*back to normal scene*

“Alright, everyone gather around, we have a new mission to discuss.”

*anakin, ahsoka, and many of the clones from the 501st and 212th gather around Obi-Wan*

“The chancellor seems to think it’s a good idea for us to go investigate a possible takeover on Ryloth….” *fades out as we zoom in on Anakin clearly bored and not listening*

“I hate debriefings. When Obi-Wan does them he talks for forever. They’re too long, so I just tune him out and pretend like I know what I’m doing on the actual mission. When I tell the others what we’ve been assigned, I take 2 minutes tops. Master Obi-Wan stretches it into at least 10.”

*now to ahsoka*

“Yeah, Master Kenobi goes over every single detail in the mission log every single time. I’ve had to slap Anakin awake in the middle of a meeting too many times to count.”

*back to obi wan speaking to them all*

“So, we need to go in and investigate the distress signal’s purpose, mainly to see if it’s a separatist attack. Anakin, you’ll be positioned here and you’ll direct your troops to-Anakin?? Are you listening to me?”

*obi wan turns away from his whiteboard where he’s drawing out strategy to see Anakin staring slightly up at the ceiling. Anyone else wouldn’t have noticed, but Obi wan knows his past-padawan turned Jedi Knight too well*

“What? Oh, yeah, of course I am.”

*interview with obi wan*

“Anakin is a terrible liar. You’ll soon find that out.”

*switch to interview with Anakin*

“Luckily for me, I’m an amazing liar, so I’m not worried.”

*back to the scene. Obi-Wan has his hands on his hips in his judgmental pose™️ facing Anakin*

“Oh really? Then what did I just tell you to do?”

“Uhhh I have to hold my position, lead the 501st, all that jazz”

“Mhm and where is this all going down?”

“Uh, Iridonia of course.”

“You literally could not be more incorrect.”

*obi wan int.*

“Told you so.”

*anakin int.*

“Okay, in my defense, there’s thousands of planets. I had like a 1% chance of guessing correctly.”

*back to the scene*

“Ryloth, Anakin. Ryloth is where we’re going. A distress call was detected coming from the planet, and since the Separatists have a history of meddling with the peace of Ryloth and its citizens, we were instructed to go inspect. I will not repeat myself again. That is all, everyone get ready. You’re dismissed.”

*interview with Rex; clones preparing armor and weapons in the background*

So, are you kind of like the leader of the clones around here?

“Uh, I’m the captain of the 501st Battalion under General Skywalker’s command. I follow his orders and then lead my brothers to execute those orders. We’re one of the most successful groups of clones, so I take great pride in-“

*rex is interrupted as the camera switches focus to the background where Jesse Kix and Fox are all at each other’s throats. They’re stealing each other’s helmets and tossing them around. Rex turns to look*

(Sigh) “as I was saying…I take great pride in our success and professionalism.”

“Rex!”

“Sorry, gotta go do my job now.”

*they board the ships and head off to Ryloth*

*camera switches to Anakin on Ryloth*

“Can we please leave now?”

“Absolutely not, Anakin. We still aren’t quite certain what set off the alarm.”

“It was probably just an accident. There’s nothing here, Master. Ahsoka, back me up.”

*ahsoka is looking down at and messing with a data pad clearly not listening to Anakin*

“What? Oh, uh, yeah. Totally.”

“Were you even listening to me?! I was speaking to you, Ahsoka. Can I get a little bit of respect please?”

*obi wan looks at the camera like ‘are you fucking kidding me’*

“Listen, Master, I started to tune you out like an hour ago. All you’ve done is complain.”

“Because there’s nothing here! I want to go home!”

“You just want to get back to Coruscant in time to go to that party for the senators.”

“What??????!?!?? That’s absurd, master. Absolutely preposterous. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

*cut to Anakin*

“Okay, I know exactly what he’s talking about, but I can’t admit it! There’s this politician gathering tonight and normally I wouldn’t be one to willingly seek out social gatherings-especially one full of politicians-but Padme is going and she asked if I would come. So of course I said yes. Also, they usually have those little cocktail weenies, so no way I’m missing that.”

*cut to obi wan*

“Anakin is terrible at hiding things, especially from me. He clearly wants to get back so he can go to the party tonight with Senator Amidala.”

Any reason why he’d want to go with her so bad?

“Oh, yes, you see my former Padawan thinks he’s sly, but as we all know he’s a terrible liar. He’s been pining after the senator since he was a boy. I assumed it would pass by now, but clearly he’s still infatuated with her. They’re very good friends but he still has his teenage crush on her. It’s very unprofessional.”

Will you be attending it as well?

“Oh, no. I’m not one for politics.”

*back to the scene*

“What? Master why are you going to that stupid thing? You hate those types of parties! Plus, last I checked, you are not a politician.”

*cut to Anakin*

“So I’ve never actually told Ahsoka about my secret relationship with Padmé…”

*back to the scene*

“Uhhhhh because I’m good friends with the Chancellor, obviously. He would like me there to….to talk about strategies. Yes. Strategies for the Republic.”

“At a formal gathering for politicians? That doesn’t even make any sense!”

“...you’re asking way too many questions, Snips. We have a mission to focus on! You’re better than this!”

*ahsoka looks suspiciously at him as obi wan shakes his head at the two of them*

“Now that you’re done bickering, will you two please go explore the blocked off caverns for any possible signs of life?”

*both, simultaneously and clearly annoyed*

“Yes, Master.”

——-

“You know, there’s nothing in these caves. He just wanted us out of his hair. He’s just keeping us busy.”

“How can you know for sure?”

“Because I don’t sense anything. There’s nothing in here.”

“Master Kenobi told us to do it, so that’s what we’re gonna do.”

“So you listen to all of his orders but not mine?”

“Well, Obi-Wan doesn’t lie to me, so yes.”

“Psh. Pssshh. I’m not lying to you...that’s ridiculous.”

“It’s not. Tell me the real reason you’re going to that party! I know that you’re lying!”

“I’m absolutely telling the truth. I don’t know why you’re so adamant about this. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“Oh please. Whenever you lie you start using big words and you talk faster than normal. Just tell me the truth!”

“Fine. My friend Senator Amidala was allowed to bring someone and since we’re friends she asked me if I would like to come along too. So I said yes.”

“That wasn’t so hard, was it? Makes sense why you’re so anxious about it.”

“Whatta you mean?”

“Oh, nothing, it’s just that you’re going to a party as the Senator’s plus one which she asked you to. It’s definitely a date.”

“Whaaaaaaaatt. It’s not a date. That’s ludicrous! We’re just friends. Plus, I’m a Jedi. We can’t go on dates!”

“Right, and you don’t have a crush on her.”

“I don’t have a crush on her! We’re friends! It’s extremely platonic.”

*int. With Anakin*

“Okay, so it’s not platonic. But I don’t have a crush on her because I’m married to her! If I tell her that I willingly break the Jedi Code whenever I want, then maybe she will too! And then what kind of Master would I be?!?!”

I thought you technically weren’t a Jedi Master.

*zooms in on anakin’s ‘I will fuckin kill you’ face”

*back to the scene*

“Right, and I don’t secretly steal your jackets when you’re sleeping when I’m cold.”

“What?”

“What?!”

“.....look, can we just get back to the mission?”

“Sure thing, Skyguy. Wait till Master Kenobi hears about this.”

*under his breath* “pretty sure he already knows...”

*scene switch to obi wan, he’s with Cody and many other clones. They’re in a room in one of the government buildings on Ryloth surrounding a beacon device. It’s a distress signal activator.*

“And you’re sure you didn’t do this, Mr. Syndulla?”

“No, Master Kenobi. I only use the distress beacon for serious emergencies. I have no clue as to who did this. There aren’t many people that have access, and it’s not something that just anyone can do by accident. You must enter a code and confirm multiple times.”

“Thank you for the information. Will you let us inspect the fortress for any intruders?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Thank you. Cody, take Waxer, Boil, and Gearshift to the west wing. Gregor, you and your troops take the left. Myself and Crys will start here. Report back if you find anything.”

“Sir yes sir!”

*we see Obi-Wan and Crys searching first. They stayed in the room where the beacon is kept. Obi-Wan is looking through digital records as Crys is underneath it looking at its internal parts like those scenes where someone is laying on a skateboard to fix a car*

“This is strange. There’s no trace of tampering with the records or files. Nothing was wiped. This doesn’t seem like sabotage or a distraction for something bigger. Crys, do you have anything?”

*crys rolls out from under the beacon*

“No, sir. Everything is wired and hooked up properly. No signs of sabotage or demolition.”

“Hmm.”

*Int. With Crys*

“I’m really good with robots and droids, so that’s probably why General Kenobi wanted me to tag along with him. Usually he takes Cody, but this is more of my field of expertise.”

*back to the scene*

“This is trivial indeed.” *he’s doing his beard stroke* “I wonder if the others have found anything.”

*switch over to gregor and his troops. They’re searching the left wing of the fortress. They’ve been interviewing many citizens of Ryloth. They’re not very successful*

“I don’t see the point in talking to anyone else. I doubt they’re gonna know anything. We should report back to the general.”

*int with Gregor*

So, Gregor, can you give us a little summary of what you do around here?

“Yeah, sure thing. Uh, I’m kind of like third in command here. I’m a captain in the 212th Battalion and that’s pretty much all there is to it.”

Your helmet is very interesting. It’s pretty unique compared to the rest of your brothers.

“Oh, this? Some clones have tallies, but these represent stitches.” *he points to em* “It’s basically just showing how many injuries I’d have and how many stitches I would’ve gotten if I didn’t have the helmet. I think it’s pretty cool.”

*back to the scene. They’ve found nothing*

“Yeah, I’ll comm the general.”

*gregor taps into his comms and contacts Obi-Wan*

“Gregor, have you found anything?”

“No, general, I called to report that we’ve found nothing out of place. The twi’leks we’ve interviewed seem like they know nothing. How about you?”

“No, sadly we’ve come across nothing either. The beacon hasn’t been tampered with whatsoever.”

“We’ll keep looking around. I’ll keep you updated.”

*he hangs up the comm*

“Alright, boys, let’s keep going!”

*we now cut to Waxer and Boil being lead by Cody. They’re going door to door in the right wing where the rooms are located asking questions*

“This is leading us nowhere, Commander.”

“I know, Boil, but General Kenobi told us to inspect the entire right wing. We only have three more rooms to do. Let’s go.”

“Fine.”

*they knock at the next door*

“Hello?”

“Hello, ma’am. My name is Commander Cody of the 212th Attack Battalion. We’re on a mission here from the Jedi council. The distress beacon gave off a signal earlier today and we were wondering if you knew anything about it.”

“I’m very sorry I can’t be of any help to you, Commander, but I know nothing.”

*suddenly, a small child comes running down the hallway laughing. She trips and falls and scrapes her knee.*

“hey, are you okay?”

“Waxer you know that’s not how you talk to a child!”

“I’m sorry! You know I get awkward around kids. Why do we always find a runaway child when we’re on Ryloth? Like, how has this actually happened twice?”

*boil ignores him and kneels down to the kid*

“Hey there. My name is Boil. Are you okay? Do you need help?”

*she looks a bit frightened still. Boil realizes he still has his helmet on so he takes it off.*

“Sorry about that. Is it okay if I patch up your knee? I keep bandages on me, you can even pick the color if you want.”

“...okay. Blue please.”

“Blue it is. So, why were you running so fast? Is anything chasing you?”

“No. I was just looking for my papa. And I’m bored. I played with his fun machine today.”

“His machine, huh?”

*the three clones look at each other with a look™️ and Cody comms obi wan*

“General? I think we found your culprit”

——————

“‘Wow Anakin, you’re such a genius. It’s almost as if you were right all along!’ ‘Why thank you, Master. I knew I was right, and now we can go home even though we could’ve earlier.’ ‘Yes, you’re so right. We should’ve listened to you the whole time-“

“Anakin, are you finished?”

“‘we should make you a master on the council. I admire you.’ Now I’m finished.”

“Oh, give it a rest, Master. We get it, you’re right, now let’s get you home for your date.”

*anakin freezes and turns slowly. They’ve been walking up the ramp to board their ship when ahsoka said that. Anakin is now very red in the face*

“....what. What are you talking about snips??!! I don’t have a date. I don’t date. I’m just attending a senator party with the Chancellor. A date. Psh. Psh.”

“But you told me-“

“LETS GET ON THE SHIP, AHSOKA!”

*obi wan just rolls his eyes as they board the ship*

*We’re back to Coruscant!*

“Finally, we’re home. I’m so tired from all the nothing we did.”

“Oh, Anakin, you are such a drama queen. We did our mission like we were supposed to. Now, can I please speak to you in private?”

“Yes, Master.”

“Even though you have complained a lot today, I still care about you Anakin, and I know you made a promise to someone else already. So, I will go inform the Jedi Council that this was a false alarm by myself. Maybe I’ll take your Padawan. But you, my friend, should go get ready for your senator party.”

*anakin hugs obi wan*

“Thank you, Obi-Wan. I owe you one.”

*anakin goes up to his apartment on Coruscant where Padme is; she’s on their couch reading something and already dressed when anakin comes in*

“I’m back! I’m finally back!”

“Hello to you too Anakin. I was hoping they’d let you out. You’re cutting it close this time.”

“I’m so sorry. We had to go to Ryloth for no reason and Obi-Wan wouldn’t let me leave until we knew for sure what happened.”

“Well, I’m glad you made it in time.”

“Me too. Obi-Wan is letting me skip the debriefing for this.”

*he goes to change into his formal clothes for the party. Padme is already wearing one of her super rad fancy senator outfits. Anakin has an all black suit cause you know he’s that guy™️.

*int with Padme*

“Anakin has missed a lot of these outings with me due to Jedi business, so I wasn’t expecting him to actually be here for this one. I’m glad he is. I don’t see him as often as I wish I did.”

Do you ever think of asking him to leave the Jedi Order then?

“Oh, no. Absolutely not. I would never ask him to give up his life like that. And I don’t want that either. He’s a great Jedi and he loves what he does. I would never try to take that away from him.”

*back to scene. Now they’re walking down the halls of the senate building on their way to the party*

“So, get this, Ahsoka is convinced that I have a crush on you and that this is a date.”

“I mean, she’s not exactly wrong, is she?”

“Well, no, but I don’t really have a crush on you since, you know, we’re married. And she meant date as in ‘you invited me to this thing but we’re not together but in her eyes, it’s a date’ kind of thing.”

“Hmm so she still doesn’t know?”

“No. I can’t bring myself to tell her. I love her, but I don’t want to taint her mind and views of the Jedi Code and council. It wouldn’t be fair.”

“A very good point. You’re a good Master, Anakin.”

“Thanks.”

*they then enter the party. Many political figures from across the galaxy are there already. Its purpose is unknown to us, but it is clear that it’s important but also not too serious. They speak with many different people included Palpatine. We have yet to actually speak to him yet. Anakin is eventually over near the snack table, a drink in his hand and another one being handed off to Padme*

“Here you go. It’s your favorite.”

“Thank you. So, are you having fun yet?”

“Well, I don’t think I’ll ever have fun hanging around any politicians but you, but it’s not so bad. Plus, these snacks are really good.”

*padme rolls her eyes but laughs at him*

“It’s nice for us all to get together like this. It’s important for the Republic.”

“Mm, indeed.”

*they continue chatting until Anakin notices someone across the room. Fancy blue outfit. Blonde hair up in a bun. He doesn’t notice who it really is until she comes a bit closer. He does the pikachu face and drops his drink, luckily catching it midair with the force as he apologizes to those around him*

“Anakin?? Are you okay? What was that for?”

“You didn’t tell me she was going to be here!”

“Who?”

*he points to her by nudging his head in her direction hoping Padme will see who he’s talking about*

“Her? That’s my friend Satine. She’s the Duchess of Mandalore. She’s-wait a minute, how do you know her??!?”

“Nothing bad, I assure you. I’m actually quite fond of her. I just wish I knew sooner!”

“Why?”

“Because that, my love, is Obi-Wan’s girlfriend.”

END of this part.

Part2

——

[elencelebrindal]

I have a question who of the Gold Saints would cuss more like “Son of a B@tch!” Or “Mother Trucker” etc. And on the flip side who would scold more for using that kind of language?

Well, beware of the huge amount of swear material of this post! 

On a scale from “motherfucker” to “darn”, I’d say the motherfucker is Deathmask and the darn is Aldebaran.  Can you picture that man swearing? I can’t. 

But let’s go kind of in order, from worse to best at containing their swears. 

1. Deathmask

Yeah, this man has a huge vocabulary of swear words and expressions. Most times he takes some from Italian as well. The most used is “Minchia!”, mostly because he can use it in any situation.  The best, though, was when he stubbed his toe against the bed. No one heard such a long string of profanities before. 

2. Aphrodite

Yeah, this man is not the delicate rose people like to depict. And, given how many times he surely has pricked himself with rose thorns, you can imagine how frequently you hear him say “fuck” in the most annoyed voice.  (For his followers, think Markiplier when he keeps failing something and just goes “fuck” “fuuuck” “fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck”, it’s the best example I have). 

3. Saga (after Ares) / Kanon

I think we all know Kanon swears like a sailor in the middle of a storm. Not as much as Deathmask and Aphrodite, but still enough to have the podium of this list.  Bonus point to the day he straight up swore in front of Athena because the Scarlett Needle fucking hurts. Turns out, saying “son of a bitch” out loud in the near vicinity of a goddess is not a good idea.  Saga, on the other hand, curses just as much but he’s way more silent. If you hear him cursing out loud, you’re fucked. He used to never swear, unless he got really angry at someone, but after Ares scrambling his brain like a shakeable toy he started resembling his brother more and more by the day. 

4. Milo

I hope you expected him here. Though, he mostly happens to cuss when he’s alone and stuff goes wrong, so people always assume he has a way cleaner mouth. Memorable the time he stubbed his nail (yeah, that nail) against the wall because he tripped (trust me it happens, source: me tripping on my own feet) and just went “son of a fuck!” so loud Aiolos and Dohko heard him.

5. Shura

“Son of a bitch” and “you’re an asshole” are words that easily come out his mouth, especially when he’s talking with Deathmask. He almost took Milo’s 4th place the day when he accidentally destroyed his house with Excalibur and swore like a madman for 1 hour straight in three different languages.  But he also has a habit of scolding younger people for swearing, even if he himself just spoke a profanity. 

6. Aiolos

You thought this man would have been the perfect person with the cleanest mouth of the Sanctuary? Well, think again. The string of profanities he conjured up the day of Saga’s betrayal alone is enough to put him in this spot.  Of course, he will scold anyone that comes up with a curse word in his vicinity, and teach them a lesson by quite literally washing their mouths with soap. But he’s also one to go “what the fuck are you doing?” to people when something weird is happening.  The best thing happened when he - sleep deprived - heard a Bronze say a curse word, wanted to scold him for it, told them “what the fuck do you think you’re saying”, realized his mistake, told them to stop swearing, and went back to sleep. All in the span of 5 minutes. 

7. Aiolia

Turns out, having a brother that occasionally swears but it also strict about it creates a very confused man that yes, swears every once in a while, but mostly uses “safe” curse words, like damn and crap.  Although, he’s not really the safest one, because Aiolia will throw you a “son of bitch” or an F-bomb if particularly angry.  He’s also the only one of the Saints that, probably during the whole ordeal with Loki, actively cursed against a god.  Luckily for him, Aiolos didn’t hear it.

8. Camus

Extremely against Hyoga cursing, not so much against himself saying “go fuck yourself” to Surt when he killed Shura. Although, it’s incredibly rare to hear him actually swear. He’s only this high on the list because when he does, he goes full force for it. 

9. Dohko

Years and years spent sitting on a rock by himself surely had a role in him not swearing anymore, because what’s the point, but sometimes... sometimes he still lets one or two curse words slip by.  He’s more focused on making other people stop cursing, though. No one will ever forget how long it took for him to make Shiryu stop swearing towards the waterfall. He did a good job, though, no one would ever suspect Shiryu used to yell “you stupid fucking waterfall” on a daily basis like a child. 

10. Mu

He mostly scolds other people for swearing, but understands that sometimes the setting and the situation is just right for them. So, when Kiki accidentally teleported a tiger in the middle of Rodorio, with subsequent panic ensuing, he was perfectly fine with both of them saying “oh, shit!” simultaneously.  But other than “holy shit”, he never really uses proper curse words, and sticks to “family friendly” ones, just out of habit. Having to take care of a child does that. 

11. Shaka

He doesn’t care about people swearing, and doesn’t swear himself, but... he’s not the best at keeping it together for a reason.  That reason being, the longest, loudest, most creative combination of insults, curse words, and general profanity he let out for the first and last time in his life. You can freely imagine what happened for this to be a thing. In my book (literally, in my fanfic) it was Shaka getting interrupted for the umpteenth time in his mission to get some sweet sweet love, by a tree almost falling on him. 

