#(aoaf)

[simplymarr]

Chapter four.

warnings: none (yet).

I spent all weekend trying to guess what i had done, where i comitted a mistake. Over-analyzing each phrase, each word and tone used. I couldn't grasp it and i was losing my mind.

An then of, course, it was the shame. Why do i felt this way? I mean, he was just my professor. Professor Vincent Renzi. Two days a week. Nothing else. Maybe my mistake was thinking we could talk about everything we wanted and that he would understand. That we could be just friends.

"Yeah no, that's bullshit". Claimed Justine, interrumpting my train of thoughts.

Justine was my roommate and best friend. We could talk about everything as i trusted her like a sister. I mentioned the whole situation with Mr. Renzi to her and, with her usual histrionic personality, she pointed a few things to me.

"First he flirts with you and then he acts like nothing happened?" She said, with big eyes.

"He was absolutely not flirting with me" I interrupted, quite nervous just thinking about it. I mean, just the thought of it made me shiver.

"Well, let's just put it this way" Justine sat at the blue couch in the living room, taking a softer tone. "First, he complemetns your thesis, tells you you're brilliant. Then he offers to drive you several times and acts like you both know each other for years, and then he just completely dissappears?"

I sat in silence, thinking. Justine continued.

"I'm afraid you might not be the wrong one here, y/n". She let the words sink in the air as i just sat there in silence.

She was right. Fuck, she was right. All this confusion, all this twisted games weren't my fault. It was his.

-------------

Next week arrived and, with it, Mr. Renzi's class. I didn't t want to call him Vincent again.

The classroom cold as every winter morning. My fingers were nerviously tapping on the wooden table as i waited for him to start. I was going to wait patiently until the end, until he was all alone. A strange anger mixed with angst took over me, a build up tension that he had to resolve, one way or another.

The bell rang.

I slid over each seat until i got to his desk where he was picking up his books. He turned back surprised to see me. The two of us now alone.I looked at him with big eyes and started speaking, praying that he wouldn't fail me the rest of the year.

"Can i ask what happened to you? why do you act so different all of the sudden?"

He hessitated for a minute before asnwering me. "I don't know what you're talking about, y/n. Please, let's drop this." His accent getting harsher as he is getting, for the first time, nervous.

"Bullshit, you know exactly what i'm talking about" The words coming out of my mouth like knifes. "First you drive me home and everything's fine and then you just stop talking to me?". I looked at him waiting for an answer. a real answer.

"I won't do this right now. Not here." His tone firm. He wasn't joking.

"Vincent, plea-"

"I'm still your goddamn professor". He said, almost yelling. Big blue eyes pierced at me.

I couldn't articulate any word. I just looked at him as i could feel the tears behind my eyes, threatening to come out. My head buzzing with all the words i wanted to say but couldn't.

I left immediately, and as i walked down the stairs i heard him calling my name, trying to stop me. This was such a stupid idea. What did i thought he was going to say? What did i expected?

I stepped out of the building once again, almost running, wanting to escape from all that happened. Tears finally rolling down my cheeks, pink nose and lips.

A couple of blocks later i could hear a car getting behind me. I kept walking without looking back. The car kept on near, almost stepping by my side. I didn't need to look to know who it was.

The window opened. "y/n, let's talk, please".

I didn't answer, i just kept on walking on the freezing sidewalk. He, again, tried to reach to me.

"y/n, please. I'm sorry for what happened".

I stopped almost instantly. "Do you mean in the classroom? or all that nonsense you pulled last week?

"Just me explain it to you".

I hessitated, looking at him. His looks quite concerned, the strands of silver hair falling on one of his eyes. His cheeks also seemed pink, like he was freezing too.

"Please" He insisted.

I opened the door and got into the chevy.

Silence again. Like the first time.

He was driving with both hands, his gripping on the steering wheel harsher than usual. He kept his eyes on the road as he spoke:

"You're right, okay? i was an idiot. You are on your right to be mad".

I kept on listening in silence, also looking at the road.

"I-i just...i don't know how to explain it. I can't do this, i can't be near you this way." he stuttered a bit as he tried to explain himself.

"But why? what's the problem? i thought you enjoyed talking to me.

"I do, believe me i do. It's just-" he kept looking at me as i was letting my words come out in confusion.

He parked near the bus stop.

"Vincent, please, I don't really underst-"

He didn't let me finish the sentence, as he grabbed my face with his cold hands and kissed me firmly.