12. Aldebaran

He’s too good, I don’t want him to swear. Most he does is some “family friendly” curse words that aren’t actually curse words.  Leave this sweet man without profanity, please. 

[bigskydreaming]

what are your favorite and least favorite tropes in fanfiction regarding dick grayson?

Most of these I feel are probably a given with me given that I am apparently physically incapable of being subtle and am donating my body to science upon my demise so that this phenomenon may be studied. For Science.

(But also like, the funny thing about me is as much as I rant about a few specific topics its only so frequent because there’s actually only a few specific things I gripe about its just that they’re eeeeeeeeeeverywhere.)

Thus, in no particular order, my least favorite Dick Grayson tropes in fanon and in canon because I can’t read apparently OR AT LEAST I CHOOSE NOT TO FOR THE PURPOSES OF THIS EXERCISE, JEEZ, LEAVE ME ALONE....

1) Police officer Dick Grayson

2) Dick hated Jason pre-death and/or judges and is incapable of understanding or empathizing with Jason post-his return

3) Police officer Dick Grayson

4) Dick’s loved ones and friends all making jokes and insults out of the nickname he keeps in memory of his parents and Dick being all like lol this is fine, this isn’t debilitating to my self-esteem at all hahaha oh man that was a good one, I AM a Dickface, you nailed it!

5) Police officer Dick Grayson

6) Dick’s loved ones and friends all punching Dick every time he puts a foot out of place and then everyone both in-universe and in-comments being like NO PROBLEMS DETECTED, and also WOW, CHILL OUT DG, TEMPER MUCH?

7) Police officer Dick Grayson

8) Dick fired Tim and callously kicked him out of his home and the city UMM METHINKS THE FUCK NOT

9) Police officer Dick Grayson

10) Only addressing conflicts between Bruce and Dick when using the framing device “when you think about it though isn’t it still like at least half Dick’s fault that Bruce fired him and kicked him out of his home and hit him and guilt-tripped him into doing what he wanted.”

11) Bonus round - sub Dick Grayson. Like, I barely ever read smut in this fandom because I’m like ‘mmm, no thx and also hard pass’ to rape and incest as fetish or porn, and its like....hard enough to find any mature content with Dick that doesn’t overlap with at least one of those so I just kinda stopped looking ages ago, but even just when glancing my eyes past tags while browsing, I just DON’T GET THIS. I tend to be a variety is the spice of life kinda guy and thus usually can make a case for any character going any which way in any number of things, but this is the one character where I’m like, I do not see any angle in which he has a submissive bone in his body. Yeah he has control freak tendencies and there’s that trope about people who spend most of their time in charge wanting to give up control and let go at times, buuuuuut that only actually works with people who don’t fully WANT to be in charge or control to begin with, not people like Dick whose control freak tendencies IMO are directly born of how rarely he gets to be in control of even his own personal life in the first place. Just doesn’t compute for me.

And in no particular order, top ten most favorite Dick Grayson takes in canon and fanon, with these weirdly just being the direct inverse of things I hate because I mentioned the Not Subtle thing and also the Not Actually As Picky As I Often Come Across As, right?

1) Anything other than police officer Dick Grayson

2) Dick and Jason being bros who get along and confide in each other about the stuff they can’t/won’t share with anyone else because they understand each other in ways most others never will, and also also them having Secret History as Brothers BECAUSE THEY ARE BROTHERS WITH HISTORY BUT I FUCKIN’ DIGRESS

3) A Tim who respects and appreciates Dick’s contributions to his life and happiness and the amount of time and effort Dick has put into being there for him often at his own personal expense, even if there have been like one or two times in the grand scheme of thirty years of comic book content when Dick wasn’t able to put Tim first because he felt he had to put someone with directly competing needs to Tim’s first in this particular time and place instead, just like he had so often before put Tim’s needs ahead of others who had competing needs at the time

4) A Bruce who acknowledges his fuck-ups with Dick and actually apologizes instead of just being like “I am going to look at you solemnly with my Apologetic Eyes but its on you to read the Apology clearly present in my Apologetic Eyes cuz that’s the only one you’ll ever get as I am a genius and a renowned playboy but I do not do the words good except for when I am being genius-y and renowedly playboy-y and not Apologetic.” And who also puts in actual work to actually fix things with Dick when he fucks up in that over-the-top-I GOTTA BE THE BEST THERE EVER WAS, POK-E-MON!! kinda over-achieving way in which he does everything in life.

5) An extended Batfamily and hero community who actually ACT like Dick is someone they respect and appreciate and are in awe of for his position and accomplishments in the hero community and the fact that he’s been out there risking his life day in and day out for people almost as long as any other hero out there, and who has in fact been doing this for a FAR greater percentage of his lifetime than any other hero, period. Rather than an extended Batfamily and hero community who just SAY that Dick is respected and appreciated by everyone and this is why actually they resent him and think he’s over-rated, with no actual sign or evidence of Respect, Appreciation and/or Awe on display anywhere at any time ever.

6) A Dick Grayson who is allowed by the narrative to be as hyper-competent and intelligent and multi-skilled as any member of the Batfamily, without feeling a need for qualifiers about him being second best or a good acrobat but not as good at the detective stuff as the others, etc, etc. Noooooope. Nerp. Nuh-uh. Someday I will rise from my death-bed amid my death-throes one last time just long enough to gasp out “The Batfamily’s entire high concept is that they are a family of literal Mary Sues and thus all of them are every bit as intelligent and hyper-competent as the plot demands and its stupid to try and rank them and telling when Dick somehow always ends up ranked bottom last despite being the kid whose very existence as a hyper-competent little genius troll boy is what jumpstarted the kid hero trend in universe in the first place, which is the kind of thing that could ONLY happen if he was impressing and making second-guessers of nay-sayers left and right BUT I FUCKING DIGRESS, GOOD NIGHT NEW YORK, AND SCENE!” At which point I will expire, my work here done.

7) A Dick Grayson who is allowed to get mad and yell when people DO FUCKED UP THINGS LIKE HIT HIM AND BLAME HIM FOR SHIT THAT ISN’T HIS FAULT without this being viewed as a “flaw” and him Being Dick Grayson Badly. Extra points for a Dick Grayson who is allowed to stay centered in his own traumas and tragedies without everyone else around him somehow making it out to be that they’re MORE victimized by the things he is most directly the victim of.

8) A Dick Grayson who eats more than just sugary cereal because he was literally raised from birth even pre-Bruce as a world class athlete and show me one single person that description matches who doesn’t know how to actually keep to a nutritious diet. Yes, by all means have him eat the occasional sugary snack as a treat, that’s fine, but when the take is that this is all he exists on or would be the only thing he exists on if not for the intercession of Actual Adults being like eat your veggies, Dickie, like.....mmmm, but whatcha doin’, fic?

9) A Dick Grayson who doesn’t actually even HAVE to get mad and lose his temper when people do fucked up things like hit him and blame him for shit that isn’t his fault or do nothing but mock and insult him and make him feel bad, because there’s actually other friends and family present who make a point to be like WHOA, HOW ABOUT I SHUT THIS SHIT DOWN LIKE AN INTELLECTUAL, BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS NOT OKAY? I’m just saying, how is it that every single fic and their grandma posits the existence of a swear jar because Alfred will not tolerate uncouth language in his domain, but it coooooooompletely flies over everyone’s head that Alfred of all people would be okay with people casually disrespecting his eldest grandson for the sake of a yawn-worthy punchline every single time someone opens their mouth to say “Dickhead” without even any kind of “Swear jar!” follow-up, let alone a “I don’t know who gave you the idea it was alright to disrespect Master Dick’s memories of his parents, young sirs, but I assure you most assuredly...‘TWAS NOT I.”

10) The existence of literally any other plot for Dick Grayson than one involving or relying on brainwashing. Like, just spitballing here but maybe people would have less trouble acknowledging and remembering the hyper-competence and skilled and genius qualities of the first Batkid if he was able to more often put those things on display instead of just running around 24/7 either brainwashed or brandishing pom-poms in enthusiastic commemoration of the hyper-competence and genius of everyone BUT him.

11) Bonus round - literally any other career choice besides being a cop.

[wiener-soldiers]

atypical family dinners - peter parker

summary: peter thought that the scariest thing about dating tony stark’s eldest daughter would be facing brooding starks. turns out, it’s facing the rest of the avengers.

words: 1.6k

warnings: au? (welcome to the latest episode of ‘eliza ignores infinity war and endgame’) everything is all fine and dandy between steve and tony, morgan is in this. also not really edited.

a/n: i made a post about peter babysitting morgan. don’t tell me that’s not the most perfect thing you’ve ever heard. this is the product of that.

“(Y/N).”

“Yeah, Dad?”

“Did you clean your room?”

“Did you clean your room?”

“(Y/N),” your Dad whines.

“Someone taught me this thing to deal with your pestering: if you ask me to do something, I ask you if you’ve done the same thing.”

“Did your Uncle Rhodey tell you that?”

“Uncle Steve, actually. Give him more credit.”

Tony rolls his eyes at you as you sit across from him on the kitchen island. He stands at the sink washing blueberries (for you and him, you guess it runs in the family) while you absentmindedly twirl a pencil in your fingers while staring at the functions problem in front of you.

“Question,” you say to your Dad. Tony looks up while mid-eating another blueberry. He nods in your direction for you to continue, “Why do I need to learn periodic functions? Like yeah, I get how there are real-life applications, but no cycle is perfect. I need to learn this again because, why?”

Tony chuckles softly throwing a blueberry up in the air at you. Ungracefully, you stumble out of your chair to catch it in your mouth.

He cheers at you before saying, “Well, I’m pretty sure you gotta learn it to learn more math.”

“Okay, that’s bullshit.”

“Very fair, but watch your mouth.”

“Says you.”

“You’re using that strategy again, aren’t you?”

The elevator door on the far side of the common floor at the Avengers’ Tower. You take a glance at the metal doors as they slide open, revealing Peter Parker. The puppy-eyed boy catches your gaze and you offer him a soft smile, which he returns.

Peter frequents the tower for several reasons: for the ‘Stark Internship,’ because your Dad likes the kid more then you let on, and because you and Peter have been dating for the past few months.

“Hey, look who’s here!” Tony says as he notices your gaze elsewhere. He throws a blueberry at Peter as he approaches, but instead of catching it, he whacks it away in surprise.

“Pete, don’t waste the blueberries!”

“You expect me to catch that? It was heading straight for my face!” he says before stepping forward and pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. You smile at him before he waves at your Dad, “Hi, Mr. Stark.”

He shudders at your PDA before saying, “I forgot you two were still teenagers and still did that whole…lovey-dovey affection thing.”

Peter blushes immensely while you roll your eyes, “It’s not like you don’t do that with Pepper.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Tony finishes before putting the washed blueberries in a bowl and sliding them across the counter to you and Peter. “You staying over for dinner, Parker?”

“Uh…I don’t know Mr. Stark. I don’t want to be intruding,” he stammers. You and Peter had been dating for about six months. Your Dad had almost no problem with the two of you together (“He’s a good kid. I’d rather you date him than some Upper East Side prick.”), Pepper thought he was a great influence and absolutely adorable, and your step-sister Morgan absolutely loved the kid. However, your extended Avengers family didn’t really know a lot about him. Your Uncle Steve likes him and knows he has a good heart, but everyone else was hesitant to let their little baby (granted, you were in high school) hang around with a guy, more so a guy with powers.

You poke him with the end of your pencil, “You’re just saying that because you don’t want to deal with domestic Avengers.”

“…So?”

Both Starks laugh at him as he stuffs blueberries in his mouth.

“C’mon, Parker. They’re harmless. Uncle Bucky looks brooding but he’s literally just a big teddy bear. Uncle Sam is a little—”

“Much,” your Dad finishes for you.

You throw a blueberry at him to shut him up, “Whatever. But he’s fucking hilarious.”

“(Y/N)! The mouth on you, I swear to God.”

“I wonder where I get it from?” You tell him sarcastically, to which he smirks at you.

“Seriously though,” Tony says to Peter, giving him a soft and reassuring smile, “consider staying for dinner. Pepper’s making pasta, Steve and I’ll try our hand at the barbeque.”

You clasp your hand around his, rubbing it softly, “You’re an Avenger now, and your family. Stay for dinner, Pete.”

He glances at the two of you before sighing, “Okay, I’ll stay. But—can we hang out with Morgan first, I love that kid.”

--

You and Peter walk hand-in-hand down the streets of Manhattan with a blabbering Morgan on his back. Morgan chats about her new-found knowledge on cheetahs on a documentary she watched at school while eating a cone of ice cream as Peter carries her piggy-back style.

You let Morgan go on for longer as you and Peter let your hands swing. The warm sun reflects off the buildings and you smile at Peter.

“Hey, Peter?” Morgan asks, offering you the ice-cream cone she’s holding so she can wrap her arms around Peter’s neck. You take the cone from her, not before smearing a little bit of the ice-cream on her nose. She laughs at you before rubbing it off.

“Yeah, kid?”

“Dad says you’re staying for dinner and you’re scared of all of my Aunts and Uncles,” your little sister states bluntly.

“I am not—”

“Peter,” you say with a soft smile, “you know she’s right.”

The three of you arrive at the entrance of Avengers’ Tower and make your way inside. Peter lets Morgan off his back and she waves at every employee milling around. The three of you make your way to the elevator and step inside.

“Hey, Miss F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” Morgan asks politely while looking up to the ceiling. You and Peter chuckle softly as she sways back and forth.

“Yes, Miss Morgan?” the automated A.I. says.

Morgan smiles, “Can you take us to my Dad? It’s dinner and I’m hungry.”

The elevator starts shifting upwards, “Of course, Morgan. Your parents are with the rest of the Avengers on the common floor for dinner.”

“Thank you!” she states delightfully. Morgan then fixes her gaze on Peter, “So. Dinner.”

“What about it?” Peter says while fidgeting.

“Just be yourself. Dad likes you. Mom likes you. (Y/N) likes you. Uncle Stevie likes you. I like you, you buy me ice-cream!”

Peter smiles at your sister before picking her up and giving her a hug. “How old are you again,” he asks jokingly.

“I’m five!”

“So wise. I bet you learn it from your Dad.”

“I learn it from (Y/N) actually.”

The elevator doors slide open and the smell of food wafts into the air. The Avengers are seated around the table while your Dad and Uncle Steve bring barbequed food from the porch. Pepper catches sight of you first.

“(Y/N)! Morgan!” she says with a smile.

Peter lets her down and she runs into Pepper’s arms, “Hi Mommy! Peter bought me ice-cream!”

“Did he now? Before dinner?” she says amusedly as you and Peter approach her. You press a kiss to your stepmother’s cheek as she gives you a tight hug.

“Hi, Peter! How are you, love?”

“I’m good, thanks for letting me stay for dinner,” he says while giving her a hug. After they separate, Morgan immediately grasps his hand.

“Of course, you’re always welcome here.”

Pepper leads the two of you two your seats and you greet people as you walk. You wrap your arms around your Uncle Bucky and Uncle Sam to give them a hug as you walk by, giving them both a kiss on the cheeks.

“Well, is this that Parker kid you keep talking about?” Sam asks, turning around in his seat to face you and Peter. Bucky does as well, his metal arm glistening in the light.

“Yes, sir,” Peter answers, sticking out his hand to shake, “I’m Peter.”

Instead, Sam stands and bring Peter in for a bro-hug, Bucky following. “Don’t need to call us ‘sir,’ kid,” Sam says.

“(Y/N) talks about you enough, you’re a good kid. You have a bunch of spider-powers and you still think my metal arm is cool. I respect that,” Bucky says.

“You’re always welcome here,” your Aunt Natasha says from across the table.

He smiles at awe at all of them and you wrap your hand in his, “Thank you, all of you.”

“Alright hooligans, time to eat!” your Dad shouts, walking back in the room holding a bowl of mashed potatoes. Uncle Steve enters the room behind hip holding two bottles of wine.

“Hey, Queens. Nice of you to finally join us,” Steve says jokingly, and Peter smiles enthusiastically in return.

“Hey (Y/N),” your Dad calls out, “help me with these damn potatoes.”

“Language!” Morgan calls from her seat beside Pepper.

The entire room bursts into glee and you turn to Peter as you watch him laugh as well. Without warning, you lean forward and press a soft kiss on his lips. Not caring if your family watches, Peter smiles against the kiss. You hear your Dad groan from behind you.

The two of you pull away and Peter smiles at you breathlessly. “What?” he asks.

You smile at him, “Nothing, it just…you look so happy.”

He smiles at you again and wraps his arms around you, pulling you into a hug.

“All right, that’s enough you two. We’re hungry,” Tony calls from across the table.

“Hurry up please, I’m hungry!” Morgan whines.

The room laughs again as the two of you take a seat and start dinner. In hindsight, Peter isn’t sure why he was nervous meeting the rest of your family. If they are anything like you, Peter knows he would love them as much as he loves you.

taglist: @sebastianstanfoundmymixtape​ @accio-rogers​ @lionheo04 @stupendoussciencenaturepanda​

[et-lesailes]

safe place

pairing: chris evans x reader

word count: 3500 waow

summary: while clubbing in boston, you happen to see your favorite actor, none other than chris evans himself. unfortunately, his anxiety seems to be acting up again, and you can tell. you have a plan to help him out, and even though you know fully well you could embarrass yourself, you’ve gotta try it for him.

themes: this is just pretty chill n fluffy, highlights struggles with anxiety as well!

taglist: @viarogers , @evanstush , @chibi-crazy , @chalamet-evans , @world-of-losers , @songforhema, @sebabestianstan101 , @tanyam93 , @bval-1, @wonderwinchester , @little-miss-exo, @poerebel , @pining-and-tired , @gogomez-509 , @patzammit, @a-distantdreamer, @malthestorytellerblog, @rainbowkisses31, @jbug491writinghelp, @quaiderade

note: yeah kinda had sudden muse for this out of nowhere hence the longer word count, and i really luv discussing mental health so i thought it could be kind of interesting to talk about anxiety in this one. tbh i feel like it’s a lot of rambling so i apologize in advance! hope you all like it though!

It had been a while since you had been out with your girlfriends, but now that everyone was back home in Boston for at least some of the summer, it was a good chance to catch up with the friends you had made back in high school and reminisce on all of the good times. You had remained in Boston for work along with a couple of others, but everyone else had moved to all different parts of the country-- it seemed like a miracle in itself that everyone was able to make it back at the same time, but you had also all planned for this. To take the same week off from work, summer classes, whatever it was everyone was doing-- all to go back home and reconvene as one big group.

It was Friday night, and you were ready to hit the clubs. You inspected yourself in the mirror of your apartment where everyone had decided to gather to get ready, smiling satisfied at what you saw. A typical LBD was perfect for a night like this-- yes, it was cliche, but you didn’t care. You looked good. It was just the right amount of revealing, showcasing cleavage and legs that managed to look slightly lengthier thanks to the shoes you had picked for the night, and you had actually decided to do your hair for once. “Whew! You look sexy!” your friend Delia complimented, and you shot her a little grin. “Thanks, Del. So do you, red is really your color.”

After taking at least a couple more shots, you were all ready to go. Piling into an UberXL, you made your way deeper into the city where the best nightlife was, reveling in just the perfect amount of buzz and feeling ready for anything. You had been planning on dancing with a few guys tonight, maybe getting a little action in, but nothing serious. You definitely had not been expecting on meeting him.

_____________

As a group of young women, it was rather easy to get access to VIP. Besides, a majority of you had been brought up in Boston; by now, you knew people, had connections. You were currently lounging on a plush leather couch with a fifteen dollar drink in your hand, deciding to worry about the consequences the next day. Most of your friends were off dancing with other people they had befriended in the club, so it was just you and a couple others chilling, drinking, and talking-- and then you suddenly felt a rough nudge to your arm. “Ouch. Gabby, what the hell?” You wrinkled your nose though you were mostly exaggerating, looking to her with more amusement than anything. “What?” However, you were far more intrigued upon seeing the shock upon her face as she was staring at something a little further away. You followed her gaze, only seeing a crowd of people and iPhone camera flashes in the next couch area a few feet away. “What?” you repeated yourself, craning your neck trying to see what the big deal was. You could see a Red Sox cap sticking out from the center, but that was not anything interesting considering you were literally 3 miles away from Fenway.

And then the figure with the cap moved slightly, and you almost spit out your drink.

“It’s him, isn’t it?” Gabby seemed to have found her voice again, her eyes widening. “That’s Chris fuckin’ Evans. Oh my God, should we go say hi?” You still had your eyes on him, unable to help it-- God, he was even more gorgeous in person. You were about to agree instantly, the awe practically taking over your inebriated mind. Of course you wanted to say hi. You had loved Marvel for years now, and Captain America was your favorite Avenger. Not only that, but you had taken a liking to Chris’ acting because of his Marvel movies, which had encouraged you to watch several others. Living in Boston, it had always been a hope of yours that you would somehow run into him, but you never imagined it would actually happen. And now here he was, standing about five feet away from you-- sure, he was surrounded by girls, but you and Gabby could totally squeeze through.