His eyes closed, perhaps trying to feel it was all just a dream. I just stayed still, eyes gently closing as i was losing myself in the kiss, beggining to understand the reason of my ache. He tasted like sweet coffee, maybe cigarettes but not too invasive. Our mouths began to move slowly, with precaution, like if we were tasting each other's limits. The tip of this tongue softly touching my lower lip with each movement of his lips. I could feel his nose brushing into mine, both cold as the windows began to glisten with heat. One strand of my hair fell and he put it behind my ear, using that hand to hold my cheek.

Gently he broke the kiss, opening his eyes to look at me as we both grasped for a breath. I couldn't believe what just happened.

"Now you understand?" He said, almost whispering, with a shy smile.

"Yes, now i can" i thought to myself. Not only his feelings, but mine.

next chapter soon

[griaustinis]

i'm seriously unwell about swann arlaud. everyday I go on tiktok and just watch edits from anatomy of a fall (i've probably got up to 20 saved). i scroll on my fyp and i hope to get an edit and i do. for about to days it was every ninth tiktok vid which is not enough. I've created three playlists (one specifically for his character in anatomy, one for sandra from anatomy and a third one) I've started writting fanfiction about vincent renzi. i downloaded the movie to make video edits of him WHEN I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EDIT. i just know a few songs that i think fit him (vincent). i cannot focus on anything and I've got serious uni work. and i still managed to watch two movies he's in in three days. idk what kind of hormonal storm i'm living through but can it at least calm down enogh so i can get stuff done? because this is just ridiculous. frankly, embarrassing. i don't even know a word strong enough to describe the absolute nonsense that is my current situation

[h3ad1st4hal0s]

chapter four of anatomy of a fall

how the fuck is Gerard so clueless? he's just believing that Frank is a homeless teenager in the woods? okay buddy

[inlovewithacheerleader]

is anyone else into hiking in the woods of Vermont or is it just me and this kid who keeps whispering to himself

[killva-creates]

do I know that frerard was never real? yes. however, that tag has some of the best fics I have ever read and contributing to that tag continues to improve my writing ability, so.

[astralwritings]

y’all the aoaf brainrot is so bad that i had a dream i was in a minor role in the movie but justine triet pulled me aside after filming wrapped up and was like “we won’t be able to use any of these shots in the final cut but i can email you the scenes you’re in” 😭😭😭😭😭😭

[soulsintheashes]

i'm officially insane about vincent renzi (and swann arlaud). i saw anatomy of a fall for the first time 10 days ago. but i really want to see it again before it leaves the theaters at the end of next week so wednesday i'll be skipping a lecture to go watch a movie (and catch a cheaper screening). not just any movie, my babygirl vincent <3 never in my life had i been to the cinema twice to see the same movie. but it's honestly my new favorite movie of all time, it's that good

[battiez-secret-blog]

Literally my bathroom sink T.T

[idontknowwhyimhere102]

yeah, sure, just admit to the killer of your ghost boyfriend that you know about their crimes. nice going Gerard, ya dumbass

[angelpukq]

guyyyssss im feeling so sicky today 😩😩 please look at my silly lil guys bcs ill probably never color this in

[notreallyzofi]

He's wearing red, I just noticed that. Symbol of guilt, but also of love and passion. This, and the fact that in the flashback, Samuel was speaking but we could hear Daniel's words makes me think that he did make up the story. Anyway, i just found this interesting. Love this movie.

[inlovewithaspiderguy]

Tumblr doesn’t care about French films except when it can stop me from frerardblogging, of course

[h3ad1st4hal0s]

reading aoaf for the first time and this is accurate

BRUH WHY IS FANFIC MIKEY ALWAYS SO TRAGIC. ASOTM MIKEY THE MOST SAD SHIT EVER. THE ANATOMY OF A FALL MIKEY, POOR FUCKIN GUY STUCK IN THE HOSPITAL. UNHOLYVERSE MIKEY not as bad but still sad and i relate to him a whole bunch.

[mochii-derogatory]

for all of my time spent in the mcr fandom ive never once read anatomy of a fall. gonna liveblog reading it i think

[harbingersecho]

if i am not with him, i'm nothing

[wendybyrde]

Anatomie d'une chute | Anatomy of a Fall headers

reblog or like if you save <3

credits to @lauralinnsy on twitter/X