But then you stopped to actually look at him. Not in the fangirling, celebrity idolizing way, but just to actually look at him. You could see on his face that he looked a little tired. Like his smile was forced. It did not seem disrespectful to you, but more so that he was… overwhelmed. He was still taking pictures with every single girl around him, even making effort in having conversation, but you caught every single sign. The frequent looking around, eyes not focused on one thing or one person. How he’d take off his hat and run his hand through his hair, but practically every ten seconds. The slight inward tug of his bottom lip, and while he made it look sexy, it was obvious he was not doing it to be seductive. You had listened to interviews of Chris speaking of his anxiety, and considering you had faced it before and had friends who did as well, it was hard not to see the signs. Now, if anything, you were getting a little pissed at these clubbers surrounding him, even though you were almost quite literally going to be one yourself.

“He seems a little on edge right now,” you noted, frowning slightly. “Maybe we should wait a bit, yeah? It’s not like VIP’s that crowded anyways, so hopefully once those girls leave him alone we can have a chance to just say hi or something.” Gabby sighed loudly but nodded her head. “Okay, okay, fine. But I’m gonna head downstairs to tell the girls. You stay here and keep an eye on him!”

“Wait--” you started to say, not wanting her to spread the news, but she was already leaving in a tipsy fit of giggles and excitement. You sighed and looked back towards him. He seemed even worse than before, and it had only been five seconds.

And then an idea came to you, and you nibbled on your lower lip wondering if you could really be that drunk or if this was just actually a brilliant plan. No. No, no. It was crazy. Absolutely insane, really, and you would look like a total idiot if it didn’t work. Which it most likely wouldn’t.

And so you downed the rest of your drink, barely fazed by the bitter taste of alcohol at this point as you stood up, taking a deep breath. Walking right over, you called out as loudly and confidently as possible over the music. “Chris? Chris! Chris, is that you? Oh my God, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you last! I can’t believe you’re back in town, this is great!”

Everyone immediately turned around to look at you, and you prayed that your cheeks weren’t burning. God, what had you done? How drunk could you be? Part of you wanted to simply turn around and run away, it wasn’t like you’d ever see him again. But you watched his reaction, hoping your own expression was visible enough to him to show that you were very clearly hinting at him to go along with it. At least, if anything, this pressure was helping in somewhat distracting you from how damn handsome he looked up close. How was it possible that the camera didn’t do him justice when he looked so hot in all of his photos?

Yeah, maybe you still were a little caught up in how handsome he was.

He seemed a little confused for a second, but suddenly, the corner of his lips tugged upwards. Your heart raced faster. Was he about to laugh at you, humiliate you in front of his fangirls? Or was your plan working? “Holy shit,” he stated, lightly pushing himself through the small crowd to step closer to you. “I didn’t know you were still in town, that’s crazy! Fuck, how long has it been? A year? Two? I’m so happy to see you!” You could not believe it; there were at least a million thoughts running through your mind right now. He actually went along with it. He’s standing right in front of me now. He’s smiling at me, having a direct conversation with me. And he swore, oh God, he sounds so hot swearing…

You snapped yourself back to reality. This was not about meeting your idol at the moment, this was about helping someone with what could turn into a straight up panic attack if this kept on any longer. You smiled back at him brightly before looking around at everyone, clearing your throat. He might have had to be polite because he had an image to protect, but you did not. “Excuse me, can you please leave us alone? Chris is one of my friends and I’d like to be able to catch up with him. And I’m pretty sure half of you aren’t even supposed to be up here…” you commented with a raised eyebrow, eyes glancing towards the lack of VIP wristbands on their arms. There was a lot of scoffing, huffing, and bitchy glares, but they eventually turned away, all furiously typing away on their phones most likely posting photos on every social media site possible. 

You exhaled just as he did, looking up at him and clearing your throat. “I can, uh, leave you alone if you want. I swear I didn’t just do this to be able to talk to you too, I just noticed you looked a little… stressed.” You paused before quickly adding, “Not that I don’t want to talk to you. I mean, fuck, I love your shit, you know? I think you’re a great actor. But you shouldn’t be swarmed by fans or anything. So, yeah, I can leave.” After that word vomit, you decided the only proper way to do said leaving was flinging yourself off the balcony. But instead, he just smiled wider as he looked down at you, shaking his head. “No, no. Of course not. I really appreciate what you did for me back there, trust me.” He tilted his head, seeming curious. “Did I really look stressed?” You blinked but nodded truthfully, biting your lip. “It just looked like a typical bout of anxiety to me, if we’re being honest,” you told him, then wondered if that was somehow offensive. “I mean, I know just because you mentioned having it doesn’t mean you’re just always some anxious person, and I’m not trying to assume anything either but I’ve also had experiences with it too so it’s kind of easier to catch signs, you know? But if I was wrong then I’m really so-”

“You weren’t wrong,” he cut you off, but he was still smiling kindly at you. Damn, his eyes are beautiful. “Yeah, I was definitely feeling a little crowded back there. So thank you. Really. What’s your name? Can I buy you a drink?” You looked up at him somewhat shocked. “Me? Oh, please, you really don’t have to do that,” you shook your head, not wanting him to feel obliged to you in any means whatsoever, even though a drink would Chris Evans would probably be all you needed to die happy. “I’m sure you have friends waiting on you or something, really, it’s okay. I genuinely just wanted to help.” He raised an eyebrow, slightly stepping closer and it was taking you everything not to creepily deeply inhale from how good his cologne smelt. “And I genuinely want to buy you a drink,” he spoke with an amused grin, eyes twinkling even more than before. “Please. Or if you don’t drink, I can at least get you a--”

“Oh I drink.” You cut him off way too fast, then realized afterwards. “Okay, but like, I don’t mean I’m an alcoholic or anything, I just--” you finally just sighed loudly, looking down for a few seconds before looking up at him, silently cursing your brain for not allowing you to sober up at least a little. Despite the fact that it was solely your fault for having decided to chug a freaking vodka sour. “Okay, yes. Let’s do this. But-- unfortunately my friend is about to bring my entire horde of friends up here, so let’s try a different bar in this club.” He was laughing as he listened to you, but it did not feel mean or embarrassing; he simply seemed like he was actually having a fun time with you, almost as if he were a friend. He then blinked, curious and slightly confused. “In this club? Is there another one, besides the VIP one and the general one downstairs?” You laughed softly, nodding your head. “You gotta come back to Boston more! They just opened a rooftop one upstairs that’s way less crowded, but it’s pretty exclusive.” You raised a brow, continuing, “But I’m pretty sure we won’t have any problem getting in...” He chuckled and it was a deep rumble of heaven, but you forced yourself not to be annoying or even more triggering towards his anxiety. “Well, that would have been nice to know earlier, but I’m glad I at least get to know it from you. Lead the way….” he trailed off, waiting for a name to use. You giggled lightly at the slight flirtation, in disbelief that it was even happening but of course introduced yourself, lightly taking his outstretched arm and walking towards the staircase to the roof.

_____________

“Sebastian said that to you? Oh my God, that’s hilarious.” You laughed upon listening to a story he was telling you from a drunken night he, Sebastian Stan, and Anthony Mackie had shared in LA, a beam spread across your entire face. “You guys seem like such cute friends.” He laughed and nodded his head fondly, looking out towards the view. “Eh, they’re alright, I suppose,” he spoke playfully, and you giggled for the hundredth time within that hour, looking out towards the city lights yourself. 

The two of you had been chatting away, the peaceful nighttime air and breeze definitely helping you in sobering up a little more. Not that you had been absolutely trashed before, but you wanted to be as present in this moment as possible. You knew something like this would never happen again, but you were trying not to think about that. You loved that he was also asking you questions about yourself, and seemed sincerely interested, at that. He was so easy to converse with, so relaxed and thoughtful, you felt bad knowing what his anxiety could do to such a kindhearted person like him. You were sure he would have loved to be like this with all of his fans, but he had even explained to you himself that it was difficult for him to be in front of big crowds. “I know that seems kinda ridiculous coming from a Hollywood actor,” he said with a sigh, chuckling lightly, “but I can’t control it, ya know? I wish I could.” You nodded sympathetically, unable to even imagine what it would be like having to deal with such conflict in his current occupation. 

“But what about you?” he asked, surprising you again even though he had shown genuine interest in you and your life this entire time. “You said you’ve dealt with anxiety before, too?” You nodded with a sigh, taking a sip of your drink. “It used to be pretty bad for me in high school. I guess high school’s just a rough time in general, though,” you said with a laugh, shrugging your shoulders. “I still get attacks every now and then, but I’ve learned how to cope with it much better. Definitely better than hormonal, puberty ridden me, anyways,” you chuckled. He laughed too and you tried to ignore how adorable the sound as well as his face was when he did so. “Mm. Definitely don’t wanna reminisce on those days,” he playfully shuddered before tilting his head with interest. “How do you cope with it?” You could not believe Chris Evans was here asking you for advice, but you pondered this over. “I guess this is common sense and easier said than done, but I think I’m just a lot better at being able to mentally step back from a situation and think it through more logically when I’m feeling anxious. I just go through a rundown in my head and remind myself that it’s okay. It also helps distracting myself from it by talking to friends, like to call my best friend if I’m feeling down or weird about something.” You told him, barely biting your lip-- you had never really talked about such topics with any guys before, and it was crazy how it felt so comfortable with a celebrity. 

“Yeah? Well maybe next time you could call me, too?” he asked, and you were practically baffled. “Like, on my cell phone?” you asked rather dumbly, then closed your eyes as you rubbed your forehead. “Okay, yeah. Duh. My cell phone. It’s not like I own a landline. Who really does anymore, besides old people. But I mean--” you stopped and collected your thoughts briefly before looking up at him. “You’d really feel comfortable giving me your phone number? And you actually want to… talk?” He laughed again, even tilting his head back slightly before nodding with a wide smile. “Yeah. I mean, hell yeah, I do. I’ve had a lot of fun talking to you tonight.” He slid his phone out of his pocket, unlocking and handing it to you with a hopeful grin. You slowly smiled, nodding and taking it from him to input your number. Much to your delight, when handing it back he went straight to sending you a message, looking to you as he arched an eyebrow playfully. “You have my number now, right? You didn’t give me a fake one?” You blinked before laughing loudly, taking your phone out of your little crossbody bag. “Why the hell would I give you, of all people, a fake number?” You waved your phone at him to show him that the message had come up on the device, then looked down at it to save his number. You had assumed he just sent a “hi” or an emoji, something simple-- but you paused as your eyes scanned the words on your screen.

“Go on a date with me.”

You stared at it somewhat dumbfounded before looking up at him, knowing your cheeks were slightly red. “A-a date?” you asked; sure, the two of you had been hitting it off and flirting a little, but you had kept reminding yourself throughout the conversation that he was a celebrity. He probably had tons of girls in his life, you were someone who could just be an acquaintance. If that. But now he wanted to take you out on an actual date?

“I’m in Boston for the next few months. And I know that’s not permanent, but I really, really liked talking to you tonight, and.. I want to see if this works. Please.” You almost didn’t reply due to being too shocked that he was begging you to date him, but you quickly cleared your throat. “I’d… yeah, I’d really like that.” You admitted, feeling excited and terrified all at once. But that was how dating should feel, right? “But, um, how does this… work? Do you, like, not want me to tell anyone…? Do I not save your number at all, in case anyone hacks into my phone? Or should I just save you as a fake--”

“Okay, okay, don’t go all secret agent on me.” He interrupted you with a loud laugh, eyes twinkling fondly as he gazed down at you. “Honestly… I trust you. Call it a gut instinct, but I do. So tell whoever you’d like, or don’t. The only thing I’m more worried about is your own privacy, because it most likely won’t be respected if we’re not careful about this. But when it comes to people knowing about me taking you out, that’s fine with me. I’m allowed to have a love life, aren’t I?” he said with a smile, then glanced down at his phone. “Oh, shit. I need to go, my brother’s waiting for me. And I’m sure your friends are, too.” He looked at you and chuckled softly, probably at the disappointed face you wore. “Hey. Text me tonight, alright? Promise.” You smiled at that, arching an eyebrow playfully, teasing, “Wow, you’re already pretty needy, huh? Yikes, what am I agreeing to here?” He blinked before scoffing, though clearly amused. “You know what? Yeah, I am. And it’s your fault.” 

He suddenly took a light hold of your waist, gently pulling you closer to him and leaned down. You widened your eyes slightly but did not move away, looking up into his beautiful blue orbs instead silently confirming that you were alright with what was about to happen. 

You would remember that kiss for the rest of your damn life-- you were sure of it. 

[calpalirwin]

Phone Screens

Summary: Online relationships don’t make the feelings any less real

A/N: Wanted to try my hand at a dialogue heavy piece. Let me know how I did.

Content: Friends to lovers? I dunno.

Word Count: 3.3k

And away, and away we go!

__

drumming_heartbeats: Hey…

jetblackrose: Hi!

drumming_heartbeats: Saw your post about how you met Ashton. That musta been cool, yeah?

jetblackrose: Oh, it was hella cool! I was like super fuckin nervous and he was so chill about it. Honestly probably shouldn’t have fangirled as hard as I did lol. 

drumming_heartbeats: Lol, why do you say that?

jetblackrose: I’ve only been a fan for like less than a year lol. I know people have been a fan for years and still haven’t gotten the chance to meet him, or any of the other members so yeah. Feel like I haven’t done my time yet or something. It’s stupid.

drumming_heartbeats: Nah, that’s not stupid. That’s actually really cool. Your picture with him is fucking adorable btw.

jetblackrose: Aw thanks, lovely! How’d you become a 5sos fan? Assuming you are one?

drumming_heartbeats: Lol! My friend got me into them. But yeah, been a fan for awhile. I’m Tom btw. 

jetblackrose: Ooo a boy fan! Sick! Nice to meet ya Tom. I’m Gen. 

drumming_heartbeats: Shocking I know, but us guy fans do exist, lol. So I take it from the looks of your blog Ash is your favorite?

jetblackrose: I mean… I love them all equally for different reasons. But yeah, Ash is my fav. Something about that cheeky lil grin he does. And he’s so… I dunno, more mindful than the rest? Like they’re all dorks, don’t get me wrong. But he also gives off an old soul vibe I really connect with too if that makes sense. 

jetblackrose: Lol, sorry for rambling. 

drumming_heartbeats: Nah, it’s cute. And I totally get it. He definitely does seem to have that wisdom that comes from going through some heavy shit. 

jetblackrose: Rightfully so. I mean, he seems pretty open about the shit he’s gone through. And the fact that it’s only seemed to make him a kinder person is part of why I love him so much. 

drumming_heartbeats: Yeah. Like it’s very easy to let the demons win and give into the bitterness of it all. But he seems like a happy dude, so good for him. 

jetblackrose: Good for him indeed! Like all I want in life is for that man to be happy. Like, we all deserve that, but him especially. God, that sounds dumb doesn’t it? That I can feel so attached to someone I maybe talked to for like 5 minutes. Like I know realistically he will probably never recall our encounter or think twice about it. But that doesn’t mean I can’t wish him happiness all the same I suppose. Sorry… rambling again. 

drumming_heartbeats: Nah, that’s not dumb at all. If anything I think it shows how caring of a person you are. Which the world could use a lot more of.

jetblackrose: Lol, thanks! You’re sweet to think that. But it’s definitely dumb lol. 

drumming_heartbeats: Not even the slightest. Fuck, I’m about to pass out. Talk later?

jetblackrose: You know where to find me. Night-o!

~~~

jetblackrose: Hey, Tom?

drumming_heartbeats: Yeah?

jetblackrose: Probably a dumb question but where do you live? I feel like I keep you up hella late. 

drumming_heartbeats: I live in LA.

jetblackrose: Shit, no way?!

drumming_heartbeats: Yeah, lol. I mean, I travel a lot for work but yeah. LA’s home. 

jetblackrose: Oh that’s awesome! Are you traveling now?

drumming_heartbeats: Nah, I’m home for the time being. Resting up. Gonna be a busy year.

jetblackrose: Yeah? Hopefully good busy.

drumming_heartbeats: Oh, yeah. It’s always good busy. Hey, did you see the new stuff 5sos put up?

jetblackrose: Yes! Holy shit! Are they TRYING to kill their fans or what?!

drumming_heartbeats: Lmao right? Like fuck, bruh…

jetblackrose: More like fuck me please, lmao! Quick question! And you don’t have to answer if this is way too personal. But are you gay?

drumming_heartbeats: No? I mean, I don’t have a fragile male ego. I can freely admit that men are handsome. But I’m not like… I dunno. If anything I’d probably say I’m bi. I just… labels are confusing.

jetblackrose: Yeah, I feel you on that. Like I just love who I love. I don’t feel the need to explain it much beyond that.

drumming_heartbeats: Exactly! I mean, but I’ve only ever had female partners so… the assumption is straight I suppose.

jetblackrose: I’ve only had male partners. Well, I’ve kissed girls. But I’ve only ever dated dudes.

drumming_heartbeats: Oh, I bet your bf loves that, huh?

jetblackrose: I wouldn’t know. I frequently had my attraction to women from the dudes I date so I don’t get the creeps.

drumming_heartbeats: So no bf…?

jetblackrose: Lol, that’s what you get out of that? You’re such a dude! But nope. No bf.

drumming_heartbeats: Damn, that sucks.

jetblackrose: Why do you have a gf?

drumming_heartbeats: No. I did. But we broke up like a few months ago.

jetblackrose: Aw, sorry to hear that.

drumming_heartbeats: Lol, I think you’re the first person to say that. Normally people are sorry to hear I’m IN a relationship, not out of one.

jetblackrose: Wtf? That’s so dumb, lol. You’re my friend, Tom. I want you to be happy.

drumming_heartbeats: Aw, I’m your friend?

jetblackrose: Yes…? I mean, we’ve talked all day every day for like what? A month? I swear I talk more with you than my real life friends lol.

drumming_heartbeats: Aw, that’s so cute! You’re my friend too, btw. If that wasn’t obvious. I really like talking with you.

jetblackrose: I really like talking with you too! Like, I know it’s probably really stupid to say, but I never really got how people can become friends online. Like how can you feel connected to someone you never actually met, you know? But talking with you, I get it. I’m glad you messaged me.

drumming_heartbeats: Aw, Gen baby, you’re gonna make me blush! That’s so fuckin’ cute. I’m glad I messaged you too. You feel more real to me than the friends I actually see lol.

jetblackrose: Looks like we’re both gonna make the other blush… Dude! Honestly, I think it’s because we can only talk. Like, we can’t actually see each other, so we have to rely on these messages. And it’s a lot easier for me to not be shy when I message someone. Because I can delete what sounds stupid!

drumming_heartbeats: Lmao! Nothing you say could ever be stupid.

jetblackrose: You say that now… Trust me though, in person I’m a fuckin nervous idiot. Like I talk too fast or not at all.

drumming_heartbeats: I bet you’re fuckin cute in person.

jetblackrose: Lmao, are you hitting on me?

drumming_heartbeats: Too much?

jetblackrose: Nah, lol. I don’t scare easy. I just bet you’re way cuter.

drumming_heartbeats: Not even! Have you SEEN your face?

jetblackrose: You mean this face? *picture*

drumming_heartbeats: Damn, baby!

jetblackrose: Fuck… is it really dumb of me to like you calling me “baby” so much?

drumming_heartbeats: I mean… I don’t think so? Like, I would hope it doesn’t bother you.

jetblackrose: No, it doesn’t bother me. I like it.

drumming_heartbeats: Cool! Cuz I like calling you that.

~~~

drumming_heartbeats: Is this your king? *picture*

jetblackrose: My brain literally went “oh daddy”... I DON”T EVEN HAVE A DADDY KINK! Ashton Irwin is going to be the death of me, watch. On my tombstone it’ll read “Gen. Killed by Ash’s hotness”

drumming_heartbeats: Omg lol!

jetblackrose: Too dramatic?

drumming_heartbeats: I mean…? Maybe?

jetblackrose: Maybe? Nah. What would be dramatic would be me saying how badly I want those arms of his wrapped around me. Like cuddling me. Choking me. I don’t even care. But those hands? I needs them on me!

drumming_heartbeats: You’re right. That would be dramatic lol.

jetblackrose: Like fuck… I bet those are the most restless set of hands. Like he’s a drummer. So like he’s probably constantly moving his fingers. Is it too much to ask that he moves those fingers across my skin? Like… bruh…

drumming_heartbeats: Omg, I love you dude.

jetblackrose: You what…?

drumming_heartbeats: Shit… I mean like… uh…

jetblackrose: Tom, relax. I love you too.

drumming_heartbeats: Shit, for real?

jetblackrose: Yeah. And… that kinda scares me? Like I don’t actually know you. I mean, I know you. We’ve talked every day for the past 3 months. But… I didn’t think I could ever feel this strongly for someone I’ve never physically met. Like, granted, it’s a very strong friendship love. But, I… I dunno if I should admit this… fuck it. I think I could actually love you. Like in a romantic way. Hell, I think I already do.

drumming_heartbeats: Omg, you’re the fuckin cutest!

jetblackrose: I promise I’m not lol. I just… fuck dude, I dunno. I just love you, alright? And it fuckin blows my mind that we live in the same area basically and haven’t met. Because I really wanna fuckin meet you. But also not. Cuz like I don’t want to ruin this. And that’s such a fuckin cop out response. But like I am genuinely terrified that if we met you won’t like what you see.

drumming_heartbeats: Why wouldn’t I like what I see?

jetblackrose: Because I can send you a message without stuttering like a damn fool. I can stare at my phone until I find the perfect way to phrase things. I can’t do that in person. In person I’ll probably just stare blankly at you and make weird sounds.

drumming_heartbeats: I would still love you, Gen. I’m not much better. I’m probably worse lmao.

jetblackrose: You’re sweet to say that. But I’m a very what you see if what you get type. I’m either hyper, loud, and obnoxious or I’m closed off and shy. I fluctuate from wanting to go on all the adventures to wanting to stay curled up in bed all day. It’s why I end up with failed relationships. No one can handle the wild mood swings. Which is fine. I get it. It sucks. But I get wanting a partner who can navigate middle ground.

drumming_heartbeats: Well all those guys are idiots because that sounds fuckin perfect to me. Like I’m a busy guy. And as much as I’m down for adventures, I’m also down to just do fuckin nothing. Like just being with the girl is good enough, you get me? An adventure can be as easy as building a fort and watching movies all day.

jetblackrose: YES! Like fuck, that’s all I want. Someone who gets it. Someone like you.

drumming_heartbeats: Good thing you have me then.

jetblackrose: Good fuckin thing indeed! God, I’m so glad you messaged me.

drumming_heartbeats: Me too.

~~~

jetblackrose: Fuck, I’m so stressed!

drumming_heartbeats: Aw, what’s wrong baby?

jetblackrose: Just lack of motivation. Like I need a mental health day. Only there’s too much to do that I can’t actually do that. Like if I could pause time, that’d be fuckin great.

drumming_heartbeats: Aw, sorry baby.

jetblackrose: It’s my own dumb fault. I know I have to get stuff done and I just… feel so uninspired I guess? Like I don’t want to do work. I want to do things that bring me joy.

drumming_heartbeats: Like Ashton lmao?

jetblackrose: Haha, very funny. But yes. And no. Like fuck I just wanna talk with you all day and bingewatch tv shows.

drumming_heartbeats: Yeah, I get that. But you’ll get through this. You’re strong. Love you, baby.

jetblackrose: Aw! I love you too, baby! Fuck, I can’t wait for my vacation in a few weeks.

drumming_heartbeats: Going anywhere or just like a good chunk of time off from responsibilities?

jetblackrose: Just a good chunk of time off. If I go anywhere it’ll probably just be around here. See some friends. Maybe go to the beach to get some use of the new swimsuit I bought.

drumming_heartbeats: I’m your friend. Can you see me?

jetblackrose: You wanna see me? You want to experience all this awkward in real time? Are you feeling okay?

drumming_heartbeats: I’m serious lol. Why not? We’ve been friends for how long now?

jetblackrose: Like 6 months? Holy shit.

drumming_heartbeats: So is that a yes? Can we meet?

jetblackrose: I thought you’re traveling for work?

drumming_heartbeats: My job is sending me off in spurts lol. Like I’m actually coming home this week. And then I’ll be home for like a month.

jetblackrose: And you want to see me on your time off?

drumming_heartbeats: Why not? Don’t you want to meet me?

jetblackrose: Of course I want to meet you Tom! I love you, you goof. But I’m nervous.

drumming_heartbeats: Lol, why?

jetblackrose: Because I love you this much with having never seen your face or heard your voice. I don’t want to see you and then have to say goodbye. If I get the chance to actually be in your arms, I’m not gonna want to leave.

drumming_heartbeats: Lol, good. Cuz I don’t think I’ll let you go.

jetblackrose: Okay, seriously, I could not love you more. Like are you trying to make me a flustered idiot?

drumming_heartbeats: Is it working lol?

jetblackrose: Yes! Okay, can I ask you a question?

drumming_heartbeats: You can ask me anything.

jetblackrose: Would… fuck I dunno why I’m so nervous asking you this… It’s no secret that we clearly care for each other. It’s also no secret that we love each other. But… is this all in my head? Am I confessing all these feelings and you don’t actually feel the same way in return?

drumming_heartbeats: Gen, baby, I’m serious. I… I want to meet you because I think we can be more than this. More than what we are here through these messages. Not that I don’t love our conversations. Not that I don’t want to stop having them. Because I love talking with you. I wouldn’t trade this relationship we’ve built for anything. But I want to keep building it. And I want to meet you to do that. If you don’t want the same, that’s fine. But that’s where I’m at.

jetblackrose: No. I want to meet you too. I’m just scared.

drumming_heartbeats: Don’t be scared. I love you, Gen.

jetblackrose: I love you too, Tom.

~~~

Gen sat in her car, frowning. Seven months of talking and she was finally about to see Tom. They had agreed on going to the beach as they both felt relaxed by water. But she was nervous all the same. Not only was she seeing her best online friend she had admitted to having a massive crush on, he was also going to see a lot of her skin, as she couldn’t exactly hide under jeans and hoodies at the beach. Not that she wanted to hide from Tom. She was just scared. She flipped down the visor and checked herself over in the small mirror. Then, she took a deep breath to steady herself and got out of the car.

She walked along the pier, the ocean breeze stirring her hair and bringing forth a calm steadiness within her. She leaned her arms on the wooden banister and waited. Her nerves had caused her to arrive a half hour early.

The water swirling around beneath her was hypnotizing. She wasn’t aware of time passing until a voice was calling out, “Gen?” followed by a small tap on her shoulder.

She turned, a smile on her face, nervous flutters in her stomach. As her eyes scanned up at her friend, her mouth dropped open.

The man giggled, a dimple indenting his cheek. “Surprise?”

Her eyes flashed behind her sunglasses and then her hands were shoving his chest. “YOU LIAR!” she shouted at him, her voice shrill.

“Whoa,” he said, grabbing her hands as she continued to push him. “Hey, I didn’t lie!”

“Yes you did! You said your name was Tom!” She ripped her hands out of his grasp, her skin lighting up in memorization at his touch.

“Clever, eh?” he smirked.

“Clever?! Lying to me was clever?!”

“I didn’t lie!”

“You lied about who you were, Tom! What else did you lie about?!”

“Just my name. I promise. And you don’t have to keep calling me Tom.”

Her voice shot down to a barely audible whisper as she told him in a horrified tone, “If I don’t call you Tom, then this becomes real. Really real. And then I’m the lunatic who just shoved my favorite drummer from my favorite band while screaming that he was a liar. And… STOP SMIRKING, ASHTON!”

Ashton held up his hands defensively and took a step backwards. “Alright, alright! I’m sorry, okay?”

“Sorry about what? Sorry you lied to me? Or sorry I’m mad about it?”

“Sorry you’re mad about it. I had to lie.”

“No. No, you really didn’t.”

“Yes, I did.”

“BULLSHIT!”

“Do you see how you’re acting right now?! This is why I lied! Can you imagine if we had done this over messages?”

“I wouldn’t have believed you.”

“Exactly.”

“Your friend got you into 5sos… fucking… UGH!”

“Yeah, that was pretty clever wasn’t it?”

“I cannot FUCKING BELIEVE YOU!”

“Well, will you let me explain then?”

“Please. Wordsmith your way outta this one. Be my guest.”

“Okay,” he huffed, pushing his back hair out of his face. “I liked you the night of the party. When we actually met.”

“Oh, my God… my life is a fan fic…” Gen interrupted, eyes wide as her brain played catch up, still not believing this was actually real.

“I have to be careful, okay. It’s not that I wanted to lie to you about who I was. Not that I was. Everything I told you was real. My feelings are real.”

“Jesus, I said so many fuckin’ things to you. So. Many! I said you gave me a daddy kink! I said I wanted you to choke me! I said those things to someone I thought was a friend!”

“I am your friend!”

“No! You’re ASHTON FUCKIN’ IRWIN! And I’m… Gen,” she admitted, sadly. “I’m right where I was seven months ago. Meeting my idol and trying not to read too much into it. Only it’s worse. Because you’re aware of things I never would have told you had I known you were actually you. Please excuse me while I go die in a hole. Matter of fact, I’m just…” She walked towards the edge of the pier, placing her hands on the banister and pretended to lift herself up.

“Stop that,” Ashton scolded with a chuckle, pulling her off the railing and into his arms.

She froze, her body going rigid. “Let go of me.”

“No. I said if I got you in my arms I wouldn’t let go. And you said you wouldn’t want to leave. Now who’s the liar?”

“It’s still you by a fuckin’ mile!”

He let go but only to spin her around before his hands were gripping her shoulders. “I’m sorry if I upset you by keeping my identity a secret. I get if that changes things for you. But it doesn’t for me. I still feel the same way I felt towards you today that I did yesterday. And I’ll still feel the same way about you tomorrow and for the rest of my life.”

“Y-you do?” she asked, her eyes wide in disbelief.

“Yes. Maybe I went about this the wrong way. Maybe I should’ve asked for your number that night instead of waiting for the picture of us to surface so I could find you that way. Maybe I shouldn’t have hidden my identity. But I did what I thought was best. I don’t like being vulnerable. I don’t like putting myself out there. So I protected myself the best way I knew how. You still got the real me, though.”

She stared up at him. As much as she wanted to be mad at him, she couldn’t. He was still her online best friend, and she was still in love with him.

“Look,” he kept talking. “Maybe we walk off this pier and never speak again. Or, maybe you trust me and yourself. Maybe we make it. Maybe we don’t. But either way, neither one of us is walking off this pier the same person we were before.”

__

Tag List

@goeatsomelife​ @flameraine​ @cashtonasff5sos​ @here-for-the-uproars​ @cxddlyash​ @1-irwin-94​ @baldcalum​ @sparkling-chaos​ @tea4sykes​ @youngblood199456​ @5-seconds-of-obsession​ @gosh-im-short​

[gothambatsnews]

[Podcast 7: Clubs, Relationships, and Jason Todd]

[“Spoiler Alert Podcast” theme song plays. There are three taps of the mic before Stephanie clears her throat.]

[Stephanie:] “Goooood afternoon, ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to Spoiler Alert Podcast, your weekly dose of tea and drama from Gotham High. I am your host, Stephanie Brown! Joining me today, we have-”

[Jason:] “Me! The one and only, Jason Todd. Wink.”

[Stephanie:] “...Did you really just say ‘wink’?”

[Dick:] “I cringed. I cringed so badly.”

[Jason:] “Shut the fuck up.”

[Dick:] “Make m-”

[Stephanie:] “OKAY! Hahah, can we get on with it? Thank you. So yes, joining me is Jason Todd and Dick Grayson.”

[Jason:] “Yo.”

[Dick:] “Hey!”

[Stephanie:] “And today, actually, this episode will be centered around an ask we got from an anonymous, sent from our Tumblr inbox. Thanks Anon!”

[Jason:] “And this anon actually wanted me to appear much more frequently and even though I absolutely, 100% annoy your usual hosts-”

[Stephanie:] “YEP.”

[Dick:] [at the same time with Stephanie] “You’re not wrong.”

[Jason:] “-I’ll try to be a more frequent guest.”

[Stephanie:] “He winked by the way. There’s no camera, dumbass, they can’t hear you.”

[Jason:] “Ah. I see this is already a lost cause.”

[Dick:] “Thanks, Jay. Really.”

[Stephanie:] “Riiight. So, Anonymous asked, ‘What clubs are the Wayne kids in? Tim’s in Paranormal, Jason’s in Drama, what else? What about Cassandra and Damian? And Babs?’ Heh, I love how they didn’t mention Dick.”

[Jason snickers.]

[Dick:] “It’s okay, I’ll cry about it later.”

[Stephanie:] “Also, ‘Who’s dating who in the zoo and what do they identify as?’ We will cover moooooost of what the ask.. Erm, asks us about.”

[Dick:] “We actually asked them the question Anon’s ask was talking about. So these papers-” [sound of papers wiggling] “Have most of our answers.”

[Stephanie:] “Yep!”

[Jason:] “Starting off with Tim then? Since his name was the first to be mentioned? Tim’s answer: ‘Hey, Anon. Thanks for the question. I’m the captain of the Decathlon team, we actually have a match coming up next week at Brentwood Academy, so please make sure to support us.’ You know, if I would have known his answer would literally just be an entire half page of advertisement for his clubs, I would done the same.”

[Dick:] “No one wants to hear you go off about your Drama club, Jason.”

[Jason:] “It’s in the notes! THE NOTES!” [sound of papers shuffling] “And the ask! Anon asked!! And I shall give!”

[Dick:] “You LITERALLY go on and on and on and on-”

[Stephanie:] “And ooon and ooon and ooon-”

[Dick:] “And on about it for hours when you get the chance.”

[Jason:] “Speak for yourself, bitch, you do the same thing when someone asks you about Babs.”

[Stephanie:] “You know, I’m really gonna have to put ‘beep’s on future eps on top of every curse word you say, Jay.”

[Jason:] “Oh, so right now won’t count?”

[Stephanie:] “Wait no, THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT!”

[Jason:] [Taking a deep breath] “FUC-” [His mic gets turned off.]

[Stephanie:] “Can we continue? Please?”

[Jason:] [Heard by Dick’s mic.] “I was kidding, it was a prank, please put my mic back on.”

[Stephanie:] “If you try to do that again, I’m kicking you out of this podcast forever.”

[There’s a click sound.]

[Jason:] [Clearer, back on his mic] “Whatever, fine.”

[Dick:] “...Are you both done yet?”

[Stephanie:] [Sighs.] “Yes.”

[Dick:] “I’m gonna keep going. Tim’s also part of Band during school hours, he plays clarinet. But during after school, he’s in Symphony Orchestra with Cassandra, who plays violin. Jason, isn’t he also in the Robotics club with you?”

[Jason:] “Yeah, we’ve been working on a robot together for next month’s tournament. We’re certain Jay Jr. can win the trophy.”

[Stephanie:] “You called your robot ‘Jay Jr’?”

[Jason:] “It’s better than TD-1020. He was going for more Star Wars.”

[Dick:] “TD-1020?”

[Jason:] “TD for Tim Drake and 1020 ‘cause there’s 26 letters in the alphabet and he put my name as numbers.”

[Dick:] “Okay, but that’s cool.”

[Jason:] “I like Jay Jr better. But I’m also in the Debate team. I like to yell and tell people that they’re wrong.”

[Stephanie:] “Ah yes, you do that really well.”

[Jason:] “Right? Who’s next?”

[Stephanie:] “Damian. He’s in a lot of clubs, actually, but sometimes he hangs out in some clubs for the hell of it. Like Journalism. Dick’s in there too.”

[Dick:] “Not that the Anon cares, or anything.”

[Jason:] “Dick, could you get any more salty?”

[Stephanie snickers.]

[Dick:] “Nah, I can’t. That’s your specialty.”

[Jason:] “Yeah, but like, today it’s like you woke up on the wrong side of the bed and stepped on a wet puddle with your sock.”

[Dick:] “...THEY CANCELLED MY DRAMA, OKAY?” [Despair.]

[Stephanie:] “Aaand there it is.”

[Dick:] “WE WERE SO CLOSE. SO SO CLOSE. BENDITA WAS GONNA CHOOSE ROGELIO, I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU GUYS SAY-”

[Jason:] “Oh my god, yeah, we know. We know, you tell us about it every time.”

[Stephanie:] “You know, you never really say what drama it is.”

[Jason:] “Steph, please don’t-”

[Dick:] “IT’S FROM-” [his mic gets turned off, but he can till be heard to the side, picked up by Jason’s mic.]

[Jason:] “This is why we don’t ask Dick why he’s not okay most of the time. Can we keep going? Please? Before I hit him with his own mic?”

[Stephanie:] “Yeah. Damian. But the clubs he’s actually in is the Art Club, Astronomy, Sword Fighting, and sometimes he sneaks into Cooking Club, which I’m actually part of.”

[Jason:] “The best part is, he doesn’t even go here. They accepted him into several clubs. I think he scares them.”

[Dick’s still being heard ranting about his drama in the background, but it’s not actually intelligible when Stephanie and Jason talk over him.]

[Stephanie:] “I thought he hacked his way into the system and put his name into the roster?”

[Jason:] “That was at first, yeah. But you know, every time they tried to change the system and take him out, he’s always getting back in.”

[Stephanie:] “So they gave in and gave the brat what he wanted, huh.”

[Jason:] “Careful, he might hear you.”

[Stephanie:] “GOOD. LET HIM. HE STOLE MY LUNCH.”

[Jason:] “Waffles, again?”

[Stephanie:] “As if I eat anything else.”

[Jason:] “Should we add Dick back?”

[Dick’s just sobbing in the background now.]

[Stephanie:] “Give him a few seconds.” [She sounds farther from the mic.] “Here Dick, take a tissue.”

[Dick:] [Sounds farther too] “I just want them both to be happy.”

[Stephanie:] “I know, Dick.”

[Dick:] “And get married and give Bendita the best wedding.”

[Stephanie:] “I know, Dick. Pull yourself together, we’re on air right now.”

[Dick:] “Okay.”

[A click can be heard.]

[Stephanie:] “Dick’s back.”

[Dick:] [sniffles] “Hey.”

[Jason:] “...Are you good, dude?”

[Dick:] “Yeah, yeah. Where’d you guys leave off?”

[Stephanie:] “We left off with Damian. We were gonna do Babs next.”

[Dick:] “Right, okay. So she’s not in many clubs. She’s in the Writing club and the Programming club, but she’s saying that next year they probably won’t have a Programming club next year. There’s not many people that join anymore.”

[Jason:] “We’ve got lovely listeners here. You don’t have to be tech savvy to learn how to program, right?”

[Dick:] “Nope. She helps people who don’t really know what they’re doing. It’s for everyone to learn. And it’s not too late to join!”

[Stephanie:] “Moving on. We’ve got Cass. Ah! She’s in the orchestra as first chair violin!” [She sounds chirpy.] “And she’s doing so well! She’s also in cross country, but I think it’s more fun to watch her in ballet when she performs. She looks so so pretty.”

[Some silence from the boys.]

[Jason:] “Stephanie, are you dating Cass?”

[A beat of silence.]

[Stephanie:] “Nonsense. She’s my best friend!”

[Dick:] “Uhh, Stephanie? You hesitated.”

[Jason:] “Holy shit, you’re dating Cassandra.”

[Stephanie:] “I’m not dating anyone! You can’t prove tha!”

[Jason:] “IT’S ALL OVER YOUR FACE!”

[Stephanie:] “AREN’T YOU DATING ROY?”

[Jason:] “You’re dating Cassandra, holy shit.”

[Dick:] “I always knew something was up between you both. Even Babs had suspicions.”

[Stephanie:] “I’m not! What about Jay, he never denied he’s dating Roy!”

[Jason:] “Oh I’m not. I mean I’m bi, yeah, but Roy’s like a brother.”

[Dick:] “I thought you were hanging out with that guy from Liverpool?”

[Jason:] “John Constantine? Yeah, why? He can hold his booze pretty well, ‘course.”

[Stephanie:] “And?”

[Jason:] “‘And’ what?’

[Stephanie:] “That’s it?”

[Jason:] “Yes? Aaand that he’s fun to hang out with? What, you think I’m just gonna drop my pants for any guy cute guy or girl who comes along?”

[Some silence.]

[Dick:] “But you’re single right now right?”

[Jason:] “Yeah?”

[Stephanie:] “YOU HEARD IT HERE FOLKS, COME GET YA’LL JAY JUICE.”

[Dick:] “You do realize that’ll just attract the attention of that girl from his fanclub? The one that snuck in our basement twice already?”

[Jason:] “KATHY IF YOU HEAR THIS, CEASE AND DESIST OR I WILL BE FORCED TO GET A FUCKING RESTRAINING ORDER I SWEAR-”

[Stephanie:] “Jason, jesus, calm down.”

[Dick:] “Yeah, besides restraining orders don’t seem to do anything to them. Remember that guy with Cass?”

[Stephanie:] “Ah. Yes. Andrew?” [Tone sounds cold.]

[Dick:] “Yeah, him.” [Sounds like he’s highly unamused]

[Jason:] “Ah right. He snuck in once and Titus almost bit his di-”

[Stephanie:] “Anywaaay…”

[Dick:] “Right, we’re getting sidetracked, again.”

[Jason:] “What about Tim? So what, is he with Cassie S. or Kon or what?”

[Stephanie:] “Jeezus, please. That’s like an entire podcast in itself, there’s so much going on with that. But right now he’s with Kon.”

[Jason:] “So what about you, Dick? If Stephanie’s in no relationship, then there’s on point in talking about her.”

[Stephanie:] “Thanks, asshole.”

[Dick:] “Uhh, Babs and I are good.”

[Stephanie:] “Awesome, that wraps it up for Dick’s relationship.

[Dick:] “Wai-”

[Jason:] “Daaaamian’s not really interested in any of this right now, honestly. I mean, he’s made new friends with a girl in his middle school.”

[Dick:] “Maps, right?”

[Stephanie:] “Cute kid. Weird name. I know she listens to the podcast. Hi Maps! Hey, when you get here next year, join Orchestra, I know you play violin. Cassandra’s a great teacher. She’s amazing and talented and-”

[Jason:] [Whispers into the mic.] “And she says she’s not dating her.”

[Stephanie:] “What’d you say?”

[Jason:] “I said you smell like vinegar.” 

[Stephanie:] [A beat of silence] “...No I don’t?”

[Dick:] “Sidetracked again, please. Plus he has Jon, but Jon’s still in elementary. But he is gonna promote to middle school, he’s so grown up now.”

[Jason:] “Please don’t cry again, seriously.”

[Stephanie:] “Oookay I think I’m just about to end this podcast, we went over our limit for today and Jason, we’re late to Drama.”

[Jason:] “Oh shit.”

[Stephanie:] “Anyways, this podcast is brought to you by the ASB, the Associated Student Body. Theeeey sell hot cocoas in the mornings because it’s cold and they care about us.”

[Dick:] “And if you ask, they put little marshmallows in there!”

[Jason:] “That and they’re gonna be selling Sadie Hawkins Dance tickets soon, so make sure to save up for that.”

[Stephanie:] “Also, we’d be more than happy to have guests for our podcast, such as Jason, just go on ahead and drop us an ask or a message, or drop little notes in our lockers to request someone, and we’ll oblige.”

[Dick:] “After all, we’re a student-made podcast, so we’ll student-give.”

[Jason:] “Nice. And to the anon that requested me-” [a kiss sound] “That’s for you.”

[Stephanie:] “Yeck.”

[Dick:] “This has been Dick Grayson-”

[Jason:] “Jason, the Glorious, Todd-”

[Stephanie:] “-AND Stephanie Brown. As always, love and sparkles.”

[End of Episode 7.]

[this-lioness]

Feeling a little overwhelmed.

The kitchen cabinet doors still need to be done.  This is taking a lot of time because they have to dry pretty thoroughly between each coat, and each one needs 3 coats + a light touch-up.  Then we still have to do the edges. This is not helped by the fact that Marc didn’t sand the primer coat before he started painting the first side (which was supposed to be the “front” of the doors), meaning that with each coat of paint on top all the goopy drips and imperfections became more and more obvious.  So now I’m going super slow on the other side so that it will be nice enough to be the display side.  I’m not mad I’m just disappointed.

We have a gala coming up in two weeks, and I still haven’t sat down to design / paint the mask I’m supposed to use, nor put together any of the little details. We are doing a 5k in a couple more weeks that we are only now starting to “train” for.  I’m less stressed about this than it sounds, but it’s still frustrating.

Both of my parents have birthdays coming up, and an anniversary.  And my stepfather really wants to get back out to the lake in time to see the colors in what he personally considers “prime time”, and I don’t know what the fuck he’s really looking for, because yesterday everything looked beautiful to me? And if I take him too soon he’s going to be disappointed, but if I take him too late he’s also going to be disappointed, and my mother is just 100% disappointed with everything 100% of the time.

Marc asked me about five times what I was planning on doing for my Halloween costume until I was finally like, “I’m just going to wear the “candy witch” costume I have up in the closet.  And I think he’s disappointed, because he loves Halloween (so do I!) but I just do not have the bandwidth to come up with and assemble a costume this year, just to stand around and hand out candy to kids, and also it’s going to rain on Halloween. I sense he’s disappointed that I’m not as “into it” as in previous years.

I am excited for the holidays, but can I just express how much I hate the huge pile of empty decor boxes that sits behind the couch for 3+ months until they’re all over?  I fucking hate living around the clutter of holiday decorations PLUS the clutter of the boxes that the decorations are stored in.

We also still haven’t done the photo for our Christmas card this year, and we need to get on that SOON.  Not only does the photo need to be staged, but we need to be sure we have our outfits, and then there is a LOT of digital editing that needs to be done afterwards.  Like a good couple hours, at least.

I also have 4+ design commissions that I haven’t even STARTED on!  And I’m running out of things to tell these people that aren’t, “I PHYSICALLY CANNOT.”

Oh hi, Thanksgiving is also coming up.  His Mom will be coming over the night before, and my mother is pretty much only able to eat liquids and gruel, and then afterwards we like to be “those people” and go out for Black Friday.  I NEED to have the kitchen done before all this.

Because the kitchen and dining room is complete fucking disarray I have not been able to clean the house!  And a messy house is a huge, huge stressor for me.  I was going to try to do laundry yesterday, but the guy was doing the furnace, and so clearly I couldn’t occupy the same space. I am thinking of skipping the gym tonight just so I can put a dent in the huge pile that is accumulating in the bedroom.

Marc has not paired socks in like three weeks?  Despite the fact that he knows this must be done regularly, like every time I do the laundry? But it just keeps piling up and piling up and piling up, and no matter how many times I’m like, “SOCKS????”, he’s just like, “Well, I didn’t know where you put them!” (1. They are in the same place they always are and even if they weren’t   2. You could ask) or the excuse is, “I didn’t know they needed to be done, you should have put them where I can see them? (1.  You are a grown ass man who wears socks EVERY SINGLE DAY AND WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR ALMOST FOURTEEN YEARS. YOU ARE FULLY AWARE THAT SOCKS MUST BE PAIRED AND THAT IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.   2. Last time I put the overflowing box of unpaired socks immediately onto your side of the bed, and you MOVED IT TO THE FLOOR AND BLISSFULLY CONTINUED LIVING A LIFE OF UNPAIRED SOCKS.)

We also have THREE events coming up: an author expo, a Christmas craft fair, and A SECOND Christmas craft fair.  The summer fair at the cemetery was SO GREAT because people bought a ton of stuff, but this means that I need to rebuild my inventory.  And “rebuilding my inventory” isn’t just hopping online and buying shit!  I need to design it, and craft it, and then finish it, and do I have enough materials on hand to do it all?

The garden still has not been put to bed for the year, and I don’t know when the hell we’re going to have the perfect combination of time and weather!

Also, I still have two fucking bags of clothes that I need to stage and photograph so I can post it online!

And I haven’t even S T A R T E D photographing my own jewelry to create an online store!  Nor do I have any idea when I’m going to have the time to do it!

Also, I would like to be able to draw and paint!

Also, I was supposed to write 10k words in September, and I didn’t fucking write ANY, because how??? Even if I can work up the momentum to finish this goddamned book, when the fuck am I supposed to do it?

And Rosie is getting fixed at the end of this month, and Bones needs to go back to the vet for bloodwork next month to make sure his kidneys aren’t failing and he hasn’t lost any more weight.

So yesterday, on the way home from the gym, when I’m like, “I cancelled the second Christmas fair, the one at the school. It’s just too much for me,” and he’s like, “It’s too much? Are you kidding?”

And I swear to God... I swear to God I would take a bullet for this man, I would literally murder people for this man, and he has my whole heart, but I may have never wanted to fucking strangle him so much as I did right then.

JESUS EFFING CHRIST DUDE.  Y’know, I would also like to spend twenty minutes twice a day sitting on the toilet and browsing my phone.  I would really also like to check myself out of all responsibilities every time there’s a football game on TV that I want to watch.  It would be really great to never have to fucking think about HOW EVERYTHING IN OUR LIFE OPERATES ON TIME AND WITHIN BUDGET AND HOW LITERALLY EVERYTHING GETS DONE, except I CAN’T DO THAT.  Last night when we were supposed to be “relaxing” in bed, I sat there sorting through mail so that everything would get paid / done on time, while you sat there scrolling away on your STUPID PHONE THAT I HATE SO MUCH.

He has a bare minimum of responsibilities:

1.  Take the garbage bins to the curb and back again.

2.  Feed the cats (I occasionally help with this)

3.  Do the afternoon litterbox scoop (this frequently gets “forgotten”)

4.  Load / unload the dishwasher, hand-wash anything that cannot go in the machine (this maybe gets done once a week, it frequently goes until the sink is so filled with shit that I cannot prepare meals)

5.  Take the trash out to the bins (this has been known to sit WAY LONGER than it should)

6.  Clean the bathrooms (There are 3 -- 2 full and 1 half. One of the full baths does not need to be regularly cleaned because it’s only there to hold litter boxes, we don’t actually use it.  That leaves 1 full bath and 1 half bath, the latter of which is STRICTLY HIS.)  The bathrooms are cleaned maybe once a month.

7.  Clean the floors (vacuum and mop).  This ONLY gets done when guests are coming over, or when I complain that the floors are disgusting and they REALLY need to get done.  Half the time he will vacuum (and not thoroughly), and then say, “I’m going to hold off on mopping until right before X gets here, that way they’ll be fresh and clean”, and then will conveniently forget to mop at all.

It’s not as if he’s not aware.  We have talked about this.  He FREQUENTLY AND WITH HEARTFELT SELF-DEPRECATION will confess that he is terrible about keeping up the house, and promise that he will get better, and it takes everything in my power to say, “No you won’t. Can I just stop pretending that I believe you when you say that, because you clearly do not actually mean it or, if you do, you have no intention of putting forth the physical and mental ambition to follow through.”

And you know what? I DON’T CARE!  I love my house and I love taking care of it.  I married him knowing these things about him, and he is such a good partner otherwise that I was willing to overlook it, and we laugh about it most of the time and it’s fine. It’s actually fine!  I’m not just saying that!

What gets me -- what borderline made me want to murder him -- was the incredulous, “Really? The second craft fair is too much?” last night, and I think the dark depths of my silence afterwards must have clued him into the fact that he had been a Dumbass Supreme, and he spent a good 20 minutes reminding me how awesome I am.

Yes. Yes, I know I’m fucking awesome.  Sometimes I just want you to be a little fucking awesome too. PLEASE.

[kiruuuuu]

More recruitverse in which Ivan is actually nice! (Rating T, nothing but fluff, ~2.2k words) - written for @nutbrain​ because you inspire, encourage and support all those around you 💙💙

.

Ivan Ivanovic has been called blind countless times throughout his life, sometimes a variation like deaf or stupid, usually in relation to perceived obliviousness. He’s neither of the three yet sees no trouble in letting others believe he is – after all, their assumptions about him reveal more about their personalities than his.

He learnt early on that some of the facts taught to children in good faith are nothing but propaganda, a desirable yet unattainable outcome, merely a way to try and manipulate them into ‘goodness’. He’s unable to help everyone so he doesn’t, reduces the situations in which he could help to a simple cost and reward deliberation: when he notices Shay (who quite clearly has his heart in the right place even if his head isn’t on straight) hanging around with the wrong people, he doesn’t interfere; when Jojo gets bullied for something over which he has no control, he stays away; when Valenti becomes a regular scapegoat since he wants to fit in so badly he’d rather take the blame, he doesn’t speak up; and when Gian is alienated and called elitist behind his back because he refuses to partake in activities he feels are unfair to others, he ignores it. None of these scenarios were worth his meddling.

But he also got told that others would come to his aid. That humanity is inherently good. And while he remains conflicted on this notion, he must secretly believe it true or else he wouldn’t be fighting for them. Even so, he remembers digging his own grave by allowing everyone around him to share his happiness, the life he was building with her, and in the process undermined his own credibility. Because when he started telling others of her worrying behaviour, they waved it off. She was so nice, wasn’t she? He was lucky to have her, who cared if she wanted to go through his phone? He shouldn’t have anything to hide, right? And if he did, it was his own fault. And so, eventually no help came. Because he’d been happy so far, hadn’t he? He knew what she was like, and he was probably exaggerating anyway. He shouldn’t throw away years of happiness after one off day, everyone has those, she’s been under a lot of stress recently, right? No? Well, there must’ve been a reason and the reason can’t have been anything other than him.

And then Jojo wouldn’t go away, and he brought three others with him. And Gian listened with more compassion than any of Ivan’s friends and family had done. And Shay treated him as if they’d known each other since they were kids. And Valenti, who normally doubted all his achievements and frequently demanded proof, defended him viciously the moment someone outside of their group did it.

Helping anyone became a lot easier with these four idiots as pay-off.

So no, Ivan isn’t blind. He’d even call himself unusually perceptive, though he doesn’t often act on it which, he assumes, is the reason why his awareness gets insulted, and he doesn’t act on it as it oftentimes requires him to go out of his way for someone who generally isn’t worth his time or effort. But sometimes, the opposite is true.

.

“I got propositioned just now!”, Jojo announces sarcastically proud as soon as he’s breezed into their room, hair still wet from his shower and already wearing clothes fit for sleep.

“Did you reactivate your Grindr account?”, Gian wants to know, being quite aware of the fact that Jojo proclaimed never to use the app ever again, but seeing as it was the third outburst he’s had over it since they’ve known each other, none of them took him seriously. Gian and Valenti only just came back as well from some form of punishment outside, meaning they’re both shivering and dancing on the spot to warm up faster.

Ivan’s arms remember the feel of the Frenchman’s body between them and remind him sharply. He regrets the hug they shared, the entire odd moment really because it leaves him no peace. He thinks back to it at least three times a day and has since tried to stay away from Valenti – and if his presence is unavoidable, then he at least hasn’t touched him again.

“Fuck no, I’d rather rim the devil than go back to that endless void of horny middle-aged creeps.”

“Sounds like you have solid target group at least”, Ivan offers as half-hearted comfort and gets shown a finger in return.

“Tell us, Jojo, who was dumb enough to hit on you while you’re in a mood this rotten?”, Valenti joins their conversation, trying to rub some feeling back into his hands.

“My mood was perfectly fine before that douchenozzle macho fuckboy opened his stupid mouth.”

“Please, your mood has been rotten for days now.”

“That’s not bloody true, why would -”

Wordlessly, they all glance at Shay who’s stretched out on his top bunk, phone in hand and texting away blissfully with a smile on his face. He hasn’t even welcomed Jojo back, let alone acknowledged any of them since he’s started talking to Brittany half an hour ago. By now, even Thatcher must be aware of what’s going on yet the Irishman in their middle remains unsuspecting. He would deserve to be called blind.

“Anyway”, Jojo continues and they all seem relieved at him picking up the thread of the conversation once more, “I ran into Jacob Griffin-Worthington, and as the laws of nature dictate, with a name like Jacob Griffin-Worthington, he had no choice but to be a giant arsehole. So there I was, minding my own business, when Jacob Griffin-Worthington appeared out of nowhere and wanted to know how my love life was going. And I told him it was fantastic, I literally can’t stop sucking dick every free minute I have, so Jacob Griffin-Worthington -”

“I swear, if you say his full name one more time I’m going to tell him you’re crushing on him”, Valenti groans, much to Ivan’s amusement. There’s no love lost between Jacob and any of them.

“- so he who shall not be named suggested I kiss his ass in case my mouth would ever become available again and I said before I voluntarily touch any part of his body, I’d rather -”

Shay produces an odd sound, almost like choking, and this time he notices holding all their attention, looking both flustered and thrilled. “What? It’s nothing. Keep talking.”

“Are you alright?”, Jojo asks, concerned, because as much as he’s pissed off with his best friend for everybody to see, they’re still best friends.

“Yeah, it’s just – Brit just -” He trails off, looks at his phone screen again briefly and cradles it against his chest once more. “No, it’s fine. What were you talking about?”

“Did she send a nude?” Valenti must’ve noticed Shay’s bright red ears.

“Well, not quite, but – almost. She’s so pretty.” Another glance. The red darkens. “Jojo, do you want to see? I’m only showing Jojo, before you ask, everything else would be weird.”

“It’s weird enough showing me”, Jojo murmurs and rolls his eyes, “but alright. Let’s see the goods.”

And while the two stick their heads together to marvel at Shay’s girlfriend at the one end of the room, Valenti and Gian exchange a few exasperated looks at the other. For the moment, Ivan returns to tapping away at his phone, learning all about castling while simultaneously keeping his ears open for fragments of conversations in case anything interesting comes up again.

“Did you not own a scarf?”, Gian addresses Valenti questioningly.

“Ah, curses, you’re right. If it’s gone, Bandit must’ve taken it. I’m telling you, we need to take him down, truce or not, he offered me another brownie the other day and I bet it wasn’t a normal one.”

“Perhaps we could try to endeavour not to instigate trouble for which we suffer the same consequences as Bandit does for his pranks.”

“So what you’re saying is: we shouldn’t get caught again.”

Gian’s deep sigh doesn’t cover up Shay’s quiet ‘you smell nice’ to Jojo and if Ivan wasn’t already busy googling something all of a sudden, he’d attempt to send Jojo some telepathic sympathy.

.

Getting away from the others isn’t difficult for Ivan, he merely needs to threaten with additional exercise and they drop out, and even on the occasions Valenti doesn’t, he can tire him out easily and then sneak away while the Frenchman is busy trying to breathe. He rarely makes use of this way to distance himself, yet sometimes needs a bit of time alone without having to justify himself and sometimes just so he can browse the shops in town. Wholly being in charge of his own income is a relatively new concept to him and so he makes a few purchases just because he can. He knows Valenti caught a look at some of his animal socks at some point and watching him struggle with himself about whether or not he should bring them up was extremely entertaining.

In this case, he makes a trip to buy something specific and then pretends to go for a late run that same evening, instead seeking out the only operator in Rainbow of whom he’s certain to receive assistance.

“You’re a recruit, no?”, Zofia asks him as soon as he’s gotten her attention.

“Yes. Ivan Ivanovic. I need your help.”

Admitting it to her is daunting. She possesses a strong presence as well as confidence and reminds him of two women in his life, none of whom he’d like to ever meet again. But where they abused their power over him, Zofia listens to his request willingly, asks a few questions and eventually agrees with a kind smile. Most operators neither have the time nor the patience to deal with any of the recruits’ problems, not even necessarily out of malice – Ivan understands it all too well and therefore doesn’t hold it against them, but it means he appreciates what Zofia’s doing even more. She wants to know why he came to her specifically and laughs when he reveals she just seems the right person for the job, like someone who has the skills he requires.

She goes out of her way to teach him, inspects his work readily and even meets with him secretly during the day for more encouragement. He vows to find out more about her interests so he can pay her back accordingly, but for the moment he’s busy with other things.

.

“Sounds like we’re meeting her tomorrow”, Jojo says over his shoulder as he enters and Ivan makes a conscious effort to arrange his expression into something neutral so he doesn’t give anything away. “Hey, Ivanko, have you heard? Shay wants us to meet his beautiful girlfriend with the differently-sized tits tomorrow.”

“Be nice to her”, Valenti warns him as they swarm out and gather a few supplies in preparation of going out again. “And for heaven’s sake, don’t mention her boobs.”

“Or what, Gian’s going to write me a very stern letter? If she’s a bitch, I’m gonna fling shit back at her. Not that Shay would ever be interested in a bitch, but just in case.”

“Well, he’s friends with you”, comes the mumbled answer which startles a chuckle out of Ivan. Valenti shoots him a quick smile before finally taking notice of the object lying on the blanket of his top bunk. “Oh, what is this?”

“The last fucking thread holding my patience together”, Jojo grumbles in response but looks over nonetheless, squints at the fabric Valenti picks up. Rich dark red is cascading over his hands and nearly reaches the floor on both sides, the material soft yet thick wool. “Looks like a scarf.”

“I recently lost mine, but – Ivan, was this here when you came in?”

He’s hesitant to make eye contact in case he gives himself away but needn’t have worried as Valenti’s attention is still focused on the cloth he’s holding. “Yes”, he says simply.

“Huh. Then I have no idea where it came from. You didn’t buy this for me, did you, Jojo?”

“I would’ve gotten you something more stylish and you know it. Maybe in purple.”

“But this is my favourite colour. I think only Gian knows it is, but I don’t think he can knit. It looks hand-made.”

“Yeah, whatever, just put it on and quit whining about the cold. Do we have everything? Ivanko, you want to watch us ruin our complexion by planting face-first in the snow with our improvised sleighs?”

“Always.” He closes the game app and gets up to put his jacket on, trying not to let his satisfaction show upon seeing Valenti wrapping himself in the scarf with a content expression.

“It’s really warm”, he announces and sinks deeper into the several layers, “and it smells good. Forget whoever might’ve lost it, it’s mine now. Let’s go.”

And while the two lead, rekindling the discussion about Shay’s girlfriend, Ivan follows them with a smile.

[imagine-exo]

A Taste of Home

Admin VIA here! Guess who finally finished her oneshot, a day before she’s supposed to move into her dorm? Apologies for not keeping up with the regular imagines, but I really wanted to crank this out before move-in.

I chose anon’s prompt “Friends to lovers with Baekhyun, or literally anything a little angsty and fluffy with baek” and went incredibly overboard. My goal? 1K words. End result? 3.4K where the hell did all this come from?? 

I had more to say, but it’s currently 1:42am and I can’t remember it. I’m just glad I finally got this done! (Without checking it over, so please let me know if there are any typos!)

Pairing: Byun Baekhyun x reader

Genre: Fluff, angst, best friend!AU

Word Count: 3.4k (ish)

By: Admin VIA

Rated T for language. I really did try to keep this PG, but I couldn’t help but swear a couple times.

There are quite a few words that people associate with Byun Baekhyun. Singer is one. Puppy is another. But for you? Best friend is what he is to you.

But you desperately, passionately, selfishly, wish that that wasn’t the case. That you could be something more.

Falling for Baekhyun was pretty much involuntary, and most definitely hopeless. But, you tell yourself firmly, at least you’re lucky enough to be friends with him at all.

Your phone lights up and a text from needs to stfu flashes across the screen.

hey do u wanna buy me a matcha latte tomorrow?? pls have mercy on this poor boy

Not particularly, tbh

rude :((( not even for your best friend?? what can i do to melt your heart, elsa

Pay for your own coffee

ur so mean to me ｡･ﾟﾟ･(>д<)･ﾟﾟ･｡ but FINE, i’ll buy my own AND treat you to your vanilla rose like a REAL FRIEND

Aww, love you~ ( ˘ ³˘)♥

(◔_◔)

If only he knew how true that statement was, you think wryly. You drop your phone on the nightstand and wrap yourself up in your blankets, dreaming of a bright smile and of a universe where it was a familiar boxy-smiled boy keeping you warm instead of your thin, tattered blanket.

The bell chimes merrily as you push open the door to the small, bustling cafe. The barista on duty looks up at the sound of the bell, flashing an endearing gummy smile at you in welcome. Baekhyun’s not here yet, so you take a seat by the window, where a small vase is filled with bright yellow sunflowers. You prop your head up on your palm, losing yourself in the hustle that passes by the cafe.

“Here!”  A cup of vanilla rose tea latte is thrust in front of you, along with Baekhyun’s mischievous smirk. He slides his own green tea latte across the table, slipping into the seat in front of the window.

“Move, you’re blocking the view,” you jibe.

“Bitch, I am the view,” Baekhyun retorts, lifting his chin in faux arrogance. You giggle, conceding in your mind. Especially now, with the sunlight falling on his hair and making turning the strands golden, Baekhyun looks absolutely radiant.

Suddenly, Baekhyun gasps dramatically. “Puppy!” he all but shrieks. You turn around just as the dog’s owner (and pretty much everyone else in the cafe) turns to look at him.

By the time you glance back around at him in bewilderment, Baekhyun is already out of his seat and making a beeline towards the panting pomeranian.

“Can I pet him? Or her?” he asks the girl hopefully, eyes alight. You can see her melt as he projects the full force of his puppy eyes at her, and she nods, smiling shyly. Baekhyun gets right to work, plopping onto the ground to stroke the dog’s ears and scratching lightly around the flank.

“Him,” the girl replies. “His name is Pickles.” She bends down, stroking Pickles’s fur, flushing when she makes eye contact with Baekhyun, whose smile has turned coy.

“And what’s your name?” He asks.

“I’m Suzanne,” she introduces herself, holding her hand out for him to shake. He grasps it, smiling warmly.

“Beautiful name for a beautiful lady,” Baekhyun compliments. “I’m Baekhyun.”

Still sitting in your booth by the window, you snort. What a flirt. Though you tease him about his greasiness, you can’t help but feel your heart flutter, wishing it was meant for you. And not for the first time, you can tell that yet another unsuspecting soul has fallen for Baekhyun’s charms. In fact, you can see the exact moment her heart melts — her eyes soften, her cheeks lift up in the tiniest hint of a smile, and a gentle blush spreads over her face and neck. You’re not surprised in the slightest. Baekhyun has always been able to effortlessly charm everyone he meets, though not merely through his endless flirting — and you are no exception. His kind eyes and contagious laughter haunts you even in your dreams while leaving himself clueless to the extent of his significance. You are also used to Baekhyun’s obliviousness— in all the years that you’ve been friends, never once has he reciprocated his admirers’ feelings, until the poor girl finally moved on. You are the odd one out in this scenario. As hard as you try, you are unable — or perhaps unwilling — to let go of your love for him.

Suzanne laughs gently, thanking him.

Something is different about this encounter, however. You watch, mystified, as Baekhyun’s smile turns bashful. He nibbles at his bottom lip and fidgets with his fingers, avoiding her gaze to look down at the puppy still underneath his hands.

“Sorry, was that too cheesy?” Baekhyun asks, still staring at Pickles.

“Yes,” you say, walking up to them.

Suzanne startles, and Baekhyun tries to glare at you, but he can’t do so without grinning. You can’t help but feel your mood lift when he sends you a brilliant smile, while Susanne’s face starts to fall, looking disappointed. She’s a nice girl, you can tell.

You empathize with her.

“I’m Y/N,” you say, shooting her a friendly smile. “I have the misfortune to be this idiot’s best friend.”

“Nice to meet you!” she replies, mirroring your smile. You bite your lips, unsure of what to say next.

“Err, I have an appointment soon, so I should really grab my coffee and go,” Suzanne says reluctantly, her eyes sliding over to Baekhyun.

He pouts. “Can we meet up again? Er...I mean, I would really love to play with Pickles some more,” Baekhyun grins.  

Suzanne smiles happily, genuinely, and her face is alight with a warm, comfortable glow. You can see why Baekhyun is so taken by her, but you can’t help but feel slightly inferior. Baekhyun waves to Suzanne as she heads out, pocketing his phone and her newly saved number carefully, almost reverently. Sliding back into his seat across from you, he sighs blissfully.

“She’s so pretty,” he says, eyes glowing and a dopey smile on his face. You hum noncommittally, letting him gush to his heart’s content as you try to force your own feelings aside, for the sake of his happiness.

Days turn into weeks, and weeks turn into a month since Baekhyun met Suzanne in that cafe. Since then, Baekhyun and Suzanne have gone on countless dates, both with and without Pickles.

Since then, you have frequented that lively cafe, that window booth that allows you to lose yourself in the heavy flow of traffic. In fact, you’ve spent so much time there that the gummy-smiled barista knows your name, order, and and practically everything else about you.

“Vanilla rose tea latte, just the way you like it,” Minseok’s voice sounds next to your ear. You look up, smiling gratefully at him, and hand him the exact change, which he tucks into his apron pocket. Seeing as the cafe isn’t too busy, Minseok slides into the seat across from you as he always does whenever he sees you sitting there alone.

“So, no lover boy today?”

You snort. “Minseok, you know we’re not dating, he’s dating Suzanne.”

“Yeah, I was there when they met,” he grins at you. “But I noticed that you didn’t deny anything—you’re totally in love with him.” Minseok speaks matter-of-factly, as if he didn’t just casually reveal the secret you’d guard with your life.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you splutter, caught off guard.

Minseok merely quirks an eyebrow at you, lips curling into a smug, lopsided grin. The glint in his eyes are all too knowing, and you know he didn’t fall for your flimsy denial.

“Why the fuck are you so perceptive?” You grumble.

The barista laughs. “Is there anyone who can’t tell that you’re in love?”

“You’re in love with someone?” A familiar voice says, incredulous. You look up to see Baekhyun, shocked. “Who?” He asks, pouting.

Minseok smoothly slides out of the seat. “Good afternoon, Baekhyun. Let me go make your coffee. Er, remind me of your order again?”

“Matcha latte,” you respond instead.

“Er, I’m actually feeling an Americano today,” Baekhyun plops into the seat that Minseok had just vacated, staring intently at you.

You blink at him. “I thought you said those were too bitter for you.”

“Who?” The boy in front of you demands again, ignoring your unspoken question. Minseok turns around, sending you a wink.

“Uh, nobody you know,” you respond, cursing inwardly at the retreating barista. You can tell Baekhyun doesn’t quite believe you, but he drops the subject. You’re a little suspicious—he must have something else on his mind. Usually, he continues acting bratty until you give him what he wants—it’s like your presence brings out the toddler in Baekhyun.

“What do you think about Suzanne?” Baekhyun asks.

You startle, not expecting the question. “Well, she seems nice? And she seems to make you happy, so that’s good. I think she’s good for you,” you say. And you are being genuine—Suzanne’s quiet, steady presence is a good balance against Baekhyun’s spontaneous nature without holding him back.  

“I think I really like her,” Baekhyun confides quietly, a soft smile playing on his lips.

You smile weakly back, trying to ignore the sharp dagger of jealousy piercing your heart. You know she’s good for him. “That’s great,” you tell him as sincerely as you can. “I’m glad you’ve finally found a girlfriend.” You try to shake off your bitterness by reviving your usual banter. You’d think a month would be enough time to get over yourself, you think sourly. After all, Baekhyun is your best friend, first and foremost. You refuse to let unrequited emotions cloud your desire for your best friend’s happiness.

“Do you think…it’s too soon to ask her to move in?” Baekhyun asks shyly, hope in his eyes and a sheepish grin on his lips.

You gape at him. “Yes!” You splutter, telling yourself that your fervent opposition is for his own sake, and not because of your fear that his relationship will grow even stronger and leave you behind. “You’ve been dating for a month!”

“I thought you liked her!” Baekhyun protests. He clearly wasn’t expecting your answer, and is growing defensive.

“I do!” You blow air out through your nose, frustrated. “But I’ve met her like three times! So yes, I do like her, from what I know about her, but I don’t know her!”

“But I do!” Baekhyun flares. “I’m going to do it anyway.”

You sigh. This is the spontaneous side of Baekhyun presenting itself as impulsivity, and you’ve known Baekhyun for long enough to know that whatever you say will not be able to change his mind. “Why did you ask me in the first place, then? If you just ignore everything I say.” Your words are biting.

“I thought you would be supportive! I guess I should’ve known better.” Baekhyun sends you one last betrayed glance, before striding towards the door, brushing past a bewildered Minseok holding cup of dark coffee, absent of the beautiful foam art you’re used to.

You exhale slowly. How did things come to this?

Days pass, and you find yourself in the same seat, by the same window. The same drink is set in front of you every time, yet somehow, you never seem to tire of it.

“Why don’t you try a different drink?” Minseok asks, as he sets the vanilla rose tea latte down for the third time that week. “I know it’s your favorite drink, but damn, even I’m getting sick of it, and I’m not even the one drinking it.”

You hum a little, taking a sip and letting the gentle sweetness fill your senses. “I don’t know,” you answer. “It’s not that I don’t want to try something new,” you muse. “I do want to try the barista picks and stuff. But this is familiar to me? It’s in my comfort zone, and I can’t bear to give it up.”

Minseok tousles your hair playfully. “Well, if you ever decide that you want a change, I’ve got just the thing for you.”

Before you can reply, the bell above the door jingles. Minseok turns around, greeting on his lips.

Baekhyun drags his feet in, clearly upset, eyes clouded over and far away.

“Baekhyun?” Minseok calls his name gently.

Baekhyun smiles weakly. “One Americano, please.” He speaks quietly, a far cry from his usual boisterousness.

“You were right,” he mumbles.

You grimace. Baekhyun’s pain is your pain, and it hurts to see him so lifeless. “I usually am,” you attempt to joke, “but what about this time?”

“Suzanne said it was too soon.” Baekhyun looks straight into your eyes. “We...we’re on a temporary break.” He sounds as if the words are hard to force out.

“Do you love her?” You ask quietly.

Baekhyun plays with the rings on his finger. The hopelessness in his eyes and in his actions tell you all that you need to know. Yes, he is in love.

You sigh. As much as you want him for yourself, you resolve to cast aside your own feelings so that you can help him find his own happiness. You put your hand on his, stopping his fidgeting with his rings, and draw courage from the warmth of his hand.

“I think you scared her,” you tell him softly. “Give her some space and call her again tomorrow. I think you should be patient.”

Just then, Minseok comes by with Baekhyun’s Americano. He makes a move to clear your empty cup, when you stop him.

“I think I’m ready to try something new,” you tell the barista earnestly. “What do you recommend?”

Baekhyun gapes at you, lips parted in surprise.

Minseok’s eyes light up. “Give me a minute!” he says cheerfully. As he walks off, Baekhyun looks at you questioningly.

“Is Minseok the one you’re in love with?” Baekhyun asks, hesitant.

You blink in shock. “What? No! Where did you get that from?”

“You’ve always refused to try anything else whenever I asked!” Baekhyun pouts at you, eyes narrowing. Though he seems offended, you can see your best friend’s usual playful temperament coming back.

Minseok sets your new caffeine down with a flourish. “Lavender earl gray latte!”

“Thought it was time for a change,” you shrug casually, addressing your words to both Minseok and Baekhyun. Minseok beams with pride before walking off to tend to his other customers. “Feelings don’t last forever, and neither do tastes,” you muse, almost to yourself.

“So you are in love with someone.”

Baekhyun’s voice is flat, borderline angry. You look up in shock. Perhaps he wasn’t pretending to be offended after all; you can see the fire brewing behind his eyes.

“Wait, what’s wrong?” You’re bewildered at the sudden change in mood.

Baekhyun is growing angry now, a rare sight in itself. “I have never kept something from you in all these years that I’ve considered you my best friend. So why did you think it’s okay to hide something so important from me?”

“You’re not entitled to my life,” you snap back, matching his tone in intensity. You need to change the subject before he finds out even more. Words are spilling out of your mouth without filter now, in your panic to hide your deepest secret.

“Well, yeah,” Baekhyun says, bewildered and indignant and clearly offended, “but I thought you trusted me.” He bites his lip, looking so much like a kicked puppy that you can’t help but sigh heavily, feeling all your cloud of anger start to dissipate around the edges.

“Look, Baek, it’s not that I don’t want to tell you,” you start to explain, taking care to keep your voice level. Before you can finish, however, Baekhyun mutters underneath his breath.

“Sounds like an excuse to me.”

“Excuse me?” Your temper flares right back, burning as bright as it was before. Baekhyun snaps his head up, looking at you sharply in the eye.

“I said, sounds like an excuse for your cowardice to me.” You never knew that his voice could be so cold, as his eyes burn so hot. His gaze is scalding — still the embodiment of the sun, but instead of the warm sun rays that you normally bask in, you’ve forgotten to wear sunscreen and now the rays are scalding your skin, blistering and peeling away your layers of self-control, one by one.

“I am scared!” You shout at him suddenly, voice breaking. Baekhyun finally shuts up, staring at you with wide eyes. “I am absolutely terrified. I am so fucking in love with you that it petrifies me!” There it is. Your best kept secret, hanging in the open air, completely out of your reach. The only thing you can hope for is that Baekhyun will catch it, rather than watching it fall and shatter on the ground along with the glass shards of your heart. You grip the handle of your mug tightly, watching the coffee swish around the brim, nearly spilling over.

Silence greets your statement. For once, the ever talkative Baekhyun is speechless, mouth open in an attempt to find that words that do not exist.

“So forgive me,” you lower your voice now, muttering sarcastically, “if I wanted to preserve this friendship that you seem to treasure so much.” You stand up and turn away, hiding your face before Baekhyun can see the hot tears roll down your cheeks and under your chin. It’s fallen, you think. Fallen and shattered and irreparable, just as you feared. You begin to take slow, heavy steps in no particular direction but away, unshed tears blurring your vision.

“Wait.” Thin fingers wrap themselves around your waist, pleading. “I didn’t know,” Baekhyun admits meekly, innocence and confusion coloring his voice. After your deafening confession, his response sounds like a mere breath.

“I know.”

Your voice cracks, defeated and pathetic.

“So please, just let me get over you.”

This time, it is you who leaves Baekhyun behind, your new coffee order sitting on the table, untouched.

A week passes with no word from Baekhyun. You’re trying your hardest to move on, but it’s difficult when all you do is stare at your phone and hope to see needs to stfu flash across the screen.

You’re afraid of going back to Minseok’s cafe and being reminded of the emotions that escalated there, but in your misery, all you really want is a vanilla rose tea latte. Just as you drag yourself onto your feet to make the trek to the cafe, the doorbell rings.

When you crack open the door, you’re greeted by Baekhyun’s familiar boxy smile and two matching coffee cups.

“Vanilla rose tea latte, just for you!” He hands you the cup, grinning at you, and it’s as if the events of the the past week — no, the past month — had never happened. He takes a sip of his own cup, and you can smell the matcha from where you stand.

You take a long drink from your cup, and the familiar sweetness of the latte brings you instant comfort — it tastes like home.

“Y/N,” Baekhyun begins, seriously, earnestly.

You look up, fearing the worst. Was the coffee an attempt to butter you up?

“Will you go on a date with me?”

You swallow your mouthful of coffee too quickly, and it burns going down. “What?” You hack out, choking. “What about Suzanne?”

“I didn’t call her,” Baekhyun tells you. “Not immediately. I thought about what you and I thought about me, and realized that what I felt for Suzanne wasn’t love. I was happy, yes,” he smiles slightly, “but I was so focused on myself that I didn’t think of her feelings.”

Baekhyun then grins cheekily at you. “But you’ve always been thinking of me, haven’t you? About how I felt, and you were willing to give up so much for me.”

“I’m glad you understand,” you finally say, “how hard it is to put up with you.”

Baekhyun beams. “But you love me!” he exclaims happily, throwing his arm around you. “And you can’t deny it this time!”

You crack a smile. “Yes,” you agree quietly, “I do.”

And when his lips meet yours in a chaste first kiss, you think the flavor of matcha has never tasted better.  

[doubleknxtted]

Rictusempra//Lee Minho

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 (coming soon)

Words: 2,377

Genre: Fluff, enemies to lovers, gender-neutral reader insert, Hogwarts AU

Warnings: none, other than Minho being an asshole

Lee Minho; 6th year Ravenclaw, top of the class, gorgeous– stunning, even. Charming, comical, and witty, it came to no surprise that girls and boys alike adored him. To some, it seemed like there was no end to his endearingly cutting personality. Emphasis on some. Yes, while most adored Lee Minho, there must always be an exception. You, by chance, just so happened to be this exception.

Lee Minho, the very boy that people worshiped, was the bane of your existence. To you– he was an annoying, ill-mannered, sarcastic, arrogant piece of shit. The one class that you took pride in, Charms, was the very one he fought you for in marks. You– a charming, sweet, and generally quiet individual– would normally not mind having someone with higher marks than you in any circumstance. But this? This was much different.

Constantly, you would hear him gloat about his “superior grades” to all of his loving fans. It fucking pissed you off, to put it kindly. “Who the fuck brags about their grades like that? How sad do they have to be that they have to reaffirm their importance to themselves by talking about grades?” You would ask yourself. And to that, the answer is simple; very, very sad, and very, very lonely.

You would never be able to tell that from the smirk on his face as he stared at the most recent scores from the Charms test, eyes swirling with pride as he turned to you. “So (L/n), second to best again?” The question spilled out of his big, aggravating mouth. “I’d rather die before calling you the best, Lee,” You rolled your eyes, already feeling the migraine coming on from his mere presence. “No need, the marks have already said it for you,”

“Someone sure does feel the need to assert themselves,” You pushed past him, walking up to your favorite Ravenclaw, Seungmin. “Man, how the hell are the two of you in the same house? You’d think that snake would be a Slytherin,” Seungmin nodded, making a noise of agreement. “Yeah he’s an asshole, but we love him. I think he’s just sad,”

“Yeah, no shit he’s sad. We’re both in Dueling Club and I’ve never seen him go against a single person. I don’t think he really knows what he’s doing,” You shrugged. You could feel Minho’s glare bore into the back of your head as you and Seungmin walked back to your respective common rooms. “Anyways, I’ll see you later, Seungmin!”

Waking up later the next morning, you felt at ease knowing that it was Saturday, which meant no classes. You were finally relieved of the hellish torture known as “class”. You yawned, slowly stretching out your limbs in a depressingly weak attempt to wake up, the sound of the storm outside tempting you to go back into your peaceful state of slumber. Deciding to give in to the will of your heavy eyelids, you turned onto your side, ready to go back to sleep. That is until you remembered you had promised to meet Seungmin for breakfast. Your eyes quickly snapped open in panic.

“Shit!” You exclaimed, quickly jumping out of bed, stripping and dressing as fast as possible. “Fuck if I’m late again he’s not gonna let it go,” You absentmindedly muttered to yourself, shoving your wand in the pocket of your robe as you headed out of the common room.

You ran down the empty stairs of Hogwarts, save for the few ghosts you ran through in your rush. After what felt like an eternity of listening to the sound of your frantic footsteps echo off the tall, vast walls, you finally made it to the Great Hall. “Right on time,” You exhaled, walking into the nearly empty room. As it was the weekend, most of the upperclassmen were at Hogsmeade. The only remaining students were the First and Second Years and a few of the upperclassmen who had decided to stay behind for whatever reason. Walking towards the Ravenclaw table, you could already see the smug-ass grin on Seungmin’s face.

“So, (Y/n), how late did you wake up and how fast did you run?” Scoffing, you rolled your eyes. “Shut up. I woke up on time and took my time walking here, thank you very much,” You lied. He didn’t buy it. “Yeah right, we both know you woke up ten minutes ago,” He said, making you slump your shoulders. “Okay fine,” You said, sitting down next to him, “So what if I woke up late? I’m here, on time, isn’t that what really matters?” Feeling a pair of eyes on you, you turned only to be met with the very unwelcome face of Lee Minho. As of right on cue, the sound of loud, booming thunder rolled throughout the Great Hall.

“Just as I thought you couldn’t be anymore cursed,” You teased, quirking up an eyebrow. Minho chuckled, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face. “I want to challenge you to a duel, (Y/n),” Upon hearing this, your eyebrows shot up on surprise. “Is that so? You’re going to go against me? Full offense, but I’ve never even seen you go against someone during Dueling Club. I highly doubt you’re going to win against me. You’re just going to embarrass yourself in front of ev–,”

“No, not during Dueling Club. I mean right now,” Minho said, cutting you off. Shocked, you looked back at Seungmin, who looked just as puzzled as you did. Catching your gaze, Seungmin made a noise of disbelief and shrugged. Turning to Minho, you blinked slowly.

“You want to fight me? Right now?” He nodded. “Yes, in the courtyard,” He said, making you snort. “Dude, it’s raining,” “I know,” You shook your head and stood up. “Fine, I’d love to kick your ass,” You walked past Minho, a smug expression on your face. There was no doubt in your mind that you were going to win, as you frequently dueled against others, and spent hours studying new spells. You were sure that the most Minho knew were the basic ones.

You walked through the halls, a few feet ahead of Minho. You could hear a third pair of rushed steps rapidly approaching you. You didn’t even have to look to know it was Seungmin.

“(Y/n), are you fucking crazy?” You heard him exclaim through gritted teeth. You laughed and shook your head. “You already know the answer to that,” He sighed at your response. “But I didn’t think you’d duel Minho, you could really hurt him,”

“Since when have you been worried about Minho? Besides, I’m not going to hurt him. I’ll just use some low-level spells. It’ll be more like pranking him than fighting him,” You said, finally seeing your destination approaching. “I swear to god, (Y/n), if he ends up being some amazing dueling god who’s just been holding out to trick you, I’m not cleaning up your dead body,”

Sighing, you took your wand out of its pocket. Putting on the hood of your robe, you stepped out into the rainy courtyard and turned to Minho, who was still standing under the protection of the outside walkway. “Lee! Are you coming, or did you decide to back out already?” You yelled over the sound of the pouring rain. Scoffing, he pulled his hood over his head and gripped his wand. “Alright, Seungmin! Since you followed us, you get to decide who wins,”

Facing each other in the center, you contemplated your plan of action. Should you take it easy on him? Should you completely obliterate him? Before you could thoroughly figure it out, Minho suddenly cast the first spell.

“Stupefy!”

“Protego!” You shouted, panicked that your shielding Charms wasn’t quick enough. You blinked slowly, processing what had just happened. “Minho, what the fuck? Were you going to knock me unconscious? Just like that? You didn’t even give me a heads up!” You yelled, completely dumbfounded by how absolutely idiotic he was.

“I’m sorry, I panicked!”

“Oh man, you’ve gotta be fucking–“ You heard Seungmin groan, making you laugh. Minho really had no clue what he was doing. He was book smart, not street smart. Shaking your head, you decided to just get the stupid duel over with.

“I’m just gonna go ahead and get this over with,” You said, pointing your wand at Minho. “Expelliarmus!” His wand flew out of his hand, and he immediately looked defeated. “Shit, I’m a dumbass,” Minho said, putting his hands up in surrender.

“You were right, (L/n)! I really am bad at dueling! I give up!”

“Oh no, I came all the way out here, to this rainy ass courtyard, on my Saturday morning, just to duel you. I’m gonna get something out of it,” Minho looked worried. “W-what do you mean?”

“Rictusempra!”

Suddenly, Minho starts laughing, startling Seungmin half to death. Minho fell to the ground laughing, rolling around and clutching his sides. “(Y/n)... what did you do to Minho?” Seungmin slowly asked, a warning tone to his voice. “Oh, you know– just a simple tickling charm. Nothing harmful, and it should wear off soon!” You smirked, looking at the mess in front of you.

As Minho laughed, you couldn’t help but notice how incredibly cute he was in this state. Disgusted by your own thoughts, you scrunched up your own nose. “I’ve seen better,” You thought, walking back to Seungmin. “You wanna go chill out in the Gryffindor Common Room with Jisung and me? They’ve got a bomb ass fireplace and the rain was kind of cold,”

“Yeah, sure, that sounds nice,”

That night, you lie awake thinking about the day's events. Sure, it had been fun beating Minho’s ass and leaving him to suffer in the rain– but was it worth it in the end? Normally, the answer would have been an inhumanly quick “yes”– but now, you were having second thoughts. You, the baddest bitch in town, had briefly thought that the Scum of the Earth, Lee Minho, was cute. Attractive, even. The more you thought about him, the angrier you became. You hated his stupidly handsome facial structure, despised his perfect fucking nose, were absolutely revolted by his stunning eyes, and– oh no, you were in love.

Curling up in a ball, you groaned. There was literally no reason for you to like him. Not only was he incredibly annoying, but he also tried to fucking fight you earlier. That’s more than enough of a reason to hate him. Yet something about him was just so endearing to you. Something very hidden. So hidden, you developed a migraine trying to figure out. Letting out a frustrated sigh, you twisted your body around to try and become more comfortable in your bed. Nothing was comfortable knowing that you were developing a crush on the biggest asshole you had ever met.

“This is ridiculous,” You angrily whispered, pushing yourself off your bed. Even though it was 1:00 am, much past Hogwarts’ 10:00 pm curfew, you figured a night stroll was exactly what you needed to clear your head. Grabbing your robe, you slipped on your shoes and quietly headed out, making sure not to wake anyone.

“Lumos,” The soft light from your wand illuminated your face, allowing you to see the empty halls of Hogwarts. All around you, the paintings on the walls slept, creating a calm atmosphere. You hurriedly made your way through the school, trying to get outside as fast as you could without getting caught by Flich or his cat.

After ten minutes, you finally made it out of the castle and to the lake. Huffing, you sat down and stared at the moon’s reflection on the water. There was so much running through your mind. Why did you suddenly take interest in Minho? Was it the way he smiled? His laugh? Or were you really just so angry that he was plaguing your mind? Lost in thought, you hardly even realized there was someone sitting next to you.

“Hey,” He said, looking out to the lake, his arms pulling his knees to his chest.

It was silent between the two of you, a mutual understanding of sorts. You guessed he had a lot on his mind as well. You couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking about. Perhaps he was out there for the same reason you were? You internally shook your head at the thought.

“Why?” He suddenly asked, startling you out of your trance. “Why what?”

“Why do you hate me?” The gentle tone of Minho’s voice startled you. Tearing your eyes from the lake, you turned to him. His eyes reflected the light from the lake and his brows were furrowed as he looked at the water. “Everyone else likes me. Why can’t you?”

“I don’t know,” You whispered. The more you thought about it, the more irrational your distaste for him seemed. Yeah, he was annoying, but there was no real reason to hate him in the first place.

“I’m sorry,” You put your head down, taking interest in the blades of grass beneath you. “I am too. I kept trying to make you like me, but I ended up being an asshole. I’m like a three-year-old,” He laughed, shaking his head.

You chuckled, playing with your wand. “I guess we both are. Sucks that it took me kicking your ass with a shitty spell for us to realize it,” As soon as the words left your mouth, you heard Minho choke. “I was in the rain dying for ten minutes after that, so I guess I had some reflection time.”

For a while, the two of you sat and talked. It must have been at least an hour before you yawned, making Minho softly smile. “It’s really late, you should probably go to bed,” You hummed in agreement, lifting yourself off the ground. “You should too. Even though we don’t have classes tomorrow, it’s probably not good to stay up. Flich is probably still on parole.”

“Nah,” He shook his head, “I’m probably gonna sit out here for a little longer. Gotta lot on my mind.”

“Alright, just don’t stay up too late,” And with that, you walked off.

[finn-got-tall]

prompts // suggestions

send requests to my inbox, [x] no more than four prompts per suggestion, please!

Don’t be afraid to suggest your own prompt! it does not have to be from this list!!!!

i do most any ship. please include ship or parring when you ask.

ALSO if you want to include a plot pleasssee do.

lots of credit to this wonderful person for helping me and giving me ideas and prompts for this list.

“What the fuck, man? Get off of me!”

“I swear to god, I’ll rip your skin off if you touch him/her/them again.”

“Where do you think you’re going?” “Who are you, my mom?”

“Don’t walk away from this!” “From what?” “THIS”

“I never stood a chance, did I.” “You did. Once.”

“You’re one insult away from starting a war.”

“Want to see what kind of trouble we can get into?”

“Oh god, we’re gonna die aren’t we?”

“You think I’m cute when I’m angry? Well, bitch, I’m about to be motherfUCKING GORGEOUS!”

“Make me feel something. Anything.”

“No, listen to me.”

“I don’t know if I can keep going like this.”

“Do you ever stop talking?”

“Everyone has a breaking point.”

“I’m not a fucking brick. I have emotions.”

“Stay here, I’m gonna go get help.”

“Holy shit, that’s a lot of blood.”

“It happened again. It keeps happening again.”

“So what you bitter piece of fuck? I’m nasty, lewd, I swear every third fucking word, and I’m a better person than you. Oh, that burns doesn’t it? That a piece of shit like me is more moral and good and pure than you can ever be?”

“I’m giving you/him/her/them everything I have and It’s not enough. That’s fucking bullshit.”

“Your stretchmarks are fucking awesome. They look like lightning bolts on your ass.”

“Sorry.” “Stop apologizing so much.” “Sorry- fuck!”

“I’ve got you. You’re okay. It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

“Shut up!” “Make me!”

“It was over when you said goodbye.”

“Wanna make out?”

“God, I hate everything about this place.”

“Isn’t it so painfully obvious that I’m in love with you?”

“Words just aren’t working right now.”

“Don’t die.”

“No. I’m not letting you tattoo me.” “But you lost!" 

"Did you steal that?” “Maybe” “Jesus Christ”

“So wait, you did what to me?”

“Too bad you didn’t listen to me when I warned you”

“You don’t know me” “But I want to know you and you won’t let me!" 

"You should’ve loved me when you had the chance”

“Fucking read my lips, I don’t love you so stop talking to me.”

“You’re the whole package, except without THE package.”

“Maybe people would like you more if you didn’t fuck everything up”

“Stop wearing your heart on your sleeve, you look like a desperate slut.”

“I love you” - “Yes, I love me too.”

“You hate rumors, but you’re spreading them? That doesn’t make any sense to me.”

“Do you ever stop feeling sorry for yourself?”

“Okay, stop, you’re beautiful, telling yourself you aren’t is ugly.”

“why are you wearing a dress?” “Because fuck you that's why.”

“STOP SCREAMING!”

“Are you okay?” “Not really, but I'm fine.”

“All that blood looks good on you. It really brings out your eyes.”

“Literally everything about this is illegal.”

“I love when someone insults me. It gives me permission to be a dick.”

“Right now I don’t know if I should kiss you or push you off a bridge.” “Can I pick?”

“You’re a psychopath.” “I prefer creative.”

“I’d tell you to be yourself, but that almost got us killed last time.”

“Good morning, I see the assassins have failed.”

“On a scale of one to ten, how bad do you think it would be if-” “at least a twenty.”

“Tell me I’m going to die. Tell me the sun is going to explode. Tell me the world is ending and there’s nothing I can do about it. Because if I hear it’s going to be okay one more time I will scream.”

“You made your choice, I made mine. Just because you cant live with yours does not mean you should shame me for living with mine.”

“I heard that!” “You were supposed to!”

“Oh my God, you’d struggle to pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heel.”

“Don’t you have to be a dick somewhere else?” “Not until four.”

“This isn’t a guilt trip; I just want to know if I’m a bother or not.”

“I’m not a thief, I’m just really good at acquiring things that aren’t mine.”

“I didn’t do it.” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did do it is a fucking genius.”

“I have a plan.” “Is it a good one?” “I have a plan.”

“I’m way too sober for this.”

“Why are your hands purple?” “That’s a very good question.”

“It’s okay, you don’t have to love me.”

“No one can see you cry in the rain.”

“You’re not scared?” “I’ve had worse nightmares about failing AP Chem.”

“You gotta stop doing that.” “What?” “Saying things that make me want to kiss you.”

“What’s our exit strategy?” “Our what?” “Oh God, we’re all gonna die.”

“Children shouldn’t play with guns.” “Who said I was playing?”

“I’ve come to kill you.” “Well, then we’ve got a problem. I didn’t come to die.”

“We can’t be together. Get over me.” “How can I get over someone who’s my whole world.”

“I had a really weird sex dream about you and I don’t know how to feel about it.”

“Do you think they’ll notice we left?”

“On a scale from 1-10, how hard do you want me to hit you?”

“You see the problem is, if I kissed you, I don’t know if I’d be able to stop.”

“I wish I was sorry, but I don’t regret any of it.”

“Hold up- just stop- just- what are you actually doing? It’s 2 AM.”

“Why don’t you care that everyone hates you?” “None of them hate me more than I do.”

“You/He/She/They took everything from me, and now I’ve got nothing to lose. So, yeah, I’d be fucking scared.”

“When was the last time you got a full night of sleep.”

“How did you talk me into this?”

“Trust me, I wish I could stop thinking.”

“I’d kick his ass, but I’d only have mine handed to me.”

“Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, do I look like Mother Teresa”

“Don’t touch me.”

“Are you wearing makeup?”

“You’re a freak.”

“What the hell is that?”

“I’m good, how are you?” “That’s probably the biggest lie I’ve ever heard.”

“What are you afraid of?” “Literally all of this!”

“Wait, why are you crying?”

“I’m gonna cut your dick off and show it to you.”

“I can’t sneak out! Have you met my parents/mother/father?”

“Why are we doing this at 3AM?”

“You frequently appear in my nightmares.”

“I never really understood you.”

“This has got to be the most bullshit thing I have ever done.”

[iluvu3k]

Roommates: Part One

Summary: Reader is a ghost that lives in Tom Holland apartment and Tom doesn’t believe in ghosts. Or does he? Let’s play with a Ouija board like all stupid 21 year olds do and find out. 

Warning: Rape mentions, swearing, death, spooky shit, dont play with ouija boards (especially while drunk)

Words: 2k

Special thank you to @axolotlnerd for betareading this for me. <3

Tom couldn’t say he hated his apartment, it was a little small but it had everything he needed. A fridge, a place to sleep, even a laundry unit he would never use. Plus it was only a few blocks away from his parents on nights where making food just wasn’t an option. Tessa loved it too, there was a dog park behind the building where she had already met a German Shepherd that had looked at her one too many times for Toms liking.

All and all, he could make it home.

You on the other hand hated every single thing about this place. Every little crack in the walls, every stray carpet hair, the way that the fridge buzzed at 2:09 every morning. Every little thing that you had noticed the past few months of being stuck in this god forsaken apartment.

What you hated most though was the way Tom saw through you, literally. You thought maybe that this would be the one who would take a second glance in the mirror and see you standing there but he was just like all of the others, waving off the cool breeze as a draft and the movies fallen off the shelves as an accident.

“Hey, darling.” You ran your hand over the blue staffy while pacing the front room, waiting for Tom to wake up. Tessa followed you around, wagging her tail furiously at the attention. At least there was something that could see you. She wasn’t one for conversation, though she tried with small yaps and deep barks. This morning she was particularly talkative begging for you to play, eventually waking up her owner.

“Tessa!” He hissed, walking into the front room, eyes still half closed. She looked from you to him, always curious why her dad never paid any attention to the other resident.

He wondered into the kitchen, grabbing a coffee cup you spent all day yesterday moving a couple inches. Of course in his sleepy state he would never notice such a trivial detail, but that was just like men, to never notice a woman’s effort.

You walked beside him, watching him poor his steaming coffee, longing for a taste. Goosebumps spread from his arm to his naked torso making all his small hairs stand up. His body gave a small shake as the tingling sensation made its way to the back of his neck.

“I really need to get the AC fixed.” He mumbled to himself, looking down at Tessa who stood between the two of you.

“You can try, but I imagine you’ll have the same luck as the past two tenants.” You leaned against the counter, your head in your palm. You admired the way he ignored every little thing you did, usually after a couple weeks people would start to get worried but he was stubborn.

The rest of the day he lounged around reading a script that his friend Harrison, a cute blonde that frequented the apartment, sent over. You played with Tessa, distracting Tom from time to time making you smile at the way his brows would furrow and his hand would run through his curly hair. You had many roommates in the past but he was for sure the cutest and closest to your age, or what was your age.

He had the repairman stop by just before sun down and as you predicted there was nothing wrong with the unit.

“Yeah, I get calls about this apartment all the time. Drafts, creaking walls, uneven flooring. I’m surprised this is my first call out here since you moved in.” The man said, packing up his tools. Tom watched him, arms crossed loosely, behind him you sat on the couch smirking.

“It hasn’t been much trouble for me at all, thanks for looking at it.” He shook the man’s hand.

“Well I’m glad that the ghost hasn’t given you too much trouble.” You raised an eyebrow, waiting for Tom’s reaction.

“Ghost?” He laughed.

“Oh yeah, a young woman died a few years back In this apartment, they didn’t tell you that when you moved in? Yeah, she likes to cause problems, or so they say. I’m just the repairman.” He shrugged his shoulders.

“I don’t believe in ghosts, really, it’s just a draft.” Tom opened the door and the man made his way out, nodding to Tom.

“Well, I’m glad at least someone is sensible. Have a goodnight, sir.”

“You too.” He closed the door and walked back into the living room letting out a deep sigh. He didn’t believe in ghosts, or spirits, or anything in that realm. He was an actor, he knew how people made those videos online that claimed the paranormal was real. But he couldn’t ignore that small feeling in the pit of his stomach, which is why he grabbed his laptop and plopped down on the couch causing you to move before getting sat through.

He opened up his internet and typed in his apartment building before pausing, asking himself if he really wanted to know.

‘Brookshire Flat Death’ resulted in many articles from four years ago, all describing the unsolved murder of twenty year old college student, (Y/N) (L/N), taken too soon. A smiling photo of you sat on his screen, his eyes fixated on yours.

“I thought you didn’t believe in ghosts?” You whispered into his ear, causing the small hairs on the back of his neck to rise.

He slammed the laptop closed before tossing it aside and taking out his phone. You watched him dial Harrison’s number before standing and pacing around the living room, mimicking your actions from this morning.

“Hey mate.” He replied to the voice that answered, “Do you want to hang out tonight? Have a few drinks, watch a few movies? Yeah, everything is fine. Just bored. I do not sound ‘a bit off’. Whatever man, just come over. Okay, see you in a bit.”

He hung up and looked over at Tessa who was concentrated on you. He called her but you held her focus. He swallowed down that feeling that was now rising closer and closer to the surface.

Maybe his apartment was haunted.

Harrison had arrived with a case of beer in hand but Tom had a different idea. They left for a good while, leaving you alone to chase Tessa around the apartment. They returned  just before nine with another boy you knew as Harry a black bag that was tossed on the couch with a loud thud.

“Oh, Hot Topic, edgy.” You smiled, watching the boys open a few beers before they grabbed some candles that Tom kept for blackout emergencies from the junk drawer. “Romantic dinner, maybe? I knew you and Harrison were more than just mates.”

Harrison worked on lighting them while Tom sat on the couch, digging in the bag. He pulled out a dark colored box with weird marking all over it, it also looked to be discounted from Halloween.

“You have got to be fucking with me.” He placed the contents of the box on the floor revealing a cheap Ouija board and on top of it, a plastic planchette. Harrison set the candles around the room and turned off the lights leaving a soft glow. Tom grabbed his beer from the counter and swallowed the contents, filling his stomach with the warming liquid.

“Alright boys, let’s talk to some spirits.” Harrison laughed before sitting down on the floor. The other two boys followed not as amused. Harry read the instructions out loud, his words beginning to slur as the group began on their third beer. They sloppily read some made up words the book called an opening ritual and hesitantly placed their fingers on the heart shaped piece.

When the candles flickered you were convinced it was just a coincidence but the air grew heavier and heavier, pushing you towards the board, as if it was pulling you in.

“There is no way this thing can work.” You muttered to yourself, throwing caution into the wind, after all you were dead, what was the worst that could happen? You placed your hand on the plancheete causing the lights to flicker once again. The boys eyes darted around the room, unsure of what to do next. Harry looked back at the instructions, visibly uncomfortable.

“Ask it a question.” He looked at Tom who answered with a confused stare.

“Why me?” He tried to cover his voice cracking with a cough but you could tell that everyone in the room expected just as much as you, nothing. But here you were, surrounded by a bunch of idiots opening a ‘portal to the spirit world’ and shit was definitely happening.

“It’s your bloody apartment. Just ask a damn question.” Harrison grabbed his next beer, the scent of alcohol radiating off him. Either he would scare himself sober or not remember tonight when he woke up tomorrow.

“Fine, er, Is there a ghost here?” Tom asked, hoping there would be no answer.

Now was your chance, you had been so alone for four years and this was your chance to actually talk to someone, make someone know you were here. But what if he moved out afterwards? What if he thought you wanted to hurt him? What if he would leave like all the others and take Tessa with him? You loved her so much.

You shoved your hand towards the yes, the plancheete proving to be heavier than it looked. You shoved again to no avail. You could feel all of your energy fading with every attempt but the stupid piece of plastic wouldn’t move.

“Please, please, please” You begged, putting both hands on it now, pushing with all your strength. When it didn’t move the boys let out a thankful sigh, taking their hands away, instantly breaking the force that has called you too the board not even five minutes ago.

“No, please. Don’t give up.” You could feel tears forming in your eyes, you were desperate for communication. You wanted to be heard.

“That was a stupid idea,” Tom laughed, standing up and stretching. “I can’t believe we thought it would work. Ghosts aren’t bloody real.” The other boys followed, a sense of relief filled the air but dread clung to you like wet clothes.

“I am real.” You cried, you felt like you could just crumble into pieces and never get up again. You were so weak, so lonely. “I’m here.” You watched them banter about their silly idea, crushing your spirit more and more with each word.

“I’m here.” You just wanted someone to hear you.

“I’m here.” It had been such a long four years without your parents, your siblings, your pets.

“I’m here.” You weren’t even supposed to be home that night, you were supposed to be at your friends. But she decided to leave the club with a man instead, so you stumbled home, half drunk in a dress way too short for the weather.

“I’m here.” You swore you wouldn’t tell anyone if he just let you go, if he just let you live. He could have your money, your valuables, after all, he had already taken your virginity.

“I’M HERE!” You screamed, all of your energy leaving your body, blowing the lights you and sending empty beer cans crashing against the walls. Tessa, who had been cautiously watching the event sprinted to the next room leaving the boys alone in shock.

Tom rushed to the light switch, revealing a destroyed living room, mirroring the destruction caused that night four years ago. Picture frames shattered, papers littered the floor, the lamp busted on the floor. All that was missing was your body and the blood stains that they had bleached out.

“What the fuck.” Harrison whispered, wide eyed.                                                                    

You watched as the boys collected their things and ran out the door, calling for Tessa before slamming it shut, leaving you completely alone. A soft whimper left your lips as you stood in your old living room, relieving the loneliness you felt on that cold December night you felt the life leave your body.

A/N: So it’s going to get a lot less serious, I never intended it to be this serious. Next chapter Tom’s cousin will be bringing over a real Ouija board and tom learns to live with a ghost. Let’s just say bringing home ladies doesn’t turn out too well. 

[intrepidolivia]

Alexandria Country Club pt 8

Pairing: NeganXOlivia (OC)

Warnings: cursing, discussion of violence, threats, mounting UST

Summary: AU! Negan and Adair get back to Liv. Negan contemplates violence. Sexual tension mounts. Adair has bad news.

A/N: Sorry this took a bit. I’m on vacation so may or may not get time to write more this week. This is a short chapter but sets up for later... hope you enjoy! If you want me to tag you, just let me know!

Negan drove as fast as he dared. Fortunately for Simon, his stop was quite literally on the way. Otherwise he’d have just had to suck it up and stayed along for the ride. As it was, it took considerable self control to actually pull to a stop to let him out, rather than just slowing down and telling him to jump.

“Shouldn’t the alarms or lights have fucking triggered?” he demanded of Adair.

“Yes!” The young man seemed every bit as upset as Negan. “And she left her car at her place. No one should have known she was at mine!”

“Any fucking idea who the fuck this is? Because it isn’t Chet.”

Adair shook his head. “No, I locked his phone, no way he got into it that fast.”

“And he’s stupid, but he’s not that fucking stupid,” Negan growled.

“I--” Adair cut off abruptly, frowning.

“What? You just thought of someone, didn’t you?” Negan glanced over at him.

Adair shook his head. “Yeah, but it’s impossible.”

“Come on, man. Give me something,” Negan growled. His tires squealed as he took a turn a bit too fast.

Adair glanced over at him. “It would be better if she told you about this…” He sighed, shoving a hand through his hair. “The last guy she dated. Almost a year ago. He was an asshole. He didn’t treat her very well. Got pretty creepy sometimes and…”

Negan’s hands tightened on the steering wheel. “He hit her?”

“Once that I know of. I broke a wine bottle on his face. It was an awkward dinner.”

“So, why’s it impossible?”

“Last I heard he was locked up. When the police got him on hitting Liv, he also had heroin in his pocket.” Adair shook his head. “I swear, the more fine and upstanding some people are, the worse they are.” He glanced up at Negan. “That’s why I figured you might be okay.”

Negan arched an eyebrow at him. “Because I’m not fine and upstanding?”

Adair waved a hand. “You know what I mean.”

Despite himself, Negan grinned. “I’m just fucking with you. I get what you mean. I don’t put on a fucking show.”

Adair nodded. “Exactly.”

When they got to the house, the police were already there. Negan tried not to look as irritated as he felt when he recognized the detective from the other day. The man looked vaguely annoyed to be there, and still didn’t seem to be taking things very seriously.

Olivia was sitting at the table talking to a female officer. Negan bristled when he noticed the detective had her phone. He had the green leather case opened, and he seemed to be looking through her texts. Negan frowned at that. Chet wasn’t pressing charges, but some of the texts he’d sent Olivia… Well, there could be trouble if they were still in there.

Adair clearly hated all of the police milling around his house, and made no particular secret of the fact, glaring at everyone who shouldn’t be there.

The detective made his way over, giving Negan a smile that didn’t touch his eyes. “So, we meet again, Mr…?”

“Just Negan’s fine,” he replied. He gave the other man an affable smile. Neither of them were buying the friendly act from the other. He wasn’t sure what it was about the detective that set his teeth on edge, but he didn’t like him. “Detective…?”

“Oh, wouldn’t dream of using honorifics since we’re getting along so well. Please, call me David.” He paged through Liv’s phone. “Looks like you two have been chatty.”

Negan narrowed his eyes. “Generally I talk to women I’m dating.”

The detective chuckled. “Why?” Before Negan could respond, he continued. “So, text from a blocked number, threats… pretty creative ones…”

He turned the phone slightly, letting Negan see the screen. There was indeed a picture that seemed to have been taken through the living room window. Negan sat on the couch, Liv curled up with her head in his lap. The resolution was good, and the picture clear. Probably taken from nearby, then. He caught a glimpse of the text and it made his blood boil.

“...maybe in front of your new man there. So you can hear him beg me to cut your throat and…”

Detective David pulled the phone back before he could read the rest. “So, we still going with the Chet Applegate story?” he asked, looking amused. “Think he’s the one with the massive hate on for your girl?”

Negan fought the urge to punch him. He took a slow breath and tried to school his features into something neutral. “Apparently there’s the possibility an ex may be involved.”

The man nodded. “Yeah, I can believe it. That kind of venom usually comes from getting fucked over in love. I’ll get some details. Probably still just bullshit, though.” He shrugged. Clearly he was unconcerned, and almost seemed to be implying Olivia brought it on herself somehow.

Negan entertained a brief fantasy of putting a knife through the man's’ neck. Too many witnesses, but the thought made him feel a little better.

He hovered nearby as detective David spoke to Olivia. He could tell she didn’t like being asked about the ex. Her eyes darted to him, and to Adair. Negan gave them some room while he shared what he’d observed from her phone with the younger man. Annoyingly, the detective seemed like he was going to take it into evidence. They’d have to get her something to use in the meantime. He wasn’t about to leave her without a way to contact him if she needed to.

Whoever had taken the picture had been in the yard. Either that or they had some remarkable resolution on their camera to take a picture that clear from far away. A few policemen were in the backyard, wandering around looking at the ground and in flowerboxes. They didn’t seem to be finding much of interest.

Finally the police cleared out. One of the officers made some noise about doing frequent drive bys in the neighborhood. He wasn’t sure that would help very much if someone was capable of bypassing security measures already, but it was all they had.

Olivia looked very small and vulnerable. He knew she was a grown woman and capable of taking care of herself, but… Well, there was something about her that triggered quite a number of his baser instincts. Not the least of which was to mark his territory around her and fuck up anyone who tried to violate that.

Adair was occupied on the phone with his security company, apparently giving them hell. That left him alone with Olivia.

She came to him, burying her face in his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her. Despite the situation, it sent a little thrum of pleasure through him.

“I’m sorry,” Olivia said softly. “I’m sorry you’ve gotten mixed up in all this bullshit.”

“It’s not your fault, doll. Shit happens.” He stroked her hair.

She looked up finally, resting her chin on his chest. “Adair told you about Brad.”

“That his name?” he asked. He was aware his voice had gone low and all too smooth. Negan was a man who could be loud in his anger. Expressive, with lots of movement and words. It was when he got quiet, though, that he was at his most dangerous. He was very quiet now.

She swallowed. “Yeah. Online dating. I was lonely and… going through a lot. I should have told him to go to hell earlier, but…”

Negan put a fingertip on her lips, stopping her. “We’ve talked about this, darlin’. Don’t apologize for shit that ain’t your fucking fault. Everybody gets played sometime or another.”

“I know,” she agreed. “Still sucks.”

“That it does.” He frowned slightly. “Do you think this could be him?”

“Last I heard he was still in on the heroin charges.”

“When’s the last time you heard?”

Olivia paused, thoughtful. “Maybe a month ago. I haven’t been keeping up with it really. Just when I think about it. That’s been less frequently lately.”

“Maybe we should check, just to make sure he’s not the fucker sending threats.” He let her go, but kept his hands on her shoulders.

She sighed. “They took my phone,” she complained. “I’ll have to borrow Adair’s or something.

“We can get you a temporary one tomorrow.”

She looked up at him a moment, with a little smile. “You know, you’re being a little too good to be real.”

Negan laughed at that, stepping closer. He tipped her chin up with one hand. “Oh, sweetheart, I am many things, but I don’t often get accused of being good.” He leaned down, his lips hovering a breath away from hers. “I’m usually considered a very dangerous man.”

“Good thing we’re on the same side, then,” she said and smiled.

“Yeah. And it’s bad for whoever’s stalking you. He best hope the fucking police catch him before I do,” he growled. He closed the distance between them and kissed her, hard and aggressively. He didn’t quite mean to let his anger seep into his touch. But the idea that someone out there was threatening her, was frightening her, was trying to hurt his girl… Well, it made him angry. And so his kiss was almost rough, claiming her lips with his own. Part of him wanted to lower his head and suck a purple bruise into her throat. To mark her as his own.

She gave a soft little gasp, and he realized his hands were digging into her hips tightly. He loosened his grip, pulling back a little. “Sorry about that, darlin’. Didn’t mean to hurt you.”

She gave him a crooked little smile. “Don’t be,” she said. Her voice was throaty and deep with lust. “I’ll let you know if you’re too rough. You’re not even halfway there yet, for the record.”

He sucked in a breath. It was like her voice and those hooded eyes had a direct line to his cock. He contemplated bending her right over the table then and there, but he figured Adair might object. Instead, he contented himself with tightening his grip again, pulling her roughly against him. “Didn’t I warn you about teasing, sweetheart? I’m starting to wonder if I need to fuckin’ do something so you’ll take me serously.”

Olivia’s eyes widened a little as she looked up at him. A little flicker of fear ran through her expression, chased by arousal. Oh, yes, he wasn’t going to be able to control himself very long with her. She slid her hands up his chest. “Like what?”

The direct challenge was almost too much to allow him to keep control. “You are really fuckin’ close to finding out.”

She was about to reply, and he knew from her expression it was going to be something that made him drag her upstairs by her hair, when Adair came in. Negan liked the kid, but right then he wanted to scream at him. Then, he saw the young man’s expression, and he shoved his distraction aside.

Olivia also focused on him, apparently quite aware something was wrong. “Adair? What is it?”

The young man was frowning, brow knit. “I checked on some things. Just because we were concerned and all. Brad was released on parole two weeks ago.”

@noodlecupcakes @genevievedarcygranger @glittered-unicorn-lava @feistybaby @adair-donovan

[carry-on-my-wayward-meg]

So I just realized there’s a password recovery request to one of my Social Media Profiles, from 2 days ago, that I NEVER SENT.

Hypothesis:

There is/was someone else trying to log into my account, without my permission.

My suspects to whoever I think could be, since I barely interact with new people:

- There’s someone I used to call “capricornian aries” because he has Mars exalted in the frequently annoying sign of capricorn, which usually lets him get shit easily than other people no matter how sick his ideas are and how corrupted will be everything he touches, making him immune of being aware of it. But I think this is just too light for this being. So I’m gonna call them “aries abuser” from now on, which is something I should’ve never being in doubt of doing, and always have done.

We had 3 times attempt of boring making out (I was trying to get over something and trying to experience new things that I never liked), which I regret BEYOND EVERYTHING.

He’s an entitled sexist PIG with a Rapist mind who will do NOTHING to please anyone he’s with and still can’t take any sort of No for an answer, who will satellite people until he gets what he wants from them, and who when I was finally not caring about his flaws, said “no” to me. Which was fine enough, I wasn’t really interested in him, until when I wasn’t even interacting with him, he bullied me because I moved on to someone else on the same day (or for no reason, which I can’t pick what’s worse), then much later, I realized this was just an small symptom of how unwarranted entitled he is.

He had an “ex girlfriend” (according to his own words), who was in a relationship with someone else for a while, then. He showed me she was complaining on FB that there was someone trying to log into her account and she just swearing everybody. He would talk with her on MSN as if he was her friend and then say condescendingly behind her back how crazy and sick she was of having a fit on FB and of thinking someone else would want to get into her account.

- “that thing”. There are few who might be more revengeful and sick than people with Sun/aspects in Cancer. TO THE DETAILS. After NO MATTER HOW LONG. And worse. He’s a dictator with Mars in Leo. And Sun in the most perversely sadistic degree of someone’s map. This is what he is. His most deep essence. Nothing different.

I don’t know how many times he deleted me from his profiles after an “off” period. I wasn’t an individual or a person if I wasn’t in a relationship with him or doing what he wanted. Yet, after deleting me everywhere at once for the last time, he would still mark his presence everywhere he would know I’d be. Convince my acquaintance-friends to do things for him instead of me. Make friends with WHOEVER I was interested on before I could get to them. He made sure to be clear he didn’t want me around but still be everywhere I was. He was cornering me. Apparently to him I didn’t have the right to exist. When he is the one that doesn’t.

When I was finally ready to try to get over the fact that I wasn’t enough for anything regarding him and be perfectly fine with it, he could not just purposefully be everywhere reminding me of his existence and his abuse.

Back then I was completely destroyed by the psychopathy of this thing, I am (or used to be, before this) a proud person regarding how much I should be dependable of a male (which I was completely right about, and will always be, no one needs to have ANY DEMEANOR to please their sexist shit). Regard doing anything big, I tried as much as I could and beyond to get over his abuse and go on with my life, of course I screamed to the world how abusive he was, no one cared, believed, or thought that I didn’t deserve it. He was everywhere. Not on my mind. Literally. Because of how long I experienced that, committing the hugest mistake of thinking he was just a dumb abusive little bitch that didn’t know better and I could deal with, instead of an actual psychopath, my emotional strength, my sanity, was mined. Only much after I realized. He wouldn’t decay from his shit or our fights. He would get stronger from EVERY interaction with me. No matter how much “I“ was decaying. He literally raped my mind. Even after many months, he was still getting stronger and I was still decaying. It felt to me like I was completely open to his will at any point in time he wanted to. I not only “tried” to get rid of this. I went for it fully with all my body, soul, mind, and the strength of each one of the roots I could have. It wasn’t enough. I needed to do something, even if childish to try to cut this link.

So I did something that wasn’t worth a tenth of what I went trough, but was a symbolism of something that happened.

I had the password of one of his accounts, and all the other ones were similar, easy to figure. So I deleted everything inside each one of them and deleted each of them as well. Social-Mediacide.

It worked a bit, but it was still not enough to make things back. I still wouldn’t get out of the house, afraid I’d see that anywhere and keep reminding me of all the shit. I didn’t even want it anymore anyway. He already had corrupted the entire town and would keep doing it as long as I would try to interact with anyone or anything.

It wasn’t much to him though. He didn’t fucking care that some or much of what was registered about his life was gone. He’s a fucking psychopath. Things like that only care that an “attempt of harm” was done towards him and that maybe “something must be done back one day”.

- the “gemini bitch”. Someone else that also can’t let people go. Moon in Libra. After years something had happened in her life, after living many things, interacting with many people, being in different relationships, she’d still try to manipulate anyone from her past towards their failure. Another psycho.

- That fucking whore. ‘‘leo landwhore’‘. The one that called the Asylum people on me and LIED TO THEM that I was BLATANTLY THREATENING TO KILL HER PERSONALLY, because I swore to her on a virtual chat.

I “LOST” my phone on the first days I moved in there and I NEVER BELIEVED that really happened. Everytime I “Lost” my phone previously, it would come back to me. And after ALL THE SHIT that was gone from my stuff because she wouldn’t let me go back there to pick them up and would terrorize me, after my BIKE was stolen since the FIRST DAY I locked it outside, I believe ZERO that I really “lost my Phone”.

SHE BLATANTLY STOLE MY PHONE to MEDDLE ON MY PERSONAL LIFE. Which would give her access to ALL my virtual profiles for first months/weeks. Who knows what else that LYING PSYCHO would do.

- I don’t think I ever mentioned this person here before or enough. There was this being, who was friends with the “aries abuser” and friend-acquaintance with “that thing”. After the shit with the first one, he still took his side and was extremely rude and sexist to me without even knowing me. We interacted many times later because from then we started having many acquaintances in common. Never much. But then, after the shit with the second one, he wouldn’t stop messaging me on FB no matter HOW MUCH I ignored him.

- the crazy eyed fat pisces. Which I think is an Aquarius. Close friends with “that thing”. It doesn’t matter if during, or after the shit with it, he would take ANY OPPORTUNITY to harass and threaten me verbally. He stalked and harassed me virtually FOR MONTHS with the excuse that “I” was the one harassing his friend, which was the same thing he did with EVERY girl his friend dated before me. And “that thing” did NOTHING about it. It LIKED that there was someone fucking shit up for him. He harasses everyone. The very girls he dates himself, and still NO ONE does ANYTHING about it. Another psychopath.

- Almost every far acquaintance male with Sun in Aquarius native from this country ever. Those above? Horrid shit was had in between. Males with Sun in Aquarius will try to HEAVILY SEXUALLY ASSAULT me literally out of nothing. Maybe after we small talked ONE TIME “MONTHS AGO”. One of them tried to finger me when I was slightly drunk trying to sleep. Another sent me many FB messages inviting me to drink on his house saying he was going to kidnap me. You think it’s bad enough? HE HAD A LONG THERM GIRLFRIEND beautiful for North-European standards. One of those that stands out in a sub-culture of an entire city. I COULDN’T BE MORE DISGUSTED. MALES ARE NOT LIVING BEINGS. THEY ARE THINGS.

A female who has never been sexually assaulted? IT’S A MYTH. I’M NOT EXAGGERATING THIS. This is most CERTAINLY a Myth as everything in your life you’re THE MOST certain off. It doesn’t matter with what weight. What color. What height. What culture. What mind. I’ve seen it everywhere. EVERY FEMALE was sexually assaulted.

And whoever says that doesn’t happen with “some”? That’s a fucking blind-eyeing self-victimizing self-centered psychopath. It doesn’t matter if they have been sexually assaulted and violated as well. Mental abuse does MUCH WORSE than ANYTHING PHYSICAL.

YES. Everyone is a fucking psychopath. It’s not my fault their frequency and that they’re everywhere. Don’t blame me.

- Any of my virtual crushes I've had over the last years, which I wouldn’t understand why, since I’m not really that interesting.